ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Megan Podcast - July 10 2018

Episode Date: July 9, 2018

The return of Am I a Bad Person, Community Notices and did you have a bad school building?See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is the Fletch, Vaughan and Megan podcast, thanks to Spark. You can stay connected with free Wi-Fi, a gig a day, on the $19 Spark prepaid rollover pack. Enjoy. ZDM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. Thanks, Anya. Good morning. Welcome to the show. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. Great news about the rescue overnight. Wait, did you guys wake up to like a million news notifications? Yeah.

Nah, ten news notifications off, remember? Oh, that's right. Vaughan doesn't. That's great because I'm not alerted every time Auckland Airport has a door that won't shut. Oh, breaking news. A dog's been seen. Yeah, it gets a bit much, doesn't it? I think we just need to re-evaluate what constitutes breaking news.

But then you miss out because the other day, what, you didn't know something. And I was like, how do you not know this? It's been like news for the last five hours. You can't even remember what it was, so it can't be that important. It's true. This is true. But it was funny this morning. It was like, scroll through your notifications.

It's like, a boy has been rescued. A second boy has been rescued. And every news organisation is sending out that same kind of notification. Did you see what they got one of them out in? That orange bag? No. Can you imagine climbing into a bag? Yeah, one of them.

I saw a tie. Like a jumpsuit. No, no, no. Like a body bag. Like a body bag. Like an oven bag. Like an oven bag. One of those rescue blankets.

It's obviously got a seal on it and they have an oxygen pumping in there so they can breathe, but obviously not too much as it over inflates and takes out too much room. And so the divers just pull the bag. Yeah. Wow. Get in. It's like that mini submarine Elon Musk had designed except plastic bags. Not your standard supermarket plastic bag.

No, no, like a heavy duty. Like a thick, heavy duty. Yeah, right. Survival raft. So the next, and you'll know this, the next, it's on hold like it was.

So the next one will be tomorrow or later today New Zealand time. Later today New Zealand time, right? It'll get underway. Right, okay. So that should be the final of them. It's a hell of a round trip for the divers to go in.

Oh yeah, so five hours each way, isn't it? Yeah, yeah. I don't like caves. How the hell do they get in there? Yeah. Even without water. In there. And like, you walk for an hour and you're like, oh, no, gone too far.

I'm done, yeah. You walk for five minutes and you're like, maybe I'll turn back to this cave. Good Lord. Wow. All right, you lot, listen cave. Good Lord. Wow. All right, you lot, listen up. It's story time. All right, I've found three news headlines online.

Interesting, weird, quirky, unusual news stories. And this is how the segment works. Vaughan and Megan pick one headline only. Okay. Headline one, judge bewildered as defendant plays with purple ball. Headline two. USB cable stuck inside curious boy's penis. Oh, man.

I found this story last night. I was like, this is a great story. And then it went viral. New Zealand news sites picked it up quite early yesterday, as you would. Was it in New Zealand? No. No, it was not. Good.

Thankfully. Good. No. Headline three. Airl. Good. Thankfully. Good. No. Headline three, airline bucks trend and saves a dog. These are the stories. So I'm keen on story number one because, yeah, I saw that USB cable and the pain. And I know three. Oh, do you?

Was it the French bulldog? Yes. Did they mouth-to-mouth it? They had a mask. They had an oxygen mask. Oh, yeah. They put the the French Bulldog? Yes. Did they mouth-to-mouth it? They had a mask. They had an oxygen mask. Oh, they put the oxygen mask on the Frenchie. Because it was having trouble breathing. Because they have a lot of inbred problems, don't they, Frenchies?

Respiratory. Respiratory. Because they're cute as anything. No time. You've got to have a lot of cash if you get a Frenchie. Yeah. They're like pugs. So, yeah. See, I don't like p cash if you get a Frenchie. Yeah. I like pugs. So, yeah.

See, I don't like pugs, but I love Frenchies. Can we just, like, just, like, momentarily go into how that USB cable. Okay, that's what I was looking for a USB. It just says curious boy. So he was like, I wonder if this can go up there. That's a very girthy cord. With 20 centimetres. I'm assuming that the end that you plug into the USB

was the last bit that wasn't in. No, he folded it in half. I saw the x-ray. He folded it in half and then pushed it up there. And he couldn't pull it out again. I can compare the girth of my urethra to many men.

It's not something that's ever come up in conversation. As a teenager, you often exaggerate your length. But no one's ever discussing how girthy one's urethra is. It's still wee pipe. That's how you used to do an STI test. They used to swab and stick it in a little bit, and it was just like... Like a really uncomfortable pain.

You're telling a woman who has to get a smear test. I don't think a cotton swab on the end of your doodle is going to be much to even compare it to. It had little hooks, eh? It was like a scraper. It was like a tinery umbrella. They put it up there and then pop the umbrella and pull it out. And now you just have to

Weigh into a tray Aeo technology Ours is like an umbrella too But it's closer to Actual size of umbrella Yeah yeah And then you have to use Like a duck bill

And inflate it inside And they have to use A duck bill to like Open up the Is that bad luck? Like the jewels of life On the vagina To open it up to

If you open the umbrella It's a bad luck Sorry about this This is seven years But the good news is That seven years, completely cervical cancer free. That's good. Great news. Yeah, he folded it in half and pushed it up there.

How? I don't know. Let alone why. I'd let my son away with anything. I'd be like, be what you want to be. But nothing would disappoint me as much as being like, Mom, I need to go to the doctor because I've shoved a USB up. I don't have a son.

And people are always like, you must want a son. And I'm like, no, because I only just got through teenage years not putting stuff up there. And by generation, we're getting more experimental and more weird. My son would probably be this kid. So I'm glad I don't have one. Right, okay. Well, I guess we've done that story.

Yeah, story, right? Or are we not? Are we not? Are we not choosing that? We've done that story like he did a USB cord. The wrong way. I need to know what the purple ball is. Can you just tell me what the purple ball is?

Okay, should we touch on that story? Okay, all right. Well, we go now to Phoenix and a Phoenix courthouse where Judge John W. Richardson. Yes. Was absolutely bewildered when the defendant was playing with a purple ball in the courtroom. Yeah. And this is actually quite a sad story because the defendant playing with a purple ball was a one-year-old from Honduras who was taking part in one of Trump's immigration courts.

Right. The judge said he was embarrassed to ask if the defendant understood the proceedings, saying, I don't know who you would explain it to unless you think that a one-year-old could learn immigration law, he told the one-year-old's attorney. Oh, my God. I know, this is sad. Then there was a seven-year-old as well in a pink dress who simply put up seven fingers

when asked how old she was. Oh. There was a one-year-old in court in America. Just have a think about that for a sec. And he was just playing with a purple ball, not knowing what's going on. Good God. Yeah. That's heartbreaking.

Yeah, I'm glad we talked more about the USB in the penis. Yeah, because that was weird. It wasn't like super sad. Yeah. What a... Done. They're not allowed to go to court, are they? Well, clearly they are.

God, America. Oh, I know. It's a hell of a situation. God, imagine putting a USB up your penis. Getting back to that. This is something that your mum or granny's going to do and you're going to be like, what are you doing? They're going to hear about this and they're going to adopt this

and give you the rundown on why you need to be doing this yourself. If you see your mum's car keys wrapped in tinfoil, this is why. Oh, God. What, the aliens are coming? Keep them warm for a little bit longer? So, there's a fob signal, apparently, and that's what people can copy. So, you know how people can copy, like, access cards and can copy like access cards and like swipe cards and We have the swipe card for work

yet people call it a fob, don't they? Like on your key ring. A frequency operated button. Is that why it's called a fob? Correct. Because I walked past a place the other day and they did like key cutting and passport photos in one of those kind of stores and they had a sign up saying we can copy

swipe cards. Swipe cards? Yeah, and I was like, oh, what? That's a frequency? Well, yeah, I guess they just take your card and then just copy it. I don't know. Yeah. I was like,

that's handy to know. Right. Well, you know how people are putting their cards in protective cases? Well, you know how, like, yeah, people are putting their cards in protective cases? Well, you're like credit cards. Yeah. When you're travelling, so no one can walk up behind you with a contactless pay wave.

Mum and Dad's love those. Yeah, but last week there was that story about how much it costs a small business to have pay waves. Like, these scammers that are walking around Rome tapping it on people's wallets, like, they're paying a fortune to have that contact technology. Yeah, their money's getting eaten away in fees. Bring up the bank, you're like,

hi, I'm a scammer that goes around popular Italian landmarks using a paywave system to rob people. Gosh, I'm getting a lot in fees. Is there like a better account for me? Well, now they're saying you need a, it's called a Faraday bag to put your keys in. So essentially it's like a sandwich bag, but it's made of foil. So it protects your keys from the, like someone stealing your signal.

Just like those wallets you put your credit card in. Yeah. Yeah, right. But if you don't want to buy a Faraday bag, they're now saying wrapping them in tin foil is just as good. Just as good. So you know your mum's going to have like a little pocket of tinfoil that she wraps her car keys in. No, mum's going to get some heavy duty

tinfoil, like some barbecue level tinfoil. Sew two layers together and then fold it and run a seam up either side and have a little flap on the top and put a little dome thing. She's going to have a little key wallet made out of tinfoil. Or, yeah, like key tins.

That's a thing now. You get a little tin to put your keys in and your handbag. Oh, yeah. A lot of new cars don't even have. It's weird when you drive a car without a key, eh? Yeah. You've got a key for your car. I've got a key.

I was just going to say this is the way to keep the Honda from being stolen. Just have this key. Do you have a key for your car? Yeah. Your new car? Yeah, a little pop-out key. Oh, yes, I like those. I've had rentals and then, like, you don't know where to put the key.

You just, like... You just put it in the little... Yeah, it's annoying. Yeah, it's weird, eh? Yeah. Because if your key goes in the keyhole, you always know where it is. Yeah, exactly. But you've got to get out of the key and did you put it in there?

Did you put it there? Did you put it in the sun glass thing? Yeah, it's annoying. But you know those new Elon Musk, like the Teslas, they just unlock with your phone. So if you have your phone on you, as you get close to it, it just unlocks. Oh, no, I don't like that.

Because you leave your phone behind. No, but then it tells you that you haven't got your phone. If you were like leaving the house and it's not unlocking, you're like, I've forgotten my phone. Because otherwise your phone would always be on you. But what if your phone runs out of battery and you need to charge your phone by getting into your car and plugging it into the phone charger, but you can't because you can't get in.

This is why I'm saying just put a chip in me. Just chip me. I don't care. Then I like swipe on my car. Then I need a fancy car. Yeah. Yeah. Then when you run your mouth about future governments, they've got the chip in you. They know where you are. They'll just explode your wrist. Explode the chip. Yeah. Yeah. Then when you run your mouth about future governments, they've got the chip in you. They know where you are. They'll just explode your wrist.

Explode the chip. Yeah. And you won't have a hand. FVM, the podcast. The Top Six with Vaughan Smith. Hello and welcome to The Top Six. It is the Top Six features of the new Air Force planes. These are the new...

Oh, shit, I didn't write down what they were called. Yes, I did. Poseidon. Yes, Poseidons. The Boeing P-8 Poseidons. We're dropping $2.3 billion on these bad boys. And do you know what? This is good news for you, Megan,

because they can drop bombs that destroy submarines. Why is that good news for me? We've got a plane. We've finally got planes that can drop bombs. Yeah. Have you thought about that? That's exciting. They've got harpoon anti-ship missiles.

So they just drop them and these missiles just go straight down and blow through ships. But why do we need that? I always think if we're just like defenceless and innocent, no one will come after us. Like the whales that are being hunted in the South Pacific. I know, you think about all that.

They drop a bomb through a Japanese whaling Pacific. Wouldn't it be nice to drop a bomb through a Japanese whaling ship on there? Even if it didn't explode. Even if it just went into the ship and then a flag came out

like the old bang on a fake gun except it was like next time. Yeah. Next time blow them out of the water. It'll be worth

all those oil slicks in Antarctica. I don't know if we want to go to war with Japan. There's a history there. It'll be worth all those oil slicks in Antarctica. I don't know if we want to go to war with Japan. There's a history there. We might be biting off more than we can chew. You know?

But the good news is for you though because they can drop bombs they have to go to Ohakia. They have to be based in Ohakia. Not my house. Yeah.

Thank God for that. Yeah. So they'll probably just turn that into a commercial airport so you have more planes. Seriously, sometimes they come in so low

I'm like, actually this time they're going to hit me. So they're replacing six of the Orions. They're a maritime patrol aircraft. Those are the ones you hear currently. And New Zealand owns those and they've been in operation since the 1960s. Oh, my God. Are they that old? Yeah.

God, no wonder they're always breaking down. I know, so apparently they've spent $320 million on them, $360 million on them in the last 10 years. God, we bought a lemon. Maintenance. We did buy a lemon. Yeah, I know. Is there not a website where you can go on

and put the registration in and be like... We bought the Volkswagen Golf. Oh my God. Of Maritime Rescue Crafts. We've all got one of those friends. Ours is Anya who buys a car and you're like, don't buy that. It'll be breaking down. The parts are very expensive.

The Demio going well? Is the Demio? Yeah, it's all right. Yeah, it's all right. It's all right. It did break down, I'll give you that, but it only cost $3.50 to repair. So the Orions have got an expected operational life to 2025. So there might be a while, you know, when you buy a new car,

but you've still got your old car? Yep. There might be a little bit of that. So we'll just park them out on the driveway, because we're not worried if they get stolen so much. Just leave the keys in it. The top six features of these new planes that we're dropping $2.3 billion on. Number six, a backing camera. Long gone are the days of having to crane our necks around

and the Orions went backing down the driveway. And they've even got those sensors so when you're about to hit another car, another plane in the plane park, it goes... Mind you, I'm going to record this in our car. When you're backing, it goes... And I'll mix it to the chicken dance. You won't even know when it stops being the reversing noise and when it starts being the chicken dance. Number five on the list of the top six features of our new Air Force plane,

seats. Oh, so handy. Which sounds ridiculous, but we used to just have swapper crates nailed to the floor of the Orion. Yeah. Like a couple of seats for like the pilot. Yeah. But like the co-pilot just had to sit on a chili bun.

Yeah. And then everyone in the back was just sitting on swapper crates that were nailed to the floor. Because we just did it for a temporary fix. Then we're like, well, you bun. Yeah. And then everyone in the back was just sitting on swapper crates that we'd nailed to the floor. Because we just did it for a temporary fix. Then we're like, well, you know, why fix what's not broken?

And then we just got used to it. Number four on the list of the top six features of the new Air Force planes, windows. So good. So handy. The Orion did have

a few windows, but they blew out in the 1990s and we've just had some heavy-duty cardboard taped in. Yeah. Until we can get to Smith & Smith.

Because it's at your late, how long are they going to have it for? It's very hard to spot lost boaties at sea when you've got cardboard over the window. Take the cardboard off and you stick your head right out. In your face. Saw them. I lost my hat, though. So when we get them, do you think we can get the hat?

It's just I quite like that hat. And I don't want to cost the taxpayer any money by losing the hat. Number four. I know number three on the list of the top six features of a new Air Force plane is a full-size spare tyre because I'm embarrassed to say that when we got a flat ear in the Orion, we had to put on a space saver. Oh, no. And you can always tell because it's got a yellow ear in the Orion we had to put on a space saver. Oh no. And you can always

tell because it's got a yellow rim and it's a very small wheel. When you land you're just a little bit wonky. You're like put most of the weight on the other one. The space saver's not meant to have much weight on it. Land below 80k. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And don't drive on it any longer than you have to. Yeah.

Okay, we'll do that. Number two on the list of the top six features of the new Air Force plane seat belts. Yeah. Okay, we'll do that. Number two on the list of the top six features of the new Air Force plane, seat belts. Handy. Handy, handy. The old planes were so old that you didn't actually need them.

You know, if you're driving a car that was built before a certain date, you don't actually need anything more than a lap belt. We just had some rope that we just, if you wanted to, you'd take it around

and slap a great tire. Unnecessary, but these new ones, word has it, word has it. Fancy. Word has it. They might even have those five-point safety belts. I don't want to promise anybody anything, but maybe.

And the number one feature of the new Air Force planes, windscreen wipers. Because on those cold mornings where they had to take off, you actually just had to, like, scream down the runway with your head out the side window so you could see where you were going. Because we didn't have windows, wipers, or defrost features on the old ones. So just out the window

just again. All those amazing features. We're airborne but I've lost my hat again. God, I get through some hats, don't I? That's today's top six.

So there's a study that's been revealed that says depending on when your parents had sex, it depends on how fat you'll be. What, like lunchtime? Or did mum just had dinner?

After a buffet? No. Because you know when you're real full and you're just like, no. Now's not the time. Even me, I would jump at any opportunity. Sometimes I've eaten too much and I'm just like, I can't. So if you are made when dad or mum and dad are real full, like after a Valentine's buffet in the 1990s,

would that lead to you being a tubby? No. It's not like time of the day. It's time of the year. So the study has found that sex in winter produces children who will be thinner Because their bodies are better at burning fat Is it because in a colder climate, they say that in a colder climate Your body just needs more calories to kind of survive

Yeah, so people who are conceived in a colder climate Will be blessed by carrying more brown fat So brown fat. So brown fat is better than white fat. Is that like brown rice? It's so much better for you. No, it's that when you've even got a little bit of like padding on the stomach, but you've got a tan, you look more ripped than if you're the white version.

That's true, yeah. Tans can hide so much. I know. Before you go on holiday, you work really hard. If you're going on a tropical holiday. You want to look your best yet. You hit the ground, you're like, okay, I'm pasty. Yeah. But this is okay. And then at the end of the holiday with all the buffets

but you've got a bit of a tan but you've put on weight but you're like, I actually look better just with the tan. Is that what brown fat is? I think so. Yeah. No. No, brown fat apparently is found in your neck and spine. They've only kind of recently discovered it in the past like nine years. Yeah. No. No, brown fat apparently is found in your neck and spine. They've only kind of recently discovered it in the past, like, nine years. Right.

But brown fat is better, and it helps to break down white fat. Right. So if you're born with naturally more brown fat, you're probably likely to, like, be thinner naturally. God, I wish my fats would have a race war. Browns on whites, have at. The only place I actually want any form of race war. Yeah.

So this study sees people born between June and December because those, I mean, conceived between June and December, but that's northern hemisphere, so those are the cold months. So take your... No, those are our cold months. June and December. Conceived between June and... Born between June and December.

So take your birthday, minus nine months, and if that's technically winter or a cold month, you're probably going to be slimmer. No. Naturally. Not true. I was born in the height of summer, which meant I was conceived early winter.

I was like November. But it could have been a warm winter. You were in the height of summer. Oh, but I was premature, so technically I'm December. Oh, yuck, that could have been a warm winter. You were in the height of summer. Oh, but I was premature. So technically I'm December. Oh, yuck. That would have been Dad's birthday. Could have been a hot, dry March.

Oh, I've just suddenly realised I might have been having birthday sex. Is it whose birthday is it? Dad's. Oh, he definitely would have got a reward for having a birthday. But technically that's a warm month, right? Oh, no, that's bad. Oh, God damn it. I feel like the studies are null and void now

because we all drink so much sugar and eat lollies and cakes. It doesn't matter. This feels like a few hundred years ago when everybody just kind of made the most of their surroundings before you survived off the environment around you. Not when it's the middle of winter, but you can get bananas from Mexico for $2 a kg, which is madness.

How do they get them all the way here and only charge that much? I was yesterday, I was like, bananas of Mexico. And I was like, how are you earning $2? It's madness. And you put them in your fruit bowl and they go brown spots within a day. Yeah, well, no, I didn't.

I've eaten them because I feel so guilty about some Mexican farmer doing all this work and not getting paid enough, and then the banana's just going to waste. I'm not letting a single Mexican banana go to waste. Fletchbourne and Megan's Community Notices. Hello and welcome to Community Notices, a segment of the show where we have a look at what's happening on your local Facebook page. Your local neighbourly app, maybe something advertised for sale. Yep.

But maybe just one of those little community, this is what's happening situations. Let's pop first to the Franklin New Zealand Grapevine Open Sharing Group, where Brett has posted. And luckily he's squeezed under the letter limit and Facebook's given him a default background. Okay. You know, if you're running a short status, it'll put like a rainbow or hearts. Yeah. In this situation, it's hearts.

Okay. Which is quite fitting because Brett's after some feedback on King's Lodge Massage Escort Parlour down the main street of Pukekohe. How did everybody enjoy their experience? Would you recommend? Now this could be a Facebook hack

or this could just be a man who isn't quite sure where else to find feedback. People are reluctant to publicly post feedback on escort services, aren't they?

They certainly are. They're not just going to pop onto the local Facebook page and say Crystal was an absolute pleasure to spend the evening with. I learned things and I'd like to think I taught her some things too. So I don't know where you go for feedback.

Just word of mouth, I guess. Yeah, I hope that is a hack. Otherwise, everyone's seeing that, Brett. Yeah, Brett. Let's go to the Waiuku Grapevine just down the road, just a little bit west to Waiuku, where Dorothy has said, hello everybody, there's a dog

down at Massey Park, it doesn't have a collar on, and for the last 25 minutes it's been humping a pillow. How many minutes? 25. Because dogs aren't meant to be humping that long, are they Randy quick

hump the dog it's it's mostly to assert domination over something but like you're asserting it for 25 minutes

I thought this pillow is not getting the message come on pillow give us a bit of feedback am I doing like well do I just keep going or like are you into this

or look I'll just keep going until you say stop then, hey? So she said that the animal control has been called. Okay. So if this is your dog humping the pillow, go get him before the pound does. God, I wouldn't know what's worse, turning up at your work for the pound, like a dog humping a pillow or one that wants to bite your arm off.

Imagine getting there at the same time as the animal control and they're like, all right, well, here's a fine. Put a leash on your dog and you're in charge of getting rid of that pillow. Yeah. Like, seriously, we're council employees. We're not paid enough to pick up the doggy. Yeah.

Pillow. From the Riverhead community page, this looks like one of those advertisements of a local boot camp, which you see all the time on local Facebook pages Katrina's done a course by correspondence And she's looking to kick off the personal trainer Doesn't want to become associated to a gym So is just going to use the park bench

And this is what it looks like Olivia writes Struggling to lose the last pesky 5kgs And gym and diet not working for you? Well, I've got the answer. Campylobacter. In only four days, I've lost 5kgs and the weight's still flying out of me.

No gyms, no fad diets, just lots and lots of visits to the bog. Let me spread the joy of this amazing weight loss secret with a 30-day free trial. Come and visit me, hang out for a bit, and in no time, you'll feel the weight loss cramps and then boom, you're away laughing. Side effects, however, may include

crying, wishing you were dead, excessive yelling at your children, and blaming your husband for everything that's ever happened. Oh, God. Worth it, though, for 5kgs. But then as soon as you eat again, it's just back. No, no, I was being completely

sarcastic there. Food poisoning's awful. It seems like a good idea until you get it. Yeah. From the Christchurch, let's pop down to Christchurch. Transport for Christchurch Facebook page. This is, I'm guessing, with all the constant switch-switchy of roads around Christchurch, like the Hogwarts staircase.

One day it's there, one day it's not. There's a Facebook page set up. Now, there is an emergency water main repair on Colombo Street, just north of the Kashmir Road roundabout. This may have been taken care of because this notice came in last week. Okay. There is a 300-kilometre-an-hour speed restriction in place. Please try and keep it.

Now, a casual slip of the hand there. Yeah. A typo, but yeah, 300 km speed restriction. So just take it easy. There might be some surface water and some cones, and you don't want to be going through there at 300 k's an hour. Finally, from my very own Teotihuacan Peninsula Facebook page, somebody is wondering if anyone will pay her

to get cooties and nuts out of their kids' hair. I'm thinking about making a little extra money while on bracelet. That's home detention bracelet. Yeah, it is. Any recommendations of how to get some cash from me during the week if I can help? PM or comment me. Thanks in advance. Surprisingly, not a huge amount of people were willing to take their children

to a criminal... To the house. Yeah, the criminal's house. The den to have the knits plucked. When we are judging her, we don't know if it was light fraud. Oh, I don't know what it is, but they don't slap one of those on you for helping

an old lady get the groceries in her car. Unless you say, I'll help you get the groceries to the car. No, that's true. Unless you say, I'll help you get the groceries to the car and then you take the old lady's groceries, then you'll get a pretty sweet little bracelet. Those are today's community notices. If you see anything on your local Facebook page, screen cap it and send it to ours.

You can find us on Facebook, FVMZM. FVM. There's been a look into school buildings. School buildings. School buildings. It's actually hard to say our school buildings. School buildings. School buildings. It's actually hard to say. School buildings. Because I think you're going from that

ooh sound in school into another ooh sound in buildings, but it's the different. It's our Kiwi accent. It's school buildings. School buildings. And there's no surprise that this study has found, much like our flats and our houses, that they're not up to standard.

The best part about it is we were just having a chat in studio about our schools growing up and how they were super cold in winter. And then some of that too hot because of no ventilation. But no one ever thinks maybe in the warm months we should work on making them warmer for the cool months and vice versa. No one ever thinks about it. It's just like it's hot, it's cold, it's hot, it's cold, too much money. Exactly. So apparently one third of school buildings

don't meet optimum standards for health and hygiene and a similar number fall short of the ministry education ministry standards for health and hygiene. And a similar number fall short of the education ministry's standards for lighting, temperature, and acoustics. I hadn't even taken acoustics into account. What great environments to learn in and build future minds. Yeah.

Cold, moldy, damp, low-lit. And they don't make you sound good when you see Mariah Carey as a class. See, acoustics to me is down the list. Yeah. But does that just mean noisy? Like if there's noise outside, it just flows straight into the classroom. Which I guess would mean if you were doing a test

or you were trying to study or... There's always people at the PE classes outside screaming and yelling and you're trying to do a test. Yeah. Running around thin windows. That could be a bit of an acoustic thing. But then again, you think how much it would cost

if it were double glazing and all the storms. So we thought this morning we'd ask how bad was your school building? Yeah. What was the worst it got at your school? Because, I mean, I don't think we ever had anything like falling down or mouldy, but there were definitely cold, like, you know, those prefabs? Those buildings that just put on blocks and they're like, that's a classroom now.

They're like, oh, it's just a temporary measure because of the rolls exploded. And then all of a sudden it's got like full-time stairs and a concrete path to it and you're like, I feel like this isn't a temporary measure anymore. This prefab has become a full-time fab. Yeah. And it's not that fab.

Eulose at all. It's very, very cold. I remember we had to wait till like July for the heaters. So, like, it's cold in June, especially down south. Nelson. This was years before we were like really ruining the environment with extreme global warming. Yeah, and we used to beg the teachers, we'd be like, today's definitely heater day.

Like, please, please. And they're like, no, wait till July. We'll turn the heaters on. I bet the staff room was bloody toasty. Oh, yeah, would have been. Oh, please, please. And they're like, no, wait till July. We'll turn the heaters on. I bet the staff room was bloody toasty. Oh yeah, would have been. Oh yeah, of course. Scarves at the ready. Yeah. They didn't have to stick to the strict regimen of the chilly high school uniform. What about you, Caitlin? I feel like you'd

because you went to school. Where did you go to school? Timaru? Fairly. Fairly. And Timaru. Well, like primary school and then, yeah, Timaru. So primary school, like, we hardly went to school, I don't think, because it was always snowing and we couldn't go in there if the pipes were frozen. Because then, like... But see, like, that's amazing.

They're like, oh, it's costing so much, school days a year because these pipes kept freezing. All the pipes are unfrozen now, should we do something? No, no, no. No, let's not. But there were many a times where we were actually shut in our house because the snow was like we couldn't get out to go to school. We had a full-blown fire in our classroom at primary school.

Like we had a potbelly stove. That's pretty nuts. Even then, we didn't think anything of it. But we used to melt crowns and stuff on it. It was pretty legit. Could you get that close to it? The teacher would be like, oh, can you, hey, Vaughan, can you just go and chuck another couple of bits of wood

and a handful of coal on the fire? How old were you? Seven. But this is a real, that's it. That was a primary school. Yeah, we had 40 kids in two classrooms. How have they not shut that down? No, no, they don't have that.

They've got heat pumps now. Oh, okay. They still have fires. Right. But I couldn't tell you when the fire. We just have to burn the rubbish at the end of the day. And we wonder why the polar bears are all dying because they've got no ice caps to swim on.

Because Kute's school duties included the burning of all the rubbish at the end of the day. Oh, my God. Took a few trips. God, kids create some rubbish. Don't they? We'd love to know from you when you think maybe your school fell a little short.

Yeah, like, how bad was your school fell a little short. How bad was your school in terms of its buildings and stuff? I mean, it's sad but if we hear the stories... Let's have a laugh about it. I mean, what else can you do? Let's just laugh at it. That's what happens. They get to the

end of winter, they're like, oh God, let's not let that happen again. Well, what are we going to do about it? I don't know, have a laugh. Have a laugh about how cold we were a couple of months ago because we're in shorts now and it seems like a distant memory. Should we get it fixed? No, God, no. Let's have a laugh. All right, 0800-DARLS-NM-9696. It's actually pretty sad news. We're having a laugh, but, you know, behind the laugh or you cry. That 57% of the 17,500 buildings in state schools

were more than 40 years old, and that's causing quite a few problems. One third of New Zealand school classrooms don't meet hygiene and health requirements. So if you're snacking in a high school classroom or any classroom in New Zealand and food drops on the floor, leave it. Don't eat it. Leave it.

Five second rule does not apply. No second rule. Don't touch it. And if you're a teacher, you're obligated to say, ah, leave it. Leave it. Leave it. It's gone now, Timmy. Leave it.

Leave it. Leave it for our new rat overlords. We owe them our taxes and they like meaty sausage rolls as tax. Taking your calls and texts, how bad was it or is it in one of your classrooms? Someone said, for the entirety of my high school life, there was a block at our high school that never had hot water.

Which is pretty, like, I hadn't even taken that into consideration. That's some third world stuff, eh? Yeah, they had, like, toilets and stuff without hot water. Yeah, I was going to say the toilets. So, just wash it with cold? Like, in summer, fine and stuff without hot water. Yeah, I was going to say the toilets. So just wash it with cold. Like in summer, fine. In winter?

Oh, it'd be horrible. Good morning, Katie. How are you? I'm good, thanks. How are you? Good, good. How bad is it or was it? I went to a primary school in South Canterbury

and there were some complaints about the roof building standard. So the principal was up there inspecting it himself and he fell through into our classroom. Oh, there's nothing wrong with this. Oh, principal. Oh, God. Always stand on the nails. Was he okay?

Yeah, stand on the nails. I think so. We were too busy laughing. I don't really remember. I was quite little. Well, at least, you know what? He probably got a new roof after that. Yeah. We did. Yeah. Pretty hard to deny that you know what? He probably got a new roof after that. Yeah.

We did. Yeah. Pretty hard to deny that there's a roof problem when there's a hole in it. I've always found. Victoria, all right. Thanks for your call. Katie, Adam, your drama class was pretty bad. Yeah, yeah.

It wasn't even an old room. This is one that was built new in Whangarei for a drama class and it was basically an unlined shed, like a garden shed with a concrete floor, but bigger. That was pretty much our drama class. Right. Okay.

As a drama class, you've got to imagine it's a cave or something. You should be on the board of trustees with that line of bullshit. Okay, drama kids, we're building you this because we just want to make it as plain as possible for your imagination to flourish. Imagine the wallpaper.

Imagine it's warm. It's carpet. Thanks, you call our Adam Fran. How bad did it get in the computer room? Oh, it was really, really cold. Right. It used to be cold and then the teachers would just be like, oh, why don't we go to computers and look up this stuff today?

And so then they'd take us over. And then the computer rooms would be warm because of the old computers we had used to heat up the room. Just hug a computer if you feel cold. So they would take you to the computer room because it was warmer and everywhere else was too cold? Yeah. Oh.

That's so sad. Like. Just put a heater on. Two kids per computer. The more we get in here, the warmer it'll get. One of you type, the other one hug that big, what's those tower things? Those big towers. Yeah. If the fan on those broke,

heck, they'd produce a note. Some text messages in. I'm a teacher and my classroom is currently being rebuilt. Yay. The old room was infested with cockroaches, ants, and we even saw the odd rodent. Such big gaps in the windows that when the wind

blew, you could actually feel the wind and it would whistle. That is so sad. That's terrible, eh? Our school pool cracked just before I started high school. It was consistently put in the too hard basket, so it just never got fixed. When I finished high school,

it was just a slimy green lake for ducks to chill out in. Oh. But, like, where did they go swimming? They didn't. Probably a lot of schools go to, like, the local pool. Yeah, they travel to do it. We had a physics classroom when in winter there was a leak in the ceiling. So every couple of hours, the teacher would have to be like, hold on and go and empty the bucket.

Literally, a leaky classroom. Wow. That's so bad. Somebody said my college was so bad that in film studies, we made a mockumentary highlighting everything that was wrong i nearly got expelled for uh detecting for international students who shared the video and people back home saw how bad the school was they'd paid so much money to come to fair enough yeah we uh somebody else said i threw a glue stick at the ceiling in form one and it was still there in form four. That's a good glue. It's a great app for the glue.

It's a great app. You know, sometimes those ceilings are so high and the ladder's all the way over and the caretaker's office. Do you know there's one of those ceilings with lots of dots in it? Yeah. And you just look up in class and count the dots. Have we ever had a definitive number of dots determined in that? I would like to pull one of those tiles out.

Count the dots. And, like, number the dots. So once and for all, because I'd always get halfway through and lose count. And then they'd blur into each other, eh? Because you'd be staring at them like a magic puzzle. Yeah. You need, like, a little peg and you fill it as you count. Yeah. You need like a little peg and you fill it as you count.

Four in ten Kiwis do this, which is 40%. Not four in six, as previously discussed. What's that in a... 40%. Yeah, 40%. Four in ten, that's an easy percent. Yeah, I figured out the percent. I was trying to figure out like a fraction. No.

Four over ten would be two-fifths. Two-fifths of Kiwis. Just say 40%. 40% of Kiwis are doing this. They're turning up to work even when they're sick. How sick though? Rather than taking a sick day. How sick?

Well, I guess if you've got a cold or, I mean, anything that makes you feel under the weather make you less productive is when you're sick. You can go to work with a cold hard enough. No, but the thing is... The brunette is giving it to everybody else. I had a sick day the other day and she sneezed.

Yeah, but if she came to work and sneezed all over you, you'd be like, oh God, you're going to get me sick. I'd be like, go home, you'll make me sick. But she sneezes on Caitlin, Caitlin sneezes on James,

James sneezes on me, I sneeze on you, you sneeze on Megan. That's how stuff works. How colds get around. Then we're all sick. But yeah, it's making us a lot less productive. So most people will still go to work.

Well, 40% will still go to work because they either feel obliged to their employer. No, that's not the reason I come. I feel obliged to Fletch because I don't want to be told off. They don't want to let their colleagues down is one of them. Oh, there you go. No, but it's not really wanting to let them down if you don't want to get told off by Fletch. Or worried about job security. If you can come to work and talk, if you can talk

you're coming to work. We're not doing a hard job here, people. We're not digging a hole. And then every time the song's on, just lie on the floor. I always raise my mind when someone's not at work, but then they go out for dinner. It's just my... I know.

It's just the way I was raised. Or they just feel better in the afternoon. Or they do anything on social media. But I wouldn't do it because I would just be worried. I think it was growing up. Because my mum said, if you're home from school... That's you out for the whole day. You are literally not allowed to leave your bed

or you're allowed to lie on the couch, but I don't want to whole day. You are literally not allowed to leave your bed or like you're allowed to lie on the couch but I don't want to see anything. Like you're not to move. If you move I'm taking you to school. It was like one time at like one o'clock in the afternoon. School's almost done for the day. Yeah. She took me to school because I got off the couch.

She's a hard woman. She's a prison warden. Ruthless. Up and about are we? Well, off to school. I imagine she's got one of those... No, no, no. She's got hard woman. She's a prison warden. Ruthless. She's ruthless. Up and about, are we? Well, off to school. I imagine she's got one of those. No, no, no, no, no, no. She's got one of those taser sticks like on Handmaid's Tale where she's like tasing you into the car.

I had to go wheeze. My mum would make a great Aunt Lydia. Yeah. If she'd taken a different path under his eye, she would have made one of her just known options. Yeah, same with my mum too. Yeah, so what are you supposed to do?

Also, question is, what if you're not physically feeling ill, but what if you need a personal day? And then at night you're like, I'm going to go out for dinner and then everyone gets their judgy pants on. Yeah, so you don't take a day off work and go out for dinner and flaunt it.

No, but working's different to, like, hanging out with your mates. Oh, no, no, no. No, no, no, no. If you can't come to work, you shan't be socialising. Because you can spread your germs in your social circles. No, I'm saying if it's not germs, if you, like... Either way. Either way.

Or, like... You're not putting that online. What if you've got something physically inhabiting you? Or like... I don't know, like you've broken your leg or something. You can come in here. Or no, what if you're doing a job where it involves your leg, but then you go out for dinner?

Oh, yeah, no. And that's fine. You can go out for dinner. Okay, so when you're feeling unwell, just let Fletch and Warner know, and they'll tell you whether you can or can't go out that night. We'll run a service. You call us every morning and we'll tell you if you're okay to go to work or not.

And let us know if you've got any plans later in the day and if you're allowed to go out later. Yeah. We'll let you know. As by the strict rules imposed on us by Beverly and Christine, our lovely yet strict mothers. Even in 2019, you had a sick day. When was it? Last Friday? The Friday before?

Or Monday? Yeah, it was a Friday. Instantly, it was a Friday. I was like, okay, I don't want to see anything on social. All weekend. That's not her all weekend. No, it should be. Friday night, she posted a thing.

She was watching a TV show. I was like, no. Oh, God. No. She's okay to watch Handmaid's Tale. Is she? Oh, okay. Well, she should have been in at work. I'll allow okay to watch Handmaid's Tale. Is she? Oh, okay. Well, she should have been in at work.

I'll allow her to watch television. Is she going to be lying in death's bed watching Handmaid's Tale? She could have done the news. Although I picked something slightly more cheerier. No, but I'm always like, if I took a sick day and I was on a Friday, I would be reluctant to post anything for the weekend. I don't want anyone thinking I'm having fun. Now, economists at the University of Chicago

have published a paper highlighting how consumer behaviour and media consumption, blah, blah, blah, basically, what is a good indicator that you're rich? Okay. Or that you're well off? But when does this study, when do they take this back to? Because it's not only now, right? So this latest that they've just released,

the latest data comes from a survey and a study they did in 2016. Yeah. But it also goes back and looks at 2004 and 1992. So when a lot of people were bought even before. Yeah. At the things that you had in your home,

products or brands, that showed that you were well off. Okay. So 1992. Yep. 2004. Yep. And 2016.

Okay. I'm going to work out when it would have been best to be me. Like, what year would I have been the wealthiest by indicator of material possession? So in 2016, across all the data,

no individual brand is as predictive of being a high income as owning an Apple iPhone in 2016. But what's... Can they do equivalent like Samsung? Samsung isn't on the list. Right.

But it's hard because you can have, I look now especially, maybe not so much in 1992, but you can have a lot of these things by getting credit. Yeah. And you can get a subsidised phone on a plan. It's an indicator, right? So you could tick it up to credit, but it would indicate to other people.

You can get credit. Hey, I'm pretty wealthy. And I can get credit. And we're bought our phones, so. Did they, Megan? Oh, yeah, not yours. Some of us had to buy their own. Mr High Roller over here. So we'll quickly go through the 2016.

And this was done in America. So if you had travelled within America, that was a good sign that you were well off. So domestic travel. That's right up there on the list. If you even owned a passport, if you owned Bluetooth in a vehicle. Aww.

Just little things. Mine got stolen. Are you laughing at the Bluetooth in a vehicle? Because I've only just got that and it blows my mind. If you own a dishwasher in 2016, 69.1% is a good indicator that you're well off. If you own a dishwasher. I own a dishwasher. Oh, I don't own it.

It's the landlord's. It's somebody else's dishwasher. If you ordered an item online, just going through these quickly. No, Megan definitely didn't do that Let's go back Should we go back to 2004? Yeah I think this is going to be more interesting Okay if you bought a new vehicle

What's the number one sign that you were well off? A brand new vehicle A new vehicle No You know the second one on the list If you used a dishwasher detergent Followed by if you own a dishwasher How would you use a dishwasher detergent without owning a dishwasher?

I don't know if it's detergent for the dishwasher or just for your house. What would you do with dirty dishes if you didn't squirt a little something in the sink? I don't know. Just have my hand. I don't know. Just don't do the dishwasher. Okay, well I didn't own a dishwasher either. Followed by travel domestically,

owned a stereo in a vehicle, owned a personal computer, had an airbag on the passenger side that showed that you were well off, owned a garage door opener. This is in 2004, signs that you were, like, well off. No. Negative. I'm just going through.

I'm just, because a lot of these are American. Do you know, that's sad, though, because a lot of those 2004 ones, I still, I don't have. The 1992 list of signs that you were well off, the number one sign was owning an automatic dishwasher. Okay. Because was that when dishwashers kind of became a thing? That was the 80s and 90s were a pretty massive time for appliances. Yeah.

Followed by using dishwasher detergent again. That's a weird one. What is it with using dishwasher detergent again. That's a weird one. What is a weird one? I don't know. Using dishwasher detergent. Travel domestically. Owned a garage door opener. If you owned a fireplace.

A telephone answering machine. If you owned a fireplace. Yeah. Okay. A telephone answering machine. Oh, I remember my friends had one of those and we were just like, wow. And if you had a garbage disposer.

I never had one of those growing up. Like an insinkerator. Oh, yeah, but my modern letters put anything down it. That's the thing. It was because they bought it just to say they had one and they didn't want anyone using it. You know another sign that you were well off in 1992? You bought Kodak Film.

Kodak Film specifically. Oh, that's a false two. Well, I guess so. I guess that was an ooh-la-la brand. Right. Yeah. Wow. And then just using all these other different brands

from more American brands than we'd be used to. But I remember our friends growing up had an electric garage door opener. And now everyone has one. You're just like, big deal. Take me now and put me in 1992. I would have been pretty ooh-la-la. Well, we all would be.

Because you're riding on your... I would have been better off in 1992 because I was riding on my parents' coattails. Oh, right. They were doing well in 1992. Did they have a garage door opener? Yeah. Did they?

My parents still get out of the car and open the garage by hand. I'm like, let me get you a garage door opener. What do we even need one of those for? I'll just get out of the car and open it myself. It's a nice reminder that I'm home. That's what Dad said once. It's a nice reminder that I'm home. That's what Dad said once. It's a nice reminder that I'm

home. I'm like, is the house beside the garage and the fact you just drove up your driveway and not enough of a reminder you're home? No, you know, I'm home for a good stint because I'm putting the car in the shed. Oh, okay. Oh, God. What happens when it rains and he has to open the garage door?

He has to do it quick. Of course he does. A bit of a, you've got to be a cook on your feet if you don't want to get too wet if it's raining when you get home. You know, it wakes me up. Yeah. That or he'll just get out and run straight for the door. Right.

Like, leave the cars on its own now. Oh, right. You're on your own car. I've got to keep a South Drive. Well, cakes. I love when cakes are in the headlines, but more of, like, how delicious they were and how someone sent him earpiece. Yeah, cakes. I love when cakes are in the headlines, but more of like how delicious they were and how someone sent me a piece.

Yeah, right. Just a general bit of cake chat. But this is a wedding cake. And as soon as you put the word wedding in front of cake, it becomes a much more expensive cake. Or just anything wedding. Yeah. I'd love to charge you more, don't they?

Don't tell them it's for a wedding. Just say you want a three-tier white cake. For friendship. For a white cake. With friendship. With nothing on it. Maybe some flowers, but nothing else. No words. And then put your own cake toppers on. Boom.

Some money for your wedding. But a same-sex couple, a lesbian couple from Australia, we're going to get married here. Going to get married in New Zealand. Yeah. I don't know why. Maybe it's because we're a beautiful country. Maybe it's because we legalised same-sex marriage,

or marriage as we call it now, in New Zealand before their home country. Maybe they had a special spiritual connection to our beautiful little country, as we all do. But they approached a Warkworth baker, I'm imagining for proximity's sake to where they wanted to get married, about doing their wedding cake. And they ended up hearing back from Kath, who after revealing this and standing by her beliefs

to decline them, has since removed her Facebook page. But she says, hey, look, thanks for your inquiry regarding the wedding cake for January 19th. I don't want to offend either of you, but thanks for letting me know that you're a same-sex couple. Even though as individuals, you're both fabulous and amazing people, I must follow the integrity of my heart and my beliefs. Our government has legalised same-sex marriages, but it is not my belief that it is correct. Therefore, I will not support it and cannot make your wedding cake for you.

Kind regards, Kath. Kath. Just. It. Kind regards, Kath. Kath. Just... It's a cake, Kath. Just make the cake and take the lesbian's money. Yeah. Like... Playing devil's advocate, because you know that I don't agree with Kath,

but what do you say to someone who's like, it's my right to turn it down because that's my beliefs? What are you supposed to say to that? I don't know if it is. Well, it's her business, though. In America, it went to the Supreme Court and they sided with the cake maker. I know, I know.

They had to find the cake maker. The cake maker in that American situation, I thought he had to pay, someone had to pay $200,000. I'm sure the cake maker, there was one case, I'm sure, didn't the cake maker... But this cake maker that I heard about

made a far more mean-spirited stand and they took it publicly looking for the support. Because is it technically like discrimination? Yeah, it is. You can't discriminate against somebody based on their religion, their gender, their religious views. Yeah, sexuality.

Their sexuality. So this is discrimination against that. And sure, there's other cake makers and stuff. And people are like, you can take your cake business elsewhere and it's her freedom to say that. It's also their freedom to tell other people to not even approach her. So to use that whole freedom of choice,

it works both ways. It's funny because I went to find her Facebook page last night for the cake company that she owns and runs. And it had been disabled. And I did see a lot of people signing her up for gay porn websites. Oh dear. She left her website up with the contact Gmail address.

Oh, see, I wouldn't get a cake off her just because I don't trust the business with the Gmail address. That's my beliefs. It might be legalised here in New Zealand but I won't support it. I won't support a business with a Gmail address. Yeah, I know.

Like spend that extra money to get the business at the end of the at. Yeah, now I want everybody because I think everybody that listens to this show is fairly progressive, open-minded and sensible folk.

But I want you to be aware that the vocal minority are out there on this issue. And remember that Talkback thrives off this sort of stuff. And again, vocal minority. Well, it kicked off, didn't it? It kicked off on some Talkback. Here's some clips.

The lady who owns the business has the right to cancel any business. And I think those people are just making mischief. Well, they were Australians and she should have said to them, look, why don't you go back to Australia and get married? Because saying go back to where you come from is not racist. It doesn't have any history of bad intention.

Also, those thousands of dollars you were going to spend here, take them away. Take your dirty gay money away. Take your dirty gay Australian dollars back to Australia. I get up in the morning to take my little grandson to school and I go to switch over to our local news station.

And I'm not mentioning any names, but there are a couple of people in both stations that we're inclined. And I have to watch this and I can't watch it for long because of some of their comments, some of the way they act in front of people. So I turn it to something else because I won't be forced to watch it. No, I won't be forced to watch happiness.

I won't have happiness rammed down my throat by the homosexuals. The most upsetting thing about that is he's sitting there with his grandson. What's he saying to his grandson? Turn this tripe off. Happy. Grandson, I want you to know gay people are happy.

Not us. Not us. Miserable heterosexuals will be miserable and heterosexual forever. I didn't get the comments as well. Probably best to not read the comments as well. Yeah, but I want to remind people, these people, they're very vocal, but they're a minority. I've got to believe that. I've got to believe that people that say this sort of stuff are just, they don't have anything

better to do. Yeah. They're obviously not very busy. And they're calling talkback and commenting on stuff stories between the hours of midnight and 5am. Yeah. And getting upset about something that literally doesn't concern you. Like what someone does

with their own life is none of your business. Like it literally doesn't concern you who someone loves. Just like let it go. And you know she might be a private business and it's her right to decline business but then it's their right to tell other people that they were declined on the basis of their sexuality

and so not even to bother wasting your time approaching this cake maker if you're a same-sex couple looking to get married. Am I a bad person? Anonymous joins us for a little segment we call Am I a Bad Person? It's where you ring up with a moral conundrum

and you're like, does this make me a bad person? And we the nation decide. Normally I'm like, no. I've got very low standards. Your moral compass just swings around and around and around and around. Can't find its north bearing. Good morning, Anonymous. Good morning, guys.

Okay, now hit us with your moral conundrum. So there's a really good looking teacher at my school I finished school obviously a couple years ago And we were always sort of flirty But at my graduation ceremony We hooked up and went home together There was no cheating involved I didn't have a boyfriend, he didn't have a partner

But yeah, we went home together. There was no, like, cheating involved. I didn't have a boyfriend. He didn't have a partner. But, yeah, we went home after graduation ceremony. And this is two years later, but we're still seeing each other. So is it bad that I slept with my teacher when I was technically still at school? Sorry. It's just, we were having a conversation in my office the other day and it came up and people were outraged by it. I don't know.

I don't think it's that bad. But you're not at school now. You've left school. Yeah. And nothing happened when you were technically a student now. You've left school. Yeah. And nothing happened when you were technically a student. Give or take a couple of days. There was some flirting

and there was some texting. While you were at school. He could lose his job for that. You could be struck off. Could he? How obvious? He's 10 years older than me. Oh, well, we don't worry about age. Says the woman married to a man 10 years older than me. Oh, well, we don't worry about age.

Says the woman married to a man 10 years younger than her. Yeah, exactly. How obvious was the flirting and the texting? Was it just kind of suggestive or was it like straight up, you know, flirting? It was pretty full on. Okay. Like, very sexy. Okay.

Text messages. But so why is it a problem now? Like, you obviously didn't care at the time, and you really don't care now, but you're... It's because of the judgment that's getting chucked away. Because of the judgment from the office. So she was just thinking it's all good, but now... Other people are like, no, it's not.

How many people have you told before your workmates? Oh, it's not something that I am proud of, but... But have you told your parents? Well, they obviously know, because we're still kind of getting it on. Right, okay. So are you in a relationship with him now or just casual? It's pretty casual.

Right, okay, right, okay. Well, yeah, he's got a fresh batch of year 13s finishing at the end of the year. So he might be looking at... Don't say that. Oh, my God. Upgrade. Stop, stop. Come on.

Wow. Well, I mean, I don't think you're a bad person I'd say yeah If there was a bad person in this scenario It's him I mean you're fine now So just who cares right But like what if he does it To someone else at his school?

Like, it just kind of just worries me a little bit. Good one, Vaughan. You've got to think it, man. I think she was thinking it all along. That's how she called. Well, that's what I'm going to tell myself so I can sleep tonight. I guess after the judgment of your workmates, you want to know if you're a bad person.

Yeah, and I want to take, I want to take this to my office and say, no, it's not actually that bad. But, you know, like,

I think it was the age thing and it was the very, like, sexy text in class and it probably wasn't a good idea. Oh,

but, I want to know what subject, don't say what subject, but I would, I want to know. surely your friends say what subject But I want to know Surely your friends had an issue with this Before your work mates Or did they not care

Or did they not really know He's pretty hot So they were like Go for it Hotness trumps all Yeah right okay Yeah right Yeah

Wow Let's see Well we need to ask now Is Anonymous a bad person Did you get good grades for that class? I'm not saying. Well, she was probably paying attention. She probably earned them in her own special way.

Oh, yes. Okay, so 0800-Diles-At-Em-9696, is she a bad person for still having a relationship with her high school teacher, considering high school's been over two years? And neither of them were having a relationship with a high school teacher considering high schools been over two years and neither of them were in a relationship and nothing like he was married or... nothing physical happened before school... while at school how's that moral compass Vaughn? See I don't really think she's done anything wrong yeah he should know better, though. If he was Quill in the show, to confess this, I'd say yes, definitely.

Okay. 0800-DARLS-IT-IN-9696. Some early text messages saying, I know this teacher. That laugh. And it wouldn't be his first time. Oh. Oh, sorry.

Am I a bad person? Well Anonymous wants to know if they're a bad person because they hooked up with their teacher when they finished school. There had been some flirting pre-school finishing but then once graduated and finished a more physical

relationship began. And it's been two years. None of them have a problem. She doesn't have a problem. He doesn't have a problem. But a lot of people in her life, like her current workmates. Well, the more people that find out, she's finding more people who've got a problem with it. Just a bit like, oh, that's wrong.

So, is she a bad person? What do you think? 0800 DALES at M9696. You know, no one has texted me saying she's a bad person. Right. However, the other half of this situation, across the board, people agree that this teacher is a bad person. Should know better.

Right. He's in a position of power. Yeah. Anybody at that age, male or female, impressionable, and can be taken advantage of, and that's what's happening here. It's got all the hallmarks of a predatory relationship and grooming. Somebody else said, and that's a fair call. Somebody even said, there's a New Zealand education code of ethics.

And I've got it. I've got the PDF. I haven't had time to read the whole PDF. It's many pages. Many, many pages long. I would hope a teacher never says that. Yeah, that's not your defense. I've got the PDF. I haven't had time to read the whole PDF. It's many pages. Many, many pages long. I would hope a teacher never says that. Yeah, that's not your defense. I've got the PDF. It's many pages long. So long.

So long. I've just searched relationships is in there 12 times. Okay. But like collaborative relationships with the community. So this could take me a while to get the actual wording of that but they said that when they agreed and read the code, this is against everything in the code. Right, so he's in the wrong.

Yes. Right, even now that it's... She's not at school? Time, well, I mean, if it had started now, no, right? Yeah, I'd say so. But they did say in the code it says current or recent students. Right. You're not allowed to form any form of out-of-school relationship.

I thought once, like Like you weren't a student Anymore Then it was okay Yeah Obviously not Right So I can't believe

As she said her parents Know about it That her parents Are in any way cool with it Right So what do you think Is she a bad person Our anonymous caller

Laura What do you think Sorry Brittany I don't think She's a bad person. Like, if they like each other, just go for it. She's not in school anymore. Who cares what people think? Yeah.

I mean, yes, but it's the law. When she was at school. But, I mean, what was happening when she was at school, that's very dicey. That's, you know, all leading up to something, obviously. That's pretty, that's bad, but they're not at school anymore. So it's fine.

She's not a bad person. Are you trying to justify this in your mind? You're thinking of a hot teacher? Yeah. Well, apparently he is. What? Apparently he is hot. That's what she said.

Yeah. And her friends think the same. I don't know. Laura, what do you think? Look, I can appreciate a good hot teacher, but my moral barometer is absolutely exploding. I like how we've taken it from a compass to a barometer. It's up in the thunderstorms area of the barometer.

Yeah. Both of them are bad because both of them know it's not right and ethical, but he is like... This is Sega Master System 2, he has clocked the level of bad. That's a great retro gaming reference. Yeah, it's, hmm. And when she was telling it, I was like, oh. It's breaking the code which he adheres to as a teacher.

But you're in a minority to say she's a bad person, Laura. Yeah, well, she knows right from wrong as well. Like, technically, like, who is Ross Lady Texas? Like, oh, my goodness. You know that's not okay to do that with your teacher, right? Like, that's not okay. Yeah, but you're like, he'll get in trouble. You?

No, because, well, look, she's going to grow up, she's going to have kids. What if a similar thing or situation happens? She is not going to be cool with it. Like, she might be cool with it now, but later in life she's going to realise how wrong this is. Okay, thanks, Laura. Thanks

for your call. Natalie, what do you think? I don't think she's a bad person. I think it's more so that he is. He knows that you don't, you know, it's the code of ethics. You don't veneer kids. And it's like, if he's going near year 13, what's stopping him from going to somebody younger than him? Like, you know, younger than the year 13.

It's kind of, I don't know. Do you think it's, do you think it's weird that after two years she's still described the relationship as casual? Yes. Someone just messaged that in and it kind of got washed over when we were talking to her.

I did think about it at the time but then got on to the next point because it was a lot to take in there. But like, they're both free to do whatever they want. It's very, yeah, that was weird. Yeah. He likes them young. Somebody messaged in that in the 1980s a teacher got with the head girl the day after school finished.

They, you know, their relationship, they said, well, you know, we're going to be in a relationship now because there's nothing wrong with it. They're still together and they've got kids and stuff. And this was in the 90s. Wow. But it was obviously going on something before school finished, right? You don't just all of a sudden. Yeah. Yeah. But still together. Hmm. going on something before school finish, right? You don't just all of a sudden, yeah, yeah.

But still together. How much older would he have been, though? I don't know. This person doesn't say. They just say it was a teacher. Okay. So he's the bad person is probably the consensus that would come to. Yeah, yeah.

And that she's not. She's not the bad person. But should know better. Now. Yeah. Looking back. better. Now. Yeah. Looking back. Okay. Okay.

Dicey. Well, we've judged people, haven't we? It's dicey at best. It's a national sport. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Today's fact of the Day is about organ trafficking. About buying organs and then selling them. Is this like when you go to Mexico and people are like,

oh, be careful, you'll wake up and you'll be missing a kidney. Yes. In a bathtub of ice. You're like, has it actually ever happened? Whereabouts did you say what? I said Mexico. But I don't know if that's a thing. It's not on my list. I don't think it's not on my list of countries where you can sell a kidney. No, it's not on my list of kidney selling countries.

Okay. China, Costa Rica, Egypt, India, Israel, Kenya, Moldova, Pakistan, Peru, Romania, Thailand, the Philippines, Turkey, Ukraine, Vietnam, and Yemen have the listed prices of how much you would get for selling a kidney and then how much you would get buying them, how much you would have to pay for them in other places. I mean, we've all been traveling and run out of money, haven't we? Yes. Well, if you're in Yemen and you have a kidney to spare.

Yeah. Well, most of us do, don't we? You could sell it and you would get $5,000. US? Doesn't seem, yeah, US doesn't seem a lot. But if you're in the Ukraine. Oh, I was like,

that's all right. Okay. Well, just travel up to the Ukraine, which is a little bit of a drive from the Yemen, but it is possible. Yeah.

They are connected by land. $200,000 for a kidney. For a good kidney. For a good kidney in the Ukraine. How would you, can you test that you've got a good one before you get it out? Because if you take it out and give it to them, they're like, oh, this one's rubbish.

You probably have to do some tests. Yeah, they do. They'll test your bloods. Okay. Yep. Don't, whatever you're going to do, sell your kidney in Kenya. You'll only get $650 for it. Rubbish.

Rubbish. That's, yeah, not if you can get $200,000 for it. No. Yeah, you want to hold on to it. But if you can get a kidney in Kenya for $650... Yeah. And then go ahead and sell that down in Singapore or South Africa for that exact...

Well, in South Africa, you get $200,000. So you get a kidney in Kenya, put it in a chili bin, I assume. Yeah. Drive it down to South Africa, $200,000. Wow, okay. So you're making quite a bit of profit there, $199,000. I was assuming that I would have to use my kidney,

but I could buy someone else's in Kenya. In Kenya, correct. Put it on ice and drive down. I mean, it's a way to make money, isn't it? What a way. Driving between Kenya and South Africa and selling kidneys. If you were so inclined to sell a kidney or a body part

on the black market, where does one is there like a trade me forward slash kidneys? These organ trafficking prices and sales, transplant sales, these were all found on the dark web and the black market.

Okay. Because whereabouts they got the full price list from for different countries and different things. So the average paid to a kidney buyer, by a kidney buyer, to buy one is $150,000. The average paid to a seller of a kidney is $5,000. So, you know, you'd be thinking if you were an organ broker, you know, the person in the middle, the middleman,

you'd be clipping the ticket. Clipping the ticket. You know the good thing about cash sales of the black market? Taxman's not seen any of that. No. I mean, you've got to live with yourself. You're doing a horrendous, horrendous thing. Well, are you?

You're providing essential service. Yeah, someone might die without their kidney. That's a grey area. You've still got another the central service. Yeah, someone might die without their kidney. That's a grey area. That's a grey area. We've still got another kidney, Megan. Yeah, see? It's a victimless crime. Is it though? Because they might be like, give us that kidney.

Well, then that's a victim crime. That's a victim crime. Can you take organs over borders or is that like a frowned upon thing? Will the sniffer dogs be like, no? Oh, I don't know, actually. I don't know. I dog, sniffer dogs be like, no? Oh, I don't know actually. I don't know. I think our sniffer dogs can only detect apples and stuff. Manorins, biosecurity threats, wasps.

I don't know if they'd be like, hang on, the dogs are sniffing at your suitcase because it's found a kidney. I don't know. Anything to declare? I was going to put I had a Kenyan kidney, but I didn't know whether it wasn't on the list. It didn't ask me if I had any essential organs to human survival.

So today's fact of the day is you can buy a kidney in Kenya for $650 and sell it in South Africa, just south a bit, for $200,000. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Read this headline of celebrities, a celebrity couple, and I was like, oh, my God, I need to tell Bourne. Okay, go on. So Liam and Cheryl broke up and apparently it is because of Liam's Xbox addiction.

So if the rumours are to be believed, he was like playing Xbox all the time and she flung it across the room. And that was the final straw in their relationship. Sacrilege. So he was really into FIFA, Call of Duty and what was the third one? Not Fortnite.

Grand Theft Auto. Oh yeah. Call of Duty is great. Call of Duty is great. When did she chuck it? Have you ever played Call of Duty? Yeah I downloaded

the latest one. He only even plays the war ones. But it took me ages to get up. I got up the beach that took so long because I don't like

to play games because I get addicted. I don't like the shooty ones. This is why I'm not even bothering with Fortnite. Because I'll end up like Dawn and James. They're down a hole of addiction. We played some solid hours yesterday because my kids were away for a few days. You didn't even deny it.

I turned it off at 2 o'clock to go get them and spend the afternoon with them. I didn't. We just carried on through. And where was Sade? I wish she was watching Love Island. Ah, that's your game. It's a perfect balance. You're screwed when that's

over. I know. In fact, you're both going to be like addicts trying to wean off drugs. I'll be like, I need to do the dance. And she'll say, I need to see some stupid English people having dramas over nothing. Yeah, so

apparently she tried to ban him from playing it, and he was just like, that's not happening. So the final straw was when she threw it across the room. Wow. That's brutal. That's just speaking of Fortnite as we did. A primary school in the UK has banned the dancers from Fortnite. This is insane.

There's kids, real young kids at my daughter's school and after school they all run up onto the field and they do the Fortnite dances and I think it's insane. There's kids, real young kids, at my daughter's school. And after school, they all run up onto the field and they do the Fortnite dances. And I think it's hilarious. So you can get dances, eh? So if you kill someone, you do a dance? Yeah, you don't have to. You can do it at any time. You can do it at any time.

Someone could give you some ammo and you could do a little dance and say thank you. But you have different dances, eh? When the loading screen, you all just find each other and you do the same dance. There's heaps of dances. Because James was showing me a few that he had. They're really stupid. The dances are really stupid. What dances did you say were stupid?

We worked very hard for those dances. We worked because you unlock more dances. We put hours into the game for those dances. I don't buy the dances, but I know a lot of people buy the dances. What was that? It might have been the hype. Hype dance. Yeah, it was the hype dance.

Hype dance is good. Was it this one? Where you hop and you go, onepe dance. Yeah, it was the hype dance. Hype dance is good. Was it this one? Was it where you hop and you go, one, two. Yeah, it was that. See? See how stupid you look? That's cool. The kids are pretty impressed that Dad can do that one.

It is pretty cool. It's flossing that's been banned. This primary school teacher said that some of the more aggressive children surround other children and do the floss dance. Oh, we all know flossing. But how much are the dances to buy? I don't know how much those V-Bucks depend. They sort of range.

200 is real low end, eh? 200 to like 800 V-Bucks. V-Bucks. And what? V-Bucks you're looking at. What's the currency exchange? It's not like super cheap. It's like 1,000 V-Bucks for like $15 to $30 or something like that.

We should put V-Bucks in the international ATM. We should. That would go huge. That's a great idea. We should put some V-Bucks in. In May, Fortnite made $318 US million in revenue. Yeah. So the end of the season.

In one month. In May. So the season's about to end. Yeah. And the seasons are like the seasons we experience summer, blah, blah, blah. Three months long. Yeah. Ten weeks long, about.

And so much has been happening. Like different little parts of the game have been disappearing and appearing in real life. Like Durr Burger is in the game. It was a burger restaurant. And the big burger off the top disappeared and it appeared in the desert in the US. Now, I don't believe that actually came from the game,

but that's stellar marketing. Great marketing. Great marketing. It is. All right, 13 to 9. Coming up, science has revealed the type of man a woman should marry. Here we go, Katie. Here we go.

Here we go. I guess if you're already married, you can look at your man and be like, I already know. Tall, rich, and loves his family. Wrong, wrong, wrong. Big hands. Yeah, I like big hands. So it makes you feel like you've got little hands?

Well, yeah, because I've got big hands. Very manly. I've got a lot of criteria. Do you want me to go through all of it? They've just got to have bigger hands than you And you've got big hands But like rough hands I don't know

But not too rough Okay look Clean rough hands You're wrong You're wrong wrong wrong On all accounts Let's see what it is next So researchers have revealed

What kind of man Women need to marry Okay Need to marry Kind of. Need to marry? Kind of. Or want to marry? Need to marry. Because as my mum used to say,

need and wanted to. Need to marry if they want to. Want to marry if they need to. Something like that. So this has come about because lots of women are freezing their eggs. So women who are like

maybe in their 30s and they're not in a relationship and they're like, okay, well, they always say like 35 or whatever onwards, you're like need to start thinking about fertility. They'll go off if you leave them in the pantry. Just get an old jam jar or a tip-top container and you just tuck them in there.

Yeah, and you just put it in there. Wrap it in a cool, dry place. Okay, yeah. Hot water cupboard and a bowl of rice. Because I mean like people are getting married later and getting in relationships later, but, like, a woman's biology hasn't changed to the point where, like, well, I mean, a little bit. You can have babies when you're older. So lots of women in their 30s are freezing their eggs.

Researchers have now said, look, if women want to start a family, if they want to find a guy, you literally need to lower your standards and marry a dumb guy. Caitlin! Marry a dumb guy? No, because you want the best for your offspring. That's just the primary coding on us. You need strength, you need resilience, survival. But

fewer and fewer men are educated in the world. So women still want a man who is educated and intelligent, but there's less of them. Why is there less and less educated men? I would have thought it's easier to access education than ever before. Do they have to be dumber

than me? And I'm not because I went to school and I... God no, the gene pool doesn't need that. She's book smart. I am book smart. Really not street smart at all. It's book smart. I am book smart. Just not, really not street smart at all.

Yeah. It's because Fairleigh only had roads, no streets. So it's hard to sharpen your street smarts. But like, do they have to be,

are you just like dumb on the standard of dumb or is it? Dumb on the standard of dumb, I think. But I've always been told never to lower my standards

and that's why I don't have a boyfriend because I have not lowered my standards at all. Your standards are too high. But that's why I don't have a boyfriend because I have not lowered my standards at all. Your standards are too high. But that's your choice. Thank you. You're by no means

getting to the point where you need to freeze your eggs either. Well, I'm 28 this year. Yeah, I see women in their late 30s.

Much like a pack of ordinary eggs. You've got about three or four weeks. No, you've got like 10 years before you even need to start thinking about that. But, like, yeah, there's least educated men, so maybe... I find that really hard to believe, because, like, what qualifies as education? Well, this is from the professor of anthropology at Yale.

What's that? Oh, yes, less people doing that. Sounds boring. But what about education? Like, people, you're educating yourself when you get, even like you get a trade. You're being educated in that trade. You know, you're learning what it takes to.

Yeah, I don't know what the standard is. People are more highly educated now than ever before. Do they just mean generally, like general intelligence? I don't know. Like you need to be able to hold a decent conversation about life and things with someone. Right. And if you can't hold a decent conversation with a guy,

you're like, oh, well, let's have babies anyway. Yeah, the ask conversation. Because I'm desperate. Yeah. Well, there you go, Caitlin. That's what you need to do. Yeah, right. But they could still be tall, dark and handsome with big hands.

This sounds like this professor of anthropology is not having any luck with the ladies. So he's using his education to say just lower your standards. Like, I don't know, start with me, for example. I'd like to. It's a girl. Huh? The professor's a female.

We'll all be damned. I thought you said he before. No. Oh. She, Marsha. Well, this says a lot about me, doesn't it? But we started off and was kind of learning about what to look for in a partner

but I'm really looking at myself in the mirror now. Yeah, aren't you? Why did I assume that that was a male professor? Have I got ingrained sexism? You might have. I'm going to need a few days off work. I've got to check myself into a sexist rehab clinic.