ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Megan Podcast - February 08 2019

Episode Date: February 7, 2019

Special guests - The Hot Mess Express (Bree and Clint) are in studio, Friday Flashback and Super-Puberty.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Welcome one, welcome all to the Fletch, Vaughan and Megan podcast brought to you by Spark. Get four gigs of bonus data on Spark's $49 prepaid value pack. Now, on with the podcast. It's on. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. Thanks, Anya. Welcome to the show. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. Cadbury. This is the second time they've done this, isn't it? It's a real...

It's a real kick in the guts. At least they didn't think they could skiddly-dee it past us without saying anything. Because that's... Did they do that last time? Yeah. Yeah.

And we're all like, no. Absolutely not. What's the change in size? It's just smaller. Yeah, how much smaller though? Well, I don't... Have they actually said how much smaller?

No. No, they haven't. Because haven't they also said it's going to be 10 cents cheaper? 10 cents? I know. 10 cents?

The smallest possible denomination. Oh, yeah. Rubbish. We'll see. Add that. We'll see, Cadbury. You know what?

I just buy Whittaker's. Because they're bigger blocks and they're yummier. And they're like New Zealand. They're made in New Zealand. Not shipped off to Australia and such. It's a good burn, actually. Yeah, it is a good burn.

Take that, Cadbury. Your multi-billion dollar company worldwide. If I want to eat international chocolate, I'll eat Linded. Linded. You don't even know how to say it, mate. Linded. You don't have to know how to say it.

Just slam it on the checkout at the supermarket and be like, hurry up. I need to get to the car and eat that before I get home and have to share it with anybody. Coming up on the show, there's no... Whose Flashback Friday is it? Is it my pick? Oh, it'll be a banger. It'll be a banger. We'll kick off Friday Jams at 8 o'clock.

So here goes the morning spent flinching, trolling through songs. Didn't you have one? Doubting himself. I know. All right, you lot, listen up. It's story time. All right,

three news headlines for story time. As always, Vaughan and Megan pick one of the following three news headlines and then we delve into that story.

The others, well, tough. We don't ever find out about them. Well, tough. Tough. Okay. Headline one, driver's excuse, a first for police. Headline two, B for brawl.

Bingo. And headline three, woman finds reason for high power bill. Ooh. Woman finds... It'll be a hot water cylinder. No. A, it'll either be on too hot, or B, not be insulated correctly.

Easy way to save a couple of bucks on a power bill, guys. Insulate your hot water cylinder. Insulate the hot water cylinder, and turn the hot water down. Is your power bill crazy at the moment because of the heat? In the heat pump? I'm not running the heat pump. You're not running the cooler, whatever the...

No, I'm not running the air con version. You don't do air con. I don't do air con either. But you've got air con. Yeah. Oh, my God. It's too expensive, though. Yeah.

Oh, plus the main... We've got, like, this main unit in the hallway, and one time the power went off when it came back on. The unit didn't come back on, so I don't know what's going on there. Right. I need to get that checked out. You see, I just start selling stuff on Trademe to pay for that air conditioning bill if I had an air conditioning unit.

Running that air con. Because I've just got just a fan. A couple of fans. It's insane. I put the fan on, but nah, no air con. Just open all the doors and windows and get kind of enough to freeze. I feel like your wife would be putting it on when you're at work. No, she literally can't.

It doesn't work. Oh, right. Like, I would not. I feel like she would, though. She could. You're such a power Nazi. No, I'm not a power Nazi. It's like 400 degrees.

I'll get it fixed for winter. Yeah, it sucks your power. I feel the cold more than I worry about the heat. Yeah. Yeah, right, okay. Just turn on the sprinkler, run through the house. You should set up a sprinkler in your lounge fledge. Just run it off the kitchen tap.

Roundup on an apartment. Yeah, I know it is, but they're just being power trippers. Yeah. Okay. Okay, so power, no Googling? Did you find out what that is? Is that woman

from Maryville? No. Okay, back to the drawing board. Well, tough. That'll teach you for Googling. Uh-huh. One then,

I think, was the other one that drives his excuse. A first for police. Yep. Okay. Okay, all right. We go to the UK now.

Police were called to the A381 near Devon. They found a vehicle upside down in a ditch on Tuesday evening. Oh, nice. A 49-year-old driver was checked over by paramedics and then was arrested by police. Oh, I know this story. Police tweeted about the incident, I know this story. Police tweeted about the incident because they found no evidence

of what the man claims to have seen on the road to swerve, to avoid, which ended up in a ditch. Because this would 100% be my excuse if I crash, I'd be like, I was swerving to avoid, insert lie here. Get the, like,

bull, cat, rabbit. Much more believable than octopus. Apparently, octopuses are not unheard of in the seas on the south coast of England, but this particular octopus would have had to have crawled more than 5km over hills and fields just to find itself on the A381 motorway. They are very smart, octop smart. Here's a Google image. It's really inland, in the middle of farmland. There really is no reason there would be an octopus

on the middle of the road that then mysteriously disappeared and crawled away. No, it doesn't sound like it. Yeah, so apparently the man was arrested on suspicion of driving while unfit through drugs or drink. Drugs or drink? So apparently the man was arrested on suspicion of driving while unfit. Through drugs or drink. Drugs or drink?

Yeah, I'd say it's drug driving, to be honest. Okay. Well, it probably was hallucinogens if he was seeing an octopus on the road. Yeah. Yeah, I'd say so. Well, that's cute. He didn't want to hit it, though. No, you don't want to run over your imaginary octopus.

Who's taking drugs like that and driving? Yeah, that's madness. People. People do dumb stuff all the time. I don't know why I said that. Yeah, I know. Well, why have you taken your shoe off? I had an itchy foot.

Okay, that's weird. This is in the middle of the break, you're itching your foot. Yeah, yeah, no, sorry for the distraction. It's just got very itchy just one spot particularly if she's an itchy bite okay i did hear a mosquito in the room last night though great story so there is a video which i haven't seen so it's like promise that okay like i lying. I haven't seen this video. It's apparently doing the rounds on social media, and it's quite scandalous and involves an NRL player. So this guy named Dylan, Dylan Napa, was forced to prove that it wasn't him in the video.

Okay. So he had to take his pants down to the Bulldogs officials. The Bulldogs are the leg team, in case you thought he was just rolling up to a pack of Bulldogs and being like, all right, legs. So the person in this video, which again I haven't seen, You're saying that a lot. You're really over-emphasising that.

Have you guys seen it? No. I'm just looking at a video of, about the video so far. Right, okay. So the person in the video has a tattoo on his upper thigh. And so that's why he had to take his pants down and be like, hey, look, I don't have a tattoo. So it's like his doppelganger or something.

Yeah. Someone that looks a lot like him. I feel sorry for the guy because he's just like, he's being recruited and he's like, look, you know, I brought a lot of crap with me, obviously, because now it looks like I'm part of the scandal. I'm really embarrassed for my family and stuff, but it's not me. Because of the tattoo. Yeah.

That's the main identifying feature. Thank goodness the person had a tattoo, though, because otherwise... You don't even have to walk into the boss's office and pull your pants down. Yeah. Say, look, see? I mean, don't judge that, but the other bit. Like, see, I don't have a tattoo. I'm just reading this originally surfaced on Pornhub.

Really? This video. And then from there, it got posted on a very popular Facebook page called NRL Means. Yeah, right. Where it was all covered up. But yeah, like I'm just looking on this YouTube story about it and from Cheeky Girl Ferret, she says, can I please have a link to the video? And someone's like, oh no, the video's been removed now.

It was on Pornhub. That's not me. I have a nickname Ferret, but that's not me. Yeah. And you've definitely not seen the video. I've definitely not seen it. I haven't asked for the video.

I don't know. It doesn't, I mean, it looks a little bit like him, but. But isn't that becoming a thing for, an actual thing for celebrities

like with technology becoming so good. Oh, they're able to like manipulate like voice and faces onto videos to make it look like it's them. Have you seen that video of

Jennifer Lawrence with Steve Buscemi's face? No. It's insane. It's flawless. You're just like, that's so weird looking, but it is Steve Buscemi's face on Jennifer Lawrence. And it wasn't a thing she recorded specifically for it. It was her face after she won an Oscar

giving a speech at a press conference and they put Steve Buscemi straight on there I've seen the Obama one where is it Jordan Peele voices his impression

and they use actual Obama video but change what he's saying wow and it looks so I mean it's not 100% that's what they call them

deep fakes yeah wow it's pretty crazy. But, I mean, I don't think they're using that on NRL players. I think it might just be a guy who looked a lot like him. Yeah, I'd say so. It was the story of Anand Said that captured everybody's ears in 2014, 2015.

The podcast was called Serial. And now, after near five years. And I think he's got a retrial coming up, hasn't he? There's going to be a TV show. Yeah. It has been put together by HBO. And in the UK, it's going to be on Sky. So I think they're both pitching in to make it.

Right. Kind of going Harvey's in the production costs. That means if it's on HBO, it'll be on Sky here. Soho normally pick up those kind of shows, don't they? Well, we've got an HBO channel.

Yeah. And yeah, and then Soho will play it online. So the case against Anand Saeed is what it's going to be called and it's going to be four one-hour episodes. They haven't just started

filming this now though, right? No, they've been filming this for ages. Yeah, well, somebody's been filming and I guess they're putting it together and selling it on to, and recouping their costs to HBO and Sky. So if you've never listened to the Serial podcast, basically a guy

was accused of and sentenced to life, right? Yeah, for murdering. In 1999, a high school friend of his died and he got charged with it, but he's always maintained that he's innocent and he was sort of the victim of circumstance, really, wasn't he?

Yeah. He was just the easiest one to blame. It wasn't as clear. When you watch Making a Murderer, especially season two, you're like, well, he didn't do it. The staircase, you're like, oh, yeah, maybe not., he didn't do it. The staircase, you're like, oh, yeah.

Maybe not. I don't think he did. At the end of all the updated staircase. But, yeah, there's circumstantial evidence against him. Maybe the TV show can finally answer the question, what's up with Jay? What is up with Jay? Because we never found out what Jay's deal was,

and I feel he got off very lightly. Was there a payphone? There's a sketchy guy in the trailer. I wonder if that's Jay. Oh, that's there. Yeah, there's a sketchy-looking guy. He's like, I wish I'd never talked to you guys. Oh, that could be Jay.

Yeah, but if you've never seen it, it's Listened, brother. It's a great, incredible podcast. That was the first kind of podcast I really listened to. Me too. Because you were like, well, I'm going to sit down and listen to people talk. Yeah. This is weird.

I mean, we'd had a podcast for like six years by that stage, but sure, who wants to sit down? And I mean, we literally talk for a job that people sit down and listen to, but who would want to? It's weird. It's weird. You're all weirdos.

What are you doing? You think now, though, like... Every... Everybody's got a podcast. What's the. What are you doing? You think now, though, like... Every... Everybody's got a podcast. What's the crime podcast that you listen to, Caitlin? You're into that crime podcast. My Favourite Murder. Yep.

Yeah, I listen to Case File and also... What's the one called with the two girls? My Favourite Murder. My Favourite Murder. Yeah. Yeah. And I also listen to Sword and Scale. I listen to a lot.

Oh, I listened to a couple of Sword and Scale. That was intense listening. It's so intense. What's that about? You hear the tapes from like the 111 calls and stuff. Yeah. Like when people call up to, yeah, say that they murdered someone. And it's always one episode's about a case and they just kind of break it down.

Do you have to, I have to take one like headphone off or like earphone out because I get scared. Someone's behind you. They're sneaking up on me. Yeah, I have to be out in public with people around me. Yeah, right. But also be watching these people around me because they could be murderers too. Yeah, okay. But you're obsessed with these true crime stories.

I know. I'm scared my whole life. I look behind me. Why are you listening to them if they're making you scared? Because I'm obsessed. You like being scared. I don't know. Not really. When is the show coming out? This year.

They said it's going to be out sometime this year. F.E.M. There is a competition in Australia that's had to have a little bit of a makeover. It is Australian. I'll just say that again. So it's the Bonds Baby Search. So they're just looking for like cute little babies. It's supposed to be fun.

If you're like, oh my God, mine's the cutest, you submit it. And then in the past, people were able to vote. Right. You can see where this is going. So they have abandoned public voting because of the nasty comments people were writing on other people's children. About babies.

About babies. Right. About babies. Some of them, they were called ugly ducklings. Well, see, some parents are like, no, that's not winning. It's an ugly duckling. But then jokes on them because the end of the story, the moral of the story of the ugly duckling is that it wasn't a duck at all. Yeah, it turns into a swan.

It was a beautiful swan. Someone wrote, my kids are a lot better than the ones chosen. That's someone whose ugly kid didn't get chosen. Someone commented on a mixed race baby and said this is Bonds Australia, not Bonds Asia. Australia. What? Come on.

This is even This is really awful So there were two finalists With Down Syndrome They were ridiculed as hideous and weird So they were like This is not happening anymore You can't do this to children

Like take a good hard look at yourselves What is going on? Isn't that horrible? Yeah so People can no longer vote anymore But you can submit your children Wow yourselves. What is going on? Isn't that horrible? Yeah, so people can no longer vote anymore, but you can submit your children. Wow. Yeah, you can also submit your fur babies

now, so I'm in. If you want to don't, because they'll say horrible things about Leo. No, they won't. We filter, don't we? Yeah. Everyone always messages me and tells me how cute he is. We're your Simon Cowell.

They tell me how cute he is. We love you. And they're like, Fletcher Warner just plain mean. Megan, I'm just trying to protect your feelings. And you said that to Leo's face at the weekend. You said, hey, googly. That's so awful. We were playing.

But he's a weird looking dog. I'm never going to comment that on a public forum. No, just say it to his face. I've never said that about your dog in public, on the radio or anything. No way. You just take a hard look at yourself. Don't lump me in the same category as

these people online. How can you say that about someone's baby online? Okay, there's one thing to think it. And sat behind their back. Then you've got to go online and type it out. And you're like, okay, I've typed that now. And then you've got to press enter. And that's online with your name.

Because I'm imagining it's a vote. You had to log on to stop just somebody voting a thousand times. Then you have to actually submit that. Like, come on. You're a thousand times. Then you have to actually submit that. Like, come on. You're a bad person. Good God. From the ZM Think Tank,

this is the top six. Hello there. Bad news. If you love an apple, but you also love burning piles of tyres, apples might not grow in New Zealand so great with the climate change because what makes New Zealand apples so great, like jazz and envy, is their crispness, colour and taste, a result of warm days and cold nights.

Oh, okay. Warm days, cold nights. I had no idea that that's what required a good apple. I guess that's why Britain grows an alright, well, they used to. That's kind of where we got it from, eh? Apple growing as they have the cold nights but the warmer days during the summer. I didn't know that they were big apple makers. Well, that's where we got all our apple heritage from, right?

I don't know. Because who grew apples before us? Don't know. We're not the only ones that grow apples. No, no, but we're like a pretty good apple grower. Is it Japan that grows a good apple as well? I'd imagine they might. Southern parts of Japan might grow a good apple.

I feel like the Fuji apple. Is there a Fuji apple? Yeah, I feel like the Fuji may be a Japanese apple. Okay. So we've got to worry, I guess, if you're an apple orchardist and you're growing them, but climate change is changing the way you can grow apples. What have you Googled?

United States, China, Italy, Chile, France, Poland, New Zealand, South Africa. Right. South Africa. That's the top eight, ten apple exporting countries in the world. Well, good on us. We do grow a good apple. We do. We're always telling everybody how we grow.

Do you remember partaking in the Great Apple Crunch? What was that? Oh my God. Was that like years ago? Yeah, everybody bit into an apple at the same time. Yeah, I remember that. It was years ago.

It's something I wouldn't do because everybody's doing it. Well, you had no choice. It was at school. They sent a box of apples to your school. Then you get a flowery one and it was like...

Absolute worst. So the top six types of apple I'm willing to lose to global warming to keep the Pacific Rose which is my favourite apple. Year on year. Because it's big and it's lots of flavour. I don't like the skin. It's a bit bitter.

I like a jazz. I'll give you that. The skin's a bit... I'm okay with a jazz too. That's my second favourite. Right. And those golden apples were pretty good. Haven't seen those around for a while. Are you joking? Golden apples? Yeah, with the yellow skin.

Oh, yuck. Those were so yuck. I know. Those were all right. You haven't seen them around because no one bought them. See, I love a royal gala. That's your classic. But they can be quite flowery sometimes.

I know you don't like eating a Granny Smith, but Granny Smiths are pivotal to cooking. Oh, piss off. Other apples can be done for cooking. So, number six on the top six apples I'm willing to lose to global warming Oh, piss off. Other apples can be done for cooking. So number six on the top six apples I'm willing to lose to global warming to keep the rose. Number six, the brand new ones

that are still flowery. Yeah. You just get them. And they feel crisp and you give it a little squeeze and it goes... And then you bite into it and it's flowery

and you're like, this is very... I was deceived. That's the trouble when we're a big exporting company they send all the good ones overseas

we always get the rubbish ones the leftover when was the last time you had an apple straight off a tree nuts how different it is nuts

isn't it real like bitter it's just real sharp super sharp taste and because they sit in a big cooler don't they they take ages. Number five on the list of the top six apples I'm willing to lose to global warming to keep the Pacific rose,

my beautiful Pacific rose, the Braeburn. I wouldn't be upset if that went. It's not the 1980s, Enza. You can stop producing that shit. I'll eat it if I have to. Oh, I'd be so angry if I looked into the apple bowl in the morning just before I left home to come to work and it was a Braeburn. I'd hit the roof. Number four, I'd go wake Sade up.

I know it's 3 a.m. You bought Braeburns. Jesus. Number four on the list of the top six apples I'm willing to lose to global warming to keep the rose. Crispy ones with a rotten core. Oh, yes. You know, you bite it and you're like, oh, that's nice and crispy.

And then you keep eating and you're like, taste has changed. And you look down and it's just got this big, like, hunk of brown. You do that all the time. I know. How does it? He, like, munches into the core and then gets upset about it. What happens to the apple that it's crispy on the outside but it's rotten in the middle? I think there's a hole at the top.

And some water gets in. Yeah, moisture. And then rots it from the, oh, deceitful. No, I'll never forget the time about this stone fruit story about I bit into a nectarine and the stone came in half and there was three earwigs in my mouth. Like that for a while put me off nectarines. And when I'm biting a stone fruit now, I always check.

I carefully nibble and I see if there's any cracks in the shell. I'm still scared if there's a crack in it. There might be some earwigs in there. I'll always check if there's a way in at the top before I munch into a stone fruit. Because you don't want a James and the giant peach situation. You don't want to bite it and there's a collection of insects in there. And a small boy. Don't eat me, James!

Shit, mate, how'd you get in there? Long story. Long story, my parents'd you get in there? Long story. Long story. My parents are dead. My aunties are horrible. Don't worry. We crushed them with the peach you're eating. We tied some cotton to some seagulls.

Long story. It's very unbelievable. Is that how that goes, that story? Great yarn. I read it recently to the girls. I got LSD when they wrote that or something. Roald Dahl. I think he was having LSD on his cornflakes every morning.

Number three on the list of the top six apples I'm willing to lose to global warming to keep the rose, the Royal Gala. Yeah, it can be quite flowery. I say strip it of its royal title. Miss, what's the word? Miss, I don't know. I don't know your time.

Miss Judge. Misunderstood. It's a misunderstood apple. Yeah, I think it's all right. No. It's all right if you get a nice crisp one. It's a good sturdy, yeah. Nah.

Okay. Any apple with like a skin on it that can't quite decide what it wants to be. Right. You know, like the Gala and the Brayburn are both kind of reddish, but they've got like bits of green. Yeah. Nah. Okay. Nah. I'm like, nah. Okay.

Nah. Like a Red Delicious. Remember those when you were a kid and you'd bite in them and they were like bright red and then the flesh was like really like, bam, like crisp white greenish. Yeah. Those are good apples. Number two on the list of the top six apples I'm willing to lose

to Global Warming to keep the rose. The ones with multiple stickers on them. Because you see a sticker and you take the sticker off and you roll it up and you put it in your car ashtray and you flick it off your fingers like. Yeah. And then you finally get it off. Yeah. And your car's full of them, by the way, mine is.

And then you're just eating and then all of a sudden you're like. And a second sticker on it. Because you only ever look for one sticker, don't you? Yeah. You get that, you stop looking. But it might have a secondary sticker on it. Because you only ever look for one sticker, don't you? You get that, you stop looking, but it might have a secondary sticker and it'll get... Shouldn't we be doing away with stickers in this day and age? It's just a little bit of plastic on your... They are quite glossy, eh?

I think you might be right there. That's the next to go. Get the Medible. Yeah. Like those Mickey Mouse icing, cupcake icing things. Remember them? Stick on, you can eat the whole thing. Right, okay.

Get it printed up, eat the whole thing. Right, okay. Get it printed up, eat the whole thing. And the number one apple I'm willing to lose to Global Warming to keep the rose, you think, the irony because it's

my name, Granny Smith. Yuck. But see, I'm with Megan. If you're going to do an apple pie, you need good

Granny Smith apples. I just looked up other apples that can be used in baking instead of Granny Smith's and there was like six. Okay that can be used in baking instead of Granny Smith's and there was like six. Okay, right. Six others.

But it's the only green one, isn't it though? Yeah, it is the only green one. I'm happy to never see a green apple again though. That's just how I roll. That is today's top six. Weddings are always the source

of a bit of an argument, especially when people give the opportunity to chime in on someone else's plans. This is actually a Kiwi bride, and this appeared on Christchurch Buy, Sell, Trade, the community page. So it's like a community notice. It is.

Okay, yeah. So she wanted something. I'll read you the post. I'm getting married on the date taken out, April, and I'm looking for a student photographer wanting to get some experience or to build their profile. Oh, yes. I see where this is going. Please note, this is a volunteering role.

I would love a photographer to take photos. You will get the opportunity. Oh, she's put the bonus is. Yeah. You will get the opportunity to build a pretty cool portfolio. The venue is at Sign of Takahe and the theme of the wedding is medieval. Game of Thrones. If you are keen, flick me a message.

Yeah. Someone dropped all their money on costumes and props and they don't have any money left for the photographer, right? Yeah. That'd be so great. Imagine if you got invited to this, you could take the reindeer rug that you've got and wear it in just... Oh, where's the cloak?

Cut a hole in the middle and just wear it as a cloak. That's exactly what Sade would want me to do. Cut a hole in their lovely pelt to wear. So people are upset because they're saying, well, you're asking someone to work for an entire day. Yeah. Someone said, so I'm all for going to a student for cheaper services,

but wanting them to do it for free, that's a bit cheeky. Everyone's like, look, understand the budget. Weddings are, like, expensive. Yeah, yeah. But, yeah, asking them to do it for free is so cheeky. Lots of people saying I would go just get drunk for free with my camera hanging from my neck all night. Someone's like, you should just take a ton of photos

and cut everyone's heads off. Just take photos with the lens cap on. So just to sabotage the wedding. I mean, if you're going to do it, don't do it to be spiteful. But like you can pay a small fee, couldn't you? Yeah, surely a couple of hundred. Yeah. Or look, if it's really a stretch, just get a camera,

borrow a camera and get someone there to take the photos. Do that thing where you, oh no, because I was going to say that would cost money, but you put those cameras around and people on the, who's wedding had that? The tables with all the cameras on them and everyone on the table had to take photos of people. Like disposable cameras.

Yeah, and then you just leave the disposable cameras. I mean, it's not going to be a high quality photo, but it's a cheaper option. Yeah. That's a good thing to do just to get candid ones. Yeah, and then you just leave the disposable cameras. I mean, it's not going to be a high quality photo, but it's a cheaper option. Yeah. That's a good thing to do just to get candid ones. Also, I remember thinking, bloody wedding,

when I found out how much wedding photographers were, I was like, damn, that's expensive. How much is a wedding photographer? I've got no idea. Like a really good one. Yeah.

Five, six grand? Yeah. For the whole package. But they're there the whole day and they edit the photos for that price too, right? Yeah, exactly. Oh yeah, and you know they take amazing photos yeah you get a good one and you

see their work yeah um and then you they edit them you get them printed yeah everything so like like anyone that has these kind of skills or like photoshop skills you'd be used to getting asked to do things for free yeah just just a little Photoshop here. Won't take long. Just a quick little situation here. Yeah. So she's palming this off as work experience. I thought we could put it out there and see what other work experience people have been forced to do. When was your work experience more than you could handle?

More than you bargained for. More than you bargained for. I want to hear from people that got work experience and yeah, were completely out of their depth. They were putting too much on work experience. Because you know, sometimes they'll get kids from school that come in for work experience and then make them do outrageous things.

Here? Yeah. What do you mean outrageous things? It's like cleaning the barbecues and that. They haven't been cleaned for six months. And then you've got that nasty fridge. All kinds radio though. Yeah. It's like cleaning the barbecues and that. Yeah. That haven't been cleaned for six months. And he got that nasty fridge. All kinds of stuff. Oh, that's character building.

You'd be the worst boss. Well, no, we all did work experience. Oh, yeah. We all did. My first day when I wasn't getting paid in Hamilton, I had to go and steal soundproof windows out of the old building that my radio station had been evicted from. They're like, oh, they wouldn't let us take the windows,

so you need to go in and steal them. I was like, so you committed crime on your... They didn't say that I needed to steal them until I got back

and they were like, great stealing. I was like, stealing? They were like, are you technically not allowed on that property? I was like,

technically. I'm like covered in probably asbestos dust. At least I was discreet about it, I suppose. Right, okay. The sledgehammer just hanking a wall. Well, okay, well let's take some calls. The sledgehammer just hanking at a wall.

Well, okay, well, let's take some calls. 0800-DARZ.M 9696. How bad was your work experience? Were you put in the deep end? Were you asked to do, like, a lot for free? Like, what were you asked to do for free? Exactly how much? Maybe it was break the law and steal some windows.

Or just the crappiest jobs at this workplace that no one else did, but you did. Or like you say, like work and jobs at that workplace that someone qualified should have been doing. Operating heavy machinery that you'd never seen until you got there that day. All right, give us a call. 0800DARLS.MU. You can text as well.

9696. We're talking about when your work experience was maybe more than you'd bargained for. Tasks set ahead of you. Yeah. A person working for free. Definitely those that belong in the realm of the well-paid. Yeah. Especially though if you were at school and had to do some work experience.

And you were just like, I'm too young and unqualified to be doing this. Did you have a day where it was, when you were in senior high school, it was like a day where you had to find yourself a job? No, I don't think so, no. Did you not? I don't think so. And you did like, it was like work experience and you kind of picked something you were semi interested in. But everyone just went to their dad

and was just like, hang out for the day. Right, okay. No interest in being a farmer, but I just drove the motorbike around that day. Putting up fences and stuff. So we want to know what you did for work experience. It was perhaps well above your non-pay grade. Yeah, Stephen, what did you have to do? Stephen.

Oh, he's gone. Steve. Some text messages. Some texts in. Somebody said a friend from school got to go to the zoo. Okay. We were all super jealous that they had work experience at the zoo. But she basically was just cleaning out the elephant enclosure.

Yeah, shoveling poos. And no bigger poos in the animal kingdom than the elephant. Yeah, right. Well, one that you'll find at the zoo anyway. But if that was your job, it's like when we get work experience people here, it's all the yuck stuff that nobody wants to do, so you get them to do it. Yeah. Brilliant.

They said at the end of the day, she asked if she could pat the elephant, and they said no. Oh, come on. James, what did you have to do for work experience? Morning, guys. Yeah, the careers thing, the teacher said, Dan, what are your ambitions in life? I was like, well, I don't really know. I just picked something like my hobbies.

And that was like machinery and all that sort of thing. So that threw me in with this local company that did like demolition and stuff. So I turned up on the day and I was like maybe 11 or 12 years old and the old mate sort of really obviously didn't care about his job too much. He says, can you drive a truck? I says, says, sure.

And he goes, right, jump in that one there and bring this and follow me around to the job site. So I'm like driving around sort of Hornby, Christchurch areas in this bloody truck that I shouldn't really be driving and pulled into a site. And he says, can you drive a digger? I says, sure, I'll give it a go. So he goes, we're pulling down this house. You're 12 years old.

You are closer to driving one of those diggers in a sand pit than you are being legally old enough to drive an actual digger. The only difference is I don't have to put $2 coins in this one. Yeah, exactly. You weren't scooping up plastic balls. Brilliant. James, thanks for your call, mate. Somebody else messaged in saying that I had to piece together broken crockery and classware

from two full wheelie bins. It was how they recorded broken inventory at a hotel I worked at. What? That just sounds like a joke. So if something broke, it does sound like going, sending the apprentice

to get like a left-hand screwdriver or something like that, right? Like piece all these, that would literally be the hardest jigsaw puzzle in the world. Yeah, it's roughly about three cups. Yeah. Job done. Somebody said, because we're onto this,

because somebody wanted a free wedding photographer in Christchurch and someone said, as a wedding photographer, thank you very much for putting the value on our services. The amount of people that just think they should be paying like a hundred bucks. Yeah. No. It's a professional skill. Also, they're there for hours.

Yeah. Yeah. And they do good photos. They do like that stuff, that thing your iPhone does in portrait mode, but without even being in portrait mode, man. And it's like they edit them like they've got a really good Instagram filter on all of them. I know. They do the little twist thing.

Yeah. Well, some of them have drones, don't they? You had a drone photo. Some drone footage of yours. Yeah, I did. I just went by drone footage. Got to be careful you can't get married in the airport if you want to use a drone. Somebody said, when I did work experience and I was 15, I actually got paid more to

do less than I get paid to do now. Oh, okay. Sounds like you should have stuck to that. Yeah. I studied horticulture and my work experience was just weeding an entire garden. Oh, that's not good. This is just your personal garden. This isn't

the horticulture industry. This is just like your roses and stuff. But anyway, I did it. Got it done. Somebody else said we get work experience people all the time and the whole deal is that they're only there to do jobs that you don't want to. When we're at a work site and we know we've gotten the unpleasant task

of digging a long trench, we literally ring a local high school and see if there's anyone who wants work experience. Oh, my God. Yes. Way to put them off an industry for life. I did work experience at a police station. I was about 13 years old when they obviously weren't allowed to leave me unattended. But the three police officers there all had to go to the morgue.

So I had to go to the morgue when I was 13. Were they like wait outside or were they like, come on in? You may as well experience it. It's work experience, isn't it? It's like the chiller. It's like a land away. It's just a little bit cold. Except with less cruises. Vodka cruises.

Well, there might be some beers, but they're dead now. They're in the cupboard. My work experience. Somebody said, can you drive a forklift? I was like 13. I said, I can try. And they were like, that's the attitude. Fake it till you make it. Yeah. I mean, should be licensed, but give it a blast. Give it a blast.

This had people up in arms yesterday. Cadbury has made an announcement. And this was something they posted on their Facebook page. It was like an announcement on Buckingham Palace, a framed notice. I feel like I'm in a really bad relationship with Cadbury. They've got bad news for me every week. It's like every week they come home and they're like, I've cheated on you again.

And I'm like, I wish you'd stop. But you keep going back. They screwed us with the eggs last week or the week before. The marshmallow eggs. They screwed us on that. They've gone in half. They moved to Australia. And then they stopped making some stuff. They moved to Australia. Yes.

And then they stopped making some stuff. Yeah. And now they're downsizing the chocolate again, because this is not the first hit that the king size has taken. The family size. Now, I don't think they call it king size anymore, do they? No. Because a king would turn his nose up.

Well, this is the notice. Next month, you'll notice something a little bit different about our Cadbury family blocks. Hi, Cadbury fans. We're committed to delivering the best quality Cadbury family blocks. Hi Cadbury fans, we're committed to delivering the best quality Cadbury chocolate to you at the best possible price. Unfortunately, over the last few years we've seen our costs go up. Rather than raising the recommended retail price, we've made the call to reduce the size of our Cadbury family blocks so that they continue

to be an affordable treat for all Kiwis. You can rest assured that the ingredients and recipes that deliver the smooth, creamy taste of Cadbury chocolate will remain the same. But they're making them smaller. But they haven't said how much smaller. Because I remember when they went down a size last time, I was like, ooh, this is okay. And to go down even more.

10%. So is that like a row? Because it wouldn't be 10 rows, would it? How many grams? They're 180 grams, aren't they? Oh, I remember when they were 250 Oh my god Yeah

So what's 10%? Is it like 175? No, if they were 185 before It's 18 So it's 18 grams off So let's just say 20 grams off So it's 160 So two pieces So let's just say 20 grams off. So it's 160. So two pieces.

Is that what we're talking? Don't belittle it. It'll be at least a row. That's a lot. See, that's... And then they're going to do that thing because last time everybody was like, how many rows have changed?

But they just made the whole mould smaller. Yeah, yeah. So it was the same amount of rows and columns, but everything was smaller. I mean, our nationwide obesity stats probably need this, but don't tell me what I can eat. Don't tell me how much chocolate. Yeah.

We're all aware of the problem, but we don't need this. But what would you rather though? We're dealing with a lot. But they have said they're bringing the price down. Ten cents. Ten cents. Whereas last time I feel they just shr But they have said they're bringing the price down. 10 cents. 10 cents. Whereas last time I feel they just shrunk it but didn't bring the price down. But that's not 10% of the price.

That means it would only be $1. But what if they kept the size the same and put the price up a little bit? Like we wouldn't, that wouldn't be any better. You probably wouldn't even notice. Does anybody off the top of their head know what one of those costs? No. Because you always buy them on special. I always buy the chocolate that's on special.

But then, to be honest, I'll mostly buy Whittaker's now because the blocks are bigger and it's yummier. Shots fired. And it's like, why not? It is, though. Yeah, it is. I reckon it's better. I'll always go them over Cadbury.

But then Cadbury do do some flavours that are real yummy. Remember they did that Lamington one? That was real good. I don't think I they did that Lamington one that was real good I don't think I've had the Lamington one does Whittaker's do Black Forest because

they do they do they do they don't call it Black Forest they do that what do they call it nuts of the forest

berries and nuts of the forest berries and nutty bits and like crispy bits I think it's like shake your eyes in the woods yeah it's something, yeah.

Dark bush. Dark nutty bush. Oh, shivers. You couldn't eat too much of that. Dark nutty fruity bush. Yes. Yeah, the new Whittaker's flavour. It is.

No, I think their one's, it's really good. I think it's better because it's got like the little bit. Doesn't it have a biscuity bit? Yeah. Biscuity bit. Biscuity bitty jelly bit. Biscuity jelly bitty. Dark, nutty, biscuity bush. The jelly. And of course,

there's the jelly tip one. That's in production 24-7. Is that full-time now? That's full-time all the time. That's one of my faves. And their white chocolate is good too. Yeah. Just, yeah. Do you need to whack a hashtag spawn on this? Yeah, I know.

It feels very much. You're not getting paid. This is straight from the heart. I'm not getting paid. Are you trying to get the freebies? I'm just, you know, passionate about chocolate. Yeah. I love it.

Definitely. I love it so much. The whole range off the top of your head. If they want, I do. I do, Megan. If they want to send me some free blocks, I'll take it. You won't say no. I'll never say no to the foresty, nutty bush.

I'm just trying to find, did you find what their foresty, nutty bush is called? I thought, oh, me. Ambassador here should know. Dark block, Ghana. Their Ghana's pretty good, too. Oh, and they do the, yeah, see, there's so many options for chocolate. You know, we're not at a loss, New Zealand. Like, we'll be all right.

Berry and biscuit. Yeah! See, our name was better. I think our name was better. Yeah. Yes! You can have that, Whittakers. You can.

All right. Coming up on. What was it? Fruity, the dark. Fruity, nutty bush. You can. All right. Coming up on... What was it? Fruity the dark. Fruity nutty bush jelly biscuit. Biscuity bush. Biscuity bush. We're taking people on their firsts experiences.

We're opening a gate that has not otherwise been opened and letting them run free in the paddock of life. This started with you, Megan. Never... Never been on a bus by myself. Don't laugh. So took a public bus and felt freedom and dolphins flowed. Yeah. So we've decided to do this for a bunch of people.

And yesterday we went out there and did it. We're here with Monica, who has never gone down a hydro slide. When we're right at the mouth of a hydro slide. Have you ever even been to the mouth of a hydro slide? Never, ever my life. And look see we told you there was traffic lights. I love traffic lights. Great just flick green so go that would indicate go stop. Are you nervous? Uh just a tad it's pretty high up here. So you told me you'd like read about things and watched YouTube videos, and you're scared of some strange things. Oh, very, very strange. What are you afraid of going down?

I guess it's more the fact that you see people getting carried out, might get stuck, you never know. The episode of The Simpsons where he blocks the hydra slide? That's right. That's not helping. Actually, I've been on lots of Hydra slides and this one's cranking a lot of water down today like yeah it is per second that's up there so I don't think any stucks gonna be a problem so there you go that's one less thing to worry about. So have you got your

technique sorted? I was thinking of following the safety procedures. That's a very like evacuating an aircraft for the first time you want to follow that's actually not a good thing to make with your mind at ease either It's nothing like escaping a burning aircraft Alright Megan and I gonna race down and we'll be there when you get to the bottom Vaughn is gonna be here at the top for moral support Obviously selecting the most supportive person to provide that moral support pre-launch. Okay, so Fletch and Megan have run down the stairs Are you ready?

Ready! They're ready. Are you ready? Ready! They're ready. Are you ready, Monica? Yeah, just a tad. Okay, take your position and wait for the green light. Oh, it's gone green, but if you're not ready, we can wait for the next green light, Monica. We do not have to rush this. Okay, she's assuming position.

Red light currently, waiting on green. And we're racing! Monica's coming, guys! Whoa! Yeah! Woo! Whoa! We're racing!

Yay! Monica! That was great! So, how old are you? 23. And that is your first time on a hydro slide. Do you regret not doing this sooner? Very much so.

You're shaking though! Just a little bit. Was it as scary as you imagined? No. I thought it was going to be pretty terrifying, but it's not at all. Well, hey, Monica, congratulations. You can now say you've been on a Hydra slide. How great is that?

You can see it all on our Instagram story. Finally did it. Ticked it off the list. Done. If there is something that you haven't done. Ever in your life and you would like to do it, you can go to ZM Online and register for I Have Never and maybe we

can help you through it. Because there was some joy on her face. Yeah. It was quite cool to see. It's quite a simple thing because a lot of people have done it. She went for a second. Yeah. After all was said and done, she went for a second. God, one day Wed and Wild's going to blow her mind. I don't think she's ready for that yet.

She's working her way up. Just a couple of West Auckland Hydro Slides, mate. Let's calm down. It doesn't even need to be an experience. We were hearing from people that haven't tried different foods and stuff. Yeah. So if there's anything, ZM Online, register. Yeah, I have never.

You could be next week's I Have Never. But tonight, it's a big moment for producer Caitlin. And just to loop you in, if you've been away and you haven't heard, producer Caitlin, after years of going on about wanting a boyfriend, finally has one. She's found him. I got a boyfriend, guys. I wish I'd said something.

No, I don't want to tease you because I'm actually really happy for you. I can't believe this because I didn't make it to Megan's party last week and I can't believe all the open mouth kissing that took place and I hadn't heard about it. I didn't. Nothing. I didn't do any kissing. Like in public.

Like I saw it was disgusting. Like mid-conversation. I was like, oh, okay. That's inappropriate. Megan was talking and then they started kissing. Okay, I'll just look away. You guys are just embellishing to embarrass me

that didn't happen. Well, tonight there might be some open mouth kissing. Oh my God. Because it's a very special thing that's happening tonight,

isn't it, Caitlin? What's happening? What's happening tonight? Dinner? And in attendance will be you, boyfriend, and

Mama Jane. Caitlin's mum. Your mum is meeting the boyfriend. Yeah. And how do you feel about this? I'm a bit nervous because, I don't know, because I'll be over the top like I always am because I'll be trying to compensate for everyone. You don't know, because I'll be like over the top, like I always am. Because I'll be trying to compensate for everyone.

You don't need to compensate. The two other adults there are very capable adults. Totally. I know, but I just, I don't know. Just play it cool, man. Well, yeah, I'm going to be chill. But then you can't play things cool either. You overcompensate playing cool.

I know. Then she'll just tell everyone that she's currently playing it. She'll look up how to play cool and will be like, leave your sunglasses on. It'll be like night time. Inside, she'll have her sunglasses on. But I just want to impress him, but then I kind of want to impress her. So I'll be talking about all his attributes. But her is Mama Jane.

And to get the forecast for tonight's dinner, joining us on the phone, Caitlin's mum, Mama Jane. Hello. Good morning. Hi, guys. Hi, Mama Jane. Hello, good morning. Hi, guys. Hi, Mama Jane. Are you excited that Caitlin's finally got a boyfriend and you're going to meet him tonight? Yes, I'm happy to hopefully have someone to share the load.

Mama! Excuse me? Wow, what a savage. That What a savage That is a savage mum burn I'm great to be around Savage Have you ever met Has there ever been a boyfriend on the scene

That you've met before Oh yeah way back Way back Not usually lessen I keep them secret unless... Do you remember what boyfriend she's met before, Caitlin? Yeah, when I was... Mum, do you remember when I used to play basketball

and that boy bought me flowers when I was like 16? Yeah. And Mum was there and it was really awkward and I was like, Mum, hold my flowers. I've got to go play basketball. I've got to go do a slam dunk and play cool. Now I'm imagining you playing basketball. No, I's really good.

I'm tall. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's a lot. So have you got some criteria? You got some things you want to ask him, Mama J? Yes, got the clipboard, got the pen, got the list of questions. Okay. From Fairley.

Everyone in Fairley's got a question. Oh, cool. Oh, because you quite often, if Caitlin mentions something, the Fairley locals will talk to you about it, won't they? Yes, generally old men, but, you know. No, sorry, fairly people, no. Okay. Mum, there's like one person I'm fairly loving still.

Wow, so I don't know, where are you going for dinner tonight? What sort of cuisine is it? Well, tonight's just drinks, so we're easing into it. And then Saturday night is the dinner at a very fancy restaurant. You're getting two nights? Yeah, well, yeah. And maybe during the day on Saturday. But I've just got to ask him and see if he's cool with it.

Well, because mum's here all weekend and I've got to spend time with her. Right. Are you happy to play second fiddle if it means she's got a boyfriend, Mama Jane? Yes, totally. But actually what she doesn't know is that this man and I are just meeting on our own tonight, Caitlin. What? So I've got to be able to get a word in. Okay.

No, you're not. You actually don't get to come tonight. Okay. Wow, that's a grilling. That's a grilling. That's good stuff. Who's going to pay at the dinner? Who's expected to pay?

The new boyfriend? Will he pay for everyone? No, mum will pay. When I find out what he earns, we'll discuss it. Does he have to fill out an IRD form as part of the relationship application? That's the one.

That's the one. Fill this. Honestly, guys, do not stuff this up for her and me. That's what I've been saying. No, Mama Jane, that's what I've been... I've been trying to reign them in. I know, Megan, you're the doll. You're great.

She was kissing him at a party last weekend, Mama Jane. Bleach! I wasn't, Mum. I wasn't. Well, mm. Sorry. Well, look, I've got things to do, guys. Oh, Mum. I wasn't. Well. Sorry. Well, look, I've got things to do, guys. Oh, okay.

Sorry. Sounds like the boss. Stop talking so much. This is where I get it from. Oh, yeah. Okay, thank you so much, Mum and Jane. Enjoy the weekend. Good luck.

The dinner. And good luck. Thank you. Friday Flashback. Time, though, for Friday Flashback. It's my pick today. We're kicking off Friday Jams, which also start at 8 o'clock now. And I think you summed this up well before, Megan, when you said...

Well, we need to hear it. We'll enjoy hearing it again, but then we probably don't need to hear it... For a while. ...for a while after that. We'll be like, yay, lols. It's a bit of a lols song. This song only made it to number 36 in New Zealand. I feel like it was bigger

on the radio. I feel like it was played quite often. I think any South African listeners would love this song probably more because it was number one in South Africa, the only country that it made it to number one. Oh, my family will love it. Top five billboard in the US, only number 36 here in New Zealand.

But this was only if they were in South Africa at the time. Yeah, true. If they were in New Zealand and didn't purchase it, they didn't... No, but it might be something about being South African. I think this song just gets you going. I don't know. What year was it from?

It is from 2009, this song. Right. So they were like, right, it's been good, but we've had the song, let's get out of here. Move to New Zealand. Sure. I think so. Come on, kids. We're going.

Sure. Before that Oscar Pistorius does something silly, I've got a feeling it's going to happen. I don't really have too much info about this song. So I'm kind of on board. I feel like you might be, I might be throwing you under a bus a wee bit. And like the producers are not on board. They're not on board. But you know what?

I don't care. I just want everyone to feel good. That's what I always like about you. To quarter to eight. To find one. I know. I left it late. You left it to quarter to eight To find one I know I left it late I left it late Alright so Today's Friday flashback

Sean Kingston What a choir What a choir I'm forgetting about what a choir Let's go ZM To them. I got my money on her, her She get it poppin' like it drop in that birthday cake Got a candle need to blow that crazy thing away I take my red, black card and my jewelry

Shawty is cool like the fire, cool like fire Somebody call 911 Shawty fire burning on the dance floor Oh oh oh oh I got a fool right there. She will bring the room to ground on the dance floor. Whoa. She's fire burning, fire burning on the dance floor. That little shawty fire burning on the dance floor.

She's fire burning, fire burning on the dance floor. It's you and Kingston, Friday Jams, and it's your Friday flashback. Fire burning. Do you want to put out your public message? Oh, it's 111 in New Zealand, not 911. Oh, yeah. He didn't do targeted localised versions.

I thought you were going to issue a public apology for that song. Oh, come on. Like Megan said It was a love song We haven't heard it for a while Calm down I'll give you the good stuff first Okay

This one says Absolutely a banger Dropping it low While sitting in traffic At the Mount And no one can see me And I don't care It's loud in here

You don't know that they're South African That was a number one song in South Africa. That was the only place that went to number one. Can confirm 100% that my ex who is from Zimbabwe and all of our Zimbabwe and South African friends absolutely fizzed over this banger for a year.

And that's all. That's all. But there's plenty of feedback. I don't want the negativity. Firstly, someone says, firstly, Fletch, it really shows when you say you want to make people feel good and then you play this that you're really not good at making people feel good. He's not.

I'm terrible. Okay, fine. Someone said, I was willing to forgive Nickelback, but this I'm not willing to forgive. I knew this would go badly. Somebody else said. Megan does this. She's like, yeah, do it.

It'll be great. And then you're like, then you turn on me. Yeah. That's terrible. Right. She should turn. Well, no, she's got South African family, so she could probably. Yeah.

Stay on side. Listen to some terrible music. Okay. Let's go to Tupuki now. Yes, let's. Where there is a 17-year-old who's in the news. Yeah. to Te Puke now where there is a 17 year old who's in the news. Yeah, and he's not in the news for

cultivating marijuana or that kiwi fruit PSA. Kiwi fruit? Kiwi fruit PSA disease. Are you talking the two hot topics from Te Puke? That is Te Puke thunder

and the thing that's going to kill the kiwi fruit. That's generally what we talk about when we're talking about Te Puke. Okay.

Not today. Te Puke or The Hill after translation. T-Pookie has a high school and it made 17-year-old Brodie Hyde shave off his beard. No good for people listening at home, but like, for a 17-year-old, that's a

pretty sweet beard. Oh, damn. That's longer than your beard. Yeah, I don't have mine that long at the moment. That's like, that's thick too. I know, it's good. Good coverage. It's a little throaty beard. Well, when you're young, you do tend to grow it on your throat before you grow it up on the cheek, but's like, that's thick too. I know, it's good. Good coverage. It's a little throaty beard. Well, when you're young, you do tend to grow it on your throat

before you grow it up on the cheek. But that's, for a 17-year-old, pretty good beard. It's like, good coverage around the jawline. He's got a lighter

coloured brown hair which doesn't usually lend itself to a thick beard. It's a good beard though. And like, it does look like he maintains it. It looks like tidy.

It's well kept. Looks like he's had a wash. I know, I know grown adults that want to grow a sweet beard or mow and couldn't and would see that and just be like, I can't do that. Damn, they'd be jealous of him. Well, anyway, he was made to shave. And now I'll show you a photo of him shaved.

Granted, his face is sad. He looks completely different. He looks so much younger too. I know, he looks much younger. Well, he looks like a 17-year-old again. With a beard, he'd be perfect for an alcohol, underage alcohol sting. Because if I was working at wherever,

I'd be like, yep, sure, I'll put those cruises through. I won't even ask you for ID. 17-year-old can't grow that sweet a beard. And here he's wearing his school uniform, but ditch the uniform. He's also carrying a motorcycle helmet. That's cool, dude. I'm giving him a bottle of Jack Daniels, no questions asked.

He, much better with the beard. He suits the beard, I think. He does suit the beard, doesn't he? Yeah. He suits the beard. So the issue is the school... I reckon the school was just worried the ladies weren't going to be able to concentrate. The school is worried about someone with a beard. Mass distraction for the opposite of sex.

And the same sex who find Are you constantly distracted by Vaughn's beard? No. She was immunised. Oh, only when he gets dribbly stuff in it, then it's really distracting. Yeah, it's hypnotic. Works for both ways.

Works for both ways. The school has told him to shave it off, and that's why this is in the news. Yeah, he said the three-month growth had boosted his confidence. It's actually like they put a screen cap of his Snapchat. It's actually quite sad. He said, congratulations, school.

You've now stripped me of the little confidence I had in my body and made me feel like a baby. Why is shaving a school regulation? Yeah, what is the argument? Do you just have to be clean shaven? I reckon teachers are scared that that beard's going to command so much authority that that student's going to end up principal. That's just what happens.

But this is always in the news. He was the long hair. I think that went to court as well, didn't it? Yeah. But I don't know what came of that. Yeah. But I was wondering more. I wanted to take a slightly different approach this morning

and take some calls on super puberty. Super puberty? Because obviously he had super puberty because he's a 17-year-old with a beard that a grown man would be jealous to grow. Yeah, I think it took me until like mid-20s to like it even grow a beard. Oh, mine is there.

I stuck to a sideburn for a long time because it could grow straight down and then it went very throat-dependent. Very throat-dependent. But not face so much. But he's 17. And he can grow a facial beard. Even the tail end of 16

could probably grow a sweet beard. He's even got his moustache joins. That was the bit beside the lip. There's always a gap between the moustache and the beard. Now his even fills in there which is quite an accomplishment for a 17 year old. One of my best friends at high school had super puberty and actually started receding hairline.

And he was the one that got elbows. I'm not encouraging people to buy bows underage at all. You've seen that photo of me when I was And he was the one that got our booze. I'm not encouraging people to buy booze. No. Underage at all. You've seen that photo of me when I was like the head above everyone else. You were very tall at 10, that's super puberty. And I had these boobs and then everything just stopped at 10. You didn't grow anymore?

No. I hit it hard at 10 and then stopped. That was you. Yeah. Well, I'd like to know this morning, I know at $100.me you can text 9696, your moments of super puberty. I even had this thing made. You made a thing? Yeah, I'd like to know this morning on 0800.ZMU, you can text 9696 your moments of super puberty. I even had this thing made.

You made a thing? Yeah, I had a thing made. Super puberty! Yeah, so after you tell us you're super puberty, we play super puberty. I could have said that after me. I could have played that after Megan said. Oh, my God.

At 10, I had these boobs, and I was like a head above everyone else. Super puberty! Actually makes you feel way better. You shouldn't ever feel bad about Super Puberty. I'm so prepared. Alright, well give us a call. 0800

9696. With your moments of Super Puberty. A 17 year old from Te Puke had to shave off his beard after growing up for three months. It's a shame. Like over the holidays, it's what Hosking does. It's what all TV people do. Jesse Mulligan did it over summer.

They grow their beard out. Because they don't have to be on TV. Yeah, and then they get back on TV and some old woman will complain, ring up the TV network and be like, he's got a beard. It scares me. Get rid of it. So they're like, it's time to get rid of the beard. But schools have these rules and this is always in the news.

Well, if someone breaks this rule, where does a rule breaking stop? Where do we draw the line next thing we've got? They'll have purple hair next. Oh, my gosh. And dreadlocks. Yeah. Looking like Rastafarian drug dealers. Where does it end?

It's madness. So some text messages. We want to talk about super puberty. Super puberty! This 17-year-old has a wonderful beard. Wonderful beard. Like a full-grown man

would be jealous of the beard. I love that you went to the effort of making that. Making a little thing. Like why? Talk about super puberty. So we're taking some calls on 0800.ZM

of the super puberty. Seth, good morning. Morning, how you doing boys? Good, good, good. Hey girl. SorryM of the Super Puberty. Seth, good morning. Morning, how you doing, boys? Good, good, good. Hey, girl. Sorry, my girl. That's all right. Hi, Seth.

Hi, Mark. So what was your moment of Super Puberty? I didn't really have Super Puberty like at 12 or 13 or 11 or whatever, but I've got two younger brothers and they were both massive, way bigger and earlier than me. So I was like 17,

I was still 16 and I was like 17, still 16, and I was still like shorter than the second brother and a bit of a midget, and I got a hard time at school. And then overnight, I was a bit over six foot from like 5'3". Supercubity! It doesn't matter when it happens. It doesn't matter if it happens at 16, and that is still super cuby.

It mattered to me. It mattered to me because I had younger brothers and they were massive and I was like, this isn't fun anymore, guys. Oh, the babes. But I remember being at school and you'd be like intermediate and then start of high school with guys that were huge and then just all of a sudden everyone was taller than them and they ended up being like the shortest.

Yeah, because they were like 5'9", when they were 5'10", when they were like 11. Yeah, and then they didn't grow for the rest of the time. Definitely, that was the highlight of high school for me was getting the payback. Being like, yeah, now you're the midget, and I remember how much of a douchebag you were. It's a hard luck.

Oh, I'm 6'1 now. Yeah, look at me. I'm a tall, scrawny fella now. Hey, thanks for your call, Seth. Selena, good morning. Hi, good morning. Good morning. What was your moment of super puberty?

I was an early bloomer and I had de-cut boobs by the age of 14. Super puberty! Yeah, I feel you. Yeah, can't say those off, eh? No, but I had boobs when I was young. How quickly did it happen? Oh, pretty quickly. Pretty quickly.

Pretty much from the age of 12, they just kind of filled in. They took off. Yeah, pretty much from intermediate through to college. And did you think it was cool or it was just hard times? No, no. It's cool now. But at the No, no. It's cool now. And in the last few years of college when you got your first job and stuff,

it was all right. But yeah, no. No, it's not cool. Thanks, you're cool. School uniform, especially younger in school uniforms just aren't made for it, right? Chris, good morning.

Good morning. Good morning. What was your super puberty moment? So I could go to bed, but I wasn't allowed to because of school. But I was allowed to keep my chest here. So I had a sweet chest here. And I used to buy for the police. You used to buy what for the police?

Alcohol when I was 16, 17. So they got you to do the undercover stings? Yeah, man. Back in the station, my friend got handed 20 bucks, went and bought beer, brought it back. I'm pretty sure they used it for their end of year party. But I think my best record was about 11 stores in one night. You're a narc? You're a narc?

What is a narc? Super beauty! I remember really wanting like underarm hair and chest hair when you're like at Intermediate and then you get it and you're like, I wish I didn't have it. Yeah, and then it becomes annoying as an adult. So did they pay you for the underage stings, Chris? No, but I got some pretty good credit out of them. You know, I knew I had them on my side.

One of the guys actually refused to sell me after I turned 18. And the police went back and did it again because that was illegal to discriminate because I'd helped them. I remember you, you little shitbag, you got me in trouble. Yeah, you're not giving me anything. That's it.

Thanks for your call, Chris, and text messages. Some other situations of super puberty. Somebody said I grew from flat chested to double D when I was 13 within six months. Super puberty!

Very much super puberty. Somebody said I grew a foot in six months at school and people didn't even recognise me because I changed so much. Super puberty! Are you going to do that every time? Yeah, pretty much.

Somebody else said, I knew I'd had super puberty when I went back to school after summer break and I'd grown a beard and senior school was mufty and I was sitting up the front of the class and someone thought I was the teacher. Super puberty! Lots of super puberty moments coming in.

You're filtering on the go, aren't you? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm on the... I could see that pad out for time in your face as you look

at the text machine. I had some perky C-cups at the age of 10 and I used to get bullied by my so-called mate, but now who's laughing, Laura? Super human-y! Take that, Laura. Take that, Laura.

My son is now 15. He had a beard at intermediate. Super human-y! You had a man child. He now shaves every day. I had meetings at his high school because he had to be clean shaven. He would literally shave in the morning and at lunchtime they'd say, you have to go home and shave and he'd be like, I shaved this morning.

What did they feed him, like Rogaine or that hair loss pill? I don't know. Or he was like a werewolf. Just let him have a beard. Yeah. No, but they'd let him have a beard for a week. He'll have a beard. Yeah. No, but let him have a beard for a week. He'll have a beard. My mate hit super puberty before a lot of us.

We found out after PE when we were having a shower and everyone had to stop and admire his, as it's described here, hammer dong. Super puberty! He didn't even know it was a big deal until we were all like, holy sh... Holy... You be careful with that thing. Somebody else said, my Super Puberty moment was when I had to get a specially made netball uniform

because the big girls kept trying to jump out during the game. I thought they were getting, like, there was some defence. Bigger girls' defence, but no. Trying to jump out, no, but especially made. And then I actually just ended up sort of being more of a coach slash student manager of the team rather than a coach. Super Puberty! Here we go.

Many moments of super puberty. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Get ready to have your mind pickled. Okay. Not blown? And a brine. Okay. A vinegary brine and then displayed for science. Because today's fact of the day is your chest doesn't expand when you breathe. It expands so you can breathe. Now, doesn't it just expand when I fill it with air? It doesn't.

Yeah, but the filling of the air, I had no idea that this is the situation. The filling of the air happens because it expands and creates a vacuum that sucks air in. That's why you can't breathe if you're being crushed because it can't expand out to create a vacuum. You know when someone's sitting on your chest and you're like... It's because you can't expand it out to stretch the lungs to create a vacuum to suck air in, air pressure stuff.

Yeah, it's a lot to think about. It's quite deep. The lungs aren't a muscle. The lungs are an organ. It's the stuff around it that stretches out and creates a... So you're not breathing in like your body's doing a vacuum. Yeah, when you go, your brain tells the muscles, the diaphragm and the intercostal muscles,

the muscles between your ribs, contract and expand the chest cavity, and then your lungs, there's a vacuum caused, and that sucks air in. Right. I'm trying to surprise my muscles, being like, oh, no, you got me. Surprise muscles.

Surprise, I'm breathing in. Oh, you're ready for me. It's all done, and we don't even have to think about it. It's all done on our behalf. Isn't it so weird that you just breathe? Hey. Yeah. You're just breathing all the time.

Like I'm breathing now and I'm not even thinking about it, but I'm talking at the same time. I know. Magic, hey. And you're upright. It's so crazy. Yeah. A whole bunch of like, a whole network of stuff's keeping you upright

and you don't even need to think about it. And you think about it and then think about it and your arms start feeling really heavy. It's like when you're driving, like that was so hard when you're learning, but now my foot just goes on the clutch. Memory. Just because it knows I need to change gear. Muscle memory. Oh my God.

The brain. We're going to wear a helmet. Exactly. On your lime scooter. On everything. Because you want to be able to do all this. the brain we gotta wear a helmet exactly on your lime scooter on everything because you want to be able to do all this

but yeah when I read it last night I was like I've never thought about it but then you think about the breathing and yeah the expanding

sucks air in because it creates a vacuum and we're blinking the other way around I know because our eyes need to stay wet and the brain's just like

dry and so you it's like a windscreen wiper on automatic isn't it yeah like the windscreen's got that little sensor and it you... It's like a windscreen wiper on automatic, isn't it? Yeah. Like the windscreen's got that little sensor

and it's like, he's not going to see through this. Your brain's like blink, now breathe, breathe, just keep doing that and then sit upright. Stomach, you keep digesting. Heart, you keep beating.

Blink again. Yeah, it's honestly like you're baked, Megan and you're having these amazing, you know, realisations. I always have these on Fridays. So today's fact of the day like you're baked, Megan, and you're having these amazing, you know, realisations. I always have these on Fridays. So today's fact of the day is your lungs aren't sucking in the air. It's the muscles around creating a vacuum that sucks them in.

Man! Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do. The Hot Mess Express. Special guest joining us in the studio this morning, the Hot Mess Express. Good morning, guys. Hey, guys. So nice to meet you. Oh, hey, how are you?

Love the show. I love that you've come in not as Brian Clint. You've introduced yourself like we don't know you. Sorry, how are you? Are you Vaughn? You must be Vaughn. I think the bald one is Vaughn, yeah. Yeah, good, good, good. Nice. Yeah.

So how does it feel to be number one on iTunes then? Oh, we're number one. We haven't checked the chart. We don't really look, but we heard that there's... Are we number one though? It's not about charts. It's not really about charts. It's more about the art form. It's more about the journey. It's more about look, but we heard that there's a lot. Are we number one, though? Is it not about charts? It's not really about charts. It's more about the art form. It's more about the journey and the music, yeah.

For me, it's about the energy that I get from the audience. And we've never performed before, so I don't know what that feels like. But I imagine it'll be pretty good, yeah. That'd be pretty great.

Well, for those that are heading along next Saturday to ZM's Float with Tip Top Trumpet, you guys will be performing your first live set. Yeah, pretty big get for Float and you guys here to ZM's Float with Tip Top Trumpet. You guys will be performing your first live set. Yeah,

pretty big get for Float and you guys here at ZM but we're proud to come on board and hopefully, you know, help you guys out. So,

have you decided which one of you is going to press play on the space bar? On the laptop? On the MacBook? We do everything live. Yeah,

we do everything live. Yeah, we're all about that live performance. That will be controlled from the percussion element of the set so I'll be hitting play on the space bar with the drumstick. Okay, that's it. Yeah, we're doing everything live. Yeah, we're all about that live performance. That will be controlled from the percussion element of the set, so I'll be hitting play on the space bar with the drumstick. Okay.

There's a lot of different elements that we're talking about putting in the show. There's going to be a cracking of a whip, which you might not have seen in Avicii's or Calvin Harris' set before. And maybe a flaming recorder also. Yeah. Okay. We're trying to get that over the line.

So do you want a crowd of people in front of you? I'd stand back. I'd stand back. From what I understand, it's an aqua event. If they catch fire, they just go to the lake. And water doesn't burn. So have you guys hit us with what you need backstage and demands and stuff? Because I feel like it's going to be hefty.

Yeah, our ride is a little bit unusual. I've requested some miniature ponies. They calm us before our live performances, don't they? Hot mess one. Definitely not Clint. HM one. HM one and HM two, like bananas and pyjamas because this outfit's bananas and pyjamas-esque.

They were both striped, weren't they? What's bananas and pyjamas? It doesn't sound cool enough for me to know about. How did you decide who's one and two? How come you got to be hot mess one? Because he's only got one buckle done up. On your overalls. Have you guys heard the single?

I feel like we're not talking about the music enough. That's what people love to hear in an interview with an artist. Tell us who produced it. Pretty lucky. Kings, you might have heard of him. interview with an artist. Yeah, tell us who produced it. We wrote it. Pretty lucky. Kings, you might have heard of him. Big Kiwi artist. He produced the song for us. We did most of the work.

He just kind of came on board last minute. Yeah, all original lyrics. Completely original lyrics. You're definitely not riding on his coattails. Not at all. No. Have anything he wants less to do with this project, which is weird because Megan just told us It's number one

So I mean That's amazing That it's number one It is number one On the iTunes Singles charts At the moment

And we're gonna have a listen now To the Hot Mess Express And send it It's just gone live On Spotify too I think that's what I heard New Zealand Listen to the radio

Listen to the radio Let's drop a knee New Zealand It's time to send it ZM God we sound like Listen to the radio. Listen to the radio. Let's drop a knee, New Zealand. It's time to send it. Send it. God, we sound want you Send it I want you, I want you, I want you We're all underpaid, so we're just gonna send it

Never had a raise, but we're still gonna send it We can go for days, we just wanna send it Let me see ya Send it Send it We can go for days, we just wanna send it It's the Hot Mess Express and Send It. And the Hot Mess Express are in studio with us. Definitely not Brian Clint.

No. No. Guys, quite lyric heavy. Give us the deeper meaning of the lyrics. Did you want more trap, did you? No, no, no, no, no. I'm saying very deep.

We wrote a collaborative effort and it says we never had a raise, but we're still going to send it. So regardless of how much money you have in your account, it will not stop the send. What is the quintessential send? The send is an attitude, it's a lifestyle,

it's how you approach any party situation really, but it transfers into everyday life too because you can send it at work, you can send it today. Right. You can say today, I'm just going to send it today. I'm just going to go for it, I'm going to send it. Now that's a bit different to dialing it in. Like that's...

It's the complete opposite. It's the complete opposite. It's actually putting a lot of effort in. Yeah, dialing it in, no send. No send. No send. Yeah. Okay.

It's starting to see now how we edit out all of the music stuff in interviews, how they make it and stuff. Megan's just looking at the chart. I'm just like, without being rude, like it's still number one. Yeah, who are we beating? Who are we beating in the chart? Ava Max is number two. We're actually being rude, it's still number one. Who are we beating in the chart? Ava Max is number two. We're actually being serious that it's number one.

It's actually gone number one. That's mental. It's so good. But Ariana Grande's album's out tonight. Can Ariana Grande piss off? She's had heaps of success. Let someone else have a turn. Yeah, but streaming on Spotify,

grab the single, download it, and keep it at number one. That would actually make our day. That would make our life. When do the New Zealand charts come out? Like the actual top five? So we balls up a little bit. We made a mistake.

The chart comes out today. And we only went on sale yesterday. So we have one day of sales available for the chart. And every single that we sold yesterday doesn't count for the new week of chart. So we'll probably, who not? That's irrelevant. We're number one on iTunes right now. Let's just focus on that. Every single that we sold yesterday doesn't count for the new week of chart. So we'll probably, who knows? That's irrelevant. We're number one on iTunes right now.

Let's just focus on that. We don't care about the money. We don't care about the performance. I found you on Spotify. This isn't your debut single. No, no. Don't talk about this. That was also a mistake. So we got the name The Hot Mess Express.

Someone suggested that. And we thought, great, let's go with it. Turns out there's already a Hot Mess Express. Someone suggested that and we thought, great, let's go with it. Turns out there's already a Hot Mess Express. Oh, no. And what Spotify has done is they've put us on as the same artist. Yeah. So the other Hot Mess Express, which is like a country artist. It's terrible.

It's really bad. Oh, no. It has one song. Yeah. Called Hills. Called Hills. And they've got, you know there's The play counter beside it Theirs has the

Less than arrow Less than 1000 plays Oh no They're going to be Loving this success though They've gone and Added our song To their profile

It is getting fixed We will get our own page He's also going to be Loving his little paycheck For royalties too Yeah we'll get a wee booster Well like we've said It's not about money for us

So I can't believe I can't believe They're going to get out $2.63.