ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Megan Podcast - February 28 2019

Episode Date: February 27, 2019

Megan helped a baby boomer yesterday, Never Have I Ever and what are the passive aggressive notes your flatmates leaves you?See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Welcome one, welcome all to the Fletchvorn and Megan podcast brought to you by Spark. Get four gigs of bonus data on Spark's $49 prepaid value pack. Now, on with the podcast. It's on. ZM's Fletchvorn and Megan. Thanks, Anya. Good morning. Welcome to the show, Fletchvorn and Megan. Good morning. Now, there's fires in Nelson, Megan, close, I believe,

to the nudie park that your mum and dad belong to. Mum and dad's caravan was on standby. They'd have to race up there. Anya had a very good question. Do they have to wear clothes when they run in there to rescue the caravan? No, I mean, it's optional. You can rescue your caravan from flames naked or wearing clothes. Right.

At that point. Because the rules are, while you're in the park, no clothes. No clothes. But if you're evacuating from a fire, we'll break the rules for that. You can wear clothes, yeah. Or if you're doing any sort of rescue operation, clothes can be put on. Because you wouldn't want, if your caravan was being lit by flames

as you ran in and hooked it onto the tow bar to pull it out and get your stuff out. You'd sizzle all your body hair if you weren't wearing clothes. Yeah. But then that's a quick way to get that gone. Yeah. So what was the latest with that? It's been contained.

It's been contained. Because seeing that in the news yesterday, you were just like, oh, God, not again. Not again. Yeah. F.E.M. All right, you lot, listen up. It's story time. All right, three news headlines for story time.

Vaughn and Megan pick one of the following three headlines. Headline one, wedding crashes sequel. I think I know that one. Okay. Headline two, big problem for Royal Navy. And headline three, machine takes another job. So the wedding crash is one. That's when someone obviously crashed the wedding

and took all the gifts from the gift table. Yes. When did this happen? In America. That's terrible. They're all just sitting there though. They're always sitting there, aren't they? Yeah, and that

if you're just doing the money thing, like the wishing well or the treasure chest. Well, yeah, there could be thousands of dollars in that. And you can just pick up that box and walk out. And skedaddle away. And you'd be looking like, oh, that might just be someone's cousin. I don't know who that is.

There's easily people at weddings you don't know. Unless it's your wedding. Oh, yeah. Then you should know. Unless it's one of those ones where your family takes over and starts inviting people that you don't know just because they put some money towards it so they

allocated so many guests. Well, this was at a hotel in America and I'm guessing somebody just, it was quite opportunistic. Right. Yeah, right. They just walked into the area. They were in a suit by the looks of it. Oh.

So there's security footage, is there? Yeah, no, they've got images of the guy. Right. They have yet to catch him. Right. So that's done. Problems with the Royal Navy? Would you like that one?

Would you like that one? Yeah, I think so. This is in the UK where there is problems with the Royal Navy. They've called them Chub Marines because there is a recommendation to make the holes,

the escape hatches in submarines larger for the expanding waistlines of those in the Royal Navy sailors. I don't know if they're talking about, you know, the new recruits, probably the Navy, the veterans have been there for a while, you know. Ouch, though. Regardless. You need to stay fit to be a Marine. Well, I don't know.

You know, sometimes you see some police officers and you're like, okay, you're obviously not chasing the crims. You're probably more in the office. Ouch. Or they might have a real short burst so they can just run really fast for 10 seconds to get them down but they don't look like endurance machines.

Well this is a consultant, a surgeon he's been consulting not just the Royal Navy but also other parts of the military in the UK and apparently not just the Navy but they've had to modify ejector seats in fighter planes because of heavier pilots.

Oh, my God. Why aren't these people just losing weight? That's got to be easier. Like, whenever you hear about submarines or a plane crash, it's like, oh, it was a $2 billion plane. Surely it's cheaper to just get people to lose weight than it is to have to redo a whole ejector seat. Yeah, I don't know.

Not if everybody's fat. You've got to modify the equipment, don't you? And then you're tasked with telling them good luck with that. It's enabling it. If you've not seen the movie WALL-E, they just let humans get fatter and fatter and fatter. We've got to reverse our behaviours when we need bigger holes to get out of submarines. This should be our wake-up call, guys. I want to tell you something, but I'm going to need that

thing we had made when we talk about something slightly adult-rated. Oh, right, Dirty Break. Yep. Dirty break. Yeah. Dirty break. It's almost like just a little warning. We can get away with things earlier in the show. Yeah. Then we can later when kids are, yeah. You don't want to have to explain things to you.

So yesterday I opened up the gram. Okay. And in the top right hand corner it said I had mail. So I click on mail and there was a message in there, a direct message, a DM, but it was pretty standard. But then I see up in the top right-hand corner of that page, it says I have requests. Now that's, I believe, when you get a message from someone that you are otherwise not connected with. Yeah, they're not your friends so they can't just slide straight into the DMs. Yeah.

They've got to be filtered. Yeah. And I go into there and there's a message so I click on it and then it pops up on the screen saying you don't know this person. So the message they're sending, this image is blurred to protect you from unwanted content

Uh oh I'm always like Now this is just what happens when anyone you're not friends with Who has to request to send you a message Sends you anything This could be a screenshot It could be a picture of a cat It could be a picture of their food It could be a lovely. It could be a picture of a cat. It could be a picture of their food.

It could be a lovely vista of somewhere they're at. I'm guessing you've requested the Dirty Break intro, not for a picture of a cat. And it said, you are such a daddy. Now, I'm away at the moment, but my initial thought was, I am a father. I've got two daughters. You are a daddy.

My absolute favorites. I am a daddy. So I'm like, maybe this is some dad-related content. Okay. Oh, my God. So I'm like, great, this is going to be good. And I click on it. And I guess it is dad-related because dads have penises.

And it was my first dick pic. I don't know what to do now. You don't know what to do? Do you reply? You clicked on the image and unblood it. I clicked on it and it unblood

but I didn't accept because then you can go allow or decline the message. Oh, okay, right. So I declined the message. Was it a... Does that show them that I have seen? No, I don't think so, no.

Was it out of 10? Was it a good one? I don't know what makes it good. I've only really had in-depth experience with my own. Right. Show Megan. She'll give it an out of 10. Can you show me?

It made me feel better about my own, to be honest. Oh, hold on. You're about... Hold on, I've got to hold that in the camera. Because I'm not in the same studio. Hold on, I've got to see where it is. There it is. I feel like it's too early.

It's five o'clock somewhere. Luckily, we're on radio. How are we concerned about the colour? What's wrong with the colour? What do you mean? It's hard to see on the monitor. Oh, yeah, right. Do you want me to send this to your fletch?

No, no, it's fine, Vought. You can see it on your own screen. You don't want it? It's fine. No, it's fine. Okay. Is it? It's quite red. Do you know?

That's why this is your concern. I've identified something in this picture that I guess I've questioned myself. Right. But I've never really asked. When you trim or shave your pubes or like wax, but on guys, the hair continues down the leg. Yeah. Where do you stop? What's the deal there?

Do you give yourself a fresh fade or? Yeah, you've got to fresh fade it in, don't you? You do have to fade it in because you can't make an abrupt stop. Yeah. And then if you're shaving and you actually just start shaving down the leg, where do you stop down there? You can just like trim and then ease off the trimming. Trim there, so like a fade.

Right, okay. That's effectively like a fade. Fade from nothing to something or something to nothing. Well, there you go. If you're going to send Vaughn a DP. No, no, no, that was enough. Well, just expect a brutal on-air rating of it. Really.

No, no. I don't want. Don't even encourage that. I just checked to make sure it wasn't like a show DP. I didn't get it. You didn't get it? Nah. I don't want to sound sad or happy about that.

Or that you've missed out on something. But I've seen it now, so that's okay. And I don't want to be rude, but maybe if they're sending it to me, they're not like, you're not what they're after. Because you're not a daddy. That's fair enough. You're not a daddy.

They might be very daddy specific. Fine. I don't know. But that's a term that's not in reference to me being a father. You can be daddy without being a father. Yeah, you can. That's correct term that's not in reference to me being a father. You can be daddy without being a father. Yeah, that's correct, Bourne. Right, it's interesting, but confusing. We might be getting a very annoying FBOS machine in New Zealand.

You know when, actually at the airport, when you go through some airports, it has that little red face, light green face, darker green face. And it's like, how was our service? Rate us out of happiness. And you whack it. You whack it as you go past. You whack. I always make sure I do it in good and bad because Fletch always whacks it when he's had a bad experience. But the other day when it was great and there was no cue, Fletch, you didn't hit green. Well, I wanted to get coffee. I don't have time for these stupid surveys.

Well, it's funny you should say that because you might have to have time for a stupid survey on your F-Pos machine now. Boo! So this is a company that is called True Rating. They have done this in other countries and they actually did a trial period in New Zealand end of last year. And it seems like, I haven't actually shopped at any of these stores recently, but it seems like a handful of New Zealand stores have put this on. Katmanto, New Balance, Bendon and Nike. So when you purchase something, it asks you to rate your store experience from zero to nine on the Airpods.

You're literally in there, you might be in there five minutes, you find some shoes you like, you buy them. Who cares? Yeah, I don't want to answer questions. I just want to get out of there. It's like when you go to some of the restaurants, especially in the tourist areas in New Zealand, have the ad tip and it really throws you.

It's just like... They're always watching! But sometimes when they can tell you're a Kiwi, they just like press no for you. They're like, oh, yeah. You're not paying me anything. Don't worry about it. But then sometimes it depends on the kind of restaurant too

because if it's a restaurant where a lot's explained, I don't mind giving a tip if the service is great and like they tell you heaps of stuff about the food. I've actually, I've tipped before and Sade was like, what, did you just tip? Not because she didn't want me to tip, but she just thought it was most unusual that I did. Yeah, right.

I tipped once at a really nice restaurant because I really liked it. But it's not a thing that I do all the time. I tipped for the first time when I saw that on the EFTPOS machine. I was like, oh my God. Oh my God, I have to do this. Otherwise, like, I don't know, someone is going to tell on me or something. Do you panic

because you're like, well, how much is it? Yeah, because I'm not good at maths. If I do travel, I use the tip calculator app, and then you know how much to tip. Otherwise, I tip too much or too little, because I'm bad at maths. But in New Zealand, I think it's just like token. $2. You just make

a token gesture. So hopefully with this thing, if they see Fletch coming along, maybe they can rate your demeanour and be like, he's an angry man and they'll press no for you. I'll buy it online. I'll buy it on Amazon if these local retailers are going to muck around like this. So it's interesting though because the reason they're doing it is they get a whole bunch of insights from this. For example.

What kind of insights? For example. This gets me so angry. Does it? I had no idea. So the kind of insights I've got from this actual survey is that people on average spend 20% more if they are greeted by staff on entry into a store. So you know how people are like, hi, how's your day going?

You're like, good, thank you. You don't actually care. But apparently, if you're greeted, you spend 20% more in the store. That's just a mum... See, I treat it much like an Uber. Like, I'll give five stars if they don't talk. Right.

And they know that people are happier shopping on Wednesdays. Oh, really? Because I guess this is, you're halfway through, it's all downhill from here. And a lot of people get paid midweek. Is that a thing?

Or maybe not. Who's shopping on Wednesdays? I don't know. Apparently a lot of people would. What? You mean like retail shopping? Like I'm super into shopping. I'm not going shopping on Wednesdays.

What days does your wife go to Kmart? All the days. But you don't ever go retail shopping. So how would you know what's a good day for it? Wednesday just seems like an insane day to go shopping. Would you like to stick to the weekends? These people don't got jobs. Yeah, but have you been to a mall on a Saturday?

Oh, no. Horrible. You're actually right. There's no good time for me to go there. There's too many outside factors. What else does it teach them? Just all of the above. That they're happy on Wednesday. Yeah, I'm sure. With the greeting, I like to be greeted,

and my favorite phrase is, hi, hey, if you need help with anything, just let me know. Yeah, then they walk away. Yeah, leave me alone, and I totally will if I need help, but otherwise, yeah. And I like when you walk out of a store, and you haven't bought anything, and they're like, hey, thanks. And I'm like, ha, I've done nothing.

From the ZM Think Tank, this is the Top Six. Welcome to today's Top Six. Hugh Jackman was in New Zealand yesterday. I don't know if he was in and out in one day, but he really, he did some great media saturation when he got here. He was everywhere. You couldn't avoid the Jackman online yesterday. He posted on his Instagram. He said he's in Auckland. He must have been staying down just over the road at the Sky City Grand. Because that's where a lot of them stay, isn't it?

Yeah, and we put a photo up of Auckland. It was like the alleyway between the casino and some restaurants. Yeah, Fed Street. Yeah, Fed Street. A weird sort of usually you'd get the Sky Tower in or like the waterfront or something. He's like, hey, Auckland, you guys eating here? There's poutine.

And we're all like, yes, poutine. At least I could have lime scooted down to the Viaduct, but no lime scooters. Oh, yeah. It would have been a nicer view. It would have been, yeah, but as you say, he probably went out there, but they were... Are they still on the streets, the lime scooters? No.

Are they just locked up? No. Still locked up. Still waiting. But they're out there, right? No. No, they're not there. They're in their warehouse.

Oh, they've got to be taking them off the streets. Oh, okay. It's a lonely walk to work, I'll tell you, Vaughan. No lime scooters. Hugh didn't get to go on the Lime Scooter, but maybe if they sort their stuff out, when he comes back to New Zealand for the Man, the Music, the Show, which is the Hugh Jackman stage show,

he might be able to have a Lime Scooter then. That'd be nice. But yesterday he was welcomed and there was an emotional hucka and then he had some words. He was very emotionally moved by it. And every night I lie in bed, the brightest colors fill my head. A billion dreams are keeping me awake. So he came out and surprised some students. Yeah, and he sang with them.

Yeah, that song from The Greatest Showman, which is a very emotionally moving movie. You love it. I do. It's so good. The soundtrack's pretty good. So the top six songs I want to hear at Hugh Jackman's concert when he comes back. Number six, I Am Wolverine.

I haven't written the song yet, but I'll write it for him. They'll be like, I'm Wolverine. I'm older than you'd think. Got knives in my knuckles. And yeah, that would be good to have that in the background. Yeah, there could be some ch-ch-ch-ch. Like the knife sounds. Ching, ching, ching, ching, ching, ching.

Ching, ching. Healing factor through the roof. I've even got a slightly sharp tooth I'm Wolverine I'm Wolverine All great stuff, Vaughn. All great stuff. Yep, that's just in motion.

I'm just going to get that written and I'll get some music put to it. It'll be great. It'll be ready. Number five on the list of the top six songs I want to hear at Hugh Jackman's concert. I Am Wolverine, The Reprise. That's where they finish singing a song

and then something happens and then they sing a little bit more of the song. Oh, like a little tease. Yeah, all the great, all the great movies have reprises, songs. It's like Moana, she revisited the I Am Moana situation. There you've got

Frozen, the Let It Go reprise. That was pretty important. Wait a minute, was it Let It Go reprise. Yeah. That was pretty important. Wait a minute, was it Let It Go or was it the other one? Regardless, there was a reprise in there. Most of the good ones have a reprise. The greatest showman has a reprise. It does, of the Million Dreams, right? Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, because his daughter sings it when they're poor. He's like, I'm going to do it. Leading us nicely on to number four on the top six songs I would like to hear at the Hugh Jackman concert. A song that tells the truth about P.T. Barnum. Now, that's the character that Hugh Jackman plays in The Greatest Showman. And when you watch it, you're like, great guy. And then you read about P.T. Barnum in real life and you're like, monster. Bad man.

I wish you'd never told me about him. Yeah. Slave trader. Yeah. He basically, people who were different or had disabilities that he found entertaining, he put them into the circus and then just like traded them around to different circuses like they were not humans. Like trading cards.

Wasn't he awful to his wife too? Yeah. Well, his wife, who's played by Michelle Williams in the movie, what the movie didn't cover was when he would go to England on jaunts for business and was romantically involved with his friend's daughter. And then his wife got sick. She died. Two days later, he was married to the other woman. So, yeah, is that.

Interesting character. Number three on the list of the top six songs I want to hear at the Hugh Jackman concert. I want him to sing a song about being a magician because do you remember he was in that really good magician movie with Christian Bale? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, I love that movie.

You know, Christopher Nolan wrote that and in my mind, Christopher Nolan can do no wrong. I'm just, I can't remember what that movie's called. I thought I had it written down. The Illusionist. The Magician. The Prestige. No, The Prestige.

The Prestige. There was a real mid-2000s buzz for Magician movies, because The Illusionist was the other one that came out. Yeah. In my mind, not as good as The Prestige. The Prestige was better. Yeah. I can't remember how it ended.

I can, but it's the spoiler alert. Yeah, I'm not going to say I can't better. Yeah. I can't remember how it ended. I can, but it's the spoiler alert. Yeah, I'm not going to say I can. Yeah. Number two on the list of the top six songs I want to hear at Hugh Jackman's concert is Come to Gungwana. This is an advertorial song Hugh will write for his yoga retreat in Australia. Have you guys heard of Gungwana? No, I didn't know he had a yoga retreat.

It's a lifestyle retreat. Okay. The Gungwana. I'm just looking here at the Seven Night Gungana Detox. It is the Rolls Royce of health retreats. There's a whole bunch of stuff in there, and it could be yours. There's openings, actually, if you want to make a reservation. And for a week, it will only cost you a cool $3,500.

Jeez. Oh, my God. Wow. That's the cheapest option. Is he going to be there, though? Because I don't want to go if he's not there. He might be. I think he does the welcome video,

the orientation video when he first arrived. And number one in the top six songs I want to hear at Hugh Jackman's concert when he comes back to New Zealand later this year, a song about his love for Ryan Reynolds. And maybe even a cameo by Ryan Reynolds himself in that song. That'd be lovely. Buy a video Skype or something. That'd be really great.

That is today's top six. Fletch, Vaughn and Megan. The podcast. That'd be lovely. Buy a video Skype or something. That'd be really great. That is today's top six. Fletch, Vaughn and Megan. The podcast. The royal baby is due when? When would you say? April. So not too far away?

No, yeah. We would only be weeks away from that baby. She's had her baby shower. It's all ready to go. Now, you loved a little flutter. Did you used to place bets for your granddad, Vaughn? Yeah. So you know a bit about odds, eh? Yeah, yeah.

We used to go up to the, well, occasionally on the phone line where you could ring up the tab or at the actual race course, he'd send us up, which would be illegal, I think, but this was the 90s, so I don't know. It was a looser time. They worried about too much. So you can bet in the UK on a whole lot of different things, novelty betting. And there are bets for the next baby name, the next royal baby. So Meghan and Harry's baby, you'd expect them to be like a little less like Mary and Louis and Victoria because it's not going to be a queen.

It's not in line for the throne. It might not even get like her royal highness, right? Right. So you could do a Shaniqua and no one's going to bat an eyelid. Yeah. Eyelids will definitely be back. Don't know about Shaniqua. So when it's 13 to 1, what does that mean, Vaughan, for a name?

So, for example, Alice is 13 to 1 for the next royal baby name. Does that mean for every dollar you bet, you get 13 back? Is that right, James? Yeah, I believe so. James, you love a little flutter every now and again. Is that correct? Oh, yeah. 13 to 1.

I have been told to. Yep. Told to. You know, that's the thing. If you bet $2, then say you get 7 in return if it's 7 to 2. All right, so 13 to one. You'd get $13 back for every $1. For every $1, so you make $14.

This gambling seems easy. That's great money. That is great money. When you're winning, yeah. Yeah. So the royal baby names, we'll just go through some of these. Alice, 13 to one. Diana, 14 to one.

Oh, yes, please. Victoria, 14 to 1. Oh, yes, please. Victoria, 14 to 1. That's a traditional one, isn't it? Arthur is 16 to 1. I quite like Arthur, actually. That's cute. Rachel, 20 to 1. Rachel?

Only on a couple. Oh, because she was Rachel on Suits. Oh, yeah, of course. But only a couple of betting sites have that option because it actually links through to all these. James, 14 to 1. In fact, it actually goes through and lists on different websites. There are literally like 30 on my screen that you can gamble on.

Oh, my God. Not that this is a problem or that I'm encouraging it. But, yeah, Elizabeth, about 16 to 1 on most of these sites. Edward, about the same, 16 to 14 to 1. Grace, Grace is 25 to 1. Harriet, 33 to 1. Has it been like a Princess Grace? I feel like Grace could be a good one.

Oh, Princess Cecilia, 33 to 1. Okay. Phillip, Phillip is 10 to 1. They're not going to call it Phillip, are they? I don't know. I always hope one of them is going to get just They're not going to call it Philip, are they? I don't know. I always hope one of them is going to get just a little bit more imaginative. There are a lot of names on this list, but I'll just pick some ones that stand out. 50 to 1, Adam.

Couldn't imagine a Prince Adam. Could you imagine a Prince Adam? What Disney princess was Prince Adam? There has been a Prince Adam. Really? Okay. Oh, that's what He-Man's name was. Could you imagine a Prince Sebastian?

66 to 1. Those odds. Michael is 101. 100 to 1. I thought that would be better. Yeah. Better odds. I'm just trying to find it.

There are really... Tyrone. Prince Tyrone. 100 to 1. Oh my God, Tyrone, yes. Or some websites have that at 175 to 1 for Prince Tyrone. I can't imagine that. It's a long shot.

It's a long shot for Ty at this stage. But they have all kinds of things you can vote on, like the next James Bond, Idris Elba's 4 to 1. Cillian Murphy. Murphy, he'd be a good Bond, eh, do you reckon? He would be a good Bond He'd be great 2 to 1

Tom Hardy's 5 to 1 Henry Cavill 14 to 1 I'm a big fan of Henry Cavill I'd like to see him being Bond No Cillian Murphy's I've just googled him He's a bad guy

Emily Blunt He does play a great bad guy Emily Blunt's 50 to 1 If they're going to switch it up And change genders Go female Yeah okay You can even bet on The Kim Kardashian Kanye next baby.

Right. Jesus or Jesus is at 20 to 1. Robert is at 8 to 1, but that was her dad's name, right? Yes. Yeah. So that might not be too far out. But yeah, Weezy is 250 to 1. Yeezy, 250 to 1.

Just hope he doesn't get asthma. Yeah. Also 300 to 1 odds of Miami, California, London, Drake, Barack, Milan, and John. And Brian. Brian. She has admitted that she likes single syllable names. That's why she calls Chicago shy.

And then all the others are single syllable. Right. Favourite to play the next James Bond out of everyone on the list, Jake Gyllenhaal. Could you mention him as James Bond? No, he can't be. He's not British. No, sorry.

Batman, the next Batman. Oh, I could imagine him being Batman, actually. They do? But he's going to be the villain in the next Spider-Man movie. So I don't know if you can do that quick a turnaround. Did you say Henry Cavill? As in Superman? No, no. He said Jake Gyllenhaal.

Oh, Jake Gyllenhaal. Yeah, this is for Batman. Jake Gyllenhaal would make a good Batman. That would be good. God, if I was going to be the next Batman or James Bond, I'd just place a cheeky bet on me if I started to know. Is that allowed? Is that insider trading?

It definitely falls under the fraud umbrella in some manner. started to know. Is that allowed? Is that insider trading? Yeah, it was. It's definitely, it falls under the fraud umbrella in some manner. I've got a question and I was wondering if someone in the, what do you call the industry that looks after hotels?

It's not hospitality, is it? I think it is, isn't it? Isn't it fall under the umbrella? But then like hospitality is like restaurants as well, eh? Yeah. Yeah. So I don't know.

Maybe just the accommodation industry. The accommodation industry? Yeah. I've noticed, because I've been on the road this week, that hotels don't always have toilet brushes. Oh my God, this happened to me on Friday night, last Friday at a hotel I don't want to go into detail

but I knitted a toilet brush I think without going into detail we all know why one would need a toilet brush Here's why this problem arises, is because you go and you do your business as every human does

if we are intaking, we are outputting, if you will. Yes, that's a lovely way of putting it. And I had some output and it was nothing other than very standard, very normal output. However,

the signs left behind afterwards would indicate somebody may have died there. Okay. You were doing so well. And I was like, yikes. That was really classy up until then. It was dancing around quite a disgusting subject.

This is, I've still not said the P word. The porcelain must be very, almost adhesive. And I freaked out. And I was like, I better get the toilet brush. where porcelain must be very, almost adhesive, grippy. And I freaked out. And I was like, whoa, I better get the toilet brush. I don't want my name associated with this. Because this is the case at work. If we go into the bathrooms and there's skids, I'm like,

when you're a kid, sure, I kind of get it. Maybe you're not aware of the social norms. But when you're an adult, what in God's name is going through your mind when you don't check after you use a toilet that other people use? Yeah. And you're literally just going to be like, someone else can clean that up for me. Yeah.

Gross. Well, they've been listening even at a hotel. Even if you're not sharing a room, I don't want the cleaners to come in and have to deal with that. No. Exactly. Especially if you're doing a multi-night stay and then they see it and then the next day they're like, watch for who's coming out of that room because,

they're grim. Yeah. But that's the thing, there's no brush to clean it up so you literally can't. You can't clean it up. I mean, unless you're going to scrunch up some paper and try to, but then you're not going to go near that. I tried that but I couldn't get under the water line.

Oh, okay, right. And you don't want to flush 400 times because then you're undoing all the good work rehanging up your towel. I even tried doing the thing, now I don't know if you know about this Megan because I remember telling

my wife about this a while back and she was like, what? Maybe it's a secret of males, but if there is remnants, we can use our advanced aiming technique using urine to give it a bit of a water blasting, if you will.

It's a fun game almost, isn't it? If you've already done number twos, you can't then... You have to recharge and come back later. You drink a lot of water and hopefully you come back with a bit of pressure. you can't then... You have to recharge and come back later. You go out and you drink a lot of water and hopefully you come back with a bit of pressure. That wouldn't even solve the situation.

But do you think it's because they don't want another guest coming into a room that's spotless and clean and they pick up the brush and that's got a little bit of poopies on it. Funky poopies on it? Do you think that's it? Some people would find that gross, but I think it's you think that Yeah that's a good point actually Some people find Would find that gross

But I think it's grosser That the cleaner Has to come in And see that And then Yeah You know like They can go into

I'm imagining they have They would know someone With access to the hotel computer And they were like Put a question mark Beside that person's name For future stays Cause

I don't know if they're Going to blacklist you For skitties on the toilet But this is where my mind goes When there's skitties I don't I don't like it they're going to blacklist you for skiddies on the toilet. But this is where my mind goes when there's skids. I don't like it. But maybe someone in the industry can message him because it's done my head in before. Why don't hotels have toilet brushes?

Because it's not like you're staying at like a povo hotel, is it? No. I think the lower end places, they are more likely to have a toilet brush. Like a motel. Yeah. The nicer you get, the less likely the toilet brush is to be there. And maybe it's because they're unsightly. Yeah.

But so handy. I just did a quick Google and it literally just says because they don't want the guests to worry about that. It makes me worry more. It makes me worry more too. Even if you're staying alone in the room, you're just like, no, I can't have this. Well, especially if you're staying with someone in the room, the cleaner's not going to get there before the other person has to go to the toilet. And you're like, I'm sorry, there's no brush. Just tell Mr.

Toyboy to wait till he uses the toilet. But then if you're staying with someone in a hotel and I travelled with my friend Morgan for four weeks. We had a rule where if you needed to do number twos, you had to go to the lobby toilet. Did you actually honour that 100% of the time? Yeah, lobby. Lobby poo, as we called it. What if you were a bit tipsy or something? Oh, I mean, if it was two in the morning and you needed to go, of course. But the rule was in the lobby.

I've got bigger questions if you wake up at two in the morning and need a poo. You've never done that after you've been drinking. It's so distressing. It's so distressing to need to go to the, need to go poos in the middle of the night. It's only happened to me once and my body went into such shock that it traumatised itself out of ever doing it again. Well maybe you should trip

advise a Vaughan. Somebody just said you line the bowl with toilet paper but I did that but then it did a roly poly on flush and just like What? Okay. Just check your diet then. But then also you're wasting paper. Like you're wasting paper and water. Just get

some brushes. Yeah I don't know. I was honestly I was it was maybe I'm exaggerating. It was enough to make me think maybe I'll pop down to the warehouse and buy a real cheap toilet brush. Oh God, good Lord. And wash it and then just bin the toilet brush.

That's wasteful as well. That's also wasteful. I know, but it was, so I mean like cleaners have to deal with enough stuff in hotel rooms. If I can make their day just slightly nicer. Yeah. I don't know. I just. FEM. I can make their day just slightly nicer. Yeah. I don't know. I just, hmm.

These stats are going to hurt, and they should, because we should be, while people listening may never have done it as a country, this is a really embarrassing stat. It's horrible. I read it. I was like, that cannot be right. But then it's been officially recorded, and these are only the ones that are reported. But a little bit of a back story. Last year in December, there was a bit of a change to the Family Violence Act, sorry, is what happened.

The Amendment Act replaced the Domestic Violence Act. And under this change, strangulation or suffocation became its own, you could prosecute somebody on strangling, it became separate, if you will, to domestic violence. So because apparently strangulation or suffocation is the most prevalent form of physical domestic violence. So it became chargeable under its own, you know, if it was just that. And hard to prove because suffocation includes just covering someone's mouth and nose, which could leave absolutely no bruise or anything and apparently happens.

So this is crazy. The New Zealand Family and Intimate Partner Violence, there is a police call every four minutes. Oh, my God. So it is a criminal offence now, strangulation and suffocation, meaning people can be charged and they will be treated as assault under this. Here's the disgusting thing. Since this came in on December 3rd, 416 people have been charged under this specific violent act.

So not even a whole three months. Nope. Nearly. 33 a week and almost five a day. That is just shameful, isn't it? Isn't that disgusting? To be honest, I've never been, I count myself very lucky to have never been in a family or a home where domestic violence has ever been present. And I hope the majority of people never experience it.

But sadly, I mean, these numbers, it sounds like, you know, a lot of people and people listening right now, people you maybe you've got idea, have witnessed it or have been a victim of it or the perpetrators have got to be out there as well. So, I mean, that's a shocking statistic. It's disgusting that New Zealand has this. The worst rate of family violence in the developed world. Four minutes, as I said before, police are called every four minutes. It's

so sad to know that these, because it's family violence, it's people that you love. And so one minute you're like, this is, you know, one of the most important people in my life. Say it's your partner. And then the next minute they're strangling you

or they're physically abusing you. So whilst to some people it seems so hard to understand how you can go back to someone like that, if you love them and you see the best of them at one moment and then you see the worst in an ex, but then straight afterwards they're apologetic and they're that person you know and love again. Yeah. It would mess with your mind. It messes like with your body, like everything. But I can understand how that would be so hard to get the help and to tell someone and to leave.

Because then you've also got to tell someone that your partner's doing that. Yeah. Therefore, telling all your friends and family, they're just going to absolutely lose respect for them. And you want to believe that they're going to change. But, man, I mean, I've never been in that situation, but I can understand. And physical violence teamed up with psychological abuse.

The whole shebang. The whole thing. It's a really complicated situation and every one would be wildly different. Every situation would be different. But emotional, physical, psychological violence is never ever okay. No.

It shouldn't be done. And that's those strangulation, that change. Did you even know that that was? I knew that the law changed at the end of last year, but I had no idea that strangulation was the most prevalent form of domestic abuse. And as always with those stats, they are the ones that are reported.

That would happen. Exactly. I would hate to think how many times when people would be too scared to even report it. Too scared. They said other factors that mean victims were unable to leave, as well as what you mentioned before, Megan, just being isolated. A lot of people just get isolated away. As you say, they're embarrassed and they want this person to change.

So they just shut down. Lack of funds, being able to find another place to live, and just the fear of, you know, the threats of what is going to happen if they do leave. Right. Well, there are some helplines and some organisations that can help if you're listening to this, and this does affect you.

Shine is a free national helpline. There's a women's refuge, of course, that we know do amazing work. And It's Not Okay, another information line. And one I just learned about reading this article, one called Shakti, which is specialist sort of cultural services for people of African, Asian, and Middle Eastern descent, helping women and their children who are caught up in this sort of situation.

Well, a lot of news articles today about these horrible stats, and you can see those infoline and helpline numbers at the bottom of those articles. We launched a new feature yesterday, and we said that if this does work, we might make an intro. I reckon we make an intro. Okay, because you don't make an intro for something you only do once, because we're too lazy. It's a lot of work.

Yeah, yeah. It's like learning someone's name the first time you sleep with them, eh, Fletch? Like, are they going to be back again? When they come back, you learn their name. Or just not bother. Yeah. Until then, they'll just be a number. So, yesterday we said, shh, they're listening. This is our social experiment to see if indeed your phone is telling Facebook

and other social media outlets what you're talking about in an effort to target advertising towards you. Now, and we said yesterday, they've denied that this is a thing. We're not listening. Mark Zuckerberg in Congress said, no, we don't do that. Fervently denied, didn't they? Fervently denied. Fervently. But it happens

so much and we hear so many stories of people saying, you guys are talking about this, random, I get advertising. We're like, well, we're going to test this. So yesterday we talked about roofing and roof guttering, didn't we? We went very specific on guttering. And we wanted to hear from you.

If you listened to the show, heard us talking a lot about guttering, you had to say a few key phrases out loud as well about guttering. But if you'd not before that had any mention of guttering online or roofing products, we wanted to hear from you if all of a sudden you received some targeted advertising. Yes. Wow. Producer James, you if all of a sudden you received some targeted advertising. Yes. Wow. Producer James, you got one, didn't you?

I got one pretty much, I think even an hour after we were talking about it. It's actually a great video. It's very satisfying of a drainage system that's blocked and he pulls it out and it completely takes all the leaves away. It's a pretty cool video, but yeah, that was like an hour after. And you've never had an ad pop up in your Facebook feed for guttering of any kind? Never, never seen it.

And you hadn't Googled guttering? No. Or anything, okay. Just you guys talking about it. Well, that's one EG. Wow, there's many EGs. Thanks to Lyndall who got in touch and said, I have never searched for a plumber online.

I certainly haven't looked up any form of guttering. And yet today I got targeted advertising from Plumbers, Gasfitters and Drainlayers Board, which was sponsored content, about the dangers of voiding your insurance by not having your gutters up to standard. Oh, my God. That's undeniable. That's very much related. Next, somebody else.

This is Nikita sent in a screen cap that all of a sudden she started getting suggested pages. Roofing Industries. A suggested ad. This is in her Facebook feed. In between an Airbnb ad and another ad, so it popped up as targeted advertising, to like a page that specialised in roofing industries, commercial and industrial roofing situations, solutions. See, that's the thing. If you're like an early 20s female and you're not building a house and you haven't Googled roofing.

Or just bought a house. There's no reason that that would pop up in your feed. No. No. And all of a sudden you say a few key words and it pops up. It's just crazy. So Bradley Clark also messaged in. He said it took all of 14 hours from your segment, I'm trying to see if our smartphones were listening,

to have this ad pop up on my smartphone on Facebook. I have never searched anything to do with roofing or guttering, but look at the sponsored content for Wise Roof Solutions. And it's in conjunction with Colosteel Roofing. You could win, if you're going to be re-roofing or roofing your house before winter, you could win $15,000. Oh, my God. So he said very specific there about roofing that that never had anything to do with.

But it's so easy to do. Like, we're just doing this test now. It's so easily proved. I don't know how they can deny it. Hannah was in touch as well, saying, I don't know if this is targeted advertising as the result of this morning's chat. I have never searched anything related to painting, washing

houses or cleaning guttering, yet I've received targeted advertising from Fletcher Painting. So Fletcher's sold out our listeners to his family with the business. But I said my name at the start of that segment. So they are back doing the houses for yearly washdowns and maintenance, including cleaning out the gutters ahead of the winter season

where rainfall is heavier. It's crazy. Uh-huh. It goes on. Oh, you've got more? Fiona was targeted with the ultimate drain plug. That's to avoid any blockages or any clogged drains. So we talked about the clogging of downspouts.

Okay. And somebody said, after listening to today's segment about iPhones secretly listing in, I legitimately had this pop up. I've never seen it before. And it says, Richard, we understand your privacy is important to you. Your interests and activity influence what ads you see on Facebook.

You can adjust them through your preferences tool. So he said, Facebook heard us talking about Facebook listing and Facebook told him that Facebook are listing, but they can stop him listing to certain things. Oh, my God. All right. Well, I think we've got to run another experiment. I mean, this is exciting, but, you know, you can't test once. You've got to test a few times. Multiple times. So I think we've got to run another experiment. I mean, this is exciting, but, you know, you can't test once.

You've got to test a few times. Multiple times. So I think we've got to bring the segment back. We've got to make an intro. We'll make an intro now because we're doing it more than once. Yeah. And we'll see how Experiment 2 goes. Yes.

And then, like, how many do you think we do before we, you know, take this big? Do we have to, like, do a write-up if we're going to take it to someone or can we outsource the write-up? We'll outsource the write-up. Because I think this is bigger than fair go. Hey, Megan, I'll take care of this outsourcing, the write-up. Listen to this. Heck, man, I'd love someone to make contact with me about writing up something

that I can't be bothered transcribing services. We're joined in studio by special guests from Heartbreak Island, Hannah and Sam. Good morning. Hi. Morning. Is this awkward at all? Very, very, very awkward.

So you guys were told to leave, but what is your take on this? What's the truth? To be honest, absolute truth. Like, I did lie. I did sleep with Hannah before I went on the show. Like, I'm pretty sure it might have been the week before I went on the island, which is, like, you know, not cool. Not a cool thing to do.

But we definitely weren't boyfriend and girlfriend. She didn't drop me at the airport. I might have given the impression. Like, I did know she was going on the show. I might have given the impression that maybe like we were going to couple up together. But then to be fair, once I got there and things happened with Cherise and then moving on with Helen, it was, yeah. Oh, dude. It's a sticky situation.

So before you went on the island, you both knew that you were going to be on the island. Well, I mean, it's a real, like, NZ is so small. We all have the same friends. Like, it was easily going to come out. So, yeah. So is that, do you agree with what Sam said? That's exactly what happened? Yeah.

So, like, we had been hanging out a bit before the island and, like, having little chats here and there. Like, I mean, we did say on the show after mine and P's chat that, no, I didn't actually drop them at the airport, but of course they're not going to put that in. Yeah, right. Just for views and stuff like that.

So the official line was that you were conspiring to win Heartbreak Island in a dishonest way. Do you agree with that? Once I got there, I mean, I wasn't keen to be with Sam. So it had all changed once we actually got on the island. I suppose for me it was a bit different. Like I was there from the get, you know, I was there straight into it.

Man, like you could literally see when I saw Sharice, like, anyone watching could have seen, like, I fell straight, head over heels, and was, like, jaw dropped. And in the back of my mind, I had, oh, yeah, if Hannah comes on, like, I suppose, you know, it'd be an easy way to ride it out with someone. But, nah, like, you're a lovely bird. But, like, we were on there, and I just... Yeah, nah, I, you're a lovely bird. But, like, we were on there and I just, yeah, nah.

Sam, I want to help you, but, yeah. So you say you're into Charisse. What about Helen? Oh, look. I went from being love deprived to having all the options. It was tough. I'm not trying to give you a hard time. I'm just like, do you think it's like a little lesson though

because like you do what you want on there but then you come off and then you realise there's actual people's feelings involved 100% like to be honest

like I'm sorry to you as well like that wasn't cool putting you through the ringer and like you know watching it back

and seeing how upset you were obviously having to see me talk to other girls and that stuff that I said when I was sitting with the boys, like, you know, when boys get together, it's a bit of lads chat. And I'm sorry that you had to overhear that.

And like, that's not who I am. I'm not like a knob all the time. All the time. Part-time knob. Yeah, part-time. Yeah. Like, you know, but yeah, definitely like realize like these girls have feelings. Like I have feelings as well, you know, but I need to be more aware of that.

And like, I guess take it back a bit behind the band to stop having to laugh all the time and actually like think about what I'm doing. Plus, my mom's going to kill me. I always wonder that when I watch these shows. I'm like, what are your parents going to think? It's a real insight. Have your parents said anything? Yeah, I got a phone call.

7am this morning. Oh, so she'd watched it at 6am. Well, because all her workmates have been watching it. Right. So they've been asking mum all these questions. And then mum's like, alright, she watched it. And then she goes, you told me you kissed one girl. What did you do?

And I was like, mum, I'm sorry. There's more than kissing. Have your parents said anything? Yeah, my parents, yeah. Like, I told my mum what had happened after the island, like straight after. I guess she's just, she's a bit taken back. She's a little bit shocked.

She isn't so stoked what she had to hear from some people. But, yeah. Who? Who from some people. But yeah. Who? Who? Who? But yeah, it's all fine now. It's over. It's been a few months.

Like, we're all just sure over it. And what about Sam's apology? Do you accept? Yeah, yeah. I accept it. Like, me and Sam have been friends for years anyway before we started a relationship. And I guess love is blind. Me and Sam have been friends for years anyway before we started a relationship.

And I guess love is blind and I just want to take that whole relationship and just chuck it in the bin. I just want to move on. Sam's like, okay. Fair enough. You do what you gotta do. But yeah. All right.

Well, Hannah and Sam, thanks for coming in. And Heartbreak Island, you can watch it on Demand TVNZ. 6 o'clock, the new episodes come out on Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday. And at 9.30, and it's at 9.30 for a special reason, because it's scandalous, as we're finding out, from 9.30 on Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday. Thanks for coming in, guys. Thank you.

Thank you, guys. Cheers. FEMZM. I did some charity work yesterday. Right. Not that I want to go on about it. Don't, guys. Cheers. FEM. I did some charity work yesterday. Right. Not that I want to go on about it. Don't go on about it. But I helped a boomer.

We give baby boomers a lot of strife, but I don't mind helping someone who needs help. And she was a little bit older, and it did involve some technology, which she hadn't encountered before. But there's the old saying, do something technology for a boomer and you'll be asked to do it 100 times.

Show them how to do it and they'll ask you 5,000 questions for the next 10 times they need to do it. That happened to me on that flight when the old lady didn't know how to work the TV screen and select the movies. Right. So, you know, I helped her.

I set it up and then during the movie she needed to pause and then select another movie and the whole flight was just her encore concierge. The worst person for it. Concierge! I'm ready for my next film. Yeah. So I was having some difficulties of my own.

So yesterday I went to the gym. I felt great coming out of there. I was like like worked hard, was sweating Like ready to go home, get some food Got in my car and The clutch in my car just went To the floor So you know there's supposed to be a little bit of pressure

Are we all floppy? Yeah, no pressure It just wouldn't go into gear And the clutch was like Flop into the floor So I can't I drive a manual and I can't obviously and the clutch was like, ba-dum, ba-dum, ba-dum. Okay. Flop into the floor. Ba-dum, ba-dum, ba-dum. Right. So I can't, I drive a manual and I can't obviously get it into gear

to get home. Yeah. So, RIP my poor Ruby, I had to call a tow truck. For those that don't know Ruby, because we tried to sell this car years ago,

but nobody wanted it. You were asking too much for it, but that's another story. I wasn't asking too much for it. It was market price. It's an MX. Oh $800.00 if you've ever had unrealistic expectations on selling something. And that was years ago too. So obviously it's

worth a lot less now. But it's an MX5. Yeah. It's like a little go-kart. I've been in it several times. It's like you're riding. It's fun but it's like you're in a death trap basically. It's a death trap. I know. I never get. I never get up beside trucks on the motorway. I'm always like, skiddly-D, don't get next to that. Because you could literally ride under it.

Yeah. I'm like, if that big wheel I can see to the right of me just clips me, I'm going under. Yeah. And that's just a tent above me. Anyway, that car needed to be towed. So I'm going through all that drama myself, hooking up the, well I didn't literally hook it up to the tow truck. Someone was doing that for me.

But that's where... It seemed like the tow truck driver was lovely. Oh, I was like, man, it's so lovely when you actually want them to tow your car somewhere. Yeah. He was so lovely. But when you don't want them to tow it, they're the biggest a-holes in the world. Also, he was like, do you know what's wrong

with it? I don't mean to be patronising, but is it something that like, do you know what's wrong with it? I don't mean to be patronising, but is it something that, like, do you know what's wrong with it? I was like, oh, this is a guess. And he's like, yeah, no, it's probably not something I can just fix. So he was actually going to attempt to try and tootle and see if he could, like, fix it, but he couldn't. So while we're going through the palaver of hooking up my car. Palaver.

I haven't heard that word for a palaver. A palaver. Through the bloody palaver. A boomer comes over. Yeah. Or is that who told you the word palaver. I haven't heard that word for a palaver. Through the bloody palaver. A boomer comes over. Yeah. Or is that who told you the word palaver? Yeah. It's fresh in your mind. And was like, do you know how the parking works

here? And I was like, well, you don't need a ticket, but you need to put your number plate in and you get 90 minutes. Free? Free. Oh, okay, right. And she said, where are the ticket machines? And I said, there's one directly over there. I was like, she needs help. I understand there's not signs everywhere.

Right over there, just put your number plate in. She said, do you think you can maybe come over and help me do it? I've never done it before. I was like, I mean, yeah, like my cars. Yep. Okay. Wait, have you stumbled across the rare rural boomer in an urban setting? Because they are a very confused creature, easily flustered, wildly panicked.

You can see it in their eyes. But I kind of side with, because it's quite stressful when you just put your plate in, but you don't get a ticket out or you don't get like a form of that reassurance. Yeah. Because like what if there's a mistake in the machine and they give you a ticket anyway? So I went over and she was like, I just don't even know how this works.

And I was like, okay, well, just type in your number plate in there. No, I said license plate. And she's like, I don't even, what's a license plate? I said, no, no, like your number plate, of which she didn't know her number plate either. So then she had to wander off, find her car, come back, put the number plate in.

Now, I bless her sweetheart. I don't know her number plate either. So then she had to wander off, find her car, come back, put the number plate in. Now, I bless her sweetheart. I don't know why, but when she was typing in her number plate into the machine, she was hiding it from me. Like it was a pin number. She's hiding her number plate where she was typing it, but it was coming up on the big screen

in front of me anyway. So I could see her number plate. And she said, oh, while she's hiding the screen, I can probably take it from here. So I wandered off. And then I get a, oh, you who? Sorry. Sorry.

Now what do I do? So she'd put her number plate out. And I said, oh, you just press okay. You don't need a ticket. Don't worry about emailing it to you unless you want a GST receipt or something. She's like, no. So it was all done. She walked off on her merry way and I was like, oh, charity done for the day. Taught her how to do it.

She sucked. Semi-punishing. Went back because you forget my car's being towed. It's broken. And that's when I hear her, sorry, Megan. Probably 10 minutes later. You gave her your name? Well, when I left, she said, sorry, what was your name her your name well when I left she said

sorry what was your name I said Megan and she said Megan thank you very much you've made my day a lot easier and I was like yes good on me

walked away and then 10 minutes later heard a you heard Megan sorry I just need you to double check because

there was no ticket have I done it right that's why I wanted you with me so you could check that what I was doing was right? That's why I wanted you with me so you could check that what I was doing was right. Wait, how much longer was this after you left her at the machine? 10 minutes, easily. 10 minutes?

I'm wondering. I'm not sure what she'd done in that 10-minute time frame. She might have gone into the mall and then freaked out and then come back wanting that reassurance. She said, because you know I got no ticket. And I said, yeah, you remember when I said you can email like a receipt to your email or because it doesn't actually spit out any kind

of paper, you know, eco-friendly. Okay, no, thank you. I just, it's been playing on my mind. Now I know I definitely am not going to get a parking ticket. I'm like, no, no, you are fine. But she's putting that on you. Like if she does get a ticket, you're responsible. Yeah, but I'd be long gone by then.

I was like, I'm really... I've been defrauded by a young person. Her name was Megan and she lives in Auckland. I was like, I'm just ready to pass this boomer off to be someone else's problem. So I Have Never is a segment we do where we take someone who has never done something and we talk them through it.

We give them the gift of doing it for the very first time. So last week we gave someone their first concert, 660. Yeah. A sold out 50,000 person show. What a first concert to go to. Yeah. We've given someone their first taste of fried chicken. I mean, so they vary.

Yeah, yeah. Hydra slides, we've done a hydra slide. I know. And quite often it is people who have, you know, a few years experience on earth and have just never got around to it. And Frances joins us this morning. Good morning, Frances. Good morning.

All right, so you're 32. Mm-hmm. And you have never... I've never been to the South Island or less the North Island. But that has all changed this morning because you boarded a flight earlier this morning and whereabouts

are you now? I am in Christchurch. Yay! Was it a fine day when you flew over? Could you see the separation between the North and South Islands? I had a bit of a cat nap. What? That was your first time going in?

She's like, no, I'm just going to have a sleep. I've heard it's beautiful, but we've all seen the pictures. Did you have a window seat? No, but there was a space between me, so I kind of was able to look out the window. So I took in the sight, so it was good. Oh, yeah, so you saw a little bit. Yeah.

And what is it like being in the South Island? Well, right now, I feel like I am Tom Hanks from the terminal, because I can't go outside. Right, so you haven't left the terminal. I haven't left the terminal, yeah. Right, okay. But, no, that's lovely. I've actually tried to hide my smile when I walk past people because they're kind of looking at me funny.

Does it feel colder? Does the atmosphere feel colder? I don't know because, well, yeah, it's kind of cool. There's an air con in here, let's just say that. Right, okay, yeah. They did say it was going to be like nine degrees today. So we're about to say you're in the airport, because you can go outside.

Do you want to go outside for the first time in the South Island? Yeah, okay, I'll do that. Okay, let's do that. Because I think we can share in that moment with you. Yeah. I feel like we're the Department of Conservation and we're taking a bird we rescued out. I need to take it.

And setting her free. Yeah. Well, it is cold out here, yes. Oh, you're outside now. Yeah, yeah, I'm outside. I'm seeing that big, you know, sculpture, that silver sculpture thing. Yes, it's lovely, lovely. And the big giant car parking building, the big concrete building, that's lovely too.

That's nice, that's lovely. How's the atmosphere? Does it smell cleaner, fresher? Yeah, fresher, fresher, yeah. Okay. It's a beautiful South Islander, yeah. You're in the South Island, Frances. Congratulations.

Yay! Wow. Hey, well, enjoy that. I think we're going to book your flight back on the weekend because your brother lives down there.

He does. Spend the weekend with him. Wait, your brother lives down there but you've never been there? Yeah, so, I mean, I guess my parents live in the Waraka

so I've always caught up with them when I go down to my parents but I haven't come down this way. Wow. It's a win-win today because it's actually my sister-in-law's birthday as well. Oh, nice. So I guess it's there for that.

Well, enjoy the South Island, Frances, and you can now say that you've been to the South Island. Thank you. And guess what? So I got some Jaffas. Yep. Just because I'm like, you know, a Jeffer. So the Jeffer will be going on a journey.

I'm quite stretched. South Island people love a Jeffer joke. They do. You're right. You're right on that. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. I'm just sort of... Why did you? Vaughn's in hiding at the moment. He's in exile. We have a... What would you call that piece of furniture?

A poof? A foot poof? An ottoman. An ottoman. A little poof. And Vaughn is on the laptop on Skype on top of the ottoman or poof. And you just angled the camera to your crotch. It was like staring at your crotch for a second.

This one? Yeah. Why are you doing that? No, I didn't. Yes, you did. You did. It was a substantial amount of crotch for a second. This one? Yeah. Why are you doing that? No, I didn't. Yes, you did. You did. It was a substantial amount of focus on the crotch. Oh, no.

It was because I needed to turn the microphone up and it's on the other side of the screen. Right. I was like, I'm not sitting here the whole time looking at your crotch. So I just folded that. But it's all right now, right? Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You can see the moneymaker.

Yeah. I mean, it's a low angle view. It's a... It's all right, though. Yeah. It's where it's a low angle view. It's a... It's all right, though. Yeah. It's where you grow a beard to hide your double chin. So, you know, I love a good fact about a bee. Yes.

Well, this is about... Today's fact is about the bee dance. Okay. Bees do a little dance. Now, this dance has been studied, and this must have been one hell of a study to undertake. But they found out that bees dance to each other when in the hive to tell the other bees who are about to go out where to find good pollen. So they're out in a flower and they're like,

I couldn't carry any more pollen. I'm going to have to take off home. But mark this. It's like when you find a good fishing spot, I suppose. And you check this market. Yeah, your market so you can go back and get there or diving or... Hunting. Hunting spots or maybe someone likes to take their chainsaw in public

and cut down or cut up trees that have fallen down. You know, you mark these things so you can go back and find the good spots. Or if you're growing marijuana in public forestry and you need to know how to get back to your cash crop. Right. That can happen. So they memorize the location. They fly back to the hive.

When they get back, they're depositing the pollen. They do a little dance. Now, this is how the dance works. The angle of the dance is the angle relative to the sun. Okay. At the location. Right. The tempo of the dance, so how fast they're dancing, is the distance from the location. Right. The tempo of the dance, so how fast they're dancing, is the distance from the hive.

Right. The duration of the dance is the quality of the pollen there. Oh, so the longer the better? The longer the dance, the better? The longer the dance, the better the quality of pollen. And the dancer will also hand out free samples to whoever's watching. Wow. Who knew?

So this study must have been so intense. This was done by the United States Department of Agriculture and the National Institute of Food and Agriculture. But they studied them. They had a, I'm guessing, a clear-sighted hive. Yeah. And they watched the bees and they danced. And then the bees that watched the

dance, they tracked them and worked out that they could find the way to where that bee had just come back from. What about, because I think about myself when I'm into clubs and you know I'm not a very good dancer. So, I mean, what if I was in the bee world and I found

a bountiful flower with pollen and I hit the dance floor, the beehive dance floor. Yeah. And people are like, well, does he mean over there or is it over there? Because he kind of doesn't have the moves, you know what I mean? Unless I'm really drunk. And even then I'm terrible at dancing. Then you're sending them in the wrong direction.

Yeah, so I'd just be no help in the bee world at all. It's not a sexy dance to allure a prospective mate, like when you dance, Fletch. Right. Your dances are more like the dance of a tropical bird, a bird of paradise, flashing its colours. With some pelvic thrusting. Yeah, and your tail feathers are up and making you look big and, you know, attractive.

But this is more of a very practical dance. Imagine if bees flew into Deep Heart and Funky. They'd just be like, God, where's the sweet? I'd be very worried about what they would be pollinating if they flew into Deep Heart and Funky. They'd be like, oh, this looks like I might have pollinated. Whoa! Shit, I'm a bee.

I've just had this freak out realisation that I'm a bee. Man, what am I doing? I'm just making honey so someone can steal it. This is outrageous. So do you have any description of what the dance looks like? There's a lot of tapping. There is a video of it. I can describe the video.

There's a lot of tapping. And the angle is like the angle of their body. So they go down at the front. So it probably wouldn't look like, you know, dancing to us. More just weird moves. No shit, Fletch. I didn't expect them to do, like, the tango. No, I just thought you might have thought it was like dancing with the stars.

It's not like that, Megan. It's not like that at all. The B Macarena. Yeah. He's like, the angle is 32 relative to the sun. I'm going pretty fast now because it's far away. I'm going to keep dancing to tell you that it's pretty good. Hey, have some samples.

Like that sort of bee-related content. So today's fact of the day is bees dance to each other in the hive to tell other bees where they found the good pollen. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. You know, Soundkeeper Gary, he does the bees. Do you know about this, Gary? What do you call that? An arborist.

No, an apirist. Apirist. Did you know about the bee dance, Gary? Have you seen them do the bee dance? Yeah, I know exactly what he's talking about. They go straight in a line and then they go in a circular pattern, kind of like an axe, and then they go back up the line that they originally went, but they go like liney, like a waveform.

They're real fun to watch. He's real jazzed about his bees if he can't tell. I know, your Saturday nights sound great. It's cute. It is. I know, and we love your honey too, Gary, that he's still not charging us for. I'm holding in my hand something that we're quite proud of.

It's a massive magnet and on it... We're proud of magnets on the show. We don't set the bar too high when it comes to pride. We made it. Well, we didn't make it. Someone else did. But it is Fletcher Pornomegan's flativity planner. Like an activity planner, but for the flat.

Yeah. So this is a big magnet. It looks like a piece of refill that you can stick on your fridge. Yes. Yeah. And you write your important information on there, and it even comes with a little marker. Yeah, a magnetised marker. I didn't know that was in the budget.

So we've had these made up. You can actually grab some of these this afternoon from the ZM Black Thunders around the country. Plus, keep an eye on our social media as well. We'll have the chance for you to comment to win. Yeah. And we thought we'd give some away. So the flat activity planner, there's like spaces for different things. Like you've got to win. Yeah. And we thought we'd give some away. So the flat activity planner, there's like spaces for different things.

Like you've got rubbish day. Yeah. So you write that down. The Wi-Fi password, someone else's Netflix password, the flat shopping list. Yeah. There's lots of room there to write the flat shopping list with the marker. Yeah. Some people have been silly on the one I'm holding.

Yeah, don't read that out. Fact of the day. Day, day, day, day. You can write down the fact. That'm holding. You don't read that out. Fact of the day. Day, day, day, day. You can write down the fact. That's a nice little, you can write down the fact of the day we do or just write down your own fact of the day. Yes, no, fine, yeah. There's a dick of the week. Someone's written fletch. That's accurate.

Now, does that have to be flat specific or that can be anybody in the world or that's completely up to the user? Well, that's completely up to you, yeah. Up to your interpretation. And then down the bottom is my favourite. It's reserved for passive-aggressive notes. Because flats love a passive-aggressive note. Yeah.

And I mean, there might not be, especially for those that are just starting flats now with O-Weeks happening around the country, there won't be any passive-aggressive notes now but, oh, you just wait till someone's got a hater in their room. Oh yeah. In June. But does a person... And you might be like,

what's the difference between a passive aggressive note and an aggressive note? Well, passive aggressive is where they start like, gentle reminder or hey guys

and then there's something, they write something that is aggressive but it's had the passive start to it whereas aggressive notes would be like, if you, no haters in the room.

So we thought we'd give away some of these flat-tivity planners now that you can put on your fridge in your flat, but we want to hear from your best of your best passive-aggressive notes that you've had in your flat or even the workplace. Do people know that they're being passive-aggressive or do they think they're being nice? Like, how can I write this in a really nice way? I think they're just trying to be nice but also aggressive.

Yeah, right. At the same time. Intern Anya, you've moved out of this flat a long time ago, but you lived in the flat of all passive-aggressive notes. Yeah, my favourite one was a post-it note on Clack Clack Containers saying, hey, Anna, just a reminder that these are a boomerang. Oh. That's Passag.

They go back, they've got to go out, they've got to come back. Yeah. But were you returning them? Well, obviously not as quickly as required. But were you leaving them at work or something? No, I don't think so. I mean, yeah, I was putting them in the dishwasher. Right.

Any more? Any more from that flat? My purple soap got thrown out because it didn't match the decor of the kitchen. That's just rude. What do you mean purple soap? I remember you saying that. Yeah, I bought some soap for the... You know, she got one of those palm olive

bars that you had growing up because that was all the soap was. Before liquid soap. You prepare for these two to poop all over bar soap. We helped you out with your dusty bar soap situation, didn't we? But I wouldn't throw out somebody else's bar soap. So there was a little note next to

that as well. Oh good! Alright, well we want to hear of these passive-aggressive notes, the best ones that you've seen or that you've had in your flat or workplace, 0800 DALS at M. And also, if you get on air, we'll give you one of our flat-tivity planners, 0800 DALS at M.

You can text as well, 9696. Talking about your PASAG notes that either you've left or people have left for you. No, people aren't normally dobbing themselves in on this, are they? No, not usually. Text messages. There's a couple of people, a couple of people that are dobbing themselves in. Okay.

Somebody said, my flatmate said a long, passive-aggressive note to the flat saying we need to take a course in basic physics because smoke from their cigarettes float up into the windows from the balcony and they would like to keep cancer free and you can keep cancer to yourself. Yeah, I've heard that before. Smoking outside and it wafts up into your room. I can kind of see that. I'm kind of on board with that PASAG note.

Yeah. Somebody else said my flatmate once used the flat Facebook messenger group to say, hey guys. Which is exactly how you start every passive aggressive night. If you use my bathroom, could you please at least refill the toilet paper? Someone is just leaving the last little bit on there.

You know the bit that's stuck to the roll? Yeah. And they're like, that's enough to wipe. It's not enough. No, it's on your hands now. They're thinking that if you can, if the toilet roll is still covered in paper,

technically they don't have to change it. But if the roll's bare, then that's when you have to change it. I just take all the toilet paper out and put it in my room, and then next time, whoever it is, everyone gets punished then. I just take a roll when I need it. Oh, yeah, this is how flat divisions start, Megan. Yeah. Oh, flatting.

Sophie, this is a Passag note. Oh, it's me giving the note. So now I sound bad. No, well, I mean, we'll judge. It's not undeserved, though. Oh, Megan will support me. So it's me and my sister living with this guy. I'm not going to say his name because

I know he listens to ZM. Brett. Brett. Let's call him Brett. Brett. Okay. So when he first moved in, he claimed that he was a clean freak and me and my sister thought, perfect, just what we Brett. Brett. Okay. So when he first moved in, he claimed that he was a clean freak. And me and my sister thought, perfect, just what we need. Okay. Like four weeks down the track, my sister was asking me if I was leaving the toilet a mess. And I was quite offended because she knows I'm not a messy person.

So obviously it's drawn down to Brett. And Maria's not one to put notes anywhere, so I did the mean job. And I've put a note on the toilet brush saying, use me. Very, very pass-ag. And we've talked about toilet brushes not being available in hotels already on the show this morning,

so you know that we're supportive of your quest, Sophie. We'll hook you up with a flat-tivity planner, and you can write your pass-ag notes on there and leave it on the fridge. That sounds even better. So Brett can see these notes. Thanks, you're cool, Sophie. Wait there. Ava, what was the past ag note that you had?

So basically the first one was about a toilet and someone wrote a note and put on the back saying, your mother doesn't work or live here, so put the toilet roll back on the toilet roll thingy when you're done. Fair call. I know. And the second one was someone went on the internet, printed

out a meme, laminated it and it said, I've seen dishes in the sink. I don't know who you are, but I will find you. Like the Liam Neeson. Bit of a Liam Neeson. Yeah. Taking me there.

Just the classic. Couple of classic Passag notes there. Ava, we're going to hook you up with one of our Flattivity planners. Wait there. Oh, thank you so much. Some text messages in. Somebody said, this one works a treat from my experience. Put up a picture of Dr. Martin Luther King with his famous saying, I have a dream.

But follow on with, that someday the dishes will be done not by those who require them, but by those who dirty them. Yeah. Oh, it's a world. It's a world. I hate when my flight mate doesn't empty the dishwasher. And then I realize it's me and I'm like, oh, I don't want to. It was a world. I hate when my flatmate doesn't empty the dishwasher. And then I realise it's me and I'm like, I don't want to. It was your turn.

But I always do it. Yeah. All right. So we've got flativity planners. It's basically a big magnet. Magnet. Magnet. You can stick on your fridge.

Put a magnet on the fridge. Comes with a pen too. Amazing, I know. But if you want to win one of these, you can go to Facebook and Instagram FBMZM and we're going to be giving these away. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast.

For more, check out ZM online. ZM.