ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Megan Podcast - January 14 2019

Episode Date: January 13, 2019

We think Fletch is radioactive , Vaughan refuses that he got scammed and stupid holiday arguments.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hello and welcome to the Fletch, Vaughan and Megan podcast, brought to you by Spark. Get the new Nokia 7.1 from $499 on a Spark prepaid rollover value pack. And now, on with the podcast. Hello, good morning, welcome to the show, Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. Welcome to 2019, everybody. Yes, first show of the year. A professional news read from you two, aren't you? No mistakes after the break.

Thanks, guys. You shouldn't go too close to a dolphin on your jet ski. You don't want a dorsal fin in your jet intake on your kawasaki. No. That would be a... God. How would you look like a cool dude if you had a dolphin blood squirt? You know that fin that comes out the back of the jet ski? Yeah, yeah, yeah. It goes up. Because you're look like a cool dude if you had a dolphin blood squirting?

You know that thing that comes out the back of the jet ski? Yeah, yeah, yeah. It goes up. Because you're sucked in a dolphin. There's blood squirting out there. Oh, I saw him. And it's half like... And half like... It's a lovely picture to start the year with.

Great way to start the show, everyone. Wow, I didn't go too close to them on the jet ski. Only because I don't have a jet ski. If I had a jet ski, I'd be right in there. Yeah, yeah, I didn't go too close to them on a jet ski. Well, only because I don't have a jet ski. If I had a jet ski, I'd be right in there. Yeah, I didn't want to criticise them because I probably

would have too. Well, yeah, but you wouldn't want to get too close. You'd come off second best if they jump you. People, they land in boats, don't they, sometimes? Yeah, they were heavy.

Well, like 400 odd kgs a dolphin. That's the thing, they don't look like it. They look real. They can't. They hold their weight well. They're spongy and soft. No, no, that's the thing. They're hard. They can't. They hold their weight well. They're spongy.

They are soft. No, no. But then they're hard. They're hard. Constant exercise. Pure muscle. Yeah. Great cardio being a dolphin.

And you come up, you're like. Back down, I go. Down into the ocean. How was wake up for you guys this morning? Have you ever been on the Euro time zone? Well, it's great because it's like 12 hours. It's completely the ocean. How was wake up for you guys this morning? Have you ever been on the Euro time zone? Well, it's great because it's like 12 hours. It's completely the opposite.

It would be 6pm. So it's evening for us. We're very chipper but come back to us in like, I don't know, five hours. Oh yeah, lunchtime I'll be a sack of shit.

A grumpy sack. Yeah. Because you know my tip, if you're ever going to do a long haul flight, get a sleeping pill. Yeah. So I like get into my, get into my like, you know, comfy tip, if you're ever going to do a long-haul flight, get a sleeping pill. Yeah. So I, like, get into my, like, you know, comfy clothes, ready for a big, like, eight or nine hours.

Because, you know, I can knock myself out for eight or nine hours and realise my sleeping pills were in my suitcase. Oh! R.I.P. sleep. I think I slept four hours on an 18-hour flight. Oh, my God. Because I made a deal with Sade. She had one lorazepam left. Yeah. And I was like, Harvey made a deal with Sade. She had one little Razipam left. Yeah.

And I was like, Harvey's in the little Razzie. And she's like, deal. And then we got on the plane and I looked across and she just popped the whole thing. Had a sip of seven urine block. And I was like,

damn it. So I watched Cars 3 and cried. On the plane. My God. Cars 3 got me so bad. No, but I tell you, it's the altitude that makes you cry more. It is.

I like to think it was too. Yeah. Goddammit, number 95. Why'd you do this to me before? All right, you lot, listen up. It's story time. All right, the first story time for 2019. Have you guys done a form and written 18?

Yep. Yeah, nice. Very hard to turn an eight into a nine. And also I loved, because you know I love doing two circles for an eight. Such an aesthetically pleasing number to me, but nine, I'm just like. How do you do it? Do you roll it around like? Yeah.

Yeah, because Andy told me off. I did two circles. She's like, Dad, no, you can't do an eight like that. You've got to do it like this. You did the flow around. I used to do it that. Yeah, but I like two circles too. Looks nicer.

Big issues. We're tackling the Murleys. All right, headline one, man looks pretty guilty. Headline two, point one, enough to stop crime. And headline three, tongue lashing for Californian homeowners. I think I liked one. Tongue lashing's a telling off, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I want to know about the tongue lashing because I feel like it's a telling off, but then it might also be like a pash. Okay. Oh, off, but then it might also be like a pash. Okay. Oh, okay. Three then. All right. Anybody get any pashes over? The brown man, Megan.

We saw you pashing on Instagram. Oh, yeah, we did. I was a bit like, oh. Let's talk about this. Why? It was out there, wasn't it? We weren't pashing. No,

but you were just like, grrr, grrr, grrr. No, my tongue wasn't out at all, actually. I thought tongue had penetrated mouth.

No, it hadn't. Oh, okay. It was like a public display of affection, but on Instagram. I'll be honest, I saw it starting,

I skipped, but then like the start of the next one was a bit like. Are you talking about when he like switched my face? Yeah, that, but I thought there was another one as well. No. Was there a New Year's Eve patch?

No. I'm just starting. It's like the second break of the first show back. He's already starting. He's already starting. Do what Fletch does and don't Instagram your patches. I didn't Instagram my patch. Mind you, I think where you were patching,

no phones are allowed. Is that right? Yeah. Vaughn, that took eight or nine minutes. So I told Vaughn a story after New Year's and I said,

may I not repeat this story. You're an idiot then. You're an idiot. I want this story. Okay, quick, get through this. I'm sitting in a lovely family resort and I'm reading filth that would have got you burned at the stake 400 years ago. Why don't you tell me?

I love filth. By the way, both Vaughn and his wife kept sending me hot pictures of people. You're most welcome. You are absolutely most welcome. All right. What are we doing? We did pretty well, though. We had, like, your type. Yeah, you did well. You're typed down.

We go to California now. A family. Concentrate. Concentrate. He's just thinking about those photos. They got home and they've got a security system, much like you've got, Vaughan, you know that one, you put up the cameras and it records.

Yep. When there's movement. When there's movement. You can check the apps and stuff. So they got home and they were like, well, there's some movement. There's quite a bit recorded on the early hours of the morning. That sounds worrying.

Especially given the tongue-tied people. Five in the morning. They were shocked to watch the video. Hours and hours. Three hours, in fact, of a male trespasser at their doorbell. What?

Three hours. And that man spent three hours licking their doorbell. And there is footage of this. In fact, you may... He's eyeballing the camera while he does it.

What is... That's one of those... That's one of those ring... That looks like one of those ring cameras. Yeah. Where you ring the doorbell and it turns on the camera.

Yeah, the camera's in the thing. That's yucky. It's one thing to do that as a bit of a laugh for like 10 minutes, but he stood there for three hours licking a doorbell. Yeah, I don't know if he's one of those weird, you know those people that marry the Eiffel Tower or those. Acid. Acid.

Mushrooms. Illusionogens. It didn't take police long to track the man down because it's a very clear photo. And he gave them three hours of footage. Robert Daniel Arreo is 33. He faces a misdemeanor charge for petty theft and prowling. Did he explain himself?

No. Well, the law's never... Petty theft and prowling. They've never gone into the specifics of tonguing their doorbell for three hours. I mean, would you say

it's a very specific charge? Would you say it's a victimless crime? Unless he'd slobbered so much that the doorbell didn't work anymore. And the doorbell couldn't give consent, so.

This is true. But the doorbell also didn't say no. That's true. Or at any stage ask him to stop. It's an inanimate object. Ding. Is that yes?

Ding, ding, ding. Sounds very positive. Ding. Yeah, and you know like doorbells, when you push them, it goes like, ding dong. It sounds very positive. Yeah. Anyway. Ding dong.

It's disgusting. If you want to see the photos for yourself, you can Google online. You probably don't need to. No. We've dealt with that enough. I've got a list of the names that were declined as baby names in 2018. Now, it obviously is not very well known that you can't have titles. You can't have anything to do with religious titles either.

And you couldn't call someone Dame, could you? Or Bishop. No, nothing like that in New Zealand. Duke's the big one because that's a cool name. But you can't call a kid Duke. Yeah, and especially given that Chris Brown's daughter's name is Royalty, then Kim Kardashian's got Saint. So there's a lot of, like, that's okay overseas, but not here.

It's not flying here. And Sir, obviously, Beyonce and Jay-Z's. We've had some famous ones, haven't we, in New Zealand that have been denied? You mean outside of titles? Yeah. Like, because didn't someone want to call their kids Benson and Hedges? No, that happened. It's twins.

Oh, God. I thought they said no. No, but they have to have grounds to, you can't just be like, that's. It's twins. Oh, God. I thought they said no. No, but they have to have grounds to, you can't just be like, that's a bad name. It was Black and Decker that got turned down. Yeah, because I don't think you can call your kid a colour, can you? No, you can't call your kid a colour. There's swear words, you can't use swear words.

But then if you have a kid And you want to call it Asshole Then like Why'd you have it? Give it Give it to somebody Who wants one Asshole Ace

Hole Sure Hole So here's a few of the names And obviously there's like Prince Yeah Four times

That got denied Just normal spelling Because Prince The musician died Semi-recently, right? And so I guess people... That's a cool name. Yeah.

Give it a whirl. Alternative spellings of that as well. Prince and Prince with a Y in the middle also got denied. You can't just change the spelling of it. That doesn't work. It's not a personalised plight. Prince is taken. Can I put an E in three instead of an E?

No. Someone wanted to call their kid Judge. That was denied. Justice. J-U-S-D-Y-C-E is not allowed either, as well as just Justice. How are people allowed to have kids if they want to call their kid that?

That's not, that's, come on. Come on. Major was denied, because that's obviously a title. The most popular one on this list that was denied last year was just calling your kid King. Not allowed. King with two I's is not allowed. King!

King! There was a Sir, a Sire, three Saints obviously after Kim's son that's made it popular. There was a lot of a sire, three saints. Obviously after Kim's son, that's made it popular. There was a lot of royalties of many different spellings. There was a royal dash kahurangi. Why not just call them kahurangi? Like, why do you need the royal at the start?

Maybe they did. Because that's the thing. This list doesn't follow up with what they did. They should. They should have to. I would love to know. There was a couple of queens that got denied. Princess Dixie Rose.

I'm not even kidding you. That sounds like a name of a chihuahua, doesn't it? Or like someone who thinks like a pit bull crossed with a staffy is cute. Yeah. Oh my God, it's just adorable. I'm going to call her Princess Dixie. There was an Allah, which is not allowed.

And I don't know why this was denied. Oh, so you can't have any religious situation. No. Oh, see, if you wanted, you shouldn't do this

with your kid's name, but if you wanted to really test him, you could go really like niche religion. Okay. Like what? Well, what about L. Ron Hubbard?

You can't call your kid L. Ron Hubbard. No, you guys are good. You guys are good. You're just wanting to get a place on the spaceship. Yeah. Or you get your booster and go back and it's like, accepted, your child is now called L. Ron Hubbard. You're like, damn it.

I thought they would back up on that one. Oh, well, L. Ron, come on. Let's go home. There was not one but two cases where someone wanted to call their kid dash, like, line, line, like Roman numerals for what's line, line. Two. Two. Oh, my God.

Who are these people? Not one but two. You should be instantly... What was their first kid called? One. Yeah. I was going to say you should be instantly deported, but you can't deport your own citizens, can you?

Well, deport them to Rome if they're so fond of the numerals. FEM. ZM. So there's Dry July, there's Movember. I'm trying to think of month-long kind of challenges. Mocktober. We only do mockers for the whole month. I thought you were saying mocktails.

Oh, that'd be good. Both. Oh, no, no, mocktails. Waste of time. That much sugar, you might as well be getting plastered. There's sugar-free September, wasn't there? There's sugar-free September. What?

Yep. No, that doesn't flow. I need it to flow. There is a Sugar-Free something. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, okay. We'll find a better name for that.

Yeah. Gay May, where you just try being gay for a month. Well, I think, who is it? Is it Logan Paul? He's just copped some backlash for saying that, Vaughn. So maybe just watch. What did he say? He said he's going gay for May. Gay for May. Or gay for the month. Gay for the month. He's just Copped some backlash For saying that Vaughan So maybe just What did he say? He was gonna

Gay for May Gay for May Or gay for the month Gay for the month It's like But dude if you wanna Like no one cares If you wanna just

Be gay Just be gay That's absolutely fine Yeah But you can't Yeah okay Different story But Janu Hairy

Is a New Okay A new one That's been started By Laura Jackson. She is from Wauquish... I practised.

Wauquisher. Wauquisher. So that's like... Is that in the UK? Wauquisher. Wauquisher. What does it look like? Wauquisher.

Wauquisher. Oh yeah, Wauquisher. Wauquisher. Wauquisher. That's in the Northern Hemisphere. So this is all good, but I'veisher. Wilkwisher. Wilkwisher. That's in, like, northern hemisphere. So this is all good, but I've just been in the northern hemisphere. It's cold. You're wearing lots of clothes.

You can get away with it. You can grow your hair everywhere, and no one even sees it, so it's not a problem. You're not having pubes pop out the side of your togs, are you? January isn't picking up when it's summer. Yeah. Not happening. What's the idea behind this?

So it is raising money for charity. It's not happening. What's the idea behind this? So it is raising money for charity. It's a female version they're calling it of Movember. So just like don't shave anything for a month.

And like there are women who do that and it's your choice and who cares. You can't grow that much hair in a month. You want to go for like

hairy 19 or something and go the whole year. Well if you're trying to make a statement don't half-ass it. Like get in there Yeah, you can. You want to go for like hairy 19 or something and go the whole year. Yeah. Well, if you're trying to make a statement, don't half-ass it. Like get in there and grow it. Yeah. Because I got home from my Europe trip and I was like, wow, okay. That was like two weeks.

What, did you not look at it the whole time you were away? Not down there because I've got laser. I've just been like armpits and legs. I was like, that's way. What, did you just not look at it the whole time? No, I mustn't have. So it was because you had the laser down there, didn I've got laser. I just mean like armpits and legs. I was like, that's great. Why didn't you just not look at the whole time? No, I mustn't have. Because you had the laser down there, didn't you? Yeah.

On your behind. That's all good. But like when I was pulling up my jeans, I was like, ow, that hurts. Caitlin, would you do this? What about if you've got some Tinder dates or something? Nah. Because you have to shave your legs. It's yuck.

And even just like It feels It's so good though When you leave it for a little bit And then you shave them And you get into bed Oh in the winter I can

I totally get it In the winter Like I just Full blown Give up Give up Sometimes I don't shave it for ages Just for the joy of like

Having a clean shave A good shave Yeah You're like God that feels so good Yeah I get that Treat yourself I get that with like shaving my head.

But then if I leave it too long, does it clog up the razor really bad? Yeah. And you spend half your time going tap, tap, tap, tap, tap on the sink trying to get the hair out. Yeah. FBM, the podcast. Peter Alexander. Pajamas.

Pajama magnate. He's an Australian guy. We've met him. He came in, didn't he? Very flirtatious. He's so fun. He did flirt with you, didn't he? He did, both times. Very flirtatious.

He, well, I don't know if, maybe, he's come into fire because his name is the brand. Yeah. But the brand Peter Alexander has been accused of placing an extra cost on plus-size garments and people are saying it's effectively a fat tax.

Right. So if you're buying some pyjamas, and what, you're a small or a medium or a large? Well, even, so the ones they've compared are the Tropical Vibes Mid-Short, which are some shorty jam jams. Oh, okay. Good for some.

The sort of pyjamas I always see, and I think, should get a pair of those, because I remember fond memories of shorty jam jams. Oh, okay. Good for some. The sort of pyjamas I always see and I think, should get a pair of those because I remember fond memories of Shorty Jam Jams when I was a kid. But then I don't like wearing a shirt to bed, so it would be a waste of time. I don't wear anything to bed. Peter Alexander is not getting any. Well, that's how you dodge in the fat tax.

Yeah, go and be naked. Not that you'd be taxed. Thank you. Much. Although, by the way, so I got this shirt in Europe when the airline lost my luggage for 48 hours. Don't you have one exactly the same as that? Yeah.

I'm sure I've seen you wearing that before. Don't branch out or anything. Maybe because I thought my bags had gone forever. So I was like, well, I want my favourite t-shirt back. And so I found this and I'm a medium in New Zealand, but this is an XL. I was like, how dare you, Europe? Ouch. That's unbelievable. I was like, how dare you, Europe? Ouch.

That's unbelievable. I would expect that from Southeast Asia. Yeah, but not Europe. No. They're going around with all their skinny hip size. Because you see a fair few fat people on the beaches in European TV shows. You know they've got fat people too. What do they wear? I don't know.

Yeah, I don't know what's going on. No good for the self-esteem. But so if you went up from your standard sizing into the Pella Alexander Plus, and there's size 1 plus, 2 plus, 3 plus. Okay. Bigger sizes. And is that above L? Yes.

Okay. Yeah, yeah. So they don't do XL, they do like 1 plus? No, no, they do. They do extra small, small, medium, large, extra large. Above that is the Peter Alexander plus range. Right. And there's one, two, and three.

Standard sizing, extra small, small, medium, large, extra large, $49. 95 Australian. Okay. Peter Alexander plus, $59.95. So there's a $10 price difference. Now people are saying that's a fat tax.

And I must say while I generally see that side of that, I'm kind of siding with Peter Alexander's designers who say

it's extra fabric consumption and it's a completely different design. And there's not as many of them, so they can't bulk make

to make it economies of scale and make it cheaper. Seriously? Because they're not already making like $30 off each garment anyway. You're the fool that would buy spending that much money on pajamas. I mean, I'd just go to Kmart and get something that would blow into flames if you stand too close to a candle.

You know that between each size, there's like probably a little bit of extra fabric. It's not enough to equate to $10. Do you know who's winning? And also, if they're going to do it, why there should be a price difference for all of them. Smalls a certain price, medium is a certain price, large.

But I guess like those small, mediums and large they can make on the scale that they're going to be able to make enough of them to keep the cost per unit down. That's rude. Do you guys have those

skinny adult friends that can buy like children's size clothing? Yes. Way cheaper than adults clothing? Do you know my best friend? Yes. Oh, Ella, yeah.

She's like, I want a child size Adidas t-shirt. It's Ella, yeah. She's like, I bought a child-sized Adidas t-shirt. It's so much cheaper. I was like, no. All children's clothing translates well to adults.

Like if you saw your skinny friend wearing a t-shirt that said, Daddy's Little Princess, you're kind of a bit like, eww. The Top Six with Vaughn Smith.

Hello there. Lime scooters are our first Top Six of the year. Blah, blah, blah. Lime scooters are first top six of the year. Blah, blah, blah. Lime scooters have spread their wings and gone to different parts of the country. Did I say Tauranga got them now? Or did I think I spelled somebody? Or they're definitely going to get them.

Yeah. Lots of people have got them. Dunedin is included. Now, it didn't take long, but Lime Scooter users have tackled Dunedin's Steepest Street and the world's steepest street, or so we'll keep claiming it until we're told. Otherwise, as they've been skedaddling down there on Lime Scooters

down Baldwin Street. That's madness. Now, police are saying it's absolute reckless craziness. Yeah. They're cracking down on it. And they've been periodically visiting the steep street today and saying you shouldn't be doing that because it's an extremely high risk area. I don't know if I trust the brakes.

No. Like sometimes you get your higher alarm and you're just like, oh, those brakes are a little loose. Yeah, you'd want to put it through a full 32-point warrant of fitness safety check situation before you took it up there. No way in hell I'd be doing it. No, I wouldn't be. Because if the brakes were good at the top,

you'd be putting a lot of pressure on them. They might not be the same brakes halfway down. So with that in mind, today's top six, the top six other places in New Zealand to take a lime scooter instead of Baldwin Street. Number six, and this is for Danine, who I believe are the closest to this location. Yep. That sign at the bottom of the South Island with all the place names and how far away they are.

And bluff. It might take you a few charges to get there on your Lime. If you've got a good solar charger. I don't know if you can charge on the go. That would be a good thing for Lime. Have some little solar panels. Some long-distant Lime and have like a solar panel backpack that you're all with it. Okay.

It doesn't sound very daring though, does it? Not really. No. But, I mean, the locals will freak out. They'll think you're a witch or something. True. Presumably attack you. Number five on the list of the top six other places in New Zealand to take a Lime scooter

rather than up Baldwin Street. Up the Crown Range. From the Queenstown side. You've got to go from the Queenstown side over because you want that photo at the Kadrona pub on the other side. And you're parked up outside. You're always like hi. Back in the car

and the pub guy comes in. He's like not even stopping for a drink you cheapskate. Cover a photo and then bugger off, good. But on your Lime Skid, you'd be out of charge so you'd probably be able

to get on it and then catch a taxi to Waterloo. Number four on the list of the top six other places to take a Lime Skid in New Zealand, if not up Baldwin Street.

While you're in the area of Kadrona, pick your own ski field and get that mofo your own ski field and get that mofo up the ski field. Right, okay. Because some of them do the scenic chairlift, so you'd be able to take it on the chairlift

like a little snow scooter. There's no snow this time of year. A bit rocky, but limes can handle that. And then scoot straight back down it. Yeah. Go on, do it. I want to see you hurt yourself. I wonder how those would be if you took the wheels off. I know, that's what I was thinking. Like it's like a down it. Yeah. Go on, do it. I want to see you hurt yourself. I wonder how those would be if you took the wheels off. I know, that's what I was thinking. Like it's like a single ski.

Yeah. Well, you know, people do ride stuff like that. Okay. Horrible people, like. Horrible people. Terrible. I just put some handlebars on a snowboard. And that plate you stand on.

And a seat, a lovely seat. Oh, this sounds like me. This sounds awful. That plate you stand on on those scooters is heavy. Imagine that rocking into the back of you on the ski field. Those are snowboarders that hate me more than skiers. I know, they would. They'd probably find a common enemy in you.

Yeah. Number three, speaking of a pick your own, get your lime scooter to a pick your own berries situation somewhere near you. Those rows between strawberries particularly are begging for a scooter to scream down them silently. Scaring baby boomers, Gen Xs, Gen Ys, millennials and whatever we're calling kids alike. Just get it down. Maybe just even get the lime going. Bend down, just put a hand down.

That's how you pick your strawberries real quick. Nice. Done. And then you can't slide real quick. Nice. Done. And then you can't slide into it and eat heaps. No. Number two,

on the top six places in New Zealand to take a lime scooter if not down Baldwin Street, how about the desert road? Ooh. Clock a top speed of 20-something kilometres

an hour and then get sucked under a stock truck as it flies down that stretch of highway. Easily exceeding the 90k speed limit set for trucks. You're not wrong. Easily.

I mean, sometimes you're driving down there and you're like, I'm being passed by a truck. This is nuts. And the number one place in New Zealand to take a lime skater for today's top six, get it up the mount and get that summer selfie. A bit gravelly coming down, but sure.

Super gravelly coming down and quite steep going up, but worth it for that sick selfie once you bit gravelly coming down, but sure. Super gravelly coming down and quite steep going up, but worth it for that sick selfie once you get to the top of the, look what I've just done. Aren't I great? I'm like Threadman Hillary.

We literally did that last month. Except it was Threadman Hillary who was wearing Lululemon and some oversized sunglasses. We're more or less the same. You'll see me on the $5 note one day. That's today's top six. Fletch, Vaughn and Megan.

The podcast. Over Christmas you go home and maybe it's the first time you've been home because the end of the year gets pretty chaotic and maybe even if you're like, I like to go to my parents quite a bit. Yeah. And I had them in for a little while

and you get there and there's guarantee, and I know you guys have faced it as well, there'll be something to fix. Like something will be on the blank. Or technology is wise. There's never anything like handyman to fix because Dad just does that. There's no way I could do that.

What I'm happy to trade with my Dad. I go there, fix his phone, work out why it won't take any more photos, and it's full. But for some reason, its default is to save onto the internal memory, but then there's an SD card in there, he's telling me. Right. He doesn't call it an SD card. He said, put something in there, and it won't go onto that.

So you had to fix that for him. So you just have to change the default storage to the SD card. How long had you been in at home before that came up? There was other things I had to do before that. There was the printer. That's always on the blink. For some reason, mum needs to print things off a lot. Yeah.

And then... Baby boomers love a printed out backup copy. Yeah. Oh, well, you've got to have it. You'd be mad not to. You'd be mad, absolutely mad not to. The TV, because there was a lightning strike and one of the HDMI ports caught fire or something.

So. Okay. They need a new TV. But until then, every now and then there's a problem with the TV and that needs to be resorted to. There was a lightning strike and the HDMI caught fire. That sounds like a serious thing. Yeah, I'm surprised it didn't kill the whole TV.

But just one HDMI port, buggered. So anyway, that's all sorted. There was a pretty quickly a doubt with, but my wife's stepdad, Pete, he's always been across it all, technology, but it's got to the point now where it's just snuck past. Oh, no. And, like, he loved our security.

When I was showing him on my phone, I can see what's happening at home on an app. He was like, got to have one. And he bought one, but then it wasn't up when I got there. Yeah. And I was like, oh, what's happening? And then Robin, my mother-in-law, was like, get Warren onto the Arlo thing.

Pete's like, no, no, no, no, no. It's it. No, no, no, no. Because he doesn't want to bother you. No, no, no. And I was like, oh, we'll get it into the Arlo thing. He's like, no, no, no, no, no. I said, no, no, no, no. Because he doesn't want to bother you. No, no, no, no. And I was like, oh, we'll get it all set up. He's like, yeah, all right then, all right then. And that was one of those ones where we sat down and we're like,

all right, what's your, we've got to register to an email, so what's your password? For what? Oh, don't get me started on this. Well, it says here it needs your Samsung, because you've got a Samsung phone. Yeah. And he's like, is that the same as my email?

I was like, I don't know. It's your password, mate. I don't have these emails. You tell me. If you've got one, he's like, I've got different passwords to different things. I was like, let's try them all. I can beat you for time. My dad picked me up from the airport, literally got my bags.

I got in the van, sat in, put my seatbelt on. He passes me his phone and says, it won't ring anymore. What was wrong with it? What was and says, it won't ring anymore. What was wrong with it? It won't ring anymore. The phone was on silent. Oh my God, please. So I had to make sure, I had to turn the sound notifications on. Right.

So I turned them off somehow. My mum couldn't get apps on her iPhone that she's had for a year. And I said, well, have you set up with your Apple ID password? She's like, I don't know what that is. What's that? It took me all day to figure it out and find the Apple ID in her password notebook. Yeah. Which I...

I tell you what though, a hacker from Nigeria is not getting the password notebook, are they? No, I defy you. Safe as hell. I know. I'll hand you that password notebook and you still won't be able to find it. It's gone from, the password notebook has literally gone from the stupidest idea to one of the greatest. Like that. Because they can get it all if it's saved on your computer or there's the phishing and everything.

Having your password in a password notebook to sign the computer is actually ridiculously safe now. It's brilliant. They've gone full circle. They've outsmarted us with their own dimness. Pretty much. But again, I'm not knocking them

because we need their help when it comes to doing things like putting up picture frames. Anything that involves a hammer. Dad, I can't find a stud. And then he gets his little stud finder out and he goes,

beep, beep, found one and he points it at himself and you're like, I can't find a stud. And then he gets his little stud finder out and he goes, beep, beep, found one. And he points it at himself and you're like, I'll put up with it. I'll take your dad joke. I'll put up with it. Or he says, your mother was using one of these the night she found me. And you're like, yeah, okay. His dad jokes are so much better than yours. Hey, he's been a dad for a lot longer.

He's got a lot more breakfast. So we want to know, over the summer break, Christmas, when you went home to your parents' house, what did you have to fix? What technology needed? In Fletcher's case, a flick of a switch. What technology you had to deal with over Christmas? When you go home to your parents' house and they say, oh, why are you here? I must.

You've got to fix this. I had to record mum's voicemail message on her cell phone because I didn't know how to do it. And then they're like, you just record it. But there's no excuse for that because that has been around for a very long time. Yeah. That's laziness.

I don't use. You've got to cut them free. Yeah. Like, do people bother with voicemail now? I've got one that's like, don't leave one because I don't check this. You know if you're like true friends with someone, if they leave you a voicemail, then cut them free.

If it's urgent, they'll call back. Yeah, exactly. Some text messages in, someone said, Vaughn, you're actually to blame for this because you were talking about how much fun your Amazon Alexa thing is. Yeah. And mum bought one. Oh, no.

I'm so sorry. No. Because that's even quite confusing Yeah right For me at times To get her to teach her things Yeah They said all of Christmas was just mum saying

Alexa And then I was like She wasn't close enough Or she wasn't speaking loud enough Or they should know And then she'd call it useless because it couldn't help her. How's Alexa with the Kiwi accent? Pretty good.

Pretty good? Pretty good. Pretty good. Vanessa, you had to help mum when you went back for Christmas? Yeah. So good. Happy New Year's.

It's so good to have you guys back on the radio. I've missed you guys for Christmas. Stop, Vanessa. Thank you, Vanessa. Stop it. So I had to go down to Taranaki at Christmas to see my mum, who the previous Christmas I set out with an iPad. She's never been online before in her life.

So I taught her how to use it over a very frustrating week. But this Christmas I went back down because she said she had recipes she really wanted to see. She couldn't find where they were. So I got her iPad out and said I'll have a look she goes I've put it in my favourites list

have a look and see if you can find it so I get this iPad out first we have to get the password notebook out and find it and we get it in cracker

which is great and then she even puts her four digit pin in the password notebook yeah yeah wonderful

and um and it wasn't difficult. It was like day to birth, but anyway. I'll write it in the notebook just in case I forget my birthday. You know I'm getting dottery. So we go in there and I think, okay, well, what's the recipe we're looking for? And we get going and start looking at it. And then I said to her, why do you have so many things as your favourites? That was the first part.

She goes, isn't it just like likes on Facebook? I'm like, no. It means you're putting them in a tab that they're your favourite things. She goes, I do that every time I go online. I'm like, oh, okay. And the next thing was, she had about 250 browser pages open on her iPad.

So I sat there and closed every single page that she had ever looked at, whether it's about cute dogs, knitting, you name it, she looked at it and it took me 10 minutes to close every single page she had opened. Oh my God. So those do sneak

up on you though if you're clicking links out of like mail or whatever and it always flicks up in a new tab in Safari which you never use day to day. I think the funny thing was she said to me she phoned a guy at an IT place and he hung up on her. Because my dad always says, oh, take him to the Spark

store. They love that. God, the people at the Spark store must just see a baby boomer coming in and just say, I'm taking my break now. If you went to the Spark store and I encourage people who do it, not on the down low,

but have baby boomer bingo. And draw up a little square of 4x4 and put the 16 most common, you know, things in there and see how long

into the day you can tick that off. Vanessa, thank you for your call. Kate, you had to help out Grandma at Christmas. Yeah,

so I get home to my dad's for Christmas, and he goes, oh, look, while you're here, could you please just go around? Your grandma's Kindle's not working. So I go around. I said, oh, it's not letting me buy my books.

It's saying my password's wrong. So I try a few different passwords. She's got it written, you know, the classic bit of paper in front of the computer. Yeah. She should get another book. Yeah, so I type it in, and I notice the wee cat's box lights on. Oh, no. I said, oh, maybe? She should get a notebook. Yeah, so I typed it in and I noticed who he caps locks lights on.

Oh, no. I was like, oh, maybe I'll just flick that off for you, Grandma. Try again. Oh, it's working. Your caps lock was just on. It's okay. It should be fine now. But they didn't have cap locks in the 40s.

They didn't have case-sensitive passwords in the early days either. No, no. Apparently not. Oh, please. All right, Kate, thanks for your call. Shannon, you had to talk about Dad over Christmas. Yes, my dad lives in Perth, and in about November,

he forgot his Facebook password, and he didn't know about the forgot password button. So he just created a whole new profile. He created a whole new profile. Yeah. So I had people messaging me from about November like, hey, has your dad been hacked? Like he's just re-aided me on Facebook.

Because that's what they do. They duplicate the profile of the hackers and then they try to get friend requests. And he's added, because he's added a lot of my friends, I was getting a lot of messages. Like, oh God, Dad, stop it. Stop it.

Yeah, so he had a password notebook as well, but it all went horribly wrong because he was asked to change his password. Oh, and he didn't update. You always got to update the notebook. That's the key. Shannon, text your call. Some text messages in. Somebody said, my mum was furious because her shows had disappeared off MySky.

Wild. Wild, okay. Wild. She'd rung Sky. They were very confused, apparently. Yeah. Stupid, she called them. Yeah.

And it turned out she'd just recorded so many shows that she actually had to just go up a page to see the shows that she'd recorded previously. That'll get them. The old scroll up will always get them. Oh, yeah, please. That'll get them. Somebody else said My dad wanted to set up

A Facebook page For his garden Okay What? I don't know Pictures and such Like a fan page I spent two hours

Helping him with the set up Then he figured out How to do it So he spent literally An entire weekend Posting random stuff He made a video Of his moss man

With a Facebook filter Of bats coming out of it and he thought it was incredible and he showed me eight times and he kept saying, he woke me up and said, I've got two more likes. That is the cutest thing ever.

But you know it's only a matter of time before Dad's going to need some admin on that page. I feel like we need to give his page some publicity, a plug. Yeah, let's see what your dad's Facebook page is. I want to see Mossman now. Somebody said, I had to change the clock in mum's Suzuki Swift

to account for daylight savings. Oh, yeah. Last daylight savings, she just went through the whole daylight savings knowing it was an hour out. But this year she said she couldn't do that again. It was very confusing. It was too time consuming.

Yes, it is. So this thing happened and I actually, when I arrived at work and we were all just catching up, I said, oh, I've got to send an email today. And you two were like, why is this? And I said, oh, I've got to get this money back because my credit card was charged three times for a meal. You're not getting your money back. You have been scammed and you cannot... Admit it.

You can't admit it. You're too proud to think... It wasn't a scam. You could be this stupid. No, no. Okay, so I'll tell you what. It does... If you were there, it was a bit different.

That's how scams work. But we went to this restaurant when we were in Koh Samui in Thailand, which automatically you're like, you've been scammed because you're in Thailand, but it wasn't that. It was like this Scandic restaurant. It's actually, I'm looking at it right now on Google Street View.

It's called Scandic Guerrilla Bar. Okay. So I've got some. Is it Scandinavian food? Yeah, it is. It was owned by a Scandinavian dude. Right, okay. I had Swedish meatballs and mashed potatoes and it was amazing.

I was like, this is great. Okay. Great. Good food. And so it came to the end, and I said, do you take credit card? Because we'd been dealing in cash, but we were running low on cash. And I was like, well, if I can pay with credit card, that's going to be good because then I can use cash for delightful daily foot massages.

Yep. And they said yes. So I said, okay. So I went up to the thing because that was what somebody else told us, is never send your credit card away without you. Or don't let it out of your sight. No, you don't just put the credit card down and they take it and bring it back. You go with it.

So I walked up and she scammed it. Not scammed it. Swiped it and punched in how much it had cost and pressed enter. And then nothing happened. It didn't say transaction failed. Right. It said error. Okay.

And so she did it again and it said error again. And I said, I don't know if we should just keep trying. That's what I said after the second try. Okay. And she said, oh, no paper. Oh, okay. That's what it was. So she opened it.

No, some other guy came and said, have you got paper? And she was like, oh, no paper. So I opened it up, put the paper in it, put it through again and it went accepted. And Sade was sitting at the table on internet banking and she said out loud, that's gone through three times. And I said, that's gone through three times. And the guy's like, no, it can't have.

And I said, it definitely has gone through three times. My wife's looking at internet banking and I showed them. And he was like, and he turned around and I don't know if it was a Thai and Scandinavian, but he let this woman have it. Oh, really? He was like, this was the tone. Because usually I'm used to hearing Scandinavian

as the Swedish chef of the Muppets. And he always sounds so happy. Yeah. But this was like, like quite M German. Yeah, right. And then he turned around and he was like,

it hasn't gone in. Like, he was like, look at the transaction history on this thing. And I was like, it has. Right. And he's like,

my bank's just down there. I'll go and get somebody from the bank. Okay. Wait, he got a bank representative to come in. Well, the bank has said he's represented by the Bangkok bank and it was literally like three houses down. Okay. Wait, he got a bank representative to come in. Well, the bank has said he's represented by the Bangkok Bank

and it was literally like three houses down. He's like, I'll go and get my bank statement. I was like, but it's a credit card. It doesn't go in automatically. It says pending on mine.

He's like, oh, well, it won't go through. I was like, it will. It's a matter of time. You can see that it's there. All three say pending. If the last one went through, as you said,

it has gone through, the other two are in the same status. It's all gone through. Yeah. And he's like, I'll get someone from the bank to come down. So he went down and he said, the bank person's going to be here in 15 minutes. He's in on it too, Vaughn. You've been scammed. I was like,

okay, 15 minutes, I can wait. Yeah. Because it was like a $60 meal times three is $180. So I'm like, I'm not going anywhere without that $120. Yeah. Sat there, sat there, sat there, and I like, I'm not going anywhere without that $120. Yeah. Sat there, sat there, sat there. And I said, what's the story? I was getting angry.

Yeah. And he's like, I'm really sorry. And I said, I'm on holiday, Matt. I don't have all day to sit around and wait for you. You're bankrupt, representative. No, you literally do. You're on holiday. You literally have so much time.

You remember I'd saved some cash, and so I wanted to get another foot massage. And I said, I'm coming back later today. And I came back later today and I said, has it appeared in your bank? And he's like, I'll check. And he went on internet banking and he showed me and he's like, no, it's not there. So he showed me his internet banking. And I was like, yeah, you understand how credit card payments work.

I understand you're running a business. And I got condescending. Yeah. You do understand how credit cards work. And he was like, it's not on my bank. I said, I'm coming back. The minute that doesn't say pending on my bank account anymore, I'm coming back.

Well, it didn't say not pending until we'd left Koh Samui. So I didn't get to go back in and be like, ha. But now it's gone through. Preserved fish loving butt. Yeah. Ikea, Nokia, Finland, Danish, Norwegian, Swedish. Well, you're offending a lot of Scandics there, Vaughn. Not all of you.

Give me my money. Hey, you know what? This is why I think you've been scammed. This is what they do. Because they're banking on you just leaving. And not chasing it up. And not chasing it up. Wow, this guy's chasing it up.

You're actually going to send an email. Get a holiday refund. Oh, look, I'm on Street View. I not chasing it up. And not chasing it up. Wow, this guy's chasing it up. You're actually going to send an email. Get a holiday refund. Oh look, I'm on Street View. I can see it. And I turn the other way there's Bank of Bangkok. That's where he went to get the representative. How are you going to get your money back? I'm going to get him to reverse the charges. I'm not giving him my credit card details to do it though. How am I going to get that money back?

Yeah, this is the thing. You're not. Maybe I could have it wired. Have you ever had money wired? That sounds fun. We passed a lot of places that were like, get money wired instantly. I was like, drugs. That's all I consider when it's money wiring. It's always illegal activities.

Yeah, but that's like thousands of dollars as well. It's not like, how much did you spend? $29.95? $120. Oh, okay. Because he charged me three times. It's a lot of money. I'm getting it back. Oh, okay. Because he charged me three times. It's a lot of money.

I'm getting it back. Here it is. Where's your website? You don't have a damn website. Alright, you've got me now scanned at Grillon Bar. I'm finding you on

Facebook. Can you please, can we please make this an ongoing saga? Yeah. And every day we'll do daily updates? Yeah.

Why don't you just ignore your emails? What are you going to do? We could put a call through. 870 likes. I'm not ignore your emails? What are you going to do? We could put a call through. 870 likes. I'm not liking you, Paige. I'm just going to...

He's not in the picture. No, but the woman that scanned it wrong, she's in the picture. Right. Is this where we find out he doesn't actually have anything to do with the bar and grill? You're in big trouble now, buddy. I've got your number. If you're looking to set your restricted or full licence, this is a really good tip for you.

The New Zealand Transport Agency has revealed the places that are really good to set your licence and the ones that a lot of people fail. So the most failed locations and the most passed locations. Wow, okay. What do you want first? Should we do fails? Yeah.

Most fails. So it's mostly Auckland. Pass rates in Auckland are lower than the national average, just across the board. Three sites you're most likely to fail in. Having learnt to drive in New Plymouth and Nelson, I could not imagine having to sit my test in a place like Auckland or Wellington or Christchurch where there are big lanes. Do you have to get on the motorway to sit my test in a place like Auckland or Wellington or Christchurch where there are

big lanes. Do you have to get on the motorway to do a test? Because like... Well you have to go on 100k zone, don't you? I'd book my test in rush hour. Nah, because you'd be crawling and you'd get on your phone to see what's happening. Everybody does it in rush hour

traffic and you'd be like, oh, failed, haven't I? Damn it. Damn it. So, Monaco and South Auckland had the lowest pass rate, 48%, followed by Westgate in West Auckland, 53%, and then New Lynn. So, South Auckland and then two West Aucklands were the lowest pass rates. I would have thought Westgate would have been a sweet spot because the 100km is a quiet stretch of motorway.

Yeah. So, okay, so if you want to pass, you might need to go to one of these locations. So you need to go to Blenheim, Nelson or Harwood. I did my licence in Nelson. I failed. Do you know what? I'm struggling to think of a place in Harwood

that you could do a hill start on. I was going to say, Harwood is very flat. Notoriously flat. So is Blenheim. I don't even think there is a hill. So when I was in Nelson, I actually did sit my licence in Nelson and failed once.

But everyone in Nelson used to joke about, well, not joke, but a lot of people used to go to Blenheim to do their test. Because in Blenheim, there was no traffic lights. There was only roundabouts. There's not really a place to do their test because in Blenheim there was no traffic lights, there was only roundabouts, there's not really a place to do a hill start,

there's no motorway. It was easy. So everyone used to go over there to do it. And like in Harwood, when they say identify hazards, you could just literally say, well, we're in Harwood and you'd pass because that's like a multiple hazard.

Everything's a hazard. And then in Blenheim, backpackers, old people. Does that also mean that the testers are a bit more lenient maybe? Because that's like a multiple hazard. Everything's a hazard. And then in Blenheim, backpackers. Yeah. Old people. Does that also mean that the testers are a bit more lenient maybe? Because they've got a pass rate of 81% in Blenheim. I also like to think in those rural places like Harwood, people have been driving for ages anyway.

Like by the time you're 16, you've probably been driving around a farm or drunk driving your parents home from the pub. You're not drunk because you're only a kid. You might have had a couple of shandies, but, you know, like your parents are booze and you've got to get them home without, like, smooth enough that dad's not going to spill the beer that he's taken off. I mean, you're 14, so that's still a problem. Yeah. Yeah. But is it better than them drunk driving?

I don't know. Both are illegal. I'm not here to be a judge, a jury, or an executioner. I'm just putting the idea forward. All right, it's 14 to 8. We've bought something online, and we're going to test it next. Okay. It's a safety concern of a few people here at work.

Is it? Okay. FEM. ZM. Now, over the holidays, Fletcher, this is a couple of bucket list ticks for you. But one of the big ones, and you've talked about it for ages, is going to Chernobyl. Yes. The site of a big ones and you've talked about it for ages is going to Chernobyl. Yes. The site of a 1986 1986. Yeah. A nuclear meltdown. Meltdown. Explosion.

Yeah. And resulting from that an entire city town was evacuated and it's a ghost town and there's a 30 kilometre exclusion zone and you can tour it. Right. And it is incredible. Yeah. Hands down one of the most coolest things I've ever done. But.

We're seeing this stuff in real life, like the Ferris wheel and the abandoned orphanage. And, well, it was an orphanage, eh? Yeah, you get to visit like an orphanage, a school, an old gym. The dog gyms, theme park. Yeah. And it's all just left because they evacuated like 50,000 people the next day and they never went back. Like they cleared a lot of stuff out.

The army did. And some of them stayed around a bit. But now it's just a ghost town. Creepy as you hope. Oh, very creepy. I've got a video on my Instagram. Fletch NZ if you want to see like some of the pics and videos. It's just mind blowing.

But yeah, as you say, there's a nuclear reactor that's covered over. Well, they just keep putting more concrete on top, right? No, so they actually built, they call them a sarcophagus. Yeah, like a mummy. They built one when it happened and it started crumbling away

and then the world was like, well, we better build a proper one, otherwise we're going to be screwed. So they built this giant, it looks like a big hangar, and they slid it over the top of it. So they're just like... What about down?

What do you mean down? Like up? Yeah, but what if it's like leaking down? What about down? Down's fine. They put a concrete thing underneath. Yeah, that sounds... That sounds like,

you know the old can't see, it's not a problem situation. Out of sight, out of mind. You get a Geiger meter, if you want. I got one. And you just walk around and the levels of radiation, because in a city where we live now, 0.3 is the radiation level. Constantly.

Constantly around. That's the average in the world. Anywhere you go, 0.3. Wow. I don't know what, if you went to an x-ray or at the airport. Oh, I don't know what, if you got a like a if you went to an x-ray or at the airport. Oh, I don't know. In planes as well, I think the level of radiation is high for some reason. Because you're up

in the atmosphere. You're catching all the radiations. But yeah, so you walk around and like some places. Stand next to the Wi-Fi. Microwave something and look in to see if it's how it's going to make sure the porridge isn't overflying. Catch a few goggers even parts of parts of the world like in india i don't know why but there's some places you can live that have like

super high 30 times pollution and stuff right because everyone shipped off their nuclear waste when they were like oh this is bad probably but it's fine like people say well are you are you okay i'm fine for now yeah you don't know well we'll find out because we ordered a Geiger meter. This little thing plugs into the bottom of a cell phone. Not my cell phone because we had to find a cell phone with a headphone jack. So we had to find someone poor. And then we downloaded the app. And because, like like headphone jacks,

oh yuck, it's 2019. Come on, like how many generations are you behind on iPhones? And we plugged this in and this tells us, this thing's actually pretty cool. The app can measure a whole bunch of stuff that is beyond my area of understanding. But I didn't touch anything. No, but you don't have to touch it. You're just, the radiation's in the R.

Right, okay. So it's all around you. It's airborne. Did they give you any warning like, hey, coming on this tour, there's high levels of radiation? They said don't touch anything. You had to wear like clothes that covered your skin. What about breathing in the dust and stuff?

No, fine. Did you have a mask on? No. Oh my God, you're so loose. Did you wear the jacket that your friend wore to Chernobyl? No, I soiled a new one. You got another jacket. I mean, we should definitely put this in your wardrobe and see.

I'm going to turn it on now. Okay. And this is going to measure the level of radiation in the studio. Now, it's got a little thing under it. What was the highest you were exposed to? Maybe 5.6. 5 point something, something, and then something SV slash H. Yeah, sure. What was the highest you were exposed to? Maybe 5.6. 5 point something something and then something SV slash H.

Whatever that means. The average should be 0.3. So if you turn that on, it should be 0.3. 0.3. It's 0.63. We're double. Why are we double normal? We're double the amount of normal radiation.

It's moving closer to the fletch. Oh, it's actually gone down. See, I'm not contaminated. I'm going to move away. But it's gone up when it's near you. Oh, no, it's continuing to drop. Go to Megan, go to Megan. No, but I'm close to Fletch. Oh, we're in the green now.

We're finally in the green out of the yellow. I'm green over here. Megan's going down. So come back to me and see if I'm radioactive. Do I have the most radioactive seat in the studio? I demand a switch. I sat there for years. Go closer to Fletch.

What's his name? Fletch. It's dropping. What is it now? Should I blow on it? Yeah. Say your name into the Gogometer. Say your name into the Gogameter. Say your name into the Gogameter.

Blow onto the Gogameter and keep blowing until I say stop. Fletch, Fletch. One, two, three, four, five, six. No, it's continued to drop. Actually, it's dropped right down to 0.23. So I don't know if this is inaccurate or we're below. Although I don't trust something you buy on the internet that plugs into an iPhone. Like, let's be serious.

Come on, guys. I know. How serious are you taking this? How much was it? Was it from Etsy? How much, James? Was it Etsy? It's not a craft, Megan.

Some mum's like... I think Anna bought it. Was it $30, Anna? Yeah, it was $30. Oh, that seems like a lot. But confirming it wasn't off Etsy. Some mum's like, I'm not going back to work. After my kids, I'm opening a craft store.

I'm making Geiger meters. Spread the word. Tell your friends. It's mum craft. We've all just got back from holiday. And of course on Instagram, it looks like fun times. There's never any arguments. We're like traipsing around Europe.

And it was bliss. Hashtag bliss. Yeah. My favourite part about someone who presents a flawless holiday on Instagram is doing the backstory of what you're not seeing. Yeah, we're about to get it. When it's like a beach pose and stuff, I imagine, because I kind of saw one of these unfolding.

Okay. Did you? On the beach in Koh Samui. Yeah, this woman was like frolicking in the waves and stuff. But she got smashed and rolled. Like her friend, she came in and she yelled at her friend because she didn't get it right and take it again. So I imagine like that's the backstory.

Every photo that I see and it looks like flawless. I'm like, what went wrong to get here? Yeah, yeah. Yeah. So we were in Amsterdam airport and we're looking for a flight to go to Berlin. And like we're relaxed. Like we've got no worries in the world at the moment. No work.

Like all we're doing is traveling around. And we were there quite early, three hours before our flight. Looking up on the flight boardy thing that has all the details you need of what gate. And our flight's not up there because we're really early. So I could see that the flight wasn't up there. And Andrew's looking and I said, it's not up there yet. Let's carry on walking. And he's like, no, I can't wait.

I was like, it's not up there. I can see it's not up there. He's like, well, how can you tell? I'm looking through. I can't see it. And I was like, well, it's an order of time. It's an order of time. The time that we're flying is not up there yet.

It hasn't caught up. It'll come soon. That's when he says, do you think by raising your voice at me it's going to make me see it anywhere? You should have said I could scream at you Dumbo. It's not on the chicken board yet. I was like, I'm actually not screaming at you, but I am now.

We had the hugest argument and it was one of those ones that's like huge but it's like muted it's the hugest muted argument like you're trying to keep your voice down but you're yelling i'm not angry but i am now just look at the i'm bored trust me did it take a while for him to realize it wasn't on the board and that you were right yeah no we had to stand there until he figured out himself that it wasn't on the board and that you were right? Yeah, no, we had to stand there until he figured out himself that it wasn't on the board. And I was like, why can't you just listen to me?

Trust me when I tell you it's not on the board. Then we sat down for like an hour and a half. It's because you're a woman. You should go home today and ask him if this was a feminist, if this was a gender issue. I'm sure he'd love that. Spark it up again.

We sat down for an hour and a half in this airport, me in one seat with a spacer seat and then him in another seat. Oh, spacer seat! In silence for like an hour and a half. Oh, you're married and have a spacer seat. That's not good. Oh, wow, that is not.

People would have walked past and been like, oh, spacer seat. It wasn't until we got to the hotel that he's like, can we be friends again? I was like, yes, but let me get my point across first. Oh, my God. But I'd love to hear about your stupidest arguments on holiday. We always argue on holiday because you're tired and everything. And you're with each other like 24-7.

Yeah, in a small space. So we actually didn't argue. There was one and it was the airport board as well. Because Sade's cousin said to us in Bangkok, he said, what time are you going to the airport tomorrow? I said, well, our flight's at 6.45. And he's like, well, you don't need to be there until like half four because they don't open check-in.

Yeah. And even internationally until two hours. I was like, great news. Thanks, Chris. I was like, did you hear that? We don't have to leave until this time and everything. And then it got to like 1.30 and Sade starts freaking out.

We're going to miss a flight. Let's go. So I open Google Maps. I'm like, look, it's heaps of time. The traffic's not that bad. Why are we rushing there? So I stalled as much as I could, but we ended up getting there way too early. And the same thing, she was like, where's our flight? What check-in thing are we at?

I said, I think we're probably too early. And so we stood in front of the board and she couldn't see it. And I was like, well, go to the last time on the board. That's still three quarters of an hour before our departure time. Exactly, Vaughn. I'd be like, it's like we came too early.

Imagine if we'd had The foresight of an app To tell us how long It was going to take us here Teamed up with the knowledge That your cousins See we don't need to be here Until two hours Imagine that

How many seats Did you have spacing Between you two We didn't have a Spacer seat because It was She was like Okay

Okay And then Indy was like I feel sick And I was like You you deal with that. Because, you know, if we hadn't rushed there, she wouldn't be car sick. Not condescending at all. No, I was like, you deal with that. Okay, so we would like to share your holiday arguments.

Yeah. And maybe it is over the stupidest little thing, like being too early at the airport. Yeah. 0800 DARS at M. You can text as well, 9696FAM. We're talking about those holiday arguments you have. You present your best holiday online, don't you? Or when you get home.

It's not often that you catch up with your family and share stories about a rip-roaring argument you had over something. At an Amsterdam airport. It maybe was small and insignificant, but at the time, with the pressure and the tiredness, it added up. So we want to hear from you about your holiday arguments you had.

Somebody messaged in, I told my fiancé to F off then in the middle of St. Peter's Square in Rome because she wanted to go back to the hotel because she was tired. You do do lots of walking though. Like, you need a wee break. Wait, this person, I'm an architect. This is like my holy grail of things to admire and know the working of.

Right. And she wanted to bail on it and go back to the hotel. Well, that's the thing they say before you get married. You probably should travel just to test it out because you're really going to know someone when you're travelling. Or just never travel. Never leave the country. We had a holiday argument because I planned a 1.5 kilometre loop walk

near the Waitomo Caves. Turned out it was an 11 kilometre walk. I just missed a one. Going across farmland before we found out the loop walk, then only having a walk back, being angry across the farmland again. I was not mentally prepared for this. And I was also very hangry.

Needless to say, although I had planned the walk, it was all his fault. There's something special about women being able to turn an argument on you. Like, you know, it's genetic. It's brilliant.

Grace, what was your holiday argument about? So me and my partner were travelling for six months straight. That's a lot of time. Oh my god. Okay. How many arguments did you have in six months? Probably in the triple, like, triple digits. Wow. Like, every day.

But, I mean, they were just, like, tired arguments, you know? Yeah. Okay. And is that more than you'd have normally if you were in New Zealand? Yes, definitely. Okay. Wow. But we mainly argued, like, he's a little self-conscious about it, if you were in New Zealand? Yes, definitely. Okay, wow.

But we mainly argued, like, he's a little bit self-conscious about it, but he always wanted me to take photos of him. So he was always like, take one of me looking in the distance. Take one of me walking towards the camera. Wow, girlfriends of Instagram. I know, I know. It was, yeah, definitely annoying, to say the least. Okay, so did you feel that you were treated more like a photographer than a girlfriend? More or less, yeah.

Yeah, right, okay. And sort of the person that had to organise everything and book everything as well. Oh, yeah. Wow, and are you still together now? Did you make it back? Yes, we did. Okay. Five years going strong.

Oh, wow. Okay. So it made you stronger. So do you have as much arguments at home now or just on holiday? Just on holiday. But now we're kind of arguing on where we're going on holiday. Good stuff. I mean, that's not a great start.

This has got good holiday written all over it. Did you get good photos of him over summer at the beach, like just staring into the distance? Oh, I got awesome photos of him. And then his photos of me are all blurry or cracked. The worst thing is when you're travelling with someone and they can't take a good photo. You take great ones and you're like, just look, I'll frame it for you.

Look, I'm just going to sit in here. This is exactly how I want it. And they still can't manage to do it. Oh, bloody boys, eh? Alright, thanks you call Grace. Some text messages in. We had a massive argument when we were travelling. My boyfriend cut his finger, got the first aid kit

but couldn't find a big enough gauze pad. We argued about whether or not a smaller gauze pad would do. He ended up flipping out and as I stormed away he screamed, I wish you'd completed a first aid course. Why?

Why do you need a gauze patch on a cut finger? I don't know, that seems very dramatic. We'd booked the cheapest possible rental car for our trip to Seal Beach in America. When we got to the rental pickup, the guy at the desk said, are you happy with the rental class?

And I clearly wasn't, but I was like, eh. And he said, I tell you what, for $10 more a day, you can have a brand new Dodge Challenger, which is a muscle car. Yeah. Like, awesome looking car. The sort of car that you would dream of having as a rental car.

Yeah. And without hesitation, I said, yes. yes but my partner said what one's that? And the guy pointed it to the picture and we started loudly arguing for 10 minutes in front of a dozen people. Her saying no one drives those sorts of cars in Seal Beach. And in the end I just sucked it up and took the Hyundai.

Silenced the whole way there. As we got to Seal Beach there were three Dodge Challengers in the first five minutes Well you can imagine that was the whole start of another argument Why wouldn't you want a flash rental car? But wouldn't it like suck the petrol? But then you're not paying It's simple rental car economics

You know $10 a day extra Yeah but you're paying $10 a day extra Plus you're paying extra in the fuel. But you get to drive a car that you will never buy. I know, but your holiday's not about the car you're driving. Oh my God. It sure would be.

Let's bloody have an argument right now. If you're doing a road trip, it's all about the car you're driving. Yeah, it's all about the car. My partner and I were just travelling down south for a couple of days and we were just winging it. No destination in mind. That's going to be anxiety. One day we were deciding where to have lunch.

Okay. Couldn't decide between sausages or bacon. Huge argument erupted. Packed a massive sad. Drove all the way home. Just do what you want. Babe, we're free spirits. Let's just travel.

No destination in mind. What do you want for lunch? Sausages. What about want? Babe, we're free spirits. Let's just travel. No destination in mind. What do you want for lunch? Sausages. What about you? Bacon. What? No! Why can't one have one and one have the other?

We're free spirits, be damned! All right. So first one for the year. We haven't practiced. Okay. Are we ready? Yeah. Well, if we're all ready, it must be time for...

Fact of the Day, Day, Day, Day, Day. Today's Fact of the Day. Great, by the way. It was really good. It felt really good. That felt really good. Yep, good intro. Today's fact of the day is about US skier Lindsay Vonn. Okay.

How do I know that name? She was like a big name at Sochi in Russia. Winter Olympics comes around. No, not that long ago. Yeah. Oh, no, no. She's, yeah, she's still going. She's returning.

When I Googled her name. Of course, she's hot. Well, that helps. Yeah. She's returning, no, she's, yeah, she's still going. She's returning. When I Googled her name today. Oh, of course, she's hot. Well, that helps. Yeah. She's returning to the professional circuit. You said that with so much disdain. Well, no, it is hot, people. Everyone makes a big deal about them.

But if someone ugly wins the medal, no one's like, oh, my God, let's celebrate this. Oh, she is a babe. Yeah, they do. No, they don't. Not so much. I mean, I'm trying to think of an example, and I have one. You don't have an example. And then I don't want to also say, what about, insert name here,

and then everyone's like, is he calling them ugly? And, you know, sure I was, but that wasn't the issue here. But she's been a downhill skier for a long time. She, in 2005, won a downhill ski race in France. I don't speak French. I believe this place is Val Desieres. Okay. That sounded

Spanish for sure. A famous downhill ski race. It's a very snowy region of France. And it follows an age-old tradition of wacky prizes for downhill skiing. Okay. For example, in Beaver Creek, you win a large bird of prey. Or in the Arctic Circle in Finnish Lapland, there's Levi Ruka where the prizes were reindeer.

Okay. An actual reindeer. Yeah, an actual reindeer. But the majority of time, these things stay. Like the bird, for example, you like the bird for example you win the bird for the year it's like a trophy but it has to stay

with the trainer because it's a bird of prey it'll kill your cat and probably take down your dog you'll just wake up one day there'll be a dead

chihuahua on your porch you don't know where that's come from it's a bird of prey damn it you can't blame it for doing what it's evolved to do

and the reindeer stayed on the farm but you got you know your name on it's evolved to do. And the reindeer stayed on the farm, but you got, you know, your name on its pen or whatever for the year or whatever. But in this French downhill race in 2005, the prize was a cow. Okay. And

Lindsey Vonn won the downhill race and they said, your prize is the terrine, that's the breed, cow. And this cow is famous in the region, this breed of cow, because it makes the cheese that the region's known for, Beaufort cheese.

And they said, you've won the cow. Now, the cow will stay here for the night. And then tomorrow when it's all, all this is done and I've packed down that stuff, we'll give you a $5,000 check and take the cow back to the farm. They came back the next day and they said, we're here for the cow.

And she said, keep your check. I want this cow. And they were like, you can't keep the cow. And she's like, the price said I won the cow. I'm keeping the cow. Okay. And they're like, are you sure? She's like, yeah, I'm keeping the cow.

Turns out the cow was a $20,000 pedigree cow. And at the time that she won it, it was pregnant. It gave birth to another cow. Turns out the cow was a $20,000 pedigree cow. And at the time that she won it, it was pregnant. It gave birth to another cow of equal pedigree. So now she's got two cows worth $20,000. When she starts telling people the story, a pedigree breed is like, I can help you out with future breeding of that cow. Yeah.

So it has another baby. And then those babies have babies. Yeah. And now she has a herd of cows cow. Yeah. So it has another baby. And then those babies have babies. Yeah. And now she has a herd of cows. In America. To note, at her French residence. Oh, she's got a French residence. Okay.

So she's got a herd of pedigree cheesemaking cows. Tareen cheesemaking cows. And she sells their milk to a cheesemaker who makes it and she gets a slice of the goodies. Wow. Wow. All because she kept the she gets a slice of the goodies. Wow. Or because she kept the cow that should have been given back. Yeah. And she said this isn't the only thing I've won. I won a goat once

and in this interview without asking her if she still has this herd of cows and she's like, yeah, it's still going. And she said, I won this goat. And they're like, where's the goat? And she said, well, there was this really cute guy. Old guy. Old cute. Not like cute cute. Not like I want to, old cute, not like cute, cute. Not like I want to sleep with him cute,

like granddad cute. Okay. And for some people that's the same thing and I don't understand you, but that's fine. You do you. You do you. No judge. So he would bring them fresh bread every day

when they were training and she gave him a goat and he started crying and he built the goat like its own little barn and stuff. So she still goes down and sees the goat when she's training in that area. She sounds lovely. That's so cute. Yeah.

So next time you win like a wacky prize, and they're like, it was just all the cash equivalent. Yeah. Think twice about giving back the wacky prize, because it might be worth more. I mean, also, not everybody has the resources to just be like, I'm keeping a cow. That's like crazy for 99% of people who do snowboarding and skiing,

because they live in a van. Yeah. Yeah. And crazy for 99% of people who do snowboarding and skiing because they live in a van. Yeah. Yeah. And travel constantly. But today's fact of the day is in 2005, American skier Lindsey Vonn won a cow and now has a herd of them. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. All right, Spires coming up. I just had a self-realisation

of how stupid that is. What? We sing that. Oh yeah, of course. Why is that stupid? Why is it just dawned on you now? We've done it every day for a long time. We know it's stupid.

Is it just because you've been away for a month? Yeah, we just do a little doo-doo-doo-doo. Yeah, I know. Like, you go around the world and you see people doing jobs

and you're like, crucial. Yeah. You know, like, public transport drivers, you're like, it's crucial to the city functioning. Or like pilots,

and you're like, my safety's in your hands. Crucial. Doctors, you're like, you're saving lives. And then dickheads on the radio singing a song that they made up one day in like 2011. Yeah. Also crucial.

FEM. ZM. Quarter to nine. Yep. A lot of news. A lot of news about Lime scooters and the ACC claims. People having accidents on their Lime scooters. Such ACC claims people are having accidents on their lime scooters.

Such good videos if you manage to capture those accidents. Oh yeah, no. Did you see his CEO, Bogsy? Yeah. Friend of the show and person who pays

the wages of the show. Yeah. So great guy. Awesome dude. I've always said that. Yeah. Like a father to me. You've gone too far. Speaking of which, Dad can have some money but he's got one. He's Like a father to me. You're going too far.

Speaking of which, dad can have some money. But he's got one. He's got a... He bought one. He purchased a scooter, yeah, for the Palmyra waterways. How do we feel about that? Why? It's the house being used every weekend.

I wouldn't imagine so. Isn't it busy? There's no way they could make it every weekend. How much do they cost to buy? Because I see people with private scooters and I'm like... That could be you. I think that's great for you. That's your transport.

Well, because I had Lime to work today. Fair enough. My first Lime for 2019. In fact, my first Lime since a little accident that I had. What happened? But what overseas Liming? Yeah, so this was in the Czech Republic in Prague. Because they're all over the place.

Yeah, they are. They're in Paris. They saw friends in Paris. Was it like European cars was the indicator on the wrong side and you flicked on the windscreen wipers or something? No, it's the same. It's the same. It's the same.

But they were kind of useless in winter because there's snow everywhere. Of course. Yeah, the wind chill when you're on those things is like... Yeah, I hired one before that and I went like 100 metres and I was like, too cold, locking lime. So the last time I did use one, and this is why it's taking me a while to get back on one, was in Prague.

So I met up with some friends who were also travelling and we had some drinks. It was about eight or nine o'clock at night, so it was dark. I'd leave the bar and I'm like, I'm going home. I'm done for the night. And it's at that stage where I'm like, overcome on my way back to the hotel with the need to use a toilet.

And we know in Europe that it's very hard. You cannot go anywhere, even to a McDonald's, without paying to use a toilet. Even if you buy a Big Mac. Yep, it's like... No, they have a person standing there With a They have a person

And they still charge you They still charge you And a turnstile Even if you buy Even cafes are hard Like it's all It's very hard So I'm like okay

I really need to use the toilet Like really And I'm talking like number twos Oh no It's at this stage It's at this stage It's bad planning. where I'm regretting trying the meats

selection at the Christmas markets because it's that kind of Never regret the meats. Right. Like, I've had some dodgy food and it's hit me

in like the space of 30 seconds. You've had a pinch. Yeah. When it's dodgy food you get the pinch. What's the pinch? Like it pinches and then you get a hot feeling. Like. When it's dodgy food, you get the pinch. What's the pinch? I get pinches and then you get a hot feeling.

And it's coming on so fast. I just cannot believe that it's gone from zero to this. And I'm just like, oh my God, I need a toilet. So I went into a McDonald's. I need a toilet. I need a toilet. I need a toilet. I need a toilet real bad.

And I'm in this foreign city. I know no more way around. I know roughly where the hotel is. And so I get into this McDonald's. I'm like, I'm rushing. If I don't get there, it's too late. So I get there and I'm like, it costs money to get in. And there's a barrier.

It's like this big arm thing and you can't get. I've got no money because I've only got FPOS, credit card. So I'm like, oh, I'm going to have to make it back to the hotel. Oh, God. I rush out of the McDonald's. I'm like, I can hold on. It's like 500 metres away. I see a lime scooter. I'm like to have to make it back to the hotel. Oh, God. This is when I rush out of the McDonald's. I'm like, I can hold on. It's like 500 metres away. I see a lime scooter.

I'm like, yes. No, but you have to like log into the app, then like scan it. No, I'm in, I'm in, I'm in. I'm like, bang, I'm on the lime and I'm gunning for the hotel. That's when I just... In snowy Prague.

No snow, but cobblestones. Okay. What happened? Oh, I know, the cobblestone shakes the polo. The cobblestone shakes the polo. Oh, no. Why are you tellingestone shakes the polos. The cobblestone shakes the polos. Oh, no. Why are you telling me? Why are you telling me?

Did you shake yourself in Prague? He shook himself in Prague. A little bit came out because I was on the cobblestone. It was like, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop. No, no, no, no. Never shake. Never shake a baby and never shake yourself when you need a running coat. I was like, well, I've got to ditch the line.

And I was trying to log out. And oh, my God. You're logging out and you're holding your butt together. And like some did come out. It was pretty bad. And I got to the hotel. I'm on the tour line. I'm like, I'm going to have to throw these clothes out.

Wait, did you throw pants out? Way to throw. I threw undies out. Did you just put them in the hotel? It was pretty bad. And I'm sitting on the tour line.'m on the phone and Uber's like, how do you rate your ride? I'm like, one star.

Lime-ass lime. Don't bring Uber into this. They'll make you shit yourself. Lime-ass lime. I'm just like, how do you rate your ride? I'm like, that's one star. But it's not their fault. That's user.

Yeah, but you can't ride them there. There's cobblestones. They shouldn't have them there. Oh, my God. It shook it out of you. And so it was pretty bad. And so it was like, I waited like 10 days and I still had quite an upset stomach.

So that's why I went to a doctor. And so I've got to claim travel insurance because I got like Camp Labacta from like some bad food. Did you get Camp Labacta? Yeah, because I did a test again. Good Lord. You got Camp Labacta, Bagnet. That's hard to say.

The last time was at that Dominion Road dumpling place. It was so nice food. I am going to go back there. I mean, I can't look. That's how good the food was. That's a very good recommendation. Made me sick. Delicious.

I may now have cleaned up the rack. I've gone and up a couple of alphabet letters. I hope so. Since the camp of a bank to bag. I've gone up a couple of alphabet letters. I hope so. Since the camp love actor. But I would just caution against cobblestones. If you've got a runny time. And lime scooters. Again, you didn't put that side of your holiday on it.

A runny time and a weakened bum. Don't go on cobblestones. This has got to put on the travel insurance. Like, claim for a doctor. I don't want to be one of those funny things people laugh at. That's okay. You're definitely going to be on there. Food poisoning.

Don't claim your undies because then you'll have to see your shoe self. Now that'll make it on to the press. No, but I can claim my undies as one who I don't know. Can you please just

detail the story? I want to see if it comes out next year. No, because it's always like oh, a 32-year-old woman got bitten by a rattlesnake. We had to pay out $1,000. A man shit himself

on a life scooter. And we're undies. And pay out $ thousand dollars a man shit himself on a life scooter pay out 120 harrowing experience harrowing i don't know why i shared this how much of that 120 was the undies well no i've i've 20 for undies because i've depreciated right yeah don't claim travel you're gonna pay more than that in excess. No, there's no excess. I don't think there is. Oh, see, I'd just take that on the chin. Not the pooey undies. I wouldn't put them anywhere near my face. Rather than the embarrassment of claiming.

No, this is what they want you to be embarrassed. So you don't claim from them. I will not be shamed out of making a claim. I mean, I've just talked about shitting myself on a lime scooter on air. I don't think I'm going to have any trouble claiming this now. What a hoot. Well, hopefully the show can pick up from here.

Can you trust a fart? I've only just got back into trusting a fart. Yeah, no, I think I'm pretty good now. Thanks. Last couple of days in Bangkok, it got me. Fletch, Vaughn and Megan. The podcast. For more, check out FBM ZM on Facebook. me.