ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Megan Podcast - January 13 2020

Episode Date: January 12, 2020

We are back!! FVM tell us about their holidays and we chat to our Royal Correspondent.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

ZM. Head music. Lives here. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. Thanks Ash. Good morning. Welcome to the show. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. That can't have been a month. That cannot have been a month. Why does it go by so much faster when you're older? You blink and a month's gone by. As promised though, Vaughan is in it. Oh, Vaughan's always grumpy after a break. Everyone else walked in this morning. G'day guys, how's your holiday?

Vaughan walks in. Rawr. Rawr. I swore. That was my first word in studio. It was a swear word. Now I'm sweaty. Why are you sweaty?

Is it hot in here? Oh my God, I'm getting menopause. Manopause. Manopause. Manopause. Manopause. There's no pausing manopause. No.

Got to ride them. Heat waves. Hot flashes. Hot flushes. Flashes. And bits and pieces. Joining us in studio this morning, there has, well, yesterday there was an announcement. The Bachelorette.

We have our Bachelorette. She is a doctor. And we have. How good would that be? Free pills. Is she a medical doctor or like a doctor of English? No, she's a medical doctor. Good.

Sick of people who just did a couple of years extra study saying I'm a doctor, but adding nothing to society. Love to see you save someone's life on a plane. Yeah. When they're like, is there a doctor on board? It's whom is the doctor on board? So we are going to get a chance to meet some of these bachelors who are vying for the bachelorette.

Do you have new headphones? Yes, I do. Do you? Keep that very quiet. That's like a builder turning up to work with a new hammer and not saying, have a swung of this.

Your old headphones are newer than my headphones. Your old ones. Can you get me hammered down here? Why do you want to hear because I kept having to wriggle the cord.

I know that's I'm just wriggling my cord now. No, fix the cord upstairs. Oh, you got a you got an adapter because it finishes on one of those small ones but we're going to go

to a big one for the studio. Megan's got an old I'm used to Vaughn's voice having crackles in it. I'm just used to that. That's just my deep, raspy tones. Yeah. Some bitch tagged me in a post.

I was at the airport coming back from a holiday. I'm tired, hot, and not wanting to come home. Yeah. And someone tags me and sends it to me. Their boyfriend took a photo of me at the airport saying, go off the radio with a squeaky voice. Remember someone did that to me. Someone took a photo of me at the airport.

Sent it to Fletch. How rude. So rude. What's not maybe his angle? Oh, really? No, I looked pretty hot. I've been mad. He took a hot photo, but he just had to drag me.

All right, you lot, listen up. It's story time. Well, story time's back for 2020. Reheared for another season. Have you done the date wrong yet? Have you written the date wrong? I don't think I've even written the date. I've written it once and I got it right because I was like,

I'll get this wrong. Did that on the form coming back into the country yesterday and I got it wrong. Wrote 19. Had to make the nine into a O. No. You had to make both into a two. Change them both.

That's the thing about now. The one's easy to make into a two. Well, anyway. Struggle is real. Back for 2020. Headline one. I'm going to give Vaughan and Megan three headlines. You've got to pick one headline only. Headline one. I'm going to give Vaughan and Megan three headlines. You've got to pick one headline only.

Headline one, man calls 911 on himself. Headline two, man arrested after attempting to live at airport. And headline three, teen arrested, teens arrested after X-rated break-in. X-rated break-in. Yes. Three. Is it, it's not poop? No. You wouldn't call poop X-rated. No. Oh, it's not poop? No.

You wouldn't call poop X-rated. No. Oh, it depends where you do it. Fair call. But do you know, you know how you always hear about, we don't always hear, but often there's a story about a break-in and they poo? Yeah, but why? Because that's leaving DNA.

No, apparently. So you break in and your body tenses up and the adrenaline starts pumping. It's like when you're going for a run and you need to go for a poo or start doing exercise and you need to do poo. Your body starts like... It's like adrenaline.

It's pumping adrenaline and you're all... Your metabolism's speeding up. Yeah, yeah. And so they're like, I'm going to have to do a poo. You're telling me robbery is like going to the gym. Just before you get that Samsung frame off the wall, I just need a couple of minutes.

What do you mean, is you're robbing a bank? You're like, excuse me, I'm just terrible timing, but could I use your bathroom? Oh, you'd be best to defecate before trying to rob a bank. Okay. Can you put that in MyFitnessPal? Like, how many calories does that burn? Robbing a bank.

I'm just going to do a light home invasion on the Apple Watch. You're like, whereabouts is that under the exercises? Scroll through. All right, so we want that story. Yes, please. Yeah. All right, we go now to American Al, Auburn. This is in the Detroit Free Press.

So I'm guessing somewhere in the Michigan area. Police have cracked a case and have arrested a couple of teenage boys, a 16-year-old and an 18-year-old. This was after an investigation when drivers along a freeway saw a billboard which had porn on it, porn videos. You know the electronic billboards? Oh, yeah.

Yeah. So obviously police were called, and that is when they started their investigation. Two teens were seen on video breaking into the storage shed underneath the billboard where the laptop was. It's just a laptop under a billboard.

Who knew? Oh my God. It can't be every digital billboard. I don't know if every digital billboard works like that, but I'm assuming they're all connected to the internet and probably quite hackable.

Well, they literally just broke into this door. They're caught on CCTV. They've got their hoodies pulled over their faces, but you can still see a little bit. They spent 15 minutes there, probably trying to find an ideal video to put up. And they changed it. You want to get something that pleases the most people.

Yeah. They changed the billboard and then left. Oh, wow. To a photo or video? I believe it was video. Good Lord. Because people passing by drivers notified police. What pixelation does a digital billboard have?

You wouldn't waste your time waiting for a 1080 to load up, is all I'm saying. You'd probably go for a 540, maybe a 240. So, yeah, anyway, they've been arrested and charged. But, yeah, who knew it was that easy? Well, we know that it's connected to a laptop because, you know, the digital billboard outside our studio, sometimes that goes off and it's like the windows.

It's the windows area in the middle. And you can see the rubbish recycle bin on the desktop. And then when it restarts, and then when they like reboot it, it's not on the right. It stretches at all. Yeah. All over the place. Flesh, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. ZM. The Olympics are this year. That's crazy. All over the place. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan.

The podcast. ZM. The Olympics are this year. That's crazy. Because it's 2020. So they're happening in Tokyo and it's about this time that we start hearing about the Athletes' Village

and everything that's going in there. Oh, you always hear about the Athletes' Village. Yeah. Oh, yeah. And how they don't think it's up to scratch or... They're going eco-friendly

this year in Tokyo. Fletch and I were talking about sex. Oh, what? We were talking about the sexy little antics of those highly carved athletes' bodies smashing into each other. But they have to wait till they're finished, right? No, because every time it's either Commonwealth Games

or Olympics, there's always like Tinder stories, the amount of condom stories. Yeah. Because they give out condoms in the village, right? How much maccas they eat. Which I presume is afterwards. Yeah. So bizarre because that's all of us at the weekend,

but you don't expect them to be like that. So, yeah, we're hearing about the village and it's funny you bring up sex because it's actually the beds that the athletes have a problem with. They are 2.1 metre long beds. And they're eco-friendly. They're eco-friendly. So they're not wooden.

They are made out of cardboard. They have been made out of cardboard so that afterwards they can break them down and recycle them. So the mattress is still a mattress, right? Or is that cardboard too? No, the mattress is still a mattress.

I was going to say. So there's heaps of these beds and the athletes, some of them can be quite heavy, like a lot of muscle. So they're worried that they are going to break and especially under the pressure of maybe two bodies on the bed at the same time. But they can hold up to 200 kgs in weight. So you're going to have to... Do you have a picture? I know that's wasted on radio, but maybe we can explain.

It's white cardboard, so you can't necessarily tell, but it does kind of look like the beds perched on boxes. Yeah, it's like the cardboard cathedral, right? It's not going to be cardboard like we know it of. You grab a Huggies nappy box at the checkout. At Hackensave. Yeah, and put it in that, and then it collapses

because it's got beans in it, but it was made for light nappies. But it's not going to be like that. that it's gonna be a more durable cardboard yeah and like but what happens if you like sweat the bed or something and the cardboard just oh yeah but it would have to get through the mattress your pump bottle falls over in the middle of the night because soggy soggy's the left leg and then you wake up in the morning you're on an ankle you see those beds those mattresses are 2.1 metres long. Yeah. I thought, that's a long bed. No, that's standard, isn't it?

Isn't 1.2? 2.1. 2.1. Yeah, that would be standard, right? The average height for a Japanese man is 5 foot 2 or 1 metre 60.

Really? So there's a lot of play in that. I want to go to Japan and be taller than everyone. You could stack five sideways and then one at the bottom. But there's going to be athletes from all over the world.

No, no, but that's what I'm saying is when you said the mattresses so they can reuse them. Oh, yeah. They're going to be swimming in these. Yeah, right. Four foot nine or one meter 48.9 is the average Japanese woman's height. Right. Well, it's not a problem we're going to have to face, is it? Because we're not going to the Olympics.

No. Not this time. Which time? Are you banking in four years or something? Next time? And what sport are you picking at that you'll get so good at it, you'll be there in four years' time? He's been doing trampolining.

You go to jump. You can do trampolining. No. I can double bounce the five foot nine, the five, how tall were they? Five foot two. Japanese men. Yeah.

Double bounce them right up. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. The Australian bushfires would probably be the biggest news of the month since we went on break and now we're back. It just got worse and worse and worse. Insane, isn't it? Yeah. Started super.

They said it had been burning in some form or another since September. Yeah, right. Which is an insanely long amount of time. It really picked up in the heat of summer and they're far from sorted.

There was some relief. There was some rain in some areas. But they said it's far from enough to put out all the fires. It's still absolutely ongoing. Americans have arrived to help, the Defence Force. Everybody's getting in. The Association of Tennis Professionals have just made a $500,000 donation.

God, you'd be surprised how long it took me to find out what ATP stands for. I just read the story. It's like ATP makes a $500,000 donation. I was like like that's cool Who are they? And then it's I knew the T stood for tennis Right

But I couldn't find out What the other There's been some They just stand out for Big donation was at Leonardo DiCaprio's Organisation over the weekend Was that $3 million?

Yeah Hemsworth Chris Hemsworth Did a million dollars Yeah Yeah it's his home country He said he was feeling it So one of the other things that's happened is the terrible,

I think they said the latest estimations are a billion creatures. Animals, yeah. Yeah, animals, wildlife. And it may, obviously they've got to put the fires out before they start worrying too much about what happens afterwards. It's important to get them out. But the fact that koalas may be functionally extinct, which means they exist,

but their habitat has been destroyed to the point where if humans weren't around, they wouldn't be around. Oh, my God. I mean, it's because humans are around that they are endangered. But you know what I mean? If we weren't there to foster them and everything, then it wouldn't be. I saw a thing saying

don't pour water into a koala's mouth put it in a bowl in front of it. Now that's not something I'm going to have to worry about because I don't have koalas. I didn't know that was a thing. Yeah. Apparently you can drown them. From that bottled water.

You can drown them. Look at all those cute photos. Yeah, you should put it in a bowl in front of them. That's the professionals. Well, a petition has been started to introduce koalas to New Zealand. Now, that's not going to help. We don't have the right things for them to eat.

I'll tell you about another furry marsupial that was thought to be an okay idea to be introduced to New Zealand. Possums. Oh, how did that go? Not great. No. Not great. But, I mean, if we can help out, we'll be. What if we just had them here in like a special breeding centre?

Like caged in, quarantined. No, but if you ran like a big pool fence. Yeah. Because famously koalas can't get over pool fences. Yeah, no, they can't. And obviously you'd have to have the trees back from the pool fence so that they couldn't climb the tree and jump over the pool fence. Do we even have eucalyptus tree?

I know we've got some, but do we even have that many? No. But that makes short work of those. Yeah, and then I don't know. That was the thought with possums. It's been like, well, they're not out of control in Australia and they're completely herbivores because they can only eat so much of the plant

and then they have to chill. But in New Zealand they got here and they're like, I can just eat so much of the plant and then they have to chill. But in New Zealand, they got here and they're like, I can just eat as much as I want of this. I might have a bloody baby Kia. And then, well, that was delicious. I might have another.

And possums just turned into these feral monsters. Imagine who, now, imagine an aggressive koala. Because there was that thing about koalas that would drop out of trees onto people's heads and bite them. This Australian myth.

I don't know how it even got started. But they could actually happen if they got here. Because they wouldn't get sleepy from all the eucalyptus. They'd be high on pine needles and kofi trees and karaka berries. They'd be chomping those. And they'd being high on meth and drunk and aggressive,

just like an Australian in Bali. Do we want that? Probably not the best idea. And that's not even taking into account the biological stuff they bring in. Riddled with the clap. Yeah. We got the meds.

Fleshforn and Megan, the podcast. ZM. There is a study. It studied 2019's films. It was called It's a Man's Salloy Lloyd World Study. It was conducted by Dr. Martha Lausman. Okay.

And she found that across the top grossing films of 2019, only 34% of all speaking characters were women. Wow. Women were two thirds. Because that was the big beef and the one I can think of is Once Upon a Time in Hollywood. It had Margot Robbie in it.

That's right, Margot Robbie. But she says hardly anything. Right. But is she in it heaps but she doesn't speak? Yeah. Right. But also sold as one of the main characters

aside from Brad and Leo. Yeah. But doesn't speak much. There was big beef. And remember someone asked Quentin Tarantino and he got really upset about it. And The Irishman. I haven't watched that. No.

It's a big mouthful. You've got to, what, three hours? You've got to be in the mood for it. Anna Paquin says six words in it. Jeez. And I think she was kind of touted as one of the main female six words in it. Jeez. And I think she was kind of touted as one of the main female characters involved in it. But they said if it wasn't for films

such as Little Woman and Hustlers, there would be an even more significant decrease. Wow. And there's actually a study. It is called the Bestel Test. Yeah. And this is, I'd be interested to see how this went over the 2019 films.

Okay. This is where women, and this is in fiction, where women have a role, where women speak. Yeah. And where women speak to another woman in the film, but not about a male. Well, Hustlers is all about the guys. Girls talking to other girls about, but there might be parts where they talk.

Oh, so it doesn't have to be the whole movie. There just has to be a part where they talk. There has to be a part in there where they have a conversation that's not about a male. Okay. And Little Women, there definitely would have been parts where they weren't talking about another male. Yeah. Yeah. Is it Little Woman based on talking about another male. Yeah. Yeah. Is it Little Woman based on the old, really old book?

Yeah. Is that what that says? How do you know? Yeah, it is. Because I was reading about it. Did you watch it? No, but I definitely want to watch it. It looks cool.

But it's a modern telling of the old story. Right. I haven't seen it. No, no, I don't know much about it. I assume there's a woman in it, the title. I assume there's a small, maybe a little woman. And then in brackets it says speaking roles and then close. And so it kind of leads you in with the promise of woman saying a lot

and then you get in and it's just male dominated. But you've already paid your money, so. Yeah, right. Tough titty. From the ZM Think Tank, this is the Top Six. Hello there. Gwyneth Paltrow has done it again. You can't deny that.

Lots of PR, be it good or bad. She gets people going to goop the website to see the crazy stuff when she talks about these sorts of things. Yeah. A candle called, this candle smells like my vagina? Yeah, smells like my vagina. Yeah. Smells like my vagina. Is on sale for $113 New Zealand dollars.

But it's sold out. It's 75 American. Yeah. Sold out. So now there's a wait list for it. I just want to I just want to give it a smell.

I just want to know what it smells like. Wow. That's how it starts. Give us a smell. Is it? That's actually one of my, that was one of my best pickup lines.

Ew. Stop. We haven't even been here an hour. This is going to sound weird, but I'm a candle. I'm a candle maker. Give us a sniff. The butcher, the baker, the candlestick maker.

Out there in that boat, floating under the moon. Okay. Give us a sniff The butcher, the baker, the candlestick Out there in that boat Floating under the moon Give us a sniff The top six other body parts That need candles Number six on the list I forgot deodorant Armpit stank

You light that up and it smells like a You know the gym How do you smell this bad when you've just got here? Like, I understand further down the track if you didn't shower afterwards and sat around in your own stink maybe. And how do people not notice? Like, when they don't become accustomed to it. Yeah, it's like when you spray your own fragrance

and then during the day you don't smell it anymore, but everyone else can smell it on you. Or when you're in a room and you can't smell something and then you leave the room and then you come back and you're like, whoa, I've been sitting in this. Yeah, exactly like that. Number five on the list of the top six other body parts that need candles

and what they'd be called are the this is what my feet smell like after wearing synthetic socks candle. Oh yeah. Don't bring me into this. They're not breathable. You had no excuse. You were in an open-toe shoe and you weren't wearing socks.

You just had smelly feet. Well, it's open-toe. I can't wear socks. You stank out the whole plane. It was one time. It was very smelly. The people opening the door in Sydney to the plane were just like... That wasn't solely on my feet, though. That was also Vaughan's bum.

It was not my bum. Not that early in the flight. Number four on the list of the top six other body parts that need candles and what they'd be called. The when did you last wash your hair smelly scalp candle. Oh, that's nasty. Yeah. You get a little bit of a smelly scalp situation. Number three on the list of the top six other body parts that need candles and what they'd

be called, the how does my tongue smell like this candle? How are you smelling your tongue? You lick your wrist, then you leave it for a bit. Oh, yeah, that's yuck. And you let it dry and then you smell it. Yeah. Well, you know, like sometimes you'll catch a whiff of somebody's tongue. Like in an intimate moment.

You'll catch a whiff of somebody's tongue. Like in an intimate moment. You'll catch a whiff of a tongue. Right, okay. Well, I think the tongue does a lot of the work of bad breath. Yeah. I think bad breath's centred mostly. I like how you're covering it. Everyone gets a little bit, when you start talking about bad breath,

everyone puts up a little shield, don't they? Just in case it's me. In case it's wandering. Yeah. But, you know, the tongue holds all the stuff. I think the tongue's the smelliest part of the mouth. Yuck. Number two on the list of the top six other body parts that need candles

and what they'd be called, that's a butt crack candle. Sweaty. Yeah. Sweaty butt crack. Highbrow. It's a highbrow return to 2020 for sure. Yeah. Definitely.

How have you noticed post lasering of the butt? You just went to a hot area. How have you felt the sweat with the removal of hair? Oh, it's fine. It's fine. But there's a lot more slip slide. Oh, yeah, there's a lot. You feel like you're constantly sharp.

I don't know. What is up with your butt? Because I don't have. No, I don don't have get like a sweaty butt crack. It runs the whole back. Everything's shaped so that it runs into the crack. It runs down the back and hits the

curvaceous valley hills of the Baton and it takes the lowest valley and that is the butt crack. I'm not talking about a drip. It's not dripping. It's and that is the butt crack. I'm not talking about a drip. It's not dripping. It's cumulative sweat and the butt crack. You get used to having hair there and then it's not there anymore. It always feels slightly warm.

It's been fine. And number one on the list of the top six other body parts that need candles and what they be called. Is that your foreskin? Jesus! I'm so sorry. What?

Hit the button. I was expecting an immediate punch out. Hit the button. Wow. Seriously, man. I'm hitting the button. I'm hitting the button. Wash it.

ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. Over the holidays, I nearly died. Are you exaggerating? A little bit. Right, okay. A little bit. I went to Fiji for a week, a little break. And you had to shut the cafe, right?

We shut the cafe, which it hasn't been shut the whole year. So it's been open seven days and this was our holiday. We booked this in May 2019. Do you go to a travel agent? You know I go to a travel agent. You're such a boomer in a young person's body. Because then they deal with all the insurance. Her body's very boomer as well.

She's like, I have like a hip replacement and knees are buggered. Excuse me. You're a boomer. When I was in strife overseas, I had emails from lots of, a couple of travel agents at that one particular place asking if I was okay. What were they going to do? Do you want us to turn the rain off?

The wind? Do you want us to turn the wind down? They were like, you have everything you need. Are you like sort of a transfers? Like, are your flights okay? Are your ferry like tickets okay? Okay, I'll give you that. That's pretty good.

Are you fine in your accommodation? Which was very nice. Yeah, I don't know what they would have done, but regardless. So we went to Fiji. Well, I got an email from a Nigerian princess. And she asked me if I wanted diamonds. And I said, yes, I do. And she loves me.

And another woman's going to help my penis get bigger. So we've all had great emails from people while we're on holiday. So we went to Fiji for a week and we, as we were going over there, someone said there was a tropical depression. Does it sound good? I was like, oh, what is that? Like some rain or something? They're like, and because the people are so cool and calm and casual over there,

they were like, oh, we're not sure what it means yet. Could be a bit of rain or whatnot. We're like, oh, we're not sure what it means yet. Could be a bit of rain or whatnot. We're like, okay, that's all right. So we got on a ferry, which we later learned had actually been cancelled. So we were probably four people on this ferry, and it was pretty rough going over to our small island. How did it go if it had been cancelled? Well, so they'd cancelled the sailing,

and then I guess they figured it was still calm enough to do one more sailing. Right, okay. So we didn't even know that prior to boarding, this sailing had been cancelled. So we got onto it and it was, I got very wet. It was rough. We get there and we're picked up because the ferry can't go into the island. It's only small.

We get picked up by a little boat. But the boat was a dinghy that was level with the water. So there was four of us, two people looking after the dinghy and then us with our suitcases on this tiny dinghy in very rough water getting onto an island. And at that point they said, oh, we had to pick you up on this because all of our other vessels have been taken into the mainland. We can't have any boats out here for the cyclone.

And we're like, the what? The what? The C word. I was like, when is that happening? And they're like, oh, either tonight or tomorrow. I was like, oh. So do we stay here? Like, is this okay? And he said, oh, yeah, or tomorrow. I was like, oh. So do we stay here? Like, is this okay?

And he said, oh, yeah, but there's no one else coming now. You're the last one until the ferry gets, you know, until they bring the ferry back out again. So we settled in, but everyone was very calm and collected. They go through this apparently four times a year. They have a pretty decent cyclone in Fiji, so they know what they're doing. But they were so calm and chill about everything,

but the first night the power went out, and I was like, oh my gosh, okay, here we go. Well, they're technically the flight attendants of the island. They don't hit a bit of turbulence, and they're like, get out! Oh my God, no, you're on your own now. And so, yeah, the power went out at dinner, and I was like, oh my gosh, okay, here we go. It's all on. But they have generators, so the power came out at dinner and I was like, oh my gosh, okay, here we go.

It's all on. But they have generators so the power came back on and I was like, oh, it's fine. But it wasn't until the next day that they told us that all amenities at the island were shut down

and we weren't to leave our rooms. Oh my God, what about, what's your breakfast buffet? So they bring everything to your room. Just the wheelbarrows and baked beans.

Like, want any of this? You're like, no. Next wheelbarrow. Full of bacon. Y'all have some bacon. Yeah, they bring everything to your room. But these poor people were like wearing like raincoats and umbrellas, holding everyone's meals like absolutely like battered by the weather.

And there's like tinfoil trying to hold onto your plate. But they brought everything to us. I didn't order that. Go back. Take it back. And again, it was all like fun and games until they literally came over

and were like, we're sorry, we have to board up your windows. And what they, did they hammer bits of plywood into? No, they had boards that are for specific windows.

So obviously they do it all the time. But yeah, they hammered in these boards so we couldn't even see outside. So you're locked in your room. It was about 24 hours. And you couldn't leave? No.

Some kind of prison holiday. You could. You could open the door and leave. But I mean, you can hear the storm. You don't want to. Yeah. So that was quite the experience. But we were there for eight days and we had one day of sunshine as we left.

Wow. One day. I was like, oh. And one day of sunshine as we left. Wow. One day. I was like, oh. And one day I got severely burnt because I was like, sun! And the sun's like, I'm back, baby! Yeah, yeah. But, I mean, thankfully we're on an island. Everyone was very well prepared.

No one was hurt because, I mean, we laughed, but there was two people that died in that cyclone in Fiji. Right. And it devastated the mainland. It was like, it was full on. But, I mean, it was an experience. Yeah. Yeah, you've got to take positive.

Chalk it up. Yeah. Chalk it up to experience. So, you're like, yeah, that was an experience. That was an experience. Two of us back at work, the first break he's had all year, and he's like, yeah, it was a great experience. And everyone asks you, oh, how was your trip to Fiji?

You're like, yeah. That was an experience. Not calming at all. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. The Bachelorette New Zealand is coming Monday, the 27th of January, and we are getting to meet some of the Bachelorette contestants. And in studio with us this morning is Kurt. Good morning.

Morning, everybody. I know, Kurt. We've talked about gin at the airport. We've talked about gin. Yeah, we sure have. We've talked about gin. He knows his gin. Wait, wait, wait.

Do you work at the airport? Or do you work for the gin company and you just happen to be at the airport that day educating people about the gin? Gin is one of the products that I look after throughout all of New Zealand. Right. Aperol Spritz is another good one, especially for some at the moment. I didn't know that.

Wow. Maybe get Aperol Spritz another time. Okay, I've just elevated you up my friend rankings. Top 8 on Bebo. There we go. Aperol Spritz is a two-rung jump, isn't it? Yeah, up the friend ladder. Straight up the friend ladder.

So you've been unlucky in love then, I guess, if you're jumping on The Bachelorette. Why did you want to go on there? So actually, I didn't apply to be on The Bachelorette. A friend applied on my behalf. Lovely. I got a phone call and asked me if I wanted to carry on with an application and I was dumbfounded.

I was like, okay, sure. What's this for? I was like, it's for the bachelorette. Are you single? I was like, unfortunately, yes. And then I didn't actually think I'd make it through. So I was like, sure. It's an interview.

That's not going to happen. I'm not six foot four and rock hard abs. I've got the dad bod going on. And then I got the casted on and I was like, this is going to be fun. Love it. And where is it at? Has it all been filmed? It's all taken care of?

And now you've got all the filming's done and dusted? So you're going to remain mum and mum situation. How was the experience overall then? You can't obviously tell us how you went, but how was the experience? The experience was absolutely incredible. It was definitely something that was outside of my comfort zone. So to have this opportunity to showcase who I am to a national audience and to break down the stereotypes of what New Zealand guys are known for,

it was a great learning opportunity about myself and hopefully, yeah, worked a charm. Are you nervous about seeing yourself on TV? Seeing yourself in, you know, in quite a vulnerable situation? Are you nervous about that? No, not at all. I grew up and I was bullied growing up as a kid. So I developed a toughened skin.

So all these nasty comments from trolls and people leaving these remarks, it doesn't really faze me anymore. I'm more cautious to hear what my voice sounds like. I don't want to hear my voice on TV. No one likes hearing that. I do. I love it.

I just go home and record my own podcast. Oh, well, Kurt, best of luck for The Bachelorette. We look forward to seeing you on there. Awesome. Thanks, guys. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. Keeping up to date with the news just became a little easier. As at Herald's new podcast,

the front page is your short, sharp daily news podcast. Join me, Damien Venuto, every weekday morning as I chat with journalists and newsmakers going behind the headlines to break down what you need to know on the biggest news stories of the day. Listen to the front page at nzherald.co.nz slash podcasts and follow us on iHeartRadio or wherever you get your podcasts.

Well, that's certainly not over. It's burning. There was some rain in some areas of Australia, but the Australian bushfires are still wildly out of control. And a New Zealand journalist who's been covering it joins us on the phone, the boss, Ryan Boswell. Good morning. Morning, team.

Mate, have you been there since we last talked? I think every time I've turned on the television, have you been there since we last talked? I think every time I've turned on the television, you've been covering this. Yeah, non-stop. I was up Newcastle over the weekend, and even driving up there, you see lines and lines of trees that have just been completely burnt out.

And, of course, the wildlife. Over a billion animals have been killed in these fires, they estimate. It's just disaster. Well, where do they begin? Because I was wondering that because it went from half a billion to a billion. Where do they begin? Have you talked to anyone that their job is estimating loss of life in the wildlife?

Well, it's really tough. They have estimates on where these animals are and how many there are in each population. And the environmentalists can kind of estimate how many have survived in these fires. But it is still really tricky. And even the number of homes that have been lost, thousands across the country, of course. They don't exactly know the number

because many of these fires are still burning. There are some areas that are still isolated where communities, where firefighters can't actually get access to these communities so people are cut off. Even getting air crews in can be difficult because the smoke is so thick that these air crews can't actually

fly in to help. The roads are all blocked and so it's a real fight against time. Essentially, they're just trying to contain these fires, get on top of them and make sure that large population centres don't have to take on these blazes. We saw some on the outskirts of Sydney last week, and there was an out of control blaze and it was really close to homes and firefighters were going full gun there trying to dampen down these flames and put a wall around them so that these flames don't spread but of course with the winds whipping up then you see these sparks flying

across the skies and because it's so dry, fires take off really quickly. I've seen a lot of snaps and videos coming out from friends in Sydney. Is it worth New Zealanders coming over to Sydney for the weekend if they've got plans? Because the air quality looks horrific. It's gross. It's really gross.

We're talking 40-degree temperatures, which sounds ideal, but every day it's overcast because of the smoke. So it's not like you go down to the beach and lie in the sun and enjoy the great weather. You're sitting in smoky weather and hot temperatures. It's not great. Right. And what about the conspiracy theories that have been kind of coming out over the last week? Oh, these are crazy.

Like some of the ideas that are popping up on social media. One is that there are teams burning these fires on purpose to create high speed rail down the east coast of Australia. There's the idea that billionaires from China are using lasers to clear paths for new cities and that eco-terrorists are trying to spur this action on around climate change by making up this catastrophe. So there are plenty of lies around. A lot of them are being discredited, of course, and even arsonists are to blame. Well, that's not quite true because there was one figure going around

that 183 people had been arrested for arson over these bushfires. Well, that's not true. The only figures that police have at this stage are around 40 people being arrested and that was for the last bushfire season. So people like to jump on these theories and try and discredit climate change but

it really seems to be the moot which the firefighters are trying to get those in power to take notice of because as the temperatures rise, they're saying that these fires are just going to last for months and months. And of course, the fire season will get longer and longer as temperatures dry out and it gets hotter.

So any end in sight then? Or is this just an ongoing battle for the foreseeable future in Australia? Oh, it's going to be an ongoing battle. Unfortunately, they've said that these fires will go on for months and we're waiting for rain. Every day there's rain. I never thought I'd want to see so much rain. But, yeah, it's always a good time when it starts to rain in Aussie.

Awesome. Hey, thanks very much for chatting to us. Look after yourself. Yeah, look after yourself. Stay safe. Thanks, guys. New Year's has been. Yep, but this is our first show back, so we're allowed to talk about it. I got to work this morning and I said Happy New Year to someone.

Am I still allowed to say that? Is it gone? But I haven't seen them. Have I? It was Lovely Bruce. Lovely Bruce. Oh, Lovely Bruce. You're allowed to say it to Lovely Bruce. So I said Happy New Year and then I was like, well, it is the 13th.

Can I still say that? I'll make this exception for Lovely Bruce. Okay, Lovely Bruce. Okay. Nobody else. Otherwise, it's gone though, isn't it? It's done. Happy New Year's is kind of gone.

Yeah, it's done its part. So New Year's is kind of gone. Yeah, it's done its part. So New Year's resolutions, you just told me the New Year's resolutions back to Roman times. Yeah, so I just looked and I was trying to Google some statistics I could hit you with. I've found some.

But yeah, dates back to like the Romans began each year by making promises to the God. Gods. Which one? Because they had a few, famously. Janus. Janus. Janus.

A god called Janus. Janus. The god Janus. Janus. I'd imagine they would have said. It's who a god is. No, but that doesn't sound. They would have called it probably Janus.

I'm going to click. I would have been like, oh my me. Oh my me. In ancient Roman religion and myth, Janus is the god of beginnings, gates, transitions, time, duality, doorways, passages, and endings. Ooh. Cool god.

Passages. The godway of passages. Like the hallway. Yeah, yeah. Down to the bedroom. Run, quick, run. It's dark. There could be a goddess hiding in there. Hot the hallway. Yeah, yeah. Down to the bedroom. Run, quick, run. It's dark. There could be a goddess hiding in there.

Hot water cupboard. Okay. So you'd make a promise to what? Be a better person. I guess so, yeah. And there was also like, you know, for good finances and that kind of thing. But nowadays, a study has found that 46% of participants who made common New Year's resolutions, things like weight loss, what else, like exercising, quitting smoking, that kind of stuff.

What would they have promised in Roman times? I don't know, gold coins or something. Just like more money. I'm going to be better with my money. I think they wouldn't have. I don't think they had the weight loss thing. Had the modern problems. Yeah, no.

Like, oh, I'm on Roman Facebook too much. I'm going to cut back on my social media. I'm going to cut down. Well, a study found that 46% of people who made New Year's resolutions were more likely to succeed over 10 times as much as those who just decided at some other time during the year to quit smoking or have a resolution. Right.

And this is what we wanted to do today for a social experiment about New Year's resolutions. We're going to take your New Year's resolutions today. Like something you've, or maybe you've already decided this because it's the 13th of Jan today. Yeah, you've probably been at it for a couple of weeks. Maybe you've been 13 days not buying takeaway coffee or not smoking. Oh, don't do that.

Say someone owns a cafe. Terrible resolution. And then we're going to call you back down the track later in the year. What are you, like end of March? Or yeah, but then do we keep going until like everyone falls off? Yeah, last one standing. Yeah, last one standing. But then, I mean.

These resolutions, last one standing. We're kind of hoping people are going to be honest here. So we want you to call us on 0800 DALSATM or text 9696. Tell us your resolution. And the crazy, the better. Yeah. The out there, the better. It could be anything, though.

And then we'll talk to you. We'll see what it is. And then you will come back and check. We need a spreadsheet because we need to write down. Oh, who even knows how to use Excel? We'll write down all the details. And Ternania, do even knows how to use Excel? We'll write down all the details. Intern Anya, do you know how to use Excel spreadsheets? We've already got one.

There's one up and going, mate. Producer Caitlin's left and look at you. Yeah, I'm wearing heels too. Yeah, weird. It was weird. She walked in wearing heels. They're kitten heels. They're training heels.

Yeah, tomorrow I'll be wearing my platforms. See you there. You sketch your shape up. I'm still calling you intern Anya. Executive intern, if you don't mind. Executive intern Anya. Executive intern. All right, well, give us a call.

0800-DARLS-AT-M 9696. Tell us what your New Year's resolution is. And even if it's a simple one, we want to try, test this social experiment and check in throughout the year. Check up on you later. Actually, we'll probably forget, won't we? Well, my news resolution is not to forget.

Did you just say make that up? I actually have a news resolution because I feel like out of all of us, you're the one that should. Nah. You know, like turn up to work on time. You're just setting yourself up to fail. Yeah, I was going to say he doesn't set goals because he doesn't do them and then he feels bad.

Yeah. It's a way to make you feel useless. Right. Failing at something. So if you don't try, you can't fail. Alright, well give us a call with your New Year's resolutions. 0800 dial ZM. ZM's Fletchbourne and Megan.

It's 18 to 8. We want you to participate in our social experiment. We're talking New Year's resolutions. You tell us your resolution and we will check back throughout the year to see how you're doing. Hey, no judge if you fail. No, most of them do, right?

Exactly. This could be the motivation you need, though, knowing that we're going to call you back. The whole nation's going to hear. Very true. I'm just going to answer this call. Gary? Hello?

What's your resolution? I'm going to try and ride my pushbike to answer this call. Gary? Hello? What's your resolution? I'm going to try and ride my pushbike every day this year. Okay, what about... That's a weather-dependent resolution, Gary. What about the rain, Gary? Yeah, I know. It's summertime. It was nice and sunny when I made it, so we'll see how we go.

Have you got a good raincoat? Yeah, I've got a pretty good raincoat. Gary, it sounds like you're in the car now. Yeah, I am. I've already done it this morning, though. Oh, right on. Good on you, Gary. Good on you, Gary.

Okay, well, Gary, we're going to put you in the spreadsheet and we're going to call you back in a couple of months to see how your resolution's going. Yeah, if you want to, you can check it on Strava as well. What? What? What? You don check it on Strava as well. What? What? What? What?

You don't know what Strava is? No. No. Oh, okay. Oh, you should go and get the app called Strava and you'll see. Oh, it's the cycling one, right? It's the cycling app.

And you can share your endeavours. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, no, I don't need you to share it with me. All right, Gary. If there's one thing other people love doing, Gary, it's looking at other people's exercise. Famously, great viewing. Do you remember you, Megan, did the hot,

you had a resolution once, no hot chips for a whole year. Yeah, before the wedding, which I did. Because the trouble is- You are just lucky that Vaughn is a good friend because when the hypnotist came in, I said we need to make her think that these hot chips are something else

and he wouldn't let me. But you can't you won't do anything against your will right? I wouldn't have eaten them I'm sure. I don't know. Well I wanted to try.

You'd fall under. Yeah. I guess. Like if the hypnotist had made you think the chips were delicious chocolate. Yeah.

Maybe. So we want to know what your New Year's resolutions are. Emily's messaged in. Since I can remember, I've bitten my nails. It's got so bad, I've moved on to destroying my cuticles. Oh, yeah.

As silly as it sounds, it's taken over my life, and I've thought about hypnosis from today. I'm determined to stop. Okay. With the help and motivation of you calling me back and asking if it worked. Get some clippers. A lot of people get acrylics on their nails to stop because you literally can't bite those.

And then once they grow out, then you've kind of broken the habit. You could try that. Or that nail polish. My nan always had that. Yeah. You paint it on and you put it in. Yeah. Okay.

That was always. Tasted, yeah, it was real gross. We can put that down on the list. Somebody else messaged in. This is always, tasted, yeah, it was real gross. We can put that down on the list. Somebody else messaged in, this is anonymous, but said, my New Year's resolution this year is about self-love.

Me too, I'm trying to cut back. Not more, less. I don't think that's what they mean. I'll continue reading and maybe we'll get to the bottom of whether or not they mean

playing with yourself. No. Oh no, okay. So every two weeks they plan on getting a massage, a facial and a manicure. This year's about caring and loving myself. And one of those drink bottles with a... Crystal in it. Crystal in it to recharge you.

Fruit diffuser. Yeah. I've never seen anyone put fruit in the fruit diffuser in there. No, it just gets annoying. It gets soggy and then the whole bottle smells and tastes like lemon like weeks after you're not over the lemon buzz. Anonymous,

you have a New Year's resolution? Yes, I do. So my partner and I are getting married next month and then we want to get stuck into trying for a baby.

Stuck in. It's like you're doing the weeds in the backyard. We're going to get stuck in. Yeah, a little prep work. So your New Year's resolution is to take all the romance out of making love and make it a schedule-orientated chore. Hopefully it doesn't get to the scheduled stuff,

but, yeah, we'd like to have a baby sometime next year. Okay, now just for the spreadsheet, when should we check in to see how this is going? Oh, gosh. Well, no, because we can check if they're doing it. But, you know, a lot of people like to wait until you're out of that first trimester to share the news. Okay, so we'll put you down for what, June? A June reminder?

Yeah, I think so. A June callback? Yeah. Yeah, okay. I can imagine you calling June And it's us being like Hey are you having sex And she's like This is inappropriate

Forgetting what we talked about In January Yeah Yeah yeah I'm time to forget But that's fine Okay alright Well I'm obviously

Going to put you In the spreadsheet Thank you AJ have you got A new year's resolution Oh I sure do I um I have quite a bit

Of expensive like Film equipment and stuff Yeah So I want to I want to get out there and I want to start making a few more short films. Oh, okay. What is it about? Finding the time? Do you have to find the time?

Yeah, finding the time. I mean, me and my brother shot like an audition yesterday and it took us probably 20 hours, and that was one and a half minutes. Oh, yeah, no, that sounds right. Okay. What about one of those, you know, all the rages, this new war movie, 1917,

it's done in one shot. A lot less editing, AJ. Think about that, maybe. Yeah. I quite like that, because I am so tired right now. I haven't had any sleep. Okay, well, we'll put you down on the list.

How many short films do you play? I feel like we need a number so when we call you back, you can say, yes, I've made five short films. Oh, five. Come on, at least two, I reckon. Okay, two. I think you've already done one. Are we counting this one?

No, he's only done the audition for one. No, no, that's not an audition. Okay, all right. Let's put you down for two short films. We'll call you back in March. Thanks, AJ. I thought it was June. June, March.

You just lost a couple of months. No, no, June was for the baby making because we thought we'd give her some extra time. Kerry, this is a New Year's resolution Megan could relate to. Yes, it could be. I was a little bit in, well, I need to save some money. My son's going to uni this year,

and I was a bit inspired by a blog that I read of Sarah Wilson's in Australia to do no more online shopping. Why are you doing that to yourself? Well, because I don't really need anything at the moment, and I really need to save the money, and it's much better for the environment, obviously. I read an article, Kerry and Megan, over the holidays

about how the fashion industry is really bad for this planet. It's dry. And we need to start recycling and wearing clothes more than once, Megan. I know lots of people in my feed are doing that thing where they don't buy any new clothes, so they can go shopping and stuff. Yeah. That's cool for them. That's the second part of my resolution.

So if I need anything, I'll go to the store, Foreign Concept, or I'll buy secondhand. Okay, all right. What about if it's a really good sale? Great news

for the perfume industry. I can go to the shop. Great news for the perfume industry if everybody's buying from an op shop though because when you buy it it's all musty

and smells like manna. Someone may have died in it. Jojo, yeah. All right, Kerry, we're going to put you on the spreadsheet, Kerry, if everybody's buying from an op shop though because when you buy it, it's all musty and smells like manna. You've got to give it a good... Someone may have died in it. Zhoozha, yeah. All right, Kerry, we're going to put you on the spreadsheet, Kerry, and we'll pop back in a couple of months to see how that resolution's going.

Somebody else said they're not buying a single item of clothing for a year. They've got enough. They've got everything they need for a year. The thing is, that's cool, but then come January 1st, you're going to go nuts. But that's fine because you've had a whole year of not shopping.

Yeah, yeah. I think you could easily do this. No, I could not. I don't, like Vaughn, I don't want to set myself the goal because I'll fail. Set yourself up for failure. Yeah. All right. Well, thank you for your news resolutions.

Got a lot on our Excel spreadsheet and we'll probably forget we've done this. Probably. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. TikTok has taken over, and Mark Zuckerberg has had secret meetings about how they're going to approach this. They're not very secret. There's leaked comments. I reckon he had his phone in the meeting,

and then the next day he was being advertised secret meetings. So already they are bringing out things to combat TikTok including new features in Boomerang. So if you're on Insta Stories

and you're going to do a boomy there is now slow-mo, eco and duo three new effects. Can we just pop to the social media centre in Ternania. How much of your holidays

do you reckon was engulfed in TikTok? So when I went to Raro I had 20 minutes of screen time a day and then the week I got back was seven hours. So there we go.

A lot. Seven hours a day? Yeah. And how much of that was TikTok? Five. Good lord. It was really bad.

So you would consider yourself somewhat of a TikTok expert? Yep. What? Sure. Okay, what is its main features that it had that Instagram doesn't that they'll be stealing? The fact that you can like put text on when you want to. You can be like, do, do, do.

You know what I mean? Yes. Yeah, I've seen a few of those videos. Yep. There's some cool effects. Like, yes, the twin do. You know what I mean? Yes. Yeah, I've seen a few of those videos. Yeah. There's some cool effects. Like, yes, the twin one. That's quite a good one. Like, it's supposed to be like you're dancing with someone,

but it looks like you're dancing with someone, but it's just yourself. Like, it's a mirror. And so that's one of the new ones. Right. Does this make sense? This is what makes it. This would be a bit down the screen,

and you'd be like, but do you have to do things at the same time, or could you offset them? No, you have to do things at the same time or could you offset them? No, you have to at the same time. So this is exactly what they did to Snapchat, isn't it? Instagram. Yeah. Really?

Yeah. Well, because we only went to Snapchat because they had cool filters on your face. Yeah. And then, mind you, Instagram's filters never really were up to the same. They're not as good. Nah. No, they're not. But then you just save it and then put it on Instagram.

But you're going to be able to slow down a boomerang. So slow-mo a boomerang. What do you want to slow down a boomerang for? I don't know. Sometimes it goes too fast if you're doing a pano.

Like a nice little... Yeah. An echo, so like blurry vision. So it's like drunk vision. And duo is a glitch effect. Right. On your boomies.

In my day, you just got drunk if you wanted to have drunk things. That's the problem with millennials. They want the easy road. We used to have to sit down with a cheap bottle of Kristoff and drink as much as we could before vomiting and that's how we got our blurry vision.

Shortcuts. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. They're dubbing it Mexit. Prince Harry and Meghan Markle have announced that they are going to be financially independent from the palace. Well, there's been a summer... What, a summons?

A summons? There's going to be the Sandringham Summit. I was just reading all the panicky headlines. Showdown. The Queen's called them in for a meeting. She's not... I've seen the crown. She's going to be pissed.

Scandal. But it's actually a Kiwi who broke the story. We're joined on the phone right now by the executive editor of The Sun, Dan Wotton. Good morning. Good morning. Has this been a wild couple of days for you? Yeah, it has been a wild week.

I mean, it's fair to say that there hasn't been a royal story this controversial. People are saying, actually, this is the most trouble that the monarchy's been in since the death of Princess Diana in 1997. But I actually broke the story in my parents' house in Wellington because I was on holiday. So it was all quite surreal for me. Wow.

Wait, you're saying this is the biggest thing for the Royals, yet just a couple of months ago, Prince Andrew was embroiled in a sex scandal with underage females. Well, yeah, you could say both are pretty bad, aren't they? I don't get why this one's, but why is this one bad? It's just this dude in his 30s with his wife being like, you know what, I'm not going to be king. I'm just going to step back and be financially independent.

I think because it's about how he can be financially independent, and that isn't actually an easy thing. The problem that you've got, right, is that Meghan and Harry want to take all of the good things that come with being part of the royal family, like keeping their HRH title, still performing royal duties, but then go and make money from commercial sector, from brands, and that potentially puts the family in a really difficult position. There's also been claims today from a very close friend of Meghan and Harry

that if they don't get their way, they are considering giving a bombshell interview where they would accuse the monarchy of being racist and sexist. So this was a big deal. You know, it's very, very difficult for the heir to the throne, Prince Charles, his son, Prince William. You know, these are two guys

that they absolutely heart of the royal family. Prince Harry has always son, Prince William. You know, these are two guys that they absolute half of the royal family. Prince Harry has always been their main man. They've always been incredibly tight. And all of a sudden that relationship has broken apart. So it is like an episode of The Crown that we are living right now. Oh, season eight or nine or whatever it'll be

will be insane. So is there, there's lots of reports that Harry and Will are at odds. They're not getting along. Is that actually legit? No, that is absolutely true. I broke the story probably about 18 months ago now that Meghan and Kate fell out initially over the way

that Kate heard Meghan speaking to staff at Kensington Palace. And since then, the row has just got worse and worse and worse and has developed into a full-on feud now, which is obviously very sad to see because they're here with these two boys who lived through what went on in 1997, walked behind their mum's coffin. No-one will forget that moment.

They were so tight. But definitely, and by the way, I'm not blaming Megan for this. It does happen, doesn't it? In life, sometimes your brother or sister ends up marrying someone who you just don't get on with, and it can put strains on that relationship. But obviously this is very different, given both of their central role to the UK, to the monarchy,

and previously, of course, they were a team. They worked together, they were united, and that's all split now. If they do this bombshell interview that you said about the racism and the sexism, like, are they? Because if the royal family and the royal establishment are, then this is just the truth being told.

Well, of course, but for Harry and Meghan to say that would obviously bring a huge crisis for the Queen, who is 93 years old, who has treated them personally very well. To be honest, the way that this has been taken today is much more that this is sort of Harry

and Meghan putting out a potential threat, sort of starting to throw a grenade to scare them all into giving them exactly what they want tomorrow. And I think blackmailing the Queen publicly really is a low blow, given that she, by all accounts, has been very close to Harry. I think Prince Charles has not been a great dad to Harry and William. And I think a lot of the issues come from that. But I think the Queen did everything right. And answer to your question, no, I don a lot of the issues come from that. But I think the Queen did everything right.

In answer to your question, no, I don't think the monarchy is racist and sexist. What I think it is, is an incredibly conservative establishment. And you've seen what happens when these feisty young women enter the monarchy, Meghan, Princess Diana, Fergie, even... Yeah, they don't like it, do they?

They don't like it, but that's why I have an issue when people say it's racist, because I think Diana and Fergie had just as much of a hard time as what Meghan had. Is it true that the Queen had no idea about this until you broke the story? She didn't know that they were going to release the statement. She had some idea about what they wanted to do in general.

But the problem is, is the statement was very, very specific about what they wanted to do, and that wasn't agreed. And remember, like, the Queen gives these guys the mansion that they live in, in Fogmore Cottage. Prince Charles funds them to the tune of £2 million a year at least. So really, if they want to keep getting those things, they have to work with them. So, you know, Meghan has also left now to Canada

after just three days in the country, and most people think she has no plans to return here on any permanent basis. So it's sad. It's quite shocking where it's all ended up. I just think she should have given it a bit more of a chance. You know, she hasn't even been here for two years. Dan, she was berated, though.

And can you blame Harry a little bit? Because, I mean, his mum died after she was berated by the media. But I disagree that she was berated. I mean, I'm obviously absolutely at the heart of it. And when Meghan married Harry, honestly, you could not have seen more positive coverage. Like, I hosted a party, so did most people in the UK. It was the most uplifting day in this country.

It didn't take long for that to all change, though. But the question is why. And the reason they have received some negative coverage right is because the Royal Family, one of their responsibilities is to stay out of politics and Meghan and Harry have decided to take a very different stance, you know they're getting very political

about issues like climate change but at the same time it was revealed that they had taken four private jet flights in 11 days and so personally I think I think what you would say that's been berated, I would say, no, that's holding the rich and powerful to account, which is exactly what the media should be doing. And it's certainly nothing that's based on race.

I just find it really offensive that they're out there preaching to us about climate change and they can't even get on a commercial jet. And remember, they're going to be flying first class. But honestly, hiring a private jet, if you're talking about carbon emissions, that's the worst possible thing you can do. Well, we appreciate your time this morning.

Dan Wharton from The Sun, thank you so much. Thank you, guys. Guys, I want to tell you about some great customer service I had yesterday. And I wasn't expecting it. It must be excellent for you to talk about. I was ready for a fight yesterday. I was walking into the store. I was like, I'm ready to throw down.

I'm ready. You were ready to the point where you'd planned your comebacks. Oh, yeah, yeah. You're like, these are the top five defences they're going to have and I've got an argument for all five of them. So I, yesterday, went to the Sunglasses Hut. It's just the Sunglasses Hut. No.

It's not Sunglasses Hut. No, because you walk into Sunglasses Hut and there are hundreds of sunglasses. Yes, yes, but they're saying we're a hut and we deal in the industry of the sunglasses. I call it sunglasses hut because there's hundreds of sunglasses and they're being stupid. And even when you're only referring to one, you always say my sunglasses.

Yeah, exactly. Where are my sunglasses? From here on, I have always called it sunglasses hut. Was that one of the missiles you had loaded in your argument cannon? So let me take you back A few weeks ago When I was on holiday And I was walking along

A path To go to visit An old fort From the 1700s In Puerto Rico Oh And there I was Walking along

Si Senor Walking along With my Ray-Bans Purchased only a couple Of weeks before At the Sunglasses Hut. The Hut where you'll find sunglasses.

Yes. It's not even a hut. It's often a store or a house. And it was really warm. It was sunny. Yeah. And I'm just walking along and the lens just falls out.

Is that actually... The right lens... It just jumped out. It was like, no more. It was like a comical movie where it just pops out, and hits the concrete and smashes, like, chips a corner, and then there's, like, cracks all the way up. And I'm just like, what just happened?

Like an iPhone 7. Like I've dropped my iPhone and the screen shattered. And I'm like, that's so weird that the lens just pops out. Yeah, right. It just popped out of brand new sunglasses. Let's try it out. And I'm like that's so weird that the lens just pops out yeah right it just popped out of brand new sunglasses let's try it out and I'm like

goodness so I take them off and what's happened is there's a little screw underneath and that's missing so the screw literally just fell out

the screw in the side that holds the hinge on no not the hinge for the thing that goes around the ear there's a little

screw underneath that I think clips the lens to the glass. So that'd work itself loose. Yeah, which is weird because they're only a couple of weeks old and that's never happened. Has that ever happened to you before? No.

So I obviously, I'm upset and I put the glasses in the case. As a person that wore glasses for many years, yes. Yes. All the time. When you wear glasses, you've always got to have one of those little screwdriver sets on you to like tie them up and screw. But I shouldn't need to screwdriver a set of glasses that I've had for two weeks. Not that early.

Yeah. So you can see, I get back yesterday and I'm ready to go to the sunglasses hut and lay down. What did you do with the sunglasses for the rest of the trip? Well, I only had a couple of weeks of sunny places, so I was just sulking. You just look after the one eye and wear... And pick up a pair of aerials from the local supermarket.

No, I tried. They didn't have cheap ones. So I went without. Anyway, so you can imagine yesterday, I'm walking to the sunglasses hut and wear... And pick up a pair of aerials from the local service station. No, I tried. They didn't have cheap ones. So I went without. Anyway, so you can imagine yesterday, I'm walking into the sunglasses, and I'm ready for a consumer showdown, because this is unacceptable. Yeah.

And I'm just like, in my head, I'm thinking, they're not going to believe me, because that's not a thing that ever happens. Because I'm struggling to believe you. Because it looked like I'd just dropped them on the ground. Yeah. But I wouldn't take them back if I'd done that. I'd just say that's my fault and deal with it and buy new sunglasses. Yeah. So you can imagine, I'm ready for a showdown and I walk in. She's lovely, the lady at the sunglasses hut. And I say, you'll never guess what's happened. I'm just walking

along and the lens came out. She's like, oh, that's alright, we'll just replace them. Because I said, oh, that's all right. We'll just replace them. Because I said, oh, the screen, a whole free pair. She's like, yep, just like that. Didn't have to pay anything. Oh. I know, that's what I'm saying. Did you take in the pair with the one lens?

Yeah. Because I would have been like, I'll just put the lens on it. And the, well, no, she just said, oh, no, I can fix them or just give you a new pair. I was like, oh, new pair. Was that to send them away to fix them yeah they're taking sunglasses in for a pair and they're like i would need to send them away to get fixed but i just couldn't believe it mount roth school but i said would it be cheaper and quicker for me to just take them directly to the person that fixes them yeah and they were like probably i said well give me the address and they did and you just went around i went straight there but i couldn't believe it because I was ready for a consumer fight. I can't believe she did that.

I hope she doesn't get in trouble. No, she won't get in trouble. But that only tells me they're charging too much for sunglasses. Well, no, because they could send them back to the manufacturer and just say these broke. Yeah, they'll send them back. But I couldn't believe it. I was like, that's great customer service at Sunglasses Hut.

Somebody said the same thing happened to their Ray-Bans and the Sunglasses Hut did a repair on them and they said, you definitely went for the better option getting the new one. I feel like the screw they put in wasn't meant to be in that hole. Because I don't want another screw and another lens. You know when you lose a screw or something and I've got this. By the way,

if you guys ever need a screw, I'll bring in my drawer of screws. Oh yeah, I've got a jar of screws. And you just try to find the closest looking thing and you screw it in. Imagine that with your sunglasses. It's got a Frankenstein bolt coming out the lens because they didn't have the right screw at the time, but apparently that's what happened there. Okay, well, great.

Excellent. So you wanted to give the sunglasses a show. Well, yeah, I feel like I should because I just... Well, you've been saying their name wrong all morning, so you probably owe them something. They are welcome. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Ten years and that's still got it.

We still got it. We didn't practice that. We still got it. It's still got it. In a got it. We didn't practice that. We still got it. Straight into it. In a month off, yeah. It's like riding a bike. No big deal. We're pros.

Don't worry about it. The applause must stop before I can, I can't hear myself over the applause. Today's fact of the day. That's just a little insight into what Vaughan's mind's like. Constant applause. And that TV laughter. Yeah.

TV canned laughter. I need my aux cord. Yeah, go for it, mate. Up and on. You're on. Am I? Batman. What happened?

You got some buffering issues. God. Batman. Batman. Batman. This is the theme song from the 1960s Batman TV show starring Adam West as Batman. Who was, of course, the mayor on Family Guy.

Who died last year or the year before. It was four years the other day since David Bowie died. If you'd asked me, I would have said two tops. Yeah, I would have said two. Adam might have died like three years ago. Don't David Bowie died. If you'd asked me, I would have said two tops. Yeah, I would have said two. Adam might have died like three years ago. Don't know.

Time flies. Well, this is about his sidekick, Burt Ward, a.k.a. Robin. Okay. He was,

Burt Ward has talked about his time as Robin on the 19, this only ran for two years, by the way, 1966 to 1968, but it's often referenced in, you know, the This only ran for two years, by the way. 1966 and 1968.

But it's often referenced in... You know, they all... Kapow! Whap! Yeah. Chop! Reference in movies and stuff, yeah. Burt Ward, who played Robin,

Dick Grayson in the 1960s Batman, was asked by the ABC to take a penis-shrinking pill as he was too well-endowed for the Robin outfit. You can get a pill that does that? I don't know. This is a 60,

so there's probably some pretty loose pills floating around. It's temporary because if someone was like, you can have this big role in a movie, but you have to take these penis shrinking pills. Yeah. Would you do it? No. I can't afford to lose any.

You'd never be asked to. Why are they asking me to take them in the first place? It's beyond me. I'd be like, you know shrinking means smaller, right? They'd be like, yes, Mr. Smith, we want you to play the shop mannequin. I'd be like, well, that I can understand. What about the balls? What about the balls?

You just want it in proportion. Yeah. Valid question. It's 90% balls. Because if you're in proportion. Yeah. Valid question. 90% balls. Because if you're taking those pills, does it do the whole... You'd want the whole lot to shrink. So what they ended up doing was putting Turkish towels in his undershorts.

Wow. Okay. I don't know. Are you googling Megan's googling? Right, okay. No, but look. It does... They have... Yeah, they have covered it up. Yeah, right. But then I don't know. Are you Googling it? Megan's Googling. Right, okay. No, but look. It does. They have. Yeah, they have covered it up. Yeah, right. But then I don't understand why because Batman wasn't.

That's a cartoon, Megan. No, it's not. It's not a photo. Yes, it is. It's a photo? The outfit, the. That's a photo? Yeah, no, that's a photo.

Okay. It was the 60s. The costumes were like really low end. Okay. I just looked up what a Turkish towel is. Is it just a towel? It's like a Peshtimal. It's like one of those.

They were really big on the beach last season. They're still pretty hot property. What's big on the beach this season? It's just a cotton towel. Just whatever you've got hanging around. It just does look like a really light tea towel with tassels. Yeah, so they put a whole bunch of that in his pants to kind of like pad down

Bert Ward's big Bert. Is it because he couldn't over-endow Batman? No, it's because they were very, it was like a family show and they obviously couldn't have a large penis bulge. You can't have questions at a 6. show. Oh, right. And they obviously have a large penis bulge. You can't have questions

at a 6.30 TV show, Megan. It's very hard to explain. Just thinking like any TV show, like Shortland Street, imagine if it was all just like the grey sweatpants when you're on Shortland Street.

Like they have a mufti day at Shortland Street. I think you get a real insight into why Chris Warner's been so popular with the ladies over so many years. So today's fact of the day is in the 1960s, Robin was asked to take penis shrinking pills. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do- pizza. Because a kiwi burger's basically just got beetroot on it, right? And an egg. And an egg sometimes.

Maybe some bacon. This actually had kiwi fruit on it. A pizza. Like a literal kiwi pizza. It looks like a ham and cheese pizza. So it's Hawaiian but instead of the pineapple it's kiwi fruit. And I'm,

now that I'm thinking about it, that could be good. Yeah, okay. It's got the sweetened tang of a pineapple. No, but there's too much tang. Too much tang in a kiwi fruit. And now that I'm thinking about it, that could be good. Yeah, okay. It's got the sweetened tang of a pineapple. No, but they're too much tang. Too much tang in a kiwi fruit. Too much tang. What about a golden kiwi fruit? They're my favourite.

They're my favourite kiwi fruit, the gold ones. Yeah, they're great kiwi fruit. God, they go right through you, though. I know, and you get carried away, eh? You're like, one's not enough. I'll eat eight. I'll eat eight. And then all of a sudden, la cucaracha!

What? Da-da-da-, la cucaracha. What? See what you sing on the toilet. I thought it was a song that really got people there theatrically. Without saying that you were on the toilet. I would try that. I think that would work though. I think that would be fine. Yeah. I do too.

No. But I mean, if you're anti-Hawaiian pizza, you're probably going to be anti this. Yeah. But you know what? I reckon it needs some, it's got the sweet, it's got the tangy, your kiwi fruit's bringing that to the party. Hot. Yeah.

Some jalapenos. Some peppers. A little bit of a hot. You really want to punish your butthole, right? I want to see what I can take. Or give. It won't be taking anything. It'll be doing a lot of giving.

More top. Very much so. But, yes, this has kind of got people either riled up or curious. See, I want to try this, but you know when you do homemade pizzas, it just ends up being way more money than when you're just buying them. Just buying a pizza. Because if you want to make a base and then all the ingredients and then you put it in the oven and it doesn't cook it.

It's just a ham and cheese or a good whatever. It's just a ham and cheese, right? Or a Hawaiian without the pineapple. Yeah. And then took it home, added your own kiwi fruit and gave it a re-grill. Oh, that's a good idea, actually. Yeah. Just to bring the kiwi fruit up to.

Because you wouldn't want a hot hot, but you'd want it warm. You wouldn't want it cold contrast. Well, same like pineapple because they hold its heat. Yeah, yeah. They hold its heat. It's really hot. Like a tomato. It would just be a quick grill.

Can you just take a wee kiwi fruit into like a pizza place and be like, slice this up. Can you put this on the top of my pizza? Yeah. What a weird request. I would. Just if I worked in a pizzeria. Would they be allowed to do that? If you brought in your own kiwi fruit.

That is weird. I don't know. BYO toppings. That's the problem. When I make a pizza at home, I put on way too many toppings. Yeah, and then it doesn't heat all the way through. And then when you cut it, it just slops. Yeah.

But I became a try. ZM's Fletch Warner Megan, the podcast. Was lucky enough to spend part of our time off in the lovely Cook Islands. Beautiful. Rarotonga. I love Rarotonga. It's easy. It's just, that's my, because you know me, I don lovely Cook Islands. Beautiful. Rarotonga. I love Rarotonga. It's easy. Because you know me, I don't like effort.

Yeah. I'm anti-effort. Yeah. It's easy. You go there, the currency's our currency. And every now and then they'll chuck you a triangle coin and you're like, ha, kids, check out this triangle coin. Amazing.

And it's just easy. Do they still have the long, low to the ground dogs? So when we went, as a group, a long time ago, we stayed in, I haven't stayed in that part of the island since. Okay. But where

we stayed was prolific with those short-legged, kinky-tailed dogs. Now, Murray Beach where we stayed, there was a lot of dogs, but they were more like, they looked like New Zealand farm dogs, just a kind of a weird mix. Oh, okay. But they were definitely mutts, but not as deformed as the dogs

that we came to know on our first trip here. Because you'd be like, hey, look at that dog. It was like a German shepherd on corgi legs. It was like those things where you fold a piece of paper three times and you get to draw different parts of the animal. That's what Rarotonga dogs looked like then. But they're still a mix, but no, not as much. Right.

Have they finished that abandoned hotel? Nope. Resort? They really should. Okay, that's my... Well, they really should, but it would probably cost more now to finish it than it would to just bowl the whole. I'm out of Rarotonga knowledge.

Rarotonga knowledge. Didn't get a scooter this time. Really? Did you go on the loop bus that goes around the... That's how I got around. We caught the loop bus, one small leg, but then just walked back. One time we were going to get something to eat and I waved the bus over and I said, oh, we're just going up the road to the moorings, which is this amazing fresh fish situation.

And the guy's like, that's going to cost you five bucks. I'm like, yeah. And he's like, no, it's just around the corner, just walk. To which I had said what we were going to do, but Sade's like,

let's catch the bus. So there was that great moment where you get to look at your partner and be like, even this guy agrees. And he was going to benefit off giving us a ride. But while we were there, I was put up a couple of stories and I got an Instagram message from my,

not my current back laser person. Yeah. Technician. Technician, yeah. The lady that lasers your back. Lasers the back. Yeah. And the butt.

They don't call in a separate person for the butt. They do the whole situation. Yeah. And they said, I hope you've got a rash shirt because you are not to expose the area to any sun. Right. And I was like, I don't know. I was being very careful.

Yeah. But then I got scared. So I went looking for a rash shirt. Who wears a rash shirt? So I couldn't find a rash shirt because I think boomers have moved into Hawaiian shirts full time now. Right. Like pool side Hawaiian shirt, beach side Hawaiian shirt.

Do they go swimming in the Hawaiian shirt? Hawaiian shirt. Maybe they take it off briefly for a dip. Right. Okay. But so I couldn't find one. So I had to buy one from this place that does like turtle tours. Yeah.

Where you drive down on a sea scooter and you go with a turtle tour. Oh, cool. So I bought that. Yeah. How much? And it was like 50 bucks, but I didn't get a rash shirt. I know. $50?

I know for not much more I probably could have done the turtle tour. But I did go back. I did go back to do the turtle tour. Yeah. But they were booked out because they were popping the turtle tour. But then I was wearing the rash shirt and everyone kept asking me about the turtle tour because no one buys it unless asking me about the turtle tour.

Because no one buys it unless they go on the turtle tour. Does it have all the advertising on the back of it? It says their name, where adventure begins. It's got a turtle on it. Why didn't you just put sunscreen on or wear a t-shirt? Have you ever tried swimming in a cotton t-shirt? I felt like it was trying to kill me. What colour is your rashie? It's black and then white arms.

It's like a raglan tee. A raglan tee rashie. And a rashie. But then I felt like raglan rashie. It was also like, I know from my previous experiences, as a teenager that wasn't like stoked on how his body looked, you wore a t-shirt swimming. Yeah. Because that was some mysterious way of covering body looked, you wore a t-shirt swimming. Yeah.

Because that was some mysterious way of covering the fact that you were a little chubby. Even the fact that the water makes the t-shirt stick to you. Yeah, which makes you look But it's all black so you're hoping that it's going to like slime you or something. But then I didn't want people to think I was wearing a rashie because I was ashamed of my

body because I don't give a flying faggita about what other people think about it. Yeah. So if anybody looked, like some people would be like, how was the turtle tour? Yeah. And I would be like, because of this, I'd be like, oh, it was great. That's what I started saying at the end.

Yeah, right. I totally recommend it. Right. Even though I hadn't done it. Right. I'd say, I'm wearing this because I can't have sun on my back. It's not because I'm worried about my man boobs. You're one of those people on holiday that someone says a passing comment to

and then suddenly you hear all about that. So I've been getting my back lasered. No, I didn't even say that. I left a mystery in there. Oh, right. Okay. I wonder why I can't get sun on his back. That would be the...

Can't get sun on my back. Now you've got a $50 rash shirt you're never going to wear again. No, I'm going to wear it swimming at home. Oh, my God. Because I can't get the sun on my back until this procedure's done. Are your girls at the age where they're embarrassed by you? Nah. Soon?

Probably. This is going to speed it along if you keep wearing this rash shirt. Dad in a rashie. And I wore a big wide-brimmed hat the whole time to keep the sun off my... Did you protect your lasered bits from the sun while you were away? I didn't need to, did I? Because it's... Your butt hole. Did I not

see any sun? No. No. See any action? Like just in the general sort of area. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. The Podcast. the general sort of area.