ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Megan Podcast - February 19 2019

Episode Date: February 18, 2019

Last seasons' Heartbreak Island winner, Harry, is in studio. Vaughan made a cream mistake and what did you have to get back from your ex?See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Welcome one, welcome all to the Fletch, Vaughan and Megan podcast brought to you by Spark. Get four gigs of bonus data on Spark's $49 prepaid value pack. Now, on with the podcast. It's on. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. Thanks, Anya. Good morning. Welcome to the show, Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. This groundbreaking study. Let's delve more into this. Young people are more likely to spend money on entertainment than window wipers? Of course. I saw a thing online yesterday

where an Instagram account encouraged you to screen cap this photo of a container of olive oil and say and send it to your dad and say so I was running low on oil and so I bought oil and I put it in the car

and now it's making a funny noise. This is the oil I used. Yup. So many dads were just like, huh. Like that was all the dads didn't even bite. Oh, really? The ones that I saw, the dads were just like, you're an idiot. Like you just left to it.

I was like, sure. My dad would have been like, got your bloody, what the hell have you done? My dad wouldn't believe it. No, that's what I think. Because I'm too savvy for that. Yeah. But when do you replace your windscreen wipers?

When they start squeaking. Yeah, when they're rusty. Not doing a great job. And when they go, instead of. I think I only know how to do that because I worked at a petrol station. I did mine when you started getting the three scratches just in a nice arch because it had completely fallen off. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's so groundbreaking when you drive a nice car and you're like, that's what wipers are supposed to be like. And that's how headlights are supposed to light up the road. Amazing. Wow. I only just got my headlights fixed so it doesn't look like it's winking. Yeah. And that's how Headlights are supposed To light up the road Amazing Wow Life I only just got my Headlights fixed So it doesn't look like

It's winking Yeah So bright Hey Coming up on the show The top six Yeah Now

I've got some stats On what it takes To get a A fat person Cremated A larger person Cremated It's in the news, isn't it?

Yeah, because they want to start charging a bit more. Because it takes longer. It takes twice as long. So I think it's totally fair that they charge more. The thing is, you're dead though. So it's not like when you're in the store and the person's like, oh, you need a large instead of a medium.

No, but my spirit will be so offended. It'll be watching over like, ouch. Ouch. Well, the top six today is the top six other pricing issues for being cremated that you might not know about. Okay, all right. It's coming up.

Also on the show this morning, just after 8 o'clock, the winner of last season's Heartbreak Island, which is back again today. In fact, first episode's out right now on TVNZ On Demand. Harry is in just after 8 o'clock. Which is interesting because Caitlin's got a boyfriend now. Yeah, you'd say the tension between you and Harry was electric, almost, Caitlin, to be honest, wouldn't you?

Yes. I would say that. But now you're off the market and I'm assuming he's still single. I know. Well, yeah, we can ask him. What's going to happen if he flirts with you? Well, he does on social media and I have to shut him down. No, I actually don't shut him down.

I'm like, hey, babe. No, I don't. I'm chill. Yeah, that's definitely what I'm picking up from the last 10 seconds, 20 seconds of you talking. You're chill. You'll get yourself in trouble then. He's on with us just after 8 o'clock this morning. All right, you lot, listen up.

It's story time. Three news headlines. Vaughan and Megan pick one of the following three. All right, headline one, girl shows real heart. Headline two, man finally wins at claw machine. Headline three, airline finally wins at claw machine. Headline three, airline's youngest customer to date.

Airline's youngest customer to date, that's a baby's born on the plane. Ding, ding, ding, ding. Yes, yes, yes. What was the first one? Girl shows real heart. Has her heart come out of her chest?

No. I think I want that one. You want that one? I think I want girl wants real heart. Okay. Even though you love claw machines? I do love claw machines. What was the claw machine headline?

Man finally wins a claw machine. Did he climb in? Not quite. Or he smashed it. He got his arm. Yeah. Tipped it.? Not quite. Or he smashed it. He got his arm. Yeah. Tipped it. Yeah.

Broke it. Okay, number one. Okay, girl shows real heart. We go now to America. And a X-ray was taken when a three-year-old girl was brought into the emergency room. This is in New England,

according to the New England Journal of Medicine. And an entry into the journal called Heart of Gold. And basically, it's a pretty simple story. The three-year-old swallowed a heart-shaped, some kind of pendant. Oh, right. And it shows up in the X-ray quite nicely. It does.

Almost art-like. Yeah, it shows up beautifully. x-ray quite nicely. It does. Almost art-like. Yeah, it shows up beautifully. It looks drawn on, you know, after. And right in the middle of her chest. Yeah. That's really the whole story. But, okay. If it had just been down a little bit further,

it would have looked, and rotated around slightly. It would have looked perfect, wouldn't it? It would have looked a little bit better, yeah. You'd see some stuff in the x-ray department, wouldn't you? Yeah. You certainly would. Well in the x-ray department, wouldn't you? Yeah. You certainly would. Well, they always say that. Yeah.

Are they allowed to do a best of gallery at the end of the year? Probably. Internally, well, excuse the pun, internally. Not for public, yeah, because you don't want people ridiculing you if you're the one with something stuck. Yeah. Somewhere. Up or in you.

But I talked to a, do you call them a radiologist? Is that what? I think so, yeah. I talked to one of them once, and man, they had some stories. Always annoys, well, not annoys me,

worries me when they leave the room and then zap you. Hide behind the thing. Like, come back out here and take it with me. No, but they're throwing it a million times a day. Yeah, all day. You're getting a couple of zaps.

Not too bad. You get it every day. Yeah, I know. It's still a bit iffy about it. It's like a barman giving you a shot every time they sell one. Like, taking a shot every time they sell one. Yeah, that's actually... That'd be wasted.

Yeah, okay. Fair call. Fair call. And you don't have to pay for it. Yeah, man. We love a per capita fact here in New Zealand because we're a small country, but we box out of our white class, really, and a lot of things. Sporting per capita always do pretty good.

Well, now our beer per capita, we've got more breweries than anywhere else in the world. And the New Zealand beer industry is worth $2.3 billion. Wow. Isn't it crazy, eh? In the last, like, I feel like the last five years, everybody's been getting into craft beers. Sure, craft beers, IPAs, APAs, your Pilsners, all of the beers that, you know,

are outside your traditional Lion Red situation are really taking it up there. 218 breweries in New Zealand, which,, per capita, more than any other place in the world. Also $646 million to the GDP last year. The beer industry. Who's the GDP? Contributed.

Gross domestic product. Oh. It's kind of like money. It's how you measure a country's financial. Oh, okay. Yeah. So $331 million in GST. Yep.

And $315 million in excise tax. And also 22,000 people's employment is directly related to the industry. Crazy, right? Now, if China block all of our tourism and trade, maybe this is the answer. We just start more breweries. Oh, right. Yeah, and start drinking. Well, we are pretty good at drinking.

Pretty good. It's one thing we know how to do. Pretty good. On license, sales and on licenses, 60% were beer related. So when you go to a bar, it's 60% beer. Yeah. Okay. Yep.

So for every 100,000 people in New Zealand, we've got 4.6 breweries. Britain has three and Australia has two and the United States has under two. Right. Yeah. Wow. That's crazy, isn't it? Does it have an off-licence stat? Not that

I could see. No, okay, just on licence. Just on licence. But it's, it has, as you said, in the last five years, it's completely changed. It's not just swapper crates and you get the decorative cans. So it's still, you know me, I'd still rather go for a long white raspberry. Yeah, you are an absolute sucker for a sweet vodka.

For a sweet, sweet vodka. I'd love to see those stats, but I'm sure. What, the long white? Yeah. We've probably been pretty well in the RTD range as well. Oh, yeah. Let's say so. We hoover those.

And the wine. Just all round. And the spirits. All round alcohol. We love a drink. Yeah, don't we? Yeah, we do. From the ZM Think Tank, this is the top six.

Hello there. It has been proposed in Hastings that larger people would be charged $200 more than others while getting cremated. This is because the average person's casket takes about two and a half hours to cremate. An oversized one, that is somebody weighing more than 150 kgs, takes four and a half to five and a half hours. So twice the time. Totally fair enough. That they get charged more. Because it's gas, isn't it?

Yeah, yeah. It's an intense fire that burns for all that time to ensure that you are cremated effectively. I had no idea it took like two and a half hours. That's a long time. You did. You watched Making a Murderer. You know how long it takes to burn a body? Yeah, that's right.

That's why they don't reckon they did it in that hole. They didn't have enough time. Because you can't get that much heat from the fire. Yeah, you wouldn't be able to. These are purpose-built machines. I just saw the name on the side of it. Matthews International. Oh, really?

There's a picture of a cremation oven there. So the average casket already costs $700 for cremation. There's a picture of a cremation oven. Right. There. So the average casket already costs $700 for cremation. This would add another $200 on top of that. Right. That's a lot of money to spend on something that's being burnt. It's also, that's what I think, because that's not just the casket. That's what it costs to get it burnt. Right.

So you pay money for the casket beforehand. Oh. I'm glad you didn't put me in a box. Me too. I don't care. Go to Pack and Save and get two big boxes of things, 18 packs of toilet paper. Yeah, or like a fridge box or something.

Just something. It doesn't need to be much. Plywood, absolute maximum. Just don't buy him. When my papa died and they had him cremated and they spent, everyone was like, he would have liked a nice one. I was like, no, he wouldn't. He was as tight as me.

He wouldn't have wanted nothing. Waste your money on that, don't you? He would have been like, such a waste of money. And they also proposed to start charging for after hours call outs. At present, there's no charge despite call outs arranging urgent burials or cremations increasing. So they might put a $300 after-hours call-out. I've never thought about it.

I thought they would have had a 9 to 5. Rock in, first one in, comes at lunchtime, next one in, next one late afternoon. They're not going anywhere, are they? No. Do it on Monday. Yeah. They don't have any other appointments. Chuck them in the fridge and then bring them out before you burn them

to bring them up to room temperature. I wouldn't want to be at a BYO having a great time with my friends and get a call out to cremate someone. Really put me off my dinner. So along with that going up, here's the top six other pricing issues for being cremated. Most of these are on how to save money. Number six, if you're willing to let people cook sausages over it, it's cheaper too, as they can offset the price of the gas used by selling sausages and bread upstairs.

I don't know if those will sell at all, Vaughn. It's not in the same part. It's the heat coming off the outside. Just roll the sausages around on top. It's a metal oven that you couldn't touch during it'll get very hot. Grandma infused. Yeah, well grandma

bits and pieces wouldn't touch the sausage. Yeah. But they'd still cook a good saucy. Number five on the list of the top six other pricing issues for being cremated. If you want a cheaper option, they can do what they call the hotel convey about toaster option. It's where they crank it up as hot as it'll go and the slow and then they put you through and then you go and slide out the bottom.

Yeah. And then they always have to put you back on for another run through because those things never cook enough on the first run. Like a pizza oven. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Roll it through. Yeah. And then they always have to put you back on for another run through because those things never cook enough on the first run. Like a pizza oven. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, roll it

through. Yeah, convey about. I like it. Really crank it. Number four on the list of the top six other pricing options for being cremated.

30% off if you've never moisturised as you'll be drier and you'll go up quicker. Good idea. Yeah, you'll be tender, you'll just go up.

But of course if your whole life's been nivier top to bottom. Yeah. Yeah, I'd be no good. You'd just go up. But, of course, if your whole life's been Nivea top to bottom, you're going to be a little waterlogged. Yeah, you've got a damp face. Very damp. Oh, she's damp. Well, she's not seasoned at all.

Number three on the list of the top six other pricing issues for being cremated. Number three, it's also cheaper if you're willing to let people chuck in some burnable rubbish with you. Okay. Like, you know when you move and you've got all those moving boxes and you're like, what am I going to do with all these? And you burn them. Yeah. Well, if you let someone like load it right up with cardboard and other burnables.

No plastic because that would stink. Yeah. But 20% off. Okay, fair call. 20% off to get rid of moving boxes. Number two on the list of the top six other pricing issues who've been cremated. If you only want to be done medium rare,

it's cheaper because there's less cooking time. It's 20% off. And I've always preferred medium rare. Same. To well done. For your dead bodies. For steak, burger patties, grandparents. And grandma.

Medium rare is the way to go And the number one On today's top six Are the pricing issues For being cremated 50% off If you're an alcoholic Because you'll burn quicker

Because you come soaked And accelerated You're basically A flaming sambuca That That teamed up With not moisturising You'd be gone in five minutes

And we can cut you A special deal there mate Cut you a very special deal. That is today's top six. The secret to a long and happy relationship may have a lot to do with where you fall in your family's birth order. So if you're the oldest, the middle or the youngest. Right.

And the matches between you and your partner. Huh. So this is a new book and they have said, you know, it develops you a lot depending on where you are. And that includes only children as well. Well, the oldest child has to fight for those nights out, don't they? No, the oldest child may be given the nights out, but they ruin it for all children that come afterwards.

No, they give all the other children a free ride. You don't get it as hard. Whatever. I don't believe that. No, they ruin it. Yeah, they do. Well, they can. Because my brother couldn't be trusted, so then they're like,

you can't be trusted either. I was like, don't blame me for. They were right to not trust you. And they were probably right not to trust me. Yeah. So I have a whole lot of combinations where they've broken down the positives and the negatives for these combinations. Oh, okay. So shall we start with our newest relationship on the show, Caitlin?

Okay. Producer Caitlin, who is, how long have you been with this guy? Okay, so we've been dating since the day before Megan's Andrew's birthday. The 1st of February. The 1st of February. That was official. And then we were kind of like seeing each other from December. So I got a ride with them at the

weekend and they were touching each other. Oh, we were not. They were driving along and Caitlin was like touching his leg. I was like, no. She told me she was going to do that just to gross you out. Where was this ride from? From the airport. Oh, yeah, but you deserve that because you're always scabbing rides to the airport. Exactly.

You're lucky I wasn't kissing him. I didn't even kiss him. And she'd been away from him for a few hours. You were lucky you shouldn't bloody... Yeah, I know. So whereabouts... I'll climb over and sit on his knee while he's driving. Okay.

Stop it. I'll miss you. Whereabouts in the birth line are you both? In the birth line. Oh, we're both middle children. Okay. Oh, cramming attention. So we've got a middle and middle combination.

Okay. Your celebrity couple is Gordon and Tana Ramsey. Um. Yeah. Okay. Well, they're still together. Yeah, that's a good point. Here's what it says.

This is one of the most difficult combinations to make work. That's because during childhood, middle children were overpowered by the firstborn and then undercut by the youngest, so they tend to be very cautious about telling the truth about their feelings because they're worried they won't be heard.

When both are middle children, the result can be a growing emotional distance between the two of them. Oh no. It does say you need to have a date night once a week and have as many conversations about everything from money and sex. Date night once a week? Who's got time? You sort of make time.

You sort of have them at home anyway, don't you? I know, yeah. This must just be for new start-ups. Yeah. Okay, well, what's you in charts? I'm the middle and she's the youngest. Okay, well, your celebrity couple is Emily Blunt and John Krasinski. Oh, my God, yes.

We are. You're Emily Blunt. She's the middle. I'm either. I'll be happy with either. Hot couple. It says, well, middle children tend to have harmonious relationships with partners from any place in the birth order.

Thank you. This partnership may throw up some issues because the middle children do not expect to get their own way because they really did as kids. So you get dominated by the younger one. Factual. How to improve your relationship. Youngest children need to check they're not always trying to be the centre of attention. Youngest children? Yeah. So Sade needs to. Oh,'re not always trying to be the centre of attention. Youngest children?

Yeah. So Sade needs to... Oh, she is always trying to be the centre of attention. Middle-born children may also have to stand up to the youngest children to bring them back down to earth. Oh, God, why did I read that? Yeah, okay. This is true.

Why is there no faults on the middle child side? Is there a combination of only child and only child? Is it just, like, disastrous because both of them just think they're going to get their way the whole time? No, I don't think there is. There's only child and only child? Is it just like disastrous because both of them just think they're going to get their way the whole time? No, I don't think there is. There's only child with other people,

but there's no only versus only. God, that's just... So what about you, Mr. Toyboy? What's your combination? We're baby and baby. We're like youngest. Okay. It's not good.

It says we will both try and fight for attention it says neither of us have completely grown up we have a tendency

not to take responsibility and blame each other when things go wrong so I feel like that's right on the money we need to work out each other's strengths

and make sure important tasks don't get ignored. Well, that sounds boring. Are there any other combinations we missed? What's... There must be heaps of combinations. What about in the producer's booth?

What combinations are we in there? What about you, Anya? Mum and son. Mum and youngest. Have you got that one? Youngest and only. Ooh. Is Andy an only child?

Would the half brothers and sisters count? I guess so He doesn't grow up with them though So he's pretty much only Youngest and only So They have never known The earth shattering feeling of being displaced By a new arrival

That's only children. So they may not understand how jealous and insecure the other can feel in a relationship. That's true though because when he has the meeting out there

with the other girls that work in internet with the company you're like I will stab those bitches for talking to my man. You're like who's that?

And then you have that meeting with HR about only hiring ugly people to do internet stuff. That's actually a good last question. We should get that at ZM online so you can find your kind. Check out your order.

Well, a study has found that burnt toast could be more toxic than traffic fumes in your house. What, the fumes that come off burnt toast? Yes. Or eating burnt toast? The fumes that come off. So if you've got toast in and the smoke starts coming out and then... Bad news. Bad news. Really?

Isn't it really bad as well, eating like anything kind of burnt and charcoal-y? Like, isn't that carcinogenic? That's why they say barbecue meats are bad. Oh, I love burnt toast or like real dark. Some people do. Some people bring barbecue meats into this. What are you doing that for? No, but I don't understand how you like that's bad for you,

but then you can eat charcoal. Yeah, activated charcoal. Yeah, I don't know either. I don't have the science on that. I've just got charcoal on my toast. Apparently, the ideal toast for your health is just golden brown. It's when it starts getting burnt that your toaster starts spitting out very unhealthy air pollution levels. Really? It's just like starting a little fire inside.

Yeah, pretty much. It's the same like having a wood burner stove inside. Not that many of us do now. The World Health Organization recommends air should contain no more than 25 micrograms of fine particles. But when bread is toasted golden brown, particle concentration in the surrounding air surged to between 300 and 400 cubic meters. So the ideal is 25. When toast was allowed to turn dark brown and burn, particle levels go to 3,000 to 4,000 per square metre.

So that is more than 150 times the World Health Organisation limit at a busy traffic intersection. Yeah, but you can open the windows and it all disappears. It's like you can't open the windows at a busy traffic intersection. No, yeah. My brother-in-law's in India at the moment and he's been sending photos. Yeah. And he bought one of those masks, like when

you're doing painting or sanding. Yeah. Except these are a bit more advanced and they had two little filters on the side. Oh, yeah. And he sent me, like, at the end of the day of walking around, like he went to Taj Mahal and did some sightseeing. At the end of the day, the filters were, like, at the end of the day of walking around, like he went to the Taj Mahal and did some sightseeing. At the end of the day, the filters were, like, grim. Well, he was walking around doing sightseeing in a mask.

Yeah. That's a bit grim. Mate, if you saw the photos, see if I can find the photos. Of the, the, the air pollution was nuts. It was like, yeah, but I don't know. I think I'd just do it for a couple of days. I don't know if I'd wear a gas mask

to the Taj Mahal. Like that's, it just looks smoky the whole time and that's like not, that's just not, not what it does. Well, you take it off

for a selfie, Fletch, and then you put it on. Oh, yeah, yeah. Obviously. You go, take it off for a selfie. Maybe we can do another one. Oh, God, no.

Buckle it up one more. This weird facial expression like someone's farted and you're trying not to breathe. Trying not to breathe in it. Yeah. You do kind of forget when you go travelling overseas, you take our beautiful blue skies for granted.

Oh, yeah. When we have beautiful blue skies. Yeah. Clean air and... I know, because I saw Karen Walker does cute face masks now, but then I'm like, oh, walking around in New Zealand. How much is a Karen Walker face mask? I don't know.

I've never bought one. They've got three patterns on them. Dude, was that what you showed me? Yeah. And you were like, oh, Karen Walker. I was like, why do you need Karen Walker on your face? But does it more look like a surgical, like a scrubs mask? Yeah.

Yeah, it's one of those ones. It's not a full. But it's got thick stripes. It's not like a meth. Someone who's making meth is going to be like, you know what? I'm selling a lot of meth, I'm going to trap myself to a Karen Walker gas mask. Oh my god, I would.

You're making a lot of tax-free cash. Does she know something that we don't? Is bird flu coming back? Are we going to have to stock up on Tammy flu again? She's going to start bird flu so that she sells some more Karen Walker face masks. That's what's going to happen. It's a great business plan, isn't it? I'm just going to start wearing a face mask whenever I'm cooking toast now.

What do you kids want for breakfast? Toast, please. Bloody hell, gas mask. Whatever on your toast. I am your father. Let's talk weddings and the wedding tax. So the wedding tax is often talked about as in you never let on that you're buying a wedding cake. Just say a cake and describe it.

Because as soon as they find out it's a wedding, they slap a bit extra on it. Oh, yeah, handy. Why is it? Why are they allowed to get away with this, these places? How dare they? How dare they? I think everyone kind of just does it and you expect to pay a lot when it's your wedding. So you're like, oh, that's steep.

Okay. I don't know. You expect that everything's going to be expensive. But someone has... It's just cheeky. It is cheeky. And someone has put it to the test. This is a woman from the Sydney Morning Herald.

Right. She has broken down these different options she tried and the different prices. She's proven that it is actually a thing, the wedding tax. So first of all, she got a quote from a venue. So her friends were quoted a $6,000 minimum spend for a Saturday engagement party. So it was a Saturday. So that's where the venue's free, but you've got to spend that on the bar. Yeah, $6,000.

Okay, right. Okay. It was on a Saturday. There's obviously where the venue's free, but you've got to spend that on the bar. Yeah, $6,000. Okay, right. Okay. It was on a Saturday. There's obviously going to be lots of people there. There wouldn't be a huge amount of difference between an engagement and a wedding, right? Yeah. Well, it depends, though. The wedding might be a sit-down, but if all you say at this stage is,

I need a room for an engagement party. Yeah, $6,000. $6,000. Expensive. Then she was quoted a $25,000 minimum spend for a Saturday for a wedding because they need to recoup our regular patronage. But they were happy to have a $6,000 engagement party there. Yeah.

But now it needs to be $25,000 minimum spend if it's a wedding. Mad. But that doesn't include, like, it could include catering, but that's what you've got to spend at least. Yeah. Right. Yeah, but as you say, they're happy to have had a night

where they had $6,000 spent, and that's obviously enough for their business. So the excuse they gave is just rubbish. Yeah. Because, yeah, they were happy to take six grand. So what, she's ringing them up at different times. So she's ringing them up one day saying, I've got an engagement party, then a week later saying, I've got a wedding. Yeah. Because, yeah, they were happy to take six grand. So what, she's ringing them up at different times. Yeah. So she's ringing them up one day saying, I've got an engagement party, then a week later

saying, I've got a wedding. Yeah. Cheeky. So a hair salon, this was in Melbourne, they said if someone came into the salon and got a blow wave, premium price would be $100. But if you're getting the same style, say you wanted the blow wave, for a wedding, it would be $250 per head. Now, that's where you're still going into the salon.

You're not making them come to your wedding venue. Oh, no, you're going in. You're going in. That's cheeky, isn't it? As soon as you've said wedding. And they're not doing any extra work. No. I mean, you're not talking about like a styled hairdo.

It's the same style, the blow-dry. For a dry cleaner, this one I can kind of understand. She called a dry cleaner to ask for a quote for a long silk formal dress to be dry cleaned. Right. They told her the price would be around $30. When she got a quote for a wedding dress, which was a similar description,

they quoted between $280 and $500. Now the difference is like when I got mine dry cleaned, a lot of people get it preserved and packaged because you're not going to wear it again anytime soon. So that might be the excuse there.

But if it's a simple wedding dress and it's not frilly and then why should it be more? Yeah, if she described it as the same dress but just with wedding on the front, that's pretty bad. A DJ, she contacted a business saying it was for a 21st. She was quoted $600 for five hours. Okay.

Then she contacted them and mentioned wedding. They quoted $1,000 for five hours. Extra $400 for the same amount of time. Wow. No difference. You're still playing music. Oh, what was the first event? 21st.

Both punishing. Yeah, I was going to say, you'd have to put up with punishing drunk requests at the wedding, but you would at the 21st too. Yeah. Yeah. But you hear people do that with cakes as well. A lot of the time, a wedding cake is a lot more elaborate,

but if you're just getting a simple white fondant, you're going to add your own flowers, often you're still paying hundreds of dollars for that. Don't ever say it's a wedding cake, surely. So I think that's what we've learned from this, as if you can get away with... But apparently they're saying social media is a big part to blame in this. They said our parents' generation had a few pictures on the wall and in photo albums

and our generation broadcast them to everyone we've ever known. Well, that's got a difference. That makes a difference. Well, not for a DJ price. Yeah. Why should that? I don't know.

Or even a wedding cake. It shouldn't matter. But can you get in trouble? So if you said, okay, I need a DJ for five hours and you don't say it's a wedding, can they like get angry at you? Not if they've given you a quote. Yeah.

Not if they've supplied you with a quote. Just say this is the location they need for five hours. Okay. It's a party. So just leave that wedding out of all inquiries. Yeah, I would. Just say it's a function where two people are going to declare their love.

One might be wearing a white dress. No, because they'll be like, hmm, Kermit ceremony, that's three quarters of a wedding price. All right, next on the show, Queensland, Australia. Yeah, they're adding something to their number plates. The official design is out soon. I like this.

And this isn't an April Fool's either. Too early. Too early. Too early. I saw this news story, thought it might have been an early set up for an April Fool's, but I don't think it is. It's the 19th of Feb, it's too early. It's far too early.

And then it's been officially on the news in Australia. Emojis will soon be on our number plates. An idea that's creating mixed emotions. The new design is being released next month in Queensland. You can have a laugh out loud, a wink, a sunglasses, a heart eyes, or just a smile. It will cost you anywhere between $160 and $500. Not everyone is excited by the idea.

It's a f***ing idea then, yeah. It's a sh**ty idea. Sh**ty. Yeah, sh**ty idea. I hate it. I believe it. So you're allowed the sunglasses face, the heart eyes, the winky, the smile and one other. So they're all face emojis. So you can't choose any emoji. You can't go eggplant yet. That was immediately what I thought.

Eggplant, water squirt. Because when you're reporting the number plates, you'd have to say what was on it, and old people might not know, like really old people might not know what the emoji is. Like it was a yellow circle with it. Because when you remember when you had your accident, Caitlin, you were able to identify the guy that had and ran you

because he had a personalised plate. But could you imagine reporting to the police if it was like an emoji and then some numbers? Yeah. Well, God. It was a smiley face. Because sometimes the faces are hard to explain with the tongue pokey out but only to the side,

not the tongue pokey out down to the side. Is that one of them? Is that the laugh out loud? No, laugh out loud's a different one. Right, okay. Is the cry laugh? No. I think cry laugh is the laugh out loud.

But the number plates will be still unique. That'll just be added to them, right? Correct. Like, you could have Fletch, laughy face. Yeah. And then someone else could have Fletch sunglasses face. Oh, okay.

So that could get confusing for people when reporting. Oh, so they can, it is. It's an official part of the number plate. It's not like, it counts as one of the digits

from what I can see because otherwise these number plates are only five long. Okay. And in Queensland, I think, yeah, they're longer. And in New South Wales, if they take on they're longer again, their number plates have only five long. Okay. And in Queensland, I think, yeah, they're longer.

And in New South Wales, if they take on that longer again, their number plates have got more digits on them. This is actually like, it does sound like an April Fool's joke. Like, it's ridiculous that we're doing this. And you're paying like a lot of money just to have an emoji on you. Yeah. But then I always thought like personalized plates are so expensive. Yeah. For what, like, I personalized plates are so expensive. Yeah.

For what, like I saw one for sale the other day. It just popped up on Trade Me. It was like one of those promoted posts. Yeah. And the guy wanted something

like $9,000 for his personalized plate. Well, you know the ones that sell really well are the lucky numbers. The lucky numbers. Like is it eight? Well, licensed plates

with all eights? Yeah. Because it's like a really superstitious lucky number. Yeah, right. I just wanted to remember like we've worked on radio a really superstitious lucky number. Yeah, right. I just wanted to remember, like, we've worked in radio long enough that when we're the ads, plates, plates. So in 2016, on the 1st of August, plates.co.nz lost its contract to the New Zealand Transport

Agency, and so they don't sell personalized plates anymore. Someone else does now. Yeah. Yeah. I forget which one, but yeah. Yeah. I didn't know that. So this is Australia. Well, maybe I heard it,. I didn't know that. So this is Australia.

Yeah, so this is happening in Queensland because they've got different number plates in different states. Also, a good question came from, my daughter Indy has been recently a little bit into number plates. Like when we're out, she's like I'm going to look for another plate that starts with the letter and then chucks it and then she's like found one.

That must be great because they must like shut up in the car. Yeah, and just really like pay attention. She said, why do we still call them number plates when now there's as many letters on the plates

as numbers? Just call them plates. I was like, that's a very, very good question. I don't have an answer for that, which is becoming

an answer to her questions more and more often. That's a very good question. I don't have an answer for that. Next, I just want to talk about a hot backpacker who's coming to New Zealand.

Oh, this is blowing up, hasn't it? God, this just made me so angry. Does your dad need some help on the farm for him? Oh, I know the one you're talking about. He's not allowed. Let's discuss this Finnish backpacker. Mari Vahinen. Vahinen. Vahinen. Mari Vahinen. Vahinen.

Mari Vahinen. Megan, you always know the rule. When you don't know how to pronounce someone's name, just say it quickly. Say it with confidence. And if they're Scandinavian, check it out. Vahinen. Vahinen.

Yeah, see, that sounded much more like that's how you say her name. Mari Vahinen. She's been working in Australia for two years and she's moving to New Zealand in two weeks and she wants a job on a farm. Simple enough. Didn't this blow up?

So she's got a lot of attention because... So where did she originally post that she wanted a job? Was it on her Facebook page for farm workers? On a farming site? Yeah. Right, okay. So she's 28. She's blonde and she is attractive.

I don't think anyone's going to argue with that. She says, I'm reliable, hardworking and fit due to my background and personal training. I'm motivated and work with common sense and always up for a challenge. I'm great with animals and operating machinery. And she put a photo up with it. Regardless of looks, that sounds like a diligent worker. It does, yeah. So she's got skills including machine operation, cattle work, horse grooming.

But she has been working in Brisbane on the airport runway. So she's got like very skilled person. Right, just doing what most Kiwis do, travel the world, get a few odd jobs along the way. Yeah. Okay, easy enough. Yeah, The post got 1,600 comments. They ranged from mild

to indecent inces. And a lot of them had not a lot to do with employing her, shall I say. For farming. No. People were like, send me a copy of your CV and I'll quickly nip out and buy a farm.

There's a lot of sleazy ones. That's at the light end of the comments. That's at the, okay, that kind of made me smile a little bit. Yeah. End of comments. Yeah. So don't think we're wildly offended by that comment because that's not. There are comments that I wouldn't read out loud.

Yeah. There are comments that people write that they forget that somewhere this, much like them, they're writing the comments, this is somebody's daughter. Yeah. This is somebody's sister. This is, you know, in the future, somebody's mother and the current granddaughter. Yeah.

So, I mean, there is lots of comments. Looks like you'll have a husband the day you get here, possibly a farm of your own too. Again, that's at the very light end. I'm scrolling. The problem I have, it is awful. And someone made the point like, can you tell me the difference between this and 99% of the comments

that came from females when Sunny Bell took a shirt off on the rugby field? Yeah, I mean, both inappropriate. We'll give you that. But now a lot of people are saying, well, what did she expect? Don't put a picture up with your CV. It's like, well, of course you put a picture up with your CV. The picture they use in the paper, she's literally in high-vis work gear. And smiling.

Yeah. Yeah. So, I mean, she can't win. And then there's lots of females saying, of course she knew she was going to get that attention. She knows she's pretty. Oh, don't do that. Don't do that either.

You're selling out your sister. Yeah. You've got to support your sisters and be like, no, she didn't go up there to be hit on. And talk to some females, regardless of how they look, in trades, more labour-intensive trades. Yeah. And the struggle just to be taken seriously as a female

by these traditionally male-dominated industries, regardless of your looks, is pretty hard. And some of them have just chucked it in because it's too much. Just what? Every single day, the comments, the jokes, and it might start out lighthearted, but if you hear something over and over and over and over, day in, day out, it gets to start out lighthearted, but if you hear something over and over and over and over day in, day out,

it'll get to you. Yeah, it gets to you. Well, that's what females are saying. It's no wonder that these industries lack females because this is what they have to put up with every day. Yeah. She said she was surprised, but I don't really care what people say about my looks, so I didn't get upset.

I mean, she said, I work in a male-dominated industry and you always get those few odd people who think women should go sit in the office. I like my job. I've worked with so many great people who have stood up for me. So, I mean, good on her, but let's just be mindful when you're... What did she say about the attention? Because, like, she hasn't even come to New Zealand yet

and everybody's talking about her. And plus, I think she put her Instagram in the post and the amount of guys that have said, oh, what's the Instagram? Oh, it's in the story, bro. Oh, yeah, we cried around the computer in the post and the amount of guys that have said, oh, what's the Instagram? Oh, it's in the story, bro. Oh, yeah, we cried around the computer in the office. It's just like, do you hear yourselves? But then she's being blamed for adding her Instagram

because everyone's like, well, you got the likes now, didn't you? Come on. Come on. She's a babe, but she just wants a job on a farm, okay? Just chill out. Yeah, I don't think anyone's wife's letting their husband just in. Dad's definitely not allowed in your farm. Oh, there's absolutely no way she'd be working on our non-existent farm

but good luck to her. You don't even have a farm, you're like, don't even think about it. I said non-existent farm. Yeah, I know. You're not even in the arena of hiring and you're like, absolutely not, Andrew. All right, any ideas? We want to talk about what you've had to get back from an ex because,

and this is a great advertisement for her podcast, if nothing else, a woman from Sydney, Jana, she has described how she, I guess, broke into her ex's house to delete her nudes off his phone. So they were going out and then obviously she sent in a consensual relationship. They'd sent some pictures to each other. Okay. Then they'd broken up and she was worried about what he was going to do with them. She didn't want him to have them anymore.

So when he was sleeping, she snuck into his house and deleted them off his phone. While he was sleeping? Yeah. Wow. She did say this was a couple of years ago before phone security was as tight as it is now. Right. But she chucked it out there and she was met with quite a response. A lot of people saying, well, that's burglary.

No, it's not. It's breaking and entering, but it's not burglary. Well, she didn't. Yeah, she technically deleted what was hers. Yeah. Yeah. That's, okay, because that's the problem with revenge porn. It's a big thing now, isn't it?

Can there be some? People have these photos and they'll put them up online. No, but if they put them up online, Matt, you need to read about the Harmful Digital Communications Act. Because if you're doing anything on your phone, like bullying someone, if you've got nudes in them and you're blackmailing them, if you say, I wish you would die or anything and there's a digital imprint of you doing it, you could be in massive trouble.

The Harmful Digital Communications Act, you should read up on it. There's a lot to it. But after you've read up on it. There's a lot to it. Right. But after you've broken up with someone, there should be some kind of law that says they have to get rid of those photos. Because the thing is, you might not post them online, but what's to stop your ex from showing all his mates? And from showing people it's on their phone?

You know, like, it's your property. Once you're no longer together, you should be able to revoke that. Well, I was going to say, maybe you just don't film it in the first place, but at the time you're all in love and it doesn't matter, does it? Well, that's what a lot of people have said to her,

which is not very helpful. They've said, you know, like, you shouldn't have taken these in the first place. Bad decisions have consequences. But you're in a consenting relationship. Yeah. Yeah. Because you're well known for having your vault,

your special folder on your phone with a password. Yeah. With all of Mr. Toyboy's naughty photos. So if anything happens to my phone, hopefully that's secure. That's secure. But say you broke up and he said, okay, well, look, we're breaking up. I want you to delete the vault. You'd have no problem doing that, would you?

Did he cheat on me? No. Okay. Well, say he did. Oh, no. You see, I'm not that type of person. I wouldn't. You're not vindictive. Yeah, I wouldn't either.

I definitely wouldn't post those because everyone would be like, well, you're just nasty. It comes back on you then. But if he asked you nicely and said, look, you've got to delete those. I would delete them. You'd delete them. Yeah. And you wouldn't want them anymore. What are you going to delete them. Yeah. And you wouldn't want them anymore. What are you going to do with them?

Yeah, I wouldn't want them anymore. Because as previously stated, it's really intense nowadays. Yeah. You can get in a lot of trouble. Oh, heck yeah. So I can kind of understand, whilst it is breaking and entering, I can kind of understand that she wanted them back. She didn't trust him to delete them.

Yeah. It's very personal. I'd like to know what you've had to get back from an ex this morning. And I don't mean like breaking and entering. I just mean what did you have at your ex's place that you needed back? And it's a hard situation, isn't it? Because you've done the breaking up. There might have been tears and there might have been some fighting.

Yeah. And you're like, oh, shit. Sort of like revenge on them, but just getting your stuff back. Just what have you had to get back? And maybe it wasn't something big like a PlayStation. And that sucks because you never want to see them again, but then you're like, hey. Maybe you've left your favourite T-shirt around there.

Would you go back for your favourite T-shirt? You'd have to. Yeah. It's your favourite T-shirt. You just don't want them to have it. Unless you just really don't want to see them again and you just write it off your favourite t-shirt. Courier it to me. I'll send you a courier bag. I'll send you a courier bag, yes.

That's a good, like a self-addressed envelope. Yeah. Alright, well let's take some calls. 0800 dials at M. You can text us as well 9696. What did you have to get back from an ex's place? We're talking about what you had to get back off your ex after you broke up. A story from Australia

Was it a podcaster? Yeah Told a story about how she broke into her ex's house a few years ago And deleted nude photos and everything off his phone So he couldn't have those Someone said what about the cloud? From both sounds of it this was pre-cloud Pre-cloud

Pre-cloud Nude photos So some text messages in about what you had to get back off your ex. Yeah. Somebody said, my ex left a bag of stuff here. So he said he needed his passport back as it was in the bag. There were some clothes. And I was surprised when going through the bag to find Viagra.

Oh, okay. I was about 19 at the time. So I posted it to his parents, except I put the Viagra outside the bag so that that was the first thing that fell out when they opened it, as soon as I addressed it to them. Good chat there. It's good. It's good from you.

Somebody else said I had to, in fact, very similar story, I had to go and get the sex tape back. I absolutely know why I was trusting him to have that. He's the kind of guy that would get drunk and pop it into the machine and show everybody. Into the machine? Actual sex tape. When did this happen in that?

Oh, right, okay. Sex tape. Is this a message from the 80s or something? Maybe. On VHS? You know, people could do that back in the day. Yeah, right. The more affluent couples.

I just set up a tripod with a camcorder. It's not like everybody had it back in the day. Kyla has called. Kyla, this is quite fresh. The boyfriend or the ex has still got something? The ex-boyfriend? Yeah, my house key. Oh, no.

So you broke up at the weekend and he's still got it? Still got it because I was that awful person that did it via text. Oh, you broke up with him. Okay, yeah. See, that would have been a good incentive to do it in person. You could have just, hey, have you got that key? By the way, I'm breaking up. Goodbye.

Yeah, can I have that house key back on? Yeah. See ya. Does he want to give it back? Well, he seemed fine to give it back, but it was like a very blunt answer. Oh, well. I mean, you broke up with him. Yeah, the pleasantries are over along with the relationship.

I'm like, do I need to change my house locks or what do I need to do? Yeah, but can't you just go back around and get it? No, because it's on his car keys. Yeah, but he'll be home later. Could you just go around and see him? No, it's probably not the best. So you're going to go to the expense of getting new locks put on your house rather than the awkwardness of getting the key back?

Well, because I went to China for a month and I was like, I'll wait till I get back and do it in person. And then I was like, I can't be, like, I don't have the time to do it in person because we both work different schedules, so I tend to skip. Send him a courier bag. Yeah. Just pop it in here. Just pop it in here.

It's already self-addressed. Yeah, exactly. It's like when you enter the competition on What Now? You send a selfier bag. Yeah. Just pop it in here. Send it. Just pop it in here. It's already self-addressed. Yeah, exactly. It's like when you enter the competition on What Now? You send a self-addressed envelope. Yeah. Yeah, very much the same. Kyla, thanks for your call. No worries.

Some text messages in on the topic of having to get something back off your ex. I bought my boyfriend at the time Beats limited edition headphones. And after we broke up, I went to his house, but he wasn't there. I told his mum that he had some of my headphones, she said, oh, please dear, come on in. So I went in and grabbed them and on the way out, she said I was a real shame what happened. So shout out to his mum for being a GB. But you bought them for him as a present. Yeah, you can't take those back. I had to get back my dad's ashes from my ex's place.

We purchased a house together. Dad was on the bookshelf. Oh, okay. And my ex was holding him hostage. So I had to wait until he was at work one day, break in through the laundry window. I got dad back and I also got a restraining order as well. Against?

No, the person got a restraining order against them for breaking into their house. Well, they were hostaging Dad, weren't they? Yeah, they were. Dad was being a hostage. My ex got his lawyer to send me a letter to ask for his cast iron frying pan and hedge trimmer's back. But I tell you what, when you've got a good cast

iron pan... But like, you'd have to pay lawyer's fees for that. Yeah, obviously. He didn't have the balls to ask in person, so he paid a lawyer. Well, because he'd been cheating on me for months. Right. And when he broke up with me, he literally the next day was with the girl that he'd been cheating on me with. Ah, right.

So the pan was returned after what I call the help movie treatment. I was about to say, what are you going to do to that pan before you give it back? And the scene where the maid bakes brownies. And then she's like, eat much. Yeah. That's it. I like to think him and the girlfriend had a nice fried meal together.

You would scrub that before you used it. Oh, without a doubt. I'd re-season the entire thing. Scrub it right down, vinegar and baking soda it. And someone said, I had a Tupperware bottle in my ex's fridge. We ended badly, lots of tears and crying. Then I remembered he had my Tupperware bottle. I was not

prepared to sacrifice my Tupperware bottle and my pride. So I went around and had makeup sex at his house. Grabbed the bottle and left. Then reinstated the breakup status. Got my bottle back though. Do not get between a woman and her Tupperware.

How's the pride, though? Did you get the pride back? There would be a little bit of pride in doing that, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. I think I got my Tupperware back. How much is Tupperware, though? Just buy a new one.

Oh, but you know when you get a good Tupperware, you can come. Like one that doesn't leak. Yeah, right. You know, it's an old favourite. Maybe you left it on something hot once and it's got a melty bit on it. We're joined in studio by special guest, winner of Heartbreak Island last year, Harry. Good morning.

Good morning, everyone. Happy Tuesday. Initial heartbreak because last time you were in, producer Caitlin was flirting up a storm and she's got a boyfriend now. Yeah, it's absolutely shocking. Broke my heart. Yeah. But yeah, look, I don't know.

I don't know. I don't know how I feel. I was pretty heartbroken. I saw her at the launch. We had a bit of fun together. Yeah. Obviously, the chemistry is never going to leave. Yeah.

With love like that. But yeah, new guy on the scene. All right. Yeah. So no flirting, Caitlin? No. Yeah, I had to tell Harry that he wasn't allowed to flirt with me because I've got a boyfriend.

And then I accidentally keep touching his leg and then I had to remind myself that I had a boyfriend. So sad. We're just like connected spiritually. Oh no, Vaughn, I'm not. I mean, whatever, Harry, stop flirting with me. I've got a boyfriend. I'm just shaking my head.

That stuff doesn't get said out loud. Harry just spat his gum in your hand. That was little bit sexy it was professional right okay i didn't touch it apart from that it was in my hand so what in your mouth now no it's not i promise okay what are you doing this time around a heartbreak island then not competing no no thank god um i'm just i'm just watching the sidelines it's um it's watch it, you know, watch everyone make dicks themselves. And it'll be you. Yeah, with anxiety this time. So it's going to be good.

Yeah, I'm interested. So how's life been since you won Heartbreak Island? Chaos. Absolute chaos. Heaps of fun. Heaps of drama. What's the drama? Me and George's relationship started in a drama field.

And it pretty much just was there the whole time. Just up and downorge's relationship started in a drama field and it pretty much just was there the whole time just up and down how are you and um yeah just chaos what did it not end oh no no no how did it end then who broke up with who oh i think i just blocked through everything and i was like oh yep see you later and then um yeah i saw one of her friends out and she's like oh i'm here with georgia and i'm like who i have no idea who that is and he's like your ex-girlfriend never met her no idea so we're like every time i see it's just like a white wall like is there someone here wow that bad yeah that was just toxic i was i just got real down depressed after it so i was like yeah look i'm just gonna get this out of the,

I don't know, like out of the way and just move on, be happy. Yeah. Yeah. Anyway. This doesn't sound like a great advert. But no, it's nice because you're being honest. It's better than they coming here and they bullshit about how it all, oh, you know, we're just friends now.

No, they're not. They're just close here. Honest talk about it. So what do you do? What do you have done it all over again? Well, Caitlin's got a friends now. No, they're not. They're just close. I see your honest talk about it. So would you have done it all over again? Well, Caitlin's got a boyfriend now, so of course I would. Yeah. My real love is gone. So yeah, sign me up.

Season three. Let's go. Well, that's what I was going to say. Are you taken now or are you still single? Oh, I'm single. Oh, yeah. I think I'm just going to take it easy. I've just been focusing on myself, work,

and just trying to not make a dickhead of myself, which I'm really good at. It's like a talent. Yeah. But you've met some of the girls on this season. Yeah. Thoughts? Yeah.

Met them? Yeah. Good friends. A couple of them. Like before any of this, anyway. Yeah. Like it's gotta it's gotta be a big season

I already I already know some of the boys on there just in it to just cause a riot Samuel

wow I'm family friends with him and I just know the stuff he gets up on the weekend and I'm like mate if that's on camera

you're gonna get a lawsuit like real quick so yeah this season it is a bunch weekend and I'm like, mate, if that's on camera, you're going to get a lawsuit, like real quick. So, yeah, this season, it is a bunch of crazy, crazy kids. It's on. What's your advice then? Advice. For these contestants.

Oh, just stay out of trouble. When there's a bad episode on, just, just hide. Especially for Sam. I know he's got a, got a lot of stripe coming his way. Yeah. Yeah. Wow. So what is next for you?

Where you at? Um, top secret at the moment. I'm about to sign a deal. Hopefully, fingers crossed. Um, and then I should be off to the UK for a bit.

Oh, okay. Interesting. But I've got my sunglasses company and stuff like that. Oh, yeah. You never sent me any of those. Oh, I can send you all some. No, it's fine. I don't want pity sunnies. You sent Caitlin sunglasses, but not us. Harry, I don't want your pity sunnies.

I want you to be on the initial list. If you want sunburned retinas, then take a't want your pity sunnies. I want you to be on the initial list. sunburned retinas then take a pair of your pity sunnies. Ouch. That's all I can say. I can send you the whole stack.

Right. Next time I'm in I'll bring in a stack. Okay. Thanks. Well, Heartbreak Island it's streaming right now. The first episode

is out today. It came out this morning at six o'clock. TVNZ On Demand if you want to watch it there'll be an EPS each week obviously. So TVNZ 2 at 6 o'clock. TVNZ On Demand, if you were to watch that, there'll be EPS each week, obviously. So TVNZ 2 at 9.30pm, that's Tuesday to Thursday as well.

Right, okay, and TVNZ On Demand. Harry, thank you so much for coming in. Thank you guys, good to see you again. Caitlin, any last words? I will always love you, even though I'm not allowed to. Oh my God, you are bad at relationship stuff. just shut your mouth

on behalf of everybody okay i'm sorry i love her fact of the day is about basketball shorts. Okay. And why they're longer than standard sports shorts. You think of sports that involve shorts around the world. You've got rugby shorts, soccer shorts, all above the knee shorter shorts. It's a mid-thigh shorts. Back in the day when basketball was like, they were wearing Converse, and in the 70s, didn't they wear shorty shorts?

They wore shorty shorts. Shorty shorts, yeah. They wore shorty shorts. Because you see photos of basketball in the 70s, and it's quite funny. Yes. Because you're just like, those shoes would be hella uncomfortable. Yeah. And hee, hee, hee, look at your shorty shorts.

Long, skinny legs with pulled up socks. Yeah. And shorty shorts. Is it just because they're tall and they've got really long legs, they need more shorts. No, no, because they were tall back in, so 1988 this changed, is when basketball shorts got long.

Is that to do with health and safety? No. Is it to do with fashion? No. Doodles. I liked how you knew what you wanted to ask, but you tried to cushion it with a couple before. Yes, yes, Megan.

The NBA increased short length because penises were popping out the bottom of the shorty shorts. Is that a no? More tall African-American men with sizable appendages were playing on court. Is that it court first grade basketball and the ends were hanging out. No, it's not.

I thought I'd nailed it. Because they wear undies underneath. You could hold it in. You wear undies, yeah. You could hold it in. This came in 1987 and it was because of Michael Jordan. Okay.

Who said he needed longer shorts because when he bent over on the court and his thing came out the end of it. No. Oh, okay. He leant over. He wanted to be able to hold on to his shorts when he bent over. He was so exhausted that he said if he slumped over,

he needed to be able to hold on to something to stop him falling forward. So with the short shorts, he could hold – you imagine – Shorty shorts. Shorty shorts. You grab both of your lean. It's not enough. But if you're long and tall and you want to lean over more, he needed to grab shorts just at knee height and, like,

hold on to the thing. Right. Because he was so out of breath from playing. Right. So because he was Michael Jordan and, well, did what he wanted. Michael Jordan does what he wants and everybody says, yes, Mr. Jordan. Sir Jordan. The following year, Champion, who was the brand that was doing the uniform at that time, Fletch's favourite.

Fletch is wearing a T-shirt. Fletch's favourite brand. They made the shorts longer as per Michael Jordan's request. And now everyone just wears longer shorts. Now basketball shorts are always long. Yes. Man, changed a whole sports fashion. Just because he was like, I need something to hold on to when I lean long. Yes. Man. Changed a whole sports fashion. Just because he was like, I need something to hold onto when I lean over.

That's crazy. And they were like, yes, Mr. Jordan. But like, your knees are there. Just put your hands on your knees. Yeah, but they're sweaty, aren't they? They're sweaty. Oh, yeah, okay. You slide right off.

You don't want to be leaning on a slippery shelf and you just, wow, there's no stopping you. And you've got a bit of forward motion. You end up on your face. So Adidas, the only other major change is that in 2013, the Golden State Warriors became the first NBA team to wear jerseys with sleeves. It was, of course, the basketball singlet. Oh, yeah, right. But they tried it with sleeves. That's the only other major change.

I don't know. I don't think they still do. Okay. Because that's who Steve... No, he plays for Oklahoma City Thunder. You all think of Steph Curry. Steph Curry plays for them. But some of them wear singlets and ad sleeves.

Yeah, they wear like a compression-y sports top underneath. But they have to wear the uniform on top. Because sponsors are paying bajillions of dollars to have their uniform out there so that people don't buy them. But again, nothing to do with their big old... Doodles. No, poking out of the bottom.

No, unfortunately. I mean, as Michael Jordan, that's what I would have said. Sure. I just feel like it's just about to fall out the bottom. So today's fact of the day is the reason basketball shorts are longer than other sports shorts is because Michael Jordan wanted to hold on to them when he was bent over puffed. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Last evening, my lovely wife was making,

what's that thing, Maggie? Vegetable gratin. Am I saying that right? Gratin, yeah. Gratin. Gratin, what's vegetable gratin? Oh, what's that thing, Megan? Vegetable gratin. Am I saying that right? Gratin, yeah. Gratin. Gratin. What's vegetable gratin? Oh, it's pretty good.

Slice it up. Yeah, you layer it. It's like, you know, a potato gratin. It's just like potato bake. Don't, don't slash it up with that. What's that word? Gratin. Gratin.

It's like ratatouille, mate. It's a potato bake or a vegetable bake. No, no, no. Well, it wasn't. Or like scalloped potatoes or. Yeah, nah. Right. Good stuff, though.

Okay. So she's making one of those. Yeah. I'm like, yes. Slash it wasn't. Scalloped potatoes or... Yeah, nah. Right. Good stuff, though. Okay. So she's making one of those. I'm like, yes. Yes, Slash. I know, I know. I'm excited for it. Okay. And she's getting to the...

Maybe even the penultimate ingredient. Second to last ingredient. Mom said gratino. Might as well say penultimate instead of second to last. And she said, do we still have cream? It's got cream in it. It's a rich dish. It's got cream in it. It's a rich dish. It's a rich dish. And I say, yeah, I think there's

some in the fridge, but I don't know about the date. And she gets it out and it says the 9th of February on it. And yesterday was the 18th of February. So we're nine days past. Best before I say to her. See, because I don't know about cream.

Milk, because I read an article last week in the UK, 150 million pounds of milk is wasted in the UK a year. Well, I drink milk way past. Yeah, because milk's 100%. Give it a sniff. Give it a poke. That's what they say is they put these really conservative best before dates on.

Well, they have to because then someone drinks it the day after and they're like, I nearly died. Yeah, and especially like I get that trim stuff. That's real like watery. Watered down, yeah. So I reckon that lasts longer than your full cream. Because of the water. I put it in my tea and I got lumpy bits the other day and I just

sipped the lumpy bits out. Hot play from you. Grim. Because that sounds like someone on the poverty line but then she's like just doing that because waste not, want not, spend the money on shoes. And I wanted a cup of tea. Yeah. I'm not precious.

I'll eat most things. So we put the cream down on the bench between us and we both looked at that and she said, do you reckon it's all right? And we gave it the exterior check. So what, this is last night? This is last night. So nine days passed.

Nine days. That said best before, which means best before that date, but will suffice after. It doesn't say off by. No, will self implode on. And like, was it a fresh bottle? Yeah, it hadn't been opened. So that's the thing, when you open it, it's always got a little bit of chunky stuff on the top. It's got the seal on it. Cream does,

yeah, it's got the seal on it. So I, then we open the lid and I peel back the seal and it does have a bit of like thick, thick stuff at the top. So I get a teaspoon and I take that out and I sniff, I sniff both the stuff I've just removed with the teaspoon. Yep.

I pass it to her. It's been under two noses and we can't smell milk. Milk always smells a bit sour, doesn't it? So you know that's off. So that smelled okay. So then we smell from the bottle and she

and I said, I can't. It smells fine. And then we tip a bit into a glass and it runs out. It's fine. There's no lumps or anything. I'm like, okay, this is good. Now, the bit in the glass, I said, I'm going to taste it. Okay.

Because that's the final test. Yeah. Looks okay. Yeah. Smells okay. And so I tip it all into my mouth. And that is the exact moment I realized this is definitely pasta. The second it hit my tongue, I was like, nope.

And I shut my mouth. I kept it in. I was like, mm-mm. She's like, spit it out. I was like, mm-hmm. I'm worried about it. The taste of it was immediately so bad. I was worried about it coming back out of my mouth.

Oh, right. Getting on the lips and everything. I want a lipless exit. Right. So I go over the sink and I go, and I break the seal real quick. And make a, to expel it from my mouth.

I don't want it on my lips. Because you know how, that taste in your mouth, you can wash out, but if it's on your lips, you can smell it, you can taste it for a little bit longer. So,

and it, boom, it hits it and I'm like... Even thinking about it now, it tasted green. What does green taste like? It makes no sense unless you've tasted really bad milk and it tasted like green, what green milk should taste like. Like if the milk was so far past it. But the weirdest thing, there's no other, because then I tipped the rest of the cream

down the sink. It wasn't lumpy. It was just off. It was just off. Very off. Oh, God. Very green tasting. How much did you knock back?

Because I poured, I was like, gloob. And I was like, that looks all right. Gloob, gloob. I'm like, this looks, because I'm like, this looks all good. So if it tastes good, we'll just pour it Into the vegetable gratin Gratin Gratin Whatever

Same thing Both too flash for me So it was It was a fair amount I had a mouthful So what did you do instead then? Well she's like Should we go to the supermarket?

And we're both like Can't really be bothered Because he lives so far away So we just Got a bit of milk. Yep. And then just heaps of grated cheese. That sounds way better.

Because like, what's cream anyway, right? It's just a cheese. Cheesy milk. Yeah, cheesy milk. Milky milk cheese. Yeah, pretty much. Liquidy cheese milk. Yeah, right.

And it was so much better. So we're not going to do cream next time. Just cheese. Straight cheese. Straight cheese. That mascarpone stuff I was talking about. Yeah.'re not going to do cream next time. Just cheese. Straight cheese. Straight cheese. That mascarpone stuff I was talking about. Yeah. What's that?

That's a soft. It's like a thickened real thick cream. That bit of that cheese, bit of grated cheese. Right. We really upped the cheese. How many points was that on my fitness pal? Impossible to work out. So nothing.

Too many variables. So it just got forgotten. The whole dinner was a write off. FEM. ZM. Z-M. Okay, I'm going to read the story. Can I just say, I don't need, it's really lovely of everyone to message me pronunciation guides and stuff, but I don't, I, yeah.

For those that are maybe new to the show, Megan cannot say the spider. The hairy spider, the big one that some people eat in Cambodia and stuff. Tralantula. That was bright, wasn't it? No. Tarantula. A tarantula. I like my way better. There's a new tarantula.

Tarantula. We're gone. Sorry, sorry. This is found in Angola in Africa. The originals, the but go on sorry sorry this is found in Angola in Africa yep and it's I mean the originals the OGs

are scary enough as it is this one's oh I don't want to scroll I'm looking at it it's lighter brown oh yuck

and it's got a big horn on it they've found a tralanchula with a horn it's got a horn like protuberance

On it's back It looks like It just looks like a foot It looks like the bottom Part of the spider's leg Is growing out of it's back Oh yuck It looks like

They've been living In some kind of Nuclear wasteland And they've kind of Adapted Yeah A little bit It's gold

They say it's golden brown With a golden speckled Abdomen Abdomen But Hey So in the local Luchazi language, they call it chandachuli, which is close to what I'm saying. Chandachuli.

Chandachuli. Close enough. It's actually way more fun to say than tarantula. Chandachuli. Yeah. I mean, normally we wouldn't talk about a new species of spider find, would we? Probably not. No.

But there was an amusing mispronunciation to exploit. I'm not saying it again. Apparently, I'm just reading Angola's like might be a treasure trove of undiscovered species. Because when scientists really got into it and identifying the differences between species, not just being like all spiders are spiders, Angola was in the middle of like a civil war.

Are we talking- And it was way too intense for scientists to roll into the middle of. Right. Are you talking all species or all spiders or all of this? All species of everything. Insects and everything in Angola. Yeah. I don't think the horn does anything, right?

It doesn't sting or like- It looks deflated. It looks like- Are we sure it's a horn? Honestly, it just looks like he's grown a leg out of his back. Either way, deflated leg or horn, whatever.

What evolutionary purpose would a soft horn have? I don't know. Imagine a cow, but they had horns, but they were just like floppy dolls. Or like a rhinoceros, but with like a blow-up horn. And it just said yeah, when they deflated. Yeah. Not as scary.

Does it wag? No, it doesn't look wagged because they've got nexus skeleton, don't they, spiders? They don't have internal muscles and bones. Yeah. ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Megan. The podcast. For more, check out FBMZM on Facebook.

ZM.