ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Megan Podcast - January 17 2019

Episode Date: January 16, 2019

Vaughan has a cute goal for 2019, Community Notices and Fletch had an embarrassing day yesterday.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hello and welcome to the Fletch, Vaughan and Megan podcast, brought to you by Spark. Get the new Nokia 7.1 from $499 on a Spark prepaid rollover value pack. And now, on with the podcast. Zim's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. Good morning, welcome to the show, Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. You know how if you share an iTunes account, like if I download an app, it goes on my wife's phone as well. Oh, yeah.

So imagine if I had the shoe app. Why? I don't know. Oh, you guys are married. In case I download Tinder or something. She's like, I've got Tinder on my phone. I'll be like,

how dare you? Imagine I'm putting my shoes on and she's got the app and she starts tightening my Nikes. I mean, it's not going to be a concern because this sounds like it would be expensive and you know my thoughts on paying for things. Well, I know Megan had to make you buy those new New Balance shoes that you're wearing. I know.

No regrets though. Great $70. I wouldn't have paid any more, but $70 on that. Well, they retail at 150, so... You got a good deal. You got a good deal. Any word on the price, Anya, for these Nike self-lacing app shoes? Yeah, 350 American.

No! Yeah. Cutting rate? Holy San Andreas. That must be bulky, right? Because you'd have to have some kind of computer hardware or... Oh, no, they look like Roshis. And they've got lights on them.

Because my daughters have got shoes, when you walk in them, they flash. I've always thought they'd be quite cool. Oh, they look like Roshi's. And they've got lights on them because my daughters have got shoes when you walk in them, they flash. I've always thought that'd be quite cool. Oh, my God. For an adult. I'm all for a shortcut, but really? Yeah, all right. You've got to unlock your phone.

Go to the app. Go to the app. It's slow. Open it. It's like, update the app. You're like, oh, just tie the bloody laces. All right, coming up on the show. The most Instagrammable, God, it's early.

Instagrammable countries in the world have been released. I'll tell you what they are next. Are we on the list? I mean, we're beautiful. I'm looking. We're beautiful. No matter what they say. We should be.

That's rude. The top six is coming up. Yeah. And the trashy tourists. I laughed so much I hurt my throat when James the producer said, do you know those tourists are going to Hobbiton today? These are the travellers, the British travellers. Because the Irish, by the way, I've had some friends in Ireland say,

please stop referring to them as Irish because they're not. They're British citizens. They are going to Hobbiton today. This is after their court appearance yesterday for stealing sunglasses. They've been issued a deportation notice from the Immigration Department. They've been to court for stealing. They stole a Christmas tree from Caltex. Been at the news literally every day they've been here.

And today they're like, should we go to Hobbiton? The holiday will continue. Oh, brilliant. I can't wait. It's going to be great. The top six dealing with their trip to Hobbiton today. The top six things the travellers will get up to at Hobbiton today. I'd be surprised if they just shut the doors on them.

They're going to pride the tour. All right, you lot, listen up. It's story time. Today for story time, three news headlines. Vaughn and Megan, pick one of the following three headlines. Headline number one, Milwaukee poodle shelter take on Facebook. Milwaukee poodle shelter take on Facebook. Okay Poodle Shelter take on Facebook. Yeah.

Headline two, it's raining trash. Hallelujah. And headline three, Boaty's face, very tough choice. Those are the headlines today. Poodle Shelter takes on Facebook. They're obviously not happy with something that Facebook's done. Yes. Maybe slandered poodles.

Are they slandered poodles? Well, they haven't slandered poodles, no. Okay. Then... I've forgotten number two. It's raining trash. Oh. It's like trash in the storm or falling out of a plane or something.

Three boaties face tough choice. Tough choice. Yeah, very tough choice. Probably that one. It's the time of the year, isn't it, for boats? Okay. Of course. Because boats migrate.

Well, when it gets cold, they migrate to warmer waters. To North America. Yeah. Around Hawaii, they go out through the Pacific Islands. If you go to Tonga in late April, you'll actually see migrating boats. Yeah. Quite a sight. Oh, it's beautiful when you see a 17-footer.

Yeah. 17-footer tinny just cruise past with a 90-horsepower Yamaha out the back. Oh, it's just beautiful. One of God's many wonders. Well, we go to Sydney now for story time. Sydney, Australia. Sydney, Australia. At the moment, I believe they have, is it 10 or

15 of the hottest temperatures in the world right now. It is baking. I think in one place it's getting up to 49 degrees around there. A guy cooked a steak in his car, right? I know, it's mad. Cooked a well done too. That's too hot. I wouldn't want to live there when it's

that hot. Anywhere that gets 40 anything. Even 40 anything. Even 30 anything. It's getting a bit ridiculous. Yeah. Sydney, a 34-foot luxury marina. Mariner. Do you say mariner?

Mariner. I'd say mariner. No, it's a boat. Oh, man. A mariner. It must be a type of boat. I don't know. Boat.

Let's just say boat. It must be a type of boat. I don't know. Boat. Let's just say boat. It's a big boat. That caught fire near Watson's Bay at one o'clock. Oh, that's Oolah Watson's Bay. Now, let me show you a photo of how on fire this boat is. Oh, whoa. That is... Black smoke on fire.

That is... If that was... If you were on this boat, what would you do? Jump off. Jump off. It's completely engulfed in smoke and flames. Yeah. Well, this is where the boaties faced a very tough choice.

Well, no, actually, the easiest choice you'll ever make. Good life jacket, put it on, jump in the water. Seen circling the boat. Oh, shit. I was just going to say, unless there's a shark circling. In quotation marks, a very large shark. What kind? A friendly one?

I don't know if there are friendly ones. A one that's just had lunch? No, there's one of those ones with no teeth that just, like, suck on things. Well, a rescue team was dispatched. The group were forced to jump, so they did have to jump into the water before the rescuers could arrive. The boating safety officer and the men rescued saw the large shark swim past after they got back onto the boat, onto the rescue boat.

Describing the rescue as a miracle. Apparently started as an electrical fire in the engine compartment. But what would you do? I mean, you've just got to jump, don't you? Because the boat gets to the point where you've just got to. Definitely will die from fire. This is why Moana's dad had a great point. No one leaves the island.

Feed on dry land. Stay on the island. Not a huge fan of the sea. Yeah. We don't know what's under there. Australia, though, eh? Everything's trying to kill you. And now the sun. Yeah. We don't know what's under there. Australia though, eh? Oh. Everything's trying to kill you.

And now the sun. You know what? You know, I just can see the picture of the shark. Actually, if you look close enough, it's got a lighter

in its hand, so they're getting smarter. They're getting smarter. Lighting boats on fire now, so they're cooking their food before it jumps in. F.E.M.

Big Seven Travel took a survey of their readers. I don't know what that is, but there was a panel of readers and judges and they have compiled a list of the top 50 most Instagrammable countries. And we don't even make a list of 50.

No, 10. I've only got the top 10 in front of me. I haven't actually gone through the top 50 but we're not in the top 10. Again criminal though. Very criminal. It's horrible. Maybe. Again, criminal though. Very criminal. It's horrible. Maybe. I feel personally attacked. Is it just because not enough people from this panel and everything didn't have enough photos?

Maybe. Maybe they haven't come here. That's what I like to think anyway. So I'll take you through the top 10 most Instagrammable countries. Okay. 10 is Singapore. Have anyone here been there? We stopped over

Remember we had like a 12 hour layover It's probably Instagram It's very high end Have you seen Crazy Rich Asians? The movie? No It's good Do you like it?

I really liked it That was Singapore or Hong Kong Hong Kong I think it was Hong Kong I haven't seen it But yeah It's on my watch list It's like high-end luxury

Singapore. I would have thought that the only thing in Singapore worth Instagramming, and I haven't been there, is that hotel with the big pool on top of the roof. That's spread across two buildings. It looks amazing. But I found Singapore very like, yeah.

But we went crazy when we went in that time we were transiting. We went in and it was really early in the morning and we went right into CBD. It'd be like getting dropped off on Queen Street in Auckland and no one's around and being like, I don't get it. Boring. What's the buzz about this country for?

Yeah, true. And number nine, Dubai, which we can all attest to. Lots to Instagram. I mean, we spent a week there, didn't we? The fountain. Yep. The falcon. The bourge. The falcon?

The bird. The bird, yeah. They're around. The desert. The desert. Lots to Instagram. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, it's great.

Number eight, which is, oh, I mean, kind of surprising, but then when you break it down into different places that you can go in the United States, it is the eighth most Instagrammable country. They're looking at like the Grand Canyon, New York. Yeah, just by the amount of people that go there. And the fact that you can be a tourist in your own country so easily in America. Yeah.

Yeah. Number seven is India. From the Himalayan peaks and the Indian Ocean, the Taj Mahal, that's the segment's most Instagrammable. I just had a friend over New Year's that went to the Himalayas. Yeah. So beautiful. Good grams. Oh, grams were just amazing.

Good grams. Yeah, it's worth going just for the grams. Yeah. Crazy Rich Asians was set in Singapore. Was it? Was it? Not Hong Kong. It was Singapore.

Apologies. Because you can do a Crazy Rich Asians Singapore filming tour now and go to all the locations. Because at the end of it, the party is on that right. Rooftop. Rooftop thing. Number six is the Maldives. I mean, that kind of speaks for itself.

You have been there. That's where you went on your honeymoon, isn't it? Yeah. The water's so blue, the sky looks grey. It's beautiful. Number five is South Africa. Have you ever been to South Africa? I haven't, but I'd love to do a safari.

Right. My husband's from there and doesn't want to go back, so. That's a great, I guess, advertisement. That's a great endorsement. A ringing endorsement for South Africa. I'm from there. I won't go back. You can't make me.

No, don't take me back. Number four, the fourth most Instagrammable country is Indonesia. Bali. Oh, of course. I mean, I've got a friend over there at the moment that's absolutely spamming me with Bali pictures. Thank you very much. But it was all right when you were on holiday spamming her. Yeah, him.

Him. Right. Number three, Canada. The third most Instagrammable country. Lakes, the Rockies. The summertime lakes. Yeah, Justin Trudeau. The three, Canada. The third most Instagrammable country. Lakes, the Rockies. The summertime lakes. Yeah, Justin Trudeau. The wintertime mountains.

Sexy Trudeau. Yeah. Sitting on a hilltop looking over a lake. Take a picture of my back as I look out over the lake. Yeah. Make me look like I'm deep in thought. Yeah. Whereas I'm really just deep in the thought of I'm probably going to have to do this again because you keep buggering up my

Instagram page. And then straight afterwards you're like, show me! Show me! Show me! Show me! Show me! Now again! Show me! Show me! Now again! The second most Instagrammable country, Hong Kong. It's got a beautiful skyline and a beautiful... But yeah, I mean, we're not on the list.

We should be above Hong Kong. I would have thought so. Hong Kong's so tiny be above Hong Kong. I would have thought so. Hong Kong's so tiny. There's Disneyland. I'm just looking. There's like a lookout and stuff. I suppose you could. And number one, which is going to really upset you because it's not New Zealand.

Is it in Europe? No. Actually, was there any Europe on here? No, there wasn't. Was there? Hasn't been, no. No. Number, was there any Europe on here? No, there wasn't. Was there? Hasn't been, no. No. Number one is Australia, the most Instagrammable country.

See, I'd be all right if we were like two or three. The sandy desert, then you've got the barrier reef. Yeah, you've got the beaches. You've got the caucasouthies. I mean, you know, at least. Yeah. I mean, it's close to us. How was this done? Was it by hashtags?

It's a panel, hashtags, and from readers of this magazine. Right. There is 50. I'm going to go look at the 50 and make sure we're in there somewhere. We better bloody be top 20. The Top Six with Vaughan Smith. I don't know about you guys, but I'm starting to warm to them. There's something about a rebellious family.

They're like the Wests of outrageous fortune, except they're British and they're tourists. And they're in the news for all of these shenanigans and they can't do anything now with that, New Zealand being like, well, yes! I think they made the West look more classy. I know, they really did. They really do.

They did. So, they've been travelling around New Zealand, had a court date yesterday at Hamilton, because that's what everybody does when they're a tourist, right? Having to end up attending district court. For stealing a Christmas tree from Caltex. And I think some sunglasses and some energy drinks. Yeah, because if you're going to steal sunglasses,

do it at the Petra station. Where they're like $9.99 in that Ariel brand, but A with the swish swish coming off the back of it. They look pretty crappy, don't they? Yeah. I love that the news sites have taken to, you know when there's like a natural disaster or an emergency or a live sporting event, they have the rolling coverage ticker? Yeah. And in the newsroom, they're updating it. The live blog.

The live blog. The live blog. Join us at NZ Herald for the live blog of what's happening with that travelling family. This family are having their holiday live blogged. I know. They're not going to worry about having to keep a journal like you do when you go on holiday. It's all been done for them. Like, there are breaking news alerts every hour.

It's ridiculous. Quite in-depth. Yeah. So today, apparently, they're going to Hobbiton. This is the tourist attraction in the hills of Matamata. God, I hope they make it to Rotorua. Oh, that'd be great. Down the luge.

I love that they're like, all this is going down and they're like, we are continuing our holiday. We will not be. We've come a long are continuing our holiday. We will not be. We've come a long way for this holiday. We'll rip shit and bust across your entire country like we plan to do. So if you've never been to Hobbiton, it's awesome. It's regularly, I think it's number one trip advisor for like the North Island. Yeah.

It's up there. It's a great day. But what are they going to make of it? Well, let's wait and see because no doubt there'll be media there. Great day for them. Great tour. Great bit of publicity for Hobbiton too. Yeah.

So the top six things the travellers will get up to at Hobbiton today. Number six, steal the bus that takes you down to Hobbiton on the track then claim they'd had it all the time. Because you might remember they tried to upgrade their huckery Mitsubishi Delica van in a car they'd bought not rented at a Hamilton car yard for a 12 seater van but they were told

to bugger off so they're on the lookout for a bigger family vehicle yeah and they'll be claiming that green bus with Hobbiton written down the side

but saying no this is our bus we've had it all along number five on the list of the top six things that travellers will get up to at Hobbiton today.

They'll take one of those old horse-drawn wagons, you know, the old caravan things with the tent over the top. They'll take that out for a spin in one of the nearby paddocks

just to, you know, honour their traveller ancestry. Because that's what they used to get around in before they got around in actual proper caravans, the old horse-drawn caravans. And there's a few of them

at Hobbiton. Purely for decoration, though. I don't know if they function that well. Number four on the list of the top six things the travellers will get up to at Hobbiton today. They'll have a bath in the lake by the Green Dragon pub. And there's a turning water wheel as well, too. So that's a shower option. Great.

I don't know if there's soap involved. Neither here nor there if you're showering in a grubby lake in the Waikato. Number three on the list of the top six things that travellers will get up to at Hobbiton today. They'll start eating the ornamental pumpkins that they grow there. Because if they plant actual pumpkins, those big pumpkins, to give a bit of scale feel to the whole thing. But they don't make good eating. But I personally hope they try and eat the apples in the basket under the apple tree because they're fake.

And there is no greater joy in life than seeing someone pick up and take a bite of fake fruit. Yeah. They don't do fake fruit now like they did in the 80s and 90s. You don't see a bowl of fake fruit for decoration anymore. God, that was good. If someone picked up an apple, you'd be like, mmm.

They'd bite it and be like, oh, that's fake. You'd be like, yes, I knew it was. Number two on the list of the top six things the travellers will get up to at Hobbiton today. They'll move into one of the Hobbit holes and just not leave. Squat is right. This is us now. It's where they live now.

Yeah. And the number one thing the travellers will get up to at Hobbiton today for today's top six, organise a drunken cage fight between that seven-year-old in the Bunnings hat and a guy dressed as Frodo Baggins. Oh, yeah. Same size. Yeah.

What's wrong with you, Frodo, you pussy? Get in there and fight him. Don't come back this way. I will stab you, Frodo. Fight the boy That is today's top six Well we're a couple of weeks away From school starting

And a couple of stories Have surfaced Parents getting Stationary Have you got a stationary list? Yep Ordered it You do it online now

Because remember when We went to school You had to go to the stationary shop Or they had a day A day A day where one of the rooms was the stationery room. You'd go in and get it. Was the school skimming off that? Was it 100 books?

Yeah, probably. There wasn't warehouse stationery when I went to school. No. But are the books like, because I remember the books being like 45 cents and stuff. Is that still a thing? No. I don't think they're? No. I know. See, I don't think they were as cheap.

I can't remember. But a 1B5, yeah, I'm pretty sure that was your low end, wasn't it? What's a 1B5 going for these days? It'd be at least a buck, wouldn't it? A dollar? On the stationary list. Get loud. But what were the hard, was it a 1B4 that was a hardcovered?

Yeah. Oh, it wasn't a hardcovered book of truth. That was my poetry book. 1B5. No, 1B5 is 25 cents here. I've just gone online. Paper Plus is 25 cents. That's nuts.

Warehouse stationery. That's nuts that something that can be made. 24 cents at warehouse stationery. How do they get them here? That's insane that you can buy a book for 24 cents. That's nuts. It is nuts. Because that probably had to be shipped from China or something.

How many came to make that worthwhile? A lot. If you've been to a stationery store. But it's not 1B5s that parents are getting upset about. And this happens every year at this time and increasingly more in the last few years. Parents are having to shell out for iPads or laptops. Oh, yeah, right.

Posh schools. Yeah, and I don't think they can make you, but you have to. If you're not bringing your own device, then I think your kid's going to be left behind. So these stories are coming out now and people are saying well it's a lot of money

especially if you've got a couple of kids. Because it's in the news at this time every year I'm just waiting for it. This year's stationery list didn't have an iPad on it but it had headphones on it.

For indie. Yeah. Headphones. A personal set of headphones. Not earphones. Like not in ears. Earbuds or headphones. I would have thought

they would be bad for a kid to be listening in earbuds. Think about how deaf we're all going to go and we've only kind of the iPod generation

only really started. Yeah, true. I know there were Walkmans and stuff. Yeah. You know, in the 90s. I didn't know this was on the stationary

list or when we were in Thailand, I would have got her some fake Peets by Dre. So she's at a higher social standing because she rocks in with some Peats by Dre. So she's at a higher social standing because she rocks in with some Beats by Dre. Is that a P?

And she's like, oh, no, it's Beats by Dre. It's just upside down. Or something. I'm not sure. Thanks, Thailand. Dad put you in Thailand. Don't tell them they're from Thailand, Indy. Next thing they'll be questioning

if your Louis Vuitton school bag's real. Which, of course, it isn't. But I'm waiting for the iPad day, because we've got two iPads, but I've got the nice iPad for watching shows on and taking to the gym and stuff. Yeah. But the other iPad is like the screens.

You take an iPad to the gym? Yeah. I just love you. I've got the nice iPad. Well, the other one, I got the new one because the old one started getting spots where if you touched it, no response. Oh, okay. Like they're pretty much the top fifth of it.

If you try to press back, you've got to rotate the whole thing and rotate the screen. I'm not putting up with that. I don't work hard to have to rotate a screen every time I want to go back to a menu. But I'm waiting for the day where she's like, I can't take the old broken iPad. I've got to take the new iPad. So then I get down traded again. Right. But isn't that nuts though?

Because iPads aren't cheap. No. But you don't need an iPad, right? He's got two. You don't need an iPad, right? You can get a tablet. Tablets, yeah. Home box, that kind of thing. What are those? What's that? Lenovo? A brand of...

It's a brand. Oh, right. Oh, your other pads, yeah. Listen to you. What's a Lenovo? No, Lenovo only rings a bell because a couple of Christmases ago mum was saying she really wanted a laptop. So we all chipped in. But then my brother and sister were like, don't get her an expensive one.

She only uses it for like email and Skype. I was like, yeah, but if you get a cheap one, it's going to rubbish it. And anyway, so they got a Lenovo. And then like this Christmas, I found the Lenovo in the toy box. Yeah. And I was like, what happened to this?

Mum's like, oh, that only lasted six months. And I looked at my sister and I wish my brother had been there because the look I gave my sister was the biggest, most beautiful

told yourself ever seen. I actually looked at her and gave the look and kept the exact look on my face and went to the mirror and looked at myself and I was like,

that's exactly how I want to look. That's exactly, that is exactly what I asked my brain to portray with facial muscles and then shoot at her.

How did she react to that? She was like, what? Like, you know how you conveniently forget what someone told you when they're giving you a told you so? Yeah. She's like, what? I was like, I told you that was a cheap piece of shit. And she was like, no, you didn't.

That classic. I was like, oh, look. Okay, right then. And I went into my emails and I searched and went back like two years and I was like, conversation. Of course you did. Of course I did. Well, it's important to be right. It was Christmas.

What else did I have to do other than spark an argument? Fletchborn and Megan's Community Notices. You all right? I just, yeah, I'm just going through them. This one's pretty good. I'm going to start with this one because it's made me laugh. These Community Notices have all come in over summer. We've started a brand new folder, ComNot 2019.

That's what it's called. It's on my desktop. So if you see anything on a local Facebook page that you think, this is lol, send it to us. Screen cap it and send it through to us. FVMZM on Facebook. That's the way to do it. And man, a bumper crop over summer.

Good. A bumper crop. Let's start with this one from the Governor's Bay community. Okay. Miranda writes, if anyone's looking for a responsible babysitter, currently aged 22 and fantastic with children of all ages We have one at home and available

She's currently on holiday So that's mum by the sounds of things Trying to get her 22 year old Out of the house A bit of extra pocket money And out of the house over summer So putting it on the community page The comment is from Kronos

That says Hi I'm 61 and I'd love a 22-year-old babysitter. But strongly suspect the wife might get a little upset. Oh, my God. Creepy. But funny. Yeah, but. Creepy, but, you know, like, funny.

At the same time. Creepy. I read that. So, had a couple of the little laughy reacts. Yeah. Apart from somebody who comments who has the same name as Miranda, the original poster. Okay. Nick writes, that's my daughter you're referring to, you bloody creep.

And at time of screencap No further correspondence But You know And that's a good lesson For us all Yeah Yep And don't creep on

22 year olds if you're 60 On Facebook But then I like to give them the benefit of the doubt. I think it was just going for a community lull. Yeah. Going for some community lulls.

This next comes in from, this page doesn't like being mentioned, so let's just not say what page it's on. Oh, you've said what it is now. But somebody needs help. Okay. I have a great possum.

Actual possum. Okay. Oh, okay. And I. Actual possum. Okay. Oh, okay. And I love to cuddle him, but he's always trying to bite my nipples. So cuddling becomes hard. Why are your nipples exposed? Are there any nipple covers or anything? Because I hate wearing bras.

You raise a good point, Megan. Wearing a singlet, but as you can see, he's... But also, I'm not down for pet possums. I know people occasionally will be like, oh, but my possums are so friendly. No, I don't think we should have them. They're a pest. Yeah.

All for the eradication of. Oh, my God. That's odd. Why would you share that? You've let a possum go on your nips. Yeah, like you wake up and the possum... It's bad enough when you wake up and the cat's like sleeping on your feet or... Yeah, and what if it's got like some disease?

You're going to end up with like a rashy nip. Oh, yeah, tuberculosis of the nip. Horrible. That was the big concern, wasn't it? Yeah. This one from the Pirao, Cornwallis and Huia community page. Chris writes, this is post-Christmas, after a very unfortunate

incident where I inadvertently shot my wife in the head with my new Nerf gun, I've been informed that I'm not mature enough to actually own one, so I'm giving away this ammo for free. And he's giving away a pack of 12 elite Nerf bullets. So he's still keeping the gun,

he's just giving away the extra ammo. Well, I guess he's open that. gun. He's just giving away the extra ammo. Well, I guess he's open that. Right, okay. She just had enough. Or maybe the gun's been destroyed. Oh, she smashed it over his head. Maybe.

Maybe. Now, usually on Facebook, if someone's lost their dog, the first thing they post on the local community page is how friendly it is and how lovely it is. Yeah. And then someone sees some rank-looking dog on Facebook and they're like, oh, out wandering without a collar on and they take a photo and they're like,

oh, this beautiful, well-fed, much-loved baby's lost his family. Yeah. Which drives me nuts when people do that about some, like, monster dog prowling the streets that makes me shut the gate and be like, oh Jesus. Shut up! Shut up! Get the dog out of sight! But this one's actually pretty honest from Tatahi Bay in Wellington, writes, my boy's

just got out of the gates. He's one of the, he's a huge mastiff. Okay. Monster, like a big dog. Look, like a big. Oh, wow. Okay. That would look like a big dog. Yeah. like a big. Oh, wow. Okay, that would look like a big dog.

Yeah, my boy's just got out of the gate again. He's a bit aggressive. But he's a good boy. His name's Monster. Please contact me ASAP if you see him. He does tend to bite if you play with him. Wow, okay. Okay.

Well, she's honest. Honest. Yeah. Okay. Okay. Well, she's honest. Honest. So a commenter says, I hope you find him before he bites someone or another animal to which the original poster writes,

he only acts like that when someone starts scaring him or starts playing with him. So acting nice. So at both ends of the scale, if you yell at him,

he'll bite you. But if you're nice and want to pat, he'll also bite you. He likes to bite. But worry not, we found him this time before he bit anybody. Oh, brilliant. Great news. Great news. Those are today's community

notices. If you see anything on your local Facebook page, screen cap it and send it to ours. FVM ZM on Facebook. FVM ZM. Sorry, just coming back into the studio. I've just been talking to my PR team about how we can make the most out of what I'm about to tell you. You do something good, you want people to know about it. Vaughan, why do you sing your own praises?

Well, no one else will. How does your wife put up with it? You do one chore or one job around the house and then you go on and on about it. Yeah. I don't know how she puts up with it. I'm not going to ask her because then that might bring to light the fact that she's putting up with a lot. Yeah.

But I've done something and, well, I'm not saying a medal's required, but I wouldn't say no to a knighthood. I took it upon myself to eradicate a noxious weed. Okay. At your house? At my house. Why do you need a medal? That's just gardening.

Well, because it has come to my attention. You know when you don't know about something? Didn't you mow the lawns the other day? Do you want a medal, Megan? Yeah, where's my medal? Well, grass isn't a noxious weed. Okay. Grass is quite nice.

What makes it a noxious weed as opposed to just a weed? I don't know, but this is like five of the worst. This is five of the worst. This is number one. What weed are we talking? Old man's beard? Must go? That got its own advertising campaign.

That must have been a real sumbitch. I remember being a kid and everywhere you went, they were like, old man's beard, get rid of it. Because that was getting into the native forest, wasn't it? Right. And it was that old guy on the telly. He'd be like, old man's beard, strangling the native trees. Did you have old man's beard, get rid of it. Because that was getting into the native forest, wasn't it? Right. And it was that old guy on the telly. He'd be like, old man's beard, strangling the native trees. Did you have old man's beard?

No, I didn't have old man's beard. What have you got? I had woolly nightshade. Woolly nightshade? Woolly nightshade. Is that the same as deadly nightshade? It's not deadly. It looks like deadly nightshade.

This is because I did my research. It sounds like a plant that someone on a murder mystery on a TV show would use to kill their husband. Could you do that? Or just cause a very severe allergic reaction to her husband. So I've just googled it. It's got um, ooh this sound, that's from South America. I know.

It came in here, looking all hot and such. It looks very unassuming though. I thought it would have like spiky leaves. This is how I found out what it was. Because this guy came around, he's going to cut down a tree and I was like, hey, why are you here? What's this? And I grabbed it. Yeah. And he was like,

let it go. And I let it go. I was like, why? He's like, don't touch that with bare hands. I was like, what is it? He's like, it's woolly nightshade. It's really bad. It's like, it's got little fibres and stuff and everything about it is poisonous. It poisons the ground around itself so that other things can't grow and like take over its...

What a bitch. It's a real bitch. I know. Stop being a bitch, Plum. It's like Donald Trump. It wants a wall and its wall is poison so it can't go around it. Okay.

So I was like, oh, okay. There's a fair bit of it around. He's like, yeah, you want to get rid of it, but if you're going to cut it down, you've got to wear a mask because when you cut it, the fibres come off it and they go into you and cause like a real bad reaction in your lungs. A real bad reaction. A real bad reaction.

And he's like, it's got a natural carcinogen in it, so you can get cancer from it. Because of the poison that it uses to poison the ground. I was just... Horrible. I know. Thank you. Thank you. Here we go. Yep. Thank you. So I started pulling it all down. Now most of it that I'd seen

around the place... Oh, and it gets these little berries on it. Yeah. That go yellow and then the kereru. Oh, kia ora. The kereru. The bird of the year the kereru the bird of the year last year 2018's bird of the year the wood pigeon

it eats the berries because we've cut down all the trees that had its berries that it loved and so it eats these berries and then it flies

around and poops them out and then its poop is like a little perfect little fertilizer to grow more so what you're

saying is we need to kill the kereru pretty much shoot the messenger shoot the messenger so most of them fertiliser to grow more. So what you're saying is we need to kill the kete do. Pretty much. Shoot the messenger. Shoot the messenger. So most of them around the house were like, the ones that I found, they grow real quick, were like maybe the width of my finger.

And I found a big one that was maybe like half the width of my wrist. I'm like, that's a big one. And then I knew there was a big one amongst these trees. So I went in there and I found one that would have been bigger than my leg

it is it was an absolute thickness like a trunk I had to get my chainsaw out girthy well girthy mate

and long but you have to pull it out of the ground because the ground around it is poison well so no I've poisoned the trunk

oh okay I bought this stuff so I cut it off with a chainsaw. Shada comes out. She's like, what are you doing? I was like, and look how girthy this one is. Had to get the chainsaw out. And so I've cut it down.

Yeah. And I painted the stump with the stuff, but I'm also going to drill holes in the stump and pour a little bit of poison in there. God. I know. It's what I've always wanted to do to a tree because you know

you hear about rich people doing this to trees that are blocking their views. Yeah. But I've never had a tree blocking my views and I don't want to kill a lovely tree.

You've never lived by a beach. No. That's probably why. So now I get to live my dream of being a rich beach wanker but without actually killing a beautiful native tree. But just being poor with weeds.

Yeah. Doing it with weeds. Did you actually wear all the protective gear? I did. A mask? I did. I wore a gas mask. And you know what I kept doing?

I kept going. I did two things. Luke, I am your father. Which was one of my favourites. But the other one was, you adopted the darkness, but man, I was born into it. So I was Bane and Darth Vader How long are Killing the Weeds Should it have taken and how long did it take There was a fair bit of that

And there was a fair bit of like Shadi come Shadi come and have a look at this one Shadi She's not coming Put my gas mask back on. I could have died. I would have died.

So, yeah, again, I don't. But now the problem is I've never heard of it. Yeah. But now I'm seeing it everywhere. Right. And, like, there's other people who haven't got rid of theirs. And now I'm a bit like, can you get rid of that, please? Because it's so bad.

Yeah, right. But then I just was looking it up on this list and I found all these other weeds and I'm like, well, I know for a fact I've seen that around the house. So now I've got more weeds to take care of.

This is great. Shada's got lots of spare time now. You out of the house. She loves it. In fact, she's probably planting the weeds. And fertilising them. The housing crisis

in Auckland has just reached next level. This is, I just don't think I could do this. So some people are now resorting to sharing a bed with a stranger. So not only like. Like not a bedroom. No, no, no.

A bed. So. How often do you share your bed with a stranger? Maybe you should start charging. Which is weird because you've got the spare room, but you're just, you're like, we're talking about the crisis. Well, this is a crisis.

Oh, they pay for this and then they don't get kicked out in the morning. Oh, right. He didn't expect her to take this turn. This early. So some Aucklanders are paying up to $100 a week to live in someone's lounge or someone even paid $195 a week to share a bed with another woman, but a stranger.

A complete stranger. For six months. God, you'd want that to at least be a king. Yeah. So there's a little bit of a, maybe you'd make a pillow wall. You definitely need a wall. A pillow wall. But yeah, there's advertisements and it said share bed for preferably a girl.

And there's lots of these. Long term preferred. I remember talking to a friend at the end of last year who was looking for just a room in a flat in Auckland. And yeah, was telling me stories like this. That yeah, you'd have two beds in a room with a and yeah, was showing, was telling me stories like this. That yeah, you'd have two beds in a room

with a stranger. Bunk beds? Or just seem crazy not to have bunk beds because there's more room for activities. I would even do like two single beds

in a room with like a flatmate but sharing the bed with someone's a bit weird. Would you? What? Do two single beds?

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. In a room of a stranger. The thing is, people are desperate. At your age. And it's only... If I had to, yeah. Because that's like

an 18-year-old's game in my mind. Like an 18-year-old that's moved to Queenstown because they're going to be their professional snowboarder and they've just got to do some tough times

before they get a major sponsor. But, you know, that sort of thing. You move to somewhere super expensive that's seasonal. Like I had friends that went to Whistler in Canada and they just knew

they were going to be sharing a room. Yeah. With somebody. Yeah. But then people, and you hear stories about people, Kiwis doing their OE

in London and stuff and it gets that bad. Auckland's a great city but it's not share a room with a stranger for $400 a week great. No. But if you're working

or like studying in the CBD and you can't afford to do all that travel, then it's just necessary for some people. And it's only going to get worse because now's the kind of time where I guess like everyone's doing the New Year move. Yeah. But if you're working and you're paying $400 a week

to share a bed with someone, surely you can get your own room in an outer suburb for $200 a week and allocate $200 a week for travel. And Surely you can get your own room in an outer suburb for 200 bucks a week and allocate 200 bucks a week for travel. And then you've got your own room. But maybe you don't have a car. No, public transport. Ew.

Mate, you're sharing a bed with a stranger. Sitting next to someone on the train isn't going to kill you. I would rather share the bedroom. Are you serious? Yeah. I don't even know how to catch the bus. You're such a public transport snob. I don't even know how to catch the bus. You're such a public transport snob.

I don't even know how to catch the bus. There's one that stops outside my house. I'm like, how do you get on that? Do you pay? The door opens. You step onto it. Do you give them coins? How do you know where it's going?

I kind of get what you're... I've found sometimes the bus drivers, because they've been doing it for so long, they forget that a lot of people have never been on a bus before. Right. But when I ask questions, they don't really want to answer them. What questions are you asking? Like about how you pay and...

And where are you going? Someone said, how many stages? I was like, I don't know, mate, up the shops. And can you just drop me off somewhere or do I have to stop at the specific places? It's not a limousine, Megan. It's not a giant limo. I get that he can't turn off his route, but can he stop just before?

No. Choose a stop. If I give you five bucks, can you go off the route? If I was a bus driver and someone offered me five bucks, I'd do a cheeky stop. Just to make a slight detour. Yeah. Well, I don't know if I'd make a detour, but I'd stop at not a bus stop. Right.

As long as I wasn't deviating. Yeah. How much would it cost you to deviate? $10 or $20 I might deviate. See, but we've broken you now. You're corrupt. You've already betrayed your profession. Right.

It's a slippery slope. Yeah. It's a very slippery slope. And then before you know it, I'm taking fair money. Bingo. You've got your fingers in the till. Right. I've got an Instagram post that I'm going to do tonight,

but I've got a little issue. I know. You've planned your post. Absolute first world problem. Well, you know, you've got to plan your Instagram post. People get very excited, you know, and they plan out their post. So tonight I'm going to do an Instagram post. I've got some photos.

Are we talking like a sponsored post? No. What do you mean plan out their posts. So tonight I'm going to do an Instagram post. I've got some photos. Are we talking like a sponsored post? No. What do you mean plan out your post? Well, I've got a great photo. It's a real cute gram from this holiday. I've got a cute gram from my holiday because I did a tour and I got the photos back today. Right.

So I saw the Northern Lights, which is like. So what's the plan? Run me through the plan. Do you plan? Plan the gram? Well, no, I'm just going to put it up later when most people are on. Oh, you're going to try to hit max in the morning. You've got to get max.

I don't want to put it up at 11 o'clock in the morning because no one will like it. Now, for people who this is news to, what's max penetration time? Well, it's starting at like 5pm, wouldn't it? And then it gets better at like 8pm. Yeah, about 8 o'clock. You'd want to post your brand. Whenever I'm just scrolling on the couch.

Yeah, because you're on the couch. You're scrolling and watching TV. Right. That's your max time. Your peak audience time. Seven to what? Ten. Seven to nine. Right. That's your max time. Your peak audience time. Seven to what? Ten. Seven to nine.

Oh, seven to nine. Still a lot of people though, online. Yeah, okay. So I've decided I'm going to put this post up. So I've got this photo of me and in the back, the Northern Lights. Like absolute dream. Now that's the netball team. Northern Stars.

Those are the Northern Mystics. Northern Mystics. Oh, those are stars. Oh, Christ. Yeah. So it's me and the Northern Mystics Northern mystics Oh those are stars Oh Christ Yeah So it's me And the northern mystics And the netball team

See I'm I'm more of a I'm more of a pulse guy myself Yeah yeah yeah I'm more Yeah So absolute like Travel bucket

Like um You know Travel bucket Bucket list Bucket list Uh activity Yeah So get these photos back From the tour that I did And they are They're really good like, you know. Travel bucket list. Bucket list. Bucket list activity. So get these photos back from the tour that I did and they're really good.

It is a really good picture. But we had hoped so. And they've put their stupid company logo in the bottom left of all the photos. I've got the same problem when I go to festivals and ZM wants to take a photo of me and my friends. And then they say it'll be on the website later and then eight months later they upload it,

and it's got a bloody ZN watermark on it. Christ. I'm not advertising them. I just wanted a nice photo. I didn't know there was a catch. I don't want to put it up tonight at 7.30. Exactly. You can see my dilemma.

I live it. It's not even a watermark, though. So most of the photo's dark because it's Northern Lights. It's like a logo. It's a logo. And it's a yuck logo too. It ruins the buzz. It ruins the entire photo. And I could see baby boomers that just post this to their Facebook album. They wouldn't

care. But I need a Photoshop expert to remove that. Now how much would someone charge for that? $5 a photo? There's three photos. Can't you just scribble black over top of it? No?

Crop it out? No. You crop it out, you lose too much of the photo. I've tried that. I've had a little preview. You need the vast expanse of the... I've got people here at work that do Photoshop every day for work, and I see them, and they do things real quick.

Like, technically, could they do it? You know, and they can do their actual job real quick when they're bogged down with personal requests to like them. But I know that people

that do Photoshop hate it when people are like, hey, can you just quickly do this? It'll only take you a minute. It'll only take you a minute. It'll only take you a minute. Yeah.

But like, what's a good, because I'm thinking this could be a job. Right. What's a good amount? To pay someone. To pay someone to do this.

Like do I have to fill out an IRD form? This seems ridiculous for $5. I asked Mountie who works here to do me a little favour once. Okay. What kind of work? It was a video that needed something beyond my capabilities. How much work? I don't know.

Right, okay. That's a good question. I just said, would you be able to do this? Right. I said, and then I will Uber Eats you whatever you want for lunch. And that was her eyes lit up. I saw the whites of her eyes. I knew I had her like a snapper.

How much did she charge though? How much was that? How much did the Uber Eats come to? I think it was like 20 bucks. It was like a luxurious mac and cheese and something else. That's not bad. Okay. Fletch is like, that's more than I was willing to pay.

Knowing a few graphic designers and my wife is very capable. Oh, shake your toe. What's she doing today? I'll ask her. Yeah, you can try. She won't say no to you, but I'll hear about it. Fletch said you should ask her. Yeah, you can try. She won't say no to you, but I'll hear about it. Fletch said you should ask me. And then I'll say, yeah, but what else are you doing today?

And you'll be in the dog box. It'll be my fault. Yeah, right. No, no, it won't be your fault. You'll be fine, mate. What about that website Fiverr? I reckon it's worth a go. Primarily because if you've never used Fiverr,

basically what you do is you go on, you create a profile, and you list a job you want done, and somebody's on there who said, I'll do it for Fiverr. $5. You give them $5. And they do the job. New Zealand or Pounds or US? Oh, I think it was US when I did it.

Okay, so Sevener. And it's just funny most of the time of what a huckery job they do. I don't want a huckery job. This is a great photo. They can't mess it up. I almost think we put it on Fiverr and we take like five people on Fiverr to do it and see who does, because there'll be at least two very comical attempts. Because there's people on there who just want $5 because you can't,

the condition is you just pay the five bucks. Right. And they just do it. Right. And you're just like, that's. Yeah, but I don't, because I see people on Reddit, they're like, Photoshop this out of my photo and they take the piss. This is a serious. I know.

I've got an Instagram post out of this. Okay. All right. Well, we'll go to five. Serious business. We'll see how that goes. Spy is coming up. You know, I just had a business opportunity pop into my, you know how we do, I joked before

about the ZM logo on photos. Yeah. That's free. They pay for the one without the logo. People would pay, would people not pay two bucks for a good photo at a festy? That we email to them.

Ross Boss is out there, I've just spotted you. You want people to have a great experience? Don't roll your eyes. This company's looking for revenue streams. I just think there's other things you could be doing like your job. Revenue streams. other than worrying about this

just don't worry I'm not even going to listen to you I'll take it straight to the CEO mate Megan Watson's bye It's the start of the year I'm not a new year new me sort of guy and I didn't want to I didn't want to like talk about it

because I just set myself silent goals and just get on with it, you know. But I set myself a little one and not too big because I don't want to fail. It's the important thing about life. Don't set yourself up for failure. Be realistic about what you're after. But I shared this with the show, with you guys, and you're like, oh, you should encourage people. I was like, well, I don't care about them.

Didn't we laugh first of all? Yeah, I think that you should share what you try to make me feel better about than talking about it. So your goal for 2019 is to be able to touch my toes without bending my knees. That's all I want to be able to do by the end of the year.

You don't have any other goals. You haven't set out to achieve anything else this year no like most people like you know i've got a financial goal i've got a life goal i've got a work goal like what about work goals you must have some you want to make the show like he's just like turn up oh i'm doing as much as i can okay you know so your only goal is by the end of the year to be able to touch my toes without bending my knees. I've never been able to do it. You've spoken about this a few times. Never.

Even when I was a kid, I can never remember a time. You know when you're a kid and you're super flexible? Yep. And then you get old and it stops happening. But I've never been able to touch my toes. There's a freckle on my shin and that's as far as I've ever been able to get. But you must have been when you were young. No, never.

What about when you were never being flexible? Maybe your skeleton's just not meant to. But it's not, isn't it the, it's the muscle and stuff, right? It's not the skeleton. This is achievable. You've just got to, every day, you've got to be stretching more and more. Do some more stretches.

Yeah, like some yoga, some Pilates. Well, I did a Pilates. Okay. At the gym. Right. I did a Pilates. Okay. At the gym. Right. I did one of those virtual classes. Best time to, because I always go before work, which is crazy o'clock in the morning,

but the best thing is no one else is there to see me Pilate. Pilate-ing. Pilate-ing. Pilate-er. And that's good because I'm not very good at Pilates, thus because I've said I'm not very flexible. Right. So when you did the Pilates class, did you get to the freckle?

Yeah. The stretch. You got to the freckle. I just passed. But then afterwards I felt very much more stretchy. Right. Look, I don't know the official term. Okay.

I don't want to be a yogi. Don't get me wrong. You're not going to see me on Facebook doing a yoga pose on the top of the mount being like, blessed be the fruit of my efforts and the universe is vibrating my waves of kombucha. Do you know who's very flexy and somewhat of a yogi?

Your twin, Ben Barrington. Does he yoga? Short, lynchstrict. Yeah. Okay. He's very flexible. Maybe he can show you a thing or two. The CEO's just messaged me. He said, do you need me

to set you a work goal? He obviously wasn't listening before when I came up with that revenue gathering thing for the company. That's the thing, I don't set goals,

I just stumble across them. Right, yeah. Just be like goals I just stumble across them Right yeah Just be like I just accidentally Find goal lines That sort of thing So Megan and I Were thinking on the back

Of your cute Because it is a cute goal So I'll tell you How far away I am Because yesterday I tucked a tape measure Under my toe Yeah

Like one of those Retractable ones That your dad was always like Don't play with it You bloody break it Yeah That you'd send Across the floor

Yeah it's a good fun. So I tucked the thing under my toe and then I bent over with the other end and when I got as far as I could, I clicked it and it was 18 centimetres. 18 centimetres? 18 centimetres. Away from your toes. Away from my toes. That's quite far.

And that's freckles. So your freckles at 18 centimetres. Freckles at 18 centimetres. And you just want to be able to tuck your tip. I want to be able to get the finger under the big toe. Not on the hand. I don't want to get my hand on the ground. We can do an uptake minus freckle every week and see where you're at.

And we're aiming for 18 under freckle. 18 minus freckle. Freckle minus 18. So Megan and I are on the back of this. We're thinking we could take some calls of people's cute goals for 2018. Maybe it's not a big goal. It's just a little goal. Oh, like my 2017 goal.

I wanted to wear lipstick every day. How did that go? Most days. But then I got to the weekend. I was like, what am I putting lipstick on for? But you had the goal of 2017 as well, not to eat chips all year. And you did that. Yeah, and I did that.

A whole year. That's right. Yeah. Yeah, that's a big goal. It's just a little goal. Okay, well. And I'm a big fan of little goals. Well, yeah, because you're achievable.

And then you don't feel bad when you don't achieve it. Yeah. 0800 dials at M9696. Do you have a cute goal for 2019? Give us a call. Talking about your cute goals for 2019, Vaughn would like to touch his toes. And you've got to apologise.

I do, because someone said you spin around and you can touch your toes, but I thought it was one of those things where you spin around, you make yourself dizzy, and then when you lean over, you further do, and then your face plants. Head butt the ground. But someone said, I promise you it's legitimate, so I gave it a go, and it actually does work. Is it because you're stretching out your back when you spin around or something?

I don't know. Because someone said it's probably either your back or your hamstrings that are stopping you. It's definitely my hammies. Oh, your tight hammies. Yeah, you have. Toy tammies. So we're hearing from people about their cute goals from 2019,

and there's some actually really good ideas that we're hearing. Some great ideas. Some little 2019 goals text messaged in. Just to reduce my use of plastic. Not just plastic bags, but little things like sushi trays and plastic bottles. How do you reduce sushi trays? Well, eat in or maybe take a Tupperware container. You put your hands out and they just load it up with sushi.

Somebody said, and I will read this out and will admire it, but then there's a warning with it as well. My goal for 2019 is to show appreciation a little bit more towards the missus. Little random gifts here and there and just generally showing a bit more appreciation. If that's going to come out of the blue, though, from no gifts in 2018, she's going to think she cheated. No, little. Little.

Oh, you're not big. Here's my warning. Don't tell her. Your goal. Because then if like three weeks passes and she's a bit tired, she'll be like, I wish someone had stuck to their 2019 goal. And then you're going to be like, where did that come from? Because it came out of nowhere.

And then you're going to start resenting her for rubbing your goal in your face and then your goal's off the tracks. Yeah, it's true. Sinead, what's your cute goal for 2019? I want to learn hobbies. I want to have a hobby. So I'm going to do, like, one hobby every month. So 12 hobbies in 12 months.

And then at the end of it, you're like, this was my favourite. This is my new hobby. Well, I will be average at 12 different things. So that's a start. Okay, so what is January new hobby well i will be average at 12 different things so that's a start okay so what is what is january's hobby then it's the guitar so oh you can't do that for a month how good are you at that after 17 i've learned like three chords so and a very average intro to hey go so do you think you'll carry or when it gets to February, that's it, you'll put the guitar away? Or you carry on?

Well, no, I'm trying to, like, stagger them so I can, like, keep doing them a little bit throughout the year. So nothing too hardcore at the start. Are you YouTubing tutorials on all of your hobbies? I really like this. Do you have any ideas for February's hobby? Well, cooking. Now, don't laugh, but I don't have a signature dish.

So, that's right. You're going by the 100, wouldn't I love? That's great. I really love that idea. It's a good idea. It's really cool. Sinead, thanks for your call. Chanel, what's your cute goal for 2019? To do more than one sit-up

and more than zero push-ups. That's a very small goal. How's that going so far? It's fine. I wasn't able to do a push-up three weeks ago, and I can do one, and I can do two, and then I kind of fall over. This is great.

Still improving. That's good. So at this rate you could do like 20 by december oh maybe maybe you've got 348-ish days to go in the year you're well on track yeah the setups are not so easy though i can do crunch i can do a crunch but i can't do a setup i just don't just don't, no ab strength at all. Well, more and more H-Day Chanel things you call. Some other text messages in for your little 2019 goals.

I really like this one. If it'll take less than five minutes to do, do it immediately. No, I see. I agree with that. But then also I, like, say, for example, I'm cleaning my place. Yeah. You know, I'll be vacuuming and I'll see something and I'll be like, oh, I agree with that, but then also I, like, say, for example, I'm cleaning my place. Yeah. You know, I'll be vacuuming and I'll see something and I'll be like, oh, I'll do that. And then I'll be like, oh, I need to do that.

Oh, you get distracted. And then I do like... Oh, you're not a finisher. I get distracted by things. That's how I function too. But they mean things like if you've just cooked and you're like, well, I do the dishes now, just get it out of the way and get it done. Yeah, I like that.

Or put the laundry away when you bring it in. Rather than just folding it and putting it on the floor drobe. My thing is, yeah, just start it. If you just get started, you'll probably finish it and then it's just done. Yeah. Somebody else had said that when they started the year, they did 19 small things to achieve in 2019.

And it's just things like going for a walk at the Waihi Gorge, for example. They said it's just, we've always talked about it and we've never done it. So just get it done. The 2019 is the year of just getting it done, they said. Okay. That's good.

Well, we're still in January, so. Little steps. I know, heaps of time. Oh, no, I mean like heaps of time to let that resolution go. Well, yesterday was an embarrassing day for me because I shared just to some friends. You forget with this job.

I know, because we're just sitting in front of you two. You're like, blah, blah, blah. You say something, you know, it's out there. There's repercussions. Sometimes there are repercussions. So I shared with you all, just, you know, my friends, that there was an incident when I was overseas on a lime scooter with some cobblestones and some camp labanga,

some food poisoning, and there was an incident. You shook the poos out of you. And you had to throw away your undies. I threw away the shame. Just got rid of that. Yesterday. Yeah. Finish the show.

This pops up on the Herald news app. Yeah. Someone screenshots this and sends it to me from London. A friend in London

sent this to me. First thing I know about this. First story. The Thai cavers. You know the boys in the Thai cave? Yeah. A story came out yesterday

that they were like handcuffed and drugged to get them out. To get them out. Which, the truth behind the rescue. It's like, yeah,

they were handcuffed so they wouldn't rip their masks off. And they couldn't sweat. Like, they got out. Yeah. They got out. What are you complaining about?

Yeah. They're out, aren't they? Put your engine. Below that, photo of my face aghast with a poo emoji. Radio host poos himself on Lime Scooter. More bad press for Lime Scooter. I told you they'll pick it up because they love a Lime Scooter story. Baby boomers, it's clickbait for baby boomers.

Anything with a Lime Scooter in it, isn't it? And so I get messages yesterday when this pops up. You just forget that you say something and it goes out there. It's a good lesson for the internet as well. You put something up on the internet and that forever comes back to warn you. And you can't choose what you're going to be known as. That's the thing. What happens if now, say for example, I went for a job interview or something.

We get fired. And I'm like, well, I'm going to get a job. We're not going to get fired. I don't know. Have you heard something? I haven't heard anything. But say, for example, we did. And I'm going for a job interview.

And they're like, okay, well, he's down to the final stages. Better Google him. Better Google him. And that's the first thing that comes up. Oh, we don't want someone working for us that shat himself on a Lime scooter. Well, I think that's kind of the least of your worries because you've got no other skills. That's worry number one. Are you saying that if I was going for a job that I wouldn't need to Google?

You wouldn't get that far down the track. And I'm a user. It could be great for like an ambassadorship, like a brand ambassador for adult nappies. Oh, so you say Lime doesn't want it? Moving forward. Oh, not for Lime Scooter. No, I had all those jokes yesterday in the inbox. Don't worry, you're doing it.

You want me to get you some? Or what about like ready mix concrete? And it's like you come down someone's driveway on a Lime Scooter and you'd be like, that's a smooth pour. Didn't shit myself once. And then it goes, ready mix concrete. If you want smooth concrete, contact ready mix. I was sick with food poisoning.

I have an excuse. Right. There's a new dating term for 2019. We're already arguing about this. It's called cookie jarring. So before we argue, I'll explain exactly what cookie jarring is. This might be a new term, but I don't think it's a new thing. No, they've just labelled something we're all well aware of. So if you

are seeing someone for a while, but you aren't sure where it's going and you haven't had the We Are exclusive chat, so there is it's still kind of up in the air. And then you find out the whole time they've also been getting to know someone else and then you're kind of ghosted. So maybe you were the backup option. That's called cookie jarring. So if they don't like one

cookie, they just get rid of it and get another cookie out of the jar. Now you can argue that's just how people date now, isn't it? Because of dating apps. Isn't that just how people have dated forever? You are with someone until someone better comes along and then you find someone that's the best and then you marry them. Not, see, I feel like this has happened to my friend recently, my friends actually, where

you kind of like, so you go on dating apps and you like meet a few people, but you'd go on a, you'd go on a date and you'd meet one that you're like, okay, I'm going to check to this guy or whatever. Yeah. And this is, means like if you're going out for a few weeks, you're chatting all the time, you're going on dates and like hooking up and stuff, and you think, okay, well, we're going to have the chat soon, and then all of a sudden they're gone.

Oh, poor naive Megan. And you find out they're with someone else. You've never used a dating app. No. Because you were with your husband for so long. Yeah, but this has happened to my friend. I know, but this is how people do it. No, this is how guys date.

I don't think Jessica likes it. No, I guarantee you. I'm talking about after weeks of being with someone, you'd be, like, girls get emotionally attached to the point where you're ready to be like, okay, are we boyfriend and girlfriend? And then suddenly they're like, with someone else. That's like, you're emotionally into it at that point.

And then suddenly they've got another cookie. Yeah, they probably found a squiggle and there's a real nice. Like I know that you go. Or like the bigger one with more icing on it. Yeah. Like on dating apps, you go on like multiple dates with people and you might like chat to a few people at once. But like once you're down the road of like going on dates and like hooking up with each other and talking every day on, you know, messaging each other every day, isn't it to the point where you kind of like, you don't expect them to be.

Wait, so the next cookie they've been doing that with as well. Yeah. Or the next cookie they've kind of just spotted. No, the next cookie they've been doing. They've been doing that as well. Yeah. I took it more. Because next minute you turn around and they've got a girlfriend.

Like they were just going about their life and then they were like, this person's like, hey, and they're like, hey, and then they're like, that's my next cookie. And that's a better cookie than the cookie I was eating. So, and then they get the better one. Oh, there's the cookies all in the jar at once. Oh, right. So they've got, oh, right.

They've got a jar of cookies on the go. It's called Tinder. But then that's not cookie jar to me. You're baking the cookies there. That's what I mean. Like once you're baking, that's not cool. You know, because sometimes the best cookie, before you put it in the oven, you're like, that is the one I jar to me. You're baking the cookies there. That's what I mean. Like once you're baking, that's not cool. You know, because sometimes the best cookie, before you put it in the oven,

you're like, that is the one I want to eat. And then you get it out and it's spread out. It's gone a bit yuck. And you see one of the other ones and you're like, I wasn't expecting you to be the prick of the bunch. I feel like every couple of months is a new analogy. Yeah. For the same thing.

Is that naive though? Because like I know you haven't had the exclusive chat, but you're kind of under the influence that you're both on the same thing. Is that naive though? Because I know you haven't had the exclusive chat, but you're kind of under the influence that you're both on the same journey to find out if it's something. Very naive. The first Tinder date you should say, give me your phone, what's your password?

I'm going to go through all your messages. Who else are you talking to? Yeah, that's sane. It's completely sane. Eddie's called up. Eddie, you've got an opinion. Oh, I just heard we would have something to say to what Megan made a comment about and what boys do. Eddie, you've got an opinion. Oh, I just had a wee bit of something to say to what Megan made a comment

about what boys do. Okay, hit me. I just feel like that's quite a generalisation, eh? Like, there's still plenty of ladies out there that do the same. Yeah.

Has it happened to you? Oh, yeah. Oh, I'm sorry, Eddie. Take it back. No, because I think you just don't know, Megan, because you've never been on dating apps.

But do you think that cookie-jarring is a fair thing to do or do you think it's a bit rough? I think there's probably a time frame. Yeah, and what is it? Like, this happened recently, but it wasn't even on a dating site. But I don't know. Like, I think you know when you're getting serious with someone. You know, there's probably anything over a month

that's kind of start leading someone on. Yeah. Like how long if a dude did it before you start calling him a duck boy if he was dragging two or three girls around. Yeah. Well, once you get emotionally attached after a few weeks, that's when I think you either need to be like, okay, we're going to cut it or we're going to see where this goes.

You need to choose from me or the other six people that you're talking to right now. Well, Eddie, I take it back. I'm sorry. Somebody said cooking jar was just what we called going to university before they were dating Adams. That's a fair call though. Halls of residence

like a smorgasbord. Right, Fletch? Fact of the day. What did you write the song for? Fact of the day, did you write the song for? Fact of the day Day, day, day, day Excuse me Excuse me, still happening Today's fact of the day

Is kind of Climate change-y, man. Okay. Okay. I don't know. There must be a conference-y, worldwide conference going on where they're talking a lot about climate change

because I'm seeing a lot of facts and figures being thrown around. Well, the world's being decimated by it, so maybe that's why you're seeing it. Is this about the eyelashes? No. Oh. Go on.

No, in Siberia, the Instagram, like Instagram, what do you call them? Influencers are upset because it's too warm to get ice lashes at the moment. You know when you get like icicles on your eyelashes, usually they do like selfies of that. But it's not cold enough. It's not cold enough. They're like, ah. Well, I saw somebody pop up one of those

because you know everyone's doing the 10-year challenge at the moment. Yeah. One of those ice cap, they did an ice cap. It was a 20-year difference, but it's real small now compared to 20 years ago. Yeah. Political stuff. Right there. So one of the other things I saw that if every device

that functioned on fossil fuels, so I'm talking like cars, trucks, planes, boats, all your vehicles, but also all the power plants and everything, went to 100% renewable energy when they naturally stopped working. So when your car stops working next time, that's replaced by an electric car, still wouldn't be enough. Oh, okay. So stop climate change.

So it's too late. Yeah. Oh, stop it then. So just single use place of bags, I guess. That's sad. So there's nothing we can do. Well, I don't know. No, because they reckon we've got X amount of years

if we can get our emissions down to kind of slow it down and change it? Is that what they say? It's an ever-closing window. It's an ever-closing window. Now, one of the options, one of the hugest producers of carbon dioxide and everything that's heating up the atmosphere and causing climate change is power stations that still run on fossil fuels. Coal, the diesel, generators, all of them, they all contribute. So nuclear scientists, and having just been to Chernobyl. Yeah, nothing can go wrong.

Nothing can possibly go wrong. Nuclear power. Fukushima. Yeah. Three Mile Island. Nothing to see here. But apparently the number of people who died as a result of the Chernobyl disaster

pales in comparison to the people who have died as a result of other non-nuclear industrial accidents to do with power production. Well, there are a lot of nuclear power plants still around the world and they're fine. So in America, this is the average American, the entire lifetime of electricity usage powered by nuclear energy would produce long-term waste that fits into the size of a soda can. Okay.

That's today's fact of the day. Wow. If we all went nuclear powered, if all of our power stations were nuclear, the life, the long-term waste of each person would be one soda can. It's a gamble, isn't it? Yeah, as long as the nuclear power plants don't blow up.

But also, when I saw it, I was like, wow, that's amazing. We should have to carry that can around. That was my first thought. And I would definitely get like a cooler for mine because it might be hot. But you know those little things you get like a stubby holder? I probably wouldn't carry mine around. I'd probably dump it in someone's rubbish. Here's the problem.

So I thought soda can, not that big a deal. Seven billion soda cans?'s the problem. Okay. So I thought, soda can, not that big a deal. Yeah. Seven billion soda cans? Oh, yeah. Okay. That's a lot, right? Yeah. Just crush them down.

And that's only the people that are alive right now. Put them in a rocket. We'll send them out into outer space. That's another great idea. Although if that blew up in the sky.

Why are we shooting more rubbish at the sun? It seems we've got this big fire going. You know when you light a fire and you're just chucking rubbish on it? You're like,

my problems are disappearing. I had all this clutter and now it's gone. The only bad thing is this pollution smoke. Who cares about polluting space at that distance? But don't solar flares and stuff affect Earth? What about like a big solar rubbish fire? Minimal. That's what I reckon we need to start doing, looking at sending rubbish

because if it gets close enough, you just be able to like, you know when you're going downhill in a car and you put it in neutral and you just coast? Well, gravity will do that. Get it close enough

and the sun will just pull the rocket the rest of the way. Brilliant. Look, I'm not saying... I'm not saying... We've saved global warming. Exactly.

Again, this morning, I'm not saying I need a medal but I won't turn down a knighthood for that great idea. So today's fact of the day is your entire lifetime electricity usage, if it was by nuclear energy, would produce long-term waste that fits in a soda can. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. I want to talk about when you've had fights with your family over money

because Rihanna is suing her dad, Ronald Fenty. Ron. Ron has done a dodgy. So she is suing Ronald Fenty, her dad, for unauthorized use of Fenty, the trademarked name. And while you might say, okay, well, his last name was Fenty, her dad, for unauthorized use of Fenty, the trademarked name. And while you might say, okay, well, his last name was Fenty before hers was, listen to what he did. So he's got a business partner. Rihanna sees her father and a business partner falsely advertise themselves as her reps to solicit millions of dollars. They tried to book her for 15 shows in Latin America

in December 2017 for $15 million, and she had no knowledge. No authorization, no knowledge. This is her dad. Whoopsies, Ron. So it's not... What do you call it? Well, it's fraud because they never had her on board.

But it's like defamation, but it's not really because they're not slandering her name, but it's damaging her brand. Yeah. Right? If all these people are paying money and then she's not there and they're angry. And millions of dollars. Yeah.

So, yeah. It's good to say she's not hanging out with him at Christmas. Does she not like, do they not get on? Did they get on before this or ever? I think they used to get on, but they've obviously been estranged since at least 2017. So at least a couple of years now, because Ron's been dodgy. Ron A. Didn't her accountant rip her off as well?

Yeah. Remember way back? That was where she wrote us on. Bitch, bitch, better have my money. Yeah. Yeah. That's what that was about. That's how you date your accountant.

Ring, ring, hello. Bitch, better have my money. And the music video when it's pretty ruthless. Yeah. Put someone in the boot of the car. The baseball bats in the boot of the car, yeah. Yeah. So I'd love to chat about your family.

I mean, do we sue people in New Zealand? Not really. You can take them to court. No, but imagine taking one of your family members to small claims court. And 100% it would happen. Money splits up families all the time. Do you know what it is? It's when there's an inheritance.

That's when families get all like, it's fighting over money. I said to my parents, I'm like, just don't leave anything. Spend it all. Yeah. Go on a cruise. Yeah.

Why would you say that? I'm like, take it easy, mum. Do you need that hand I'm like Take it easy mum Do you need that handbag? Save it for me Mum always We were always brought up You know money's not gonna make you happy Money's not gonna make you happy

Which is good Because there wasn't any Money's not gonna make you happy And then mum would be like Look There's a smile on my face Don't have any money Thanks mum I feel great Yeah I would I hate That's a smile on my face. Don't have any money.

Thanks, Mum. I feel great. Yeah, I would. But then I'm not talking like millions and millions of dollars. Maybe that would change it all. But I don't know. Imagine if your parents won Lotto and, you know, carked it. And then all of a sudden there's like a fight over a will and all the money. Yeah, with your brothers and sisters.

But then what if I was cut out of it? Yeah, like imagine that. Or if it wasn't split evenly or they said they wanted money. Yeah, with your brothers and sisters. But then what if I was cut out of it? Yeah, like imagine that. Or if it wasn't split evenly or they said they wanted more. Yeah, true. Well, I just, yeah, I can't understand why people wouldn't split it evenly. But then maybe if somebody's done more. Yeah. Like if someone removed themselves from the family but then comes back in when it's time for some chingos.

Oh, it gets sketchy. So what? So you want to hear from people that have had fights with family over money? Yeah, money fights with your family. What happened? We have that money fight. I watched my parents do it with my grandparents and now I do it with my parents.

When we go out for dinner on Who's, you sit down, it's your birthday, we're paying. You know, did you ever have that? Oh no, I just let them pay. Oh really? You don't even put up a pretend fight. So you get your card out and you're like, oh, oh, don't, oh, okay.

You guys aren't even, oh, this is your bad piece. No, mums always pay, right? Mum and dad always pay. It's what they do. They're like older now and like that. No, they love it. They love it. They've got a house.

I know. They've got the house and stuff. They're all right. Yeah. All right. So 0800DAR stuff. They're all right. Yeah. All right. So 0800 dials at EMU. You can text 9696. Talking about your fights with family over money,

Rihanna is suing her dad because he tried to put on some fake concerts without her a couple of years ago. Without her. Without her knowing. And so she's estranged from him. Would there be anything that families fought over more than money? Probably not. No.

No. That'd be it, eh? I wouldn't imagine, you know, like numbers for you. Hear about people fighting because like the brother slept

with the other brother's girlfriend or the brother slept with the sister's boyfriend. I've heard that a couple of times too. That kind of thing. But your money would be

the main thing. Yeah, sure it would be. Some text messages in. My dad never paid tax. Ever. And he used my name to register a business. What? I'm now paying for it. This obviously

caused quite a large fallout in our family. I just cannot believe someone would do that. To their kids. If you're going to be fraudulent, use a stranger. Or a dead person. Or a dead person. No, but seriously, how if you're going to be fraudulent, use a stranger or something. Or a dead person. Or a dead person. They're 2019. No, but seriously, how could you do that to your own son?

I know. That's crazy. Somebody said, my devil witch of a stepmother gave half of my dad's house to her idiot offspring. This is all very kind words. As you can see, there was a lot of love in this family. Then after all this, the daughter, because this was when

the dad was still alive. Yeah. So she signed it over to the daughter and then she fleeced the old man out of $250,000. Oh my God.

So obviously that caused quite a fallout. that fight I had with my brother over money because he used my Blockbuster video card, Blockbuster New Plumber? And ticked up some fees.

And ticked up a late fee? How much was the fee? Oh, I forget. I think it was like a new release for a couple of days late. And they were asking me to pay it and then take me to Baycorp. I had the bloody roof. Joke's on Blockbuster, though. Yeah, you're still here.

Where's Blockbuster? Appearing in the Captain Marvel trailer as a bit of a, remember Blockbuster? Yeah. Renee, what happened? Hi. So my dad passed away about three years ago, and he had some money tied up in Auckland, sold his house.

My auntie ended up hating us because she'd sent an email through to the lawyer saying my father promised her over $100,000 or whatever when he was sick. Right. So was that in the will, though? No. No. And Hattie? No.

She just made that number up. Yeah. No. That's so bad that she'd do that. It was. She died not long ago, unfortunately. But we were all at loggerheads by the time that happened. And it just turned into hate.

Everyone hated each other. Wow. It's so sad over money. I know. And I was just like, how about we respect the person who's passed? But no. Yeah. Also, would you give your auntie, would aunties normally

be in a will? Probably not, hey? No, because it would be his sister, right? And you'd give it to your kids first. Yeah, it was his half-sister. Yeah, you'd give it to your kids. It's weird entitlement where people think, oh, I'm just going to say that he said that. Oh, absolutely. Oh, actually, my Nana died recently and my uncle, who's a criminal,

like, tried to kill my dad, all sorts of stuff, he walked up to her funeral on like a prison leave. And now he wants her house, even though it was in the will for us. A prison leave? Is that like you have on a kid when they're four and they run away at the mall? Leave. Not a leave. It's a massive leave.

And he's like, I can't go too far because it's like when the dog runs and they retract the cable. Renee, your family, that sounds complicated, doesn't it? My family's a bit nutters, to be fair. Like a drama, make a great TV drama. Well, hey, here's for far less complications in the next generation. Thank you. Yes, my kids will come out a bit better. Thanks, Renee. See you next time.