ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Megan Podcast - February 11 2019

Episode Date: February 10, 2019

Megan made some serious money from her garage sale in the weekend, Vaughan was given a motorbike and what did your parents say to your partner the first time they met?See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Welcome one, welcome all to the Fletch, Vaughan and Megan podcast brought to you by Spark. Get four gigs of bonus data on Spark's $49 prepaid value pack. Now, on with the podcast. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. Thank you, Anya. Good morning. Welcome to the show, Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. Happy Monday. Yes, happy Monday. The Secret Sound returns today with Soundkeeper Gary, a sun-kissed Soundkeeper Gary.

Oh, yes. He's just been to Hawaii, hasn't he? Yeah. What a horrible welcome back. He has to be here all hours of the day. Yeah. Well, he's had a week off. At least he knows we missed him.

Well, at least he knows how to run a good secret sound as well. Ross Boss giving away $13,000 last week. So today, we're going to start at $10,000. It's a good secret sound as well. Ross Boss giving away $13,000 last week. So today we're going to start at $10,000. It's a new secret sound, seven o'clock your first listen and eight o'clock and then we'll give you chances throughout the day and midday four and five

for you to win that cash, all thanks to Save My Bacon. So he'll be in at seven this morning. The top six is coming up on the show. Yeah, Coca-Cola has announced the most disgusting sounding flavour in the world, orange vanilla.

But they do orange and vanilla already separately, right? Because you can get orange here. You can get orange in Australia. I've had orange in Australia. I think. And I've never had, I've tasted vanilla

and it was filth. They need to do like raspberry Coke Zero. They do. No, they do the raspberry, but it's like less sugar, but it's still sugary. Oh, right.

Yeah. Well, you probably, that's the quintessential aspect of raspberry flavouring is a heck load of sugar. But I've had it overseas before, the Coke Zero Raspberry. And it's delicious. Well, it's obviously got something in it

that our food and drug admin, our version of the FDA is like, no. No, you shan't be bringing that here. Alright, you lot. Listen up. It's story time. Alright, three news headlines for story time. Vaughan and Megan pick one

of the following three. Headline one, Miss, not Mrs. Headline two, Woman Wakes Up With New Nose. And headline two, woman wakes up with new nose. And headline three, first thing to go as Portlandia's stock up before storm. Portlandia, um... Portland. Yep. Hipster capital.

Yes. Craft beer capital. Yes. Portlandia is the show. Yep. That is like a sketch show. Yep. Semi-based there.

Yep. Storm coming. Did all the craft beers get purchased? No. Ooh. Close though. Something hipster. Kombucha.

No, not kombucha. Um... It was a vegetable. Kale. Yes. Get out. There's a picture of the supermarket and the kale's been decimated and everything else around it is still there.

Nowhere. And everyone's just like, okay, Portland, calm down, hipsters. Chill out. Chill out, Portland. Yeah. That's good

because I liked one or two. Woman wakes up with no nose or new nose? New nose. New nose. And Miss not Mrs.

Miss not Mrs. Yep. Oh. What do you want? New nose. Okay. Miss not misses. No, new nose.

Okay. Go. Are we locking a new nose? Yeah. All right. Well, this has appeared on E! on our latest episode of Botched, the show. Have you seen this? This is a wonderful show, just mostly because you turn it on at the start,

you see what people have done to themselves, and then you turn it off before you have to see the surgery bits. Yes. Well, a woman who was bullied for her weight growing up has revealed that after she went in for liposuction, liposuction, liposuction, she woke up with a new nose. Oh, whoopsies. What, on Botched? Yeah. No, so what happened, this happened when she was 19. She's new nose. Oh, whoopsies. What, on botched? Yeah.

No, so what happened, this happened when she was 19. She's now 41. She would have gone on botched because she had a new nose. Yeah. Apparently she had no issues with her nose before the surgery. I don't know if it was one of those, just a complete mix-up. Yeah, right. But yeah, she decided she'd have a little liposuction on her stomach.

And then, yeah, woke up with a cast on her nose. And the doctor had performed a nose job as a favor. Oh, no. I didn't know. So she got the liposuction as well? Yeah. And he was like, while I'm here. He was like, while I'm here, I'll just touch you up.

Yeah. Oh, that's so offensive. Yeah. So the whole idea of her going on the show was to fix that up. So he did it as a favor and then botched it anyway. Yeah. Oh, that's upsetting. Do you reckon he was just trying to get his hours up on nose jobs?

Well, she said she was home visiting family in Peru. Peru. Where a famous doctor did it. A famous Peruvian doctor? Yeah, a famous Peruvian cosmetic surgeon. Ah, yes. Apparently he's to blame. But yeah, I'm sure that screen's here on E.

I'm not sure what time or if they're up to date with the latest episodes. But yeah, this is one that you can catch. Good Lord. I don't know if this photo's after Who Knows Job's been fixed or before. I'd say before. But sitting quite high on the face there. Yeah, like lifted it up so you can

see your nostrils front on. Yeah, that's not great. Like a little, like a piggy. You've seen this a lot in news reports recently. Cars being left with the windows up and either like dogs or pets, I mean children or pets inside and the cars overheating. Well, animals and kids have died.

Even here in New Zealand. It's really sad. Well, Elon Musk's cars, Tesla, they have a new feature. It's called dog mode, which is going to be rolled out into his electric vehicles this week. So dog mode means that not only when your pet, it will detect that your pet is inside and it will bring the interior temperatures down.

Wow. That's cool. But also when people are walking past and they see it's a hot day and they see there's a dog inside with the windows wound up, they will still smash the windows, right? Because they don't know that inside it's cold. Yeah, yeah. So there is also going to be a little thing that flashes up, a message to pedestrians saying that the pet is safe inside, this is the temperature.

Because when they walk past, they're just going to be like, oh my God, it's hot. Is there any way to override that message to change it to child or children? Just so you can pop into the casino for half an hour? I'd say it's the same thing. It probably says the living thing inside the smear cool is fine. Yeah, yeah. I mean, they don't want to encourage that.

Do you know... But how's that going to work? Because you wouldn't have your keys in the ignition. It'll just come on. Yeah, it'll just come on. It detects that the levels of temperature in the car is unsafe for any living being. And I mean, I'm sure they've thought of all this,

but enough battery to start your car and get going and get home. Oh, yeah, I'm sure. Because you wouldn't want to use, like, all your charge if you're at the beach. Keeping your dog cute. They've also got something called Sentry Mode, which is going to be rolled out at the same time.

So when it detects that someone's trying to break into the vehicle, it records... Flamethrowers. Yeah, nah. Although, doesn't he own flamethrowers? He owns that, yeah, the board company. Boring company. Boring company, that's right,

that are digging all those tunnels under Allied. He also did a flamethrower under that brand. Right, so it's not that. It's just the dash cam starts recording and it blasts out orchestral music to draw attention to the person who's trying to break into your car. That will make people look.

Brilliant. From the ZM Think Tank this is the top six. Coca-Cola has announced it's apparently in America this is the first time in more than 10 years

they're introducing a new flavour. So all the Coke flavours that we get when we go overseas and we're like, whoa! They've just had them for ages and it's no big deal.

Cherry, lemon, raspberry, vanilla. Oh my god, lemon! That tasted like lemon pledge. How did you taste lemon pledge? Well, you know, like mum would be cleaning the wooden cabinet and she wanted to keep dust off it and she'd be like, Merv, are you going to get some in the face? But you're a stubborn teenager so you don't. So she squirts because she's a stubborn woman in her 40s at the time

and you get a mouthful of pledge. Lemon pledge. Lemon pledge. So they've announced orange vanilla Coke and orange vanilla Coke zero sugar. Oh, well, at least they're doing a zero one. But yuck. That annoys me. Yuck.

I had orange Coke somewhere overseas and it wasn't nice. No good. You know I'm down for any kind of Coke. And vanilla is yuck. I don't care what anybody says. No, vanilla is all good. Yuck. No.

Do you like any of the flavoured Cokes? You're not a Coke. You're a zero. I'm a zero, guys. Yeah. I'm bland. What else is there? Cherry, absolutely not.

Oh, cherry Cokes, legit. Absolutely not. I know they're really yum. I had the cherry zero overseas. They had it everywhere. It's so good. I was like, I'll drink that. And the raspberry.

Yum. I'm down for it. So the top six, I've put together the top six other awful sounding ideas for Coke flavours. Okay. Number six, hedgehog and cray Coke flavours. Okay. Number six. Hedgehog and crayon flavoured Coke. Oh, okay. Okay, now you're being stupid.

Mmm, juice that hedgehog and melt some crayons on that heater in the side of the classroom because it's time for hedgehog and crayon flavoured Coke. Number five on the list of the top six awful sounding ideas for Coke flavours. Right up there with orange vanilla. Diesel and marshmallow Coke. Okay. Mmm. Where are you getting these from?

Did you just look around? It tastes like a cross between camping and grandad's workshop. Mmm. Diesel and marshmallow Coke. Mmm. Gotta have it cold. See, I'd be keen for something in marshmallow Coke. Marshmallow Coke.

Yeah, yeah. Mmm. Number four on the list of the top six of the awful sounding ideas for Coke flavours, salt and cricket ball flavoured Coke. Ooh, yuck. But probably right up there with orange and lemon. How do you know what cricket ball tastes like? Well, you know, when you're doing the thing

where you give it a lick and rub the ball and then next time you lick your fingers, you can taste the the leathery and the dirt but everything well that's the thing about cricket ball

it's a very complex flavour it's a lot of aspects to it yeah but mix it up with a bit of salt mmm number three on the list

of the top six awful sounding ideas for coke flavours fish and candle wax flavoured coke okay you've accidentally eaten candle wax flavoured Coke. Okay. You ever accidentally eaten candle wax because you thought it was icing?

Yeah, me neither. Me neither. Definitely. Nah, didn't happen at the weekend. Nah. Nah, didn't happen. Number two on the list of the top six awful sounding ideas for Coke flavours. One dollar coin and grass flavoured Coke.

You ever accidentally put a one dollar coin in your mouth because you're like fiddling with it and you just pop it in your mouth and you're like, no. Where's that been? Yuck. Well, I've got all the hepatitis now. And grass. I mean, we've all nibbled on grass as children.

There's something refreshing about it. Tamper it up with a stale $1 coin, you get yourself a new flavoured Coke. And the number one, top six awful sounding ideas for Coke flavours, as children. There's something refreshing about it. Tamper it up with a stale $1 coin. You get yourself a new flavoured Coke. And the number one top six awful sounding ideas for Coke flavours. Coal and newspaper flavoured Coke. Mmm. Mmm.

Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. I don't know what they're thinking with orange and vanilla. What about activated charcoal? Oh, that would be...

You've been taking some of that, haven't you? That's different to coal's dinosaurs. Yeah. Charcoal is wood that's had all the stuff stripped out of it, right? Right. Like oxygen and stuff. Yeah. Or something.

Something like that. That is today's top six. There's a new trend for beauty therapies, shall we say. Right. This does involve filler. So it's not lips and it's not cheeks, but the new one is getting filler in your earlobes. So fillers where they just inject hyaluronic acid

or some other kind of substance and it makes it bigger or changes the shape. It puffs it up. Yeah. Why isn't your mic working? It's on. Oh. How did that happen? I think your plug came out My plug popped out

Were you fiddling? No I haven't fiddled in ages You're a fiddler Bit of sunlight liquid What can we use as a filler for at home? Olive oil? No Margarine?

No so people are going to professionals It's quite expensive though Do you get lines Or something in your Ear lobes So apparently This has come from As you get a little bit older

Or if you're wearing Heavy earrings It drags it down And then you get Saggy lobes So people are Putting filler In their ear lobes

Like those So they look nice And plump again African tribes They put like Big plates Yes Yeah But that's more Like the flesh tunnel situation Yeah So it's not going to Work for flesh tunnels No So they look nice and plump again. African tribes, they put like big plates. Yes.

Yeah, but that's more like the flesh tunnel situation. Yeah, so it's not going to work for flesh tunnels. No. Okay. But just because everyone's wearing like massive statement earrings these days, they're like, oh no, my earlobe. So you just get a little filler. Oh no, my earlobe.

To plump it up again. Which you mostly, as a female, you're mostly covering with your hair. Yeah, you can't even see my earlobes. No. No, that's real first world problems if you get into that point. Isn't it? Kobe joins us on the phone. Good morning, Kobe.

Good morning. How are you? Yeah, not bad, not bad. It's nice to hear from guys for Tinder Nightmares. You raise a good point, Megan, because Kobe, I think it's normally the girls that are ragging on the guys. Yeah. But then it's probably because guys are just horndogs, eh,

and they're always a bit naughty. Guys just appreciate anything. We're a very agreeable bunch. Right. We're happy to go along. Okay. All right, so set the scene for us, Kobe. Tell us what happened.

Okay, so I matched this little cutie on Tinder. Yeah. We started talking about Pokemon Go. That was the theme at the time. Oh, great. We were pretty into it. Sure. And we decided to first meet up at the Tonga meetup.

It was actually where like 200 people turned up in one spot to play Pokemon. Oh, yeah. Okay, cool. So we went for a walk playing Pokemon. It was all going pretty well, apart from the fact that she was pushing on five foot in shoes. Right.

And I'm about six, eight. Oh, my God. No, but don't they say height difference, the bigger the height difference, the longer the relationship will last. So there you go. Not sure about this one. Wait a minute.

So she's five foot in shoes and you're six foot eight. Yeah. So you're three. Oh, my God. Are you like subbing her height? Yes. Nearly double. He's a sub and a half.

Yeah. Wow. And like, you can't really hear people when the difference is like... I had to go down on my knee just to hear you. Wow. I do want to patch knives and like crouch down, so it was kind of a bit awkward. You need like walkie-talkies. Yeah.

High up there. It was in good. Imagine that. Are you just enjoying that date down there? Aside from that, it was going okay. Yeah.

Okay. And when the end of the meetup came to an end, we decided to go up the mount because there's a gym up the mount. Yeah. Okay. Yeah.

Right, sure. And again, the height difference came in there when strides came into it oh yeah you you stepped up there in three steps and she was like running like crazy to keep up sure yeah yeah so she was a bit disappointed in the fact that she was tired and i wasn't okay but like every trip up the mountain we decided to take a selfie yeah this is where it went badly again. She was barely up to my nipple.

Yeah. And then I dropped her phone, and it smashed. So I was feeling pretty terrible. And she said it was okay, but I was, you know, I was... Yeah. I've messed up here. Yeah. Anyway, we went back down, so I take her home.

Then once we got into the car, it started to, as a lot of Tinder match-ups go, get a bit heated. And I was just surprised that I was going to get anything out of her after breaking her phone. Yeah, right, okay. But she's down. She was down. Okay, right.

Yeah, and so we get home, and I'm like, okay, I might actually have a chance here. Yeah. And then she pulls out a Pikachu costume and asks me to wear it in the bedroom. No. She did not. Wait, my face just dropped. Really?

Like a onesie, a Pikachu onesie. It was more sexual than that. But again, the problem being six foot eight, it was more sexual than that. But again, the problem being six foot eight, it wasn't my size. How is a Pikachu costume sexual?

It's got nipples. Like a sexy Pikachu. It's got nipples. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I love that you're like, oh, damn it, it's not my size. But like,

I was obliged because I felt bad about the whole phone thing. I was like, okay, what can we do? And so we cut it up to fit. And so it was this kind of like yellow, peachy, mankini sort of thing. Oh, so you cut it around the middle

so there was like some sexy midriff showing. Oh, there was a lot of Betty going on. What is... Is there more? I'm just trying to picture it. No, no, it's... I kind of scarfed it. Did she...

It was all over. Once it was all over, did you say? So it happened. Yeah. So she liked it, when you cut it in half and had to... She was still game for this six foot eight yellow bikini wearing... Pikachu guy.

Yeah. Please tell me you took a photo of yourself in the sexy Pikachu costume. Nah, I kind of wanted to get it out. Has there been any communication since? No. Okay. Look at Vaughan's face. I've got a lot of questions, but none of them are fit for air.

Like, and it's off-air discussion. Yeah, right, right. Follow-up questions. Well, at least you didn't have to pay for a phone. Yeah, no, it's kind of still on. Or that Pikachu costume of hers that you ruined. Yeah, and that's the thing. You're going to take it off, right, the Pikachu costume?

Again, questions for off-air, I think, actually, to be honest. Leave it on, leave it on. Leave it on. Wow, okay, brilliant. Thank you for sharing. I know, I probably wouldn't have shared that. I would have kept that to myself. Man, I lead a boring life, eh?

I know, Me too. Vaughn has no comment. What? I'm confused. I don't know if I'm aroused or confused. So that was three years ago. Next, we're going to find out what happened to Kobe and his love life. Swipe, swipe, swipe, swipe, swipe me All right, and in the lead up to Valentine's Day, we are reliving our favourite swipe me's.

We are. This one was a classic. Well, you just heard it. To bring you up to speed, for those that missed it, there was a Pikachu outfit. Yeah, Kobe. It's my favourite. Met a Pikachu outfit. Yeah, Kobe met a young lady. Things got off to a

roaring start and then she made him squeeze into a Pikachu outfit. It ripped. So he's like, Pikachu is showing midriff and Kobe joins us on the phone now. Kobe, good morning. Good morning. Did you ever hear back from her? No.

I didn't pursue it, though. Yeah, right. No, you wouldn't. I know, I remember your comments. But we always wonder if they, like, get in touch in case they hear it on the radio or something because it's not like, you know, there's a Pikachu outfit involved.

She would know it was her. Yeah, nah. Nah, no way. Yeah. Do you... We animated this one. This was one of the animated swipe meemes yeah yeah did you uh hear about that from many people did they recognize your voice and put the story together yeah yeah

i got a lot a lot of recognition and a lot of um feedback from you right are you still the big question for me are you still playing pokemon go no no no. I kind of retired. Yeah, I also retired. I did see someone... I saw someone playing it down the... I know people are still playing it in their droves. So how's dating been since the whole Pikachu incident, Kobe?

It's been okay. I've kind of taken a step back from Tinder. I've just kind of not swiped as much as I used to, maybe. Is that since the Pikachu incident, or was there others? Yeah, yeah, that kind of traumatised me a little bit. Yeah, a lot of people have been saying that, though, in the follow-ups.

Yeah, the swipemates. But there's no long-term lady on the scene? No, unfortunately not. Still single. Done any bedroom dressing up since then? Not to that scale, no. Oh, right, okay. That wasn't the opening of a can of kink

that you've decided to explore further. No, fair enough. No, I'm making my way through Pokemon any time soon. Yeah. They're not the sexiest Pokemon. I would have gone like a Charmander or something. Yeah. Or Charmander's...

It's fiery. You want to go for a fully evolved, you want a Charizard if you're going to go for the fire route. It's sexy and commanding. A lot of people were asking when I was going to evolve into a Raichu. Yes. Well, you touched the Thunderstone and you will. Do you know,

still to this day after doing, how long have we been doing Swipe Mears for? You'd still be one of the handful of guys or men that are on Swipe Mears. I think I'd be lucky if we've even had three or four guys, you'd still be one of the handful of guys or men that are on swipe mares. I think I'd be lucky if we've even had three or four guys on the whole time. I don't know if that says something about guys. It certainly does.

It certainly does. Usually the douchebags in this situation. Yeah. Hey, Kobe, thanks so much for the catch up. No problem. Thanks a lot. FEM. There is worrying.

This is worrying Now Okay I'm gonna have to check On my baby boomers Okay Check on your boomers Check on your boomers About if they're wearing

Jandals in wet conditions Like Last Waitangi On Waitangi Day Yeah At the Mission Estate In Hawke's Bay

Yeah It was a Phil Collins concert Yes It was outdoors Now the weather I just love that Did this happen In a Phil Collins concert. Yes. It was outdoors. Now the weather was... I just love that this happened in a Phil Collins concert. There was an insane

amount of people. 13 people had to be transported from Phil Collins to the Hawke's Bay Area Hospital with fractured lower limbs. We shouldn't laugh. Because I saw a lot of people in ponchos.

It was raining and it got cold. Yeah. And boomers hadn't planned for it. Seven ankle fractures, a thigh bone fracture that required surgery, and the biggest offender was a woman over the age of 50 who had wore inappropriate shoes for the wet conditions and slipped or taken a tumble. You know what?

They're blaming the weather. Probably a few shard knees. Oh, most definitely tanked on some shardies. Probably a few shard knees in the mix. Teamed up with wet weather and jandals. Whatever range, though. If you've got jandals on and you've got a muddy, slippery hill and a vesti,

it's hard work. You put your foot down, you slip, you push forward and the little bung thing comes out. Your foot goes straight through. Yeah, it could definitely twist an ankle, regardless of age, but this, maybe just because it was Phil Collins and the crowd was, the majority of the crowd was over 50. Yeah, right.

Many injuries sustained due to wet weather chardonnay and jandals. There's a couple of quite serious ones too like a fractured thigh.

Yeah, that's because it is quite a bit of a slope. There are some embankments here so you can see if it does rain you can see some people.

Are they getting enough calcium? I'd be worried about, you know, your mum. Is your mum getting enough calcium? She should be taking a supplement. Yeah, you've just got to be careful when your boomer trips over. Yeah, I know. You know they have those stalls at festivals? Boomers, baby boomers, not like a boomerang.

No, they don't bounce back. Come back around. They need like calcium or whatever. They need to have a stand there. Yes. You know, like you can buy your Chardonnay, a calci trim. What about Activa? Because it's yoga, so there's the calcium,

but it also keeps everything regular. But then you don't want to have to take a shit at Phil Collins. For one, could you word that a little classier, please? But you're right. You don't want to be in a port-a-loo doing a number twos at Phil Collins, especially when In The Air Tonight comes on. What a time to miss that. I can feel it coming in the air tonight.

No, you're like, oh, you're dead right, Phil. Oh, God, oh, my God, oh, my God, oh, my God. Are you all right in there? I'll be just one minute. Oh, my God, that Activa stand was a bad idea. Team that up with a couple of ice cold chardonnays. That anti-pasto platter we had before we came. Are you going to be long?

There's no bloody toilet paper. I'm going to have to use my knickers. Oh, no. Oh no You're going to get a message From my mum in a minute But Not being ageist I'm more just being jandallist We want to know about your jandall accidents

Because every year in ACC forums Jandalls are right up there For injury causing People that drive with jandalls I don't like in ACC forums jandals are right up there for injury causing. People that drive with jandals I don't like that I'd rather drive barefoot.

It's illegal to drive barefoot but it's not illegal to drive in jandals and jandals are nuts to drive in because they get

that bend thing if you push your foot too far forward and then they just hold the accelerator on. You get a bit of sweet under your foot onto the jandals

you get a bit of slip away. It's why I like to wear socks off my jandles while I'm driving. Okay. Do you remember when my mum did gardening with jandles and she had a whoops of daisies? Do you remember what happened? Didn't she stand on? No.

She got a bucket between her legs. Remember that? Oh, that's right. She had a very bruised vaheen. Because of jandles. Because you slipped on the jandles. Slipped on the jandles. Another thing that jandles and escalators don't mix.

Well, they always say that, don't we, you jandals? Sometimes down the bottom. Yeah. It's got a little sign, no dogs. Have you ever seen a chihuahua go through the grates at the end? Bloody messy. Jesus, they have to put the signs up at Westfield. It's worse than a port-a-loo at a Phil Collins concert.

Well, let's not go that far. It's like on par with a post-activa port-a- at a Phil Collins concert. Well, let's not go that far. It's like on par. With a post-activa portalo at Phil Collins. On par. Okay, well, 0800 dials at him. Let's take your calls. He can text us as well, 9696. When have you had a jandal whoopsie?

And how bad was it? I don't know if you're up at Phil Collins level at a Phil Collins concert. Broken thigh. Yeah, that's gross. And broken ankles. But maybe it was an embarrassing whoopsie. Because, you know, you come from the beach,

you go into maybe a food court. Oh, foo-poof. Down you go. Maybe it was an escalator. Like, there must be a reason they're not allowed on escalators.

It's because when the stairs start to close again, you know how the stairs are on an angle. It grabs the front of it? It could grab the front of it. Maybe. It could do that with a shoe,

but I guess it's a bit more protected. Your toes are a bit more protected. All right, if you've had a jandal, whoopsie, 0800-DARLS-AT-M-9696. We're talking about jandal injuries. Last week at Phil Collins. Through the roof. The amount of jandal injuries.

Leg injuries. I mean, it was slippery, it was wet, but footwear apparently playing a major role in that. Well, it rained, didn't it, and there's hills and mud, and you've had a few shardies. Yes. Things can happen. Very much true.

I'm trying to find some stories about ACC Jandals stats, and I found one, but it's from ages ago, 2014. Go on, then. And this was a claim for 213 incidents with jandals. For the whole year? Now, yeah, it says here this was between the 1st of December and the 28th of Feb. So, no, that was for, like, the summer months.

Oh, right, okay. Now, that makes more sense. I would have thought over the year it would have been a lot more. 2013 slash 14. So over that, over just a couple of months, 213 jandal claims, including nails entering the foot through the jandal, stubbed toes and blisters. Wouldn't you go to the doctor for a stubbed toe?

It'd be pretty bad. Yeah, like if you broke your nail though. Oh, when you're a kid, you're just going for a walk, those things would be bleeding. You'd have little bleedy nubs by the time you got back from a walk at the beach. Yeah. You'd be like, that hurts. You get some vinegar on each of them and then some plaster

and you try not to do it next time. Vinegar? Yeah. Oh yeah, it would sting like hell. I think it was just more punishment

for being stupid. Right. You're too poor to get Dettol. No, you're at the beach, you know, we didn't have the first aid cabinet.

But what, mum's got a bottle of vinegar? Yeah, for fish and chips. Oh. For the chippies. Okay. Yeah. Right.

Oh, vinegar on fish and chips. It's a game changer. Have you tried Dettol on fish and chips? No. Not as good. A little bit more of an aftertaste. I think my mum was more onto it with condiments. Yeah, yeah.

Multi-use. Yeah, apple cider Dettol. Yeah. Really take off. Some other text messages in. Somebody said I was on my scooter with no brakes and I was in jandals. Put my feet down. Jandals both broke.

So I had no brakes. I had to like try to stop myself with bare feet. Led to very bad injuries. That was you when you had a scooter. You always wore your jandals. I always wore jandals on the scooter. I had one working brake though. It was the front brake.

Which is a dangerous combination when it's a little bit wet. Front brake, jandals. It's a trifecta of craziness. There was that time I fell off and people just drove around me. That's right. Literally lying on the road on a scooter and people drove around me. Like it was the most Auckland thing that's ever happened to me. Yeah.

I was like, they were like, meep, meep, get out of my way, asshole. Gotta get home to fish and chips and ditto! They've cooked it specially! Someone said their dad, famously in the neighborhood, this was a famous injury, was mowing the lawns in jandals and went to put the catcher back on and slipped his foot under it. And it ripped, it just went,

and ripped the top of his, all of his toes off. So not the tip of his toes, the top. It skinned the top of his, all of his toes off. Oh, yeah. So not the tip of his toes, the top. It skinned the top of his... Right, yeah. Knuckles. Yeah, not good. Not good.

Somebody else said, Dad was cleaning the gutter in jandals and Mum said, that's not a good idea and he said, I'll be fine and literally then fell off the roof because of the slipping in the jandals.

Should listen to Mum. Should Mum. Mums do have a habit of being right. Fletch. Vaughan. And Megan. The podcast. Vaughan Alan Smith. Megan. Megan. Louise listen to mum. Should mum. Mums do have a habit of being right. Fletch. Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. Vaughan Alan Smith. Megan. Louise. Papadopoulos.

You've been a bit silly. Want to address something that you've acquired. It's not the right on lawn although that was a bit silly and unnecessary. No, it's not. It's not silly and unnecessary. That was a life dream. That unnecessary. That was a life dream.

That was. That was a life dream realised. Thank you. Thank you for realising. I mean, some people have bigger life dreams, but... Why bother?

Now, Vaughan is very vocal when it comes to other people acquiring things and he doesn't agree with it. He's always like, you're being bloody stupid. You don't need that. Paying for things.

Yeah. I'm vocal about it. Like, did you really need that? If you're paying for it. Because you're a... No one is a tight arse. Yeah. Biting for things. Yeah. I'm vocal about it. Like, did you really need that? If you're paying for it. Because you're a, no one is a tight ass. Yeah. Bit of a tight ass. But would you say that you needed a bike?

A quad, is it a quad bike? It's a quad bike. It's a quad bike. Would you say that you needed that? This was on your snap, on your Instagram story. Yes. It's my new quad bike. It's a Yamaha Big Bear.

Because you're a big bear. Could there be any more fitting brand and bike for me? I'm a big bear. How much did this cost? Nothing. That's my absolute favorite thing about it. So our friends come around on Friday. Yeah.

One of those ones where you pop in and then it turned into a few drinks and stuff. And then we just got chatting and my friend Tristan was like, oh yeah, the neighbours are really annoyed with me because they live in an inner city suburb. He's like, because I bought this four wheel drive motorbike

to take on a hunting trip. But ever since, I've just been driving around the neighbourhood. And they had just parked it on the side of the road. He bought a quad bike? Oh, it's like a few hundred bucks. Like, it's a farm as well.

Oh, God. No, no, no. This is from the 1990s. Oh, okay, right. It's real old school. Yeah, right. And he's like, oh, and ever since, like, I don't really have anywhere to park it. Okay.

Or put it. And I was like, mate, I have got a deal for you. Okay, I need a quad bike because since I got the mower, because they said to me when I got the mower, when you've used it for 20 hours because there's a little hour counter, we'll come out and do a service on it. That'll probably take six months to a year. Well, I'm already at 13 and a half hours.

Have you just been riding around on it? No, I've been doing lots of jobs on it like moving things and filling up the trailer and then a couple of lawn mows and I just tinkered around on it.

You've been driving around the house with the kids around on it. Yeah, we did some trailer rides so you know, it all adds up so I was like,

I need something else to take the load off, keep the hours down on the mower. Yeah. This is great. I've got a shed, you've got a bike

without one. I'll take it anytime you want to take it hunting, you know where itower. Yeah. This is great. I've got a shed. You've got a bike without one. I'll take it. Anytime you want to take it hunting, you know where it is. Yeah. And just like that, over a drink, we settled the deal. Did he wake up in the morning and regret that decision? No, no, no. I went around the next day.

I hired a trailer and went around and picked it up. Right. Okay. Did he know you were coming? Yeah. Okay. Right. It was all good.

We got it up on the trailer with a couple of bits of wood. That was pretty hairy. It was worse that the other room when I got it home and couldn't work out how to get it off the trailer. Right. But got it off. Help. Help.

I said to Shanae, push it, push it. She's like, I am pushing it. I was like, oh, I don't have the brakes on. We'll take that off. And now I've got this awesome motorbike. You're on borrowed time. You're not manly enough to handle all this equipment. You're going to end up,

he's going to come to work with a broken arm or something. I know how dangerous quad bikes are. And even in the news recently, there's been a big thing about how dangerous quad bikes are when people go nuts on them. I'm not even worried. You'd actually have a tiny backyard. What are you doing with this thing?

He's just going to do doughies? Safe doughies. Okay. We call it a cream bun. Just a nice slow doughy. Not quite a doughnut. Not quite a doughnut, but still fun. We are joined on the farm.

I got this message to our Facebook page over the weekend, and it was a heck of a yarn. So I thought, heck, we need to talk to this person on air and try to track down their hero. Okay. Are we going with an alias? Paper or screen? Screen.

Okay, because they're two different names. I thought we were going to be going for an alias. That's my confusion. Right. Jess, good morning. Good morning. Now, you had a harrowing experience last week, didn't you? Yes, yep.

Right, and there's a hero in your life and we need to find them. Yep, definitely. Tell us the story from the start. Okay, so last week on Tuesday morning, I went to the gym before I went to work. Okay. And I was in the shower. Yep. And I got out of the shower, went to go grab my stuff, and everything was gone.

So I must have forgotten to put the padlock on the locker. Oh, my God. So somebody had just taken everything. So, like, my shoes, my clothes, my phone, keys. This is like my worst nightmare. Because when you, if you go for a shower at the gym, you normally go in your undies, don't you? Or wrap it with towel.

Yeah, I had a towel and shampoo. So you take off all your clothes and put them in your locker? Yeah. Even the sweaty gym ones? Yeah. You've got a towel and some shampoo and you come back and all you have is the towel and the shampoo? Yep.

Wow. Oh my god. Standing in the middle of the air, didn't have keys for my flash or an e-postcard or anything. Like, I couldn't contact anybody. Didn't want to go walking around without any clothes. That is crazy. Yeah, it was, yeah, honestly probably one of the most scary things that's happened.

Like, it was very embarrassing. So what did you do from that point? I want to sit down and had a wee cry. Oh, I did. I cried. And there was a lady who was in the changing room. She was just sort of minding her own business, getting ready to go into the gym.

And she must have seen me crying. So she asked if I was okay, and I explained what was happening. So she actually gave me a spare change of clothes out of her car and offered me a ride home. And she was just really good about it and that's sort of why I want to find her because she sort of just I don't know, it was like one of the worst things that probably

happened to me which sounds a bit dramatic but it was terrifying. But you were literally naked and you've got nothing. You've got nothing. Yeah, yeah. And I think the best part of the story is this lady, she's, you know, I'd say she'd be in her, without being rude, in her late 30s. Okay.

She got me back to my flat, and I didn't have a key to get into my house, and she climbed through my bedroom window so I could get the door open. Oh! What a legend! She honestly just made my day, and I don't have any sort of details from her.

I've actually been back to the gym like every day since and I haven't seen her there. But I know she listens to your show in the morning, so I thought if I could reach out and maybe get hold of her. Were we on in her car? What was that, sorry? Were we on in the car on the way back? Yeah, yeah.

She was talking about you guys in the car on the way back. It was, yeah, one of the only things that I sort of remember was, you know, she had the blue car and, yeah, you guys were on the radio. So what city is this in? I feel like she probably wouldn't have forgotten it though. No, I wouldn't forget taking a naked stranger home, would you? No.

Although she did clothe you. So what city was this in? It's in Auckland. In Auckland. Yeah, in Newmarket. Okay, right. So if there's somebody listening or you know of somebody that told you over the weekend or last week of a story where they had to bring home a naked girl because their stuff

got nicked at the gym, then I guess get in touch with us and then we can get you in touch with Jess. Did you even get a name? No. She said her name, but I don't remember it. When you're naked and call yourself been stolen, you do tend to forget people's names. Did she ask for her clothes back once you got inside?

Yeah, she did. She stayed with me for a bit and let me use her phone to call the police and stuff like that so I could put a report in for insurance. Yeah, she actually stayed with me for a bit as well. That's so nice. Like she didn't have to do that, did she? No, no, definitely not.

I don't know what I'd do if like a naked girl at the gym asked me for help. I've just got to do my workout. Good luck. Let me find someone else who can help you. Talk to the staff at the front desk. Oh my God, that's so nice. It's one of those things where you see someone in need, and later on you're like, I really should have helped that person.

I'm terrible at this. I get so flustered when somebody's crying or panicking, and I'm like. I cry too, usually, so I'd just be, like, blubbering myself. I try to help people. Yeah, yeah. You go in, they set you off. There's a whole lot of crying. Okay, well, if maybe you know of somebody

that relayed this story to you last week where they helped someone out, or you are that person, get in touch, 9696 0800 DILES AT M and we can get you in touch with Jess. And also just commend you on what an amazing story. Yeah, what an amazing human you are. Do you have like a lock and everything now, like a combo lock?

Yeah, I had a lock, but it was sitting on the bench. Like I just didn't put it back. So it was on when I was in the gym, but I just didn't put it back on when I was in the gym. So they just literally came along and they saw all your stuff and they're like, I'm going to nick all of it. Yeah, yeah. That's crazy because Shirley at gyms maybe not. Daddy socks and everything.

Like I don't understand it. Maybe not in the changing room, but Jim's have cameras everywhere, right? Yeah. So they took the security footage and couldn't see anyone walking out with it either. So they put it inside their bag. I'm guessing so, yeah. And then took it later. That's crazy, eh?

Some people. Over the weekend, I made some money because I took part in an annual garage sale that happens in our suburb. It's a very well-known. I thought it was a swap meet. No. I thought it was like a neighborhood-wide swap meet, but that's pretty much a garage sale anyway. Because usually when you go to garage sales, it's like, you know, one here and one over there. And, you know, they're all spread apart.

Yeah, you've got to traipse around town. Our whole neighbourhood joins together annually. Everyone does a garage sale. So you can go to one spot. Do you have to? No, you don't have to. You don't get any shade from the neighbours if you don't? Nah.

But our community is pretty into community spirit, which I'm learning. And so I took part. We took part. And we, like, we actually made the most out of all the neighbours that I spoke to. Now, this is how quickly my husband turned such a positive into such a negative. Okay. As we made, like, hundreds of dollars. Okay.

How much is hundreds of dollars? Just over 700 bucks. That's pretty good. What? What were you selling? Drugs? Did you have that thing where you had, like, people knocking before you had even woken up?

Oh, my God. So I shut the gate because I wasn't ready. I was setting it up, and then someone started opening the gate. I was like, no, the gate's shut because we're not ready. And so they were just, like, waiting at the gate. Garage sailors are a special sort. And really early. They're up at the crack of dawn because they want the best junk.

They want the bargains. Really early. I was still in my PJs. But yeah, so this is the problem. I had lots of clothes and shoes and like jewelry and like just stuff that I've accumulated over a long period of time. How much of it had you worn more than three times? This is where the positive goes to a negative.

So I was like, we made so much money. And he's like, yeah, because some of those, in fact, a lot of your clothes still had tags on. And I was like, oh. Make it. Yeah. No, because I buy things on sale all the time. And I'm like, I'm going to wear that eventually.

And then, I don't know. I just kind of don't, I'm not feeling it. But when something you buy is on sale, is it $70? It varies. But would you say it averages at $70? In the sale, I had a $300 dress that I got for $30 and I haven't worn it. But

man, that was a bargain. How much did you sell it for? Born This is just basic economics. I want to know some answers Some The incoming versus the outgoing Five bucks So it's $300 Elizabeth

You got it for $30 But you sold it for $5 See So that's a $25 loss On something you never wore So I was like We made $700 Positive

This is amazing And then he turns to Vaughn And it's like Yeah But how much did you spend and like how much did we lose after selling all those clothes

essentially he's not wrong Megan yeah okay Mr. Toyboy is the wise one so now I've got like this shopping

like ban and he's like just because something's on sale doesn't mean you need to buy it and he's gone all like negative on the shopping that's very true he's like, just because something's on sale doesn't mean you need to buy it. And he's gone all negative on the shopping. That's very true.

That's very true. He's right, though. That'll last a few weeks and then we'll be back. Be back to normal. Yeah. But also found out about our community spirit because the neighbours came over during the garage sale and said later, wines, our house, three o'clock. Dangerous.

Right. I cannot. So they're a little bit older than us.. So they're a little bit older than us. Well, they're a little bit older than Andrew. Excuse me? Actually, younger than you. One of them has an 18-year-old. You do too, except he's 25 now.

You're a bitch. You're a bitch. So you couldn't keep up with their drinking? Not at all. You're in suburban West Auckland. These aren't amateurs. These women drink, y'all. I think I'm still a little bit hungover.

I went home at 10.30 in a state. And they were like, on for next weekend. I was like, not if I want to survive this neighbourhood. They're like Jehovah's Witnesses. They come knocking for wines and you're like, pretend we're not home. Stop everything. Call now to win with ZM's Secret South. Mosh Monday.

It's time for Mosh Monday. We do this every Monday morning. We go back to somebody's emotional teenage years, a moment in time. And every song we've used so far is on our, we've got a soundtrack, we've got a playlist on Spotify. Mosh Monday, spelt like mosh. M-O-S-H.

M-O-S-H. Yeah, Monday. Good morning, Amy. Amy's. That was Zach. You've still got Zach locked in. M-O-S-H. Yeah. Monday. Good morning, Amy. Amy. Hello. That was Zach. You've still got Zach locked in. I've still got Zach locked in.

There we go. Good morning, Amy. Oh, hang on. Amy, hello. No, one more time. One more time. No, I did. Oh, Amy, good morning.

There you go, granddad. That's my first day. Hi, Amy. Sorry about that. That's my first day. It's a new phone system. It's a new button or something. No, it's not. It's not. It's It's a new phone system. It's a new button or something. No, it's not. It's not.

It's been here the whole time, hasn't it? Yeah. All right, Amy, we're going to go back to, how old were you when this song meant something to you?

16. 16. Oh, good emo years. Okay, so why was this song emotional to you? Because it, I went into womanhood, if that makes sense, but I didn't know what

that was. I lived a really sheltered life. So, yeah, I got my period for the first time. You said you lived a sheltered life. No one had explained that this was going to happen? No. Oh my God.

Yeah, you would. You'd be like. I was in shock and blood was everywhere and yeah. Yeah. But I knew about it, but when it happens, you're just like, oh, my God. And then I only found out that it happens every month. I was like, what? For how long?

It was horrible. I was crying. And you know that movie Carrie? I felt like her. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Crazy blood everywhere. Right, okay? I felt like her. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Crazy, bloody, weird. Right, okay. It's just madness.

Yeah. It just happened and I was in shock and, oh, it's horrible. And yeah, it was a really tough time. So this is the song you remember? Well, yeah, whenever the song comes on, it just reminds me of like flowing. Yeah, right. Well, I mean, we all know how it works, but it need flowing stuff. Yeah, right. Well, I mean, like, we all know how it works.

We don't need to be. Yeah, that's true. Right, okay. I mean, this is a great opportunity. Kids in the car, explain this to them, because you've just heard what a god-awful surprise it is when it just comes unannounced. And there's no, like, it lasts for a few days.

Yeah. Okay, well, Amy, going into womanhood, would you like to introduce your mostosh Monday song for us all? This is embarrassing. Yeah, today's Mosh Monday is Portafull from TLC. Actually, yeah, right. Yeah, right, gotcha. Yeah, quite literal here, yeah.

Roger that. I was expecting a story like always about a boyfriend and they break your heart. And this song was there to console you, but no. She thought she was straight up dying, not even like a broken heart. She was saying her goodbyes. You turn to waterfalls when you're dying?

Okay. All right, thanks, Amy. It's Mosh Monday, TLC Waterfalls, ZM. ZM. Doesn't realize he hurts us so much But all the praying just ain't helping at all Cause he can't seem to keep himself out of trouble So he goes out and he makes his money the best way he knows how Another body laying cold in the gutter. Listen to me. Don't go chasing waterfalls.

Please stick to the rivers and the lakes that you're used to. I know that you're gonna have it your way or nothing at all. But I think you're moving too fast. I think you're moving too fast It's Motion Mondays on ZM TLC Waterfalls. If you've got a song you would like to nominate for Motion Mondays, you can register at ZM online. Cracker.

Did a lot for water safety too. Huge amount. Yeah. Untold amounts. Can't trust them, waterfalls. No. You just don't know. And stick to the rivers and the lakes. But even rivers can be deceiving.

Look before you jump in. Definitely. I had a mate dive into the Waikato once. I mean, that's crazy enough in itself, but he dived straight into a log. Oh, my God. A submerged log. A submerged. Okay, right.

It was never quite the same. I don't know, again, if that was the dong on the head or the work in a river water. Or the water quality. Yeah, mixture of both. Now, on Friday, we were very excited as a show that Mama Jane, Caitlin's mum, was going to get to meet the boyfriend,

who has the official title of boyfriend now after there was a discussion between the two. Because if you don't know, producer Caitlin... You don't know, producer Caitlin... You don't know that I've got a boyfriend. She's got a boyfriend. She's got a boyfriend. So, how did it go?

Because what was the plans? Friday night drinks, Saturday night dinner? Friday was just really quick because we had to go to the cricket. So that was just drinks, but my friend was there as well, so she kind of made it all about him. Well, not in a bad way, but my friend was there as well so she kind of made it all about him. Well not in a bad way but it was like there wasn't that much time for

like mother boyfriend chat. Right. But yeah she did text me and she was like he's so lovely. So that was cool. So they hadn't really like. Yeah. And then on Saturday night we went out for full main meal. Was it just the three

of you? Just the three of us. That's intense. How many courses? Oh, no. Like, we've got sharing plates, so. Oh, yeah. Right. To bus.

Yeah, and he doesn't eat fish, but he wanted to impress mum, so he ate some fish. Why doesn't he eat fish? He just doesn't like fish. I don't like fish either. So he ate just to impress your mum? Well, he was like, oh, I'll try some. Was she on the fisheries commission or something?

No, you don't want to appear fussy in front of like... Caitlin's mum is sea lord. You don't like fish, do you? Anyway, that aside. So yeah, no, it was really nice. And she definitely approves of him. And he said all the right things. Did she ask any like full on questions?

She pretended to, but then kind of was like, so tell me the answer. Just like, you know, like money and stuff. Well, no, no, not money. She didn't ask him if he wanted like children or anything? No, no, no, no, no, no. But she was asking him about his family

and he said that his mum likes running and she was like, I like running too. And then I was like, mum, don't get ahead of yourself. Like, you guys aren't going to go on runs together. They can go for a run before the wedding, the morning of the wedding.

Oh my God, okay. They can go for a run together. And yeah, she did end up messaging him yesterday. What on? What on? Well, no. Facebook. Yeah.

They're Facebook friends now. And because I jokingly said like, I was like, oh, mum really likes you. And he's like, great, I'm in. And I was like, careful, because she'll start messaging you as a joke. And then she actually did message him. But are they friends on Facebook? Oh, my God, I don't know.

Well, they must be if they're messaging. No, you can just message, like, oh, this is too much. Because now your mum gets to go right back to, like, 2008 when he joined Facebook and see what he's been up to for the last 11 years. Yeah. Does your mum follow him on Instagram? Have you checked? I don't know. Nah, I'm going to block her from everything. I'll just block her. Right.

Did she ask any tough questions? Well, this was the only downfall of the meetings. Right. Well, I got really sweaty, so that was a downfall. Mum's like, Caitlin, you're sweating. And like gave me a tissue and made me like wipe my...

Anyway, we... I don't even know how this came about. I think Mum was trying to be cool, but she was like, oh, well, Caitlin won a pole dancing competition back in school. And I was like, what?

Wait a minute. Why was there a pole dancing competition at your school? No, I know. Well, I was at like high school. I couldn't even remember. Didn't you go to a Catholic school? Yeah, no. Yeah, diocesan.

Anglican or something. Anglican. I don't know. And mum was like, yeah, and she won this towel. And I was like, I can't even remember that happening. And I won a towel. You won a towel? And so I was there at a pole.

And mum was like, yeah, I'd always talk about this and I was like, mum, not in front of the boyfriend and then later that night so he's like, oh, so you pole dance

and I was just like, no, I don't even know where that came from. Apparently I was good at pole dancing and mum remembered it. I just think it's still amazing

there's a pole dancing part of the curriculum associated with school. Well, no, I don't think, I think it was like extracurricular. Like pole fitness. I don't think it's still amazing. There's a pole dancing part of the curriculum. Associated with school. Well, no, I don't think. I think it was like extracurricular. Like pole fitness. I don't think it was like an exam. They were like the strip joint.

They were like doing a recruiting joint. No, like pole fitness, right? Like I wasn't being dirty. Has Timaru got a high proportion of strippers now because of this? I don't know. Pole fitness. No, we do pole fitness. It's intense,

but I've never thought of it like being in high schools because there is a sort of a... An origins of sexual nature, right? I think there was a pole at a party that we had in the shed once and...

Well, you know, because it's true. Yeah, and all these guys were around and they were like throwing money at me. It was a great party. Nothing like that.

And then the guy took me in the van back to party. Nothing like that. I was just showing off my... And then the guy took me in the van back to school. So it was all... Oh, my God. It was all great. I got $10 and a towel. Yeah. And apparently I was the winner.

And Mum was so proud. And I won a towel, yeah. Mum, yeah. Could we take some calls now? Our text machine's down. I don't know why. But could we take some calls now? 0800-DARLS-IT-IN.

Yeah, or you can tweet us. Or you can Facebook inbox us. Or you can message us on Instagram. Any way you want to get in touch with us that you can possibly think of. Give us a call. 0800 DARS at M. We want to hear about those embarrassing things that parents

have said when they've met your partner for the first time. So one little weird tidbit they might feel happy to share. Did your parents drop you in it with Mr. Toyboy? It wasn't too embarrassing, just that I did clown college. She just said that I'm a qualified clown. Wait, I don't know this. I didn't know this.

I did clown. What, like an NZQA qualification? It was part of our drama thing. We had to do an extra curricular thing. At high school? Yeah. Didn't the guy in the van come pick you up, did he? Take you to a barn full of clowns.

That's weird, but it is Nelson. That's harder than you think. Strippers and Mott are a little bit different. Take you out to Mochawaka, get you up there, ride around on a unicycle, do some stilt stuff. Wow. Okay, well, 0800DARLS.M, what did your parents say to your new partner on the first meeting?

FEM. We're talking about when your parents have dropped you in it upon meeting your new partner. Caitlin's mum told new boyfriend that Caitlin won a pole dancing competition at high school. On a towel, apparently. We've still got a lot of questions about that and the curriculum at that Timaru High School.

But, sure. I mean, it sounds fitness. Yeah, yeah. It's great. Hannah, what did your parents say? Well, first time he was meeting the family, came round for family dinner. It was my parents' wedding anniversary. And we were just having a lovely dinner.

My family's quite conservative, but, like, sometimes Dad just pulls out these hilarious kind of anecdotes. Anyway, we go, oh, you know this time 38 years ago your mother turned to me and said is it time to take my clothes off now at dinner at dinner and um we had a code where things got really awkward and um it was malarkey and um my, now husband, he did marry into the family after all of that. Right. I said, I was like, malarkey, malarkey, malarkey.

So not even subtle about this code word. No. Just get me out. Just get me out of here. Wow, but I mean... And my mum was mortified. My sister-in-law was like, in the 10 years I've been part of this family, that is it.

That is, that's great. But then that's good to know. If he hears that from her, then in 10 years, that's as bad as it's gone. Exactly. Hey, thanks for your call, Hannah. Sam, what happened on meeting the parents? Hi. I brought my mum around.

Sorry, I brought my partner around to meet my mum first time. I'm like, she's really nice. You know, you'll get on with her well. Walk up the stairs, she sees them and she's like, if you're looking for a housewife, she's not it. And that was it. Jeez. Wait, is this mum's way of saying my daughter's a career woman? Or is it mum's way of saying she's useless at cooking and cleaning?

Basically, she's useless at cooking and cleaning. I'd be, mum, you're really not selling me here. Wow. Thank goodness he didn't want a half-life because we're still together. Oh, good man. Happy, happy times.

All right, thanks you, cool Sam. Some messages in. Somebody said, the worst it got when my parents met my partner first date um dad said you got something in your eye and he said no he's i've got one eye and that his name is nicholas and dad as quick as a quick as said like saint nick eilis oh which i'm sure he'd heard before. Yeah. But if he hadn't, that's pretty good from Dad on the fly.

Yeah, yeah, that is. Alana, what happened when the parents met the new partner? Well, it wasn't my mum, but it was at my auntie's house. Yeah. She went up to him to give him a cuddle, welcome him to the family and everything. Yeah. And she proceeded to reach down,

grope his bum, stepped back and said, oh yeah, he'll do, and then walked off. I was so mortified. Auntie! Well, that didn't your parents... Yeah, my mum gave my husband a pinch on the bum first meeting.

Yeah, but was it like a full hand grope? No, I don't think so. It's a little finger. It's a little finger. It was so bad. Double handed? Yeah, no, like she went in. Oh, wow. Nice, firm.

Keep him. Keep him, Alana. Auntie. Speaking of grabbing. Thanks, Alana. And Auntie, somebody apparently on the first meeting of the boyfriend went up to the girl who was part of the family and the auntie grabbed her boobs and said, now if you're going to be with her for a long time, these and grabbed her boobs turn into these and grabbed her own boobs

and the boyfriend was like, okay, okay, okay. I don't know what you want me to do. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Today's fact of the day is about a syndrome that I'd never heard of. Okay. But it does exist and isn't just associated with breastfeeding, which is what it originally was thought to be. There is a syndrome called sad nipple syndrome.

Okay. Where the touching of one's nipples does not excite them. It gives you an intense smearling of sadness. Oh, actual sad nipples. You actually were like, touch. I just want you to do that. I think you'd know by now. Yeah.

Yeah. Wasn't there, was it you saying there's that spot if someone massages you that makes you sad? What are you going to talk about? There's a point. There's a point. No, didn't your mother-in-law say this? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

She gives you massages. Is it the sacrum? I can't remember the name of it. But for some people, if you like massage it, She gives you massages. Is it the sacrum? I can't remember the name of it. But for some people, if you like massage it, it brings them back like traumatic repressed memories. Yeah, right. Yeah, she said when she was at massage school, they learned how it's a really powerful area

because for some people it just like triggers trauma or remembering trauma or just feeling intense sadness. But this is like the nipple. This was believed to be a situation with breastfeeding for a long while. But then when investigated further, apparently it's just a syndrome that some people have. Because I guess the pleasure center of your brain that may find it nice if someone was to touch it, you know, it's all emotions. So people are wired differently and they get a feeling of sadness.

That's crazy. Yeah. I've just had a little Google. Yeah, I was going to have a test for sad nipple, but I guess you're just sad if you touch it, right? Is there anything more to that test? But does someone else have to touch it because you don't feel anything when you touch your own?

It's like tickling yourself. But it's a lot. A lot of the stories and articles on the Google search are all linked to like breastfeeding in community and mum groups

and that kind of thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, I mean, that's probably the time of your life you're most likely to have regular nipple touching

and interaction and stimulation. Yeah, sure. But then it happens to people outside, women who haven't breastfed or have passed the breastfeeding stage have reported it. Does it happen to guys? Yes. Oh, yeah, sure. But then it happens to people outside, women who haven't breastfed or have passed the breastfeeding stage have reported it. Does it happen to guys?

Yes. Oh, yeah, okay. And to men. Okay, wow. Happens to men as well. So sad nips is a thing. Sad nipple syndrome is a thing. Wow.

I feel like it needs a day. I don't know if they want to whip around with a bucket or anything. It's just an idea. Because if you were out there with a bucket that's a collection for sad nipple syndrome, my immediate thing would be to look at your nipple and then that's uncomfortable for everybody. Yeah, it is.

Yeah. Or even a T-shirt that said something on it about sad nipple. You'd read the logo and it would look like you were looking to see if their nipples look happy or sad. I don't know how you could tell. Megan just looked at mine.

I know because they're a little bit erect. I think what you do is you get a fridge box and just put a hole in and just hold your bucket out if you were collecting for sad nipple syndrome. You don't need to be in a whole fridge box. Yeah, no, you're in the whole box. You just cut a bit out for your head and the bucket. Oh, yeah.

Maybe a shorter box. I'm just trying to think what appliance comes in a sort of a three-quarter box. A dishwasher. A bar fridge. Too big for a bar fridge and taller than a dishwasher. I don't know. Like a really small fridge freezer? Yeah.

Okay. Maybe, or a chest freezer on the side. Well, these are all things that the Sad Nipple Foundation can deal with in their own time. How good was going and getting a big box when you were a kid and just cutting a hole in it and making it into like a playhouse and then leaving it outside and it rained and it would like a playhouse. Yeah. Then leaving it outside and it'd rain and it would fall down. You'd be very upset about your cardboard box

meeting a grizzly, you know, end in the rain. Good times. Oh, great times in the cardboard box as a kid. I'm not going to get one on the way home today, actually. Just for fun. Just a chest freezer one. You've got to get a big one these days. So today's fact of the day is there is a syndrome

called sad nipple syndrome. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day.