ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Megan Podcast - February 21 2019

Episode Date: February 20, 2019

Vaughan's Dad has magic powers, Community Notices and when did you hook up with someone you shouldn't have?See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Welcome one, welcome all to the Fletch, Vaughan and Megan podcast brought to you by Spark. Get four gigs of bonus data on Spark's $49 prepaid value pack. Now, on with the podcast. It's on. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. Thanks, Anya. Good morning. Welcome to the show. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. Wow, some 10 capsule gondolas in Queenstown up to the luge. Yeah.

Fancy. Because what are they at the moment? Four or six? Six. Six tops. Pushing it, yeah. Yeah, but you're pushing it with six. Huh, okay.

Like five and leave your big mate behind. Right, catch the next one. You get the next one. But you know how it goes around and it doesn't stop? Yeah. And you're like, okay, get in. It's not a major rush, but you don't want to muck around. What about loading 10 people and you're like, go, go, go, go, go?

Nah, they'll just make it a little bit slower at the bottom because that's all to do with it comes off the original thing right and goes onto a slower. Yeah. Right. But you're right, it's a lot of pressure. Whenever I hear gondolas in Queensland, I get excited about one up to the ski fields. Yeah. Right. But you're right, it's a lot of pressure. Whenever I hear gondolas in Queensland, I get excited about one up to the ski fields.

Yeah. But no, not yet. Not yet. It's a bit beautiful sometimes to just whack a gondola on, isn't it? It is, yeah. But at the same time, you are fanging up there in a rental car. Yeah, that's true. Making a real mess of things.

All right, you lot, listen up. It's story time. Story time. I've got three news headlines. Vaughan and Megan pick one of the following three news headlines and then we'll delve into that story. Headline one, unscheduled kindergarten show and tell. Headline two, dental work, hey now.

Dental work now, pay later. And headline three, pooch patches, potty mouth president. Oh, there's a lot of P's there. Pooch patches, potty mouth president. Pooch patches. I think I know the dentist one. There's, because I heard

about a story about a dentist that was doing dental work on people for free in exchange for them running drugs for him. Yeah. Oh, okay. Not an Instagram post. No. Right.

Like, look at my new smile. Yeah. Yeah. Wow. Yeah. So, is that- Pooch Patches. That was the situation with that dental one, right?

Yeah, it was. Yeah, you nailed that one. Pooch Patches president. Pottymouth was. You nailed that one. Pooch, Patches, President, Potty Mouth President. You want that one? Yeah. What are the unscheduled kindergarten show and tell?

Is that an AFT? No. Drugs, guns. Gun. Yeah, okay. Right. Did you hear about that guy, just speaking of preschoolers

and guns, at his kid's third birthday party he was showing everyone his gun in Texas. And he was spinning it on his finger and he pulled the trigger and shot himself in the leg. Oh my god. America. You can't take your guns.

Okay, so we'll lock in Pooch Patch's potty mouth president. So backstory, Pooch Patch's I think you had one of these for your dog once. Do you mean the, on the ground? Like fake grass or like a big sanitary pad. Oh, yeah, you have potty training pads.

Yeah. Potty pads. Yeah. So that if you don't want your dog to go outside if it's winter or whatever, or you can't live in an apartment. Or you're training them to go when you say they can. They can go on these little patches. Well, a woman had a complaint about her pooch patch.

So she reached out to pooch patch and she was not happy with the response. And it's at this time that I will hand over to a news report in all its incredible, amazing, funny glory. Okay. Last week on Thursday the 14th, I ordered a product. And then on Saturday, I realized that I did not need the product anymore. Vanessa Gluh talking about the Pooch Patch from a company with the same name. The product was featured on our morning show a while back. The Pooch Patch is great because it's a natural, organic way to get your dog to go and do their business.

But when Vanessa cancelled her order and couldn't get a refund, she expressed her views online. I really just wish that he would accept a simple bad review. That bad review didn't go over well. Hooch Patch's president by email made some unusual remarks. He emailed me to tell me that he looked at photos of me online and he thinks that I'm chubby. In one email, the company tells her, looking a little chubs in that profile photo. You don't talk to people or comment on their body or body shame them.

She told the company she planned to report the replies to a government consumer agency. The response from Pooch Patch, ooh, so scared, chubby wubby. I reported you to Jenny Craig, a well-known weight loss program. And on it went. Saying that I needed to go to Jenny Craig, and he referred to me as Fatty McFatFat. And I did post it on my social media and because of that, people in my following ended up leaving more bad reviews. Vanessa got a threatening legal letter warning her about bad reviews, quoting Ontario law, signed by an associate lawyer named Alyssa Steiner. In my research, I cannot find any record of the lawyer that signed this letter.

That's because no lawyer with that name is licensed to practice law in Ontario. Global News contacted Pooch Patch several times. Its first response read, ha ha ha ha ha, I'm dying. This is gold, pure gold. Several later emails from the company blamed their responses on others we use an external customer service company based in india said the manager claiming they're appalled by the way a client was treated as for those comments about vanessa's weight it's completely inappropriate even for a person to say that to me let alone a ceo of the business oh my god

yeah wow i think the best thing about the whole thing is is how stone called the um report of CEO of a business. Oh my god. Yeah, wow. I think the best thing about that whole thing is how Stone Cold, the reporter voiceover guy is. Chubby wubby wubby. Really scared. Chubby wubby wubby. Oh my god. So she's like, I don't need this anymore.

Yeah, basically. And they're like, oh, we're not refunding it. So she leaves a bad review and they start calling her fat. That's nuts. On her profile picture. I know. That is nuts. Rough.

This is the time of the day where, you know, it's early in the morning. Yes. And often if we are going to talk about something of a sexual nature, we'll talk about it now. Because it's early. Before kids are awake. It's before, like, If we talk about it at eight People are like

My bloody kids are in the car Now I'm going to have to explain What kissing is That's a very low end That would be a very low end complaint And I would probably say I think it's about time You explained what kissing was anyway

But We behind the scenes It's affectionately become known as Dirty break Which is If we're going to talk about something Of a slightly sexual nature, duty break. So we're

saying, we're like, why are we calling it that? And we realise we call it that because of that Black Eyed Peas song. Duty break. The time. Yeah, so I found the instrumental of that song. Right. And, um, oh, have you got my laptop up? Um, I do now, yes.

Oh yeah, thanks. We can affectionately introduce you to the first official dirty break. Your timing was a little bit... Yeah, I know, it wasn't great. Dirty break. So

I just wanted to mention this. Having a housewarming for our new place this weekend, as well as kind of like a birthday thing, it's all... It's the one Smith Social event of the year that we push together and we have people and then we go back to being recluses. Hermits. But we have a hammock. Now, for a while, there's been this joke that Intern Anya

and her boyfriend son are going to two person the hammock and have good times, have adult fun times nookie in your hammock. But a nookie in the hammock.

And now that we're almost at the time where the hammock nookie is due to, you know, happen. I'm thinking, I'm trying to convince her that you can't do nookie in a hammock. They're not a... I want to see them try. It's not a nookie friendly situation. You've got to remain like...

It's because you posted a pic of your hammock the other day on your Instagram story. And I was like, all right, mate, you need to be pulled back into line. So I see it. A hammock's always been a sign of excessive wealth. How dare you sling some cheap material between two trees on a rope. It was a bit flash for my liking. So we're going to pull you back down to earth and christen the hammock. They think this is a $10 hammock from Cracker Jack, by the way.

This is like I hop in it and it goes. It's just not a two-person scenario. It's not wide enough for two people, let alone two people engaging in the ancient act of the two-backed turtle. Born that is so rude. I'm so narrow. Yeah, she keeps saying this. Every time I mention the hammock, she's like, don't you, this is fat shaming, your body's shaming me. I'm like, I'm so narrow. Yeah, she keeps saying this. Every time I mention hammocks, she's like,

don't you, this is fat shaming. Your body's shaming me. I'm like, I'm not. You could be two very tiny people, but you couldn't do it in a hammock. But last night I searched hammocks and gifts, and the first three that came up were canoodling ones. So it's been done before. That's science.

Canoodling, like lying beside each other, maybe with an arm around. Yes, but I don't believe. Fletch, now you're probably the one on the show with the deepest well of sexual experience. Have you? Have you? Wow. Can I put that way?

Can you endorse me on LinkedIn for that? He's got a deep and vast well of sexual experience. Have you ever fallen around in a hammock? No, I can't say I ever have. It's just... Look at him, he's delving into the well. Yeah, he's had to go into his mind maze.

Can't remember. God, I don't know what he is. That's why it's a well, because you can see the first little bit, then it gets very dark. Very dark, shadowy, echoey. Then I could fall in and be trapped in there for a while. And you don't know what's down there. You hear some voices yelling, help!

Ballsy manoeuvre, though, to say you're going round to someone's party to canoodle in their hammock. It's a kind of relationship man-born have. I just had to keep him on his toes. I thought we were all making jokes about where we're going to canoodle, because this house hasn't seen much canoodling. There's not been a lot of canoodling. We all need to christen different areas.

That's not the pool, though. I run a very strict pool filtration system. No, I bad seed the pool. There can't be any bodily fluids in the pool. My children swore to me the other day they haven't even had wheeze in the pool. And that's quite amazing because as a kid I always had wheeze in the pool. August that's quite amazing because I was a kid, I always had wheeze in the pool. August is 100% lying. Yeah, I think.

And we'll be doing chips and dip in the pool. Oh, absolutely we'll not. I would rather you tried to hump in the hammock than you bought chips into the pool area. Absolutely not. From the ZM Think Tank, this is the Top Six. Hello there. The Top Six regional pedestrian crossings is what we want to talk about today in the Top Six. These are great.

I don't know why we aren't doing this more often. Wellington has a history of it. They did a Kate Shepard. Yep. Stop, go. This is just where you're waiting at the pedestrian lights and it says the reds to stop, the green. It's go. And they've got some kapa haka symbols up there now,

and they look awesome. What else have they had? They did a Carmen. They did a Carmen. Carmen, New Zealand's most high-profile drag queen. And, yeah. Kate Shepard. Yeah, they did a Kate Shepard.

On the suffragette. I'm assuming it's just like any kind of LED or neon sign or whatever. It's a computer program and it just blocks out what it doesn't want to make green, so you can make any image. Yeah. Or it might just be a green light with a black tape silhouette over it, so you only see the part that's cut out. It could be that simple.

I don't know why we're not doing this more. It's fun, isn't it? Yeah. These are the top six regional pedestrian crossings. Why don't we get into it with number six, Gisborne. Okay. Where it could be a stream of urine and an associated face of, oh, that stings a bit,

because Gisborne is still currently New Zealand's STI capital. Or a condom, just to remind you. Oh, right, okay. If you're walking to your booty call, get a condom. And red means stop, green means get in there. I don't know if that's going to do so well for the tourism angle. Keep people talking. Sure.

Keep people talking. Get them down to Gizzy. Number five on the list of the top six regional pedestrian crossings if we go just down the coast from Gisborne into Hawke's Bay, the green could be a baby boomer having a vino at a Mission concert. Brilliant. Baby boomers love the sunny weather of the Hawke's Bay, and they do love a vino at the Mission.

What would the red be? Them at A&E when they fall over and break something on the way out of a Phil Collins concert. Just wanted them to take it easy. Yeah, fair call. Number four on the list of the top six regional pedestrian crossings, let's pop down to Otago, where it could be a couch. The green is just a couch. Yeah.

And then when it goes red, the couch now has flames on it. That's awesome. The couch is on fire. I like it. Yeah, that's a casual reminder of a good way to get warmth from furniture in the upcoming winter. Number three on the list of the top six regional pedestrian crossings, let's go to the Waikato, my home province,

where it could just be something as cute as cows. Yeah. Up there. I think my hometown's absolutely, but I don't know if we've got pedestrian crossings in Morrinsville. No, you've got a lot of cow statues already. Yeah, it's like we had Extreme Makeover Town Edition and we told that yelly guy that we like cows and he's just got cows everywhere.

Or maybe a cow poo. Oh yeah, okay. Famously polluted waterways. Or meth. Just a big... Right, yeah. All popular there. All very popular.

And all, you know, a great income for the area. Yeah. Some taxable, some not. Number two on the list of the top six regional pedestrian crossings. Let's go down to the West Coast. Oh, okay. Where green could be two people kissing. And then red could be two very similar looking people having a kiss.

Like maybe their parents were siblings. Reminding the people of the West Coast, that's your cousin. Ah, ah, ah. Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah. Ma, ah, ah. If you see them at Christmas, you shouldn't be kissing them. It's a lovely part of the country. It's absolutely gorgeous.

But check it's not your cousin. Yeah, yeah, just run a quick Facebook search. Okay. If your mutual friend is your mum or your auntie, it's probably your cousin. Red flag. Number one on today's top six regional pedestrian crossings in Northland. I think this move should be made now

to pre-empt the legalisation of medicinal marijuana. But let's get the marijuana leaf on the pedestrian crossings. Oh, the green. The green's marijuana leaf. And that could be adopted in lots of different places around New Zealand. I mean, Mochueka would love that. Nelson would be right on board. Again, yeah, yeah.

Again, if Gizmo doesn't want the condom and the STI, that could be something for there, for the East Coast. Raglan, I'm looking at you. Yeah. I mean, pretty much everywhere. Does Raglan have traffic lights though? Nah, it doesn't have any. Oh, it's got the one-way bridge and the light changes.

So it could go on there. It could go on there. Okay, great. Could easily go on there. That is today's top six. FM. It's not often that the whole country gets a bit told off by the police,

but they have put a... Did we all get told off? To shush, please. A mass tell off. You bloody be quiet, pretty much. Right, okay. And we did sort of deserve it. There is...

Did they flash their lights before they told us? Oh. Weep, weep, weep. I'd like to think so. They have slammed social media users and even the international media. Right. After you may have seen everyone talking about the hot cop.

So her name is Constable Lana Crichton, and she has done a bunch of vlogs for the Auckland Police YouTube channel. And she is an attractive female. Right. You've got to be careful I don't get told off by the police. She's a babe and she has sleeve tattoos and she's young and she's pretty cool looking. And so everyone watched this video.

It's been viewed at this point around 28,000 times. Right. And everyone called her a hot cop. And I saw posts and stories about her. And it was the comments that the police have taken offence to. So on the lighter scale of things, people said Lana can arrest me

anytime. I'd commit a crime just to meet her. She's a knockout and others. Now, the police have said... You probably can't read out. That I can't read. The police have said, can you please calm down? From time to time, staff who appear on our social media channels

have received inappropriate and objectifying comments. Because I have seen male cops get the same treatment. That's true. Yep. If any comments made on these channels are inappropriate... I've actually made a couple of them. I know that's why I made the face because I have two. To male cops, yeah.

I've been like, he can spread me on the bonnet. That went a bit far, didn't it? I would have said maybe pat me down. Yeah, pat me down. Pat me down. No, but I meant like, you know, when they put your hands on the car and spread your legs and then they pat you down. We knew exactly what you meant.

Yeah. So they said if any comments are made that are inappropriate, we will ensure they're hidden or deleted. Basically, she did it to engage in the community and give them kind of a behind-the-scenes insight into life of our frontline New Zealand police. And you can tell the next person that does a blog will be an ugly cop. Oh, no, but then I wouldn't want it.

They're like, Steve, we need you to do the blog this month. They'll be like, but they're going on the radio, so they're picking an ugly one this month. No, they're going to balance it up to make it look like they're not always choosing. I thought Lana was doing them. No, Steve, we need you to balance it out. Step up, Steve. Yeah.

But I didn't get any warning. Yeah. I would have, like, had it out. Step up, Steve. Yeah. But I didn't get any warning. Yeah. I would have, like, had a broccoli diet or something for a week. Oh, Steve, you're all right, mate. I'm only thinking about that. You've got to be, like, working at Bunnings and you get the call up to be on the ad. No, that's an honour. You know, that's a good thing.

I wouldn't want to do it. That's an honour. And how, as long as they tell you in advance again so you can do, like, a broccoli diet. Yeah. And you're like, well, we're getting hair and makeup for the bunning shoot. Of course. Yeah, yeah. Janice from Paints is going to be doing it.

I need a new apron too. Put on your apron. Oh, they'd give you a fresh apron. Surely. Surely. What if they gave you a dud line? Like, yeah, I love outdoor patio furniture. Oh, that's not a deadline.

Oh, okay. Pretty good line. That's a good line? Okay, I'd line that one. Yeah, so calm down, please, and stop commenting on Lana's videos. Fletchbourne and Megan's Community Notices. Hello there, and welcome to Community Notices, a segment of the show where we have a look at what's happening around New Zealand

according to local Facebook pages, which can be feral places. They can be. They really can be feral, given that we're in the middle of a lack of rain, although that's about to break apparently. On my local community page, lots of people asking about where to get their tanks filled. Tankers come around and fill up their water tanks. Oh yeah. Because they collect rainwater, but it's not been raining.

And lots of people ask. Yesterday, someone had had enough of people just not searching previous comments and called them a bunch of effing idiots and pick up a phone and make a call. Really, it exploded. Right. It turned into quite a feral situation. But let's go up to the Hibiscus Coast for today's first official community notices.

Amber writes on the community page, Hibiscus Coast, I think I just swam through someone's ashes. What? I don't know how I feel about this. RIP, sure. When scattering ashes, please be wary of others already swimming in the water. Oh, my God.. Oh my God. Oh my God.

How would you know? Would it just be an ashy residue on the top? It would be on the top of the water. Yeah, it would be floating. I've never seen human ashes. Is it a fine? It's ground.

It's like a really, really coarse sand. But it's different too. There might be really powdery bits that are more like dust, but there can be bits that are like coarse sand. And they float. Yeah, right. Well, yeah, they sit on top of the water. Oh,'s different too. There might be really powdery bits that are more like dust, but there can be bits that are like coarse sand. And they float. Yeah, right. Or yeah, they sit on top of the water. Oh, that's grim.

I know, you're right. Imagine if you came up for a breath. Nana? Well, not your nana. I don't mind if my nana's in my mouth. I don't want anyone else's nana. I think that's worse, isn't it? Is that like genetically like I've inherited. It's like incest. You consume

your own nana. There's nothing sexual about it. Consuming your own nana's not okay. Megan's got a point. She's in you. She's in you. She's contributed to what I am. She's one quarter of my DNA. Maybe it's more inbreeding then.

It's not sexual. It's just Nana's leftovers. Are in my mouth and nose. Anyway, that's a really good point, Amber. Thank you for raising it. I'm all for a ceremony spreading at sea but not on the swimming lane. Take a boat and go offshore a couple of k's.

Yeah, I wonder if everyone's got access to a boat. Just go to a polluted beach where nobody's... A ferry's a good idea. Do it on the fuller's ferry. Got to check the wind, though, because you don't want all those tourists with... And why heck are you reading this? Because are we eating a Memphis meltdown?

They're like... And then it's covered in nana. Which makes a Memphis meltdown hard to eat. And you don't want to ditch the chocolate outside. Always check the wind direction before spreading nana. That's a great idea. Next up from Vic Deals page, Nathan wants to know if anyone knows the best method to post a single pre-cooked sausage from Russell to Otaki. Okay.

That seems like a silly request to me. But lots of people offering actual suggestions. We're frozen with an ice pack. But if anybody knows the ins and outs of currying a single sausage. It must be a good sauce. Pre-cooked? Can't be.

Oh yeah, not pre-cooked. I'm sausage. I'll sausage shame you. Next up from Hunt Valley Security Notice Board, Ange has posted a warning and this has maybe even made some national headlines, but does anybody know the name of these ladies shopping on Jackson Street? And there's some security camera footage.

They help themselves to some of our products. Cough, butt plugs, cough. No, Bree and Clint talk to these. Yeah, the butt plug bandits. These are what these two ladies have been labelled. They talk to the, was it Peaches and Cream, I believe. Yeah. One of them opened her bag, returned one item and apologised.

The other refused to open her bag and left with unpaid merchandise. The police report has been filed. I did tell these ladies that they're going on Facebook if they didn't return the items, but they still chose to leave without paying. Please help us find the butt plug bandits. So, yeah. That's, imagine going to court and you get your mug shot and then you're going worldwide for that. I'm sorry. That's stolen. Imagine going to court and you get your mug shot

and then you're going worldwide for that. I'm sorry. That's worldwide press fodder. You really are. Next, from the Dunedin News page, Joe writes, whoever's setting off the alarm on this Lime scooter, please go away.

I'm trying to sleep. So I don't know if Joe's got the Lime scooter in his house. Yeah, maybe. But locked, so nobody's riding and he's not being charged for it, but he wants to assure a ride in the morning and someone's trying to find it to set off the alarm. Or he's just got one outside his place parked.

Yeah, and someone said, you shouldn't be hiding it inside your house. It'll be a juicer trying to take it home to charge it. Megan and I saw a juicer today. Yeah. I've never seen a juicer on my way to work before. I see them most mornings. Yeah, they're lining up Queen Street with scooters.

They get paid per scooter they juice. Yeah. And I read an article about it. It's quite fascinating. And depending on like how much that scooter needs charging, you get paid more. Right. So they have a different app to the rest of us

and they can like go and find them. How do you become a juicer? I think you've got to sign up and do a... A juicing course. A juicing course. A juicing course. I don't know, plug it in. Yeah. But you've got to have...

They've all got vans and stuff. Like, it's a fun... They take it seriously. Oh, yeah. Well, imagine if you already had a van. It would be quite a lucrative little moneymaker if you had to get up early in the morning anyway. Yeah.

Those are today's community notices. If you see anything on your local Facebook page, like people swimming through other people's ashes, you can screen cap it and send it to us. We're FVMZM on Facebook. Fletch. Vaughn. And Megan.

The podcast. Guys, I think I might have found a workaround for the Uber surge thing, issue. Lay it on me because this can make a massive difference. So especially... Because you live in the middle of nowhere now. Yeah, I think non-surged from work to home, my Uber would be upwards of $60 now.

It would be like a $60 Uber. So if you had a two-surge, you're going from $60 to $120. I know. So people who don't have Uber, at busy times, they do surge prices. So they can go two times or like... Even 1.5 or 1.3 times more than the normal fare. And that's when you wade down a taxi and you'd be like,

well, the Uber was going to be 60, but if you can match it, I'll just go with you instead. And the taxi's like, okay, they didn't know it was a surge. Unless they're one of those taxis that's breaking the rules. Taxi slash Uber. They pull off their magnet and they're an Uber now. I know. So this has happened twice now.

And it probably isn't, this little hack isn't going to work if you're lazy, but the first time we did this at an event with some friends, and we're at this park. It was huge. There was like thousands of people there. The event was about to wrap up. We ordered a couple of Ubers,

and they were surge like two times. Yeah. So we were just like, oh, well, let's just walk down the road, and maybe we can get the bus or a train if we keep walking like a K or something. We're at 500 metres and I just checked the Uber and there was no surge because we'd walked away from the huge pool of people. So you think it's geographically, not just like a time thing?

Maybe because we got an Uber for literally half the price, with no surge price. Okay, I'm interested. And then last night, same thing, after Cirque du Soleil. Cirque du Soleil. Although we were like, we busted out of there straight away. You didn't leave early. Just walked over the road and just down a little bit, and no surge.

Really? No surge. Because I'll quite often often if there's a surge if I was going to the airport I'll just cancel it and try 10 minutes later or I've done that before walk down the road

no surge. I didn't know I had no idea it was G-Earth because I just thought it was a time thing. Or maybe it can be both. I want to know how it works.

Or they identify events. Well maybe yeah they see everyone's requesting from this one spot. Right. But I just walked down and, and that worked for me. So I don't know if that's a loophole, but give it a go. Because, yeah, like you say, if you're going far away like you to the middle of nowhere,

the difference can be like 50 bucks. Oh, easy. If it's double a $50 fare. Yeah. Right. Nuts. Okay. I'm just looking into it, but it just says that special events are reasons for the surge,

but it doesn't tell me if I walk, you know, if it's location-based or time-based. Yeah. Right. I think quite often as well, it's better to walk away from an event because you're getting away from the traffic that they're probably... Going to get caught in. They'll get caught in anyway. Yeah, right.

Lime scooters. Lime scooters. The lime scooter craze. And he was just going too fast, so I jumped out the way. Another day, another lime scooter story. Well, they have been told Lime Scooter by Auckland Transport Chairman Lester Levy, who sounds like a villain from a Marvel movie. Lester Levy. My God, it was Lester Levy all along. He has said Lime's days could be numbered.

They have got till Friday to prove that they are safe. We cannot. Are you ready for the uncoolest line of all time? Okay. We cannot let cool trump safety. Oh. Wow. Pretty much You think you're real cool

But it's dangerous To be fair though There are some horrific accidents Serious injuries Where like I'm Like if people are idiots and they fall off That's their fault But scooters are locking up

Yeah the front wheel's locking up too Unexplained And that will just send you flying It doesn't matter how good or safe you are on but scooters are locking up. Yeah, the front wheel's locking up too. Unexplained, and that will just send you flying. It doesn't matter how good or safe you are on these scooters, if it locks up on you just out of the blue, you're going over. And most people aren't wearing helmets, are they? No. So they do need to sort

out that issue, but at the same time, but I want my lame scooters. I don't like walking anymore. And I had to walk all the way to work today. Oh my god. It was horrible. I don't like walking anymore. I know I had to walk all the way to work today. Oh my God. It was horrible. I can tell when you haven't found a lime because you're just a little bit later than usual. Yes.

Yeah, a little bit puffed. Walk all the way to work. So yeah, Friday could be the problem. That's tomorrow. Oh no. Because they're on a trial, aren't they? The three month trial. They're on a trial.

So the council can say at any time. And this is just Auckland, by the way, although I'm sure if Auckland do, other councils around the country might follow suit. How are you supposed to prove that it's safe? I don't know exactly what litmus test they're using for safety. Because only until recently they've admitted it, because they kind of were quite silent on it initially.

But so many people came forward. I guess they had to say, yeah, we've got a problem. So they reckon up to $200,000 now in e-scooter related injuries over the past few months. Not all Lyme. Some of them could be people who have purchased their own. And also still looking at law changes that would impose a 10km speed limit. But see, that's too slow. That's way too slow. That's way too slow.

It's way too slow. Yeah, that's an awkward speed. You've got to go at least 20. 10's an awkward speed. Yeah. Yeah. You're not going to be able to time your run and rip around an old lady walking and zip straight in front of her to get back in before the footpath goes skinny again at 10km an hour.

Or hoon past the police and run a red light, eh, Vaughn? Yeah, I mean, these things happen happen Megan, to the best of us. The police obviously had no issue with it when I did it. I just can't wait to see a policeman hiding behind a shop front with a radar gun pinging people on lime scooters like what is the world coming to?

Hilarious. And then imagine if the police also get like guns that they can aim at the lime scooter and pull the trigger and it locks the wheels for like a rogue runaway. And like, how are they chasing these scooter? They can't do it on a car.

Are they going to get police scooters? Yes, police limes. With little sirens. It's like, don't use the siren too often, Greg. You'll run your battery down. But I like it. Are your lights going? We're going to be in so much trouble

if we run out of charge before lunchtime. Oh, my God. I want to do this so bad. I'm going to help the country and foster a Border Patrol puppy. Well, no, not officially. I just really, really want to do it. This sounds like a promise of a woman

who has not run this past her husband. I haven't. We used to have a beagle, but there are beagle puppies that need foster homes for 14 months. So you will have the puppy and you need to raise the puppy and look after it for 14 months. Yeah. And then they will start their Border Patrol training, which is where they look after our country. You get the cute puppy for 14 months and you have to break up cold turkey, give it to customs.

That's going to be really hard. And then you never see it again apart from when you're coming back from Fiji once a year. Is that you? And do you get to name it? Geronimo. What?

Geronimo. Do you know why it was Geronimo? Just thought it'd be a pretty cool name for a dog. You could go Ger for a short. Call it something cute and then they rename it. Or do they give it to you named? I don't know. I don't know.

But apparently it's not a walk in the park. So you have to, the puppy's got to be kept company throughout the day because it's got to learn like basic skills. And then you need to take it to, oh my God, designated social events. With other Border Patrol puppies. It must be. They have them at shopping centres and schools. And you have to be interviewed as well.

So if it does sound like you could do this, it's 14 months. Well, yeah, they don't want to foster out a puppy to like a drug house. Yeah. Or get hooked on drugs too early. They'd find drugs really quick. If it was hooked on drugs, it would find the drugs. Yeah, true. Yeah. Well, that's, I guess quick. If it was hooked on drugs, it would find the drugs in the airport. Yeah, true. Yeah.

Well, that's, I guess, if you got hooked on your puppy, you could kind of mess with it so that it wouldn't work at border security. Well, yeah, you could be like, there's nothing to worry about, mate. Yeah. It's just a bit of cocaine. There's nothing to worry about. And then when you start smuggling internationally,

go to the aisle with your old dog and then you'll be like, there's nothing to worry about, mate. And the dog will just be like, aye, nah, I've heard that before. Just go for it. They will cover costs as well. So like food, collars, brushes,

laces, toys, shampoo, flea treatment, everything. They'll cover the cost. When it's the 14 months and you have to give it back,

could you just be like, it's gone, I don't know what happened to it. I don't think so. Because you would get so attached. That's an unfair amount of time. Yeah, you'd become super attached. I didn't think about that part. Like That's an unfair amount of time. Yeah, you'd become super attached.

I didn't think about that part. Like at least a month or two, you know, you could handle that. But 14 months, that's part of the family. Yeah. Cute, Fletch, that you were the one that said that. Yeah. Part of the family. Yeah, and then they have a detective dog puppy development team

that will visit your house and like, I don't know. This seems also like over a year old, it seems like you've left the training a bit late. I would have thought they would have been in training pretty quick. Straight away. Sort of as soon as they were. They were obviously doing like basic skills. Some sort of training.

Some sort of training. But once they get really into it, I think they have to obviously be a little bit older. Right. Because they're too erratic when they're puppies. Right. You know, like they need to calm down just a smidge. They need to loosen that rule about patting them when you're coming back into the country.

Because they're so cute in their little jackets. You're like, hee hee, pat. No. They even give you a look because I'm always like, hello, hello. No touching. Yeah. They came past us last time we were coming back through. The dog came and gave the bag a sniff and was like, you know, no worries here, boss.

Pretty much. Walked around and the lady was like, back here, and pulled it back to my bag. I was like, excuse me. Except there's no issue. Yes. I have been cleared by the dog. You're the one profiling me. Yeah, I did. I felt profiled.

Do you ever, because you know when you're walking out the gate, they kind of just randomly select people. Sometimes I feel like I've got away with it if it doesn't sniff my bag. Even though you've got nothing in there. I know. I had nothing in there, but I could have. But I always get nervous.

I'm always like, oh my God, oh my God. And it's like, well, there's nothing in there. You don't need to be nervous. This is me talking to myself. Yeah. But then I'm still like, it's coming for me. But if I take my school bag on holiday, my work bag, because I have all my fruit in there, sometimes it's always sniffing that. No, but then my work bag, because I have all my fruit in there,

sometimes it's always sniffing that. No, but then the people say, oh, have you had fruit in there? You're like, yeah. Do they say that to everyone? Yeah, I like to think when they were doing another round of me, they thought I looked like a cool dude who might be into drugs. I'm a dad, so it was definitely

an orange or an apple. Yeah, yeah. Spy.co.nz Okay, so the deal is Tristan Thompson cheated again. We did have wind of this the past couple of days, but apparently Sunday there was a party at Tristan's house. Jordan Woods was there. Now, Jordan, if you're not aware,

is Kylie Jenner's best friend, has been since they were kids. Right. She lives at Kylie's house, and she apparently hooked up with Tristan Thompson. And she can thank her 8 million followers, really. She can thank Kylie Jenner for those, really. For her whole career, pretty much.

Yeah. And so there were people at this party. The phones were handed in, but the people at the party saw them. And Jordan didn't leave his house till 7 a. Yeah. And so there were people at this party. The phones were handed in, but the people at the party saw them. And Jordan didn't leave his house till 7 a.m. Now, Chloe and Malika and everyone involved have commented on some of these posts. And they're like, this is true. So they have broken up. No word yet as to what Kylie Jenner is apparently going to do.

But she's devastated as well. Has she commented on anything? No, Kylie hasn't. Oh, right, okay. But there is an awkward interview that's going around of Jordan Woods talking about Tristan and Khloe's relationship. She said, I think they just have fun together.

I feel like they have great chemistry, so that works out well. There's so much footage and stuff that's just going to be trawled up. And she was also a model for Khloe Kardashian's Good American line. So she was paid by Khloe for a job. That video's going around too, which is just so awkward. So we want to ask a question.

Just on the back of this huge Kardashian bombshell news today. Love triangle. The love triangle. When did you sleep with someone that you 100% knew you shouldn't be sleeping with but you just did anyway? Because this is the situation.

Jordan Woods is Kylie Jenner's best friend for 15 years since they were little and she has slept with Khloe Kardashian's partner. Baby daddy.

So her relationship was if she was to call, I mean, that'd be great if she's listening to call. That'd be great. I mean, that exclusive would go down well. Would be, I know I shouldn't have, but I sleep with my best friend's sister's husband.

Partner. Are they married? No. Baby daddy. Baby daddy. Oh, she shouldn't have done that. You don't need to be told. It's not a grey area.

It's, you know. I know, and we're all finding this, like, very interesting to talk about. Very juicy. Oh, it's soap opera. Probably a lot of us can't throw stones, though. Eh, Fletch? Fletch should never be picking up stones. What do you mean?

You should never be looking at stones. You shouldn't be around stones. You should be on sand. You should be on grass. Where is this coming from? Who have I done this to? Well, no, we're just assuming. We just know that it's in there.

And that reaction would absolutely cement our hypothesis. If you want an actual example, producer Caitlin, she was told. Don't throw her under the stone. She was told a while ago at a party, do not sleep with this person. Let her tell the story. I didn't. To be fair, I did not sleep with him. But you had a roars and fooleries.

No, I just kissed him on the mouth. But I was told that I went to a party. This person doesn't work here anymore. I wouldn't have even said that. That's a funny place for a mouth. I don't. I'm tired. For God's sake. I'm on, I don't, I am totally on. Fletch, Fletch,

shut up. For goodness sake. I'm on Caitlin's side because to be fair, this person that told you no had no right to tell you no. You can't put bagsies on people. They're not seats.

Yeah, but I knew that, yeah, so we went to a party and I was like, oh, this is when I was single. I've got a boyfriend now.

Did you guys know I've got a boyfriend? Yes, we did. And this is when I was single and I was going to this friend's party and I was like,

oh, cool, I hope there's some like guys I can, you know, flirt with. Yeah. And then she was did, yeah. And this is when I was single and I was going to this friend's party and I was like, oh, cool, I hope there's some guys I can flirt with. Yeah. And then she was like, yeah, totally. There's just one person you can't. And I was like, all good. And then, well, I couldn't help it. I don't know what happened.

They went together and the other person was 100% not into the person that told you not to. Yeah, see, I'm with Megan. I don't think that really counts. Did they ever find out? They didn't, eh? They did.

They did. They did find out. But I wasn't, I didn't go and intentionally be like. When did they find out? Because you're always really super subtle about hooking up with people. You don't talk about it. Hold on. What are you guys being mean to me today?

I want to hear from people that have been in the similar situation where maybe it's someone's partner and you know, without a doubt, that you should not be hooking up with them. But it happened. And what was the fallout? Or to this day, is it still a secret? I want to hear from these people today. Because, I don't know, we're just, some people just can't help it, can they? Yeah. And sometimes you're like, well, it's on them to say no.

Megan, it's. Who's more obligated to say no? Well, if you're not friends with the. Yeah, yeah, no. I mean, you might know. You should sit down and you'd be like, all right, look, I can feel the sexual tension here, but which of two of us is more highly obligated to say no?

You're obligated to say no. You're married, so it's your decision. This is on you. Yeah. Okay, give us a call. 0800-DARLS-AT-M-9696. When did you hook up with someone that you know 100% you shouldn't be hooking up with? Anonymous joins us on the phone.

Good morning, Anonymous. Hi, guys. How are you? Good. So, you've been in a very similar situation to the current drama that's unfolding right now. I relate to Chloe so hard. Okay. So what happened with you? So typical, seeing this boy from uni, didn't quite work out.

Then he came back for summer and started, you know, doing what you do. Yes. And they went on a sober driving, well, she wasn't sober driving, they went on a van trip down to, I won't say the city, but... Who's they? Is this your friend? Well, my friend, the boy I was seeing,

and a few others, like all my friends that I knew. So they all went down, I had to stay and work, and then he brings me at 3am going, oh, can I come stay at yours? Yeah, no, that's no worries. Two weeks later, I find out that on that trip, he actually hooked up with my best friend

and then came and stayed in my bed. Your best friend did that to you? Are you still friends? God, no. Good, good. What did she have to say for herself? Did you hit her up? Well, she denied it and he denied it,

but everyone that was on the trip came and told me, you know, it happened. It's a trouble when there's other people there, isn't it? Yeah. They're all witnesses. How long were you best friends for? Oh, gosh. Like seven years.

Oh, wow. Seven years. It is crazy how that happens. Yeah. Yeah. For what? A few minutes. Yeah. For what? A few minutes. Yeah, and that's all gone, isn't it?

That's crazy. Anonymous, thank you so much for your call. Somebody said, I hooked up with my friend's dad, who is 20 years older than me. This went on for six months. His marriage subsequently broke up. And then when that marriage broke up, word got back to my partner that it had been happening,

and mine did too. Oh, they had a partner! Oh, my God! partner! Oh my god! I know. Because to me, when you're hooking up with your friend's dad, it's early 20s, but they were maybe a bit older. Yeah, I think you lose your friendship with your friend because you broke up with your parents

relationship. Yeah. Wow, you're the villain in that. Heck of a situation. Somebody said when I was with my partner, he cheated on me and so we broke up. But now every time he gets a new girlfriend, I don't know why, but when he tells me, because we talk, he's got a girlfriend, we end up sleeping together again. What?

When he's got a girlfriend and it just happens once per girlfriend. But you know that you shouldn't be sleeping with him, but you do. Yeah. It just, it happens every time. But what's in it for them? I just can't say no. But you know that you shouldn't be sleeping with him, but you do. Yeah. It just happens every time. But what's in it for them? I just can't say no. I don't know. Someone said the biggest mistake I made was I slept with my best friend

and I'd been best friends with them since we were like little kids. Oh, yeah. And we got into our 20s and then one night I had a bit too much to drink and ended up sleeping together. We both knew we shouldn't be and it just kind of blew our friendship apart. And they couldn't get over it? No. Okay.

Twice now I've slept with a guy who I knew had a girlfriend, but that is so hot I couldn't help myself. It wasn't me, but my brother slept with our mate's mum on New Year's Just Gone. He still doesn't know for certain, but he's fairly suspicious that one of us did. Oh, my God. Wow.

I hooked up with my best mate's mum and sister the same night. They both had partners. Oh, no. What? Is that a genetic weakness? Is that a genetic weakness, like the mum and the sister are both genetically hot.

More likely to fall for this guy. Maybe. Just the same night though. There's groundwork to do. There's recovery to do. Recovery is very important. Wow. Okay.

Logistical. At least a power nap and a power aid. Sure. For recovery time. Yeah. You're all terrible people, basically. Basically, yeah. So yesterday I found myself in a very conflicted position.

Okay. Caught between what I had witnessed with my own eyes versus what I could find with scientific backing. Do you ever, like, so this is hilarious to me because this is what people say to you all the time. They've witnessed something, and you poo-poo all over it. Yeah, I poo-poo all over it. You poo-poo all over so many things.

And I'm like, you, Vaughn, like, crystals, psychics, nonsense. Anything spiritual. Show me science, anything spiritual, religious, I'm like, show me the evidence, and sure, I'll get on board. Hit me with some evidence. But he does brook and butcher, though. Well, religious, I'm like, show me the evidence and sure I'll get on board. Hit me with some evidence.

But he does brew kombucha though. Well, not only because I like the taste. I'm not saying it's a magical elixir for my health. He's not thinking it's got a gut something or the other. Exactly. No scientific backing. It might be one day, but until then. That's why this is hilarious because there's no scientific backing.

My parents came up for my birthday yesterday and dad's one of those people, like a lot of dads, he can't sit still. Like we're just chilling and then he just gets up and walks off. Oh, that's like my dad. Yeah. Where's he going? Mum's like, oh, he can't sit still. He's going for a look.

And then I see him over mucking around by our water tanks. Because what? Tanks at the new place. He collects it off the rain. What? He's just wondering. He's gone to find a job to do He collects it off the rain. What? He's just wondering. He's gone to find a job to do. No, he's just,

he's really interested in, he's like me. Like, how does that work? And then you just go and you have him poke around in a bit of a fidget. And then I hear, hey, Vaughn.

I was like, oh, yep. And I cruise over there. He's like, this isn't, this isn't even connected. And I was like, weird, because it was connected. But that's not what I witnessed that blew my mind.

He's like, well, let's get it reconnected. And he found some pipe and he's like, we'll reconnect it with this. He was like, weird, because it was connected. But that's not what I witnessed that blew my mind. He's like, well, let's get it reconnected. And he found some pipe. And he's like, we'll reconnect it with this. He's like, I wonder whereabouts your, when it goes underground from the house to the tanks. I wonder whereabouts it is underground. I was like, I have actually got no idea. So he's saying that somewhere underground

it's been disconnected. No, no, no, no. It was disconnected at the bit. But he's like, if we're going to dig down to reconnect it, I want to know which way the pipe's going so that we don't dig down and hit the pipe. So he's like, let's work out the straight line from where the house is. And I was like,

well, I don't know where it goes underground or anything. And he's like, you got any wire? And I said, yeah, sure, why? And I went and got the wire and he's like, cut it into like footlong bits. I was like, okay, and I cut it into footlong bits. And then he put a bend in it and he's like I'll find it and then he Like an ancient like a Native American

water diviner. Exactly what it's called it's called water divining and you can do it with like metal rods some people used to do it with like a stick and they said they could feel a vibration where there was water straight below it and he's like I'll find out where it is and he had like, I'll find out where it is.

And he had these, I put a video of it on my Instagram and my story because I'm just watching it happen, just like laughing. I'm like, well, you're never going to be able to find the water using your wire. And he's like, I don't know. And then he's walking and the wires are straight and then they just start to cross. And when they perfectly cross each other, he's like, here's where the pipe is. And then so we've mapped out and he did it by the house

and then did it by the tank and he was like okay straight because it'll be a straight pipe so he's like that's where we can't dig and then he did it again when he found the water mains

and he did it again to find another water pipe and he was right every three times so you dug down and you could see that he was right you could dig down

and you could see the line of going through you sent us a video to the group chat and I half watched it and I was like oh oh, lame dad joke. I thought he was joking. No, no, he takes it very seriously.

When you're a kid and you pick up a stick and you pretend to find water, that's just what you did. But it's good. So he made it work. And when I put the video up, I was like, I cry laugh face. He thinks he's finding water, and he found it where the water pipes were. And people were like, oh, yeah, my granddad used to do this.

And so I said to dad, how did you learn to do this? Like, where did you pick up how to do this? He's like, I didn't. Like, my granddad used to do this. And so I said to dad, how did you learn to do this? Like, where did you pick up how to do this? He's like, I didn't. Like, your granddad used to do it. It's just what you do when you need to find a water pipe. He's like, I do it all the time. These guys were digging the other day and they stopped outside their mum and dad's place in a digger

and he went down and he's like, what's wrong? And they're like, oh, I think there's a water main down here. And dad's like, I'll find it. And got his wires and crossed it and he's like, alright lads, the pipe goes through here so just don't dig exactly here and they were like this old boy's lost his bloody marbles and then they dug down either side of where dad was and then put a spade in and just scraped across and found the water main and there was no marking because it was a really old water pipe did you try this no i i didn't try it so what does he tell you happens though because the wires just cross but it looks like he's just turning them.

No, so he said, all you've got to do is balance them on your fingers. Yeah. And you just walk across. And he said, when you start getting close to it, they'll start moving it. And when you're right over it, they'll cross it. But there's no science to this. But that's what I was like, is this a science thing? He's like, I've got no idea.

And he's not doing it. He's never made money off it. It's not a scam. Your damn can be the next Calvin Cruikshank. He's like, I'll find the dead body. Did he have a bottle of H2Go on him? Is he sure? Yeah, here's the water.

But do you see how, like, something like that, you witnessed it. You're like, well, he's not hurting anyone. And I saw it happen, so I believe him. That's the thing. He's not charging anybody any money. No, but you don't believe in people who aren't charging people any money either. Well, I always believe they've got

a little ulterior motive. So yeah, at this stage, he's fluking. He's fluking water main finding. I just laughed but this was weird. Three times though? Fluking it? Three times yesterday and he can do it in a paddock if he needs to find where a pipe is. But see, I'm more likely to believe that metal over the ground could move because there's water under it.

Because, I don't know. So I googled it and I was like, how does water divining work? Yeah. And it doesn't. There's no scientific proof that it does work. But I've witnessed it. And then you'd imagine the quandary I found myself in as a man of science. Goodness, Vaughn.

Yeah. Yeah. Can't be explained. And now all Jesus has got to do is like appear and say to me, so he told you, and I'll be like, I'm on board.

You're at church every Sunday. I'm on board. I don't know about that. My sleeping days. Right. I'll go on one of these days after work. Yeah, right.

Maybe it's a mid-morning pre-session. But now you can understand when people think spiritual things happen to people. So I heard from plumbers who were like, yeah, no, this is legit. This is what we do to find water mains if we need a dig. This is exactly what's done. But where's the science in it?

I have not. This is my weekend. I'm dedicating some hours this weekend. House warming cancelled. I love that this happened to you. Surely there's a plumbing, some kind of electronic meter that does this. Like when you find studs in the wall. There'd be a sonar equipment.

Yeah, something like that. Totally, totally. Okay, right. That's thousands of dollars, mate. Two bits of wire that you've got hanging around. Yeah, you've got Ian. Don't worry about it. And he won't charge you.

Well, he's not coming to everybody's house. He could do like some kind of like documentary series, just travelling around like finding water with his little rods. Ian's water search. I don't know how far down Ian goes. I don't know how powerful he is. Okay.

And how good the chat will be because he'll be like, it's here. How do you do it? Don't know. Don't know. But it's all in the journey, isn't it,

these TV shows? So somebody said they've got a rough explanation for it. There's a small induced electrical charge from the body's electrical field that reacts with metal pipes. But this wasn't a metal pipe. There's a small induced electrical charge from the body's electrical field

that reacts with metal pipes. But this wasn't a metal pipe. This was a plastic pipe. Oh, right. I don't know. Somebody said, I'm a skeptic, but not with this. It's crazy how I've seen guys literally find water way underground. With two little bits of metal.

Two bits of metal. Unbelievable. I know. Because, you know, our old producer, James, his dad, Brian. Yeah. Beeras. Is a plumber. Yeah.

And he said this is what plumbers do to find it. But in England, when James got there, just out of interest, the English government banned you being able to charge for it. Like, all you did was you went out to find water because it's unexplained by science and you can't charge for magic. But that doesn't stop psychics contacting the dead. Oh well maybe in England you can't

like fill out a GST form for it. You can't itemise your trade receipt for psychics and say well for 15 minutes I was using magic but I can't charge for that. Right. Interesting. Underground water creates a magnetised force which crosses the wires.

See, I could believe that. Somebody said you can find cables using it as well. You can find power cables, which makes more sense to me because I've got an electrical charge and I don't know how that works. So you just cut an extension cord in half, plug it in and then just walk out into the backyard. I know you'll feel that. But you somebody said yeah the wires cross

inwards for water and outwards for power. What? I don't know. I'm not going to try this because I'll electrocute myself or I'll burst a mane or something. Somebody said if you do this over a person it will do the same thing

because people are 80% water. That's not true. Is it? I don't know. Do we have wire in the office? Get me some wire. No, but I don't know if I've inherited

the magic power of the divine. It's not a magic power of the divine. I'm going home because he left the wires behind. Did he? Right, okay.

I'm going to do some divining. Okay. But is he on your Instagram story doing it? Yeah. Or do you just send that to us? He's still up there. No, he's still on the wires behind. Did he? Right, okay. I'm going to do some divining. Okay. But is he on your Instagram story doing it? Yeah. Or do you just send that to us? He's still on there. No, he's still on there. So if you want to see Vaughan's dad doing this.

And yes, the two things I learned from replies with that were, yeah, heaps of old mates can do it. Yeah. And yes, my dad does look like Red off that 70s show. He does. He always has. He always has. When we were teenagers, he was exactly like him.

He had no time for our shenanigans whatsoever. And he looks like the four square guy a little bit, eh? Yeah, he used to when he had a bit more hair. Concentrating face is just the best. He's really into it. He's dividing, mate, and he's channeling his spiritual powers. You don't laugh at a psychic when they're contacting the dead because they're doing that serious face.

I do. I wish Dad had dead Weber's haircut. It would add a certain je ne sais quoi to waterfinding. You too. Oh, you have had a spray tan. Have you both had a spray tan before? Correct, yes. For work.

Yeah, you've never gone and had one that you paid for. That last one I got where we tried to spray tan abs on, that was really good. I'd get that again and a lot of compliments. Yeah, it did look good. Because they kind of define and a lot of compliments. Yeah. A lot of compliments. Because they kind of define. They contour. Oh, but it wasn't even that.

It was just afterwards. Oh, right. It wasn't too heavy on it. Yeah. It was a good brown. Yeah. Maybe we should do, can we do a wacky radio thing

where I get another one? I just want to freshen up, you know? No? Okay. Well, you've got to try these things. You've got to try. Perks, mate.

Guys work perks. The girls on the show had spray tans. Well, Caitlin always does herself, and she's really rubbish at it. You'd think she'd be getting better, but she... It's just your knees and your elbows, babe. No, your elbows. You're all in. You're coming in.

You look like you've fallen off your skateboard. I never get the elbows. I moisturise as well. I'm like, do you ever use the mitt? No, use the mitt. I don't know what's happening then. Yeah, you just... You've got really dry weenuses. You don't know what's happening then. Yeah, you just never get... You've got really dry weenuses.

You've got to exfoliate your weenus before you put them. So how much does it cost to get a spray tan? Oh, varies greatly. Like 30 to sometimes, is it like 60 bucks? Oh, well, you should spend at least 30, Caitlin. Someone, get a professional. Hey! Get a GrabOne voucher.

GrabOne.co.nz Yeah, actually, those are really good. You can get them for like 20 bucks. Stop sucking up to the CEO every time. Yeah. Hey, guys. Every time. Company Synergy.

Shut up, Dick. Company Synergy. So there is a Facebook group called... You can read more about Company Synergy and the New Zealand Herald business pullout. Oh. NewZealandHerald.co.nz. Okay.

GrabOne.co.nz. Can you just turn this mic off? There is a Facebook group. How about you find a new job at Udo? Good company plug. Yes. I'll need to get to my new job in a car, and what car's great for me? I'll find out at driven.co.nz. What's left?

Viva. Do you want to get a plug for that? What do they do? Fashion. We could go for lunch at a restaurant, which we would learn about in Bite. The New Zealand hair on fire. There is a Facebook group. It's called All Things Tanning.

And someone's put a post up there that has rocked the tanning community. Okay. Because... There's a line I did not accept here today. The tanning community has been rocked. Yeah. So this is a conversation that was shared. Hey girl, I noticed you didn't have a price list on your Instagram and I was wondering how much for the one hour express spray tan.

One hour? That doesn't seem like an express. No. Oh my God. So you get it sprayed on and you only have to leave it for an hour. Oh, you can wash it off. Because a lot of them take like six hours to develop. The express tans only take an hour and then you can wash it off.

Sure, you can paint a whole car in an hour. Not standing in there for an hour. Oh, that's what I wondered. Cute. So the technician says it's $35 standard rate. Then she says, I just had a look at your Instagram and I'm just wondering what size you are. The other person says I'm a 10 to 12 Australian.

Why is that? The technician says, well, my regular clients are at maximum size eight. So if you want to get yours done, it'll be a $20 extra. There's more surface area, if you know what I mean. How much extra surface area are we talking? I wouldn't think a lot. Size 8. That's not big.

No, that person's 10 to 12. She said her other clients are size 8. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. Her other clients are size 8. Her average. Yeah. That's tiny. Yeah, that's tiny.

But she's saying to do a 10 to 12, she's going to use more product. So she needs to charge $20 more. That's almost twice as much. And you wouldn't be using twice as much. No way. And also you should set up your pricing to average out for all of your clients. I would have thought. Yeah.

And I've never experienced that. You're a painter and you're getting a quote, you know, from a tiny unit or a Parnell mansion. Yeah. You know. And like, no, I've never been to a spray tan place where they give you different prices based on size. They can't

be using that much more. And then she said, I'm not trying to be mean. It is just the industry. And she went on to say, maybe if you don't like it, you should just try and lose a little bit of weight. No! What? She didn't say, if you don't like it, maybe try somewhere else. Yeah. Lose weight.

Yeah. Wow. Yeah. Lose weight. Yeah. Wow. Yeah. And then like lots of people commenting if you're pregnant, does it affect your price range? It's, yeah. Should you be jumping into a gassy room if you're pregnant? Yeah, that was my main. Is it?

That's such, like, there's lots of things like that with clothing as well. Like if it's bigger, should it be more expensive? And I, I mean, I'm not for that. I don't agree with that at all. Because clothing, you only get like a couple of extra centimetres. And if you go to a shop between the size eight and the, you know, whatever's the biggest in the shop, there's never any price difference. Why should it vary?

What has the spray tan community said? Post-rocking. Everyone's outraged. They're rocked. And even people in the industry are like, this is not an industry thing. She's being awful to you. And like I said, as people who get spray tans,

I've never experienced that either. But this was in Australia, wasn't it? It was, yeah. Okay. They should charge me more because I'm hairy and they've got to really get in there. You have to like rub it past the hair. Yeah, yeah.

Oh, do they rub it or you? Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Today's fact of the day is that a pelican. Yeah. Wait a minute. Stork. Not a pelican. What's the difference? One delivers babies. One takes Nemo. Wait a minute. Stork, not a pelican. What's the difference?

One delivers babies, one takes Nemo. That's right. On its journey. Pelican's the one with the big... Pelican's got a big... Put all the fish in it. Yeah. It's got a very loose, saggy pouch beak.

And then a stork's more of the fly, big, graceful fly. With a skinny, pointy beak. Like a heron? Kind of like a heron. But a heron's got a crooked, the neck thing. Okay. So a stork, they're big migratory birds, but today's fact of the day is a stork ended up with a $3,828 New Zealand phone bill. What?

How did it happen? Did it skip out of its 24-month plan? Yeah. Okay, click. What happened? It got an iPhone X on its OE and then left for New Zealand the next week. Which, does that close that loophole?

I don't know. Many a Kiwi signed themselves up for a big, fat British phone plan and then left to come home and they were just like, I'll just never go back. I don't think you can go back, yeah, if you do that.

But then you've run out of your two-year visa. You probably don't have to go back, do you? Skididly-dadly. So how this worked is when the storks fly north for the Northern Hemisphere summer, they often land in Poland.

Now, a Polish charity was tracking them because they believe these birds, when they arrive, the route they take and everything is related to climate change. They said sometimes they're coming earlier, saying that it's getting warmer earlier. So they put on a tracking device, and within that tracking device,

the track of the stalks was an international SIM card. Right. So then off it goes. It flies back and lands in Africa and is all good. Okay. Then they're monitoring it. It begins to fly back to Poland for the summer in the Northern Hemisphere. All of a sudden, it stops.

Right. And they're like, oh, no, it's passed away. Yeah. Then they got a bill for $3,828 New Zealand dollars on their SIM card. And they're like, wait a minute. Who's this bird calling? That had an associated data plan on it. Yep.

And it was covered for exponential amount of time. Yep. So they were like, well, let's track it down. They tracked down the mobile phone, the SIM card and the mobile phone it was in and it turns out someone had, when the stalks landed for a rest, killed the stalk and been like, what's that? Taken the SIM card

out of the thing, put it in their phone, started making phone calls. They're like there's no limit on this thing. And rung all sorts of phone numbers to just see, they were just using it as their SIM card because they couldn't hit a limit on it.

Right. And their other one must have been prepay. Yeah. And they racked up a $3,800 New Zealand phone call. So did they kill the stork for the? Yeah. Oh. Yeah.

It's really sad. Yeah, they killed the stork for the, because there was other storks that continued to fly. Yeah, right. But this one passed away and they stole its SIM card and racked up a whole lot of funicles. So it's technically mugged for its SIM card. Yeah.

Mugged and killed. Mugged and killed for its... It's not funny. Like it was on the New York subway or something. Tracking device. Yeah, pretty bad. Pretty bad. So RIP Kajikuk.

But can we have some money for the phone bill? Yeah. Well, that's the thing. Did they catch the guy? Yeah, they did. But there was nothing they could do about it. They just got it back so he couldn't rock up anymore. They cancelled it as well.

Right, okay. But yeah, these scientists were just really curious as to who was using it. So they, I don't know, used what little money they had left in their science budget to go down and catch them. Get their SIM card back even though they could have cancelled it from home. So today's fact of the day is a stork ended up with a $3,800 phone bill. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. RIP to Karl Lagerfeld He passed away at the age of 85 Old guy, white ponytail

Weird clothes Okay Wow But a fashion icon to me again and many people. Artistic director of Chanel, previously Fendi, like one of the greatest designers of our time, passed away age 85. But if you didn't know, if you don't know about him,

you probably don't know that he's got a very famous cat called Choupette, who I dressed up as on Halloween. That's right. Well, it's great because now people know what you dressed up as on Halloween. You and Andrew. Andrew was it's great because now people know what you dressed up as on Halloween. Yeah. Andrew was Karl Lagerfeld. They just thought you were a sexy cat.

No. So he's worth $273 million. Everyone's like, well, where's his fortune going to go to? Because he was single? Yeah, I think so. Right. I believe so. Okay.

Yeah, but he has a godson and he also has Choupette, who is apparently going to inherit some of his millions. Because the cat was already worth millions, right? Yeah. So if you're thinking, well, what's a cat going to do with this money? She has bills to pay. Let me tell you what she needs to pay for now. She has two maids, and I know about these maids

because one of them runs her Instagram account. That's the Instagram account that tagged me in. Remember when I Yeah, you got the finest site in the show. So she has two personal maids

and they don't leave her alone. So when Chupette sleeps, someone has to be there because she doesn't sleep alone. She needs someone to watch over her. She owns an iPad because she doesn't like

traditional cat toys. She plays games and things on her iPad. You can do the chase the mice game and fish games. Choupette, Karl Lagerfeld's cat, eats at the dinner table. He treats the cat as his equal so she would

have her own dinner beside him and she would have like a croquette, pate and a water bowl. Right. And she sits at the dinner table. She's eating better than me, this cat. Yeah. So I mentioned the Instagram account.

Choupette has 200 and something thousand followers. So they have to document everything that the cat does in a day and report back to, or did report back to Karl Lagerfeld with the cat's actions and made sure that she was being looked after. Okay. We're down some followers this week, Carl. Sorry, we'll get it up tomorrow.

Social media reporting. Yeah. So this is in 2015. Chupette was reported as the most famous and richest cat in the world. After making $3 million, she did a campaign for a German car company and a Japanese beauty product.

So influencer, hashtag ad. Then she gets Christmas presents as well. He obviously spoiled her over Christmas, but she would get like holidays. She gets given like special treats. She eats like special dishes, Japanese style beef or chicken gelee with asparagus on Christmas Day. She gets weekly manicures and she has three names. So her name is Choupette, casually, Princess Choupette or Miss Choupette. And now it's about to inherit a lot of his money.

What? Some of the $273 million? No. That is so much money for a cat, for anyone. Yeah. I like how French is like, oh, God. But if you die and you have a cat at the time, your cat will be your main inheritor.

He's like, yeah, I'm not going to give it to some person, am I? And it's not going to be $273 million, the $20 that he has on him at the time. Yes. Here you go, kitty. Exactly. Saw this on Reddit last night, as I'm not a member of the Family First Facebook page. I didn't see this post when it went up at the very end of last

year. They're always moaning about stuff, eh? Being a bit too full on. Just always whinging, eh? It's actually their tagline. Family First, we're always moaning about stuff that we find a bit full on. Oh, and we're a bit full on. Yeah, they are always full on. We're always moaning about stuff and we're a bit full on. Yeah, it's just like, calm down.

Very conservative. Yes. Would you call them a lobby group? Yeah. They're often saying a parliament. I don't think they'd approve of any of our lifestyles. Oh, heavens, especially. Well, Megan, yeah, Megan, you, before you got married, you did it.

Yeah. She's a toy boy and you've been married before, yeah. Pre-marital sex. Well, you're not married. I know. I'd be going straight to the burning gates of hell. They'd probably approve of me. I'm very rarely even engaging in sexual activity anymore.

I've got children. I'm married. Some of the stuff that comes out of your mouth, they would not approve. No, you're engaging in sexual activity with yourself. Some of the stuff that goes into yours would be problematic. Everybody. I wasn't talking to you.

I was just saying. Yeah, right. So this popped up on their Facebook page. December 29. Let me read you the Facebook status. Investigators required. Oh, okay. We want to research whether public places that offer free Wi-Fi,

parentheses or brackets then pop up, McDonald's, public libraries, cafes, airports, shopping centres, etc., close brackets, Unblocking porn websites. We've done some polling on the issue and there is strong support for businesses to block anything pornographic. But are they? Today or tomorrow, if you use

free Wi-Fi somewhere, can you check? Like, can you just, what do you search? Go to McDonald's and search boobies or something. What do you do? I guess you go to McDonald's and you like, straight, you're just, what do you search? Go to McDonald's and search boobies or something. What do you do? I guess you go to McDonald's and you're like, you're like Pornhub and your Christian wife's like, how do you know where to go, Trevor? And then you have a full-blown argument in the middle of McDonald's or in the public library, you're just straight on RedTube.

I'm not sure. I'm just making up these names. Are these names like? I actually remember a while back, and it might have been a while ago when McDonald's first did free Wi-Fi, and this is either overseas or New Zealand, there was backlash because there were some gay or lesbian sites that weren't porn sites, but they were blocked. Oh, just like...

Or even maybe even dating apps. Right. Like Tinder and Grindr and stuff, and people were like, well, why are you blocking those? Right, right. So I don't know what is and isn't blocked. There's the same websites for heterosexual people that aren't blocked. Exactly, yeah.

Well, they ask today or tomorrow if you use free Wi-Fi somewhere, can you check for porn? Then again, brackets pop up, don't stay on the objectionable site for too long. And then this emoji, that whole awkward. So just see whether or not it's blocked. Please comment below with your findings

Or direct message us with the area And the name of the business We want to see if they're blocking this in general They're going out of their way to do what they don't want People to do in places where they don't Want people to do it or be able to do it To check that no one else can do it Nobody is going to a fast food outlet

And playing with themselves in the corner And if they are they do need't need the free Wi-Fi. They'll do that regardless. If you're the sort of person that's going to play with your genitals in McDonald's, Wi-Fi or not, be damned, you'll do it. You'll do it. Libraries, probably better.

Quieter. Less traffic. I never saw a press release or a news story about this. Nah, neither. So do you think it just didn't take off? I haven't been to the Facebook page because you have to scroll back so far to find this. Nah, neither. So do you think it just didn't take off? I haven't been to the Facebook page because you have to scroll back so far to find them. Yeah, right.

And also people's partners are going to look at that Facebook page and see comments of Trevor who's... Oh yeah, just happened to be at McDonald's, decided to look up porn. So straight porn, not blocked. Gay porn, not blocked. Went into some real weird stuff. Step siblings, yeah, again, not blocked.

How do you know these sites, Trevor? Full, yeah, full. And, you know, full-blown research. Here's some screen caps. I'll chuck those in the comments section for everybody else. Yeah, so, I mean, no word if they are or not. And again, like, it hadn't even popped into my head and now it is. Yeah, I know.

But anyway. What is? That people would go there to use the Wi-Fi for that nefarious purpose. I mean, it probably crossed my mind at some stage. The internet is synonymous with it. ZDM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. For more, catch them every weekday from 6.

ZDM.