ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Megan Podcast - July 03rd 2018

Episode Date: July 3, 2018

Vaughan has an apology for someone in the show, Community Notices and how soon did you get a partners name tattooed on you?See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is the Fletch, Vaughan and Megan podcast, thanks to Spark. You can stay connected with free Wi-Fi a gig a day on the $19 Spark prepaid rollover pack. Enjoy. Thanks, Anya. Good morning. Welcome to the show, Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. I hate when a shark nibbles on your vessel. Yeah. Bugger off. Can't you see I'm doing something?

Why do they always land a New Plummouth when they because it's a sticky outfit it's shorter isn't it oh god I'd turn around and go back land in New Plummouth Vaughn I won't have you say bad things

about my hometown god where's that guy got no teeth let's go back oh come on row your boat oh no one listens there

it's fine like your mum does but she's away. She's away, yeah. Speaking of which, we're an update? I don't know, actually. Bev's blog? Of the blog.

I have to have a look. We've got to keep tabs, make sure she's okay. She's fine. I talked to her at the weekend. Oh, you sent her a WhatsApp? Are you sending her a WhatsApp? Yeah, no, she's on WhatsApp. She's Viber WhatsApp.

She's all over all of them. Oh, she's all over all of them. She is. Good girl. Did you see the map of that guy's row? No, I haven't, but he'd go round and round and yeah, they do that. He did a loop at one stage, headed back to Australia. He falls asleep.

Because he had a storm. It was a storm. God, you'd be pissed. They showed him on the news last night. I was like, he's just moving so slowly. I was like, I couldn't handle it. I'd just be like, what have I done? But you get to a point where it's like, well, it's just as far to go back as it is to go that way.

Some ones will go that way. Just give up and see where the tide takes you. They're going to track on you. What's the worst that's going to happen? Someone's going to come get you. Alright, you lot. Listen up. It's story time. Three news headlines. Vaughan and Megan, you must pick one of the following.

Headline one, ban for life. Headline two, police say suspect in beheading case could be heading anywhere. Headline three, ecstasy tablet shaped like Donald Trump seized. Those are the headlines. Okay. That's the ecstasy tablets. Fairly straightforward. Someone's making Ekkies and they've been stamped in the form of Donald Trump's face.

Although that's quite detailed for a stats artist. Wow. They actually do really, they are quite detailed. Megan, no Googling. Good Lord. Cranking the rules, but can you show me a photo? Yeah, they are orange too, which is funny. Oh yeah, that just looks like a biscuit.

Yeah, like a little cookie. Like one of those animal cookies without the icing. Yeah, stacked with Donald Trump. Okay. Well, you wouldn't want to eat as many of those as a pack of animal biscuits? No. It'd get you. It would.

It'd get you. So one or two? One was... The band for life? Yeah. And the other one's beheading. Could be beheading. Could be beheading anywhere.

Yeah, one, I think. I don't know. I don't want to hear about beheading. Okay. All right. We go now to Italy, where British pupils, sorry, from Wales. That's British. You say British, eh? Great Britain includes Wales. Great, from Wales. That's British. You say British, eh?

Great Britain includes Wales. Great Britain includes Wales. So British school kids from a school there were staying in a town. They had, for some reason, a toy with a parachute, and it got stuck out the window. So they threw it out the window of where they were staying, and it floated down and got stuck out the window. So they threw it out the window of where they were staying. Yeah. And it floated down and got stuck. Yeah.

So they were like, well, we've got to get this back, this toy parachute. So one of the kids climbed on top of the other's shoulders. They initially tried out the window, but it gave way what they were hanging on to, what they were trying to pull themselves up on. Yeah. And what gave way was a 16th century Madonna and Child monument. Madonna is the Virgin Mary. Not the performing artist.

16th century, 1980s. Like a prayer. Yeah. Right. Madonna, different Madonna. And like the cone bra. So anyway, it came, it was like an ornament underneath a window from like the first or second story.

It doesn't look like a typical monument. It's kind of, that's what it looked like. But it's just very old. More of a, it just looks like a, how would you describe that? A bracket? Yeah, and just like a, it looks like an ornamental picture frame or something. Not a statue and such. Right.

Anyway, the whole thing came crashing down. How old were these kids? A couple of, it was by the sounds of 15, 16. Because, crikey, I used to have a Batman toy with a parachute in the back. Man, it was fun. Parachute toys are the greatest fun. Most of it, because you've got to work out new and exciting ways to get them airborne. So there's climbing on the roof and chuck them off.

But then you work out if you can get some like elastics. Like we used to have elastics. Remember elastics? Yeah. You put them around a cheerleague and you go, two, four, six, eight, out the garden gate or something. And you could get a little bit of propulsion. So if you put those around the swing set and took the swings off,

that A-frame swing set, you could get an up over the house. I remember when I was a little, little kid, before they banned sky rockets at Guy Fawkes, they had some that ejected a parachute man, like a little army figure with a parachute.

But sometimes that would catch on fire. The army man was made of plastic and he'd catch fire. And if you've ever heard dripping fire on plastic it goes Yeah. Set fire to

fields. That was a really bad one for setting fire to dry. Yeah. Into dry grass areas. So they got banned. Wow. But yeah,

parachute toys rule. But yeah, now people are calling for the kids to be banned from Italy for the rest of their life. A lifetime ban. It's Italy.

It's full of other 16th century stuff. Oh, it's got so much stuff. I know. Just old and shit. Whack another one up. None will ever know. Repair it. So the school may have to pay for the damages.

I don't know how much a 16th century Madonna thing costs. That's a good thing about New Zealand. You're not going to wreck anything too old. Maybe like 150, 200 years tops. Yeah. Everything else from before that is sort of underground anyway. It's fine, yeah.

Yeah. F.M. Fuel has become more expensive. The Auckland regional fuel tax kicked in and so every petrol station has become slightly more expensive to have fuel at. Although there are a few that don't have it. In Auckland, outside of Auckland,

everyone's like, good, it's about time. Yeah, but I mean, they'll probably be sneaking up anyway. But there are, I found a list yesterday of some places in Auckland that still haven't put the tax on. Oh yeah, because we talked, you said about that app, didn't we?

GasPi. GasPi, yeah. You can still do that and it updates it, so you might be able to find one near you that still hasn't put it up. But also people were warned when fuel prices are going up about the dangers of using non-regulated fuel storage containers to stockpile fuel. I'm talking old milk bottles, ice cream containers,

anything basically. A steamer? Yeah. One of those soup jugs? They're so handy. They are handy, but they're no good for fueling. I know.

Because people have been seen filling up. Five Bolognese jars? Five Brothers? Is that what that passes through? Yeah, Five Brothers. Five Brothers what that passes through? Five Brothers. Five Brothers is better than Dolmio because Five Brothers comes to a smaller at the top. Yeah, but at least they're glass.

Yeah, they are glass. At least glass is better than flimsy plastic. I don't know about the lid, though. That could be a weak point. It's not recommended at all. People have been seen at service stations over the weekend and last week filling up containers. But what's...

You're laughing. What's wrong with that? When I worked at a petrol station, you had to run out and stop these people because it's non... Like, the red plastic fuel containers that you're all picturing in your mind now with the yellow lids that all I had to do was say the colours and you knew exactly what I was talking about. They're, like like made of a plastic

especially to store fuel. Like it can't be even away. And those old metal jerry cans, you know, the metal and everything. But yeah, you put it in an ice cream container or a milk bottle and it affects the plastic. And it eventually just turns it into sort of really weakened

jelly and it's not good at all. I didn't know that. And the lids aren't good either. I thought you just meant like if you get like a spark on it, it'll blow up. Oh, that too. No, that too. You're effectively storing bombs at your house. Yeah, but I was like, just be careful and you'll be fine. I didn't know that the plastic would eat away.

A couple of dollars. Oh, it's crazy. At PetroStash, this isn't new. Even like when I worked one right at the end of the 1990s, last millennium. Wow, when Britney Spears was big.

Yeah. Vaughn was in a shell uniform. I was. Well, Shania Twain was the one that was on the radio all the time at the server. We didn't have to listen

to easy listening. Right, okay. Because you don't want to offend anybody when they're in the court. Yeah. And Shania Twain was big.

And it happened all the time then. I'm struggling to see you running out to care. I was just out there because I wasn't allowed to work in the shop, as previously mentioned. I never learned to work the till and I didn't know what pack of ciggies was what pack of ciggies. So I'd be like, oh, Paul Morgue

25 and I'd turn around and I'd be like, I don't know, which one's that? Because the way we had them stored, you had to like scan through them all

and there used to be so much choice. Right. I don't know, cigarettes, if there's more choice or less choice than there used to be

but God, it used to take me ages to find the Pormals and then I'd grab them and they're like, no, Pormal blue. You'd be like,

oh, what's the difference? You're going to, you're slowly killing yourself anyway. I couldn't give a crap what colour's doing it. But alright, so I had to work

on the forecourt. But the nuts, the most nuts thing I ever saw anybody try to fill on the forecourt was a zip slide bag. Oh, see, I know.

Really? With petrol. Yeah, one of those big ones. What would you store in there? Felts? We've got one at home and it's full of felts. Yeah.

What did they run out of fuel? And they were like, all I've got is my sandwiches. So I'll just eat the sandwiches. No, they wanted to take it home for, I don't know, some petrol powered thing, like a lawnmower or a chainsaw. Oh, my God. Yeah, and all they had was that. I said, you should have just chucked, because they had a van.

I said, you should have just chucked the lawnmower in. That hadn't even crossed them on to bring the lawnmower to the petrol station rather than fill up a flimsy plastic bag. Oh, my God. Yeah, because I saw them, they filled their car, and then they turned around and put the nozzle in the bag. I was like, what are you doing? Oh, I'm going to take some home to mow the lawns.

I was like, no, you can't do that. Like, it'll spill everywhere. Bloody madness. The Top Six with Vaughan Smith. An eight-year-old from Belgium, after two months off, will be off to university. This eight-year-old just finished high school.

It took six months, Off to university. This eight-year-old just finished high school. It took six months or eight months to do six years of learning. Jeez. That's how advanced and how quickly he turned through this. You know his parents are telling anyone that will listen, oh, he's so advanced. So advanced. He's starting university. Yeah, but can't I as though?

They probably don't even need to say it. Probably not, no. Like, it speaks for itself. Yeah, but kind of is, though. They probably don't even need to say it. Probably not, no. Like, speaks for itself. Yeah, doesn't it? Lauren, I believe, Lauren Simmons from Belgium, at the age of eight, will be off to university. Just taking a couple of months off just to relax and be a kid. Lollipops.

IQ of 145, apparently. Has considered careers already in surgery, maybe being an astronaut. Said probably going to computers at this stage though. Enjoys maths. Oh, so vast. There's statistics,

geometry, algebra. Loves it all. God. Apparently dad said, look, I don't mind what he ends up being as long as he's happy. Could be a carpenter tomorrow. Wouldn't be a problem at all. It would change the world of carpentry. God. Apparently, Dad said, look, I don't mind what he ends up being. As long as he's happy.

Could be a carpenter tomorrow. Would never be a problem at all. Would change the world of carpentry. That's just the sort of kid he is. Oh, that's nice. That's pretty cool. And then they lead on to another kid, a 14-year-old in Australia, who's got an IQ of 168. Yeah.

And to put that into context, Stephen Hawking was 160. Wow. Nine months old, this Hawking was 160. Wow. Nine months old, this kid could have a proper conversation. And now this kid's, yeah, 14 fully. But has he finished uni already? No. He's just cruising. He's got lazy like most of us got to uni and we're just like, you know, see what happens.

Taste alcohol and it's all downhill. Yeah. Well, it shouldn't be, but it might be. So the top six things an eight-year-old genius can't do at university. Sure, they can attend university, but there's things they can't do there. Number six, reach the swipe card ready to get into any lecture halls or libraries. It's quite sad when you think about it. Just wait for somebody else to come in.

You've got to have something over them. Come on, champ. Come on, little buddy. Here, I'll lift you up. Because sometimes your kids really want to swipe the thing, so you've just got to lift them up so they can swipe it. Degrading, but at the same time, you're eight. Number five on the list of the top six things

an eight-year-old genius can't do at university. Put their name on the power bill when they move into the flat. No one at Mercury Energy's call centre is going to believe that an eight-year-old needs a new connection for a flat. No. They're not trusting her. But then also that's good for the eight-year-old because then if it all goes bad

and someone's not paying their fair share, it's not their credit rating that's going to be affected, is it? Well, they're eight, yeah. Yeah. Number four on the list of the top six things an eight-year-old genius can't do at university, attend a cracking Chinese BYO

with a $15 cask of red wine that I don't really like the taste of. But it was cheap. And then argue about corkage fee on something that technically doesn't have a cork. Oh, that shits me because now you can unscrew a wine bottle. Yeah. They're not having to do anything. So that's where corkage comes

from, right? You'd take it in the cork and undo it for you and pop it and it was their way of kind of recouping some. But now they can do nothing. But you're still allowed to drink copious amounts of your own liquor. Yeah. Alcohol at the BYO. So that's pulled in a little bit though.

Six bucks a bottle is that. Oh yeah, some are ridiculous. Well some places do cake-age don't they? If you take a cake. If you take a cake you get a slice of cake. Yeah. Oh I can kind of understand that because you've created a whole lot of extra dishes true number three

on the list of the top six things an eight year old genius can't do at university sign up to be part of medical experiments that you need to be 18 to partake in

short term boo because that's good money long term that's good because those drugs will render you infertile by the time you're 23

yeah number two on the list of the top six things an eight-year-old genius can't do at university, buy an absolute wreck piece of SHIT car for $800 with course-related costs. Yeah. And have it break down and then it ends up costing you more than what you paid for it to have it fixed. And then you just leave it on the side of the road and hope the council will tow it away.

Or someone will set it on the side of the road and hope the council will tow it away. Or someone will set it on fire or steal it. Yeah. Because you've got to insure it under mum and dad's umbrella policy.

Thanks mum and dad. But an eight year old wouldn't be able to do that. No. And the number one thing an eight year old genius can't do

at university even though they can go to university a keg stand. They lack the upper body strength to be able to hold themselves

upside down on a keg while someone Unless he's also a child gymnast. Maybe! Gymnast. Does Belgium ever good? I don't know. Run of European, my always went mainland European will surprise you with their gymnast. Will they?

Yeah, you're always quite less surprised in the ribbon section, aren't you? Yes. Ribbon and ball, very agile. That's today's top six. FEM. ZM. China has invented something.

Sorry, what? What? Jaina. Thank you. Jaina has invented something that, following up other news out of China with technology-wise this year, that facial recognition software that can just ping you anywhere. Oh, yeah, the real big brother over there. Yeah, super big brother.

They've invented, effectively, a laser gun. A laser assault rifle, like an AK-47, but laser. So what does that do to you? Just rip your arms off? It can burn through clothes in a split second. The pain will be beyond endurance. Yeah. Meaning that you're not going to be able to like,

the pain will be so much it'll be crippling. And is it like a light? Like, can you see it? Is it like a red, like a sci-fi laser? Or is it invisible? Because that would be scary. From what I can read and learn about it at this stage, it's not like a red Star Wars laser.

Okay, right. It's going to be like, pew, pew, pew, pew, pew. Yeah. And it's just going to be like an incapacitating laser. Oh. That burns you. Yeah. So it'll just burn you.

It won't burn through your flesh. It could leave a permanent scar, like a little peep, and you'll be like, ah. And they're like, alright, give up. Or you're going to get the full force. Right. And then if they held it, it can shoot more, and it could leave a permanent scar, or it could, and it can

ignite things. Which, that's the thing I find most dangerous. You know, like gas bottles and petrol tanks and the like. So it's got a rechargeable battery that clips into it, and they reckon you get 1,000 shots per battery, as long as each shot doesn't last longer than two seconds. Right.

Can you imagine indescribable burning sensation for two seconds? Be like, one, two. Oh, no. Just like, awful. Going into you. Yeah, when you burn your hand, it's like. And I'm sure it's quite hot. Unbearable, it must be.

Yeah, well, that's the idea is it makes you kind of give up. It's like crowd control rather than being deadly from one shot like a gun. Right. And there's a photo of what it will look like. It's got like a, and rather than having a, what do you call it? A barrel. Yeah. On the end of the gun, it's like a magnifying glass.

It's like lenses that can auto-focus to different distances. Because, of course, you have to focus the laser rather than have it have a wide shot. I wonder if you could wear tinfoil or one of those. Or a mirror. A mirror. Yes. Mirror Man is going to be the greatest fool in China's ever known. Except that then they just get out the old guns and just shoot him through his mirrors.

And he was like, my plan was flawed. Yeah, true. So if you were like moving fast though, do they have to focus on you before they can shoot you? Imagine if they can shoot a laser, they've got pretty nifty quick focus. Like my camera, my phone can focus on a person running away. So I think the lens on the end of a laser gun will be able to do it too, you know? True. It's pretty scary.

Yeah. 800 metres too is its range at this stage. Wow. Can they just put a sound effect on it just so it does go pew? Yeah, I feel like it does. They probably have to. Pew, pew. Because what was your, if you played like toy guns at school as a kid or whatever.

But it depends what I got. Have I got a big stick like a rifle? Because then that'd be pew. But if it was little, it'd be like pew. Oh, you had a silencer. I like the silencer. Oh, right. What about,

because sometimes I had a machine gun a bit. You sound like Fran Drescher laughing. Drags Project on ZM, Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan's Community Notices. Hello and welcome to Community Notices. A segment of the show where we see what's happening around this crazy country of ours according to local Facebook pages. Got a real doozy to share with you at the end.

If you're a member of the Pahutukawa Coast community page, you'll be aware of it. Oh, it's going down on the coast. Oh, it's going down. Let's start, though, in Hornswell. This is the Hornswell Community Group. Now, is this producer James's hood? Is that correct? This is my home suburb.

It's been in community notices a few times. Yeah, it's a bit of a hot bed. Hot bed, yeah, you could say that. Of interesting community of every place. How would you describe the populace of Hallswell? How would I describe it? Quite?

Not primarily? Christchurch. No, it was a fair shake of the old. No, I mean, if you look at it in the big scheme of things, it probably is quite light. Is it white enough that you say it white? I always find that's when people in the neighbourhood say white. I don't know.

No, I don't think it would say white. It's got a bit of guts to it. Are people sane? Are they normal? Yeah. Because you're from there, you people sane? Are they normal? Yeah. Because you're from there, you're quite sane. As normal as anywhere. Yeah, I mean, it's always judged off me what you think Hallswell might be like,

if that makes it any better or worse. You're sort of your average middle-of-the-road Hallswell resident. I don't know, actually. Well, you're a good bloke. He's a good bloke. As you know, it's a great place. Good suburb. Good suburb.

Visit sometime. Top community. Well, Dan writes on the Hallswell Community Group, is anyone free tomorrow who wants to make 20 buck? I'm house sitting for my mum and her dog tends to poop and I don't do poop. Scared of poop. I'll give you $20 to pick up the poop.

Will you be my poop hero? Will you be a positive story about picking up poop in the Hallswell Community page? Please get in touch if you pick up poop. Save his road and the dog accepts p in touch if you pick up poop. Sabies Road and the dog accepts pats while you tend to said poop. 20 bucks.

I have to do that. Easy. I have to pick up the dog's poop for nothing. Just because I don't want to run over it with the lawnmower because if you run over it it just goes

and it always ends up on your face. Oh, yeah. I hit one with a weed eater once and it like landed beside my mouth. Oh. And I had to immediately stop and go in, because, you know, when something's beside your mouth,

you just end up, like... Yeah. Licking it. Yeah. You know what I'm saying. So I had to stop, put the weed eater down, and go inside and deal with it. And then even then, because you can still smell that. Oh, man, nothing stinks with it.

So I get you, Dan. I'm picking up what you're putting down. But I'm not picking up what your dog's putting down. But someone will for $20. Let's go to Cambridge Buy, Sell and Swipe New Zealand, where if you've got $15, maybe from picking up the dog turd for $20, travel to another part of the country and spend,

you have $5 left over, and you can get pictures of someone's feet. Because someone is selling their feet pictures for $15. People would buy those. I'm selling my feet pictures. I need to make a living while I'm on holiday. While I'm on holiday, leave at work. PM interested serious inquiries

only. And somebody commented on it saying this is a post for serious buyers only. Okay. Meaning that maybe, I don't know, maybe they are in... Is there a tease of the foot? Or you don't want to give it away though, do you? Because then you've given them a free picture. I'd give it away for nothing.

I mean, you could have clicked on the person's Facebook profile and got some information as to whether or not they are kind of... Right. See, I don't find feet. No, neither. Attractive. But we've talked about this. You remember old producer James got hit up...

Yeah, he did. ...for pictures of his feet. And people do. People love it. The foot fetish folk. But 15 bucks, that seems low end. Yeah. Because that's the thing about fetishes.

People pay top money for fetishes, don't they? Well, you must have pretty manky average feet if you're asking 15. 15, yeah. Because I would have thought, you know, a high end foot. Whack a bit of nail polish on there. Get a pedi. Yeah.

Get one of those grinder things and grind the hard bits off the bottom of your feet. Oh, yeah. Got one of those? The spinny thing? Yeah. The diamond wheels? The diamond wheels. Are they diamond wheels?

Yeah, apparently. Is it actual diamonds? No. Well, I don't think so. I doubt it. No. They're like, do it after a bath when your feet are nice and soft. But you get it on there when they're dry and hardy.

Good crack. Good times. Right, let's have some bloody goss. No names. From the Pahutukawa Coast Grapevine. No names. No names. We're just going to...

Okay, what can we give them their names? Because there is quite a few that we've got to keep up with. Well, you'll just have to make some up Okay Sarah posts on the Pohutukawa Coast group homepage Well, well, well They're right If anybody knows

Sue Wait, who was the first person's name? Sarah If anyone knows Sue who goes to Insert Fitness Class here She's been away with my husband for the weekend name, Sarah. If anyone knows Sue who goes to insert fitness class here, she's been away with my husband for the weekend. Tell her I paid for the

now there was a spelling mistake. I thought it was like a drink, but it's not. She misspelled Viagra. Remember how I told you that there was a I asked you what this drink was and I thought it was like agave. You know that tequila you smoke? Yeah, agave.

Agave, but it wasn't. It was a misspelling of Viagra. Oh, wow. Okay. And their husband has been away for the weekend with this woman he's met in the fitness class. And he's taken his prescription of Viagra. Of course he has. He's gone away for the weekend.

And she's tracked them down and she knows that they're cheating. Scandal. And apparently this woman that her husband has been away with also has a family of her own. Oh no. Two families now affected. And she says, well, if you know them,

have a good time. And if you read this, have a good time with my husband. He's all yours now. Your problem. Asseuz. Well, there's been follow-up posts. Okay.

The husband of the woman has also posted on the other woman who took advantage of the Viagra prescription. He's posted on the Facebook page as well saying, looking for recommendations of a great local divorce lawyer. My wife and I are separating after 20 years of marriage. Turns out she wasn't quite as honest as I thought she had been. Sad times. Let's go back to the original poster who posts again and says,

Well, well, well. It turns out that the woman, the woman's daughter and her husband thought my husband was not married to me. Hey, I did a ceremony 18 months ago. See you all on Thursday at fitness class, guys. No negativity, please. What is happening at this fitness class? I know.

Wow. That's not the place to air any of that, by the way. No, and it's all been going down very publicly. I think the posts now have been deleted. But if you're on the Pohuta Coast, it was just like grab some popcorn and enjoy the drama. Because it is all going down. If you see anything on your local Facebook page,

maybe this sort of like your next level boss or someone selling pictures of their feet. Screen cap it and send it to us. We're FBMZM on Facebook. I've got an apology to make. I'll make the apology now. Do you have some apology music? I need some heartfelt music.

What do you reckon? Well, I could do that song Apologise. Oh yeah, that's good. Is that because that's about that? And who was the other people? The script. No, Teddy. Someone on the other. It's too late to apologise. One Republic.

That's them. Yes, this. It's too late to apologize. One Republic. That's them. That's them. Yes, this works. This song? This works. This works. This apology is for producer James. Okay, right.

You must have known this was coming. Yeah. I feel terrible about this. I had an idea. So. Oh, James sounds scorned. Yesterday. Yeah.

Playing some Fortnite with DaBoys. DaBoys. Some of DaBoys. Some of DaBoys. Some of DaBoys. Right, okay. Some of DaBoys. We're online, so we're playing Fortnite with DaBoys.

And we've got three of us in there. Okay. So we auto-fill the squad, which means a random member, a random person playing Fortnite gets put into our there. Okay. So we auto-fill the squad, which means a random member, a random person playing Fortnite gets put into our squad. Right. And we're chatting. It's quite a cool way to get to meet people.

Right. What if they're rubbish? Oh, then they die and you're like, man, that business was rubbish and then they leave. Oh, okay. And you just,

when your game finishes, you drop in with a new boy. Right. Or girl. Or girl. We're not sexist. Okay. So we get to the end of a game.

Yep. We start a new one and we're randomly joined by gamer African Jace. That's his gamer name. African Jace. Okay. African Jace has got an Australian accent. Right. So no one wants to ask why he's called African Jace because he could be South African.

Oh yeah, true. But he could be second generation Australian. Yeah. He can be called whatever he likes. Yeah. So African Jase, good guy. Good guy. So we...

As far as you're aware. We exit the battle bus with African Jase. A battle bus? We have a cracker game. We win. You drop in with Jase. We drop in with Jase. We win, by the way.

Okay. We get a victory royale. So we're excited. Okay. Gets to the end of the game. None of us are friends with African Jace. We're about to lose African Jace. Right.

And then we exit out. African Jace is gone. Forever. Gone forever. I remember his username, so I go to add African Jace. Yeah. And I'm like, add African Jace to game to invite him back in. Yeah.

He doesn't show up. In the meantime, producer James pops up online. So I'm like, oh, it's Du Bois. It's Du Bois. So I invite producer James in. Yeah. Red doesn't show up. In the meantime, Producer James pops up online. So I'm like, oh, it's Du Bois. It's Du Bois. So I invite Producer James in. Yeah. Red Leather Panda. Yeah.

Red Leather Panda. What? That's James' username. Is that your username? That's my gaming name. That's his gaming name. It sounds like a bit kinky. When did you make that?

I don't know. It's had a lot of history. I was like 14 maybe. And I went through and made it. Red Leather Panda. Yeah. Because of Red Panda and Red Leather. I mean, it was clever. I think I was like 14 maybe and I went through and Red Leather Panda! Yeah. Because of Red Panda and Red Leather. I mean it was. It's clever. I like it. You remember my Facebook post. I was a weird kid.

Yeah. It was just a random generator. Okay. Right. So James comes in and then Red Leather Panda accepts my friend. Oh no sorry. African Jace tries to come into the game as well but it's full. Four people. Well because James has turned up. Because James has turned up.

Yeah. And I'm in the lobby now. So he's in. We're ready to go into the battle bus. Drop in with the boys. Yeah. But we feel terrible because African Jace. Yeah.

He's a new friend. So we say, oh, and oh, African Jace was going to come in. It was a race, but African Jace lost the race. James says, oh, I was going to get some lunch. And we're like, African Jace lost the race. James says, oh, I was going to get some lunch. And we're like, okay, well,

why don't you go get some lunch and we'll play a couple more games with African Jace. You kicked out James for African Jace. And James is like, and I backed out. James is like, oh,

okay. Like, he obviously was just wanted us to say, no, you're more important to us than African Jace. Because he felt unwelcome. And we're like, oh.

And it was really awkward. He's like, alright guys, I'll see you later. And he disappeared from the lobby and then African Jace rejoined

and we played some more games with African Jace. When African Jace was ready to go, I messaged James saying we're ready and he said, I'm actually going out now.

I sort of sensed the sheer disappointment when I entered the lobby. That's heartbreaking. From the three of them. And then they started talking about this African Jace guy, and I thought, I'll just go have my lunch or something. Can I ask, is African Jace better than James at Fortnite?

James is pretty good. James is sensible. African Jace is a loose cannon, but he's one of those loose cannons that has a fair bit of luck on his side. Right, okay. Fortune favours the brave. It does, it really does. Yeah, right.

And, yeah, I'm really sorry. We felt so bad about that. African Jace didn't, because he doesn't know you, but the rest of the boys, we all felt pretty bad about it. I mean, I appreciate the message afterwards, but, I mean, I was having lunch.

I had other things to do. From Vaughan Smith No Spaces to Redley the Panda. Is that your username? Yeah, I know. I thought you were Vaughan Anonymous. I know I've been Vaughan Anonymous forever, but for some reason when I set up my PlayStation account, it just, I put Vaughan Smith and I'm boring, eh?

It's not an exciting game attack. I wish I could go back to Vaughan Anonymous. I think my PlayStation was like my name with maybe some numbers. Yeah. I can't even remember. A classic gamer tag. Yeah. Put your name in there, maybe your birth year behind your name.

Yeah. Or if you've got to get a gamer tag and it's taken, you put 007 behind it because then you've got a little bit of James Bond feel. Oh, my God. You've got a gamer name? No, but I could use like my old. Roller derby name. Oh, yeah, Chloe Carbashian.

Yeah, it's long. Yeah, it is long. That's a good one. I like that. Yeah, it's good. They'd like that. Yeah, right. That sounds real badass.

Because you make a quick judgment on a gamer and when you're in a random squad, you do. You kind of... Because if they're just like gamer459, you're like, oh, you're a bit uncreative. And people already think the same when they just see my First name then last name

And of course They need to cut your name down When they're trying to call An enemy out So you know They'll call me They'll be like Panda

Like Enemy240 But then they'll just be like Yeah yeah yeah Like Vaughn Or something like that Yeah Vaughn Vaughn

Vaughn240 Yeah So you've got to call it out So you've got to have A nice short one Panda Yeah Panda's good for that That's kind of badass.

I really like that one. Red Leather Panda. Yeah, it is. It's cool, eh? You got one, Caitlin? You ever played games? I've always tried to drop in with the boys

and I'm not allowed. You are allowed. You keep choosing Love Island over dropping in with the boys. Don't make it sound like the boys are not wanting to drop in.

I want to drop in. My name, I'd want it to be something that's like a little bit like forceful, but then also like, I'm cute. So it's like. Right. Feisty cutie. Yeah, because then you'd be like cutie enemies 240. I would love to know other people's game attacks.

Maybe you've got a story behind your game attack. Like what, like James' red leather panda. Yeah, everyone always has sort of weird sort of gamer tags and stuff. Yeah. I don't know if it's some sort of persona that you want to be online.

I don't know. Kind of like your early panda or anything. Like your early hot male MSN. It is a bit, that's a lot what it's like and then you kind of

get stuck with it. But you don't have to use your gamer tag when you're applying for jobs where you get older so you have to make a sensible one. It can still be loose.

Okay. I'd just like to know people's gamer tags this morning. Maybe a light story behind it. Some of them have got pretty legendary stories behind them. A good Mario Kart victory back in the day, perhaps? Right. Okay. I don't know if you can go cross-platform with a Mario username on a PSN, though.

0800-DARLS-ATM-9696. What's your gamer tag? We're talking about gamer tags. Maybe where you got your gamer tag from M9696. What's your gamer tag? We're talking about gamer tags. Maybe where you got your gamer tag from. What's the story behind your gamer tag? We've learnt James is as red leather panda. Much like people's first email addresses. There are some great gamer tags.

There are some doozies out there. Some text messages in on it. Somebody said, I went for slick sniper, but spout S-L-I-K-S-N-I-P-A. And people think I'm a hairdresser. Slick Sniper. Because it looks like Slick Sniper. They're like, oh, you're a hairdresser.

No, no, no. I'm a Slick Sniper. Pass me that sniper rifle and I'll show you why I'm a Slick Sniper. Victoria, what's your gamertag? So my gamertag is Chico underscore three. Underscore three, okay. Yeah, so Chico.

So I thought I couldn't find anything, so I was trying to get it in a different language. So apparently it's wise in Japanese. Okay. Which I thought was kind of cool, but everyone just keeps thinking I'm a Mexican. That'd be Chica, wouldn't it? Hola.

Oh, Chico's the name, but Chica would be female. Yeah, but every time they say it, they have to say it in that accent, and yeah. So not the Japanese one that you were originally started out as. Yeah, and I try and explain, and they're just like, don't want to borrow it. I don't care for your explanations. There's a game to play, isn't there?

A bit of things to do. Yeah, yeah. Thanks, you're cool, Victoria. Zach, what's your gamer name? It's Mad Wookie. Okay, that's good. Star Wars reference, obviously. Yeah, very, very much so.

Okay. So, yeah, I've had that game tag for probably almost like eight years, so it's been with me through and through. Yeah. Yeah, as you can tell, big fan of Star Wars. And when I was a lot younger, I was an incredibly angry child, so it ends in mad. So I'd always be that little raging child.

So, Zach, you're more like a happy Wookiee now. Yeah, yeah, pretty much. I do have the occasional ones, you know. Yeah, but you're coming of age. You're older and wiser. Maybe that's older and wiser Wookiee. Calmer Wookiee. Thanks, you're cool, Zach.

Becky, what's your gamer tag? Oh, hi. So, yeah, my gamer tag is Bexselector. And it started when I was 19. I'm nearly 37 now, so I've had it for a long time. I was at uni and there was a song by

Craig David that goes you know, rewind. Oh, selector. That's what I was singing in my head. Beck selector. Beck selector. Wow, so your gaming tag is that old. That's brilliant. And I can't bring myself to be anything else.

I'll be backselector till I die. Oh, good on you. You'll be backselector till you die. All right, thanks, Becky. Ashley, what's yours? McSanta pants. What is it? Okay.

Do we want to... Mick, do you have orange hair? No, I just love to drink Fanta. Oh. Unrelated to the colour of your pubic hair then. That's surprising. I thought that was what it was going to be kind of about. Well, that's why you'd call someone Fanta pants.

Yeah. Not saying you should, but... I'm almost saying you shouldn't. It's mean. I think FantaFan was taken, so it just became McFantapants. Oh, right. So you put the Mc on there out of desperation

to be still Fantapants. Yeah, and I worked at McDonald's at the time, so it was like, you know, chicken McNuggets, McFantapants. Showing some real corporate loyalty there as well. Really? Yeah, thanks for your call, Ashley. Cheers, bye.

Some text messages in. Someone said, My gamer tag is I-I-I-I. Cheers, bye. Some text messages in. Someone said, my gamer tag is I, I, I, I. Just the letters. Right. Because I used to wear glasses, so it was like four I's. Oh, four I's.

Four I's was my gamer tag. So I turned a negative into a positive. That's such a special story. Thank you for sharing. I tried to sound sincere, but I came across sarcastic. God damn it, I can't. That was like, as a person that used to wear glasses,

I love that you turned something people said into a positive. I think that sounded sincere. Yeah, maybe my sincerity can't be like, relax. I'm like, calm and hey, that's great. It's got to be more like, yes, like aggressive sincerity. Aggressive sincerity. That could be my game attack. Oh, yeah.

Yeah. Because, yeah. Yeah. Because, yeah, it's like nice, but also. Yeah, I'm going to kill you. And I'm sorry about that, but it had to happen. Yeah. My name is Dwayne. Not my name. My name is Vaughn.

Pleasure to meet you. This is Dwayne. Dwayne goes with Dwayngerous. Oh, I kind of like that. He said it was derived from Top Gun. What on Top Gun? I thought they were all like Goose and Iceman and... Dwayne Dress.

Dwayne Dress. I like that. I like that. If you can work your name in this way. I feel like he tries to make his friends call him that too. Yeah. I'm going to work on using your game attacks for all of us that are like a pun on the name.

Right. Okay. Yeah. This is making you feel better about your gaming tag, James? I never felt bad about it. I've always, I own my gamer tag, you know. Ridley the Panda. You are.

And that's the thing. You have it, like people say, for a long time and you don't really change it, so. You just get used to it. I like Ridley the Panda. It's confusing and as you say, it's easier to shorten. Panda, we're rolling. And then we die.

That's mostly what happens. Don't be confused. We're not good at Fortnite. We just like it. Okay. There is a company in the US. It's called Billy. Spelled like a female way of spelling Billy.

Okay. And they have been celebrated for putting an ad campaign up. It's for razors for women. But in the ad, it shows women with hair, with body hair. So with armpit hair, with pubic hair, with I guess, what's the proper name for like a snail trail? I don't know if there's a proper name for the snail trail. But they show women with, you know, like hair on their stomach, under their belly button.

Hairy legs? Hairy legs. Okay. And they show some women shaving, like hair on their stomach, under their belly button. Hairy legs? Hairy legs. Okay. And they show some women shaving, some women combing it, some women like drying it with the hairdryer. Combing? Combing what? Armpit hair.

Oh, okay. I was going to say, not the pubes. You don't comb them, do you? I don't. Not anymore. Not anymore. I mean, each to their own if you want to do that. But basically they're saying in the ad it says, if you want to shave, when you want to shave, we're here.

So some of the women in the ad choose to keep their body here and some of them choose to get rid of it, which is like very different from the ads that women have been trying about shaving forever because first of all, the women in the ads don't have hair when they shave it and second of all they um you know they're saying that you should

so this is purely pointing it up to women saying it's your choice I've got a problem with this ad yeah a lot of them are dry shaving oh god

you don't go raw oh god and it made me go oh if you lather it up it's like you can't see the hair it's for dramatic purposes

there's one part of this ad where a woman's shaving through the rips in her jeans, which I, as a lazy man, can totally appreciate and would do if I was female. Only shaving the bits that people can see. If it was winter, yeah. But she's going non-lathered. Oh, the thought of it. Yeah, always trying to use a gel or a foam. Oh, you've got to use something.

Yeah. So that basically said, only showing smooth, hairless legs seems like an archaic way of representing women. I'd never thought about that, though, on a TV ad with a woman shaving. It is already shaved, and it's got the foam on it, and then they shave.

You don't even see any hair. You never see hair. Also, this company has put up a huge... Because then, like, if it was a 30-second ad, 28 seconds of it would be like banging your razor on the sink to get the hair out. That's what the hardest part about shaving your head is stopping everything.

Now I'm just going... Get the heads out. Putting it under, like, high-pressure hot. Come on! Yeah. So in Times Square, you know how they have those massive big digital billboards? So there's one in Times Square that they've put up.

It's a huge billboard of a woman with her arms of the year just showing armpit hair. How's that going down? Divided. Which is so interesting because some people are so against it, so angry that these women have armpit hair. How dare they have hair? But it's her body. What do you care?

What's the outrage? Hairy dudes being like, oh, that's disgusting. Oh, no, no, no. Yuck. Oh, yuck. How do we feel when we go into a place and we buy something, whether or not it's dinner, shopping, whatever,

and there's no pay wave? How do we feel about that? Not good. I don't like it. I like pay wave, especially for small purchases because it's just like tap and done. And done. I don't have pay wave.

But if it's over $80, you've got to put it in your pin anyway. Yeah, true, but it's still better than putting it in, isn't it? Yeah. It's annoying, right? Well, the swipe and the insert, it's like swipe, no, but it's still better than putting it in, isn't it? Yeah. It's annoying, right? Well, the swipe and the insert, it's like, swipe, no, you better insert, and then it's like, no, no, give it another swipe, and you give it another swipe, and it's like, insert it, and you're like,

oh, for f... Swipe, and then the woman's like, oh, hold on, I'll print off a bit of receipt paper. Me, me, me, me, me, me. Yeah, give it here, you put that in there, and it's like, me, me, me, me, swipe, it's like, insert, and you're like. Oh, God, someone's about to get broken. And then some places have the big sign, no pay wave,

and it's like written in, and then they sellotape it onto the top. I still tap like that, and they're like, no pay wave. I'm like, maybe we should look into that. Passively, aggressively. I've been like that as well, and I'm like, oh, what's wrong with you?

Why don't you upgrade your terminal? Yeah, there must be a reason. So a story I read yesterday and this blew me away. I had no idea this was even a thing. Burger King in New Zealand have ditched contactless payment due to what they're saying

are exorbitant bank charges. So this story talked to one business, a small retailer, so not even Burger King or a big store or chain. They said that they pay $23,000 a year to use PayWave services. Good God. Why? I thought it would have all been in the buying of the F-Pos machine that can do it.

No, that's what I thought. But each transaction is charged a fee. Why? So research in February revealed the average merchant service fees charged in New Zealand were 1.2% for a contactless payment and 1.6% for a credit payment. Whereas in Australia and the UK, 0.6% and 0.2%, so virtually nothing. Whereas here... Is it one of those bank fees that just needs to get called out

and then the banks are like, oh, we'll get more? Well, apparently there are laws and regulations in the UK and Australia, but none here. So we need to get Jacinda onto it. I sound like my dad or someone's favourite screaming at the TV. Get the... It's John Key's fault. Get them to legislate it out of that. Get them doing

something useful like like like getting rid of paywave fees like imagine if everywhere was paywave how great would that be

it's so annoying when somewhere's not paywave like you say BK's getting rid of it but McDonald's drive-thru is you get the kids a happy meal you literally just

lean out the window you like tap you tap it away but you I used to be all like anti I was almost a bit like, come on, business owner or business, get your shit together, get pay way.

But I can totally understand it now. Yeah. Because that's ridiculous. That's excessive. That's Burger King, like small businesses. How are they supposed to afford that? Yeah, that's a small business. Burger King and big stores would be paying way more.

Right. Because I offered if it's a 1.6% on a credit payment for everything that's paywaved. That's insane. That's a lot. Because I offered this local cafe had the machine that had like the paywave ability. Yeah. And they said, oh, it's a new machine. And I said, oh, do you want me to set up the paywave? Have you got the manual? Because I was waiting. You don't know how to set up. But this is how much I like. No, no, no. it's a new machine. And I said, oh, do you want me to set up the pay wave? Have you got the manual?

Because I was waiting. You don't know how to set up. But this is how much I like. No, no, no, it's in the manual of how to do the machine. Right. And they were like, oh, no, don't worry about it. And I was like, why not? And then they still didn't get it done.

But now I understand why they don't want it set up because it's going to cost a fortune. So you can see now why they have that little sticker. No pay wave. You can tell. You know why. It's not that they don't have the terminal or couldn't get the thing. It's they don't want to pay.

That is a lot of money. I can see why. I'm seriously bringing this up next time Jacinda Ardern fucking this is in studio. She must have got a to-do list, eh? Yeah. Just chuck it on the bottom. Exactly. Or like at the top.

Yeah. Like cross one at the top off. I don't know. Seriously, whoever's running next election, if they say, vote for us, we'll make paywave legal. Yeah. Everywhere's paywave. We'll make it illegal for banks to charge paywave fees. Yeah.

And everywhere has to have paywave. Yeah. They'll get my vote. Easy. Like, it's just simple things in life, eh? Yeah. Yeah. And then you vote them and they're like,

well, of course we're not funding hospitals anymore because we've got to pay for the paywave thing. Duh. I'd be okay with that until I broke my leg. Yeah. Then. We've got to pay for the payway thing. I'd be okay with that until I broke my leg. Then there'd be hell to pay. Now, I'm inviting you all to play along at home. Megan's going to tell a story. I'm going to let her tell the whole story.

No interruptions. That's going to be hard. But, whole story, no interruptions. You see at home At what point of the story I've got the biggest problem with? And I think we share this, right? I was like, what? Well, you told us the story. I was like, what? Rewind.

When the crowd say, Boop. Select. Okay. Okay. Okay, go. So our little doggy, Leo, who's cute and doesn't have googly eyes, needed... We're not interrupting.

We're not. I've revved. I've revved. He's cute. He doesn't have googly eyes and he needed a shower. So we can't put him in the bath because he shakes around and stuff, so he has a shower. So he needed one and we always get in the shower with him.

So it was Andrew's turn to do it. I was on drying duties. So he gets naked, gets ready to have the shower. And Leo is obviously in tune to this is what happens now. And so he decided to run away. He knew that that's what was coming. So he ran away from Andrew. Andrew chased him around the house.

The door was open. And so Leo ends up bolting outside to our backyard. Now, our backyard's fenced and we do have neighbours. There's trees and stuff. But when Andrew was chasing him around the back lawn naked, it was then that he realised you can actually see the back deck of two of the neighbours. Yeah, right. So he's trying to one hand over his bits and pieces, chase around Leo.

But as you get close, the dog runs away again. So after about 10 minutes of exposing himself to the neighbourhood, he gets Leo, gets in the shower, and gives him a shower. This is the story that I told Victor this morning. End. So, I can't wait for Neighborhood Watch woman to come back around. I was like, we're going to get a phone call. We are 100% going to get a phone call.

Stop exposing yourself to the neighbors. Did he run in front of that security camera that no one's quite sure where that's going? Okay. So, Megan tells us this story. My biggest issue with the story is that you guys get naked in the shower with your dog to wash your dog.

You leave your undies on. Leave your undies on. You're getting in the shower. Our shower's tiny. So you're 100% going to get wet. Leave the undies on. We'll get some togs on. What's wrong with being naked?

You don't go and should ever want to touch against the dog with your jennies. Why are your jennies anywhere near the dog? Because you won't put them in packs. The dog's on the ground. I know, but with your dog small, you're going to lean over. And then if your jennies look like dangly playthings, the dog could bite the jennies. Yeah. The jennies shouldn't be anywhere.

You slip in the shower, as many people do. You don't land on your dog with your jennies. The shower's too small. You're not slipping over in the shower. You'd hit the wall. Jennies should never touch the family pet. It's not. They're 100%.

That's a hard and fast rule in the Smith house. It's a rule. Just because you're naked doesn't mean that my jennies are going to get near my dog. I'm very good at keeping them apart. You just said how it's frantic and it ran around the backyard. I know, but then you're in an enclosed space and the dog sits on the ground and you're washing it. And then it slips down to the jennies. No, you're not holding it.

You're not holding it. You have to crouch down and you could accidentally teabag your dog. What is wrong with you? Over its big googly eyes. It doesn't have, don't bring his eyes into this. You know, there's some big balls to cover those eyes. Could we, producers,

how do we feel about this? Oh, because I showered, that's the easiest way to wash a dog, I'll give you that. You take it into the shower. I always leave pants on. In the summer, I'll just go in in shorts. No, because then you get dirty and you just chuck the dog out to the other person. I dry them and Andrew showers. But I can control. Do you have a removable shower head?

Yeah, but it's a tiny shower. You will get wet, 100%. Vaughn, you always take your pants off anyway. I don't know why this is like different. You have it on my knees. You're so cringy with nudity. I'm fine with nudity. I actually like the naked form, but not around animals.

Let's be honest that, I mean, Leo's very, very small. There's no way that your regime is... Caitlin, for or against being naked in the shower with an animal? Totally for. I do it with the dogs that I house it for. I always, like, go to the toilet in front of them. Oh, no. What are you doing?

Shut the door. Are you house-sitting houses without any door? Do you shut the door when you get changed? You should take a sh-door when you sh- I don't want the dog to get lonely! The dog's not going to get lonely if you're taking a sh- He wants to know where I am! And I'm in the toilet!

Does TV1 weatherman Matty McClain know that you took a dump in front of his dog? I'm fine with Otis being- I don't think Otis is going to tell like, Otis has been a bit different. I don't think Otis is going to tell you. Yeah, James? Oh my God, I had a traumatic experience. James, how do we feel?

No, I'm against it. I once got changed in front of my dog and he gave me a look in my eye that I did not like at all. See, that's what it's about. You think the dogs are looking at you

and judging your jennies. No, you shouldn't. Just get changed either in front of your partner or just behind closed doors. Aren't you? He doesn't care about your jennies. Nah, it's weird.

Yeah, it is weird. You don't want Leo to look up and be like, oh, God, Dad, put it away. It's like a child. Your dog does not care about your jennies. I'm just not. I'm just. You guys are weird. You're so prudish with your body.

Anything that's naked, you're like, no. It's weird. No, I like going shower naked like, no. It's weird. No, I shower naked. As long as it's me. Yeah, right. Okay. Alone. Yeah.

Or with my wife. But those are the two people that'll see me naked in the shower. The dog certainly wouldn't. What about fun times with your shirt on? Shut the... Oh, yes.

Fully clothed. It's almost like my penis out of the little hole in the pyjama. I was going to say, it's hand made style. It's just a sheet with the hole, isn't it? It's the love making sheet. But then you get a knock at the door and you stand up, you look like the KKK.

With your penis out. So Ariana Grande and Pete Davidson been together like two months and moving very swiftly along. Engaged.

Engaged to be married living together and the latest is that Ariana has got a tattoo which means a lot to Pete Davidson and his family.

So it's not Pete's name it is a number. So on her foot between her ankle and her toes on the top she's got the number 8418, which is Pete Davidson's firefighter dad's badge number,

who died in 9-11. So they met at the end of March, but they still had partners. Yeah. Both of them. May they'd broken up. So they've been together roughly mid-end of May. Yeah. So not even two months.

Yeah. It's crazy. That's ridiculous. Because how well can you, I mean, you spend all your time with someone, but you still don't really know everything about them, do you? Never trust anyone, ever. Full stop, ever. It's great life advice. I mean, I'm happy for her. If she's happy. Full stop, ever. It's great life advice.

I mean, I'm happy for her. If she's happy, it's all good. That's all that matters. Well, yeah, they could be together for 20 years and, you know, the tattoo will be worth it. Yeah. But it's gone from zero to a hundred very quickly. Yeah. Can we beat that? I'm still not ready to get Sade's name. Any reference to Sade tattooed

on me? What, just in case she leaves you? And my children, I don't trust them. They could be gone any minute. Out the door and then Any reference to Sade tattooed on me? What, just in case she leaves you? At my children, I don't trust them. They could be gone any minute. Out the door and then won't I look like a fool? Yeah, they could be Al-Qaeda or something. Oh my God, are my children Al-Qaeda up for this? They could be. Under cover.

Gosh, I knew they were going to kill you with cuteness. Indy, no, but Augie, I'm just not even sure. Could be, could be. Don't know where she's coming from. So, yeah, that's, I mean, it's not my thing. Tattoos aren't my thing. So, for me, I'm like, whoa, that's intense. But once you've got one, it seems less intense, you know?

You're kind of adding to your collection. And is it really permanent these days? Nah. Because she can afford to get it lasered off. Or just cover it up with something else. That machine that takes it off is like, pick, pick, pick, pick, pick, pick, pick, pick. Yeah.

Some people are getting it done. Yeah. But you've got to go a few times, don't you, to get it right? Yeah, you do. You do. Could we beat two months? What is the shortest amount of time

you have had something partner-related tattooed on you? Like matching tattoos? Your partner's name. Your partner's name? Something significant like that. That. I. Like matching tattoos. Your partner's name. Your partner's name. Something significant like that. I saw people getting tattoos in Thailand, wasted eye to their face after a full moon party some years back. And that's always stuck with me,

that if you just took a fancy to somebody and got loose enough, you could probably, on the night you met them, Get their name. end up tattooed in some way. Yeah. And then they go back to Sweden, you go back to New Zealand, you never see them again. You've got their name tattoo End up tattooed in some way. Yeah. And then they go back to Sweden. You go back to New Zealand. You never see them again.

You've got their name tattooed on you. Yeah, you have to explain what you've got. Yeah. What's a Swedish thing? That would be a great sign. Ikea. Ikea. Is Ikea Swedish?

Yeah. Yeah. And that was just her name. I don't think people are called Ikea though. They might be. They might be, sure. That'd be a sign. Better than falling in love with someone from Finland

and ending up with a Nokia tattoo. Or an Angry Birds tattoo. That's the extent of my Scandinavian life. You're exhausted now. I'm exhausted. You've exhausted yourself. So let's take some calls. Some text messages.

0800-DARLESS-ATM-9696. What is the shortest amount of time it's taken you, or drop your friends in it, the shortest amount of time it's taken you, or something, let's drop your friends in it. The shortest amount of time it's taken for someone to get a partner's name or something about their partner tattooed on them. Maybe matching tattoos or their name. Give us a call. Are we going to be two

months? I don't think so. I actually don't think so. Surely not. New Zealand's a massively tattooed nation though. We have tattoo festivals. But people get engaged Quick Like she's engaged And it's been

After a month She was engaged But you can call that off You can't call the tattoo off You don't even need a laser To call off Okay true Alright give us a call

FEM So Ariana Grande Got a tattoo Which is the badge number Of Pete Davidson Her fiancé's dad Who passed away on 9-11. Fiancé after two months.

Two months. And has a tattoo. Not even two months, even. Yeah, they've already got matching tattoos. This is a tattoo dedicated to his dad. We want to know how soon you got a partner's name or something partner-related tattooed on you. Sunny, good morning. Morning.

How soon did you get your partner's name? It wasn't a name. It was just a letter. Okay. It soon did you get your partner's name? Um, it wasn't a name, it was just a letter. Okay. But it was four weeks so. Four weeks? And are you still together now? Yeah, we've been married for nearly two years um, end of the month. You know, when you know, you know. You zinged.

Yeah, and we've also got, and it's okay because we've got a kid named oh, starting with K2 so if that doesn't work out there's always the baby's name with the K. Oh, yes. You don't want to keep getting Ks, though. Don't keep adding the no. Yeah.

Sunny, thanks for your call. Sophie, you got a matching tattoo with your partner after how long? Two weeks. Wow. Are you still together? Yeah, we've been together for a month now. Oh, wow. So this is fresh.

Yeah, real fresh. Were you drunk? I didn't know how to ask that better. It was sort of like a rebellion thing, I think. My parents didn't want us together. Romeo and Juliet situation. Right. And, okay, what's the tattoo of?

It's like just little mountains, but overcoming my parents' rules. Oh, that's kind of sweet. So he's got the same? Yeah. Right, so it's not a name. It's just the name of the Alps. It's just, yeah, some Alps, some mountain Alps. Yeah, pretty basic.

Any particular mountain range? Like, was it based off something? Maybe the Christchurch ones. Maybe. Just some generic Alps. It's a part of the Port Hills. You're just going to find the right angle and the right spot and the right height and the right elevation. Thanks, you called some text messages.

My partner and I got each other's star signs tattooed a couple of weeks in. Been together six years now. Oh, wow. Star signs there. But then if you break up, it's confusing. But then people are going to be like, oh, you're a Gemini. You're like, no, I'm not. That's my partner.

Partner. My husband tattooed my name in a fern after spending three weeks together. I thought he was crazy and I put it down to the hot weather and his impetuous nature. His impetuous nature. We're still together though. Yeah. Even despite his impetuous nature. He was such an impetuous man.

Okay. I got a nice Samoan design to honour him, but I still wouldn't put his name on me. Wow. Would that be a red flag, though? You're dating someone? As soon as he said that, I was like, oh, you'd be nervous. Yeah.

Somebody said, my ex, I was with her for four weeks. She wanted a giant tattoo on her lower belly with space for a firstborn child's portrait. Portrait? Red flag. It lasted not much longer than me going, mm. Yeah. Lisa, what was the story? This is your friend?

Oh, yeah, my friend, it was kind of like a dare, but she liked this guy and she got his name tattooed on, like, the lower back, top of her bum kind of thing. Yeah. That was, oh, that was, like, when we were at school. They worked together. She just liked him. No, she liked him, you know. They never went out.

Did they even ever kiss? No. Was it like a prison tattoo? Was it done with just like needles and a bit of pen ink? It was. We had a friend that was a tattooist, but it was like a home tattoo, yeah. Right. And does she still have it to this day?

She's had it covered up since. Ah, right. Okay. Wow. Wow. And she wasn't even with him. She just liked him. Yeah. That's crazy. Yeah. Oh, right. Okay. Wow. Wow, and she wasn't even with him. She just liked him. Yeah.

That's crazy. Yeah. Thanks, Lisa. My now ex-husband, five weeks now, this is a lesson. A lesson, okay. My now ex-husband, five weeks into our relationship, said, I'm getting your name tattooed on me. And I said, yeah, right.

And that Saturday we drove to a tattoo parlor and I still thought he was just joking around. We walked in and the guy behind the counter said, I'm getting your name tattooed on me. And I said, yeah, right. And that Saturday we drove to a tattoo parlor and I still thought he was just joking around. We walked in and the guy behind the counter said, thanks for all this and getting it. He said to the guy, thanks for all this and getting me in so soon. I've got it all written up for you. Are you happy? And my ex said, yep, that looks good. And I was like, ha, ha, ha, ha, because that was my name. And then he got it tattooed really large on his arm in big, bold, old English font. Then two years ago, he left me for someone else. But my name hasn't left him. It's going with him everywhere. Ha, ha.

Wow, that's brilliant. I've stabbed you. Well, she didn't though. She had no choice. He was the one that rocked it and did it. You're going to have to get that covered up or lasered because that's going to be hard to cover up with a tiger, isn't it? Somebody said a friend of mine was seeing a guy called Harley,

got his name tattooed on her. We were all like, is that a good idea? And then when they broke up, she, rather than having it removed. Yes. Davidson. Correct. Got a Harley Davidson tattoo. And people say, you're a big fan of Harley Davidsons.

And she's like, nah. Let me tell you a funny story. Here's a bit of a yarn you'll like as to why I have a Harley Davidson tattoo, but I'm not a fan of Harley Davidson. Right, so if we've learned anything but then we didn't have that many like

positive to negative stories about the same. I like to think that the people who got it and then it all fell to bits were probably a little bit more reluctant to the people

that were ringing to be like, aha, it worked. Yeah, I'll prove you wrong. Yeah, yeah. So don't. Do. I mean, do it if you like. It's your body. Do what you want. Yeah, yeah. So don't. Do. I mean, do whatever you like.

It's your body. Do what you want. Exactly. Fact of the day. Day, day, day, day. Today's fact of the day has to do with energy drinks. Okay. The Red Bulls,

the Monsters, the V. I don't know if V does this. I would have to confirm if V does this. I can confirm that both Red Bull and Monster do this. Okay. Today's fact of the day has to do with, you know when you see people sponsored by energy drinks and they're always

drinking energy drinks and you're like, man, how do they do that? Like, always drinking. Always drinking it. You know, like, motocross riders, if they're sponsored by energy drinks and they're always drinking energy drinks and you're like, man, how do they do that? Like, always drinking. Always drinking it. You know, like, motocross riders, if they're sponsored by Monster, are just always drinking. That's just so weird

that this is a fact of the day because I was wondering the other day, I was like, do they do a special cam where it's just water? Correct. That is today's fact of the day.

Energy drinks. Yeah, it was like Facebook. He was listening to you. I was in your head. No, because I think I was at the gym and I saw like a motocross rider or someone or a BMX drinking. And I was like, that would ruin you if you're on eight of those. Yeah.

A ride. So this Monster Energy, they sponsored the Warped Tour. One of the recent Warped Tours. Right. And on stage, everybody was drinking Monster and all the bands backstage when they were having photos I don't know if they were obligated to have so many photos with the Monster logo in it

or they were getting a social media kickback for having photos drinking Monster somebody said one of the drummers opened a can of Monster and poured it all over his head and they were like wow and then they tried that themselves and their eyes started to burn and they're like what

the hell is going on and it turns out that they do monster tour water and Red Bull do special cans of water for their athletes and performers so they don't have to constantly be drinking the energy drink they can just drink water but make

it look like they're drinking the energy drink. Especially because if they were to have a bottled water, it'd come from one of the competitors. Exactly. Like it'd be a Coke water or a Pepsi water. Yeah. So they've got a run of cans that they just do for tours or these events so athletes and stuff can drink,

as well as drinking the sponsor's product. Do they make the water coloured? Like so it looks like Red Bull? I don't think so. Okay. I don't think so. I mean, the guy that poured it over his head, you'd probably be able to see,

but otherwise it's just straight in the mouth, so you don't really see what's coming out of it. I've got a picture of the... See, if you just had a quick look at that, that looked like a Monster Energy drink. But if you looked down the bottom, it says Monster Tour Water. Oh, wow.

So they're not hiding that it's water. No, no, because... So much. No, because, see, there's like a fridge full of them, but it all says Tour Water down the bottom, it says Monster Tour Water. Oh, wow. So they're not hiding that it's water so much? No, because there's like a fridge full of them but it all says Tour Water on the bottom. Because obviously if you think you're going to be drinking water backstage and you keep accidentally grabbing actual Monster Energy drinks, that could be problematic for your heart, I'd imagine. True. So yeah, they've got the logos and everything on them.

So that's like a selection of all the different Warped Tour designs over time. But, yeah, it's actually just carbonated. It can be carbonated or still water for the athletes. Wow. So there you go. They're not guzzling like 15 cans a day. You know, a few of them are, but most of them are water. So today's fact of the day is when you see athletes and musicians sculling energy drinks,

often it's just water in those cans. Fact of the day! Day, day, day, day! 5 seconds of summer on CDM Fleeche for the Megan Are you alright mate? Yeah I'm alright, what's happening? We're on air

What were you doing just then? I was just typing What noise did I make? You were just like not even there You were just not present I was here Did you remember before, I was like,

you're going to bring in this bit. I've got no idea what you're talking about. No, I didn't. I didn't know. No, I didn't hear that. I was absent when you said you were going to bring it in.

Wow. I can bring it in. Watch this. So, producer Caitlin, this is what we deal with on the daily. In an ongoing love affair with Love Island, is looking into something, and she said, would Sade like one of these?

And I was like, I guarantee she'd love one of these because Sade, my wife, is watching a lot of Love Island. And she thinks it's affecting her sleep patterns because, you know, that blue light that comes off a screen before you go to sleep is no good for you. Yeah. I just saw you yawning, Caitlin, and you need a bit more sleep. I know because I've been dreaming about it as well. Have you?

What happened in your Love Island dream? Well... Are you there? Yeah, I'm with them. You won't understand, please, because you don't watch it. Like, if I start talking about Jack,

she'll be like, who is that? So I have to... But what do you do? Are you part of Love Island in your dream? In the dream? Well, I'm just, like, with them.

I'm just hanging out with them. So you are. You're on Love Island because, effectively, that is Love Island. Yeah, but I'm not in a G-Banger Keeney. Are you hooking up with any of the guys? No, no, no.

I'm just there. I'm just like observing it. What are you wearing? I doubt I'd vote you off in the first week. Well, I can't control my dreams. I don't know. I'm just there. What are you wearing?

Like track pants or something? Pajamas? I don't know. I don't know what I'm wearing. I just, I'm just, I don't, you can't control dreams. Right. Well, we know that you've got an addiction, a problem to Love Island, but I think

you've taken this next level. No. This isn't next level. This is extra in a good way. And Megan, I've needed your help with this. But also because I'm getting them, okay, so I've decided that I'm going to bulk order. Get on board if

you want, but it might be quite stressful so don't message me. Yeah, I feel like as soon as you say this we're going to get a million orders. I am going to purchase the Love Island drink bottles. Personalised drink bottles. They have your name on them, they have the

cool strills. They use them 24 7 7 on the show they look really cool when they drink them it's just like oh my god how can you look so hot when you're drinking out of a drink bottle but they do and i'm going to just because they're hot right hot people that's their skill they look hot bottles because they've got like the fluorescent colored like their names on it they literally carry with them in the pink can't they and the water bottles i think some of the toys have like of their drink bottles. What? Because they've got the fluorescent coloured names on it. They literally carry with them all the time. So they're in pink, aren't they?

And the water bottle's white at the top? I think some of the boys have blue ones. There's different colours that you can get. And it's infused. You can put fruit in it.

There are infuser bottles as well. But there's nothing particularly special about them, but they're so great because they're the Love Island ones.

So are these official merchandise? Yeah. Megan's found some. Are they like my one? You can actually get it're the Love Island ones. So are these official merchandise? Yeah. Yeah. Megan's found some. Are they like my one? You can actually get it from the Love Island. They're way better than... That's way better than that. Yuck. This is like a skinny, sleek one and it's white. It's so much better.

Why is my drink bottle yuck? It's just dumb. So I'm getting... Yours is like bulbous. This is a great drink bottle, by the way. This is the best. This is camelback. It's so much use. These are drink bottle by the way. This is the best. I thought you were going tramping. This is camelback. It's so much use. It's called one litre. These are like cute by the pool ones. You're going to be so jealous when we

have our cute drink bottles because Megan doesn't even want one but I'm going to get one for Ellie. You do? Yeah, I changed my mind. Well, I'm going to, I'm only ordering ten. Okay. Because I've got to get them for James' girlfriend, my sister. Like it's quite stressful. So what you order and you give them your name and they'll write it. You've got to put the name on the bottom, yeah. Right. Because I've got to get them for James's girlfriend, my sister. Like, it's quite stressful. So, you order

and you give them your name and they'll write it. You've got to put the name on the bottom, yeah. Right. And the colour. These are so expensive. I found some online

to get, like, each of them delivered was $50 per drink bottle. It doesn't matter. It's worth it. But I've, like, I've found it a little bit cheaper. Don't look at me like that.

But you scoff on the actual Love Island, like, merch site they've sold out. You have to wait. So people are making these themselves. Yeah, you can make the little sticker and put it on. But I want to get the legit one.

Maybe we should contact the show. I'll pay $100. Don't be silly. No. For a drink bottle? Oh my God, I will use it all the time. Can you imagine? Do the Australian people have the same drink bottles?

Yeah. Yeah, they're the same. Have you tried their that Instagram picture was... Do the Australian people have the same drink bottles? Yeah. Yeah. They're the same. Have you tried their website for merch? No, they're sold out. The Love Island, yeah. UK and Australia.

I don't want to get... They need to be exactly the same. No, they need to be the same. The skinny white ones. Maybe I'll get Erin on mine just because that's my favourite one. And not my own name. Should I get Erin on mine?

No, get your own name. Okay. Are you, like, listening back to any of this? Yeah, I know. But I've been watching The Staircase as well to balance out the denseness of Love Island and the dreams. Did you say the denseness? With some high-hitting possible murder.

Yeah. So my dreams are, you know, like, sexy bikinis and then, like... People in sexy bikinis falling downstairs. Falling downstairs and blood everywhere. We could be buying cigarettes. They're bad for us. This is water. It's helping us drink.

I don't buy drugs. You can't justify purchases by saying, at least I'm not buying cigarettes. Yes, we can. We'll justify it how we will. Yeah, that's how I justify it. It's not drugs and ciggies. It's a water bottle.

It's good for you. You can put cucumber in it. You can put cucumber in it. You can put cucumber in any drink bottle you want. But you can't look cool and sexy. Given the allowance that the top is skinny enough to fit a cucumber slice, but then even if it's too small for a cucumber slice, you could cucumber stick it. Warren, you're making this uncool.

This was like a really fun thing that we've done, and now you're just annoying me. You can't talk about our drink bottles. I'm voting you off Love Island. No! I'm winning. God, they'd have you out in a week. They would. Alright, okay. Well, good luck with that, Caitlin. Thanks.

Do you want one? Have you got any tips? Message me. Most definitely not. I've got one. It's hot and cold. This is a hot and cold Thermos. It's so dull. I got a Thermos last week. Oh, I'm excited to use it. Get a little hot coffee in there, maybe a little

soup. Warm the soup up at the start of the day and it'll stay hot all day. And it stays cold all day. Does it have your name on it? No. It says Daycore. That's the brand. Just change your name to Daycore. Easy. The gender pay gap in New Zealand, there's been a little bit of a look into Decor. That's the brand. Just change your name to Decor. Easy. ZM. FEM. The gender pay gap in New Zealand,

there's been a little bit of a look into different industries and how bad the gender pay gap is. And the worst area is law. Oh, I wanted to guess. Oh, sorry. I wouldn't have guessed that, though. No, because I just thought that was like sued them or something. But I know that there's many aspects to law. But then what's happened recently in the legal industry with interns and sexual harassment,

you know, people have said it's an old boys club. Yeah. So that doesn't surprise me. Yeah. I'm not saying every legal firm's like that, but it does sound like there's a bit of an issue there. Yeah. So the median salary for the legal profession men $128,000

and women $66,000. So like a massive, yeah, yeah a huge gap. And they're not doing any different work. No. No, it's not it's a legal profession. So I wonder everyone wants to. It kind of blows my mind that it's that profession because wouldn't they

Know the legalities with that And just be like hey you need to pay me more Or I'll sue you I wonder if it's the same in America Because this is the New Zealand Legal system I don't know about in America With the

What do you mean They get very litigious, don't they? And they could sue them. The smallest gap at the other end of the scale was consulting. Men still paid more,

but it was a much, much smaller, much smaller gap. This is just good because there's a lot of people that deny this is even a thing in New Zealand. Well, now you can see it.

You can see it on paper. There's been a survey done. What are you supposed to do about it? Say you're a been a survey done. What are you supposed to do about it? Say you're a female in the workplace. What are you supposed to do about it? Because you're not really supposed to know what other people get paid, are you? You can't go to your boss and say,

so-and-so gets paid this much. I want to get paid the same. So what are you supposed to do about it? Just suck it up. And you don't want to lose your job. Look, I'm pretty sure if you had the answer for this, you could fix it. Just suck it up. And you don't want to lose your job. Look, I'm pretty sure if you had the answer for this, you could... Fix it? Yeah, if any of us had

the answer for this, our pay gap would be way more. Yeah. It would solve a lot of problems, wouldn't it? Yeah. How to deal with it. What have you found? Oh, it's the same in the US. Really? Massive difference in the law? Well, they looked at US law firm partners, so the top dogs. Yeah. Men and women.

The average male partner made $949,000 a year. Yeah. And compared to females, $659,000. But I thought that was all done on how much you purchased into a big partnership. Well, how much you're billing and I don't know. Yeah, yeah. Don't know how it works. And then lawyers as well.

So similar gap in America. Wow. And they sue each other. So yeah, that's not the way out of it. But then lawyers only like the suing when somebody else's money

is paying for the suing. Yeah, true. So they probably want to sue each other but they're like, all right, who are we going to bill this to? Who's getting these quarter hours

in the time sheet? They're like, I guess you have to bill yourself. Whoa, I cost a fortune. I'm not billing myself. That's madness. Can't we just settle this like, you know, human beings? No, that's how we do things around here.

Sweet as a... ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. For more, check out FVM ZM on Facebook. ZM.