ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Megan Podcast - January 22 2020

Episode Date: January 21, 2020

Midnight Snacks, Am I A Bad Person and Vaughan crashed his drone.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

ZM. Head music. Lusia. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. Thanks, Hash. Good morning. Welcome to the show. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. One minute past six. Megan's deep in the Paris Hilton cooking show. She, I don't know quite why, but in 2020 she's decided she's going to do a cooking show. So it's on YouTube. And I don't know if she intended to be as funny as she is. It's not a great cooking show. She's very funny though. Yeah.

But like you say, kind of unintentionally funny. She's like really upset she has to grate cheese. Yeah, she said she hadn't grated cheese since she was a little kid. She's like, this is brutal. Cheese Louise. She's got a huge chunk of cheese left. She's like, I'm getting another block because I'm going to grate my fingers off.

Oh, she gives up. Everybody knows you've got to grate until you're doing it with your palm flat. And then you just smush it through the holes. Yeah. On the grater. And then break up the little bit that's left and just have big chunks. Or just eat it. Or do you eat it?

You're like, chunk left. Hum. Yeah, okay. You're right, though. You can pull it apart. Depends if you're melting. Chunks of cheese through whatever you're making with cheese in it. Yeah, if you're going to melt it, you can get away with that.

Yeah. She's also like, I don't know what this is. Pulls a spatula out of the drawer. But she seems serious. Oh, God. It's good? I'm so invested. I was hooked after a couple of minutes.

I was like, okay, I could probably watch this. Yeah. That's not enough. It actually tastes any good. All right, you lot, listen up. It's story time. Story time. Three news headlines.

Quickie odd unusual news stories online that I've found. And Vaughn and Megan must pick one headline only. Headline one, Florida man arrested after coming up for air. Headline two, man doesn't think through plan. And headline three, elephant in the room. Oh. Man comes up for air. Was he living in a submarine?

No. That's a good guess, though. I thought you had it. Yeah. Not very submarine? No. That's a good guess, though. I thought you had it. Yeah. Not very submarine-y. Elephant in the room. And story two was vague, too.

What was that? Man doesn't think through plan. Are you Googling elephant? No. You know, that's against the rules of the Geneva Convention and story time. I don't know if the Geneva Convention dealt with that. It's serious. I think it most certainly did.

All-time convention. Oh, I know that story. Is it the elephant, the hotel's unexpected guest? A Sri Lankan hotel had a wild elephant stroll into their lobby. Yes. Yes, it is. Wow. Why did it come in there?

Bananas? Oh, wow. It's like, how did it even get in there? You're ruining story time. I hope you're happy. No, I'm like getting two for one. I think I want to know about the man coming up for air. Yeah. Okay, good. You want that one?

Okay, well we go to Florida now where a man attempted to hide underwater from the police. His not so great escape last week. Deputies were chasing... Is that my sound or yours? Yours. It wasn't mine, it was yours.

Are we sure someone's laptop sound came on? Hmm. He was attempting to hide from deputies on the run, much like an action movie. He went for a river, but unfortunately he needed to come up for air and that's when they found him.

That's pretty much how the story goes. They spotted him when he came to the surface for air and made the arrest. He needs one of those reeds as a breathing stick. Like a bamboo. Yeah. Good plan, yeah. A big straw, but then you'd see the bamboo going down the river.

Yeah, see, and we don't do plastic straws anymore. And a paper straw. It'd go soggy. Maybe you'd go to breathe in and it would collapse on itself. Yeah, that's not going to work. No. That's got's not going to work. No. That's got trouble written all over it. Kiwi teenagers are addicted.

They are addicted to their devices. Like Kiwi adults as well, probably? Yeah, I was thinking that. Like anyone? Because this is a survey that was released from NetSafe. They've done a study that found 47% of 13 to 17-year-olds have come into conflict with friends and family over their use of their devices and how long they spend on them.

Yeah. And a quarter of teenagers said that their grades suffered because of how much time they spend on them as well. I know, like, could you imagine, like, if you'd had a smartphone when you were studying? Like, it was already distracting enough and I was terrible at study anyway. I had text messages.

I didn't have pic. Like, you couldn't see pictures. But we had text and that was distracting enough. There's always been something. Yeah. Was like PlayStation or Nintendo 64 in the late 90s. But anything is distracting as a phone. You know how hard it is now to even leave your phone down, face down.

Yeah. Yeah. I just think there's always been distractions. Before that, the newspaper. They just needed to see what Garfield was doing. And the cartoons. The cartoon, the three panel cartoons. They need to read those and then read the TV listings.

Yeah. But it says a third have gone without sleep and food. I was like, I've definitely gone without sleep, like up at night on your phone. Yeah. And then suddenly you realise what the time is. Even Ross Boss said the other day he gets down in a TikTok rabbit hole and he realises a couple of hours have gone by. It's 11.30, yeah. Yeah.

I mean, I don't think that's exclusive to teenagers, but yeah, they're saying it's quite a problem. They don't think that you should take their devices away because they see there's good stuff on there, but just like balance it out

with socialising and talking to real people. That's overrated. I've talked to some real people. Yeah. Like pretty rubbish. Do you think when your girls get old enough,

you'll be one of those parents who like turns the Wi-Fi off at a certain time? As long as I've got data. Oh, yeah, because I didn't think about that. You'd also be punishing yourself. Yeah. Yeah. I think so.

I always walk in and I'm like, enough time on that. Shut that. I already do it. Enough time on that. Put that down. Turn that off. Go outside. Is that your dad voice? Yeah. How long, enough time on that. Shut that. I already do it. Enough time on that. Put that down. Turn that off. Go outside. Is that your dad voice?

Yeah. How long have you been on that for? Turn it off. Go outside. But the trouble is, and I understand this, if you say turn it off, then the kids are like, what now? Then you'd have to entertain them. I'd be like, turn it back on.

Okay, go my hide and seek. Leave mum alone. Go. Yeah, because then it'd get annoying. Yeah. And then you'd just be like, all right, go back to your iPads. Well, it's a fine balance. Yeah, right.

Play hide and seek with me. No, go back on YouTube. Yeah, you're like, you go hide and then you go have a drink. Yeah. You sit in the wardrobe with the wine. Yeah. Well, it's easier if they go hide because then you don't have to go find them. And then just go hide with the wine, they're going to find you.

You just need a cheeky wee, like, ladder up to the roof. Pull the ladder up and they're not going to find you. They if you hide with a whine, they're going to find you. You just need a cheeky wee like ladder up to the roof. Pull the ladder up and they're not going to find you. They can't get you. Well, the other day I went and sat at the top of the half finished tree house. No one knew where I was for like an hour. It was bloody perfect. Oh, just some me time. Yeah.

Well, no, I didn't intend to do it. It just happened. And I sat out there and I was like, this is nice. I was like, oh, they're obviously up to something. And I got back in and everyone's like, where were you? We couldn't find you. I was like, nowhere. Because I'm not to something. And I got back in and everyone's like, where were you? We couldn't find you. I was like, nowhere. Because I'm not telling them.

Yeah. What a great. Because they'll know where to look. Yeah, right. Okay. You should take a hamper next time. Snacks. Yeah, snacks.

Go up. And then when they find that, just build a bunker. Can you still get Wi-Fi? I've always wanted a bunker. Yeah, great Wi-Fi reception at the treehouse. You've sorted. Sorted. ZM's Fletch treehouse. We've sorted. Sorted. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast.

An Australian YouTuber slash Instagrammer slash influencer has shared how he got a free upgrade on a flight recently to Asia. What airline? So from the looks of it, it's Cathay Pacific. Okay. This wasn't prearranged and he's made it look like he got an upgrade. That's the thing. I've been, I don't think so.

Okay. I don't think so. You've been looking into it? I've been looking into it. So what he did is in the video that he posted on his YouTube channel, which has like 700,000 subscribers, he's on his way to the airport. He stops in at the chemist and pharmacy and buys a moon boot. Right.

So he puts on the moon boot at the airport and boards the plane and then sits in his economy seat and then says, look, I can't fit the moon boot under the seat. It's too bulky. Do you have a roomier seat? And they apparently upgrade him to business. And then the rest of his video is just him in business class. That doesn't work every time

because I've been on a plane in a moon boot and I had to sit my ass in economy the whole flight. Granted, I wasn't like, help me, I'm in a moon boot, can I be upgraded? People would try that on all the time. Yeah. And then I was legitimately in one and didn't get the upgrade. Well, he's been wearing it online because people are like,

well, what about those people that are actually sore and have broken legs and you're ruining it because now they're going to be like, no, don't upgrade them. Yeah. But apparently it worked. It would probably be dangerous. Say he was sitting in, I'm just trying to think of why they would have upgraded him,

and it would have been... This is a photo of him getting off the plane without his moonboat, so he's a cheeky bugger. Oh, my God. So if you had a moonboat on and it got stuck under the seat in front of you, that would make evacuation proceedings quite dangerous, wouldn't it? Oh, yeah. People couldn't get past you.

But then that's the thing you'd say to the crew, oh, look, I'm just worried in an evacuation I couldn't get out in this moon then that's the thing you'd say to the crew oh look I'm just worried in an evacuation I couldn't get out in this moonboat. They'd say oh well you're not flying. Yeah.

Just jokes don't need it. They also told me like what would he have done if they didn't upgrade him just take it off. Because when I had a moonboat they were like

you have to loosen it because of like you know swelling and stuff you have to make sure it's loose so it doesn't like restrict your leg and it can be... It's swelling, yeah. It's swelling and stuff. You have to make sure it's loose so it doesn't, like, restrict your leg.

And it can be quite, like, bad for your leg. Was he just going to sit there in the moon bird if they said no? Well, yeah, I guess he just would have taken it off if they said no. Like, what's he got to lose? They're not going to... Would you have taken it off straight away or would you have given it a... Given it a half a flight? Given it until, like, the crew had gone back for takeoff and then taking it off.

Yeah. Yeah. And then they come back, they're like, how's the moon dirt? What's going on here? I mean, he's walking out of the plane without it on. So he obviously, he's very cheeky. Wow. So yeah, I don't know if he's got a return ticket back,

if that'll even work. How much are moon boots just to buy? Are they spitties or nah? Remember we bought one for Caitlin to see if a moon boot would get her sympathy from guys? Yeah. $59. What? Yeah, $59.

Oh no, that's a snowboard boot. No, you're $59 for a moon boot. St. John Acumove. Who knew St. John did, um, merch? I don't think that's merch. They do merch. What do you mean they sell on those tents at festivals? They're selling their merch.

Like a t-shirt, like a t-shirt. It's a merch tent. St. John. Outfits. St. John 2020, festy life. A lot of, like, highlighter yellow, a lot of reflective strips. Yeah, glow sticks. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Glow sticks for accidents. They have that cool cross symbol. It's Nordic. It's minimalist and it's Nordic. It'll forever be in fashion. Yeah. From the ZM Think Tank, this is The Top Six.

Hello there. We're at the National Library, which isn't one library, but three libraries. Oh, it should be in the National Libraries. The National Library System. The National Library in Wellington. Yeah.

On the corner of Molesworth and Aitken. Yeah. Is open Monday to Friday. Oh, nice. National Library in Auckland. 8 Stanley Street, Parnell. Oh, okay. Open Monday to Friday. Oh, nice. National Library in Auckland. 8 Stanley Street, Parnell. Oh, okay. Open Monday to Friday.

Okay. National Library, Christchurch. Open by appointment. Not big readers. Right, okay. Christchurch, you're late. You have to make an appointment to go and... So what?

Book. It's like every town and even suburb has a library. Yeah. So those would be municipal libraries. But what's the national libraries that just books about New Zealand? National... Well, that's the thing. The 600,000 books that are going to be cleared

are going to be making more room for local stories and Maori and Pasifika stories. So what are they getting rid of? The international ones that maybe there's digital versions of. stories, a Māori and Pacifica stories. The books they're getting rid of are international ones that maybe there's digital versions of. But I've, the Auckland branch of the National Library, it's one of

those libraries that's always got a fun thing happening. Okay, right. And our libraries are like, yeah, fun things are happening. We're cool. Come on down. There's a girl doing a dance here. Now, dancing isn't encouraged in your average library, is it? No. There's a girl doing a dance here. Now dancing isn't encouraged in your average library, is it?

No. It's a quiet place for studious learning. It's like interpretive dancing with no sound. And free Wi-Fi for backpackers. Yeah,

who love to sit on the steps. Yeah. I'd turn that router off when I went home if I was a librarian. Yeah. No, no free Wi-Fi

for you parked up in your old Mitsubishi Delica van with curtains on the windows? No. But 600,000 books is a phenomenal amount of books. Have they heard of Kindles?

Well, that's a room saver. Put the National Library on a Kindle. That's a room saver, isn't it? Yeah. But the top six things to do with 600,000 books. Number six. One of those annoying $1 book sales where every book is $1 and it's really hard to ignore because you're walking past

and you're like, books are usually more than $1. There might be something in here. And you spend an hour going, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Read it. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. And not actually buying anything. But just flicking through a whole lot. Number five on the list of the top six things to do with 600,000 books.

Paper mache Kiwi build houses. Anybody? That's a great idea. Yeah. Yeah. Get some coat hangers. That's how they held their strength. Paper mache.

Yeah. You could do an egg glue. Yeah, book egg glue. Do a paper mache egg glue. Yeah. What glue do you use? PVA? Or isn't that clear sticky stuff

you can make it on? Oh, hell no. You start out by getting it really wet, eh? Yeah. But it would be wet. You're right. But if you can make it on? You'd start out by getting it really wet, eh? Yeah. But it would be wet, you're right. But if you were doing it over a balloon, you'd have to vas up the balloon. You'd have to rub Vaseline on the balloon so there was no adhesion

when you popped the balloon. Now I just want to make a fake skin PVA on my hand. And be like, oh, yeah. And peel it off. Leprosy. Number four on the list of the top six things to do with 600,000 books. Build a fake library. Oh, okay.

Like, glue all the books together so you can't read them. One book is like you pull it down and it opens a lever into a secret. The Batcave or something. Just some sort of secret access panel. It's cool. Yeah. Just for the look. And, you know, with 600,000, you could probably pick the nice-looking books. Yeah. It's cool. Yeah. Just for the look. And, you know, with $600,000,

you could probably pick the nice-looking books. Yeah, the leather ones. Number three on the list of the top six things to do with $600,000 books, write Bible on them and then just put them in the bed so it draws of every hotel room in New Zealand. That's a good way to get rid of books. No one's going to check. No one's going to know.

No one's going to check. Number two on the list of the top six things to do with 600,000 books the National Library is having a clear out of. Set them free. Back into the wild. Have you ever seen a book in the wild? Set them free. No.

No. Because they're endangered. So we need to set the books back into the wild. Right. Just chuck them into the forest. I was thinking we should put them behind one of those predator fences. Okay, yeah. So that things that eat books can't get them.

Yeah. Like possums and magazines. Yeah. Do we need to tag them so we can keep an eye on them? That's actually a great idea. That's a great idea. Just keep an eye because they're a herd creature, so they move as a herd.

And number one on the list of the top six things to do with 600,000 books. Burn them. What a fire. Wouldn't it be? Wouldn't it be? I'd go and watch. I think the Germans did something like that. Didn't they?

Yeah, just emptied out the libraries and burnt them all in front. So that's one bad thing the Germans have done. Keep a score, are we? Poor bloody Germans That is today's top six Flesh, Vaughan and Megan The podcast ZM

A silly sausage has been caught cheating on his wife He went to a Actually is it football? I actually don't know what sport it is Ice hockey? I don't know Maybe I think I know the video.

No, it's the football playoffs, so it might have been NFL. There's a CBS sports reporter that has shared this video, which is why it's gone crazy. And the video is of the kiss cam. It's this guy in the crowd. He's got his arm around

a girl beside him. And they have a little sneaky kiss. Now, it wasn't as if they were like, kiss, kiss, kiss. And then they cut to them and they were like, oh, okay, kiss. They were already having a wee smoochy and the camera cut to them. Right. So they're sharing a wee moment. And he then turns

and sees that he is on the big screen smooching this woman. His arm swiftly gets taken from around her. Yeah. And he puts his elbows on his knees, looks down, and he looks like he's seen a ghost.

He looks real sheepish. Wow. And the CBS sports reporter that shared this said, when you kiss her side chick and realise your marriage is over because you're on camera. Now, that was just an assumption given the way he looked. He looked so guilty.

Now this is circulated everywhere. Nickelback, their Twitter account weighed in. Nickelback? What? It kind of feels like this caption nailed it. Hashtag oops. Wow. Nickelback.

Relieve them of their social media duties. Now, he initially changed his Facebook status, the guy, to it's complicated. Oh, okay. And has since spoken. Now, he said, if it was a woman in my place, what would you do? Various videos have been circulating of unfaithful women, but they haven't been made fun of as much as me. Oh, what? I hope you made fun of as much as me.

Oh, what? I hope you never have to be in my position. We all fail and we all repent. I hope this doesn't serve you in any way because you are only hurting a son of God. What? Okay, so, wow. Yeah. Playing the God card and the man card.

Wow. Every card he has. Feel sorry for him. Everyone fails and we can forgive from our hearts. Or, I mean, it's not us that needs

to forgive you, mate. No, it's probably your wife. Ballsy move, cheating on your wife and taking a date to a public event. Yeah. Isn't it?

Like, I'd imagine you're in a city. But you'd think that you've got the anonymity of a crowd. You don't expect the camera to zoom in on that moment. Wow.

So is it a football game in Ecuador? Right. From what I can see from a bit of further investigation. So Ecuadorians love their football. Right. Highly televised event. So. Oh, dear. Wow, okay. Highly televised event. So. Oh, dear.

Wow. Yeah. Fleshfauna Megan, the podcast, ZM. How do you spell our mate's name? Nay. How do you spell Nay's name? Jesus, what a name. Is it N-E-U or N-U?

N-G. No. No. N-E-H. There's a G in there. Ah, there it is, N-E-H. Nay, yes. It's like the country of Norway. There's a G in there. Ah, there it is, N-E-H. Nah, yes. It's like the country of Norway.

There's a G in there. No, there's no G. Nay-ew-an. Is there no G? No, N-E-H. I thought it was a silent G. U-E-N. You're thinking about me.

Nay, but we just say nay. Nay-ew-an. Yeah. I thought it was a silent G. No, it's Argentinian. Ooh. Yeah. Ooh-la-la.

I'm just going to message him the photo of my broken drone. Not the drone itself, but the blades. This is how our friend actually works for the drone people. Yeah. Because I was going to buy some blades. He got me a deal. I got you a deal. Like a package deal.

Right, okay. I wasn't going to ask for free blades, and then Fletch is like, don't buy them. Ask him if he's got any lying around. Just ask him. Like, if I worked at work and someone was like, oh, I broke him a Britney Spears CD,

I'd just get one from here. There's no Britney Spears CDs here. We don't do CDs anymore. I couldn't think of a good example on the spot. Post Malone. No, we just don't do CDs. No, we just don't do CDs. No, we just don't do CDs.

Yeah, we just don't do CDs anymore. Have you messaged him between buying your drone and asking for blades for your drone? Yeah, but it's always drone related. It's always drone related news. Yeah. So you don't want to be one of those people that only message when you want something.

Oh God, like how annoying is it when a concert sells out and everyone's like, can I have some free tacos? Hey man, how are you? I haven't talked to you in ages.

there's still tickets available. And a three, and a two, and a... Got any tickets to that? Always happens. Anyway,

yeah, so I'm just going to message him and say that it finally, it finally happened. I crashed it. Is this your first drone crash? I've crashed it. Yep. At it finally happened. I crashed it. Is this your first drone crash?

No, I've crashed it. Yep. At mum and dad's, I crashed it into a big willow tree. Because willow trees hang down. You'll think of a willow tree. Oh, yeah, yeah. And some of the strands were longer than others. And it didn't use its beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep to tell me

because it didn't sense the willow. It senses like solid objects. Right. But not the willow anyway. It crashed into the willow tree and it fell, but then it was fine. Yeah. It was fine.

And there was a time at the beach, I took it to the beach, and it was running out of batteries. It wasn't over the water or anything, but it came in and it had a bit of a rough landing. Right. And the wind blew it upside down. Remember that time you crashed the work one into the ocean?

I was regaling some friends of mine. That story yesterday. And I just swam out to it and it was smoking. They call it a waterproof drone because you could take your fishing line out on it. Yeah, but who makes a waterproof drone that doesn't float? Because it was submerged. Madness. And also not waterproof.

It turns out it wasn't waterproof. It turns out. Smoking. I've been using my drone a little bit more lately. Okay. Why? Well, I'm doing an experiment. I'm watering this part of the grass and I take a drone photo for like a bird's eye view of

the grass every day to compare if it's any greener than the grass that's not getting additional watering. Oh, of course it's going to be greener. No, but I want to know how long. I want to know if there's any major difference. I know it's going to be greener, but is it worth the effort? Did you just listen to yourself? What happened to you?

What happened to your corn from the 2000s? No, no, no, no, no, no. Boomers wouldn't send a drone up to check if grass is growing. They'd just lock. Yeah, right. Bringing some tech to the boomer interests. So anyway, I put the drone up and I took a photo. Do you want to see it?

Not really, no. No, not really at all. See, this is where the sprinkler is. See that green patch there? Oh, okay, that does look a lot greener. Yeah, so... But why are you surprised? But investigation done.

No, I've been taking one every day since I put it there. It actually took a lot longer than you would imagine. How many days is that with water? That one there would have been three days. And the sprinkler goes on for five minutes every three hours. This is a science fair. You'd fail. My hypothesis is that if I water the grass...

The grass will be greener. So what, you get your drone up to take this photo? Yeah, and then I was like, while it's up, I check the animals. Yeah. It's not like I live on an Australian outback million acre farm. You could literally walk over in one minute. 100%. But the drone's up, so I go and check on the animals.

Make sure they're all good. Do they not mind the drone being like... They don't mind it too much. I don't get too close to them. I don't want to try to freak them out. And then I made this little trough for them, so I checked if that still had water in it, and as you can see, that's got water in it.

Next photo, oopsie-daisy. That's even up close. And then those are the broken blades. So you're taking the ends off them, like an inch. Wow. What did you hit? The fence. I put it on sport mode because I was feeling a little bit fast and loose.

Oh, and does that take off the safety? It takes off the sensors and everything. So I navigated in over the trough, under a tree, like just over a fence. It was quite precision, if I do say so myself. But then I was like, well, I turned it and I was like, well, I can't see the fence and it's not beeping. So obviously the fence isn't there. Straight into the fence. Oh, bless.

Yeah. Oh, bless. So I've got to get some new blades. Okay. How much new blades have you had to buy them? So I'm trying to find the best deal. But now I see there's low noise propellers. Oh, God.

There's low noise blades. Does your wife know that you've even broken those ones? Yeah. Yeah, she knows because I said, Indy, I've crashed the drone, and she was like, Dad's crashed the drone. And then I came back in,

and we were just looking at it. That's fine. Right. She wouldn't tell me off. So wait, how quickly do you need your blades? Because you're going to need your water comparison, your lawn comparison. I have a spare set of blades and I've engaged them. Right.

And you now need backup blades. Took off. But yeah, now I need another set of blades for next summer crash. Because it's an inevitability. It's an inevitability. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. Chrissy Teigen has revealed something about herself that has everyone going, ah, what?

What? She has a little midnight snack. She has said that she doesn't sleep if she's not full. Right. So she eats. That's my girl. Well, it's bad to go to sleep, isn't it, if you're hungry? Because your body, something, something, something.

Okay. Okay, it's important if you're going to make that up to have something that sounds semi-believable to go after. No, I'm not making it up because then your body

doesn't your body just No, I don't think it does. It goes to sleep, doesn't it? It's real hungry. So it's like, oh, I'm always hungry. I couldn't go to sleep. But how good

is going to sleep full? Oh, there's nothing like it. And I'm pretty sure it's not good for you to go to sleep. No, I don't like it because I'm like I don't like being really full. No. It's nothing like it. And I'm pretty sure it's not good for you to go to sleep full. No, I don't like it. I don't like being really full. No. It is good. No. It is good. Okay, if you

go to bed on an empty stomach, insulin levels drop. Insulin? Insulin? Insulin. Insulin levels drop. Yeah. So what, a little pre... Well, she does. Because I read this as well. Boiled eggs she takes to bed, right? Yeah. So she goes to bed full and then she said,

I can't sleep without being overly full. I take two hard boiled eggs to bed every night and then I eat them when I randomly wake up. It used to be beef jerky, but I'd wake up too puffy. Oh, you can't eat beef jerky in the middle of the night. It's too chewy. No, the good thing about a boiled egg is straight in. Protein.

Yeah. It's an approach. I thought John Lenton would have to put up with those egg farts, though. No, the good thing about a boiled egg is straight in. And then go back to sleep. Protein. Yeah. And a pro. I've never. I thought John Lenton would have to put up with those egg farts, though. I actually must admit, I have at one stage of my life had wake-up snacks. It was when I was clocking in over 100 kgs, though. And I remember it because Sade's mum, I'll never, bought this chocolate. Was it a chocolate whiskey cake?

Do you remember those? It was that place that had chocolate whiskey cakes. It was like a chocolate mug cake, but it had like a whiskey tang to it. Okay. And she bought it for my birthday. I'm the last one in February, so we'd been through a few birthdays. Yeah. And everyone else was like, I'm caked out.

But if I woke up in the middle of the night, I'd be like, I could go and slice that cake. And I'd go and get myself a little slice of cake and then go back to bed. So like a slice of chocolate cake. I've never had like a midnight snack. Like woken up and been like, I'm hungry. No, but I know people, a lot of people do.

Maybe like water because I'm thirsty or something. But never food. Oh, I wake up in the weekends because we obviously get up early during the week and then we eat breakfast early. But in the weekends, I wake up early and I'm like, oh, I'm so hungry. Go back to sleep, go back to sleep.

Because you're going to eat. But you're not going to have two breakfasts. You're not going to have snacks. No, because that involves getting up too. Like, I don't want to get out of my warm bed. Also a lot of admin and making boiled eggs. Like, you've got to peel them. Yeah.

Boil them. But you boil them right and then you drop them in ice water and it makes them easier to peel. Oh, she'd have it down. Chrissy would take it down. Yeah, she knows all about that. She'd have someone to do that for her probably. No, she loves cooking.

Do you think she actually cooks or is it just a start? I reckon she just pops a pot. No, no, no, she cooks. Can you get hard boiled eggs on her braids? facade? I reckon she just pops a pop. No, no, no, she cooks. Can you get hard-boiled eggs on her breaks? Remember when I said I wanted to start a food truck and all it dealt with was coffee and hard-boiled eggs and everyone scoffed at me? Because nobody is stopping for a coffee and a hard-boiled egg.

It's the ultimate on-the-road snack. What? A hard-boiled egg. And then you're eating it in the car and everyone's like, phew. Muffins are great snacks in the car. No. Not hard-boiled eggs. So then you're eating it in the car and everyone's like, phew. Muffins are great snacks in the car. No. Not hard-boiled eggs. So many calories and butter in a muffin.

I'm talking about an on-the-road, easy-to-eat, pre-peeled maybe. You're sure? Pre-peeled hard-boiled egg. Right, okay. Would have been a great food truck. Again, I miss old Vaughan. Listen to him. Yeah.

Like, too many snacks, too many calories. No, no, no, but that's what I'm saying. Oh, God, old- Other people are looking for- Old Vaughan used to get up at one o'clock and have some whiskey cake. Have a slice of delicious whiskey cake. Well, can we take some calls? Are there people listening now?

Maybe you're listening now. Do you do midnight snacking or like mid-morning snacking? Do you prepare it like Christy T. Yeah. Do you wake up so hungry that you have to eat before you go back to sleep? There would definitely be people who have snacks in their bedside table, right? I don't. Maybe like if you've just gone,

maybe the night before you've been watching a movie in bed and you've got like, I don't know, leftover Maltesers or something. That's allowed. You'd want your midnight snack to be pretty soft. Yeah. And not loud. You'd want a dull sensory experience.

Right. You wouldn't want super loud. You wouldn't want super loud, you wouldn't want sharpness. Sloppiness. Yeah. Maltese is perfect. Yeah.

Alright, well, 0800DARLS.M give us a call and you can text as well 9696. Are you a midnight food snacker? Talking about Chrissy

taking eggs to bed. As a bedside snack, she wakes up hungry. She says she just eats a hard-boiled egg to get back to sleep. So we want to know, do you have, are you a midnight snacker? None of us are really big midnight snackers.

Have been, but only for cake. But it is interesting. People are messaging and calling in. People do this. Yeah. Lots of people. I guess they just can't get through the night. Susan, you're a midnight snacker?

Yeah, well, I'm not anymore. I trained myself out of it, but I was for about 10 years. I used to have a banana every night about 4am. Wow. Okay. So you just wake up starving? Yeah. So I was a very

active person. I'm a gym instructor, so always on the go. But yeah, I just was starving. So how did you train yourself out of it? Did you just eat later? I'd eat before I went to bed. And then if I woke up hungry, I'd just scull a whole lot of water to try and stop me wanting to eat. Right, right, right.

But at least you were eating a banana. Like that's, you know, you're five plus a day. You're already on to that at 4 a.m. You know, like, because a lot of people are snacking on, you know, high-carb foods. Yeah, well, my husband wasn't too impressed when I would sometimes bring an apple or a carrot to be able to eat a banana. Yeah, yeah, crunchy. And that's not good. Yeah, no, yeah. Bananas are silent.

That's true. Richard, you're a midnight snacker? Yeah, only sometimes. I'm a diabetic, so sometimes you get the odd low. Yeah, yeah, so, well, actually, sometimes it happens quite a lot, actually. And one time I went out into the kitchen, you're walking in like a zombie and you're just constantly hungry. So I went in and I just started eating a chicken that we had bought from the supermarket. Yeah.

Fifteen minutes later and I'm still hungry and the whole chicken's gone. You devoured an entire chicken, Richard. Yeah. That's not the embarrassing part. The worst part was I was still hungry afterwards, so I went into the fridge and there wasn't much left and I went into my kids' lunch boxes for the next day. Oh, wow.

Brilliant. Yeah. Yeah, I had to remake their lunch the next morning. Unless you had something to remake it with. I would have just sent them to school and given them a surprise when they had realised they had... With an IOU note and five bucks. Thanks, Richard.

Zach, you're a midnight snacker? Yeah, so I used to religiously take a bedtime sandwich to bed. Okay. And that would be... Yeah. So, yeah, bulk up on the carbs just before we go to sleep. Okay. What was on your sandwich?

What kind of Sammy were you rocking? It would change. Usually I'd have a bit of a sweet tooth, so I'd go the thick layer of peanut butter and marmalade. Oh, okay. Peanut butter and marmalade? So you'd always eat this just as you're about to fall asleep? Yeah, so I'd get ready for bed, brush my teeth,

do all that kind of stuff, make my sandwich, jump into bed. Okay, but then you were eating marmalade and you didn't brush your teeth again? Yeah, I don't. It's counterproductive, but no. Brush them in the morning. Yeah, brush them in the morning. Yeah, exactly. No stress.

Thanks, you cool Zach. Some text messages. Somebody said, friends of mine have one of those drawers in their bed base. You know in the bed base? Oh, yeah, that's what I have. Good for storage. Well, that was their snack drawer. They had in the bed base? Oh yeah, that's what I had. Good for storage. Well, that was their snack drawer.

They had one on each side and they'd dip into it during the night. Often they'd eat dinner in bed and leave half the dinner and put it in their snack drawer and then in the middle

of the night open the drawer and finish their dinner. I'm sorry, that's manky. Yuck. That's weird. What are you putting

in like half a stir fry? Is that like... What about rats? Yeah, and what about like getting sick? Like you're just leaving your chicken in room temperature? Yeah, only for a few hours. Right. Should be right.

My husband used to keep a lolly jar next to the bed and wake up in the middle of the night to have a few lollies. But then that gives you that sugar rush, doesn't it? You're not getting back to sleep then if you're having something like that. Somebody said the best sandwiches I used to take to bed were chocolate peanut and salted caramel toasties. Oh, my God. They'd still be a little bit warm when you woke up to eat them. I've never thought about a sweet toasty.

Yeah. Like, nah, because when I have a to toasty I'm in the mood for Something carby Like when you have bread And cheese And then in there you have Spaghetti Yup

Like it's And then you have to put Lots of butter on To make it golden brown In the toasty machine That's the way to do it Yeah My partner's a huge

Midnight snacker I've woken up to chicken bones On the side table That weren't there When we went to bed And we won't talk about the bite marks in the cheese block from a few years ago after a few drinks. What a monster.

Straight in there. No way. Straight teeth and all. Yeah, lots of people. Midnight Snackers. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. Bad news, four babies born in January.

Is this like one of those posts like tagging your friend January they're the worst cooks. I just got tagged in one of those in June and I'm actually a 10 out of 10 cook in the kitchen. Are you? As long as it's an omelette or a stir fry or Tom Yum soup. Oh my god I actually had a dinner omelette last night. How did you know?

You just love a dinner omelette. Vaughn brought the eggs in from the farm let. And I was like well I've got to start using these. I was like dinner omelette. Vaughan brought the eggs in from the farmlet. And I was like, well, I've got to start using these. I was like, dinner omelette it is. Did they make it home in your backpack? Yes. Oh, good on you.

How were the eggs? Oh, they're amazing. They're very eggy. They're fluoro orange. They're very eggy. Yeah, you realise when you compare your... They're free range on crack. Yeah, when you compare yours to the supermarket ones.

They are on crack. That's my secret compare yours to the supermarket ones. They are on crack. That's my secret. So the bad news for January babies, and this is probably something people born in January already know, is that they don't get as many Christmas presents. I mean, as many presents as everyone else, birthday presents, because of Christmas. I would have thought December babies would have been more affected.

Yeah. But then I suppose Christmas is the end of December. So if you're at the start of December, you're further away from Christmas than the start of January. Yeah. But then wouldn't parents have the chance to buy Boxing Day specials for their kids' birthdays? That's true.

But I always found it hard. My dad's the 19th of December. Oh, yeah. And it's hard enough being like, what am I going to get him for Christmas when you've got to get him a birthday present as well? And he gets rude. His thing is don't use Christmas paper on his birthday present.

Yeah, because it's... Separate. It's rude. It's separate. But they've calculated that January babies will almost miss out on $2,500 New Zealand dollars worth of presents in their lifetime. Jeez. Wow. $2,500. Also dollars worth of presents in their lifetime. Jeez.

Wow. $2,500. Also, is it because people are out of money? Yeah. Like you've done Christmas and New Year's and then you've got to buy your friend a present. It's like they're getting a scaled down present. Yeah, and it's all the social stuff you end up doing.

You're going out for dinners and drinks and yeah. It's only $33 a year that you're missing out on. That's one present. But you get to have your birthday in like the summer months. So chill out. I know because I'm a July baby and it's always nasty weather. It's always cold and rainy. Yeah.

Kind of reflective of your personality. Now your family has a lot of birthdays coming up. Yours is soon. February. Yeah, February is a heavy month. Right. I have noticed that none of us have received an invite to any kind of birthday slash pool party at your house.

I don't think there will be a birthday or pool party. Well, how are you going to celebrate your birthday? Because I don't want one. But last year, it was great. There was a large platter. Yeah. And shenanigans. It was great.

That's it. That's me for years. Years to come. Or does Sade want a pool party? No, she doesn't want a pool party. She said she wants. Well, we want a pool party. All she wants for her birthday is a nice dinner and a bottle of perfume.

All she wants. Is it? She says that, but she wants a pool party with her friends. She doesn't want a pool party. She does. She doesn't want a pool party. She definitely does. She definitely wants one.

With a platter and friends. She's had enough. No, we had a New Year's Eve. We had a New Year's Eve thing and you two weren't here. That was your choice to leave the country. That's the one social gathering a year that I can stand. And you only invited me because Sade told you you had to invite me. No, because I knew you weren't here for New Year's Eve.

And then Sade's like, Megan and Andrew are leaving that resort. Are they going to be home? And I was like, no, I'm sure they're not. They're there for longer. I knew. No, I didn't invite you, Megan, because I knew your itinerary, which shows I'm a better friend than Sade. Okay.

I knew it was actually safe to have something at our house because you were both away So you were out of work That's rude There's still time To change your mind In fact Megan and I Might just come round

One weekend That's the better way to do it Because then I don't have Time to Make up an excuse I know what to get you For your birthday Some meat

That you can put on The grill And then I can eat it Exactly Good from you That's a trick Okay Alright I'll bring some meat Round you can put on the grill and then I can eat it. Exactly. Good from you. That's a trick. Okay.

All right. I'll bring some meat round as well. Oh, great. I'll put them in the fridge for later and everyone's like, what about now? ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. The trad wife movement is what we want to talk about now. Traditional wives. It's been trending on Twitter and it's massive in the UK. Now, the person

that seems to be spearheading this is, she's a YouTuber and she runs something called the Darling Academy, which is a femininity finishing school. Okay. Yep. So she has done a YouTube video on how to start being a traditional wife. I mean, me in particular, I grew up in a generation where I was encouraged to go and break glass ceilings. I was encouraged to be aggressive, become quite masculinized in a way. It was almost as if as soon as I became 11 and went to high school, being feminine just wasn't cool anymore. Oh, my God.

So, you'll see growing up with the Spice Girls girl power made her uncomfortable. So, the idea is these people just want to be traditional wives. Yeah, housewives. Right. Like the old, how you would imagine it. Like in the 50s or something. Yeah. Yeah, nana. Right. Like the old, how you would imagine it. Like in the 50s or something. Yeah.

Yeah, nana. Right. Now, don't get me wrong. The whole point of feminism is that it's your choice. You can do whatever. If you choose to do that and it makes you happy, go for it. I'm all for it. The problem I have is that, so they're promoting this as this is how women should be and how

they should treat their husbands and that there's something wrong with girl power, which, I mean, each to their own. She's just got a different definition of girl power, though. She does. Her girl power is, like, housewifing. Super housewifing. Yeah. And there's something she says, like I don't think that she has a job

that she goes to work and gets paid for. She stays home and she does the cooking and the cleaning and she said, I wouldn't expect my husband to come home after a long day at work and cook dinner. She has that prepared for him. I'm like, that's cool. Well, if she's at home

and that's what she accepts her responsibilities as and I think that that's cool. Well, if she's at home and that's what she accepts her responsibilities as, then I think that that's fair. Yeah. But, I mean, I just don't think. It does seem like a little bit of a step backwards, doesn't it? It does, just a little bit. Well, not for him. He gets to come home for a bit.

Sure, he's not going to blame it. He's like, keep up this YouTube thing. This is powerful. I think you've got to double down on those meals. I was thinking, you know, why settle for a home-cooked dinner when we could have a home-cooked breakfast before work as well?

I think your YouTube people would like that. And you know what else your YouTube people would like? Fabric softener in the wash. I think that would be good. Yeah. Your wash in the clothes. You know, you pour a little bit of fabric softener. I should set a YouTube channel about domestic.

No, don't promote this because it's wasteful and it's bad for the environment. Pour a little fabric softener in the cistern on the toilet and your skids won't stick. Yeah, and then you just pour it down the drain. No, I've got a problem with that because one flush and it's gone. Yeah. That's what I'm thinking. We need some sort of slow-release fabric softener. Like a Blue Lou. Yeah. Just get a Blue Lou. Yeah, okay. what I'm thinking. We need some sort of slow release fabric softener. Like a blue loo.

Yeah. Just get a blue loo. Yeah, okay. Get one of those. I quite like those. But then if there's a civil defence emergency you can't...

It's not good for the tank because I'm on a septic. Oh yeah, that's true. But you can't... Drink the water. Drink the water in your toilet when there's a civil defence emergency. Oh, it would have to be

like real bad. Mix it with a little Midori. I reckon you don't even taste it. Put a straw straight in there. Or some blue crackle. I'd put it in the soda stream, yeah. And then add little Midori I reckon you don't even taste it Put a straw straight in there Or some blue crackle I'd put it in the soda stream Yeah And then add some Midori

Some cocktail mixes Hello Yeah Civil Defence emergency Just got fun ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan The podcast Trivago

They advertise A lot They How much would they spend on TV advertising In New Zealand alone It would be millions of dollars Like there wouldn't be an ad break Where there isn't an ad for Javago

You know how celebrities get sick of saying Their catchphrases down the road Like you see them and people will be like Say it Oliver But she would get people walking past her You know like they've got catchphrases I can't think of anyone that's got a catchphrase now. Like a celebrity with a catchphrase.

Oh, you know what was the catchphrase you just used? I just said blah, blah, blah. Oh. I couldn't think of a catchphrase. I thought you said something and I was like, my brain just did not process that at all. Or like when people ask the weather people, what's the weather like?

Or just anything like that. You'd walk past her and I'd be like, hotel. She'd be like, She'd be Pavlov dog situation. She'd be trained. It'd be an instinct. Hotel, flea market. It'd just come out of her.

I reckon she would not be able to say it. Probably not, no. Well, they're in trouble because it has been, so it turns out they've had 18 complaints to the Commerce Commission since they launched five years ago in New Zealand. Do you guys use them?

No. Because I don't like when you search a hotel on there it gives you the price for a night and I'm always like that is so cheap for a couple of nights

and then you click through and it's like double that because it's two nights. Yeah. Oh, because you've gone to book for two nights but it tells you per night. I want the total price. That's like when you go to buy something but it's not, they Yeah. Oh, because you've gone to book for two nights, but it tells you per night. I want the total price.

That's like when you go to buy something, but they're not priced by each, they're priced by grams. Yeah, yeah. Cheeky buggers. Per hundred grand. Yeah. Well, they're in trouble

because it has been discovered that their rankings were actually on which online hotel booking sites would pay Trivago the most commission for insuring the booking. So if a hotel room was $200, these are just figures I'm making up, but of that $200,

they were willing to pay Trivago $20 and another one was $200, but they were only willing to pay Trivago $10. The $10 one was way down the list. But then it wasn't giving customers, was it giving customers a higher price? No, it would just give preferential treatment to whoever was going to give them the most commission.

Well, why do people care about that? Like, as long as I'm getting the cheapest. What's getting the, what's the best deal for you? Not what's the best deal for Travaga. That's the thing, I don't really, I don't scroll down the list much. I'm always just like, read the first couple.

Yeah. But I've used them before and I've found like, cheaper hotels. Good deals. Yeah. Like I've been on Expedia, but then they,

don't they own Expedia as well? Expedia can't own Travago. Yeah. Like everyone owns everyone. But then I've always, if they are willing to, if the hotel's willing to do that through Travago,

could you not directly contact the hotel and say, hey, I was going to book this in Trivago, but I understand you have to pay a commission. Would you do me the same price or maybe a little bit? Oh my God, can you imagine the life admin of calling like the Philippines to ask the hotel? Oh yeah, that could be. This is born.

That could be problematic. I'm pretty sure we've done this in New Zealand. Really? Yeah, when we've been going away for a weekend to a place and we see a deal online and we ring them and we're like, you probably have to pay commission, right? And they're like, yeah. And I'll be like, well, should we just pay you directly?

How about you drop the commission and just... Did it work? Yeah. Actually. That's actually a really good idea. But what a punish. That's not that much of a punish. What, making a phone call?

Yeah, and having to talk to someone. It's better than having to sign up for Trivago and then they just bombard you because you once looked about the possibility of going to, for example, Napier. Oh, yeah, Airbnb do that. You just get told every week about all the great deals at Napier. It was a fleeting thought. I thought I might like to do one of those bicycle between the vineyards.

Which is completely legal, right? Yeah, I think so. As long as you're not that drunk. As long as you spit it out. Airbnb is bad for that. You search a weekend in Napier once and every two days it's like, do you still want to go to Napier? Hey, hey, here's some legs hoping to Napier.

No, nothing against that. I'm sure there's lots of things happening. Why do all the buildings look the same there? and every two days it's like, do you still want to go to Napier? Hey, hey, here's some legs helping to Napier. Yeah. No, nothing against that. I'm sure there's lots of things happening. Why do all the buildings look the same there? Vaughan said that to a taxi driver once and then we had to listen to the history of the Napier earthquake. Which I'm very well aware of because I did a history study on it at school,

but it does, people from Napier love that. You can try that. That's a freebie. If you go to Napier love that. You can try that. That's a freebie. That's a freebie. If you go to Napier for a vineyard cycling situation, you can ask them why their buildings look the same. Am I a bad person? Okay, something a little bit different for Am I a Bad Person?

We are going to be joined on the phone by the actual person wanting to know what she should do. Yeah, normally people like to remain anonymous, but that's good. Jessica, hello. Good morning, guys. All right, so what's your moral predicament, your conundrum? Well, basically, I started seeing a guy early last year. Okay. He actually slid into my DMs. Yeah. But basically, we were seeing each other for a little bit, and it kind of broke down because I do live far away, and I had, like, someone in my family got very ill. Okay. So that took a lot of my time.

And we kind of just broke down in communication, and we just stopped talking. Okay. Like, fast forward, like, a month or two, and he noticed that I was back in Auckland, and we started stopped talking. Okay. Like fast forward like a month or two and he noticed that I was back in Auckland and we started chatting. Yeah. So that was fine. We got back to just being normal and I actually had one of those moments

where your heart just sinks because I actually saw on my Instagram that he was on The Bachelorette. Which starts on Monday, TVNZ2. Yes. Right. So I was a little bit like, oh, like I've missed my kind of opportunity to like tell him how I feel.

Like, because it wasn't like that I didn't feel anything for him. It was just really bad timing. Yeah, right. Yeah. And he understood that and he's super lovely. We still talk all the time, but I was just wondering like what I should do about it. Do you think I should mention it

or do you think I should just leave it? So, yeah. Yeah, wow. Okay. So you want to know if you're a bad person for telling him how you feel, essentially. Yeah, well, it's just because of his situation at the moment. Like, obviously, soon he's probably going to blow up and be in the public eye. I just don't want him to think that's the reason.

Right. It just was one of those moments where you see something You're like, oh, okay Your heart sinks and you're just like You've kind of missed your opportunity And I'm like, well, I don't really know what's happened Because we do still talk And he obviously can't tell me what's going on What kind of talking is it?

Is it like flirtatious? Like, you guys No, he's just the nicest person Like he wouldn't, yeah. Right. So you want to know if you're a bad person for telling him how you feel? Yeah. Because he's about to be, yeah, because it's a lot to put on him, right?

Because he's going to be on this show. Yeah, and I guess he is going to have a lot of attention. He's going to be investing in another relationship. But hey, we haven't seen the show yet. It could be bad attention. You might not want to do with him. But also, I feel like people don't go on this show really, I mean, you know, most of the time it's just attention, isn't it?

It's just for the experience, isn't it? People want to find someone. He's kind of the nice guy, though, so I think he went with good intention. Right. But obviously, I don't he went with good intentions. Right. But obviously I don't know what happened. Okay. Well, I mean, maybe people have been

someone listening now has been in this situation where, you know, you've maybe waited to tell someone how you feel about them. Because, yeah, and you see them move on a little bit. Are you the bad person for them being like, hey, I actually really like you? Yeah, and you just wonder like, oh, is it a bit late or...

Yeah. Yeah. Okay, all right, well, give us a call. 0800-DARLS-AT-M-9696. Is Jessica a bad person for telling this guy how she feels? Am I a bad person? Jess joined us on the phone. She has an interesting predicament.

She'd been chatting to a guy and circumstance meant, like meant distance and everything. They couldn't be together, but they've still been chatting and she still has feelings for him and that's when she sees him pop up on The Bachelorette. So he is going to be a contestant on The New Zealand Bachelorette.

She wants to know if she's a bad person for now coming forward and being like, hey, I actually really like you. Now that he's kind of moved on. Does that just look like she's saying that because he's going to be on the TV? Yeah, well that's another thing she's worried about. But what made it

not work previously was moving apart because of sick family members. So it wasn't like she just bailed. So now he's going to be on TV if she wants in, right? So is she a bad person for bringing this up now and saying, look, I actually really like you? Yeah. Or should she just shh and not say anything?

Leave him be. Yeah. So some calls and texts coming through. Katarina, what do you think? Katarina. Katrina? Oh, yeah, right. Okay.

Katarina. Hi. We'll try again. Fletch. You just put it in the wrong balance. Okay. Katerina. Hi. Try again. Fletch just pushed it. You're just pushing the wrong buttons. That was Fletch. Oh, my God. If there's a mistake.

Katerina's like, hello. If there's a mistake and someone isn't directly blamed afterwards, that's Fletch's way of saying my fault. Well, I was like, that's the one at the bottom of the screen, isn't it? That's the last button. No, the last button's up on the other side. Wow. This should be all in one row. Oh, I have a word to on the other side. Oh, yeah, wow. It should be all in one row.

Oh, I have a word to someone about that later. Katarina, what do you think? I think she should absolutely tell him life is too short. Live for the moment. Embrace it. Yeah. Absolutely. Just go for it.

What have you got to lose? Absolutely nothing. But then it can be... Carpe diem. It can be hard, though. Can't it just tell someone your feelings? It can be. I'm actually it? Can't it just tell someone your feelings? It can be. I'm actually in that situation myself right now,

but it's a bit of a messy situation, so I can't elaborate. But, yeah, I do. Yeah, I lost my baby sister a few years ago. She was only 28. And it really put things into perspective for me about not wasting time and having regrets and just living for the moment and just, yeah, vocalising how you feel. Why not?

Put the ball in his court. He can only say no. Yeah, exactly. Katarina, thanks for your call. Abby. Hi. What do you think? Is she a bad person or not?

No, she seems like the loveliest person in the world. She's not a bad person at all. I think he's the bad person for not actually mentioning it at all. I mean, they've obviously been involved romantically, and if they're talking again now, I think that they're both in that same mindset where there's a potential for something to happen again. But if he's not even mentioning the fact that he's on this show,

she should be hitting him up and kind of being like, hey, look, I've seen the billboards. I just want to know why, what's going on. And, like, yeah, I know he can't say much because, you know, he's confined to all these rules and stuff, but he can at least say, look, I've been on this show because I've done the filming and what have you, but, you know. Because he might have only lasted a week.

Yeah, probably. It might have been over in a week, and so it's not a big deal. Might not have felt a connection with her. We don't know. Yeah, and I mean, maybe that's why he's still talking to her, because maybe he didn't last long. But I just think there needs to be a conversation about that first and foremost. Yeah, right.

And then if she still feels like she needs to get it out so that he understands where she's at with him romantically and what have you, then absolutely go ahead. But she's not at all a bad person. She seems like the most lovely, kind-hearted woman in the world. Okay, all right. Abby, thanks for your call. I think she does.

Ali, what do you think? Bad person or not? No, definitely not. She needs to tell him. Okay, alright, Abby, thanks for your call. I think she does. Ali, what do you think? Bad person or not? No, definitely not. She needs to tell him. Okay, alright. And like, just live in the moment, just seize today kind of thing? Why not? Why not?

You only live once. That's a great saying. Someone should abbreviate that. Someone should put it on a fridge magnet or something. Emily, you've been in the same situation. Yes, I have. Really? Like the same, what you meant, we're talking to a guy.

Like a reality show person. Yeah. Oh, really? Okay. So what happened? What did you do? So we were like mutual friends for a long time and there was always something there. Yeah.

But we never like acted on it. And then he went on this reality TV show and like blew up and I was like I just thought I'll just keep it to myself and just see what he turns into because I think getting attention can change people yeah and he was yeah he was himself he was so lovely and so I just kind of like held back and then eventually he came round and we started chatting and yeah, we're together and we've got a son now. Oh, amazing. All that because you saw him on Police 10-7.

That's beautiful. Getting arrested on the roadside, calling the police all manner of swear words. Exactly. Some text messages. All along the same path. She's not a bad person. Jessica, you've been listening to these calls and texts? I have, yeah.

What do you think after listening to that? That you guys have the best listeners. They are so nice. We know that. We know that. Hashtag blessed. We run a very strict system of who can listen to the show. Yeah, true.

If we find out they're bad people we just say look we don't actually need you. Yeah. Listen to that bit. There's other radio stations you could listen to.

Some people say that's an absolutely stupid idea Vaughan as soon as you depend on advertisers and listeners and stuff I don't care.

Quality over quantity. Always. So are you going to hit him up then Jessica? I think I'll let him know what's going on. Okay, good. Because I know he listens to your station anyway,

but at least I've got a fake name. He'll never put this together. He'll never put this together, Jessica. He won't recognise your voice at all. You know we don't have one of those disguiser thingies, eh? Oh, brilliant. All right, well, good luck with that, Jessica. Yeah, good luck.

Let us know how it goes and give us an update. I will. I'll let you guys know. And if it's bad, we won't tell everyone that we've ruined your life. Thanks. All right, thanks, you, gorgeous. Jessica's fact of the day, about Mr. Arthur Cobbcroft. Okay.

Who on October the 14th, 1920, passed away at the age of 56. It's old for that time, eh? Are you with your mouth full? It would have been. Sorry, I didn't think I'd be talking, so I had a quick little nectarine bite. Is it a nectarine? Yeah. Have you killed it?

No. Oh, no, you just. Right, okay. I see what you're at now. So he's 56. Probably not a bad age for that time. But he found a newspaper that was five years old. Okay.

I don't know how. Maybe he was doing some renovations and someone had chucked it in the wall. They put it in the wall or something. But he found a newspaper that was five years old, and he was looking in the newspaper at some commodities that were for sale in the newspaper, and he found the difference in price very amusing. Of course he did.

He thought in the five years from 1915 when this paper was printed to October 14, 1920, he found it amusing. And he said to his wife, look at this. And he burst into a fit of laughter. And in the middle of that fit of laughter, he collapsed and died. And the doctor proclaimed that it was death brought on by excessive laughter. His laughing, laughing killed him. So laughter was not the best medicine.

Yeah, it was heart failure brought on by excessive laughing. That's how I'd want to go. What a way to go. It will be how you go. Yeah, I'll give myself an aneurysm. Yeah, it will be more like a brain bleed. Yeah, yeah. You know when you laugh real hard and you start seeing the stars and stuff?

Yeah, yeah. That's what it feels like. I had quite a weird, surreal moment on Friday because I went over to the Book of Mormon in Brisbane and Rog from The Rock was there. And we were just having conversation and we were both laughing. You were both laughing? It was bizarre.

Yeah, it was bizarre. Oh, I'd? It was bizarre. Yeah, it was bizarre. Oh, I'd love to hear that. Yeah, it was like a laugh. A chorus of... It was brilliant. He was the bass and you were the soprano. He'd just go and I'd be like This is great. And Book of Mormon, by the way, is great.

Oh, so you're watching something really funny. He was sitting next to me and he was like and I was like This is great. So he's a, like he pushes it down, but you pull it up. You're like, yeah, it was just great. Oh my God. I sound like a bloody kookaburra.

I would love to have heard that. I was like those poor actors on stage probably put off wondering who's there. Three rows from the front. Not the only man to die from laughter, though. There's a long list of people who have died from laughing. Yeah. In 1799, a man who lived in St. Andrews in the church, William Cushing, he died after an excessive fit of laughter

which lasted over five minutes. And a man in 1893 called Wesley Parsons told a joke and then began laughing at his own joke. Something you would do. He laughed for nearly an hour and then he said he felt unwell

and then two hours later he was dead. Oh God, okay. Happened in 1975 as well. A man started laughing and he started choking and then he died of laughter. Yeah. It turns out later on that he had an abnormal heart rhythm and the laughter had been a bit too much for him. And in 1989, a Danish audiologist who was in good health was watching the film A Fish Called Wanda. He laughed very hard when Michael Palin's character had

food stuffed in his mouth and nose. His heart rate rose to an estimated 500 beats a minute leading into a heart attack and dying all kicked off because of excessive laughter. Does your Apple Watch tell you if you're about to die?

I don't know what happens if your heart rate suddenly spikes. It tells you to breathe. Yeah, it tells you to breathe. That's always really interesting because you might be watching a tense show. Like in the movie, when it was still 1917, when it was getting really tense, my watch was like, vibrate, vibrate. Really?

And then I looked down and it was like, breathe., vibrate. Really? And then I looked down and it was like, breathe. And I looked and my heart rate had got up. So you had to have a relax. We're just about to go over the trenches. I can't.

That movie is so good though. Such a good movie. So today's fact of the day is you can die from laughter and one man did so after seeing how much things cost five years ago. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day.

Producer James just has a couple of days left with us Friday. Your last day, James? Yes, it will be. Looking forward to sleeping in? Having normal job hours? Everyone's saying, oh, what are you excited about? And I just say for sleeping in like a normal person. And you're going to be doing social media for Auckland Rugby?

Yep, I'll be doing a whole lot of stuff with Auckland Rugby as well as their social media, yes. What are you going to do if a rugby player goes rogue and posts a TikTok that's off-brand? Off-brand TikTok. Yeah. Yeah, maybe the TikTok's got their dick-tock in it. I hope that can't make it through the parameters of TikTok, can it?

I actually don't know. Me, you'd love that. I think that was champagne smithy. Should have been champagne smithy. That was pretty quick. Yeah, you'd think so. I don't know. You'd think so.

Would they take it down? I don't know enough about TikTok. Well, I'm over 35 and I'm okay with not being all over TikTok. I guess we'll cross that when we come to it. But you're going to have to, imagine you have to have a hard word with a big like forward. That's we'll cross that when we come to it. But you're going to have to, imagine you have to have a hard word with a big like forward.

I will. Yeah, you will. Yeah. Tell them what's what. Good. See, this doesn't uphold our brand values. I'll be coming down

on them hard. That's for sure. You know the, got some Portuguese words in the sentence. Yeah, I know, yeah. Just trying to get through it. Yeah, yeah.

So look, the rule is never put your face in your junk. Your TikTok in the same video. Yeah. I hope they should know that. Going into that kind of, you know, sport and stuff, that should be the number one rule, right? Are you going to run like a social media class with them?

Like don't have sex with randoms in public toilets in Christchurch Airport kind of stuff? You know that my social media skills are pretty high up there, so I will be running the class for sure. Oh, yeah, good. About the rang. Don't call it a rang. How to do a good rang.

You know, I was thinking what I'm going to miss the most about you, James, is the amount that you vary your breakfast cereal. It's never the same every week. We were talking about that. It's always different. Me and. We were talking about that. It's always different. Me and Anya were talking about that. Like some days it's rice bubbles and I always chuckle.

Rice bubbles. I think I've hit something with the one I've got. This one. It's a light and tasty. It's a vanilla almond light and tasty. And I would recommend it

for anyone who's looking for a breakfast cereal at the moment. Okay. Hashtag Spons. Hashtag Spons. Not Spons. Cereal influencer. But you get over that so quickly.

Next week it'll be cornflakes. It will be. But you see, I've only got, what, two more mornings of bringing a container. I'm going to start having toast next week. Oh, that's a dream. Which is an absolute luxury. You do realise after working here for three years, we have toasters. Yeah, but we get time to, you have to wait for the toast and then run back in the next

song and it's too much admin. We've only got two minute songs. Toast is not going to be done in two minutes. No, it won't be. Alright, well this week, just to, I guess, celebrate the fact that James has been with us, we're reliving some of his favourite moments, our favourite moments of producer James on the show.

There's been a study done on what women like to hear in the bedroom. Like what they want you to... Say to them. Say. Communication. Nothing. Don't say anything.

Just moan a bit. Make some noise. They want guys to moan. Like make some noise. I've always thought the moaning belonged firmly to the female. Audible feedback. I think we should bring in

Producer Caitlin as well as another female. But would you, do you want a guy to do that? I want to know that it's like... How do guys moan sexy? Yeah, I don't know if you can. No.

But then you don't, like you don't want, like don't. Definitely not the movements. No, no one looks like a sexy movement. What about Producer James? He's got a deep voice.

Oh yeah, you give us a little, give us a little. Give us a sexy moan. Give us a sexy moan. Give us a sexy moan. Yay. I don't really, I don't know how I'd moan. I know. It would be more of a grunt or something.

Yeah, it would be. It would be me in a grunt. Okay. Don't do a grunt. Come on. Okay, okay. Wait, that was really good. I think we need to all pause and listen to that.

Shit, that was good. Oh, God. Even that, James. That was good. I don't want to all pause and listen to that. Shit, that was good. Oh, God. Even that, James. That was good. I don't want to know. Yeah, even that was good. Even his reluctance to do it again noise was good. Mmm.

Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Yes, yes, yes. Holy. They said it couldn't be done. Wow. Okay. We said it couldn't be done. I'm done. Well, I'm halfway done. Wow. Okay. We said it couldn't be done. I'm done.

Well, I'm halfway there. Shit, son. Oh, my God. Okay. Oh, wow. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. In the year 2020, that was the year humanity decided that we needed janties. Janties.

Janties. Are a fashion item. Now, kind of kind of jean short. But they're okay, so imagine jean shorts

but they're made in the shape of underwear. Jantees, like panties. I don't like saying that word. It's a horrible word, isn't it? Don't let the word control you.

You control the word. Okay, panties. Jean panties. Jantees. Yeah. Have you actually seen these Fletch? I'm going to show you a photo right now Show me Yeah

So imagine like Bikini bottoms But they're jeans You're going to have Visible panty line there Very visible So are people wearing Undies under those?

You'd have to You'd have to Because they're not Like Stretchy enough To like stick to your skin So technically they're shorts. They're short.

They're janties and underneath them you wear your jundies, which are... Jean undies. Jean undies, yeah. Yeah. So also they're about $300. Oh, $300. That's a solid pass. You can get your banana out, Megan.

Yeah, or just, like, if you really wanted them that bad, just cut your shorts a bit higher. Have you used your sewing machine? No, Vaughan's used it. It's a pretty good sewing machine. Is it? To get the, I struggled, I had to look up online to get the thing to come up underneath to grip the material to feed it through.

It's got a name. Does it? The gripper? No, the bit that comes up. The foot. No, the foot comes down on top. The thing underneath, the little teeth. Oh, yep. And they go doot, doot, doot, and feed it through. They come up. No, the foot comes down on top. The thing underneath, the little teeth. Oh, yep.

And they go doot, doot, doot and feed it through. Feeds them along. Yeah, but yours weren't engaged for some reason. Are they engaged now? They're engaged now. Was your intermediate sewing come in handy? Oh, yeah. I could still do it.

Still do a good hem? Good? I still reckon if I had time, I could make something. Scarf. I think I could go to the material shop and then just fold a piece of thing in half and sew it. Yeah. Oh, skills. You'll make a pillowcase.

Yeah, we made a pillowcase. Yeah. That's an easy one. Yeah. It's literally a rectangle, isn't it? Well, it's a rectangle, but you've got to hide all your seams. And then you've got to do the fold over flappy bit. You put the pillow in and then you put the flappy bit over the pillow

so that you can't see raw pillow hanging out the end. You don't want raw pillow hanging out. No, because you see how gross your pillow is. Yeah, you want it encased. One day I'll make a piece of clothing and I'll wear it to work just to see if you can tell that I'm naked. I think we'll know. I think we'll know. Yeah, okay. You could make a scrunchie.

Yeah, I could. We probably wouldn't notice Yeah Because they're all scrunched up Unless it was perfectly flat And then you'd be like Oh your scrunchie isn't scrunched Yeah Are we actually going to bring up his shorts?

Because whenever I wear a new item of clothing Hence my Nana doily jacket yesterday Yeah You always bring it up So What's wrong with my shorts? Corduroy shorts Black corduroy shorts.

Corduroy is in. They're also a bit baggy. You've gone for like a baggy cord short. You need like a slim thing. Are you and Nan walking to Westfield today for your coffee at the coffee club? I've done a Google. It says here, corduroy, the 70s fabric of choice, is making a comeback. We've seen fresh interpretations of the cosy material on the full 2019 runways at shows like Blah Blah Blah.

Do you know why I don't like Corduroy? I have a painful childhood memory attached to it. Why? Mrs. Pickett was altering our pants. Should Mrs. Pickett have been altering your pants? No, but she, mum doesn't, mum didn't sew. Right. Mrs. Pickett may have even made the pants in the first place.

Okay. That's the altering. Right. But they were corduroy, they were long corduroy trousers. And because when we were kids, we never wore long pants because dad never wore long pants. Right. My dad's nickname was Shorts.

Yeah, right. Because he was always in shorts. And I remember pulling up the corduroy pant. Yep. And Mrs. Pickett had left a needle in it and my tender scrotum oh yeah right was pricked by the pin and to me that feeling like if i felt corduroy pants i would be automatically even all these years later associated with a swift jab and the testes sharp jab to the testes to the scrotum. I don't think you should be projecting your childhood trauma on my fashion choice. Jenny's.

On my, yeah. And at high school we had a teacher called Mr. Brownsword. Yeah. And he always wore brown. What? I know. Mrs. Pickett and Mr. Brownsword. They were unrelated.

Right. Okay. They were two different. But Mr. Brownsword wore brown cords. Yeah, right. Were yours brown cords? And so we called them Mr. Brownsword? They were unrelated. Right, okay. They were two different. But Mr. Brownsword wore brown cords. Yeah, right. Were yours brown cords? Mr. Brown cords. No, they were dark green from memory.

Oh, okay. But they may have been dark blue. One of the dark natural colours. It's actually not the material that I find offensive. I'm not mad at the cord. I am. I'm mad at the cut. You know, they're a bit baggy.

They need to be slim fit. I don't want tight slim fit. You're low riding your baggy cords. No, I'm going to put cut. You know, they're a bit baggy. They need to be slim fit. I don't want tight slim waist. You're low riding your baggy cords. No, I'm going to print them with the whole cord. The whole thing. The corduroy. Okay, well, you know what? I won't wear them ever.

Are you happy now? See how that feels? You can wear them, just not around me. How many pieces of clothing have I had to retire from this show because of you two? That's because you brought a Jetstar jacket that looks like you work at Jetstar. What about my Russian jacket? And my Nana Daly jacket?

I told you I liked the Russian jacket, comrade. It was exactly what you need ahead of a cold winter in Moscow. Coming to work here every day is like it's Mufti Day every day and all the kids are going to laugh at you. It is. Like, it is. Like it really is. And I've said I had a starter jacket, but I didn't.

But now it's Mufti Day and everyone's asking me where my starter jacket is. But I'm saying my mum wouldn't let me wear my starter jacket. It's too nice. It's too expensive. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, that was always a good Mufti Day fib. ZDM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast.

If you enjoyed this podcast, why not give ZDM's Bree and Clint a listen too? day fib