ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Megan Podcast - February 20 2019

Episode Date: February 19, 2019

It is Vaughan's Birthday! Producer Anya broke up a street fight yesterday and were you a little shit?See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Welcome one, welcome all to the Fletch, Vaughan and Megan podcast brought to you by Spark. Get four gigs of bonus data on Spark's $49 prepaid value pack. Now, on with the podcast. It's on. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. Thanks, Sonia. Good morning. Welcome to the show. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan and happy birthday, Vaughan. Thanks.

Happy birthday, Vaughan. Overshadowed though by the death of Karl Lagerfeld. I think Megan's more upset about that than she is happy that it's your day of birth. RIP. Creative genius that is Karl Lagerfeld. Who did he design for? Chanel. Fendi originally and then Chanel

yeah. Right. Yeah. And you and Mr Toyboy dressed up as him and the cat. He was Karl Lagerfeld and I was Choupette, his cat. Oh, that was... What's happening to Chupette? I don't know. Probably end up on a local Facebook page being like,

hey, I need to rehome this cat. Old man died. Really love to see this cat go to a caring home. No good with children. He was really sick, but they kept it a secret. I heard, but I think, sounds like he had pancreatic cancer. Right. They said, oh, he's all right.

He's not okay. He wasn't, no. No. That's not funny. He's not okay. He's about as far from okay as you can be. He's dead now. ZM Secret Sound, we had a jackpot yesterday

with our malfunctioning phone system. $15,000 is our current jackpot. And I believe producer Caitlin wants the latest with the phone system. We're getting an upgrade, aren't we? Yeah, I don't know. I honestly have no idea. I'm just going around being like,

what's happening? And swearing and then hopefully someone takes me seriously. All right, you lot, listen up. It's story time. Story time, three news headlines for three news stories that are found online. Interesting, unusual, quirky news stories. Vaughan and Megan, pick one of the following three.

Headline one, how do police find DNA? Google search found on man's search history. Headline two, picky drivers diverted. And headline three, $1 pregnancy tests? Question mark. Or $1 pregnancy tests.

Oh, I was going to say, you can choose because it's your birthday, but I also want that one, so that's great. Right, that works for everybody. It all works. Well, in the United States, there is a store called the Dollar Store.

Yep. Much like our $2 shop, our 123, you know, those kind of stores. Yeah. Where everything's imported. Lots of plastic. Yeah. It smells like plastic. It smells like...

Always confused though, you go in and there's something that's like $13. You're like, whoa. Yeah, but they're breaking the mould. Yeah. But you can get some cheap stuff in whoa. Yeah, but they're breaking the mould. Yeah. But you can get some cheap stuff in there. Oh, yeah. Get some cheap stuff. Well, you can also buy at the dollar store $1 pregnancy tests.

Reliable? Well, this is what this article is about and delves into, and it's quite fascinating. How much are pregnancy tests here? You can get the digital ones that are expensive. They're like up $20, $30 or something. But you can get like cheap ones.

Can you reuse the digital? Yeah, there's just the lines and then other ones are like they digitally say not pregnant or pregnant. Well, this is what the article is about is whether or not you should take these $1 pregnancy tests seriously. Does it show what they are or are they the line ones?

They're just a strip, yeah. Just a strip, yeah, just a strip. And apparently the article says yes and delves into why pregnancy tests are so expensive in the first place. Because that's right, it's just a piece of plastic and all that plastic's doing is holding the thing you're about to wee on. It's just the paper. And then the paper's just dipped in of plastic, and all that plastic's doing is holding the thing you're about to wee on. It's just the paper. And then the paper's just dipped in a chemical, right?

And it's the chemical that reacts with the pregnancy hormones. Yeah, so the paper is quite cheap to produce. And apparently you can even go online and get like 20 packs. I don't know if AliExpress have them or whatever, but there's links in the story for like a 20 pack for $4. Because apparently it is just the paper. It's a chemically treated paper. Yeah. And that reacts, like you said.

Yeah. Because apparently you can get like false negatives, but a false positive is not a thing. If it says positive, then it's, you know, it's positive. It's happening, baby. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Wow, okay.

And apparently because in America, the FDA has to approve everything like that that is sold, it's legit. So everyone's like, dollar pregnancy test? Why spend more? So I don't know if our $1, $2, $3 stores or the $2 shop selling these. You know what store I'm into in a big way? And this is not a paid endorsement because they've in no way given me any further discounts

and they're already heavily discounted prices. Okay. Cracker Jacks. What's Cracker Jacks? Oh, girlfriend. It's parallel imported air tang. Air tang. I can't go in there because I'm like

you leave with a million. Name it. I bought Jif million. Like, name it. Like, I bought Jif the other day, but it wasn't Jif, it was Hef. And I tell you what, it works the same as Jif. It's just what Jif's called in Portugal or whatever. It's like, you know how people go to their parallel end of line stuff or all that sort of jazz? Anything. But what kind of toothpaste?

Like, legit stuff? Yeah. Yeah, but it comes from Russia. Like, that's the vibe. It's always got foreign? Like legit stuff? Yeah. Colgate? Yeah. Yeah, but it comes from Russia. That's the vibe. It's always got foreign language written on it. Yeah. Okay, but it's just cheap. Gardening equipment.

Right. There's a garden shed in there I've got my eye on. Right. What else is in there I've got my eye on? Oh, like garden surrounds, like tin surrounds, so you can make a veggie patch. Oh, okay. Like a raised veggie patch.

Yeah. I've got my eye on a couple of those. Yeah. Oh, raised veggie patch. Yeah. Come on, a couple of those. Yeah. Oh, it's got everything. Yeah, I don't know anything. I'm not saying it's of the highest quality ever. Right. Oh, it's good fun.

But then everything's like cheaper, so you're like, I need that. I need that. I need that too. Oh, I need that. Yeah, there's stores like that in Australia I've seen. Yeah. Oh, this is maybe. It's like Kmart on crack.

Yeah. On Cracker Jack. That's why it's called Cracker Jack. Right, okay. Because It's like Kmart on crack. Yeah, that's why it's called Cracker Jack. Right, okay. Because everything's so cheap, you're just like, I need all of this. I definitely need it. Right, okay. Is there only one? No, no, no, there's multiple. They never heard of this. They used to call it something else, eh? The Clarence Shed?

Is that what they were called? No. Yes. Something. No, they're all called Cracker Jack. Unbelievable. You should look and see if there's oneacker Jack. It's nuts. Unbelievable. You should look and see if there's one by you. It's a bit more of a suburban store though, not an inner city. Yeah, well, it's not going to be on Queen Street, is it?

No. Nah. Nah, probably not. You might have to lime scooter, but then that's a fool's errand because there's no way you're going to get all your goody time on a lime scooter. FM. This is absolutely mad because I did this when I was a kid and lots of people probably have. It's just whether your parents humoured you

or told you you were being stupid. A kid in the UK, his name is William, he bought a supermarket egg but it was a duck egg, not like a chicken egg. They sell duck eggs? Yeah.

Okay. So they bought half a dozen duck eggs and he... Better for you, eh? Are they? Have you ever looked at the nutritional breakdown of a duck egg versus a chicken egg? Okay. So they bought half a dozen duck eggs and he- Better four your way. Are they? Have you ever looked at the nutritional breakdown of a duck egg versus a chicken egg? Well, like more protein or something. But just everything.

Well, I'm just Googling now. Wendell told me that. Wendell missed it. She's like, you should get ducks. I was like, the only thing is they shit way more. Oh, yeah. And they could fly away. Yeah.

I don't want to clip their wings. Are they laying one a day? I think so, if you get the right breed. Really? So calories from fat from a duck egg, 87.

87 calories. Total calories, 130 calories. Oh, okay. That might be a bit more than a chicken egg. And then, yeah, that's,

I don't know, what's a normal egg? Did you not go duck egg versus chicken egg? Nutritional facts. Come on. Okay, so a chicken egg averages 71 calories, but a duck egg averages 130.

So less calories. These calories come from a higher mix of proteins, fats, and carbohydrates. Duck egg whites are harder to whip up because they have a lower water content than chicken egg whites. Oh, well, that's no good for an omelette. Or a meringue. Or a meringue, certainly not. I wouldn't be whipping up a goose meringue either.

Oh, yeah, a goose egg looks all right is that even quite a lot of fat in a goose egg okay what's a kiwi egg oh it'd be better i would if i had the opportunity okay well i'm not here to break down the nutritional value if they weren't endangered. Totally. You'd give it a go. Right, okay. Yeah. So he bought a duck egg, half-risen duck eggs, and he was like, he's 14,

he was convinced he could hatch one of them. And that's when we're all like, oh yeah, okay, we tried that when we were little. Except he went one step further than I did and he bought a $75 incubator from eBay

and he chucked the eggs under it and he has managed to actually hatch a duck, a little duckling from one of the eggs. How does this work though? Because they have to be fertilised and I would have thought they wouldn't be fertilised if they made it to the supermarket.

Well it must have been. See I saw the story and I immediately thought well here's some greenies or some vegans trying to pull one over on us. Right. Because it's very slim chance of this happening. It doesn't go into their background. Like, I can't, I don't know that they are vegans or.

I'm calling it a hoax. Are you? It's a hoax to make you feel bad about buying eggs. And the whole world's bought it. Have we looked into this family? It's a hoax to make you feel bad about buying eggs. And the whole world's bought it. Have we looked into this family? Well, they did say fertilised eggs are harmless to eat and without incubation could totally be indistinguishable from unfertilised eggs.

Right. Right. So it could have happened. But I'm just saying, if you were a 14-year-old, would you go out and spend $95 on an incubator? No, you'd buy lollies. I would never have had $75. You'd buy lollies.

My dad obviously bought it. It's another red flag. If someone had been at his $75 for your incubator, I would have been like, or a video game. Exactly. You'd buy a PlayStation game. You're not going to buy an egg incubator in the hope you can incubate an egg from the supermarket.

Also, I'd be worried about that. It sounds like a psycho in the making. Doesn't it? Yeah. I'm going to hatch a duck egg. Why? We never know. Okay, man. Well, I thought this was a really sweet story and you two have managed to

pull it all over it. I'm too cynical. There's more to it. Mark my words, it'll come out in a few days. Mark my words. Lime scooters. Lime scooters. Lime scooters. The lime scooter craze. And he was just going too fast, so I jumped out the way.

Another day, another lime scooter story. That's right. Looks like we're getting an official inquest. Right. Into this locking up lime scooter situation. So more people coming forward saying that they've been riding along and their Lime Scooters have locked up. Yep.

27-year-old Liam Thompson was a high-profile situation because he suffered a broken jaw. I saw the photo. He looked like he was in hospital in that photo. Well, yeah, the x-rays and everything. It's a serious situation because apparently locked up. He went over the handlebars. Then a Lime Scooter rider and Auckland-based senior software architect,

Robert, came forward and said, mine locked up yesterday at about 40 kilometres an hour. 40 kilometres? He was going down the Grafton Gully cycleway. Oh, jeez. So that's beside, in Auckland, that's beside Spaghetti Junction. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And it's steep.

Down towards the ports. Yeah. That would... You could be rocketing down there. Anyway, he said it didn't throw him off, but he did a pretty decent drift. Right. The story then says a drift is when a vehicle skids sideways.

I love... Just in case anybody doesn't know what drifting is. Yeah. Then somebody else said this lock-up happened to one of our people going down Queen Street. This is from a fund manager. Yeah. Then somebody else said this lock-up happened to one of our people going down Queen Street. This is from a fund manager. Okay. And somebody else said they were going down Queen Street in the high 20s when they started

braking a little bit and the front wheel totally locked up and they went flying over the handlebars. Because that's the thing, the brake on the Lime is a back brake, but if it locks, it's front wheel. Yeah. I believe so. Right. That's a full lock function. That's not a gradual brake situation.

That's instant wheel isn't turning. Yeah. Expectably chucking a stick in the spokes. Yeah. That's scary. So the latest is, and Intern Anya mentioned this from the news desk, that Auckland Council are meeting with Lime or have met. Mm-hmm.

Yep, they've met with them and they want some assurances that there aren't going to be any more injuries. God, because I, you know, I always ride them in the morning to work. Yeah. I love this. This could be me. This has been a problem overseas though, right? Yeah, it's a known problem.

How can they guarantee that it's just not going to happen again? We went on a scooter safari yesterday. I remember when we went to take off and my front wheel fell in that pothole that was the exact shape and size of a lime scooter wheel. And it was like, wow! It literally hadn't even got on and it nearly fell off. No, I was like, wow! And it just, and I can see how when the front wheel goes on, you're toast.

So from then on, I was leaning back a little bit. Why were you guys scooter safariing? Just went for a scooter safari. Why were we all not invited? We were going somewhere. Then we had to go through some roadworks and the footpath looked a little bit busy so I took

to the streets on our scooter safari and I was weaving through some cones and then I saw a fairly plain Holden Commodore with three aerials on the back. And I was like, oh dear, but don't freak out because they can

smell your fear, the police. Yeah. Keep doing what you're doing. So I literally went past the police officer and ran a red light on the line. Oh my God, Boyne! But it's okay because room turned down. He would never have caught me in the busy central open.

Yeah, they wouldn't have caught us because we went down an alleyway to avoid them. I was like, Jason Statham and the transporter. They weren't catching me. Except 100% less cool on your scooter.

Yeah. In fact, that's the next transporter. Transporter, what are they up to for? In a city lime scooter. Yeah. It's fast enough.

Next Fast and Furious season. He might ride a Lime Scooter in there. They'll be fine. They would have been detectives. They're too busy solving murders and burglaries and stuff to pull over Lime Scooters. Yeah, but you two are dancing so close to falling off those scooters or getting hit by a car. Oh, it's imminent any day. I use them every day.

It's a real weird situation when you're going along a footpath because when you go skiing or snowboarding, if you're going to pass someone and they can't hear you coming, obviously you say, throw on the right, and then they know on the right someone's about to pass them. But pedestrians don't know these codes. Like yesterday we were screaming along a busy street, I was like, come and pass on your left. And they were just like, ah, spun to their left.

FEM. Police in America are warning over a new challenge. It's called the 48-hour challenge. And much like, you know, the bird box challenge and the Tide Pod challenge. Yeah. We can't explain these things. They just become a thing. They just happen.

But it only takes one person doing it. And then websites who are desperate for news stories are like, go! I think, I think. Freak out the parents! Yeah, I think that's what this article is about. No mention that this has happened in New Zealand. Right. And even overseas.

You know Snopes? One of my favourite websites. Yeah. If someone tells you a yarn at a party, you're just like, go to Snopes. Hang on a sec. Let me Snopes that. Chuck in some keywords. Let me Snopes that.

Because basically all urban legends, big yarns, it'll break them down with fact or not. Yeah. And this does sound like this is read up a few times before. The 48-hour challenge encourages teenagers to go missing for up to two days at a time and awards points for every social media mention while they're missing.

Oh, my God. That's ridiculous. How ridiculous is that? Like every parent's worst nightmare. That's like running away when you're a kid and just like waiting for them to notice and then you get hungry and go home. Go home.

You realise you've been gone for like 45 minutes. Yes. Yeah. Did you do that? Did you do that? No, did that sound very specific? Yeah, it really did sound like something you would have done. Yeah.

Ran away. Like you just needed attention from mum and dad. Yeah. And you go back and they're like, oh, you're right. You didn't even notice I was gone. And then we ran away and then we got back and we're like, did you not care that we were missing? And mum's like, I could see you at the kitchen window.

We're down in a tree. She's like, I could see your shirts because they're brighter than the trees. Got no leaves on them. We're like, oh, We'll try again later. Can I have a sandwich? I'm hungry. I got hungry. Yeah, well, there's food in the fridge.

Fruit in the bowl. From the ZM Think Tank, this is the Top Six. Well, this is pretty cool. This is happening in Taranaki, which is a surprise that something cool is happening in Taranaki. But, you know.

Hey, hey, hey. I won't have a bad word said about my home province. Oakura, south of New Plymouth, on a 121-acre farm, there is going to be a green school opened. This is a school. It is based upon a school in Ubud. I thought it was Ubud, but this is spelled Ubed.

Oh. In this news story. Maybe there is an Ubud. It's Ubud, yeah. Ubud. but this is spelled Ubed. Oh. In this new story. Maybe there is an Ubed. It's Ubud, yeah. Ubed. In Bali. Hey, newspapers and websites make spelling mistakes too. They shouldn't, but they do.

So it's based on a school from Bali, and it's kind of like an eco-friendly school. It's a green school. The artist's impression showing suspended classrooms all linked through walkways. It looks like a kid's dream school Because it looks like you're going to school in a tree hut And UFOs

Because they look kind of UFO-like They're disc-shaped Yeah, for the Apparently the heating and everything's a lot easier If they're shaped like that They're more of an eco-friendly design I'm all for this This looks so cool

If you're Yeah, totally This looks awesome Great alternative The playground's at the end of the school, and it's all set up as part of it. There's nets and everything. It's elevated.

It looks real cool. So this is apparently going to be built, this green school. Okay. In 2020. So I don't know if that means it's opening in 2021. Or it'll take a little bit longer to build. How long does it take to build UFO classrooms? Oh, quite a while. Okay. It's not known how much little bit longer to build. How long does it take to build UFO classrooms? Oh, quite a while.

Okay. It's not knowing how much it's going to cost. It will cater for years 1 to 13, so the whole way through. Right. And annual fees because it will be a private school because they have to recoup the cost because, you know, the government doesn't have a lot of money to be splashing out on UFO schools.

Yeah. $12,000 a year. Okay. Yeah. So it's all growing locally and everything. So today's top six are the top six features you can expect to see at this green school in Owakura. Number six, insulation is key in any eco design. If you've ever watched green designs and they're talking about, you know, an eco house,

insulation is key. Due to so much power and pollution being caused through keeping warm, so every kid's uniform for the school will be made exclusively of pink bats okay yeah and in the summer it'll be made of leaves okay

because it's all very well and good to have a green school in Bali where you know the temperature never changes and hovers around the late 20s but I've just looked up

the average temperature in June in New Plymouth yeah 14 degrees July and August 13 degrees and it rains over a third of the time.

Yeah, a lot of rain. So it could be slightly different to Bali there for the climate. Number five on the list of the top six features of the 100% green school in Owakura. Speaking of summer, obviously sunscreens have environmentally damaging chemicals in them. So kids will be caked in mud to stop the sunburn. If it's good enough for elephants, it's good enough for your sun-dry-nosed little kids. And good for the skin. Great for the skin, a bit of mud.

Constant mud mask. Oh, yeah, a bit of natural Okura mud. Churn it up on the way in. Just stop and have a roll around into the classroom. Number four on the list of the top six features of the 100% green school that we're going to see in New Zealand. Of course, conserving water, a massive part of reducing your environmental footprint.

So saving water by drinking your own urine at lunchtime and playtime. Okay. Yeah. I mean, when you get home at the end of the day, you'll definitely need a drink of actual water because you've been recycling your own so much. It's probably getting quite...

So no water fountain at the eco school? Yeah. Right. You've got your doodle. Number three on the list of the top six features of the 100% green school in Owakura

are no plastic in your pencil case. Okay. So see you later pens. They'll be going back to feathers with ink pots to dip them in. Very Shakespearean

but only if the bird's feather is found or given with permission not stolen from the bird because that's not very eco friendly. No. Number two on the list

of the top six features of the 100% green school are bicycles that power the school lights and double as PE class. Sort of like a spin class for fitness. And also the teacher will probably charge their iPhone off it. But shh, don't tell anybody.

Don't tell anybody she got an iPhone. And the number one feature of today's top six features of the 100% green school in Owakura in Taranaki. No toilets. You just shit straight into a compost bin. Straight in. You just pop off.

You know, have you ever had one of those round lid compost bins? You kind of got to pull one side up and then work your fingers around to get it off and then just sit on top of that, poop straight in. You're as good as gold. That is today's top six. FEM. Tee hee hee ho hum.

A story from Dunedin involving a Volkswagen Golf. Okay. You know, we're big fans of the Volkswagen Golf and Polo here at the show. Why are we? We're not. Yeah, being sarcastic. We always slam them. Well, no, I, see, if someone gave me a brand new one,

I'd be stoked. Oh, yeah, but I'd want to be rid of it in five years. Just all my friends that have bought secondhand ones, they're breaking down every second day. Yeah, but old cars break down.

That's what they do. Yeah, but with their Toyotas, they cost like $3 to fix. Hey, at least when you're on the side of the road, you look super cute. You've got a point there. So, an 11 year old

Stole his parents car Which was the Volkswagen Which is great for them because he's written it off So they can claim insurance and buy a decent car Can you though? Like you ring up your insurance company And say my 11 year old rode off the family car Is that covered?

I don't know It wasn't an inside job unless you told him to do it. But. Like, he'll get in trouble for as much as an 11-year-old can. Yeah, but I don't know if that would be, would it? Because he's not licensed to drive. He's not licensed to drive, but he fled the scene after flipping. After flipping.

Have you seen the photo? Yeah. Flipped it. It's on its roof. Like, did an absolutely knock-up job. Like, lucky to be alive, actually, to be honest. Wow. So he flipped the car because he can't drive,

and he fled the scene. The police dogs couldn't trace him. Really? I know. You don't have a scent. That's a good thing to know as an 11-year-old that in the future we need to run from the police dogs. You don't have a scent.

Or they were unable to find his scent. Anyway, later on, he turned up at his grandparents' house. And I reckon Grandma would have been like, hello, oh, you look hungry. Because they always say that. Yeah. You're like, I literally have just eaten a smorgasbord. Have some more.

You've got a little cut on your head. Yeah. Anyway, he got caught. And he's been referred to youth aid. Right. But he flipped the Volkswagen. Yeah. And I'm imagining he's going to be in a spot of But he flipped the Volkswagen. Yeah. And I'm imagining

he's going to be in a spot of bother with mum and dad. You'd imagine there'd be some harsh words. I would have got a kick up the arse. Some harsh words for that.

11 years old. What would the worst thing you did be? Oh, not like right off a car. No, I wouldn't have stolen. I shoplifted, remember? Yeah, I shoplifted too.

Was that at 11? Yeah, it was about 11. Just trying to think. I don't think. 11 or Yeah, I shoplifted too. Was that at 11? Yeah, it was about 11. Just trying to think. I don't think. 11 or 12, yeah. Naughty A. You didn't have a mall down the road though, Vaughan. No.

So it was hard for you to shoplift, wasn't it? We didn't have a mall either. That was literally, that was the only thing that stopped me shoplifting geographically. That's why. Because I went to Christchurch and I got so excited. I couldn't afford everything. And you're allowed back at Ricketts Mall. I am.

Because remember we went to Ricketts and that's been lifted. Thanks for having me back at Ricketts Mall. Yeah, that's been lifted. I couldn't afford everything. And you're allowed back at Ricketts and Moore. I am. Because remember we went to Ricketts and Moore. Thanks for having me back at Ricketts and Moore. Yeah, that's been lifted. I've learnt my lesson. Have you though? I have. For sure. I'd still tailor.

You're allowed back in, but I'd have security tailoring it. They've actually got a picture of you up in the Westfield Ricketts and Security Office. They did, but I like to think that's gone now. No, it's still there. They've got a retro section. Laminated. Yeah. We'd like to know this morning,

you can text 9696. Oh, I'm told the phones are working. The phone lines are working. Unless we have 5,000 people trying to participate in this phone-in topic. We want to know when you would have, you know, done something to mean

somebody ushered the sentence, you little shit. So when were you a little shit? What did you get up to? You little shit. Like, what did you do when you were a kid? Did you ride off a car? Did you steal something?

And maybe, you know what, maybe you've turned out all right now. I like to think you've got to find your limits, don't you, when you're a kid? Yeah. You've got to break the law to kind of, what, realise that you've got to be good. Well, you don't need to break the law, but you could have, like, really annoyed somebody along the way just to see, you know, how far you can push these things. Test the waters.

Okay, so I'll wait 100 dials at him. You can text him 9696. When were you a little shit? You little shit. We're talking about when you were young and you might have done something that resulted in someone going, oh, you little shit. Being very angry.

11-year-old rode off a Volkswagen Golf and donated his parents' car, flipping it. That's the impressive part. Yeah, I don't know if I could flip it if I tried. Lucky you got out of that. I've only rolled one car in my life. It was in a paddock and I was going around and I hit a lump and it rolled it over. But I've always found it very hard to get a car to roll.

Not that I've gone out and tried heaps, but enough. Yeah, right. Even flipped it on the street. So we want to know when someone may have uttered the phrase, you little shit. Some text messages. I want to start with this one because this is super heartwarming. I stole $6 from my mum's friend to buy my mum a birthday cake.

Mum's friend was, where's my money? Mum was like, where did you get the money for this cake? In my defence, we're dirt poor and homeless. I know. How could you be? Someone just wants to give their mum a nice cake. Now I'm a teacher, they said. And this one.

So when I was young, I got down for shoplifting. I set fire to a garage with cars in it. Organised a group of friends to run away from home because we didn't like our teacher and didn't want to go to school. Couldn't be found for over 24 hours. A helicopter search was involved. When I left school, I am now a police officer. Oh, what?

What a turn of events. Yeah. I'm imagining they left all of that out in the police officer. Oh, what? What a turn of events. I'm imagining they left all of that out in the police interview. You wouldn't go too hard in with them. So have you ever done any light arson? No. Heavy arson?

What? What's the difference? No, it's fine. What do you mean? Naomi, when were you a little shit? So I wasn't 11, but I was 13. Okay. And it was like the weekend and I was at boarding school at the time and then it was time to go back to school.

And I didn't want to go, so I took my dad's bank card and I brought me a bus ticket to Wellington to see my boyfriend. Oh, you little shit. Wow. And how long did it take him to know that you'd used his card? Not that long because then the police and stuff turned up at the bus stop. Oh, my God. Wait a minute.

Wait. So your dad noticed soon enough that he knew what was up and he called the police? Well, because we lived like an hour away from Napier at that time. So he wasn't going to get there before the bus comes. So I'm assuming that he just rang the police to like get me and his card

before I got it. Wow. That's amazing. So I didn't write off a car or anything, but I did do naughty things. Just a little bit of light bank fraud,

but it's Dad's car, so technically it's not fraud, right? No. Family fraud. Thanks for calling Naomi. He didn't hate me for it, he still loves me, so that was fine. Oh, good, good. Logan, when did someone say, oh, you little shit? So, at Intermediate,

in Year 8, I had a real dick teacher. Okay. And he would just, after a wee while, start calling out my parents over the stupidest stuff. Okay. And I wasn't an angel, but I wasn't a little shit shit. Yeah. And then my parents had had a divorce that year. So I went to the school office and said that we no longer live at the address.

Yeah. And here's the updated contact details for all my parents. Okay. All their email addresses and cell phone numbers and stuff got changed to random ones. And so my parents never got a call from that point onwards. And then a couple of years later, my sister got enrolled in the intermediate and my mom was a little bit confused as to why all the details had been changed. They didn't find out until I was about 17,

and the words out of both of their mouths, mum and dad's mouths, were, you look shit. That's genius. That's actually a great idea. Because now, if you don't turn up at school, parents get a text message, don't they? Yeah, yeah, true.

So you just give them a fake number. They've changed their cell phone numbers. And a fake email address. But you have to reply to that text. Oh, do you? Otherwise they call you. Well, yeah, but you can reply to it, can't you? Oh, right, I'm saying you put your own cell phone number.

Logan, thanks. You call anonymous. Good morning. Good morning. Now, I believe just three weeks ago, you uttered the words, all you little shit. Oh, I did. Yes, yes.

My 10-year-old decided he was going to take my car, or I think what he actually did was he reversed it out of a car park in a very busy car park, and then got a bit scared and thought, oops, I'd better put this back.

So he went to put it back, and his foot got stuck in the lanyard on my keys. And he was going to either hit a fence head on, so he decided to turn the steering wheel. And as he did, he drove straight across the car park and landed in the ditch and smashed my Audi up. An Audi. Oh, no.

I would have fled the scene. Good luck, please. That's 11-year-olds can't be caught. It was a write-off. It was a write. So you can answer my question about insurance. Did they cover that? Yes, they did.

They were amazing, actually, yes. Wow. Okay. And what did he say to you? My son? Yeah. He was a mess. He was just like, I'm sorry, mummy.

I'm sorry, mummy. I didn't mean to do it. Mummy comes out. Mummy comes out. Mummy. And that whole time I just stood there just staring at him in disbelief, like thinking little shit. This is something I would have done because you're like.

And probably other few choice words. I'm just going to back it out. I'll put it back. Like, it's not stealing. It's just like, I'm going to pass the time by going back and forth. Yeah, but you're 10. You shouldn't be freaking out. So what was it?

He took out the back end of a Nisei Navarro used at the same time. Oh, yeah. I would have said I saw someone trying to steal it. I got out and they took off with it. No one's believing that. So what was it? No, he actually simply just tried to steal it. I did out and they took off with it. No one's believing that. So what was this? No, they actually believed it. Tried to steal it.

I did that. That's still class as well. I crashed my car into a ute once and I said to Dad, bloody German tourists must have done it. And he said later on when I admitted to it, he's like, mate, I didn't believe that for a second. A second. There wasn't a second where I believed that story.

Hey, thank you for your call, Anonymous. Cheers. All right. Some right, nice. Some text messages in. When I was 11, I stole some of mum's cigarettes. She caught me and made me smoke a whole packet of cigarettes. I've been a chain smoker ever since, mum, so that's blown up in your face.

I was going to say, how did that work? Yeah. Yeah. Somebody else said, when I was young, I cut a live extension cord With scissors And was swinging it round It was sparking and blowing

And mum and dad Were trying to come at me To like grab it off me Because I was standing In front of the wall socket That I was plugged in at And I was like Back

Back Like whipping at them With a live power cord And dad's like You stupid shit Put it down This is just great contraception this whole break isn't it isn't it it really is yesterday i went around to fletcher's house

and we hung out for a bit well after our lime scooter safari and then i got a phone call from my dear mother christine and i said i'll just take this phone call and i walked into fletcher's spare room and what i found in there shocked me. This is why you don't get invited over much, because you're always having a nosy. I don't want to talk about the handcuffs and the ropes. That's not what I'm here to talk about. I don't know what that thing was on the belt, but that's not for me to judge. What?

What are you making up? I mean, all of that stuff's hidden where you can't find it. Yeah, right. I was just opening drawers. You know when you're on the phone and you're just opening drawers? No, the thing that I saw, it shocked me, was what I would effectively say was a pot plant morgue. A morgue of houseplants.

Megan, how many are on that dresser? Five or six? I've got a real issue with him. You're not allowed him anymore. I'm not allowed, I'm terrible at plants. So both my ferns are dead. I told you about two weeks ago. I thought you can't kill ferns.

Of course you can kill ferns. How? But you can't. What do you do to them? I put lots of water in, is that bad? No, they like to be moist not wet. They can't. What do you do to them? I put lots of water in. Is that bad? They like to be moist, not wet. They can't be... Don't just put heaps of water in a plant and expect it to survive. When you water a fern once a month, you don't just fill it up. And then my new peace lilies, they get all droopy,

so I put lots of water in there. They don't like direct sun. Are they in the sun a lot? I don't know these. Peace lily can't be in direct sun. And don't drown it. If it starts to drip. Just moisten.

Oh, okay. But again, Peace Lily's are pretty resilient. Yeah, no, but they're starting to go brown because I've watered them too much. Yeah, they go brown on the tips when you water them too much. But they're droopy and there's no middle ground. Oh, it's so hard. Just a little bit every day. Your parents are some of the most green. Your mother's roses are gorgeous.

To die for. Your father's vegetable garden. I'm envious of it every time I see it I know you are you are how did this happen I don't know so what I established

is the ICU ward in the spare room where all the plants that are not completely dead is it sunny in there yep yeah that's terrible

oh and it's quite like terrible for your ferns do they need a lot of air they need humidity and they like the other fern was. Do they need a lot of air around them? They need humidity. The other fern was in the hallway and it was not sunny at all. Yeah, but they like to be moist and humid.

I told you to get a sprayer and spritz it. You're not allowed anymore. Do you know what I've worked out? It's cheaper for my mental health and just general time spent just to buy new ones at Bunnings or Mitre 10 each time. But then... Once a month. Because when did you last get new ones?

Oh, a month ago. No, it doesn't feel like that long ago that you were Instagramming me your plant purchases. Oh, it would have been in January. You're just like, you're like one or the other. It goes bone dry, so you give it a litre of water. The plants don't know what to do with themselves. Oh yeah, it's bad. What do you do because you get home from work, you go to

the gym, then there's this big shadowy period of your life and we're not sure how you fill it. And that's fine. I perhaps don't need it. We always wonder how. Do you just sit on your couch and you look around and you be like well that's dying, I'll deal with that later. Yeah. You of anybody here have this time to like sit down with the plants

and be like exactly how much, Google how much it needs. I water them too much. You love it too much. But then they look like they need water. So I don't know what to do. No, you need those. This is what you need. What?

You need those things you stick in the pot plant with it. And it tells you. No, no, it tells you when it needs. It's like a moistness scale. Okay. You stick it in. But is that cute, or is it a big thermometer sticking out of your plants?

Well, it's a biggish. They're not tiny, but it'll let you know when it needs watering. Well, they want about 20 thermometers. It'll tell you the soil moisture, and then you'll know from Googling what the plant needs, and then you can top it up and not go too hard out. Right.

You know those tags that are in plants when you get them? You can't throw those away. They tell you how to look after it. I'm not leaving that stuck in my poplar. Well, google it then. Remember what it's called and when it goes brown, just give it a google. I don't know what it's called, apart from that figgle leaf one. Fiddle.

And that was one of my favourite plants and all. I just touched a leaf and it fell off and I was like, oh, that was loose. And then I touched the other one and that fell off. Did you kill the fiddle leaf? There's only one hanging on. I don't want to touch it because it'll probably fall off. My fiddle leaf's going from strength to strength.

No, but I've got that one in my bedroom's going real good. Is that going well? But I don't touch that. They don't like direct light either. It looks all right, but it needs counselling. You know when your friend looks healthy, but they smoke ciggies and eat takeaways, and you're like, it's only a matter of time.

Okay, well, fine. We are here now to bear witness to a story of street justice. Street, right. Enforcement of the law by intern Anya, who yesterday, by the way, we've got no idea what the story is. We've just been told that you were involved in a street brawl and that it was an act of heroism. Yeah, that's exactly what happened.

Heroism. Heroism. Gosh, yes. Heroinism, not that. Heroicism. Heroinism would be a heroine, which is female hero. Yeah. Heroism. Heroism.

Heroism. I'm all of the above. I mean, we've given you a good spot here on the show, so this better have been a good, you know. Yeah, this is stressful. So, five o'clock yesterday. Yeah. Early evening.

Decided it was time for an ice cream. Is this pre-dinner ice cream? This is. Treat yourself. You can't do a pre-dinner ice cream. You'll ruin your dinner. Yeah. Well, guys, some people turn to alcohol in times of stress.

I turn to ice cream. Fair enough. So I was toddling down the road, probably like a 10-minute drive. Wait, wait, wait. When you say toddling, that makes it sound like you're walking. Oh, no, no, no. You're driving. I was driving.

Yeah. And went to a beautiful suburb of Browns Bay. Oh, yes. Yes. Lovely. When you pull in, it says, welcome to South Africa. Yeah, you see all my relatives there. And saw a kind of kerfuffle out the corner of my eye.

I know, I know. You can imagine my surprise. You felt like you were Justin Joburg. And there was a man, I would say late 30s, riding a bicycle, looking very scruffy. No helmet, I'll add. So that was the first issue in my eyes was a real lack of regard for safety. And then there was this other guy who was younger, probably like 20. And he was just going at this guy on the bike, just starts pummeling

to the ground. The guy on the bike then starts kicking him, and it was all goes. It's a full-on fight. It's a full-on fight. Then, the guy on the bike starts to cycle away. Yeah. In the midst of the chaos of the pummeling and the hitting. Yeah, he must have done one big old punch,

and then he was like, that's me, I'm out. So, naturally, I was like, scoot in the Mazda Demio. And the other left met him around the block, around the other side. And by this point, the younger guy had caught up to him, starts pummeling him again in the middle of the street.

And then a bystander comes in and tries to break it up. Now he's getting punched in the crossfire. He was an innocent bystander. What are you doing getting involved in this? I would be watching from a distance. I was like, I have to get in there but I'm not great with my fists or breaking things up. Also, how embarrassing is it

when you think you can make a getaway on a bike and someone runs you down? You're on a bike, you're in a vehicle and you can't outspeed the guy on foot. But he's been pummeled, he might be sporting an injury. There's three people now. Yeah, three people tussling in the street. Okay. So I career towards them

in the Demio and then slam the horn on and then they think they're about to get hit by a car so they run out of the way and then the guy on the bike got away and I broke up a street fight

with your Demio. Oh, with your Demio. Yeah, with the power of surprise. What colour is your Demio? It's black. It is like the Batmobile. Yeah. I was like Vin Diesel. Yeah, with the power of surprise. What colour is your Demio? It's black, like a knight. It is like the Batmobile. Yeah. I was like Vin Diesel.

The Browns by Batmobile. Yeah. That's so cute. Did you get any audio clues? Yeah, were they yelling like what they did? Well, you didn't think I just left the scene, did you? Oh, here we go. Good, good.

I didn't imagine so. Yeah, so then this lady came out and she was such a boss babe. She was probably like early 30s and she was just having it at this young kid. She was like, this is unacceptable. Which one's the young kid? The non-bicycle, the guy that ran down the guy on the bicycle. The guy on foot, yeah. And the initial scuffle.

Super fast. And then it turns out that this guy on the bike is the local dealer of naughty things. Vibrators? Yes, adult fun toys. He delivered those on a bike? Yeah. Sandy? He's a drug dealer. Yeah, and he knew someone who was partaking in the drugs and was not

happy about it. So there was a scuffle. It was a vigilante scuffle. What, so the 20 year old, the younger guy is like he's trying to clean up the streets. Yeah. He's trying to get rid of, so why is the boss babe angry at the young guy

for trying to clean up the streets? Or it was a miscommunication. She was like, what's happening? So once we'd ironed that out, then I celebrated. He's like, that's a drug dealer. So wait,

you helped the drug dealer get away. Well, yeah, but I stopped to fight me. Yeah, but the drug dealer's out there still dealing drugs to children. You should have ran him over. I don't know about that. Next time you come across a scuffle, just hedge your bets and run someone over.

Pick one. And then they're like, you ran over the not the drug dealer. You're like, damn it. Can we just for a moment, though, give props to the drug dealer for being eco-friendly in his delivery? Yes. Because he could be running A petrol guzzling van Dropping off tinnies Yeah you're right

He's got one up on me in the Demio there You're the one actually wasting fuel I'm the criminal You are you're an eco terrorist Especially with all your skirt And then in the Demio the tyres are going up Yeah you're damn right So you're the bad guy now.

If you've seen Anya drive, I just can't imagine her doing like a wee peely. Scrooge! Scrooge, scrooge. She drives like a man. If you're a Browns Bay drug dealer, I'd watch your back. Yeah. Because you've got his number and know what he looks like.

She's patrolling the streets. Yeah, well, I don't have his number because there's no plates on a bike, which is the real issue. What kind of bike was it? I don't know. Two wheels? No helmet?

You're the worst Batman ever. Fletch, Vaughn and Megan. The podcast. Ariana Grande, thank you next on ZM. Fletch, Vaughn and Megan. And overnight, she has become the second artist ever to have numbers one, two, and three in the Billboard 100 charts in America.

The only other artist to do that, the Beatles. That's insane. So that's how long that would have gone. And they would have done it ages ago. They would have done it a long time ago. She's got 12 songs in the Billboard Top 100 because she was, I guess her fans and her albums came out. Her fans have been campaigning to get her one, two, three.

She has 12 songs in the top 100. Drake holds the record for most songs, 21. In the top 100? Yeah. He had a fifth. Well, yeah, he had his previous album then released a new album. And so he's got the record. So, I mean, if Ariana Grande releases another album

in a couple of months, she could probably do that. What are her top three songs? In what order? Rings, Break Up With Your Girlfriend, I'm Bored, and Thank You, Next.

Right. One, two, and three. Goodness me. Indie, our oldest daughter, had a loose tooth yesterday. She's had it for a little while. And it was...

You know when you're a kid and it's really loose and you like, but you don't want anybody to pull it. Oh, yeah. I remember being a kid and you'd have a wobbly tooth

and it's the craziest thing. Yeah, and you could push it right forward and then you could pull it right back in and your parents would be like, just pull it out

and you were like, no. Because you're convinced it's going to hurt. Yeah. Didn't you shoot one of hers out with a bow and arrow or a doll?

A Nerf gun in the dog pulled one out. Yeah. She't you shoot one of hers out with a bow and arrow? Or a dog? A Nerf gun in the dog, pulled one out. Yeah. She just pulled one out of her mouth one day. She was like, look, gong. I'm like, ah, freaked out about it. Yeah. But yesterday when I went and picked her up from school, she came out and she was like, I got you a present for your birthday.

I was like, that's not my birthday until tomorrow. And she had this little pink folded piece of paper. Yeah. I was like, what's in there? And then she smiled and I could see her tooth was gone. Yeah. After ages of moving, I'm like, just let me pull it out. I've got to get some less scary looking pliers.

So I've got these needle nose pliers, but the handles are all frayed on them and they look a little bit rusty. I'll get some pink ones. That'd be a great job. But see, I need some friendlier looking pliers for teeth extractions. It's not going to be just cool to have a video of you pulling out a tooth with a plier. Yeah. And I said, what happened? And she said, oh, my teacher wanted to look at it.

So I showed her and she just reached in and pulled it out. Brilliant. Job done. Yeah. I was like. Are they allowed to do that? What? I was like, what?

Did it hurt? And she's like, no, not at all. I didn't even know it had come out until she was holding it in front of me. Right. She was wiggling it. But she let the teacher do it, not you. Well, it had come out until she was holding it in front of me I just thought she was wiggling it but she let the teacher do it not you well no because I'm always like

come here let me have a look and she knows I'm going to pull it out but this is a new teacher she's only had this teacher for a few weeks so there's a lot of trust there right

she can trust the teacher and the teacher apparently was like oh you guys look and just pulled it right out which I guess like if you're a teacher of six and seven year olds

yeah it must be so annoying to look down onto the mat and just see them all being like wiggling their teeth right now. Which I guess like if you're a teacher of six and seven year olds Yeah. It must be so annoying to look down onto the mat and just see them all being like wiggling their teeth. Because all of them must have a wiggly tooth

you know. Yeah. At the same time because you lose all your teeth only over a few years. So yeah she's like oh she just pulled it out. I was like

you alright with that? She's like yeah nah it didn't hurt it was all good I didn't even know she pulled it out. I was like savage but good.

Good to see there's still a little bit of 1980s teacher left in some teachers. Yeah. I was like, did she wrap you across the knuckles with a wooden ruler? No, no, she didn't do that, Dad. That's child abuse. I was like, yes, well, it wasn't. Well, no. Birthday wishes continue next for Vaughn.

Because, Producer James, if you could come in and just pull up up the curtain here Vaughan's surprise is right outside the window all right curtain is going up you can see Kate and Justin they're from F45 Auckland CBD Justin is the head trainer I don't have to do it for 45 minutes, right? You are going to be taking part in six stations, 45 seconds on, 15 seconds off,

and you're going up against head trainer Justin. But I don't... What's the competition? Why do I need to go up against Justin? You love... You're always going on

about E45. Don't knock it until you try it, sweetheart. So today you're trying it. Okay, champ. And you've got to tell everybody that you're it, sweetheart. So today you're trying it. Okay, champ. And you've got to tell everybody that you're doing this

on Instagram. No, I don't. Because how will people know that you've done F45? I'm about to disprove the urban legend that you

can't do F45 without Instagramming about it. You might love it. I don't think I will. I had this worked out because last night Caitlin's like,

hey everybody, in the group chat. Hi, everybody. Can everyone just bring their act of wear tomorrow? Gary's doing a secret sound video. I knew about your surprise and I was like, oh, man, we have to bring our act. And Caitlin's like, no, I'm just telling Vaughn.

I was like, oh, so you fooled me and not Vaughn. Probably just shows her the most gullible on the show, to be honest But my How I'll hide this video because there's some stains on those pants I did weed eating in them See you've got a weed eater

I need a weed eater now too Okay we'll go get changed Alright and then next as Vaughn's present F45 I've only got one pair of undies though I mean it's sweaty undies

I have to wear sweaty undies for the rest of the day Just free undies for the rest of the day. Just freeball it for the rest of the day. It's your birthday. Should I freeball F45? No. Because that's what the F stands for. No, absolutely not.

Or should I freeball the rest of the day? They've come in to do this for free. You don't need to show them your balls. No, these are long shorts. If my balls hang at the bottom of that. You've got a problem. Well, you've got it. You're a year older.

I am getting older. All right. FBM. And today is Vaughn's birthday. So we got him a present, didn't we, Megan? We did. We're actually, we can see you through the window, Fletch. We have set up an F45 makeshift gym outside.

And today, Vaughn is going to be participating and it's only six stations but this is the head trainer Justin from F45 Auckland CBD so I think he's going to put you through your paces. You're all quiet now Vaughan. Well I don't like it when my shit talking comes back to bite me in the arse. Because you're always on F45, you're always posting on Instagram. You can't even look at them. No, I know. Everybody shook their hands. I met them. God, I've almost fallen over a kettlebell. Shit.

The stations that worry me are the stations with nothing. Because that means one of them's a burpee station and I hate them. They're the bloody worst. Is one of them a burpee station? Yes. Yes. Did you find out what F means? What does F mean?

Functional. Functional, yes. Functional, yep, functional. Right, okay. And ask if there's a rule about posting on Instagram. Is there some sort of discount if people post on Instagram after F45? If they can make it through a session, then I'm sure we can sort something out.

Right, okay. Right, okay. They can make it through. They post the pic. Justin, just before we start and you tell us what we're going to do, how hard have you made this today? Very hard. Because you're head trainer.

There's only six stations. Would you be puffed at the end of this? Yeah, I'm going to be. Are you doing it with? Are we doing it together? Yeah, it's a challenge. It's a challenge. That's the thing about the F45.

The F stands for family, man. You've got the guns out, Vaughan. Well, I got handed a... I got given an F45 sleeveless tee. I don't wear sleeveless tees. It suits you. You almost did that with a straight face. That was really, really mean.

You're welcome. Happy birthday. Okay. Okay. Should we do this then? All right. Okay. Let's do this.

It's a little bit too close. When you say 45, is it 45 seconds? So it's 45 seconds on, 15 seconds off, and it's the whole session for 45 minutes. So it's 45 all round. There you go. Oh, God. Okay. So lots of 45s.

Right. So I think you guys... Okay, but we're only doing six. No, yeah, we're only doing six. And I'll probably just tap into a song if I get bored. Okay. Because I'll judge how it's going. Okay.

Yeah, that's good. That's good. Okay. Okay. So I think, yeah, we'll just kick it off and I can explain. Ross Boss is here to join me. He's very fit. Come on, Ross.

I can take you through exactly what each station is as he's doing it. Okay. Okay. That sounds great. We don't even have any music for you. Oh, we do have music. Don't. Okay. Should I take the headphones out or are these going to affect my ability to? we don't even have any music for you oh we do have music don't okay should i take the headphones out of these going to affect my ability i don't know i've found i've found a

great gym track okay look at this yep the rude sandstorm yep okay kate i think we're ready to kick it off kate's on timer today station one one. We have lateral shoot through. Oh, this looks like a bear claw, Megan. Making sure both hands are on the ground. Getting that hip to grab the bar. It's called a lateral shoot through. Yeah. Oh, okay.

Basically, you have to put hands on the ground and switch your legs over or something. I don't even know if my hips do that anymore. Okay, we're going to find out. All right, next one is a box jump down to a burpee. Oh, God. No, I'm tired. I'm tired. A box jump and a burpee.

Yeah. So when Justin jumps up on the box, you're going to be doing your burpee. When he goes down to his burpee, you're... We'll crash. We'll crash. I'll crash into him. And I will come off second best. It's like a rusty old van running into a truck. I'll crash into him. And I will come off second best.

It's like a rusty old van running into a truck. Three, you've got kettlebell swings. So with this one, just making sure you're hinging from the hips. Just a casual 16 kg kettlebell. Generally keep the kettlebell a little bit further away from my own kettlebells. Justin's rubbing, almost rubbing his against the kettlebell. I go lower. Maybe that's the trick. I don't want to accidentally miss. Yeah. Right.

Take out the old bell. You've already had a couple of kids though, so. Station number four. Alright, station number four. We've got some sweet tuck jumps. So making sure you're getting your knees up nice and high. Shit, Justin jumps high. So high. It's real high. That's the height I

need to be going. It's like a metre and a half high. In station 5A, we've got push-up and clap. So you guys are going to be partners with this one, so you again have to keep up with me to make sure. So it's what you see. I'll meet you every second clap. When people do push-ups and then they're in front of each other and they do like a high five.

Right. Good times. This one here, station 6, we have a sandbag clean. So this one here just grabbing those front handles there yep up and over that's right down to the ground. You look so dangerous. Great technique I've got great technique for this all in the wrist. Okay. Alright shall we kick it off then? Awesome wait this is the breakdown. Shall we kick it off then?

Okay. Do we need a countdown? Three, two, one. Go! Okay, so at the moment, Justin's going twice or three times the speed of Warn and these swing things. Why should I be feeling this, Justin? I'm feeling it. You can

see Vaughan attempting to do F45 on our Instagram. F-E-M-Z-M and we'll come back next and see how he did. As Vaughan finishes his

F45 birthday present, Megan, he's on his last set now. He's jumping in the air. He's actually started off jumping really high, but now he's faltering. Justin, stop! How long left? Oh, we're done.

How was it, Vaughan? It was very tiring. You only did six of them. Do you want me to start? All right. Coming back into the studio. Cheers, thank you. Excellent.

You all right, mate? Yeah. Now, do you have anything to say? Because you always bag an Audi 45. And you look great in the singlet. You look great in the singlet. Thanks. I knew it was going to be hard.

I didn't, it was never under any impression it was easy. But. What about the camaraderie? There's lots of like. Yeah. You know, like hand clapping and like high-fiving. It felt a lot like that. There was a lot of.

Yeah, right. Because I would just go to the gym by myself. Yeah. And every now and then I'd be like. Pat on the shoulder. Good work, mate. Yeah. Let's hit the showers.

I said that to myself. Well, you'll be pleased to know they've got some vouchers for her, some free passes for you as well. That is great. So thank you to the team from F45 for coming in as well. But, of course, we are your friends, so we thought we'd actually give you a physical gift. An actual present.

Yeah. I'd like to open this. Guys, oh, the gifts just keep coming. Do I read the card first? Just open it, I think. Just open the present. Just open it. Okay. I don't want to give anything away. It's a lovely wooden box. I'd call that a bamboo box, wouldn't you?

Because I care about you, you know? That was a joke. Guys. wow. You've got me crystals. This is so thoughtful. Are these come charged? Because it was a full moon last night. Now, we've got you a little card there, which explains these crystals,

because we know that you do love charging your crystals. Happy birthday, Vaughan. What would a birthday be without some mystical gemstones? I've pulled together the best of the rocks for you. This is from Rock Sarah from Rock Remedy. Yeah. Obsidian. This is this black stone, which I think is very pretty.

Yeah. A stone to remove the negativity from your heart. Sarah does know you. Never really consider myself an overly negative person of the heart Oh really? Rose quartz is a pretty stone to fill it up with good feels you grumpy bastard That one's very pretty, that pink Pink's very pretty Amethyst

Oh which one's that one? Is that the purple I believe? Amethyst is purple It's sparkly That might be amethyst. Oh, which one's that one? Is that the purple, I believe? Yeah, amethyst is purple. It's sparkly. That might be amethyst. What is that for? Sodalite is the blue stone. Oh, this is sodalite.

It's a calming stone. I think I put that on my forehead. And it just calms me. The vibrations calm you. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. Clear quartz. This is small enough to keep in my pocket. That's nice. So now you can have gems wherever you go. Send, yes. Clear quartz. This is small enough to keep in my pocket. That's nice.

So now you can have gems wherever you go. Send any positive vibes your way. You need it. Mystery rock. I thought that was a lolly and I really wanted to eat it for a moment. There's a mystery rock. Okay. That looks like the one I have in the back left of my house for prosperity and wealth.

Shut up. How's that going? Look at me, I'm wealthy as. You're life rich. You are welcome. And do you know what else? Well, F45 and crystals, guys. What more could a guy who has talked endless amounts of shit on both of those topics ever need?

And do you know what the great news is? Full moon tonight. Yeah. Get those crystals out. I will. I'll charge them. It's a full moon, especially for your birthday. Thanks, guys.

No worries. No, there's no doubt in me, these are very pretty. Yeah, but they don't do anything. Like, these are decorative. Yeah. You could have it. Well, this is like you saying... Thank you, I like it.

No, no, I like it. This is like saying, thank you for this cake, but it's high in calories. Yeah, thank you Sarah from Rock Remedy. No, no, I said, I gave her her plug. Rock Remedy. Very pretty. And it is, it's very nice. She's got lovely handwriting. She's got a wax seal with some moons

on it there, which is all you need to be qualified in this. You are such a bitch. No, these are very pretty. I do agree. They're very pretty rocks. But magically, no different to a piece of gravel

that makes up the road you're driving on. If you come to work positive tomorrow, we'll know why. It'll be because of this rose quartz. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Today's fact of the day is that smallpox scars were a great CV back in the day. Okay. If you had scars from smallpox that meant to to an employer you'd already had smallpox,

so you weren't going to go and die on them. And it was like a really good thing to have. And you couldn't pass it on to your employers or fellow employees, and you weren't going to die or get sick and need a whole lot of time off work. So if you came in with smallpox and you'd survived it, obviously you'd developed an immunity. So employers really like seeing people with smallpox. Because I've still got a little chicken pox scar

because my parents were anti-vaxxers and didn't vaccinate me. Don't you do that to your parents. I'm kidding. They were lovely people. But there wasn't a chicken pox vaccine when you were a kid. No.

But there is now. Remember, I got it as an adult. Yeah, you got adult pox. I popped it because I didn't know what it was and I still got a little scar from that. Yeah, they scar up. So I'll get that if I go for a job interview. I'll get that in. Get your n job interview. I'll get that in.

Get your nipple out. Just get your top off. Get your other nipple out. Okay. And while learning about smallpox, I learned that the way of, so the guy basically, someone survived smallpox.

Yeah. And so they were like, well, you've got an immunity. You're still puffed, aren't you, from F45? Yeah, when I get really going, I've still got a little F45 residual puffiness left over. So they would take, say if you'd had smallpox and you'd survived it,

I would take a bit of blood from you and just squirt it into me. And that was like the smallpox immunity vaccination. Because you had the antibodies. Would we have to be the same blood type? Same blood type, you'd think, but it's back in the day, so they didn't really worry about it too much.

Your blood would fight the invader's blood if it wasn't the same blood type. There were some problems. But the way they got around, and this is pretty horrendous. This happened in the early 1800s. The king rounded up a whole lot of orphans, injected them with smallpox,

and the ones that were survived were shipped off to the colony to have blood taken from them and injected in other people as a smallpox vaccine. Oh my God. Wow. That's horrific.

If you were an orphan on the street, you'd be snatched up by the king's men, injected a smallpox vaccine. Oh my God. Wow. That's terrific. If you were an orphan on the street, you'd be snatched up by the king's men, injected with smallpox. You would either die from smallpox or survive, in which case then you'd be shipped off to wherever they wanted, really, and then you'd get there and a doctor would be waiting and he'd start taking blood from you

and injecting other people with it. That's crazy. They were like a walking human vaccine kit. Oh my God. Right. Yeah. So today's fact of the day is if you had smallpox scars in the 18th century, it was bloody good to have on your LinkedIn.

Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. F.E.M. Z.E.M. I don't want to go on about it, but it's my birthday today. Whoa, a lot of the show's been dedicated to it. I'm starting to think you are going on about it. So last night we were sitting at the dinner table. Yeah. Just having dinner. Having our family catch up.

Highlights of the day. If anyone's got any lowlights, they can share them, but we always try to turn them into a positive. Yeah. So what was your favourite part of the day? What was your highlight yesterday? What was your highlight yesterday? What was my highlight

yesterday? Are we ever the highlight? Working with us. Well, I know, I think yesterday one of my highlights was zipping around on the lime scooters.

That was my favourite. That's not fair because I wasn't invited. I could have been part of that highlight. You could have been part of that. So, yeah,

zipping around. Yep. With my best friend Fletch on my scooter. Scoot, scoot. Me, me, me, me, me, me, me, zipping around. Yep. Um. With my best friend Fletch on my scooter. Skirt, skirt. Me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me. Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding. Bing, bling.

Or what is that noise it makes when you unlock it? Bing, bling. Yep, kind of. Anyway, we'll talk about favourites and everything. And Shade said, what do you want for your birthday? And I could tell by the look on her face that she's already got something sorted out, even though we said no presents. Okay.

But then I broke the presents thing because her birthday is five days before mine. So that gives her fair warning that she should break the present thing for me too. Okay. You say it, you don't mean it. So, and I said, oh, look, look, to be totally honest, nothing. I don't want anything. And then I was saying how I was talking to my mum. And my mum said to me, do you want this bottle of whiskey we've got here?

Yeah. And I said, oh, yeah, that sounds fine. They're like, that'll be great for a birthday. That's all, that's fine. And she started describing it and she was describing bourbon and I'm not really a bourbon guy. Jim Beam, wasn't I?

Yeah, it was a big thing of Jim Beam. I don't know why dad got one of those big, it's got a handle. Oh, those are big daddies. Yeah, but he doesn't even drink bourbon. So I don't know if he's trying to just be cool in front of his friends. But the ones with the handle, sometimes you see them and you're like,

that would be the handle. To be fair, that is social currency in Morrinsville. It really is. Like a bottle of Jim Beam with a handle. It really is. He might be planning a political power play. Okay, and if you've got a big bottle of bourbon, that's great for rigging an election.

So, and we worked out it was bourbon, and I said, oh, no, I don't drink bourbon. Mum said, oh, well, I'll find you a bottle of whiskey. I said, fine. And then August looked at me, and she said, we've already got you a bottle of whiskey. We went to the whiskey shop today. And Shardie's like, no, we didn't. And August

looked at her, and she was like, ah, yes, we did. There was bottles everywhere. And I was like, oh, nah, you didn't. And Indy's like, August, that was a secret. And August is like, oh. And Shari's like, no, we didn't. We didn't. And August looked at me and was like, we did not go to a store that sold anything.

I was like, oh, whiskey. And she's like, anything. It didn't sell anything. So I said, you went into like, anything. It didn't sell anything. So I said, you went into a store, but it didn't sell anything. Yes. She gets real upset when she spoils a surprise. I know, and that's why I remember she spoiled a secret for me once years ago, but she can still remember doing it.

She got really upset about ruining the surprise. I remember that video. Yeah, there was a video of it. She cried on the steps. Yeah, because I thought she had her face painted because they'd had face painting at school and I arrived home, so I was videoing, wanting to see the face paint, but then she ruined a video of it. She cried on the steps. Yeah, because I thought she had her face painted because they'd had face painting at school and I arrived home, so I was videoing, wanting to see the face paint,

but then she ruined a surprise for me, so just caught my child's heart breaking up video. And it's gold. Yeah, so she ruined a surprise. But no heartbreak yesterday? No, no, no, because we all pretended to play dumb and she was like, right, tricked him. Tricked him with the story about the shop that sold nothing.

But in her defence, that could have just been an empty shop for lease. Yeah, I don't know why they were going in there. Unless they're looking to set up a shop for me

for my birthday. Maybe they bought me a home. It could be the sequel with what they're going to live in a shop. I'm going to live in the shop. Dad, it's your birthday.

We want you to move out into the shop. We're going to be in the shop. Dad, it's your birthday. We want you to move out into the shop. We're going to be living in a house with a big glass window up front. Correct, yes. You can do what you want with it.

The lease is for three years. See you later. Fletch. Vaughan. And Megan. The podcast. Last night, I saw it pop up on Facebook

that somebody had a Facebook profile picture that said, I am Hope. And I was like, oh, my God. But then underneath it, it said Kiwi Bank, the New Zealander of the Year, hashtag gumbootupNZ. And so I was like, okay, I'm interested in it because I know Mike King won

the Kiwi of the Year, New Zealander of the Year. Yeah, he did. And what he's doing for mental health across the board can only be commended. Oh, yeah. He's done amazing work. If you'd told me in the year 2000 that Mike King

would win the New Zealander of the Year in 2018-19, I'd say, the comedian guy. But now, you know,

he's turned it around and he's kind of opened up about his struggles with it and he's trying to make it better for everybody, which you can't fault him on. Getting into schools,

getting guys to talk about it. Yeah. It's just incredible work you can't fault him on. Getting into schools, getting guys to talk about it. Yeah. It's just incredible work. We need more of it. So he won New Zealander of the Year, and that's when I clicked on it, and it said that due to his interest and the reason he won being mental health

and the improving of it in New Zealand, for every person that puts this on their profile picture, Kiwi Bank will donate $1 to Gumboot Up NZ. I saw, when I clicked on this, there's not a limit. Because everyone on my Facebook is doing this, which is great.

Very good. But have they set a limit or are they just going to keep going? I don't know. But you might be thinking, because that's when something happens and it's something terrible and people think changing their profile picture to the French flag is going to somehow

stop people from committing acts of terrorism and stuff I'm all a bit like man people are just jumping on the bandwagon here to make themselves to make this a bit more

about themselves right that's not why people do it I know but that's my wildly cynical take on it it's just literally showing a bit of support a bit of support

some sympathy yeah sure but you can't argue that some people you feel that you know you see some people change it you're like Just literally showing a bit of support. A bit of support. Some sympathy. Yeah. Yeah, sure. But you can't argue that some people you feel that you know. You see some people changing, you're like, yeah, okay. So when I saw this, I was like, I read about it and I was like, well, like, I'm on board with that. Yeah, because you didn't have to do. I don't, yeah, no, I don't put a filter on the old profile picture

for things that happen. Yeah. But I read it and I was like what's anybody got to lose like what's the what's the possible bad outcome from doing this because this is something that definitely needs to be continued to be addressed in new zealand it has been for the last couple of years we started talking about it more but heck there's always more uh more room to talk about this sort of thing and this this fund basically will offer counselling to young New Zealanders for free. And I saw somebody say that it's a shame

that it's taken a Kiwi Bank marketing campaign to do this. Yeah. To get free counselling for young people. But shit, if that's what it takes. Yeah. What have you got to lose by doing it? I'm a bit worried though, because I just Googled how many New Zealanders are on Facebook.

There's 2.9 million. So that was in 2017. So if 2.9 million, 3 million Kiwis change their Facebook profile picture, are Kiwi Bank not going to be able to afford that? Banks, oh, they're having a tough time, Megan. Yeah, banks. Banks are always like, help us, we're poor. So you might be wondering how they track how many people are using it. Yeah, I

wondered. When you change it, it's effectively an in Facebook app and KiwiBank, because Kath asked on KiwiBank's how do we know how many people use the frame? How do we know if the dollar is actually being donated? Well, KiwiBank said there's an analytical tool to track

how many people have updated their profile pictures. It's calculated at the end of the campaign and the money will be donated. It's like, imagine if they didn't. Imagine if Mike King's like, I only got five bucks. I'm pretty sure more than five people changed it. And Kath's like, I told you.

I told you. And we're not being told to say this. No, we're not being told to talk about this at all. In fact, if we were told to talk about it, we'd be more reluctant to talk about it, wouldn't we? That's the way our horrible, cynical people work. Because I've never seen you

change your profile picture to anything like that. And yesterday when I saw it, it had a Kiwi Bank on it. I was like, you're doing a Kiwi Bank thing. I read up. I was like,

I read about it. It's a good charity. It's all good. And I was like, I'm fully on board with supporting everything like that. If you haven't done it, there's a good chance

that everyone else in your feed already has. Yeah, let's see if we can bankrupt New Zealand's only bank. Oh no, TSB. We'll all see if we can bankrupt them as well. They should start doing it. Those Australian banks aren't doing much. Oh,

shots fired in the financial sector. ZDM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. For more, check out ZDM online. We've been doing it for the weekend. ZDM.