ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Megan Podcast - February 13 2019

Episode Date: February 12, 2019

Megan posted the wring letter, the gross things that people are proud of and why is Cadbury so angry?See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Welcome one, welcome all to the Fletch, Vaughan and Megan podcast brought to you by Spark. Get four gigs of bonus data on Spark's $49 prepaid value pack. Now, on with the podcast. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. Thanks, Anya. Good morning. Welcome to the show, Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. More likely to fall for scams on Valentine's Day? The single. Because you're feeling bony. What, like for a fake profile or something and it's a Russian scammer or?

Yeah, and they're like, send me some money or whatever. Huh. Yeah, I don't know. Like, just watch auntie who's just been through a divorce and stuff, I suppose. She's a bit silly on Facebook most of the time anyway. Yeah. So maybe that's because, you know, I'm always confused on the whole, Qantas is giving away 100 first class tickets around the world.

All you've got to do is like this page and share this status. I'm always like, what is, how do they scam you here? I mean, apart from making you look like a fool. But maybe you have to put in your details, your login? No, I don't think so. Or your personal details, and that's how they can start to scam you? I think you literally just have to like that post and share it. And like the page.

But maybe that's how, if you like those pages, you're easily identified for a future scam. Yeah, as gullible. Yeah, as likely to fall for a little something something. All right, you lot, listen up. It's story time. Three news headlines for story time. As always, Vaughan and Megan,

pick one of the following three headlines. Headline one, airline safety concern. Headline two, funding cuts police, all of them. And headline three, police, please drive through to the flaming second window. Oh, okay, so a fire at a fast food outlet? Yes. The, they cut. All of them.

So what, they just all lost their jobs? Police funding's gone, so everybody lost their jobs. Or maybe, yeah, they didn't get paid that month. Or there was some sort of transactional error, which led to no money going into the account. What was the first one? Was that the first one or the second one? Airline safety concern.

There we go. That's me. You'd like that one? Yep, airline safety concern. All right. We go to Winnipeg. Oh, no, that's where, no, hang on, that's where the fast food restaurant was on fire. I clicked on the wrong story.

Nearly gave way to him, I said. It's very cold in Winnipeg at the moment. It would be actually quite nice to stand beside a roaring McDonald's. Well, it does smell all right, I reckon. We go to Alaska. Also, very cold this time of year. Mucho's cold. Yes, and there is a concern over airline safety after a

flight there. Now, in this part of, and I guess in a few places, there are these short little commuter flights, because they're towns by giant lakes, and it might take a couple of hours to drive around the lake, but it only takes a couple of minutes to fly across. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So this was a four-minute commuter flight.

Okay. Four minutes? Four minutes. So up, down. Literally goes up and down. Is this the shortest commercial flight in the world? Well, it's not classed as a commercial flight because it's a tiny aircraft. Oh, okay.

So it's a Piper Cherokee 6. I believe it can only seat like six people. Yeah. Yeah. So the concern for airline safety here is after a 16-year-old boy, after takeoff, took control of the small plane

while he was seated next to the pilot because that is one of the seats. It is. Just imagine the littlest plane you can. Yeah, they're tiny. Yeah. Tiny. He apparently took control of the stick Like, just imagine the littlest plane you can. Yeah, they're tiny. Yeah. Tiny.

He apparently took control of the stick and then caused it to enter a steep climb and then dive towards the ground before the pilot got control after a passenger grabbed him by the throat and pulled him back. Oh, my God. Pulled him by the neck and, yeah, pulled him back. The pilot stabilised the aircraft.

They returned and a state trooper arrested the 16-year-old. What the hell? Crazy. Apparently, the airline will still continue to allow passengers to sit in the front seat. Did he just get overexcited? I don't know. Not the grabby ones. Not the grabby ones, yeah.

My God. That plane. Have you ever been in a tiny plane grabby ones, yeah. My God. That plane. Have you ever been in a tiny plane like that? They'll tell you where to sit sometimes. Yeah. Because they'll look at you. Yeah. Don't they make a judgment call on how close they want you to the steering stick?

No, they distribute your weight. I know. And if they put you somewhere like opposite a real like tiny person, you're like, okay, ouch. Yeah, ouch. No, it's a... Go on. Oh, no, I went on one of the... It was a little bit bigger than this,

like a flying caravan looking plane. Yeah. And you had to weigh yourself at check-in. This is in Costa Rica. And I was just like, excuse me. Ouch. Like I'm on holiday. I've been in the middle of the epinatus.

Yeah, I don't need to be weighed. And yeah, they weigh you and your bag so that you don't want to be earlier. You don't want to be in a... You know, she was in an overloaded. Well, that was actually not a human. That was a cargo issue. Yeah, well, that's the thing.

It was an incorrectly loaded cargo section, wasn't it? And yeah, when I went skydiving, they made me sit over the wing. They called me wing load. They were like, wing load. Pointed at me and was like, wing load. As I was walking out of the plane, I was like, I heard that. And then my friends that I went skydiving with and my father called me wingload for a long time. It's actually quite a cool nickname, really, because you don't know what it means.

And then you kind of have a bit more of a think about it and you're like, oh, fatty. But yeah, it hurt my feelings. You wouldn't be wingload now, though, would you? Well, I think it just all depends on the other passengers. Oh, hell yeah. You weren't fat. They were just really light. No, well, I was tipping the scales at the absolute limit of what you're allowed to be

and still tandem skydive. So yeah, I was wing load. Did you have the smallest tandem skydive instructor? Yeah. At the end when I stood up, he was hanging off my back. When we landed, he was like, just tuck your knees up. And I was like, you're never going to be able to hold me. So when we landed, I put my legs down and stood up into a run.

And he was just on my back like a little possum. I was the mama possum and he was the baby possum. Brilliant. F.M. A woman has discovered that she now has 15 siblings that she didn't know she had. This is going to make Christmas very expensive. That's more than a second family. Like, what has dad been doing? Well, dad has been masturbating a lot.

What into? What do you call it? Like a little tube. Oh, okay. So legitimately he's not just... No, so she is a Chicago woman. She's a twin. So her dad is a sperm donor

and she's known that for a long time. Yeah. But she, his sperm like created twins. So her mum was a divorcee who was single. She got to an age where she was like, look, I'm just going to... Have a kid. Have a kid by a sperm donor.

Okay. And then she passed away when they were both 16. So they were like, okay, we need to find out more about our dad. And so they did an ancestry test and have found out that they have 15 half-siblings. Their dad... But that's also just the 15 half-siblings that had also done Ancestry.com over, right?

Well, because there's a whole lot. There's 23andMe is a big one. And that's like an open source one. That's how they found the Golden State Killer. Oh, right. Through someone he knew uploaded their DNA to 23andMe. I didn't think about that. So that's only people that have done it.

That's only the people who have registered their DNA. And this guy, so they haven't met their father yet, but he's 80. Still going. Still going. So, I mean, over his lifetime, he's obviously been donating his sperm. There could be a bunch of other siblings at this point. But given that she's not had much of a family, she's a new dad, her mum died young,

she's now suddenly had this whole kind of extended family, except they're all different. They're not all intertwined as one family. She's got 15 half siblings. And they probably don't know each other or of each other, which would be you don't want each other. Or of each other. Which would be you don't want to accidentally hook up with your sister.

Or your brother, do you? Your half sister or something accidentally. That's true. But stepsister and stepbrother are okay. I don't. I mean. Frowned upon? Like ethically. Question mark.

But the law says A-OK. Absolutely fine. Which is, yeah. So, because in America you get paid, is that correct? You get paid to be a donor? If what you've got is in shortage. But then surely there has to be a limit on it. Well, no, you go in and you obviously do the test or whatever and you've got a low BMI, you've got blonde hair, blue eyes.

I think if you're a middle-aged white man, I was like, well, there's bound to be lots of those. There's lots of them. But more specific things. Right. Like athletic, smart. Yeah, no family history of health issues. Right.

Yeah. But then it gets out of control and you have 15 half-sisters. Do they have to disperse his sperm? Because otherwise, around the country. Michigan just has like a whole bunch of his babies. Do you know what I mean?

And you could legitimately just hook up with your half brother. Oh, you're saying geographically they should send them around. Yeah. Because you're not to know. Because if you're going to live in Chicago and never move to LA.

Yeah. You know, they could send live in Chicago and never move to LA. Yeah. You know, they could send it down there and. They might be like, oh my gosh, I was from a sperm donor too. And you're like, me too. And then you bond and then you like get married and whoops a day. So he's like, that's not your fault. And then you, yeah, you've got to. Yeah.

Okay. You know, because I recently heard that, you know how There's this big thing that All these people in Asia Have a direct line to Genghis Khan Yeah And I was like How is that possible? Because he is but one man

But he was We've all eaten at that Mongolian restaurant And everybody takes on Some DNA of The Mongolian warlord If you eat at the Mongolian barbecue

Yeah So apparently He Because I was just thinking, how many wives did he have? But apparently he didn't, he just had like concubines and wives and he would just sleep with all of them in the aim of getting them pregnant. So none of them were like full brothers and sisters, but all were descendants of Genghis Khan

and then they went out and populated and populated and populated. So, you know, when most of us stick to one, two or three partners to have offspring with throughout our lives, that was kind of

his average Friday night. Sounds exhausting to me. Yeah, but it's very cold in Mongolia. True. In the yurts. And he's always full of barbecue,

which is love making food. I think that's the last thing barbecue. Yeah. Which is love making food. What? I think that was the last thing I'd want to do is make love after a giant Mongolian buffet. Yeah. Although they didn't do buffets back then, did they? No, that was they cooked it in the shield. Oh, so one night.

Because the Mongolian wok could be used as a shield in battle. They'd put it over fire and cook all the food in there. Oh, you wouldn't want to be halfway through dinner and the war siren sounds. I know. You'd tip it on your head. Yeah. You've got to put be halfway through dinner and the war siren sounds. I know, you've got to be. You tip it on your head. Yeah.

You've got to put the leather straps back in and you're like, it's so hot. And sticky. FEM. ZM. A passenger is being sued by Lufthansa. Oh, Lufthansa. It's a German airline. Okay.

Lufthansa. Normally it's people suing airlines, isn't it? Yeah, but if any airline's going to sue people, it'll be the German one. I thought it would be American one because they love to sue, don't they? Yeah. True. They're seeking to sue a passenger because the passenger purposely booked a cheaper ticket with no intention of turning up for the final leg of their journey.

Now, it's hard to kind of explain this in New Zealand because it's such a small country. But when you travel in Europe or America, say you're travelling to somewhere that might not be a main hub, it can be cheaper to go like one or two stops as opposed to going direct. So you might get a cheaper ticket. Right.

Use some places, use some place names. If you were to do it in New Zealand, say you had to go Auckland, Wellington, Wellington, Christchurch, Christchurch, Invercargill. Are you saying to get, rather than going direct Auckland to Christchurch, like a one direct flight, it would be cheaper to book the four stage one and then just not go to Invercargill? If you wanted to go to Christchurch.

That's an example. It happens in America lots because of, you know, there's lots of hubs in main cities. And you bounce around them because there's less demand for those flights. They're cheaper. Exactly. And if you don't mind doing the stopover, then yeah, it's cheaper. But then you don't have to use the last leg.

If you've got carry-on bags, you just get off and it's fine. But the airline then loses out because... That's a seat that hasn't been used. That's a seat that hasn't been. So they wanted to make an example of this guy. Oh. And apparently it got thrown out, but they have been allowed to appeal it.

But it doesn't work. If you try doing this, it doesn't work if you miss the first section of your flight. Yeah, because then it doesn't... Because they'll cancel the entire rest of the ticket. Oh, okay. So it only works if you don't use the last leg. Right.

But yeah, quite often it can be cheaper, especially if you're travelling around like America and Europe to use these. So say you wanted to go, I don't know, London to Amsterdam. Yeah. But there was a flight that was cheaper and it went like London, Amsterdam, somewhere else, Switzerland. Yeah. Just get off in Amsterdam.

Yeah. Save money. But what do they care? You still technically paid for it. Well, yeah, I know. I don't know. You're just saving money, aren't you? And they're just upset

because they could have charged more. And they're just losing out because they can't sell the seat because they expect you to be at the airport for the flight. How much were they looking to sue this person for? Well, it doesn't say.

And it doesn't... It's weird. Like, surely the amount they were looking to recoup wasn't enough to warrant the lawyers... No, they just want to make an example because apparently people are doing this. There's actually websites that specialise in this.

Right. Like, you can search for destinations and they'll search flights and say, here's what you need to do, here's what you need to book. But you could just make up and say, like, I had to get off here because emergency uh something

happened i know i need to go to the doctor skip like i did a poo in my pants you didn't want me for the last leg yeah i was not in good shape but then i get because didn't brad brie from brain clint she tried to get off the plane and was it brisbane coming back from she went to a movie thing and was it china or something yeah it was me and coming back from, she went to a movie thing in, was it China or something? Oh yeah, it was Metro Versailles. And they lost the plot because she had a bag

underneath the plane and they can't fly if you're not on board. Yeah. They can't leave your bag on so that to get her bag off and I think they charged her and stuff.

Yeah. So yeah, they don't like it but yeah, Skiplagged is the website if you want to, if you're booking overseas flights and it might get you

a bit cheaper. Have you ever done that? Nah. Well that's surprising. Yeah. I feel like that would've been a bit cheaper. Have you ever done that? Nah. Well, that's surprising. Yeah. I feel like that would have been a what-haves. Nah, because I just book it ages out and get a direct flight. Yeah, right.

Rather than last minute. Rather than, yeah, bounce around like you do. From the ZM Think Tank, this is the top six. It's in the sky a lot of the time, reflects the sun's light, and when it's full, will magically charge your crystals. I am talking, of course, about the moon. Earth's only satellite,

well, only naturally occurring massive satellite that we can see. Yeah. With the naked eye. And it's all up there, and why aren't we on it? That's basically what NASA wants to know. So they are saying within the next decade, a permanent moon base. Imagine charging your crystals on the moon.

They'd go... They'd hum. God, imagine the positive energy you'd have all the time on the moon. And it'd get so charged, it would stop going... And it would be like... God, imagine the positive energy you'd have all the time on the moon. And it'd get so charged, it would stop going... And it would be like... And vibrate. And then what a great place to be.

Yeah. So much energy. So, they want to build a permanent moon base up there. You know, this will really silence those we never went to the moon critics, wouldn't it? Yeah, that's true. Although will really silence those we never went to the moon critics, wouldn't it? Yeah, that's true. Although they could still say we never went to the moon. Sure, we're there now, but you lied before.

I hope they send a flat earther as one of the first people. Oh, yes, can they? So they can just look down at Earth and be like, ah, okay. Okay. Yeah, right, okay. Shut up. Don't even care.

I'm on the moon. Yeah. That wasn't me. Somebody else was a flat earther. It wasn't me, obviously. I mean, the moon. That wasn't me. Somebody else was a flat earth. It wasn't me, obviously. I mean, look at it. Look at it. So the top six jobs that the moon base,

the job openings that the moon base will have. Okay. That you could maybe find at Udo. Udo. Udo. Udo. Udo. Udo.

Udo. Udo. Udo. Udo. Udo. Udo. Udo. Udo.

Udo. Udo. Udo. Udo. Udo. Udo. Udo. Udo.

Udo. Udo. Udo. Udo. Udo. Udo. Udo. Udo.

Udo. Udo. Udo. Udo. Udo. Udo. Udo. Udo.

Udo. Udo. Udo. Udo. Udo. Udo. Udo. Udo.

Udo. Udo. Udo. Udo. Udo. Udo. Udo. Udo.

Udo. Udo. Udo. Udo. Udo. Udo. Udo. Udo. Udo. Udo. Udo. Udo. Udo. Udo. Udo. Udo. Such a suck up to the CEO. Seamless mention of the company's... Did he message you that he's listening? No. Yeah, it's such a... Can we just make sure

some way he hears this audio? Thanks, Caitlin. Get your nose out of his butthole. No. I shan't remove my nose from his butthole. It's a seamless mention of the company's job site. Great employee prospects website. You do.

Dot co dot nz. Why you do you? If we're... Get in there, Fletch. Don't let him get all the glory. You do you Dot co dot nz. Why you do you? Get in there, Fletch. Don't let him get all the glory. You do you. Sing the theme song. It's brilliant.

Right. Theme tune. Sing a theme tune. Number six on the top six jobs on the new NASA moon base. Guy to mow the lawns. I'll put my hand up for it. That would be pretty legit. I'm imagining when we're on the moon, we're going to plant some grass.

Yep. We have to water that. You'll pour the moon, we're going to plant some grass. Yep. It'll be hard to water that. You'll pour the water and it'll all float off into space. So you'll really need to shoot it at the grass. Well, how are you even going to sow the seeds to plant the grass? Poke them in. And put a bit of dirt over the top. Right.

It's going to take a while, mate. And then pat it down. Yeah, right. Yeah, hey, look. It's going to take a little while. You can't take your ride on lawnmower there either. Yeah, just chuck a bit more weight on the sides. Hold it down.

That instant lawn stuff. Have you seen the fields where they grow that stuff? Yeah. Have you seen the machine that picks it up? No. This machine goes along and it literally goes down underneath it and starts. It's like a blade and it rolls it as it goes into those big rolls. And then you've got to keep them moist.

You don't want them drying out in transit. Yeah, I don't have a lawn, but if I did, I'd love that. It's perfect. It's weird what you guys find transit. Yeah, I don't have a lawn, but if I did, I'd love that. It's perfect. It's weird what you guys find sexy. Well, that's nuts, isn't it? Humanity's got to the point where we're like, I could grow grass here or I could just buy it pre-growing. Roll it out like a wallpaper.

I mean, wallpaper, it sounds mental. We've got a roll of paper to stick on the wall. How extravagant of us. Number five on the list of the top six jobs in the new NASA moon base are the butcher slash fishmonger.

Okay, right. Because how are you going to get fresh fish to the moon? Yeah, so would you need that job? Yeah. Oh, right.

That's what I'm saying. It's going to be a really important job. Right. Because you know, when your fish are getting stinky on the way to the moon, you want to,

I don't know. that's up to him. Fair call, yeah. He'll have to source it. Maybe he can get a lake going and put some salmon in it. I don't know. They seem pretty resilient when it comes to fish. Number four on the list of the top six jobs in the new NASA moon base, the rubbish collector.

Yeah. Like you'll be in your moon base and you'll be like, is it a shit sharing on Tuesday? Run down your moon be in your moon base and you'll be like, is it? Oh shit, Sharon, it's Tuesday! Run down your moon driveway in your undies, but you've got to put your helmet on so you can breathe. And you won't be running, you'll be like hopping. Hopping. And you're towing your space wheelie bit and it's like this.

Do you have to like tie it down? I suppose you would. Otherwise the space dogs from next door will probably get into it because you chucked out that fish that you got from the NASA fishmonger. And they're in your bins. Yeah, they're in your bins. Bloody space dogs. Get out of it, you bloody mongrel.

Number three on the list of the top six jobs in the new NASA moon base, the IT person. Just because everybody needs an IT person. Oh, if the internet's not working, why bother going to the moon? Exactly. You want to be able to stream something without the, you know. You're on the moon. You need to get 1080.

Yeah. A 1080 download for sure. Number two on the list of the top six jobs in the NASA Moon Base, the meter reader. Okay. I'm guessing one person could read both the water and the power. They won't have smart meters? Maybe a power smart meter, but not a water smart meter.

Oh, right, okay. Yeah. You knock, you say, hey, look, I'll just read your meter. You are using quite a bit of water. We're on the moon. Calm down. It's just permanent ration. Yeah, we have to be very careful with water.

Got to water my new lawn. Yep. I get it. I get it. Okay, you're cool. You're watering your lawn. That's all good. And the number one job

on the new NASA Moon base in today's top six are fire warden. Because if there's a fire they'll need to put on the hiver's vest. Yep. Be like this way

and lead you out. I guess you assemble out in the moon car park. Sure. And watch the building burn down. But then how are you going to get off, you know? You just have to wait. Probably catch a ride back with the guy

bringing up the fresh fish, actually. That's probably the best way to get back to Earth. He must be moving quite quick. That is today's top six. This story has amused me today. There's such thing as interiors therapist. Her name is Suzanne, and she's gone through someone's house

and explained why the house was repelling men. And what you need to look out for if you feel like your house repels men too. Have you changed your house, Caitlin? Is this why you've got a man now? Did you get rid of some things? Well, I've definitely hidden all the self-help books. Oh, you were big on self-help books. They're there.

I've just hidden them so you can't see them. It's interesting you should say that because that's one of the things she said here. So books that have depressing titles and self-help books. So, you know, like if they have titles like Little Deaths or The Suspect or anything that sounds a bit like scary or depressing. Or Help Me, I'm single. Yeah, run, fat, why?

Why me? Why? Apparently that makes them turn and run the other way. There is another one that I find very amusing. Cactuses. I've got a cactus. Too spiky. Actually, I threw it out because it went wonky.

It started growing like, what's that, horizontal. How did it do that? I don't know. I thought you had real issues. Your plants are all just trying to run away. I know. Like, literally. Just trying to get out the door.

Yeah. So it went up and then 90-degreeed it. Well, it was up when I bought it, and then it went all floppy. Oh, yeah. And it just was like horizontal. Is there a cactus repelling men? and I bought it and then it went all floppy. Oh yeah. And it just was like horizontal. Is there a cactus repelling men? Unsure.

I mean, I can't remember before the cactus. I'll run some stats. It's been around for so long. Also, images of single women. So she went around someone's house and said, in this house,

there's 51 images of single women. It sends the message that she's happy on her own and doesn't need a man in her life. Not necessarily of her, just images of like, you know, like maybe a portrait of a female face or something. Right. This is so ridiculous. But she believes that it is what you should do. She also said clothing wise, throw away T-shirts with prints, especially of single women's face on it.

Same reason. Who's wearing a print? Do you ever print with a single woman's face on it? With a single woman on it somehow. Okay. Do you ever get, if you walked into a house, would you even notice that stuff?

Not really, but maybe you notice it subconsciously. Subliminally. Yeah. Yeah. really, but maybe you notice it subconsciously. Subliminally. Yeah. Yeah. Maybe it is just you take it on, but you don't really notice it. If there was an axe in the kitchen or, you know, like. Yeah, I mean, that you would probably take in fully consciously.

What's an axe doing inside? That's an outside tool. Yeah. But apparently there's some weight in this, so. Right. If you want men to stay in your house, hide the books. Get rid of the cactuses and the self-help books

and the images of single women. Is that all? There must be other things. This is a good tip if you want them to get out of your house. Bring out the self-help books and the cactuses. Well, it was over the weekend a Fox News host said that it has been 10 years since he intentionally washed his hands. Since he went out of his way to be like, oh, my hands are dirty.

I should wash them. Pete's his name. But I'm guessing he showers every day. Yeah. At least. Yeah. But because he can't see germs, they're not a real thing. So he goes to the toilet and doesn't wash his hands?

Yes. Yeah, pretty much. He admitted that. That's what he said. So there would be people that have come to the station and met him and shook their hand that's just like, oh. Yeah, oh, God. He didn't wash his hands.

Yuck. Yeah. That's real grim. Yeah, real grim. Has he never had a time with some budget toilet paper? I don't want to go into too much more, but you get what I mean. Well, I guess he can see that. Right.

So that would mean he would wash his hands then. Maybe he would like wash it off or brush it off or. Right. God forbid, wipe it straight on a towel. Yeah, I forbid that towel would need a wash. But yeah, he said, I can't see them, so they're not real. And then thought it was like real cool. And then there's.

And he's like like I just made a resolution I'm just going to say whatever pops into my mind this year. Maybe don't. Cool man well I mean this has been a great start to your resolution because now everybody doesn't want to touch you because you're filthy. Because of what's gone viral hasn't it? Yeah. Well he

might be going bacterial too if he doesn't start washing his hands. But you know, every now and then you hear someone say something and they think it's like a cool life accomplishment, but it's quite gross. Like I knew a guy once, he's like, I haven't washed my hair for probably,

to be honest, probably six months. And everyone was like, that's gross. Why? Like, that's not cool. It's not. That's your laziness. Yeah, it was very greasy. Because I know there's those people that say they don't shampoo and condition,

but they, like, do something to their hair, and then after a little while, their hair's natural oils do something. And then naturally cleans itself. Yeah, what are you doing there? You still put your hair underwater and, like, I don't know, you've got to do something. But this guy looked like he hadn't washed his hair for six months. It was very greasy, very slick.

Yuck. But I was wondering if anybody has one of these people at work that tells you gross things and thinks it's really like an accomplishment. Well, there are the people that don't use deodorant, but then they use natural deodorant, don't they? Sometimes they don't use any. But sometimes they don't use any. They're like, I don't actually use deodorant.

You're like, okay, that's for the rest of us. Maybe're like, okay. Just for the rest of us, maybe you should. Even if it's natural, yeah. Yeah, we share a desk. It'd be really great if you could. Yeah. But yeah, I was just wondering this morning, I800DialZM or text 9696, things that people have told you that were gross,

but they thought it was some sort of accomplishment. Oh, cool. Yeah, right. Okay. Like something they don't do to stay clean. Fletch. Vaughn. And Megan. The podcast. Something they don't do to stay clean. Fletch. Vaughn. And Megan.

The podcast. It's Drax Project on ZM. You can see them this weekend, Saturday, New Zealand's only floating festival. Thanks to Tip Top Trumpet. ZM's float and there are still tickets available. A great lineup. There's the Bomb Comp Tower as well. Lake Tikitapu.

It's a beautiful spot. You can day trip it from anywhere in the country. So get your mates together this Saturday. And any truth to the rumour that Fletcher's sunscreen stand will be open again this year, where you'll be applying sunscreen to people with your soft hands. What are you doing? Lavishly applying thick lashings.

That's your worst nightmare. It's my worst nightmare. And then after we puts sunscreen on you, he'll give you a hug. If you see him there, ask for him to rub in your sunscreen. Yes, if you see me to Float, I say, hey, I've got sunscreen,

but I can't reach this spot and get him to rub sunscreen on you. And he loves hugs. Because what sort of asshole would turn down someone who just doesn't want to get burnt and get melanoma? Yeah.

You wouldn't dare say no, would you? We're putting on Float. You have a responsibility to look after those guys. Yeah, to put sunscreen on people. It's so, melanoma. Yeah. You wouldn't dare say no, would you? We're putting on float. You have a responsibility to look after those. Yeah, to put their sunscreen on people. It's so, it's just awkward. You've got to touch them and be like. And also. You asked me to rub sunscreen on your back once. It was very, very quick.

If there's no sunscreen, just ask for a hug. He loves those. Dab, dab, dab. Can we get spray sunscreen? So we don't have to touch people? That's a great, like a weed, like a weed spraying backpack situation, but it's full of liquid sunscreen. Yes. We'll give it a good rinse after the roundup. Thank you. That's a great, like a weed spraying backpack situation, but it's full of liquid sunscreen.

We'll give it a good rinse after the roundup. Thanks, everyone. Thank you. Talking about this Fox News presenter who admitted to the world that he doesn't wash his hands. Hasn't. Ever. Just doesn't. Has a shower, but doesn't specifically wash his hands. Somebody said,

I actually caught my colleague doing this exact same thing coming out of the toilet from definite number twos. Didn't wash his hands. Hit him up I actually caught my colleague doing this exact same thing coming out of the toilet from definite number twos. Yep. Didn't wash his hands, hit him up about it and he was like, so what?

Most people don't. And I was like, no. So funny. We're adults. Every single person does. JJ, this is a work mate.

What does he do? Hey mate, how you doing? Good. Hey Megan. Hi. Hi. Hi babes.

So, I'm trying to discuss this quite honestly with a Fox reporter actually. Yeah. A quick mate that just refuses to cut his fingernails and he's just got

that real, you know that gritty black stuff just congested under it. Yeah. Oh yeah, and he bites you for months on end. Yeah.

And he just sort of bites it to fix it. Yuck. And he just sort of bites it to fix it. Yuck. And you can just about smell it on his breast when he bites it. Oh. Yeah.

So he just bites them or lets them break and that's how they stay shorter. Yeah. It's pretty nasty. Yeah. That's putting me

off breakfast. Thanks you called, GJ. Joe, this is a work colleague. Yeah. He's putting me off breakfast. Thanks, you're called JJ. Joe, this is a work colleague. Yeah, he's just a dude that I know through cars. Oh, okay. Through cars, okay.

Yeah, through, I don't know, just car enthusiasts. Oh, right, okay. Yeah, yeah. He's a mechanic himself, and he openly admits to people that he only showers three times a week because any more and it messes with his natural oils and he starts to have breakouts and things. Wouldn't it be the other way around? But he's always grubby as, and he just stinks.

Like he's got that, you know, you meet someone and they just have an odour that is like distinctive to them because they always smell like it. Yeah. I think if you're a mechanic, you'd want to be showering every night when you get home. I'm a toolmaker, so I deal with grease and stuff all day and I like constantly

washing my arms and hands because I can't bear the feeling of grease sitting on your skin. Yeah. I'm not going to knock of grease sitting on your skin. Yeah. Oh, yeah. I'm not going to knock out three showers a day sometimes. I'll have one in the morning. And then if you're particularly sweaty during the day, you might have one. And then you'll always have one before bed.

Yeah, of course. What's your excuse? Joe's working with tools. You're just like. I just sometimes have to think about it. I feel very dirty. I think about bacteria and how they're everywhere. And I'm like, I want them off me.

Thanks for your call, Joe. Somebody else said they're a sharer, and there was a competition in their sharing gang called the Black Snake King, and that was for how long you could go without showering as a sharer. Now, I don't know if you guys have ever been in a wool shed when they're sharing. It's always in summer.

Ladollin. Ladollin. But it is sweaty work and these shearers are just like perspiring like nobody's business. To go five days without a shower would just be... You would feel crusty with salt.

You'd feel gross because all the wool gives you... Yeah, the fibres and everything. What about going to bed? You're just like sleeping in there. You might nick a sheep, get blood on you. There's the machinery that's like chucking out grease and stuff. Steph, I was going to say, it's great we've finally heard like, sleeping in there. You might nick a sheep, get blood on you. There's the machinery that's, like,

chucking out grease and stuff. Steph, I was going to say, it's great we've finally heard from a female, but it's about a guy, isn't it? Yeah. It's not very nice, but there's a guy at my work, and he collects his toenails.

What for? He clips them. Yeah, he clips them and then puts them in a jar. What's he going to do with the jar? Well, he actually sent me a photo of it one day and I was like, that's disgusting. Please don't show me that again. And what did he say? He was like, oh, it's cool.

Like, you know, it's something that I'll bring out one day and show everyone. And I was like, oh my God, no. I mean, you just showed a girl trying to impress her and she told you how gross it was. Like, don't. It's not working just showed a girl trying to impress her and she told you how gross it was. Like, don't. Not working, is it?

No, it's not very nice. Oh, yuck. That's so weird that he thinks that's cool. Thanks, Steph. Some chats, my father-in-law proudly announces

that he only uses one pair of underwear a week. Oh, wow. Oh, that's yuck. That's... You just... You need to double check that.

Oh, saggy man balls and sweat and, yeah. Double check that his son's not aware that you have to wear hospital pairs. Hopefully there's that thing he grew up with. You know when you grow up with something and your parents... You think it's normal? Yeah. No, but you're so revolted by it. Oh, yeah.

You kind of go completely the other way. Somebody else said, through marriage, I've inherited a couple of baby boomers. Basically, the in-laws. And they're currently

living with us. Every time they go to the toilet, they skip the hand wash process. I've had heated chats with them about it and how gross it is, but apparently,

I'm just a germaphobe and I'm worried about nothing. It builds up resistance. Yuck. Gross. Just be like, you're touching everything in my house. Just while you nothing. It builds up resistance. Yuck. Gross. Just be like, you're touching everything in my house. Just hold your hair, wash your hands. Stop it.

So it was last week that Cadbury posted that there would be a reduction in the size of king-sized chocolate bars and the nation was not happy. Boo. Boo, we said. Boo. We said boo. The company that owns Cadbury, Mondelez International, they do, I just clicked on their brands in New Zealand.

You'll know Cadbury, obviously. Belvita, they do Oreo. Philadelphia Cream Cheese. Oh, I do love that. The Natural Confectionery Company. The Sour Patch Kids and Ritz Crackers. A whole lot of brands. They own all of them.

And another one they own is Pascal. Lollies. Pascal. Pascal. Yeah, I don't know. I don't know why I said Pascal. I was trying to sound flash. Pascal. Pascal lollies. And of course all, you know, iconic. The jet planes. Wine gums.

Fruit jubes. Iconic New Zealand lollies. We've had them. We've grown up with them, haven't we? Yeah. Well, shock horror, they've just reduced the packet size. And this is not a warning. It's just happened. And they didn't say anything.

They didn't say anything. People have just been in the supermarket and noticed the smaller packets. For more, we cross now to mathematical whiz Vaughan Allen-Smith. I'm really balling up the equations here. I honestly can't make heads not tails of it. My writing looks like I'm Russell Crowe

and a beautiful mind, but the maths doesn't stack up. No. Now, from what I can deduct is the new packaging has gone from 240 grams to 180 grams. What? Meaning that it's 75%

of its old size. So a significant drop. So I thought you were going to say like 10 grams or something. No, no, 25. It's a 25% reduction. Yeah, it's a 25% reduction. Now, the price has gone down though, hasn't it? Yeah, it has gone down.

I've just got to divide $2.79 by $3.29 and tell you it's... Hmm. I got 88, so that means 12 would make it to 100. How did you get that right? Okay. Are you trying to figure out if the price reduction is akin to a 25%? It's 25% smaller, but only 12% cheaper. Yeah, okay.

Yeah, cheeky buggers. That's what I'm saying. Do you know what I'm saying? Yeah. So the price has gone down. Sure, the price has gone down by 12%, but it should go down to 20. It's not equal to how much it's been reduced. How much it's gone down.

Yeah. So we're paying more per gram for our goddamn jet planes and jubes. This annoys me more than the chocolate. I feel like this is sneaky because you just did it. And also, I mean, you reduced the price but we've done the maths now and that's just rude. And don't mess with my lollies. I can eat a whole

bag of fruit tubes easy. Oh, yeah. Now I'm going to have to buy two bags and eat more. So this is what they've said that in recent months these Pascal lovers have told us, Pascal?

What did we decide on? Have told us they prefer their favourite lollies to be available at a lower price. So we've reduced the recommended retail price and size to make the lollies more affordable. Bullshit. They didn't mention anything about the size. Who said, you know what?

It's just sometimes the bag of lollies is too big. Nobody is saying that. No. The only bag of lollies is too big. Nobody is saying that. No. The only bag of lollies that you'd say that about is a party mix. And everybody by that is saying cut the green mint leaves. They're not saying it's too big. They're saying you've made a poor choice. And they're saying it's expensive because you keep putting Over, you know, the last few years.

What have we done to Cadbury? You know when you want to break up with someone, but you don't want to be the one to break up with them because you've already got the next person you want to sleep with lined up, but if you can't break up with someone and then sleep with someone the next day, you need them to dump you. Yeah. So it feels like they want us to dump them so they can watch.

Sleep with someone. Yeah, who? Australia? I don't know. Well, they've moved back to Australia, haven't they? Yeah, I know.

Yeah, and that letter they wrote to Australia was nicer than ours. About the chocolate? Yeah, it was. It is Valentine's Day tomorrow so they want to break up with us before

they have to give us a present. Yeah. But at least with like the chocolate you can console yourself in a giant block of Whittakers and it is nice. Yeah. What do you do for fruit tube alternatives?

There isn't a nicer fruit tube. You know what I mean? There's not. And whoever's got the balls to bring back a hard fruit tube has got my vote. Oh, I used to love those. See, I would pay a little bit more. Yep.

Because a hard tube lasts longer. You just put them in the fridge and they go hard. Yeah, but then there's cold and they hit my teeth that are rotting because I eat so many lollies. Yeah. And it hurts my nerve endings. Yeah. Well, it's happened. There's nothing you can do about it. So you just have to

buy more lollies and they win, don't they? What about a pick and mix? Well, no. Isn't that just Cadbury lollies emptied into a bin? Nah, it's different lollies. Or sometimes it is. Yeah, right. They haven't changed the price of Jersey caramels, have they? Because I'll stab somebody.

I'll probably stab somebody. It's weird that you like those, but you are a dad. I'm a boomer in a 30-somethings body. I'm big. I've got a post office pickle. I don't often need to post a letter, right? So this is why I have a pickle because I'm – well, actually, it's unrelated to that.

It's just something that I've stuffed up. Okay. So at 5 a.m. this morning, I had a couple of letters I had to post. Cute, eh? What kind of letters? I can't even remember the last time I needed – like, I'll send couriers all the time? I can't even remember the last time I needed it. Like, I'll send it to couriers all the time. I don't want to tell you what it is because you'll take the piss out of me for that as well.

Well, you may as well. We're here now. Like, you know when you buy something new? So we bought ourselves like a fridge, a first fridge we'd ever bought. Yeah. And you have to fill in a thing and send away like your customer details for a warranty. Oh my God, I never do that. No, neither.

You do it online. Oh, do you? You can do it online. Oh, well, we went around and did it for like a couple of appliances because we were feeling real. I know. Okay. I get this because yesterday I got home and I needed to do something

and I just did it when I found out I needed to do it. It feels pretty good. And then I was like to be real, I just feel like we're real onto it at the moment and so when I drove to work we drive past the post office. It's just there,

just downstairs. Well, we call it a post shop now. Post shop. Whatever. They haven't called them post offices. It's a post office but it's branding as post shop. Yeah.

Yeah. Okay. I'd still call it a post office. You were right. Proceed. Okay. So there's one of the post boxes out the front door and I was like, on my way to work,

I'm going to post these letters and then it's done for the day and I can do something else afterwards. Like I don't have to remember. Real onto it. So I opened up my bag. I have like a little backpack that's got all my laptop and everything in it.

And it was dark, okay? Do you know everyone here laughs that we all wear backpacks? I know. Did you hear that person fully hit me up about backpacks the other day? Backpack. I was like, what do you mean? I'm like, well, you're a grown man, you should have a bag. I was like, I do have a bag. It's a satchel. It's a backpack. I'm not wearing a satchel.

I had no idea. Well, they don't give us lockers here, so we have to take everything high. You have to carry it. I have two straps over both of my shoulders to have an equal load. I'm not bearing down on the right shoulder with all of that weight. I'll do myself a mischief. Yeah, someone's like, cute school bag. I was like, shut up. I know, that's what I got mocked for the other day. I was like,

I won't be bag shaped. I love these people. I was like, well, it's 10 o'clock and I'm off home, so stick it up your butthole. Enjoy seeing your family while the sun's going down. Did that feel good? It felt real good. Yeah, right.

Okay. So it was dark at 5am and I'm rooting around in my school bag looking for these. There was two. Two envelopes I had to post. I grabbed two envelopes out of my bag, toddled up, put it in the post box. Because there's only one post box now, there's no fast post box anymore. No, there was international and standard. Oh, those are the two boxes.

And I was like, not international and the standard. Yep. Put it in, drove to work feeling real smug that I'd done like a chore already at 5am. Yep. And when I got to work, I looked at my bag and there was the fridge warranty in an envelope. And I was like, but hang on, I definitely put in two envelopes in the box. Yeah. and I was like, but hang on, I definitely put in two envelopes in the box. So we were given an envelope with like details and taxi chits of flights

and everything we need for an upcoming. Travel itinerary to Christchurch. Yeah. And everything we need. Yeah. You've posted that. I posted that in the post box. My taxi chits.

You need that back to pay for the taxi. But it doesn't have my name or anything on it. It's just a clear windowed envelope that's gone into the post box. So now what? I don't know. Help. Help. I don't know.

Can you just go into the post office and say, hey, post shop, and say, hey, I've accidentally posted something I shouldn't have. And then, like, how do they know that you did that? And you're not just stealing mail. Very good call. It's got your name on it, though. Does it? Because mine's got the same.

Mine's got my name on the front end pen. Okay. But also, does the post office have keys to that? Surely they've got a backup key. I think the courier comes and gets it. They do. A couple of times. So you need to, when they open, you need to go and see.

So I just need to go. But then it has an hour window. It's like picked up between 5pm and 6pm. So do I just go and wait there between 5 and 6? I don't know. No, but don't they clear it a couple of times a day? I don't know. Nah, not anymore, mate.

Oh, right. Okay. I'm lucky to clear that once a week. Well, yeah, you might have to wait there, wait for the courier, but then he might not just let you sift through the mailbag. Yeah. I don't know. So someone's going to get my taxi, Chad,

and all my details for my flight. Yeah, I don't know what to do here. You're out of my jurisdiction. Yeah. It wouldn't be the first time someone's accidentally put something in the post box. Yeah. Well, that'll teach me for trying to get my job started. This is what it must have been like before you sent the text to the wrong person.

Yeah. When you send it to them. You write a letter about someone and you accidentally send it to them. It's not getting that bad. There's got to be a way of getting it back. F.M. This finally has a name. This thing that has affected

parents everywhere. In New Zealand, I myself have been, I don't want to say victim, that makes it sound a bit traumatic. But American parents have noticed this happening

with their own kids and it's kind of blowing their minds and one spoke out and then a sort of an unofficial union has formed. A tide of response.

Yes, of parents reporting the Peppa Pig effect. Okay. The Peppa Pig effect, to break it down, if you have kids who like Peppa Pig, then I can guarantee you already know what I'm talking about. But if not, let me break it down for you. This is where your child develops a British accent because they watch so much Peppa Pig.

I've heard of kids getting a bit of an American accent because they watch so many American cartoons. My niece in Australia has an American accent because she watches American TV shows. But not Australian. And YouTubers. No, no, no. If you heard her speak, you'd be like,

where's that kid from? Her older sister has a thick Australian accent. No way. But the older sister has a thick Australian accent. No way. But the younger sister has the weirdest. Do they just give up on the younger child and just babysit them in front of the TV? And my girls can do American accents because they watch American YouTubers. Right. So they're just talking to you.

They don't have a Kiwi accent. You put a camera on or they start videoing themselves. They put on an American accent and they don't even know they're doing it. And if you said to them, do an American accent, they wouldn't be able to. Wow. But when they're videoing themselves, their automatic default is to go into an American accent. But then did we have really good American accents too? But did we do this growing up watching cartoons or are they just more saturated with YouTube and on demand? We watched, I'm

imagining the shows that we were watching were fairly accent neutral. Right. Because they were produced in places like New York and LA. Right. And they were made for a worldwide audience. Right. So they were given a really neutral, an

American accent nonetheless, but a really neutral American accent. Whereas YouTubers can be. Whereas YouTubers are anywhere and everywhere, so they've got the regional accents and really thick ones so the kids pick up on that. But I would have only watched TV in the weekends in the morning and then after school and then it's like home and away and stuff. So like they're definitely watching more American shows than we would have. Yeah, right.

So these kids are picking up the Peppa Pig. Yeah, both of my kids could do British accents real young because of Peppa Pig. It's crazy. What is this saying for the accent industry? It's great. It's great news for the accent industry. It's great news for America, for New Zealanders

who want to be actors when they grow up and go to America. Like Cliff Curtis. Yeah. You know, he could be from anywhere. He's played many different races. And if he, as a young child, had had exposure to more accents, he could probably be doing even more roles.

Right, okay. Not that he's, you know, got a shortage or anything. But the Peppa Pig effect is affecting. Mother, mummy, can I have a snuggle? Yeah, it's like. They don't do that at the end of every sentence that a pig does. I think they can identify that that's a pig's noise.

Right. But I'd love to know this morning on 0800DALES.NM where you can text 9696, where did you pick an accent up from? Or if you've got kids, what accent are they... Where did they get their accent from? You always have your friends that go on their OE and they give you a call or a Skype

or they come home for a break after a few months and they're talking in a British accent. You're just like, Crikey, it's hot over here. You're like, what? At least put a nice British accent, dude, like a royal one. Oh, no, they've been living in the wrong part of London. And they couldn't afford the high-end Essex lifestyle. Or friends that go to America and, yeah, they have an American. But then you kind of do have to adopt a little bit,

especially in America, because they don't understand. Because you ask her Uber and they're like, a what? An Uber. A what? Yeah, so you have to constantly be kind of mimicking their accent and then I guess maybe it just sticks. Yeah. But we don't.

It's just our tall poppy. You come back to New Zealand, cut it out. Stop that, stupid, carry on. Knock it off, you bloody chuckle. All right, so 0800-DARLS-IT-M-9696. Where have you adopted an accent from? Or friends adopted an accent, or your kids? Yeah, rag on your friends that have come back from the island.

Yeah, rag on your kids. We're talking about where you've adopted an accent from. Maybe it was being surrounded by people or maybe it was just hours watching Peppa Pig. As the Peppa Pig effect is officially recognised in the US. It's been happening for ages. Yeah. Peppa Pig.

Just showed these guys a Peppa Pig clip and they're on board. I didn't realise she was so savage. She's ruthless. She's in an episode where she can't whistle and she rings Susie Sheep. And Susie Sheep can't whistle and Peppa's like, good. And Susie's like, what is whistling?

And she's like, you put your lips together and blow. And then she does it and then she just hangs up on Susie. Peppa Pig just hangs up on Susie. I'd hang up on Susie because every time she talks, she needs to bar at the start of the sentence. They all make their noise in case you're not sure what animal they are. Ridiculous. But maybe it's a friend that's

come back from an OE that's adopted an accent. Yeah. We want to take your calls and texts now. Someone texts in, my son's first language is Maori. He is at a full immersion Maori school and we only speak Te Reo at home. Our neighbours are an Indian family and my son always goes across and spends time playing at their house for hours. So when he speaks English, it's in a full Indian accent. What? That's so cool. I know.

Wasn't that like the whole, that would be weird to come across in the wild. You'd think he was putting on an Indian accent. Yeah. Yeah. Somebody else said I was in South Korea for months. They couldn't understand my lazy Kiwi accent, but they understood American accents from the television. So I put on an accent and everyone could understand me.

But now that I'm back, there's still the drawl of this American accent underneath. Yeah, because you find a lot of Kiwis that come back from America have this mongrel, especially the actors. Yeah. They have this mongrel kind of Kiwi-American kind of... It is weird, though, isn't it? It is.

It is a bigger mix. Katie, your son is two and you can blame the Peppa Pig effect. Yeah, definitely with Peppa Pig. I was called Mama Pig for a little while. I've managed to stop that, thankfully. I was just going to say as well, it's not just the accents. He watches an American YouTuber, Flippy. I don't know if you've heard of him.

No. He's quite influential and he's really educational as well. So we'll be driving around and my son will be like, excavator, and he's not even two. And I'm like, what's an excavator? Like, looking for it. And he'll call, you know, like a backhoe instead of a digger and things like that.

Oh, right. So he's using American terms know, like a backhoe instead of a digger and things like that. Oh, right. So he's using American terms for things that we call different things down here. Yeah, definitely. And only two. Yeah, it's really cool, though, because, you know, he's learning a lot, but it's confusing at times, too.

Right, but he sounds American. Yeah, he can, yep. So things like orange and sometimes just the way he says numbers, I'm like, it's not how we say numbers here. Four. Four. Four. And he'll call people who are called Craig, Craig.

Craig. They love that. And even Megan. They love Megan. They don't do Megan. Yeah, Megan. Megan. Multiple texts in saying they watch their kids call diggers excavators too,

and it really annoys the dads. Someone said, my daughter calls diggers excavators, and her father's always like, it's called a bloody digger. Emily, you picked up an accent? Yeah, so people have always come up to me asking where I'm from, and I just be like, well, I'm from New Zealand, but my dad's British. And so I just kind of thought maybe I'd pick something up from him.

But recently my mum told me that I had a teacher during my first year of school who had an American accent and I just kind of picked it up and I've had it since then. And now I'm in year 12 and I still have it. Wow. okay. Because a lot of people that learn English might be in people that grew up in Hong Kong. Yeah, if they go to international schools. Yeah, they come back with kind of an American twang

because they were taught English by an American. Yeah. Yeah. So I just realised that up until recently that it was actually an American kind of accent. Wow. So you have an American kind of accent. Wow. So you have an American twang. It always blows my mind when people are like,

I'm off overseas, I'm going to teach English. And I just imagine all these, like, foreigners with Kiwi accents. Yeah. Yeah. Like, g'day, how's that? I'm just like, g'aww. Hi, my name's Chun-Li. I feel bad.

I'm from Korea. And I learn English from Sue. She was new from New Zealand. Thanks, you call Emily. Somebody said, this was a really unusual case. I was away for three months with a very small group, but everybody was from a different country. And at the end of it, our accents were whack.

They didn't sound like anything. They just sounded like a rolly mumbo jumbo of a bit of all the accents of everybody that was on this. Right. And I want to know what this intense three-month trip away was now.

Like a United Nations or something. Yeah. I don't know. Maybe. Everybody was from different places. Someone said, I'm a teacher of new entrants

and the amount of five-year-olds starting school with strong American accents would blow your mind. Just because of YouTube. Just watching so much YouTube and TV, I guess. But do you think that's going to have a long-term effect on our accent? Yeah.

Well, could I get them to watch just the Royals on YouTube so they have a Ponzi accent when they go to school? Well, watch The Crown on Netflix. Yeah. I don't know if you're going to get many four-year-olds sitting down to watch The Crown. Lawrence will, though. You can almost be sure that your yet-to-be-born child, Lawrence, will only watch the finest television. That or be sneaking Geordie Shore while you're at the, I don't know, where do you go shopping?

It could be worse. It could be Geordie Shore. It could very much be Geordie Shore. It could be a whole lot worse. All right. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Today's fact of the day is about body language, I guess, would be the category it would fall under.

I love body language. Well, you would fall under. I love body language. Well, you might like this. I love detecting liars because when people talk to you and they look away or touch their face. I look away not always because I'm lying, but sometimes I just realise that I've been making eye contact with someone for too long and I don't want to. I think it's the introvert and you're like, you look away. But I do realise that it also makes you look like you're lying. This is about body language and whether or not it's hardwired. Some of it is hardwired into us.

So this began when somebody noticed at a competition for people who were visually impaired, blind people, how they celebrated victory when they won. And they threw their hands up to celebrate victory. And so afterwards they said to them, you know when you won and you threw your hands up? Yeah. How did you know how to do that?

Because I'd never seen anybody do it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, right. And they said it just felt right. So this person became very interested in what body language, especially associated with victory or defeat, are hardwired into us. Right. Because where do we learn it from?

We learn it from seeing people do it. Yeah. So if someone has never seen and never been told to do it, how do they know how to do it? So they studied children as young as three years old. Right. Who were visually impaired. They would make them compete. And when they won, they would judge their body language.

And your both victory and defeat, it seems seems hardwired into us right so uh people who are visually impaired who had never been told how to do it uh they did a few different things uh when they won they would stretch their your chest would go you would become more bigger you'd be bigger in your chest you'd expand your chest out and often there was arms went out or up. Right. When you won. You're like puffing up your chest. Very primal. Exactly right. It's like a peacock's tail

is an extravagant way to say that you've got good genes and puffing your chest up makes you look bigger and you're the victor. So your body is told you've got primal wiring to tell you to make yourself look bigger because you have won. And it's the same with defeat. When you lose, of course, you shrink down and your shoulders go over and you look a little bit smaller and not as strong.

Right. So that's why they always say when you go into a job interview, do the power stance. The Superman power stance for two minutes before a job interview or anything. It'll change your natural stance and you look more powerful and confident. Yeah. And you've just pretty much just you don't want to walk in

looking like Superman though do you? Man if Henry Cavill came into my job interview I'd give him whatever he wanted. A kiss? He can have my job if he wanted one. And a kiss yeah.

If he wanted one. You're telling me if Henry Cavill was like give us a little kiss on the cheek you'd be like no. I would be in there. He's such a hunk. He is like, oh, yeah, he's hot.

And Sade would let you too, wouldn't she? She'd be like, good. I'd be upset at you if you didn't. Yeah, me too. How dare you turn down Henry Cavill? I know, you'd look back and you'd be like, oh. Was it the moustache in Mission Impossible? I loved the moustache in Mission Impossible.

When he pumped his arms out of Mission Impossible like they were guns before that fight scene, he was like, shh, shh. I was just like, oh. Henry. He's still my aching heart. Yeah, right. Yeah.

He's a great Superman. It was a pity they didn't know what to do with him. I mean the movie theatre, not the movie studio. Not like sexually. Because you know what to do with him. I'd give it a go. I'd show my Krypton. Okay.

Kryptonite. They're weak at the knees. They're bugging up my bloody Superman analogy. We're saying Krypton, that's a planet he's from. Yeah. Not Kryptonite. Kryptonite, yeah. His weakness.

Okay. Oh well, you try your best. So today's fact of the day is it seems that celebrations of victory and defeat are hardwired into us. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. I've stumbled across this story. I don't know when this came out, but it shocked me, and I thought we've got to talk about this, especially because I use these quite a bit.

Okay. Well, sometimes, depending on how often I go to McDonald's. Oh, no. In the UK, they tested a whole lot of the touchscreens that people use to order food, which is so handy. Yeah. Like, you don't even need to go to the counter now. Don't need to talk to people.

We don't need to talk to humans. We don't need to talk to humans. They don't even encourage you to talk to humans. Like, there's heaps of them and you don't, people just don't go there to order. You always use the touchscreen. And they're so good as well if you're in a foreign country because they're always in English. Oh, yeah.

So you don't need to be like, that one. Yeah, big mouth. You just press the English button and order it and you don't need to talk to people. Yeah. So they've taken samples and swabbed all of these in an investigation and they have found that every one of them that they tested had some kind of coliform on it.

That's poos, isn't it? Yes, it is. Yeah. Traces of poos. Fecal matter. They were surprised. How do anything that humans touch will have traces of faecal matter? Before, we talked about people with a guy from Fox News not washing his hands,

and he used to be able to text messages saying, oh, my in-laws don't wash their hands, and a guy at work doesn't wash his hands. But how does poos get on that screen? Well, they wipe their bum, and they don't wash their hands. I know, but there's toilet paper in between. Then they go to Macca's. Yeah, so the senior lecturer. This wouldn't just be McDonald's.

This would be any touch screen, any elevator button, anything human arms touch. Shopping trolleys, basket handles. I get real scared about the gooey's on the back of your seats on the planes, airplanes. Oh, yeah, yeah. Oh, the screens in there. I just like touch it with my knuckle,

but then still touching it. Well, you should be proud of yourself. I mean, yeah, yeah. Touching those? Oh, the screens in there, yeah. Oh, just like, touch it with my knuckle, but then still touching it. Well, you should be proud of yourself. I mean, this is the UK. I'd like to think they're a lot grubbier than us here in New Zealand. We probably keep our McDonald's touchscreens cleaner. Wow. But the senior lecturer in microbiology said they were surprised at how much gut and faecal bacteria there were on the

touchscreen machines. Yuck. Because these are the kind of infections that people can pick up in hospitals. And the worst thing is, is you order, so you touch the screen and then you're going to eat your chippies.

I know. Well, no, I know someone that eats their burger with the wrapper. Yeah. But how do you eat the chippies? Just hold the whole box up and put them out individually.

You pour them in your mouth. You eat it like a horse with a feed bag. You go. But then we say this, but then there are multiple surveys that have come out about mobile phones and they're one of the most disgusting things you can touch. Yeah, we touch that all the time.

You're constantly touching them. I mean, I guess you could bacteria wipe them all the time. That's the thing about those screens as well. They could have a wipe, couldn't they? Oh, and yeah, your phone touches your face. So, yeah, we're screwed, aren't we? Hey, it makes you stronger. And if I ever get like a bit of like sticky stuff on my screen,

I always lick it and then wipe it on my shirt. So that's your version of pain. A bit of immunising against it. Yeah. Just a little bit at a time with the bad bacteria I find.