ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Megan Podcast - December 12 2019

Episode Date: December 11, 2019

Fletch ordered Mac and Cheese at a fancy restaurant, most searched kiwis in 2019 and weird places people got married?See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

ZM. Head music. Lives here. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. Thanks, Anya. Good morning. Welcome to the show. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. Happy Thursday. Good morning. Megan's half asleep. Yeah, well tired today. What's the problem, eh? You had a bit of a rough, rough sleep. Yeah, it was hot. I'll give you that. Yeah. No other explanation?

Not like I was out partying or anything? You've switched. Fletch was. Again? No, no. I was home by like six. But I did go out for some more drinks. Yeah, we had a boozy lunch yesterday.

Because tomorrow's straight after the show. You're out. Done, yeah. You're done. And this is what happens. Fletch leaves the day we finish work and comes back the day before we start. I would come back the day we start. You have once.

I did once, only because the flight was delayed. Yeah, I remember that. And you walked in like two minutes. Oh, yeah, yeah. I think I heard the first break in the Uber. Yeah. And then literally came in. Straight.

But most of the planes land like 6 a.m., so that doesn't work. So you're doing all your merriment. Yeah, catching up with friends, doing the Merry Christmas thing, and then, yeah, take off tomorrow. Yeah. What I meant to ask was on the back of her Her, sorry On the back of this Sheila over here Saying it was hot Yeah

How's your Because you've switched to your coverlet Oh yeah, the coverlet And you've got a ceiling fan Do you remember when this changed my life? Was this the start of the year or end of last year we talked about this? Was it end of last year? I don't know

Because the duvet Any duvet was too much. It was too hot. Yeah. And so I just wanted like a cover and they're called coverlets. Oh my God, they're amazing. Life changing. Yeah. Because it's just heavy enough.

Yeah. And just enough to get you a little bit too cold. It's like a heavy sheet. Oh my God, it's amazing. But not made of a thick flannelette. No. A light cotton. Yeah. But a high thread count. a heavy sheet. Oh, my God, it's amazing. But not made of a thick flannelette. No. A light cotton? Yeah, light.

But a high thread count. Yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. So good. It's a snob when it comes to his... But they're hard to get here. It was hard to find one of those. I think you said that last time.

I think we got inundated with links. That's right. No, it's not. That's right. People literally said, you dumbass. Sorry, let me rephrase that. A nice one. That was the...

That was the... I remember one day after the show, we sat around for about 35 minutes going, ooh, yuck, who would buy that? Ooh, yuck, who would buy that? Because a lot of them are nannery floral ones. Yeah. Because they look like quilts. Because they've skipped a generation.

Yeah, yeah. But they do make some nice ones with, like, you know, plain-ish... Geometric patterns. Yeah, shapes. The sewing machine must run in some, you know, plainish. Geometric patterns. Yeah, shapes. The sewing machine must run in some kind of. You've just got to find them. Yeah, exactly. Good hunting, everybody.

We've already talked about this last. We don't need to go into it. Oh, my God. It gets me so jazzed. It gets me. The coverlets are the future. Because what is that section of Briscoe's? Manchester.

Yeah. Manchester. But I don't know if they do, if Briscoe's do a coverlet. Oh, you know, I wasn't saying that. I just meant that, yeah, the Manchester section. They always say 20% of Manchester. Anyway. Riveting stuff.

Why are you falling asleep, aren't you? Because you're talking about Manchester for the sixth minute. The absolute sass of it. Briscoes does have coverlets, you bitch, too, by the way. Oh, do they? Yes. Also, happy wedding anniversary, Megan. Thank you.

For the first time around. It's my 10th year. All right, you lot, listen up. It's story time. All right, story time. I've found three news headlines, interesting, quirky, odd, unusual news stories, and Vaughan and Megan must deliberate and pick one story headline only.

Okay, Fletch. Headline one, teen goes beyond. Teen goes beyond. Headline two, lynx evacuation. And headline three, bodybuilder proposes to sex doll after getting it plastic surgery. Holy, that's a lot to take in. It certainly is. Also, wouldn't you just call it surgery?

Because it's already plastic. Plastic. I'm, um, that one. That's all in the headline, Bourne. It literally is all in the headline. I don't know what plastic surgery he got it. Can you just tell us? I don't want to

waste it on that story. Did he break it? I don't know if it it. Oh, can you just tell us? I don't want to waste it on that story. Did he break it? I don't know if it says. Well, he wasn't. Apparently he wasn't happy with the... Oh my God. ...aesthetics. Wow.

What? So just get a new one. I don't know if that's how it works, Vaughn. He'd fallen in love with that one. Don't you remember that Ryan Gosling movie where he falls in love with the sex doll? Yeah, but that was Ryan Gosling, so that was forgivable. Like, that dude could do anything.

He'd fallen in love with his personality, so he needed to change the outside. Exactly. A new one wasn't going to do, because they're not the same born. They're different sex dolls. Listen to yourselves. Hey, I'm not shaming this man. He can do what he wants. Do what he wants.

He can do what he wants. I'm not shaming, man. He can do what he wants. Do what he wants. Do what he wants. I'm not shaming, man. He do what he wants. That was just an interesting take on the English language. I liked it all. Okay, well, fine. I'll Google the, what is it? Bodybuilder.

Teen Goes Beyond or Lynx Evacuation. Lynx is an L-Y-N-X. Yes. Okay. What do you want? No, you choose. Teen what? Goes Beyond.

Teen Goes Beyond. Okay, that's vague enough that I'm interested. Okay. Are you Googling what he did to the doll? Yeah, but I'm not sharing it with anybody. Because you didn't want the story, Megan. Nobody wanted it. I also have Google.

That's against the rules. We go now to North Carolina and employees at a Bed, Bath and Beyond store. Do we have that here? We've got Bed, Bath and... Bathroom. Oh, no, because that's Bath. What is our one? No, because everyone knows Bed, Bath and Beyond, right? But do we, because that's bath. What is our one?

No, because everyone knows Bed, Bath and Beyond, right? But do we... Our one's called something different, isn't it? Bed, Bath and Table? Yeah. Is that what it was? No, Bed, Bath and Beyond online.co.nz. Oh, we do?

Bed, Bath and Beyond.co.nz. But there is just Bath and Table. Bed, Bath and Table. Right. But is Bed, Bath and Table different to Bed, Bath and Beyond? I mean, if I was Bed, Bath and beyond and then bed, bath and table came in, I'd be a bit like, um, excuse me. Yeah, but then you can't be mad at them because they've got tables and you don't.

You've got everything. Or are they just selling the things that go on tables? Actually, I mean, I don't know, to be honest. What goes on a table? Well, anyway, the employees at the bed, Bath and Beyond in this North Carolina store discovered an uninvited sleepover when they opened up on Monday morning. A teenager, a 14-year-old, had run away from home and had discovered the Beyond section and was camping out.

The teen wasn't harmed, was taken back to their house and released immediately. That's really all there was, is that a teen just stayed overnight in a closed store. And we've all thought about this and we've been in a big giant store, haven't we? Yeah. But I wouldn't want to be stuck in just one store. I'd want to have free run of them all. A mall. Yeah.

You'd want to be stuck in a mall. Okay. What are you Googling, Megan? to have free run of the whole thing. A mall? Yeah. You'd want to be stuck in a mall? Mm. Okay. What are you Googling, Megan? I'm just trying to find out what he did to the sex doll to change her looks. He said when he presented the proposal picture to the world, she got a lot of criticism. And everyone was like, you know that she's a doll, right? So he gave her plastic surgery to change her up a bit. Also, he wasn't doing it because he didn't like the look of her.

No. People didn't. Yeah, she's got her own Instagram page. Margot is her name. I feel bad now because I feel like Margot is a real person and I can't make jokes. He's an actor. He might have been doing this for a TV show

The Starz documentary Silicon Soul premiered in October It'll take a close look at those What the hell Who are actually dating dolls Oh wow He said that she swears a lot But she has a tender soul Italy's first sex doll brothel opened last year

And it was immediately booked out for weeks And sales of male sex dolls are also on the rise. I blame Ryan Gosling and that movie. Yeah. He started this. He made it cool.

Lars and the Real Girl. Yeah. It's the time of the year where dictionaries and there are multiple dictionaries declare their word of the year. So it... What dictionaries do we officially recognise? dictionaries, declare their word of the year. So it... What dictionaries do we officially recognise?

I just thought there was the dictionary. Oxford. Oxford. Merriam-Webster. I'm out, I'm out. List of official... A ship came into the harbour carrying dictionary brains. That would be...

You know, librarians would be like, let's roll, baby. But if you were starting the game. Oxford. And then, yeah, you'd win because you'd never get around the circle before you had to drink again. So there is quite a few officially recognized English language dictionaries. The Dictionary of the English Language. No, Brands. Brewer's Dictionary.

Oh, Brewer's. Yeah, okay. Canadian Oxford. Century Dictionary. Chamers Dictionary. Oh, Brewers. Yeah, okay. Canadian Oxford. Century Dictionary. Chambers Dictionary. Collins English Dictionary. Oh, Collins, yeah. The Concise Oxford Dinglish.

The irony there. The Dinglish. Let me just check my Dinglish Dictionary. Dinglish. Concise just check my dinglish dictionary. Dinglish. Precise Oxford English Dictionary. The Longman Dictionary. Oh, the Longman, yeah, yeah. Macmillan Dictionary.

The Macquarie Dictionary. That's an Australian English official. Oh, yep. Official dictionary. The Merriam-Webster. That's American English. Okay, right. The New Oxford, the Oxford,

and the Random House Dictionary of the English Language. Plenty. Well, I've got the Merriam-Webster and the Oxford for you. So the Merriam-Webster, and these aren't new words. They're words that they deem to be very much searched or used a lot in the year. Right. So the Merriam-Webster word of the year for 2019 is they.

Just a small little word that we're all very well aware of. That's like to or the. It's cheating. Of course everyone uses that word all the time. So it's a personal pronoun. And they have had a 313% increase in lookups on their webpage. Famously Sam Smith. Yeah, well, they said it started in January.

The model Oslo Grace identifies as a transgender non-binary walking in both men's and women's shows around the world and would prefer the pronoun they. So people started googling. There was a few other

examples but yeah, Sam Smith was a massive spike for them as well when he put on social media that, when they put on social media that they identify as they. I think we even that morning Googled they just to get like a good breakdown of what that word actually means because you say it all the time. It's officially known as the singular they because they is a third person like collective. Right.

And one official and they say so that's they, the collective they and they the singular they. Right. And now we've said they so much that it's stopped making any sense to your brain. Yeah. So the Oxford word of the year. That's a noise meme because it's two words.

Oh really? Is it hyphened or no? No. Climate emergency is their word of the year. Yeah, that's a phrase. So yeah, obviously, it's pretty obvious why that is. Everyone's talking about it. It's a massive thing. So climate emergency is the Oxford word of the year.

Dictionary Wait, was this dictionary.com? Yeah. Theirs is existential. Oh, yeah. We mentioned that the other week. Yeah. And cancel culture is Macquarie Dictionary's word of the year.

Cancel culture. Brilliant. Yeah. That's where, you know, like someone makes a misstep and then the only rational thing to do is strip them of their will to live. Basically. And like a public pile on. Yeah. the only rational thing to do is strip them of their will to live. Basically, yeah. And like a public pile on. Yeah.

Because the people that are piling on have never taken a misstep in their life. No, never. No. From the ZM Think Tank, this is the Top Six. Hello there. Today's Top Six dealing with this idea, summer Fridays. That is where workplaces give you the Friday off, effectively. Okay.

Maybe some places it's only the Friday afternoon off. But in the summer months when you can go outside and make the most of the nice weather. I don't know if it rains, whether or not you still have to go to work on Friday because technically it's not nice weather. Maybe you could bank up and do like a Thursday, Friday next, the next week. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Wow. I kind of like that idea. If your workplace lets you get your work done,

why can't you leave at lunchtime on Friday or have Friday off? I've always thought of those flexible work hours, like if you can get your work done in five hours, the same amount that you had to get done in eight. Why not? Why not? Yeah, a lot of workplaces do that now. It's great. Yeah. So the top six summer Friday alternatives, because why just

be happy with summer Friday? Let's get some other ideas out there. Yeah, be cool. Number six on the list of the top six summer Friday alternatives, five-hour lunch breaks. Okay. You come to work, two hours. I mean, week. Two more hours.

I mean, we did a two-hour corporate lunch yesterday. And that was... Oh, I was very snoozy after that. I wanted to go to bed straight away. I needed a little lie down. Yep. Number five on the list of the top six summer Friday alternatives are optional Monday.

Okay. We can come if you want, but you don't have to. You don't have to. Wait, but this is an alternative to the Friday. So you couldn't do summer Friday, then Optional Monday? Or could you? That depends how cool your boss is. Okay.

Hey, boss, do you want to be the cool boss and see workplace productivity fall through the floor because it's sunny outside? Yeah. Number four on the list of the top six summer Friday alternatives are Taco Tuesday. Great. Sounds great. There's free tacos. Who was trying to trademark that?

Wasn't there some kind of famous sports person or... Celebrity was trying to trademark that. Trademark Taco Tuesday. Yeah, I know. The absolute cheek of it. I thought it was a restaurant that was doing it. Oh, maybe, yeah. It wasn't Taco Bell, but I thought it was...

Wasn't it? It was LeBron James. Yeah, that's who it was. Oh, just an update on that. He was denied. Why was he trying to try my hair? Good. Number three on the list of the top six

Summer Friday alternatives are 40 Winks Wednesday, where you get to have a sleep on Wednesday at work, if you want. Okay, sounds great. You can bring your own. Caitlin was doing that under her desk yesterday. She loves it under the desk.

Yeah, she does. But she's got a lot going on. Oh, understandable, yeah. Packing house and stuff. And she drank like three days last week. She's been drinking every day. Big blowout. I will not have you shame my...

I'm not shaming. I'm simply identifying. Alcoholism. Yeah, well, it's summer, you know. You've got to have a drink at night. You're absolutely in the departure lounge, though, because Vaughan beat you to work today. You've got two days left.

I know you're sad about me leaving. You don't need to tell me every single day that I'm in the departure lounge. What if it could for me today? I bet Bernie and Oliver Kirby would work too. Is she even at work? I never meet, I never beat Bernie. She is, yeah, I saw her.

Oh, right, okay. Before. I said, Bernie, what time do you call this? You get on TVA and these radio people, they just swan in whenever they want. I've been swan in whenever I want. I know. 15 years. I know, mate.

Number two on the list of the top six summer Friday alternatives are work from home Thursday. But work from home Thursday. Yeah. Today I'll be working from home. I'll be on my emails all day. You'll be on your bloody Jonas Google search. Play with yourself Thursday.

And number one on the list of the top six summer Friday alternatives. You remember how a few years ago, public holidays, if they fell on the weekend, got Monday-ized? Yes. So it would carry over to Monday? Yep. And that's what we still do now. If your Waitangi Day falls on it or Anzac Day,

it gets carried over to Monday. I propose my number one alternative to summer Fridays, we Monday-ize Saturday. Because we don't get to enjoy the day off work on Saturday because we're not at work. Yeah. So technically, this holiday has fallen on the weekend. So we need to Monday eyes Saturday.

You need to bring this up with the Prime Minister when she's in tomorrow. I will. Great idea. I will. Yeah, no, thank you. I thought so too. That is today's top six.

There's been a lit-lit-bot-bots recall. Lit-lit-bot-bots. Lit-lit-bot little bot bots recall. Oh, no. Little bottles. I know. Yeah. Little bottles.

If you don't speak. If you don't speak. Baby. Let little bot bots. Many bottles of Lindau bubbly has been recalled. This is the Lindau. Now, correct me if I say this. Fraise.

Fraise. Fraise. Fraise. Fraise. I was going to say fraise, but then I noticed the E doesn't have a thing over the top of it. So that means. It's French for strawberry, right? Get out.

What's that? God, you're so fancy and cultured sometimes. Is it? Yeah, it is. Yeah, Fraise. Thank God. It's when something is a white brandy distilled from strawberries. Or a wine, a strawberry-flavored wine.

Lindale and strawberry. Now, that's been recalled by Lianne Newton, I believe they're pronounced. Lianne Nathan. Oh, really? They're not French either. The French bottlers. Okay, so the four-pack of 200 mils. Now, there may be some glass contamination.

Oh, no. That's not contaminated glass. mils. Now there may be some glass contamination. Oh no! That's not contaminated glass. It's been It's good glass. Sterile glass. Yeah. It's just broken. Right. What in the actual Lit Lit Bot Bots? In the Lit Lit Bot Bots they found evidence of

glass in a filling valve. So in the interest of consumer safety we've made the decision to recall the small batch. But if I give them back my four pack, do they give me a new four pack? Oh, absolutely. Yeah, full refund. Batch number L9164PW37420

colon 27 to 20 colon 39. I mean, you could have told listeners to maybe get their phone ready. And L9165PW37407 colon 41 to 07 colon 54. Should not be drunk. Because I've got the five threes.

Sorry, did I say five four? I meant five eight. Yeah, your five threes are in the mix. No, you've got two. You're being recalled. See, if I made it'4"? I meant 5'8". Yeah, your 5'3s are in the mix. No, you've got two. You're being recalibrated. You're being recalled. See, if I made it to the batch this summer and with my little bot bots of Lindau,

and then someone was like, oh my God, those are the ones that got recalled. I'd just get the sieve out. Roll it through a sieve. I'm with you. Roll the dice. I'm with you. Pour your bubbles through a sieve.

What if it's minuscule glass? Yeah, a mini sieve. A mini sieve sieve. You'll shit that out. A bit of roughage. I don't think it's... I remember as a kid, my granddad, we always got plastic corked wine.

We were not a bougie family. You're a plastic cork wine. Meg is a plastic cork wine. What do you mean? Like it's cheap wine with a plastic cork. It's not a cork cork. It was a plastic cork. So they were all with a plastic cork. I agree. I grew wine in the show. What do you mean? Like it's cheap wine with the plastic cork. It's not a cork cork. It was a plastic cork. So they were all

with the plastic cork. I agree. I grew up on the stuff. And one time somebody bought a corked wine. Oh yeah. And my granddad

tried to do that thing where you knock the top off of the, like you know how they do in flash restaurants and just shattered the neck. And we're all like standing out there

as kids wanting to catch the cork and he's just like good one Granddad the family were like someone was like well we can't trade that

it's got glass in it and my family were like to hell with that it is going through a sick we all catch the glass and everybody was like pour the wine and then you let the bubbles

set the head settle a bit and then he's like check the bottom of your glass for glass. Nothing. Cheers. Merry Christmas, everybody. Oh, my God.

It was good. Loose. It was good stuff. And no Smith's died in that. No one died. No one died. God, pissed blood for the rest of summer, but I'm a man. Fine.

ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. A week today, Star Wars The Rise of Skywalker is going to be in cinemas this is I know you guys aren't like huge Star Wars fans I like the last one The Last Jedi

The last one we went to I like that Did we go to The Last Jedi or did we go to The Force Awakens? I think we might have gone to The Force Awakens Yeah the first one with BB-8 Yeah

I like Rey Yeah yeah No she's awesome awakens well i think we might have gone to the force away yeah the first one with bb8 yeah yeah i like ray yeah yeah no she's awesome she is a jedi yes correct yep and i like darth i thought he was a fun dad i don't know if we just call him dad no one calls him they call him darth vader megan you call him if you're only going with one. Oh, really? No, Darth's his title. Oh, so he's like Mr. And isn't Vader like father?

So it's like Mr. Father. It's Dark Father. Oh, okay. Like straight German, but Darth's a... Well, he was like, I mean, he was a bad guy, but he was fun. He brought a bit of drama. Like Garth. Garth.

And that guy from Girls. Yeah, Adam Driver. Yeah. Kylo Ren. Yeah. Garth. And that guy from Girls. Adam Driver. Yeah. Kylo Ren. Yeah. Bad dude. You actually get to see it on Wednesday. Yeah, well, next Wednesday night.

Yeah. I'm very, very excited. I've got a hot four-pack of Mandate. Oh, really? Yeah. Okay. For lads. Right.

It's the lads. I said to Shadady when I come, she was like, I'm okay. Well, you're so excited about this. You would never let anyone come that's just going to talk. Oh, God, no. No, no, no. Well, no, Megan is coming, but she's not allowed to sit by me. I'm not sitting by you.

Because you ask too many questions. Fully clued up. So I was challenged to recap the entire Skywalker saga. So that started in 1977 with A New Hope. Right. And then in the late 90s, early 2000s, we danced back to the origin stories

of Anakin Skywalker who becomes Darth Vader. And now the two of the three sequels are out before the release of The Rise of Skywalker. So The Rise of Skywalker. So here we go.

Can I just say, you said you were challenged to do this in a minute. There's a music on the end. Oh, okay. Because I was going to say it's a minute. Oh, so it's just over a minute. Okay, this is what we know about the Skywalker saga to date.

Number one, Phantom Menace. We meet Anakin Skywalker and he's a slave. Liam Neeson gets cut in half. Anakin ditches his mum and becomes a Jedi in training. Movie two, Attack of the Clones. Timura Morrison is 90% of the characters. Anakin's an angsty teenager Jedi apprentice who's in love and that's a Jedi no-no. Movie 3, Revenge of the Sith.

Big good guy Palpatine's actually a big bad guy called Sidious. Anakin is allowed to be Jedi Master. His lady dies. He goes full bad boy then catches on fire due to lack of high ground, becomes Darth Vader and his girlfriend had secret babies. 19 years later, it's movie four, A New Hope. It's a trap. Farm boy Luke Skywalker gets a lightsaber from old Ewan McGregor,

then old Ewan dies. Luke kisses his sister, didn't know it was his sister, blows up the Death Star. Movie five, Empire Strikes Back. Luke meets Yoda, learns more about the Force, fights Darth Vader, loses hand. Darth Vader says, I am your father. Luke says, no!

Movie six, Return of the Jedi. Luke gets a robot hand. There's another Death Star. Big bad guy from Revenge of the Sith shoots Luke with electricity. Darth Vader throws big bad guy down a hole, becomes good guy again, then dies. Death Star blows up again. 30 years later, movie seven, The Force Awakens. Orphaned Rey has Jedi powers, but so does new bad guy Kylo Ren.

Big, dark, angry, moody type. You know the ones. They have a lightsaber fight. Another Death Star planet thing blows up. Rey finds Luke Skywalker to learn Jedi tricks. The Last Jedi, movie number eight. Rey gets really good at Jedi stuff. Teams up with Kylo Ren to find a new big bad guy.

Then Kylo Ren fights Luke Skywalker. He's ghost tricked. Rey escapes. Rise of the Skywalker? Who knows? Stay tuned. Brilliant. That was actually pretty good.

You're up to date, Megan, next week. That's all you need. I feel like I've got no questions. You don't have any further questions. ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Megan. The podcast. It's the end of the year, and we have lots of lists of what Kiwis Googled in 2019.

I do love the Googling list, especially when they break it down by region. Oh, New Plymouth. Oh, God, New Plymouth is... I haven't broken it down by region. My hometown is a shocker. They're always Googling... How to make a bomb?

They were the number one bomb region for a while. Bomb and porn, wasn't it? Yeah. Bombs and porn. Gabe? It was Gabe? Yeah, I know. I know.

Yeah. To get a little bit more specific. Well, this is about the diet trends that Kiwis were Googling in 2019. What's the big one?

Can we guess? Keto? I would have said keto. But it's not number one. Plant-based. Yeah, weren't you doing the keto diet in Tunania for like two days? She did it for a while.

A week, a month? You did it for a while. Yeah, I did it last year for like six weeks. Was it not this year? No, I did. And then I gave it a second run, but the second run was a lot shorter. It was maybe four days. What lured you back?

What was the weakness? Because, you know, every diet you have to exclude something and that becomes the thing you crave and then that becomes the downfall. I think the first time I did it, I lost about four kilos. And then I was like, woohoo, rediscovered carbs and put on six. Right. Yeah. So now you're two. Yeah, six. Right. Yeah. So now you're two.

Yeah, right. Okay. Yeah. So carbs, bread. God bless pasta. Chicken wings. Pasta. Chicken wings.

All about them. Yeah. Are they not keto? Hmm? Are they not keto? Well, it depends what they're cooked in. Because if they've got a flour coating, no, that's not keto. Right.

But nobody wants chicken wings that don't have a coating. We want that crunchy. What about buffalo sauce? Is that keto? Yes, a lot of them are, actually. Shut up. Really? But there's only so much buffalo wings one gal can eat.

That's true. That's true. But that's not the most Googled diet this year. Keto. Yeah. No. It does feature twice in the top ten list. Number ten is Atkins. Okay. That's kind of on the out a little bit, isn Keto. Yeah. No. It does feature twice in the top 10 list. Number 10 is Atkins.

That's kind of on the out a little bit, isn't it? Yeah. Well, let's not remember that Dr. Atkins had a heart attack on his stairs because of his clogged arteries.

People love to say that though, don't they? Abs though. Yeah, true. He looked hot when he was falling down those stairs clutching at his chest.

Number nine on the top 10 diet searches in New Zealand for this year is vegan. Okay. Number nine is vegan? Yeah. I expect that to be fine.

But then that's, is that something you need to Google? Eat plants and salad? Yeah, but you don't know exactly what you can have. Yeah, you need to know what to exclude. Okay. I just thought everybody knew. I mean, there's the big ones. You don't eat meat.

Yeah, obviously. Yeah. Low carb diet was number eight. The Dubrow diet. Dubrow? Dubrow? D-U-B-R-O-W diet? Never heard of it.

Yeah, I'm not sure about that one. Number six. Fletch is doing a quick Google search. Here we go. Sorry. You're late. What you're late on the Dubrow diet. They steer you towards certain portions and amounts of food,

such as two or three, three to four ounce servings of protein and a couple of tablespoons of fat each day. Oh, right. So it's more about servings. Yeah. It's probably quite a wise one, actually. Yeah, because you're still getting a bit of everything. I reckon I could squish a quarter pounder down in my...

To a fist fist size serving. Probably get like four quarter pounders if you take them apart and squeeze up the bread, there's your cup. Take off the bread, squish the meat, that fits in the palm of my hand. One serving. Done. Number six is the keto

diet. It says, what is keto diet? Right. Because this is specifically what people are googling. Okay. Number five, the Mediterranean diet. It says, what is keto diet? Right. Because this is specifically what people are Googling. Okay. Number five, the Mediterranean diet. That's olives and fish and oils and lots of fish. Yum. Feta?

Is that big on feta? No. Is that in there? I don't know. Well, I certainly love to add feta to my salad. This is why people have to Google diet so much. Am I allowed feta? Am I allowed feta cheese? Yeah. Am I allowed gin and tonics I allowed feta cheese? Am I allowed

gin and tonics? Then it gets real loose. You're in. You're in. You can't have feta. On your traditional Mediterranean diet. And gin and tonics.

Low fat and non-fat dairy products. Blah, blah, blah. Dairy products common to the traditional Mediterranean. Feta. Halloumi.

Brie. Manchego Parmigiano Parmigiano Reggiano It's just Parmesan Right okay Wow

I feel like this diet's me That one Yeah I like the meat I can go The main protein sauce I'll eat everything Apart from the main part Do you eat crab sticks?

No That's not fish. Yes, it is actually fish. It is actually fish. It's noodled up white fish. Pooed out of a machine to make it look like a crab leg. Like a sizzler. It's the sizzler of crabs.

It is the sizzler of the sea. Sizzler of the sea. Crab stick. They're missing out on a marketing thing here. The sizzler of the sea. Okay, I've still got four more. Okay. Diet Doctor, that's a website.

Okay. Where they do keto and low-carbon. Right, okay. Keto Diet Plan is number three. So keto does actually kind of feature in there twice. Right. That's the third most Googled diet in New Zealand for this year. Okay.

Number two, FODMAP. So that's the one. What's that? So that's the one that people say can reduce the symptoms of irritable bowel syndrome. You know, like onions, garlic, there's certain choices that you leave out. So people actually with bowel problems and these are the people that use this diet. FODMAP, yeah. Right, okay. And number one, the number one diet search in New Zealand for 2019 is a plant- this diet. PodMap, yeah. Right, okay. And number one, the number one diet search in New Zealand for 2019

is a plant-based diet. Wow, okay. Number one search. Plant-based, wow. That's good, eh? Yeah. Good on us. Sustainable living.

But a lot of those diets would all be high-protein, low-carbs that people are Googling there, eh? Yeah. Interesting. Fletchvorn and Megan podcast. Thanks to... Who left that email ding onling there, eh? Yeah. Interesting. The Fletch, Vaughan and Megan podcast. Thanks to...

Who left their email ding on? Was that you? Aren't ya? I'm recording. The Fletch, Vaughan and Megan podcast. Thanks to Spark. Wrap up any mobile this Christmas with a Spark prepaid gift box.

You can turn your dinger on now, aren't ya? Don't give me that look, Megan. So Fletch is straight after the show tomorrow, jumping on an airplane and doing what he does and disappears for a month. Hey, can you give us your item in a memory? Sure. Why?

No, because I'd just like to know where in the world you are at any given point in case something happens. Yeah, that can happen. Because you still use that app, right? TripIt. TripIt. Oh my God, I love that. Can you export that?

Is there like an option where you can export? Yeah, you can invite people to view your script. That's what I do to mum. I send it to mum. Mums love knowing where you are. And they love to, does your mum ever go like, oh, I looked at your flight and you've landed safely? Yeah.

My mum wants to do that with you. Why? Because she just worries. She's like, always during the holidays. It's fine. Have you heard from Fletch? Where is he? Oh, because remember that time

I was somewhere and that factory exploded. Oh God. We was in a factory explosion and you guys all messaged me and were like, are you dead? And I was like,

no, that happened on the other side of the country. It was a fireworks factory. Oh, Mexico. Was that Mexico or something? Yeah, maybe somewhere. And I was like, oh my God, you guys care.

That's good. Well, I don't. Mum does. Right. My mum will just see you on the gram. Right. So make sure you post things on the gram. That's right.

She does. She's got a joint with a Smith. Yeah. Just keep that in mind next time you're posting stuff that my mum can see what you're up to. And then she asks me and I don't have answers. Right. Okay. Yeah.

That sort of. Yeah. What's going on there? What's going on? Yeah. Well, okay, yeah. She's like, what's going on there? What's going on? Yeah. That's a famous question. That's what she says. That's nice.

But anyway, before the show, you were talking, because you're all packed, right? You're getting packed. Well, I'm nearly, I'm 98% packed. Mr. Preparation. There's a couple of things in the wash that need to be added. Last minute checklist. And then, yeah, I'm good to go.

Are you, the clothes that you wear today well this is my big struggle when we're going away the clothes that you're wearing today what are you doing with them? Well I'm not, I've already packed all my clothes. Yeah but what do you do with them? Do you leave them dirty at your house or do you Oh my god no so this is what I did last

year. I left like maybe a couple of pairs of undies, some socks and a t-shirt and a towel. And I put it in the front loading washing machine and shut the door. And I was like, well, I'll just wash them when I get back. I came back and the whole thing was mold because of the heat. Oh, yeah. Can't breathe.

Yeah. So I like washed them like three times. And I was like, oh, yeah, they're good to go now. But I was like, oh, my God, stuff's growing in my washing machine. Yeah, yeah, yeah, when you're going for that long. So this year I'm going to do a wash before I leave and hang it all up on the clothes. Right, so it can dry. Wrapped dry.

Because I'm not doing that again. Yeah, because that's why I always just chuck it in the basket and then you leave it there for a couple of weeks and you come back and it always smells so manky. Yeah. This is what would happen if I didn't wash. But you are packed and it was your packing sales that was your topic du jour before the show today. If you were so bored about this, why... Why is there a plane of smoke outside the building? Oh, yeah, something might be on fire

or something's just started up. But that's concerningly dark. Sorry. Bored's worried. If you're so bored to death by my packing chat, why are you bringing this up on air now? Because we had to sit through it. Everybody else should have to. Absolutely rip the chat why are you bringing this up on air now? Because we had to sit through it

everybody else should have to Absolutely rip the piss out of you Sit as well When you tell the story with such passion So I talked about these last year

and I tell you I got so many messages about them packing sales it's revolutionary you put all your t-shirts into these things you get them from Kmart

Katmandu everywhere sells them and they're like little kind of compartments and you zip them up. They've got like zip flaps and they're see-through. And you put all your t-shirts in one, all your undies in one, all your socks in one, and all your pants and shorts in another. Zip them all up and then you put them in your suitcase.

It's changed my life. You couldn't possibly just have all your shirts in one corner and all your shorts in one. No, because when you're going in and out of your suitcase like every couple of days, it just all ends up being like mishmashed. Do you have to roll, do you still roll before you put them in

to make the most of your room? A rolled shirt takes up far less room. No, I just like pack them nicely down and they all fit. Oh my God, they're next level.

Yeah. I'll have to put a photo on later because like organisational pornists will just love it. Yeah. For those wondering where he's going with this,

that's it. That's it. He's not where he's going with this, that's it. That's it. He's not going anywhere. That was interesting. It's organisation. How many packing sales have you got in the bag? Probably got like... Bullshit, what are you doing?

I've got a photo. I've got a photo. Oh my God. I don't care that much. How far? Wait, can I scroll? No, no scrolling at all. No scrolling at all

Otherwise you'll see shit Definitely scroll See you make it Why are you taking a scuba mask A snorkeling mask What do you mean Because I'm going snorkeling Why is higher a mask

Why don't you just get one there No because when you hire a mask Other people's noses Have been in them Is it a brand new snorkeling mask No I've used it before Oh my god Very rarely

It doesn't look like it It really annoys me Because when you take a scuba mask you've got to go through the customs lane to declare it. Why? Because it's like sports. You've used it in the why not? I just wash it and I don't bother. Don't worry about it. Make sure there's no starfish

in it. I was going to say this is a Nemo in the snorkel. Now quick scroll. But yeah no it's great. It's um. Scroll. I don't want to scroll. I don't want to ruin my Christmas by saying that. That'd be a real real tarnished way to end the decade. I don't want to ruin my Christmas by saying that. That'd be a real tarnished way to end the decade. I feel like I get fit. How was the decade? Dad, what was the 2010s like?

Well, kids, it was great. It started out wonderfully. How did it end? I don't want to talk about it. Fleshfauna Megan, the podcast, ZM. Ed Sheeran has been named the Artist of the Decade in the UK. So was it last week Spotify announced Drake was their Artist of the Decade? Or the most streamed artist of the decade?

Most streamed, most streamed. So Ed Sheeran in the UK, he has achieved this milestone of being the artist of the decade, having 12 number one singles and albums between 2010 and 2019. That's more than any other artist. He has spent the most weeks, 79 at number one in both the album and singles charts in that decade. Wow. So over a year. So that's insane.

Shape of You was the biggest hit in the 2010s. That was 14 weeks at number one and sold 4.5 million copies. That was Spotify's most streamed song of the 2010s as well for an individual song. Did we play that? Shape of You. Once. Did we play that?

Once or twice. Shape of You is one of three Ed Sheeran singles in the top five of the decade list. So I've got the list of the top ten singles of the decade. Right.

If you want to hear those. Clean Bandit. Now this is in the UK. Jess Glynn, Clean Bandit. Rather Be. It was big, what, five, kind of five years ago that came out.

Justin Bieber, Sorry is eight. John Legend, All of Me. That's a beautiful song at number eight. That's the song he wrote for his wedding, right? Yeah. Pharrell Williams, Happy at seven. Drake Legend, All of Me. That's a beautiful song at number eight. That's the song he wrote for his wedding, right? Yeah. Pharrell Williams, Happy at seven.

Drake, One Dance at six. Perfect Ed Sheeran at five. Desposito at four. Oh, yeah, that was massive. It's huge. Ed Sheeran, Thinking Out Loud at three. Uptown Funk from Mark Ronson. Bruno Mars at two.

And Ed Sheeran, Shape of You, the number one single of the decade in the UK. Three Ed Sheeran songs in the top. Yeah. But Shape of You, the number one single of the decade in the UK. Three Ed Sheeran songs in the top. Yeah. But Shape of You, he doesn't get all the royalties for. Remember? That's right, because he lost that court case. It's a TLC.

Yeah, no scrubs. The top 10. And did you notice No Adele? Oh. Oh, yeah. Did you even? Because most of those songs would be up songs, wouldn't they? Even Shape of You.

Yeah, but we still loved a bit of Adele. I know, I know. And songs aimed at a younger demographic that was streaming earlier in the decade before older people got on board later in the game. Yeah, maybe. But then Adele sold some CDs. Yeah.

Yeah, well, she has albums in the top 10 albums of the decade. She has the number one album of the decade with 21. 25 is the second biggest album of the decade in the UK. And then Ed Sheeran twice. The Boobs

and Sam Smith. And again, Ed Sheeran. So, yeah, I mean, they would be absolutely making some cash. Wow. Ed Sheeran doesn't have to do anything else, eh?

Well, that's why he's bought that entire town. Yeah. Ed Sheeran. What's it called? Ed Sheeranville? His whole little village? Sheeran. Sheeranville.

ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. Congratulations are in order for Livvy and Justin. They got married on December 7. No, you're not supposed to know who they are. It's where they got married that is what I want to talk about. So these two bloody love a hike. Megazine, I cannot understand this. Over their whole relationship, they've done lots of different tracks and stuff.

Yeah. And they decided that they wanted to get married at the Pinnacles Hut on Coromandel Peninsula. We've been there. It's a beautiful spot. Lovely spot. That's actually one of the- I'm done with it. When we were there, though,

because I went at high school when it was like really new. It's been done. It got like reno'd a year or so ago. Did it have a zhuzh? It's had a zhuzh. It's had a zhuzh. It's a massive hut. Yeah.

It can fit a hundred or so people. Last time we were there, you'd say it needed a zhuzh. It's had a zhuzh. I think it's had a zhuzh. It's had a zhuzh. It's a massive hut. Yeah. It can fit a hundred or so people. But last time we were there, you'd say it needed a zhuzh. It's had a zhuzh. I think it's had a zhuzh. Yeah, it was shut for a while. Okay, that's hot play. You're having a good one now, aren't you? Great day walking.

You can stay the night if you want. Well, yeah, and you can get up early and watch the sunrise up at the pinnacles. You actually climb up on them. Yeah, right. Megan's like, no bloody way. They've described the three-hour walk as uphill most of the way. Is that right? Yeah, right. Megan's like, no bloody way. They've described the three hour walk as uphill most of the way.

Is that right? Yeah, it's uphill. But it's an easy, I think the Pinnacles is an easy tramp. Okay. So that's cool. Like if you want to,

I'm not shaming, this is totally what they wanted to do. But I mean, if I was a guest, I would have been like, oh, how well do we know each other?

Because they had to hike three hours. They had to take everything with them. They other? Because they had to hike three hours. They had to take everything with them. They took food because they had the reception there. The only thing they didn't have was cake. They had cake a couple of days later at home because taking a cake. Hard to tramp on a cake.

So she had a wedding dress, a full on, what you'd imagine, wedding dress. She rolled it up, put it on top of her pack. Everyone had their gears, so they got changed and settled all up once they got there. Huh. But like their gears, so they got changed and settled all up once they got there. Huh. But like, oh, it'd be sweaty and nasty.

And there's no, is there a shower? There's a shower at the Pinnacles Hut. It's cold, though. Oh, right. Yeah, okay. So, I mean, once you can see like a wedding photo, they got married on the emergency helicopter pad. And so they set up like a little stick and foliage backdrop. So they got married at the hut or near the hut. Yeah. Okay, not up. And then they set up like a little stick and foliage backdrop. So they got married at the hut.

Or near the hut. Yeah. Okay, not up. And then they had the reception at the hut. Right. Where they had Mexican wraps and salads and meringues and fruit for dessert. So everyone had to bring stuff. Everyone had to cook, clean, decorate. Everyone had a job to do. And then, but there also would have been

like randoms at the hut as well. Like it'd be cool that would be cool If you were the only people But that hut is so busy Yeah It's 80 beds right Yeah Yeah

I mean it's not my cup of tea And everything would have to be Cooked on a gas On a gas hob Yeah Yeah But I mean Good on them

That's what they wanted to do They pulled it off And they said Everything went to plan So Good on them Well that's what they love They love Obviously love the outdoors.

Yeah. I think it's quite a cool idea. And it probably would have been quite cheap too. Yeah, probably. Cheaper, yeah, than a standard wedding. But you could have also helicoptered, and there's a helicopter landing pad there for like evacs and stuff. But they had 60 guests though.

They're trying to keep costs down. Oh, no, I was just thinking like helicopter. I'm still thinking about how they didn't have a cake. Oh. Oh, how they didn't have a cake then. I don't care about guests. You had me at cake. I was trying to solve that problem.

I reckon I could hike in a wedding cake. We got that goon in. Fine, that wine goon. Yeah, but the goon you don't need to be too careful with. You just chuck it in, but a cake, you'd have to stick it on top and balance it the whole way. Yeah. Well, off the back of this Pinnacles wedding, I was wondering if there are other people out there that got married in unique locations.

Right, okay. Different... Like unusual spaces. Unusual places. Right. I mean, you didn't have... You might not have had to hike into it, but maybe it was just a wedding that wasn't at a traditional place. Yeah.

So those weird kind of odd, unusual wedding venues. Give us a call. 0800 Dials at M 9696. It doesn't have to be your wedding. You could have just heard about it or been a guest. Right now talking about those unusual wedding venues, locations.

Yeah. Somebody said I went to a wedding at the Butterfly House at Otago Museum. I've been there. Megan, you hated it. Flying spiders. Oh my god. You hate the Butterfly House at Otago Museum. What band there, Megan? You hated it? Flying Spiders. Oh, my God. You hate butterflies. And they're all on you.

No, no, no, no. The Butterfly House at the Otago Museum. It was so humid and surrounded by dying butterflies. Super romantic. They've since split up. Oh, dear. Right. Hashtag awkward.

You could say that those, because don't they only live for like a little bit? Yeah. There's a sweet spot where they get them from overseas. They're in there and then they die. But like their marriage. Yes. Poetic. Poetic.

It's past. My uncle suggests we use his gang's pad in Christchurch for our wedding. The missus wasn't having a bar of it. Well, free venue hire. Come on, maybe she's being a bit silly. Party treats for guests Good security Great security

Very high tin fences And then they can tie the tin cans and the just married sign to the Harley Yeah I'm about to go to a wedding in a military camp I'd imagine that'd be quite a popular location for a On a military base For soldiers and stuff What, um

Yeah, okay. My auntie had her wedding in a movie theatre. We got movie snacks and all. That would be cool. Yeah. Like for a guest. Yeah. Well, you get a nice comfy seat.

Yeah. Where do you have the reception? That like mini arcade just outside? Yes. With the spaces. Anonymous has called up. Anonymous, where was this wedding? So it's on Saturday at a military camp.

Oh, this is a text we got. Okay, right. So you're a guest. I am, yes. And is there any special instructions on what you're supposed to do? Well, my partner was in the military, so it's one of his old army buddies. Right. And do you have to do the ropes course and stuff to get in?

No, not quite. Do you have access to the tanks? Like, any military equipment for photos? Well, I wish I could, but, you know. Yeah, no promises. Well, if you ask somebody about that, we want to let off a grenade on the show next year. That's our 2020 goal.

Maybe you could get the ball rolling on that, Anonymous. Absolutely. Okay, cool. If you see some people in uniform, just drop our name. Yeah. And then get in touch. That would be lovely. Thank you, Anonymous.

Carrie, what was your unusual wedding venue? So they recently got married in Zimbabwe. We were both originally from there, but lived in New Zealand for a while. Yeah. So we decided it would be a good idea to go back home for our wedding. Okay. And then we got married on the Zambesi River and hired out a safari lift. And our wedding was the day of our wedding.

It was an afternoon wedding, so they went out on boats and stuff. Yeah. And they managed to catch a baby crocodile, which was about a metre long, and they decided to hide it and then put it on the wedding table to steal all the other guests. Wait, a live crocodile, or they killed it? No, a live one.

Did they duct tape its mouth shut or? Yeah, I think somebody found some tape. Yeah, right. Oh, my God. And it was running around the dance floor and it was a nightmare. That was literally my first question when you said we're getting married, we got married on the Zambezi River. I was like, but what about crocodiles or hippopotamuses?

No, it was a pretty wild wedding. Pretty wild wedding. There was people catching snakes and all sorts as well. Oh my gosh. Wow. Carrie, thanks for your call. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan.

The podcast. Producer Caitlin, her second to last show with us. Ever. Oh my God, it's so dramatic. Ever. We've been dramatic this last week, haven't we guys? We have a little bit.

For those that don't know, you're going to become a nurse. You're going to study nursing next year in Christchurch. Yeah, I have to pass, but that's the dream. That's the goal. Otherwise, you will end up back here. Yes, I will. Because there's literally nothing else you can do. No, exactly.

So hopefully you'll take me back in two years. We won't ever talk about the nursing thing again. Oh, would you do that for me? Caitlin's back. Oh that's so nice. On a Monday we'd be like oh and what happened to you on the weekend producer Caitlin and we'd pretend you'd never left. Oh thank you so much.

Fletch would hold it over my head though. Oh behind the scenes, yeah. Oh whatever, Vaughn would be the first time to make a joke about it. I'd make you say, like, you'd say, oh, I've been with them for six years. I'd be like, no, technically, no. Because we went on a break.

We were on a break so we had to restart the clock. That's what Vaughn's pet hates is when people restart a relationship. When they break up. Yeah. Like they say,

oh, we're not together and then they get back together but they carry on like it never happened. Yeah. What about our breakup when I left the show? Acknowledge it 100%. No, because I just

counted as one big chunk. Like I never left. You were made to leave us by the management at the time. Yeah, I didn't want to. In a global recession. I went under duress. Is that the right word? Yeah, absolutely. Well, we are replaying some of our favourite Caitlin moments

and this moment, this morning, probably one of my favourite. And we go back in our time machine to the show. How many years ago? Four years ago? No. Two? Yeah, January two years ago. Yeah.

She went to Kenya instead of coming to Hawaii. Sorry, so you missed Megan's wedding. I know. To go to Kenya to help. And I. That's right. So you missed Megan's wedding. I know. To go to Kenya to help. And I don't honestly hold that against you at all. No. No, you weren't like really quick to bring it up just then or anything. I don't know where anyone would get the idea that you were holding it against you from.

So you went to Kenya. You did some orphanage work in Kenya. But you also got to do a little bit of sightseeing. And we rejoined the show in 2018 after you've returned to us here. Well, she's back from Kenya. She's been a month there over the Christmas break. And she got up to a whole lot of shenanigans. Producer Caitlin came back to New Zealand with one less sock.

One less sock. Yeah, RIP sock. And this is what we want to talk about now because we've all been travelling and we've all found ourselves in that moment where we're caught short. Well, so I took a night bus to Mombasa, which was supposed to be eight hours, and it was 12 hours. And the day before, I'd eaten a piece of goat that had been hanging on the tree all day at the orphanage.

Why was that a good idea? Well, because you can't say no to food, Megan. You have to eat all the food. I ate a piece of goat that had been hanging on a tree all day at the orphanage. Because when my nana wouldn't let me leave without eating, it was always like a bit of shortbread or... No, for real. You don't understand.

You have to eat all the food. Do you want the goat and the tree? No, thanks. No, you can't say that. So anyway, the bowel region was not great. So the whole bus ride, which is supposed to be at night, and I was like crowded on this bus, needing to obviously go to the toilet,

like about to vomit, just horrific. Anyway, we had one stop. I ran off the stop, got to the toilet, hole in the ground, best thing I've ever seen, went to the toilet, and then I realised that there was no toilet paper. But what about anything that resembled toilet paper? What about all your vaginal wipes? I was in a rush

to the fridge. I was going to like poo my pants. The vaginal wipes were on the bus. They were on the bus. I didn't carry them in my pocket unfortunately. Oh no. Can you use a vaginal wipe? Oh shit, yeah. It would have a vaginal wipe? Oh, sure as yeah. It would have been better than what I had to use,

which was when I looked down and realised that the only thing I had available was a sock. My sock that I was wearing. To be fair, that's really smart. I don't know.

I probably would have thought about the sock. But the thing is, is the sock I'd had on for a very long time. And it's very dusty in Kenya. And it's very hot as well, so very sweaty. What kind of sock was it?

It was a white sock. Not a full, full... Full length. Well, no, no, like came up to above the ankle. Okay. Without getting too graphic, no, no, like came up to above the ankle. Okay. Without getting too graphic, what was your technique? Did you put your hand inside the sock? Well, the worst thing is I, like, you know how, like, when you,

this is so grim, you have diarrhoea, like, it doesn't just happen once. So, like, I was on the toilet and that happened and I was like, I think I'm good. How close were you to using your other sock? I just on the toilet and that happened and I was like I think I'm good and then I went to stand up How close were you to using your other sock? I just used the same one and just like turned it rolled it over

That's what I thought if you put it in your hand you get three wipes I reckon But there was no like because it was like one of those hole in the ground toilets it wasn't a long drop it was like

you have to put water down it I was like I can't put the sock in so I had to put it in the rubbish bin. Which is next to the toilet. Did anyone question why you only had one sock on? No, no. How did the water go down

the, did you have to put it in a little bucket and pour it down there? Yeah, and then put it down. My question would be, why wouldn't you use the water to clean your butt and then save your sock? You should have seen the water, mate. Right, honestly. It was worse than a sweaty

dusting ankle sock. Yeah, that was literally... Yup. We'll cut that off there. Definitely I still think one of my favourite Caitlin moments. I still can't believe that happened. Of your time here. How am I not sicker than I was?

You ate goat off a tree that had been hanging all day. And wiped my bum with a sock. You had a great time in Kenya though, didn't you? I did. I loved Kenya. You went on a date in Kenya too, didn't you? Remember that? I did go on a date.

That was great. You went on a date with that guy and Google Translate. He was actually pretty good with English. It was just like he didn't get my funny jokes. That's why I'm not married to a Kenyan. Google Translate doesn't do good with jokes. The jokes don't translate. Yeah, I'm not married to a Kenyan now,

but that was a good time. Well, we've got a present for you here. Present. Day four of the last week of presents. This is so nice of you guys to do this for me. That's no problem. I can't remember what today's one was.

Really? Ah! Socks. It's socks. Yay! Nice. Of white socks. These are beautiful

and they're going to work really well under my crocs from yesterday. Yes. Crocs and socks. Your nurse's crocs. Yeah. And I won't wipe my bum

with these. Thank you so much. Ple nurse's Crocs. Yeah. And I won't wipe my bum with these. Thank you so much. Pleasure. Tomorrow on the show, another one of our favourite moments, and I think it will be quite an emotional show tomorrow because Caitlin's leaving us, and I think your present tomorrow

is going to make you cry, I'm just saying. It's onions. Oh, my God. Run that through Google Translate. Ariana Grande. Wasn't funny in Kenyan either. Yesterday, we got taken out for lunch. This was very nice.

It was very nice. Our company lunch. It was to a very nice restaurant. The patronage of this restaurant was so white that they probably really enjoyed our chat with Simon Bridges yesterday. Probably, yes. Very white. It was very fancy.

So I always remember, it's in the viaduct in Auckland, I always remember this place being the place that Jay-Z and Beyonce had lunch at. Yeah. And like when celebrities come to town, they always go there. What did the white people say? I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. Crikey.

But real fancy. Yeah, well, work was paying. Like I would never have, it's not the kind of place I'd go because like it's so expensive. I've been there once before and it was because somebody gave me a voucher and I was like, where's this? Yeah. I was very confused by the whole thing. And you'd turn up in your jandals and shorts. Yeah, I was like, I'm not dressed appropriately.

Like even yesterday I felt I probably could have dressed better. Shorts and a t-shirt. So we sat down and looked at the menu and, well, I wasn't paying. So immediately I just, when I'm not paying, I don't care what it is, I'll order the most expensive thing. That's what the idea was. But, you know, if you were ever going to pay

for someone's meal, you never tell them you're paying because they will do this. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What you do. Yeah. Oh. Yeah. Well, the person that was paying, it was work.

Work was paying. Oh, yeah. Work can pay you. So, go crazy. Usually, they're most expensive things like a steak or like a lobster or something. That's right in my wheelhouse, baby. And Vorm was like, steak? 60, what was it?

$68? $69? Yeah, it was a Wagyu. Yeah's right in my wheelhouse, baby. And Vorm was like steak, $68, $69? Yeah, it was a Wagyu steak. And I was like $69 for a lunch. Mine was like $20. Yeah, but then you both went like $20. I was like, well, if we average it out that we're expecting to spend $40 each, then this is okay. This is still.

Yeah, right. I'm about to get roasted, aren't I, for my lunch choice. Because I wasn't paying, I got a steak rare and an old-fashioned. Which was steak and whiskey lunch. Yeah, and the guy said to Bourne, he showed him the iPad, because the menu's

on the iPad. He's like, which whiskey? And Bourne literally picked the most expensive one and then said, ha, work's paying. And the guy just laughed. He gets it. He loved it. And then what did he call me when he brought it back? Ah, Squire.

Yeah. Here you go, Squire. He knew. He knew he's a guy that's never going to eat here again. He must have, like, after that, he came around to my side of the table and we were like, we'll get a Bubbles. And he was like, why get a glass when you can get a bottle? So Megan's like, instantly, yes, work's paying.

Bottles of Bubbs. Yeah, sure. So, there's bubs, there's steak, there's bourbons. It's lovely. They get to Fletch. What do you want? Fletch orders a mac and cheese. There was so much roasting here that I had to taste it when you got there.

And it was amazing. And it was a nice mac and cheese. I'm not really a mac and cheese guy. Neither am I, but I was just like... It's macaroni and cheese. Maybe bacon or ham. These flash restaurants, they use all these words in their menu. I'm like, I don't know what that is. I had fancy cheeses, eh?

Yeah, like there was a chicken and then after that, it could have been in another language. It was in another language. A lot of dishes are in other languages. Yeah, right. Okay. Yeah. So anyway, I'm like, this mac and cheese, I see it and I'm like, oh my God, mac and cheese.

I haven't had mac and cheese for ages. And I love cheese. This is not the place for a mac and cheese. No, but I think it is the place because- Because, yes. They're not going to skimp on a good cheese. You know, you're going to get some fancy kind of cheese. Parmigiano-Reggiano.

Reggiano. Yeah. Reggiano. Manchego or something else that you can't pronounce. So I was like, oh, that would be Lowell's. And, you know, it was quite, you know, probably one of the cheapest things on the menu. And I was like, I'm not paying.

I was disappointed. But then someone we were with was like, oh, my God, I've had this. You've got to have it. And I was like, yes'm not paying. I was disappointed. Someone we were with was like, oh, my God, I've had this. You've got to have it. And I was like, yes, okay, you know what? I'm going to have mac and cheese at this fancy restaurant. And, oh, my God, it was the best mac and cheese I've ever had in my life. I'll give them that. And I won't be judged.

It was delicious. And I don't have any regrets. It was not a mac and cheese lunch. You're not paying. It's still like, it's still just a slop on a plate. It was bougie mac and cheese.. You're not paying. It's still like, it's still just on a slop on a plate. It was bougie mac and cheese. It was macaroni elbows.

No, it wasn't elbows. It was straight ones. What are those ones? They were straight little tubes. Yeah, they were little straight tubes. So they didn't even bend them? That is lazy pasta maker. They wanted you to know

they didn't get their macaroni from Countdown. Pretty much, yeah. There is no difference between the macaroni you buy at Countdown and the macaroni there apart from the looking at the vendor. No, but the straight ones were real yum for some reason. Because they were covered in cheese. You are my children when we go to a restaurant.

What do you want? Fish and chips. What do you want? Nuggets. What do you want? Mac and cheese. I don't have three children, by the way. That was just them ordering the same.

Yeah, right. At different times. At an Indian restaurant, butter chicken. Yeah. What's wrong with butter chicken? Chicken teriyaki. If there's Japanese, I want chicken teriyaki. And Thai?

I know either pad thai or... What? Chicken pad thai. It's either chicken pad thai or spring rolls or ginger chicken. Oh my god. Yep. Oh, just mac and cheese. Mac and cheese. It was so yum. No. It's yum.

It's such a cheat day. Granted, it's yum, but you weren't paying. Yeah, but I'm not gonna pay. How good was the $60 steak? Oh yeah, Jawan cut off a little bit and it was actually real yum. You are a kid. Dearly me, I'm a bit of a steak. He's like, that bit's too big.

Cut that bit in half. He actually did. He's like, no, that would be too big for me. You cut that in half. I don't want to choke on it. I'm chewing, I forget to chew, I just swallow. And then I'm going to need a home leg. Like $8 worth of steak. I was like, I don't need that much. I didn't pay for it.

And then dessert came around and I got the most expensive dessert as well. What was your dessert? I just got ice cream. He got ice cream. With a thing underneath it. I don't know, Megan. A caramel cake.

Yeah, but they called it something else. Anyway. If someone else is paying, mac and cheese is not acceptable. This is the thing. If we else is playing mac and cheese it's not acceptable. This is the thing. If we go back there ever, if work ever take us back there

I'm getting it again. You're stuck. Because I've got my thing now. You've got your thing. It's my this restaurant's butter chicken. Lots of people want you to know that you're the most basic of bitches.

Thank you. My name is Mackenzie. I am eight. I love mac and cheese. That's one of the text messages. Oh Mackenzie. You and Fletch can go out. See, Mackenzie gets it. She gets it.

You and Fletch can go out for dinner. Yeah, Fletch didn't hate children, Mackenzie. You could have mac and cheese, but that's not going to work. No. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. And it is time very soon when Vaughan stops chewing for... Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Parmigiano We should do Fact of the Days with themes

Like a genre Like opera Like a week of cheese Or Like the theme song in different genres Yeah Oh that could be tough But I like a challenge

I've actually got my own music today You're gonna need to hit my Vornox. Vornox. DJ Vornox. Standing by. I feel like I'm a fish under the ocean. Oh, no. I'm a fish in space.

I feel like I'm a fish in space. And you're like... Because you're a fish and you're like, I don't know how to get any of that. Because you're a fish and you're in space and you've developed the ability of conscious thought. Yeah, yeah. But you've got a little helmet on. Ah, no! You're in a fish bowl that is a helmet.

Yes. Ah, yeah. Floating space. Yeah. And there's a little astronaut man that you swim around. In the helmet. In your fishbowl. Okay. Oh, like a toy at the bottom.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's a little bit scungy because they haven't cleaned your bowl for a while. And then... I really love this music. It's so relaxing. So, this is from a 1976 album called Mother Earth's Plantasia. This is by Mort Garson. Yeah.

And this is nice music. This was an album that Mort wrote specifically for houseplants. Oh my God, Fleets, you need this. I need this. Yeah. Do houseplants actually like it or? He thinks so. It is drug and juice state.

He certainly thought so. Mort had just smoked a little Mother Earth's Plantasia. And this is actually Plantasia, the title track. It's so beautiful. Oh, really? Like, I could literally put this on one afternoon, just be on the couch, like, in a hungover state, just like...

Contemplating life as fish in a helmet aquarium floating through space i do feel quite calm yeah it's very calming and uh the fish you're like they should put this on as hold music when you're on the pole yeah god that's a awful so this is plantation this is the title track we've got more yeah okay we can always go back to plantation. We can always go back, yeah. It says symphony for a spider plant. I've got spider plants. Because you know what I've said next year 2020 is the year that I don't kill house

plants. Yeah. You're thinking I need this on all the time when I'm not home. You leave on the way out the door, you're like, Alexa play Mother Earth's Plantasia. And it starts playing this to the houseplants and they thrive in your absence. Oh, this is what I need. This is Baby Tears Blues. Okay, this sounds like he's just gone demo on the keyboard.

Yeah, he pressed the demo button and he's like, I need three more tracks. Go back to the original. Oh, no the demo button and he's like, I need three more tracks. Go back to the original. Oh no, there's one down here called, you don't have to, you don't have to walk a begonia.

It does sound like the begonia's walking. Come on begonies. Come on. I absolutely love this music. It's real. Because when I listened to it, and I found this fact when I listened to it last night, it is real.

Like, you heard that music, you immediately started to create pitches for it. Yeah, yeah. Like adventure. Yeah, we were all in a fishing space. We were all in a fishing space. And like this one, the minute you said walking plants, I imagined a whole, like a hedge of begonias all walking in unison together. You know, like it's that music.

I imagine my begonia had a collar and a leash and we were going walkies in the sun. We all imagine different things. Yeah. This is music to soothe the savage snake plant. I've actually got a snake plant. Have you? Snake tongue. What do they call it?

Snake tongue? It's a bit slower. Yeah, that kind of thing. Oh, I know which one that will be. Just go back to the original. Yeah, next time I think. Oh, I know which one that will be. Just go back to the original. Yeah. Fish in space situation. Okay.

So today's fact of the day is in the 1970s, in 1976, Mort Garson released an entire album that he didn't want you to even listen to because it was an entire album for houseplants. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. The most searched New Zealanders from Google, before I said spirits people, but it's because it's mostly made up of spirits people.

And it's our second last day at work and I don't care anymore. That started about back in June. It was a strong first half. Yeah. When they locked in Christmas holidays, you stopped caring. Once you get over sulking at January, February that you're back at work.

That's my Jan, February. That's the sulk. That's the six-week sulk. I call that the six-week sulk. And then it's the countdown to the Easter break. And then you have that. And then you start another sulk about having to come back to work. And then you're halfway through the year.

So the year's pretty much done. So you stop trying. And then it's just like a zombie walk through the last bits. And then you think, is it October? And then, ta-da, last week of work. And you do that. You do that over and over and over until you die. Oh, my God.

And that's life. That's life, isn't it? Yeah. Wow. That's what you've got to look forward to. No, there's good stuff that happens. It's just not at work. Oh, my God.

So the most searched Kiwis in New Zealand is another one of these end of year lists we've got. Megan, Scott McLaughlin at 10. Yeah, Scotty. Give it the jandal. He drove his V8. Oh, I thought it was a singer with Angel. That's Sarah McLaughlin.

Scott McLaughlin's sister, Sarah. Yeah. Okay, right. So, no, Vaughn, that's not McLachlan. Scott McLachlan's sister, Sarah. Yeah. Okay, right. So, no, Vaughn, that's not how computers work. Oh, my God. Number nine, Sonny Bill Williams. We're all familiar with him. Yep.

Aren't we? But what specifically were we Googling? I think it was a Rugby World Cup year, and there was all that chat about him getting that massive contract. In Canada. And he got it right. Yeah, he did, yeah. For millions of dollars.

But it doesn't specify if you went Google News or Google Image, right? A lot of B images. Well, you click on News and then you go Image. Yeah. But one o'clock Sunnyville. A little pudding. Yeah. You have your main course.

You fill up on your mains. And you've still got room for a little bit of pud. Yeah. So you pop next door. Next up is Robert Whittaker. He is a fighter. Okay. He fights in the UFC.

He's New Zealand born, but Australians are kind of claiming him. So we'll claim him because he's doing okay. Sarah Dowie is number seven. Let me just copy and paste her name into Google. Are we going to hit a female stone? That's good. That is the New Zealand politician who had all the stuff with Jamie Lee Ross. Remember, she was the one that sent him the...

Oh, yes. That's not good. That's all right. Okay. So that's our first non-sports person? That's our first non-sports person. Okay, in the top ten. Next up, and we're back into sports.

Okay. Anna Wilcox is next. She did Dancing with the Stars. Right, okay. She's on Crowd Goes Wild. She was on Dancing with the Stars for a little bit. And she's winter sports. She's skiing and stuff.

Okay, yeah, right. So she was on the list. That's interesting, though, because she hasn't been sportsing. No, but probably because she was on the list. That's interesting though, because she hasn't been sportsing. No, but probably because she was on Dancing with the Stars. And people were like, who's this? Let's find out something.

Let's find out about Anna yet. Next up, Kane Williamson in at five. Steady the ship. Yep. Kane Williamson. Four is Lorde. Oh yeah, okay.

She's still getting the Google. Yeah, still getting the Google. I reckon a lot of people will be like, where's her new album? Or is it because everyone was saying she was in prison in New Zealand? Oh, that's right. That's right.

Everyone's like, what? Free Lord. Yeah, Free Lord, no. Number three is Ryan Fox. Golfer. He plays golf. Yep. His dad is Grant Fox.

Yeah. Yeah, all black. Kicker. William Wairua is number two. Yeah. I'm not getting emotional. That was just literally I'm just so proud

of what he's achieved. William Wairua was on Dancing with the Stars. Best known for just the social media presence I guess. I follow him on social media

and I've got to say it's always positive which is nice. It is nice. Yeah. He does seem like a very positive guy. Yeah, it's always motivational stuff. Well, you'd like that.

Why don't you take some kind of, I don't know. Well, he's got that market corner. There's no point in us all being endlessly positive. You can be just negative. Lazy, negative. And number one is our UFC fighter, Israel Adesanya. Right, yeah, because he's had a big year, hasn't he? Yeah, mixed martial artist.

I thought you were going to say the other Israel that we don't talk about anymore. I'm surprised he's not on the list. What would we say? He's Australian? Is he Australian or New Zealander? We don't want him. You're right. He speaks with an Australian accent

I just always assumed That because he was with His missus Maria Don't say his missus Middy His middy He is Australian

He's Australian He's Australian I don't know They can have him See ya I've got a national shame Oh don't You don't have to anymore can have him. See ya. I've got a national shame. Oh, you don't have to anymore.

He's not even our problem. That's great. Great, yeah. What a wonderful piece of news to finish the year on. So let me tell you this story as it happened, as it unfolded. I was on Facebook. Literally, this was like five minutes ago. Yeah, I was on Facebook and I saw a link that said,

old man's beard must go. And I was immediately like, that's the saying of my childhood. Old man's beard must go. So I clicked the link and it loaded up this video and I was met with... Old man's beard must go. And I don't mean this stuff, but this stuff. It's a nasty, horrible plant. And it's smothering and killing New Zealand's native bush.

And that... I remember that. He had his own bushy beard. He had a big bushy beard. His name was David... Oh, that's beard? David Bellamy. Yeah, and he was like, not this beard.

And then he went around and told you about old man's beard. I remember that vividly. The most effective ad, and maybe only, ad campaign against the noxious weed that you've ever known of. In New Zealand. I remember we went out on a school outing with like secateurs and snips

to try and find it and like... Yeah, you had to come up with a route. I don't know if we were already on a school outing, but I remember there being some Old Man's Bed and we were all just like, whoa, it's from the TV. And they were like cutting it inside. A trim won't do.

That's what it says later on. You've got to pull it out of the room. But you also cut it all the way up to get it off the, because it just strangles and it binds and it strangles. So I clicked on that and I was like, David, and the name took a little while to come to me, David Bellamy. Yeah. And I was like, David Bellamy, what happened to David Bellamy?

So I Googled David Bellamy and then I saw, I looked and I saw died on the 11th of December 2019. And I was like, I've killed him. By thinking about him. Yeah, right. Even though he was already dead. And then I see all the news stories. And then I go back to Facebook and I realise this person shared it. They didn't say he's passed away, but it said old man's beard must go.

And then a cry. A single tear emoji. So that's why you saw it. So that's why they shared it. They didn't say he's passed away, but it said, old man's bed must go. And then a cry. A single tear emoji. So that's why you saw it. That he died yesterday. It's pretty big news in Britain, apparently. Because he's British. Yeah, he was like... But why did they get him to front our campaign?

Just because he was over here. Because he had a passion in his voice. Yeah, it was. He had a bed and it was his area of expertise. And he might have just been promised a free holiday in New Zealand. But old man's beard, old man's beard must go. Was this weird iconic saying for such a long time? It was, yeah.

You'd just say it, eh? You'd just be like, old man's beard must go. If you saw an old man with a beard in the 90s, you'd say, old man's beard must go. Or if there was a teacher with a beard, you'd say, old man's beard must go. What was it? What was with a beard, you'd say, old man's beard must go. What was it? What was it go to?

Wayne, he's just passed away today. Passed away at the age of... How old was he? 86. Wow, okay. So it was... It's a good innings. 30 years of great innings.

It was 30 years ago that he did that. 30 years ago. Oh, that's why I remember. This is also a timely reminder that next year, people who were born in 1990 are turning 30. Wow.

Wow. I know, it's the end of the decade in like so many, so many days. 31 minus 12. 20 minus 1, 19. 19 days, yeah, 18, 19 days. That's right, eh? Whoa, it's the end of the decade in 19 days, yeah. 18, 19 days. That's right, eh? Well, it's the end of the decade in 19 days. Yeah.

We'll just edit that out later. Old man's, we're live. Oh, we're live. Okay. And then later on, no one's going to be bothered editing this for the podcast. This is probably just going in. James is shaking his head. He can't be bothered.

This is the second to last day. Absolutely. But old man's beard is not gone it's still it's still around it's still around oh okay and we need more like weird ad campaigns for noxious weeds do not get me started on woolly nightshade woolly nightshade must go i could do the ad you could woolly nightshade must go i mean if we would but then the old man's beard you literally just ripped it off the tree uh woolly nightshade is go I mean if we weren't If it wasn't our last But then Old Man's Bed You literally just ripped it off the tree Wooly Nightshade is like carcinogenic You need protective

Highly allergen inducing Yeah That's not right is it? I don't know ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan The podcast If you enjoyed this podcast Why not give ZM's Bree and Clint a listen too?

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