ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Megan Podcast - February 07 2019

Episode Date: February 6, 2019

Vaughan got into an ice debate yesterday, the new emoji's and what object would you marry?See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Welcome one, welcome all to the Fletch, Vaughan and Megan podcast brought to you by Spark. Get four gigs of bonus data on Spark's $49 prepaid value pack. Now, on with the podcast. Thanks, Anya. Good morning. Welcome to the show, Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. Good morning. Good morning. Feels like a Monday, but it's a Thursday. Yeah. Odd. I mean, but it's a Thursday. Yeah. Odd.

No, it's... I mean, I like having a break midweek. Yeah, it's good, but it's very confusing. Well, producer James was saying his neighbours were putting out the rubbish. Because their rubbish is a Monday. They thought yesterday was a Sunday. But that'll throw you, because then rubbish sometimes is like put back a day now too. So Thursday is your usual rubbish day.

It might be Friday. I'd just say burn it. Burn the rubbish and save yourself the trouble. But it'll just reset that. Not the bin. Just all the rubbish inside it. You'll need that bin again next week. Yeah.

All right, you lot. Listen up. It's story time. All right. week. Yeah. Alright you lot, listen up, it's story time. Alright, three news headlines for three interesting unusual news series I've found online. Vaughan and Megan pick one of the following three. Headline one, student discovers ghost.

Headline two, five-year-old quadruple amputee preparing for half marathon. So all four limbs. Yeah. Does that make you feel lazy? 100%. All mine are a count of four.

Have you ever done a half marathon, Megan? No. And you've got all your limbs. Yeah. Just saying. Just saying. I've been doing four half marathons. And headline three, poos in space.

Poos in space. Oh, reallyos in space. Poos in space. Oh, really? Hold on. We are doing some poo-heavy chat later in the hour. You've got the top six coming up, don't you, with seal poo. What's up to you? I want the ghost one. Okay.

Do you want poos in space? Nah. I just want to go home. Isn't there lots of poos and stuff in space? If we're being honest about what we want. Vaughn's had one day off. He's had a taste for it. You know what?

I didn't go to the gym before work today. That's it. That's why. Yeah, it makes you feel... I'm just like... When you're out of your routine. Why did you not? I just had a massive day in the sun yesterday.

Like, I was pretty much in the sun all day, and that just drained me. That was just... My alarm went off. I was like, not today, alarm. Went back to sleep. Look, I might have had a few drinks yesterday too as well. I celebrated my bloody child's birthday.

Child's birthday. I wasn't wanting to be totally honest. It was one of those days where I ate so much I couldn't get drunk. Oh, right. Like I had seven beers and I was just like, I'm sick to drive. But I was at my house so I didn't need to. Yeah, right. Just madness for a Wednesday.

Yeah. Yeah, school night. Okay. All right, so we're going Student Dis didn't need to. Yeah, right. Just madness for a Wednesday. Yeah. Yeah, school night. Okay. All right, so we're going student discovers ghost. Yes, please. You're going. All right, we go to North Carolina now, and a University of North Carolina student thought she had a ghost in her apartment.

In fact, her flatmates as well, roommates, they call them in America, thought there was a ghost as well. Odd handprints left behind on the bathroom wall. Items disappearing from the house from time to time. Okay. They thought, well, that's it. We've got a ghost. Let's recharge the crystals.

The logical. Well, that's, you can't recharge the crystals until the next full moon, so you're just stuck with the ghost. Do crystals get away ghosts? I don't know. Oh, they do everything. Do they?

Do they? Mm. Stomping for seashit. Look, I'm not vaccinating my next child. I'm just going to have a crystal necklace. Okay. Do you want to announce your next child? No.

All right, okay. Thought we'd had a scoop there. Oh, no. We can't have any more children because my wife got measles because she's not vaccinated. Okay. Well, anyway, the student, she came home and that's when she heard something rattling in her closet.

She at first thought it was a raccoon. It's the ghost. And then maybe the ghost. I can't believe ghost was second on her radar. She just thought she'd found one and then she heard rattling and she's like, that'll be a raccoon, be a ghost. I can't believe ghost was second on her radar. She just thought she found one and then she heard rattling and she's like, that'll be a raccoon, be a ghost. In that order. Well, she yelled out, is anyone in there?

And that's when a man's voice replied back and said, oh, hi. Yes, my name's Drew. And she opened the door. She's like, well, it's not a raccoon. What? And it can't be a ghost because it's a man. Well, she opened the closet and She's like, well, it's not a rack. What? And it can't be a ghost because it's a man. Well, she opened the closet, and that's when she found Drew wearing all of her clothes.

Oh, hi, Drew. Her socks and shoes and a bag full of her clothes. Was Drew previously known to you? Occupant. No, I didn't say that he was or that she did know him. She called police. He actually waited there. I that he was or that she did know him. She called police. He actually waited there. I think he was quite cooperative.

And yeah, I think he just wanted, I don't know why, just to order women's clothing online. I don't know if he had a... Very stalkery. It's very you. So he was the handprints and... Yeah, apparently he had been there a few times. What was the handprints to do with?

Oh, no idea. Just grubby, I think. He just had no respect for a mirror. No respect for glass surfaces. Yeah. Wow. Did he just like her style? Oh, yeah.

He looks creepy. I would actually prefer a raccoon. It's a bit messy. Or a ghost. Yeah. Yeah. But yeah, it wasn't a ghost. It's just true.

It can be explained. It's just a weird man. Okay, good. Just liked her style. Mm. F.M. All right, it's just Drew. It can be explained. It's just a weird man. Okay, good. Just like her style. FM. All right, it's another day. So here's your Lime Scooter story of the day. Thank God.

I know, because yesterday I didn't get one. I know. It was a holiday and I got itchy and cold. I saw a lot of Lime Scooters. Did you? Yeah. So many. I didn't even see one.

Everybody riding them out to like Mission Bay. Beautiful day for it. Beautiful day for it. Gorgeous day. The juicers would have had a few to charge overnight. Those are the people that take them in vans and charge them. I see the juicers every morning on my way to work. Put in the back.

Do they get trained like when you drop them off again, you have to put them side by side and turn them? There's a juicer manual. There's a manual. You've got to put them in certain spots. Allocated drop spots. Three or four at once. And they're likeicer manual. There's a manual. You've got to put them in certain spots. Allocated drop spots. Three or four at once. Four.

And they're like perfectly in unison, like turned. So if you get there and you're like, four to go, phew, last stop. You get there and there's already two scooters there. Because of another juicer. Put them somewhere else. You've got to still find a place for another two. It still blows my mind that Auckland and New Zealand are one of the biggest markets for lime in the world. And it's like, was there 250,000 New Zealanders that signed up in all of the country?

Yeah. It'd taken an average of over four rides. So good. Yeah. So, due to lime scooters and the media's fascination with them, us included, but we're all for the good stories.

It's an easy break, isn't it? Yeah. Yeah. And as previously stated, I'm tired and I want to go home. Look, if everyone else who doesn't have a job that broadcasts is allowed to say that, why aren't we?

So from their arrival in New Zealand until now, there's been an 84% increase in searches and hits in the shopping category of scooters. And they said nothing's changed in the push scooter game lately. So they're attributing this to scooters meeting e-scooters. I've had to quit Google because... Because you get one to work every day. Most days, yeah. But then that's the thing.

I get it to work, but I walk home. Because when I walk home, it's busy. Yeah, right. I don't want to drive on the road because it's busy downtown. So it suits being one way, but I have thought about buying one. If I was you, I would. You don't have any other vehicles.

You know, you've got to walk that distance every day. I'd have one. No, it's tempting. It's easy to get up to your house. Bogsy, the CEO, has got one. He's got a couple of flash ones. Loan his one got a couple of Flash ones. Loan his one for a bit. Well, he said he'd loan it for a testy, but I know what they look like.

I see them around. They've got red trims. Is it black? They're kind of ashy grey black. Yeah, they're real cool. Looked matte black. But they're $800, I think. But how much?

Can you see how much you've spent online? I know it won well, that's something I just had to top up this morning. I was like, more money? Yeah. Because it'd be about $2.50 a morning I'd spend on it. A day. Weekdays. Yeah, so that's a cheap coffee. You know, everyone just compares it to the price of a coffee.

That's just a cheap coffee, isn't it? Yeah. There you go, easy. Do it. Do it. Do it. Do it. I don't want to bring it into it because you guys will muck around on it. It's not a toy, isn't it? Yeah. There you go. Easy. Do it. Do it. Do it. Do it. I don't want to bring it into it because you guys will muck around on it.

It's not a toy if I get one. That's why I want you to get one. So, right. What sort of, you know, and you're Googling, have you come across any with any, like, real hot features? Like what? Thumbprint. Like you just started, you've got to activate it with your thumbprint?

No, no. Or is it just stand on it and go? I think you stand, yeah, I don't know how you lock it actually. Is there one that you could lock with an app or something? I think that might come with an app, like a Lime. Right. Yeah. That'd be cool.

Until your phone runs out of batteries and you have to carry home your scooter. I don't want to have to bring my D-Lock everywhere. Your big D-Lock. That one you bought to stop your 747 getting stolen. No, I still use that for my bike. Yeah. And my bike hasn't been stolen since. It's the world's toughest bike lock.

Yeah. Worth every cent that was. It weighs a ton. Megan, don't laugh. I had my bike stolen twice. Yeah. You remember this. Twice. Great weight resistance.

From the ZM Think Tank, this is the Top Six. Good morning to you. There is news. NIWA have reported that in defrosting seal poo, you won't believe what happened next. NIWA, the National Institute of Weather

and Atmospheric Conditions. NIWA. They were in the middle of, because you can tell a lot from marine poo. Yeah. Really old stuff you can tell kind of what the atmosphere was like at the time. Okay. But the newer stuff, maybe, you know, what they're eating, the change of, you know, their diet. Yeah.

So leopardseals.org run a volunteer of scat collectors. I know. When I read it, I was like, that's going to stand for something, but I believe it's just poo. Badass. Yeah. Scat collector. What does that entail?

Just collecting poos and chuck it in the freezer. Or just call it a collector. Just call yourself a collector, a poo collector. So there was a skinny leopard seal in Vikargal. They took a poo sample, packaged it up, froze it, sent it up. That was in November 2017, so one and a bit years ago. Yeah. Is that a good vintage?

It was a wonderful year. Yeah. And they defrosted it, sifted it through there. There's some bones in there, feathers, seaweed, other stuff. And amongst it, a USB stick. Working, working though, working. They said it's really worrying, obviously, the stuff. The poo often does have plastic in it now,

which they said is no good for an animal that spends most of its time in the Antarctic seas, meaning plastic's got down into there. So it's working. Great advertisement, considering it's been eaten through the digestive system, pooed out, frozen, still good. Still good. Great ad for the Seagate USB stick. It's not a Seagate.

God, I had a Seagate one. I knocked it over once and that was it. One of those hard drives, external hard drives. Ponk. It just destroyed itself. Rubbish. So, on there there there's photos of sea lions Kayaking in the Catlins Mother and baby sea lion

And a blue kayak So it could be tourists That have maybe put their photos onto a stick And then dropped it on the beach Snaffled up by this leopard seal Or something that the leopard seal then ate But obviously couldn't digest it. So the top six today is the top six other things

found in seal poo or sea lion poo. Number six, all your missing socks. All of them. Is that where they go? All of them. I've got one out of rotation at the moment. I don't know where it is. It's doing me head in.

Don't believe someone's like, it goes under the agitator. I took the washing machine apart searching for a sock. It wasn't in there. I don't know. I think it must just get wound up in other clothes that barely get worn and then you'll probably find it one day. Number five on the list

of the top six other things found in seal poo, that missing neighbourhood cat. The one that's got the posters up. It's like missing. Tittles. Can you still claim the reward? Would they eat a cat?

Shit, yeah. Oh, okay. Oh, yeah. Right. They were, the opportunity arose. Yeah. They just eat whatever's presented itself. Dogs.

But how do they like eat it when they don't have hands to hold on to the cat, to grab it? Well, they grab it with their sharp teeth and then just death shake it. Right. Until it's dead and then eat it as best they can. Okay. No, I mean, all animals eat and none of them have hands. I just want to put that out there as well. We're literally us apes.

Very minimal creatures have hands, but they all manage to eat. Can you imagine if we had to go hunting with no hands? We'd be screwed. Well, we've evolve to use them. Just saying, if you want to go hunting this weekend, try no hands. Yeah, okay. Even the odds.

Yeah. Number four on the list of the top six other things found in seal poo, your youthful vigour. You wondered what happened to it. Got eaten by a seal. God, you're depressing this morning, aren't you? You have one big night. It wasn't even a big night.

It's just the sun drained me. That's where my usual vigour is so far gone. The sun did this to me. Right. I had sunscreen on, though. Not an ounce of burn on me. Yeah, good. Slip, slop, slap, rap.

Covered, shaded. Let's play this back to you in the middle of winter when you're like, Christ, it's cold. We'll be like, well, you didn't appreciate summer either. The sun got me. Number three on the list of the top six other things found in seal poo, the Apple TV remote. It's so small, you always lose it, don't you?

Have they changed it? Because the one we had was silver and super slippery. No, they're still super slippy. Here I go. Down between the couches is minimal. Loves going between the cushions. Loves minimal. Loves going between the cushions. Loves it. Loves going between the cushions.

Number two on the list of the top six other things found in seal poo. Your favourite T-shirt that you just saw yourself wearing in a photo on Facebook. Memories from today like some years ago. What happened to that T-shirt? I know it didn't get ragged. Yeah. You're like, where'd that go? It's like when we moved and we took our chest of drawers out for the first time.

Yeah. The couple down there, mint condition. And the number one. Were they Volcom? What was Volcom? I was like Volcom Stone because it was my initials. You loved a Volcom T-shirt. I loved a Volcom T-shirt.

In the 2000s. Huge fan of a Volcom T-shirt. I saw one, some guy wearing one the other day. I was like,com t-shirt. I loved a Volcom t-shirt. In the 2000s. Huge fan of a Volcom t-shirt. I saw one, some guy wearing one the other day. I was like, great t-shirt. There's VS on it. I was like, I don't need to buy labels because I've got my initials on it. And the number one in today's top six other things found in seal poo, all of your old MSN messenger conversations.

Imagine if those come back to haunt you. No. No. No. Imagine if for some reason one day they have to be released to your next of kin. Yeah, right. And you're like 80 and your kids are like, I've just been contacted by Microsoft. I've got to apparently, they need someone to take all these MSN conversations. Do it when I'm 80.

I'd be like, burn it. Don't. Don't read what Dad says. You'd probably be in a worse situation than Leon Neson is in right now. He'll be up there. He'll be up there. That is today's Top Sock.

F.M. I've got a story here which could easily be about Producer Caitlin. Oh, really? There is a woman, in fact, it doesn't have her name,

it could be. There's a woman, she's posted an ad asking for someone to make her life decisions for her for 2019. So she's offering 2,000 pounds, like 4,000 New Zealand dollars to the candidate. And she said, look, it would be nice if you were a spiritual guide or a clairvoyant, because then obviously it would help you make decisions for me. Oh my God.

But she had a terrible 2018. So over the last 12 months. Look who she believes in that nonsense. She lost money by misplacing trust in an old friend. She was stranded abroad without any money. She was in a toxic relationship. She was mugged and she says there was lots of other things that she could name. Oh, she's giving me anxiety

already. She sounds very unorganised. She's like, I've had a bad year. I trusted the wrong people. Any clairvoyants out there who want my money? Well, she says she's always been a spiritual person and she's sought out external guidance before and she seems to think it's worked

for her. I could do this. Yeah, me too. For $4,000. You're not a medium. I'd read the horoscopes on the way and give her that sort of broad-scoped nonsense every day. She'd lap it up. Well, she'd be like,

should I give money to this friend? I'm like, no. You know who does need money? Me. That's 40 bucks. Your correct grandma said so. But you all know these people that are very indecisive. that's 40 bucks your crack bone said so but we we would you all know

these people that are very indecisive can't make a decision with anything I'd say you guys aren't like that or you make terrible yeah

no I'm pretty decisive but you know even just like where should we go for dinner you know those kind of yes and they just can't decide

you have to come up with these ideas yeah I feel like more like serious decisions wouldn't it oh'd be like more like serious decisions, wouldn't it? Oh, okay. But then how many serious decisions do you make in a day? Oh, that many.

Like what am I going to wear? What am I going to eat? So does she want to help with that sort of stuff? What am I going to wear? Or it's more the bigger stuff? It's only for like a full week period. So that's $4,000. And then I guess she's going to like figure out if it's worth it after that. That's $1,000 and then I guess she's going to figure out if it's worth it

after that. That's $1,000 a week in New Zealand to make someone's... I'd do that. I could tell someone what to do for $4,000 for a month. Exactly. There's no outcome that will affect you. You're getting paid anyway. Yeah. Have some fun with it. You get fired though if it doesn't go well.

That's right. You've got $4,000. So Megan, you're a home region experiencing some fires. Yeah, a big fire. So what's the latest something I heard in the news was that it may have been sparked by a farmer ploughing the field. So how does that make sense? Actually, I don't know if it was ploughing the field. No, they said it was working.

So when the grass is super dry, How does that make... Actually, I don't know if it was plowing the field. Well, no, I think they said it was doing... No, they said it was working. So when the grass is super dry, you're towing through the ground big metal blades and they hit stones and they just spark. That was my question is how does that start a fire? It's the same with people like mowing hay and stuff. Yeah. If there's stones in there, when they're mowing, if the blade hits a stone and the grass is dry,

it can just spark a fire like that. And just, it all depends on how dry it is. But that's accidental, right? Like you can't get in trouble for that. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. But it's always a big thing about farmers when, or when you've cut the hay and it's on the ground and it's drying and they go around,

I think it's called tethering it. That's what we always call it. Flipping it over so all the grass dries. Right. If it hits a stone and you've obviously just got this tinder dry grass there, it can go up and you could burn your whole. Great farming knowledge, Morn.

Great farming knowledge. Thank you. Just growing up on the farm made it worth it. Just with this one voice break. About sparking fires. Hey, but what an amazing job by the firefighters and everyone involved. Any time there's a fire, firefighters are legends. Like every time there's any sort of fire,

volunteer fire brigades and people who just, you know, take time off ordinary work to get out there and then the professionals, yeah, they can't fault them. They're good, bloody good people. Did I read that a helicopter

scooped water out of a swimming pool? Correct. Or did they put a pump into a swimming pool? No, the monsoon bucket did a swimming pool. No, yes, but monsoon buckets get water from wherever they can in that situation. Imagine you're just in your back garden and a helicopter comes down and steals off your water.

Who would you bill for the chlorine and stuff? Because you'd need to get your levels back. Yeah, but balancing your pool chemicals is a very fine art. It's for the greater good. I'd want everybody to know. That you did some charity. That I did it, yeah. Oh, actually, I'm's for the greater good. I want everybody to know. That you did some charity. That I did it. Oh, actually, I'm looking at the pool here.

It's not clean or anything. Oh, right. I think someone's not been really caring for it. Okay, so they probably did them a favor. Yeah, probably actually did. Because they wouldn't need to clean it out anyway. But another story was a Nelson firefighter was getting married. And during the ceremony, which was at the fire station in Richmond,

the alarm went off for the fire that broke out on Rabbit Island. Okay. So they were in the middle of their, they'd just actually finished their vows of what they were promising each other. And then the siren went off and one of the wedding guests had to leave because they worked on the fire brigade. It's still called a brigade? Fire brigade.

The fire brigade. Fire service. Yeah, the fire service. So the local fire service, one of the guests had to leave. And then other people arrived to man and fee man the trucks. Yeah. To staff the trucks. Yeah.

And awkwardly, some of them were firefighters but not invited to the firefighters' wedding. So I had to come through in their yellow coats and be like, congratulations. By the way, I hope you enjoy it. And did the groom have to leave? Or no, he had a day off. No, I don't believe he had to leave, no.

Awkward. But then you wouldn't invite everyone here from work if you got married tomorrow, would you? Well, when I did get married, I invited people I worked with that I wouldn't invite now, so... It's just one of those things.

Yeah. You look back on these things and you're like, wouldn't now, Lucky your wife's good at Photoshop. Oh, we can have them removed. Yeah. Have a second one

and then you get a second go at inviting guests. Just like, there you go. That's a great idea. Yeah. I mean, but like, I didn't know people who I would invite now.

Yeah. I didn't know them at the time. Like Caitlin, James and Anna, I could just Photoshop their heads onto the bodies of the people that I invited that I wouldn't invite now. Yeah. That'd be good. That'd work. Anyway, enough about that.

The fires are, I think, mostly under control now. That sounds like they're under control because they've had a bit of precipitation. Yeah, which is good. But yeah, thanks to the firefighters. Oh, great job. It's pretty close to my brother's house as well. They could see the orange glow and lots of smoke and stuff. So yeah, really close to lots of houses.

It's pretty scary. Let's see if we can give away some cash. Stop everything. Call now to win with ZM's secret sound. 0800-DIAL-ZM. Free and cleanse. Beat the bull. Stay on the line to win big.

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Normal credit criteria, TCs and fees apply. Fuel up at Caltex today and get a remarkable 10 cents off per litre of fuel. There are new emojis coming. 280 of them, apparently. Too many? Yeah, because like you said, sometimes it's hard to scroll to find the one you want. I always like the full-blown, you know, the full-blown bawling face one. Yeah.

With the tears streaming down the face. That one was very hard to spot for me when I'm like scrolling sideways through. Well, if you can write what it is, then it'll pop up in your predictive text. Well, I don't know. Crying? You just tried it. Crying. So some of the new ones include guide dogs.

Yeah, because there was disability-approved ones like guide dogs. Yeah, because there was disability approved ones like guide dogs and assistance dogs. Right. Flamingo's on there now, which is great to see Flamingo joining Flamingo and other animals that definitely deserve their own emoji by now. Sloth. Oh yeah.

Otter. Oh, cute. The otter one's real cute. Orangutan and skunk. Okay. Yeah. The otter one's real cute. Orangutan and skunk. Okay. Yeah. Some of the other ones, food-wise, we've got onion and garlic have been added to the situation. Waffle. Yep.

Waffle's on there now. Skydiving. A hiver's vest, an interesting one. Like, literally, like, an orange hiver's vest with the reflective stripes. Right. Has been added. I'm not quite sure what that can be. I mean, people in maybe road working and stuff have been asking for it.

May as well it's here. There looks to be a new temple. I don't know what religious denomination that falls under, but it's very temple-esque looking. Okay. There's a plaster, a cutthroat razor. Oh, yeah. An axe.

What else have we got here? A banjo. That looks to be the only musical instrument added to it. Tuk-tuk added to the transportation. Okay. A couple of wheelchairs and a stick for people who are visually impaired. You know, the stick, the guide stick there. Most of them, there's like a million new

couples, eh? Yeah. What do you mean, like different kind of mixes? Interracial couples. Right, okay. Yeah, interracial couples on the list. I like that. There's a yawning face and a pinching hand, so you might be like, just a little bit, you know when you're like, a little bit, and you

indicate with your forefinger and your thumb. Or it's this big. Yeah, yeah, exactly. So it's like they'll put it in saying it's pinching, but it's not. How was last night? Little. Little eggplant. That's what it's going to be used for.

Definitely far more likely to be used. And a whole bunch of different, you know how they've got coloured hearts, coloured circles and coloured squares? Yep. So those are all going to be, there's a whole lot of new ones coming in of different colours. Oh, okay. So you've got to select that and then choose the colour. Yes. Right.

Yep, that looks to be what's going on there. Okay. Yesterday, that's just emoji chat. Is there a release date? Soon-ish. It's this year. Okay. It's 2019.

But it'll probably be later on in the year You know how they do this They do They like to tease you Guys have got a bit of a plan And then everyone's like Oh wow that's I'm 100% looking forward to the day I can use a waffle emoji

And then And then they make you wait till August Yeah Real ultimate long tease F.E.M. F.E.M. Yesterday It was Indy's birthday

And we had a family Barbecue And Sade went overboard As per She's not listening So I can say that I was like Do we need all this She just said

Just a family Yeah But it's good hosting You know You don't want people To be left wanting She's a wonderful hostess But I grew up

Where my mother Hated hosting And when she had to Did the bare minimum So And she never worried about it Whereas Sade gets herself all worried about it.

She's a modern day anxious hostess. What's she going to be like with your fire festival birthday party? Ah, well, the best part is

she doesn't know that it's a fire festival. So, we'll end up like the fire festival. We'll turn up and there'll be cheese sandwiches. We've decided to have us a camping

in Vaughan's backyard. Yeah. It's going to be the fire festival. I'm not camping, by the way. Oh, yuck. Go home then. You'll be like one of those kids that got there really early to the fire festival.

I'm going to sleep inside. See, you are not sleeping inside. Andy and Augie will be outside, won't they? You're not sleeping inside. Yes. Absolutely not. No guests in the host house. So, we had chili bins and stuff out with drinks and stuff in them.

And there was no room in the fridge for the meat. So that had its own chili bin. And she bought some bags of ice. And I tore open the bags of ice when they were in the chili bin and just dunked my hand in and chucked it in a drink and then filled up a cup and then filled up the cup. And nothing was said. But then later on in the day when we were doing the dishes,

we did the dishes together last night, which was real cute because it wouldn't all fit in the dishwasher. And I think every couple should do that. It was my granddad said to me, I'll never forget. He's like, always wash the dishes together. It gives you a good chance for some chat. You're not distracted by the tally. It's just wash, dry, chat.

We do that with like pots and pans. Yeah. But generally just one of us washes it and then you just leave it to drip dry and someone else puts it away. But there was so much that would have filled the bench. We did it together. Lovely time.

I just set the dishwashers up on the dishes on the sink because I don't want to empty the dishwasher. My relationship with myself is going great. And then you're like, well, should we take this to the bedroom, please? And you're like, I was already there, mate.

We were reading each other's minds. Let's get in there. We'll do the dishes later. You've been so helpful today, Fletch. You've been. All those chores you did. The way you're ignoring that pile of dishes is really turning me on, Fletch. Thanks, Fletch.

I knew you'd like that. You did. So we were washing the dishes together and this is where the chat came up. She's like, you know the ice that you put in your drink today? I saw you grab a handful out of that bag. She's like, I don't think that's for drinks. I think that's just chili bean ice, isn't it? And I was like, what are you talking about?

And she said, the party ice. Is that for drinks? I've always considered that as you You buy specific ice for that. No, but you're talking about the ice you just get from a servo in a bag. You open the freezer and you grab out like three bags. You, um... And it's like party ice. I'm not talking salted ice for fishing.

I know that's different. I've accidentally put that in a drink once and I was like, what is wrong with this? No, I do that all the time. I just put a bag in the sink and you rip it open if you're having a party and then you take it out. So she said there's like, she's seen ones that it says like purified frozen ones and she considered that was the ice one.

Otherwise, you don't know. It's all good. I've never even looked. But it doesn't say not for drinking on it. Exactly. I've never been sick. But it doesn't say like chuck this in your drink. It just says party ice. It's not good. I've never even looked. But it doesn't say not for drinking on it. Exactly. I've never been sick. But it doesn't say, like, chuck this in your drink. It just says party ice.

It's very vague. And so she panicked me for, like, years. I've been eating toilet water ice. We're in New Zealand. There's no bad ice, right? I mean, there's the salted fishing ice. You don't want that. But apart from that, it's all good ice.

I mean, if I was in Thailand, maybe. You'd tread more lightly on the ice. You'd be careful of, you know, what you were putting into your drink. Yeah. No, you're fine. Yeah. Well, this was what worried me. I know.

And we chatted and she's like, I've seen ones specifically that say, like, purified. And I think those are the ones. To me. I've been doing this. I'll even grab it out of it. Like, if you open the bag and pour it into a chili bin. Yeah. I'll even grab it out of it like if you open the bag and pour it into a chilli bin I'll even grab that stuff

yeah same see I'm not okay with that I'd eat it out of the bag but you're getting it out of like being soaked in with the bottles and stuff and chilli bins

never get cleaned properly they always have a fishy smell when you open them and I've never even stored fish in here but 10 drinks in you're not worried about that nah you're not

and you need ice because you're running out of ice and you've eaten two and a half kgs of chicken wings, so diarrhea would actually probably be pretty good to get that whole thing moving. Yeah, pretty much.

But yeah, we talk and I've never even considered it. But now I'm going to... What, buy purified ice? I'm just going to keep... But it's all the same. Isn't there only one brand or one or two brands?

Nah, there's multiple brands. And that's the other thing. These people are making bloody cash money. What? What? What? No, did you? Is that chicken wings

coming out of your butthole right now? Yeah, that part I just did was pretty meat heavy. I took some activated charcoal this morning because I knew it was going to be a bad one.

It wasn't that much meat I had yesterday. Let me run it through. Let me run you through it. Chicken wings. Yeah. Steak. Chicken sausage. I had half steak chicken sausage

I had half a chicken sausage wasn't massive on that spicy I had a spicy sausage a Tex-Mex sausage that was pretty bloody good actually

ribs which I nailed everyone said love these ribs I was like my absolute pleasure risoles yep and

borscht one of them South African curly and you wonder why vegan listeners aren't tuning in in droves. You need a juice cleanse by the smell of that. It's worse when you go heavy on the juice. Oh, horrible. That is horrible.

But yeah, I don't know. Those party ice people are making lots of money, I reckon. Because they're just making ice and then we're all saying we're buying them. I'd say you're fine You're fine to eat it Have people texted in about this What are they saying Somebody said They've worked in bars

And the bar That they were working in Didn't have An ice maker They just literally Would go out and buy Those bags All those bags of ice

Oh yeah At the start of the night And use it in drinks They just pour it into that Well they have behind the bar Easy Sort it Okay that's all right then.

I'll take this knowledge home and pass it on. Next on the show, it started with Megan having never taken a bus by herself, a public bus. And now I have. And now you have. Not since, though. And, you know, we talked about this on air and we asked, is there anything that you've never done?

A lot of people having never eaten certain types of food? Or never done things that most people do every day? So we decided we would start a new segment called Never Ever Have I. I have never. I have never. Why is it called here Never Ever Have I? Someone's written that. Oh, that's Caitlin.

Never have I ever. That's like the game, Caitlin. You never played that. I have never. I have never. Never have I ever. I have never ever. Why did played that. I have never. I have never. Never have I ever. I have never ever. Why did you just decide to blame me?

Because I've got a boyfriend. You're jealous. We've decided that every time Caitlin brings up her boyfriend, we're doing the in-between. And that took you literally five seconds to mention. Somebody's jealous. And we have decided to launch I Have Never. So I had never ridden on a bus before.

Well, a public bus where you have to get on and pay. A public bus where you have to catch a, yeah. Yeah, you've been on a party bus. Yes. You experienced such joy when you did this. I made a temporary friend. It was great. Let's share this extremely concentrated joy with other people who have never done something. And we put it out there last week.

Like, what? Is there something that you've never done or never tried? And just even the foods that people haven't tried. Blew my mind. Yeah. So many people coming in with suggestions and things that they've never done, including Monica. Monica, I have never what?

I have never been down a water slide. Oh, you haven't. Oh, yeah. I love hydro slides. Monica, why? Are you scared or you've just never been to a theme park or a water park? I've been to a theme park, but I've never actually gone down a slide. I think I'm just way

too chicken. Oh, that just blows my mind. That just blows my mind. And Monica joins us on the phone now. Good morning, Monica. Hi, Monica. Hi, guys. So we've decided to make this a regular feature and we'll just see how it goes.

Where we, I guess it's like a dreams come true segment, really, isn't it? Not really. Because people probably haven't done these things because they're scared of them. Yeah, I've always dreamed of being pushed down a water slide. And careening down a plastic tube filled with water. Well, push will hopefully be the final straw.

We're hoping to encourage you down the water slide, but we will push you if need be. Because we are going to take you to a water slide. And we are going to be with you for the very first time that you hydroslide. Oh, that sounds so exciting. One of us will maybe go on a green light and then you go in the middle green light

and then the last one, Taylor and Charlie, will go on the last green light. Oh, I won't wait for the green light. You son of a gun. I'll come careening down. You can't. She's terrified. Imagine if she's going out for the first time and you're coming in hot behind.

Well, do you even know what the green lights and stuff are, Monica? Yeah, yeah. I've seen it on movies. And traffic lights. Yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah. Traffic lights. Generally the whole green light meaning go, red light meaning stop, not go,

things universally accepted outside of hydroslides. You're a hydroslide virgin. I don't know what you know about hydroslides. But that's for separation, minimum separation. And generally, you're not allowed to bank up the water, eh? Oh, they hate that. They hate that. The one in Nelson.

There's a sign, isn't there? It's a key to a good start. Yeah, no, it is. You want to fill in as much of that gap as you can. Oh, my God, Monica, you'll find all this out. This is just going to be great. So do you think you'll be scared? A little bit.

I'm a little bit nervous, but I'm sure it'll be fun. Can you swim? Yeah, I can swim. I mean, that's not a worry because I was thinking maybe that's maybe what stopped you doing hydro slides in the first place. But the pools at the bottom generally you can touch the bottom. Very shallow, aren't they? They're pretty shallow, aren't they? Yeah.

All right. Well, we're going to take you to a hydro slide after the show, Monica. And yeah, we'll be there and we'll bring all the audio tomorrow on the show. Of Monica's first. Of Monica's first. If you've got something you've never done that is like a conversation starter with people,

like it comes up, like, oh, I've never actually been on a hydro slide. People are like, what? And maybe we can help you out. Well, it doesn't even, even just a food you've never tried.

Just anything. Anything you've never done. Yeah, send us a message on our Facebook page. I was going to say you can register at IHaveNever at ZMOnline.com now. Brilliant. I just got a message from the producer saying that any entries via our Facebook page. I was going to say you can register at IHaveNever at ZMOnline.com now.

Brilliant. I just got a message from the producer saying that any entries via our Facebook page if Fletch mentions that which they predicted you would will be rejected.

It's a wee power play going on. If you can't find that entry form though flick us a message on our Facebook page and we'll send you a link to it. What is that link?

What's that site again, Vaughan? That is ZMOnline.com. Do I need to say.com? No, the registration page that you just mentioned. Well, no, ZMOnline.com slash something something. Apparently, it's very easy to find. It's not hard, though. Screaming at me now in capital letters on the chat machine.

Just ZMOnline. FEM. ZM. easy to find. It's not hard. They're screaming at me now in capital letters on the chat machine. Just send them online. Fleek's Warner Megan's Secret Sound is coming up at 8 o'clock. You've got a bit of snot on your nose. I only just, I wanted to tell you because I just had a little bit and I could feel something there. I saw it and I didn't, yeah it's gone.

Yeah it's gone now. Well thank you for telling me Vaughn. Unlike you Megan, you are relegated to bottom favourite out of everyone here. Ross and Caitlin were both just in here. They probably saw it too, for the record. And didn't say anything. And didn't say anything. Did you not say anything about my booger, Caitlin? No, I think it's a...

When did you see it? I only just saw it. No, I saw it. I didn't see it. Sorry. She was too busy talking about her boyfriend. Sorry. True story.

Sorry. So, MSN, not MSN Messenger, the bell's very distracting. And what the bell indicates is also distracting. Facebook Messenger have finally released an unsend option on messengers that you send via Facebook Messenger. So for people that use WhatsApp, it's pretty much exactly the same. If you delete a message that you've sent on WhatsApp, it says a person has deleted a message

and it deletes from their inbox and yours. But it says, it tells them that you've deleted a message. Yes. So like if you wake up in the morning, like a Sunday morning or something, and it says someone's removed a message, I would 100% message them and be like, what was it?

I think you'd follow up and say, oh, whoops, this is what I meant to say or something. Yeah. No one's believing that. No one's believing that. But here's the catch. With Facebook Messenger,

you've only got 10 minutes to delete that message. After that, it's there forever. Right. So drunk messages when you wake up. I don't know. Too late. Too late. But also, I have message preview on for Facebook Messenger.

So if someone messages you. Do you? Yeah, when it pops up on your lock screen, you can see the first. Send a message in the group chat and then delete it. And I'll see if it. If it pops up, if it changes from preview. If it deletes from preview. Oh, yeah, that's a good thing.

So, yeah, you've got 10 minutes, I believe. Just write anything, Megan. What are you writing? I'm like, yeah, just send that in an emoji. F you, Fletch. Okay, now delete it. And I can see this on lock screen preview. Yeah.

Have you deleted it? I have. It's gone. Oh, that I have. It's gone. Oh, that's good. It's gone. That's good. So if you delete instantly, it will go away from the lock screen. Okay, well, that's good to know.

Yeah. You've got to have the latest update for Facebook Messenger on your phone to get this. And is it only iOS at the moment or is it Android as well? It must be both. Oh, I'd imagine it's both. You don't know. Okay. The great news. They'll just tell us they've had it for six months. Yeah, I'd imagine it's both. You don't know. Okay. Great news.

They'll just tell us they've had it for six months. Yeah. That's what Samsung users do. No, that's been official on Samsung for six months. We just don't go on about these things. We know we've got a superior. Yeah. We're wondering this morning, though, when did you need this?

When did this feature really? Oh, yeah. When could it have come in handy? Its absence let you down. When could this have been? Oh, yeah. When could it have come in handy? Its absence let you down. When could this have been invented earlier? Okay, so when did you send a Facebook messenger message, Facebook message, and wish you could have deleted it? Like you can now.

Like the heat of the moment arguments with your partner. You send something, the minute you send it, you're like, oh, no. Or you're drunk. You're drunk and you send a message, producer Caitlin. Not that you do this now. I don't do it anymore. Why don't you do it anymore? Oh, because I've got a boyfriend boy?

Yeah, yeah. It's actually good. It saved me from lots of embarrassment. Have you ever seen a message and wish you could have? Every weekend. On Messenger? Yeah. I find Messenger, if you're having multiple conversations,

it's hard because you might write the wrong message to the wrong person. I've been caught out by that, but they weren't bad messages.

Like I wasn't talking about someone and wish, but quite often it's like, you know, you're talking about someone to your friends,

but you might accidentally message them. All the time. And we all, through the show, we all have groups that exclude one person. So we've got like

a no Fletch group, a no Vaughan group. Oh, the no Megan group. You didn't mention that, did you? No, because that doesn't exist. You don't need that. No, it does. It's got a big cross emoji. Yeah, so is yours.

It's a cross over your face. All right, well, 0800Diles.im, give us a text as well, 9696. When did you wish you could take back a messenger message? Like you can now. Give us a call. Talking about those times you've sent a Facebook message in Messenger and you wish you could have deleted it. Like you can now.

It's a new feature. You've got 10 minutes to delete it. You've got to act promptly though. Don't do that thing where you're doing something and then you fall asleep and you wake up and your phone's on your face and you're like, uh-oh. Some text messages in on when you wish

you could take them back. This is very embarrassing, which is a great, any great start to a story. I was messaging someone back after not seeing them in 10 years and I was doing

voice to text in the car. Yeah. So naturally, I was talking like a robot, but it was actually recording a voice message, not translating it into text. Like, hello.

And it sent as soon as I took my finger off the button, I tried to delete it. But it only deleted it off my end. And I was like, phew, that's the last I'd heard of it. And then I get a message back and it's just laughing and laughing. And this person saved it off and showed everybody. Oh, embarrassing. It became like my thing for a little while.

Lisa, when did you wish you could take back a message? So at the time, I'd just started going out with a mutual friend. Okay. And I went to send him an e-postcard that said, nice pants, can I test the zipper? Can I test the zipper? It went to the worst possible person. Oh, no.

My ex-husband. Oh, no. Ay-yi-yi-yi-yi-yi-yi. And then it just stood up the year before, and we've got kids together, so I do talk to him a lot. Oh, no. Oh, God, I'm just imagining if that was me. He can't expect you to not be engaging in flirtatious behaviour.

He knew. It was just really awkward because it was a mutual friend of ours. And also you just don't want to be saying that to your ex anymore. Yeah, yeah. Hey, but now if that happens, Lisa, you can take it back within 10 minutes. I can delete it and then he'll get him going, what was that? Exactly. Just be like, oops, nothing.

Hey, thanks you, Lisa. Some other text messages. This happened to me last week. I sent a dirty message meant for my husband. Sent it to a study friend instead. She's a mother, around 40 years old. I panicked and tried to delete it. Of course, that didn't work.

I can't believe this feature came out a week too late to save me from an announcement. I know, like literally days later. Because you know the other thing is if you're going to go send a photo, you get the grid of photos. It's quite easy to accidentally send the wrong photo, isn't it? Yes.

I always pause. You know when a photo pops up in your thing, you just pause. And then you kind of just really slowly scroll up lightly so you don't accidentally look down. Somebody else said, I was drunk and I thought I should tell my boyfriend that in the very early days of our relationship I cheated on him. So I told him and then fell asleep and woke up and I was like,

it's over, it's done, it's over. But I wish I could have taken it back because it was just a slight kink in the road, slight pothole. Just I felt I needed to get it off my chest so we could move forward. But yeah, he moved forward, just down a different road. Right.

So there's that. But then, you know, that happened and you admitted to it. So are you a better person? Probably not. I don't know. It's my second year, second Valentine's Day married.

Yeah. And I have a question. Oh, yeah. This time. Okay, thank Valentine's Day married. Yeah. And I have a question. Oh, yeah. This time. Okay, thank you for the clarification. And so I have a little question to ask because last year we were like no presents. Which I actually meant. You've married, you've locked it in now.

Yeah. Yeah. No presents. And he bought me flowers, which technically are presents. It's breaking the rules. Yeah. And then I felt bad because I didn't get him anything. Yeah, but that's the greatest power that men can wield in a relationship.

Saying no presents, then getting you a present and having you in negatives. Yeah. Literally, in my experience in relationship and marriage thus far That's the greatest power we ever wield Because you'll claw it back 100% Within hours But this year we did the same thing

We're like we're not going to do presents But now I'm like does that mean He's going to get me flowers or something Because I don't want to be on the back foot I don't want him to be in credit. I want it to be even. Could you have something like, I don't know, like a fragrance or something, like tucked away, hidden?

A just-in-case present. A just-in-case present is a great idea to have full stop. And then just use it for his birthday or for something else. Fletch? Yeah, you're welcome. That's a great relationship hack. Yeah. And just if great relationship hack. Yeah. And just if you ever forget.

Yeah. Wow. I know. And it could be one that we get sent free from work. Speaking of which, I was sent some Jo Malone. This is, by the way, I don't buy fragrances. I just wait till I get sent some. Yeah.

Because they send you them hoping you'll talk about them. And this is working. And this is exactly worked because it says, we hope you find enclosed the Jo Malone London Clone Intense Collection bronze, wood and leather. Now that's my fragrance. Bronze, wood and leather? Yeah.

If I was made of materials, it would be those three materials. Rich, like not genuine leather, like top end leather. Yeah, someone's, you're more of a faux leather, but okay. Oh, leather. Somebody stole it. Pleather. Somebody stole it in the office. I know.

You've got the car, but not the product. But this is what I'm saying. That would make a great emergency present. Yeah, great emergency present. So this is my question, and we've actually got a poll up on our Instagram right now. How long has this been up for? A few hours.

And a lot of people have voted on this. So you'd say this would be, it's not going to change much from this. No. You wouldn't think so. So this is like in a relationship or marriage. It says if you're in a long-term relationship, do you still need to buy presents? For Valentine's Day.

For Valentine's Day. Did you expect this response? No. I didn't. Not at all. No, I would have thought it would have been the other way around. 62% of people said no. You don't need to buy a present for someone you're in a long-term relationship with for Valentine's Day.

62% of people in trouble. Yeah, an emergency present. Yeah, just in case. So what do you do? Because it's your Shade's birthday is the very next day. So we might do, I know it's great. No, is that dangerous mixing? Nah.

She's just used to it now. Yeah. But then do you have to do double? Like, you know, like a boxing day or a Christmas baby? Do twice. You know, they get upset with their birthday and Christmas. No. Being combined?

No, no. So do you do nothing on Valentine's Day? Oh, we might do something. What day is it this year? Thursday. It's a week today. It's a week today. Oh, we might like do a lunch.

Okay, like a yum cha. Oh, that'd be great actually. Sexy. Yeah, because that's people are like, oh, that's not very romantic but you should see her face light up

when I tell her about dim sum. She loves it. She loves it. Yeah, absolutely loves it. So, and the little dessert pancakes, the mango pancakes. Oh, yeah, yeah.

Ice cream dumplings. Ice cream ball. Yeah. See what I'm talking about? I just love making food. You've been married a long time. No, it's not, because you fall when you leave. Yeah, that's how I like to make love, fall. A lot of that noise.

Oh, God. Mid-afternoon in the heat. Two leopard seals. Oh, stop. Please, I hope she's not listening and I just competed to a leopard seal. You know, Aunty, if you're listening, you're one of the sexy seals. Oh, stop. Please, I hope she's not listening and I just competed for a leopard seal. You know, Aunty, if you're listening, you're one of the sexy seals. Yeah. Like, what are those little white furry ones in the Antarctic?

They're so cute. The ones that get clubbed. Yeah. I want to have a little chat about the Instagram egg. The very famous egg that broke the record for Kylie Jenner's most liked pic. What's the latest on the likes situation? 52 million likes for world underscore record underscore egg. No one's beating that.

Wasn't her record like 18 million? Yeah, I think, or 21? Something around that. That's blown it out of the world. Well, the egg has finally been revealed. And apparently this was the plan from the start. Which I'm kind of like, is it? Was it?

I think once it got like, once it broke the record and got successful, they came up with the plan, surely. You reckon the plan was posthumous? When it became successful, I was like, here we go. We're going to be bombarded with, buy this cup and it's got an egg on it and merchandise and we'll be spammed with all kinds of rubbish. Yeah, but that's not what it was. Actually, what ended up happening was pretty good, I think.

Okay. It's a pretty good outcome for the egg. The egg uploaded a few more photos, a couple with cracks in it. One for the Super Bowl, it made it look like a football with the sewing down the side, the stitching, and then some more cracks appeared. And it turned out being an ad for the American Mental Health Foundation, which was basically saying the egg had begun cracking under the pressures of social media.

And it understands that social media can put a lot of extra pressure on you. So if you've started to crack, talk to someone. It was a mental health awareness ad. Quite a good way to go. You've got to tip your hat to that. It's an incredibly important message. Because you know, everybody's putting their best life on Instagram, aren't they? Nobody's putting up the bad stuff.

Not like a flawless egg, but a few cracks started to show and they said they don't always show, but if they are, if you're feeling them and if you can see them in yourself, have a chat to somebody. Don't be embarrassed about not being okay, which is a great message. So good. Yeah.

And 10 million people follow that egg on Instagram now. Right. So it's a lot of people seeing that message. I wonder if it will post any more or that's the end of the egg. No. And is it now the campaign for mental health awareness? Should be. The account.

The egg. Yeah, well. Apparently an ad executive started this whole thing. So he's got to score a job for life now. Oh, yes. Going to be able to rest on his laurels of the guy that created the Instagram egg for sure. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Instagram egg for sure. Today's fact of the day.

We hark back to a story on the New York Times from 1998. Oh, okay. So this must have been really early days New York Times posting articles on the internet. Okay. Occasionally you'll get an old story and you'll click on it and it'll be from like the Herald in 2003. You'll be like, oh, old school. Heck, this is old school. But 1998, 21 years ago.

Okay. This story came from. There has been a recall in a batch of pencils. Okay. After a fourth grade student pointed out an embarrassing message that appeared after he sharpened his pencil too much. We were just talking about sharpening pencils before with secret sounds. Someone thought it was a pencil sharpener.

It's not a pencil sharpener. Even the extended secret sound, which Ross Boss didn't want us to hear all of. Not a pencil sharpener. Not a pencil sharpener. Not a pencil sharpener. It's been ruled out. Definitely not a pencil sharpener. Well, he was popping up to the teacher's table to sharpen his pencil after they recently

had a visit from an anti-drug... You know when you're at school, a play would come around and tell you about how bad drugs were? Yeah. Well, when they came and they did the performance and they said drugs are no good and don't even start drugs once,

you know, too many times. Yep. Doing it once, too many times. Well, they gave them all pencils that said too cool to do drugs. Okay. And when it was sharpened down, the message became cool to do drugs. Oh, yeah. And then when you got it shorter, it simply said, do drugs.

Do drugs. Yes. So when this 10-year-old student, Cody, raised this issue, there was a cross-platform recall of all of the pencils issued by the At-Risk Youth Bureau. Right. They said, we didn't even think about it, to be totally honest. We should have done it

around the other way so that the drugs disappeared first. Yep. Not the don't do drugs. Too cool to do drugs became do drugs.

Should have done it the other way around. What was that airline when they opened the door? One of the aircraft doors that said a swear word. Yeah. Was it Thomas Cook?

And then it turned into yeah swear word. Yeah. Was it Thomas Cook? And then it turned into, yeah, yeah. Yeah, okay. Just slightly, should have shuffled that down the plane a bit more. Yeah, a little bit more. Away from a door. I love seeing a door open on a bus and it changes the word written on the outside. It's great, isn't it? Especially when it's naughty.

Yeah, but it wasn't telling kids to do drugs. Yeah. So today's fact of the day is in 1998 there was a pencil recall because too cool to do drugs became do drugs when the pencil was sharpened. Fact of the day, day, do, do, do. Fletch. Vaughan. And Megan. The podcast. Sam. British morning television's done what all morning TV and radio shows have done and just been really keen for some content.

Yep. So they had on Pascal Selick, who's 49 years old. Okay. And British. The rest of the story, it really seems like it would be better if at this stage I introduced her as 28-year-old Japanese student someone someone because then it would be kind of cute. Yeah, right.

And eclectic of a Japanese 20-something was doing it. For some reason, when it's a 49-year-old British woman, you're like, that's a bit creepy. Lost a bit of its cute. So she's getting married. She's getting married, yeah. She's getting married to her duvet. It's her most intimate and reliable relationship.

That's true. It's probably the most intimate and reliable for a lot of people. Is it heartbreaking when she has to put the duvet in the wash? Well, that's the thing. Is she in love with the duvet cover or just the duvet in it? Or is it a combination of the both? And then duvet covers don't last forever because, as you say, you put them in the wash. But is it a duvet if it's sewn in it a combination of the both and then like duvet covers don't last forever because as you say, you put them in the wash.

But is it a duvet if it's sewn in? Because that's a quilt. Yeah, that's a much harder situation to clean. Much harder. But even after all this exposure, she's only got 82 followers on Instagram. And 28 likes on a photo of her in her duvet.

It must be heartbreaking to put your engagement photo on Facebook and on Instagram and only get 28 likes. That's got to hurt a little bit. But then it got other people commenting on the story and on Twitter saying that she's got the right idea, I want to marry my slippers. Because even before I read those comments, I was immediately like, well, inanimate objects that you have to marry. I know it's new on the scene, but I married my roid on lawnmower.

Absolute babe. That's so creepy. I've spent a lot of time on the mower lately. It's great. Oh, we've got to do this then. We've got to take some calls. I'd marry my bath. Your bath. My bath. But you can't take your bath with you.

No, that's true. Or you're just marrying the idea of... And how do you have the ceremony? And then I'd cheat on my bath. What would you... Your bath. My bath. But you can't take your bath with you. Like, if you leave that... No, that's true. Or you're just marrying the idea of... And how do you have the ceremony? And then, like, I'd cheat on my bath with other baths. Other baths, yeah. You come back from a weekend away with work, and the bath's like, I can smell it on you. You've been in a hot pool, haven't you?

Yeah. I thought I was the only thing that held hot water that you were interested in soaking in. Well, you lied to me, and this marriage is built on a bed of lies. Maybe at the moment I'd marry my fan. But that's not even winter. Is your fan just your summer fling as a fan?

No, because you need to get an air conditioning unit then because it can go hot in winter and cold in summer. I'd marry a heat pump. Yes. What brand? I don't know. I don't know the brands well enough. Fujitsu. I'd marry a heat pump. Yes. What brand? I don't know. I don't know the brands well enough. Fujitsu.

Fujitsu. Daikin. Hitachi. Is that one? I don't know. They do power tools, don't they? I don't know. Do they not do...

They might do a heat pump. Hitachi. Panasonic. No, Panasonic do a heat pump. Panasonic do a heat pump. Yeah. Yes, thank you. They do do air conditioners.

Apologise. Hitachi. Apologise. I do apologise. I humbly apologise. Yeah. Yes, thank you. They do do air conditioners. Apologize. Apologize. I do apologize. I humbly apologize. I offer my sincerest apologies. We said dyken. Oh, okay.

He's right. Just on a coverall basis. A ship comes into a harbor carrying air conditioning units. Good one. Does it have to be in alphabetical order? No. Okay, just any brand. Yeah, yeah.

But I don't know. Or maybe I'd marry a soft serve machine. Oh. But it might break down. Nah, just any brand. Yeah, yeah. But I don't know, or maybe I'd marry a soft serve machine. Oh. But it might break down. Nah, that'd always break down. Your marriage would literally break down. Yeah. All the time. And right in the hot summer months too.

Yeah. Yeah. You'd have people pulling up to the window of your house. You'd just have to lean out and be like, sorry, mate. It's not worth it. Yeah. They'd be like, well, I came for that. Sorry.

Well, we'd like to know what. Hair straightener. Sorry. I'd marry my hair straightener. Yeah. They'd be like, well, I came for that, bro. Well, we'd like to know what... Hair straightener. Sorry. I'd marry my hair... Yeah. The marriage to the bath hasn't even gone through and you're already cheating on her. Oh, yeah, sorry, I'm fickle.

You're very fickle. Okay, so a woman is marrying her duvet. Megan would marry her bath. We're basically just asking you what your favourite thing is. You're like, what would you... What's your best favourite thing? What's your favourite thing is. You were like, what would you... What's your best favourite thing? What's your favourite stuff? What would you marry?

Maybe you're super attached to an inanimate object. An inanimate object. An inanimate object. FEM. ZM. Drax Project. Toto on ZM. Fleeche Vaughan and Megan,

they were playing at the One Day Cricket last night. Wellington. Were they? India. Yeah, a little pre-match because, you know, it's all festivities. The T20. Yeah, do you know, watching it, so many people wearing puffer jackets. It was freezing.

And it's like today, I think it's not getting past like 18. Oh, that would be nice. What happened? It was like just a couple of days ago. It was like crazy hot. I know. It's nuts, eh? Yeah.

But it's still hot in other parts of the country. Yeah. Particularly muggy in Auckland overnight. Weather, eh? Yeah. How awfully unpredictable. It's so changeable. I know.

Yeah, but it's like summer. You don't expect to be like rugged up watching a sports game in a janty bed. It's cruel that they snap froze us like those peas that that grandad gets on the back of the truck when he's telling his kid about them. Yeah. Right. That's a snap freeze. It is, yeah.

That's not a slow refrigeration. Snap freeze. A woman who will never experience a snap freeze because she's marrying a duvet in the UK has got the world talking about her. But if you had to marry an inanimate object, what would it be? What would be your inanimate object of choice? What a ridiculous conversation, says one text message. You cannot marry an object.

However, I would love to marry my beautiful dog. Yeah, we're definitely the weirdos. Talk about marrying inanimate objects. Nothing wrong with marrying a dog. Somebody said, my boyfriend's beard.

I think I love it more than I love him. Oh, their beard. That's trouble. Lots of people telling us about their battery-powered pals that they'd marry. Okay. That's near the handle. Well, they don't talk back here, do they?

No, they don't. Ready any time. And if you need white noise to sleep, just put it on the bedside table. On your pillow? Yeah, on the bedside table. Rebecca, which object would you marry? Well, you see, it was a toss-up. If you said animate, it would be my dog,

but because you said inanimate, it would be my cell phone. Oh, okay, the difference between animate and inanimate. Yeah. Okay. The thing about marrying a dog, though, is they aren't around forever. It'd be heartbreaking. Yeah, but neither are cell phones.

You're going to lose battery life two years into that marriage. I've gone through so many cell phones. Yeah. Well, I mean, it's like Megan's on to her second husband.

Yeah. You know, I'm on to my eighth son. Oh, but that's not fair to Megan. It's alright. So what had happened

with him is batteries went dead though, eh? Yeah. The screen broke. The boy died. Yeah. And he wouldn't update

to the latest software. Yeah. Kept crashing him. Hey, thanks you boy died. Yeah. And he wouldn't update to the latest software. Yeah. Kept crashing him. Hey, thanks you, Rebecca. All right. Lesley, a what inanimate object would you marry? My ha-ham. Your what?

My ha-ham. What's a ha-ham? A ha-ham. My ha-ham is a woolen blanket with silky edges that I had from a kid. I had one of those, and I rubbed the silky edges that I had from a kid. I had one of those and I rubbed the silky edge on my lip. Does the name come from what you called it

as a kid? Yep, yep. My mum, I don't know where it came from but my mum always said I called it a hip. And my husband thought it was hilarious when he told my mother that he'd seen my hip. That's, how tattery and yuck is it No it's not

It's It was always It's 100% wool And it was always Hand washed by my nan So it's really well Looked after Oh wow

Nice And do you still Have it around And carry it around And rub it on your face To sleep It's in the cupboard now though I can't leave my

Hormone lying around Oh okay Yeah yeah yeah You don't want someone Stealing you Well I mean that's Technically like The woman that's married In the duvet Just a small Far more portable though. I can't leave my home line around you. Oh, okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You don't want someone stealing you. Well, I mean, that's technically like the woman that's married a duvet. It's a small, far more portable version of a duvet. Exactly.

Truck driver says they'd marry their truck. They spend 60 to 70 hours a week in her. And she's a big, beautiful, comfortable unit that never gives me any grief. Because they love their trucks. They do. They love their trucks. Because truck drivers have those magazines and they get the centrefold. With centrefold other trucks.

That's what they're doing in those west areas. That's so weird. You don't want to marry a truck and then be caught by your truck looking at other trucks. Yeah. It's a way to make your truck feel inadequate, you know? Yeah. And then a truck goes in the truck magazine saying how trucks ruined their lives, ruined their marriage. He was addicted to the cam magazine.

That's what it's called, the cam magazine. Is it? Yeah, Dad used to get it. That's so weird. Why did Dad use it? Because he used to drive trucks. And I think it's a rule. If you drive trucks, you have to get the Cam magazine.

Are they like, oh, look at this centerfold. Because if you can tow some tonnage across the bloody outback. Have you ever been driving at night, like long distance, and then you see like one of them come over the horizon and it's lit up like a Christmas tree. They like that too. The overnight haulers, mate. They want to be seen and they want people to be like, that's a beautiful truck.

Lovely lights, mate. Is it main freight that gives you a little inspirational quote? Oh yeah, they do that on that. Yep. Yeah. That's just like the basic bitch of trucking industry though, isn't it? It's like it's one of New Zealand's't it? It's like walking into somebody's house and they've got one of those live, life, love, bliss things on the wall.

You know, you don't need to say that. Give me a little, this is grandma's kitchen. You know, one of those signs on the wall. Those are all good in the house. As long as you're a grandma and it's in the kitchen. CDM's, Fletch, Va a grandma and it's in the kitchen.