ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Megan Podcast - July 06 2018

Episode Date: July 5, 2018

We start a new segment called "Don't Get Fletch Started", Bev's Travel Blog and what happened on speaker phone?See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is the Fletch, Vaughan and Megan podcast, thanks to Spark. You can stay connected with free Wi-Fi a gig a day on the $19 Spark prepaid rollover pack. Enjoy. Thank you, Anya. Welcome to the show, Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. Big night for intern Anya last night. Had a few wines, didn't you? Eight wines and a spew.

Two spews. Two spews. Two spews. Oh, my God. Yeah. That was Thursday night. You guys, I'm just a loose 21-year-old. You know how it is. What?

You know me. Just another Thursday night. Mum got on the res. It's already quite fun at work, behind the scenes, because producer Caitlin Is Duck Duck diving and walking

A tightrope Of avoiding Who won Love Island Australia I swear to God Don't even say Love Island At least you don't have to Research spy

Like try go looking for Goss And avoiding some goss So the winner was Crown last night The winning couple The winning couple Barry The winning couple. Barry and Sandra.

Don't even joke about it. This is the best I've just heard. You know what? You're just going to slip it out there. I think you should turn your laptops off. Done. Just don't go on the internet. Yeah, do you know what?

We should just go home, actually. I know I'm supposed to be in charge and stuff, but this is really important to me. Just watch it during the show. I'm telling you. No, we can't. It's not out in New Zealand until midday. You didn't go on your phone last night

and you're turning everything off until midday. I haven't even looked at my phone. There might be a family emergency, but I can't look at my phone. I'll message your mum saying if there's a family emergency to get in contact with me. We're regular. How are you going to avoid this today?

Someone's going to come into work and be like, oh my God, I can't believe one. I will slap people in the face. No, but they won't be able to watch it. Oh, at least they've seen it online. Yeah, no, no. So it's going to be online, but then once it's on TVNZ On Demand,

then we can... And I'm supposed to be watching it with my friends, but stuff them. I'm going to watch it by myself. Oh, yeah, and then just re-watch it with them later. And pretend. Yeah. Wow, I didn't think that was going to happen.

That's good acting, eh? Oh, no, that was terrible. I was wondering what you were thinking. Wow, oh my God. Oh my God, watch this bit. I mean, I don't know what happened. Listen to what they say. I mean, what?

I'm trying to listen to what they say. Stop talking because I'm scared you're going to say it. I kind of want to know who you want to win. No, no. But then they might say something. It's got to be so nice to have coffees want to win. No, no. But then they might say something. It's got to be so nice to have coffees, eh? Like takeaway coffees. It would be good to have takeaway coffees, wouldn't it, Caitlin?

What? If you went and got us coffees. Oh, my God. I was like, who drinks coffee on the show? I was like, what name rhymes with coffee? I know. I was like, who drinks coffee on the show? Guys, I'm leveraging us free coffee.

Because if she doesn't get them, I'm telling her who won Love Island. What if I go outside and someone's talking about it in the shop? Just put headphones on whenever you go anywhere. Brad and Kirsten, One Love Island. That's not a name. This is going to be a long show. Wait, there's no problems, eh, man? I'm like, I'm deep.

I'm deep, eh? You are. All right, you lot, listen up. It's story time. I have found three news headlines for interesting, unusual, weird, quirky news stories. Vaughan and Megan picked one of the following three

headlines, the others deleted. Headline one, always listen to mum. Headline two, man breaks own world record. And headline three, man forgets that crocodiles are a thing while swimming Oh did he get aided? Like eaten whole?

Like all of them gone? Or just a little bit? I think they found parts They do the old death roll don't they? The crocs? Yeah Yatch And then they take you down to their underground lair

What an awful way to go Snapped my head off straight away So I don't know what's happening. That's awful. Quick old break of the neck would be a good way to go. Jesus, that was grim. It came out of my mouth. I was like, what are you saying that for? Better than a crocodile

though. Yeah. Mum's always, what was the number one? Always listen to mum. A lot to be said about always listening to mum. Well, they know best, don't they? Is that like I told you so? Remarkably, they do.

Something's happened. Well, something has happened. I'll leave it at that. Okay. I want to know. We'll go there? Yes, please. We'll go to Arizona now.

Anna Mae Blessing. She's 92. Anna Mae. This lovely old woman. So she's probably a mum. Yep, she is a mum. A great grandmother and a great grandmother. Or a meemaw or whatever they call them down south.

Well, she's not a lovely old lady. This 92-year-old woman shot her son. Oh, so she is a mother, but... Because he was going to put her in a rest home. Well, if she can still wield a gun, maybe she's not ready for a rest home. She appeared quite independent. She appeared in an Arizona court in a wheelchair and her orange jumpsuit to face charges of murder. Oh, he's dead.

He's dead. The court heard that she'd been worried about her son Thomas' plan to put her in a home because she'd become difficult to live with. Monday, she entered his bedroom and opened fire with a gun hidden in her bathrobe. Killing him, police said. Wowza. Her son's girlfriend wrestled the gun and another pistol off her. Of course, it's America.

You have multiple guns. Of course you do. Who then sat meekly on a recliner waiting for police, according to the police report. She was arrested. She announced, you ended my life, so I'm taking yours. So she's like, well, rest time or prison, what's the difference? Pretty much, yeah.

Oh, my. Oh, my. Yeah, I know. And some were 72 as well. But then a prison is also not going to cost you anything because the rest of the time you have to pay for it, don't you? Yeah. Well, maybe that's if you blow through your KiwiSaver.

Serious question. Rob a bank. True, 100%. Yeah. I mean, your freedom's gone. Yeah, the guards probably treat you better than some of those orderlies that they would shove them in cupboards and stuff. True.

If you are in jail but you're over 65, are you allowed to collect the pension? I doubt it. Okay. That's a good little savings scheme.

To do what with? Buy chewing gum and stuff? No, when you get out you've got a nice little chunk of money to do something nice. She's not getting out though. Do they have a canteen

in prison? Like can you get crunchy bars? Is it like school canteen? I've never been to prison I don't know. I feel like there is a little canteen but I feel like it's just

like a little shop window. You know? And a guard's there. No I just wonder because don't they have ciggies in prison and stuff? No they made prisons smoke free remember?

Oh that's good. Uproar. Yeah right. What? I murdered someone I want to be able to smoke. Sorryproar. Yeah, right. What? I murdered someone. I want to be able to smoke. Sorry, actually. Sorry, not allowed to.

You shouldn't murder people. Gosh, that's a good punishment. We should have thought about this ages ago. People might stop killing each other if they're not allowed to smoke wherever they end up.

But yeah, I'm pretty sure prisons in New Zealand are smoke free. Right. I don't know how to imagine there's a vending machine. Well, because where do you get the money from?

Prison tokens. Prison tokens, right. For being good. Like strip club money. You can't use it anywhere else, only at prison. So it's no point trying to take some home. F.M. Fletch, your famous try this while overseas to get free gym membership while on holiday

trick has blown up in the face of an Auckland resident. Trying this in Auckland. Maybe that was where the mistake was. A local trying this. But a guy called Jed wanted to try a gym in Auckland and he said, I would really like to come in for a casual trial before I sign up to a gym,

which is fair enough. Don't most gyms do it though? Make sure that it works for you and it's got everything you want. You want all your equipment that you like. Yeah. You don't want to join one and then go in and it's all raggedy ass.

Yeah, exactly. He said it started out with him saying I'd like to have a trial to which the gym said so the deal is you pay $18 for your first visit. Casual rate. There's nothing casual about $18.

No, a gym visit. That's a lot, yeah. And your second visit is then free. So you can have a trial, but effectively it's a $9 per session trial, but you pay for the first two sessions at the first session. Are they sick of freeloaders like me? I was just trying to get a free couple of days.

They are quite central, so maybe there is backpackers trying it on. Oh, yeah, I guess if you're going to have backpackers and stuff, I didn't think about that. I was going to say, it's only a couple of times you're going to go, and then you'll know if you don't like it or not. We say that $18 is an expensive gym visit, but if you've got like a Les Mills gym membership and you've been twice in a month,

you're paying significantly more than that. You are. Aren't you? Yeah, you are. Per gym visit. So he said, look, is there any way I could just have a look around? Is this on text or email? It must have been email.

Right, okay. I'm just not keen to pay $18 ahead of not seeing what it looks like. It feels like a bit of a backward trial process. Oh, a bit of sass, okay. Oh, but a sass, okay. That's fair enough. Yeah, no, it is. So then it took off. Oh, this was a Facebook exchange.

Right. The messages went back and forth on Facebook. You asked about trial memberships initially, not just coming to take a look at the equipment. You can pop down and take a look at it. But that's free, but you're not allowed to have a workout at all. This is what the gym is saying.

Yeah, whether or not you want to work out as entire lab to you, backwards or not, it's $18. First one, second one free. Nice customer service. No wonder you guys have got such a bad rep is what Jed then responds. Okay, Jed came in hot with that response. No, but fair enough, he's getting sass from the gym. No, but also, they're like, you can come and look at it,

but you can't work out on it, which is fair enough as well. It's kind of what he wanted, I think. Nice customer service. You've got a bad rep around here. The gym's response, eat shit. I can't even say the next word. Really? C, star, star, K, sucker.

Okay. So you can, if you're only good at crosswords, you should be able to work out what the star, star, I think we all picked up. made the C, star, star, K, word be. Yep. Yeah. Did Jed respond?

Not that he's told the Herald. Right. Because he shared this with the New Zealand Herald saying, this obviously isn't very good. Wow. Great customer service. Then I linked to their multiple one-star reviews of the gym. Oh, dear.

Yeah. I don't want to name the gym because I don't personally have anything and acts to grind against them. Right. And I've never experienced the gym. So I don't know. Maybe that person was just having a bad day. We all have bad days. So cravings. Cra. Maybe that person was just having a bad day. We all have bad days.

So cravings. The cravings were getting the better of them that day. Yeah, when you're messaging back to the customers from the work Facebook account. Actually, I should be heeding my own advice here. Yeah, well, like when you're driving a company car, don't pull the fingers. There was a time we were in Christchurch

and I was driving the Hauraki Yurt and I forgot and that woman would emerge probably from there and I was just pulling the fingers it was like the time we were in Christchurch and I was driving in the Hauraki Yurt and I forgot and that woman wouldn't merge properly with me and I was just pulling the fingers at her

and someone's like Vaughan we're in the Hauraki Yurt I'm like oh yeah sweet it's not a ZM car who cares

sorry about that it was on her though and to be honest she was being very rude and that fits with their brand though though, too. Yeah, it does. It actually is a great brand alignment,

ripping the fingers at someone who won't merge properly. FEM. ZM. This is an interesting story, and a few of us here on the show have read it, but apparently nobody is actually straight, 100% heterosexual. After a vodka cruiser?

Well, I mean, or without. I would love to see a graph of your heterosexuality upwards and then vodka cruisers consumed along the bottom. Right. And how drastically it would drop the further along the XY axis you got. I mean, causation does not, correlation doesn't equal causation, but there's an undeniable correlation there. Sure. Between vodka cruises consumed and

So it's saying everyone is like. A little bit gay. A little bit. A little bit gay. A little bit. I don't know, like do I count for this because I'm not, I can see an attractive guy and be like that guy's attractive and I'll say to my wife

that guy's hot. Right. But to my wife that guy's hot right but i don't want to sleep with him right okay so that would put me what about do you want to kiss him no okay here's the thing that i don't about kissing another guy yep and i totally like if you want to kiss a guy you kiss whoever you want as long as no laws are broken and they're okay with it those are my rules i'm kissing yep um good rules solid rules like if they're okay with it. Those are my rules on kissing. Yeah. Good rules. Solid rules. Like if they're cool with it and it's not a horse, then that's sweet. But a guy kissing another guy, it would be the bristliness of the bristles on my bristles that I wouldn't be.

Bristles on bristles. Yeah. I quite like kissing a smooth face. Well, how do you? Does Mr. Toyboy ever have bristles? I thought you were going to say, how do we get on bristles on bristles? I was like, excuse me. No, you don't have a moustache yet.

Okay, good. Because Vaughn has to tell me. Our lifetime agreement of I will tell Megan. Yeah. Tell you. And if you did, it wouldn't be bristly. It would be like soft because it's like. Because I haven't shaved it yet.

You haven't shaved, yeah. I personally think that's why I find women kissing other women hotter than men kissing men. The bristles, I can't get over the bristles. Bristles on bristles. How does your wife deal with your big beard? I don't know. My beard gets soft. It's not...

Like, I've always got it a little bit longer. It's not... The longer it gets, the softer it feels. When you think about it, you're not like rubbing your whole face on your... she's not getting your whole beard. You're only getting like a little edging when you kiss. Yeah, a little tickle. It's kind of tickly. So to summarize, you're not gay because you don't like bristles.

Bristles on bristles. Yeah. If I could just get around kissing a man to make love to him, that would probably. I'll only kiss a man if he's just had a clean shave. No, I'd say that'd be the worst time. Why? Because of that really long, short, velcro sandpaper. It'd be like kissing a 480 grit sandpaper.

No, if you just had a clean shave, it's soft. It'd have to be right after. He'd have to literally come out and have a shick in his hand saying, it's clean. I'd be like, lay one on me, sweetheart. Right here on the pecker. What does his study say? That there's no

100% straight people. And women more so than men. Women's sexuality is complex and not within the bounds of strict hetero or homosexuality. And men, a little less so, but still on the scale of it.

It's not... Now, this was basically whether or not your eyes dilate at the sight of different... Because that's one of the markers of finding other people attractive. Because I was going to say, are people just lying

but you can't make your eyes do what they're doing? What kind of study would that be? What, they just like sit here and then they wheel out like 20 people, hot people. And you're like, oh. Yeah. Like a, yeah, I don't know. And then your eyes are like,

the best part would be getting a whole lot of homophobes in there. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. And they'd be like, oh, Darren, your eyes have dilated. But he did not. But he did not. Did not. Darren, your eyes have dilated. Bloody did not. Bloody did not. Did not. Darren, they've dilated more than anyone else in the study. They didn't!

Darren, you've got a stiffy. I don't! I don't, I'm not gay! I'm not gay, okay? I just need to go wheeze, that's why this is happening. And someone turned the lights down a bit, so my eyes got bigger. I'm not gay.

Darren, it's okay if you're gay. I'm not. Okay, you got me. Even Science wants to tell Caitlin that it's okay to be single because they have revealed that it's not as isolating as people think. This is going to make you feel better going into the weekend.

Thank you. I mean, I can tell myself that, but I choose to hear it from others. Science. It's different when science says it, you know? So a study has found that marriage constrains people more than being single. So people in a marriage are less social.

And people who are single hold stronger social bonds. So if you're single, you're more likely to stay in touch with people, provide help to and receive help from your parents, siblings, neighbours, friends. And you're more likely to be actively involved in your community. Hmm. That's because... You have more time. Yeah.

Yeah, and you do all that, like, community stuff to get laid. But then if you're... Yeah, you're trying to find someone. Yeah, but then if you're... Will there be a hottie in this community group? That's how you'd look at doing community work, eh, Caitlin? Yeah, that's how everyone does. Oh, my God, you're hot.

Are you here on community work? Oh, I'm actually on PD. That's why you went to that island to plant trees, because you thought you'd meet some hot guy planting trees. No. How'd that work out? That didn't happen. They were all couples.

And you just spent all day planting trees? You were really tired at the end of it. I was really tired. I had a hangover, because I went out the night before trying to find a husband and that didn't work either. Well no, you had a good spread that weekend, didn't you? Sober activities, drunk activities.

I just can't even imagine you in a relationship because like, you're such a social person. I know. I think I'm going to struggle with that because I love flirting. Yeah, I just can't imagine it. So I don't want to not be able to flirt with boys. Yeah.

So you've got to stop that. And then, like, they kind of expect to sleep in the same bed. Yeah, nah, not. Yeah, because you want separate beds. Like, hang out with you and. Oh, it's too much admin. Yeah. I mean, I've done it before, but it's just didn't, that's why it didn't last, wasn't it?

Yeah. You know, I was just thinking, someone who doesn't mind if you flirt with other people and sleep in different beds, a cat or five is an option. Wompf. Ask the other crazy cat lady on the show. I've got one cat that doesn't

make me a crazy cat lady. It makes you on your way to being a crazy cat lady. I know, because I'm like, I could just get another one to keep this one coming when I'm not here. And then I'm like, oh, then I being a crazy cat lady. I know, because I'm like, I could just get another one. To keep this one coming when I'm not here. Yeah, and then I'm like, oh, then I'm a crazy cat lady. And then they need a third, because I don't know what game you need three people to play. Because they need to spice up their relationship. Yeah, they need to have options when it comes to conversation.

No, no. You guys need to step in if I try to get another cat. Don't let that happen. Because your house would be devastated. I'll let you get two, but I won't let you get three. Right. Because I'm quite a fan of animals having other animals to ride. You just let them knock everything over.

Like, no, I'm not letting you have two. That's when you start, like, you know, getting ready to be a crazy cat lady is when the cats are more important than pot plants standing up and shit not being on the floor. They can do what they want. They're having fun. Yeah, that's just it. Oh, my God. They're mis they want. They're having fun. Yeah, that's just them. Oh my God.

They're mischievous. They're cheeky. The Top Six with Vaughan Smith. Hello. Today's Top Six. The Top Six names for Wellington's new pet whale.

Beautiful photos to come out of this. Oh, so cool. I mean, I've always had a lot of time for the whales. Yeah. You love whales.

I've never met a bad one. I've never met one full stop, but. Remember, I was going to go like do, get on the Sea Shepherd and protest and. The whales. Because you saw that movie, The Cove. But then you found out the voltage on the boat wasn't right for your hair straightener, so you're like, I'm out. And I wasn't allowed time off to be an activist, so I was like, oh, okay.

Work should do that, eh? Give you a, what do they call it when you're allowed to go and stop playing rugby for a while? That's the same day. A sabbatical. A sabbatical, yeah. And it's cold in Antonga. An activist. Oh, very cold.

But that's why the whales like it. Yeah. People have been going out on their stand-up paddle boards, aren't you? If only this was in Auckland, you could have got out there on your stand-up paddle board. Yeah, sign me up. It would have been a great use for it, because you've used it twice. And even a whale hates a stand-up paddle board,

or it would come up and it would be like, boom, and breach right beside you and knock you off. How's that for finally some excitement? Yeah, but actually, the more I think about it, the less I know where the paddle's gone. So... So now it's just a board. I mean, I see that, the board, the less I know where the paddle's gone. So now it's just a board. I mean, I see that, the board, a lot, because it's, I mean, about 15 feet tall.

But you've got to be careful. You can't fly drones over whales. No, that's illegal. And you can't go within, is it, 50 metres on a boat? You're not allowed to seek them out on kayaks and stuff. And in Wellington, I actually quite like the way the council have been dealing with it. They're like, hey, look, we're not whale experts.

But in the meantime, while we're finding out from whale experts what we should do, maybe we shouldn't go too close on kayaks and stuff, not try to freak it out. The boats have to slow down. I thought they've been dealing with it well. The fireworks this weekend might be postponed. Correct. Because the

whale might not like it. They've got these. Have you seen their ears? They're like three foot long. Their ears? Yeah, on the side. They hear the fireworks. Are they? Yeah.

Whales' hearings. Oh, yeah, because they hear underwater like. Yeah. But they've got like human ears, but they're grey. Oh, no, he's lying. But whales do have huge ears. They do, yeah. But it's that internal.

I was just going whale ears. But so whales can hear underwater really well because they've got really thick, long wax. No, he's lying, but whales do have huge ears. I was just going whale ears. But so whales can hear underwater really well because they've got really thick, long wax down in there, and that kind of stops the water getting in, so they can hear really well. And when we go underwater, we don't have enough wax, and so we don't hear as well underwater. Interesting fact.

Interesting. Side. That cancellation of this weekend's fireworks actually takes us nicely into number six. I think the top six names for Wellington's new pet whale, number six, Matariki. Because it showed up just before Matariki and the Matariki fireworks might need to be cancelled. Or postponed. Yeah.

And for a little bit because of the whale. And I think that was quite nice that it showed up there. Good name. It's a cute little name too. Easy to remember. Number five on the list of the top six names for Wellington's new pet whale. I've just realised this could be taken wrong, so you've got to let me finish. Number five, Catlin the whale.

Not Caitlin the whale. Not Caitlin the whale. Catlin the whale. Isn't that a place? Correct. Do you know whereabouts? In the Catlins. Yeah, but okay, you've got me there.

The Catlins is one of the most southern right-hand parts of New Zealand, and this is a southern right whale. Oh, that's pretty cute. So I think the right-hand side, some people like to call it east. I call it right. Oh, yeah. Because if you look at it, it's on the right. So Catlin the whale is my number five suggestion.

Number four, and this one's just because it's really hard to say, White Rail the right whale. What? No, that's a silly name. It's got to be an easy name. White Rail. White Rail. Because it's a right whale.

And it's just because it's a tongue twister. I was so impressed with the first few because they had such meaning. Oh, I get back to it. Okay. It's hard. Sometimes you've just got to pack out sex. And what is it, Friday? Yeah.

There are a few fillers in this. Yeah, a couple of fillers. Fillers in the list. Yeah, not all killers. Some filler. Number three. Oh, now, I'm just going to need to get myself in the right stance. You know what I'm like when I've got to say Māori words.

I've got to stop down and reset myself. Okay. Whakatau toroa, which is Māori for cheeky whale. Oh, okay, isn't it cheeky? And it's really cheeky. The breaching and stuff's adorable. Yeah. They're like, oh, there's a whale in the harbour and it's breaching. I was expecting

like, it just coming up and going, and then goes. This one's like jumping. Flicking around. Getting the tail out of the water. It's like... I've just come up from Kaikoura. This stuff's going off down there. Oh, that was an elephant.

What was the name again? Say it again. Whakatui Toroa. I like that. Whakatui, which I know I'm saying right. This is Māori for whale. Toroa. Toroa. Okay. The A's got the dots, and I know that means to drag. This is Māori for whale. Tūrua. Tūrua.

Okay. The A's got the dots and I know that means to drag it out a little bit. Okay. Number two on the list of the top six names for whale and his new pet whale, Roadworks the whale. Because it's causing cars to go slow.

It's the reason a lot of people are late for work and it's making a lot of people just stand around looking like they're not doing much. Like Roadworks. Like road workers. Like road works. So road works the whale. And it's kind of weirdly cute. And you could,

no, we're not going to put a road cone on it. But if it ended up with a road cone on it, that would also be really cute. That would also be cute. And the number one name for Wellington's new pet whale

on today's top six is Coriander. Some people like it and some people hate it. No, I researched this because I'm worried now. It's good on Mexican. We've told the Japanese whalers. We've told the Japanese whalers we're the whalers.

Oh, no. We've pretty much put a beacon on it. We've painted a target on its back. So I've learned Japanese people hate coriander. Oh, okay, good. You don't serve coriander in a Japanese dish hate coriander. Oh, okay, good. You don't serve coriander in a Japanese dish apparently. A higher percentage

of Japanese people find coriander to taste like soap than any other country. So let's call it coriander and say it's got a real cilantro taste to it. I like it.

And they won't come. Get the hell out and go home safely. That is today's top six. Right now, Bev next live. Fletcher's mum, Bev, is touring Denmark at the moment before a walk across, literally, across the UK. She's been training for that too.

She's done some training walks. I mean, just alone, the garden tours she's been doing, she's been covering some miles. I hope she's got a good pair of shoes. And she surprised us all with a blog, with photos, and text. It's next covering some miles. I hope she's got a good pair of shoes. And she surprised us all with a blog with photos and text. With photos. It's next live. Yeah.

Still in Denmark. This comes to us from the 26th of June. So we're going back, you know, a little while. Yep. In fact, I am awaiting a new update. This all came through on the last update. She gets a bit flustered, though. She writes them and then she posts them all at once.

I must say, but her punctuation, her spelling, everything on point, her grammar's wonderful. No grammatical errors. So she posts to a draft and then goes back for a proofread, does she? Yep. Wonderful. Not a lot of people do that these days. No.

Myself included. I could do with a proofread. I'm so bad at capitals. Ah, whatever. Full stops. Ha ha is my full stop sometimes. Yeah, that's a good full stop. That's a great full stop.

Our first stop this morning was the historic town of Gelling, the birthplace of Denmark, where King Harold Bluetooth established his kingship. Now, I always thought that was just something someone made up, that name. Bluetooth. No, I don't know the connection, but even the little symbol. Most of us don't connect it either, can't connect it either because it's rubbish. Awful, awful.

It's like infrared between phones. That never took off either. But Bluetooth, that little symbol, that was the king's symbol. Wow. Because everybody had like a royal sort of emblem, and that was his royal emblem. But he didn't invent it though, right? No, he didn't invent Bluetooth. This was like...

Not in the 1700s. No, it was well before that. No, it was like the triples. It was when there was only four numbers in a year. What? Three numbers in a year. Wow. So why did they choose Bluetooth in his symbol?

Because he might have had a blue tooth. This is how they... One of them was called Redbeard. The guy that established Greenland, he had like green in his name. Right. Yeah. So what's Bluetooth got to do

with your phones like connecting to something? Again, don't know. Okay. I've asked too many questions. Maybe the people that invented it were Danish and they just wanted to

pay homage. Okay, that makes sense. To the establishing. There'll be a reason. Yeah. Two large mounds are on the side with a church in between of the site. The mounds sit on the outline of a giant Viking ship and was surrounded by a fence.

The burnt remains, which were found in modern times, she goes on, there's some photos here and including the emblem, and she said this is a UNESCO World Heritage Site. And I believe her first UNESCO World Heritage Site. She's ticking them off. She's getting through there. I've just Googled. Bluetooth was borrowed from the 10th century king,

second king of Denmark, Harald Bluetooth, who was famous for reuniting Scandinavia just as they intend to reunite PC and cellular industries and devices. Oh. So they're like bringing everyone together just like the king did. So that Bluetooth would be a better name for Wi-Fi then. Yeah, because Bluetooth is crap. Yeah, right.

Bluetooth is just one person to one person, right? Yeah. I guess, I don't know. It's then that after the visit to the king Bluetooth site, that stuff gets exciting because we visited the nursery of Nood Peterson where a new rose called Peter Boyd was christened. This rose is a Scottish road. Peter Boyd is on tour with us, and he's a writer and researcher on these roses.

And this new rose is named after Peter Boyd. He was there for the christening of his rose. They poured a glass of wine over the rose bush. It was a very auspicious occasion And Danish TV were there filming So the TV reporters spotted some Aussies And said you've come a long way And we were very quick to pipe up and said

We've come further Old mate New Zealanders On a whole love doing that If some Aussies are getting some praise for anything We can We're paying with how we're better. Us too. So then he wanted

to interview us, so we all pointed at Eileen and said she can do it. And Eileen answered a few questions, which was apparently on TV that night. And then there's a picture,

this is Eileen, look, with the Danish TV reporter. Oh yeah. Being interviewed. What's this Eileen being interviewed? I love that mum thinks that's going to make

the news. Oh. Like it's probably not. Is it? Oh it might have. Probably not but they didn't see it so they'll live in ignorant bliss. Yeah. Of what makes the news. In the afternoon we visited a palace which is another summer residence of the Queen of Denmark. I think she's in

residence. Her security was very tight and only our special group was allowed in. Oh, bless. An extensive heritage rose garden was combinated by artwork and a magnificent plant of the rose kiftsgate. Apparently that's bigger than roses. Right, okay.

Roses. Then she's put a photo up. I've got questions about this photo. Is this a fornication statue? Yes, it is. This looks like a statue of two people making love in almost a crouched position. Does she comment on the photo?

Like, does she explain it at all? No. Most photos have captions, but not this one. Has she done anything else? Has she gone to any clubs or anything? Well, here we go.

Oh. Here we go. We then left the Kolding area and drove to Denmark's second largest city where we were staying the night. We found a meal in a lively downtown area.

Lively. It's the last week of school before the summer holidays, and the mood reflected this. The summer here is fleeting, so when it arrives, the Danes take full advantage of the good weather and long daylight hours. Students finishing high school wear naval hats and drive around in open trucks making a racket. Very often they're inebriated as well.

Did she say inebriated? Yeah, and then look, she's just like taking a photo of two random Danish hotties. Your mum is the best. She's really committing

to getting the details in this. Her photos, I've skipped over, but look, earlier in the blog, look at all these photos. Oh yeah.

This is good. This is as good as it gets. And then Bev's taking a photo of two Danish hotties there. Did you get them to sign a release for that? No, no release. Okay. Just using some people's images online. On the other side of the world,

there's no way two Danish girls have no idea they've had mention on a New Zealand radio station because the woman that took her photo, son works on a station. Well, mum is having a great time. Bev is going next Lev. Next time on Bev Next Lev,

there's a visit to a garden described as magical containing hundreds, if not thousands of pots that can be moved around to make the most out of sun exposure and different colours flowering.

Different flowers blooming. I'm happy she's having such a good time. I am too. It's not my idea of a holiday. But she is having a great time. Your idea of a holiday is to have the best time possible. Yes. And she is having the best time possible.

She is, yeah. Fletch. Vaughan. And Megan. The podcast. Love Island Australia finishes today. So if you are invested, avoid, because it comes out New Zealand lunchtime, so avoid the internet if you can.

Because it was on TV in Australia live last night. Yeah, yeah. No spoilers here. Producer Caitlin is Devo. I know you don't want to mention this because you don't want him to have the power. You don't want the terrorists to win. But she...

I'm shook that this even happened. Deleted her Facebook app, her Instagram app, her Messenger app off her phone and was going to reinstall after 12 when she had the chance to watch this episode of Love Island Australia. And we've made a big deal saying, you know, we're not telling her.

And someone just rung up and the first words out of their mouth were the two names of the people who won. Yeah. That's disappointing. I still maintain they might have been lying or they don't know. No, don't check. Don't check. I'm not.

Oh, I'm so mad about it. I can't believe someone would do that. He sounded like a dickhead as well. What a dickhead. He was a dickhead. Who does that? He's never calling again. I'm blocking him.

Anyway, that's not what we're talking about. Love Island is what we're talking about. Yeah. But the UK version. So in the UK, Megan has quite lush lips, the UK version. And this has caused a 200% surge in demand for lip fillers in the UK because everyone is going in saying, I want lips like Megan on Love Island. Now, what are lip fillers?

What's the... They get like a liquid inserted into your lips. It doesn't last forever and it is reversible, but it's like, it's a, yeah, it's just a liquid that fills up your lips. It doesn't last forever and it is reversible, but it's like, it's a yeah, it's just a liquid that fills up your lips. I personally it's weird when I see someone with the big lip

fillers, you're just like, why have you done that? This is what I think. Why have you done that? My problem is most of the time you can tell. And then it undoes the point of doing it in the first place, right? Everyone's looking at your lips thinking, well, why did you get lip fillers?

But why are they insecure about their lips? I don't know if people are necessarily insecure. They just want big... Lush lips are kind of the in thing. Kylie Jenner kind of started it, didn't she? Yeah. And now lush lips are. I mean, they look like...

Megan is beautiful. You should see a before and after. Everybody wants what they don't have though. There'd be people who'd be like, my lips are too big. I would like them smaller and then some people smaller and then big.

you never really think about it until you watch it and you're like, oh, my lips could be bigger. You know? Right. Oh, my lips could look, is there an app to test

what you look like before you jump into it? That's my problem, though, is also if you're getting any kind of, like, injections or cosmetic procedures, who would you even go to? Because you don't want to go to someone and then suddenly you've got, like,

real juju lips or something. But that happens. Yeah, who do you trust with your face? That's real scary stuff. And, like, if it's that obvious, you're just going to ruin yourself. I mean, you're a huge fan of Love Island, Caitlin. Does this make you want to get lip fillers? No.

That didn't sound convincing. No, I mean, like, I would never do it, but, yeah, like, I would. How much of that?, like, I would. So you would. What kind of money are we talking? It all comes down to money for me. But you should have seen Megan what she looked like before. It would be like $700,000 or something. Unrecognizable.

Right. Oh, so she's definitely had them. I didn't realize that she... Well, we had some in the office. Remember, they used to work here and they got them. And we were all like, well, how'd your lips get like that all of a sudden? But see, I called that. I was like, definitely had lip fillers.

That's the problem is that everyone can tell. So it kind of undoes it. And it's like, no one ever thought there was anything wrong with their lips beforehand. They were perfect the way they were. If I was insecure about my lips and they were really thin,

I probably would. Give it a go. I mean, do whatever. Exactly, whatever. Do what makes you happy. Can't you just do a big lipstick right up Halfway up You can

And to be honest When I met Khloe Kardashian That's what she does And it looks horrendous in person It looks horrendous Like in photos it makes her lips look bigger But in person She looks like your Aunty Jan

Who's done her lipstick in the car Who's put it on after a few too many shardies Not even kidding It looks so bad Well if we're going down to the IRS, I better put off the whipping. But you've already had too many wines. Yes, I have had too many wines.

Whoa! It's like a kid going outside the line. The other day, I was doing the feature, Am I a Bad Person? I was talking and... That's right. Because... I was just looking... That's right. Because... I was just looking at the time.

Here's at work. I've managed to completely hide the fact that I was talking about my husband doing Pilates with the hotties at his work. He hasn't heard... No. Back, even like friends, family, no one said anything.

No. Because I didn't say anything. I was just waiting to see if someone had messaged him or someone from his work had mentioned it. No one has. No one has. So, so far, I'm like, diddly-dee-dee.

No, you're like, yay, it works. We're like, wow, is anyone listening? Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. So, I, like, completely got away with it. Yeah.

But yesterday, and I don't know why I did this because I never do. When I answer the phone, I put it on speaker and I'll do what you said. Like say. You're on speaker. You're on speaker phone and such and such is here. Yep. Oh, no, no. See, no, no.

That's just my etiquette. You know. I am with Vaughn on this. Hey, hold on a minute. You're just on speaker. That's what I say because it makes it look, you seem a bit fumbly and then they're aware they're on speaker. Yeah. And then you, if it's Fletch and Sade calls,

I'm like, oh, Fletch is in the car. That's fine. If Fletch calls and Sade's in the car, I don't say Sade's in the car. Why? Because they're just like, why'd you say that? What did you think he was going to say? I'll just know that it's Sade in the car.

Yeah. I'll just know. I always do it like offhandedly like, hi, you're on speaker and Andrew's here. Like real like cash. No, that sounds guilty. Okay, you're driving, Andrew's in the car. He answers.

Someone's like, hey. And he's like, oh, hey, we're just in the car, speakerphone. Megan's here. Why? Exactly. Why'd you say that to them? Science. What were you going to say?

Exactly. And then the guy's like, oh, hey Megan, like that. And you're like, the whole tone's changed. What did you call for originally? They were definitely going to talk about you. I see. So what happened when you didn't say you're on speakerphone? My mum calls and I was like, oh, like.

Safe zone. Safe zone. We can talk about anything with mum. So I answer the phone and mum picks up. Andrew's right beside me and she answers by saying, did Andrew enjoy the Pilates, the hotties at Pilates today? Oh, right, right. She dropped you in it.

What happened to hello? Has this family lost all shred of decency? I was like, hi, mum, and quickly took it off speaker. Oh, even more guilty. No, but I was walking. Oh, right, okay. I was like, I put it like I was on a mission to somewhere and like it was inconvenient to, I don't know how I got away with it.

Now he knows. No, he still hasn't heard. I managed to cover it up. But who answers the phone with details like that? Mum. Your mum does. That's not speakerphone etiquette. But then do older people understand speakerphone etiquette?

I don't know. They grew up with party lines. You could just pick it up and listen to what the neighbour was saying. She was unaware she was on speaker. I think that was the problem. But I would like to know when you have been in the same situation. Maybe you've put speakerphone straight up. You haven't told them they're on speaker.

What did you get in trouble with? With speakerphone? Yeah. Oh. Was it your partner? Was it your parents? Who got you in trouble? Was it the person sitting next to you on the bus?

No, you don't go. You're just asking her on public transport. You don't go speakerphone in public. No, you wouldn't do that. People would. People do, but no, that's not... Well, maybe you're planning a surprise to someone and you speakerphone it.

You wouldn't do that, though, again. Oh, droppy, droppy, innit? Just don't go speakerphone. So much could go wrong. So much. So your parents always talk for ages, so I always put it on speaker and just leave it somewhere. Put it down and you've got other stuff to do.

Yeah. Okay, well, if you need to have kids, you hand them off to the kids. Oh, yeah. You're like, hey, talk to Nana. Talk to Leo. She probably would. She would. Okay, so let's take some calls.

Have you ever got into trouble with speakerphone? 0800 dials at M9696. How bad was it with people sitting right next to you and then someone talked about them? Oh, that's the worst. So how are you getting out of that? Yeah, that's why I love, I'm going to love these calls.

Give us a call. 0800 dials at M9696. We're talking about when being on speakerphone has got you in trouble and this nearly happened to Megan the other day, and plenty of people also on speakerphone. Or Bluetooth car systems seem to be the problem. They're betraying us. Some, it seems, have automatic answering.

Do you know what's worse than this? Is I, when I was in Nelson over summer, rented a car when I got to the airport, and it had one of those fancy Apple Play situations. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. So the whole screen has all the, and it brings up your messages. So if you get a text message,

it brings it up on the display. Oh, no. And you know, you know, you know quite often I name people in my phone like weird things or don't know their last names. Like you can't be driving along with your mum

and people in the car and then these texts come through. It's just, it's not naughty, Apple, naughty. I'm never buying a car with one of those. You're in the car with Eddie Allen and Ball Tickler starts ringing. I didn't even know I was going to hear from Ball Tickler after the incident that led to Ball Tickler's naming. There is no one in my phone called Ball Tickler.

Well, there should be. I hope there is by the end of the weekend. We're going to take some calls. We're going to start with an anonymous caller. Now, good morning, anonymous. How did you get into trouble with speakerphone? So I had to ring this guy for work. We work together.

And some of the stuff we talk about at work involves like lube and stuff. It's very civil, like flowing. Like car lubricants and stuff. Like's very civil, like flowing. Like car lubricants and stuff. Like industrial lubricants. Yeah, industrial stuff. And so sometimes the conversations can be quite jokey

and flirty kind of thing. And riddled with double entendre I bet. Exactly. And so I'm single and I ring this guy during work and he answers it thinking, oh it's just a work question. And we're talking about a job, but obviously the chat's quite funny and normally he gives me a bit of banter back.

And it gets kind of, you know, it's funny. And he starts going a little bit cold. And I'm thinking, he's not normally like this. He's normally got a good joke. And then we're chatting for quite a while and I'm trying to egg him on a wee bit. And then next thing, he kind of hangs up and he texts me later, oh my girlfriend was in the

cart, she's not happy. I don't want to ask what you were saying because I imagine if it involves lube and that kind of thing then... It was funny in the industry but I guess somebody that doesn't know the term probably didn't appreciate this. Yeah. Oh, no. Alright.

Anonymous caller, thank you. Cody, when did you get in trouble with speakerphone? I got in trouble with the boss in the car. Phone automatically clicked over to the Bluetooth speaker. Yeah. And it went through and there was a girlfriend calling and she'd asked how the weekend was

and I'd sort of covered my own butt with telling the boss that I was busy so I couldn't work that weekend. Oh! She dropped you in it. Yeah, so she dropped me in it rather quickly and I just sort of said, yeah, it was a family event and I had to go along and everything else

but yeah, it was my mate's party. That's why you always answer with, you're on speakerphone. Friends are family that you choose, you know, you weren't lying so much as being poetic. Exactly, thank you, Cody. Chloe, what happened when you get in trouble on speakerphone? Well,

it was my birthday not too long ago, and I decided to call my dad about the birthday present my partner got me, but my dad's a little bit old and doesn't really know how to use the phone. And actually, the accident turned it on to his speakerphone. Yeah. When he asked it. Yeah.

And the first thing I said was, oh, my partner got me the most hideous earrings from the warehouse for my birthday. I effing hate them. And he was right. He's right here. He's right here. He's right here. Oh, no. I just want to dig a big hole and bury myself in it. I'm not even you.

What did your partner say? He didn't say anything for a couple of days, and I was just kind of awkwardly letting it go. And then one night we were driving home, and he just looked at me and he said, why didn't you tell me you didn't like the earrings? And I was like, oh, oh. Oh, my heart's breaking for him.

He tried, though, didn't he? Yeah, he tried. I was just being just so shallow and I just felt so awful. Like, how hideous were they, though? Like, real yuck. Yeah, no, they were like, no, they weren't great. No, he needs to be told because he might be engagement ring shopping soon and he needs to know that that's not acceptable.

But he started off the relationship with a bang. Our first Christmas, he got me a guest watch. Like, he has style. Right. He just was slacking. We'll have our moments. Right. Chloe, thanks for your call.

No worries. Some text messages in. I was in the office one day and a workmate emailed me saying, I need to talk to you about the boss. And I said, yeah, give me two minutes. Who arrived in that two minutes? The boss arrived in that two minutes. They answered the phone when they were talking to the boss,

just on speakerphone, and the person just launched straight into their tirade. Oh, no. Always. There's etiquette here, people. Yeah. to the boss just on speakerphone and the person just launched straight into their tirade oh no always these etiquette here people yeah we need to learn this yeah but they claim that they forgot that the person was talking to rant about the boss when the phone rang they just were like hello and answered on the speaker and it all went right so yeah friday flashback all right it's my pick for Friday Flashback. A warm-up ahead of Friday Jams, which kicks off soon.

This song is 10 years old. I think that might even surprise you. Okay. This song actually came out in the middle of June 2008. So, if we have, because there's been fierce debate whether or not we've done this song. And you're saying you can't find any evidence that we have. We can't find. I know that we've played this a lot, maybe in the background while we've done this song. And you're saying you can't find any evidence that we have. We can't find it.

I know that we've played this a lot, maybe in the background while we've been talking. Yeah. We referenced, we love this singer. Huge fan. We do love this song. Great song. Because I wanted to pick it,

but then I always was under the impression we'd done it before. We could have only done it this year, according to Flash Rules. James, the producer, who's in charge of the list, the playlist for Friday Flashback says it's not in there. It's not in there. So, we are going ahead.

It's a banger. Now, this song was the most watched YouTube video when it came out from 2008 until it was taken over in 2010

by Lady Gaga's Bad Romance. That was the one where she murdered? Was she murdered? She was drinking vodka with Alexander Skarsgård. Something happened, eh? And she pushed him off. No, that's paparazzi.

Oh, is it? Yeah. Oh, okay. Anyway, well, that overtook it. Bad Romance is the way. Blah, blah, blah. I don't think those lyrics were close. So yeah, for a couple of years,

it was one of the most watched videos. It actually received a nomination for the Video Music Award for Best Artist. Why? This video was a good song, but video is like... Video a bit average. Well, it didn't win.

It only made it to number 24 in the New Zealand charts, but I tell you what, Venezuela know what's going on because it made it to number three there. A lot of the Europe charts, it was in the top 10. It didn't do so well here. Australia made it to number 10. I feel like as time's gone by, we appreciate it more.

We do. Yeah. Slow burner. It's your Friday flashback. It's Miley, Seven Things on ZM. I probably shouldn't say this, but at times I get so scared When I think about the previous relationship we shared It was awesome, but we lost it

It's not possible for me not to care And now we're standing in the rain But nothing's ever gonna change Until you're here, my dear The seven things I hate about you The seven things I hate about you Oh, you You're vain, you're a game, you're insecure

You love me like her You make me laugh, you make me cry I don't know which side to buy Your friends have tricks when you act like them Just know it hurts I wanna be with the one I know And the seventh thing I hate the most that you do

You make me love you I do I do It's Miley, Seven Things on ZM, Fleet to Winnemaggin, my pick for Friday flashback. Do I want to know how well it's been received? Absolute banger. They couldn't get out of the car

until it's finished. See you, have a good day. Oh, that was real cute. You have a good day too. That's all you need. Bye. Bye. Bye day. Oh, that was real cute. You have a good day too. That's all you need. Bye. Bye. Bye.

And I hope that right now they're like, bye. No, no, you go bye. Bye. Bye. Oh, that's all I need. Stop there. Job is done. I'm surprised I know all the words to this 13-year-old me is jamming right now.

Yeah. Someone said, Friday's not going to get better than this. I might turn around and go home. Do it. Oh, overwhelming now. Yeah. Someone said, Friday's not going to get better than this. I might turn around and go home. Yep. Do it. Oh, overwhelming success. Wow. Someone said,

this song is trash. Someone else said, this is complete garbage. That says more about them. Yeah, I think so too. If you don't like Miley, somebody said, who chose this song?

I will be emailing Ross Boss to make sure this is mentioned in your annual performance review this year. We don't have those. Ross Boss loves Miley. We just leave, babe. He's huge Miley fan. He's like, well, guys, we've got to have a meeting about your performance. We're like, we're just going. Say whatever you want. We're just, say, bye!

And he's like, don't bye me. We're like, oh, bye! Get out of here. Bye! Alright, I know we had something written in Fletcher's OCD planner Of what's happening On the show

But it's changing There's change Megan and I I'm sorry I like to know What's happening There's been a political coup And you can call me

Frank Bananaramana Bananarama Bananaramana Born your Fijian Political references Are slightly lost On a lot of people They're very niche

Niche Well I tell you what If we had a good Political coup here Maybe I could make A local reference But everyone's too chicken Indian political references are slightly lost on a lot of people. They're very niche. Well, I tell you what, if we had a good political coup here, maybe I could make a local reference. But everyone's too chicken to burn down. Plus it's a coup. It's a political coup. It's a silent P, Megan. It's a silent P. It's 100% a Bananarama coup.

It's a Bananarama coup. Okay, should we play the intro? We've made this intro, by the way, and I think this is a cracking intro. He's going to be angry. Why do I feel all eyes are on me? They are going to be because yesterday something happened at work and Fletch went on and on and on and on about it, as he does when something annoys him.

So we've got an airport security. Don't get me started on airport. That could very well be another episode. Because the thing is, they're not surprised every day. Those planes are on a schedule and they're always there. This is a great example. This is a great example of why this feature is called Don't Get Fletch Started.

Don't get fletched started. Don't get fletched started. Don't get fletched started. Don't get fletched started in here. Don't get Fletch started. Don't get Fletch started in here. Don't get Fletch started. Don't get Fletch started in here. Okay. How much did you have to play the Black Eyed Peas to record that?

You'd be surprised how cheap you can get a Black Eyed Peas reunion these days. Right, okay. No Fergie's. I ain't anymore. Okay. Yeah, Fergie's in there. We just pulled it down. She's coming. Right. Don't get Flet I ain't anymore. Okay. Yeah, Fergie's in there. We just pulled it down. She's kind.

Right. Don't get Fletch started. Yeah. Okay. Which is where... I see how it is. I should have shut up and not have an opinion. We...

This could be... Episode one could be how you don't like to be told not to get things started. Sometimes we get your opinion. It's just like, you don't need to go on and on about it. Ouch. Yesterday, the issue that kicked it off was the fact that somehow the work coffee machine... Oh, God. I'll have to never finish it.

Oh, I will. I'll have a go. Is this what you want? You can tell everybody what happened. So we get back from holiday and there's a work coffee machine. You guys have heard this. Yeah. How terrible of them to provide a coffee machine. You guys have heard this. Yeah. How terrible of them to provide a coffee machine.

Stop me if you've heard this. Monsters. Monsters. And they provide beans. It grinds the beans. It does grind the beans. So anyway, so every morning, this is like my routine. This is why it's getting me.

I'll press long black, the long black button. Yeah. And it would fill the cup up halfway. Perfect amount of coffee. Yeah. And a would fill the cup up halfway. Perfect amount of coffee. Yeah. And a long black as it's meant to be. Yeah, because a long black's a little bit of coffee, isn't it? Somehow, over the break, there's been like a software upgrade

or a machine replacement. Well, something's happened. And now it fills it right up to the tippity top of the cup. Who did that? There's no settings. I can't change it. Is the amount of coffee different? No, it's the same. It just fills it with water no settings. I can't change it. Is the amount of coffee different? No, it's the same. It just fills it

with water. Oh, so it dilutes it. It dilutes it and it's in there. You know who else does that? Don't even give me... Every time we go to BD! You're the same with this. And you go to a long black.

And they go, I'll have a long black. And they're like, what cup do you want? Large, medium, small? I'm like... That's not same with this. I just, and it's always me and they go, I'll have a long black and they're like, what cup do you want in large, medium, small? I'm like, that's not a long black. It's a little,

because you get, I like a long black because it's a little bit of coffee. It's not heaps. It's not a lot of milk. No water. Yeah. No milk.

Just a little bit, but you have to send them well, no, just half filled or small one. That's what I'm after. It gets Fletch wild.

So, yesterday, he comes back in and he's with his coffee and you want to know who to talk to about this. This is his next time, Ray. Who do I even bloody talk to about this? Who do I talk to about it?

Who changed it first time? Who do I talk to about getting it changed back? Who are you slinging blame at this morning? Weren't you slinging blame at someone? No, Vaughan said he saw a Snapchat of Bernadine Oliver Kirby from One News

touching the machine, but she just uses it like me. She was the one that changed the settings. She splashed out, I don't know how they managed, just got a Nespresso, their own Nespresso, for their easy listening coast or whatever it's called that they work on. Oh, yeah, they have lots of listeners. Oh, yeah, old people love Nespresso too.

Like, they'll just say, oh, we've got an Nespresso. The dolphins are reading, hey, we're so cashed up because we ruined the housing market. Like, we bought a house for $100,000 once and we just sold it for $1.5 million. That's mental. We've got so much money. We'll buy an espresso. Buy one for each room of this new

six bedroom house we bought. When we had moved out of the city because we're no longer in the workforce. God, we've had a run of it haven't we? We didn't even have to go to war. Our parents did. We heard about it. It sounded awful but we've had a real good run of it. Somebody's messaged in saying have you tried pressing the short black button there's no short black button is there only a long black button yeah but surely a long black's only

as long as twice a short play i don't know i don't know my routine's changed it's my whole morning's messed up i have to press escape now, but sometimes I'm getting out of the microwave and I miss it and it fills it all the way up. So you press escape and stop the coffee mid-flow, but then you're getting half of the... My issue would have been the diluted coffee, but now you're just getting half of the amount

of the diluted coffee. No, but the coffee comes out first. It comes out first. And then the water goes in. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I'm doing the right thing. It's annoying. Do you know, if we're talking about coffee here at work,

have you noticed they've released a new batch of cups? We've got these company-branded cups. Oh, yeah. And the last ones were getting all manky. They've released into the wild a new brand. And this means nothing to anybody apart from the three people sitting in the studio. Get some nice concave cups. Now we need a feature called Don't Get Megan Started on straight up and down cups.

No. Somebody said hold it down until it flashes and it will reset it. Oh, my God. It won't reflash. It's a long black button. I don't know. They just didn't stipulate what button. You can try that in this song.

I'll try it on Monday or Tuesday because I'll probably forget we've had this conversation and have a rant about it again. Yeah, that'll happen. We should next, on the next episode, do airport line security, because Christ, you can't tell me they don't know all those planes are there that morning. They know. They're all going to be full of people.

So there'll be lots of lines to open up all the security checkpoints. We've already tackled one issue at a time. Big breath. Put a lid on it for now. We should blood pressure them before. My wife's got a blood pressure machine. I'll bring it now. We should blood pressure him before. My wife's got a blood pressure machine. I'll bring it in.

We'll blood pressure him before and then give him his topic and take it at a reading at the end as well. Because they know all those people are going to be here. They really do. Okay. Some statistics. Good start when you can't even say the word. We always say statistics, but there's another T in there. Statistics. We don't always say statistics. Good start when you can't even say the word. We always say statistics, but there's another T in there.

Statistics. We don't always say statistics. Nobody says statistics. Please, you always say statistics. No, I don't. You say statistics. No. Listen to me say it.

Statistics. Oh, you're saying it properly now. Statistics. Chuck it in a sentence. I never say that. Chuck it in a sentence. There were some statistics from the Bureau. Oh, okay.

No, now you're aware of it. I've never said... If I carried on and said statistics... I think I would have noticed. Like when people say performance. There's no R. There is an R. It's not at the start.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So some... Now I'm adding extra Ts. Some statistics out of the UK... It's statistics. It's like tsunami the first T is silent and then there's a whole bunch

of other ones have revealed by women divorcing their husbands so it's specifically women divorcing husbands why they're doing it not the other way around you could use this for like

long term relationships or just relationships things to avoid I thought you were saying you could look at it and be like these are things to avoid that too

so they're saying this is why one in three marriages were leaned in a divorce they've obviously asked people Relationships, right? Things to avoid. I thought you were saying you could look at it and be like, these are things to avoid. Yeah. That too. So they're saying this is why one in three marriages will end in a divorce. They've obviously asked people who have gotten divorced and given their reasons why. They've ranked them top 10. Okay. So I'll start from number 10, the top 10 reasons for divorce. Money problems. That can be very, very testing on a relationship, I can see.

And there's such a huge range of problems that could be. And also if you approach money differently, like you're a spender and someone's a saver and it can cause a lot of conflict. Oh, you think if someone loses their job and then you can't afford your mortgage and then that leads to a whole lot of stress and stuff. Can't afford the rent, so you're fighting.

Number nine is household problems. Now, it doesn't go into any description, so... Got a drippy tap. One of our taps is dripping, but only when it's a mixer tap. When you leave it on hot, it drips. Is that the sort of household problem that can lead to divorce? And then he insists he's going to fix it rather than get someone in.

I'm going to Google how to fix a mixer tap. Can you not? You can't fix that. This will end up in spurts of water. No, no, no. There's off things under the sink

because it's with the same as the dishwasher. So I'm pretty sure I'll be able to turn it off and take it apart. As soon as you say I'm pretty sure. No.

It was a very... We went high end on the mixer, on the mixer tap. Because old James, our producer, his dad was a plumber. Brian, shout out to Brian. Great guy. He put my Nsyncorator in.

Great guy. He's a great guy. Well, he got me a discount on the mixer tap and the Nsyncorator, both. So just shout out to Brian. Isn't your Nsyncorator better than Fletcher's? No, your Nsyncorator's better than mine. Did you upgrade? It's my friend Ra that purposely bought a bigger Nsyncorator than me.

I think we've got the same in sync with me. No, mine's a few horsepower more than Vaughn's. It's yours. But Ra's is top, top end. Top end. Yeah.

But Brian said you don't need to go that high. That's just, it's just, you know, getting it out and waving it around just to be better than your mate. But I'm bigger than Vaughn,

so that's, we've won that one. Mine can swallow enough, so I've got no problem with it. Mine can swallow enough, so... I've got no problem with it. You can put a banana skin in mine. Number eight. And the top ten reasons for divorce.

I can do rice, eggshells, onions, and bananas. All the stuff you're not supposed to. I'm sorry I started in sync rate of chat. I kind of knew it would go down that track. Number eight is physical abuse, which straight up. 100% fair enough, should. Divorce. Number seven is physical abuse, which straight up. 100% fair enough, should. Divorce. Number seven is boredom.

So you'd like, that would kind of constitute falling out of love. You're a bit bored with them. That's why I like to keep my wife on her toes. She kept me on my toes yesterday. I arrived home, I'm like, this is me. I bought her some ramen dumpling soup. I'm not expecting to get lucky, by the way, at midday. I was just expecting to.

Lunchtime loving. No, gosh. Heavens. I love that you're like, I want some loving. So I've ordered some ramen noodle soup. You've met Sade. You know the way to her house. 1,000% dumplings, baby.

And ramen. Yeah. But then she's so full. No. Wow, good point but anyway all I wanted to do was play Fortnite

I walk in she's watching Love Island on the Playstation app I was like betrayal oh she's hogging the Playstation betrayal

get on the iPad go upstairs I know that's what I did I said here's your ramen here's your little iPad ta ta okay and dropped in with the please

so we're only up to number six. Okay, go. Number six in the top ten reasons for divorce. Women divorcing men. Misconduct. I don't even know what that means. Cheating, sexual misconduct. No, because cheating's up higher.

Number five is mental illness. So I don't know if that's, if your partner, that's tough on a relationship. That would be very, very hard. Lack of intimacy is number four. Right. We're getting into the top three now.

Top three reasons for divorce. Women divorcing men is constant quarrels, like fighting all the time. That sounds like a classy way of describing like always arguing over stupid stuff. Yeah. Because they say it's, everyone argues in a relationship, but they say it's how quickly you make up afterwards. Right. It's not the fighting.

With rum and dumpling. That's how quickly you make up afterwards. Right. It's not the fighting. With ramen dumpling. That's when I went to marriage therapy. You tried therapy? Did you try ramen dumplings? No. It's cheaper. Yeah.

And number two is infidelity. Yep. And number one, so the number one reason women are divorcing their husbands, do you want to have a guess? David Beckham. No. Okay. Actually, he didn't make the top ten. I would have a guess? David Beckham. No. Actually, he didn't make the top 10. I would have thought infidelity would have been number one.

I'm worried now that number one is video games because I remember that was one of the big ones a few years ago. Women were getting sick of men paying video games too much attention,

so now I'm concerned. It's not as specific. It's kind of like a... Global warming. Yes. For some reason, when she made that hand gesture, I was like, CO2 emissions? And then you were like, global warming.

I was like, yep, that'll do. But then I'm like, that's ridiculous. How would you describe the hand gesture I did? Like, wide world. It was like a tree into the world, man. Number one is different goals in life. So that was, the hand gesture was growing apart. Another reason it's good not to have goals. Yeah. So that was, the hand gesture was growing apart.

Another reason it's good not to have goals. Yeah. I don't have any goals. So technically I'm very fluid with my goals. Right. Like if she's like, well, I've got a new goal, I'll be like, me too. Like I'm just going to go with, I don't have goals. Write down your goals. Hey, it's work, it's working, isn't it?

I was asked to write down my goals once and I wrote nothing on a piece of paper and put it in an envelope and wrote Vaughan's goals on it, so at the end of the year I could pull it out and write down something I had achieved and be like, tick, tick. It's a life hack. You're welcome. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day.

Today's fact of the day. Another football World Cup fact. I thought we'd get into the business end of things. I might just see what we've got down this well of facts. Did you see people didn't expect England to go as far as they have? And people are like, this weekend are cancelling weddings and things that have been planned for ages. To watch or go? I think watch.

Because... And go. This is the lowest turnout of the English supporters, the Barmy Army, the football... Well, it's Russia, isn't it? They're trying to get poisoned. 100%. And they're saying it's because of the ongoing sort of

relationship between the two countries. You don't cancel a wedding. There's all kinds of deposits. If your wedding was on, like, an All Blacks quarterfinal or semifinal, you'd just put the screen up. No, I wouldn't. You'd have to. I wouldn't even do that.

But there would be people at your wedding that would want to see it. I'd get the DJ. I don't care. I'd get the wedding DJ to update if there was a try. Okay. Ladies and gentlemen, the Brighton Grove are about to do their first dance, but for everybody interested, All Blacks 22, Aussie 8. 40 minutes.

God, we're just in the halftime break. No, this is New Zealand, mate. Come on, I need. Only if it was a World Cup final, but then I wouldn't have booked my wedding on that day. That's the only way I'd do that. What if the venue was the only... A sports clash.

Yeah, okay. So today's fact of the day about the Football World Cup is of all the teams that have ever played in a World Cup, the team that's played the least games is Indonesia. They've only ever played one Football World Cup game. You might be thinking, how is that possible with pool play? Yeah. Well, this is before pool play.

Okay. This was in the instant knockout rounds. They qualified for the World Cup. They went. They got beaten immediately and had to go home. However. One game. Later, they qualified for a World Cup.

Yeah. But their first match was going to be against Israel. Now, if you're familiar at all with Middle Eastern politics. I'm not. I know Caitlin's very into it. She's lost. Okay, so basically Indonesia are a Muslim majority country.

Israel, the state of Israel. Yep. You know, they are loggerheads there. Yep. That whole thing. They said, we're not going to play

a country that we don't recognise as a country. We refuse to acknowledge their existence, so how can we play a team that doesn't exist? So they had to go home. And so they were expecting,

I don't know, some sort of rejig of the draw, and the football people were like, oh, sweet, don't come then. And then so they didn't get to go to another World Cup. So they've been in two, technically. But only ever played one. But only ever played one game before they were eliminated.

We've played more. Yeah, we have. Hooray us, because we went last. Because we went last. Well, 2010. Yep. And we had a whole bunch of draws. That was really great, because we were just like, well, we're going, we're. Hooray us. Because we went last time in, well, 2010. Yep. And we had a whole bunch of draws. That was really great because we were just like, well, we're going.

We're going to get smashed. But we didn't get smashed. Had some draws. Good. So today's fact of the day is of all the teams that have ever played in a FIFA World Cup, Indonesia has played the least amount of games with one game. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. A woman in Auckland is rightly furious. I've also been furious when being in a situation similar.

She went shopping. She's 35 years old. She had her 15-year-old son and her 10-year-old daughter and a couple of their friends with her. She was doing just the weekly shop, which, I don't know, I mean, the worst part of this story is that you go around to your friend's place and the mum takes you shopping for groceries. She's like, well, I'll drop you home, but first I've got to do the grocery.

I'll be like, oh, no, drop us home first. There's nothing to me benefit going with your mum. Would she want to leave you home alone with your friends so you could cause trouble? No, no, no. I'm saying, like, drop the friends off. Oh, right. And then, you know, plan the shopping around the...

Right. Well, maybe she couldn't. I don't know. You imagine going to your mate's house, then you get there and the mum's like, all right, we're going to do the weekly shop. You'd be like, what? I only came here because you had a PlayStation on.

I'm here to go shopping. So anyway, she's got a couple of friends. And with the shop, she's like, I'm going to get myself a bottle of wine. Well, she's just been looking after kids. She deserves a bottle that aren't hers. Yeah. She deserves at least a wine. What did you just say?

Stuff that. Okay. It didn't sound like you said that. I said, yeah, stuff that. Fletcher's eyes went, stuff that. It sounded like you said F that. Oh, I said, yeah, stuff that. Fletcher's eyes went, stuff that. Sounded like you said F that. Oh, no. Like you just had a momentary lapse of knowing that we were on the radio.

Oh, no, F that. I better whine. Whining is sick. No, F that. So she went to purchase the bottle of wine and they said, you've got children with you. I need you to prove, I guess, that these are your children. Yeah.

She's like, they're not. Well, these ones are. Those ones aren't. So, yeah, she got management and stuff to come down. But they said that's the ruling that's in place. That's so stupid. This happened to me over New Year's. I was with my brother-in-law who's older than me.

That's right. And he had an Australian driver's licence but not his New Zealand passport on him. And they wouldn't accept his Australian driver's as a valid form of ID to prove his age. But also, he doesn't look 17, 18. I mean, he looks great for his age. No, he does.

You know, much like your wife doesn't age. No, they're not ageing. He's not 17. No. Like, get a grip. Their policy is if you look under 25, they've got to ask for ID. But I don't think he even looks under 25. Ridiculous. But, yeah, and I had a massive argument with, um, what was the name there of that? I wrote through a countdown.

I can't remember her name. Good. But the thing is, she's doing her job because she gets absolutely reamed and probably loses her job if they have to shut down the liquor aisle for a month. So New Zealand alcohol law, the wording is that it is illegal to supply alcohol to someone under the age of 18 years unless the person supplying the alcohol

is the parent or legal guardian and the alcohol is supplied in a responsible manner. But she had not her kids with her. That's the issue there. She was the guardian of them at that time. True. She was the guardian of their galaxy at that time. So she could have taken that wine home, given it to them,

even though she wouldn't. Yeah. Or wasn't going to. But then you could argue if it was in their home and she was supervising, that's also a responsible manner. And one bottle between four teenagers, isn't it? It's like, not enough to get wasted. God, it's so stupid.

One of them was a 10-year-old, but even she's like... But it is stupid because sometimes they don't have it. Like, come on. Like your brother-in-law. It was an Australian driver's license. Get a grip. That's enough. Yeah.

Come on. He's like 30-something. Yeah. Like... I know. It's so hard when you get ID'd all the time. Like, I have to make sure that I take my driver's license in. Otherwise, like...

Megan, when did this last happen? Well, not that long ago. You... It's because she's with Andrew I know He looks very young We both have to have our ID otherwise they're like

no, you might be providing to this minor Oh my god, thank you That's my husband How do we know your nephew's not going to get OTP on it tonight? That's actually my husband It's my husband, thank you No confirmation via text or we haven't heard from anybody in Wellington saying that the southern right whale has been spotted

in the Wellington harbour again this morning. I'm just looking for the most recent news update, but overnight everything's been quiet. Now, I mean, as much as I love having the whale hanging around, it could be good news for the weekend, the Matariki fireworks display, because that at the moment is a bit 50-50. They might have to postpone that if the whale

is still in the harbour. You know I love fireworks. And whales. But I love whales more. I'd be happy to forego the fireworks if you have it later when the whale chooses to leave. But at the moment, surely enjoy the thing that we can't schedule.

It might be too late, but, you know, it's been 4th of July in America yesterday, and they love their fireworks. In fact, do you remember that time I stopped at a fireworks warehouse? Because some of the states, it's 24-7, 365. You can get fireworks anywhere. Oh, I thought, but the majority of which just sell it for 4th of July, right? No, year-round. Oh.

People just like let them off. Seems irresponsible. It's like, you know, if West Auckland was like a whole state, a country, a state and a country. It sounds wonderful. Yeah. It's like that. Does it? Sounds like the sort of place I'd like to live.

They have these giant pyrotechnic fireworks places like on the side of freeways. So I just pulled over and just had a look. I was like, oh my God, this is insane. Are they expensive? Nah, just like going to the warehouse or wherever when it's fireworks time. Anyway, Banff in Canada

this year, because they deal with a lot of obviously wildlife and it's a beautiful area. They, this year, launched quieter fireworks because of the animals. What? We don't need the bangs.

They don't have the bangs. They just have the lights. They go up and it's just lights. Do you not need the bang? Is the bang part of the fun of it? I would have thought the bang made it go. I just thought there was a sound of it like exploding. No, because it would be different.

It would be different. Oh, maybe the bang like blows it out a bit more as well. Maybe the explosion that causes the bang also propels the magnesium stuff that lights up real bright outwards. Because surely you can't have those big ones at displays that go boom without a bang. Surely.

It would depend on what they, if they were propelled upwards by compressed air versus explosive gunpowder. I don't know how it works. I don't know about fireworks. But yeah, apparently that's a thing. And they've started it this 4th of July. Animals, to me, animals are more important than fireworks. So that's good they're doing that.

But then also Wellington as well. Wait till the whales lift. Till the whales gone. Yeah. Okay. Well, I guess I'll make a call on that tomorrow, the fireworks display. ZDM's Fletch, Vaughn and Megan.

The podcast. For more, catch them every weekday from 6. on that tomorrow, the fireworks display.