ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Megan Podcast - December 14 2018

Episode Date: December 13, 2018

It's the last show for the year! Prime Minister - Jacinda Adern is in studio and Flashback Friday.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hello and welcome to the Fletch, Vaughan and Megan podcast brought to you by Spark. Get the new Nokia 7.1 from $499 on a Spark prepaid rollover value pack. And now, on with the podcast. Thank you very much, Anya Charlotte Henvest. Lovely from you today. Just learnt that Anya shares a name with the new first baby of New Zealand. Move over, Neve Te Aruha Ardern Gayford. And welcome to the forefront, Charlotte.

Rose. Forgot your middle name. Rose. Rose. Charlotte Rose. Charlotte Rose. Richie McCaw and Gemma welcoming. Yeah. Their baby. The baby yesterday yeah okay yeah when when asked for comment they said how do you feel is that yeah right

you proud yes so baby baby of two halves yeah but oh that doesn't work does it well no babies are made up of two halves top half bottom half're true. Okay. You can't have one without the other. Good call. Uh, yeah. So, uh, yeah. Should well. Yeah. Why is there a giant, um, tray of cherries in here? Being handed this. I don't know. You've got the piece of paper. Uh, I, we've got a giant

tray of cherries in here because of the Grab One Cherry deal that's happening in the new year. Um, it did come in as a fine example of a 2kg box of cherries for $ year. It did come in as a fine example of a 2kg box of cherries for $39. It'll be delivered

to your door. Except now there's probably 1kg left and Fletch is about to poo in his pants because he's eaten a kg of stone fruit before 6am.

Is my tongue and mouth real red? Yeah, it is. Yeah, your tongue is. There's a high chance I'll shit myself during the show today. I can't stop myself

eating cherries. They are so delicious. Oh yeah, they're on... Well, that's a high chance I'll shit myself during the show today. I can't stop myself eating cherries. They are so delicious. Oh yeah, they're on, well, that's why you've gone through a KG before 6am. I mean, it's the ultimate. We don't need to give you the sales pitch. All I need you to hear is that Fletch ate way too many cherries because he can't say no to them.

So these are from the Central Otago. Been to the cherry thing, eh? Oh yeah, the cherry festival. The cherry festival in Roxburgh. Oh yeah, good times. And that was good fun. But the only thing that upset me about that is there was like stomping of cherries.

I was like, no, no, no, I'll eat these. No, but they were all the cherries off the ground. These are a premium quality product, Megan.

They can't send second-rate cherries to market. I'd still eat the second-rate ones. Especially not from Mr. Henry Cherries, which is where

you can get these from. Grabone.co.nz. Seamless. Yeah, and they'll be delivered after Jan 4. Great. Excellent. I shouldn't be adding this many cherries.

I've got to sit on a plane for 18 hours. And nobody likes eating a plane toilet. You'll still be sitting on the plane for 18 hours, but it'll be the toilet that you spend most of your time. Big show today. Prime Minister. Sorry. I just had to swallow the cherry.

We should save some for the Prime Minister. Do the Secret Service have to, like, check the food? Yeah, they have to wand every cherry individually. Oh, yeah, that's true. Before she, you know, takes food from strangers. Yeah. The Prime Minister, Jacinda Ardern, just after 8 o'clock on the show. This morning?

What? Like, just chat about the year. Yes. I'm fingers crossed that we're going to get a Baby Neve exclusive but I'm also not hoping. I'm not holding my breath. Also,

Ryan O'Kane from Shortland Street is in just after seven this morning. The big cliffhanger is on Monday. He's here to talk cliffhangers because someone always does.

And we are doing our best to get the New Zealand Rugby Player of the Year on the phone. Kendra Cox who taught us to kick. Are we allowed to call her friend of the show because she helped us with the last conversion? Player of the Year on the phone, Kendra Coxedge, who taught us to kick. Are we allowed to call her friend of the show?

Because she helped us with the last conversion. Friend of the show. Well, no, it was actually her role in the last conversion that got her over the line to be New Zealand's rugby player of the year. Yeah, that's not. A bit of extra publicity out there for the Blackfords. Right, okay. Yeah, sure.

The first time a woman's ever won. Yes. Which is okay. Yeah, sure. The first time a woman's ever won. Yeah. Which is fantastic. So good. All right, you lot, listen up. It's story time. All right, three news headlines for story time as per usual. Vaughan and Megan pick one of the following three headlines.

Well, one of these headlines. It's a bit silly, isn't it? Headline one, racist student caught on camera says he's not racist. Headline two, making money hand over fist. And headline three, the old alligator ate my husband defence. Oh no.

That old chestnut. We have to do two because you're giggling at two. Yeah, you giggled beforehand and then you said one of them made me giggle and then you giggled as you read it out. And I don't want races in this close to Christmas. Good call, yeah. I don't want it ever, but especially now. What better time of the year?

Why? Because you're probably going to go and see your gran this Christmas anyway. I'm going to get enough of that. Well. Now I'm not racist, but. Hit us. Are you licking cherry juice off your... No, no, no, I was licking honey crystals. Oh, right, okay.

We go to Jaina now, and the Chinese government is offering big payouts to people who snitch. How big? offering big payouts to people who snitch. How big? The equivalent of up to United States $86,000. Now, this story's on a legit news site, so I don't know if this is legit, but it seems legit.

Okay. They are offering up to $86,000 for people who dob in porno watches. You pretty much just say anyone, right? What am I now? Huh? Who? Well, as of this month, the country's heavy-hitting anti-porn task force is... Oh, China sounds like a miserable place. It does, and you've got the...

They're doing that Black Mirror ratings thing at the moment. Yeah, they're doing that. Yeah. You've got social rating. You can't sort of like openly speak online about stuff. You'll get shut down and probably disappear. And one day they'll just be like, we need to put a factory here.

Sorry, your house is busted down. Can I have some money for my house? Absolutely not. So that's the equivalent of a year's salary. So a lot of people have been jumping on board. The authorities have been using the tactic successfully and their hope is to make the internet cleaner. Do you have to prove it?

Well, I don't know exactly how. Because I'd be like, Fletch, Vaughn, James, Caitlin, Anna, just everybody. And do you get $86,000 per person? Well, they say, yeah, any serious consequences for anyone found watching, sharing or creating erotic material. You have to be careful being the doctor. Rating. You can also get jail time.

Did it say rating erotic material? In that list of things you just said. Creating. Creating. Creating. So you couldn't. Four stars. Wait, creating. Creating. So you couldn't, like, four stars.

Wait, who does that? I know. Who does that? What, rate? Watches a naughty video and then rates it. I'll give that three.

Oh, no one's doing it. Shut the tab and move to the next one. No people do it. Yeah. And why do they always have a Facebook

share button below? Oh my God, I love this. Let me share that as a family. That was fantastic. That was one of my favourites. I wonder if mum

will enjoy that. Share. Like I don't even rate a YouTube video. No. No. Let alone, not that I ever

watch those kind of videos. No. Good Lord, no. But yeah, why would you? I don't know. Weird. Well, if you ever find yourself travelling to China, just be aware because it's prison time and fines.

You said creating erotic material. Does that include like... The written form. Tasteful notes on cell phones? Oh, maybe, yeah. Good Lord. Like, yeah, if you have got hold of your cell phone, Megan's got that secret folder that looks like a calculator.

Because there was always free to bet in China, but now it'll be free the nip. Free to bet and the nip. And the fanny and the bum and the doodle. I can imagine some hippies with their free nips bumper stickers next, because always my drama teacher had a free to bet car sticker. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Imagine her with a free the nips. Bumper stickers next. Because always my drama teacher had a free to bet car sticker.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Imagine her with a free to bet and the nip. You just keep the free to bet sticker and just put and the nip on the back. Yeah. And then Brad Pitt could do the movie Seven Years in the Nip. They could rename those dogs into Nippy Mastiffs. Are you out? Yeah.

New Zealand police, Auckland police specifically, made a raid yesterday at about 5am. Okay. There was a raid. Do you know, sometimes I see them

when I walk to work. It's the best time of the day to do a raid. Yeah, because everyone's sleeping. Everyone's asleep. And they just bust in when they're still nunnies. God, that would... Because if I wake up work. Well, it's the best time of the day to do a raid. Yeah, because everyone's sleeping. Everyone's asleep. And they just bust in when there's still nunnies.

God, that would... Because if I wake up with a shock, I immediately yell out the worst thing I've been doing lately. Macy, methamphetamine! Oh my God, what happened? What was that noise? That's how they get them.

Yeah, so 5am yesterday, a 29-year-old male was arrested on firearms and other charges. It was a commercial property, so like a warehouse-y sort of situation. Right. It was raided. But then the property owner has uploaded a video of the New Zealand police playing table tennis on the ping pong table after the raid.

Wait, ping pong or table tennis? Because you know that- Ping pong, you've got to bounce it on your side before it goes over, eh? But table tennis is more like tennis. You just go straight over. Is it? Oh, I don't know. I don't know.

I'm going to have to Google. I thought they were the same thing, just different names. No, there are slightly different rules to table tennis and ping pong. Ping pong has to bounce, doesn't it? Is that what you're saying? Ping pong has to bounce? Table tennis? Yeah, yeah, okay.

I've Googled. There is a slight difference between the two. Ping pong has to bounce Table tennis Yeah yeah Of Goo Glade Yeah There is a slight difference Between the two Ping pong is the most Commonly played game Instead of table tennis A thing people never realise

This is because Oh okay So it's Right played for fun On the other hand Table tennis follows Strict rules And is mainly played

In tournaments Oh right So if you do shits and gigs With your friends It's ping pong Oh it's ping pong Well let's just say they were playing ping pong then because it looks like they were just playing to fill some time.

They were probably just watching over it while forensics gathered evidence and stuff and they just... Yeah. Well, like, well, we've promised better work stories so at least if we go home today we can say we played some ping pong. Well, the guy's not happy about it.

He's like, this is what cops do. They play games. New Zealand police, better work stories. Got them covered. New Zealand, this is what we pay for. I'm like, this is what cops do. They play games. New Zealand police. Better work stories. Got them covered. New Zealand, this is what we pay for. I'm like, I don't care. They needed to be there to supervise and stand around.

I don't care. Maybe they need to go back and get the footage of this hard drive, of the security system. To see what else has been going on. Maybe that's the ish. And I'm sure the police could upload some things that that guy's done. Yeah, see, it's a guy that had firearms and all kinds of crap in his. Yeah.

Yeah, I was just like, big deal. It's good to see them. Having a chill. There's lots of paperwork required too. Someone's probably filling out the paperwork and they're like, ah. Yeah, if I knew I had a good hour and a half of paperwork lined up, I'd probably have a relaxing game of ping pong. Let some steam off.

Although I've never had a relaxing game of ping pong. It's a very stressful game. Very unpredictable, that tiny table tennis ball, the ping pong ball itself. And then you hit the ball into the forensic evidence and the guys in the suits are pissed off. Sorry. My wife's cousin's actually called Ping.

Pingy. He's Thai. We're going to go see him and we've been telling the girls about the family that they're going to meet for the first time and telling them all their names.

About Ping. And they said, is, Indy asked if Pingy was named after ping pong. I said yes because he's really, really good at ping pong.

And she's like, oh, wow. Can I ask him, can I ask him to show us? Yeah. And I said, yes, because he's really, really good at ping pong. And she's like, oh, wow. Can I ask him? Can I ask him to show us? Yeah. And I said, yeah, you should definitely ask him. You're sitting her up. I'm still showing my six-year-old to make a fool of herself

for the first time meeting the family. And I don't regret it at all. Fletchborn and Megan's Community Notices. Hello and welcome to Community Notices, a segment of the show where we have a look at what's happening around New Zealand according to local Facebook pages. Just rolls off the tongue. This is the final for the year.

Okay. No, I thought we might have some Christmas, sort of Christmas-themed community notices, but not really. Nothing of the like? Oh, there's a few penis-shaped soaps doing the rounds. Okay. But those have been on so many different pages with exactly the same photos. It looks like somebody just found photos of penis-shaped soaps.

Right. Put it on a page and someone's like, that's funny, I'm going to steal that and do it on my page. Right. It's one of those ones like the pet fly. Oh, right. The fly with the string tied around it. That's cruel. The ride on lawnmower.

Well, it's just a fly, Megan. Let's not get too. No, it doesn't need to be strung up. It's a free being. Kill it. Or the sheep with the plastic chair on the back. That's the ride on lawnmower. I mean, those are your classic fakies that do the round.

I've been in penis-shaped soaps, though. Lately. With some your classic fakies that do the round. Panty shaped soaps though. That's a good stocking stuffer. Hilarious sexual analogies? No. Innuendo. Innuendo. Yes, that's correct. This one from the Central Otago Buy, Sell and Trade. Ben writes to the boy at the Hyde Street

party on Friday. While I was minding my own business helping my friend vomit, I lent my lighter to a boy with short blonde hair who promised to give my lovely lighter back. And I still don't have it. So if you wake up on Saturday morning with a mean hangover and you clip a lighter with a cool eye on it,

I'd love it back. What's a clip a lighter? I don't know what a clip a lighter is. Those are Zippos. But then Zippo is a brand. So it might be I don't clip a lighter. Oh. Nah.

It's like a Bic except it's round. From what I can see. Oh. Just get a new one. It's like a Bic except it's round. It's just a smoking tax. Stop smoking. It's round. Well I've got friends, Johnny and Aubyn, their whole thing, they had this huge box full of lighters. They'd go to parties and be like, come borrow a lighter. And then they'd leave the party.

And they did it all the time. They had this huge collection of lighters. What was the point of that? I don't know. It never really served a purpose. Smoking tax. Yeah, smoking tax. I mean, we're trying to make New Zealand smoke free by 2025, Maggie.

Actually, that... And if you can't light them, you can't smoke them. Yeah. This is true. Like, yeah, health services should just go to parties and do that. And then no one there can smoke. Then you get some Dero in your toaster trying to get it going. Stop stealing people's lighters.

Trying to light their ciggy off your induction cooktop. You're like, it doesn't work without the right pans. You've got to have the right pans. You've got to have the right pans. It won't work. You've got to have the right pans. Next from the Sell Your Junk on Facebook page, Amanda is selling 33 long human dreadlocks.

Which are as rank looking as one would imagine. Okay. I'm finally selling my dreadlocks. There's 33 of them. Most are quite thick. Most are longer than 30 centimetres and some of them end in branches. I don't know what that means, but that sounds disgusting.

They're 100% human hair, very clean, and chopped near the scalp. They would weave in beautifully. Wait a minute. Are people buying dreadlock hair extensions? That's bizarre, isn't it? Oh, you nasty. Because then you have to match width and colour and texture.

Wait for it. Yeah. Please see the photos. Feel free to ask questions. $300 is what I'm after. Hear me for interests. Thank you, admins, for turning off the comments. Obviously, it got pretty.

Well, you could buy them for like a Pirates of the Caribbean theme party. Something like that, maybe. Okay, yuck. Okay, gross. Oh, that's a good credit. Duncan, really quick one, wants to know on the University of Canterbury

Students Association Notice Board, does anyone know how to pick locks? That's all he wants to know. I don't know if he's locked a lot. I'd love to learn how to do that. But it's never as easy as the movies. It's an artwork. It's really, yeah.

It's an artwork? It's an art form. Yeah. I like my brain's just like, I'm not going to be giving you the right combination of words today. It's your last day. You're on your own now, P. Smith. Do the best you can.

Next, Clint in Browns Bay is selling, not selling actually, giving away eight empty egg boxes. And there's a cat in the photo and he's like, cat not included, but eight empty egg boxes. I know you people with chickens love egg boxes, but people with chickens are either needing egg boxes

or they've been given every egg box that anyone at their workplace has ever used. So they are actually a no, they're not requiring any more egg boxes. And finally today, it only seems right to finish it off with a, ah, that seems stolen. From the Buy and Sell Hamilton White Gator page,

an engagement ring are $500. That's what they're after. That's your first hint there. It's an 18 carat white gold diamond engagement ring selling as it's too big now? Uh, no. I'm open to offers. Please keep in mind that the diamond certification papers are missing.

Okay. Of course they are. And don't really want to have to pay the money for it to get an appraisal. Right. Please no muck arounds. As a lot of people have fallen through, the numbers on it are 750. They obviously know a lot about this engagement ring they've been given. Yeah.

And the size is 60 millimetres. Right. So. Stolen. That sounds stolen. If over your summer break you see anything that makes you giggle on a local Facebook community page, screen cap it and send it to ours. We can be found at FVMZM on Facebook.

FVM. KFC are at it again for the festive season. I've got to take my hat off. No, I don't. Like figuratively. Yeah. Because if I take my hat off, I've got to take my headphones off. There's that whole rig.

I mean, I've probably done it in the time that I've now explained that I'm not actually going to take my hat off. But anyway, my hat's off. Yeah, my head did get cold because I'm right underneath take my headphones off. There's that whole rig. I mean, I've probably done it in the time that I've now explained that I'm not actually going to take my hat off. But anyway, my hat's off. Yeah, my head did get cold because I'm right under the air conditioning. So my hat's off, figuratively but not actually, to KFC. I've done it again because remember when they had the KFC candles? Yeah. That smelled like, you lit them and they smelled like the KFC chicken

and they sold out super quick. Last Christmas, they sent us Christmas tree decorations that looked exactly like bits of KFC, like a drumstick and a wing and everything. It was clever. Yep. I was like, that's clever thinking. There was also the KFC scented sunscreen.

You could put it on and it was called X Christmas sunscreen. I don't think we need that. We didn't really need it. You don't want to be at the beach in the sun smelling like a delicious wing. There was the time that that guy on Twitter worked out that the KFC account only followed the Spice Girls and six guys called Herb because of the herb and spice. So doing that sort of stuff, it's great. It's pretty clever.

It's pretty clever stuff. So this year they've come out with a KFC 11 Herbs and Spices Yuletide Fire Log. So in the Northern Hemisphere, it's winter. Yeah. And you just showed me some European footage of the snow just like heaving down. I'm like, okay, I'm okay with the humidity now that I've seen that. Yeah. But everyone gets their fire going for the Northern Hemisphere Christmas.

Yeah. You can buy this fire log. It's going on sale at kfcfirelogs.com. It's 18 US dollars. Okay. You chuck it on the fire and it smells like KFC. Yes. And your whole house smells like KFC.

Now, we all know that KFC is pretty, the smell of KFC is pretty much human burley. Yeah, but is that like, is that disappointing when you chuck that on and then mum brings out a Christmas roast and it's not as, it's not KFC. Yeah, because your mouth will be expecting. Yeah, but is that like, is that disappointing when you chuck that on and then mum brings out a Christmas roast and it's not as, it's not as... Yeah, because your mouth will be expecting. Yeah, yeah. Deep fried chicken, not, yeah.

We have the same problem with the candle. Like, it's all like, well and good, but then you smell it and you need it. Yeah, but no, that's why I'm saying it's super clever. Because you think, that'll be funny, that'll be cool, I'll get one of those. And then they always sell out super quick. Yeah. So they become get one of those. And then they always sell out super quick. Yeah. So they become a thing of folklore.

And then it was the same with the candles. And you light it and it's the smell that gets you in for the burly trail. It's very, very clever. If you can't afford the log where they sell out, could you just chuck a quarter pack on? You tuck the packaging on? Just a whole box of quarter pack. But then you want to eat it. Yeah, but then you still get the smell.

Right. If you burn the cardboard box that comes in with that sort of baking paper lining stuff and to catch all the grease afterwards, you probably get a good whiff off that one. Okay. But I always think it's a missed opportunity for people making candles as well.

I would just call it like fried chicken candles. I wouldn't specifically say KFC. So they couldn't sue you. Yeah. Work out a way to get it done and get it done.

So those go on sale Thursday American time. So yeah, sometime today. The Top Six with Vaughan Smith. Hello there. Firstly,

congratulations to Richie and Gemma McCaw. They had a baby, a baby girl. I mean, I might be biased, but I think baby girls are better than boys. You don't have any boys, so you wouldn't know. Well, I was one, Megan, and I was horrible. Don't judge all boys on yourself.

It's self-deprecating. But, yeah, you've done well. You've chosen. I don't know. They didn't choose it. But, you know, it's undeniable with those two I mean

they're an endorsement powerhouse that couple did she do one of those multi vitamins and she goes for a run and he can't catch her we'll get to that

okay that's what they do they do that she does some Instagram influencing okay Richie's pretty quiet on that front.

Does Richie have an Instagram? Yeah. Oh. No, because I just saw people sharing that. No, I think he went quiet on it. They tagged in Gemma and not Richie. I think he did have one and then he probably just got bored with it. And did he shut it down?

Oh, no, I can't actually see. No, none have got the blue tick. A couple of fake ones. Because I didn't see him tagged in any of the reposts. Oh, right, maybe he got rid of it. Maybe he's like, shit, that's annoying, all those notifications. There's heaps of fake ones, eh? Yeah.

And heaps of people are following them, like, come on, that's obviously not him. That's weird. Because he'd have a blue tick if he was on there. He did, he got a blue tick immediately. But yeah, maybe he's just like, shit, that's annoying, turned it off. Yeah. God, the willpower of that man his inbox is probably

quite thirsty he probably was just like I can't deal with it yeah everybody just throwing themselves at the ex all black captain

so today's top six is the top six multi-generational endorsement deals for new baby Charlotte McCaw okay number six

let's start with the easy ones yep the fish in the barrel adidas baby booties. Because he did Adidas, right? Yep. And so they'll get those little Adidas baby booties. When they put up the

pregnancy announcement, it was Adidas. Yeah. Well, she's already done it. She wasn't even born, which was a fetus. She knocked that one on the head. What have you done this week? Exactly. What have you... Nothing. Number five on the list of the top six multi-generational endorsement deals

for Charlotte McCaw. Richie did a Mercedes-Benz endorsement. Oh, okay. So you know this baby is getting one of those battery-powered baby CDs cars that people pay a gosh darn fortune for. They're pretty cute though.

And then they have a remote and the parents treat it like a remote-controlled car and then the dads get a bit carried away and try to drift it on a bit of wet concrete. And then the baby falls out and they parents like treat it like a remote control car and then the dads get a bit carried away and try to like drift it on a bit of wet concrete and then the baby falls out and they're like never tell mom and the baby's like hey hey hey shh shh don't tell mom shh don't tell mom and then it gets put in the shed and not used again yeah oh i thought you meant the kid

oh the kid gets put in there until it stops crying too. Number four on the list of the top six multi-generational endorsement deals for Charlotte McCaw, turmeric powder. That's what you were referring to before

the vitamin. It was heavy on the turmeric. Can a baby have turmeric? Who knows? Let's find out. Race you home.

Get home. Realise the baby can't run. You've got to go back out and find your baby. Make a great ad. Yeah.

We ran home and we both forgot the baby. Because people complained about that ad, didn't they? For some reason. Did they? Yeah, I'm pretty sure there was a complaint about it and it was silly. What was it? Was it something to do with belittling him or something? Yeah, it was something ridiculous like that. Yeah, I do with like belittling him or something? Yeah, it was something ridiculous like that.

Yeah, I think it was belittling his... Pretty sure he would have okayed it. Yeah, he was in it. And been satisfactorily remunerated. Oh, derogatory to men. Oh, yeah. Because women can't be faster than men. That's ridiculous.

Yeah. There was an old house. It was dismissed by the advertising standards authorities. No grounds to proceed with the complaint. The ad showed

Gemma Flynn outrunning her husband on a jog. Don't bog it true to men. With McCaw returning home to find Thrashtia

written on the steamy bathroom mirror before she tosses him a bottle of supplements. How dare she beat him. The person that wrote that complaint, when it was found to not hold up, they should have had their photo posted online. Yeah, oh, they should.

And be like, this guy doesn't think women could beat men as a race. And I can guarantee that guy would not be able to outrun the average woman. No. Or even a slow woman. I could have been an old black man. No way a woman should be outdoors playing sports and such. Number three on the list of the top six intergenerational endorsement deals for Charlotte McCaw are Fonterra endorsement.

Remember Richie flew his helicopter into schools? Bit dangerous if you ask me. To give kids milk? Yeah. Well, now he'll be doing a run to the shops for some Fonterra brand formula with Charlotte in the helicopter's baby seat. Nice. Probably land on the roof of the dairy, I'd imagine.

Dairies aren't. Maybe if it backs onto a park, that would probably be his dairy of choice. Number two on the list of the multi-generational endorsement deals that Charlotte McCaw can get into, a versatile kit set playhouse. Yeah, nice. Need a playhouse? Versatile. He had like a house, a garage, a hangar.

He had everything, didn't he? Yeah. All with the big V for versatile on there. And the number one intergenerational endorsement deal that Charlotte McCaw can get her teeth sunk into when she grows teeth, a baby MasterCard. You're never too young to ruin your credit rating

by buying $100,000 worth of Peppa Pig merchandise online. And then Richie will have to do a few more of those ads with that guy. Richie! Richie! It'll be Richie! Charlotte! Charlotte! Charlotte! Richie! It'll be Richie! Charlotte! Charlotte! Charlotte! Richie! Which could be quite cute,

but I don't know if you're allowed to use babies to endorse credit cards. Probably not. That is today's top six. So obviously Shortland Street is on tonight at 7 o'clock, but on Monday it is the cliffhanger. This is a Kiwi tradition. Kiwi tradition. 7 o'clock, that is it is The Cliffhanger. This is a Kiwi tradition. Kiwi tradition.

It's 7 o'clock. That is for an hour. It is. And joining us in studio is special guest Ryan O'Kane who plays Dylan and Daniel Reinhardt.

Good morning. Killed it. You play twins. It's true. I do. Do you get two pay slips? I do not. I do not get that.

Yes. This is the first time Shortland Street's ever had, like, one actor playing two characters. Yeah, I think not since the Wests on Outrageous Fortune. Did you ask Anthony Starr for some tips on? I didn't. He was out of contact range. Boo.

That's his responsibility. Well, yeah, to pass the baton. Yeah, yeah, totally. For one person playing two characters. Four-man relay. How does it work? Do you do all of one twin's? Because at the moment you've got a moustache.

It's true. Now, is that only one twin's moustache or do both twins have a moustache? No, I had to have the complete shave, which I was really unhappy about because I hate being clean shaven. But it's because they cast a guy, a lovely guy, Finn, who is opposite me, and when they shoot over your shoulder, they couldn't match the colour of the stubble.

Or the level. Oh, right. God, they made it hard for themselves. Yeah. So if you ever, like, gonna, like if you fight yourself. Which happens. It happened last night, a little tussle. How do you do that?

So you're obviously tussling with someone who looks like you. Well very awkwardly, it's sort of it's all, especially in the split screen stuff you're not allowed to cross a certain line so it was all very dancey. You can't, they can't like get his face square on. No. In fact it's really rough for him because

he's never, he never sees himself on screen. I would always have your fights under a blanket. Hot or a tent. Yes, or a tent. It's like, hey, come back here, twin. You'll find me in this tent. I'm all about shortcuts and making work easier for myself. And then you just do a voiceover.

So you're in there just by yourself going, ah! And then in, is it ATR? Is that what they call it? ADR. ADR. Where you're adding audio afterwards. You're like, hey, oh, oh, oh, ah, take that. And then that'll be perfect. Do you put on a slightly different voice? Yeah. Yes.

Yeah, I do. Do you mean for like the different characters? Yeah, slightly. So like one's good and one's bad. Like Dylan's a baddie So how do you like Dylan's gonna have A deeper voice Well yeah actually Yeah

Whereas Daniel's A little higher A little softer Yeah there you go Yeah That's how that is That's the one It's acting

A little unassuming Yeah Yeah Nice I love it What do we What do we I mean you don't

Give it away Because it's on Monday The big cliffhanger But there's always Like there's been The bomb But there's the Pre-cliff Monday, the big cliffhanger, but there's always like, there's been the... But there's the pre-cliffhanger of the cliffhanger tonight. Yeah. The teaser over the week.

Big episode tonight. Yeah. Yeah, there's a car involved. Oh. Oh. Okay. And you know, look, Dylan's got a past with cars. He's not great with seatbelts.

He hasn't seen the safety videos. Yeah. You know, so anything could happen. Or he could get stuck in a car wash. What a cliffhanger. Will he get out? Will it scratch his car? Anything could happen.

Playing these bad boy characters, do you get a bit of grief on the street from people? No, but he's good and bad. Good and bad? It's true. Do people choose which one they're going to talk to you about? Not so far, just because Daniel's new. Although a lot of people think that, yeah, there's two separate characters. So I decided to put up a photo

of the three of us. There was triplets for a while. So a lot of people thought, yeah, where's the third guy? I know, he's a stunt double. He just comes in when he's needed. That's confusing. You're a really confusing Shortland Street fans. Alright, so the cliffhanger

is an hour long Monday night. Can you tell us anything? Any little tidbits? Does someone die? Yeah, someone doesn't make it. Someone does not pull through. Good.

It's not a cliffhanger unless there's death. No, that's right. There's death. See, if I lived in Fern Dovers this is when I'd take my annual leave. Don't stick around for Christmas.

It's a horrible place. Yeah, I'd leave early December, come back really early January because it's all done and dusted by then. On the plus side though, if one of your characters dies, at least you've still got a job. Yes.

That's true. Like, if you were only playing one character, it would be such a shame to have both die in ritual suicide or something like that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You hedged your bets. That's right. Come in, they're wearing brand new sneakers, they've got the Kool-Aid, it's something like that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You hedged your bets. That's right.

Come in, they're wearing brand new sneakers, they've got the Kool-Aid, it's like Merry Christmas. Yeah. And they both do it. Yeah. Or the fight in the tent

goes badly. For both. Well, it's very intense. They both do it. Ah. I'm sorry. I'm not sorry. I'm not sorry.

No, don't be sorry. Don't be sorry for a pun. Don't be sorry. Well, like I say, the Shortland Street Cliffhanger is seven o'clock, hour long on Monday, of course, tonight as well. Free Cliffhanger, Cliffh'clock, hour long on Monday, of course, tonight as well.

Free Cliffhanger, Cliffhanger. Ryan O'Kane, thanks for joining us in studio. Thanks for having me. FM. Last night, I just need to touch on this again because this is something that has changed my life. I don't know if you should be touching on what you were touching on last night again here at work.

What was I touching on? That just really tickled me. Whatever you were touching last night, you should not be touching. How do you know what he was touching last night? You don't know. Because it was night time and it's Fletch. I was packing my suitcase. No, but you gave it away with your facials.

Don't get, I didn't do anything. Stop looking so guilty then Why do you always Do this to me Oh I wonder why It's funny I was Okay so last night

And I was up quite I didn't get to sleep last night Because we have to wake up Everybody was up late last night I was up late last night Was it a moon thing You were up late last night Megan put an Instagram story on

Oh yeah When I was going to bed And I almost messaged Saying please go to bed But then I realised I was also not in bed Well yeah I didn't put an Instagram story on when I was going to bed and I almost messaged saying, please go to bed. But then I realised I was also not in bed. I didn't get to bed till 10 because I was packing and I realised that I'm actually... Oh, man, that's a late one.

I'm underprepared. And oh my God, like I know we talked about this as a bit of a life hack a month or so ago, but wow, now that I've actually used them, oh my God, this has changed my life. I'm so excited. And I've been telling Megan, I told Megan when I first got to work, packing cells

in your suitcase, oh my god as an organising nerd I just don't understand why you can't fold them in like little areas like jerseys. Why don't you just cut some cardboard and make, no it's not the same. I mean if you're going to do that you just get the packing cells So they, I got, you can get them

Kmart have got them I think Katmandu have got them and they do that, you just get the packing self. You can get them. Kmart have got them, I think. Catman do have got them. And they do medium, small, all sizes. Oh, my God. Do you know I've got all my undies. Just listen to yourself, please. Oh, my God. Just remember.

Oh, my God. Isn't that coming big? Isn't that coming small? You're going away over the summer break. You and the family, you need to get some of these. I'm telling you, change your life. Oh, you've made the mistake to think that dads get their own suitcases. Oh, do they not?

When you become a dad, you forego at least half of your suitcase. Right. To a little bit of a, it's not all fitting in this suitcase. Can we put some in yours? That's my life now. Right. But maybe these packing cells would be good because then I can pack my stuff. Segregate.

And you know what's yours. And I've got one for my socks. Oh, my God. And for my T's yours. And I've got one for my socks. Oh my God. And for my t-shirts. There's a separate one. But I made such a song and dance about how stupid they were. I can't try them now. But I heard from so many people when we talked about it.

And they're just like, where have you been for the last like four, three, two years? They're huge. They're so good. Do you have an empty little one for like dirty undies on the way back? Well, no, I haven't thought of it. I just use a plastic bag. A laundry one. I've always loved a laundry bag in my luggage.

Right. And generally it's just like the bag, like the hotel where you're staying, it's in the cupboard. It's like, put your stuff in here and we'll dry clean. And I'm like, I'm not paying for that, but I'll take your bag. And sometimes it's like a nice sort of like a canvasy or linen bag. I'm like, boink, see ya. Don't you probably get charged for that?

I've never been charged for it. No, they don't charge you for it. You could have checked your credit card on the way out. I have also not checked my credit card

on the way out. You're packed. This is how Fletch functions. When do you leave? Four o'clock. And when do you get back? How many hours, we'll put it this way,

how many hours before we're on air next year do you get back from your holiday? I land at 5am and we're on air the next day at 6. So a day. So I'm here a day. Oh, that's good.

You gave it a day. That's actually pretty good for you. Last time you gave it an hour. You came straight from the airport, eh? Well, it was either that or come straight from the airport to the first show of the year. I thought that's a bit much. Well, you did that last time.

Yeah, true. I mean, you were an hour late. But honestly, if you're going away this summer, packing sows, oh my God, it's life changing. Yeah, true. I mean, you were an hour late. But honestly, if you're going away this summer, packing sales, oh, my God, it's life-changing. I want you to try, Megan, and then report back over the summer break. My peak of wealth would be, like... Packing sales?

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. I knew someone, and their family was so rich. They had a beach house, and they didn't pack anything because anything because they had like a set of clothes at the beach house. They had like a set of drawers full of clothes that was just like beach house. No. I know. I was like, what? What?

What if you needed the jacket that's at the beach house? Like when we went on holiday, we went to like this batch and we took everything. My dad had a full caged trailer worth of stuff for a two week holiday. It was nuts. I'm happy for my peak of wealth to be Kmart packing sales. Suits me fine. F.A.M.

You two just keep it together for the last show of the year please. I thought he had something important to tell me but he was just telling me someone has a hot girlfriend. One of the guys that started Twitter. Oh, okay. Unbelievable. Really hot girlfriend.

I thought it was important that you needed to tell me right then. Oh, I just like seeing other, like, nerdy dudes doing well for themselves. Okay. I want to talk now about a guy, Eric is his name, and he's from the UK. So he's an unemployed dad, and we all want this to be true.

So he had a scratch card, and it's a crossword one, so you get the letter and then you find it in the crossword. Is this in New Zealand? No, this is in the UK, so it's Camelot, which is like our instant Kiwi over there. Okay, Camelot. They have refused to pay out. He's saying he won £200,000 on this Pharaoh's Fortune card, which is just a crossword situation.

But they are refusing to pay out. These are my least favourite ones to do because they're so time-consuming and I'm always worried. No, but it makes the thrill last longer. That's why I like it. Oh, okay, Lottery's Commission, calm down. Sorry. I'm with Fletch.

If you get halfway through and you've not got any vowels. Yeah, and it's so funny. Then they throw you an E and you get excited but you need it a U. Or an A. And then you get a Z and a Q and you're like, why are you screwing me like this, Crossword? And then you get an exclamation point and you get excited but you needed a U and then you get a Z and a Q and you're like why are you screwing me like this crossword and then you get

an exclamation point and you're like you're not even a letter and then you've wasted 10 minutes call me old fashioned I just like those matchy three

easy matchy three ones yeah but it's like you know like you know they need to do an instant kiwi where the prize is becoming an instant kiwi and like if you're a migrant you could win residency oh yeah okay They need to do an instant Kiwi where the prize is becoming an instant Kiwi.

And like if you're a migrant, you could win residency. Oh, yeah. Okay. Because I always say instant Kiwi is not a – Ryan, why is it called an instant Kiwi? Yeah. Yeah. It should be called an instant money. This guy, like I said, he's 56.

He's an unemployed dad. It's Christmas time. We all want him to get 200,000 pounds. And I was like, come on. Like, why are they not paying out? This isn't fair. They are saying that he has doctored the

F. He's doctored the F to make it look like an E. Now, from far away, I would say he's doctored an E to make it look like an F. An F to make it look like an E. So he's tried to add the stick on the bottom. However, I was like, from far away, I was like, no, it's definitely an E. Yeah.

But they've done a wee zoom up of the F. And he has, I mean, you can tell because part of it's like scratched away. And you know, like your ballpoint pen betrays you because you're like trying to make it work. Yeah. And he's made an indent in the paper because the ink didn't come out. That'll happen. Oh dear.

You've always got to get a pen going on a bit of notepaper before you try to forge a document. Yeah, torn a bit of the paper. So he's gone to the press and said they're not paying out my $200,000. Yeah, this was a misprint. I haven't doctored it. I am not trying to cheat.

They're trying to tell me that the F has been changed but I bought it and scratched it myself. But also a hot play because I always compare how good a crossword letter is in a scratchy

to how many points it's worth in Scrabble. Yeah. An F is worth four points so obviously not used as much. Yeah. E, one point and it's the most popular letter.

You get 24 Es in Scrabble. So, I mean, I can see why he's done it. They're probably great play, great thought. But barcodes would be the downfall of that one. Yeah, well, that's the thing. They scan it and that tells you if you've won or not. Yeah. So, yeah, they said based on the photo,

we can reconstruct the scratch card in our system and we can confer that the F has been altered to look like an E. Sorry, buddy. Not today. He's trying. FEM. ZM. A study has been done, a recent study that looked into driving habits and mobile phones.

Millennials, Gen Xs and boomers. Baby boomers. What about Gen Y? What's Gen Y? What's Gen Y? It's the middle child of the current, isn't it? And I am that middle child. So, wah-bah-mah, wah-bah-mah, wah-bah-mah. Well, no, you'd be an Xer.

You'd be an Xer, a millennial Xer. Back up. I'm not a generation Xer. You're a millennial. Oh, I'm up across millennial. I can't. Oh, my God. You're an up.

I'm a better millennial. I shan't be called an up across millennial. I'm a deaf millennial. Like, right. Oh my god. You're an uppercross. I'm a better millennial. I shan't be called an uppercross millennial. No, no, no. I'm a deaf millennial. I'm an uppercross like right on the verge. Right. Well, anyway. Elder. They didn't look at the. I'm a millennial elder. They didn't look at millennial elders. I think they just class millennial elders as millennials. Millennials,

Gen Xers and baby boomers, who uses their phones while driving the most? Who do you think? Millennials. 91% of millennials admitted to driving and using their phones. I can't remember life without them though. We're better at it. Can you imagine baby boomers trying to text and drive? They hold it and use their other hand and squint at the phone.

Well, they have to hold the phone like at arm's length, don't they? It's very hard. H-I space. With their glasses on the end of their nose. Yeah. That would be like,

I mean, I know we're not supposed to, but just if you would rather be in a car with a baby boomer who's doing it or a millennial who's doing it.

A millennial. Exactly. Gen X is 79% admitted to using their phones while driving. That's more than I would have thought. And baby boomers,

what do you think? Because it's higher than I would have thought. Is this boomers, what do you think? Because it's higher than I would have thought. Is this just texting and driving? Or is it using their phone? Having your phone in your hand. What do you reckon? 40%. 50%.

30%. 64%. Really? It's quite high, isn't it? Yeah. Wow. Top activities of all of those researched included reading texts or emails, 48%.

Oh, I wouldn't read emails. Updating. I don't read emails anytime, so I'm trying to do it while I'm driving. You've got my word. Updating or checking social media, 23%. And recording a video, which I guess includes Snapchat or Insta stories, 18%. Wow. I'm pretty good, actually, because I use it as an excuse not to talk to people.

I'm like, oh, I was driving. I couldn't answer, I was driving. Oh, I definitely don't answer my phone, but I don't answer my phone when I'm not driving. I've got one of these, I thought I was buying one of those clips that holds your phone that goes into your like, you know, your air vent and you push it in there

and it can hold the phone. Yeah. But for some reason it sits right above the steering wheel. Okay. On the bit where you look down

into your thing into your readout. Yeah. And I've been using voice commands. Oh, okay. Like I'm like hey Siri.

Didn't I know you've Is that your Siri? Glad I got a Siri. I hope there was some Siri's listening that I set off then And I'm like Open Spotify

Right And then just boom Away she goes Why won't you listen To the radio? Yeah but We're right here Also

Like what are you doing? Oh well I mean that was just A bad example Of what you could do I was following him On the motorway the other day And he was still like

Hitting the rumble lines And swerving in the lanes I was like Are you texting? He's like No I in the lanes. I was like, are you texting? He's like, no, I'm using voice command. I'm like, well, then what is happening? I've been drinking. No, I haven't. The last month has been an emotionally charged month.

I just heard your breathe in was like. Yeah, it has been. We sold our house. This was the house like, this was the first we bought our house in 2010. We lived there house. This was the house like, this was the first, we bought our house in 2010. We lived there for like eight and a half years. It was the house that we had our kids in and stuff.

Yeah. So that was quite emotional. Yeah. When I left that for the last time, I had a little bit of a cry. That is sad when you think about it. Yeah. Because you filter those memories from the babies from,

Yeah. You know, when they first arrived into the world. And when I was a kid, my parents still live in the house we moved into when I was two. So I've got no memory previous of that house and they still live there. I'll probably be more of a wreck

when they sell that house or move away from that house. Because, I don't know, I'm weird like that. Tie a lot of emotion to things. So there was that. And then yesterday when we were talking about Kaz got a little bit emotional there too.

But I'm not a ashamed to admit it. Yeah. I can cry. I like a cry. You feel a bit better afterwards. Better than venting it up and dropping dead of a heart attack or a stroke

when you're in your 50s, gentlemen. Yeah. Can I just say as well, I'm so overwhelmed with the amount of messages and comments that I've had on Instagram and stuff.

And there's, like, there's hundreds. I'm not even exaggerating. It's like, I always try to go through and reply to anyone that messages me, but it's so impossible. I would literally be there.

It's incredible, and it's affected a lot of people, the death of Kaz. I even just got a little package this morning from Viviana, dropped off some Colombian goodies and said she was upset. Sending condolences. And just like, yeah, people have been so lovely, so thank you for your kind words. And it did, it got emotional yesterday on the show. Yeah, it did.

We're not ashamed to admit it. That's just what happens. It's part of being human. And my daughter's heard yesterday's tribute to Kaz in the car and said to Sade, is Dad crying again? Sade said, well, yeah, he is. He's, you know, he's seeing his friend sad and he loved that cat too.

So yeah, he's a little bit sad and there's nothing wrong with crying. And Andy was like, remember that time where you wished him happy birthday and he burst into tears? And mum said, yeah, my, their mum, Sade, said, yeah, yeah, yeah, well, he was, you know, he loves you, he loves you girls very much.

So when you do things like, nice things like that for him, he gets a, he gets a little bit teary. And then, so yesterday Indy finished at school. Yeah. At a school we've moved and she's going to be going to a different school next year. And she got a prize at prize giving. Well, that was too much. Did you go again? Oh God.

She got up on stage and stood up on stage. I know, I do this thing where I can feel it coming on and I'll start like pinching, like hurting myself, like biting my lip or, and apparently that's a good way of like distracting your brain temporarily. Right. Just because. Everybody else is like, well done.

And I'm like, yes, yes, yes. I think that would be the sweetest thing if you went to a school prize giving and you saw the dad just having a little cry. Oh, it was like full misty, like a bit of a, so much so that you had to be like that. And then after the prize giving, I went to say thank you to a teacher. She's had the most amazing teacher this year. Yeah.

And I know Amanda sometimes listens on the way, which is amazing. She still talks to me after she hears some of the things we talk about but she's just been the most amazing teacher and so i went to say thank you to her and i started up again there's all these kids around she's doing a head count of who's walking back to school and i'm like i just want to just know andy comes over and she's like, are you crying again? Yep. Yep. I didn't want to choose the things for that. And then like mum and dad come to our new house.

Dad's like, I really love that. You guys should be really proud of this new place. And I was like, yes. All right, thanks. When your parents say they're proud of you, you're like. Oh, my God. And it's just like, I'm just like, oh, I'm exhausted. You're all cried out, mate. Well, I don't know if I am.

I've still got more to give. But it's just, it's exhausting being this emotional. It's your manipause. It is. I'm fully my manipause. Friday Flashback. Thanks, Sandhya. Well, the Prime Minister joins us in studio any minute.

But first, it's a tradition. Every Friday, it's Friday Flashback. This is our last one of the year, and traditionally, we do a Christmas song. We have in the past done Mariah Carey, because it's our favourite. Maybe the last two years we've done it, right? It's our favourite. But we've played her a bit on the show in the lead-up to now,

so I thought we'd switch it up a little bit. This Christmas song, it is a Christmas song, please. This is a good sing-along. I'll give you that. And to be fair, like, I know Mar bit. This Christmas song, it is a Christmas song, please. This is a good sing-along. I'll give you that. And to be fair, like I know Mariah Carey's song, that's like the 11th highest selling single of all time. But this song went number one everywhere

apart from France and Japan, which is a massive feat for a Christmas song. Crunchy. Because this song was all about like charity, wasn't it? Yeah, and France not only did it not go number one, it was number 34. So I don't know. Sac, and France not only did it not go number one, it was number 34. So I don't know. Sacre bleu.

They were just not into it at all. No. What else can I tell you? How many people were in this song? Officially? Lots. Lots, eh? Lots of people.

The person who wrote it would only get the money, right? It was for charity, wasn't it? So no one got paid. Who gets, after we play it on the radio, who gets that 10 cents? This song you're talking about, I've got today's fact of the day about this song. Okay.

So don't ruin it. So I will let you say your merry cherries now and we'll all feel good and then later on I'll blow you all out of the water with the bad aspects of the song. Well, it's old as well, but it went number one around the world from 1984. Oh. Oh, get out. Do they know it's old as well, but it went number one around the world from 1984. Oh, get out.

Do they know it's Christmas? Band-Aid, it's your Flashback Friday. ZM. Christmas time, we let it light and we banish it. And in our world of plenty, we can spread a smile of joy. Do they know it's Christmas time at all? Be the world Be the world Be the world Let them know it's Christmas time

Be the world Let them know it's Christmas time Be the world Let them know it's Christmas time Be the world Let them know it's Christmas time Be the world It's Band-Aid. Do they know it's Christmas?

On ZM, it's your Friday flashback just to get you in the Christmas mood. Do people like it? What's the feedback? People get very emotional to that song. Right. Well, it had an emotional meaning behind it. Yeah, I know, but I didn't know it still rung, the emotions.

Someone said, love this song, but why am I crying? First time I've heard this song this year. And there's been tears. It has been an emotional week. Right. Yeah. A group of girls on the Northern Motorway belting this out. Good.

Yeah. Very impressed. Someone's very impressed. Welcome to the studio for the final time because, heck, we're not working a day after today. The Prime Minister, Jacinda Ardern. Hello. Hello.

Merry Christmas. Thank you. Merry Christmas. Thank you. I'm feeling the cheer in here. So thank you. There are cherry pips. Do you want a cherry?

Oh, we should have cleared that. No, no, no. Are you sure you want a cherry? Nothing says Christmas like cherry and cherry pips left on the coffee table and around awkward places. We never had real cherries growing up when we were kids. No. Oh, those glazed cherries? Glazed.

They were, yeah. The glazed cherries. They put me off cherries for many years. I thought I didn't like cherries because of the glazed cherry. Me too. That's what happens when you grow up in rural New Zealand. Yeah. Small towns give you the glazed cherries.

Well, it's been an emotional week in New Zealand. Like,. Give you the glazed cherries. Well, it's been an emotional week in New Zealand. Is this your last week? No, one more week. Parliament's going right through. You're the Prime Minister. Can you not just be like, this is the end for us? We could have and

for some reason we decided to just charge on through. No, we actually have quite a bit to do. We'll be next week debating child poverty legislation. So that'll be pretty world leading. And that's my bill. So I'm pretty excited about it. And what a time of the year to reflect upon that.

Because it is where, you know, we see it happens year round, but I guess at Christmas when people are with their family and enjoying lavish spreads. Yeah. It is a time to consider that. It is, it is. I was out at Papakura Marae. Of course, if you're an Aucklander, you know Auckland City Mission is rebuilding.

And so they spread themselves around the city this year doing what they always do. And that's support families at Christmas time with additional food packages and presents and so on. And so they're all around the city. I went to visit one of their sites yesterday. And yeah, there was, you know, there's still huge need out there. But just at the same time, that real optimism amongst everyone that was there too. So yeah, bring the Christmas cheer for your family by giving if you can, you know, food, non-perishables.

Yeah. Find a place and just spread the love. It's your first Christmas as a mum. It is, yeah, it is. Do you think that changes the game? Oh, absolutely. I've already bought my novelty wear for Niamh. Oh, you've got a full mum.

Oh, yeah, I've got, oh, yeah, heck yes. It's like a slow introduction. So when she's like four or five, she just thinks that she's expecting it. She knows. I thought, you know, I even thought about, you know, down the track when she looks back on the photos

and she's like, why am I the only one dressed up as a reindeer? I did think that maybe we should go for family Christmas outfits because then at least we'll all be in it together. So just family onesies maybe or something like that. Shame for one spread amongst the whole family.

Yeah. That would be perfect. And what are you doing for Christmas? I'll be going back to Morrinsville for Christmas. So yeah, yeah, hometown. Yeah, right. You know the place. Yeah, but do they still do the Christmas Eve thing?

Well, I tried to do it with a bit of a tradition back in Morrinsville where people go to descend on one of the locals. But i i went there last well it might have been the year before yeah no one was there it was just me it was just it was just it was just me um security um i was gonna say if you rock into like rubies i don't know that was where it happened it was years ago yeah yeah it was if you rock in there with the like secret service i'll like get my dad to come in some shades and stuff if you want

so it looks like I've got security as well. Yeah, yeah, and then we could just, before we know it, we'd fill the place up. Uncle Murray. I just,

Uncle Murray would look great in a pair of sharkies looking like my security so if you just don't want to, if that's going to be awkward, we could organise some additional I'll stay in touch

because I don't want that to happen again. Yeah, okay. We'll wander in and be like don't want that to happen again. Yeah, okay. We'll wander in a bit. You've got to drink a Waikato though, I think. I did drink a Waikato. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was just me, myself with a security drinker.

I wasn't completely alone. Clark was here. It was all good. What's been the highlight of 2018 for you? Oh, Niamh, 100%. Right. Yeah, because, you know, this is an incredible job, but politics, you know, is always

fleeting. You have your time, and then people decide your time's up, but I'll always be a mum, so yeah, it was awesome. That's been awesome for me. Yeah, and have you had any, like, really because, you know, first time parents those milestones really surprise you.

Yes. And then you're like, oh! Well, those milestones really surprise you. Yes. And then you're like, oh, well, that's maybe just me. I cried kind of anything. But yeah, also just how strong babies can be. She drew blood last week. Well, with fingers or toes? Fingers. Fingers. I was just, to be fair, I was right in her grill,

as I often am. And she was just like, ah, mum's face. And she just ripped. Because have you had a toe between the ribs yet? That's a beautiful, like that'll drop you. Well, while she was on the inside I did and that's quite painful. I've only experienced it on the outside. Same, same probably. No, I want to know what mum went through.

I'm going to cut myself open and get in there and just hit the rib from the inside. I can't even imagine you, because we're all like, hello, little cutie. I can't imagine you doing that at all. I can't imagine it. Yeah, yeah. No, I descend into full. Do you?

Who doesn't? And then she gives you a jab. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. No, and I still smile. Oh, you're so cute. It's my eyes water. There's some great sort of cross parliament. Like if Simon Bridges is having a go better.

Just bring out my bevel. Yeah. I don't do it that badly. I know. Just to be clear. All right. Sort of authority. You've got a bit of authority to it.

Well, thanks for coming in. Oh, it's a pleasure to see you guys. One last thing before you go. You might have noticed there's a green screen behind you and a bit of authority to it. Well, thanks for coming in. Oh, it's a pleasure to see you guys. One last thing before you go. You might have noticed there's a green screen behind you and a sort of a festive-looking couch. Oh, no. I just actually only noticed that just now. We have a surprise for you, Prime Minister.

Oh, my word. Merry Christmas, Prime Minister. How did you get Santa? He wants to hug me. Shall we go in? Yeah, that's completely up to you. Merry Christmas, young lady. Merry Christmas.

Oh, my goodness, you've grown since I last saw you. Yes, he's grown. You were down here last time. Oh, thanks. You're a feminist. I am, I am. Does that mean I was on the naughty or nice list? Is it a gift or a punishment?

You're on the naughty list at this stage. Okay. Santa's only joking. Santa's dressed in red, but he votes blue by the sounds of that. So we're just going to get a Santa photo with you. Amazing. Love that. As though we can't really take you down to a mall. You're a bit busy for that.

No, this will be grand. We're not going for the knee Santa. Sit next to you for that. Santa boundaries. Very clear boundaries going for the knee, Santa. We'll just sit next to you for that. Boundaries. Very clear boundaries. There has been a cinema census. So basically people tell, they give away the obnoxious things they do in a cinema.

Oh, right. Okay. Like Vaughn. Classic. Who's that person? I'll Google them during the movie. Find IMDb hard. Like if I'm going to a movie, I open IMDb before it starts

and I type in the movie and I just have it sitting there so I can be like, who's that? People don't like the phone, the brightness on the phone screen in their face. They'll be right. They'll deal with it. So basically, you could identify who you think was the worst and best behaved. Okay.

No surprises that the older age groups identified 18 to 25 as the worst behaved at the cinema. And then the over 26 demographics said that they were the best behaved. So 26 years onwards. Young people being boisterous while the film was on, glued to their phones was the biggest thing that people had a problem with. Right. There was, I had a person answer a phone call once. Oh, I mean, if you're on call and you had to, you have to leave.

Oh, no, I don't think it was on call. I think they just, because they were like, oh, I'm just in a movie. Yeah, no, I'll call you back. Oh, no, that's not cool. Put it call. I think they just, because they were like, oh, I'm just in a movie. Yeah, no, I'll call you back. Oh, no, that's not cool. Just put it on silent. Yeah, flip them one of those, because when your phone rings, you can send one of those auto texts. Can't talk now, call later.

Yeah. So, and also bringing hot food into a cinema is a. Oh, yeah, like butter chicken. But I thought most cinemas don't even let you do that anymore. Oh, you've got to smuggle it in. Yeah, you've got to smuggle. Big handbag. But they do, like, cinema checks as well.

So you can't be halfway through your butter chicken. Kebab's the easiest one to get in. But, and also, you know how, like, you buy something beforehand and they bring it in to you? How come you're allowed to do that? No, that's because that's the posh one. That's the posh cinema. Yeah, real.

Lots of just, like, normal, I mean, not gold class or anything. I mean, like just the normal ones. They do that now. If you order chippies or something, like hot chips. And you say, bring it in. I'm at the seat. Yeah. Or if it's not ready by the time that you're going in,

they ask for your seat and they bring it in. I've not experienced that. Oh, yes. It's a thing. I'm always a pre-purchaser. Like I'll buy the stamps and everything before I get to the movies. At the dairy because it's cheaper or the supermarket. Yeah.

What about chip packets? What's the thoughts on chip packets? Well, no, because everyone's rustling lollipackets and everything. That's just to be expected. I like to think that if I need to really dig in to get my Maltesers, I'll wait till a loud part of the movie to rustle around. Right. I think I'm quite conscious.

Conscientious. Conscientious. Conscious. It's good to be conscious. You paid a lot of money to be there. I've got so many movies I need to see

in the next little while. Like I'm actually this is the most movies I've had lined up to watch in ages. What's that time of year where everyone's putting out a movie

because they want to be in for the Oscars? Oh none of my ones are going to be Oscar movies. What are we talking? Aquaman. Right. Spider-Man Into the Spider-Verse, which I'm most excited about.

Right. How to Train a Dragon 2. How to Train a Dragon 3. Oh, is it 3? Yeah. The final of the trilogy. Thank you. I want to see Bumblebee.

That apparently is the best Transformers movie yet. Really? That's what I've read. Fletch remains skeptical. I've just got so many movies that are going to be over summer that I need to see So like two weeks of rain would be good Don't put that on all of us Please

It's enjoyable, grass grows in that and I get to go to the movies Fact of the day Day, day, day, day And what We're in the departure lounge, aren't we? Jeez, that was rubbish. What can only be described as the most un-Vaughan Smith thing ever to have happened? I've over-prepared. You spent money.

I can do that. I've over-prepared. Okay. I've got two. Wow. What are you going to do? I reallyprepared. Okay. I've got two. Wow. What are you going to do? I really like... Do the more festive of the two.

Well, this one's very festive. It's about your flashback Friday. Okay. It's pretty quick though. Okay. I should have just done this. I didn't know that I prepared two. Again, classically Vaughan Smith forgetting what you've done and what you haven't done.

But then, if you're going to do both, you should do the non-festive one first. End with the Christmas one. Okay. I can do... Well, no with the Christmas one. Ah, okay. Well, no, the Christmas one's real quick. I'll just do it now. I should have done it when you did Flashback Friday. So the Do They Know It's Christmas, this song here, 1984, right? Yep.

So Bob Geldof was in charge of this. He set out to make $80,000 for Ethiopia. And he ended up making $8 million. Oh, jeez. Okay. And he was like, $8 million. Oh, jeez. And he was like, to be honest, people keep going on about it. Like, he's a bit over it now.

Okay. He's like, I wish people remembered some of the other stuff I've done. Right. So, they gave the money to the Ethiopian government. Some of the money. They gave a lot to people doing aid in the area. Right.

Charities trying to help out the area, but they gave a big chunk to the Ethiopian government. Sorry, if I could just, I'm just going to get it to the good bit of the song. Oh, here we go. Okay. They gave it to the Ethiopian government. And the Ethiopian government

used their allocation of the funds to poison the crops of people they considered enemies of the state. But it's so happy. Further, further amplifying the famine. Feed the world? Impossible, Megan. We've poisoned the crops. Oh, my gosh. I know.

So somebody sent that in to me, and I was like, I've got to see if this is true. You know when you listen to Spotify and that little thing starts flashing up? I saw it say something bad about this song, and I was like, not reading it. It flashes up little facts about the lyrics. Yeah. So if you listen to this song on Spotify, it just pops up and it tells you the Ethiopian government used their portion of the funds raised to poison crops of the enemies

of the state, which were just average farmers that disagreed. Yeah. Feed the world with poison crops at Christmas time. Horrible. Oh mum, can I please

have some more Roundup corn. Roundup corn. That's terrible. Oh, Mum, pass the mashed Monsanto potatoes. Yeah, isn't that horrible? What an absolute downer, Vaughan.

So I'll give you the other one because it's funny and a little bit dirty. I just feel like we can't end Fact of the Day for the year on that. Hey, Caitlin, you drove a Honda. Caitlin, Caitlin. Is yours a Honda Fit or a Honda Jazz? A Honda Fit. This is about Caitlin's car.

I feel we haven't given Caitlin enough shit about this. It's a lemon. It's a lemon color. Yeah, what's with lemon? You can see her coming. Hey, at least you can see her coming. Not like double D's. You didn't see my little, what colour was it? Silver.

People might not hit her because they'll see her. So when Honda, the Jazz is also known as the Fit. Same car with two names. They decided to launch this firstly in Europe. And the name was not Fit, it was the Honda Fitta. Which sounded hip. They decided to launch this firstly in Europe and the name was not Fit, it was the Honda Fitta.

Which sounded hip, they were like, oh it feels a little bit European, but nobody asked the Swedish. As Fitta in Swedish literally translated to a vulgar description of a lady's parts. So Caitlin is driving a Honda rude description of a lady's parts.

And the tagline for the Honda Fitta was, small on the outside, big on the inside. Wow. Oh, okay. So you can imagine a Swedish person opening the paper. I think that's offensive. Honda Fitta. Fitta?

Small on the outside, big on the inside. Oh, dear to me. What is that voice? I don't know. I was trying to do the shit from the Muppets, but then I realised he doesn't say any actual words. He goes, That's all he really does.

So yeah, today's fan. And then it got called the Jazz, but it got called the fit some other places, but much better than the Swedish thinking there was a, it's like the equivalent of the C-bomb.

Whoa. It's the vulgar. Yeah. You imagine the Honda C-bomb. I think Kiwis would embrace that to be honest.

They would love it. It'd really sell pretty well. Yeah. That's a new car. It's a good C-bomb. Real good C-bomb. Real good C-Bomb. So today's facts of the day is the money raised from Feed the World was used to poison the crops and the Honda Jazz could have been called something significantly worse than the Swedish.

Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Okay. It's the last show of the year, isn't it? Things are falling apart. We've had lots of cherries. FEM. I, um, my car had to go in for a warrant of fitness and then classically something else was wrong with it. Because you treated it like absolute crap.

No, I just... This is the Honda that you reverse into things all the time. Oh yeah, but it's not like that. Okay. The front right brake. Yeah, that needs doing. What are you complaining about?

Oh yeah, no, no, no. It's just classic. Right before Christmas it needs just classic. It's just this classic situation. Right before Christmas it needs fixing. Yeah, yeah. So that's happening and when I got there I arranged it

so I could have a car. I could go in, they could take this because it was only going to be a couple of hours until we found out the caliper situation. Do you have to arrange that

because I'm always like, do you have a loan card? They're like, no. No, I always ask before I go in because I've been there. And they're like, oh, the Honda, because last time I think I got a Honda Jazz or they're like, oh, the Honda, because last time

I think I got a Honda Jazz or a Honda Fita. Okay. Sorry, just Swedish listeners. Because it's a Honda dealer. Yeah. Yeah,

a Honda place. So yesterday I got in there and they're like, oh, sorry, the only car we've got left is the Volkswagen Golf. Oh,

okay. And I was like, how low? And I walk out and it's black and I'm like, oh my God, it's chic,

babes. So, and I hop and I'm driving and it's nice and I'm like, oh my god, it's chic, babes. And I hop and I'm driving and it's nice. It's a nice little drive. I mean, I've heard they're very expensive to fix and, you know, it's only a matter of time. But I get up to

these lights, right? These traffic lights and this guy pulls up beside me and he looks and he's like, sweet. I was like, hey. Because I don't know what he's talking about. I think he's hitting on me for a start. Right, okay. And then he's like, sweet. I was like, hey. Because I don't know what he's talking about. I think he's hitting on me for a start. Right, okay. And then he's like, is it turboed?

What? And I was like, man, I've got absolutely no idea. This is at the traffic lights with the windows down. Yeah. Just like, hey, brah, is your car turboed? Yeah. Is it turboed? I was like, oh, I've got absolutely no idea.

He's like, oh, floor it on takeoff and I'll be able to tell. I'm like, I'm not flooring it on takeoff. It's not even your car there's a sticker on it that says please return with as much gas as you got it I'm not burning excess fuel

I don't know how much this thing's going to cost to fill up I'm not flooring it I'm not flooring it and he's like oh just rev it then I'm like

who are you I shan't be revving it I shan't be flooring it this is not my car you send us a photo of this It doesn't look like A racy car No but it's got

Like it's peppy Right Is it Yeah yeah it's peppy Is it what Auckland Boy racers drive Golf I don't know because

Then I told this to Sade And she said Malcolm in the middle Had one I was like How do you know that And she's like It was in the Fast and the Furious

And I often forget She was a girl racer back in the day. So she probably had been told. Right. And then I looked it up and Frankie Munoz, Malcolm from Malcolm in the Middle, his car was in the first Fast and the Furious movie. It was the Volkswagen Golf. So then I got pretty deep into that. Right.

And yeah, I didn't floor it. I'm driving it very, very conservatively. Right. Because it's not my car. Right. And yeah, I didn't floor it. I'm driving it very, very conservatively. Right. Because it's not my car. Yeah. But I care about other people's cars more than mine.

But yeah, sorry to the guy who asked me to floor it. And I don't know, I still don't know if it's turbo. It doesn't go but then not all cars

do get a turbo. So you're getting a lot of interest from male drivers either about the car or like expecting to see some hottie in there.

Because I don't know if it's a higher statistic, but a lot of I've had gay friends that have the Volkswagen Golf. Or is it the Polo? That seems to be... I don't know which one is honey to the bee, to be honest. That could be it, actually. Maybe, is that? Have I tapped into the niche market of

homosexual boy racists? That would be untapped. It might be untapped. If I know anything the niche market of homosexual boy racists, that would be untapped. It might be untapped. If I do anything for my gay friends, it's not often untapped. Everything's tapped. Well plumbed. Flowing. Okay.

Stop now. Yeah, I will stop now because I'm pretty sure if I take any more steps into that plumbing analogy, stuff's going to get real bad. Let me tell you a story of the early 2000s. Okay, so this goes back a bit of history to the story. But way back in the day, like 2005, 2004, 2005, I met Joel Little, Paul and Jaden. They were in Goodnight Nurse.

I went around the country hosting Smokefree Rockquests and they were the band that was doing the Smokefree Rockquest tour. Which was all the schools, mentored the kids, played at all the finals and stuff. Had they won one before or they'd been in it? They'd been involved. Yeah, they'd been involved. And like just the nicest dudes.

And yeah, they're band Goodnight Nurse. Oh, we've been involved. And, like, just the nicest dudes. Yeah. And, yeah, they banned Goodnight Nurse. Oh, we've known them for years. We've known them for ages and ages. So then they started getting radio play, and they did really well for themselves, and they were just always around New Zealand man. Yeah. Kind of like punk, kind of like...

Punk pop. That punk pop that was big in the mid-2000s. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just pre-emo. Yep. That sort of punk pop era. Fast forward. Fast forward to 2014 when Joel from Goodnight Nurse,

was it 2014 when Royals? I think so, yeah, that sounds about right. He produced Lorde's first album and co-wrote Royals and everything. So all of a sudden just, phew, his rocket takes off. Now it's at that stage that I start, we start interviewing people who have worked with him. And an ongoing joke was once I sorted it out, shall we say.

Sorted it out. Fletcher's like shaking his head at me. Don't say you rigged something. I had nothing to do with this. So I sorted it out. And I had really good connections with Microsoft and Xbox at the time. I was like an ambassador. And I sorted it out to get him an Xbox.

Yeah. Because he wanted one. For free. For free. Yeah. How about a struggling musician? Exactly. How about a brother?

Good guy. Yeah. So it then became a bit of a joke that when we were interviewing these massive musicians that he was working with, I'd always say, hey, next time you're talking to Joel Little, tell him he still owes me an Xbox. Like when Khalid was in here. Yeah, I was like, hey, man, you work with Joel, eh? Are you telling me he owes me an Xbox?

And they never know if you're serious or... And they're like, what? I'm like, Joel Little, he owes me an Xbox. They'll be like, okay, man, like, weird out. Now, because bear in mind that after the Lord's album, he has worked with some incredible musicians. Did you say he worked with Elton John this week? So Elton John has remixed,

well, done a version of Young, Dumb and Broke. By Killer Heath. And Joel was, he said, I've always had Elton in my studio when we even wrote Young, Dumb and Broke. So Elton John has re-recorded a song that Joel Little wrote. And was it last year or this year where he had like two or three songs in like the top ten

in the Billboard charts? He's doing so well for himself. The nicest dude. Just a great family. Just really nice people. But you still talk shit about him.

Well, I've got far worse stories. Trust me. But when we talked to Ellie Goulding recently, I thought she's just worked

with him. I'll try the old trick. We actually saw you in a photo, someone we know because he's a New Zealander, Joel Little. You were in the studio with Joel. Yes, I was. I worked with Joel a few times. We've done a few tracks together, but I really like him a lot and he's a lovely person as well. Just next time you see him, tell him he still owes Vaughn an Xbox.

When he was poor, I got him an Xbox. All right, I will let him know. I'll text him after this. Yes, please do. He's amongst the cultural elite and I'm just wondering when it's going to come back. When the goodies start coming the other way down the street. So, that's what they all say. Yeah, I'll mention it. In her voice, she's street. So, that's what they all say. Yeah, the sheepishness in her voice.

She's like, yeah, I'll give him a text. That was a couple of weeks ago. So, she did. The first one actually followed through. And apparently, it was just something along the lines of, hey, had an interview with the New Zealand radio station today and the guy was quite insistent that you owe him an Xbox. So last night,

I get a message on Twitter from Joel saying, hey, I hear you're still talking smack. And to my friend, Ali Goulding, about me owing you an Xbox. Well, I've got a new one here

with your name on it. But if you donate this one to the charity of your choice, I'll buy them a second one as well. It's up to you. Oh. So. See, nicest guy.

What a good man. Good guy. I mean, putting me between a rock and a hard place. Well, to be fair, you deserve it. And to be honest,

I'm a PlayStation guy now anyway. So you know what? Because it's the bloody season for it, I'm going to sort this out. Right. You're going to make it happen. We're going to take two Xboxes to the Starship at some stage soon. That is nice.

Thanks, Joel. I shared this on Instagram because I want to know, well, I want people to know that I'm a nice guy, but unless I've been around the bush, if I was just going to keep it to myself, I wouldn't have told him. But also, you're not. He's doing it.

But that's the thing. People are like, oh my God, Vaughn, that's so nice. I'm like, I've literally done nothing. You've piggybacked on Joel's kindness. This is Joel's kindness that's faster than this. He just let me pick where they're going. Okay. So we're going to give a couple of Xboxes to Starship

because, I mean, if these kids are stuck in Christmas, imagine being stuck in hospital over Christmas. Horrible. And them and their families and a lot of them, you know, are isolated to the specific wards and stuff so they can't get out. So if they can play Xbox over Christmas. But then I've upset my boo, my new number one, PlayStation. Oh, you're right.

So we're going to give a PlayStation to the Ronald McDonald house as well. Very nice. So, again, I've done nothing. All because you talked smack and Ali Goulding actually followed, if anything,

Ali Goulding deserves some credit for this. Yes, she instigated it all. So we'll sort this out.

We're around up until Christmas so sometime next week I think I'll try to get Joel and we'll go in and drop these off.

What I love most about the story is how everyone is always like, you must know thing. You're from New Zealand. You must know thing. Yeah, you're like, oh, it's not that small. And then you're like, oh, no, I do actually know them.

You can even be talking to Ellie Goulding and it's one degree of separation with another Kiwi. Yeah. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast for more. Check out FVM ZM on Facebook. ZM.