ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Megan Podcast - January 20 2020

Episode Date: January 19, 2020

Fletch has restocked his plant collection for 2020, your parents latest complaint and have you never left your home town?See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

ZM. Head music. Lusia. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. Thanks, Lauren. Good morning. Welcome to the show. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. Vaughan's just bringing in the coffee. The morning coffee. The old go juice. The old go juice. Notice you've got the CEO's cup, his face on it. I just grabbed the cleanest looking cup. That's the only criteria I go for when I open the drawer. You've always got to give the cup a look because you don't trust the dishwasher here.

And then I put it under the boiling zip. Yep, the rinse. I put it under the zip and I just let that flow through that for a good 10 seconds. Try to kill any bacteria that any gross people that work in this building might have. And then I begin the process of mixing. Making the coffee. Two teaspoons of coffee, half a teaspoon of honey.

And you start with the lukewarm water just so you don't burn the instant coffee because that's right. I'm a connoisseur. And then add the boiling water. Add the boiling water to the instant coffee because that's right i'm a connoisseur and then add the boiling water add the boiling water to the top of the cup yeah right always overfill the cup every day i said shouldn't put this much in and there i go i don't want a tired out coffee do i and that's thrilling a review and that's how born smith is coffee if you've ever wondered yeah

yeah yeah good stuff if you've ever wondered. Yeah. Yeah. Yep. Good stuff. You went to the basketball last night. I did. I went to the Breakers. The Breakers basketball. Yeah, and they gave you your own singlets. Yeah. That was pretty cool. Yeah, very cool.

Yeah. And did we win? They won? They won, and they got over 90 points, which means your ticket entitles you to a Whopper Junior. Is that a thing? What? I don't know how long it lasts for, though, because we didn you to a Whopper Junior. Is that a thing? What? I don't know how long it lasts for though, because we didn't get a Whopper Junior after. I hope I haven't

missed my opportunity, or my Whopper-tunity. To redeem that for a Whopper Junior. I'm imagining this ticket was also free. Correct, yes. And that would be totally like you to cash in a ticket that you didn't pay for to get something free. You know it was. And that would be totally like you to cash in a ticket

that you didn't pay for to get something free. 401 for junior. You know it. Times are tough. Yeah, they are. They are. Oh, my God. But no, my friend Rah, who works for Meadow Fresh,

their other sponsor, I'm like, well, what do you do? Like, what do you do for the 90 points? He's like, nothing. I was like, should I have like a free blue top? Yeah. Two lit like, nothing. I was like, should have like a free blue top. Yeah. Two litre of milk. Imagine a truck parked outside

ready to give out a two litre. They didn't make 90 boys. He drives away. Get out of here. Get out of here. All right, you lot. Listen up.

It's story time. Story time. Three news headlines. Spawner Megan must deliberate and pick only one of the three headlines and then we'll delve into that. Headline one, Tory gets a vacation.

Headline two, warnings after DIY teeth straightening. And headline three, man brings new meaning to laundering money. Those are your three headlines. DIY teeth straightening. I know, I want to know that one. I don't know if people can handle that at this time of the morning. I'm imagining somebody's giving their teeth a knock. What was the third one?

Man brings new meaning to laundering money. Okay. New meaning. New meaning, yeah. So not an existing meaning. Not like washing. Oh. So like washing it so you don't have to do tax.

How do they explain laundering? No, it's where you hide money that you have earned so you don't have to pay. No, no, no. It's introducing illegal money into the tax system. Yeah. So it's like you got it through drugs, but you can't say that. Because you can't just suddenly put $100,000 in your bank and be like, oh, where did that come from? That would certainly set off alarms.

That would trigger some alarms. So you need to prove where it came from. So you start a business that's mostly cash. In the case of Breaking Bad, it was a car wash. It was, yeah. And introduce it that way. Right. Bit by bit. Breaking Bad is just basically my knowledge of all things was, yeah. And introduced it that way. Right. Bit by bit.

Breaking Bad's just basically my knowledge of all things criminal. Most criminal. Yeah, most criminal. Organisations. Okay, well, do you want Tory gets a vacation or man brings new meaning to laundering money? Or the teeth straightening? Tory gets vacation?

Yeah. Is that as in like what British people call right-wingers? No, it's a woman called Tori. Oh. Yeah. Like Tori Spelling. Yeah. Yeah.

What one do you want? I think the laundering. Laundering money? Yeah. Yeah. You want that one? All right. Okay.

We go to Oregon now where a man in Oregon claimed $8 million in the lottery. But that wasn't before he accidentally washed his wallet with a Megabucks ticket in it. So that Megabucks ticket was the winning $8.4 million ticket. It survived, even though two less valuable tickets didn't. So I don't know if those tickets were either side of... Because you know the lotto tickets, they're like a waxy weird paper. Do you think they would

survive the wash? No. Do they not? No, they don't. Have you washed one? Yeah, one's been through the wash. It's the same stuff that if you leave in the car and it gets too hot, it just goes black. The whole thing blacks out. Yeah, right. Because you know that $17 million ticket that's, whereabouts is that waiting in New Zealand?

Is it Tekapo? Yeah, I know there's one that's unplanned. One's floating about. Like, I have a theory that somebody left it on their dashboard in the height of summer. Imagine that. And it just killed it. And they don't even know that they've won. Do you think you should take a photo of all your tickets?

Would they accept a photo with your barcode so you could prove that that was your ticket? If you had a photo of a barcode, though, would it scan? It needs to be able to scan, right? Yeah, no, it can. A photo of a barcode can scan. Because when you're at Mitre 10 and you're buying some nuts and bolts, because they can't have a barcode on them, right?

You take a photo of the little bucket thing you get it out of, and then when you get it out, I'm like, oh, I took a photo of what it was, and I can scan it on your phone. Yeah, but I don't think Lotto has those pointy scanners. It has to go through the thing. No, you can do it on the app. And you can punch it in. Oh, yeah.

Do it on the app. But I'm not saying that that would be acceptable. Yeah. You'd have to ask them, I guess. Because I got a receipt the other day and the lady said, if I was you, I'd go home and photocopy this because we've had people come in who want to claim something under warranty

but our receipts don't last very long. And we won't. I was like, you're savage. And she's like, that's why I'm telling you to photocopy it. Yeah, right. Not a bad idea. Well, he actually had to piece together a lot of the tickets after it went through the wash. It was about midnight.

He said he didn't sleep when he found out he had the $8.4 million ticket. You wouldn't. He was attacked. Again, and like he says, protected by the other tickets. Good lord. What are the chances, eh? Can you? Oh, man, I'd never forgive myself if you bought that through the wash.

And he took the bulk sum option, which splits the price into half after taxes, took home 2.85. It's weird in America because they can choose to get payouts. You can get it paid out over, what is it, over 30 years or something? Yeah. Like the opposite of a mortgage. A lot of the states are different, but yeah. Or you can get a lump sum, but it's less than the total.

So they give you like an allowance of your money. Imagine getting a sweet allowance, like knowing throughout your life you were going to earn $8.4 million. You could still live pretty sweet. Pretty sweet, yeah, it'd be all good. And surely the bank would loan you some kachingos to buy a house if they knew that you had $8.4 million coming in. Flesh, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast, ZM.

So Wellington commuters were treated. It was a Wellington train, actually. And this footage was put up on Facebook. Now, before I play you a little snippet of the audio, I'll explain what's happening. Or actually, I'll explain it in terms of how the Herald printed it. The video that they've posted has a large warning in front of it. Yeah, and her face is blurred out.

So a woman, a young woman was filmed on a Wellington train. She was in a dress and it shows her shuffling along the carriage and the crowd is cheering her on. Not like a cat or a dog with worms. She's not shuffling along like that. She's still on her feet. Oh, yeah, yeah. Kind of like dancing.

Like a waddley shuffle. The crowd is cheering her on and then, this is what the news story says, she then drops a coin into a plastic cup on the floor using a rather unusual body part to carry the money. This is what it sounded like. Wonderful Ayn. She couldn't see straight down.

Yeah, to be fair. How did she do that? It's one of those little plastic cups. Yeah. That you'd get from a water cooler. Yeah. And she walks over to it and manages to get it in the cup. With precision.

Stands over it and releases. This is some Thailand. That's pretty amazing. Thailand show stuff right there, isn's pretty amazing. That's some Thailand show stuff right there, isn't it? Yeah. Jeez.

And you'd have to imagine that if she's doing that performance in public, that she's practiced elsewhere. It's her party trick. Yeah. Oh yeah,

that's the thing. You don't just come on a train and do that first time and get it in. You've been practicing. Yeah. And that, kids, is another reason

why you should never put money in your mouth. But if I ever see anybody with a coin in their mouth, get it out. Get that coin out your mouth. You literally don't know where that's been. No. Even if you handle money at work, I'd be hand sanitising after every transaction. Yeah.

But also, that's a very that's its own little ecosystem, you know? Like, I don't think you should be putting dirty coins there. But that's, although to be fair, we don't know that she didn't sanitise the coin. We don't. Before she could have had a wet wipe. But then you shouldn't put the wet wipe up in the region either.

It's a very delicate pH balance. It in the region either. It's a very delicate pH balance. It's like a pool. It's like a swimming pool. Except it's like a swimming pool that looks after itself. Does that guy that comes around to check

Vaughan's pH come around to check yours too? Just randomly opens the back gate puts a little stick in shakes the and then goes oh no

she's going to need some she's going to need some magnesium. ZM's Fletch Vaughughan and Megan, the podcast. TikTok, the online video posting site. How do you explain it? How do you explain it to her? Because my mum said my niece was on TikTok and she was like, what is TikTok? I was like, um.

You know, it's the video. It's little videos. It's like little videos and people are going to watch them. Okay, do you want this is how it's described. It's a video sharing social networking service owned by ByteDance. It's a video sharing social network. Yeah, right. But that doesn't sound.

It doesn't quite sum it up enough. And it also doesn't explain it enough to your mum. No, yeah. She would need more information. So the latest, and it's getting a whole lot of, you put a video up of you doing something and hashtag it a challenge of some sort and that would then inspire others to do that.

Yeah. And the latest one is eating cereal out of your friend's mouth. Like your friend is a bowl. Like they lie on their back. Mouth agape. This is an absolute sitter for content for some radio shows. Oh, I guarantee this is happening on a radio station.

I'd be willing to put a Christmas cake shepherd on the fact that that's a tenner. That a radio station right now is booking in the video department to come and film them eating cereal out of each other's mouths. Mark our words. So do you still use a spoon?

Yeah, you use a spoon. You'd have to use, for some friends, you'd probably have to use a teaspoon. You couldn't get a big soup spoon. Could you get a big spoon in my mouth? Yeah. No.

I reckon you could. I think a teaspoon would be nicer. A teaspoon would be far friendlier. So what you... You don't have to hide your teeth, Megan. So you'd put Fruit Loops... Why'd you do that? You'll be able to open it wider.

Don't worry about the teeth. I'm not. Why do your teeth go up when you open them? Why do your teeth automatically retract when you open your mouth? Why do your teeth show? Your teeth aren't visible either. Why are you... Oh, his are.

You've got big teeth, don't I? Oh my God, my teeth go in behind my mouth when I open them. Why did I know that? So for example, Froot Loops, you would lie down, Vaughan. I would put Froot Loops into your mouth, milk, and then I would put a spoon... And then I've got to not go... Because you think about when you've got a mouthful of water or anything.

You just put your tongue back. It gets to the point where you might... And then that's where the hilarity ensues. You do that when your friend's close to eating out of your mouth. You spit the cereal in their face. No offence, but I wouldn't eat out of either of your mouths.

I wouldn't eat out of anyone of your mouths. No, I would... It's not anyone on the show. I wouldn't eat out of anyone's mouth. That's so grim. And then the milk would go like lukewarm because it's been warmed in your mouth. Yeah, no. Yeah, I wouldn't even eat out of my lovely wife's mouth.

If you had to... Yeah....eat out of someone's mouth, mouth. If you had to eat out of someone's mouth, would it be Fletch or me? Oh. I feel like I already know the answer. Is quitting an option? I'll go without a job. I don't enjoy that much.

You've got to choose one. But look, this guy's got his dog. Oh, no. I'm sorry. That's disgusting. It's a big dribb's got his dog. Oh, no. I'm sorry. That's disgusting. It's a big dribbly looking mastiff. It's yumming up the cereal straight out of his mouth. It's like he's getting frenched by a dog.

That's disgusting. That's gross. But you still haven't answered the question. I'm not going to. I mean, you can pretty much guess where my mouth's been. So, like, I don't know about this guy over here. You really... What?

Ouch! I literally mouthwashed this morning. Mine would be the best mouth. What percentage of germs does that kill? 99.9999. Right. Says on the bottle. Yeah, but it's that 0.1%.

Like, that's got to be one nasty ass germ if it can survive the mouthwash and it's already in your mouth. But I was in mouthwash last night and this morning. So it's all taken care of. There's an overlap. It gets that 0.1%. I don't know if it does. It does.

Or is that 0.1%? Is that the one that they can never get? Yeah. Right. It just lingers there waiting for its moment. The unstoppable bacteria. It's a supervile. Yeah, okay, great.

Fletchvorna Megan, the podcast. ZM. They like to call millennial snowflakes boomers, don't they? While there's a study that has been done. Is it because they melt easy? Melt easy or something. And they're all different. Because, you know, snowflakes, no snowflake looks the same.

I mean, that's beautiful and poetic, but I don't think that's why they call us that. It's the fragileness, though, you're right. Is that it? Yeah, the fragileness. Yeah. And we can't handle anything. Yeah.

Comments, work, life. It's not the right word. Well, it says here, it's a derogatory slang for a person implying that they have an inflated sense of uniqueness, an unwarranted sense of entitlement,

an overly emotional, easily offended, and unable to deal with opposing opinions. How? Well, you basically just described boomers as well. Yeah. Well, there's been a study that's done, and it's looked into sensitivity throughout the ages.

Right. They've actually found that boomers, baby boomers, that generation are more sensitive than millennials. Now, they see that narcissism is growing as time goes by, as the generations go by. And that

means that comes with narcissism comes less sensitivity. So, someone who is narcissistic has an inflated sense of self-importance, a sense of entitlement. They are arrogant. They have an unwillingness to recognize the needs and feelings of others.

So that is millennials. And they say it's getting worse as the generations go by. So the older generations are less narcissistic and therefore more sensitive. Because we're just so selfish, we don't really care about anyone else. And that translates to sensitivity. Yeah. The more narcissistic you are, the less sensitive you are. Right.

I know my fair share of older narcissistic people though. I wouldn't say it's a rarity amongst old people. No. Plus we had to learn it from somewhere, didn't we? And like when they say an inflated sense of self-importance, I can say a lot of older people have that too. Mm. Mm. We're not doing a very good job of debating this though.

But I just think there's examples of that in every generation. Yeah. And media seems to get a real kick and some good clicks out of the comment section when they put a story like this up because everybody just weighs in full hob, don't they? Yeah. Looking to destroy everybody. Those are that media, right?

Sons of bitches. Like, stop talking about boomers versus millennials. The printed version, the spoken version, the visual version. Oh, the printed and the visual is worse than spoken. I actually think the spoken is actually probably the nicest. Look, they didn't give us so many bloody things to fill in one show. We wouldn't have to talk about this stuff. She's got a great point.

Give us less breaks today. She's got a great point. Raise a good point, Megan. That sounds very millennial of you to be lazy. Yeah. And with less breaks, it means we need less people. So see you later. Oh, Fletch, it's been good.

Oh, were you retiring first, eh? I know I'm not. No, I have to push the buttons. I'm all for more talking. I think we should ban music. That's where the millennials get all their bad attitudes from. From the ZM Think Tank, this is a sort of a vegan Kentucky starting. Okay. This is, it's a eight day tour of Europe. And it's not, I say Kentucky, but I realise that's a brand of Kentucky.

This is a tour being organised in the style of Kentucky. Right. So it's not actually Kentucky? No. Oh, okay. No. Why did they say that? Why didn't they say European tour? All these headlines. Misleading. Because you say Kentucky and then everyone knows what it means.

Wasn't the Kentucky guy, I read the story about this Kentucky guy and he was, when it was first starting out, got the bus. Business was pretty slow. And then he just wrote in the window, only two seats left. Be quick.

When there wasn't, there was heaps of seats left. And they sold super quick. It's like when you go to those booking.com websites and they're like, oh my God, 800,000 people are watching this same room right now. Oh no. You better book it. One's hovering over book.

And then you panic into booking it. Yeah. So today's Top 6, the Top 6 stops on the Vegan Contiki Tour throughout Europe. Number 6 on the list, the toilet on the bus. Because apparently vegans poop more often than the omnivorous amongst us. Well, yeah, because it's very... More fibre. It gets through there.

So congratulations on that. And also, your poo can be used as fertiliser because there's no meat in it. Yeah, it can. So they'll pop those on the roses in the Queen Mary's Rose Gardens in Regent Park at the end of the tour. They'll just pull the bus up and empty it right on there. Nice. Number five on the list of the top six stops

on the Vegan Contiki Tour, Amsterdam. Because last time I checked, marijuana and mushrooms were both vegan. So that's good. Very true, yeah. Avoid the sex clubs. You won't see any meat whatsoever. Number four on the list of the top six stops for the Vegan Contiki Tour, the hostel. You'll be knackered from all that sitting.

So you'll need to lie down. A little lightheaded, I'm feeling you. I, in person, I'm just going to pop out for a sneaky German sauce. But you guys catch a bit of shadow. Number three on the list of the top six stops on the Vegan Contiki Tour. Italy. Yeah. Where you'll be able to order a pizza.

And when the orders are all being placed, you'll annoyingly have to say, Can we get a vegan one? And everyone who doesn't want to waste a pizza on a vegan option will go, I can just order separately. I'll do a cheese. At the very least, having a vegan. Even a vegetarian when you're doing a pizza order. Say you're ordering five pizzas.

What about a margarita? That's delish. They want one of the pizzas to be a vegetarian option Yeah You're like, we're only getting five 20% of pizzas You don't need meat on every single pizza You do No you don't

That's a fact You need cheese on every single pizza That's very true Number four need cheese. You need cheese on every single pizza. That's very true. Yeah. That's very true. Number four on the list of the top six stops for the Vegan Contiki Tour, you'll go to the Eiffel Tower, but not the Eiffel Tower we all know. You'll go to the Eiffel Tower that has an iron deficiency, just like you.

It's floppy. Look, I'm just joking around. But while you are in Paris, no, I'm only kidding around. I'm only kidding around. But while you are, you won't go and see, there is no Eiffel Tower that was built without iron.

That was me being silly. But while you are in Paris, you'll go to the Louvre and see the Mona Lisa and realise she's vegan too. Look how pale and anemic she looks. Quick, usher on by quickly. Again, it's just jokes.

Why, you can't take a joke? Look, I'm the one that's going to end up with colon cancer. Aye. So. This is true. We'll be fine. And the number one stop on today's top six stops on the Vegan Kentucky Tour, Brocktoberfest. It's like beer, except it's broccoli.

It's horrible sounding. You, but knock yourself out. No cheese sauce. Yeah. Oh. Just steamed. See, I love some steamed broccoli, but not a whole festival. No.

I like a grilled broccoli over a steamed. Oh, yeah. Okay. Yep. That's good broccoli. But I've got to have like garlic. Yeah. Butter.

All that. That's good stuff. Actually, broccoli is really good. Broccoli is delicious. I wouldn't want to live on it. Yeah. You know? You know what goes well with broccoli? That's good stuff Actually broccoli's really good Broccoli's delicious I wouldn't want to live on it Yeah You know You know what goes well with broccoli?

Meat Yeah Famously Again, just jokes Just jokes Just jokes But if you did want to complain Vaughan at ZMOnline.com

Good luck spelling that ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan The podcast There was an article yesterday about Aucklanders who have never left Auckland City. Selena was named as one of them. She said she'd been as far south as Papakura and as far north as Glenfield.

What? I know, she's been in Glenfield. She hasn't even... She hasn't even been to my cafe. No. Well, that would probably be an OE for her. She had to go over Constellation Drive. Not today.

Not today. I mean, going over the Harbour Bridge is probably enough. But for people not from Auckland or, like, Gleanfield's, what, halfway through the North Shore. You've still got, like, there's a lot. If you were downtown Auckland, it would take you, what, 15 minutes to get to Gleanfield. No traffic.

No traffic. There's still a lot of Auckland further north. And only south as, that's madness. Yeah. And 51. Yes. She's 51. Yeah.

And has she lived in Auckland her whole life? Yes. Must have, okay. That means she hasn't been to all the malls. Like, that's crazy to me. She hasn't been to all the malls. Definitely hasn't been to the Albany Mall. No.

Come on. That's the only mall she won't have been to. There's no malls further south. No, yeah. Like Papakura, right? But she's never been to Pocono for an ice cream. No. She's never, she's, wow, do you reckon she's been to,

she stopped at the Autobahn and drew it? Maybe. What about, like like all these beautiful like beaches and things she sees in New Zealand, like no desire to go to Coromandel? Ages ago, we talked about people not seeing snow.

And I said, I bet there's people who have never been to a beach. And there had been. And there were people that live in cities, but they just never, nothing ever takes them to the beach. But how can you not want to travel? I don't understand it. You don't understand it because I will travel every moment I can. Yeah.

Travelling's your thing. And I mean, I know I'm fortunate enough to be able to do that, and some people aren't, but if you live, you don't have to go in a plane. You can go in a car. Travel your own backyard, yeah. You can go on a bus. You know, you can see the country. Yeah. Well, that's why I see Coromandel in that

because it's driving distance. Like, beautiful part of the country within driving distance of her. But then there would be people that in the South Island haven't been to the North Island and vice versa. And vice versa. Like, I reckon there'd be people that have gone over to the Gold Coast, but probably haven't even been to Auckland, for example, from the South

Island before. Well, my n example, from the South Island. Before, my nana never left the North Island. The first time she said she'd left the North Island was my wedding on Waiheke. And that was... What? Well, no, because there was a body of water in between. But she'd never been on a plane. No, God. No, no,

no, no, no. It was her fear of flying that kept her... But how does she know she had a fear? She hadn't done it. Well, she's seen them. She never, there was nothing in the South Island. And the beautiful main name that she took her fancy. I'm sure she would have loved to have gone, but no. She never took the inter-Islander? No, no, no.

What? I don't think the ocean was to be trusted either. Oh, my God. She's very land-based. It's crazy. Yeah. But yeah, your parents travelled. Love travelling.

And she was like, she's never like, I want to do some. Nope. That's mad. Some people just don't have the burning desire to be out of their comfort zone. I don't know how you can. Very comfy though. Yeah, like you say. The homebodies and they just aren't interested.

There'd be old mates that probably around New Zealand, there'd be old mates that were born on the farm that they still live on and have no interest in going any further than the shop to get their ute fixed. Let's go to the social media centre. Oh, really? And our very own producer's booth. Mountie. Hello.

You have never been where? To the South Island. Mountie? I've been overseas. I've been to Vietnam, all the islands, Australia a bunch of times. But you've never been To the South Island. Mountie? I've been overseas. I've been to Vietnam or the islands, Australia a bunch of times. What about my hometown of Nelson? No, never Nelson. Beautiful, Abel Tasman.

Abel Tasman would blow your mind. Golden Bay. We have gold sand beaches. That does sound nice. So why have you just never? Nelson's just pretty much Vietnam of the South Island. Skip that. Although I did look at Waitangi weekend flights to Nelson

and it was cheaper to go to Sydney. Exactly. That's my point. Yeah. What about Queenstown? Queenstown's got to be on the list, right? I do want to go. That's the thing.

I do. Right. I just haven't gotten around to it. Right. Okay. Well, when we go on a big lavish trip to Christchurch next, we'll take you with us. Yeah, when we don our glad rags for a work trip to Christchurch.

You might even get your own room in the motel. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Hey, hey, hey. I mean, no promises. Yeah, I was going to say, I'll hold you to that. Yeah, don't. Because it might not come through. Wow, that's it.

Okay, wow, that's interesting. All right. I think we've got to take some calls on this told you to that. Yeah, don't. Because it might not come through. Wow, that's it. Okay, wow, that's interesting. All right. I think we've got to take some calls on this because this just blows my mind. Yeah. That like, yeah, you could never have gone to, you could live in New Zealand.

Or people you know that have a strayed farm from home. Yeah, like you might be a traveller, but you might know someone that's never, I mean, I don't know if we're going to beat this woman that's never been out of Auckland in her 51 years.

That's crazy to me. Or even all over Auckland. Okay, so let's take some calls right now. 0800 dial ZM. Give us a call or you can text as well,

9696. Who do you know that hasn't strayed far from home? Yeah, maybe it's you. We're talking about people who don't wander too far from home. There was a story

about multiple people but one woman in particular who had never left Auckland. Yeah, 51 had never been north of Glenfield or further south than Papakura. Which isn't far. No. That blows my mind.

Do you think she would have even been to like Piha or the beaches? No. I don't know. Piha would be worth a separate mention surely. I even been to like Piha or the beaches? No. I don't know. Piha would be worth a separate mention, surely. I've been to Glenfield and far south is Papakura and once I went to Piha. It's mad. It's quite a way out there. I don't get it.

No, neither. Because I just want to tick off as much of the world as I can. Yeah. You're very adventurous. You have the means and then you don't have anything to look after at home. Megan, I've got a lot of plants now. We need to talk about my new plants soon on the show. Part from your plants.

But I've got some responsibilities. Sure. Cameron, you've never been as far as where? I've never been further than Taupo Bar, Wellington once in 2011. Okay, but you've never been off the Northupo Bar Wellington once in 2011. Okay, but you've never been off the North Island?

No. Okay. How old are you, though? 25 next month. Okay. And do you want to go anywhere, or are you just happy with the North Island? I'd love to travel New Zealand before I go overseas, but one place I want to go is Japan. Okay.

Okay. So you do have aspirations. Yeah, so it's there. The itch is there. Yeah, most definitely. But you don't want to scratch down south? Oh, no. Down south first. Right, before Japan. Alright, good luck. Good, Cameron.

Thanks for your call. Amber Lee, you live in Raglan. Yes, I do. Right, so what's the furthest you've been? I've never been overseas. Okay. Okay. So what's the furthest? Have you been to the South Island?

No. Have you been to Wellington? Once, I think. Yeah, once. Obviously a memorable time in Wellington. Okay. Have you been on a plane before? My first time was last year and that was terrifying enough.

Where did you fly to? Palmerston North. I went to go visit my mum and dad. That is terrifying actually. Wow, okay. And was that pretty mind blowing? And you wouldn't do a plane again then? I'd love to visit Australia. was that pretty mind-blowing and you wouldn't do a plane again then? I'd love to visit Australia. Right. Yeah.

That's a bigger plane. That's a really big plane that one, Amber. Yeah. Yeah. Okay, alright. Well, aspirations are there. Yeah. So good luck with that.

Some text messages coming in. When I worked in Western Australia I worked with four Aucklanders who had never been to the South Island but they were in Western Australia. But they were in Western Australia. I worked with four Aucklanders who had never been to the South Island. But they were in Western Australia. But they were in Western Australia, yeah.

Guys. So many people are messaging in that they've been all around the world but never been to the South Island. You're missing out. It's where I'm from. It's beautiful. There's lots to see. Have you been to, like, Fiordland?

No, but that's like, you have to go tramping. What do you overhear preaching the South Island? You don't need to tramp. No, you go on a tour or a boat or a plane. Oh, is that, what's that special place that everyone says is beautiful? Milford Sound. Yes, I want to go to Milford Sound, but I haven't done that. Excuse me, I've been all over the South Island,

but I haven't been to Fiordland. Well, no, you were just over there preaching the South Island and you haven't even been to it. I can preach the rest of it. If you're going to be a South Island ambassador, Marge, you've done all of it, please. You did. This isn't hashtag spawn.

I was just like saying. Well, you could hashtag a holiday. My home island is delightful. You could take Mr Toyboy around and hashtag it all. Oh, yeah. And do an Instagram. They're great. They're great watching.

Somebody said that every time they've looked at going to the South Island, it costs less to fly somewhere international. I know. That's the problem at Canberra. You can get special. Get yourself a little special. Get yourself a little special. I lived in Invercargill my whole life.

I have only been to the North Island once. I've never left the country. I'm going to break that in about two months. I'm getting on the big plane. On the big plane in about two months. I'm getting on the big plane. On the big plane, good. Yes, good. Got to get on the big plane. Ten years ago, I was working in New Plymouth

with a guy who had never left the Taranaki region. He was in his late 40s, early 50s, and he said he had absolutely no plan. Why would he want to leave? But he loves it. Why would you? But not even like a weekend in Auckland or Wellington or... I wouldn't want to spend

a weekend in Auckland. What are you talking about? Far better places to go. I know, but anywhere you could go anywhere, he hasn't left Taranaki. My aunt was 98 years old and she never left the city of Pittsburgh in America. She never left the city in her 98 years. Wow. Oh no.

Just like real comfy with her own backyard. That's fine. Yeah. Somebody said don't tell Aucklanders about the South Island. It's a domestic tourist secret. Yeah, but that's the thing about tourist spots is they need tourists to function.

They do. Fleshforn and Megan, they do. They do. Over the weekend, there's more developments with Megxit. Harry and Megan, and who better to ask about it than TVNZ European correspondent Daniel Faitoa. Good morning. Good morning, guys. Good morning. So what's the latest over the weekend?

Well, the latest, of course, is Queen Elizabeth. She's come out with a statement and she's made her decision that the royals will have a clean break. And what that means is if you go back to what Meghan and Harry wanted, they still wanted to be part of the royals. So a bit of a half in, half out. But go to Canada, live in Canada, live a private life away from the British tabloids, away from any international media, but also perform some royal duties when called upon. Well, the Queen announced last

night they don't want to call on them anymore. It's see you later, goodnight, we don't need you anymore as part of the royal family. So their royal duties have now been stripped of them. They also have to pay back the money that they spent on their house, which was about $5 million New Zealand dollars that has to be paid back, and they'll no longer receive any more public funds.

They've been stripped of their titles too, right? They don't get the HRH anymore. No, and I think a lot of our listeners could be confused on that because they still get to be called Harry the Duchess of Sussex, Meghan the Duchess of Sussex, Harry, sorry, the Duke of Sussex, but they're no longer going to be called Her Royal Highness or His Royal Highness.

And full-time members of royal families are given that title. And so anything to do with royal now has to be taken away from them. And that includes now the British media are now looking at Meghan and Harry's website because it uses the word royal in it, Sussex Royal.

And there's questions around whether they're allowed to use that anymore. Do you think, because there's been a lot of tabloid sort of hype up on the whole situation and how angry she is. But do you feel like that's the case or some of those hyped up headlines are just to sell newspapers?

I think a bit of both. From what we're understanding now, we're getting reports that the negotiations were amicable. So they were quite friendly. There was none of this, you know, you're going to get this, you give us this. But the whole issue, of course, was whether they could do half and half. And the Queen decided, no, they can't. They can't have a private life and expect to still have the royal perks alongside of it. And I think the media here have really focused on that. For the fact that they are royals, the public invest a lot of their taxpayers' money,

so therefore they need to be held accountable. And so they cannot have both worlds. And I think many here believe that Harry will struggle with that. Harry will struggle being a commoner in Canada. I mean, he's still going to get some funds from Daddy's wallet. So Prince Charles will still give him money from the royal account. Sweet. How is that allowed, though?

Because Prince Charles gets money from the public and then he's handing it over. So it's still... Well, there's a special account that apparently has nothing to do with taxpayers. This is their own royal family money and it has to do with all your titles, their investments, their land.

It's all tied up in there. He'll drip feed funds to Harry. How much? No one really knows at this stage. Whether it's going to be enough for Harry and Meghan to live the lifestyle that they have led. And it has been quite extravagant, the lifestyle that they lead. Whether those funds will be enough to fund that lifestyle will be one to watch. Gosh, you might need a job on Suits back.

Suits is finished. She might need a spin-off. I know. And everyone's asking, what will they do to survive? Because if they've got no public funds and they'll only get a certain amount of funds from Dad's pocket, it still will not pay the amount of rent because they've still got to pay rent for the house here, which is about $700,000 New Zealand dollars a month.

So they need to pay that while they're living in Canada because they still want to own that house here. So what will they do? And I think Megan's already in negotiations with filmmakers so she could reprise that role. Who knows? She's also had secret talks about voiceovers. And then there's Harry. What's he going to do? I mean, all he's

done is military duties, which is what he loves, and it's the bread and butter of what he was born into. And now that's been stripped away from him. The question is, how happy will the couple be, really? Wow. Yeah. Well, thank you so much for talking to us.

It's TVNZ European correspondent Daniel Whaitoa. Thank you. Thanks, guys. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. It feels like every couple of months we talk about a male contraceptive pill or an injection or something. I remember the last time you talked about this, you said that guys should get an injection in their bolus.

Yeah. So, actually you should watch Explained on Netflix. They have a three-part series on Is that Vox? That's Vox. Those are good. Those are great. Yeah, a three-part series on sex.

And it has contraception as one of the parts. It talks about that injection. So the injection would just go up there. It's like a gel that stays in the tube. And when your little pals go through that gel, it just neutralizes them. And then you can get another injection. Yeah, I'm trying to make this as friendly as possible.

Then you can get another injection that just dissolves that gel. Right, when you want to have babies. That was the injection. But this is a gel. Now, this has already been tested by a few couples in the UK. One couple in particular have been using it since May last year. Now, this gel feels like hand sanitizer, apparently.

You rub it on your shoulder. I don't know why. I don't know why it's the shoulder. I've read this whole story. I can't find why it's the shoulder. You need to rub it on the shoulder and it does sound like something you need to continue. It's not a one-off thing. Right. So

the guy would continuously rub this gel on the shoulder and what it does is reduces the count. Okay. And now this guy, he's still on it and they've said it's been very successful even though they have forgotten to use it a couple of times but still very successful. He has been assured that when he comes off it, the count will go back up.

He's been assured. And he said, I'm not particularly worried. He's a guinea pig. He is a guinea pig at this point, but it has worked. What does this couple do if the trial doesn't work? Does the medical company pay for the raising of this kid? No, no, no, no. He won't be.

That's not how they'll be testing it. Right. He'll be running a guinea pig. He'll rub that on and then they'll just be doing the test count. They're not rolling the dice on how to rub this on. Yeah, they are. That's the whole point. But she would also be on contraception.

No, she can't take the pill because it interacts with other medication. They are literally rolling the dice. So they're literally rolling the dice. You know, like, I guess they've decided that if that happens, maybe, I don't know, they'll still have a child. I don't know. But the company's putting a little something away for the college fund. It's expensive stuff.

You have to be getting paid a lot, eh, to be part of that trial. But also, I'm just worried from, like, how, I mean, they've assured him that he'll be fine afterwards once he stops taking it. What if he gets to 50 and his shoulder dissolves? Like he wakes up one morning and his shoulder's missing. He's like, oh, I kept rubbing that stuff on it. It fell off. Yeah. They didn't have this written as a possible side effect.

Still don't have any babies, but I don't have a shoulder. Speaking of which, I'm surprised you didn't ask about the side effects, because there's little to none. Because that's been the big issue with lots of contraceptives, is that guys are like, oh, there's side effects and I want to do it. Despite the fact that women have had to put up with side effects forever. There's consequences if we

put up with side effects because there's consequences. Screaming babies. Yeah. The ultimate side effect. Yeah. I'm just Googling why it needs to be rubbed on the shoulder, but. You can't find? No.

Yeah, I'm really baffled. Maybe that's easy because you literally have it in your hand, you chuck it up on your shoulder, it's done. Yeah, but then if it was easy, you just rub it into your hands. Yeah, true. Like a hand motion. Well, I would have thought like at least rubbing it on to like like your lower stomach or yeah or a little bit closer yeah yeah but why that's so weird maybe there's a no because you're probably probably because if it was any closer you'd

start rubbing it on you'd be like i might as well just say that might as well just do this myself. What happens when you rub your stomach? You rub it a bit and then you're like, oh, I'm in the area. Yesterday, 2020's victims were purchased. I do not like your tone from the outset here. Of your Fletcher's next lot of houseplant victims. Well, you don't murder them.

You just neglect them to the point of death. Or I've still got some that are alive. Or too much. You overload them. See, that's the problem. I love them too much and I water them too much. Maybe you need to find love elsewhere. Some of that sprinkly stuff.

Megan's like, buy fake ones, but I can't do it because I know they're fake and every time I see them I'm like, I know you're not real. Imposter. Because you're not gone brown and you've been here two days. You should be dead by now. You're fake. So what did you buy? What houseplants did you buy? So yesterday I just went around to all these plant stores and I just got all the nice ones.

You went crazy. Did you read the tag and see which ones would survive? Yeah, well, they're houseplants. They were all good. And you live in a house, so vis-a-vis. I live in a house, so what can go wrong? These ones that don't like direct sun. These ones that don't like draft.

Yeah, I know. Okay. A plant that doesn't like draft irks me. It's real sensitive. Where are they from? They don I know. Okay. A plant that doesn't like draft irks me. It's real sensitive. Where are they from that they don't like a draft? What, you're a plant from the outside world? Yeah.

How did you survive? Yeah. I understand they're not the direct sunlight because they might have grown, you know, they might have come to be under the canopy of the forest. But drafts, it's draft everywhere. There's drafts everywhere. There's a light breeze with gale force. I got a fern like last year when I killed all these plants

and I put it in the bathroom because they like shade. It's too hot. No, it's not all ferns like shade. You've got to look at what fern you've got. Ferns grow on every continent apart from Antarctica. Yeah. So ferns are a big variety in ferns. Some like the heat, some. Some like the heat.

Some don't like the heat. And I just hear they like being moist. And then I water it. And then it's brown in like two days. Yeah, but there's a difference between moist and soggy. You're just like, little bit every day. Little bit more. Little bit more.

Yep. A little bit overzealous. So what I've decided to do this time, because I got a whole lot. What did you get? Name some of them. Name some of them. I don't know the names. Like leafy green ones. Leaf a whole lot. What did you get? Name some of them. Name some of them. I don't know the names. Like leafy green ones.

Leafy green ones. No, I honestly don't know the names of them. Did you get a mother of pearl? String of pearls. String of pearls. I did get one of those. We've got one of those ones. They look like peas on string.

Those are easy because the little peas tell you what they need. If they shrivel up, they need more water. If they go brown and start rotting, there's too much water. Too much water. But by then it's too late. You've killed it. Yeah. Do you get any palms?

Nah, I didn't get any palms. I tried to get a big palm, but the lady just laughed at me and said that wouldn't work inside. What kind of palm? I said, don't tell me what to do. Like a big palm. Yeah, a big one.

Oh yeah, that's an outdoor palm. You're an idiot. No, I've seen those indoors. I wish it let you because you get it in and it would start growing massively and then the pot would crack because its roots are trying to, you know, spread out and then you'd have to get a new pot. But repotting inside your apartment would be a hilarious thing to watch.

Yeah. So what I've decided to do is I'm going to keep all the little tags this time. I'm going to put a post-it note on all of them so that I get into the habit of knowing how to treat that plant. Right. Okay, that's good. Is that good? Is that a good idea?

Have you got pots that drain or have you just got pots that don't have a saucer on the bottom? Well, I don't like the pots with saucers because they don't look good. But then you can't tell how much water's in there, so you keep feeding it and it ends up sitting in a swimming pool. Because it's not draining. It might be wet at the bottom but dry at the top. So, I need that guy that comes around to work with this

air compressor trolley. Have you seen him? He blows the dust off the plants. He blows the dust off all the plants and he wipes them and he waters them. He knows what he's doing. Yeah,

because they don't like dust on their leaves. You should tell him that your apartment is just a new office for NZ Me and just to add it to his rounds.

And just to come up all the time. I'm never going to check. Because that's the other thing. Some of my plants are a bit dusty because I did reno, like sanding. Oh, yeah. You've got to wipe the dust off them.

Why? Well, that's where they get their filter, they get their light in through their leaves and stuff. But look, if you were dusty the whole time. Oh, right. So it would be like having a dusty face the whole time. Yeah, just how yuck is it? Okay, yeah.

But then, so what do I, I'll just wipe them all. Yeah, but be careful having a dusty face the whole time. Yeah. Just how yuck is it? Okay, yeah. But then, so what do I, but I'll just wipe them all. Yeah, but be careful what's on the cloth. Fragile. Brand new cloth, only water. Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because when it, our ones, when it rains, I just put them outside and wash it off. Do you have fake ones?

There's, there's. Because I was at your house yesterday and I was like, I'm pretty sure some of these are fake. You know the ones beside the door? Yeah, I thought they were fake. They've been fake for years. They were at our last house too. But you can't tell. You have to look at them a while and you're like...

And then so when you weren't looking, I went up and squeezed one of them and it was plastic. So I was like, okay, good. But if it had been real, I would have actually popped it. That happens. Yeah. All right. Well, the 20th of January. Let's count the days.

How long before the first one dies? Oh, like 12. Oh, my God. My place is so green at the moment. It's great. Did you get a piece, Lily? Nah, because I told you I didn't like those anymore because they're too high maintenance.

They're famously low maintenance. You don't need to do anything. Not a dribble of water. Every two days they were like droopy, like water me. A little't need to do anything. Not a dribble of water. Every two days they were like droopy, like water me. A little bit. A little bit.

Yeah, but I don't need, I don't want to be watering every couple of days. High maintenance. Your apartment must be so hot. It is. It does get really hot. That's what I'm saying.

Good luck. Okay, well how long till the first one goes brown? A week. A week. How much are we betting? Put your money where your mouth is. $5.

I'm not a betting person. $5. $5. I'll give you a free coffee. A slice at the cafe. A coffee and a slice. A donut. No, a donut.

One of the bougie donuts. Oh, okay. Okay. You heard that? She's finally going to give me something for free. Okay. I'm going to do this. We'll report back next Monday. See how your plants are going. Okay. Okay. You heard that? She's finally going to give me something for free. Okay. I'm going to do this. We'll report back next Monday.

See how your plants are going. Okay. Good. I think we need some sort of like Instagram tour of the plants or like the photos of all the plants because someone might have like some real good tips for that specific plant. Yeah.

All right. Well, if these just start dying, I'm just going to replace them. Someone said there's one called a mother-in-law's tongue. Oh, you know, I've got one of those. But so over the summer break, this is weird. I've got one of those mother-in-law's tongues. They're the big pointy ones and they're like splotchy on the...

But like a dark green aloe vera straight up. I don't know if it was who was house-sitting my plants, but they've grown mushrooms in the bottom. Is that bad? No, that can just happen sometimes but they've grown mushrooms in the bottom. Is that bad? No, that can just happen sometimes if there's spores in the soil. Yeah. That's neither good nor bad. It must be moist and warm but dark.

But can I add those to a stir fry? I wouldn't. No. I mean, we might not see you for a few days. And then I think a droopy house-sitting will be the least of your worries. Or you will, but you guys will be unicorns Yeah Fletch, Vaughan and Megan

The podcast ZM I went and saw my parents The weekend Because I hadn't seen dad For his birthday Oh yeah And his weather

We bought him a weather station Because I bought this weather station And he was pretty impressed by it So I bought him his own weather station That's a good dad press And now he can It's a rain rain gauge, it's a wind. And that was the thing, the wind blew after we got it up. And he's like, oh, I opened his phone, looked on the app.

He's like, oh, 23 kilometre winds from the south, south west. Oh my God. You know, all you're doing is setting yourself up for punishing Chad every time you call your parents. No, because that's the thing. I set it up on his app so he can look at my weather station and I can look at his weather station. What do you mean punishing Chad? Have you heard him?

This is like, he loves it. You do love weather, don't you? Jesus, it's already 21 degrees at their house. That's warm. What is it at your house? It's 14.9. Oof, brisk. Yeah, brisk in comparison.

But we can check on each other's weather anyway. Oh my God. And my dad's got a bit of a fascination with TVNZ weather reporter Renee Wright. What's that? What did we say? Fascination? What would be a better word? Obsession?

Yeah. No, it's not. Make it sound too bad. What does Christine think about this? She's fine with it. She just rolls her eyes. Basically rolls her eyes. Good luck with that.

But anyway, then, when we were watching the weather, as they always have to do, people of my parents' generation love catching the weather, especially the farmers, so they want to know what's coming. If I ring mum during the weather, I have to ring back. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Or just put the phone down. Just like, you know you've got an app for this. No, yeah, yeah. Or just put the phone down. Does she answer? It's like, you know, you've got an app for this.

No, no, no. Well, there's a problem. And mum's asked me, and dad's pretty miffed about it too, but he's got his own weather station now, so he doesn't need it as much. But he also wanted me to message Renee and say, this isn't to replace her. This is just to assist her.

Like, he can send her updates on how the weather is. He wouldn't want to upset her. No, no, no, no, no, no. Not at all. Good God, no. So mum said, message Renee and tell her we're not happy with the new look weather. This is on TV1

TV1's changed their weather. I haven't seen it. Yeah, mum and dad not happy about it. There's that, right at the start of the weather, there's the recap of the temperatures for the day, the high temperatures. And they show the whole country. The whole country. Hamilton doesn't get its own dot anymore.

Mum's livid. It's the fourth largest city in the country. She's like, where are all these? Look at all these other dots. What are these? What are these places? Are you sure they don't have their own dot? They don't have their own dot.

She rewound it and paused it to show me that they don't have their own dot. Who does have their own dot? Auckland's got its own dot. Tauranga's got its own dot. There's this weird dot that kind of hovers between Rotorua and Taupo. Right. What would that be?

But that's as close as the dot gets to Hamilton. Right. But then doesn't Hamilton get its own individual... Later in the piece. Yeah, well, that's all right then. They get their own piece later. Why do they need a dot at the start of the weather? It's not the fact that they need the dot.

It's that other people have got the dot. Why doesn't Hamilton have its own dot? And they had the dot and the dot got taken away. It had a dot. They've changed how the whole weather thing happened. Right. So I sent an abbreved version of this to Renee and she said she wasn't stoked with that.

And, you know, Daniel Corbett apparently said that there was an issue as well. Right. Well, I'd imagine there would have been. Mum's like, I'm not, and I guarantee I'm not the only one, Vaughan. You ask. You ask on Monday. People will be not happy.

I said, maybe they're not. I don't know how stations demographic, if there was a Venn diagram of people who listen to ZM and people who are upset about one news changing how the weather looks. There might be a tad crossover in the middle. There might be a slight touching, a bumping of the circles. A small common ground, but I wouldn't imagine it's too overlapped. Yeah. Of people who find both of those.

My mum keeps the Met Service weather tab open on the computer. The whole time? Sometimes, if she will, yeah. If she's got washing out. What is the fascination with weather? And just leaves it on the screen like it's its own personal weather. It'll just be here if she needs to go back to it. Maybe she might check the rain radar.

Love a rain radar. I love the rain radar. I love a rain radar. I love a rain radar. They love it. They love it. Yes. Huge fans.

So good. But that was my parents' latest complaint. And it got me thinking about what your parents' latest complaint would be because often they do have a complaint. And a lot of us would have been back for the holidays and spending time with the parents we might not normally, and we would have heard all about these kind of complaints. Or maybe you've caught up on a phone conversation or a Skype,

and they've unloaded. Something's changed. Generally, there's a change. And the change has spurred their distaste. Okay, well, we want to take some calls this morning. Your parents' latest complaint. What is it? Like Vaughan's parents with the weather changing.

The weather's changed. The more trivial, the better. Were there a few text messages? Oh, really? From people who have noticed the weather change? Well, no, just the change of We've had a few text messages. Oh, really? From people who have noticed the weather change. Well, no, just the change of the weather on a whole. Right. And Hamiltonians as a subgroup. Right.

Who've lost their dot. Fourth largest city. Yeah, okay. All right, well, 0800. Stankin' New Plymouth got one. No, but New Plymouth's on the side. You need to have a dot there. It's its own weather.

It's a microclimate, isn't it? Yeah. It deserves its own dot. Mm. 0800climate, isn't it? Yeah. It deserves its own dot. 0800DARLSATM. Give us a call. You can text 9696. What's your parents' latest complaint? All right.

What did you hear all about over the holiday break? Talking about the things that your parents have a complaint about. Yeah, the latest complaints. The latest complaints from the parents. Yep. My parents are very upset at the new look weather. Which is classic. You change the weather.

Oh, every time TV, any weather changes. Yeah. The old people don't like it. There'll definitely be complaints. Yeah. And Hamilton lost its dot to tell you the high temperature of the day right at the start. Not at all happy. The big issues.

Not at all happy. The big issues. Corey, what's your parents' latest complaint? Yeah, so my stepdad is constantly complaining about all the new kindergartens that are going in the area. What? They're building preschools. Yeah, yeah. But they're building them, like, everywhere.

Right. And that's offensive to him. Yeah, well, there's just too many of them. Only kids. The private businesses, though, so I'm imagining if they've oversupplied, there'll be an issue. A couple of them will have to go under, won't they?

Oh, I mean, hopefully. Well, there's obviously enough kids for all these new preschools, so why does it... It's bizarre, isn't it? Yeah. Okay, wow. Okay.

It sounds like him and his stepdad are on the same page, though. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, kind of, yeah. I mean, I'm almost a boomer myself, so... Yeah. You can hear yourself. You're like, okay, I see what's happening here. Now that you say it, though,

they do seem to be popping up everywhere. They're everywhere. You see them everywhere, don't you? Yeah, thanks for your call, Corey. Some text messages. Somebody messaged in that their dad's really upset because the Waipu Croquet Club, Bowls Club and Rugby Club all lease land from the Caledonia Society, but the Croquet Club has to pay more than the others, and it's a bloody crime.

That was their latest. Right, that's it. It's not fair. I, over the summer, had to help my dad write a sternly phrased letter to the local council about the traffic light phasing changing by their house. Oh. Because he'd get used to when that one stops, I go. Yeah.

Because when you become used to the phasing of lights, then that's changed. He'd get used to the When that one stops, I go. Because when you become used to the phasing of lights, then mum changed. But it might not be the fact that he can't predict it anymore. He may see fault in it. Because mum knows the local phasing down by the big intersection by her place. If she's in the little green Mazda, she'll be like quick, quick, that arrow's not going to last much longer.

She knows it. She knows. I know, she'd be absolutely ropeable. Somebody said their parents are complaining to New Zealand Post because the time that the mail gets delivered has been changed and they're not at all happy about it because they structured their day around when the mail would arrive. They structured their day around the mail? Well, obviously, if they're having a meal

and they know that the post is going to be there at 11.30, they can have the post and their midday meal. Who's kidding? This is what I'm imagining, because this is what my papa used to do. He'd be livid if the post wasn't exactly the same time every day, because he'd grab it and then have lunch. But nobody's getting mail anyway, anyway.

Anymore anyway. Well, they are, obviously. Really? Not like fun mail. And then your mum will start telling you about Ian, who's having troubles with his wife and this and that, and you're like, who's Ian? And she's like, it's my bloody mailman. Yeah. Chat with the mailman. Come on, mum. Some deep conversation. My parents' latest

complaint, double-decker buses on Waiheke Island. The place has clearly gone to the dogs. That was a phrase used more than once. Anna. Yes? Hi hi there. What's your parents' latest complaint? Well, because they live

in a two-story house and the internet connection is terrible and their bedroom's downstairs and they're always saying, nothing's loading, I can't watch anything. And then my mum

couldn't care less because she likes sleeping since he won't have the TV on. So we recently installed the Google Home internet router, so like a three-prong system. So now he's happy, but my mum's like, oh, great, I have to listen to him while I'm trying to sleep

watching random crap on the TV. So you help dad, but in turn you've made mum. Cursed mum. Yeah, right. Yeah, so now mum's got to complain out of this. Mum will be asleep and dad, you can imagine dad being like, hey, just before you go to sleep, look at this, look at this. Look at what I've

seen on the internet. It's a cat and it does a flip around to the other way. That basically is what happens. And then as soon as she turns it off when he falls asleep, he's like, no, turn it back on. I was watching. Wow, brilliant. Alright, thanks you, Cole. Anna, Sean, what, turn it back on. I was watching. Classic. Wow, brilliant.

All right, thanks you, cool. Anna, Sean, what's your parents' latest complaint? My mum is looking for a new car, right? And the most interesting thing she's done is she's now found that some cars have got really loud indicators. The first thing that she does, every time we go to a dealership,

is she'll get in and push the hazard lights. And if they're too loud, we have to walk away. It's a deal breaker for her. So she can buy a nice car, but she pushes get in and push the hazard light. And if they're too loud, we have to walk away. So deal for a good one. So she gets in a nice car, but she pushes the button and it says Yeah. And if it's too loud, I'm out. But the car's stationary. You've got to drive so you have road noise.

It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. Brilliant. Sean, thanks for your call. Somebody said, my parents are livid at how often the Trivago ads on television how often The Trivago ads On television Hotel

Trivago I bet they use it Do they use it I don't know Probably not Probably out of spite No No we're not using that

That bloody woman That ad Drives me Cuckoo Drives me potty Some other complaints They're probably more likely To use a hotel From the back of a docket, eh?

All those supermarket receipts. Get a lovely little mystery weekend. Yeah. They love it. Somewhere. Somebody said, my mum was ranting about the lack of the Hamilton weather dot last time I was down there. At least half an hour she went on about it. And by now she probably will have written a complaint letter

because she was beginning to pen that before I left. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Today's fact of the day comes from a new podcast I'm listening to. Okay. Anthropoph- Damn it! Anthropothesine. Is that right?

Anthropothesine. Anthropo- Like anthropology. Like anthropology. But seen on the end. Like the study of humanity. Anthropolesine. Anthro-

No, it hasn't got the L. Oh, Anthropos- Anthropos- Okay. What's the new podcast? Ah, it hasn't got the L. Anthropolis. Okay. It's a new podcast. It's a podcast. Somebody told me about it ages ago.

Whose podcast is it? I will get there in a moment. I click subscribe and I can't remember who told me about it or what. Yep. But it is hosted by John Green, the guy who wrote Fault in Our Stars. And Paper Towns. I think I've seen some interviews with him. He's pretty switched on, eh? He's very, yeah.

Yes. Very interesting fellow. He, in each episode, I've only listened to this one, but from what I can imagine is he takes some aspect of humanity and reviews it. Oh, okay. But I think this was because this one must have come out around New Year's Eve,

but he looked into Auld Lang Syne. You know the song? Which I've always called Auld Lang Syne. Auld Lang Syne. I never say Auld Lang Syne.

I always say, which is old Scottish and it basically translates to like back in the day. Right. The good old days. How does it go again? I've never understood that song.

Poor old Queen Tinsby Forgot and sometimes Translates to like back in the day. Right. The good old days. How does it go again? I've never understood that song. For old acquaintance be forgot and sometimes something. Oh, yep. Okay. Wait, is it for old acquaintance be forgot and never. Should old acquaintance be forgot and never thought upon. The flames of love extinguished and fully passed, of fully passing gone. But I always thought that it was really rough.

It's like, oh, forget about them. The years gone by, forget about them. Should they be? Move on. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Oh, should. Should they be?

Not like, you should forget old acquaintances. Right. Right. Should they, should they be forgotten? Anyway, he talks,

it's really interesting. Is it? Is it? Because it sounds riveting so far. Well, he talks, it's really interesting. Is it? Because it sounds riveting so far. Well, it was during this chat about Auld Lang Syne, he starts talking about what else it's used for. Right. And in Japan, this is today's fact of the day,

in Japan, Auld Lang Syne is used to tell shoppers that the shop's closing soon. Really? It's like the bar equivalent of playing Closing Time by Semisonic. Yes. Except it's, like, because, you know, if you've been in, like, the warehouse or came out or whatever and it's like, bing bong, just a friendly reminder,

the shop closes at 8 o'clock tonight. That's 10 minutes just to get your shopping done and get the hell out, thanks. Right. So in Japan, instead, when you hear Auld Lang Syne come on, you've got to get your shopping done because it's almost time to shut the shop. Why that song? I don't know.

Weird. Seems, yeah, okay. I guess because it's remembering the old but celebrating the new. Yeah. Because it's like a New Year's Eve song, eh? That's where you know it from. Yeah. You sing it, Happy New Year.

And it hasn't always been set to that tune. Right. Apparently, this seems like a weird place, but a good modern place to hear the tune that Auld Lang Syne was originally set to. Deep Heart and Funky. Sex and the City, 2008. Really? The movie Sex and the City from 2008 has the traditional version of Auld Lang Syne.

The movie? Yeah, I know. Weird, right? Or something like that. No, no, no. Not the theme song to the movie. The theme song to Sex and the City is in the original Auld Lang Syne. Imagine singing it to that.

That's what you meant. Anyway, today's fact of the day is in Japan to let you know that stores, bars, restaurants will soon be closing. They play Auld Lang Syne. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast.

Producer James has four more wake-ups. That's how when you work in Breakfast Radio, you count down to anything. How many more times you've got to drag your carcass out of bed at an ungodly hour. Producer James leaving the show. What's your new role called? Influencer. He's going to be an influencer, isn't he?

You're going to be an influencer. I'm going full-time influencing. They won't require you to put posts up on Instagram. I know, yeah. That's why they're paying top dollar for him, Megan, because he won't do it and

everyone's going to chip in to pay him to do one. Yeah, no, I'm moving into, it's sort of like a social media, communications, a

whole lot of stuff kind of job. It really sounds like you know what this job that you're going to is. Give him a break, he hasn't started it yet, how's he supposed to know what it is

I don't know what I'm doing Yeah, so I'm moving into that next week So, last week. Exciting, okay Four more wake-ups. Yeah, four more wake-ups Yeah, that's pretty sad It's just, it's quite soon after producer Caitlin's leave. I know And so the budget, because we spent

a lot on her going away present Well, yeah, and I mean, her leaving, it sort of led in for about two weeks there, and it was a pretty emotional time. It was, and we've cried our tears. I mean, we've got four days to go, so I don't know if you guys are bringing out the tears. We'll see what happens, maybe. No, not for me. I'm always willing to give as much emotion to someone

as I've got from them. And you've been pretty straight across the board. Yeah, true. Very. Well, over the time you've been here, we have collected some best bits from Producer James. And this one is about his second job. Producer James shocked us by telling us

about his secondary job. Tell everybody, what's your second job? What are you doing outside of workouts? Well, I felt like I needed to add another feather to my cap. It popped up, I forget where it was. It might have been a Facebook ad or something about being an Uber Eats delivery driver. And I thought, like, obviously we start early in the morning.

We have a bit of time in the afternoon. Yeah. You know, it wasn't really doing too much. Yeah. I felt like I needed to do something. And I thought, why not? Get into it. I had my first day yesterday.

On the job, on the road. And you just get to work this morning and you're like, by the way, guys, I'm an Uber Eats driver. And like, where did this come from? Did you deliver any fries? No fries, actually. Will you be taking a chippy tax? Well, I was thinking about that,

but if you know when you get over eats, they staple the bag as well. Get a stapler. Get a staple remover and a stapler. There's one out there in the station. You've got to staple it exactly where the other hole is. Yeah, right, mate. You're not a chump.

If you use a staple remover, right, so the bits that are folded down, you use that. You pry it open. You could do this with a knife. And then fold it open. Don't even take the staple out of its holes. And then line them back up, feed them through, clip, clip, clip. So I did the burrito.

I did the buttered chicken. Are you hungry at this stage yourself? Not really. You're always on the move, you know. No time to get hungry, mate. No time to get hungry. You're always on the move, you know. No time to get hungry, mate. No time to get hungry. You're on the job. Your car is going to be the weirdest smelling car in the world.

I was about to say, my car still smells like butter chicken, even after a sushi order and a poke bowl after that. A poke bowl? Yeah, poke bowls don't really smell, do they? Like a fresh fish? No, but the curry, yeah, still got the smell. But you could have worse smells in your car. So, yeah, I went and bought an insulated bag yesterday

from Bed Bath & Beyond to keep my food nice and hot. Oh, it's extra-ductible. I've got so many of those. I could have given you one, Deb. You need another one. Don't buy. But I needed one to fit an 18-inch pizza in, so. Sows.

Sows, yeah. What was it? BYO insulated bags. Yeah. Because you want to deliver it hot, though, because that's, yeah. What was that? BYO insulated bags. Yeah. Because you want to deliver it hot, though, because that's on you. Exactly. That's the difference between a thumbs up

and a thumbs down, isn't it? Wait, so after you bought the insulating pizza bag and petrol, did you make any money yesterday? Yeah, I mean, I'm just making it in the green. You've got to start somewhere. You've got to spare money to make money. Start up costs. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. So it turns out if you drink with your partner, it could be good for your relationship. Okay. There's a study that has been done. The University of Michigan did it and they have looked into people's relationships and how that relates to their drinking habits.

Now, people who drank with their partners and drank similar amounts were happier and stayed together longer. Does it have to be alcohol or could it just be like? No, we're talking alcohol. Okay, right. It has to be booze. Not like cokes. A couple of cokes.

Okay. So, husbands were more likely to drink than wives. But for wives, there was a problem when only one of them drank. And wives particularly, when their husbands didn't, they were more dissatisfied with their marriage. When wives drank but their husbands didn't. Who was dissatisfied with the marriage? Wives.

Wives were. Could they be drinking because they were dissatisfied? That's a good baby. Exactly. Is it cause or effect? Yeah. They're having a wine because they were dissatisfied? That's a good maybe. Exactly. Is it cause or effect? Yeah. They're having a wine because they're like, God, I have to put up with this douche. Or, yeah.

So it's not to do with how much you drink. It's whether you drink at all. So if you're a drinker and your partner's not, then the study says that it's not a great idea. Yeah, it's a problem. But surely if you both don't drink Well no, if you both don't drink if you're on the same page then

that's fine. That's the idea. But if one drinks the other should or not should but it makes it easier. I can see why there's the cost involved. Oh true, I didn't even think about that. I can see why. Like, there's the cost involved. Oh, true. I didn't even think about that. I'm going to polish off a bottle of vodka or wine every day.

Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Like, that starts to add up. Yeah. And then you might resent that. And then if they go out drinking, there's the whole, like, eating while they're out. Yeah. Taxi's home.

All that sort of stuff. It all starts adding up. So you might be a bit more. Yeah. There, all that sort of stuff. It all starts adding up. So you might be a bit more, there might be that sort of financial resentment there. But then there's also just looking after somebody. Yeah. It's a race to see who gets the most boozed first because otherwise you have to be the babysitter.

They write themselves off and you don't drink and then the next morning you want to do something, but they're in no state to. That could wear thin. I can see why. Yeah. Both being hung over in bed would to, that could wear thin. I can see why. Yeah. Both being hung over in bed would be beneficial. A better option for your marriage.

ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. Ah, well, this event that happened over the weekend had all the hallmarks of being a moment in history that I would have loved to have been witness to. Yeah. The reunion of the original Wiggles to raise money for people who have lost

stuff in bushfire and bushfire recuperation. They did the R18 shows what, a couple of years back, didn't they? Yeah! And we bought tickets online and then we gave away the trip to go and I couldn't go and I really wanted to and then this came up and I said if I'd had more warning I would have really made an effort. Yeah, right.

To get across because it's bucket list stuff to the original film. It's bucket list, is it? Oh, you saw him when he met some of the new Wiggles. Oh my God, so they were staying in the same hotel as us in Dunedin and you accosted Emma Wiggle. Emma and Lockie, that was a one

that was one and then Simon Wiggle I met independently of the other two. I've never seen you so gaga overtaking photos of celebrities. It was ridiculous. I knew I just had a moment. Yeah. I had that moment and I would look back and be like, oh, I wish I got that photo.

And they just wanted to drive out of that quest to an Eden car park. Yeah. As quickly as possible, but they couldn't. You were standing in front of the car i'm right there yeah so the the show was an r18 gig so imagine that getting a bit raised and watching the world do they say swear words i don't know they had they had um t-shirts that said wake the f up jeff oh okay jeff wow risk F. It's about E-F-F. Up, Jeff.

J-E-F-F underneath. A little bit of graphic design thought there. But it was during the show that apparently Greg, the original Yellow Wiggle, who retired originally due to health issues, he's got a heart problem. He had like a full blown cardiac arrest just off stage. At the show? Yeah. He managed to get himself off stage and it was a fan that

resuscitated him. Did somebody say wake up? He defribbed. No, because it was Greg. It wasn't Greg. You wake up Greg? No, they didn't defib. Yes, she did. Did she defib? The nurse came from the audience. Grace is her name and she defibbed. I thought she just CPR'd. No, they were already

CPA-ing. A defibrillator. Where did she have a defibrillator? Someone brought it off. It was obviously in the... A public defibbed. I thought she just CPR'd. No, they were already CPA-ing. Where did she have a defibrillator? Someone brought it off. It was obviously in the... A public defib. In the stadium or wherever they were. Yeah, you always see, like the supermarket has defibrillators. Is it defrib or defib?

I think it's defibrillator. Defibrillator. Because how awesome would it be to use one of those in the supermarket if someone was like, I don't know, you just see someone fell over by the apples, you're like, oh, well, finally my chance to use the defibrillator. Defibrillator.

But they've just slipped over on the wet floor and you're on them with a bloody. That's the thing. How do you know when they're just like knocked out or when they need a defit? Yeah, well, if they have slipped on the mop, the wet floor by the apples, and you defibrillate them, they're going to wake up. Yeah.

Aren't they? Okay, so I've just had to look up. Yeah. Defibrillator. So the R is after the B, not after the F. We've been saying defrib, But it's defibrillator. Defibrillator. Defib.

Just say defib. Defib. They need it to defib. Yeah. Defibrillator. Is that right? Yes. Can you Google, what does Google say?

The Google lady. Do you have that to pronounce it? Yeah. So just say defibrillator. Defibrillator. Do I have to? I can't be bothered. Because I'll have to copy it in and I'll paste it.

You could have literally done it. And then I'll open up the YouTube one. It'll be that Emma Sears YouTube account. Yeah, just do that. And then it's going to have an ad at the start. And then French will be like, meh. Meh. Pay for premium.

No, but Google. Like, I'm the only person in the world that's not paying for YouTube. That is a pretty accurate play-by-play, to be fair. That's what will happen. I just saved us the 25 seconds of getting there. But Google has a how to say. You don't need to go to YouTube. No, Google has a translator.

Oh, my God. I don't think I can just go Google. Can you just ask Siri to say defibrillator? Oh, no, because then she'll be like, I don't know what you mean. Unless I, okay, this is what I could do. Yeah, what? I could, should I, now do you want defibrillation or defibrillator? Now I can't copy and paste because I can't see that written right in front.

Defibrillators, I've managed, I'm going to copy and paste that. Defibrillators. I've managed, I'm going to copy and paste that. Defibrillator. So what I'm going to do is I'm going to put it from English into French and then back into English and get her to say it. It needs to be an easier word because if you're yelling for one, you know. Yeah. And you need to be in a hurry. Do you think even the ambulance people know how to say it?

You good? I've got French. Defibrillator. That's a defibrillator. Defibrillator. Oh, that sounds easy. Now back into got French. Des fibrillateurs. Now back into English. De fibrillator. De fribillator.

De fribillator. She went from real sexy French to Aussie. De fibrillator. De fibrillator. De fibrillator. Do you want to know how the Spanish say it? Who do you reckon says de fibrillator sexiest? The to know how the Spanish say it? Oh, defibrillator. Who do you reckon says defibrillator sexiest? The Spanish.

Or the Italians? Italian. Desfibrillator. No. Desfibrillator. What are the... Go German. Oh, no, that'll be scary.

Okay, hold on. German. Let's see how you say it. Defibrillator. Oh, was that German? Yeah, that was German. They might not have a specific word. What about Haitian Crayola?

Oh, they don't have a pronunciation thing. Let's go back to, who was it going to test? The Italians. That's always a, oh, I reckon it's going to have a ray on the end. What do you reckon? Defibrillatore. Oh, yeah. Defibrillatore.

Mario, fetching fettuccine. It's down there, I'm passing the fettuccine. Why is the defibrillator by the fettuccine? You've gone too far. You've gone to the parmigiano. Back, Mario, back. Why is the defibrillator in all the ingredients section?

It's in the pantry. It's in the pantry. It's in the middle of the supermarket. Oh, right. Oh, okay. Yeah. Of course. Why wouldn't it be?

Oh, stupid. Of course it is. Yeah, right. It's not by the customer service desk. No one collapses at the customer service desk. They collapse while they're doing their shopping.

Right. By the cheese. Yeah, between the cheese and the pasta. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. If you enjoyed this podcast, why not give ZM's Bree and Clint a listen too? Subscribe on the iHeartRadio app

or wherever you get your podcasts. And music lives here. ZM.