ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Megan Podcast - January 31 2019

Episode Date: January 30, 2019

Megan had a bad night last night, your extra body parts and who are you attracted to that shouldn't be?See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hello and welcome to the Fletch, Vaughan and Megan podcast, brought to you by Spark. Get a new phone from $99 on a Spark prepaid rollover pack. And now on the podcast. It's on. Ziddim's, Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. Thanks, Andy. Good morning. Welcome to the show. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. Put the blue penguins back. What a bizarre abduction.

And a third one died in the, I don't know, the excavation because they burrow deep, like more than arm's length in there. So that's why they probably crowbarred to drag them out or dig out the hole or whatever. But yeah, a third one died in the... What, so they could like have pet penguins or something? What are you going to do with the penguins? Cost you a bloody fortune in fish, feeding a penguin.

Yeah. Fish is expensive. It's not cheap. And they can only eat the little ones. What are you going to do with penguins? Cost you a bloody fortune in fish, feeding a penguin. Yeah. Fish is expensive. It's not cheap. And they can only eat the little ones. What are those called? Pinchos. Pinchos. Sardines.

Sardines. All your small fish. Bait. You have to go to the bait store and get the frozen ones. Yeah, mackerels. Defrost them. Yep. Yep.

Bonito, I don't know if you could cut them off a ring of bonito maybe eventually when they get a bit bigger, but they don't get big blue penguins, do they? It's the Madagascar movies that are to blame. Everyone thinks the penguins are spies. And can talk. Yes, and have nefarious plans, but no. But penguins back. All right, you lot, listen up.

It's story time. Three news headlines. Vaughn and Megan must pick one time. Three news headlines. Vaughan and Megan must pick one of the following three headlines. Headline one, woman can't live with boyfriend anymore. Headline two, lax mistake. And headline three, cops following the tracks. Lax mistake. Lax mistakes.

Lax it is. Oh. Or LAX the airport I don't know I do know but I'm not LAX yeah I do know but I'm not LAX

really lax mistake I think it's a laxative mistake laxative mistake too many laxatives please follow the track yep

the tracks and women can't leave their boyfriend anymore yeah oh I kind of want Lex mistake. Yeah. Yeah, I think Lex mistake.

That's providing the most mystery to me. The most intrigue this morning. Yeah, it's got the most possibilities. Okay, a Florida man is behind bars. Oh, hang on. I've just got a thing that's popped up. A Florida man is behind bars after Oh, hang on. I've just got a thing that's popped up. A Florida man is behind bars after stealing

what he thought were powerful prescription opioids. Oh, no. They weren't, were they? So the man, 56, took the pills

from a lockbox at the victim's home, at a victim's home. Yeah. So I'm guessing they had a lot of pills in a locked, like, a cabinet. Yeah, maybe.

Well, maybe they've got kids, so the pills had to be in a locked medicine cabinet. Never heard of a locked medicine cabinet. Haven't you? No. Some people can lock a medicine cabinet. Not, like, intensely locked, but just locked shut. Well, anyway, he managed to get in and grab,

he filled his hands with what he thought was opioids. Oh, yummy opioids. Unfortunately, they were laxatives. Oh, dear. Because the person taking the pain relief and the opioids needed the laxatives. Oh, because it causes constipation, right? Yeah, well, I think they can do, some of them.

Some painkillers, anti-inflammatory or whatever. Yeah, or whatever medication they were on was causing a few blockages. So he ended up nicking off with all of these laxatives and police caught up with him and he's been charged. Yeah. How did they catch up with him? I know, that's another poo trail.

Because then it wasn't one of the other stories, police follow a trail? Yes. Right. Different story though. Different story. They could have merged together. Yeah. Follow the trail

and you shall find the man who stole all the poo pills. Yeah. We've got a problem in America with the opioids and stuff at the moment. It's wild man.

It's wild. It's because they hand them out like candy. I read the other day how many people it's killing a year in America. That's bad. I'm not going to Google it now. It'll take me ages. But no, you're right.

It's crazy. Yeah. I've seen documentaries on it. Yeah. They say it's the next major world drug crisis as well. Like even when I had like my sore neck last year and I got some painkillers, I was like, I don't want to take

too many of these. Yeah. Like, you know, yeah, I don't know. Because that's the horrible thing. Yeah, like when I had my hip surgery, that you have trammies,

they're tramadols, they're opioid, right? They're like entry-level opioids, right? Even those are like, once you're taking those constantly, trying to wean yourself off them is horrible. It's nasty.

So I did Google it. Every day in the United States, 130 people are dying from overdosing on opioids. And that's not including people who die as a result of their opioid use. I hope they build a wall. Yeah, more to keep that in than keep other people out.

Yeah, so 47,000 people in 2017 died of opioid overdose. That is bananas. Sausages in the news, and not just because it's summer, but because there's been a mislabelling of sizzlers. Cheese sizzlers. Double cheese? Just cheese, I believe. Packaged as original sizzlers.

Obviously, there's people who can't eat cheese Sizzlers due to allergies. A child ended up in hospital with anaphylactic shock. A mislabelling of the Sizzler. Is it actually cheese, though? Like, sorrows question. That's a very good question. I was like, you always get cheese. I was like, that's a nice surprise.

Don't get plain unless you've got an allergy. Don't get Sizzlers. What do you mean don't get Sizzlers? You get the cheats. I was like, that's a nice surprise. Don't get plain unless you've got an allergy. Don't get sizzlers. What do you mean don't get sizzlers? You get the blue packet. Yeah, blue. No, don't get them. Get a decent sausage. You're so elitist.

I am sausage elite. Yeah. I am sausage elite. Like, you get a nice handmade sausage. Yeah, but sometimes you just want a sizzler. Like, they're just yum. The outside goes crunchy. They're never better than a good butcher's sauce.

Well, no, I appreciate a good butcher's sauce. Like, I love a good sauce. I bet you do. But. We all, it's fair to say on this show, we all love a good sauce. We love. We love a good one. A sauce.

But I can also appreciate a double cheese sizzler. I grew up on that pre-cooked filth. And it's better than that. Now that you can be your own man. Well, we got the home kill sausages. Those are so good. Not everybody can do that. No, I know.

I know that. But there's sausages like that that you can buy. Yeah, but they're way more expensive. Yeah, but at least you know it's like not cardboard and sawdust. Oh, okay, mate. In your ivory towel, your right-on-board mower. I shan't be well-shamed when it comes to a good sausage. If you're buying a pre-cooked sausage, I've got questions.

How much of a hurry are you in? Take your time. Take your time with the sausage. Take your 10 minutes. Yeah, and just put it on a lower heat. And sometimes you just... And there are non-precooked sausages. No, I like my sausages charred.

I like the outside crispy as, and you know when the meat separates from the outside? Oh! And when they split and they go dry, yeah. That's how I like them. What is wrong with you? I always consider you, when you make a restaurant recommendation,

I always take it very seriously. I'm like, well, that'll be good because Megan's recommended it. She's just dropped a rung now because of her penchant for bloody rock-hard, dry old wrinkly socks. You know, given your backstory, I thought you'd all be about there. The succulent, youthful-looking sausage. Okay. Not the shriveled-up old, seen a few things, been on the grill too long sausage. Yeah, okay.

When you did sausage sizzles working at Entry Level Radio, we had sizzlers. Oh, no, we never had. We just had the cheapest sausages you could buy. But sizzlers are the cheapest sausages you can buy, right? No, they're not. They're not. Not in bulk. You can get cheaper ones.

You can get bulk, just pre-cooked ones. God, you're... I'm a sausage snob. I've become worse too. Yeah. I had a lovely, I must tell you, but I had a lovely mango chilli sausage the other day. What are you? What have you become?

Oh. Oh, it's good. I always now... I go down to the local butcher. What are you? What have you become? Oh. Oh, it's good. I always now. I go down to the local butcher. Fruit in my sausage. I know. It's madness. I wouldn't have picked you for that.

Wait a second. Chili mango. No. Didn't Sizzler experiment with a pineapple? I feel like was there once? Was there a pineapple in a Sizzler? Or am I making that up? Yuck.

Who would have eaten some leftover fruit juice that they had that were melted in the fridge and they would have been like, chuck them in the sausage. I feel like that was a thing. I feel like pineapple was like the cheapest fruit to choose to. Yeah, I know. Like a mango or like a... Oh, no, mango chili sausage.

Yeah. Oh, I'm all about an exotic sausage. If I go to the butcher and they've got like a sausage... Yes, yes, yes. An exotic sausage. Yeah. You have the butcher and they've got like a sausage. Yes, yes, yes. That's an exotic sausage. Yeah. I spend so much money on meat. I do.

No wonder vegans hate you. They don't hate me. They do. Well, they do. Well, they don't have the energy. No, they do. They're good people. No, I actually,

they're doing good things because they don't eat meat so their carbon footprint's less and they sell me their carbon credits. Right. I buy their meaty carbon credits right and butchers have to

discount their nice sausages because people aren't buying as many bingo you got it FVM the podcast

this is going to be made into a movie this story I'm about to tell you it'll be joining the likes of Good Will Hunting A Beautiful Mind

that gambling movie 21 and The Man Who Knew Infinity okay which is joining the likes of Good Will Hunting, A Beautiful Mind, that gambling movie 21, and The Man Who Knew Infinity. Okay. All movies about maths. Bingo. Because this guy, this just ordinary man. Yeah.

Who ran a convenience store. However, he did graduate a university with a maths degree. One day when a new lottery game started, he's like, we can make money every week playing that. What, like numbers or something? So, no, he worked out this lottery was called Win 4, and if the first division wasn't won, it never jackpotted. Right. The second division won.

So if you didn't get all five numbers, the people who got, all six numbers like our lotto, the people who had tickets with four, five or three of the matching numbers got a share of that. It never bonused up. Right. It always had to go. So there'd always be more winners? There would always be winners. Yeah.

Yeah. There would always be winners. Right. As opposed to no one winning. So Jerry is this guy's name. He said to his wife, I'm pretty sure if I buy this many tickets this week, I will pay $1,000. And he won back $1,900.

So like that, he made $900 in a week. Okay. So he said, okay, I900 in a week. Okay. So he said, okay, I'm going to do this again. So then he bought $3,600 worth of tickets next week

and he won $6,300 worth. He's like, okay, so the more I'm spending, the more I'm winning. Next time he bought $8,000 in tickets,

made $16,000 back. So this is only working because no one's winning first division? Yes. Right, okay. So if there was a week where someone won first division. He wouldn't win.

Right, okay. He wouldn't win. They would win. But the trickle-down effect of the first division not winning in this case, if you bought enough tickets, you'd make money. So then he said to his close friends and family, I'm starting a company, and I'm going to call it GS Investment Strategy

because technically this has got great investment returns. Is it? And if you pay $500, you can buy shares. Okay. So his family were like, you're crazy, Grandad, but we like that. And they bought shares in it for $500. Yeah. Then the windfall game where they lived in Michigan shut down

because not enough people were playing it. Right. Jerry was playing it and absolutely raking in the cash. So he was like, oh, that's a shame. The gig's over. Then they found out that it was still being played in Massachusetts, another state. So they started playing exactly the same strategy there.

Right. And he said they were earning enough money that they could have people sitting around sorting through the tickets. They got up to the point where they would sort through tickets at 10 hours a day, 10 days in a row, and then they would be paying $600,000 a week is how much they'd be putting into it. Wow. What? And

getting money back. But weirdly, they didn't get super greedy about it. They only did this like seven times a year. Because of the admin involved in sitting down and sorting through the tickets. Right. Just when they needed some cash for a holiday. No, just to keep them going. Right. Just when they needed some cash for a holiday. No, just to keep them going. Right.

It was just like they were making enough money to live. So in 2011, a newspaper was tipped off that this was... Oh, no. That some people were scamming them. Yeah. And the jury's like, we're in trouble. But it turns out it was some maths geniuses from MIT, which is where Good Will Hunting went.

Oh, right, okay. And they got shut down and he was like, let's keep it quiet. And then they kind of cottoned on to the fact that if people were buying a large amount of tickets, they may also be doing the same thing. Right. But does it say anywhere that you're not allowed to buy a large amount of tickets? So they went to court, but they didn't commit a crime

because the chances of winning were not affected by high volume betting. So you had as much chance of winning something back from one ticket as you did, but the percentage didn't increase. But you were just buying more tickets. So it wasn't illegal to do what they were doing. No, it wasn't illegal. They got away with it. So they worked out,

Jerry worked out over the whole time playing at how much they spent and how much they made. They spent over 26 much they made. Yeah. They spent over 26 million US dollars. Oh, my God. Because I was thinking they must have made like a few mil. They made, once you take into account how much they spent,

they made $35 million. So a straight $8 million tax-free profit. Because you've got to pay tax on the winning. No, you don't have to pay tax on the winning of this one. Because it came under, every time they won, it came under the amount that you have to pay tax on above in America. What a genius!

Yeah. So he said we paid for the college education of our six grandchildren, 14 grandchildren, and even 10 of our great-grandchildren. Wow. And I'm sure they all got some sweet holidays as well. Renovated their home, lived very comfortably, and now have retired and are just like super cruisy.

Don't have to worry about money. And all because he listened in maths. So that's the key. Pay attention in maths. God, but that's like years and years of study and hard work. But I feel like that's a bit of, like that's a one in a million person. Like he spotted it. Yeah.

Well, the other people that did it were like maths, genius level PhD maths students from MIT. So yeah, Jerry must have spotted something. So even if you do NCA, all level maths, you're not guaranteed. I don't think they'd set up lotto games with these gaping loopholes of how to make money off them anymore either. No. The rationing of the pill 100,000 Kiwi

women use each year is still on. Levelin. It's my pill as well. You talked about this. Yeah, you're being rationed. Yeah, so there wasn't enough for them to buy into the country. So while we've got it here, they're rationing it so you can only get one month at a time. But they did also say that when you go back,

you're not going to have to pay for the prescription every time. Just while the rations are on. Somebody messaged in saying that that was because of a shortage of the sugar coating. Really? But wouldn't that cause like a worldwide pill shortage? Of everything? Because everything's sugar coated.

Like Neurofins, they're sugar coated, aren't they? Yeah, they've got that. Yeah, they're yummy. Easy to swallow. M&M's? Because you know sometimes you... Oh, that's candy coated. Oh, candy coated.

Is that different? Why can't they all be like that? Because sometimes you put like a pill on your tongue, if you leave it there too long, you're like... Oh, I'm looking at you, Disprin. Yeah. You're yucky if you accidentally got caught in the back of your teeth. No, get out.

So there's more bad news off the back of this because the pill is being rationed. The chemists are restricting the number of condoms under prescription. Right. Because obviously they're being used more because people might not have as much of under prescription. Right. Because obviously they're being used more because people might not have as much of the pill. Right. We've mentioned this before

and it blew people's minds that if you were ever at the doctor or you go to family planning or whatever, the health clinic, you can get a prescription for like conics.

You can just ask, yeah. And it's like a couple of bucks. I don't know how much it is. I've never heard anybody have a massive bag full. Yeah, and they never say no. No. Look, it should have been an embarrassing thing.

Are they going to say no to me? Because they won't. They'll just be like, of course. Yeah. Well, under prescription now, they're not dispensing as much. So you won't get a whole bag full. We've got to ration those as well, please. How many are they handing out?

At a time? Yeah. I think you can get 72. Wait, 72? What? Hold on, I'm going to guess how long they'll allow you to have 72 for the usage. Oh, okay, right. Yep. So did you say they're going to give you 72?

Yeah. I reckon it would be, oh, heck no. Over how many days? Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's what I'm trying to work can't. Over how many days? Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's what I'm trying to work out. 72 for how many days? We'll have a guess. Well, my guess would be.

This is the ration amount. Yeah, if you're in a new relationship, you know, you can get through them. But if you're just kind of like out there, you might have a couple of quiet nights during the week. Say it. How many days? 72 for 140 days. One every two days.

It's for every 90 days. Jesus. That's rations. That is the king of wishful thinking. I know, that's rations. What were you getting if it wasn't rationed? I don't know. I think unlimited.

Yeah. I think whatever you wanted. I just like how much, yeah. Get a whole bag full. That's bananas. What, they were just like pouring them in like a pick and mix. They just held the bag open and they just shoveled, scooped them in. God, you'd be lucky to get through those before the expiry date.

I reckon. Yeah. Or ever. So while it says rations and we're all like, oh my God, you can still get 72 for 90 days. And you can still get them from the supermarket. Yeah, you can still buy them. There's no shortage there. Yeah.

But just the discount ones. Just the discount ones, yeah. Is that through Pharmac? Yeah. Yeah. They do condoms as well. They do everything. Just everything medical.

Yeah. Right. I can't imagine getting into that warehouse. What a look about it would be. From the ZM Think Tank, this is the Top Six. Hello. Yesterday afternoon, just before lunch actually, there was a media release from the police of New Zealand

and it said, on Thursday the 31st of January Commissioner of Police Mike Bush will announce the rollout of new police body armour. Bushy. He'll be announcing the commercial partnership to deliver new body armour to all police officers. So what does that mean?

They're teaming up with Lululemon or 2XU or maybe even Under Armour. Under Armour would Yeah, maybe. Under Armour would be a great sponsorship. Is it going to look badass or are they going to end up? Well, we don't know. So it's happening today at 10am.

Right. At the North Shore Policing Centre. Yeah. Media want to meet at the reception at 9.40. That's how Kiwi is there. Good to go. Media. Just meet at the reception at 9.40.

We'll get everybody seated and then the procedures will be gone. So, yeah. It sounds like they're putting on a show of the new body armour. So they're going to shoot like... Well, that's what we don't know. We don't know who they teamed up with. Is it Tony Stark? Are we going to have some Iron Man time? God, I hope they've gone with like Nike or something.

Like, you wouldn't want to go for a... What? I don't know, like a poo one. Imagine the bloody... Calls the talk back if the police were spending tax dollars on Nike outfits. They're not going to be Nike. Okay. I wouldn't say they'd be Nike.

I don't know who's commercial partnerships with... Bad guys are going to take them seriously. And also it's body armour. Do Nike do body armour? No, I don't know. I don't think so. They do like yoga pants and stuff, but they don't do body armour. So today's top six is the top six features of the new police body armour

that I think should be there. Number six, jetpacks. Okay. And wings. Right. So basically like Buzz Lightyear. Yep. They're like to infinity and beyond.

Boof. Wings come out and then they can jetpack out of any trouble or to get to trouble, they can jetpack in. Right. Okay. That'd be pretty legit. Yeah, come out and then they can jetpack out of any trouble or to get to trouble they can jetpack in. Right. Okay. That'd be pretty legit. Yeah, it'd be great.

Police jetpacks. Number five on the list of the top six features of the new police body armour. Wi-Fi hotspots. Because you know, people see the police and they're like,

it's the police. F the police. Whatever. I don't even feel comfortable saying that. Saying that, yeah, because you've got respect. But now they'll be like, YTP.

Which stands for Yay the Police. Because they've got free Wi-Fi. But then each cop will have like an entourage around them of just people following. I thought you were going to say like a router on them. They will have a little aerial. And they'll also be able to see nefarious

things that people are looking up on their phones. They'll be able to look down and it's like someone's Googling how to be leading a riot. How to lead a riot. And they're like, you're booked. Gotcha. Gotcha. And then they grab them and then their jetpack wings come out and they fly the crim straight back to jail. Brilliant.

Number four on the list of the top six features for the new police body armour fingers crossed. Yeah. Grappling hooks. Why don't more people have grappling hooks? Batman had one in like the 1930s.

But isn't that to like swing off a building or something? Punk. Pink. And then over they go. Like they could go

over a gap on them. Then you could just like someone's running away and you're like please stop. Grappling hook. That you could just like Someone's running away And you're like Please stop Grappling hook Boom And just like

Grapple them Get them around the ankles Drag them back in Stop a car Yeah Punk Onto the car Stop it

Or Somebody they arrest They grappling hook them Then they tie the grappling hook Around themselves Jetpack comes out wings they fly back

dragging the perp okay right grappling hooks let's get grappling hooks on there number three on the list of the top six features I'd like to see on the new

police body armour announced today electrification of the suit so like it's like a taser but they have to be touched to it like if someone comes up and they're like

have a swing at them the cop like pushes the button and then the person someone comes up and they're like, have a swing at them, the cop like pushes the button and then the person touches their suit. They're like. How would it not electrocute the policeman though? Or the police woman? Rubber lining. Okay, right.

Fair enough. You've thought of everything. Yeah, I really have. At a very basic level, I've thought of everything. So then they could be like, well, if he hadn't touched me, he wouldn't be getting a shock.

He took a swing. And now that's why he got electrocuted. Or he just tapped you on the shoulder to tell you your shoelace is undone. Yeah, you're like, electrocution of suit. I feel endangered. And an old lady's like, excuse me. Tap. Oh, well, she had a good time.

She had a good life. Number two on the list of the top six features I'd like to see on the new police body armour. Smoke bombs, flash bangs, and stun grenades. Oh, yeah. Basically, an arsenal of things that go bang and then do stuff. Yeah. Like in basically video games.

So it can be bang, then smoke, bang, and then bright light, bang, and then stun grenades, whatever they do. Bit of both, eh? Yeah. Bit of both, yeah, stun grenades. Ooh, tear gas as well. One of those two, okay. All as well. One of those two. Okay.

All of them. All of the above. And the number one feature I'd like to see on the new police body armour and ice block pocket. Because at the moment it's really hot out there. They don't really have a summer uniform, do they? Nah. You know Aussie police have like shorty shorts and like caps?

Yeah, they do. It's funny though. I know. It does look funny, but at the same time, it's like, who wants to be in long pants and boots when it's 35 degrees? Yeah, horrible. Horrible. Not very thoughtful.

I feel like they have a polo, police polo. They should have a police singlet. And stubbies. Yeah. You can put a collar on the singlet so that it looks fresh. Formal. Formal singlet. Formal singlet.

Yeah. Brilliant. Sort of like a sleevel singlet so that it looks fresh. Formal. Formal singing singlet. Formal singlet. Yeah. Brilliant. Sort of like a sleeveless polo it almost looked like. Because, you know, at the moment, very hot weather out there. People's tempers are shortened. A lovely cool fruit, dew or jelly tip would sure calm the nerves of any would-be aggressors. And if not, electrocute them, grapple and hook them, jetpack and wings, straight back to the station for the year, buddy.

That is today's top six. John Mayer has unveiled something. He did an Instagram live chat show. This is the singer John Mayer. Yeah.

Your body is a wonderland. Yes. Is he coming here? Because he had a bad reputation for a lot of years didn't he? What being a womaniser?

Yeah and then he's kind of has he chilled out. He seems to have chilled out lately. Not really hearing him in the headlines as much. For womanising. Yeah for womanising. Maybe he's. Yeah I don't know about his sex life really hearing him in the headlines as much. For womanising. Yeah, for

womanising. Yeah, I don't know about his sex life. Churn down the womanising. But it's what he revealed on this Instagram Live that has everyone talking. So he did, it's a 45 minute current mood with John Mayer. And it was hosted

by Andy Cohen. And he revealed much like Harry Styles, that he has a third nipple. It's a little bit different, like Harry's, a little bit, I don't want to say deformed. What do you mean a little bit different? Well, it doesn't look like a full extra nipple. That's what I reckon.

To me, that's just a skin anomaly. It would have to have the function of a nipple before I... You'd like to see areola. No, but what's a dude's function of the nipple? I would like to see a wreckness during arousal and or cold feelings. I need it to function like a nipple. See, even Harry Styles' third nipple... It just looks like a big, freckly mole, right?

It just looks like a big, freckly mole. Nah, that's definitely a nip. That's definitely a nip. It's definitely a nip. It's not zoomed in enough to see if there's, but it does look like areolary, but without the elevated nip bit. Yeah. See, that's not a nipple.

It's a birthmark. What is that bit called? There's areola and then like the mountain, the peak. Yeah. I don't know. Oh, now I need to Google the... The peak of the nipple. Nipple parts.

Parts of a nipple. Because you're right, everyone knows about the areolae. Yep. But, you know, if you compare it to a fried egg, everyone knows about the egg white, but no one knows the name of the yolk. Look, that's a zoomed in bit. There's a nip.

That's definitely a nip. Yeah, see? It is a nip. My goodness. So it's got a raised centre. Yeah, it? It is a nip. My goodness. So it's got a raised centre. Yeah, it's got a centre bit and... Yeah. Like, look, Bourne, up close.

Look up close. I'm coming, I'm coming. What do you reckon? See, it's still not... Yeah, it's getting there. I'd say it's 80% nip. But you'd say that's a third nipple. Yeah.

Yeah. So he was asked if he feels marginalised as someone with a third nipple and, like, is it hard sometimes. And he said, I'm kind of doing okay, but some people are. I'm a lucky one. I'm a well-to-do three nipper. A well-to-do three nipper.

He's coping okay. Harry's coping okay. Yeah, if you got in the position of going home with John Mayer or Harry Styles, a third nip's not turning you on. Would it be a deal breaker? It's not a deal breaker, is it? Not at all. It might be for Kevin and accounts.

Oh, because Kevin's third nipple would be hairy and very much an active nipple. Sure, and he doesn't have any Grammy awards. So the pointy bit is the nipple. Right. The areola is around the nipple. The pointy bit is what makes up the nipple. Right. We're incorrectly labelling the entire thing the nipple.

Whereas it's just the raised part. It's just the pointy bit. Right, Yeah. We're incorrectly labelling the entire thing nipple. Right. Whereas it's just a raised part. It's just a pointy bit. Right, okay. So off the back of John Mayer's third nipple, I thought we could put it out there and see what extra body parts everyone else has. It's a safe place. So if you've got like an extra, if you've got a third nipple. An extra foot.

An extra foot. I don't know. What could you have extra? You hear about extra organs. Yeah. Don't you? Every now and then someone will be like, I went in for a test and I've got three kidneys.

Does that mean they can drink more? Probably. There's got to be some advantage. Like less hangover? Yeah. Maybe? I don't know. Two hearts would be pretty handy.

Yeah. You'd run faster, would you? I don't know. You could definitely function quicker. Extra fingers, extra toes. You hear about people with extra fingers and extra toes? So, yeah, thanks, you know. All right, well, let's open up the phone lines.

0800-DARLES-AT-M-9696. What extra body parts do you have? Do you want to start, Megan? What do I have? Get the ball rolling. What do I have? I don't know, you tell us. Oh, no, I don't.

Not hiding anything? I've just got extra webbing between my toes. That's true. With extra skin. We're talking about if you have been born with something extra, which I don't think, you know, people are in such a rush to get rid of extra fingers. Would you?

I think we should be encouraging it. How handy would an extra finger be? You know, we know. As long as it moved and it wasn't for decoration. You know, if you're ever like picking up a whole lot of things between the fingers and then imagine just being able to grab an extra one on the end or, yeah. I mean, there's a time in childhood where anything different would be, oh, climbing. Would you be disqualified if it was a professional climber?

Or if you played cricket and you could get a little extra spin. Oh, yeah, that's true. A little more spin, couldn't you, if you had that finger to roll it off on one of the ends? But then it gets to winter and you can't get your hand on the gloves. Oh, no gloves. You have to go mittens. Yeah, right. Or know the ones that are, what are the ones that were there?

Yeah, mittens. Mittens. Not individual fingers. You'd need to go size up in mittens too. Yeah, just for that extra space for the finger. But we're not the only ones that think there might be something advantageous of having an extra digit. So when I was younger, I played quite a bit of poker. There was a guy

that we played with who had a double thumb. So two thumbs? No, when it got to the top knuckle of the thumb, the thumb was heart-shaped. So he had two thumbnails on the one thumb.

Pretty crazy to look at, but it was ideal for holding cards and flicking through cards and he could really flick out dealing. He's got twice as much traction. To your wife, you'd just be like, I hold up your thumb, you, because it looks like a heart. I heart you, yeah, yeah.

It'd be great on Valentine's Day or just any time. On Valentine's Day or any time you want to tell your loved one that you love them. That you love them. I've got an extra top of my thumb. Somebody else said they used to go

to a petrol station where the guy that pumped the gas had an extra thumb growing out of his thumb. So this sounds like it might be lower than the knuckle.

Thumbs? Okay. A feature of quite a few people have texted me such an amount of things. I've got that at the moment with my cactus. It's growing a cactus

out of the top of the cactus. Oh, get rid of it. What does that mean? Surgically. Well, I don't know what to do. I don't know what to do. It just means it's growing, doesn't it? No, you want it to remain picture perfect.

Well, that's the thing. It's not picture perfect. You should just be thankful it's growing. I know. As opposed to dying. I know that's the thing. It's not dying. Wow.

I'm just like, something's living. It's because it's found a kindred spirit in you. A dry prick. Mind you, it doesn't require a lot of attention and you do. Yeah, this is true. Yeah. I had to replace two more plants this week. Hard to cuddle.

When I was in at Bunnings, had to buy two more. Did you? Well, no, when I was away, they died. I'm not allowed plants anymore. You know what? God rest his soul. You used to blame your cat for a lot of this plant shenanigans, but the cat's been gone for a while and the plants are still dying.

I know. It's on you. Not his fault, it turns out. I know. Poor cat has been blamed for a lot of plant-based death. Yeah. Some other text messages in. My sister was born with a rather extensive tail.

I'm not imagining, like, monkey tail, but, but like you hear about that, the tailbone. Yeah, the tailbone doesn't go back up. So I'd be down for it as long as it was functional. Yeah. I've said it before and I'll say it again. How handy would it be if you're cooking and you're like, I spilled something, I need the tea towel, but your hands are covered in mints. Tail over to the oven because everyone hangs their tail on the oven door handle, right?

Grab it, pull it round, wipe up the bench. No harm, no foul and you don't need to go and wash your hands of the mints. And then you can hang it back up or put it over your shoulder. Perfect.

It's got to be a practical tail. How long is your tail? Yeah. Just a little stubby. No, my tail? Yeah. In this fantasy? Yeah.

No, it's quite long. Like a tiger tail. Because like sunbathing at the moment, flies get on you when you're face down. Your tail would flick them off. Anything. You'd want it to be the length that would at least reach your feet. Yeah, okay.

So you could itch yourself. Yeah, yeah. I mean, all those sorts of things. Somebody said, I just had my wisdom teeth removed and the dentist was like, huh, got a few extra back here. And I had an extra wisdom tooth on. had my wisdom teeth removed and the dentist was like huh i've got a few extra back here and i had an extra wisdom tooth on so they had two wisdom teeth on the bottom on each side so four wisdom

teeth on the bottom alone oh wow what's going on there that sounds like a chance for the dentist to screw you over and charge a bit more because you know it's per tooth isn't it yeah and grandma has got to admit that what she won't sleep with a shark. Eggs. Yeah. And you know who she slept with? Grandpa Shark. Do, do, do, do. Grandpa Shark.

Although he's got no teeth in the ancients. No. It was a long journey. Yeah, we got there. Somebody wants to know, tail-wise, if my tail would have fur or be bald. Very good question. Oh, yeah, because you're bald? No, no, because humans are question. Oh, yeah, because you're bald? No, no, because humans are bald.

Oh, yeah, true. Would it have a tuft on the end or would it be like a cheetah tail or a lion tail? The problem with a bald tail is it would look a lot like a penis or a giant earthworm. Which you're right, the tails are only cute when they're covered in fur.

Yeah, I'd say fur. I'd go fur. Yeah, definitely. Human hair, way thicker than leg hair. FEM. ZM. It's George Ezra On Zed M Fleets, Vaughn and Megan

He's here on Monday He'll be on the show next week Georgie That's what I'm gonna call him Yeah I'm gonna go and hot with Georgie You've met him once And you're on first name basis

Have we met him? Yeah Oh my god yes Was I here? Yeah you were Oh my god boy It was back in the old studios And remember he sung And he had his lovely eyes Remember his eyes? Yeah Yeah, you were. Oh my God, Vaughn. It was back in the old studios.

And remember he sung and he had his lovely eyes. Remember his eyes? No, you're thinking of James Arthur. No. No, he doesn't have lovely eyes. Are you kidding? Please. No, don't say that in front of, don't say nice to meet you. Like you could literally Google our interview and it will come up.

I don't believe it. You were there. Fletch, Vaughn. I'm glad this is happening on air because this happens often. What was that story about Alzheimer's the other day linked to poor sleep? I know. I 100% that's what happened. George's results to Fletchvorn and Megan.

Wow. Oh, come on, guys. This is in 2014. We said it was a while ago. That's a long time ago. What do we look like if we aged? Yeah, don't. We have. We a while ago. That's a long time ago. What do we look like? Have we aged? Yeah, don't. We have.

We're doing a... What? We've aged terribly? We've aged terribly. This is seven minutes long. That seems like a long video. So we go on about it. Okay.

I don't know. Okay, the camera's only been on George. They're right. I'm wearing a caftan. Times have changed. I'm wearing a cardigan and a caftan. I remember that cardigan. Someone got me the cardigan and I didn't like it,

but I felt really bad for not wearing it. So I forced myself to wear the cardigan for one winter season and then I gave it away. I put it in the clothing bin. Okay, yeah. I probably will go with caftan again this winter. That's a very, very distinguished look. Anyway, I wanted to talk now about an article I read yesterday,

and it was so gold because, you know, I don't know why, people love intergenerational banter is at an all-time high, given that baby boomers have, like, fully engaged with the internet now because there was a long time there where it wasn't really, or they weren't baby boomers yet because when they got on the internet 15 years ago, they might have just been people with kids about to leave home. But now they're in full-blown baby boomer mode

and they've maybe retired, too hot to go outside because of their blood pressure and their medication. They can't go and direct sun if they're on Wolfram. And they, that's actually factual. You'll go blue like a smurf. Fact. Both of my nans were on Wolfram and they can't go on the direct subway

for too long. Is it heart medication? Yeah. It's rat poison. Stop alienating the boomers. It's fine. I'm not. But it's perfect weather to sit inside

and comment on news stories. So you're likely to see news stories aimed at racking them up. Now this one didn't even like try to disguise itself. It's literally called why you couldn't pay me enough to plant trees or build fences. Because at the moment

there's a story but we want to plant like a billion trees. Yeah. But everyone's like well that's fine but I'm not doing it. Yuck. But you don't have a job. Yeah, that's cool. I'm an influencer. I don't know if you guys.

Yeah, I'm micro-influencing at the moment. Sure, my followers aren't massive. That story was like you could earn $400 a day. And I was like, it's pretty good money. Like, it's hard work. I'm under no illusion that digging holes in probably harsh, hard, dry ground that's not much good for anything else, it's not going to be easy. What about a post hole borer? Because you're higher. Harsh, hard, dry ground that's not much good for anything else. It's not going to be easy.

What about a post hole borer? If you're getting paid $400 a day, could you make a deal with Hyapool to pick one of those up long term for $50, $100 a day, and then you turn up with a whole post hole borer, you're cranking through the trees. And then you get the end of the week tree planting bonus. Or could I pay someone to call themselves Megan and do it for $200 a day and I just stay at home? That's a good idea.

Someone without the paperwork to legally work in New Zealand. Holy shit, I think we're on to something. Yeah, we're on to a wonderful scam. Yeah. If we could just have the immigration department turn a blind eye to what we're talking about now, that'd be great. But goes on the articles.

It's trolling of the highest order. It's basically saying, look, yeah, sure, fencing. Yeah, that sounds really hard. Sure, great for you. You built fences. I don't want to because it's hard and I don't want dirty hands. That was the other story that you can earn $35 an hour doing that. You start lower, but you can work your way up to $35 an hour.

But people don't want to do it. But people don't want to do it. Young people don't want to do it. I've done fencing. It was just something our grandparents used to drag us out to. And there was always summer when they wanted to do it. I'm like, why aren't we doing this in winter when the ground's wet and easier to dig? Too much to do then. So it is hard.

You ache at the end of the day. And I'll agree. You ache after working. Horrible. I know. Good Lord. That's the thing. We're hearing agree. You ache after working. Horrible. I know. And that's the thing. We're hearing this millennial does make a great point in the fact that we're being told about how bad for your body it is to hammer your body.

Our dads are like this, right? Your dad's falling to bits. My dad's always got an ache and a pain. And it's because they work themselves to the bone for their whole lives. And then they can't enjoy their retirement because they can't walk on a cruise ship. Yeah, dads are a terrible advertisement for hard labor. Exactly. I don't know.

I thought that was a really good point. We've watched our dads and our granddads retire and just be hunched over and like, my knees are bugging me. I mean, when we retire, we'll be hunched over from our screen use. Yeah, screen use, our neckscks are flat thumbs and our deaf ears. But then let that be a lesson to the generation that's coming up through then. Yeah. And they'll be like, well, I can't see any fault with hard labour because hard labour wasn't done.

So they'll go back to it and it's a circle that never ends. Yeah. Just, yeah, we can all get along. Can't we? Well, I think as long as there'll be news online, there'll always be baby Boomer clickbait. This headline, this story at the bottom from the word go, said comments on the story are closed.

I love it. Talk back what I had to feel, David. Oh, yes, yes. F.G.M. A woman in Britain, I think this is a great idea. Okay. I think this is a great idea. A woman in Britain, her partner that she had for three years,

she claims that he cheated on her. It ended very poorly. She's been ignoring him since. For three years? Yeah, for three years. And she said, if you are going to keep wasting my time messaging me, I'm going to invoice you. I'm going to charge you. I'm going to charge you.

Right. And then she kept a tally of how much time she spent dealing with this nonsense, this BS of hers. So he cheated on her but then wanted her back. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think the saying is he had his cake and he wanted to eat it too or he had cake but then he ate a banoffee pie

and then he was like, I still want cake. And the cake's like, no, no, no. but then he ate a banoffee pie, and then he was like, I still want cake, and the cake's like, no, no. You go back to your banoffee. Exactly. So she said, if you message me again, it's 100 pounds for dealing with my time. And he said, fine, give me the bank details. It's done. I want to talk to you.

And then he sent her a screen cap of 100 pounds being transferred into her account. And she's like. That's like 200 New Zealand dollars. Oh. Yeah. Sweet. Oh, okay. Plead your case.

So she let him talk for a little bit. And then she was like, you've used your 100 pounds now no more. So that's a good, if someone's bothering you and won't stop talking to you. Yeah, they're like, I'll do anything to talk to you. $100. How much do you pay to go to like counselling and stuff? That's not cheap, right?

Yeah, I don't know. So it could be an introductory to counselling. Yep. You've got to get back on speaking terms. And they'll do anything to talk to you. Anything. Just to plead to have you back. Prove it then.

So why not make $100 out of it? Yeah. That's brilliant. Make some money out of it. Yeah. She was like, before now I feel sorry. He did cheat on back. Yeah. Prove it then. So why not make $100 out of it? Yeah. That's a brilliant genius. Make some money out of it. Yeah. She was like, before now I feel sorry, he did cheat on her.

Yeah. And it's almost like now, I bet she's like, could have asked for $200. Yeah. Do you have to pay tax on that? Because is that like... It's a gift.

Is it a gift? It's something. It's... Is it technically income? I mean, if you start doing it for $10,000 each time and you're doing it a week,

the IRD's going to have some questions. Yeah, but they're not, you're not going to notice $100. But if it's a cheeky hunch, no, I don't think they'll notice that.

Alright. FEM. More hot weather today. More 30 plus degree temperatures for parts of the country. Crazy how it's so hot here, but it's like so cold in America. Like, it's the absolute opposite. Like, in some Crazy how it's so hot here, but it's like so cold in America. Like it's the absolute opposite.

Like in some places it's so cold they can't deliver beer. And there's been outrage. It's crazy. When we have summer, they have winter. But like extreme. Trippy.

It is trippy, dog. It's colder in America than it is in Antarctica. I know. Like it's actually nuts how cold it is. It gets cold, but not this cold. Good lord. But meanwhile back here, we're all melting.

That actually sounds nice. We poked fun yesterday. You poked fun yesterday. At Ponsonby, a flash inner Auckland suburb that lost power for six hours. Now, was that because of the heat? I don't know, because we had a power cut the night before. Right. That's got to be in some way related, right? Is it like an

overloading room? Because you know the power lines, they just look really melty. Do they? I don't know. It was on a part of the motorway yesterday, and it smelled like tar, and it looked very melty. You could just smell, is it tar? Tar seal. Tar seal. Whatever it is, yeah. It was very melty. Very melty. Well, is it tar? Tar seal. Tar seal. Whatever it is, yeah.

It was very melty. Very melty. Well, maybe it is heat related because last night, Megan, well, you lost power like yesterday afternoon, right, at your house? How long did Ponsonby? I laughed along with you taking the mickey. I ring-laid and you've been taught the lesson not to laugh. How many hours did they lose it for?

Nothing. So yesterday I lost it for? Nothing. So yesterday I lost power for 13 hours. So 1pm 13! 1pm yesterday I

we lost power. This is karma. So rude because I was watching Yummy Mummies on Netflix and I was like What is Yummy Mummies? Because I've heard

a couple of people talk about Yummy Mummies. It's so bad but I can't stop myself. It's just like a bunch of Australian well-to-do pregnant women. Right. Who are learning about pregnancy.

Oh my, it's got a stunning 3.2 out of 10 on IMDb. It's really bad, but for some reason there's quite a few, yeah. Right. So you're halfway through the show. Yummy Mummies. And the power goes out. My fan goes off and I'm like, okay, well this is inconvenient but I do have to go

and mow the lawns and so I went out, mowed the lawns, did my thing, came back and I was like in need of a shower, obviously.

Then I remembered that you can't get hot water. Do you not have a hot water cylinder? No. Are you on gas? Yeah. Oh yeah,

because everyone's like, they think it's the better option but then without the power you can't get the little See, I thought because there's a gas bottle, it can, yeah, but you need the flicker. Yeah. Oh, yeah, because everyone's like, they think it's the better option, but then without the power, you can't get the little flicker. See, I thought because there's a gas bottle, it can, yeah, but you need the flicker. Yeah, so no hot shower.

They just don't recommend leaning in there with one of your barbecue lighters trying to get your night of flame going, no. So this was the start of my terrible day. I've got grass all over me, so I had to have like a cold, look, it's not like a nice cold shower, like a pool.

A shockingly cold. It's like take your breath away cold shower. So that was like quick. Right. And I was thinking, okay, well this is going to come on any minute. And I went onto the website that tells you like your address and like when it's expected to come on.

Reported faults. It says it's going to come on at 2.30. And I was like, sweet, not that long to wait. Any minute. Yeah. Doesn't come on at 2.30. Now it says it's going to come on at 5.30. And I was like, okay, well that'll be in time to make dinner.

This is okay. I'll keep the fridge shut. It'll be fine. It doesn't come on at 5.30. Wait, Fletch doesn't know this because he was out of the room before. What did you have for dinner? Coleslaw. Why wouldn't you go out for dinner? Go out for dinner! So this is my other problem. I was supposed to go, I was like, I'm going to go see Ellie.

And I can charge my phone because my phone had gone flat. And I had no way of charging it. So I was like, I'll charge my phone. I'm going to go see Ellie. We can watch TV. It'll be great. She's got a fan. Then I packed up everything, went downstairs and went to open my garage door.

Powered. I can't get my car out of the garage. You know that you pull the cord and then you wander out? So my garage is like, the only way in is the garage door. It doesn't have a side door. The side door's through a separate shed thing, but you have to climb through some cupboards to get in there. Yeah.

So I was like, I don't know. So you couldn't even get in to disengage? No, to disengage it. Because you couldn't climb through the cupboard. It seems like a loophole. So my car was stuck in there. I couldn't go anywhere. I did have a little cry as I went back upstairs. Isn't there a key for the garage door?

No, but you've got to be able to disengage that thing before you can wind it up. Oh, yeah, okay, yeah, true. You couldn't climb through the cupboard. There's no key. So coleslaw for tea or what? Coleslaw. Coleslaw's got to be with something.

Why do you have coleslaw in your fridge? I don't know. I love coleslaw. It's be with something why do you have coleslaw in your fridge I don't know I love coleslaw it's like your little easy salad to have with whatever you're cooking when did it come on so I waited and it said

okay it's going to be on at 7.30 between 7.30 and 8.30 that been and gone we got a frantic group message from Megan at what time was that like 8 o'clock

guys I've just borrowed my friend's power bank. I don't have a lot of time. My phone ran out just after lunch. I haven't had power. I don't know when it's coming back on. Like it's the apocalypse or something.

Do you know, my phone was flat. I couldn't use my car. I was home alone and I was like, I'll just make a cup of tea to make myself feel better. No. God damn it. And I'd had a cold shower, still a little bit dirty from mowing the lawns. Yeah. It's weird

what you forget runs on power when you don't have power. You're like, well I guess I'll just watch TV. And I was like, yeah, and I was like I'll watch TV on my laptop, but the router's not going. Yeah. So, yeah. And then your phone's dead so you can't tether. Oh, it was just awful. I know.

So it went dark and then I was like, I've got no light. So we had candles. They were scented. Thank God. Yeah. But yeah, I went to sleep last night and of course it's a bloody heat wave. No fan. This might make you feel better.

We had two fans in our room last night. You double fanned. Double fanned. Double fanned. I'm not going back. I really thought we would have had a fan shortage. No, because I think it's every second year that we have the fan shortage. Is it?

Because we'll use the fans or throw out the bung old fans. So, yeah, I went to sleep at, well, it came back on at 11 and I was like, hallelujah, put the fan on. And then an hour later they turned it off again till 2am. They always do that when the power comes back on. They leave it on for a bit. They're like, yep, I think everything's good. Turn it off again.

We'll just shut the we'll put the screws back in you know when you're fixing something and you don't put it all back together and you turn it on you're like that's working

okay turn it off at the wall put everything back on do you know my biggest my biggest worry was this morning I was like I don't know how I'm going to put my

makeup on candlelight like that's not an even distribution of light let alone get your car out of your garage to get to work 1800s problems eh how am I getting my makeup on via candlelight before the masquerade ball yeah Let alone get your car out of your garage to get to work. Oh, that too. I hadn't thought about it. 1800s problems, eh?

Yeah. How am I getting my makeup on via candlelight before the masquerade ball? Yeah. I would not be here if the power was out. Partially because I couldn't get my car out, but also, like, my makeup. Guys. I wouldn't have found it. Real physical problems there. Apparently, today, the peak of the heat wave.

This weekend, some cooler weather is on the way. So, Niwa has said that Thursday will be the peak. Predicted temperatures, 37 in parts of North Canterbury today. In Auckland today, in the Auckland region, a high of 27. Although, there'll be some cloud in the morning and evening with some easterly breezes. Elsewhere in the country, Blenheim, 34. Masterton, 33,

and many other spots around 30. Wow, 37. Nuts, but yeah, apparently this weekend it's going to be a little bit cooler. Well, that's good because yesterday when I was walking out to the pool,

the wood was so hot. You were such a bitch. The wood was scorching. I had to go, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, and then call for the help to bring me my flip-flops to walk back in. I don't know their name.

I just call them the help. Oh, God. All right, we've got a big announcement. For people that don't get sarcasm, Vaughn is joking. About the help part. The pool wood was, I'm not lying, it was scorching hot.

Everyone is watching the Ted Bundy documentary that's on Netflix at the moment. I've seen it come up it's on the list of a million things to watch. It's a series

there's a few episodes it's not a one off. The Bundy tapes or whatever it's called. I haven't started it because I'm saving it. But yeah it's about Ted Bundy he's a notorious's called. I haven't started it because I'm saving it. Right. But yeah, it's about Ted Bundy.

He's a notorious serial killer in America. He confessed to killing 36 women. It's a pretty, it's serious. It's full on. And the one on Netflix is actually him. So Zac Efron is in a movie? Yes. A Ted Bundy movie.

With Lily Collins, I believe. Which is coming out. And timely because the trailer for that was released about the same time that everyone started watching the Netflix series. But yeah, Zac Efron is the one in the movie and everyone's kind of like, why is a heartthrob playing Ted Bundy?

It's because he is kind of attractive. And this is the problem. Netflix have said can everyone please stop calling Ted Bundy a hottie? Right. Because he's a serial killer. But also that was the, I guess, the allure of how he got his victims is that he was very charming.

He was charming and attractive. That's the whole story of it. He was charming, attractive. And he broke the mould of what serial killers looked like and behaved like because he was super charismatic and good looking. Yeah. Attractive. And he broke the mould of what serial killers looked like and behaved like because he was super charismatic and good looking. Yeah. He turned up wearing suits and could charm the pants off everyone, I guess. But yeah, they have said, can everyone please, out of respect,

stop saying that he's a hothead. Because there's memes and everything off the end of it. And you mentioned it's like you. So there's a series starring Penn Badgley on Netflix as well, which is called You. Yep. And he, without giving too much away,

he's a killer. He's a stalker. He's a stalker. And he's obviously pretty hot because he's from Gossip Girl. It's Penn Badgley. He's a babe and everyone's tweeting, you know, like...

You can stalk me. You can stalk me. And that's kind of inappropriate, but. But he's fictional. Yeah. Yeah. That's a fictional character in the series. So we want to talk about attractions to people that you probably shouldn't be attracted to.

Who do you find hot that you probably shouldn't? Well, you remember that guy that was a mugshot guy? Jeremy Meeks. Producer Caitlin, you. Straight away, no, then you're the name. You loved Hot Criminal Guy. Everyone did. I don't know, like, because obviously we all love a bad boy.

Did we ever find out what he'd done? I think it was just, like, robbery or something. That's fine. It was armed robbery and aggravated assault. Oh, okay. So something quite horrible. Yeah, yeah. I know.

And, like, obviously there's terrible people in the world, but you just can't help who you're attracted to. But people write letters to like killers and stuff in prison. That's weird. Well, no, David Bain, he's got a wife now because she wrote to him in prison. That's how they met. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah. So, yeah, I mean, it doesn't have to be criminals though, right? We can talk about anyone that you shouldn't be, you think you shouldn't be attracted to. There was that big situation when The Sopranos was on. James Gandolfini, not at all... Attractive. Stereotypically the lead man on TV that people would find attractive,

but they did. It was like people who just thought Tony Soprano was just a hot piece of... Italian sausage. Because he's a bad boy. Yeah, yeah, I guess it was the power Because he's a bad boy. Yeah, yeah. I guess it was the power and he's a bad boy. He'd murder people on the show. Yeah.

And again, fictitious, so easier to sort of write off as, oh, yeah, I can find him hot. He's not actually done any of that stuff. He's an actor. Yeah. He's an actor. Okay, so who do you find attractive that you shouldn't? We're talking about being attractive to people you probably shouldn't.

Everyone's watching the Ted Bundy documentary on Netflix and saying, what a hottie. Well, he was a good-looking serial killer. That's how he did it. That's how he got it. Good-looking. But that's how he got his victims, yeah. So we've asked you who you're attracted to

that you probably shouldn't be. Wow. On Instagram, here are some of the Instagram responses. Someone said, I'm going to leave names out of this. Obviously, that would get people seriously into trouble. My brother-in-law. Oh, okay. Somebody says.

Wow. Okay. My co-worker, but my husband works in the same company. Somebody says. Okay, wow. Someone called Emma said, Locky Wiggle. He's the purple one. But then he was married to the yellow Wiggle called,

and she was Emma as well. So this is Emma. Was he the one Wiggle that was always falling asleep? No, that was Jeff, the original purple Wiggle. He handed over the reins of the purple Skivvy to Locky. Right. Locky's young. Oh, Locky's pretty cute.

I think he still does a bit of sleeping, but perhaps not as much as Jeff did. And also, didn't him and yellow Wiggle break up? Yeah, they did. Yeah, he's single now. Yeah, they weren not as much as Jeff did. And also, didn't him and Yellow Wiggle break up? Yeah, they did. Yeah, he's single now. Yeah, they weren't even married for that long. Single and rich. Well, that's what happens.

You mix yellow and purple and you just get like brown. So you've got to, you know, the yellow and the blue could have been together and then they could have had a Green Wiggle. Would have been a great little outcome. Somebody said the HR guy at work. Okay. Double no-no because he's got a partner and I've got a partner and also he's the HR guy, so he would directly have to give you a warning.

So when you sexually harass him. He would know all the paperwork. He'd give you straight away. Yeah. He'd probably have the form on his desk. He's like, oh, that sexual harassment. I've got a form for that. I've got to fill that out.

So, yeah, who you shouldn't be attracted to, but you are. Okay, we'll take some calls. Laurie, who are you attracted to that you probably shouldn't be? Hi, Pablo Escobar. Wow. Actual, actual. It's really weird. See, I'm not attracted to people like that in my real life.

Right. When we watch it, I literally lose my mind and I tell my husband, I'm like, lover, look off to the distance and stick your gut out. So he's just like looking off to the distance and like thinking about stuff. But are we talking about the actor that played Pablo Escobar on Narcos or are we talking about actual Pablo Escobar?

Well, it started with the actor and then I searched up way like heaps about the actual one and I was like, oh, he's just so hairy and gross and, you know, he's got that perfect dad spot and, yeah. You just described him as hairy and gross, but you're totally into it. Is it because of... Because he's, like, so awful and done so many awful, awful things.

But you're attracted to that. He is responsible for killing untold amounts of people. I don't know if it's really wrong. Yeah, okay. It's really hot. Okay. Wow. Laurie, thanks for your call.

Some text messages in. Somebody said, my sexual awakening was Professor Snape on Harry Potter. Jeez. What a sexual awakening to have. Yeah, wow. He is, I get that though. Powerful, grumpy.

Yeah, great. Alan Rickman has such a good voice. That's is, I get that though. Powerful, grumpy. I think it's the voice. Yeah, great. Alan Rickman has such a good voice. That's right, I forgot he died. Brooding. Yeah. RIP. Great man. Someone said, my kid's school principal.

Ooh. Hot man, knows how to work a suit and always smells good. Ooh. Okay. Mmm. And you know, he could. Why did you do that thing and you bit your lip? He could take you into the office and let you ring the school bell.

Is that not on a timer? I thought it was all done on timers now. Maybe he'll let you manually ring it. Oh my God. Imagine the overrides. I would have a manual overrides. He overrides the manual. Oh yeah.

He's like, so that's on a timer. But some of us... He's that powerful. Some of us have the key to the override. Stand back, sweetheart. Click sweetheart click open she's like see she's all on don't do that again she's all right that was me ringing the bell not telling anything i've got an anonymous caller uh anonymous caller who are you attracted to that you shouldn't be oh the guy at work who works in the warehouse,

but I'm an executive PA, so that is a huge no-no. Is it like actually a company rule or it's just frowned upon? It would be majorly frowned upon, I would think. But that makes it more sexy. Yeah. A little bit, yeah, really, really hot. Just do it. Why not? Because you're not allowed, eh? That's why. That's what makes it more sexy. A little bit, yeah, really, really hot. Just do it. Why not?

Because you're not allowed, eh? That's why. That's what makes it extra hot. Yeah. Because you're not allowed. Yeah, right. Okay. Yeah.

So you're just going to leave it at that then? Yeah, we're both in relationships, so. Oh, there it is. But do you find lots of excuses to go to the warehouse? Always. Yeah. Nice. All right.

Thank you for sharing, Anonymous. And another anonymous caller. Another anonymous. Another anonymous caller. Good morning. Hi. Hi. We'll just put the voice disguiser on so this is working well.

Who are you attracted to that you shouldn't be? My partner's best friend. Oh dear. But like just think he's cute or like actually attracted? Actually have an attraction to him. Oh dear. Yeah, it's really hard because, because... You've got a partner? because I went a whole different way of like nationality-wise, and I'm used to blonde hair and blue eyes, and my partner's Maori, so it's like I've got that natural attraction anyway,

but it's just beautiful. It's just beautiful. Wow, okay. I know, it's really bad. But you remember the grass is always greener on the other side of the Pacific, so just... Always, always. Okay, well, good.

Are you tempted to act on this, or are you just... No. I'd say by the breathing alone, I'd say yes. All right, thank you, anonymous caller. I'm more Texan. Somebody said, when I was young, if we're talking sexual awakenings, Captain Planet. The 90s cartoon. They said that really changed my whole perspective on saving the environment.

But see, if you wanted to get the attention of Captain Planet, you'd pollute. So they'd turn up and you'd be like, I was just doing this to get your attention. I love you. And somebody said, my 80 year old chemistry lecturer. I'm 22. Wow. Oh no, I was going to say chemistry's not very sexy either, but it could be.

When you're mixing stuff and it bubbles over. And then you have to evacuate the lab because of the poisonous chemicals that are coming off it. And then, you know, there's a dangerous... Oh, so sexy. And then someone has to get out the dangerous spill kit. Oh, so sexy. Fact of the day, day know, all the time, all through your life,

you'll hear voice recordings and not think anything of them. Like, you know, when you're ringing, you get put on hold, and it's someone being like, and press one. And it's not just like, sometimes they just get the office person to do it. I think about them because I don't know if it's because we work in radio, but I'm always judgy of the voice. But it's also weird working on radio so many times we'll ring somewhere and it's someone that works here.

Yeah. Upstairs or something that's done a voicing job somewhere and you're like, oh, you're the whole voice for so-and-so. The one that annoys me is when we go to the airport for work and there's a, please take your tuk-tuk. The airport. Oh, yeah, the parking. Please take your tuck-out.

Please remember to take your tuck-out. Please take your tuck-out. And it's someone from the office, definitely. And I'm just like, oh, come on. Like, just... Please remember to take your tuck-out. Please remember to take your tuck-out. Please remember to take your tuck-out.

Please remember to take your tuck-out. I mean, they're lovely. They're probably lovely. They're probably lovely. They are probably lovely. I'm one to talk. Someone said the other day they're in Scotland and they used my voice as an example of a, quote, strong and annoying New Zealand accent. This was a friend of mine.

Oh, yay. You want to hear a strong, annoying Kiwi accent. They're not all like cute and rinky dinky. And here's mine. It's a rough fake. I'm so glad they had the option of me too. I'm so glad they went with you. Bypassed.

Well, yeah, you're right though. We can't talk. Yeah, but so one of the most famous and mostly unidentifiable voices of the 90s was when you opened, America Online was AOL. And they also shared under different names email services around the world in the early days of the internet.

Right. And one was, famously, there was a Tom Hanks, Meg Ryan movie called You've Got Mail. Right. And the AOL guy's voice said, you've got mail. You've got mail. Whenever you had new email. Well, today's fact of the day is the guy who recorded You've Got Mail, Alwood Edwards, is now an Uber driver.

Here is audio of someone getting into his Uber and recognising his voice. This is my Uber driver and he just told me something very special, that he's the voice behind... Welcome, You've Got Mail. Oh my God! Yay! Do it again, do it again. Welcome, You've Got Mail. Yay! god! Yay! Do it again, do it again. Welcome, you've got mail. Yay! Okay, what's your

name? Elwood Edwards. Elwood Edwards, thank you. You bet. So after I found that video, I searched his name and that's pretty much his whole gig outside of Uber driving is just people asking him to say you've got mail. He gets interviewed on internet shows,

shows about what the 90s were like. Yeah. Or any sort of retro thing to do with the early days of the internet. Elwood Edwards is on there just literally going, welcome, you've got mail. And saying it over and over. So I read a bit more about how he got the gig. His wife was working at a software company.

Yeah. That was developing this. And she said, oh, they need a voice. They need a voice to say that people have got email. And he's like, what's email? She explains and he's like, okay. She's like, you've done a bit of voicing stuff. Why don't you record it on a tape and send it in?

And he's like, okay. So he recorded it on a tape and sent it in. And that was the actual audio they used. They didn't get him in for a special recording session. So he did get paid? He got paid $200. What? And that was all.

When they're like, oh, yeah, that's really good. $200, okay. He's like, yeah. And that was always used in movies. Everything. Everything. So it got out that he only got paid $200. Yeah.

And everyone then started asking him, is it true you only got paid $200? And at the start, early interviews, he's like, yeah. And then later on, he must have got a little kickback or something because he's like, oh, no, there's a very good relationship. The initial payment was $200. There's a very good relationship. Oh, okay. So I don't know if that's come back to him.

Well, that's good they made good. And helped him out. But yeah, today, he's an Uber driver. Wow. So today's fact of the day is the guy behind the famous, you've got mail, is now an Uber driver. Wow. So today's fact of the day is the guy behind the famous You've Got Mail is now an Uber driver. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Do you guys eat in your car? Oh, Fletch doesn't have a car. Did you eat in your car? Oh, Fletch doesn't have a car.

Did you eat in your car? I ate in my car yesterday. When I had a car, yeah, it was pretty bad. Like sometimes the passengers' well would just be, a footwell would just be bags of takeaways. We all had a mate like that. Everybody's got a mate that's footwell is... Rubbish.

Food well. See, well, I clean all the rubbish out of my car, but when we got our new car, we're like, we're never eating in this. That didn't last long. Why not? Because you're doing a road trip. Because we wanted to keep it clean and like crumbs and stuff,

and it just ends up being dirty. You wait till you have kids. You get the car seat in the back, and then like once in a blue moon, you're like, I'm going to clean the car out, or I need to take the car seats out to put them in a different car. And under it, you're just like, how did this all get here? Right.

There's like fries and biscuit and fruit and like it's in a chain. And it all like just gets pushed under there. Right. You get mice. In your car. Could totally do it. God, imagine driving. Put either an apple in my car every morning on the way to work.

What do you do with the core? Eat it all. And then chuck every morning on the way to work. What do you do with the core? Eat it all. And then chuck the stick out the window. Okay. So you said you clean. Yeah, I know people think it's weird when I eat the whole apple, but. Nah, sometimes I eat the whole thing too. Yeah.

It's like if you're having the calories, you might as well eat the whole thing. Sure. So you said you clean the interior of your car once in a blue moon. Would it be once a year? Less. So there's a study. Well, ever since work poo-pooed us when we take it to the airport, going like, yeah, just start parking for a day in a valet,

but can you make the valet look like it was in a valet? Yeah, that was fraud. What you were doing was fraud there, where you were getting the company to pay for your car cleaning. Yeah, but just saying that was our expensive parking lot. Yeah. Put down, we parked for two days. Even though it's one day.

One of the days could be a valet. Again, that's fraud. Yeah. Light fraud. Light fraud, though. Oh, very light fraud. So a survey of 1,000 drivers in the US has gone into the study of their car and how clean it is, and 32% of them said they only cleaned the interior of their car once a year.

And 12% said they just never cleaned inside. You can wash outside the car but you often forget about inside. Or you might just pick up the receipts and stuff out of the car but you've not properly cleaned it. So this might change your mind on cleaning the inside of your car. The average car it has been found has 700

different strains of bacteria. Oh, God. How many are bad, though? Oh, I don't know. So if you drop a nuggy, you're rolling the dice, picking that up and eating it. Where are you dropping it?

Maybe between your lap, onto the seat, or onto the floor. Yeah, but see, on the seat's got fart dust on it. Okay. Fart dust. Not good. That's a thing. But the floor, well, the floor would be a carpeted surface anyway. And I never eat something that's been on the carpet because it always gets the fur and the hair in it. No, you just blow on the nugget.

Do you know, if you're eating in your car and you drop it on the floor, the floor is the least of your worries. If you're already eating in your car, you might as well eat off the floor of the car. Okay. Because the steering wheel is the worst. You think of how many times you actually clean the interior of your car, you probably don't wipe the steering wheel. So what should you do? Give it a little antibacterial wipe?

Often. Often, right. The average steering wheel was found to have four times the amount of colony forming per bacteria per square centimetre than a public toilet seat. Oh, yuck. Okay, right. So I'd say that's not very nice, that bad bacteria. Have some wipes in your glove box. Yeah.

I love it. You always have a wet wipe in the car. It's the greatest thing to have in the glove box is a little wet wipe. And remember that story that said our phones are really gross and like full of bacteria? It has six times more bacteria than a mobile phone and twice as much as a public elevator button on your steering wheel, which you're touching all the time and some of you might be touching it right now.

So clean your car, you dirty animal. In fact, if you're listening right now, I dare lick it. No! I dare lick it. If you're listening. Lick it! Lick it! Lick it!

Lick it! Lick it! Lick it! Lick it! Lick it! Lick it! Lick it! Lick it! Lick it! Lick it! Lick it! Lick it! Lick it! Lick it! Lick it! Lick it! Lick it! Lick it! Lick it! Lick it! Lick it! Lick it, lick it, lick it, lick it, lick it. For the one person listening that actually licked it at that exact time, that would have been pretty cool.

Now, there's a couple of stories about love. Okay. And I mean, there's lots more stories about love, but they also met this criteria, love and cockroaches. Oh, God. I want to touch on really briefly the first one because James emailed this. I don't know why, though, because it came from producer James.

Doesn't speak a lot, but when he does, it's always pure gold. Yeah. That a man, this is the headline, man who dated cockroach for a year and had sex dreams about it say humans aren't as attractive. Why are they giving him the time of day? So this guy was dating a cockroach. Okay.

And he wanted to live with her forever. Okay. How did he know it was a her? I don't know. Maybe you can Google that. Okay. No, they actually do have little bumps where the boobies are. Like tiny ones.

So you could do like a cockroach bikini if you really wanted? Yes. Okay. I don't believe that, but. That's a great story. Megan was believing that. For a moment I thought that you were onto something. Does it have a name?

Last question. Lisa. Okay. Okay. And he actually, sadly, the reason this relationship didn't last is Lisa died. Oh. Okay. After a year.

Did he stand on her? He did what anybody does when they lose a loved one. He ate her. Oh, my God. I know. Was this a wild one or one that was like bread? Because you know how you can eat bread. It said he got it from Africa.

Oh, okay. Oh, okay. Oh, okay. Yeah, I wouldn't be yumming up a bug from Africa in too much of a hurry. No. I have some questions. But the other cockroach story is in England. And a zoo in England is letting you, for less than three New Zealand dollars, name a cockroach after your ex.

Wow, okay. For Valentine's Day. Right. So that's Day. Right. So that's pretty cool. I don't know what happens to these cockroaches if they're getting eaten. Or like,

because you know, they buy a lot of cockroaches to feed them to the lizards and the tuataras are a big fan. Yeah. And they might eat them. But yeah, you can buy,

because they go through, they have so many cockroaches there. Right. You can name these cockroaches for less than $3 after your ex. Great way of making a bit of cash. If it's going to be fed to something, I need them to film its demise. Yes, I'd imagine they'd do that for you. Or for an extra fee.

For a small extra fee. Okay. But also, I'm thinking back to the guy who was dating the cockroach. What if he names the cockroach after his ex? Lisa falls in love with this one. Yeah. Also, on behalf of humanity, ouch. We're not as attractive as cockroaches.

That is mean. If a cockroach said that, I'd be like, I get it. But it was a human that said it. That we're not as attractive. Also, you can't just assume that because he loved Lisa the cockroach, he'd love like Rachel the cockroach. Because different personalities, you know?

Yeah, very, very different. Both could survive a nuclear fallout. And oven cleaner. Yeah. Because I've tried to get one with oven cleaner. Me too. And it's bloody scuffled away. I was like, when will you die?

Where are you going? Yeah. Exactly. Was it one of those big ones like when you go to Thailand or Fiji and they have big cockroaches? It was like a tropical-sized cockroach. Not like a Kiwi-looking cockroach. Yeah, those are Thai.

Our ones are little. Yeah, they can get big, but this one's a bit bigger than that. Oh, grim. But he dated. I don't know where they went on their dates and stuff. And how sex-trained he was. You couldn't take a cockroach to like a restaurant because they'd lose their food rating.

They would, they'd freak. They need somewhere woody, like the shed or something, for a day. Yes. The woodpile. But then you'd lose her in the woodpile. Lisa, it's time to go. Lisa, find your own way home, you bitch. I bet you're in there with another cockroach, aren't you?

ZDM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. Runway home, you bitch. I bet you're in there with another cockroach, aren't you?