ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Megan Podcast - July 03 2019

Episode Date: July 2, 2019

Vaughan got his power bill yesterday and he is not happy! Community Notices and what did you snoop over someone's shoulder?See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

ZM. Head music lives here. Fletch Warner Megan, the podcast. Thanks, Anya. Good morning. Welcome to the show, Fletch Warner Megan. I'm looking at photos of this Wellington freight train derailment. That looks like it's right behind the cake tin, behind the stadium. Oh, yeah. You can see the walkway under there, can't you? Apparently they derailed and came off, but the driver or the person in charge couldn't stop the train for another engineer, they call them, that was the word,

for another 230 metres. What? I don't know. What part of it derailed? Well, do you know, it looks like, you know, those tracks that'sy switchy, maybe they weren't properly switchy switchy. Right.

You know, there's that big lever, or they're probably done automatically now. I don't know. Yeah. But then surely if it went for another 230 metres, it was the not engine part of the train that derailed. Because if an engine came off its rails, imagine the damage it would do if it kept going. The container. So the incident damage tracks and turnouts at the junction

of the Carpity, Harp Valley, Melling and Wairarapa lines. So yeah, it is going to affect a lot of people this morning. So I'm sure as soon as we hear word from Metlink, they were saying that repairs would happen into the night. So we can let you know as soon as that's up and running. Not great news. And then Lake Taupo, full of poos. Yeah.

Sewerage running into the beautiful lake. So a landslide broke a pipe. And then all your poos is in the lake now. And fishermen are saying you've been told not to fish. Is it trout season at the moment? Lovely trout. Lovely rainbow trout there. They're a little more of a brown

trout this morning than a lovely rainbow trout. So there's a few things happening. Alright you lot, listen up. It's Storytime. Storytime, I've found unsourced three news headlines for stories. Interesting, quirky, odd, unusual stories.

Vaughan and Megan, pick one of the following three. Headline one, Perth family high on life. Headline two, climate change boiling away lobster industry. And headline three, twin swapsies. Ooh. Boiling away. So it's climate change, obviously, lobsters. boiling water so it's climate change obviously

lobsters are lobsters like because shellfish actually require a colder water temperature don't they to get a bluff oyster the size of it

like oysters don't grow as well in a warmer that's why they're so good in bluff aren't they the oysters they're like a colder a colder environment

yeah that's why oysters are smaller if you can get them in a tropical They're so good in bluff, aren't they, the oysters? Yeah, they're like a colder environment. Yeah. That's why oysters are smaller if you can get them in a tropical country. I didn't know that. What was one again? Perth family high on life. Or you've got the twin swapsies. Yeah, that's just your straight. I don't have the twin swapsies.

What did they swap though? Partners. Organs. No. Genders. No. I think I want to know about the Perth family. They're high on life.

Okay. Yeah, let's go with that. We're going now to Perth. We're at Perth family. Say they were hospitalized after eating a brownie laced with marijuana sold to them at Butterbing Cafe and Woodlands in Perth. Oh, my. The two children, five and three, reportedly began acting strangely and complaining of hallucinations after they ate part of the brownie on March 2nd. Urine tests confirmed the presence of THC,

the primary psychoactive constitute of cannabis, in the mother and both of her two children. Now, the parents have asked for their surnames not to be used and said their children were still feeling the effects of the brownie more than three months later. God, is that possible? It is. It can affect people really bad, the psychoactive effects of it.

It can affect people really bad. I know a guy, and he, like, nine months felt the effects of it. Some people are just not cut out for it. No. That's the wrong one. That's not quite it. Some people don't have an agreeable reaction to it yeah right well the dad's saying he sat the daughter up on the bench uh and she said dad my eyes are going um

she didn't really understand what was going on but she said everything's jumping the walls are different colors pink and blue and the last one which really scared me uh was she said her vision's going she couldn't see anything. And his wife, Sharon, said the trip to the hospital was very frightening. That's awful. I think now they are being investigated, the cafe. But then there's a photo here of the cafe with the outdoor setting. It looks very fancy.

It doesn't look like, I was imagining one of those hippie cafes, you know, where all the staff are wearing those Bali elephant pants. Hem pants. Hem pants, you know, those pants you get in Bali in Southeast Asia. Have they said? Did they buy it from a third party? Yeah, did they buy it or did they make it? Well, that's the thing, they're investigating this. So whether or not it was a.

Did the chef make two brownies, one for them and one for him? Yeah, a classic mix-up. The chef was going to take his brownie home. And then that accidentally got... But then they're also saying that it could have been placed there. If the brownies are maybe open... Who would do that?

I don't know who would do that. Like you say, you don't know the kids. But it looks like a pretty nice place. It doesn't look like the place that would chuck out some brownies laced with marijuana. Chester and Giggle. Yeah, shits and gigs. But yeah, it's a court process and will go before the magistrate's court on July 19. Wow.

But yeah, facing two charges over the Provisions of Food Act. Wow. That's crazy, right? Yeah, especially kids are affected. That's terrible. That could be a good idea for your weekend sales, Megan. Brownies. Brownies.

There's already brownies in there. But then there's a brownie and they come in, they're like, brownie, wink. Wink. I'll have a brownie. Winky brownies. Winky brownies. Winky brownies.

Yeah. What's a winky brownie? I mean, it's illegal, but... Yes. Oh, yeah, it is illegal. I mean, obviously we're joking. Yeah. I just wanted to make sure.

Oh, good. Yeah. Fleshforn and Megan, the podcast. ZM. So there has been a rise in STIs. We need to talk about syphilis and gonorrhea, guys. Oh, do we? They don't sound attractive. I don't actually know. I feel like every time we talk about syphilis and gonorrhea, guys. Oh, do we? They don't sound attractive.

I don't actually know. I feel like every time we talk about these, we have to Google what they do and how they present themselves. Which one doesn't present themselves? Chlamydia. Chlamydia. Chlamydia. You don't know that you have it all the time.

Yep. So sexually transmitted infections, specifically syphilis and gonorrhea, are on the rise. So there were 548 syphilis cases in last year, or the year ending March 2019. And the syphilis rates have increased more than 560% in the past five years. But I, granted, I'm not sexually active both in my relationship or out of it.

But I wouldn't have, I'm seeing lots of advertising. Oh, okay. Like there's these massive billboards. I'm imagining slightly more targeting the gay community. Right. But yeah, we were coming into the city

and we pulled off just off K Road. Yeah. Which is kind of, if you're not familiar with Auckland, it would be, what would you say? It was like the hub of the gay revolution in Auckland, wouldn't you? Sure, yeah.

Where it was acceptable far before it was accepted generally. And there was this massive billboard of this dude and he's just covering his junk and it's very eye-catching. Right. And then it's advertising safe sex. It's like, don covering his junk and it's very eye-catching. Right. And then it's advertising safe centers. Like, don't forget your contacts.

Very eye-catching. Did you drive off the road? I was like, who? His shadow was like, who? Whoa. But, like, that's what it takes. Yeah, yeah. And people are like, my children might see it.

Well, like, they're your children. Just explain it to them. Or... Are they going to grow up and help with these statistics. Or just be like, well, that man's just advertising gloves that you buy one finger at a time. Well, they're your kids. Lie to them.

You lie to them all the time about stuff if you're not comfortable with telling them the truth. But I would have thought there's so much advertising and stuff out there at the moment for safe sex. I would have thought as much as I've ever known it to be. Yeah. So half of the syphilis cases were in Auckland. So

245 cases in Auckland. In the last, like, how long? In the last year. Yeah, okay, right. Yeah. Month. I was going to say, like, we've got a problem. Yeah, I was going to say how bad is it? So Canterbury has a bit of an ish too. Wellington and Waikato have the issue.

But syphilis is most common between men who had sex with men. But they're saying there is a concerning increase in heterosexual people as well. Guys, this is, it's quite intense. What?

Syphilis. Starts out Do we want to know? with a couple of sores on the mouth or genital area. Okay. Then you start getting four to ten weeks after the initial infection, you can start getting like a body rash.

And then three to 15 years after initial infection, if not treated, can affect internal organs such as the heart, the brain, your bone integrity, and your liver. Good Lord. So if you're just like a little bit of a rash and like sores on your lips or whatever, you're like, oh, I'm too embarrassed to go. And then did they go away?

And then like later it's like, ha-ha. Yeah, yeah. I don't get that. Who would be too embarrassed if you're like festering and all yuck to not go? So many people. Well, you've just called it festering and yuck, so there's a certain connotation attached to it.

Yeah, okay, yeah, true. Wow. But I mean, that's why you should always get checked up every, you know, depending on how sexually active you are, you should be going every. They also need to make these easier to spell. Syphilis is an absolute nightmare to spell. So there's been an increase in congenital syphilis cases as well. So that's when it's passed from the mum to baby in pregnancy.

So maybe that's mums who just weren't aware that they had it. Well, yeah, because there's no symptoms showing. Yeah, that's been increasing as well. It says here gonorrhea is called the clap. I thought it was chlamydia that was called the clap. I don't know. Gonorrhea. Also hard to spell.

Very hard to spell. Is that why they called it the clap? It ends the same way as diarrhea, but starts with gone on. Yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh. Treatable by, yeah, it can be treatable, but it also can have no symptoms. Wow.

Okay. This is serious, guys. So, yeah. Maybe just maintenance checks even. Like, just go to the doctor and be like, hey, is everything all good? It's easy when you're getting your car a warrant of fitness. Get yourself a? Easy way to remember when you get in your car, a warrant of fitness. Get yourself a warrant of fitness. Yeah, okay.

Yeah, Jenny's a warrant of fitness. No, but what if you've got a new car? That's every year. That's not enough. Or like a brand new car. Well, imagine you've just got a crappy car. It's every six months. So get it done when you get the warrant of fitness.

And then get it done when you change the smoke alarm in your battery. Batteries in your smoke alarm. Or toothbrush. Every season you're supposed to change a toothbrush. Have you seen Vaughan's toothbrush? That'd be four years. No, I always read it. Your bristles are sideways. They're bent, but that's just because I brush because I mean it, baby.

From the ZM Think Tank, this is the Top Six. Well, Aucklanders have been asked to save water after a record dry spell for the region. It's dry July. Well, it's been very dry up to July. And that is not only in Auckland, it's further around the country as well.

Yeah, it just seems ridiculous. It seems like it's just non-stop rain all the time. So, total water storage is under 60%, 25% normal, 25% less than normal for this time of year, of course, because we're in winter and we get lots of rain in autumn and winter. The Waitakere Ranges have received 44% less rainfall. So that's your West Auckland water collection for Aucklanders. And the Honua Dams are down 34%. That's sort of your southeast.

Yeah, right. So, yeah, overall water. But then around the rest of the country as well, 53% less rain for Hamilton. Whangarei, 44% less rain. I was reading a big article about huge cities overseas that have the potential. Because what?

Was it somewhere in South Africa, a city, or was it India that ran out of water? South Africa's run out of water. Yeah, yeah. Just runs out. They just don't have any in their reserve. Cities with millions of people. Like, it's pretty scary.

The future is scary. I'm going to have to buy some of those water containers at the supermarket, aren't I? Well, I just had a boar dug. Don't tell anybody. Oh, really? Yeah. Have you tapped into Mother Earth's supple underground supplies? Is that not allowed?

No, no, no, no, no. Don't think I don't know. I've got consent. Well, you said don't tell anybody. I've got the tick off. I've got an ewe tick. No, because you don't want to tell people because then when the great water shortage of 20, 40 hits,

people will be coming around with guns and taking over your room with guns. You can't come around with guns. You can't put much water down a gun. Just bring a bottle. You're going to have to start building a fence. A barrier fence. Yeah. A wall right around your property.

Am I doomsday prepping now? It feels like I'm doomsday prepping. You are. You are. Yes. I've been waiting for this day. So the top six ways Aucklanders can save water. You know, there's the traditional ways.

Blah, blah, boring. These are the top six good ways to save water. Number six, bathe in puddles. Okay, good, yeah. That's a good one. Roll around in the puddle there. What if they're muddy?

Great for the skin. Oh, okay, yeah, yeah. It's a mud bath. Yeah, okay. Like pigs always look so youthful, don't they? Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah, they do actually. Until they're on your plate. Mmm. I know you're not too worried about it. Yummy. Number four, number five. I wasn't going to skip number five. Number five on the list of the top six ways for Aucklanders

and Upper North Islanders to save water. Water your garden by spitting on it. Also really reasserting who the alpha male is. Yeah. When you spit on the... Not ideal though with the current phlegmies and... I'd say more ideal than either. Okay, right.

You've got a little extra to spare. You can't give your garden a flu. Yeah, this is true. Yeah, the lilies of... Yeah. Number four on the list of the top six ways for upper North Islanders to save water, and maybe everybody else if they want to give it a go, wash your clothes in the toilet cistern.

Oh, okay. Because there's, you've got to've got pretty much a sink there. Yeah. And then to rinse them off, just put them in the bowl part and flush it. Good idea. That's pretty good. Go wheezing there first. No need to completely waste the water there.

Double using the water is the best way to save water. Number three on the list of the top six ways to save water, only shower when it rains. Oh, yeah, good idea. So when you see a rain coming in, as we're going to be getting more of in the winter, just rush outside there with your Radox body wash and wash off. Easy.

Wash off. Number two on the list of the top six ways to save water. Don't drink water out of the taps. Drink it out of plastic bottles. Oh, okay. You know, there's a fair bit of it out of plastic bottles. Oh, okay. You know, there's a fair bit of, ooh, plastic bottles are bad. But then they're not single use because you line up all the plastic bottles outside to catch more rain. Right.

How long is that going to take to fill those? Quite a while. Okay. Given the dry nature of the atmosphere at present. And number one on the top six ways to save water, brush your teeth with your tears. That's a good idea. No sugar in tears. Salt. Salty. That's not bad for your

teeth, is it? Just your cholesterol level. Yep. Just that'll do for it. Get in there. I don't know how you'll rinse that out at the end. Probably have to think of something really sad. Like your life. Oh my God.

That is today's top six. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. Well, a warning for anybody travelling to Thailand this year. Anybody? No. Nobody here? No, I went earlier.

You went... Start of the year. Start of the year. Well, it's looking like Thailand may soon force all international visitors to take out travel insurance when they enter the country. Upon arrival. Upon arrival. But what if you already have purchased travel insurance?

From what I've read, it doesn't say that you could show them your one, but it's only a dollar. So it's almost like a levy. I don't know what, I hope they're going to tack it on to kind of airfares, but it sounds like they're going to make you, when you land, when you do your passport and all that, you have to go to an office. And you already know how bad

it is in Thailand for those kind of, I don't know, Vietnam's the same, you've got to get a visa on arrival. It's just a pain in the, like, huge lines. It sounds more like a levy because it's only a dollar. Yeah, so it's going into a big fund and it'll give people coverage for 30 days.

How good is this coverage? I'm a bit worried. Probably not as good as your travel insurance if you've got a good travel insurance. But surely you could get both. You're just getting as extra. Because their travel insurance might cover something like you fall off your scooter and you go to a medical centre.

So how's about this? So apparently Australians, they're the worst. For every 100,000 Australian travellers to Thailand last year, there was a rate of 38 deaths and 37 hospitalisations. Every single day, an Australian dies or is hospitalized in Thailand. Oh my God. You can't see, but everyone's face is just like,

what? That's crazy, isn't it? That's insanely high. Australians are 6.5 times more likely to be killed on Thailand's roads than in traffic accident at home. Those are scurries.

The UN rates Thailand's roads as the second most deadly in the world. Scooters, right? Those are scooters. The UN rates Thailand's roads as the second most deadly in the world. Scooters, right? Yeah, scooters. Yeah, it's pretty chaotic. Scooters and people drive like absolute maniacs. Yeah. Yeah.

So then they kind of get the vibe of how to drive there. But if you're not from there and you go there hooning around on a scooter, you can get yourself in real trouble. Yeah. So, yeah, if you end up in hospital, I'm sure this will help you. But I don't imagine anyone's going to Thailand or travelling without travel insurance. No.

I'm glad you laughed at the end of that because we know for a fact people do. Well, I started saying it and then I was like, of course, people go on holiday without it. That's nuts. I'd just be too scared, like. Oh, yeah. Horrible.

Yeah, that is nuts. So something that you might have to look out for, whether or not that's at the airport or whatever in the future. Yeah, I don't mind paying that, but can we prepay it? Because I don't want to get stuck at the airport. Lines, and yeah, it's horrible, isn't it? Fletchbourne and Megan's Community Notices. Hello and welcome to Community Notices,

a segment of the show where we have a look at what's happening around New Zealand according to local Facebook pages. Now we're going to delve deep into Rakaia. Kilder. Kilder. To see what's happening in that small Canterbury village. Yep. Hamlet. Hamlet.

Town. Brilliant. But before we do, let's check in with some other pages. This comes from the Zero Waste in New Zealand page. Now I'm all for the Zero Waste in New Zealand page. You share tips on how to avoid being wasteful. Oh, yeah, okay. Zero Waste in New Zealand, but this one, something to be concerned about.

Hi, guys. So I used flour to dip raw chicken for dinner tonight. So they've coated some raw chicken there. I really want to put it back in the container with the rest of the flour. Is there a chance of getting sick? I won't do it. If so, please let me know if it'll be okay. I've sifted it out so there's no lumps from the chicken juice.

No, you've got to chuck that out. You'll get salmonella dub. That's the dip. That's the coating roll of the dice every time, isn't it? How much flour are you going to put in it? Because you know whatever's left is going down the sinkhole. Was there something else in that flour mixture? Was it just flour?

I'm hoping there was egg in. They might have gone like flour, egg, breadcrumbs. They might have gone between. Because you always run out of breadcrumbs and egg in the three schnitzel. Because I do this for schnitzel. And you're always left with a lot of flour. Schnitzel. Schnitzel.

Do you do schnitzel? Yeah, I love schnitzel. Man. It left with a lot of flour. Schnitzel. Schnitzel. Do you do schnitzel? Yeah, I love schnitzel. Man. It's my favourite. You can buy it crumbed. Come on. No, we all... That's not really crumbed enough.

You double crumb. Are you going to say what the mum always says? Yes. Supermarkets crumb the nasty bits so you can't see all the... Yeah, and the old meat. They marinate the old stuff and chuck it out. That's not true.

Slicing. That 100% is true. I don't think they're allowed to do that. So you get your schnitzel. You just get it as schnitzel, non-coated. Right. And you go flour, egg, breadcrumbs. Now in the breadcrumbs, that's where you put the party. Oh, right, yeah. That's where you put your

mixed herbs, whatever tickles your fancy. Then, this is the secret, you go back to the egg. Oh, yeah. And then you go back to the breadcrumb mix. You double coat. Double coating. Double coating the schnitzel. It's fancy in your house.

A pan with, you know, a good bit of oil in the bottom. I think you call it a shallow fry. Yep. Side, side, and then in the oven. And it's sort of maybe about 120. Okay. While you cook the rest of the schnitzel. All right, Josh Emmett, calm down. I'd actually like to see Josh Emm While you cook the rest of the schnitzel. All right, Josh Emmett, calm down.

I'd actually like to see Josh Emmett's take on a classic Christine schnitzel. That's my mum's, my mum does schnitzel. My mum doesn't double coat it. I'm just a little bit extra. No, I don't think Bev double coated her schnitzel. God, not in the 80s, mate. There wasn't enough crumb to go around. There wasn't enough beer.

No, you're right. Let's pop down to Rakaia, as promised. Rakaia? I apologise if I'm, Rakaia. I think you roll an R, Rakaia. Let's pop down to Rakaia, as promised. Rakaia? I apologise if I'm... Rakaia. I think he's rolling R. Rakaia. Yeah.

Rakaia. Where this has popped up on the Rakaia notice board over the weekend, Jessica and Robert Smith have got a joint Facebook page. Yeah. She doesn't trust them, obviously. Otherwise, Robert just isn't a Facebooker. He's got a past. To the person who wrote this, says Jessica Roberts-Smith,

very disappointed that you felt the need to write this note having discussed with other people and yet didn't have the courtesy to talk to us, which is the appropriate way to address the problem. The caravan stays until the person has the courtesy to come forward and discuss this in person. We don't bite. See, it sounds she does bite.

That sounded very biting. So what's happened? There's a caravan. There's a note. It don't bite. See, it sounds she does bite. That sounded very biting. So what's happened? There's a caravan. There's a note. It says to the householder, as regular users of the South Town Belt Road, we find it very irresponsible of you to have your caravan parked roadside and restricting the flow of traffic down to one lane

due to the amount of road your caravan takes up. We use this road regularly every day for personal and business and have witnessed some near misses when two vehicles tried to get past your caravan. We've had discussion with other road users in the district and we all believe you're creating a very dangerous traffic situation by leaving your caravan in its present position. We trust common sense will prevail

and you will remove your caravan off the road and make the road safe for traffic as it should be with thanks. So, see, I don't like confrontation so I would prefer to be told of a problem with a note. Yes, same. Or I would prefer to deliver my issue with something by a note.

Yes. Because that was quite, that wasn't overly aggressive. No, it was just like, hey, you're taking up half the road with your stupid caravan. Your caravan's on the side of the road. Yeah. But then they say they don't bite, but it feels like they... It was very bitey. Yeah.

So what's happened? It was very bitey. Well, that what's happened? It was very bitey. Well, that was only the start of it down in Rakaia for the weekend because somebody else got a note. Okay. It says, please do something about your barking dog. It nuts off every day for nothing. We've had enough.

And this is another joint Facebook account. So there must be something in the water in Rakaia where everybody's got a joint Facebook account. Can the person who please left this note in our back gate please private message us? If you know or if anybody has an issue with a dog barking in our area please message us as well and let us know.

Is it the same writer? No because the first one was printed off from a computer. This one's a handwritten all in caps. All in caps. But that's fair enough too. Barking dogs are bloody awful. They might be at work though. They might not know But that's fair enough too. Barking dogs are bloody awful. And they might have come over, you might not have been home.

They might not know. Yeah, well now they know. Okay. So they've got a chance to do something about it. That's not the only complaint that's been made. Trace has put on the Rakaia community page, some of you have sent a lot of complaints. Whoever made the complaint to the council

regarding our work vehicle, have the guts to come and speak to us first. We've been here for years. A lot of you will know the work vehicles. Not a good start to the working week. Ells are not the only work vehicles parked in Rakaia. Parking and barking. Good Lord.

It's all go. Well, Rebecca has put this on the Rakaia community notice board. She proposes a midwinter street party in Rakaia where caravans are used to block the roads completely. Yeah. And we'll station barking dogs dressed as reindeer on each corner. There'll be a quick demonstration

by the Rakaia Community Decency Society on how to have a conversation with your neighbour followed by a complimentary bagpipe lesson because apparently that's a problem as well. Somebody's playing bagpipes. And everyone will learn how to play Snoopy's Christmas. The party will include loud music, neighbours having a good time,

children hyped on sugar, making a lot of noise, skill buses running to keep the lights on and caravans blocking the streets. Currently three possible venues. More information will be available shortly.

Sounds like they do need a party to loosen up down. It sounds like they need some sort of community get together, don't they? Well, all the best to them. Yeah. And I hope that the parking

and the barking and all the other issues that require are sorted out this week, be it by passive-aggressive notes or finally going to talk to someone who you've got a problem with. That is our today's community notices. If you see anything on your local Facebook page,

screen cap it and send it to ours. We're FVMZM on Facebook. Fletchvorner Megan, the podcast. ZM. I'm just Googling what a biatric shower chair. Oh, yeah. Oh, okay. Like it's a shower assistant situation.

I'm just trying to get a grasp on all this medical equipment. So this is an expensive one. What's a commode? You've recently done your bathroom. Do you put in a commode? No. Isn't that just a flat fancy name for a toilet? I don't know.

A commode. I don't know. Figures have been released, statistics showing that New Zealanders have collected and not returned stuff given to them by hospitals. And it's pretty mind-blowing. It's pretty insane. More than $450,000 of health board medical equipment is missing or overdue for return. Now, that's like we're all taxpayers. So when we as taxpayers don't return our equipment, Megan,

we end up paying for more equipment. Don't dom me in. Who has crutches at their house? Yeah, but I paid a bond and they said when you return it, you get the bond back. So I didn't get my bond back. So technically I paid for it. You know who's a bloody shocker?

Who? Capital and Coast EHB. So that's Wellington and the Coast. 4,303 overdue items. If you put that in comparison, Auckland, which is New Zealand's biggest EHB, 541. Right. So nearly 4,500 and Auckland's got 500.

Wow. I don't know where are all the crutches and wheelchairs in Wellington. Probably bloody in Frank Kitts Park. Is that? In the drink. In the sea or the lake lagoon. Your home province, Taranaki, 1,782. So even that's like three times worse than Auckland's DHP.

Right. Waikato 616 Nelson Marlborough they reckon about 400 things missing wow so yeah

Capital and Coast what have you guys done some of the most expensive items a cough assist machine yeah this is I had to look up

what this is you put it on if you've got breathing difficulties and when you breathe in it notices that you're breathing in and it pumps a bit more

air in fills you up and then when you breathe out it sucks a bit more air in. Fills you up. And then when you breathe out, it sucks a bit more air out so it can help with lungs. Someone's probably turned that into a bloody bong, have they? Probably, yeah. You've got a $10,000 bong, basically. A $10,000 machine?

Just under $10,000. There's mattresses missing. That equates to about $5,000. Specialised wheelchair at $1,100. There's wheelchairs at $400 each. 400 pairs of crutches, which totals $5,000. Specialised wheelchair at $1,100. There's wheelchairs at $400 each. 400 pairs of crutches which totals $10,000. That shower seat I was talking about which is nearly

$2,000. And one mattress that does the lifting and the putting down and everything. $4,000 for one of those. That's missing. Who's not just taking that back? I guess if your bed turned into an uppy, lifty bed. Can they not just get people to go around and be like, oh, you're done with that, give it back?

Yeah, surely that could be one person's job. Yeah. But then what was the bond on your crutches that you never returned? $20. See, you can't... You told me just before that you'd bought those. No, I said because I didn't... Like, I took them and paid the bond.

So therefore, I bought them. Crutches must be more than $20, Megan. This is too much. They are. I had written down here. When you said an amnesty, an amnesty means you don't call out the person who's done it. It keeps it anonymous.

Are they offering an amnesty or are they just saying stop stealing our shit? I think they want them all back. Well, they can have them back. But you, see, what district health board was that from? That was Rotorua. So would that be Lakes? But do I have to take it back to there?

You should courier them. Well, let's courier them from work. Okay. And then you don't have to pay for the... Okay. What do you address it to? The hospital. Rotorua.

Rotorua. I'm sure they'll get there. But then do I get my $20 back? That was like years back as well. They'd have to go right back in their little library book to see who took them out. You don't deserve your $20 back. But to be fair, I've used them since. Because you keep having a bung.

Yeah. Yeah, right. Okay. Because they were like, do you need crutches? I was like, no, I've got my own. Have you had them customised in any way? No. Some like comfy bits put on the hand.

Yeah, some stickers and a bit of comfort around the elbow. But I'd like to know if anybody's got some medical equipment at home. No, no judge, unless you stole it. They will judge. Listen to them. They're judging me. Obviously medical equipment you're not using or needing now. We don't want to know if you've got like, you know.

And maybe you do plan to take it back. You just haven't got around to it. Yeah. Just wait until there's an ambulance down the street. You know you see an ambulance down the street and you walk out to see whose house it went into Well St John don't want you giving them all your crap either They might have room But they do go to the hospital

They can just pop it off Exactly that's what I'm saying Just like You guys What hospital are you going to? I've got a courier I've got a wheelchair back home Nana had it

St John's medical couriers They should just do a side business Yeah Pay for the Side hustle Because you know old people They call up the ambulance And the ambulance gets to them. Nothing wrong with them.

Yeah. And then they've driven all the way. There they could pick up your wheelchair and take it back to the hospital for them. All right, well, 0800-DARLS-AT-M, 9696. No judge, but what old medical equipment do you have at your house? Well, as a nation, we are stealing a lot

from our underfunded, already underfunded and struggling hospitals because according to statistics $450,000 worth of medical equipment hasn't been returned or is overdue

to be returned to PHBs. surely that's under below average estimate. Because I would have thought it would be way more.

Well that's what they know is missing. Yeah, exactly. Somebody said their wife works at Middlemore and if it's not nailed down, people will take it. Anything. Look, I'll take a tongue press.

If I'm left, if I'm in and they leave me alone in a room, I'll put on a rubber glove. I'll take a tongue press. You're just like, ah. And they walk out and they're like, what are you doing? Trying to make myself sick. Push it down too far. But we want to know from you if you've currently got some medical equipment at home.

Somebody said that they once broke their leg. They got given one crutch, singular crutch. That's when you can still use the other leg well, I suppose. And they are an insulation installer. So they use the crutch to install pink bats in a roof space. Perfect for pushing it into the corner. It's a great tool yeah right okay so it's a home insulation tool and also a handy device for when you hit your ankle again yeah right yeah uh claudia you had some uh equipment but what happened so i tore a ligament in my foot i went to A&E and we left and they gave us crutches and the line was

really long so dad was like you know what let's just go and we'll wait for the bill. So we were waiting for the bill but nothing ever turned up so we're like okay free crutches but then eventually we did get a letter and it said that if we do not pay or bring the crutches back, we'll be banned from A&E for one year. Oh my God. So you're in... I was like, well, if I'm dying, I'm not going to lose my chance. So I took them back and I'm allowed to go to A&E. Yeah, so you came in on a stretcher clinging to life after a car accident and they're like, no, no, no. Get her out.

Get her. Get her out. I know, mate. Her picture's on the wall. Yeah. Claudia, so you took them back? Yes, I took them back. So they have got them.

So I'm not keeping any crutches. Okay. Brilliant. Claudia, thanks for your call. Some other text messages in. Not something that needs to be returned, but every time a nurse came over to change my partner's bandages after surgery she had, the nurse would open

a brand new packet of scissors and then just leave them there. And at the end of it on her last visit, we're like, do you want all of these scissors back? She's like, nah, they were right. And there were seven pairs of the most amazing scissors. What? Because you know those scissors. I don't know why you need a new pair every time.

Maybe there's like an infection situation if it's like changing a dressing. Yeah, but take them and sterilise them. Yeah, and use them again. But I know what scissors they're talking about. They're handles, but they come down and then they're on an angle. Oh, yeah, good scissors. Those would be good for mum's sewing drawer. I was going to say, did mum have good scissors?

You were never allowed to use them. Catches you cutting paper. I had a smack once for using the sewing scissors on a thick cardboard. Okay, right. It was a well-earned smack. Natasha, what medical equipment do you have? Well, it was actually something I saw at the Papakura swimming pools over the

summer holidays. There was a whole family just rocking around in the hospital-branded towels. The towels that are like white with a green stripe that say like property of Middlemore or something. Yeah, it's just got white and blue with giant hospital written through the middle.

But the thing is, they're not even that big. No, they're not either. They don't even give a lot of coverage. Because you go hand towel, bath mat, standard towel, and then beach towels are always bigger. They're the biggest of the towel family. If you're rocking around with sort of a mid

hand towel, bath towel. Yeah, not big enough. That's not big enough. But that's why they write hospital on them so it's too embarrassing to use in public but obviously not. Thanks you, Natasha. Somebody said that they've got a very accident prone family. They've currently got four pairs of

crutches at home but after hearing that crutches are in shortage, they'll be taking them back as soon as possible. Oh, that's good. That's nice. Because you've got to just put them in the garage, don't you? Kind of forget about them. Yeah. I've got a shower seat from a previous accident at my house.

It's a great stool for using when painting. Step up onto it. It's just the right, it's like a step, step, ladder-sized frame. All great for just getting a good height to cut if you're cutting some wood. So it sounds like they've turned it into quite the hardware accessory there. Someone said we've got three moon boots at our house. Do you take moon boots back? See, I didn't think you took moon boots back.

Are they too manky? Because, like, the inside gets all manky and they cut the Velcro to fit your leg and stuff. I thought they were a one-time-only thing. Okay. Yeah. Somebody said it was actually working out. They did the maths on it.

It was cheaper to get a new pair of those scissors every time rather than the cost involved with going through the actual sterilisation process. Isn't it just a jug of hot water? Yeah, you just hold down the boiling button so it can't turn itself off. Like when you're making noodles in a hotel jug, you just hold the button down so it's like a

boiling pot so it can't turn itself off. Plus you want to burn away all that manky bacteria of someone who's washed their undies in the same jug that you're making noodles in. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. So we spoke about the Hell Pizza burger meat debacle that happened and when we originally spoke about the Hell Pizza burger meat debacle that happened.

And when we originally spoke about it, we thought it had been listed as beyond meat. So this is where Hell Pizza said, look, we've got this pizza. It's a burger patty pizza. Yep. A burger pizza. Yes. So originally the burger was listed as, well, the ingredients said, including medium rare burger patty. So people believed they were buying a pizza

and it had like chunks of medium rare burger patty is how they listed it. So then lots of people were outraged at the fact that they were just like duped. Other people were worried about allergies. Because they sold this for a while and then said, surprise. It's actually not meat. Yeah. And then now it's listed on the website as being while and then said, surprise. It's actually not meat. Yeah.

And then now it's listed on the website as being beyond meat. Yeah, trademark. So they have said, the general manager did say that although they were told the patties were plant-based, it was only if they'd asked. Right. They've said, you know, there are a lot of people concerned about potential for allergic reactions because there's the pea protein in patties and people who are allergic to legumes, that can be a serious issue. He said people with serious allergies do ask for that information and the people complaining about allergies aren't people who have eaten it.

They're people who are saying, but what if I had? Right. He said that it wasn't a common allergy as well, which I don't think is an excuse. But it turns out now the Ministry of Primary Industries is going to meet with hell over this. MPIs come in. Also the Fair Trading Act, they may be in breach of that too because they...

But how much are they going to be fined or have to pay compared to the free advertising they've got over the last week? I'm sure that's something that they have looked into. I'm pretty sure that's something they weighed up before they did this. Yeah.

They wouldn't have just gone out and done this and... I know because I do kind of want to try it now. I know, right? Just to see if it really tastes like burger meat. Yeah. But they might be in trouble. I'm a mum.

I'm a mum. I'm a mum. I'm a mum. I be in trouble. I'm a mum. I'm a mum. I'm a mum. I'm a mum. I'm a mum. I sure hope this pre-recorded laughing isn't after something inappropriate to laugh at, but I just want to take a moment to say thanks to Spark for sponsoring the Fletch, Fawn and Megan podcast. You can grab Spark's $29 prepaid rollover packs and get stacks of extra value. Back to the podcast.

Lewis Capaldi on CDM, who looked a bit lost at Glastonbury, like, oh my God. Yeah, he looked like someone's lost auntie. I just love him though. Yeah, he's really great. He's very refreshing. This is pretty scary. We all make jokes about how cockroaches

would survive a nuclear blast or something, eh? Is that actually true? Yeah, it's actually true. But you can get them with an oven cleaner, eh? Yeah. Well, you just squish them. Or stomp them. Or, it's actually true. Right. But you can get them with oven cleaner, eh? Yeah. Well, you just squish them. Or stomp them. Or stomp them, yeah.

Yeah. So there's been a new study that has found that German cockroaches, that apparently is the most common insect in the world. Yeah, the German cockroach. Most common type of cockroach in the world. Most common species of, oh yeah, of the insect in the world. I was going to say because like ants. Yeah, yeah.

True. So they are developing a cross resistance to insecticides. Goodness me. So they have, researchers have found that they have been, in some cases, not able to reduce cockroach numbers. Because they won't die. Yeah. Why won't you die? So, yeah, you're literally going to have to go around and stomp them all.

That could be a new Marvel villain, cockroach man. You probably have to come up with a catchier name. The Roach. The Roach, yeah, the Roach. The Roach. There probably is a superhero based on a cockroach. Let me just have a quick. Probably.

Superhero based on roach. The roach. There probably is a superhero based on a cockroach. Let me just have a quick. Probably. Superhero based on cockroach. So they tested a bunch of different insecticides from different classes over a six-month period. And yeah, they've developed a resistance to a few of them, which is pretty damn scary. They haven't been able to resist the stomping though. So you've just got to be able to stomp them. The day you go to stomp one and you go, and your foot gets stopped and then you look down and it's holding up your foot,

you're all in so much trouble. Do you remember your dad went after the cockroach with the electric tennis racket, didn't he? He loves that. But then he just swatted it against the wall. Did he buy that out of the Magnum Ale or whatever it's called? He loves that. But then, yeah, just squishes it against the wall. Did he buy that out of the Magnum Ale or whatever it's called? So good. He loves that.

But then, yeah, just squishes it against the wall and then electrocutes it. It's really sad. He's like, listen, listen. And it's like, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow. Flesh, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast, ZM. So yesterday we're chatting here, friends chatting, and Megan floated the idea that what was it? You'd.

Because we had a hard day. So Andrew said, we're going to go home. We're going to treat ourselves, turn the heat pump on. He said, you know what we're going to do? Damn it, we're going to turn the heat pump on. And he said, like, we can sit in the lounge all cosy and watch some TV. And you said not even wear that many clothes. Yeah.

Yeah. And it would be nice and toasty. Forget your hoodie and your thick rugby socks. We're going to look... This is how we treat ourselves. But this is how sad New Zealand houses are, right? Like you go overseas in winter and you're like, oh, it's fine inside without a heater on.

Yeah. But here it's... But here it's like if you put that heat pump on, you are getting a power bill. Yeah. But here it's... But here it's like, if you put that heat pump on, you are getting a power bill. Yeah. And it's not going to be pretty. Just like it feels as cold as outside. When you put the heat pump on,

the heat's probably still leaking outside. So you haven't had your heat pump on at all? So we don't put it on in summer or winter ever. So when it's really cold, like a few weeks ago, when everywhere was snowing around the country and it was even in Auckland city was cold. Yeah.

What did you do? Put a jacket on. And you sat in your lounge in the cold. I bought some slippers from the supermarket. They are good. Here's the thing,

like even on a night like that, and this is a conversation, ironically, that we had as you're about to find out. Yeah. You all buy a pair of shoes that cost heaps,

but why don't you just put the hate pump on a couple of days? I can just put a jacket on and I'm warm. I just think it's a waste. It's going to cost me extra money when I've already got clothes

in the house that I can wear. But then we'll drop however many hundreds of dollars on a pair of shoes. Yeah, but then I've got those shoes. It's a tangible good. You know, I don't like spending money on things that aren't tangible that I can hold in my hand.

That you can't see at all. Like heat. Yeah. Very hard to hold warm air. Like I'll have to go to the doctor like four times a winter because I'm sick and spend all the money at the chemist on cold and flu stuff. But it's a tangible good.

Exactly, yes. It was when Megan said that turning on the, it's a tangible good. Exactly. So, it was when Megan said that turning on the heat pump is a treat in her house, I said, ours lives on. Yeah. Ours.

You just leave yours on all the time. The, like, one end of the house has got like a thing in the ceiling and it pumps the vents into the room. Right.

It was a place when we moved in and my dad said to Sade, we just leave ours on. We turn it down. During the day, we turn it down to 16. So the house is above 16, but it just keeps it. And then apparently when you turn it back on later,

it's already half warmed up. Some nonsense he's been told somewhere. Right, okay. But I said to Sade, well, okay, we can try that. But you're just leaving it on all day on 20. Oh, I see. So she's leaving the leaving it on all day on 20. Oh, let's see. So she's leaving the heat pump on all day without even being there. Or she is there.

Oh, she's there, but not all the time. What if she goes out? It stays on. Oh, she leaves it on. Oh, my God. That's bougie. That's mental. That's not good.

The other end gets real bad condensation. So those heat pumps go onto the dry function overnight to stop the condensation. And then in the morning they get turned on to heat. They don't stay on all day. They get turned off pretty much as soon as the kids are going to school and stuff. And then at night, the minute the sun starts to just be like, I'm behind the tree now. Shana's like, oh, my God, I'm so freezing cold.

I'm like, well, do you want to put on a sweatshirt or some socks or are we happy in shorts? Yeah, so you take the piss out of me, but that's what I was doing. Well, that's just a practical what people do when they get warm. She's like, absolutely not. It'll be 24 on that heat pump and 24 on that heat pump. Then we've got one extreme here in you, Megan, and then one extreme here at the other.

This is very odd, too, because we've switched roles. I'm generally, like, more bougie of the two of us. I'm more frugal. Well, Vaughn left yesterday swarming around with his two heat pumps and how he lives in a tropical climate and giving Megan shit. But then what did you send us in the group chat last night? Got a power bill. Sade said, wow, we just got our power bill.

And I'm not like, wow, we just got our power bill. They've decided to give us free power. Yeah. $500 for a month. Vaughan Smith. I know. I understand. I understand.

I thought you used to be like the heat pump Nazi. Yeah, and the dryer Nazi. Yeah, but I'm not like, when I get home, from now on it gets turned off. I said everything gets turned off. The minute the kids have gone to school, it gets turned off. But it's cold. Put some socks on, woman. She's in tears.

Yeah, I mean, at least put some socks on. Is she rocking around in a T-shirt or something? Oh, sometimes. Oh, my on. Is she rocking around in a T-shirt or something? Sometimes. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. The other day I came in and the doors were all open and the heat pumps were on. And you know what I said? We're not heating the whole bloody neighbourhood.

I knew I was going to say it too because I stopped and I saw the thing open and I said, did a little dad stretch. I was like, here comes a dad delivery. And I was like, the doors are open and the heat pumps are on. We're not warming the whole bloody neighbourhood. And I was just like, I'm proud. I'm pretty pleased with how that sounded. I gave myself a little afterwards dad review.

But do you know that it's solely the heat pump? Because how often is the dryer being? The dryer is used. Yeah, the dryer gets used. See, I refuse to even buy a dryer now. But that was what I didn't want to dry for all these years. Oh, what's happening to me? And then everyone's like, you're turning into your mum.

Who posted that? I'm just trying to find it. I don't know if it was in our insider, our podcast family, but that note that someone had stuck to their heat pump. And it's like a flow diagram. It's like, are you cold? Yes. And then it's like underneath it, are you wearing socks?

And then it flows on to, you know, are you wearing a jersey on? And then if so, then you can turn the heat pump on. If all of those things are ticked. I need the flow chart. Somebody said their power, someone just messaged in saying,

oh, I was expecting worse. The house is $800 a month. What are you doing? And somebody said, that's a normal month in the South Island, 500 bucks. No. But then also,

what are you going to be colder in the South Island than it is in the North Island? We live in Auckland. Yeah. It's not been, it's been chilly, but not enough that. Not $500 a month cold.

No, no. There needs to be some rules, I think. Especially during the day. Put on a puffer jacket. Yeah. In the house. In some socks.

Somebody said, what about the new electric fence? But the electric fence was on last month's power bill and it was a. It was fine. Shy in comparison. Yeah.

Yeah, right. What about actually power tools suck energy? I beg Shy in comparison. Yeah. Yeah, right. What about actually power tools suck energy? I beg your pardon. Well, they run it... I mean, I have to charge the batteries, but that's...

No, no. Do you have the daily graph? Can you log in on your app? That's what scares me because I see the graph and I'm like, no. I've got the daily graph. I haven't seen the graph.

I get a daily graph. You have to have a smart meter to do that, eh? Yeah. We don't have a smart meter. Oh, right, okay. That's a bit of a dum-dum. See, that's probably a good thing you don't,

because then you could log on and literally say to your wife, you could say, look at this graph. Last night I got on her phone and I set a new alarm. I'm just showing Vaughan my monthly average. Is that $76? It's your monthly power bill. Thank you. You're living like a pensioner woman.

For Christ's sake, turn on a heater. You're not on the pension. Mine's like 65 cents. Yeah, but you're alone in an apartment. Yeah. There's two of us. In a giant house too. 70 bucks.

I know, I'm an eco-warrior. Good on me. Thanks, guys. I'm freezing and I've got like a cough at the moment. You're always sick. Don't you know what? I'm not doing another $500 Powerball. Can we just get a nuclear power plant?

I mean, what could go wrong? I'll wave it all. I actually got Sade's phone last night and went in and set a new alarm that we repeated daily at quarter past nine. Turn off all the heat pumps. How do you think that's going to go? Oh, horribly. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast.

It's Wednesday today. I've forgotten to tell you guys about this, but I remembered just before the show. Okay. I think I saw something about a plane, and I was like, that's right. So on my flight on Sunday, coming back from Christchurch to Auckland, I snooped on a fellow passenger.

I love doing this, though. This is good stuff. Same. Someone's working on something. Same. I get such sore side eye, because I'm like, ooh, deep into the peripheral. Grafts.

Or do you ever look at people's phones when they're like, if you're done scrolling through your phone and they're scrolling through theirs, you decide what? Yeah, all the time. Whenever I'm scrolling on a plane, I keep it real close to my chest. Same, same. We shouldn't be scrolling on a plane because phone wouldn't get reception. No, like when we're all sitting down waiting to take off and landing and that.

Because what's, like, is that illegal? It's not, eh? Because they're in public. You're in public. They're in public. To snoop on their phone. No, well, yeah. To read...

Morally, it's very fuzzy. If they've got it down on their lap and they're being haphazard about their scrolling, then it's their fault. Okay, well, that's good. Okay. So anyway, so I'm on the aisle and the woman in front of me is on the aisle as well.

And so I can see right through onto her lap and see what's there. She had printed out probably an inch thick of A4 pages of Facebook comments. Oh, okay. So it's good stuff. It's good stuff. It's good stuff. Someone's printed out Facebook comments. Because you don't print.

No. Not juicy Facebook content. Exactly. Who even prints Facebook content? No, no. I know. And she had a green highlighter. No. Not juicy Facebook content. Exactly. Who even prints Facebook content? No, no. I know. And she had a green highlighter. Oh, yeah, she did.

Hang on, I'll get me out. And so I, because I've got pretty good eyesight. You do, actually. So I was like, and I, but I'd still, I had still leaned forward. And she was. You're leaning forward. I'm still leaning forward. Yeah.

You're just practising adopting the brace position as she turns around. No, I was just like leaning on my, kind of across my legs and I leant over on the armrest. And there was a bit where the drinks trolley came

so I lost like 10 minutes of sleep. But for most of the flight she was doing this and she was highlighting comments that, and in my head I was like,

okay, what's going on here? Yeah, okay. And I took a guess and I think my guess was right. It was an a guess and I think my guess was right. It was an educated guess. My guess was that she was a lawyer or involved somewhat in a family dispute. Okay, what clues lead to this?

A custody case. Yeah. Well, the comments were made about exes and children and stuff. And there was one comment she like highlighted heaps and then asterisked, which was like to a Facebook page where someone had said like, how do you guys handle your exes, jealousy with your exes? I just want to punch them in the face.

And I was like, oh, shit is going down. For drinking the tea? That's a juicy one. That's a juicy one. I'm spilling the free tea all over the seat. I'm like, this is great. And then, and so I'm like, this has got to be like a... Pilots prepare the cabin for

landing. You're like, no! Loop around! I'm still reading. And so I'm like, this is full on. And then she picks up the book underneath. She highlighted all these comments. It was a legal book about family law or something like that. And I was like, I'm right.

This is all going down. Oh, that's juicy. There were comments back to 2014 that this person had been making about like their ex and stuff. And I was like, this is all going to be used to get. You haven't got a date. Great work from you. I know.

I got it. You should have. Scoot over. Scoot over. We need to establish a motive. We need to see dates. I need a timeline. We're going to need a pin board.

Bing bong. Hi, would you like another drink, sir? I'd actually like a pin board and some red string. And some post-it notes. And then, like, I also got the person's name and Facebook stalked them as well. But I couldn't work out, like, where they were. I don't even think they were from New Zealand.

Right. Wow. Wait, so you saw the person that was making them. It was getting the highlighted things. You got they were. I don't even think they were from New Zealand. Right. Wow. Wait, so you saw the person that was making, that was getting the highlighted things. You got the name, profile pic. I got their name. You then stalked them off. Great work from you.

I was just like, oh, this is juicy. And then the flight ended. She left. She was off the plane quick, probably to do legal things. If you were sitting like directly beside, would you have like sparked up a combo? Probably not. legal things. If you were sitting directly beside, would you have like sparked up a combo? Probably not. Probably not.

And here's another time I've snooped. There was an all black, I'm not going to name them, sitting next to me on the plane. And they opened up their Instagram DMs. Wait. Do you just want to know I'm going to pour myself a little tea? Pour myself a little. Megan's pouring herself a little tea. Are you ready to start? Hit me with some tea. Hit me a little tea. Are you ready to start?

Hit me with some tea. No, I'm not. Their inbox was full of female DMs that were unopened. Oh, unopened. Unopened. Some were opened. Well, they hadn't got to them yet. Well, I didn't get that far.

I was literally right next door to them. So I was doing that side-eye thing while I was pretending to watch my Netflix show and I was just like, oh my god. I think your side-eye is so good too. It's fair to say if you're a good-looking all-black, you are going to get some DMs. That's all I'll say.

A lot of replies though. If someone's going to take the time to send you some nerds, you've got to reply and thank them. Especially if they've seen it. You can't leave them unseen. You've got to leave them unseen. So I thought this morning, I'm not the only one that does this right, that snoops next to a fellow passenger or snoops over someone's shoulder.

Maybe you've been at a cafe and you've seen one. I want to take some calls. What have you snooped over someone's shoulder and seen? Whether it's a plane, a cafe, a bus, a train. Because people do their work. Wasn't there recently something last year, some insider trading? Because someone was on the train next to someone

making all these business deals. And then they went back to the office and they said, oh, this company is going to be sold. And they bought heaps of shares. Oh, because they knew prices were going to go up. Because they knew it was going to happen. It was a massive company. I haven't known, in London or England or something.

Oh, wow. But yeah, because people are on a plane or a train, they don't think... That people can see. Yeah, they just think people are just too busy watching their Netflix or something. I'm always watching. I'm always watching what you're doing beside me.

In Ternania, you've seen something on a plane. You were snooping. What were you snooping on? So I was on a domestic flight, Auckland to Nelson. So you're basically like sitting on top of each other, spooning, because it's so close. Yeah, it's pretty tight. That's a slight flight, Auckland to Nelson. So you're basically like sitting on top of each other spooning because it's so close. Yeah, it's pretty tight. And that's a slight exaggeration, but okay.

It's pretty tight. And I was sitting next to a priest. Okay. And I was watching Netflix. I don't know if you're familiar with the show You, Me, Her, but there's a lot of scenes happening. Okay. And he was writing his Sunday sermon. It's a very different situation. Yeah, so I was just having a snake. And he was writing his Sunday sermon. It's a very different situation.

Yeah, so I was just having a snake in. And what was he going to say? I was all about like, I have a sermon. Something about God. You've got it. Yes. All the filth that people are watching on planes.

Yeah. How deplorable society is because people feel like it's alright to watch pornographic material on an air service. All right, well, what did you snoop over someone's shoulder? Give us a call. 0800-DARLS-IT-M-9696.

Give us a goss. So we want to know what you've snooped in public. If you've seen any juicy goss, maybe you've been on a plane next to someone. You don't have to know the person. It's just a juicy, I don't know, situation. We'll keep situations and names and companies out of it. Otherwise, Ross Boss would go to prison. Definitely not us.

We're too cute for prison. Oh, we're too cute for prison. He's too tall for prison. They would see him as an Everest to conquer. First one to get on top of him. Who's going to climb that? And plant a flag right in his summit. What a euphemism. He's going to climb that. And plant a flag right in his stomach. What a euthymism.

That's he. There are awards for euthymism. Yeah, and you know the old rule about climbing Everest two at a time. And you've got to take the Sherpa. One of them's a Sherpa. Something like that anyway. So what if you snooped on a plane or in public over someone's shoulder

and spilled it to you? People who've been spied on are messaging in too. For example, I was on a bus and a guy, it turns out, was watching me on Tinder. I didn't realise, but when he got off, he said, I'll see you later and just don't be so savage. Oh, I've actually seen someone on the seat in front of me through the gap swiping on Tinder. And I thought the same. I was like, you do not, you should not be

dismissing a lot of those. I'd be like, I'm offended. Don't be so savage. That basically means like, a lot of those were in your league, sweetheart. Yeah, because I was

thinking the same. I was like, ruthless. Somebody said, I was on a train overseas and the woman in front of me had a Kindle and was reading

Fifty Shades of Grey. Oh, and we've actually got that text message on the phone. Thornton, good morning. Good morning. So you witnessed this woman reading Fifty Shades? Yes, I did.

See, much safer on a Kindle in public because it doesn't have the book front, but I've seen people reading Fifty Shades in public in book form. I was on a plane for about 10 minutes, and I was like, I just can't read this around people. Were you watching her reactions? Yeah, I was sitting behind, looking through the gap in the seats and she was sitting there reading away

and just skim, skim, fastest reader in the world. And then I realised when she got to the points that she was interested in, she took study to them to say. She's like plot. Boring, boring, boring, boring. Here we go. Sometimes I do that when I read. You get into days and you start daydreaming and you're like, I've missed the last page, boring, boring. There we go. Sometimes I do that when I read. You get into days and you start daydreaming

and you're like, I've missed the last page. I'm going to have to go back. So that's what that could... It wasn't. Okay, right. Thanks for trying to help her out, though. Yeah. Sean, you're a flight attendant,

so you've seen quite a bit. Yeah, no, definitely have. I was operating a flight to Sydney about, I don't know, three months ago, and I'm standing in the middle of the cabin helping passengers and whatnot and then this woman sits down and was texting her husband At the top the contact said ice one husband and she was saying hope the girls got to school All right, and then she goes the plane's taking off now Love you, and she's literally just sat down We went leaving for like half an hour and then she jumps to the Facebook Messenger and start messaging a guy

She's gonna hook up with in Sydney. Oh, scandal. So, so, so scandalous. Wow. That's so good. She was saying some raunchy stuff, too, like what she planned on doing to him when she gets there. And she just finished talking about her daughter's to her husband.

That's really sad. Not everybody's got the moral compass that we do, Sean. I know And what are you meant to do when you've just seen that And then you've got to go and serve her a meal Like you can't look her in the eye Horrible lady Do you want chicken or fish, you horrible woman?

I mean You deplorable wife I mean, I mean, oh gosh Hey, thanks for your call, Sean Some messages Some other text messages in I was sitting on a train one day Saw a guy message someone saved in his phone

As wifey So here's the guys that are doing this on trains About the newborn not sleeping well Then flicked to another one And started messaging somebody else About very raunchy stuff Worst part was he saw me looking And just gave me the sleaziest smile about him

Oh really Oh what a POS Someone said I was in an airport waiting for a delayed plane and her husband and wife were sitting opposite each other, quite different ages. Yeah. And she said, I'm going to read my book. And he said, I'm just going to watch my show.

And he was watching porn. In the airport? In the airport, yeah. She said she kind of heard it and turned around and he was like, opened it up in a way. He was watching that. Wow. I heard a conversation between an escort and a potential client in public.

Oh, okay. She described the services she was offering and then began to describe the way she looked and what she was currently wearing. It was highly inaccurate as at the time she was dressed in a tracksuit. That's so good. And was sitting in the middle of the $2 shop. That's so good. And we're sitting in the middle of the $2 shop. That's not sexy.

That's why you've got to lie, don't you? Yeah, she's stretching it up. You're whipping for some womb bands for your kids. You're like, I'm just wearing my undies. I'm in a luxurious hotel. Yeah, just that big. $2? Yeah, okay.

No pay wave. If possible. Sorry, sorry. Yeah, just that big. $2? Yeah, okay. No pay wave. Just always. If possible. Thanks. Sorry, sorry. That was just room service. I bought a $2 drink bottle. Anyway, I'm sexy.

A lot of truck drivers messaging in. They're in a higher position in traffic and they just want everybody to remember that. If you're beside a truck perhaps don't be engaging in car antics with your partner who's in the front seat. They see a lot

of that. And also another truck driver says a week would not go by without them going past somebody watching porn in their car stuck in traffic. Not a week would go by. What the hell? Where's the phone?

Is it in one of those holders? I don't know. Or in their lap? People will be able to see that when they drive past. Well, they obviously can. Yeah. Good Lord. It's very distracting.

Wait till you get home. Yeah. Somebody said a guy got into a lift, a crowded lift. Yeah Good lord It's very distracting Wait till you get home Yeah Somebody said A guy got into a lift A crowded lift And backed into a corner On his phone The mirror

No His headphones weren't Plugged in properly So they could all hear Oh no Oh no It's like You are literally

Leaving your place of work You can't wait Till you get home Like you're on Your way home What have you got planned That means You can't wait to get home. Like you're on your way home. What have you got planned that means you can't take five minutes to do that upon arrival? Fact of the day, day, day, day, day.

Today's Fact of the Day is about house fires. I'm touch wood very thankful to have never been living anywhere that had a serious house fire. Well, you even got some fire extinguishers recently, didn't you? Yep, yep. Doubled the amount of fire smoke alarms. Fire extinguishers. But no, I've never lived. There was always like a family at, not always, but there was a family.

Most people I'd imagine went to school with a family who went through house fire and losing everything must be pretty. Oh, it'd be horrible. Pretty horrendous. But this just came, it just, for some reason, I saw an article about the importance of closing your door. Oh yeah, because of oxygen. When you go to bed, close the door.

Apparently the door is one of the best, this isn't the fact of the day, but this is what led me to the fact of the day. A door is one of the best pieces of firefighting equipment. of the day, but this is what led me to the fact of the day. A door is one of the best pieces of firefighting equipment. It reduces the fire growth and spread, limits damage to your home, saves lives, can stop the smoke coming in and knocking you out before you even wake up to it, et cetera, et cetera. So I was like, that's very interesting.

But here's today's fact of the day. Your house will burn down seven times faster now than it would have 40 years ago. Why? So there's a few contributing factors, mostly synthetic materials. Okay. Modern synthetic materials burn way faster than traditional. Yep.

Like that old heavy wood. Jib board doesn't burn. No, I know, but they used to line the walls with wood, didn't they? Yeah, and it would take longer. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But they're talking more of the carpet, synthetic carpet goes up way quicker than traditional wool.

Oh. Furniture materials. Yeah. The stuffing and stuff, way more synthetic goes up super quick. Yeah. Curtains, et cetera, everything that can spread a fire

and get a fire around. The wood that it's made, furniture made of is a lot lighter than it used to be. Yeah. More of a heavier wood. So basically everything in your home that's now synthetic, cheaper, easier to make, lighter,

also means it's going to burn faster. So you used to have 17 minutes to escape a house fire 40 years ago. 17 minutes you'd still be able to escape a house fire. Modern time, three minutes. Oh. Oh my God. Three minutes to get out of your house. That's crazy.

Isn't it? Huh? I just couldn't believe that it would have changed that much in 40 years for the average house fire. It doesn't need a couple of minutes to get out of it. I mean, I'd have a rocket up my bum if there was a fire. Yeah, you'd have motivation. Yeah. You probably wouldn't snooze.

Nah. I'm just going to snooze and just see what further down my Instagram feed is. Good. And my house is on fire, so just a couple more likes. Yep. There we go. All right. Get out of bed.

Time to get out of the house. Now that three minutes. So would it be completely engulfed in three minutes? Well, they're just saying they've taken a whole lot of things into consideration. It might not be completely engulfed, but the toxic smoke would be more. And apparently more open plan homes, whereas when homes were rooms, like your lounge was a room and your kitchen

had a door through to your kitchen and your dining and it was all segmented, that also slowed fire down. Right, more walls. But open plan now, it just gets going and it spreads through to open plan before it, you know, obviously doesn't have to get to a wall, it can spread to everything else that's in that room to get going. Crazy.

I couldn't believe it. So today's fact of the day is that you, sorry, today's fact of the day is 40 years ago you had 17 minutes to escape a house fire. Modern times, three minutes. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast, ZM. A smiley and similar times when she wore normal clothes in a music video. If you need to watch Mother's Daughter, that's what Fletcher's referring to in your video for that.

Just came out today overnight and wow. I don't know if you should probably watch that at work either. I wouldn't. Or in front of your mum. It's not that bad. Well, depending on your workplace. Her mum's in the video. Yeah, but Tish is a bit diff.

Yeah. She's not your usual mum, is she? She's a cool mum. That up close of the, oh yeah, wow. It's something. It really is. Yeah. Yeah.

Oh my God. This isn close of the, oh, yeah, wow. It's something. It really is. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, my God. This isn't a drill. White Chicks, the movie with the Wayan brothers, right? Yeah. Marlon and Sean Wayans. They play twins who dress up as white women to stop some kidnappers. It's a great plot to a movie. Yeah.

And Terry Crews does that famous scene in the movie to this song. But he was on Andy Cohen's Watch What Happens Live. So this program they get celebs on and people can call in and ask whatever questions they want. And do they filter those questions? Surely.

Surely they have someone. But one of the questions was about a sequel to White Chicks. Katie from Wisconsin. Katie, what's your question for Terry the questions was about a sequel to White Chicks. Katie from Wisconsin. Hey, Katie, what's your question for Terry? Have you heard anything about the White Chicks sequel the Wayans brothers keep talking about? You know what? I actually got with Sean, and he was like,

man, we doing it. We getting it going. Woo! 15 years ago. Wow. You have to understand, as of this month, 15 years, I'm staying in shape just for that movie. I've been working on it for 15 years,

so we can do White Chicks 2, y'all. Please. Let's go. 15 years? Yeah. 15 years ago that movie came out. Wow. But it sounds like they're actually discussing

actually having a sequel. Would a movie like that fly now? I don't know. It's on the nose, isn't it? Now, I think they're going to need an iconic song. So, he said that he thinks the modern day A Thousand Miles would be Carly Rae Jepsen, Call Me Maybe. Nah, do you reckon? Nah, it's not.

Do you reckon? Oh, that's what he said. I don't know. What year did Call Me Maybe come out? Wasn't that like two shows? I mean, there should be something more recent, right? Nah, I think you've got to go something. That was 2012, so that's a seven-year-old song.

Nah, you've got to go something a bit older, I reckon. Yeah. Now, I've managed to go into our audio archives. A while back, we got to interview Terry Crews. We spoke to Terry. Was it about Brooklyn? Brooklyn Nine-Nine. Brooklyn Nine-Nine.

We did an interview a while back. And, I mean, we had to bring it up. We had to bring up that song in White Chicks, because it is. It's iconic, that scene of him singing A Thousand Miles. Terry, if I played A Thousand Miles by Vanessa Carlton, would you do me the honour of a duet? Are you ready? Yeah, I've got the music.

You'll hear it down the front, okay? Okay, here we go. I'm with you. Oh, God, yes. This is somewhat of a dream come true. This is addressed to Colab. Making my way downtown. Walking fast. Faces passing, I'm homebound

Staring blankly ahead Just making my way Making my way Through the crowd And I miss you And I miss you. And I miss you. And now I wonder if I could fly into the sky. Do you think time would pass me by?

Oh, we might. Okay, there's a bit of a fun part. A hundred miles I could just see you And I Terry. Terry Crews, that is a dream. I kind of love the music.

It's lambing, it's carving, it's kidding. I thought that happened in spring. No, it's kind of a, well, I mean, it's early days. It's early in it that happened in spring No it's kind of a Well I mean it's early days It's early in it But farmers around the country Are preparing themselves For the silly season Not Christmas

Do you remember that time We went to your dad's farm And he pulled that cow Out of another cow With a rope I honestly thought I was going to pass out I had to lean over the fence

I was either going to Vomit or pass out His favourite thing is When he asked about How a cow gets birth And someone turns up Who's not used to it over the fence. I was either going to vomel or pass out. His favourite thing is when he has to help a cow get birth. And someone turns up who's not used to it. I had to join Christine

in the house for a cuppa and a biscuit. It was a bit much for you. It was a bit hard on the farm. Someone needs to catch it though. It just like hit the ground. That's life though Megan.

That's life on the farm. I'm literally seeing it in my head right now. So we've got a couple of sheep. We've talked about them before on the show. They are morbidly obese. Gosh, I hope they didn't hear that. And I'll put them on a diet.

They'll be break fenced. They only just get a little bit of paddock at a time. Like a little bit of cake at a time. They just blew my mind. Blew my mind. Because otherwise they get too fat. Blew my mind that eating too much grass can make you morbidly obese as a sheep. But who knew?

What happens if they eat all the grass by like Wednesday? They've just got to slow down. They've got enough fat stores to last. Yeah, they'll be right. I actually drew to move the fence. Okay. So they'll be very excited to get some new grass. Right.

But my auntie and uncle own a sheep and beef farm. Yeah. And so they're very busy now with the lambing. Okay. And my daughter, Indy, loves animals. She wants to be a vet when she grows up. So I'm getting regular updates from my auntie of the, she runs a lamb orphanage every year.

The mothers don't necessarily die, but if they're terrible mothers, the sheep, and they don't want to feed the lambs, she takes them in and bottle feeds them. Okay. And she's got an orphanage running at the moment. She keeps me updated. Last count, I think there was 15 lambs in the lamb orphanage.

Oh, okay. Which is in a horse stable with a heat lamp. So they stay nice and warm. That's nice. It's warmer than my house. They're not afraid to spend a bit of power heating themselves, Megan. Yeah, wow. So, I'm being kept up to date with that, but it's got the girls very excited for the possibility

that Heather and Hannah are our two sheep. Well, before we got them, they spent like months in the paddock with a ram, the male sheep. But you don't know they're pregnant. Well, because they're too fat. So your sheep could be pregnant. You don't want to ask them if they're pregnant

because they could just be fat. Like that's our sheep. But when the vet came and told you they were morbidly obese, wouldn't she have done an ultrasound? Like got them to weigh on a stick? No. I don't know if that works. What a home pregnancy.

I'm going to Google. Oh my God, it's definitely been Googled. A home pregnancy work on. You have to specifically put sheep. Work on sheep. They're not like super friendly, so I couldn't just like pat them until they needed to wee. I'd need to like hold them until they weed. Oh, you've got to get bovine or special ones, by the way.

You can get ones. Yeah. That's interesting. But how do you make them wee? Just give them. Just have to wait on this. Give them an electrolyte. It's a powerade.

Yeah. No, they're already fat. They don't need that extra sugar. Yeah, right. So every day when the girls get, before they go to school, they would have gone out and checked this morning. Yeah. And then every day they go out and check when they get home

to see if there's any lambs. Oh, that's pretty cute. I'm worried that we're going to get to the end of the lambing season and they were just fat all along. And then I'm going to need to acquire some lambs from somewhere because there will be genuine heartbreak if we don't have lambs. But could you just go get a couple of lambs from your auntie and then, like, do it overnight and sneak them in

or maybe just put a bit of placenta on them or whatever. Mix up some icing. No, it'll be on Shutter Street when there's a baby. They'll be like, she just gave birth. It's the size of a six-month-old. It's clean. And why have you squirted tomato sauce all over the sheep, Dad? They'll be like, what's that?

It's barbecue sauce. And then they'll get really angry at me because they think I was pre-marinating the lambs before it was even time. But that could be a good option because would they believe that? Mate, they'll believe anything. But seriously, is there potential for your sheep to be pregnant? Yeah, very heavily, Megan. They were in a paddock with a ram.

Like, the ram's job is just he just goes in and all he does is sex all day. Is that how he got his name? Ramming. Maybe. I don't know where the name ram comes from. Right. They would ram into each other with their horns. You're going to feel so bad if they give birth.

Because you've been calling them morbidly obese and fat the whole time. No, no, no. They are fat as well. Oh, right, no. They are fat as well. Oh, right. Okay. They are fat, but they might be pregnant, but they're also very fat. I actually think they look like they've lost a bit of weight. Right.

Okay. Shade just said, I'm just hoping that's the truth. You should definitely tell them. Do you reckon I should tell them? Yeah. You know what? Get a tape measure. Actually, would a tape measure go around them, though?

No. Not one of those Taylor's tape measures. You might have to get two and do them. Get some calipers. Or they would be so insulted if I did the fat test. But maybe you do need to measure them around and then just see how their weight loss is going. Their wool grows.

Or shave a ring around them. You can shave a ring. So you can tape measure. I'm a farmer. I come from a long line of proud farmers. I wonder if they could all see me now what they'd think.