ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Megan Podcast - January 21 2020

Episode Date: January 20, 2020

This Is Why I'm Fat, Slide Into The DMs and when did your friends become family?See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

ZM. Hit music. Live the air. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. Thanks, Ash. Good morning. Welcome to the show. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. Good morning. Good morning. Fletch and I are filled with renewed hope. Yeah, well, we've just been... Vaughan's still being a dick about it. I just don't think she should go back. The SAG Awards,

there was a reunion with Jen and Brad. He watched her accept her award backstage. They ran into each other. There's photos of them like she's touching his chest. She's like going to walk away

and he's like holding her hand being like, hold on, I'm not done talking to you. Real like, yeah, if you haven't seen the photos, broke the internet last night,

like last night, overnight. Yeah. Oh, Megan and I have photos, broke the internet last night. Late last night, overnight. Yeah. Oh. Megan and I have always been... There's still something there. Megan and I have always been Team Jen. Even when Angelina swooped in and stole them away and you were Team Ange. He happily went with. I know.

I just thought they'd made a decision and there was no point dwelling on the past. It was with Angelina Jolie. You were Team Ange. It was with Angelina Jolie and I said, let them be together. You were team Ang. And you were all like, but then why does she want him back now? He's a scoundrel. He's an apple-eating scoundrel.

He's a what? He's always eating an apple in his movies. He's an apple-eating scoundrel. That was a fancy word I didn't know. Apple-eating. Apple-eating. Like appellation. No, apple-eating.

Scoundrelrel We can only Hope And wait Because Justin Thoreau Is out of the picture now too Well he's the Prime Minister of Canada He's got stuff to do

What's his name Justin someone else Yeah I don't know Trudeau Trudeau yeah Yeah there you go Thoreau Trudeau yeah Close enough

Very close Very close. Very close. All right, you lot, listen up. It's story time. All right, story time. Three news headlines. Interesting, unusual, quirky news headlines and stories that are found online.

And Vaughan and Megan must pick one of the following three headlines. Headline one, man finds needle in a haystack. Headline two, Texas radio station denied personalised plate. Just like, much like we were last week. Yeah. With our personalised plate.

And headline three, men make giant sandwich. Oh. Those are your headlines. I kind of want to know what personalised plate they were after. I kind of want to know about the sandwich. Follow up on us. We inquired about the personalised plate.

Bumhole in both forms. B-M-hole and B-M-H-0-L-E. Yep. Both were available for $9.99, but we're denied at the NZQA? No, that's the exams. NZTA. At the NZTA of the thing.

Yeah, there's someone at the NZTA that has to approve all the plates. What a fun job. Yeah. Sitting there trying to work out if someone's trying to get one over you. I know, because you'd think everyone was trying to get one past you. Yeah, yeah. Didn't they reply being like, yeah, I'm all for a joke, but we can't approve. Oh, yeah, no.

That was the Kiwi Plates people. They said, yeah, no. Not happening. Ha ha. But it was brought to my attention. Somebody did say I'd have to pick up my kids from school in that car. Yeah. With bum holes in them.

Well, BM hole. BM hole. Yeah, what else are you going to say? Your name was Brian Hole? Brian Mark Hole. Yeah, what else are you going to say? You said your name was Brian hole. Brian Mark hole. You know, Brian. Yeah, Brian Mark hole. Yeah.

Okay, well, which. Boom hole for. Which story do you want? I'm in the phone book under boom hole. Do you want Man Finds Needle in a Hay Sack, the Texas radio station or. Texas radio station. You want that one? All right.

We go now to Texas now where a station manager applied for a personalized plate for their radio station. Now, this radio station has been in Gainesville since 1947. Okay. And its call sign letters are KGAF. KGAF. Can't give a F. Is that the idea? Well, yeah, basically.

And that's why they were turned down for a personalized plate. But that's K-G-A-F. I know. It's not how you spell it. No, I know. But that was what I would imagine would be the closest problem with it, right? Yeah. So he was a bit...

Mythed. Mythed as to why the plate was denied until he mentioned to his kids, maybe at the dinner table, that Dad was denied a personalised plate and that's when he was informed that the letters GAF are slang for give a F. Give a F.

Yeah. So he doesn't like it. And so they've, well, I guess, made this public in the hope that they can get their personalised plate but at this stage it's been denied because of the

GAF. Right. Yeah. That's the problem. Despite being a business and a radio station since like the 40s. Right.

47. Well it's like Florida's Bumhole FM. They couldn't get a they couldn't get another plate either. No. Much like us. Yeah.

He tries he will. Tries, yeah. He tries, he might. Flesh, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. ZM. Okay, this story involves a bit of poo. Form warning.

It's a bizarre story. I read this last night. It's a bizarre story. Yeah, I can't kind of grasp what's happening. Okay. So, this is happening. Okay. So this is happening in Wellington, Les Mills. A woman is being accused of pooing on the floor. That's quite an accusation.

I would have never had to do that. And the people accusing her are using her Crohn's disease as evidence of it. Now, she's being kicked out of Les Mills after leaving poo on the floor. Now, but she previously, she had an agreement with the gym that meant every time she went to the bathroom, she had to clean up after herself. But that meant giving the toilet a scrub from what I can understand. Right. Which is fair enough.

After a cleaner had to remove matter from the bathroom floor, her membership was terminated because she had not followed the agreement. But she's saying I'm being used as a scapegoat. That wasn't me. Yeah, this is the latest chapter in her ongoing feud with the gym. So did she go to the media? I believe so. Saying I've been scapegoated for someone who did poop on the floor.

It wasn't me. Complaints, however, have been previously made about the noises that she would make in the toilets and her use of the showers. Now, I'm not sure what about the use of the shower. Is it a length issue? Oh, okay. Right. The whole thing. But what kind of noise?

Is that like, I don't know what happens when you have Crohn's disease? It's kind of an inflammatory bowel situation. Yeah, it's a digestive tract issue. Right. So it's not something that's noise. No, that doesn't mean you just shit on the floor, though. That's certainly not the case. What a bizarre story.

Yeah. But how do other people at the gym know that she has Crohn's disease? From what I can gather, previously, someone would have been like, something's going down in the bathroom. Right. There's some noises coming from there. Inquiries were made. Right.

She said, I've got Crohn's disease. Right. That's why. Leave me alone kind of thing. Yeah, yeah, made. Right. She said, I've got Crohn's disease. Right. That's why. Leave me alone kind of thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Right. Give me space. Well, that's,

like, we should, that's a bit unfortunate. Like, if that's for real, then you give her a bit of. Well, then who pooed on the floor? I don't know.

What's going on? Is it someone framing her because they want her out? Or no, or someone just had an accident and left? Left and then she's got the blame. If you had an accident in a public toilet, would you just leave? No, I would absolutely clean it up. I'd be in there forever.

Yeah, I'd be in there for hours and clean it. Yeah. But then I guess some people might just freak out and be like, I'm out of here. Also, some people don't have, like, the toilets here at work. I could never walk away from them leaving them a mess because I'd be worried that the next person that came in would see me leaving and be like, what have you done? But people do. People just walk away from leaving an absolute shambles. Yeah. But she's saying, no, it's not her.

What a bizarre story. Yeah. But then to come out that strong no, it's not her. What a bizarre story. Yeah. But then to come out that strong and say it's not you, like if it was you, wouldn't you just quietly sink into the shadows? I don't think you'd defend yourself publicly. No. But then you'd have to get banned.

Yeah. That's pretty full on, eh? Yeah, really, really full on. Interesting. What a weird story. I know. Sometimes I always shake my head at the news stories I see on New Zealand news sites. I'm like, oh come on, the world's going to see this.

I'm going to think we can't use the toilet properly. Well, somebody can't. Well, obviously. Somebody's failed to use the bathroom correctly. But we don't need the whole world knowing that. Right. We're meant to be, you know.

They should make these stories only accessible from IP addresses within New Zealand. Yeah, so news media overseas can't run stories. Like a private gram account. If they overseas click on it, they can't see. From the ZM think tank, this is the top six. Hello there. A National Party headquarters burglarised in Auckland. Laptops stolen.

Laptops amongst the stolen. Hmm. What was on those laptops? Oh, I've got the top six things that were on those laptops, but outside of that, there could have been a whole lot of stuff. Lots of secrets, emails, et cetera. Some JPEGs maybe. Yeah, but the top six things on that National Party laptop that was stolen are number six,

a folder of the latest and greatest computer games. Got a list here. Apparently Solitaire was on there. That one's exciting. That one's a card game that you don't need friends to play. Handy for some of their MPs. Chess, that's a goodie. Yeah.

Get you thinking in a smart way. Backgammon. Ooh, stop it. Backgammon, exciting. And Minesweeper. They've got all the cool games at the National Party office. All the coolest computer games. Hey, do you kids want to play some computer games? I've got Minesweeper over here.

You've got to click on the things and see whereabouts the mines are. One means it's only touching one. Oh, no, you've picked the wrong one to start with. Game over. Number five on the list of the top six things on the stolen National Party laptops, Paula Bennett's before and after photos. Oh, okay, yeah. Did I tell you I saw her in person?

No. You know, at the start of our holidays, I was messaging you, re-couches. Yes. So we're getting a new couch. You were. I was in a couch store. Yeah.

I don't remember which one I was in. And I was sat on a couch and she walked in. Well, she walked straight past me. She was chewing gum. Yep. Look, very matter of fact. Okay. Bailed them up about where her couch was.

Oh, really? Like there'd been a late delivery or I hadn't. Oh, okay. She just decided maybe she was in the area and she was coming in to do it. And then she said quite loudly her phone number. Oh, okay. Did you take note of that? Yeah.

I only remember the first three. So there's only a thousand possibilities. 021 or 027. No, no, no. The first three of the, after the 021. Oh, okay. What was that, 021? She on a Vodafone.

It's 021. Interesting. She might be on Spark, but she was on Vodafone. Yeah, she might have jumped over. She might have taken her number with her. You never know these days. Yeah, she came in. Oh my gosh, she's an absolute shadow of her former self.

Oh, yeah, She's tiny now. Yeah. It's crazy. I believe she was driving a Peugeot when she left. Really? Hmm. Okay. I would have thought she would have been in the Holden.

Or the West Auckland. Or I wouldn't have thought of her as a Peugeot. Oh, okay. She's got to connect with her West Auckland roots. Yeah. Yeah. Right. What kind of couch was she buying?

Was it a leopard print? No, I didn't see. There was no mention of the couch. Okay. It might have been for her office. Oh, yeah, maybe. Give her some credit. I don't think she'd get a leopard print.

But she was doing that chew, that, you know, that real matter of fact. Yep. That chewing gum. Well, she's waiting for her couch. She was surprised. She was chewing her frustration. Yeah, right. Anyway, sorry.

In the wild. Sorry was chewing her frustration. Yeah, right. Anyway, sorry. In the wild. Sorry, in the wild. Number four on the list of the top six things on the National Party laptops that were stolen are Maggie Barry's secret to blooming roses. Spoiler alert. It's dead bodies. She buries them under her roses.

Political adversaries make great rose fertilizer. Yes. Whatever happened to Jerry Brownlee? I think he's still alive. Is he? Or is he under Maggie Barry's roses? You're right. I haven't seen him for a while.

He's been blood and bone. She takes no prisoners. Number three on the list of the top six things on these stolen National Party laptops. A tab open on Simon Bridges' LinkedIn account looking for suitable jobs after 2020.

Yeah, just be getting back into law I'd imagine. Yeah. Number two on the list of the top six things on the stolen National Party laptop

are all of Max Key's Instagram photos that have got John Key in them downloaded and cropped so only John's left and saved in a folder called recipes. That's some hot National Party porn right there.

Isn't it? Yeah. The chosen one. Yeah. And number one, speaking of porn, on the top six things on the National Party laptops that were stolen, minimise tabs with porn on them that someone thought they'd shut down, but they just minimised them.

And they're like, what? But then the person that interrupted them was also like, cabs here. So the person had to leave their laptop. Right. Shut down. So when the thieves open them, porn's going to start playing. Oh, no.

Snap. That is today's Top Socks. All right, Megan, you've got the latest. Vodafone have said that staff can have Friday off through summer through to the end of February. The calendar month of February, the three months. Yep. That is summer.

They've said you can have from 2 p.m. off. All the stuff that are left. Till the end of Friday. Yeah. And it reads that. Everyone. That is summer. I've said you can have from 2 p.m. off. All the stuff that are left till the end of Friday. Yeah. And it reads like, everyone's like, wow, wow. But then it's not all it's cracked up to be. Right. There's some T's and C's. Cynical, cynical millennial here looking a little bit deeper

and looking into these summer hours. So how many Fridays are there until the end of February? Because if you can't- Five or six? Six. If you're- Okay, so there's one, two, three. This Friday?

Maybe the next is still in Jan? Nah. Four, five, six. Okay. So if you work till five, that's three, six times three, 18 hours. Yep. If you're rostered on- Yeah.

So you can't leave, like in're rostered on so you can't leave like in a store or whatever you can't leave you but you will be given a your day so that's a day in lieu

to use before the end of April however what's your average work day 8 hours yep maybe 10 but other people are getting 18

if you had them all up so I'd want 2 2 days off right instead of 1 2 your days. It's a good idea though. But you have to have all your work done.

Yeah. You can't just get to two o'clock on Friday and leave if you've got work to do. You've got to get it done. Yeah. Yeah, so you've just got to, I guess, work a bit harder the first few days. And there's a fine balance between

them trying to look like the good guys and what's actually happening here. Yeah. You know? So I'm all for it. We should and what's actually happening here. Yeah. You know? I'm all for it. We should be doing four-day weeks. Yeah, but didn't you ring their call centre, Megan, and they just were like,

no, I'm going to take your call. No, yeah. No, the customer service line, and it says no one can take your call, and then instead of, like, directing you to an answer phone message, it hangs up. They're at the beach.

You're like, oh, so now what? They're OTP on a Friday afternoon. Don't bother calling after 2pm. But yeah, they're giving that a go. Was it who? Some, is it like Denmark or something? Weren't they going to try and do like a six hour day or four day weeks? Four day, someone was going to do a four-day week over summer.

Right. The summer four-day week. How good would that be? I think it's winter where you need a longer weekend. Granted, there's not the weather to get outside and enjoy it, but it's the gloominess and the cold that means you need a little extra time to eat and watch the eclipse. No, I'd rather have it in summer.

Have it in summer. Because how good is it? We've got like a long, most of the North Island's got a long weekend coming up on Monday with Anniversary Day. Then there's Waitangi Day. A lot of people taking, making that like a five-day weekend. It's good in summer. It's good in summer, but then winter really drags. Winter needs a little summer.

Yeah, right. Winter needs a little incentive. And then what are you going to do if you've got a long weekend? I reckon four-day work weeks in winter as well. And summer. Just all round. Just all round. I'm a big fan of four-day work weeks in winter as well. And summer. Just all round. Just all round. I'm a big fan of four-day work weeks.

You're a big fan of not working much. I'm a huge fan of not working much. Massive. You'll struggle to find a bigger fan than me of not working much. Yeah, that's what the doctor tells me. Vaughan grew up on a farm. You tell us about cows and farming stuff all the time. Yep.

But I'm going to educate you on something about cows that I don't think you know. Okay. Maybe. I'm ready. Is it the four stomach thing? No, you've told me that before. Dessert stomach.

Entree soup. That's a thing. Soup, bread, stomach. That's a particular one. Entrees, mains, bread, stomach. Entrees, mains and dessert. Imagine if we had four stomachs. This obesity problem would be out of control in this country. We've already abused the one we've got.

No, it's not the four stomachs. Cows talk to each other. Of course they do. That's not, you haven't told me anything. They don't, they do. That's not, you haven't told me anything. They moo. So a study has been done into the moos of cows. You are loving this. And they all have their individual vocal characteristics.

So there's a Vaughan cow. Moo, moo, moo. Well, I feel attacked. How would my cow go? Moo. Moo, moo, moo. Well, I feel attacked. Well, how would my cow go? Moo. Moo. Unbelievable. Just me laughing all the time. Mine would be like moo, moo, moo, moo, moo.

Right you say. Right you cow. Yours would be at the freezing works, mate. It'd be dog tucker before sundown. No, so they all have individual characteristics. Right. Their moves are different. And their pitch depends on their emotions.

So they can talk to each other and do high moves, low moves, like literally change the pitch of how they're feeling. What did you think cows were doing when they were mooing previously? Well, just be like, I don't know. They're a herd animal. I didn't realise they could express emotions with a different moo. I just thought they had a standard moo. Like a

moo. And it was like longer or it was more aggressive. It was like, get out of the way. Moo! You know? Or like, a little bit excited. It would be like. But there wouldn't be emotions like we experience because not many animals experience the range of emotions that humans are capable of. Wouldn't it just be more like found some grass

or what are you doing over there? Come back. Like if you're treading too far, danger. All this guy's pulling on my titties again. I kind of like it. Moo, moo, moo, moo, moo, moo. Danger. All this guy's pulling on my titties again. I kind of like it. Utters or teats, what's the official terminology? Well, utters are the bigger bits and then teats are the bits on the end of the udder. There we go.

The teat is like the nipple and the udder is the bird. Right, okay. So the big vocal points in their life are while they're waiting for food, if they're denied food, if they get separated from the group. Like, huh, guys? Yeah, loneliness. So what's a moo when they're waiting for you to give them hay and stuff? No, because this straight up, when they hear the tractor start,

they know that the silage is coming. And they'll walk to the gate and be like, moo! Just like us, I guess, when we're hungry. We're like, moo! Moo! Food, moo! When like, food, ma'am. When it's like two o'clock at the drive-thru at Macca's or something.

And one of them is being denied food. So when mum tells you to have some water or drink it or eat apple. Or there's food at home. Plenty of food in the fridge. And the other one is during their sexually active period. Yeah, the raw bulls roar. And yeah other one is during their sexually active period. Yeah, the raw

bulls roar and cows are kind of like, Jesus because they can't see him coming because he's like, right. Comes in from behind. Right. That's how that works. But our cows talk to the cows across the road at home. Your big fluffy Cubans. The big floofers. Yeah, they talk

to the cows across the road. The guy over the road will move his cows to the paddock, and our cows were like, hey, hey. Now the ones were like, hey. Mate. Mimoo. Mimoo, Mimoo. Mimoo, Mimoo.

That paddock have you? Yep. Righto. And that's it. They're happy. Yeah, and then occasionally they'll have another moo up, but I think it's just, you still in that paddock? Yeah, I'm still in the paddock.

Yeah, right up. Hot over there? Hot. What do you look like? Because they can't see each other. They can only hear each other. A cow? Yeah, well, I look like a cow that's wearing a very woolly coat.

Interesting. What about you? No coat over here. Why are they all blokey? They might not all be blokey. I'm only going because it's always like... Oh, right. You know, like girls from the lower part of the South Island?

Right. What? You know girls from the lower part of the South Island? No. Yeah, you get it, mate. That's what they're for. They do. And they roll their ass.

Do they? Yeah, they're like, hurry again, mate. They do. Have you ever met a girl from Invercargill? No, I'm just saying you dig your hole a little bit deeper. I'll gladly have a little sit in my hole. Fill it up with water and make it a pool. ZM's Fletch Warner Megan, the podcast.

James, producer James, is leaving us at the end of this week. He's got another job. What time will you get up for your new job, James? What's the alarm going to be? I would say about quarter past six, maybe. Maybe sleep until about 6.30. Yeah, right. Preliminary alarm, 6.15.

Slow rise, 6.45. Get up, have some breakfast. Go for a morning walk. Leisurely. Way better than 4am. Breakfast at home. Imagine that on a weekend. I know.

What an absolute treat. How long have you been here? It'll be... It feels like forever. Three years? Two years? Over three years now, yeah. Over three years.

Long time. Time flies when you're working with your heroes. So they say. Aw. Did you hear what he called you, James? A hero. Yeah. Yeah, I know.

Great. He's my hero. Almost hero. It's mutually heroic. Mutual heroes, yeah. Bit of back and forth heroism. But he doesn't say a lot, but when he speaks, it's often gold. And in his last week, we're having a look back on some of our favourite producer James memories.

Now, do we need to set this up or say anything about this? This highlight? This is one that involves my girlfriend. Yeah. And yeah, well, you'll hear, but it's definitely still in the bank. I can still use it for sure. All right.

So my girlfriend finishes work about 5.30, so I go and meet her at the gym afterwards. So she was already at the gym when I got there. I come in and she says, someone just came through the entry doors. I'm sure they're from a TV show. I've seen them before. We walk into the gym

and she points the guy out. She says, that's him there. I'm sure he's from a TV show somewhere. And I look at him and never seen him before in my life. And, you know, I thought I might recognise maybe someone from Shortland Street

or something like that. Because they come in here all the time, don't they? Yeah. You could be like, yep, that's him. And you know, if you're lucky,

you might see Chris Warner walking down the street if you're around. If you're lucky. If you're really lucky. I've seen a Chris Warner in the wild on Queen Street. I threw my pokeball at him

but it bounced off. I guess he is beyond my experience. This was an exciting time seeing a doctor in the wild but it wasn't someone from Shortland Street. I was sure of it.

Chanel, my girlfriend started getting a little bit annoyed she's like come on i'm sure i've seen him from somewhere um and i just couldn't pick it um while i'm looking at him i turn around and look back at chanel and it looked just a look comes over her face like she's lost something or realized something okay and i um she said oh no no, I recognise him from somewhere. Uh-oh. And I thought, whereabouts? That sounds weird.

Yeah, I know. I'm ominous. And then she says, he's a stripper. She recognised him as a stripper. The first thing that I thought of, I said, great, this hasn't happened to me. Yeah, I know. Because if this was you.

If it was me, I would be. You'd be in trouble. I thought, when have you, I can't remember you going to a strip club or anything. And why are you going to a strip club behind my back without me as well? Because you'd like to go at least. Well, you know, that's quite a great experience with your partner. I don't know, actually. She's never invited quite a great experience with your partner. Would it? I don't know, actually.

She's never invited him, so he doesn't know. No. Anyway, it turns out to be a stripper from a hen's night she'd been to. Not only did she recognise his face, she'd also done a body shot off him as well. Oh, my God. The story's just ensued after that. I know. I would have left those details out. Yeah.

Yeah, I would too. Did she recognise the torso? Yeah, I would too. But she recognised the torso. Yeah, it was when he was, yeah, she recognised the face, but when he was running and a nipple came out the side of his singlet, she's like, oh, that's it. That's the one. Yeah, right. That's the nipple that I had to suck the salt off when I was doing the body shot

and then the other nipple was the lemon. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. So at Airport Security, the Aviation Security Service are the people that have supplied this information. They want to let us know what we can and can't take because now these, what I'm about to tell you, it says this year, but does it mean the year passed from this point?

Yeah, looking at these figures, I'd say 2019. Yeah, so not 21 days. These are the people you get stuck behind. Hopefully not 21 days. These are the people you get stuck behind and it's their first time flying and they've got a giant bottle of water. Although you can take those domestically in New Zealand, can't you? Domestically, yes.

Yeah, but not, I'm guessing these would be international as well, these statistics. So they have found 713 guns, which is, that includes gun parts, toys and replicas as well. 713. This is the security, so like, carry on. So this is what people like, like keychain, like you've got a keychain and there's a gun on it or something, or it's

a gun lighter. Is this in New Zealand? It could be. Yeah, this is in New Zealand. That's nuts, right? Yeah, because you always see those signs, it's like, don't have guns and knives, and you're Yeah, that's nuts, right? Yeah, because you always see those signs that say, don't have guns and knives, and you're like, who's taking that? Who had a, it was a bullet, but it was a USB stick. You did. Didn't you get.

Yep, and I had that belt buckle that was shaped like a gun. Do you remember that? I had to put that in the bin. Yep. I wouldn't let that on a flight. I had that. It was like thin tin, but there was no way it could have been a gun. Yeah. I had a, like a vintage perfume

bottle. It was empty. Obviously it wasn't full with perfume, but it was a glass. One of those ones where you squeeze the thing. Yeah. And it goes but in the x-ray thing it literally looked like a bomb. Oh, like a grenade-y sort of situation. Yeah. And so I had to stop and get that out

of my bag. Oh, okay. But you got a paper. Yeah. Oh, that a grenade-y sort of situation. Yeah, and so I had to stop and get that out of my bag. Oh, okay, but you got a paper. Yeah. Oh, that's good. 3,303 explosives. Three in one year? 3,300 explosives. What the hell? What, like, would that be bullets?

Ammunition? That includes fireworks, yeah. Right. People who are... But even then, who's like, I'm off to Christchurch for the weekend, I'm going to take some fireworks. They have them there. Unless it's not that time of the year and you want to take...

Celebration. Nuts. Fireworks. But I probably wouldn't. So the head of operations said it's not uncommon to find people just carrying on boxes of fireworks onto the plane and they're like, oh, actually you can't take those. What the hell?

Yeah. So cans of petrol as well. They want to tell people that you cannot take that on the plane. People, who's taking a jerry can on board? Why? Where'd they get a jerry can from? They didn't want to leave them in the rental car, apparently. So their rental car ran out of gas,

so they walked to the nearest server and bought one of those $16 things, filled it up, walked back, filled it up, but then were like, well, I paid for it. I'm not leaving it. What the hell is wrong with people? 40,000 sharps. So that's like knives and scissors and things like that. That's accidental because you have a metal nail file

and they're like, absolutely not. You're like, oh, whoopsie daisies. Yeah. But I wonder how many of those are actually knives. But then you go to the airport cafe or the lounge and they'll give you a knife. You're just like, okay, well, that was worth it, wasn't it? But those things can't even cut a skull.

No, but you could sharpen it. Oh, if you bought a whetstone. Yeah. A whetstone and a good attitude, you could probably sharpen that knife. Exactly. And also they want to let you know that you can't take butter or marmite. We have grape butter, so people are trying to take that away. Why can't people take butter on a plane?

Well, that constitutes being a gel. They said anything you can spread. You can put it in your check-in. Yep. But not your carry-on. Pending on where you're going. And obviously this is international, not domestic. Because domestic, you're fine, aren't you?

Yeah. Because I took a pork chop, remember? You took a pork chop and a... And tinfoil. This is why, having been to a Pacific island over the summer holidays, you always forget how people take like polystyrene boxes. Of food! Of food! In KFC, they love

Yeah! Yeah! So we're behind this big group of people and they had one and I said to Shana, I was like, God, every part of me wants to know what's in there so badly. The family met them just on the other side where they got their baggage and they were like, everyone was like, yay.

And I was like, oh, that's a happy family get-together. They're like, no, no, no. They're excited about what's in that polystyrene thing. Uncle whips out a craft knife, cuts it open. The smell of KFC fills the air. Oh, yes. It's currency. This is the most popular man here right now.

It's currency. Yeah, so nothing that can be smeared. Lots of people taking Marmite. Put it in your chicken, not in your carry-on. Right. And wrap it in something to stop it from smashing because you don't want to look like you shit yourself through your luggage.

Do Marmite smashes. Does it have a quantity of butter in Marmite? No, but just like a huge amount each year. No, I've seen them sell Vegemite in Australia. At the airport. At the airport. At the airport. And it's really expensive. Yeah.

I don't know if that's pre or post security. Must be, must be. No, it's post. It's in the duty free. No one, you have to grow up on that stuff.

No one's coming to Australia as a visitor and being like, actually, that's delicious. I reckon it's the joke. It's the joke thing you take home. Oh, it's the joke present. Oh, take this home

and fool everyone. Because it looks like chocolate but it's not. No. It's disgusting. Hey, whoa. Whoa. Vege the joke present. Oh, take this home and fool everyone. Because it looks like chocolate, but it's not. No, it's not. It's disgusting. Hey, whoa. Whoa. You know I'm team Marmite and team Jen.

Team Marmite and team Jen. Team Marmite and team Angela. Our first edition of This Is Why I'm Fat for 2020. A segment of the show, if you've never heard it, where we take a look at new food trends, new food products. Yeah. Often ones that provide temptation. Yeah.

And calories. Do you know, while we're away, I thought of a good segment that we could have done this on, but we weren't on air. There is a caramilk. They're doing the caramilk Easter eggs. They're doing caramilk cream eggs. Yeah, caramilk.

Oh, yum. That'd be so sweet. So good. Yeah. I think they've done the dream ones before. Yep, the white chocolate ones. They were good. Oh, I'm excited to try these.

Anyway, today's... Lick your lips. Pause to lick your lips. Today's This Is, I'm excited to try these. Anyway, today's... Lick your lips. Pause to lick your lips. Today's This Is Why I'm Fat, some people are saying, has ruined two items of perfectly good food. In a collab. Oh, it's a combo. In a mashup.

Now, unfortunately, this is one that you're going to have to make yourself. And I think you could make it yourself pretty easily. But unless you're in Adelaide, where Chuckwagon175 I believe is some kind of restaurant. Oh, let me look. Chuckwagon. Chuckwagon175. They have released a special burger. Oh my god, their burgers look

amazing. Oh my god, their burgers look sloppy, calorific. American burgers, wings and craft beer. I know, It sounds like absolute heaven. So they have released for Australia Day, which is coming up soon, a mash-up, the Lamington burger. So it is a chocolate Lamington. Split.

Basically, it's a delicious double meat cheeseburger that uses Lamington buns as the buns. And bacon as well. And there's bacon and delicious cheese, like melted all over. So it's juicy insides of nice beef and bacon burger with chocolate lamington buns. Now, people are saying you've ruined two perfectly good things, the burger. Or have they combined them to make them one better product? I don't know about the chocolate, but like the spongy coconutty bun would be yum.

Yeah. I'm just wondering how chocolate would taste with like beef and bacon and cheese. Somebody will learn to that sweet and savoury combo vibe. It would definitely work better with, do you think it would work better with a chocolate lamington or a raspberry Lamington. This isn't their first rodeo. I mean, neither.

I've just gone to their Instagram page, CW175. Yep. They're using fried chicken as buns here. So that's like a double down except they're using fried chickens, but it's still got the meat patty and the cheese in it. Oh, my God. And bacon. I feel like my heart's just slowed down looking at this.

They do deep fried cookie dough. Jeez, okay. And, like, those monster shakes. Oh, yeah, their shakes look good. Fletch, this is right in your wheelhouse because you always, it blows my mind, if we go out for, like, burgers, you always get, like, a chocolate milkshake burger. Yeah, of course.

No, that's, like, taking up all the room in your tum. Yeah, I just. The milkshake. I can't do that much dairy full stop, but you're like, I'm all for it. It's some wings and a shake. It's to be admired. All about it. You eat so well majority of the time, but then when you decide that today's the day.

Oh, I'll go all out. Today's the day. When we went, where did we go? And my kids were there. And I was telling them on the way that it was, they could just have a burger. And then we get there and Fletch gets burger, wings, fries, and a chocolate shake. And they look at me like, what?

Why does he get to have a thick shake? Because I can do what I want, kids. He's a grown man. He's given up, kids. He's given grown man. He's given up, kids. He's given up. I don't see you kids with a job offering to pay for the extra fries and shake. So get a job and you can order more at dinner. Get a job, you do what you want.

So the chocolate burger Lamington. I don't know. You can maybe buy a burger and some Lamingtons and kind of make it yourself. Well, yeah. Just make the meat patties, bacon and cheese. Yeah. Or just go order a burger somewhere and grab a Lamington from a cafe. And then do it at the checkout right in front of them.

It'll freak them out. Yeah. It'll freak them right out. This is why. Fat. This is why. Fat. This is why.

This is why. This is why. Fat. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. I wouldn't know about this because we don't flirt at work. It would be nice to have like some hottie around here. To have a casual flirt. We are right here, Megan.

But it's not happening for us. Okay. Casual flirting at work between co-workers affects your health. There's a study that's been done by Washington State University and it says that flirting with your co-workers and colleagues is actually good for you and can help relieve stress. Huh, okay. That's why I'm so stressed at work.

Because you don't have any hot guys to flirt with. I was really trying to throw you under the bus. I was racking my brain there in silence, trying to think if I've ever seen you flirt with anyone at work. Because you don't have any hot guys to flirt with. I was really trying to throw you under the bus and I was racking my brain there in silence trying to think if I've ever seen you flirt with anyone at work and I was like,

I'll throw you under the bus because I can't. No. Apart from Mr. Toyboy, that was a work situation, wasn't it? Yeah, no, that's true. You did start flirting

with him at work. Look where that ended up. Yeah. So no, you have been witness to what I look like when I flirt. It was yuck. It definitely hasn't.

It was pretty yuck. It was yuck. It was a while ago, but I remember it. You can talk, sweetheart. You're pretty yuck when you flirt. Try flirt with me now. No, I can't. Go, go, go.

I literally can't. No. Why not? Don't make her. That's weird. It's got to be reciprocated. Oh, yeah. I wouldn't want Go, go, go. I literally can't. No. Why not? Go make her. That's weird. It's got to be reciprocated. Oh, yeah, I wouldn't want to do it to you. I just thought you're looking at me with a stupid grin on your face.

I need, like, something back, you know? But does it say, like, what if you're married or you have someone? Should you just be flirting, like, harmlessly, if there is such a thing, just to maintain this work happiness? So it's a light level of flirtation that occurs a lot in workplaces. So I guess if you do have a partner, I mean, you're not, like, following through with anything. You're not, like, cheating on them. It's like the sort of flirting Fletch did last year

to get that swipe card. Remember how he needed a new swipe card? Was that flirting? And it got really flirtatious. I don't think that was flirting. Yeah, well, I think Jo would disagree with that. Jo and I get on great. You framed a picture of yourself.

You gave her a framed photo of yourself. I gave her a framed photo of myself, wearing my new protective swipe card. I actually, I think that's on her desk. Yeah, sure. She put it on her desk. It's a great present. Have you been in contact since?

No, I haven't. I think I maybe waved Happy New Year. Oh. Yeah, but Vaughn's the only one now that doesn't get on well with... Joe. Joe. Oh, no, I treat a man caper, okay? It's that you're flirting. um joe joe oh no i treat a man caper okay and you wonder why and you wonder why you don't get a good car park or a swipe card ah that'll be it megan and i are best friends with joe that's yeah

that's how you get it yeah but i want to say that's workplace flirting no is that not how you flirt i don't know so in the workplace it's just weird, isn't it? We know how he flirts. We've all seen this. Oh, he's conveniently moving on to the next one. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. Okay, so there's two celebrities that have played matchmaker with their parents. Right.

And it's after, they've been friends for a while, but they obviously got talking about their parents during filming of The Gentleman. So Matthew McConaughey and Hugh Grant. This is the new Guy Ritchie movie, which looks great. Haven't seen it yet. Is it out already? Yeah, it is. Oh, I need to watch this.

Okay. So they were talking about their parents. Now, it is Matthew McConaughey's dad. Yep. He's 91. Jesus. Really? How old is Matthew McConaughey? mcconaughey's dad yep he's 91 jesus really and mcconaughey oh matthew mcconaughey's mom is 88 and hugh grant's dad is 91 all right so hugh grant's dad okay um and they are going out

so i mean i don't know if they are widowed or divorced or whatever but um they're going on a date well the thing is with those, you know, those 80 and 90 year olds, when they find someone, they get married like in a month. They want to make the most of the time they've got. They know it's not going to last long. Yeah. They reckon it's going to be red hot. Red hot.

Would that be weird? Like your friend all of a sudden becomes like your stepbrother? Bound to have happened. Bound to have. I don't know. No, but that's how you No, but you always hear of someone like

someone's dad runs off with someone's friend and then they become your stepmum. Yeah. Or even if like your parents are single and then like

they're hanging out because you guys know each other. That's how they met. And then your friend becomes your stepdad, your stepbrother. Yeah. Okay, I want to take some calls on this because this is like some Jeremy Kyle kind of stuff. Yeah.

Like when did your friends become family? Like has anyone ever been in that situation? Or do you know of someone that that's happened to? Because that's the thing, like, if you're all hanging out. Because then when it comes to Christmas, are Hugh Grant and Matthew McConaughey going to be, like, hanging out at Christmas? Well, maybe.

Because mum and dad are together now. It totally could happen. It totally could happen. Yeah. Do you know of this happening to anyone? Like, you always hear of those times when someone's dad runs off with someone's friend. And then... And then, I don't know whether it lasts or not.

But then, all of a sudden, like, your friend is your, like, step-mom. That'd be weird. Like, how weird. Just think about that for a second. Like that's just bizarre, right? But I guarantee it's got to have happened. Yeah. All right. What about, probably slightly more likely would be if your sibling

hooked up with one of your friends. Yeah, and then you became like a step-brother or step-sister. No, no, they would just become your brother-in-law. Oh, brother-in-law, that's right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Would that be weird too? Yeah. Less weird than your dad running off with a friend.

Yeah. But then still weird because you wouldn't want your friends to hook up with your sibling. No, my brother and I did that to each other, so I can't really complain. That's what happens when you have hot friends. Wait, so your brother went out with one of your friends? Yeah.

My best friend. And you went out with one of his friends? Yeah. And did that test the friendship? No, not really. It was just weird because she'd ring up and I'd like talk on the phone and be like, la la la, and then she'd be like, actually, you know, is your brother there? Get your hot brother. I actually called to talk to him. It's like, oh. Ouch.

Alright, well, 0800DARLS.M Give us a call and him. It's like, oh. Ouch. All right, well, 0800DARLS.M, give us a call and you can text as well, 9696. When have friends become family? Talking about when friends become family.

Wow. Some stories. My sister, here's some stories, here's some text messages. My sister-in-law started getting with her boss and he got divorced

from his wife for her. She was best friends with his daughter. Yep. And now she can't understand why his daughter won't talk to her anymore. They just got married and the daughter went to the wedding and started causing drama by flirting with her dad's best friend to see how he liked it.

Wow. Whoa, that's a lot. Someone said, a student at the school I used to work for, their mother ran off with her father-in-law. Okay. So the mother ran off with her husband's father. Right. Oh, wow.

So all these kids knew was that granddad was also their stepdad. It's quite a confusing thing to explain. Where was this school? I don't know When you're trying to work these out Do you attribute it to you? Like I always have to So I'm like running off with Andrew's dad

That's weird And Lorenz is like Mum's at it again You're a fictitious child Non-existent single child My best friend dated my brother And then married my uncle. Right.

Dated the brother. Yep. Then met the uncle. God. I really like that gene pool. Yeah, it must be a hot family. My wife and I are third generation family friends. Our grandparents met in primary school and my dad was her dad's best man.

And then we got married. So they both find out. Yeah, right. Right. That in the olden days was just the done thing, wasn't it? You'd marry your kids off to your friends and you'd try to get all the land and stuff. And just hope you didn't get a dud one. I've got a couple of acres at least.

My dad got together with my friend's mum on year six school camp. They're still together now. So now my very good friend is also my stepsister. Imagine that. Yeah, that's weird. All right, let's take some calls.

Sophie, when did friends become family? Morning. Morning. So there were these two guys that we went to school with. One was in my brother's class. One was a year above my brother and the guy was kind of friends.

Yeah. So they used to come over on the holidays, and my mum would look after them. But then their parents divorced, and like two years later, their dad asked my mum out, and now they're married. Cute. It's real cute. So now you're... You're all one happy family.

Yeah, we're all like step-siblings. Yeah. Right, okay. Well, they were always there when you were younger, so now they're just officially siblings. Like a sister or brother anyway. Yeah. Yeah.

Exactly. Sophie, thanks for your call. Wait, there are Tori. When did friends become family? Good morning. How's it going? Good, good. Good, good.

So when my ex of three years, his mum ends up marrying my mum. So now he's my stepbrother. Oh. And so what's it like? Oh, I didn't get to see him all the time. Yeah, well, hold on. Yeah, well, it's just that, like, holidays. I saw him at the wedding, and I thought it was quite funny.

But do you have to see him much? Not really. I guess around the holidays and stuff. But it's actually fine, because we went out when we were like 16 to like 18, 19. And is that how your mums met? Yes. We don't know. It was kind of a blur back then because when we were going out,

my mum and his mum were really good friends and they lived together. And I lived with my ex with our mum. So it's been going on a while. Yes. And we were like, I wonder if something's going on. I mean, they do sleep in the same bed. They probably... Oh.

Now that you're saying it out loud. I need Detective Pikachu over here. It's not hard to work out, is it? Missing some vital clues. Wow, that's incredible. All right. Hey, Tori, thanks for your call. Kieran, when did friends become family?

So my mum and dad got married, and then my dad's mum and my mum's dad, who were both widows, they hooked up and they ended up getting married. So my mum and dad ended up being stepbrother and sister. But they were married first, so technically... Yeah, they were married. Technically...

Again, that's a saving at Christmas though, isn't it? It's just closing ranks. It's great that the in-laws got along. That's exactly right. Because normally that doesn't happen. Hey, Kieran, thanks for your call. Some more text messages.

My colleague hooked up with her daughter's boyfriend's granddad. Okay. So it's a serious relationship, but her daughter has now split up from the grandson. Yep. So now when there's family get-togethers,

they have to see each other. Yeah, but at a different generational level. Yeah, okay. Right. It's quite a lot. Granddad's got it going on. Some of this is quite the mind maze. But yeah, no shortage of it.

Slide into the DMs. Slide into the DMs. We've rebranded, new for 2020, the old segment Snapchat, Snapchat. Just taking it to the gram. Yeah. It's where the people are. Slide into the DMs. Now, our intern Anya's been in charge of collating these questions.

It's executive intern, if you don't mind. Executive intern. AI. Producer Caitlin's left, so stepped into the big shoes. There's no one else left in the whole building. That's how it sounded. Yeah. Well, yeah, clutching at straws.

Now, this isn't one of the questions to go forward because you've already asked me, but what was that question you asked me yesterday? Remember you asked me that question? You messaged me on Facebook? I have absolutely no idea what you're talking about and I'm really concerned. Go into our conversation and scroll back.

Do you have a private conversation going? Just a couple of besties. I'm a mentor. Chit-chatting. I'm teaching you the ways. Oh, where a private conversation going? Just a couple of besties. I'm a mentor. Chit-chatting. I'm teaching you the ways. Oh, where was your shirt from? Yeah, fashionista. Someone wants to know where my shirt was from.

What shirt were you wearing yesterday? That blue one from AS Color. A blue t-shirt? Yeah. Wait, somebody wanted to know where a plain blue t-shirt was from. Correct. Normally the questions are for Megan.

It's got a bit of a look to it. Like a mottled look. Is it mottled? Is that the word? Like a faded blue. Yeah, a little bit of a faded blue look. Nice. Oh my God.

Wow. Okay. Hey, it's coming across as real jealousy that you two don't get to answer. No, no. Absolutely not. I love it. Wait, Trace, you've got your shirt that's got a crocodile on it. I don't know if you get that in an Australian wildlife pond.

Absolutely. And Megan's repurposing her Nana's neck curtains. I was waiting for this. I was waiting. It's taken longer than I thought it would. Yeah. I thought about asking you before, you couldn't wear that in the sun because you'd get a sun pattern.

Yeah, I'd get a lace pattern. Do you remember when you wore that military commander's jacket? You've never worn that since because you were teased about that. The camo jacket. Yeah. No, I wear get a lace pattern. Do you remember when you wore that military commander's jacket that you've never worn that since because you were teased about that? The camo jacket. Yeah. No, I wear that. No, what about the Russian?

I thought you were not talking about the Russian jacket. I know that you don't wear your Jetstar jacket anymore. Oh, no, I don't wear that Russian jacket anymore. Don't wear anything orange around here.

No, that orange jacket's been Yeah, that Russian jacket. And I really like the jacket but I just said I called you comrade all morning and she refuses to wear it. So, Internone, said, I called you comrade all morning. So, Internone, you've collated the Ask Me Anything questions on our Instagram, FVMZM. Feel free to send these through.

And this might be good for people new to the show who want to ask a question. Maybe they hear something. Yeah, I like it when it's questions about you guys. Yeah, I like it when it's questions about other people. Because I don't like answering personal questions. I'm very private. Let's delve into it. I'm an open book.

Are you? Smithy the open book, they call you. Yeah. Okay, our first question. Slide into the DMs. Hey, Megan, can you say tarantula? Yeah, I can. Tralantula.

No. That's how I say it. I've taken the word back. Say it again. Tralanchula. Yeah, I can. Tralanchula. No. That's how I say it. I've taken the word back. Say it again. Tralanchula. You like literally... Still can't. We've tried to teach you. Yeah, but...

For those new to the show, Megan just cannot say the word. Tralanchula. Now I've decided that's how I want to say it, so... You're owning it. Yeah. Okay. Are you guys friends outside of work? No.

No. We're friendly. Outside of work? We actually hate each other. No. No, we of course are friends outside of work. Yeah. We don't need to catch up outside of work.

We spend enough time together. No, sometimes we do. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But we don't like feel the need to. Yeah, like sometimes if I'm out, someone will be like where's Vaughn? I'll be like, at home. They don't ask about me, do they just think

you're Siamese twins? No, sometimes they'll be like, where's Megan? Oh, cute. Yeah, we don't hang out 24-7. Not during the week because this is enough. But like, I don't know, sometimes we hang out. We've got our own stuff going on. We're busy.

Megan's got a second job. She works at a cafe. I've got a family and a little farm. Matt and Fletch, well, what do you do? What's your time? Apparently nothing. Yeah. I thought so.

Very busy though. We still don't know. I'm very busy. Sometimes I am very busy. Very busy. Marry, bang, kill, Harry Styles, Prince Harry or Harry Potter? That's easy. Kill Harry Potter? Kill Harry Potter that's easy kill Harry Potter kill Harry Potter

good luck Voldemort couldn't stop him I know but no they just given me the option no one's gonna bang Harry Potter you go Harry Styles

Prince Harry and Harry and then marry Harry Prince Harry Prince Harry we're on the same page marry him marry Harry Styles Prince Harry's got Harry. We're on the same page. Marry him. Marry Harry Styles. No, because Prince Harry's got to sort his own shit out now.

You'd be constantly worried about him getting hit on all the time. He's a heartthrob. Yeah, but the tabloids absolutely have a field day with you. But he's married. I'm separated from the royal family now. Oh, have you? Okay, right. Yeah, Prince Harry's lost a lot of appeal.

Okay, all right. Don't get frog-balled. Hey, guys. Just wondering who the diva of the show is. Fletch. Fletch. I was going to do three, two, one. Me!

Three, two, one. Fletch. Why do you always gang up on me? He acts all cute and stuff on here. Because I am extremely cute. But he's a big old diva. Hey, there's the thing. After the show, we have to wear a shirt.

What? You have to wear a shirt What? You have to wear a shirt I don't wear a shirt I don't wear shirts I No do you know On my holiday I actually bought a shirt A summer shirt

Did you? Yeah I know Like a short sleeve shirt Yeah like a short sleeve shirt No Who are you? I know And then I bought it

And I was wrapped with regilt Regret Regilt Regilt Regrets Yeah regrets Yeah Regilt That's good. Regilt and regret. Yeah, ragrets. Regilt. That's good though.

It's when you're regretful and guilty. Yeah, yeah. Which perfectly sums up you and your actions. All right. Wait, wait. Tell me more about this shirt. What colour is it? What did you do this for?

It's blue. Like a navy blue. Why? Because I was like, well, I'm going to have to wear a shirt, but I don't like wearing long sleeves in summer, so this is perfect because the sleeves are short. When are you going to wear a shirt?

I don't know. I haven't worn it yet. It's just hanging up. No, it's not. It's just plain. If it sounds like we're going on about this, it's because... It's very confusing. Because I own own shirts.

Let alone short shirts. Short shirts, yeah. What a puzzling situation. All right, next question. Fletch, why are you still single? You seem like such a catch. Oh, Jesus. He's not.

He's not single or he's not a catch? He's not a catch. I'm not a catch and I am single, so yeah. Okay, next question. Do we answer that? Well, I don't know. What else is there more to say? Nothing, I guess.

Well, if you're not willing to say anything, I guess. Who's bringing the sex appeal now that producer James is leaving? Oh, jeez. Lucky he's the taken man. Do we still have that person's number? What person? The person that's like into James. No, no, they're just saying the general sex appeal.

Yeah, but they're also saying he's got sex appeal. Yeah, yeah. Because he does his GoDaddy. Give us a GoDaddy, James. We haven't had a GoDaddy in 2020. GoDaddy this year and it's... Give us your deep voice. Nah, give it.

People might not have heard this. We've only got three more days with you. We should be doing a GoDaddy every day. This is very late for a GoDaddy. It is. It's later in the day, isn't it? We usually do this at 6 o'clock. GoDaddy. Yeah.

It's a light one. I think the show will miss that sex appeal and you're not wrong. Maybe you could do it. If it's the first thing in the morning you could do it, maybe, Vaughn. I could do it. Give it a go? No, I can't do it now. I've warmed up. Who's going to do the GoDaddy? Do it.

GoDaddy. You saw me do it now. I've warmed up. Who's going to do the Go Daddy? Do it. Go Daddy. You saw me do it and now you're laughing. So you've taken away all my confidence. Okay, next question. Fletch, whereabouts are you travelling to next and are you taking a special friend with you? A special friend? No, I don't know. I think my next is going to Melbourne.

He doesn't travel well with people. Yeah, no, I don't. You always go my next is going to Melbourne. He doesn't travel well with people. Yeah, no, I don't. Nah. You always go on your big adventures by yourself. Sometimes, yeah. Plus, you don't take a special friend. You get one when you get there, right? Yeah, that's what apps are for.

You make the special friends. Yeah, you make the special friends. Yeah. Yeah. Make new special friends. Yeah, exactly. And then have it. Different ones in different cities.

Lots of special friends. All right, calm down. And then have enough of them and then try to find another special friend and then have another one because that one wasn't right. This segment is not rag on me. I'm not raggy. I'm amazed by it. Last question.

Hey, guys. What were your first impressions of each other, including producers? My first impressions were actually positive, mostly. No, because I thought Vaughn was real cool and real nice. I was like, man, he's such a nice guy. I am a real nice guy. He used to send me Facebook messages before I actually started on the show. And I was like, man, he's so chatty and so nice.

I thought Fletch was real serious. And then you get to know them and you're like, oh, Vaughn just wants like goss and... Vaughn loves goss. He's actually a bitch. It's a currency. Information is power. What about producers? Yeah, I thought they were cool dudes too.

I thought Anna's very funny. Anya's very funny. Yeah. And that still stands to this day. Now your turn. When we met you, we were told you were a goth. I don't know where that came from because I liked eyeliner. Yeah.

And then we were at that Japanese restaurant and you couldn't use chopsticks. And I was like, where is this woman from? And then I slopped my, what was it? Deep fried veggies on my lap. Tempura. Tempura veggies on my lap. Yeah. So I was like, well, this will need some work.

But we're here now. It's our mess. It's our mess. Vaughn? I don't even know your first impression of Fletch because you guys

were together before I came along. He didn't like me. What? That's the impression that I had. I didn't say I didn't like you.

What is your first impression of what he thinks of you? What? What's your first impression of him? Well, no, that's what I thought. Oh, this guy doesn't like me much. But he's cute. You thought I was cute, eh?

No. No, okay. What did you think of Bourne? No, because I was already doing a show with someone else. Yeah. And then they left and then they just said, you're working with this guy. And I was like, but look at him.

Because you did look like that guy from the 70s show. Did you come in hot or were you quiet? He's very quiet. I was quiet. Very quiet. Yeah, because I didn't have the information. An informationist now. Now he has the information.

But now, you know, we're great, aren't we? Yeah. Yeah, so cute. We do fine. We do fine. We do fine. We're doing okay. We're doing fine.

Yeah. I thought, no one do fine. We're doing okay. We're doing fine. Yeah. I thought, I didn't, no one told me Antonania was starting. I didn't know what, I thought she was like someone who was just watching

how it worked. You thought she was doing the prize patrols of Black Thunders, didn't you? Well, she should have been. I didn't think James liked us much

because he was real quiet. No, I knew James was quiet. Just doesn't say much, does he? Yeah. Yeah. I mean, he doesn't like us. That's why he's

leaving. Alright, well that is Slide Into The DMs. If you want to join in for any of the other upcoming segments, FBMZM Instagram. Fleshforn and Megan, the podcast. ZM. Frozen, the movie, that was

an undeniable, cultural marking point. Sure. It was massive. Yeah, it was. It was, you know, let it go, the songs from it, the sayings from it, the characters from it. I know the songs and some of the characters,

but I've never seen it. Okay. That's on you. That's really sad. I don't need to have seen it. Okay. That's on you. That's really sad. I don't need to have seen it, do I? Because you've got kids and you've probably seen it 4,000 times. It's really good.

I watched it before I had the... I watched it while August wasn't born. The first time I watched it, Indy was real young. She didn't really follow it. Okay. I loved it. I thought it was fantastic.

How many times would they have seen that movie? Quite a few times. Quite a few times. Quite a few times. So news that Frozen 2 was on the horizon was exciting when we heard that. And then it came out at the end of last year. So far, $1.3 billion at the box office. Wow. Wow.

And over the holidays, we'll all go see Frozen 2. That's what was said. And we talked to that guy, didn't we? Jonathan Groff. Jonathan Groff, who's in Mindhunter, and he's also the voice of... Kristoff. Yeah. And he'd sung to you, didn't he?

He did. You bloody loved that. Yeah, he was great. He's a very talented man. Yeah, he is. And, yeah, just a big fan and said, we'll go see that. But then the weather was nice outside, and we had things to do, and so it never happened. And the weather was nice outside and we had things to do.

So it never happened. Well, that's like the other day when we went to 1917. Incredible movie, BT Dubs. But it was such a nice day and it feels bad. I feel really bad going to the movies on a nice day. Yeah. During the day. You're wasting your day. Yeah, really.

You really do. You're wasting some sunlight hours. Yeah. So yesterday, just as I was leaving work, I said, this is every day, I send a text, I'm what's up, just before I leave work, just to get the barometer of the family. Yeah. And Sade said, oh, we're just about to go into Frozen 2.

Guess who wasn't there? You. This guy. What had he been doing? He'd been at the coalface. Working. He'd been working. Working for the family. He was

working hard. I actually feel really bad for you. I would never do that. I know. I couldn't. That's betrayal. Oh. Interesting. You were a fan before the girls were a fan. I saw it before Sade still worked. Wow. I can

understand the character intricacies. Yeah. That are perhaps above the heads of a seven-year-old and a five-year-old who probably just like the songs and the cute characters more. Was there any discussion? It's an onion. Frozen's an onion. So many layers.

So many things to appreciate. Had you done like a family discussion about when you were going to go see it? No, there was no discussion. And she mentioned maybe we would go without you? No, there was no discussion. Do you think she knew that if she had said to you, she would have had to wait longer for you to then come? To get home.

And she just wanted to get the kids into something. Maybe get the kids into something for the day. Surely there was something else if they were going to go to the movies they could have seen. You were really butt hurt by this. And then when they got home, I said, and how was that? And that time, that real sort of. Yeah, you know.

You know what you've done time. And how was that? He said. To which his family said, it was great. Oh, my God, what a movie. Mum really liked it. Did you? Oh, yeah, it was fantastic.

I really enjoyed it. It was better than I thought it was going to be. You worry about the sequels too, you know, the family's favourite movie. Yeah, sure, the family's. The family's favourite movie. So there was no remorse? No remorse. Not an ounce.

And they dragged popcorn into the house so I could smell the movies. Oh, that's even worse. I do like to take Sade's side a lot, but... She's done this. She has done wrong. This is betrayal. She went and saw Frozen. So you know what I'm going to take Sade's side a lot, but... She's done this. She has done wrong. This is betrayal. She went and saw Frozen. So you know what I'm going to do?

Oh, you cannot go by yourself. I'm going by myself. You are a grown man going to a kid's movie with a beard. And a black cap. You kids like a bit of Frozen too. Gold class, Frozen 2. Gold Class? Shit, yeah.

I'm not going to the movies by myself to sit in the povo seats. I'm going to have some wine. Right, okay. Can you still get cheese? Can they still do a cheese delivery? Yeah, a cheese board. Do they do cheese in Gold Class? Cheese, please.

What kind of cheese? You get a selection. But do you have to pay for it? Do you choose before you go in? It might already be chosen for you. I've been to Gold Class once and it had

all the trimmings but I don't know if they still do it that way. They might have changed something up. I bloody love a Gold Class.

It's bougie. I remember that. I took my parents once just because they're from Nelson and they don't have a Gold Class. And they're like...

Their idea of gold class is smuggling in some woodstocks and a sausage roll. You should have seen their faces just when they sat down on the recliner seats. They're like, so that's all for me. You recline in the cinema. And then when someone started bringing their food, they were like, wow.

Dads can't recline. They fall asleep. They've got to remain in an uncomfortable upright chair or they'll fall asleep and waste the entire experience. But you're going by yourself. I'll have to. I mean, you know what? If they want to see it again, they can wait.

Wait till it's out. So it's released on Disney+. No, they've seen it once. They don't get taken back to the cinemas. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Today's fact of the day is about Sunday. Did you know Sunday, well, first of all, would you consider Sunday the first day of the week or the last day of the week?

The last. Last, yeah, always the last. Do you? But I don't like some calendars, they're not like that, are they? So you would consider Monday the first day of the week? Yeah. Yeah. Really?

I've always considered Sunday the first day of the week. Nobody is considering Sunday. You start work on Monday, that's the start of the week. I know that it says Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday on the calendar sometimes. And you say it Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday. No, I say it Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday. It starts Monday because that's when we have to start work. Yeah.

Well, international standard would agree with you. Thank you. But in the US, Canada and Australia, Sunday is categorised as the first day of the week. Well, you don't live there. Yeah, so buck your ideas up, mate. Oh, yeah, I just kind of tagged us on with Australia. Oh. Well, no, we're not Australia.

No way in hell. Well, according to international standard ISO 8601, Monday is the first day of the week. Good. It is followed by Tuesday, then Wednesday. Oh, let me guess. Thursday. Friday. Saturday. me guess. Thursday. Friday.

And Saturday. Yep. Sunday is the seventh and final day. Yeah, right. Okay. Yeah. As the first day of the week varies from different cultures, so does the weekend.

Sunday is the day of rest. Friday in Muslim countries. Because, yeah, when we're in Dubai, they get absolutely razzed at those buffets, don't they? Those brunches. The long brunches. On a Friday. And their day's off a Friday, Saturday.

Oh, expats do, but not the local people of the Muslim faith don't get razzed at an all-you-can-drink Friday brunch, no. Oh, no, it's just all the Australians, British, and New Zealanders. Yeah, yeah. People of the Muslim faith don't get razzed at an all-you-can-drink Friday punch, no. Oh, no, it's just all the Australians, British and New Zealanders. Yeah, yeah. And the Jewish calendar is Saturday's the Sabbath. Yeah, right. Which is like the rest day of the celebration day. It was weird being in Dubai, and yeah, Friday was their Saturday.

And then everyone was working on the Sunday. So everyone worked Sunday. Like just a normal day. Like it was a Monday, and it was just weird. But that's just because we're not used to it. No, what we're used to is the Saturday, the Sunday. So everyone worked Sunday. Like just a normal day. Like it was a Monday and it was just weird. But that's just because we're not used to it. No, what we're used to is the Saturday, the Sunday. What you're saying is something's different

to what we've experienced. Yes. You've marked it weird but said it's only weird because it's different to what we're used to. So what you're saying is if you can get used to other people's differences, it's not weird. It's just how they do it.

Yeah. How insightful. Almost poetic of you on a truth day. Isn't it? Yeah, isn't it? Yeah. Once I put the words into your mouth there, that was quite poetic. Yeah, it was.

Thank you. I liked it. So today's fact of the day is according to international standard ISO 8601, Monday is the first day of the week. No, because I always, Monday is the first day of the week. No, because I always thought Sunday was the first day of the week. No, you don't need to read out the ISO. The paragraph. I want to know what international standards 0000 through 8600 are.

No, I'm okay. I'm fine. I'm happy dying tomorrow not knowing the ISO standards international standards? Not knowing. The ISO standards. I want to know what they all are. What a fascinating, just a list of things that we've agreed to. Oh, my God. Internationally. Yeah.

So there you go. Monday's the first day of the week. Cool. That's the best fact of the day. Fact of the day, day, day, Tay, Tay. Oh, my God. I found a list of the international standards. Oh, please don't read them out. And here we go.

Number one. Standard reference temperature for the specification of geometrical and dimensional properties. It was about as thrilling as I thought it was going to be. Yeah, Megan, you've got the latest. That's GPS, GPS. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. My gym bag, which was one of those ones that when you buy like three bottles of booze at duty free, you get a free bag.

You know that grey one? No. And the wheel broke? I take it everywhere. I take it when we go away with work. Wait, that's a gym bag? Yeah, it's my gym bag. Oh, that's embarrassing.

Why is it embarrassing? I don't know. Why is it embarrassing? I don't know, because it just looks like a free bag you get when you book it. I was judging anybody's bag. Who goes to the gym and they're like, oh my God, check out that butch's bag. You just put your bag in the bag for the gym. I don't judge people that use those bags because you got it for free

and that's just what parents do. But it doesn't say. It doesn't have a big brand written on the side. No, no, it's got nothing written on it. It's just great. It was anonymously great. And you didn't even know it had wheels and a pull-out handle. That was hidden.

You can zip it away. That was hidden. It was a boomer's bag. It was a boomer's bag. Maybe a bit of a boomer's bag, but it did the trick. Right. Anyway, at the end of last year, the cat weighed on it. Oh.

See, the cat agrees with me. Bear or Anakin? I assume Anakin. He's getting very old. I say it's almost time. I know. You're going to have some Marley and me situations in your household soon. Yeah.

No, that's why you got bear, wasn't it? So they'd move on. No, I don't know why we keep getting household animals. I'm all for paddock pets. Yep. That's where animals should live, in paddocks. I don't want animals inside. Stupid.

Anyway, the cat proved my point by whittling on my bag. And it wasn't a washable bag. And it's very hard to get cat wee out of it. It smells. And if you keep it, they can smell it even if you can't smell it and they might go again. So it got binned. And I needed a new bag from a gym stuff. So I just looked around the wardrobe and I saw this Country Road bag.

Okay. And so I grabbed it. And that was Sade's Country Road bag. Now I knew that that was Sade's Country Road bag. Okay. And so I grabbed it and that was Sade's country road bag. Now I knew that that was Sade's country road bag. There was a time when you couldn't get on

a flight anywhere without there being 400 country road bags in the overhead lockers. Yeah, when all us girls went away, there was just like country road bag

And they all had black and white stripes or white with black Nordic crosses on them. Oh, have you seen the latest Rangers? I was in there before Christmas.

There's like heaps of colourful ones now. Is there? Yeah. They've gone for a full colour. Like a block colour or like a Yeah, block colour.

All kinds. Yeah, all kinds. Paisley sitch. Right. I didn't know people were still It's so handy. It's like a light duffel bag.

So you can see why perfect for the gym bag. Not perfect for a gym bag because it's material and it's not lined. So if you put your sweaty stuff in there, it's going to soak into the bag. Well, you'd have to wash your country road bag on a light, delicate cycle. On a rig, though.

Delicate cycle. But I knew, I was like, well, I can't see another bag. So I'm just going to use this bag. Yep. Forcing Sade's hand to either buy herself a new bag or buy me a new bag. Buy yourself a new bag. That's how I thought this was going to go. That's how I thought. That's how I predicted the end of

this tale would be told. Yeah. But then yesterday, before the movie situation, actually the day before, she said, because I took the bag away and she said, where's my country road bag? Because she was going out with the gals. Yeah, right.

An overnight bag. I said, I've got it. Because the cat weighed on my bag, and it needed to be binned, and I've got this bag. And she said, oh, well, I need to buy a new bag. And I put up a little bit of faux protest. It's like, you don't need a new bag. Use one of the bags we've got. Wank, wank, wank.

She's like, I'm not taking a suitcase. It's overnight. I said, take a suitcase. She's like, I'm not taking a suitcase. It's overnight. I said, take a suitcase. She said, only the big suitcase is left here. I said, who cares? It's one night. Take the big suitcase. Wink.

And then she messaged me saying, I'm going to get a new bag. I said, you don't need a new bag. And she said, ah. And then 20 minutes later, she messaged me. She said, I looked for a bag. I couldn't find me a new bag. I got you a new gym bag. And that is a story of how with no effort whatsoever,

I got a new gym bag. I used something of hers to force her hand to get me a new one. You're married, so it's your bag either way, isn't it? You've had to pay for that bag. Well, if it came to the divorce, yeah, I would put my foot down and I would want that country run bag. I'd want that overnight soft duffel. Yeah.

But that was risky business because it was only because she couldn't find herself one that you got one. Yeah, it was really a jewel of the fates, man. I wouldn't find myself one at all costs. Lazy you won. Lazy me won because I had to put no effort into getting a new bag. Either way, That's how that is. It's brilliant. I want to know this morning

on 0800 Dial ZM what did your partner get sick, and this can work for guys or girls, what did your partner get sick of you using so they bought another one? Maybe it was for you or maybe they bought themselves another one. Shampoo. I don't know. Example.

But you would run You don't have any hair I'm just I'm just that was an example that came into my head oh you're trying to be relatable to people

who have hair yeah well no that happens I don't have hair but I've got a beard and I shampoo and condition the beard and when Sade gets

talked into because they're always getting talked into by the hairdresser buying for the blonde you need the shampoo if you're going to have a belly arch.

Don't put the purple shampoo in your hair. The purple shampoo. You know what I'm talking about. So I put the purple shampoo in my bed and she was like

are you using the purple shampoo? I was like oh look I'm just using shampoo baby. And she bought me some two in one. Oh yeah okay good.

The head and shoulders. What a great example that was Megan from me. Shampoo. Okay well let's take some calls. 0800 DALES.M 9696. What did your partner get sick of you using so they just bought you your own?

It all started when Vaughn started using his wife's country road bag for the gym. She went out and brought him a gym bag. Yeah, right. As a big power play. Thank God she did. I'm just looking at how much country road bags cost. Megan's like, they're not cheap.

I was like, what, like 30, 40 bucks? No way. $30, $40. They're over $100. Well, I'm seeing pretty much, I think it's the modern take on them, $99. Yeah, they've got a whole lot of, yeah, new ones and designs and stuff. They've been to Kmart. Oh, my God. But these stand the test of time. I've been to Kmart. Oh, my God.

But these stand the test of time. I've had one for years. Oh, you're pretty due an upgrade. I know it shows. You need a new one. I do. You're right. Okay, go today.

Okay. I'll send you the link. So we want to know from you when you've been in this situation, you've been using your partner's stuff. And they just end up buying you a new one or buying you your own so they can have theirs back or buying a new one which means you get to inherit theirs. No effort required on your behalf. It's a great power play.

Mandy, what happened? Well, I'd entered a Spurs and Women's Adventure Race and I didn't have a mountain bike. I just had an urban bike. So I just used to use my husband's all the time and he hated it because it was a really good bike and every time he had to use it, he'd the time, and he hated it because it was a really good bike. And every time he had to use it, he'd have to readjust it and put it back. So I did it pretty much on purpose and got to the point that he just went out and bought me a brand-new mountain bike.

Yes, Mandy, yes. You won. The perfect plan. And was it a decent bike? You didn't skimp on it? No, it was a decent bike. Oh, very good. Very cool.

Now he likes it more than his, so. But that's your bike. That is your bike. So took the plan that game. Yeah, I'd get a lock. Exactly. Hey, thanks you, Cool Mandy. Sarah, was it something you were using or your partner was using?

Hello, no, it was me. I'm notorious for dropping my cell phone and eventually my cell phone sort of gave out and I couldn't make calls or anything off it so I could only text so I just started using his cell phone to, you know, make calls and take photos and log into Instagram

and everything and eventually got so sick of it that I got home one day and ran your iPhone 6 on the table. Oh! I think the thing that annoyed him the most was I kept logging him out of Instagram because at home one day and ran your iPhone 6 on the table. Oh! Yes! Good for you. I think the thing that annoyed him the most was I kept logging him

out of Instagram because he couldn't remember his password and he had to keep resetting his password. Ah. That would be annoying. iPhone 6, Sarah,

it sounds like someone needs to drop their phone again because we're over on iPhone 11 now. I got an extended warranty and everything, so. Oh! Give that thing

a throw on the carpet. Perfect. Yeah. Nice. Hey, thanks you on the carpet. Perfect. Yeah. Nice. Hey, thanks. You call Sarah. Some text messages. My husband insists on wearing my UGG slippers.

He stretched and ruined them. I bought him his own, but he still uses mine. Okay. Just give them those ones. Yeah, and you get the new ones. Yeah. You get the new ones. I got my girlfriend, my girlfriend had a MacBook and she decided that hers was too slow.

So she convinced her mum to buy a new one. And I was using the old one. Yeah. And so I got to keep the old one rather than it being traded in. That's how I play. But that's also, that's a third, you've got a third party involved there. You've got mum. Yeah.

Stepping up to the plate. Yeah. My partner had to purchase another power bank because he said once, can I put this in your bag? And it never left my bag. Oh. So now he has, now he had to go and buy another one

because I claimed his power bank. Do girls get annoyed with that? Because whenever I'm with girls, I'm like, hey, can you put this in your purse, handbag, girl bag or whatever? He will collect like keys, phone, wallet in his hand and have a whole collection of things and then dump it in your bag. Can I put this in the handbag, girl bag or whatever. He will collect like keys, phone, wallet in his hand and have a whole collection of things and then dump it in your bag. I put this in the handbag.

But a power bank's next level because it's big and it's heavy. You're like, can you give me a massage? I've got a crick up my shoulder. No. Because my handbag is so heavy. Full of your junk. Actually, you two do it too. You're welcome.

Only if I have to sit for a long time because I don't want to have to sit on the keys. You got your purse with you? Your purse is so big. This is the line. How much room you got in your purse? That's the line. That's the line. You know it's coming.

That's the line. How much room do you have in your bag? That's my line to how you're about to be told. Somebody said, this is an interesting one. Yeah. My husband was using my perfume, White Diamonds. Is it Elizabeth Ardern? Yeah.

Elizabeth Ardern? I bought him one because he liked it so much. He keeps it in his car, but he still uses mine before he leaves the house. Right. Is it a unisex spray or is it a bit- No, no, it's very- It's very- My nan.

Yeah. Very feminine, very floral. Okay. Very floral. Well, it obviously very... It's very... My nan... Yeah. Very feminine, very floral. Okay. Very floral. Well, it obviously works for him. Yeah. Huh. Like diamonds.

I've always... What's that one that I've got that's real good? Because I love the smell of guys Versace. The twink bait. Versace. It's so good, yes. I, like, love the smell of that. It's so burly for twinks.

But I would have sprayed on me. There's that coming from up the breeze. I was trying to... And then the sharks come after them. Yeah, yeah. It is. It's burly for twanks. But I would have sprayed on me. There's that coming from up the breeze. And then the sharks come after them. Yeah, yeah. It's burly. I was trying to steer the combo away from.