ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Megan Podcast - January 21 2019

Episode Date: January 16, 2019

Swipemares and 'mosh Mondays return for the first time this year, and how did you get over a breakup?See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hello and welcome to the Fletch, Vaughan and Megan podcast, brought to you by Spark. Get the new Nokia 7.1 from $499 on a Spark prepaid rollover value pack. And now, on with the podcast. Thanks, Anya. Good morning. Welcome to the show, Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. Hello. I like that they had to even mention what he died of 113 Oh what did he die of

Yeah Being old as shit 113 years old Body failure Yeah just all in all just giving up God could you imagine that 113

Certified 1905 he was born To be fair though the picture he doesn't look decrepit He looks like something was working alright His family 1905 he was born. To be fair though, the picture, he doesn't look decrepit. He looks like something was working all right.

His family owned a hot springs, an all natural hot springs. Oh, okay. Right, okay. His parents started it. He inherited it. He passed it on to his kids. I think his granddaughter runs the show now. Kind of like Hamner Springs or something. Yeah, right, okay.

Japanese Hamner Springs. Hydra Slides? Unsure of Hydra Slides. Unsure of Hydra Slides. Unsure of Hydra Slides. Right. But apparently, reckon that was a bit to do with the long life.

Hot spring bath every day. Hot pool. Yeah. Hot pool. It was a natural hot springs though. Right. Because he doesn't have to go out and check the chlorine.

Get the little shaker thing. Shit. About five litres I reckon. Get the little shaker thing. Oh, shit. About five litres, I reckon. Sprinkle the crystals around. Get out there and get in there. That ends Fletch Vaughan and Megan. Free fuel. And we're giving away free fuel this morning every 15 minutes.

100 bucks every 15 minutes. So first caller through right now on 0800-DARLS-ZM gets it. ZM, good morning. You've got to get it. Hi, who's this? Grace. Grace, it's 6 o'clock in the morning. Are you ready to get it? Oh, definitely.

Hey Grace, congratulations. $100 free fuel. All yours. Amazing, thank you Easy, just like that So who's got the timer? Who's in charge of the timer? One, it's in front of you Nope, space bar wasn't the one What do I press to start it?

The green button It's one of those ones, if you don't move the mouse it goes invisible Start it. Yes. I should be in charge of that. Yeah, actually, Megan's always in charge of the timer. Yeah. Flip it round.

So, Megan. Way more responsible. Thank you. This is actually, I didn't want to do it. I did it wrong and then I get the responsibility taken off me. Another $100 free fuel in 15 minutes. Every 15 minutes until 9 this morning. All right, you lot, listen up.

It's story time. All right, story time. Three news headlines. The stories that I've found online. Interesting, odd stories. Vodamag and pick one of the following three headlines. That's how it works. Headline one. Grandma brags about her wonderful 19-year-old lover.

Hey, yo. Headline two, nearly 200 miss out on free fuel. And headline three, man's cautionary tale of sleeping pills. Is that a Vaughan Smith story? I've heard cautionary tales. There he goes. This one's more dramatic than your Cautionary Tales. Oh, really?

Does it involve... Nah, we've talked too much about pooing yourself on the show. I'll clean this act up. It'll be a one-man janitorial claim. Is the second one, the fuel one, is that the Mexican pipeline? Is that the fuel one. Yeah. Is that the Mexican pipeline? Is that the fuel line? Yeah.

Classic. Because this happens every now and then. I remember it happened in Africa. I think it was Nigeria. It happened once too. People believe that if you just drill in or smash your way into a fuel pipeline with a sledgehammer or a pick, you'll be able to just put out a bucket and collect all the gas that flows out.

Right. It explodes. Yeah. And this one exploded as well, didn't it? It did, yeah. It was an explosion. Yeah. It's a lot of pressure, isn't it?

Quite a few people missing. I was going to say there was, yeah. Yeah, like about nearly 200. A missing. Yeah. I think 85 confirmed dead. Oh, my God. Another 90-odd missing.

Crikey. Yeah. Oh, okay. Well, odd missing. Crikey. Yeah. Although we're all gathered around with our buckets ready to catch all the free fuel, weren't we? I know, yeah. But there's an easier way to get free fuel. Listen to the show this morning. You're at 15 minutes.

How long do you go, Megan? What's the timer at, Megan? Nine minutes, 52, 51. There you go. All right. Okay, so what story do you want? The one about the grandma and her lover or man's cautionary tale of sleeping pills? I don't want the grandma and her lover because I don'tary tale of sleeping pills. I don't want the grandma and her lover

because I don't want those jokes this morning. Yeah, I was going to say that's less of a headline and more of a peek into Megan's future. So yeah, that other one. The number three. Alright, we go now to America. A Redditor has shared his experience,

his cautionary tale of sleeping pills on Reddit. The Redditor with the tag OpreaMan. OpreaMan. OpreaMan, yeah, has shared this tale. He is saying you've got to be careful when taking Ambien. Now, this is in America the over-the-counter sleeping. It's sleeping, isn't it? Or is it a medication with sleeping,

a sleeping ingredient? Right. Anyway, he took four of them. And this is where his cautionary tale starts. He says, anyways, I couldn't sleep, so I decided to take

four 10 mg ambience, in brackets. Milligrams. Milligrams. I'm an idiot. Ten. Ten four milligram ambience. Four 10 milligrams. So pretty much the same. So'm an idiot. 10. 10 four milligram ambience. Four 10 milligrams.

So pretty much the same. So probably. 40 milligrams. Yeah. So probably. Far more than would be needed. Then exactly. So he goes on to say that I'm an idiot.

I had an engagement ring in my drawer that I'd traded for some other jewelry because I buy and sell stuff on Craigslist. Next thing he remembered was seeing the ring on his now fiance's finger. He had no recollection, but he had proposed to her. Long story short, he says, I woke up, she was wearing the ring on her finger and explained what had happened. I was just shook because I couldn't remember.

Apparently, I went on my Facebook, changed my relationship status to engaged and it got 150 likes before I'd seen it. How long has he been with a girlfriend? Is that not what he... So apparently he had planned on it, not with this ring because he was buying and trading them. Right.

But he had planned to propose to her. It's just happened earlier. Oh, and it's sad that he can't remember that. Yeah. He says, warning, if it's 3 a.m. and you can't sleep, do not take Ambien. Oh, so this sounds like he did it, but he's just regretting it now. But did he propose to her at 3 o'clock in the morning? Yeah, or I don't know.

Or was it during, like, the morning? I'm unsure. Yeah. Because he took a lot of sleeping pills. If your boyfriend's, like, slurring when he's proposing to you, I'd be like, go to sleep and we'll try this again another time. Yeah, he's like, Rolls over, gets it, rolls back.

What? Can't understand you Oh my Yes You are a catch It actually On the thread It actually got people sharing Their stories of what they'd done

On sleeping pills as well Somebody My favourite one There's a lot like Some guy woke up with a Lexus in his driveway. I know. Oh my lord. My favourite one, though, is somebody that received, woke up after taking sleeping pills and had received a confirmation email from Amazon that they'd ordered Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman, the complete box set.

Holy, you know, she was in New Zealand recently, Jane Seymour. doing a business chat or something. Yeah, what are what Sully's up to? That was the guy

with the tomahawks. Oh yeah. It was her long-haired love interest. I used to love that show. Me too. That was on Friday night, so that was a Friday night

stay at home classic. And then Viper was on afterwards. That's right! Vintage? The car, and it was a Dodge Viper and it was the whole,

you never noticed it at the time but it was just, the whole show was a marketing. Yeah. They don't do stuff like that anymore, have a whole show that's just basically marketing a car or they probably do actually

but I don't recognise it right now. Free fuel every 15 minutes on the show this morning. How many minutes? Five minutes and 45 seconds. All right. ZM, Fleeche, want to make it in the show this morning. How many minutes? Five minutes and 45 seconds. All right. ZM, Fleets, want to make it in the show? Thanks to Spark,

getting you a phone from $99 on a Spark prepaid rollover pack. We've got free fuel every 15 minutes on the show this morning. There's a Russian startup. This is a company in Russia that wants to take advertising to the next level. Start Rocket is what this company's called. And they believe they have the technology

to effectively have massive billboards in space. Unavoidable space billboards. Okay, what's the deal with, like, who owns the sky above, like, a country or a city? 280 miles high. What's that in kilometres? What do you do? You times it by 1.6.

Heaps. Heaps. So that many kilometres up. It's miles up. Right. It's in inner space. Right. Not outer space.

Inner space. Is it higher than planes fly? It would be, wouldn't it? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Way, way higher. Way higher. Okay, right. So basically how this is going to work,

they're going to launch a whole lot of these little mini satellites in one rocket and they detach. And then they join together and they've got like 30-foot wide solar cells. Right. And they can program in like an Etch-A-Sketch what ones to activate and make logos and everything with light that reflects off the sun. So the same way the moon does. The moon doesn't have its own light source.

It just reflects the sun's. Right. This will be far enough out that it can reflect the sun's light and light up with whatever. So Coca-Cola. They choose what panels light up. Yep. What parts of what panels light up.

They can program them to be reflective or to be absorbing light, to power it. Right. Solar panel. It's not going to then block out sun for certain areas. No, no. It'll only work at night. You won't be able to see it during the day.

Oh, my God. Are you kidding? Yeah. So at night time. That's so weird. But I'm just looking outside now and there's like clouds. So cloud nights would render it useless because it's above the clouds.

Yeah, right. It wouldn't go through the clouds. But it's going to be in the night sky it will be seen from all sorts of places. Like that's the other thing they said you might be targeting America with your coke advertising but Mexico

and Canada will be able to see it as well because it's that far up. Not as clearly as one place will always have the best view of it like like when an eclipse happens. Yeah. But others will get partial, be like, what's that? And up in the sky, you'll be able to see the light. Well, you think about national parks and stuff, and where is it down south where you go to

McKenzie country? Yeah, where they have light pollution brews. Yeah. Rules. Yeah. So you can see the sky and everything, and suddenly there's like, oh, cook. That's the thing. So there's many people who think this is a really bad idea,

and when you start doing this, and other companies start doing it, the night sky is never going to be the same again. Yeah. When you open the door to it. But also for the fact that something that wide will also really increase the chances of collisions with stuff that's already in the sky.

Like important satellites. Or just space junk. And then if something, if it gets crashed into, then you can't control where it falls. Yeah, right. But they said the plan would be to have it up there for a year and then they would crash it into that part of the ocean. New Zealand's actually the closest to the spaceship graveyard. There's this part of the sea where you do your calculations

to when you'd come back in and it lands down there and then they're just like, eh, forget about it. Do they not go and collect it? No. Sinks to the bottom of the ocean. Oh, because, yeah, that's what...

You know how, like, constantly we're like, heck, we'd better learn from our mistakes and not just dump heaps of rubbish somewhere again? Yeah. What's that?

Yeah. What's that? Terrible idea. What's that? Five... That ends Fletch Vaughn and Megan. Yeah. What's that? Yeah. What's that? Terrible idea. What's that? 500. That ends Fletch Vaughn and Megan. Free fuel.

Sorry to interrupt you, Maughan. We've got free fuel. I was just going to say 500,000 pieces of junk in space, or junk satellites, everything, are currently actively tracked by the US Department of Defence. 500,000. Half a million things. How we put that much up there? Oh my God.

One of the things is an astronaut's glove. How cool was that? All right. Free fuel every 15 minutes. First caller through right now gets it. 0800 dial ZM. ZM, who's this? Megan.

Megan. Good morning. Congratulations. $100 free fuel. All yours. Awesome. Thank you so much. Easy. $100 free fuel. All yours. Awesome. Thank you so much. Easy.

How was your weekend? What was the most exciting thing that happened? Just went out with some friends for dinner. That was pretty cool. Okay. What did you have for dinner? I went to Thai. Do you know what?

Don't go anywhere because today's fact of the day is about Thai food. That's coming up in two hours. There you go, hook them in. What did you get at Thai? Did you go chicken pad Thai? No, I didn't go pad Thai. She had a fried rice and a

peanut satay dish. Did you get money bags? Starters, money bags? No. Do a mixed entree and then just hit the money bag. Hard. All right. Another 15 minutes more.

Free fuel. F.E.M. Bleach, Warnamegan and free fuel every 15 minutes on the show this morning. Yesterday on Prime, Prime TV, channel, whatever it is on your TV. Everybody's different. But a show was on and it ran for 12 hours. And it wasn't a telethon. No, it was not.

It wasn't a, yeah, one show ran for 12 hours. Was it just one of those antics road shows? Oh, that'd be good. Not like What Now? And it has multiple TV shows on one thing. No. No. No.

Okay. Do you know what? Actually, I saw a celebrity version of... It's like, you know those shows where they go around the country and they buy up antiques to take back to the main antiques store and they have a competition out of who can get the most valuable antiques from some old dude's barn? Yeah. They've got into the celebrity version of that now.

The British, they took these two old British celebrities around. It's like they could put a celebrity in front of any TV show and give it a go, can't they? It was pretty good though. They found some good treasures. No, this show was called Go South. I heard about this as like a screensaver of New Zealand. Yeah,

basically. It started in Auckland and worked its way down to Milford Sound. Went like on boats, trains, cars, trucks, trucks the lot and it was just the trip ghost going south so there was a three hour version yeah and a 12 hour version so the three hour version was on like saturday night and then i think it was like straight afterwards at one o'clock in the morning what What? I'm just thinking if you're sitting there watching that on Saturday night I'm going to bang some stoners, eh?

Just like baked on the couch fucking through the channel and then they get involved in it and then they're like Oh mum, can we stop? I need to go wheeze. Oh my god, I'm not even in a car, man. But I'm glad I didn't hear about it because I totally could have been one of those things. Imagine falling asleep

on the couch and then and waking up three hours later and it's still going except now you're in your Plymouth. So someone had to film that then? So there was 40 hours of travel time edited down into the two versions, the three hour and the 12 hour. Is it going to be online or anything? Because that would be quite cool for screensavers. Yeah, to just have taken through.

Really, it wasn't just like a GoPro hucked on the handlebars either. It was like really nicely shot. Right. But it's like a road trip without any of the good bits. Like without the stopping at the BP and getting treats. Yeah. We can go to the fridge and pretend you're there.

No like fun destination at the end. Like you don't actually, it's weird. You're just sitting there watching someone drive. Have you got an Apple TV? When the screensavers come on on Apple TV, they're like these incredible drone, like, aerial shots. They're so mesmerising. Sometimes I'm on the couch and I just look up

and then, like, half an hour later, I'm like, probably should get up now. Like, I just get so, they're so well done. It was like computers in the 90s when the pipes started. I only could sit and watch those pipes for a while or the stars. There's never the space screens over. Or the bouncing windows logo. Yeah.

I'm just wondering where it's going to hit next. All right, Spice next on the show. There is a new Hollywood couple that will make you. Yeah. It's interesting, isn't it? Details there. It's pretty hot. Plus a couple of minutes away from more free fuel.

Fletch, Vaughn and Megan. The podcast. ZM. Fletch, Vaughn and Megan. Free fuel every 15 minutes. The Top Six with Vaughn Smith. Hello there. Some entrepreneurial Aucklanders.

I tip my hat to you because I believe assistance in this area in any way, getting the word out there, taking the awkwardness out of it. If some people find it awkward, it's all good stuff. I'm talking about a condom delivery service that some Auckland teenagers are going to start, which is a great idea. 18-year-olds, Jamie, Harry

and Isaac. I like that it's called Package. Yeah, that's what the business is called, Package, and it'll deliver them right to the door. So they just said they were talking to people about condoms and if there was any embarrassment to it. And they all said, yeah, it's super embarrassing to buy it at the supermarket. And if

you're young, you probably buy it near your house and then someone always knows someone that knows someone and then your mum's like, you got through that whole packet of condoms? You're like, man. But then now with self-serve checkouts, because like back in the day when there was no self-serve checkouts,

that was embarrassing. But now you can easily hide, you know, something dodgy. Nah, you're buying it. Guarantee it'll be like, please place item in bagging area. Because they're so light. Yeah. Oh God, that would so happen too.

Please await assistance. The red light. Yeah. Oh, God, that would so happen too. Please, I'll wait, assistance. The red light starts flashing. You'll be like, girl. And then everyone else is waiting for assistance too, and they're all looking. But it takes the awkwardness out of you purchasing it, but what about the guy delivering? Yeah, true.

Or the girl delivering. Especially if someone's, you know, like in the middle of it, and they realise they need it. Yeah, I know, and they need a sub-60. That's the courier service like in the middle of it and they realise they need... Well, yeah, I know. They need a sub-60. Yeah. That's the courier service, not the sexual position. The top six awkward things... Could also be a sexual position. Yeah, I'm just trying to think how it could be.

The top six, it's like half of it and then a bit of it. Okay. So the top six awkward things about being a condom delivery courier. Number six. When you're delivering your largest package, thousands of condoms, and the guy that opens the door, you think, really? Have we ever ordered?

You know these things expire in a couple of years, right? I reckon working in an adult store, you'd be constantly coming up with backstories for your customers. Oh, yeah. It would be so interesting. It's always the quiet ones. Yeah, I know. The dark and devious. Yeah.

The dark and devious. Number five on the list of the top six awkward things about being a condom delivery courier. When you're delivering and a teenage girl answers the door, you assume they're for her and she says, Oh, these must be mums. Like, ooh. Number four on the list of the top six awkward things about being a condom delivery courier,

you're making a delivery to a gay sauna, and they ask if you're part of the package. That's a compliment, though. Yeah. Is it? Sure it is. Yeah, okay. Hey, you don't assume

they might want to be part of the package. Yeah, well, I shan't assume. I believe homosexuals may even be couriers. Shock horror, I know. Oh, God. It's holding down ordinary jobs. Just like ordinary tax payers. What kind of world are we living in?

Functioning members of society. Well, I never. Number three on the list of the top six awkward things about being a condom delivery courier are when you're delivering an order of XL condoms to someone who you can just tell is a medium at best. Oh. It's a morning to get the right size.

It is. You don't want that slipping off. Or cutting off the circulation. True. Hmm. Hmm. Just trying to remember what size condom I would have purchased. Just the normal one?

It's been a while. It certainly wasn't XL. Thanks for that. I think some, I've played it with a couple of guys, and they had condoms in their drawers. The ones on the top were XL. They said they never used them, but it just gives the impression. It's in the drawer, and someone would see XL on top,

but the, you know, small to mediums at the bottom. Okay. Just a little tip they had. Number two on the list of the top six awkward things about being a condom delivery courier. When you're delivering to an address and it turns out to be a retirement home and they meant to order a box of cotton for sewing, not a box of condoms

for sexing. Yeah. But sexing and sewing are only one letter different. Yeah, true. X and W, and they're right next to each other as well. W, S, I, and Z. Sexing. And you know in retirement homes, they're sewing and they're sexing. But they don't have to worry about condoms because they're going to die anyway. What's the worst that can happen? Syphilis?

Bring it on. Number two on the list of the top six awkward No, number one, sorry about the top six awkward things about being a condom delivery courier. Delivering condoms to an address that turns out to be your girlfriend's apartment, but you haven't had sex yet. And she said she was saving herself for marriage and... Who's that

guy? Is there someone in there? Is there someone in there? That better be your pastor. Is that someone in here sleeping in that person? Oh my God, Edith. That's today's top six. ZM, Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, a few minutes away from seven. There's post-Christmas blues for a lot of Chihuahuas around the country.

Not just people. Animals get it too. Yes. Now, this has come from the New Zealand Chihuahas around the country. Not just people. Animals get it too. Yes. Now, this has come from the New Zealand Chihuahua Rescue Trust, NCRT. I don't know if they'll appreciate me calling it that. There's a thing. They need a trust too because after Christmas,

they are preparing for a huge influx. Anytime there's a rescue trust attached to a specific breed of dog, I feel really sorry for the dog. Like there's a husky rescue because people think I'm going to get a wolf looking dog and then they get them and they're like boundless energy

and they don't train them properly because they can be chilled out and relaxed. They're designed to run aren't they? Yeah but then people don't train them and then they're like well too hard get rid of it.

Do you feel sorry for the chihuahuas? I do feel sorry for the chihuahuas. I would never ever want one because they yuck and googly eyes but I feel sorry for the chihuahuas? I do feel sorry for the chihuahuas. I would never, ever want one because they're yuck and googly eyes. But I feel sorry for them. I don't feel sorry for any animal that's abandoned. That's horrible. People get cats for Christmas and they just don't think about them. Rabbits are a big problem.

Goats as well. I know the SPCA said over some of the, like, we've got lots of goats. Well, because people buy a goat and then they're just like, oh, yeah, my roadside's been chewed, so see you, I guess. Well, this is the problem with chihuahuas because they're a designer dog and everyone thinks they're cute and stuff. Is it the bulgy forehead?

The bulgy forehead, that's the problem, isn't it? And that's coming from someone with a bulgy forehead. I just can't find them cute. I don't see the appeal. Like at least I can see your, what kind of dog do you have? He's a Bichon Griffin. Like, that's cute-ish. Oh, my God.

What? How could you do this? But when you compare to a Chihuahua. Did everyone hear that? I think Megan's dog looks like it's got a bit of Chihuahua in it. No, he doesn't. With the boogly eyes. He doesn't have.

He's got boogly eyes. This is not about Leo. Leave Leo out of this. No, it's because, like, celebrities have chihuahuas, so everyone's like, oh my god, cute, big cat, I can put it in my handbag and stuff. But it's not even a big cat. I've got a cat that's bigger than a chihuahua. It's just like a big cat. It's like, I've

seen a cat that would smash that chihuahua. Yeah, but they have like, breathing difficulties, heart disorders, neurological conditions, neck deformities, they have problems with their eyes and teeth, because one's smaller than the other. How have they evolved, eh? I'm not sure.

But they have a lot of... But that's the problem. Designed originally, they hunted rats, right, in Mexico. Chihuahuas did? Yeah, they're rat hunting dogs. But they look like... They look like rats. The rat's like, oh my God, friends.

And the Chihuahuas are like, nah. Yeah, I am your friend. Come here, come here. A little bit closer. But here they'd hunt rats. Oh, okay. Yeah, they're your friend. Come here, come here. A little bit closer. But here they'd hunt rats. Oh, okay. Yeah, little wee rat hunters. But then now they've just been interbred to...

Because they can be quite vicious. Oh, that's why I don't like them. I got nipped by it. That, I got nipped by a pug. Any dog I don't like is because I got nipped by it. Corgis, I got nipped by a corgi once. Did you? But they're kind of cute when they're puppies.

So Chihuahua ate my chicken. I had a chicken when I was little, midnight. Oh, I thought you meant Like you dropped like a Wing or something And it numbed it up And you're like that's it The whole breed Off

I ate a bit of my chicken I'm done with you Alright Free Fuel Every 15 minutes Coming up FVM the podcast ZM lost in Japan Fletch, Vaughn and Megan

It's 11 minutes past 7. Every 15 minutes, free fuel, 100 bucks. First caller through. ZM, good morning. Who's this? Good morning. This is Ashley. Ashley, congratulations.

100 bucks, free fuel. Easy. Just like that. Well done. Start the timer. 15 minutes free fuel. Woo! Easy. Just like that. Well done. Start the timer. 15 minutes. We'll do it again. Do you know, over the weekend, I was trying to get my...

When we moved into our new house, there's these plugs in the wall where you can plug the stereo speakers in, and then the wires are mysteriously hidden in the wall behind the TV. Oh, yeah, I like that. I know. Great. Yeah, right? It's good. Because I don't like dangly cords. Because last time I just drilled hidden in the wall behind the TV. Oh, yeah, I like that. Great, yeah, right. Because I don't like dangly cords. Because last time I just drilled holes in the floor. Yeah.

That wasn't apparently a great idea, but I found out afterwards when my wife told me off. So I've been trying to get it going. I've been trying to get this working. Yeah. And in the weekend, I decided it was time to go under the house. You ever go under a house? No, too many spiders.

Yeah, there's like, A, there was spiders, so I took a broom and waved it in front of me. And there are like rats, so I opened the door and I sent the dog in first. I was like, in you go. What's Lulu going to do? Bark at them and they'll run away. That's what I was hoping for.

I went under my house and got a trespass order from the flat below mine. You're like, I want to see where this wire goes. Boot, open the door. No, you can't just come in here. Right. That'll happen. So I went under the house and I found the wires.

But then they led to this other part. And I went back into the house and I couldn't find where the wires came out. And so I went back under with a tape measure and measured how far where these wires went back into the house was from the walls. Oh, God, this would do my head in. So I went back upstairs and I measured it and it's inside the wall. So I'm like, this is mysterious. So I measured the wall and I found out that the measurements weren't adding up.

There was 120 centimetres of unaccounted for space. 120 is a metre? One metre 20. Oh, okay. Of unaccounted for space. What, like a wall that's that wide? A wall within a wall. A wall cavity.

So immediately I'm like, I've got to get into the wall. It must be drugs or something. So I, Sade wasn't home. I rung her. I said, is it all right if I put a hole in the wall? And she said, absolutely not. And I was like, okay, bye. Hung up the phone and I was like, I'm just going to have to go in from behind the cabinetry because that'll hide a hole in the wall. And she said, absolutely not. And I was like, okay, bye. Hung up the phone and I was like,

I'm just going to have to go in from behind the cabinetry because that'll hide a hole. So I figured out how to take out this cabinetry and I took it all out. And I was like, tap, tap, sounds hollow. Got my drill, drilled through. Lo and behold, there's a cavity in there and I can only see through the tiny little drill hole.

Why would they hide? Why would you waste all that space in the house? I don't know. Because that's like a hole that could be a cupboard. Anyway, when I pulled the cabinetry out, I found $220 in cash. So I'm like, this is, it's a treasure trail. Did you actually?

Yeah, I did. I found $11, $20 notes. What, that it just slid down? The cabinetry, yeah, the cabinetry had a gap at the back, and someone just must have put cash on it, someone previous owner, and it slid down? The cabinetry, yeah, the cabinetry had a gap at the back and someone just must have put cash on it, someone previous owner, and it slid down the back. So $220, that's already paid off.

This has been worth it. But I've still got the mystery of this wall cavity. See, if I found $220 and then there's a wall cavity, I'd be like, what's this? Who am I? There is more in there. The little hole that I'm peering through, I can see that there's this gap in there,

but it's too small to fit a torch in and my eyeball. And I don't have one of those spy cameras that you can put through a hole. I've always wanted one of those. Me too. So I measure exactly how big the cabinet is that slides against it. And I put a pencil line in

and I cut a giant hole in the wall. Sade still doesn't know. And she's not listening. She asked me how I got in there but I haven't told you to the extent

of the hole in the wall behind the cabinet. And I cut a hole and I stick my head in. There's all my wires coming up to a power, like there's power sockets,

there's like another socket and it's been completely walled off. So that's why your speaker wasn't working. It wasn't working because I was plugging it in, plugging the TV into the receiver part. So anyway, I make a hole big enough. I actually have to use a chainsaw, but again, Shara doesn't know this, but just keep this amongst ourselves. I had to cut a large piece of wood so I could fit in.

Okay. And then I went into the hole and I realised that the chainsaw fumes couldn't get out anywhere. So it was quite, quite stuffy and I got a little bit of a headache. So I went back out and like waved a towel until the little came around. And I've got this 1 metre 20 like hidey hole. Is it like a chem.com panic room? Yeah, but it's really hard to get to. Like the thieves would break into your house and you'd be halfway through unscrewing the cabinetry being like, wait a minute, I'm getting tocom panic room. Yeah, but it's really hard to get to. Like the thieves would break into your house and you'd be halfway through unscrewing the cabinetry

being like, wait a minute, I'm getting to my panic room. And then ask them to put the cabinet back in. If on the other side we hung like a big mirror or something and we cut a hole behind the mirror and put the mirror on hinges, we could totally have a secret compartment. So what it is basically, it's come down to, unfortunately I can't tell you here, it's a marijuana grow room

or a meth lab. Meth lab, I'm glad it's not because that stuff contaminates your house. Yeah. Grow lab, neither here nor there.

I'd put some tomatoes in there and I'd get some actual tomatoes. But if it's, you've got a secret. I've got this 1 metre 20 weird empty space and it's like their old entertainment unit.

And someone was like, what do we do with that? I don't know, plaster over it. So it's been like a wall got put in front of it and it got plastered over. Because it was easier than dealing with it. Like everything in your life. Sometimes things are too hard to deal with, cover it over.

With a wall. Yeah. So there's like power plugs and everything in there. So I had to like crawl in there and I got the wires connected. End of the story. Mysterious cabin remains. Yeah. But with a large hole behind some cabinetry into it.

That your wife doesn't know about. And I'm still trying to convince Sade that we need a secret mirror door on the front of it for like, but the whole family would be very squeezy panic room. Yeah. We'd be all in there just like, shh.

And then I'd be like, and they'd be like, dad farted. I'd be like, no, shh. The thieves are outside be like, and they'd be like, dad farted. And I'd be like, no, shh. The leaves are outside. But I got my speakers working. Right.

But I found $220 cash. Good weekend. And I got to use a chainsaw inside on an interior wall. Isn't that everybody's dream? Yes, I hit a nail. And that was very scary because I thought the chainsaw chain was going to break and I was going to cut my arm off. And I was at home by myself.

And my phone was charging somewhere else, so. It could have been the end of you. I would have crawled to the air and called the ambulance and then bled out of my kitchen floor, which is tiles, luckily, so that's easy clean for the family. My dream is not to leave a mess

when I go out in a blaze of glory with a chainsaw wound. Bleach morning, Maggie. Megan. Maggie. Bleach morning. Maggie, Maggie. Maggie, Maggie.

Six minutes away from more Free Fuel, Free Fuel every 15 minutes on the show this morning. Prince Philip, Duke of Edinburgh, husband of Queen Elizabeth II. Everybody's favourite old racist. Yeah. We've talked about this. This was a fact of the day once, but there's a tribe in Vanuatu who worship him like a god.

I think that might be featured on The Crown. I think it is. Somebody mentioned that it featured on The Crown. I think it is. Somebody mentioned that it was on The Crown. I should realise how much of a D-bag he really is when you watch The Crown. I still have to watch the latest season. Oh, it's good. Is it still...

Who plays him in the latest season? The Matt... Is it still Matt Smith? Matt Smith, yeah. So they changed the queen, but they kept Matt Smith? No. Oh, that next one's not out. The first and second season is...

Claire Foy and Matt Smith. And then third season's not out yet, I don't think. That's the lady of Broadchurch and somebody else. Yeah. So anyway, he was in an accident. Still driving at the age of 97 years old.

98 years old this year. That's nuts. That accident, did you see the photos? It was insane, eh? It was like the car had flipped. Yeah, and it was his fault. And the woman luckily only broke her wrist, but he never apologised.

They haven't heard from him or anything. So, yeah, two people very badly injured. And Prince Philip then seen a day later driving a brand new Range Rover. Yeah, Range Rovers. A brand new Range Rover without a seatbelt on. Oh, my God. After he was, I think he injured his wrist or something. Yeah.

In the crash, they said that he was injured. And the car's like a write-off. Because that kind of accident would kill most old people. Yeah. I know. He's so lucky to be alive. Even just the fright. Yeah.

Just a loud bang. Yeah. And they're like guinea pigs, old people. Just startling them. just the fright. Yeah. Just a loud bang. Yeah. They're like guinea pigs, old people. Just startling them. A stiff breeze. Yeah. And they'll just be like, yeah, stiff breeze. They're like, ooh, it's cold. Dead. Yeah. Bang. Dead. 97 and still driving. That's nuts. I think it's...

And let alone for the fact this day after he was involved in a serious accident. But it got me thinking about old people, like unstoppable old people. Like my nana was in an accident. Once it wasn me thinking about old people, like unstoppable old people. Like my Nana was in an accident. Once it wasn't her fault, but she was like, next day she's like,

well, I need a new car. We're like, Nana, chill. Take some time. She's like, groceries aren't going to shop themselves. Get me a car. Because they couldn't at that stage. Now they do shop themselves.

But then she wouldn't have been able to log onto the computer anyway because she didn't have one. But she wanted a car the next day. She wanted to get back into it. And I wanted to talk about your unstoppable old people. Like when old people,

it doesn't have to be a driving accident. It can be anything. Oh, you see the old, some of the older people at the gym, the fitsbo. Yeah. You just like, they hurt themselves back the next day.

When I'm like 60 or 70, I'd be stoked. I mean, that's not old, but. Old people in hospitals drive me nuts going to see your grandparents and they're like, oh, I don't know why they're keeping me here. I'm ready to go. They're like tugging drips out of their arms.

You're like, just sit still for crying out loud. So we'd love to hear on 0800-DOLLS-NM or you can text 9696. This morning, your stories of unstoppable old people. Yeah, give us a call. We'll do free fuel in a couple of minutes' time. We're talking about your Unstoppable Old People. Prince Philip,

who we're still waiting for an apology for. Yeah. After he caused that accident. Oh, I was just spending years of racism. Oh, racism. Yeah, sure.

Cheating on the Queen. That too. Well, Megan's just been filling me in on season two of The Crown because I haven't watched The Crown because you both said it's really good

but it's a slow watch. You have to pay attention too. Yeah. Yeah, lots of deets. So, yeah, apparently he's a real piece of work in season two. So he was involved in an accident at the end of last week. Yeah. Cars, like, the photos are incredible.

It's amazing he even survived. I know. 97, I said before. Yeah, 98 this year. 98 this year. So we want to know your unstoppable old people. Some text messages. And my granddad went into the bush to cut up some firewood.

Now, this is a granddad I like because he's just gone into the bush and he's going to find some trees that are excess to requirement and cut them down for firewood. It was 34 degrees that day. He passed out on the back of the cab, the back of the ute. Yeah. Then when he came to, he drove himself home. Grandma said you should go and see someone.

He's like, well, no, I don't need to. It was just too hot, wasn't it? So grandma informed the rest of the family about a week later about granddad's little stint in the bush where he passed out for a few hours from heat exhaustion and then drove himself home. My mum, someone messages in, is still very independent. She goes to feed the old people in rest homes. She's 88, and she always comes home and tells stories

about the younger people than her in the rest homes that she helped feed. And even when she hurt herself, she wouldn't let that stop her. She still got herself to that rest home and fed the old people, as she calls them. My nana did that. She'd talk about helping out old people, but they were, like, younger than her. Vicky, who's the unstoppable old person in your life? My papa. Okay.

He's a really interesting person. He got an OBE since he was just cycling a wee while ago now. He's about 90 now, but up until he was about 86 or 87, he was still riding every day and racing every Saturday with the club. So he was in his Lycra doing his cycling? Yeah, yeah. Wow. He's got, like, one of those really, like,

hardcore cycling pants across his legs as well. Yeah. Oh, cyclist's pants, yeah. Yeah. Megan, how does that make you feel? Because, yeah, I can't imagine you riding a bike any more than... Do they shave his legs? Are they, like, whole shebang?

Yeah, yeah. He's got that, like, kind of, like, leathery skin now because he's, like, tanned every day. Yeah, it's like those marathon runners that run for, like, their whole lives and they just look like leather. You're like, is that a purse going for a run? When you see him, like, on a bike, you're like, oh, he's like part of it.

Like, he just looks so comfortable on it. It's so weird. Yeah, and then he, yeah. When most people his age are probably riding mobility scooters, he's out there on a bloody 26 speed. Thanks, Vicky. Somebody said, my gran at the age of 82. Oh, as that might be, they might be on the phone.

Carry on. They're not there? At 82, fell backwards down some stairs on a friend's yacht. Hit her head. Fractured the back of her skull. Doctor said you won't expect her to gain full function because of the damage. A year later, she's like, absolutely not.

I don't want to live with any of you. I'm back living alone and I'll be driving as well. I don't know about driving. Living alone, I'm like, good work, but driving. Somebody asked him, my granddad is convinced he was suffering a wee bout of indigestion. Okay. And Gran tricked him into going to the doctors.

So basically, granddad's become a dog that you have to trick him to go to the vet. Tell him you're going somewhere he wants to go, like the pub, and then drop him at the doctors. The doctor said, no, sir, you've had a double heart attack. Indigestion? He tried to just, he got admitted to a hospital. He tried to discharge himself. First time he got caught. Second time, he was very upset because he had a boys weekend

planned and he had a few surefire bets to place at the TAB. Granny's always got a surefire bet. There's something I do that upsets a certain person and I want you to make me feel better about this because it always happens to me.

I can't hold babies. You don't want to? Well, no, I don't want to. You always look so uncomfortable when someone hands you a baby. Or, here, hold this baby. More uncomfortable when... On par with you, different sort of uncomfortable. You've got absolutely no interest in it.

Fletch, you're just like, why? And Megan's is more like, I'm going to drop this. I'm going to do something wrong. Because I think I held my niece when she was really little years ago and she flicked her head back and I nearly dropped her on the ground. And I was like, I'm not doing that again. Oh, wait till you have your own kids. You drop them every couple of weeks.

If you drop your own, it's not as bad. They're yours. It's like breaking your own thing versus breaking somebody else's. Yeah, right. In fact, I think Indy would be the only baby I've ever held. Really? I don't even know if I held Indy. I've got a photo of you holding your niece.

That's right. Looking wildly uncomfortable. No, I don't like it. I don't like it. Did I even hold Indy? I don't know if I did. I don't know. It's only happened a couple of times.

I try not to if people ask. I'll just say, no, I'm fine from here at I did. I don't know. It's only happened a couple of times. I try not to if people ask. I'll just say, no, I'm fine from here at a distance. I can see it. So this is what I talk to you about this, Fletch. When you're around a baby and they're super cute, you're like, oh yeah, cute. Awesome for you, you've got a new baby. And they turn to you and say, do you want

to hold? I don't think Fletch even thinks awesome for you, you've got a new baby. I just think this looks difficult. Can you post on Facebook just so you're at the top and I can hide all future posts? I end up being in a group of girls who are really into it and they all want to hold. Kaylin's like, yeah, give

it to me, baby. But I'm like, I'll see it from afar. And I also have this amazing power to hold children and they cry. No, because babies smell fear. Is that what it is? They can read.

They pick up on your vibes. They're like dogs. Yeah. And camels. My friends had a baby recently. She's like four months old now. So I was like four months getting pretty like robust, like can hold its head up and stuff. So I was like, okay.

But out of warranty. Yeah. So I was like, she said, do you want to hold her now for the first time? And I was like, yeah, hit me. Okay. How do I do this? And I was like, not relax.

I was trying to shake it up. Cause I was like, they smell. Don't shake the baby. No, me. Oh, you're shaking yourself. Don't shake the Megan. Brain damage. I took a deep breath and I was like, she's not going to cry.

Like she was smiling and giggling, like happy as Larry, fed, not tired. Held her and I swear to God, not even 30 seconds and she was bawling her eyes out. What was wrong with me? Did you tense up? Nah, maybe. You closed yourself off. Yeah. You got to open it up.

And I like gave it a wee jiggle or something, like just not shake, just a wee like, are you all right, mate? Jiggle. Like a rocking it kind of thing. Yeah. Yeah, right. And it bawled its eyes out.

Yeah. There's no hope. I couldn't imagine you being a parent. Neither. Neither. That's pretty weird. That's probably why this hasn't happened yet because I'm like, whoa, this is weird.

What would happen? I don't know. It's different when it's your own. I don't particularly like holding other people's babies either. I never have. When it's your own, you're just like, you don't want to put them down. You're like, this is great. Even now, people are like, oh, do you want to hold

the baby? I'm like, I've done that. Also, can you tell me a nice reply to that when I don't want to? You could say, historically, I've dropped a couple. I've got to let you know, legally, historically, I've dropped a couple. I was going to say something like you could say you've got a sickness or something. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I've used that.

I've got a bit of a cold. Oh, no, I'm a bit sick. Yeah, that's a good one. But it doesn't last forever. If they're babies that you see often, you just can't always be sick. Sure you can. Yeah. Just constantly got to call.

Yeah, you know me. I'm always sick. My old sniffles McGay, they call me. Fletch. Vaughn. And Megan. The podcast. Them.

Fletch. Fletch. Vaughn. And Megan. Fletch. Fletch. Fletch. Fletch.

Fletch. Fletch. Fletch. Swipe, swipe, swipe, swipe me. Oh, it's the first Swipe Mez for 2019. Blow the dust off it. I'm surprised it's taken this long after summer break and New Year's. Maybe the wounds are a little fresh. Yep, true.

Not ready to laugh about it yet. Lucy, good morning. Good morning. Good, right. Now, so for those that are maybe new to Swipe Mears, we relive somebody's Swipe Mare on a dating app. So which dating app was this for you? Tinder. Yep. Normally is. Okay. And so what

happened? So I obviously swiped for it. I'm a really attractive guy. Yeah. On a really attractive guy. Yeah. And he looked really nice. And we chatted for a while, probably, I don't know, we chatted a lot for about three to four weeks. Wow.

That's a lot of time. You would know a lot about that person at the end of that then? Well, you'd think so, yeah. And then we decided to catch up for a drink. It was just, we sort of planned to do it a bit earlier, but it was just, like, schedules and things. Yeah. Okay.

And, yeah, we met up for a drink, which went really well. He was a really nice guy. He looked like his photos. Oh, that's bonus. Yeah. Okay. A little bit shorter than I imagined, but, you know, yeah. He's a good person.

Okay. All sounds pretty good up until this point. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So, I went home, and, you know, I was a different person. Okay. All sounds pretty good up until this point. Yeah. Yeah. So I went home and I was quite happy with how it all went. And the next day he messaged me and said that I had sort of passed his physical evaluation test. Wait a minute.

What? Wait a minute. He wasn't a police college, was he? No. No. Far from it. Did he tell you this test existed before you met up with him? No, obviously no.

Sorry, I wouldn't have gone. It was a surprise test. Yeah, okay. Okay. Yeah. So he said, and I thought it was a joke to start with because we'd sort of been talking for a while. There was a bit of banter and I thought it was a joke.

Yeah. But it wasn't. And he then propositioned me $500 to come and do adult visits with him. $100? $500. $500. Oh, I was going to say $100. Right.

See, Fletcher's happy to be a prostitute, but the dollar's got to be right. It's not an ethical dilemma. It's a financial one i don't understand because you you're going on all these states you probably if he wasn't he wouldn't have to pay for it eventually well we'll see from there i obviously once i realized he wasn't joking he said no yeah he tried to sell it a bit more and explain himself and justify it a bit more and said that he's really busy and he just sort of wants someone when he wants somebody. And he kind of, I can't swear, he kind of said that what

he's into is not what people are usually willing to do for free. And I didn't really get into the full details of that because I just sort of ran but do you think looking back though should there be like a time limit you put on chatting to someone because that's five four or five weeks of your life

that you've lost there I know right chatting to someone like do you think you should give it how did it not come up in five weeks of conversation yeah I think there's a flip side to that like I've got some friends on Tinder that like meet them straight away and you know yeah but then I think there's a flip side to that. Like, I've got some friends on Tinder that like,

meet them straight away and you know. Yeah. But then I sort of, on the other side of it, I'm like, I think I'd like to, although this sort of

proves me wrong, but I feel like I'd like to know someone a bit better before I go and meet them. Yeah. You know what I mean? So it's kind of, but then saying that,

I thought this guy was really lovely and he turned out to be looking for it. You thought he had a good grasp on his character. I really did. Lucy, thank you for sharing

our first Swipe Mirror for 2019. You're welcome. And if you would like to register your Swipe Mirror, maybe over summer or last year, sometime, it doesn't matter when, you had a Swipe Mirror, send us a message on our Facebook page,

FVMZM, and we can get you on for another edition of Swipe Me. ZM. Mosh Monday! But it is time for the first Mosh Monday for 2019. Now, this is, if you've never heard it, this is where we take your suggestions for a song that takes you back to your emotional teenage years.

Maybe you were heartbroken. Yeah. Or maybe it's just you just remember back and it just gets you right in the feels. Yeah. If you've got a song that would be great for Mosh Monday, send us a message on our Facebook page, FVMZM, or text us right now, 9696. Vaughan Smith, though, you're going to kick it off for 2019. Yes, thank you, Fletch.

This one got me in the feels last week, actually. My wife and I were playing a game at home where we have to get what? No, it wasn't sexual. Oh, okay. I shouldn't have known better. Come on. We were playing a game where you had to choose a song to get the other person going.

It was a bit of a mosh Monday. Not sexually, not sexually. That's what you guys do at home. I know, when the kids were away. So we had full control of all the multimedia. Like if we're at home and we're like, we'll listen to some music and we put something on. August walks in and she's like,

Alexa, play Moana on Spotify. And then it's gone. We lose control of that. What a horror. That sounds horrible. Can't say. Yeah, it's like, Alexa, play the greatest showman soundtrack. And Alexa's like, again?

Yes. Really? This is the 15th time today. Play Alexa. So we had full control. So we listened to songs from well before they were born. How would this game work? You'd choose a song to get the other one emotional.

Wait, wait, wait. Or singing. Right, okay. Yeah. My wife put on Living La Vida Loco by Ricky Martin. She knows that's my sing jam. And I sung into a banana and danced around the kitchen. I can't believe this is what you came up with when you two had like alone time.

You're like, I know all the jokes. I was just playing jams. But then it got to the point where we started playing songs to be like, oh my God. You were a couple of wines deep, weren't you? We were a couple of gin and tonics. Yeah, we were a couple of gin and teas down. So, you know, gin is very tantamount

to a few tears. But this song, though I was scrolling through it, I found this one and I was like, oh, oh. This is an old song. Yeah. It's an old song. A really old song, but it's an emotional one.

The reason this is specifically personally emotional to me, it was a TV show's theme song. Okay. And I watched the show with a girl that I liked. Yeah. And I was like,

after the show's finished, there's going to be some kissing. Line it up. This is the agenda. Two shows of this recorded off television. Two episodes. Fast forward the ads. Four minutes. Yep.

When it starts, click fast forward. Boom. Straight back into it on the VHS. So what? Your plan was to go around for a date, watch this TV show, and then kiss. Have some open mouth kissing. How did that go for you?

Wow, here's the sad part. I knew, I was like, well, it's getting close to 10 o'clock and I'm on my restricted license. I can't be driving unaccompanied after 10 o'clock. If there was open mouth kissing, I would totally go for law. I'd go for law. I'd go for law.

I'd break the law. If I broke the law, my mum and dad wouldn't have let me borrow the car again. Oh, yeah, okay. So then there'd be no more open mouth kissing. I was always having the investments in the future. If you can, you know, have a little bit of open mouth kissing now,

but get home in time for more open mouth kissing. You didn't say that to her. I'm coming round for open mouth kissing because that doesn't sound right. No, no, I never laid that out. I was just hoping it was going to take the course and happen. Anyway, it was 20 past nine and they said one more episode. I was like, oh, because I knew fast forwarding ads, that's like a 40 minute long show.

That's going to put me right at 10 o'clock. There's going to not be any time for Open Mouth Kissing. Meanwhile, she's like, if I play one more episode, there's no time for open mouth kissing. I've got a feeling he wants an open mouth kiss. Let's fill up the time until he has to get home. So there was no open mouth kissing.

Right. Either with that girl. Did you get to go? No. Oh, right. There was never any open mouth kissing. Most of my stories

end like this. I liked a girl. Yeah. It didn't happen. No open mouth kissing. What's your current love story? She't happen No open mouth kissing Even your current love story She's not into open mouth kissing Apparently I open my mouth

Too wide when I kiss Oh my god Like one of those fish You know Is it a John Dory That can open its mouth Like insanely A koi car

A groper Insanely Yeah Well I've been called that too But boys Boys with permission Never without So This song came out in 1996 It was And the TV show you were watching Well, I've been called that too, but always with permission. Never without.

So this song came out in 1996. And the TV show you were watching was Dawson's Creek. It was the theme song for all three, all six seasons. Okay. Apart from the Puerto Rican release, which was Run Like Mad, but I've never heard of that song. And I didn't watch it in Puerto Rico. So from Paula Cole, today's Mosh Monday.

I don't want to wait. The Dawson's Creek soundtrack. With no open mouth. Absolutely. All right, Free Fuel coming up. It's Vaughn's pick today for Mosh Monday. If you've got a song that means a lot to you from your emotional teenage years, text in 9696. You could be next week's Motion Monday.

Pacey was the redeeming feature of Dawson's Creek for me. And then he grew a goatee on the show. Do you remember when he had the goatee? That was an odd choice. Odd choice for a man with that face structure. He didn't need one. Beautiful face. Don't ruin it with a goatee.

You grow a goatee if you need to distract from, you know, a bit of a mess. That's why you grow a goatee. Why do you grow a beard? Why do I grow a beard? Oh, I've got a big mess. You're hiding a lot there. I've got a big spill.

I've got a big mess. I should have brought one of those little yellow signs. Careful mess. Some feedback. Hubby and I grooving in the car, reminiscing about the ridiculousness of the show. They did have a few good bad stuff happen to them. Yeah.

Yeah. And it wasn't his creak either. I don't think. It was kind of everybody. It was a general. Yeah. Yes. We'd like to talk now about tips for getting over breakups

because this is technically an international community notice. Okay. This was posted on Northumberland's Everything Must Go page. Okay. So by Georgia, she posts, I'm going to amend this so you'll know when I've amended the little bits. Is it? For the radio. Okay.

Xbox One comes with brand new Turtle Beach headphones and four games. Those are pretty good headphones. Are they? I've got some Turtle Beach. Okay. Are they like premium gaming headphones? Yeah, right. Right.

They were right. Just learnt my partner put his appendage in another girl. So selling his pride and joy, hence the price. First one to collect it can have it for three pounds. I would give it away, but need my money to buy myself a new kitchen knife as mine is currently sticking out of his tires. Smiley face. Wow.

So she was pregnant with their first child, and he apparently cheated on her. So she has put, and to be fair, she could sell that Xbox and the games and stuff for more and make some money, but she obviously wants to sell his pride and joy for only three pound. Yeah, that would give you a lot of, just make you feel better. Yeah. I mean, it's not going to undo everything.

It's not going to magically mean that the appendage never went there. But I guess some people find that as a way of dealing with a breakup. Knifing someone's tyres and selling their stuff. I've always wondered if you do that. Does the boyfriend ever call the police and would you get in trouble? Or do they just let it go? Like, I've done a bad thing. Have you ever tried

stabbing a tyre? I can't imagine it being pretty hard. Because aren't they reinforced? They've got like a... You stab it to the side. You just have to get it straight or it would just bounce off or you could end up cutting yourself. Yeah.

I'd end up injuring myself if I did that. I'd just be like, undo the little thing and then be like... Well, this is going to be mildly inconvenient. Do you know if you do that and then put a little stone in there? You know if you open it and put a little stone in there and then screw the cap on,

the stone does the hard work for you because the little cap pushes it down. And then you don't have to waste your time doing it. Well, if I ever need to be vindictive at a breakup, ever. Oh, you're welcome. Forget the tyres. I just put like milk in the gas tank or something. Well, that's the end of the car. That's not an inconvenience.

That's just actually ruining the entire car, isn't it? Don't cheat on me. Okay. Jeez, wow. But no, I would love to know though, your number one tips for getting over a breakup. Not necessarily vindictive tips. No. Not necessarily. Because I'd imagine like clearing out an ex's stuff is a good

start. Ritual burning. A ritual burning? Has anyone ever done that? I've wanted to, but it's not good for the environment. What, you were going to burn your ex-husband's stuff, but you decided... No, I was going to burn my wedding dress. I'm sure the penguins would understand. Yeah, like they're talking to each other. And one of them's like,

ice seems to be melting just a tiny fraction quicker. And they're like, wedding dress burning. He's like, say no more. Say no more, I understand. Say no more, I understand. Okay,'re like, wedding dress burning. He's like, say no more. Say no more, I understand. Say no more, I understand. Okay,

so let's take your calls. 0800 dials at him. You can text as well, 9696. What is a good way to get over a breakup? How have you done it in the past?

What worked? Was it a ritual burning? Was it something vindictive? Did you stab the tyres? Or maybe did you find, Is that difficult? Maybe you just found like a little holiday helped.

Yeah. Maybe you had a holiday booked for the two of you that difficult? Maybe you just found like a little holiday helped. Yeah. Maybe you had a holiday booked for the two of you. Or maybe after you smash in the tyres you're like, I better get out of this country. I move towns, yeah, move countries. 0800 966. How did you get over an ex? Talking about tips to getting over a

breakup, a woman has sold her boyfriend's Xbox and games and stuff for £3 and she said she just wanted to humiliate him. Just enough money to buy a knife. Because she used the other knife to puncture his tires. Stab his tires. She was pregnant, right? With their first kid.

She was pregnant, yeah. Want to know how you've moved on and got over an ex? It doesn't need to be something vindictive. Maybe it was just something, I don't know. Eat, pray, love. Eat, pray, love. Eat, pray, love-ish, yeah. Sure. Some text messages in.

I decided to have a quiet burning of my wedding dress in the backyard. Just a quiet one. There were lots of tears involved. So that's exactly what you, what did you do

with your old dress? I remember PJ. PJ took it and no one knows where it is. No one knows where that is. She took it to Vegas. Yeah. Yeah.

I'd imagine it's somewhere in Vegas. Or like in a save mart or something. It's one of those ones people try on for a joke they probably put it on and they're like well it's not too bad what you said try on for a joke well no you know when you go to save money you're trying a wedding dress as a joke pretty no i know that's why they're saying they put it on they're like that's not too bad oh right have you never put on a wedding dress in Save Mart I have had to find one with wide

shoulders though yeah yeah broad shoulders that was a part feels good to squeeze into a wedding dress you're like

I could do this okay so they're having a quiet burning in their backyard and my cousin that lives a few houses down

thought I was just burning some rubbish so bought down a few bags of stuff that could burn you're burning some rubbish chuck on some warehouse a few bags of stuff that could burn. You're burning some rubbish. Chuck on some warehouse mailers. Yeah, yeah.

Get in there. Some scraps. Vicky, how did you get over an ex? I went to Europe with three of my girlfriends and then had an amazing time and came back and when it would have been our one year wedding anniversary, I burnt all the shit

that he left in the house and had a bit of a cake smash and gifts that we got that had our names on it, and it was amazing. Wow, okay. You got married, and then before one year, you broke up? Yeah, it was nine months. Wow. And so how long did it take you to get to Europe? Were you just like, I'm going next week?

Oh, I think it was a couple of months after. I was going to say, you've got some pretty wealthy mates. You're going to be like, Europe? And they're all like, yes. Nice. All right. Thanks for your call, Vicky. Anonymous, good morning.

Good morning. How did you get over an ex? I put all his clothes in the clothing bin. Oh, fair enough. Oh, that's inconvenient. That's inconvenient, but also give him to charity. Yeah, exactly. But it wasn't one of those breakouts where you're like, two days later, you're like,

okay, let's get back together. Yeah, I might have overreacted. No, no, it was well over. Well over. Right. He left five hours away, so he couldn't come down because he had no clothes here. Can't go five hours naked, can you, in a car? And did he want them back?

He did Because it was all The label clothing Oh yeah You only put the good stuff In there Meanwhile there's people In Save Mart

Trying on wedding dresses That are finding some Nice labelled clothing Yeah Yeah exactly I know it was not anywhere After the wedding I'm going to take

The wedding dress And all these labels Yeah Nice Thanks you call anonymous Some other text messages in. I moved to New York for six months.

That's just... Lots of people doing the travelling thing. Someone said, I'd always wanted to go to Scotland, so I went to Scotland just to make sure

I don't run into the shops. That'll happen. No, but if you live in a small town or live in the same area, you run into your ex at the supermarket.

Yeah. That'd be horrible. Yeah, yeah, for sure. Somebody else said, I'm American. I'm actually in New Zealand because this happened. I found out I was being cheated on, so I said I'm going to travel and I went to New Zealand on a six-month working visa. I met my husband here and the rest is history.

Aww. So it's meant to be. Oh, my God. Cute. You're mean, Kim. All right, fact of the day is next, So it's meant to be. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. All right. Fact of the day is next.

And we've got free fuel every 15 minutes. The activated just a couple of minutes away. It's time for Fact of the Day. Day. Day. Day. Day. Today's fact of the day is about Thai food How many authentically Thai people do you know from Thailand? One

Is it my wife? Yeah, and her dad And her dad Two And her brother Three Oh yeah, three Three And my wife? Yeah. And her dad. And her dad. Two. And her brother. Three. Oh, yeah, three. Three.

And my kids? Quarter. Four. Five. What about the people at my local Thai takeaway store? I don't know them on full first name. So have you ever wondered why there are so many more Thai restaurants than Thai people you know? I mean, you probably don't move in the Thai circles. Because people who aren't Thai started Thai restaurants than Thai people you know. I mean, you probably don't move in the Thai circles.

Because people who aren't Thai start a Thai restaurant. The ratio of Thai restaurants to Thai people. Is out of whack. It's well out of whack, right? Is it? I don't know. I've never thought about it. It is a tactic known as gastro-diplomacy. The government of Thailand took it upon themselves to actually do this

and get Thai cuisine out into the world for two reasons. So people would come to Thailand if they were like culinary travellers. Okay. And you can't fault them on that, having recently been Thailand food. Oh, it's so good. Mmm. There it is. Oh, it's so good. That's what I was lacking. I wasn't doing the mwah with it.

I was like, it sounded like I was just kissing. But you go, mwah. It's so good. It's so good. So in 2001, the Thai government established a company called the Global Thai Restaurant Company.

Yeah. And they wanted to establish 3,000 Thai restaurants worldwide. Because this is the point. And before 2001, had you even heard of Thai food? Like, when did you first have Thai? I definitely would have had it by, oh, maybe not. I don't know.

But I grew up when I was old enough then to go to BYOs, wasn't I? And I just thought when I lived at home, my parents weren't very adventurous. Super bland. Yeah. But there wasn't like Thai, there wasn't as many Mexican restaurants. You could say the same about sushi though as well. Yeah. Well, the Norwegians actually, that's an entirely different story.

The Norwegians actually had nothing to do with sushi. In Europe, how big sushi was, even for dinner and stuff. In a lot of places. I was like, this is weird. The Norwegians were the ones that convinced the Japanese to take that to the world. So this is like how the Russians implanted spies in America, but it's Thai people. Putting pad thai in your mouth.

This is a great kind of cashew chicken or a whole fried snapper. All of the best Thai food. So yeah, they sent 3,000 Thai chefs around the world, and a lot of them had been given money by the Thai government to reestablish themselves in these countries and set up restaurants. Did we know this? Or was this a covert operation? I don't believe it was a covert operation, but it's also like nobody considered it too big a deal.

Yeah. It's not like they were coming here, like you say, with the Russian spies to be insurgents and destabilise the government. They were just like, you guys like noodles? Do you like delicious money bags? Like chicken in it? You a big fan of money bags? We're like, what are money bags?

Let me show you. And we're like, okay, keep making those. Keep those things coming. So they exported Thai chefs all around the world and got them set up. And then when it started doing well and Thai food started selling well, more people went from Thailand to different. Have we thought about this as a tourism strategy? For us?

Yeah. What are we going to do though? Do you want to have some potatoes? Potatoes and carrots. Yeah. And snitchel. Some snitchel. The Germans have got that one covered.

Oh, yeah, true. Germans have got that covered. But now that I've been thinking about it, I'm wondering if their next step is the massage. Because everywhere's got little Thai massage places popping up. Now when you see a Thai massage place or a food shop, it's the government. Well, the food, we can confirm that the worldwide spread of Thai food

to be, you know, your go-to takeaway, it was definitely an initiative of the Thai government. But I'm wondering now if the massages are the same. Yeah. Get people out there massaging. Because when we're in Thailand, we've got a lot of massages. Very. Oh, you have to.

They're so cheap. Cost efficient. Do you feel bad, though, when you're giving them, we get a lot of massages. Very. You have to. They're so cheap. Cost efficient. Do you feel bad, though, when you're giving them all that money and it's not much? And they've been there an hour? Yeah, rubbing your grubby feet. I always tipped as well. Okay. Very much like that.

That was a big sawadee ka for that one. And I said, no, no, no, sawadee krab. Isn't it kap kong ka? Or is that hello? Kap kong ka is hello. Oh, apologies. Kap kong krab. It's me, if you're a male. Yeah. Sawadee Krub. Isn't it Kapkung Kar? Or is that hello? Kapkung Kar is hello. Oh, apologies. Kapkung Krub. It's me, if you're a male.

Yeah. Sawadee Krub. Right. So it was a big Sawadee Krub from me to you. And I'll give you a little tip as well. But now I can't help but think, everybody over there, like we were getting a massage once and there was only one person massaging and then she's like, give me two minutes.

Got on the blower. Yeah. And she's like, I'll be here in five. And then this just scooter gang of people turned up and they came in and they all knew how to massage. And just, I don't know if it's-

Who called them in on their off day? Well, I don't know if it was an off day or they were just coming in a little bit earlier, but it was- Oh, okay. It was a soba de crub for coming in early and then soba de crub for the foot rub. Right.

I got actually the whole body that day. Here's one thing for, I can't, I said to them, I asked during one of the massages, because when you get a full body, you know in New Zealand, if you get a massage, there's the hole for your face to sit in. Yeah.

And it keeps the spine flat and it's very comfortable to stick your face in there and you can kind of relax. They don't have that there. It's just a flat mattress. Oh, okay. So you've just got to smush. You've got to make a choice. Are you going to smush your face into the mattress?

Yeah. And you're going to be like this. There's your nostrils yeah or are you going to tilt your head to one side but then after a little while you've got to move

and if they've been working on your neck I mean it's a first world problem if ever I've had one I'm entirely on getting a cheap massage and my neck's slightly discomfort

did you say to them you guys should try a hole in the table I said have you ever thought about putting a hole in the mattress did that blow their have you ever thought about putting a hole in the mattress? Did that blow their mind? I think there was something lost in translation.

Shalane's like, keep explaining it. I was like, I don't know how else to explain it. She's like, tell them it was for your face. I was like, oh, the hole in the mattress. This woman's like recoiling. I'm like, for your face. And then she's like, my face? I was like, for your face. And then she's like, my face? I was like, not your face.

My face. She's like another bloody tourist. Yeah. God, these bloody creeps come in with their kids and wives these days. It's disgusting. So today's fact of the day is Thai restaurants around the world well out of whack with Thai residents in your country because of a Thai government initiative.

Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. Ariana Grande, Seven Rings. Banger Been accused by a few people Of copying Including who did you just say?

What's the sound of music? Is there a few That have no favorite But that's It sampled that song right? Yeah It sampled that song Hold on I've got that

Julie Andrews Shush Julie Just sing Green meadows Shhh Drops on roses And whiskers on kittens Yeah she's getting stuck in me and I'm feeling unhappy. Oh, Julie Andrews. Shush, Julie. It just sang. Green meadows. Shh. Drops on roses and whiskers on kittens. Here she's getting stuck in.

Like copper kettles and warm woolen mittens. Oh, yeah, it's the same bloody beat. Packages tied up with strings. These are a few of my favourite things. My hair,

I got it. These kids, I stole them. The Nazis, they're coming. Von Trapp, I'm loving. We're running. We're running., I'm loving. We're running.

We're running. They're gunning. We're running. We're in to Poland. Oh, no. Keep running. We're singing and dancing. We should just be running.

The Nazis, they're coming. Let's keep on just running. God damn it. Julie Andrews, we gotta keep running. Okay. You can see how it could have worked. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Moving on, producer Caitlin,

you spent a bit of time in hospital at the weekend. Not, yes. Not you. You were physically there. I was there with Megan's best friend, Ali. You could say our friend. Our friend. My flatmate. What are you talking into?

Oh, I need to turn the mics off. Is that better? Yeah. Sorry. James is away. Really, it's been a big morning, guys. Is this better? Hello. Yeah, that's really good. So, where we at? Actually, you're too loud. Bring yourself down. Oh, my God. Oh, yeah. No, that's really heavy. Could you

just give us a one-two? One-two? Two-two. One-two. One-two. Oh my God. Oh yeah, no, that's really heavy. Could you just give us a one two? One two. One two, two, two. One two, one two, two,

two, two, two, one, two, one. You don't need to go out there. Hey,

don't mansplain it. Two, two, one, two. How's that level? Two, two,

one, two. Bring it down a little bit. Two, two, down, two, two,

two, two. Yeah, that's good. Check, check, check. Two, two, two. She definitely needed you to's good. I don't talk as loud as him. Jack, Jack, Jack. Two, two, two.

She definitely needed you to help her. That's for sure. She needed that, yeah. So we went out for dinner on Friday night. We won't name the restaurant, Megan. I think you should name the restaurant. No. I felt so sorry for that poor girl, the waitress.

I know Pippa Wetzel. Okay. What's this got to do with the fries and fish? She works for Fair Goat. I feel so sorry for that poor girl, the waitress. I know Pippa Wetzel. Okay. What's this got to do with the front fish? She works for Fairgo. Oh, that's right. I know Hayden Jones. Let's get them onto it. He works for Fairgo, yeah.

P.S. I don't know Pippa Wetzel. Oh. Is that okay? Megan, you tell the story because I feel, and then I'll tell the aftermath. No, I'm not going to name the place. We went out for dinner, and it was like Asian fusion, I'm not going to name the place. We went out for dinner and it was like Asian fusion,

I guess you'd call it. Okay. That could be any of 10,000 restaurants, isn't it? Everyone's on the Asian fusion bus. Yeah, and they started, the waitress came over and said, is there any allergies at this table?

Behave. Is there any allergies at this table? Myave. Is there any allergies at this table? My best friend Alex, she is allergic to shellfish.

She's got an EpiPen. She's got an EpiPen. Yeah, so we explain this to the waitress. Like throat

closing over, face swelling up kind of allergic. You don't want that on you. Needs to be rushed to hospital. You don't need

that on your watch. She puts in capitals on the docket. Shellfish allergyergy. Capitals, right at the top. Now, is that different than Seafood Allergy?

I don't know. It's a more specific thing, isn't it? I think she can eat fish. Yeah, but not shellfish. But not anything shellfish related. Huh, okay. So she orders, because she's like, not a big eater either,

and she doesn't like anything too fancy. That's great, because we always, whenever we go out for dinner, I just order a little bit, and then I eat the rest of hers. She ate hers. That's great because we always whenever we go out for dinner, I just order a little bit and then I eat the rest of hers. That's what you do when you have kids. That's what you do when you have kids. So, keeping in mind she's allergic to shelfers, she orders

fried chicken, a little side of fried chicken, a side of rice and a side of satay sauce. And she's like, I'm going to mix them all together when I get them. It comes out and we're eating away and we'd order like a side of satay as well. And when someone at our table had said, does anyone else think that the satay sauce tastes a bit fishy?

And I tasted it and I was like, it does have essence of fish, yes. That's what you buy in the supermarket, essence of fish. It's right beside vanilla essence. Yeah. Fish essence. Because when you're doing a stir fry, you use a bit of fish sauce. Oh, that's essential in Thai, fish sauce.

Yeah. So Ellie had already started eating a satay sauce and abruptly stopped. We called over the waitress and we're like, keeping in mind the shellfish allergy we stated earlier, is there anything shellfish related we stated earlier is there anything fish shellfish related in the satay sauce? She goes and asks the

chef in the kitchen and sure enough it's made with like some kind of oyster sauce or some kind of fish related product Wow, okay. And Ellie has eaten it. What happened? We sat there for a while, We kept checking up on her,

but by the time we left the restaurant, her top lip starts going numb and tingly, and she gets like Kylie Jenner. Like, she goes from... What, billion dollars? No, she goes from like, what, 2009 Kylie Jenner to 2016 Kylie Jenner in two seconds.

Oh, so her face just goes... Just the lips, but without the business empire. Yeah. Arguably, I'd want the other part. Yeah, same. Yeah, but they were very apologetic, but also could have killed my friend. What did they give her? Well, they said you want anything else, and not surprisingly, she didn't want anything.

She's too nice. Some ice. Yeah. And then she just didn't have to pay for a meal. They did give her her food for free. Right. I love that. I mean, it could be your final meal.

It could kill you. When did she end up in hospital? So then we were going to go home, and I was like, look, we're going past the North Shore Hospital. Let's just pop in. For like five, I thought it was going to be five minutes. I was like, we'll just pop in. Oh, you've never been to a waiting room at a public hospital.

Good God. Yeah, no, we got home, we went in at like 8.39 and we got home at 1 a.m. But great people watching at that time. Oh, yeah. Great people watching. So what happened? Did she get worse? Yes, she did.

So her face started puffing up as well. And when we went there, they like straight away, they're so good because anything with allergies, they're like, we need to get this sorted. Took her blood pressure and all of that and then gave her some antihistamines and then a steroid pill, which then started making her feel really drowsy. I'd had half a bottle of wine, so I was quite drowsy myself. And then we, typical Friday night. And then we, yeah, just had like a nice little nap on the couch while we waited for the doctor.

Because you've got to see everyone. And then the doctor was like, oh, here's a prescription. Have a good time. It's so crazy that your whole face swells up and your throat closes because you ate a bit of sauce. But it's great because she takes selfies.

It's not the first time it's happened and she takes great selfies. So before she gets like really bad, she gets in a few selfies with me. She's got like the Goldilocks zone of when the lips are plump but she's not yet passed out.

Oh, it does look so, it really suits her. I almost want to say like, it's yeah of when the lips are plump but she's not yet passed out. Oh, it does look so, it really suits her. I almost want to say like. It's, yeah, when her lips swell up but before it's gone up her face. Right. Yeah. Could she just get like a tour to a lip balm? Maybe.

Yeah, maybe. Or a muscle, a muscle gloss. If you're going out for like a nice ball or something, maybe a black tie dinner event, you can have a scholar. And just have the EpiPen ready. Don't swallow, yeah. Big congratulations to Bowdoin Barrett and Hannah Leighty. Sorry, they got married at the weekend.

Photos have come out and it's in Women's Day. So they must print this on a Sunday, the magazine. Yeah. Well, they've got to get the jump because they've got the exclusive, you know. But they got married on Saturday. You know, photos are digital now. Yeah, I know, but I just imagine that must be full on. Yeah.

Would have been a rush. Would they have to run those photos past Hannah and Bowdoin? Because, you know, you never put a photo of a lady online without running it past her. Fletch, remember that time of that breakfast thing? You put up the photo and you looked all right, but everybody else had their eyes half closed and a hunchback. Oh my God, I'm still hearing about that. I don't think you do get to check.

And they interview you beforehand and then they interview you on the day as well. And then they just quickly type it up and stuff. They would have had all the details prior. Easy. How many chingos? How much would you get paid? Lots.

Is it all black? How much? you get paid? Lots. Is it all black? How much? Top dollar. I don't know. Then I don't need to buy it, woman's day, because it's here online. I can see it. The photo of the magazine cover. I mean, they haven't...

No, but you can't see inside. You've only got one picture on there. You've got to buy it. It's the official wedding album. What one is it? Woman's day? Yeah, woman's day. I don't know which one my mum gets, but my mum buys woman's Day and my nan buys Woman's Weekly and then they have a swap.

So I always hear about something like a week later. My friend of the show, Renee Wright, was on the cover over the summer holidays and dad said, I've just read Renee's article. Of course he did. She looked lovely. Big crush there. He's very respectful and his crush though. I thought that came out a couple of weeks ago.

And he's like, oh, no, this one, Nan bought this one, so she just bought it over for mum. Mum gave her the one she had. They've done it for as long as I can remember. Really? Yep. There used to be,

because there used to be more women's magazines in the market, didn't there? Right. There was a new idea, which is still around, I think, but maybe not as popular, and one other one,

Australian Women's Weekly. So they used to buy two each and then do the two swap. Well, they whittled it down to one each. For only $4. That's a lot, though, over a lifetime. Yeah, I guess. For as long as you can remember.

Yeah. As long as I can remember. That's nuts. Oh, I was going to give you more details. Okay. Oh, yeah, yeah. Okay. So they got married on Rikino, which I love how they've said it charges close to $50,000

for large weddings. But like, isn't that, that's an average price of a wedding anyway. And plus he's an all black. Like he's okay with that price tag. But that's not catering. Is it catering? Oh no, I don't know. You've got to get the catering for the island too.

Is that just base fare? Oh good lord. I think that's just venue. Wow. Okay. Next level. Yeah, well she looks beautiful. Congratulations to the both

and like I said, in Women's Day. Are you upset, Caitlin, that he's off the market officially now? Because remember when you texted him? Yeah, I did text him

like four times. Did he know that you had his number? No. Well, I got given it because we were going to do an interview with him. And then you just

kept messaging him. And you saved it. Well, I messaged him and said congratulations on the score because he did a messaging him. And you saved it. I messaged him and said congratulations on the score. Not on the wedding. Not on the wedding. When he had that real good game where he got heaps of tries.

I got a little bit tipsy because I was trying to get an interview for you guys. Every time Caitlin gets tipsy, she's like, shall I text Bowden Barrett? No! No! No!