ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Megan Podcast - December 13 2018

Episode Date: December 12, 2018

A special edition of How Do You Know, Megan's Life Hack and what won't make your family Christmas Newsletter?See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hello and welcome to the Fletchvorn and Megan podcast brought to you by Spark. Get the new Nokia 7.1 from $499 on a Spark prepaid rollover value pack. And now, on with the podcast. Hello, good morning, welcome to the show, Fletchvorn and Megan. They want to put the winky eye and the come hither finger back in Santa. Why? This is, for those who don't know, the giant Santa that's on Auckland's Queen Street. Because when it did that, everyone was like, oh, that's creepy.

And then it doesn't do it, and everybody's like, oh, it doesn't do the creepy thing anymore. They gave him the makeover, but he just looks. They need to put him down. Did he That's where if that euthanasia bill passes he'll be first on the block

that giant Santa. He'll smoke a bit of medicinal cannabis until he's you know at peace and then we'll euthanise him. Did he have plastic surgery? Yeah.

He looks like a bad plastic surgery. An auntie that needs to rein it in. He went to Sri Lanka and saved some money, got the old cosmetic holiday, but you can always see those.

His finger broke, eh? Because they had a plaster for a bit and then they just sealed it up. Yeah. But I don't think some of the residents liked it because if your apartment was in that building, it would be like, all night it would be like... Oh God, I didn't think about the noise.

And even the winky eye was like... And then you hear people yelling out, Oh God, that's creepy. There's a list a mile long of things that need doing before we even worry about that. Yeah. Let it go. Definitely.

In fact, let it go. You've just reminded me, Frozen, now that would be a good addition to it. Oh, like a giant Elsa. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. Giant Olaf.

I mean, get Disney to chuck in a few bucks. They might want to help out. Can't believe there's still the, I mean, you guys aren't, I mean, you might shop for some kids. Yeah.

Megan, why don't you get your niece's Fletcher voucher for Athletes' Foot or something? Yes. Yeah, for Mighty 10. As in, knock yourself out, young kids. Yeah. But not literally. It's a dangerous place, a hardware store. Well, I can't believe Frozen came out like six years ago,

and there's still brand new merchandise being pumped out for it. Oh, they'll be just printing money. That's insane. Ridiculous. It's insane. All right, you lot,

listen up. It's story time. Story time. Three news headlines are for stories that have found unusual, quirky, odd, oft hilarious news stories.

Vaughn and Megan pick one of the following three. Headline one, runaway plane. Headline two, Uber Eats customer gets more than his order. And headline three, intercom drop. Was story one and story two related? Like, did some guy order Uber and he went to the door to get it, but a runaway plane crashed into his house? No.

Okay. No. What is a runaway plane crashed into his house? No. Okay. No. What is a runaway? What's an intercom drop? I don't know. I don't know. Intercom drop. Runaway plane.

Did someone forget to put on a handbrake in the plane? The planes have handbrake. Keep going. Yeah, they got wheel locks, eh? I think so. I don't know, actually. And then it can just idle, but it's not spinning enough to pull it along. Do you know, when I was taking my dad's ute back,

because you know how I borrowed my dad's ute for the move, so I was meeting my mum in Huntly, and I pulled into the public toilets in Huntly because I was busted to go to a toilet, as I am every 15 minutes. And I pulled in and was in such a hurry, I jumped out and pressed the lock button and started walking around the back of the ute and it started lurching forward towards the Waikato River. Oh my god.

And I was filled with panic. Is that a manual? Yeah. Oh, right. So I'd left it in neutral and I hadn't put the handbrake on. Oh no. Oh my god. Yeah. I've done that in an automatic. Remember? It rolled into a house. Yeah, it rolled down the hill. Well, thankfully there was like a log at the front of the car park

and the ute went up and rolled back down off the log. I was like, imagine having to room my mum and be like, hey, ma'am. Ma'am.

Hey, ma'am. The ute's in the river. You know, that's your ute. Yeah, mama bought that ute. I'm a rubber man. She'd be like, fuck!

Never told them. Hope they don't listen now. It's a last minute idea. Yeah. Okay, well, what story do you want then? Intercom drops. Yeah, I want that one. Very interesting sounding.

You want that one? I want that one. I want that one. All right, we go now to America. And Grand Prairie. What did you and Grand Prairie. What did you say? Prairie. Prairie?

But why is it? I've never actually said the word prairie written down. Yeah, P-R-A-I-R-I-E. Yeah, Grand Prairie. Prairie. It's a weird word. Yeah, okay. Pra and then airy.

Too early in the morning for these fancy words. Your fancy English words. Y'all think you're so fancy. A 17-year-old Jackson, he was working at Walmart. And he's been working at Walmart for some time. And do you know what? He had enough. Had a bloody enough of this place.

We've all felt like that, haven't we, at times? Oh, 100%. Well, he decided Oh, I'm not here. Gosh, I'm having so much fun. He decided at Walmart that he'd had enough and he was going to quit. Okay. So rather than tell his management, he picked up the phone receiver and told the store.

Oh, wow. We can listen to his. Oh, okay. We can listen to his resignation. Oh, nice. Because he filmed it and uploaded it. Associates and management, I would like to say to all of you today that nobody should work here, ever. Our managers will make promises and never keep them. And not only that, they will preach to us about how they care about their employees. But about a month ago, my boss, assistant manager Cora, called me a waste of time and management did nothing to help management will also try and save money every step of the way including cutting benefits of a part-time or a full-time associate down to fuck down to part-time

even though he worked 40 plus hours a week I've been a loyal employee here for over a year and a half and I'm sick of all the bullshit focus write-ups and my job fully prepared something yeah he did anything that he got a bit nervous I in the video you can see him before he sees the f-words he's like I'm gonna do it I'm gonna do it yeah good on, yeah, put the phone down. And walked out. Intercom drop. Yeah, like a mic drop, but intercom drop. Yeah, outskies.

And then was out. And the video's gone viral. It's circulated, obviously, online. And people saying, what a legend. Wow. Because, I mean, everyone knows Walmart's a bit. Oh, yeah. I mean, it's cheap, isn't it?

But it's not known for its... Yeah. Well, that's the thing. When you're getting things for really, really cheap, along the way, someone's probably being screwed over for it. Yeah. I mean, that's probably not what you want's the thing when you're getting things for really, really cheap along the way someone's probably being screwed over for it. Yeah. I mean, that's probably not what you want to hear today

when you're going searching for Christmas bargains because you're out of money. But yeah, if it's cheap, it's cheap for a reason. FVM, the podcast. FVM. There is a text conversation

that's gone viral after someone was giving away a couch. They were like, don't need this anymore. Don't want to go to the hassle of like, I don't know how much it's worth or whatever. It's in good condition, but I'm just going to give it away. Pick it up and then it's out of my life.

It's free. It's yours. Nah. What do you mean, nah? Don't do it. Do you know, I've had to get rid of some old furniture this way and you bring up like op shops and stuff and they'll actually, a lot of them will have a truck and they'll come around and get it for free and take it away.

Right. And it's just better than taking it to the dump because then someone gets to, they get to sell it on and someone gets to use it or maybe a family in need. Yeah. And then they take it out of your house. It's honestly the best life hack ever. Well, I guess that's kind of what they wanted here. It was like nice enough that they knew someone else would use it.

Yeah. But then there's trade me people, isn't there? Yeah. And I guess this is kind of what happened here. I've got the whole text conversation. And it starts pretty normal. The person was like let in thinking it's going to go great. This is going to be an easy trade.

So, hi, I want the sofa. Great, can you come and pick it up tomorrow? Anytime after midday is cool. Can you drop it off? And also, can you come and pick it up tomorrow? Anytime after midday is cool. Can you drop it off? And also, can you get it cleaned beforehand? Sounding a little ungrateful at this point for the free sofa. Not really, sorry. The ad does say pick up only and also you want me to get it cleaned.

I've already given it a wipe myself. Cry laugh face. Give it a wipe. With a wet wipe. Or the kitchen chucks. Oh, yuck. You'd chuck your chucks after you'd

wipe your couch because you'd pick up a whole lot of fluff, hey? Yeah. I'll get a delivery truck to pick it up and it has to be

professionally cleaned. I don't want my kids to be sitting on some dirty secondhand sofa. What the actual hell? Buy a new Sav sofa

and then lingy stuff. Yeah. The seller says, okay, that's fine. Let me know when they're coming, et cetera. You'll have to get it cleaned yourself. I'm not paying for someone to clean a sofa I'm giving away for free.

It won't even cost that much. Wait a minute. Is that the person who wants it for free saying it won't even cost that much? Yeah. They've got to be trolling, surely. No. The seller says, good. It won't set you back too much then.

It's a free sofa. And if you look at the photos, it's in great condition. Buyer says, yeah, but there's loads of things on there that I can't detect, like bugs and diseases, but it's fine, I'll get it cleaned myself. The delivery, next message. The delivery guys will be there at 2pm tomorrow. It'll cost $100, so you'll have to pay them when they get there. Seller, you've got to be joking. Buyer.

No, do you expect them to deliver it for free? See, I want, no, this is definitely someone messing with them now. It's got to be. In capitals. So you pay for it then. It's a free sofa, FFS. All you have to do is

pick it up and it's yours for free. If you have to get it delivered to your house, then that's your problem to deal with. Do you want it or not? Exactly. This is the buyer. Exactly. A free sofa.

If I have to pay for delivery, then it's not free, is it? You can't advertise a free sofa if it's not free. Hello? I can see you've read my message. Look, one of my kids is really sick and I can't even afford to get them Christmas presents this year. Can you just pay for the sofa to be delivered, please? Where is your Christmas spirit?

Next message, please. Good. Wow. Lord. You know what? As much as that could be trolling, it could also be someone who's so deluded. I don't think it was trolling.

I think they were just like, it's free. They're going to get it to me for free. Any means possible. Crazy. Wow. The Top Six with Vaughan Smith. Hello. Today's Top Six and the penultimate Top Six for the year.

Second to last. Second to last. Is that the Air New Zealand strike that was due to be on the three busiest days of travel, December 21st, December 22nd, December 23rd, has been called off. Last night it was revealed that negotiations were successful between Air New Zealand and the union

that represents the engineers and some ground staff. So this is going to really put out a few people because people were actually booking separate flights or changing flights to go earlier. Oh, right. Or a little bit later. Yeah. That's right.

And because a lot of travel insurance was saying, well, we're not covering that. Oh, right. Good to know that they don't cover that. I really liked, there was some rich woman on there being like, well, this really disrupts my holiday plans. I was like, go and stand outside the mission and see people who are

really struggling at Christmas. Yeah, exactly. Who aren't being slightly put out by having to change and being able to afford initially to go overseas and then also to change them to be able to just buy more flights.

Let alone worry about the people who are striking because they feel aggrieved. And also, like, hot play from the engineers. Oh, yeah. Best somebody to strike. Hot play. They've been holding four aces for a few rounds of this poker match, haven't they?

They had, like, pick up 40. Yeah. Who knows? And New Zealand's Zealand, last card. And Air New Zealand's just like, I don't want to play anymore. I'm not playing. Well, if you don't get back here

and pick up 40, we're striking. So the top six negotiation points that cancelled the strike for Air New Zealand staff. Number six, they don't have to watch the safety video ever again.

What a powerful. The latest one's the worst ever made. I think. You're going out there. I'm going out there. I'm going out there. Because I heard someone saying, oh, it's better than the Antarctica one.

I was like, I quite like, like nothing wrong with a bit of Antarctica as the Americans say. I just got annoyed with Adrian Watts' face saying Antarctica all the time. Because he got to go to bloody Antarctica. And we don't say to bloody Antarctica. Yeah. And we don't say

it's Antarctica. Yeah. Say it right. And the last couple of seasons of Entourage were no good and I blame him. Yeah.

Great show. Went right off the rails. Number five on the list of the top six negotiation points that cancelled the strike for Air New Zealand staff. They're allowed to take

selfies in the cockpit whenever they want wearing the captain's hat. Oh! That would have done it for me. Great prof pick. Great prof pick. Going to get lots of likes on the gram.

But then, like, once, sure, but your friends are going to get sick of you putting up the same thing every month. Yeah. You'd put that on your Tinder profile, eh? Then you could say you're a captain, a pilot. And then you'd just be like, I am the captain now. Hot. It's good, yeah.

Good play. You brought us out all the time. If I was co-pilot of a plane and they were like, are you going to take charge and go to the toilet? I'd be like, look at me. I am the captain now. Every time. That'd love me up there.

Number four on the list of the top six negotiation points that got the Air New Zealand staff strike cancelled. They get to take home every tenth piece of luggage. So it's just like one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten. Take that one. Oh, it's a Louis Vuitton. Yeah, and they're like, oh, that pink one's coming. Damn it, it's only seventh.

All right, I'll take that. Tenth, take that one home. So that's just, if your luggage goes missing, that's just the game, baby. Yeah. That's show business. Number three on the list of the top six negotiation points that got the Air New Zealand Star Strike cancelled. They are now getting first dibs on flight meals pre-flight.

Oh, okay. You know how it's always like, if your first option's not available, we do apologise. Well, your first option might not be available because the ground staff all felt like chicken. That's all I'm saying. Get ready for some fosh. Number two on the top six today

negotiation points that cancelled the Air New Zealand staff strike. They're allowed to take the planes home for the weekend. Oh, good one. Yeah, I know. That's a perk.

That's a work perk. Being able to take home the vehicles for the weekend. The big ones or the little ones? Just any that aren't being used. Okay. Right. Okay. Good to know. But they've got to bring them

back with as much gas in the tank as left with. So they can't go crazy and leave it empty and then they're filling it up and it's $8,000 or whatever. Number one on today's top six negotiation points that cancelled the strike for Air New Zealand staff. They're allowed to go for fun rides on the luggage convey about and no one's allowed to tell them off.

They can literally jump and go through the flappy thing. The siren's going and they're like, meee. And they're just like, no, no. And they're like, sir, hop off. They're like, no, we negotiated this. And then they go through the flappy thing and it's like this. Smacks their face. They're like, ha, ha, ha, ha.

Ouch. A little bit ouchouch but it was fun and they just ride it round half the time yeah great way and they can also use that to make

a sushi train if they want they should actually you know what Rainbow's Inn should install a luggage conveyor belt and you're allowed to ride on it

because you want to ride on it but you're not allowed to stay behind the yellow line aren't there any roller coasters in the world themed on a luggage conveyor belt? Like you get in and it's really flat, like where you get on just looks like a standing conveyor belt, and you get

into a carriage that looks like a piece of luggage, and then you go through the flappy thing and then your shit breaks loose. That would be a rad roller coaster. I'm going to go look into that, and if not, bagsies, okay? Like I don't have the facilities or the capital to build a roller coaster, but if you do, and you want in on this idea, get in touch.

Isn't there like a roller coaster or a theme park simulator game? Like Sim City? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. What was that called? Coaster Tycoon? Something like that. There you go.

Yeah, that'll get you going. But the bad part about that was you could literally just end it into a wall and all these people would come careening down and just... Why would you do that? Well, you're a monster. Headboard is the game, don't you? Yeah. That is today's tarp sex.

FEM. A little internet company's really trying to get some publicity at the end of the year, letting us know what their year looked like. This is an internet company that does searches. I like Bing. Okay, like us Jeeves. Yeah, yeah, Dogpile.

Like Yahoo. Yeah. Okay, who are they? Jujul? I don't know if it's a soft G or a hard G. It might be Google or Jujul. Right. Are they trying to make some money? Aren't we all?

So they do a little search engine where you can search things. Okay, I think the joke's gone for you. And it will show you the internet. Yeah, right. Sweet little search engine. Sweet little guys trying to make it out there in the big bad world of the internet. And they've released everything that people are searching in different categories. Now, this is is worldwide isn't it

yeah because I can't wait to see the New Zealand year in searches yeah that's always good and then they break it down to region and that's when we're all like

I'm not from New Plymouth yeah porn and bombs bombs and gay porn nah man nah I'm not me I don't know what you're doing

I'm from the king country really that looks like nah nah it'm from the king country. Really? That looks like... No, no, it's definitely the king country. So these are the top 10 people that have been searched. Number 10 was Cardi B. Okay. Obviously a massive year for Cardi B.

Because you'd say huge, yeah, huge year for her. Big year for her. Number nine, Stormy Daniels, who was also Pornhub's most searched thing because of the revelations that a porn star was paid off by Donald Trump after doing stuff. And his lawyer, by the way, has just been sentenced to prison today. Three years. Three years

in order to pay a million dollars. And he was the lawyer that was fixing those deals with Stormy Daniels. I mean, it feels like it's a matter of time. The lawyer can go to jail, but Donald's still the president. Yeah. Great.

Eight, Hayley Baldwin. She got married to Justin Bieber this year, didn't she? Yeah, and I guess a lot of people were like, what does she look like? Who is she? And then they searched and they were like, I'm not disappointed. He's done well. Number seven, Brent Kavanagh. Brent Kavanagh.

He was a Supreme Court, well well he is a Supreme Court judge now but famously went through the trial where he was made to face up to things he did in the 1980s and they were just yeah

you go through you're still alright hey brave woman who stood up and has subsequently had her life ruined thanks come yeah

yeah that was sad was it number six is Jair Bolsonaro I had to google ironically probably boosting him up a spot come to Brazil come Yeah, that was sad, wasn't it? Number six is Jair Bolsonaro. I had to Google, ironically. Probably boosting him up a spot.

Come to Brazil. Come to Brazil. Come to Brazil. He's the new presidente. I saw a piece on him on last week tonight, the John Oliver show. Oh, my God. He's worse than Trump. Oh, yeah. This guy is a piece of work.

Like, wow. He's something, all right. He makes Donald Trump look like, you. This guy is a piece of work. Like, wow. He's something, all right. He makes Donald Trump look like, you know, he's not bad. He said, so for the last couple of decades, there's been an agreement, you know, the Amazon rainforest is largely Brazil's area, dominion. And the tribes within that are uncontacted and untouched by civilization, there's been an agreement to just leave them be. Well, he's like, who cares?

If they need to get out of the way, there's valuable minerals in there. And if we need to destroy their homes and flood their homes, so be it. That's just life. Get out of our way. And everyone's like, who? Okay. But obviously not everybody because he was elected. Let's not forget these people have been elected.

Yeah. Actually, or did Russia get his fingers in there? Yeah. Maybe a Russian situation. Number five on the list of the most Googled people for 2018 worldwide, Khloe Kardashian. Massive year. Had a baby.

Had the, what's her partner's name? Tristan. Tristan Thompson cheating and stuff yeah number four Logan Paul the douchebag from YouTube

went to the suicide forest filmed a dead body subsequently got what he deserved number three Sylvester Stallone huh I can't work that out

maybe a death rumour and he did direct and star in Creed 2 I don't even know if that's out in New Zealand yet. That looks awesome, by the way.

Michael B. Jordan. What a hot bod, Michael B. Jordan. Oh, I know. A moment of appreciation. Number two, Demi Lovato because of overdosing

and subsequent stay in rehab. Yeah. Everyone very concerned. And number one, again, the second year in a row, Meghan Markle.

Well, I guess the wedding. Yeah, the wedding and everything since where everyone's like, she's going to tear that royal family apart from the inside. All of that situation. So, yeah, those are who we're Googling. Is it 11 sleeps till Christmas? Yeah. 12, 11 sleeps and something hours.

It is, yeah. It's 11 days, 17 hours till Christmas. And for the kids listening, two sleeps till Christmas? Yeah. 12, 11 sleeps and something hours. It is, yeah. So 11 days, 17 hours till Christmas. And for the kids listening, two sleeps till Christmas. So I'd be, I'm just trying to wind them up. Oh, because I was like, what are you doing? I just know my kids aren't listening, so I'm just throwing a time bomb to all of my parents. You don't need to worry about that

because I'm about to wind them up real good. Oh, you wind them up? There's a Christmas release, a new Christmas song out. Are we looking for, is it Christmas number one? Is it a possible Christmas song? It could be. Oh, damn. going to move? These are Christmas release. New Christmas song. Are we looking for Christmas number one? Is it a possible Christmas number? It could be. Oh, dang. It could actually be.

And I know Fletcher's just going to love this so much. I just want to play you a snippet of this Christmas release. Okay. Starting good. Oh, God. Santa shark. Ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho. Santa shark.

Ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho. We don't need this. No one needs this. Parents don't need this. No one needs this. Parents don't need this. You think parents don't need it, but then if it can buy them like 20 minutes pastry during the holidays, they'll trade away their souls for it.

You're missing reindeer shark. Any guesses on next? Do-do-do-do-do. Elf. Elf sharks. Yes! Elf sharks. God, I love this.

Do you know what? I reckon this could go number one. If they put this on Spotify and put it for download, I would almost guarantee this is a Christmas number one. Yeah. Is it not on Spotify? I don't know. I didn't even know it existed until you said it.

Imagine how Post Malone will feel if he doesn't get to number one because Santa Shark's number one. Oh, my God. Imagine a Post Malone remix. If anyone's going to take it well, it'll be Post Malone. I get it. I get it. I get it.

I get it. So, kids, this is out now. What's this one? Wrap them up. Wrapping. Wrap it up. Making toys. Wrap them up.

Load the sleigh. It gets faster at the end Does Mrs. Claus get a No Oh It gets faster Because then they have to deliver all the toys And they realise they're running out of time It's Christmas

Can I stop this now? No, wait I want to see what happens next Swim away They're going away with the what happens next. Swim away. They're going away with the sled. Swim away. Swim away?

Yeah, with the sled. Because the sharks, reindeer shark, are swimming away. Well, how are they going to pull another... Aerodynamically, it's all out of whack. A reindeer could not mate with a shark. Swim faster.

Oh, so they're delivering underwater presents. Yeah. And how do you pull a shark sled underwater? Reindeer shark. Well, you should go see Aquaman. With the reindeer shark. Okay. How do you pull a shark sled underwater? Reindeer shark. Or you should go see Aquaman. With the reindeer shark. Okay.

Merry Christmas, everybody. I'm actually, I was like, who's next? What's happening next? And even now, it's like, this has got me.

But I'll be like, at the end, I'll be like, okay, I've heard it. But I've experienced that feeling. A kid must listen every single time they listen to it.

They must feel. What's going to happen next? What's going to happen next? Play it again. Play it again. I want to see if it's the same next time. There's that classic this time of the year test that's been done on sunblock to see if it's doing all that it claims is the SPF, the sun protection factor.

Because when you get an SPF, is it 50 or 70 the highest? Can you get 100? Is it 70? Yeah, I sometimes use 70 on my face. It goes 50, 70, PVA glue. Yeah. Or just zinc. Because when you're getting up to your 50s or 100s,

it's like PVA glue, isn't it? Bit of zinc. Yeah. But a few of them failed to measure up to the standards of what they said they could do. So there is no, this is what blows my mind about this story. There's no need for them to regularly test. No.

That is mind-blowing. And they are charging us the earth for sunscreen. Yeah. There's no regulations. That's like a safety thing. There's 100% a need for them to test. So, and you pay a fortune for them as well. Yeah, sunscreen is $2.94.

Sunscreen is so expensive. You want to know you're paying top dollar for it to do a top job. Well, it's not. The worst one that has been reported on is the Koola Classic Body Sunscreen Pluminera. Why do you, Megan says,, no, like you have some? Because Cooler's like a more natural one that I've used a lot. And it's not cheap, but you're like, because you know how sometimes sunscreens,

like, well, they mostly have a lot of chemicals in them. So I was like, I'm going to go for a more natural one. Some of them give me rashes. So I've used Cooler before. But then my problem, I'm going to go for a more natural one. Some of them give me rashes. So I've used cooler before. But then my problem is, I looked at the ingredients. As you say, it's like natural. I didn't say it like that, but yep.

None of them seem to actually be a sunscreen protector. Surely they had a sunscreen. There's argan oil. Don't you put that in your hair? Yeah, yeah, super moisturising. Okay.

Safflower olesoms, which again, lasting moisture. Oh. A shea butter, which is rich in fatty acids that moisturise. Right. But where was the actual sunscreen? I don't know. That's in there. Yeah, I don't know.

Oh, are you kidding me? Anyway, it claimed to be SPF 30, but when put to the test, FPS 6. Jeez. That's like something your mum would use to tan. Yeah, mum would have some FPS 4 from Hawaii when she goes against Copitone. Oh, my God. Or LaTan. Yeah.

It's just fun. I don't get a tan if I wear a 15. So they've pulled that one off the shelves. Yeah, they talked to the CEO who said they'll be reviewing the formula. Right. But this is the, and they provided a 2013 report. So they did a batch in 2013

and got a third party to independently review 2013's batch. And we're like, oh, we haven't changed anything. But obviously they have. What? But dangerously, this is a US company.

So this has gone like around the world. This isn't just the New Zealand sunscreen. Oh no. Yeah. Yeah. But we're probably finding it more here and in Australia because our sun's harder. Exactly. We're the testing grounds for a sunscreen. It's any good. Neutrogena Ultra Sheer Face and Body

Dry Touch. I mean, that's a lot to put on a bottle. I think I've used that too. I think I use one of these because they have one for your face. They have a spray one, don't they? You can spray it on your face. So, not the end of the world, but they claimed SPF 50, but they were only SPF 42. Right. Bondi Sands, Coconut Beach.

Okay. SPF, is that one you use, Caitlin? And you got sunburned, hey? But you, how long do you put it on? You had it on for a while before you went for a swim, though. Yeah, I know. I'd put it on, like, first thing in the morning. But that's the thing.

Sunscreens aren't water resistant. And you don't want to wear sunscreen. If you have a swim, you've got to put it on like first thing in the morning. But that's the thing. Some sunscreens aren't water resistant. And you don't want to worry sunscreens. And then if you have a swim, you've got to put it on again after. But I wonder if I got burnt while I was in the pool. Yeah, because you were in the pool for ages. Yeah. And it's like kind of where the water level was. Yeah.

So you washed off your sunscreen and got sunburned is what happened. Sunsense sensitive invisible. What was the Bondi Sands rating again? It claimed to be SPF 50+, but it was only SPF 38. So again, like it's still SPF, it's up in the 30s. Sunsense Sensitive Invisible claimed a SPF factor of 50+, but only had 16. So what we're learning is we can't always trust the SPF,

so maybe just like hit the 70. And Banana Boat. And you might be floating in the 50s. Yeah. Banana Boat, who have had nothing but bad publicity. Yeah. They had one, the Banana Boat Sun Comfort SPF 50+, that was not SPF 50+.

What was it? That's the only one that doesn't break down exactly how badly it failed. But there were some good ones. This failed. But there were some good ones. There were some good ones. Three of the ten they tested met them and exceeded them on the broad spectrum protection. Nivea Sun Kids Protect Insensitive Sun Lotion. Oh, that's good to know.

It claimed to be 50 plus and it was 50 plus. Yeah, that's the great thing about sunscreen. It works on humans. What makes it a kid's one? I don't know because whenever we're out of the kid's stuff and I just sunscreen it works on on humans what makes it a kids one I don't know because whenever we're out of the kids stuff and I just slap

adult stuff on the girls Sade's like get the kids stuff I think it's just more sensitive for their skin so you've got sensitive skin

I want my kids to have leathery old like tuck skin also there was a UV guard max sunscreen that claimed to be

and was SPF 50 plus and ESSONE ESSONE ESSONE Natural Sunscreen Summer Coconut and Hjelba

SPF 30 and it was SPF 30. Right. Well, that's nice. So that's nice because that's what you're after. It's got a couple of Consumer.

You've got to sign up for that website though. They do all the I just read the free stuff that the hero group printed. Close enough. I ain't signed up for that website though. They do all the... I just read the free stuff that the hero group printed. Close enough. I ain't signed up for that shit. Someone upstairs is paying for it.

I'll just like mooch off the company, you know? Yeah. My God. Megan's Life Hacks. Hello. It's back. And welcome to another edition. It's been a minute between Life Hacks,

but I've come back with a vengeance. I just remember, do you remember some of these haven't worked in the past and it's been quite hilarious? No stress. They all worked, just with varying degrees of success. Over time though, you've given us some great life hacks.

Thank you. This one. I'll admit that. I liked the one with the, was it the wet wipe seal on? Was it a chip packet? On the chip packet. Yeah. Yeah, but you have to like eat half a packet of chips. Yeah. Unlikely.

Unlikely. Unlikely. Now, I'm gathering this life hack has something to do with fast food because the studio smells like burgers and fries. You'll notice that I have, and it's not specific to McDonald's, but in my hand I have... No one else does the box. Do they not? No one else does a box, right?

McDonald's is the only one that burgers. The box is the burger. No, BK does wrappers. They just do a wrapper. What about Wendy's? Do Wendy's do a wrapper? Yeah, who cares? Wendy's, I've given Wendy's too many chances.

I'll be like, oh, maybe they're up to their game. Right. No. I'll make no apologies for my Auntie Wendy stance as well. Carl's Jr.? I don't know. I don't know. So this requires...

They might do a box. Because they've got big fluffy burgers. Did KFC do a box for their bigger burgers? I don't... I feel like we go to Intedania on this one. She does that. Thank you. No, they don't.

From at Henny's Noms on Instagram. Stop it, yeah. No one does boxes apart from McDonald's, right? Okay, so this is a McDonald's box. I feel like Carl's Jr. I believe do one for their like big old beefus burgers. Okay, so this life hack is for if there's a box. For your burger. Okay.

So you know how like, okay, we'll just say McDonald's. You go to McDonald's and you get like a cheesy B. And yeah, it's got your burger in it. You flip it open and you put the chippies on the other side. Always. It's a plate. It's a plate.

So if we're going anywhere and we get one for the girls, you flip it open and you put the chips in there. So it's like a plate. Yeah, it's great. Wonderful, wonderful. So I've already done this

with my cheeseburger in hand. Chips on one side, burger on the other, right? It's great, yeah. But you're driving and you're like, oh goodness, this is hard work

because the plate's floppy in the middle. What am I to do? Plus, I've got a drink. I want some of that drink, but I'm holding my cheeseburger and fries. Okay. What am I to do? Conundrum. So in the middle of the box, in the fold, there's a gap.

I'm putting my finger in it. There's a gap where the box folds. That's when you make a little, like, open the gap a little bit. Right, with your finger. You can put the straw of your drink up into that gap. Like so. Oh my goodness me. And now you hold

the drink with one hand and the cheeseburger and fries sits on top of the drink. I've got everything I need in one hand. You can drive with the other hand. Burgi, sip of the drink. I've got everything I need in one hand. You can drive with the other hand. Yes. Sip of the drink.

It's a bit wobbly. No, but look, it catches it. It's going to fall. No, it catches it because of the hole. The hole doesn't go all the way through. Now, Megan, I always ask for no straws now because of that horrendous video of the turtle with the dolphin up his nose. I said turtles, stop snorting dolphins.

Do you know what we should do? The turtles with the straws up their nose. If they're going to still have straws, you don't always have to accept a straw. Put a reusable straw in your car. That's what, we got sent some straws yesterday and I said to Shado, we should put the set in the car. What, like reusable straws? Yeah, yeah. Metal.

Actually, that would be better because you're at risk of, like if there's a lot of pressure on the plastic straw, it could always bend. And that's the time when you need a reusable straw in the car, isn't it? Yes.

So it'd be perfect for this. But she said, oh, won't they get dirty and stuff? I said, we drink Coke Zero, the chemicals of whatever's making that. I'm sugar-free. We'll kill anything in that straw. And she's like,

is it killing us? I was like, what did you ask? I've got brain lesions. Slowly. Slowly but surely it's getting us all. But at least I won't be a fat corpse. Can you take that off and pass me the drink, Megan?

I just want to just try this life hack just to make it, because I don't always have chips. Oh, yeah. Okay. Why don't you always have chips? Sometimes I don't have chips. But you'll get a drink without a chips. I would never get a drink without a chips.

I would never get a drink as a standalone. No, I'll get two burgers. I'll get two burgers, no chips sometimes. Because he thinks the burgers are more balanced meal than the chips. I like that. So what you do is you stab it through the burger like this and you just drive along like this. But then how do you eat your burger?

Yeah, I don't know. Did the straw have a bit of bread in it from when you pierced the bun? It did, yes. It did. I was going to say when I saw it happen. When I'm driving, I don't have to use two hands. I can only use one hand because I've got the burger and the straw has penetrated the cheeseburger.

When you've got the full burger there and you're nibbling around the outside, great. But when you get closer to the centre, how's that going to be? Yeah, no. See, you're tipping the drink. You're going to tip the drink on yourself. I've got the middle. Sexy too. Is that nice?

That was bored a few hours ago. No, it's not. It's cold and disgusting and yuck. But I can't spit it out because that would be disgusting. SM. This popped up on Facebook 11 hours ago. Okay. A Tauranga institution known as the Bahama Hut

had an announcement to make. Now, if you've ever holidayed at Mount Maunganui at Tauranga, you would probably be familiar with the establishment. It's been around a while. It's been around 18 years apparently.

Right. 18 years. My brother, I've got fond memories of my brother being kicked out of there on his 21st for accessing the kitchen.

Why was he at... He was drunk and he was like, I'm just going to nick in here and get something to eat. I was like, I'm pretty sure that's not how it works.

But out we got tossed. Most people would have some form of memory or a blurry semi-memory of the Bahama Hut. But 11 hours ago, they said, we have some bad news. The Bahama Hut is now closed. Okay. Now, forgive me for my

cynicism, but you'll remember months ago we mourned Bar 101 in Hamilton. Oh, we were all very upset. And then two weeks later they were like, we're back. Across the road and down 100 metres. Now, we mourned you. This is like Jesus all over again. We were like, oh,

he's dead. Terrible loss. Sad. Three days later he's like, I'm back, bitches. Woo! And we're like, what happened? You've got way more fabulous. It was attention seeking. Like the time I cancelled my Facebook. So this is, forgive our cynicism, but it says we could sit here and explain why, how, and who.

But at the end of the day, it doesn't really matter. We'd like to thank you for all your business over the past 18 years. It's been a fun ride. We've had a blast doing it. We started on Wolf Street, and then they get into the history of themselves. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. It goes on to say, it might be closed, but we'll see what the future holds.

See, that's what makes me a little cynical. It's time for someone else to have a go at it and see how it goes for them. Maybe we'll give it a few years and have another go with a new concept. Again, we can't thank you all enough. Every weekend was the highlight of our week. Many people.

Give it a few years. Many, many comments and shares too. Like people have really, like that's, you know, that's at a hundred, that's at a thousand comments. Yeah. Probably mostly the comments I've seen so far are remember that time you blah, blah, blah. And that thing happened.

Yeah, yeah. Do you remember that guy or do you remember that girl? And someone's like, what have you done with the palm tree? Because that was like the central. Yeah. That would be a pretty sweet backyard piece. If you were looking for a sort of a Tauranga nostalgia. Family Christmas newsletters.

My family's never been one. I always remember mum would get a couple from people she'd never talked to. I don't know, distant relatives or friends. But this was the day's pre-social network. Yeah, I know. And so when you didn't see extended family ever, so they'd keep you in the loop. And I guess for those that don't know,

it's just a big, long four or five page letter of what's been going on in this particular family for the year. Like anyone really cares. And to an eye, did your family receive one? Have you received? Yeah, we used to have some family friends that were boog into the family newsletter. What did they go? Multiple page?

Oh, yeah. Yeah. Photos? Photos, updates. Clip arts. Yeah, a lot of clip arts. A Christmasy border on the cover. Look at the little Christmas trees.

Yeah, no one cares about your family. Who's got that much time to do that? No, it was good because it sat in the pot for a wee while and everyone had a wee read. Oh, yeah, you'd have a good laugh. Yeah, it was nice. Especially when there was that crossover period of them thinking that you didn't know what they were doing because of, like, gossip.

Yeah. And what they put in there, they always left out vital pieces. It hasn't been up long, but the Christmas poll that we put on our Instagram story, has your family ever done a Christmas newsletter? 16% said yep. 84% no. That's fine,

we can slander them then because 84% of the audience will be willing to because if you didn't do one you always slandered the people that did. Interestingly enough, you can open up

Microsoft Word and there's like templates in there for a family holiday newsletter and Christmas newsletters and stuff. Yeah, and you just put your photos in where the stock families. Right. It's quite narcissistic, though, to think that anyone cares that much about your fam.

I know at Christmas, hey, you'd make an effort to see them if you cared about them. Yeah. Yeah. Just give them a breakdown. But I guess you're right. Nowadays, you just follow people on it on Facebook. Yeah, and you don't need it. You don't need it.

Yeah. You don't need it. You don't need it. Yeah. And you're always, this is what I want to talk about today with relation to the family Christmas newsletters. They always left out the bad stuff. Oh, yeah, they never put in the idea. It's the same as Facebook. Yeah, it's the highlights reel. No one's putting up, you know, depression

or the fact that Darren got done DIC. Yeah. And in June, Steve ticked up enough demerit points to finally lose his licence. Yeah, that sort of stuff never makes the cut, surprisingly. Yeah. I would like to know, and this could be a bit of a roll of the dice, what won't be making your family's newsletter for 2018, if you were to write one?

I guess, what's your family's secret shame for 2018? Oh, 2018. Oh, you're right. It might be a roll of the dice. We're always done. You can go extended family. The people that would normally send one, what won't be, because you might want to not dob in your own family.

Like, Dad's methamphetamine production business was going bloody fine until there was a knock. That might not make. You don't need to ring up and tell us that your dad's been meth. I just don't think people are going to ring up with their family's shame for the year. Extended family, though. If it's not you, you can ram on them. I'm selling out the cousins.

Yeah. You don't have a lot of cousins, but there's a lot of people who fall out with extended family, and they'll be happy to just dive a knife right into their back. All right. Merry Christmas. All right. Well, give us a call. 0800-DARLS.

You can text 9696. Won't be making your family's Christmas newsletter All right. Well, give us a call. 0800-DARLS.M. You can text 9696. What won't be making your family's Christmas newsletter this year? This has got quite juicy and scandalous. We want to know what won't be making the family Christmas newsletter. The scandalous bits your family will like to hide from 2018. So there are like scandalous bits, but there's some just real cute ones. Probably won't make the family Christmas newsletter that this year my brother at school, primary school, put someone's shoes and lunchbox in the toilet and took a shit on top of it.

What? What is wrong with that? Is that like an early indicator of a psychopath? No, that's just revenge. Someone wronged him. Right. Oh my God. Wow.

Wow. probably won't make the newsletter this year that grandma's dementia really stepped it up a notch and she, I'm not going to read the end of that but let's just say she did something at the rest time that garnered some attention

what did she do? took her clothes off oh no what? she did not Took her clothes off Oh no What? She did not Are you paraphrasing their teeth? In front of everybody In front of everybody

Yeah Go what? Let her do it. Nan, go to your room if you want to play with yourself. No way. Let her do whatever she wants. God, that's my worst. Can't tell me the old boys in the home were upset about it.

That's my absolute worst nightmare. You get so old, you don't realise you're playing with yourself in a public library or something. Oh, I like you're not doing that now. Our Christmas newsletter probably won't include the fact that my brother... Megan needs a moment. Nan has needs too, Megan. And they're obviously not being met. Our Christmas newsletter won't include the fact that my brother got my dad's partner's daughter pregnant.

Wow. So like stepsister situation. Yeah, okay, leave that out. Yeah, oopsie daisy. Probably won't make the family newsletter my sister's ongoing love life situation, a few relationships and interesting public displays, shall we say. I don't know if that's sort of like

granted the rest time levels of public display or what. Anonymous caller, what won't be making the family newsletter? The fact that one of my Tinder boys reoccurring one might add, robbed my parents' house. What? He came over when your parents weren't there and robbed the place? Yep.

But you know it was him? Yep. Wait, were you there when he robbed it? I just got into town to get us both lunch. Oh, he came back and he's cleaned it out. Took my dad's pride and joy for you. He took the youth? Well, he left the youth.

That's how he got everything out. Did you call the police? Oh, yeah, straight away. Oh, and did you catch him? Yeah, he crashed the youth the same day. Oh, but you just... Oh, okay.

And so, what did you say to the parents? Don't know him. Not a lot. Don't know him. Never seen him before. Yeah. Don't know that guy.

Don't go... No, because technically you wouldn't be lying if you said, I don't know that guy's last name. Because I don't have last names on Tinder. Anonymous, what's your call? Billy, what's not making the family newsletter this year? Well, my family was a little bit grumpy at me anyway, so I thought, why not make it a bit worse?

Okay. And give them something to be grumpy over. And so my cousin was over from England and she was turning 18 and on her 18th birthday I took her for her first tattoo. Oh, okay. My other cousin was annoyed at me already so I decided to get a matching tattoo with her as well just to piss her off a bit more. But obviously the family not happy

so that won't be back in the newsletter. Not quite happy. My grandparents send out a monthly email but I haven't been in that for a fair few months. They do a monthly email

not just a Christmas newsletter. No, monthly like it's like a monthly e-newsletter basically. Yeah. E-news. Gran's e-news.

You should email Gran a picture of the tattoo just in case she does want to include it. Well, I sort of uploaded a fair few photos. They can't seem to work their computer, but they're quite happy to send out these emails to me very well. Yeah. Could start somewhere. Billy, thanks for your call. Some other text messages in.

Won't be making the Christmas newsletter That my dad has pretty much joined The cult of Jordan Peterson That's like an online Oh yeah He rants and stuff He's got a lot of strong political That is basically because mum will edit out Any mention that dad tries to put in the draft

Okay Good old mum eh She's just trying to keep it No politics at Christmas This one made the Christmas newsletter But I've been sleeping with my stepbrother There's another one Wow Well it's not blood though is it No it's not at Christmas. This one made the Christmas newsletter, but I've been sleeping with my stepbrother. There's another one.

Wow. Well, it's not blood though, is it? No, it's not. It's pretty much just home and away. What do you mean? Well, it's just... I was going to say it's just home and home, isn't it? You're staying at Irene's house and she gets a... Yeah.

You know? Yeah. Yeah. Some other messages in. Are you screening? Yeah. Probably won't make the newsletter that my girlfriend had an affair with a gay magician. I mean, that is a cracker yarn.

Let's not discount that. I mean, she was the one that did the magic trick and made them like girls again. That's a truly magic trick. And poof. I'm straight. I, sure. He needs to do a magic show on the rest home. No, he doesn't.

Grant will have him. Okay. I think that's. I think we've topped up. I don't think we've beaten that. We should have ended on the rest home. I can't get over it. I know.'s... I think we've topped up. I don't think we've beaten that. We should have ended on the rest of them. I can't get over it. I know.

Oh, my God. But I don't want people to think we're making fun of people with dementia. If she's having a good time, who cares? Yeah, exactly. If she's being looked after and she's in a safe place and having the time of her life. And tomorrow she gets to do it all over again. How do you know if it's really Santa? How do you know if it's really him?

So someone just messaged in, have you ever had a guy on for How Do You Know? Suck it, texter. Yes, we do. Chris Kringle himself, Saint Nicholas, a patron saint of greed. Hello. It's me, and I love it when people sing my name like that.

Ho, ho, ho, ho, ho. That's how most people really enjoy Santa. It's so great to have you back, Santa, for a Christmas edition of How Do You Know? So right now, if you're listening, I don't think we need to ask Santa, like, details like age and where he's from. Yeah. We know where he's from. Everybody knows Santa.

If you know Santa, give us a call right now, 0800 DARS at M. And we're going to see how you know him. How you know Santa. But I just want to ask Santa if he's been a good boy this year. Have I been a good boy? Yeah. Of course I've been a good boy.

I hope Mrs. Claus gets me something good. Oh, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho. On a whole, how's the world been this year, Santa? Like, the naughty and the nice list. What's the ratio? Overall, it's been pretty good. I mean, there's been some ups and downs, but, I mean, heading into Christmas,

everyone's on their best behaviour this year and they're all putting in their Christmas requests, which is great, because I do need a bit of help. A few ideas never go amiss. Right, what about Donald Trump? Is he on your naughty or your nice list? What do you think, Fletch? Well, Santa's got a beard and an army of small people. I'm pretty sure that's all it takes to be on Donald Trump's bad side. Yeah.

Okay, well, let's play How Do You Know Now? How do you know Santa? Catherine, good morning. Hi. How do you know Santa? If a kid knows Santa, so I suppose, yep. Okay, whereabouts are you from, Catherine? Just from Wellington.

Santa, does that ring a bell? Catherine from Wellington, yes. I think I do ring a bell. Now from Wellington, yes, I think I do ring a bell. Now, something's coming back to me about horses. Did I get you a horse once, or would you like one this year perhaps? Uh, yes, yep, when I was a kid, I think. Yeah!

Wonderful! And I tell you what, have you got a chimney at that house that you live in? Uh, yep, yep. Good, great, because I love going down the chimney. It doesn't do anything for my allergies, though, so I'm very much looking forward to visiting you, Catherine. Well, I think that's a winner, isn't it?

That's a winner. That's how you know that it's really Santa. That's how you know that it's really him. All right, we've got somebody else here for you, Santa. Mackenzie, how do you know Santa? I see him at the base. Oh! You see him at the base?

Santa? Yes, absolutely, Mackenzie. I love going to the base in Hamilton. Oh! I love Santa. What about the parking, though, Santa? I find, especially this time of year, the base, the parking. Really? Oh, absolute disaster. What about the parking though, Santa? I find, especially this time of year, the base is parking.

Absolute disaster. Fortunately, I can glide the sleigh in on the roof and no problems for me. Right. Santa, do you know what Mackenzie asked for for Christmas this year? Mackenzie, why don't you whisper it to me now and I'll have a chat to the elves and see if we can rustle something up. What are you after, Mackenzie? A puppy. A puppy.

A puppy. Well, I think we can rustle something up. What are you after, Mackenzie? A puppy. A puppy. Well, I think we can try our hardest. Yes! We can try our hardest. That's all we can ask, Santa, is that you try our hardest. Well, there we go. That's how you know that it's really Santa. That's how you know that it's really him.

Oh, my God. That was the cutest. Absolutely the cutest. Roman, good morning. Roman. Roman. Don't be shy, Roman. Rohan, Roman, Rowan.

Hello. Roman. Hi. Hi, Roman. Hi. How do you know Santa, Roman? How do you know Santa? Does he come to your house? Yeah.

He's kind of shy. I think Roman's a little bit shy. Yeah, that can get a bit hard, confronting your hero. Do you know what you want for Christmas, Roman? I think I know what Roman wants. Oh, okay. Santa already... What does he want, Santa?

I think Roman would like an electric toy car. Would you, Roman? Yeah. Yeah. See, Roman? He knows. He knows. I know everything.

That's how you know that it's really Santa. That's how you know that it's really him. Oh, brilliant. Roma's like, oh, my God. Do you find a lot of people, Santa, they get nervous around you? Oh, absolutely. I mean, especially going to the malls and the kids come up for their photos and they're so shy and, oh, they're screaming.

Oh, I'm not that scary. Come on, guys. How do you deal with the crying children? Is there like a technique to squeeze them a bit harder? You've just got to talk very nice and gently. Give them a sweet and then I just go home and let it all out after.

With a whiskey. Start drinking. You know me too well. Santa, we've got Judith on the line. Judith, good morning. Good morning. How do you know Santa? I have known him all my life and that's probably coming up 54 years. Oh, Judith.

Goodness. Santa, is that ringing any bells? Yeah, yeah. Judith, you don't have a brother, do you? Geoffrey, is it? Yes, he's my oldest brother. That's right. You're from Timaru, aren't you?

Yes, I am. Yes, I know Judith from Timaru. Judith, you don't sound stipe. Did Santa do you wrong one year? One of your 54 years, have you been done wrong by Santa? Did he not bring what you wanted? No, I've had everything I've always wanted. Oh, well, perfect, Judith.

It's amazing. Well, happy days. That's how you know that it's really Santa. That's how you know that it's really him. Emma, good morning. How do you know Santa? He bought me a Polly Pocket house one year. Oh, Santa.

That is a top dog present. I'd never forget that, Emma. Emma from Christchurch, the old Polly Pocket. Such a popular present. Do you know Polly Pockets are back? They're back for Christmas this year. I know all about them. I have spent the last 12 months building and buying all the things for Polly Pocket.

Emma, do you want another Polly Pocket this year? Yes, please. I'd love one. Okay, there we go. Consider it done. Is she too old, Santa? No, no, never too old for Polly Pocket. Has she been good?

I know some very naughty Emmas from Christchurch. No, I've been very good this year. Good, good, good. Well, I guess that's another one. Yeah. So we can sing the song. That's how you know that it's really Santa. That's how you know that it's really him.

Jessica, good morning. How do you know Santa? I've had a picture with him. Oh, wow. Whereabouts did that picture get taken? Oh, should we test Santa? Whereabouts? Do you remember Jessica, Santa?

Whereabouts did that picture get taken? I think I do remember Jessica. This is Jessica from Wellington, isn't it? Yes. Yes, yes. You're eight years old. And I tell you what, Christmas this year, I'm running out of room in the sleigh, but I reckon I could just fit in a pony.

Would you like a pony, Jessica? Yes. Oh, I will do that. Santa's writing checks, baby. Santa is writing checks. He remembers you, Jessica. Sorry? He remembers you.

You must have been very, very good this year, Jessica. She's just imagining all the adventures. Can you go ham on that pony? That it's really Santa. That's how you know that it's really him. That's how you know that it's really him. Well, I think it's time for one last call, Santa, because we know you're very busy getting ready. I mean, we're only less than two weeks away now.

I know, yeah, we are. It's just absolute chaos up here at the moment. Run off my feet 24 hours a day. But, hey, we love it, don't we? Sure do. We've got our last caller, Mrs Claus. Good morning. Hello, Fletcher, Bon and Megan.

Oh, honey, I never thought you'd... Darling, what are you doing ringing radio stations? It's New Year's Day Christmas. Oh, dear, you've caught me, you've caught me. But I've always got the radio on in the workshop. Love listening to Fact of the Day. Yay! Well, I guess that's another one, isn't it?

I guess so. God, I feel like she's going to tell them off. You know that it's really Santa. That's how you know that it's really him. Oh, brilliant. Santa, thank you so much. You're more than welcome. I've had a wonderful time on the show.

I love listening to you guys. And I hope all of New Zealand, I hope you have a wonderful Christmas. Look after each other. Be nice. Take care of yourselves. And I can't wait to drop in with some prezzies. Well, that's not Fortnite, Santa. Drop in with the prezzies. Fletch, not Fortnite Santa. Jump in with the prezzies.

Fletch. Vaughn. And Megan. The Podcast. So, this is not going to be easy, but last night on my Instagram

and social media, I announced that my cat, Karen, that I've talked about a lot and I've spammed a lot of people with on Instagram over the years, passed away.

So, yeah, there's been a lot of tears, as you know. Yeah. And, yeah, it's been a crazy couple of days. Yeah, it sure has been. When I got told, yeah, my heart sunk for you, man. Me too. And all the time I've known you, we've hugged twice now. We did hug and it was weird.

I know. We did hug. Was it because I was wearing a singlet? Was I greasy? You were a little greasy from the sunscreen. Yeah, you were. We've hugged twice, yeah. Once when you were going to Columbia for three months

and I thought you were going to die in a drug-related incident. Not that you were doing drugs, just that you'd get wound up in there. Thank you for clarifying. And then this, and man, yeah. Yeah. So, well, I got told a while ago, so he had a heart condition. And so I was told, because I had to take him for a scan ages ago, and that he wouldn't live long, but not past 10.

So it could have happened any time between now and then. So he was two years, eight months. And, yeah, just absolutely gutted. It's hard. But, yeah, thank you. I've had so many messages, like comments. I honestly just couldn't reply to them while I'd be here for the next couple of days. It's crazy.

I guess because I shared so much of his life on social media, a lot of people were actually really upset. Well, I think a lot of people, even if you'd never hung out with Kaz, felt like they knew him and he brought a lot of joy to people's hearts just watching his little bits. Oh, that video of him making a mess of your house

while we always talked about how you weren't disciplining him, it made me happy to see so much mess in somebody else's house. Yeah. But yeah, it's so quiet at see so much mess in somebody else's house. Yeah. But yeah, it's so quiet at my house now. Yeah. It's really quiet and so it's been like,

you know, I've had a little bit of time to obviously mourn and process it but there's little things that still get me. Like I cleaned up everything and I found this little tennis ball.

There's a little mini tennis balls. Oh, that just got me going again. So sad. Sometimes you don't realise how much they mean to you until they're not there anymore. Yeah, real. They're the bastards animals, eh?

Yeah. They get into your life and they like wriggle their way into your heart and then when they leave, you're never ready for it. And yeah, as you said, totally unexpected. So yeah, we're feeling for you, man. It's not pleasant. And yeah, as you said, totally unexpected. So yeah, we're feeling for you, man. It was, I guess, Kaz was like seeing what Fletch would be like if he liked other humans. So that was why I guess Kaz was such a valuable insight

into who you were and how you function because of how special this little cat was to you. And I hope one day you find a human that can fill your heart nearly as much as that awesome little cat did. Well, you always say you can't trust anyone ever, but I think Kaz was, yeah, you're one person to trust, one kitty to trust. So I had to ring you guys, obviously, when this happened

because I didn't know what to do. I was just like, help? Yeah. And, yeah, we had a little ceremony out of my place it was actually right no man it was actually it was actually really hard probably just seeing you upset was the was the hardest part of it but yeah don't because you'll make me cry yeah it's pretty tough okay he's got a sweet little spot under a tree and you're welcome to come at any time.

Yeah. Sorry, Flint. Damn it! Come on, guys! No, thank you for that. It meant a lot. That was really cool. Okay. Moving on. We should get Santa back.

Happier times. We went up and we went down. Yeah. Cheers to Kaz. Yeah, to Kaz. I've actually got some canned wine here. Would anybody like a can? Why do you have canned wine? Somebody sent me canned wine.

Now, it's warm, but you can have rosé because I think that's what you need, a rosé. Yeah, nothing says class like that. Like a warm canned wine. Let's just knock it off the table. Do you? Oh yeah, let's take a sip and then throw it on the ground. We're second to last. Somebody else is, what did you want? Rosé or cuvee?

What is cuvee? I think I'm going to have a warm rosé if I've got to drink something. So hold on. Cheers. Cheers to a little cat that brought much joy into everybody's lives. Yeah. Cheers. All right, we'll come back next with fact of the day.

Oh, Christ, that definitely needs to be in the fridge. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Yay. Today's fact of the day is about chicken wings. Because we did some bottomless wings yesterday, didn't we? Yeah, it's a commiseration of such a celebration. Our wakes have always got to have good food. That's the rule.

So we found a place that did bottomless wings because we want it to be morning but also greasy. And good, good, good wings. Took a while to come out. Yeah, that would be my only

angry. We were on a tight time turnaround and it said it starts at one. Let's hit it. Let's keep it coming until we say no. It was like in that scene

in Wolf of Wall Street where Matthew McConaughey says, what does he say? Like two martinis straight up and keep them coming. Yeah, and then every five minutes keep them coming until we pass out. That was like my approach to the wings. I was like, three bowls of wings and keep them coming

and don't bring fries. That's filling food. That's how they get you. You fill up on the fries. Well, today's fact of the day is that 50 years ago, chicken wings were just thrown away. They were considered waste, just like junk parts of chicken. It was all about the breast, the thigh, and the drumsticks,

and chicken wings were discarded. Oh, they're so yum, though. Why would you do that? Think about all the wings they must have wasted. Exactly. So a guy called Frank Bellissimo, he had a bar in New York, New York State. Yeah.

And he was trying to run it as cheap as possible. He'd get chicken necks and chicken wings and he'd use it for spaghetti sauce. Oh, yeah. Okay. So his wife, Teresa, was like, it seems there's too much meat on these wings. I'm going to try to make an appetizer. Okay. And the result was buffalo wings that we all love and enjoy today.

She did it and people were like, hey, these are pretty good. Yeah. Can we actually just get a main of these? And she's like, okay. And so none of the chicken neck kept going into the sauce. Yeah. But the chicken wings were made into a dish of their own and then someone said to her

have you tried pulling them in half so you have like a drumstick and then the other bit with two bones in it that I've never given a name the other bit

the other bit the other part of the wing and she's like oh yeah we could give that a go someone's like have you tried britting them and deep frying them

and effectively the people who liked them gave her all of these recipes that became mainstays and the chicken that we love today. Wow. How long ago was this? 50 years ago. Wow. Because I feel like it's a big American thing.

I feel like New Zealand's only really in the last five years starting to embrace the wings culture. Yeah. Because you go to America, there's a whole chain called, I think it's called Wingstop. And all that. And you get a menu and it's like 50 flavours of wings. Oh.

It's out of control. That's the good stuff. So Hooters apparently is responsible for wings really hitting the mainstream and actually causing a wings shortage. There's actually now not enough chickens. We're not using enough other parts of the chickens to keep up

with our high demand for the wings. So it's gone too. And there's heaps of things like this. Like heaps of meats that were always considered like the chuck away bits or the bits that you minced up and turned into sausages.

Like brisket's a great example. Yeah, right. Did you ever have brisket growing up? No. You would have had it as like a rolled pot roast that your mum probably crock-potted for like eight days.

Right. But now it's like the most sought after cut for low and slow barbecuing. Okay. It's all of those bits of meat that were often thrown away have made the full rounds and are like what people are after now. So today's fact of the day is next time you're tucking

into some delicious chicken wings, think that 50 years ago they were considered junk and often just thrown away. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Roasting. Time. Who's on the fire? Who's going in the oven? Who's being basted?

Well, she's been well basted. Anya. Hi, intern Anya. You know where this is going. You must have wondered why we were brushing oil over you for the last 10 minutes because you're about to be roasted. Just sprinkling some S&P, bit of mixed herb. Some rosemary on you.

Yeah, rosemary across you. Garlic bulbs and potatoes around you. All right, let's start. We'll put the pumpkin in later. All right, I've been preheating the oven to 220. Or pop her in. Yesterday. Is there anything better than a friend roasting?

It means we love you. Yeah. It's yesterday we went for wings, a wake of sorts, after Kaz's little ceremony. And intern Anya was like nearly there. I drove like a maniac. I just did some – I think I broke ten rules on the way there. Apologies.

I was driving my wife's car though, so that's registered to her name. Good luck. And Anya was like right on the little location finder in Messenger where you can see where your pals are. She was right by me. I was like, oh, we're all going to arrive at the same time. And then I look again and she's almost a kilometre and a half up the road moving two suburbs over.

And where are you going? And she's like, no, I've panicked, I've panicked, I've taken the wrong road. So anyway, she was late. Yeah. That's fine. And I was like, oh, well, that happens. Parking can be stressful.

It's what happened afterwards that we want to talk about. She said to producer James, I'll give you a ride back to your car, which would have been how much on a lime scooter would have taken you five minutes to get back to your car? Well, I lime scooted down.

It took me, well, $3, whatever that is. Right, $3. It's about a K and a half. Yeah, it didn't take long at all. Good fun. Five minutes. Non-stop.

Exactly. Point A to point B. Hit some business people in there. Yeah. Take the outskirts. Yeah. So, Anya said, jump in, James. I'll get you back to your car.

Misses the turn off for James' car, which is parked at Sky City. Yeah. And ends up going over the Harbour Bridge to Northcote. Look, it was a bit of a ticky tour. In peak hour traffic. So what would have been a three-minute line scooter ride became how long did it take you to get him to his car? Was it nearly an hour?

It was a long way down the track. I would have been ropeable. We were in the midst of the traffic, like heading out to the shore. We were riding. I didn't know it was heading out to the shore. We were right in it. I didn't know it was an hour. Aren't you? And how much petrol did you use?

Nearly a quarter of a tank. What's the one with the T3 on it that you were talking about? On Ewer Road. Geez, that takes a long time. Terrible road. God, if it was T2, we would have had a hell of a breeze through. True, actually. I would have made you risk the fine for inconveniencing me.

I would have said, get in that bus lane. I don't care if there are cameras. I mean, I just felt like James needed to revisit the beautiful North Shore. We got to pop round the bays to see the... Why did you get up to the bays for? No, I mean, we just got to see them. Oh, you got to see them? Both on the...

So how many turn offs did you miss to end up in the bays? I don't understand how you got from like Sky City, essentially like around the Sky Tower, to the Harbour Bridge with like, there's a lot of turns. No, okay, so here's the thing. So we turned out, we were at Auckland Waterfront. Do we go left? Do we go right? James is like, I believe

there's roadworks on the left. I was like, here we go, boy. Let's go right. And we did. And then we jumped on the motorway and then sort of thought No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no's go right. And we did. And then we jumped on the motorway and then sort of thought they were like... No, no, no, no, no, no. You don't walk on the waterfront. One right turn, here we are on the motorway.

You know what, the wind was in our hair. Bang is on. It was all go. We were talking about it at the wings. You were saying, Fletcher, if you get a taxi, you say, don't go through the city. It's going to be too terrible. Take the outskirts.

So we took that approach, but probably should have just gone a couple of streets over instead of going all the way around on the motorways and ending up on the shore. When did chat start running dry? Because like an hour's a long time to spend with somebody who's been spending a lot of time. We've been through a lot of subjects, that's for sure.

Probably when we started going over the bridge, we probably had to think of a couple more, really. What was your hit topic? Like, what took up the most time in the car? And did any four really fight? I mean, New Year's plans, past New Year's plans, Christmas plans, past. Life goals and aspirations, you know? Definitely them all.

Wow. So it was a job interview. Where do you see yourself in five years? Yeah, it was. Where do you see yourself in five years? Well, hopefully out of this car and back in my own bloody car. So, I did not know this, but I saw a poster

for McDonald's saying McDonald's will be open on Christmas Day. This was a particular, because not all of them do. No. Because have some in the past? Yeah, I think so.

I've never known McDonald's to be open on Christmas, and they may very well, this may be a long, this is news to me though. Right. I know KFC

aren't afraid to be open on Christmas. Yeah, not all, this may be a long, this is news to me though. Right. I know KFC aren't afraid to be open on Christmas. Yeah, not all of them but some have. Yeah. God, I think maybe one day I worked years and years ago,

worked a Christmas day and had a quarter pack for Christmas lunch. Oh. That's my saddest thing ever. It sucks. But I just imagine the potato and gravy

was like roast. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Or like Christmas. Because Christmas is the one day of the year Grace is still sitting in our house and it's just to appease Nan. Hi, Nan.

But it would be weird saying Grace over KFC or McDonald's. Why? Dear Lord, thank you for this three-piece quarter pack. It's still food. Potato and gravy smells pretty sweet. The extra chicken seasoning on the chips is a blessing, Lord. I'd be even more thankful for the KFC. Next year, can we try Macca's?

Just for something different. Sure, amen. But I guess I didn't even think about that. A lot of people would be working like I did, and I wasn't with my family. I was working on a Christmas day way back. You've got to eat, don't you? You do got to eat.

You do got to eat. You can't put on a roast. You do got to eat. You're not going to put on can't put on a roast. You do got to eat. You're not going to put on a roast for yourself, so I guess you do get takeaways. I would, just for the record. If I was by myself, I'd cook myself a whole Christmas dinner. Like, I'd have two meats, too.

Turkey, ham. You know what? Lamb as well. I'd go out there. I'd go a three-meat Christmas lunch. I'd just do a BP wild bean, like, Thai chilli pie. Do they do a Christmas pie? Not like a Christmas mince pie, but actual like a...

Like a turkey and cranberry pie? Couple of chocolate bars for $3.50 or whatever it is now for two. It's Christmas, treat yourself to a Ferrero Rocher. We need to do like mini takeaway trifles. Ayo. Why are we doing all this work for Beat Wild Bean? We've just pretty much planned out their next month of marketing for nothing. We did this for free.

We should set an agency, charge millions of dollars for this nonsense. Okay, it'll be just like Mad Men. Yes. Off the record, Don Draper. On the record, don't tell my wife I'm the Don Draper. Yeah. Doesn't go down well now. I'll be the nerdy guy that never gets any, you know,

any action or anything. But I'm like, we know I'm Don Draper.