ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Megan Podcast - July 16 2018

Episode Date: July 15, 2018

Troye Sivan is in studio, Swipemares and what did you quit because you missed home?See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is the Fletch, Vaughan and Megan podcast, thanks to Spark. You can stay connected with free Wi-Fi a gig a day on the $19 Spark prepaid rollover pack. Enjoy. Thanks, Anya. Good morning. Welcome to the show. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, and yes, France FIFA World Cup champions. 4-2. I didn't know we had so many drunk French people. In New Zealand. I think if anyone's ever been to France, they can

tag onto that. If anyone's ever enjoyed a baguette or a croissant, they can tie onto that. Yeah. My walk to work this morning, a gauntlet of drunk French people and very sad Croatians. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Because you know they've never been in a final, so I guess, you know. But, yeah, it's exciting because they've got further than they Oh, yeah. Yeah. Because, you know, they've never been in a final,

so I guess, you know. But, yeah, it's exciting because they've got further than they ever have before. True. Silver linings. Yeah. And you're Croatian, so that's always good too. Probably going to be hot.

Yeah, yeah. I mean, there's a lot of hot ones of you. Yeah. And you never did anything like devastatingly bad in the South Pacific, like nuclear testing and such. So, you know. That's right. I've forgotten about the French nuclear testing and the Rainbow Warrior.

Yeah, yeah, you try to find that. You try to find that. Yeah, I think most of the world was going for Croatia, weren't they? Underdog. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But I'm kind of, can I say I'm glad it's over?

Sure. You can say that. I was done with soccer football. Soccer football. Soccer ball. Soccer ball. You were done with it a while ago. Foot kicking ball stuff.

Okay. This morning on the show, special guest Troy Savan, 7 o'clock this morning. Join us in studio. He's here because he's got a new album. Yeah, it's coming out soon. Yeah. Just a little New Zealand press tour. Yeah, not a full-blown tour tour.

Not performing or anything. Nah, but he's coming in for a chat. So he's in at 7 and at 8 o'clock this morning, a huge announcement. All right, you lot, listen up. It's story time. Story time, three news headlines vaughn and megan pick one headline out of the three headline one woman not expecting heads or tails headline two rest home workers arrested for duct tape care. In headline three, Santa ruled out as noise in chimney. So, I don't need to hear that scenario.

Story number two. No. Yeah, it's pretty grim. Someone was awful to an old person. People. Sure. Yep. Story number three.

Santa ruled out as noise in chimney. Yep. So, he's a burglar. No, is a burglar a lurrer? No. Not a burglar. Not a burglar. Okay. Or women not expecting heads or tails.

Which one? One. Don't Google. Yeah, why would she not be? Why would she? Are you Googling the Santa one? He's Googling. Don't Google.

No, no, no. I wasn't. I was. Heads or tails. You want heads or tails? Yeah, I think number one. All right, we go to Roswell, but not the... Roswell, New Mexico.

No, not New Mexico. I didn't know, but there is actually a Roswell in Georgia. Oh, okay. But nothing alien-y in this Roswell. The state of Georgia or the country Georgia? The state of Georgia. The state of Georgia has a Roswell as well. In Morica has a Roswell.

Who are all these Roswells named after? Was there a famous explorer Roswell? There must have been, must have been. We go now to Roswell, Sarah Webb. Now, she was pulled over for speeding past a Roswell police cruiser in April. Go on. Now, it's at this point where the officers are heard discussing what they should do with Sarah Webb because it was wet

and that also means that they could charge her with reckless driving and speeding. Because it's wet. Yeah. So, speed and wet and you've got yourself... They're saying, yeah, that they could charge her for reckless driving. Now, that's when the officers, Officer Wilson, Officer Brown, are heard discussing the woman's fate,

and one of the officers opens up a coin flip app on their smartphone. Now, an investigative journalist has got the footage of this happening, and the first officer can be heard saying, all right, A, arrest, head, and R, release, tail. And then there's the sound of the coin flip and laughing. And one of the officers said, that's a tail, right? And the other says, yes, so release. And the other says, 23, which is code for arrest.

And the other laughs, Michael Jordan, because that was Michael Jordan's number. They laugh and say, all right, so I've got too fast for conditions. for arrest and the other laughs Michael Jordan because that was Michael Jordan's number they laugh and say alright so I've got I've got too fast for conditions

reckless and that's when they charge her for reckless driving and speeding but her tails was not arrested I don't know

bizarre so the tearful woman was put into the back of the police patrol car like they arrested her yeah and that's when investigators I I guess, got on the case.

And they got this footage. And the charges were dropped at the start of the month. On the 9th of July. And now, obviously, there's a world of shit. Because, like, you can't coin toss if you're going to arrest somebody. Yeah, and charge them with reckless driving. Could you lose your licence for your, like, job? If they were speeding, why did they need to toss the coin?

Were they just mucking around? Yeah. Or whether they charged her just for speeding or whether they charged, like, arrested her for reckless driving. But surely you do what the law states, right? Well, yeah. Well, I guess that extra charge is up to their discretion. Right. But for someone that, like charge is up to their discretion. Right.

But for someone that, like, is just a little bit over the limit, has no... You're thinking about a warning. Yeah, exactly. You could have just been like, hey, slow it right down. Like, calm down. Not swerving all over the place. They weren't doing doughies or anything.

She wasn't doing doughies. But, yeah, they've since apologised. Police Department has apologised and launched an internal investigation. Charges are dropped. Good. Roswell King is who Roswell's named after. He was a slave

owner. He had 500 slaves at one stage. Oh, lovely. And we named a place after him. He came through there and he was like, I think this would make a fine place for a carton plantation. Because it was a creek to run the mill make a fine place for a cotton plantation. Because there was a creek to run the mill. They need to change these town names.

They're getting rid of all the monuments. Yeah. You can't honour these people by having a town named after them. He invented cotton gin. Apparently you can make gin from a cotton plant. I did not know. There's no liquid squeezes out of cotton. Maybe the stalk of it rather than the actual cotton. Maybe because it was a by-product.

I just don't need to go home and squeeze all my t-shirts. Or suck on them. No. You don't need to go home and suck on your t-shirts. I went and saw Ant-Man and the Wasp yesterday. A little later than I would have liked, but you know, had the week. Kids are away. Yep. Had a rainy Sunday afternoon. So I went to Ant-Man and the Wasp.

Got there. Booked online because I wanted a good centre seat. A good seat. Okay. No fool. When you're going by yourself, you've got to get a good seat. Okay. And then I did this thing where I went to pretend to book two more tickets

and book them on either side, hoping they would create a barrier. Did that work? A little bit of a, You've got to do it closer I did it too early And then Because what it does If you get it all through To the buying point

And then you click cancel For some reason It'll hold those seats For a little bit It'll say they're booked Oh right okay But I did it too far out So anyway

Or you could just do it Every ten minutes Until the movie Yeah Yeah That's true That's real dedication But then someone

Real dedication To not wanting to sit next to somebody yeah but then someone's just gonna walk up and buy a ticket and they're just gonna override you anyway but then when i got there and i was collecting my ticket i heard somebody say oh sorry kids can't go to the ant man and the wasp but one it's full so i was like my plan has failed right so when i go in uh and i sit down and sit down And on one side a family comes And I can tell the mum who sits next to me She's not going to be much of a talker to me

Because she's got the family She's going to be concentrating on them She did however have two bags of groceries to eat in there Really? Are you judging? No, no, no I was like great that you pre-prepared your snack But I can definitely smell hot pizza.

Like hot food. Oh, no. And also, they were single-use plastic bags. I would have used those reusable ones if I was going to take a hot pizza. I don't know why the heat in the single-use plastic probably doesn't. But yeah, they had hot food, which I thought was great preparation. They had endless snacks that was mum dad

and two kids it's bad enough even just going with one person and shouting all the Maltesers in the food it's like $400 you've got to cater yourself

this was a full picnic BYO scenario yeah right okay and so they sat down they were fine apart from the hot food and then on my other side

there was the seats were empty and then the first ad started playing. I was like, I'm good. I'm going to have a... And if no one's here when it starts, I'm going to shuffle a long one. Just give everybody some freedom. It's like before a long flight and you see the doors open and you've got a seat

next to you. You're like, I don't want to jinx it, but I think I'm going to have this. I think I'm going to be the guy that gets the... Yeah, the spare seat next to me. Yeah. And then they load on the old person last and you're like, damn it. Oh, no. Anyway, they get put next to you. So it starts. But then a guy with his two kids comes in.

Yeah. And they squeeze right in. And before he sits down, he says to me, get up, mate. How's your day going? And I was like, oh, yeah, no, fine, thanks. He's like, busy morning or are you just, what's, what's, how's your Sunday been? But the ads are playing.

Yeah. Shut up. Oh, no, he's talking. And it was like you were at Bunnings or Mitre 10. You know that coming there, like, you're right, you're a bit lost. You're like, no, actually, I'm looking for something. And conversation starts.

He's like, how's your day been? Yeah, good. I was like, oh, yeah, no, it's all right. And and conversation starts. He's like, yeah, good. I was like, oh yeah, no, it's all right. And he looked down and he's like, get that coffee from downstairs,

did you? I had a coffee with me. I was like, yeah. He's like, just been down there myself. Do you know, coffee's cost as much

as beers down there. It's happy hour. Almost told the kids to come by themselves. I was happy to sit down there and have a couple more beers. Okay. I was like,

oh, how many beers did you have? He's like, two or three. Right. I was like, oh, how many beers did you have? He's like, two or three. Right. I was like, oh, you're right. Maybe that's why he's chatty. Yeah.

Oh, yeah, I think it was definitely a little bit chatty and then he's talking to the kids and he's like, are you kids looking forward to this? Like that, this volume. Are you kids looking forward to this movie? And then, you know, if you get there really early, before the trailers, they have the little local ads. There was this real estate agent, and it was like,

not a high-end ad for the real estate agent. Yeah. And it was kind of like a lot of people going, yeah, no, the guy was great. Yeah. Helped us sell our house. And then quiet bits and pictures of houses, like, low-end production. And in one of the quiet bits, the guy pops up with,

this real estate agent is an effing jerk. And people are like, oh. Behind us like, whoa. I was like, whoa. And he's here with his case. Yeah. I know. Like, you used a full F word.

Right. Okay. And yet the commentary went for a while. Here we go. Here we go. That's what you see when the movie starts. Here we go. Here we go. Oh, you would have been ropeable.

Because you would have been looking forward to that. He fell asleep. Oh, that's for the best, though. After a year, you know. Unless there was snoring. No, there was no snoring. No, no, no. He fell asleep.

But I need to go to the bathroom. And I picked my, I went on that Run P app. Oh, yep. Well, you know, it's the best time during the movies to run to the toilet. Oh, yeah. And I was like, excuse me. Excuse me. Oh, it's the best time during the movies to run to the toilet. Oh, yeah. And I was like, excuse me. Excuse me. Oh, he's asleep.

So I had to like step over this growing man. I mean, I still loved the movie. Right, okay. But, yeah, the whole experience was something. At least he had time to sober up over the movie before he drove home. Yeah, positive. Silver linings. Silver linings.

Always looking for silver linings An announcement over the weekend That Auckland City Council Have put aside I believe A million dollars To look into the What? A million dollars Yeah and this is only just to

Do the research and stuff I mean To get the ball rolling Yeah to get the ball rolling On a giant statue Of Papatūānuku The Earth Mother At Bastion Point. Now, if you are in Auckland,

Bastion Point is on the way to Mission Bay. It's a bit grassy, but there was... And it's quite an important part. There's a lot of New Zealand history in there. Yeah. At Bastion Point. There was a... What was it?

I'm trying to think of the right word for it as well. Occupation. An occupation. An occupation of Bastion Point back in the day. Yeah, so it's, you know. There's that big Michael Joseph Savage memorial up there. At the front end of it. And there's tunnels underneath as well.

Is there? There are not. Yeah. I saw it on. No, that's North Head. No, under that Michael Joseph Savage thing. Secret tunnels. There's little secret passageways. God, I love secret tunnels. I thought I knew about all of Auckland's secret tunnels Savage thing. Secret tunnels. There's little secret passageways.

God, I love secret tunnels. I thought I knew about all of Auckland's secret tunnels. I love secret tunnels. Albert Park. You're not thinking of Albert Park because there's tunnels under there. They want to reopen the Albert Park tunnel. I'm pretty sure I saw it on TV recently. Okay.

Interesting. Someone walking down there. They are saying they want the statue to rival Christ the Redeemer, which is in Rio, in Brazil. Which you saw. Which I saw like a month ago. How big is it? Is it one of those things where you think it's bigger than it actually is? Yeah, it is.

It's a lot smaller. But the thing is it's on a big hill. So that elevates it a little bit. Yeah, and then the photos it makes it look a lot bigger when you're up there. Right. But it is quite small. And it's the same with the Statue of Liberty, if you've seen that up close. It's on a giant pedestal. The Statue of Liberty is smaller than the Christ the Redeemer, I think.

Right. So they're saying what, 50 metres would make it about the same height? 50 metres is a comparison. 50 metres is taller than the Statue of Liberty. Which is 93 metres, the Statue of Liberty. No, the Statue of Liberty is a comparison. 50 metres is taller than the Statue of Liberty, which is 93 metres, the Statue of Liberty. No, the Statue of Liberty is 46 metres. Oh, but maybe 93 once you've included everything it sits on, but the statue itself is 46.

And Christ the Redeemer, 38 metres. But then it's also on the top of the hill. Yeah. Christ the Redeemer. So it makes it look a lot bigger. Yeah, that the Redeemer. So it makes it look a lot bigger. Yeah, that's actually the way to make it all look a lot bigger. So we need a big base. So does it go up on the hill or down by the water?

I think it's going to go up on the hill. Up on the hill. Wow. Because this could be great for our country, for our city, because it gives people something to Instagram. Yeah, more grammable points. We've got all nature and stuff, but yeah. That's not necessarily in Auckland City,

and all tourists come into Auckland. The majority of international tourists come through Auckland, flying in, being able to see it. Oh, yeah. You know, going out on the harbour and getting the ultimate gram. All the cruise ship visitors that come in, what a photo that would be. Yes.

Precisely. What does she look like, though? Very good question. Because I don't know what... There's only really interpretations. Right. Because she's a goddess. So there'd be arguments whether or not anyone ever took a photo.

You'd want them to do a good job, though. It's like Jesus. Do you think Jesus sees a picture of Christ the Redeemer and he's like, I haven't really captured my nose. That's my biggest problem with that. Yeah, but that's what I've never, I've never known what she looked like. So I've looked up some photos

and often in a cloak. Right. I mean, that's got to be easy. If they're going to sculpt this thing, you want someone in a cloak because hands are the hardest things to draw. Yeah, so her hands could be hidden under. Yes, under the cloak.

But maybe you want a hand like holding like the Statue of Liberty. You want a hand up holding. Or like reaching up to the guy. What's his name in the sky? The Sky God. God. Yes.

Because they were torn apart, so you're trying to like reach each other. Or something like thinking about seagulls. Where they can sit. Where they can sit as well. No, but you've got to think about. If you've ever made a cake or a a sculpture the minute you go out like this that's a lot of you've got to have a lot of internal work here structural right and that's a lot of money look i want this thing to look good but i'd rather it was three meters taller

without the arm you know right right right it's the sky father yeah maybe you want to be reaching up to him i feel like you do need to be pointing or something. Yeah. You want it to look epic. No, I think just the hands under the cloak, she could just look like, oh, what's she got going on? She's going to do something cool. Keep watching. Right.

And then the cloak opens a little bit and fireworks come out. Okay. Could she have a giant TV screen display On her front And then we could Like a tally tubby

For what She opens up her cloak It's like Time for Tally Boba Time for Tally Boba And the sun goes down And there's that little kid Going

We could stream The Commonwealth Games And the All Blacks games No but you'd be too Why We wouldn't get a good angle. We'll just put one of those in another spot in the... Oh, my God.

Okay. Seriously, Auckland Council, if any of these ideas sound good, we'll get in on that. I'd love it. F.E.M. The Top Six with Vaughan Smith. Hello and welcome to today's Top Six. Today we're looking into pensioners' playgrounds.

I'm pretty sure that Tauranga had one of these. Right. They've got so many old people. But then it got shut down because it was like someone took a tumble. Oh no. Yeah. Is it one of those ones where you can wheel a wheelchair onto a swing? Because those

for all ages, they have some of those in playgrounds. Yeah, those are accessibility playgrounds. They're a great idea. So it's like that. It's like that. I remember there was an opening and they had it on the news and everything. And yeah, it was like everything was quite low. Right.

And so they couldn't hurt themselves. And just like just activities to keep old people moving. Because that's the thing. Once you give up. Yep. You're gone. So they don't want them to give up. They want them to keep old people moving. Because that's the thing, once you give up, you're gone. So they don't want them to give up. They want them to keep going, keep active. It's a little strength thing.

Right. No flying foxes, though. No, flying foxes are surprisingly absent from the... Just getting your leg up when you're older on one of those things, let alone staying on it. Old people have no problem getting their leg over me, from what I hear about retirement villages. But the top six features for pensioners' playgrounds, if they're going to start popping up around the country,

number six, padding. Oh, essential. All the padding, lots of padding. Like I know we're, as children of the 80s, we're all like, oh, we used to just have bloody shredded back. And you'd hit that and you'd be like, and you'd be empowered by back.

Some of it sticks in you. Yeah. Get splinters off it. It was rugged. But old people, we can't have that. We've got to have full padding. Yeah.

The most padalicious padding that's ever been, and everywhere too. Yeah. Any hard surface needs to be padded. Those big pads like when you come down

off a pole vault. Yeah, like a crash pad. Yeah, one of those. Yeah, like them. They're a great idea. Yeah. And they're covered in that waterproof stuff. Yeah, so you can pad. Yeah, one of those. Yeah, I like them. They're a great idea. Yeah. And they're covered in that

waterproof stuff. Yeah, so you can watch the old person pee off. It's a very good point. Sometimes they don't know Megan, it just comes out. And if they fall off, it'll probably just come out of them. It's a very good point. Number five on the list of the top six features for pensioners' playgrounds, seesaws.

Because you know the danger of seesaws was that if you got banged, you'd go up over their handlebars and smash your face and smash your teeth when you're a kid. Well, the good news is all their teeth are fake anyway, so they'll just pop them back in. But what happens if Beryl gets off while... Errol?

...is up in the air? Padding. Padding. Lots of padding. Do they still... I haven't seen a seesaw in a playground for a little while. I don't think they put them in anymore. No, I haven't seen them either.

But remember when the cushioning was a half a tyre? Yes. Well, they just buried a whole tyre in the ground and left half of it sticking out. Yeah, that was a thing. Yeah. And you'd hit it. Bonk, bonk. Yeah, and occasionally they'd make a mistake and put like a steel belt or radial in and

you'd hit it and it'd just be like, ugh. And you'd always say to your brother and you'd always say to your brother you'd always say to your brother you tell me when you're getting off and then you'd get off and not tell him and then he'd donk on the tyre. That's classic brother. They had to move in three. Yeah. Or put your hand

put your legs up over the handles and this would be a fun way of doing it. And then they've got no control on what's happening and you're in total control. Then you get off. And then you get off and hold it and you're like, I'm going to let this go and you're in big trouble. What is wrong with us? Number four on the list of the top six features

for pensioners' playgrounds, recliner swings. So you hop into the swing. Like a lazy boy. And then it just reclines a little bit. Give them a little rock and they'll be asleep in no time. Oh, Nate. Get yourself some peace. Why should that just be old people?

Can't we all have one of those? I've be asleep in no time. Oh, Nate. Get yourself some peace. Why should that just be old people? Can't we all have one of those? I've seen the recliner swings and there's those ones that are like a big disc name that you can kind

of lie in. Oh, yeah. But then I get a bit sick because they spin around and I'm still not over the QE2 holiday park in Ohope in the

1990s. I remember it very clearly. We had an eclipse that year and it was the start of the Gulf War. See, when you traumatise, everything stays in the trauma.

I got put on and they had the tie. Remember the ties and they had three chains and it was at the top? Yep. And they wound it right up. And I was in the middle. I was like, I don't want to be on this. And then it spun right down and then spun back up and then spun right. By the time it ended, I vomited.

I vomited up because I'd been in the instant pudding eating competition. See, everything's still in there, traumatised. The instant pudding competition. No hands. You are butterscotch. That's why I can't eat butterscotch and pudding anymore. I love the bit of butterscotch. Number three on the list of the top six features for pensioners' playgrounds,

high-sided slides. Oh, okay. I've noticed this with even some kids' slides. If they've got a curl in them and the kids are a bit top-heavy, they can hit the curl and go over. So you don't want Nana going around the corner too fast and toppling over, even with the padding. That sort of speed and height could be bad.

Number two on the list of the top six features for a pensioners' playground, a defibrillation station. Yeah, I feel like that's essential. It's on really long, stretchy cords. Pretty much so it can reach any part of the playground. Yeah. Although, watch out for the metal slide.

Or are we using plastic slides? We're using plastic slides. Mostly because metal slides get really hot in the summer. That's true. And old people's skin's thin. You know, old people like, we were talking about it the other day,

they nick themselves and blood just starts coming out and three days later they're all bruised and you're like, what happened? They're like, oh, I just had a tiny nick and a rose got me in the garden. Is rose the name of the local neighbourhood pit bull? Because Christ, that thing's just bruising everywhere. And the number one feature for an old person's, a pensioner's playground, location.

It's all about location. Yeah. Maybe right next to a funeral home. Yeah. Sure. Just saving on transport costs aren't we?

Or next to Muffin Break. Yeah. Well Muffin Break on one side playground funeral home cemetery. Okay.

It's a one stop shop. It's a one stop shop for a bit of fun before you see what's on the other side. That's today's top six. FEM. Now, I knew this.

I thought this was a done thing. I've just been talking about it with people, the two people I work with. You know them as Fletch and Megan. So I'm talking to an auntie that doesn't live in the country. So I was talking to these two people at work. And you guys were sort of blown away by the fact that birthday cakes aren't a thing at preschools

anymore. They're not banning them. Preschools, I mean it's still up to the preschool on a whole I think. Right. But a lot of preschools have got rid of them. Yeah. Because of allergies. Yeah, allergies is a big part of it. So back in my day, the kids with allergies,

you got picked off, didn't they, and just left behind. The toughest survived. That's why we're so tough these days. Or they ate the cake and then just suffered. They're just like, I don't know what's wrong with me. Yeah, see, they don't let you have a proper cake. But actually, I never had a proper cake. We had Play-Doh cakes, but they let you eat that.

Yeah, same, same. Well, it's just salt and flour. Actually, that's gluten, isn't it? Yeah. And Play-Doh. It is, yeah. Soon they won't be allowed that. Maybe that's the key, because gluten intolerance wasn't,

well, I mean, it was obviously around, but it wasn't, you know, the high-profile situation it is now. Maybe it's because we're all getting a little bit of Play-Doh. Maybe Play-Doh is like immunising against gluten intolerance. I used to love having nibs of the Play-Doh. Is this one taste better? No. Still the same.

I never ate official Play-Doh. I only ever ate the homemade stuff. Yeah, homemade. I never ate the Play-Doh Play-Doh. We were too poor to have that Play-Doh. Same. Give it a little lick. Why is this in the news now though? stuff. Yeah, homemade. I never ate the Play-Doh Play-Doh. Well, we were too poor to have that Play-Doh. Same. So, why is this in the news now, though? Just because it's kind of read up?

Because it's a trigger. It's great for a clickbait. Apparently, Allergy New Zealand want the government to implement some national guidelines because it's still kind of up to the individual. So, no one can have cake? Yes, basically. No cake across the board. So no one can have cake? Yes, basically. No cake across the board.

So what can you not have? You can't take... So if you were making a lunch, you can't have peanut butter? You can't. Well, that's... Not at my door. Well, I'm only speaking from my experience. But because these kids all sit down and eat their lunch together

and like smush it in each other's faces and just like rub their stuff in their hands and then just like touch their other mates right on the face. Like this is why kids have a cold every two seconds. It's because they're, oh, I'm bored of picking my nose, I'll give yours a go.

I can understand because the nuts get everywhere. Right. How do we go from like picking each other's noses to like having all these social anxieties where we don't want to talk to people in public social media? Yeah, Instagram. And bullying.

At that age, it's kind of like... It's not happening. Yeah, but then when you get to primary school, there's the older kids who are like nine or ten, and if you pick somebody else's nose and then the older kids bully you about it, you're like, okay. I better not pick the other kid's nose. Yeah, so bullying is bad, but it also sets social structures in a way, I guess. Right. Because if there weren't those older kids there, we'd still be picking each other's

nose. And I probably think the world would be a better place for it if adults could pick other adults' noses. With their consent. Yeah. Yeah. If we could carry on like preschoolers. Yes.

Eating Play-Doh, but there'd be no cake. But then at my daughter's school, there's kids that have had their allergies and no one and they have their food separately. Right. And they can eat separately. Because it's like the real world. I remember talking to the principal about it and she said, well, in the real world, peanuts haven't stopped existing because of horrendous allergies.

So we set the kids over here and there's other kids who are allergic and they all eat together. But then everyone's like, why are you sitting over there? Because I'm allergic to peanuts! Imagine you should yell at any time. Why are you sitting over the air by yourself? You weirdo. Because I'm allergic to nuts!

Let's find something you're allergic to. Bees, is it? Why don't you go eat by the hive, you prick? I've just got to come out a bit stronger than allergy kids. Just come out swinging. Don't even give them a second chance.

Not a literal king hit, but a figurative king hit straight away. Very special guest joining us in studio this morning, Troy Savan. Welcome. Thank you. Good morning. Good morning. Thanks. So you're here to promote your new album.

Yep. How long do we have to wait? You have to wait till August 31st. So what's that, like seven weeks? I don't really know. I'm not good at maths. You're going to be in a movie soon. Yeah.

Tell us about this. Yeah, so it's a movie called Boy Erased, and it's about a kid who gets sent off to a gay conversion therapy camp to get turned straight basically. It's based off a memoir so it's based on a true story and I think it's going to be a really

important movie and a special movie. I'm so excited. I think that's really important because haven't we been speaking only in the last couple of days? Gay conversion is not illegal in New Zealand. Is that right? No, yeah. It blew my mind reading it there. Yeah, in the last couple of days gay conversion is not illegal in new zealand is that right yeah it blew my mind reading it there yeah in the last couple of weeks there's been a few stories about how it's not illegal in new zealand i just couldn't believe that yes we're quite progressive but obviously i hope that that's just been overlooked but it's quite important that that's spoken about because in a lot of countries it is still legal so what was it like filming that

was it quite traumatic it actually was i really thought um you know i just thought i was going to be like absolutely fine because obviously it's completely pretend and yeah and it's not a real thing um for me personally but it was it was really heavy because like for a month i'm going to i only shot in one location um and it's the location of the of the camp and so for the same like for a month every day I was going to the same place and hearing this like you know speeches from the um from Joel Edgerton who's playing like the pastor who kind of runs the camp and all I could think about was like imagining that um I was actually hearing that for you know

as a 13 or 14 or 15 year old. And like, they completely take all of the sort of like responsibility and put it on you for something that you're absolutely not responsible for. You know, it's like, obviously, we all know that you can't change your sexuality. You know what I mean? It's like, it is what it is kind of thing. And for me, that was a really big moment of relief when I realized that for myself, because it's like, okay, I don't have to like, you know, I don't have to change. I can kind of just like move on with my life and start to learn how to, how to navigate this, how to tell my family. My set of concerns were very different.

And if you go into a camp like that, and the first thing that they tell you is like, no, there's no such thing as being born gay. You just have like this void in your life that you're trying to fill with these homosexual tendencies. Immediately, it takes all of this like guilt and shame and pressure and puts it straight back on these kids. And it's been proven to be like so, so, so devastating. The sort of results, people end up being completely traumatized. A lot of end up committing suicide. And it's just super serious.

It's like psychological torture completely completely yeah and the memoirs that it's based on when when did they take place like when's the set it was set in i believe 2004 oh my god yeah i was thinking like 1970s and even then i was gonna find that quite devastating yeah that's when it happened to the author yeah it was either 2004 or 2007. I think it was 2004 though. Oh my God. That's crazy.

That's a lot to take on. Yeah. That's a lot to take on. On a slightly lighter note. Yeah. If we may. That was cool. That was, I mean, ultimately very important.

What you've just said is kind of what the show stands for and it's supporting people, whatever they're going through. Something Fletcher's going through is, well, and me and me too right i got fletcher birthday gift recently much like you i believe you both joined babies how was your birthday it was great yeah yeah had a great cake it was a great cake it was beautiful but a gift that i gave fletcher's and he acted at the time like it was a great gift and he was so excited and it's been left at work the whole time. What is it? It's not that I don't like it.

It's that I've got a little bit of anxiety and embarrassment using it. I think he's a sheep and he needs a leader. What is it? We need you to be the leading sheep and tell him this is not only okay, but it's great. Yeah. Caitlin, bring in the granny shopper. And it's somewhat of a celebrity endorsement. Oh, my God.

Wait, okay. Complete, honest, first reaction is And it's somewhat of a celebrity endorsement Oh my god Wait, okay Complete, honest, first reaction Is that it's really chic Is this like Gucci? It's guess I thought it was Gucci too It's fake It's fake guess

Is it? Well, I mean No one really knows Because I'm an inner city shopper, Troy My supermarket's inner city No car And so I've got to walk with bags. And we're anti-plastic bags.

We're trying to get rid of the single use plastic bags, save the ocean. And I thought this was the ultimate solution. And he acted really happy about it. The trouble is I've seen no one cool using them. They're all like old people. It's got good wheels. Thank you. Yep.

Very smooth. It does actually have quite heavy duty wheels. I don't know. I just feel like if I saw someone who wasn't like a granny using it, I'd be like, whoa, dope. Sheep. Cool. That's all I needed.

That's all I needed. Okay, great. These are going to be flying off the shelves now. If I get teased at the supermarket, I'm tweeting you my anger. Nice. You're going to pull up to your concerts and everyone waiting in the lines outside is going to be having one of these. Just with like snacks and their fold out chair.

Hey, merch idea. Yes. Merch idea. Yes. Merch idea. Troye Sivan granny shoppers. Nice. Or we can come up with a better name for them. It needs a better name than a granny shopper. Wow, love it.

Love it, love it, love it. See, I told you he'd love it. Thank you. That's great. We've actually got, before you go, we've got someone to come back next. We've got someone that really, really wants to meet you. Okay.

Huge fan. But they've also, they're in a little bit of trouble here at work. We'll explain it all next. Okay. Huge fan. But they've also, they're in a little bit of trouble here at work. We'll explain it all next. Everyone's in trouble. We're back in studio with Troye Sivan who has very politely

agreed to stay because we have someone at work who is a massive, massive fan of yours that really wants to meet you. Cool. But they backed the Black Thunder

into the pillar in the garage and... The Black Thunder is our promotional vehicle. He said Black Thunder and I was like, oh, what? Yeah, I thought you were like speaking in tongues or something. I was like, whoa. It's a car.

It's a car. Okay, cool. So there's some significant damage. Now, rather than making an intern pay for the damage, we've said, look, if you take part in this with Troy Savant, we'll waive the damage fee. And we'll waive the damage fee and we'll waive the damage fee but also

she could get to meet Troye Sivan and she's a massive fan okay now you might have noticed behind you there's quite a large box oh I didn't know

no she's been in there the whole time are you serious hi Troye wait how can I hear you she's got a microphone

the call is going in I'm literally sitting in the box guys you're literally torturing this girl. I know. Actually, we had such a progressive chat, and now I feel really bad that this is... Because we've gone back to torture. Yeah.

So, but the thing is, she did dent the car, Troy. But what if I was listening to Troye Sivan when I backed the truck? Does that make up for it? That makes it totally fine. Thank you. Thank you.

Now, we said she can meet you, but she's got to answer the Troye Sivan questions correctly. Otherwise, she just stays in the box. She has to stay in the box and you leave and she never gets to meet you. Well, she can come out once you've gone. Gotcha.

But only once you've cleared the building. Yes. Okay. Do you have light in there? No, not at all. Nice. Okay. Now, Troy, we've got some backup questions here.

They're just about you. Feel free to add your own questions. Okay. So you don't answer them. You have to ask her to answer them for you. And do you reckon she's got to get at least three? She's got a name. Her name's Briony.

I don't know why we keep referring to her. Briony, namelessly. Box, she in the box. Box girl. Bless her. Briony in the box. Do you think she has to get three out of five correct or all of them correct? God, you know that I honestly don't even know the answers to these and they're about like...

Okay, well, let's do all three. Let's do three out of five. All right. Okay, first one was where was I born? I know this one. South Africa. Johannesburg. Yeah.

Oh, yeah. I was going to say city, city, not just country. She needs two more. She needs two more to meet you. Just on Wikipedia in the box. Actually, did we take your cell phone away? Yes, my cell phone is not with me. Don't talk to me like this.

What did I get for my birthday? I mean, I don't know. Which birthday? That's very vague. This most recent. This birthday. This birthday. When you turn 23.

I know one thing that I got for my birthday. Okay. Well, I know it. Can I give some hints? Okay, sure. Okay, so I recently posted on my socials about an experiential thing that I did with some people who are very close to me in America. Where did I go? What did I do?

Do you know? How big a fan are you, Bryony? Oh, I'm trying to think back into his Instagram or something. It was. It would have been a month ago though, right? Not even. Like two weeks ago maybe. Testing.

Okay, she doesn't know. Time's up. I'm buzzing. Okay. No. Okay. What was that? I went on a camping trip.

I just saw your pictures of you camping in LA. Yeah, that was my birthday present. Oh, that's so cute. That's my worst nightmare, but cool. There was popsies. Okay, there are multiple answers to this, so I'm sure you're going to get it right, but who is my celebrity crush? I'm going to take a stab in the dark.

Zac Efron. Oh, yeah. Really? Well, not- You can't just decide that that's what it is. No, no, no. It's a celebrity crush. He can change as he sees fit. I just want to get her out of the box.

I totally had a crush on Zac Efron in like 17 again, Zac Efron era. Oh, yeah. Hell so. Okay. What is my song Bloom about? Be nice. You're on the radio. Yeah, I know.

I know. I know it, but I'm not going to say. Just say it in a nice PC way. How would you tell your grandma? How would you tell your grandma? I love this new song. It's about... I don't know how to put this into words.

You're running out of time, Briony. It's about expressing yourself with someone you love, maybe. Oh, that was poetic, actually. That's exactly what it's about. That's three questions correct. You can come out of the box. Can I really, actually? You can come out and meet Troy.

Hello. I love you so much. Aw. Well, you got out of the box, Bryony, and you got to meet Troy. Yay. Thank you, guys. Troy Savan, exciting news. You'll come to New Zealand again eventually.

Thank you so much for coming in this morning. F.A.M. Oh, you know, look, I'll come out and admit it straight away, and I'm an emotional guy. And I think as I get older, I'm only getting worse. Well, your girls. Yeah, kids. Your kids changed the game.

Yeah. But, like, my dad's got way worse as a granddad. Right. So if I get worse again, there'll be a lot of blubbering. Your girls are always making you tear up. Yeah, they are. They just get a good report card in your... Oh, I get proud tears.

Yeah. So this morning before work, when I was at the gym, I was running, and I was watching an episode of this TV show I'm watching on Netflix called Dear White People. Very, let me be the person that tells you it's a good watch.

Megan. Definitely haven't watched it. Megan hasn't watched it. And gone on about it to these two for ages but yeah, that's okay. I watched the first episode

and I wasn't into it. I was like, well, it's not everybody's cup of tea. I was like, nah. Oh, I love it.

It's quite, it's quite interesting. Right. To see racial disharmony from all sides. Oh my God, am I racist because I didn't like the first episode? You're not woke, babes. You get woke.

Oh, no. No, that's just an interesting watch. I think everybody should give it a watch just to kind of see it from somebody else's perspective. Just against the human race, like you hate everyone. Oh yeah, I hate all people. But that's not racist. That's just hating people. Disposing of humanity.

And we are an awful bunch. But one of the episodes deals with this father-daughter relationship. Right. And then there's, oh, look, this is a little, yeah, I don't want to spoil it. But yeah, okay, the dad dies. Oh, fuck. Spoiler alert. Oh, it got me. Anytime there's a father-daughter thing.

You know, one of the worst What? No no you carry on One of the worst scenes in a movie And even thinking about it upsets me Is Inside Out The animated movie where the emotions That's an intense movie I watched that

Have you seen it? Yeah but I didn't think it was intense. Oh my God. It unwrapped me. Took you on a journey. I was on a plane and I was sleep deprived. Oh yeah. And you know what they say about, you know, watching these emotional movies at altitude. They get you. That's why I can't go to Peru and watch a movie.

Yeah. Altitude. I get altitude. Even in South Africa, I'd be like the all black, so I'd have to go there and adjust to the climate before I watch this sad movie. Yeah. Oh, my God. The scene where she starts losing the wacky memories of the fun thing she did with her dad when she was a kid. Even now.

You're a bit glassy. That destroys me. You're glassy. Even thinking about it. I couldn't watch that scene without getting glassy. Right. So, anyway, this happens, and I'm at the gym, and it's not like the super saddest thing,

but it was just quite sad. It's pretty sad. The thing is, it's because I put myself into the shoes. Right, yeah. But then I'll be dead, so I won't be around. And also the last time she spoke to him, like without giving anything away. Oh, yeah, yeah, I know.

Heartbreak. I know, yeah. Heartbreak. You should speak kindly to your loved ones because you never know when the last time you're going to speak. How intense was the cry? Oh, it was just like a couple of little tears. But I've been very reluctant.

I've watched a lot of action. I've watched all like the Marvel, like Luke Cage. At the gym? Yeah, yeah, all those. And they're good, the action and the fight scenes and everything. They get you jazzed. But I don't know if I'm ready for the emotional run because I was out running when I found out my nana died.

Dad called me and I answered and he's like, I've got bad news. I was like, well, I'm eight k's from home, Dad, so don't make it too bad. And he told me and I remember running home and I was crying. And it's quite hard, but it's the best time to cry because you look like you're puffed. You're like. Like you've got a bit of asthma and your sweat disguises your tears. Yeah, so perfect time to cry.

Yeah, yeah. To go out for an emotional. Cayman, you do an emotional cry on a run every now and then, eh? Yeah, definitely like car crying and when I'm running. Exercise crying. But on the treadmill as well. Yeah, see, I've cried on the treadmill, but I remember it being from pain. It's just like, sucks.

What's happening? Yeah. I don't have a story of it crying on the treadmill or when I've been running. When was the last time you cried? I can't remember. Actually? Yeah, I can't remember.

Ages ago. But I will say, though, that you definitely get a little bit misty with movies on planes. On planes, yeah. It's definitely a thing. It almost cracks you. It almost cracks me. Yeah, it does, yeah. What is the saddest movie I can think of?

What was the, like, did you, were you watching Marley and Me on the plane, eh? Yeah, Marley and Me. So I still haven't watched Marley and Me. I don't need to... I don't need that. I'm trying to think of something that relates to him because kids, no. Yeah, no, no relationship there.

Like, relationships, no. And you know what? No one's made a movie about a cat dying and how it emotionally affected the family because... Because you'd just watch Marley and Me and be like, stupid dog. Yeah, stupid dog making us love you. But nobody successfully made a movie where a cat means anything to a human.

Which is weird. That's a market, right? Yeah. Not that I might be one of the movies out there, but... Surely there has been. I don't know. FEM. Brooklyn Beckham has everything he could possibly want.

He's got two rich parents. He was at a prestigious school. It cost more than $23,000 per term to go to Parsons School of Design. Because he wants to be a photographer, doesn't he? So he released a book, a photography book last year. It got slated by critics who said it was rubbish. But he got accepted to this four-year course. And by all accounts, he loved it.

It was in New York. And you often saw him going back to the UK to see his family. Right. The paps got pictures of him. But obviously, that wasn't enough because he has quit. He's done one year of the four-year course,

and apparently, it's because he's homesick. So he was living in New York and just missed his mum. Does he suck at photography? Maybe a bit of both. So this is life's hard. It doesn't say whether he was failing or if it's a course that you can fail or anything. It's literally been reported that he's homesick and missing his mum.

That's pretty cute. I would have thought his parents would have been away from home at stretches like that growing up. Or did their kids travel with them pretty extensively? I guess they travelled with them. Right. Yeah. But even still, like, if your parents were away from home, you'd still, that doesn't mean that you wouldn't miss them when you moved away.

Yeah. But you've got to move away sometime. You've got to. Does he though? Because he's moved back and now he's got a deferred course. He's doing an internship with a respected British photographer, which mum probably set up for him. So he doesn't need that course. He lives at home.

Doesn't live like. Yeah, I think he lives at home. Because he had an apartment when he went to New York, but I don't know of any house that he's got in the UK. They heard totally say he's flatting. I'm flatting at mum and dad's. Somebody I knew once where you had this big thing saying, oh, they were flatting, but their flatmate was their dad.

No, that's not flatting. You're just living with your dad. Oh, no, because we split the rent. I mean, he gave it a year, but I'm too stubborn. Me too. I couldn't do that because you've told everyone, I'm going to New York, I'm doing this four-year photography course. Yeah.

Even if I didn't like the course, I'd stay in New York and do something else. I'm too stubborn to come back and admit that I miss mum, so I'm moving home. Like, that's just, what? He's 19, so like. But you've got to, come on, you've got to grow up one day. Yeah. See, because when I moved to Christchurch from Nelson,

that was a big shock. And when your parents drive away, you're like, oh, God. Mum? Why do I don't feel well? I need my mum. As a parent, I'm on the other side of this. I'm quite looking forward to it.

When they move away. Right. When they're 32. You're going to cry like a baby. Yeah, I know. That's what I'm saying. They'll move away. I'll be like, how's it all going?

Do you want to come home? Because it's a dangerous world out there. I love when you hear about those people and you hear about them every now and again and they do the big OE or they move away and they only last a month. Because they don't even start. Caitlin,? Why? It's not even that. Caitlin, you've got a friend that did that. Yeah, it was like after uni and she went to do the like Camp

America thing. Yeah. But she said it was because she missed her boyfriend, but it was obviously because of her parents as well. But she only lasted like not even a month. Don't you go for like six months? Yeah, I know. Even half, yeah. Oh, six months is half a month. Aren't they? Don't you go for like six months? Yeah, I know. Like even half, yeah.

Oh, six months is half a year. Half a year. Yeah. It's about half a year. See, I'm too stubborn because I know that everyone would be laughing at you behind your back.

I know. That's why I couldn't come back. Yeah. Or I'd come back and not tell anyone I'd come back. That's the other thing. So it was for your boyfriend and it's actually for your parents.

Practice living in a bunker. Just don't leave the house. Yeah, yeah, pretty much. Have a good food supply. Could we take some calls of people that have been in like a similar situation? What did you quit

because you missed home? Whether or not you quit the OE, study, a job, because you just missed home. We won't laugh. I mean, we laughed at Brooklyn, but we won won't laugh I mean we laughed at Brooklyn

But we won't laugh at you We laughed at Brooklyn Because he's got rich parents That's our logic We laugh at people Based on their family income So before you come on here You tell us how rich your family is

And if you've got a trust We'll laugh If you're a spoiled brat We'll laugh I want to know Why you quit Because you missed home You missed mum and dad because you missed home.

You missed mum and dad. Maybe you missed mum's cooking or the washing. Yeah, we all miss that, don't we? Nothing gets as white as when mum washes it. That's a hard pill to swallow. You're like, okay, why is this washing machine not as magic as mum's? So maybe you had to quit the OE or something to come home. Kelly, what happened? So I was booked in for a trip to China.

It's my last year at school, and all expenses were paid for. It was a four-week long, well, not holiday, but educational trip. Yeah. And a week before I was due to fly out, I cancelled all my tickets, told the teacher I wasn't going because, like, you know, I'd miss home. And my only second time out is New Zealand, and I'm a Maori girl. So, yeah, cancelled it. Oh, you didn't even go.

You just knew it would happen. Yeah. But do you regret that now, looking back? No, not really, because I've got offered the chance to do it in November. So, like, you know. And do you reckon you will, or will you miss mum? Oh, I definitely will, yeah. Okay.

Can mum go? No, mum can't go because she's not, you know, at school for educational purposes. Right, she could. I mean, this has got a comedy movie written all over it. She dresses up and goes back to school.

It does have comedy movies. Just in time for the trip to China. All right, well you make sure you go this time, Kelly. Because I feel like you can Skype mum every day, she'll be there. Well, no, you can't the trip to China. Alright, will you make sure you go this time, Kelly? Because I feel like you can Skype mum every day. She'll be there. Well, no, you can't Skype from in China. I don't want to rain on anyone's parade.

They're fairly picky about what social media you're allowed to use. And you can't even use Facebook there. Oh, God, you're going to miss mum. Don't tell Kelly. Thanks, Kelly. Thank you. Maya, what did you miss out on because you missed home? So, I was supposed to go to the UK for two years.

I ended up only lasting nine days. Maya, no! It's your rope. It's beautiful. The people are beautiful. They've got big sculptures and stuff. Okay, I didn't know if you were going to say sculptures there or not. So what happened?

You just hated it. Yeah, so what I was going to be doing was, not. So what happened? You just hated it. Oh, yeah. So what I was going to be doing was like I was supposed to be doing their like live in pub job. So I was going to be like pretty much away from London. And like I think when you leave for something like that, like everything is so heightened. So like all your friends are going to miss you or your family, you know, your partner. Don't rate yourself.

Mine would probably be happy to see the back of me. Car and family included. We're actually all just waiting for Vaughan to leave to Europe. Yeah. Yeah. So like obviously you get over there and you've sort of got no one. So it's really hard, I think. Was it hard coming back after nine days where people were like,

we just had this big goodbye for you Yeah there's definitely like like nobody says that to your face but you know that everybody is like

Yeah True Maya thanks for your call No that's alright thank you so much Some text messages moved to the Gold Coast lasted a grand total

of six weeks Oh see I'm with you. I would have moved back after two. It's good for a weekend or a holiday. Great place to live there. Wouldn't want to live there. Basically, it's because all the money I had saved up for myself, I'd blown on partying and clothes.

Oh, so it wasn't that you didn't like it. You just ran out of money. Well, it wasn't until they ran out of money that they realised they were missing. They were missing their parents who would quite often step in at this time. Ended up chalking it up to being an awesome six-week holiday. Just a little bit of a trial overseas. You told everyone you were moving away. God.

I got a job being a camp assistant for a tour company headed around Australia. After a week, I was like, I miss everything. And snakes. They have snakes. Yeah, they was like, I miss everything. And snakes. They have snakes. Yeah, they'll chase you home. Yeah. Yeah, it was just too much for me. I had to move home for the boyfriend and the family.

And yeah, lots of people just saying they got halfway around the world and realized that they were a family person, but it wasn't until their family wasn't there that they realized how much of a family person they were. I think good on you. Yeah, it takes like a big person they were. I think good on you. It takes like a big person to admit that you're, you know, going home. You're going to pack it all on and go home.

Take a bigger person to stay though, wouldn't it? Like fight on through those hard times. My mum would be like, get back on that plane. If I came home, I'm like, mum, I've come home. I missed you too much. You get back on that bloody plane. I told bloody everybody down here at the local cafe over at Cappuccino that you're doing your OE. So you're not coming home.

Oh, my God. What's your father going to say? Get back on that plane. Get out of here. I'll say I didn't see you. Bring in the special guest. Bring him in. The secret sound.

With Save My Bacon. Sing it, Savage. Everybody, it's Soundkeeper Gary! Good morning, guys. In the money suit. What could he be doing here in the money suit? You know what this means. We're doing it again.

ZM's Secret Sound is back. But just before we get into it, I actually have something I'd love to read. Okay. A poem. Have you made us a poem? If you could just... Maybe a haiku, Gary, where... Oh, guys, this is serious.

You don't want the music. I'm going to need that music down, please. I can cut the music, definitely. All right. Over the last few years, we've had a blast with The Secret Sound, but the time is right for me to announce my resignation from the sound keeping profession while the secret sound has been my life i must focus on my responsibilities churning honey cleaning e-bike etc right okay to my friends

and family who are i have hurt in this decision my sincerest apologies it's at this time. Like our sponsor, Save My Bacon, I wish to be alone. It's just a loan pun. Pun on loans. Oh, yeah. I didn't get that until you explained it. Yeah, no, that's... Yeah, good. Okay.

Alone, yeah. I wouldn't be alone. That's cute. I liked it. I ask that you do not cry for me. You do not weep. Right. My legacy lives on in your frustration.

And though I hang up my suit, The Secret Sound continues with a little special treat for you in store this season. And I've actually made a little something there, Fletch, if you didn't mind just kicking that off. Soundkeeper Gary was a good man. He made us laugh. Where could the secret sound be? Every day we're out there finding the secret cell.

He had us frustrated. That's not it. It is not. Oh, you're so mean. Oh, you're so mean. Stop, stop, stop. It is not a hole puncher. It is not the secret cell.

In Korea. Damn it! And he made us cry. Did you hear me cry? Oh, my God. But through it all, he gave away $170,000. Tana, you've just won $50,000.

Just won $50,000. Holy crap. You've just won $20,000. He's the hero New Zealand deserves. Gary! Gary! Gary! Gary! But not the one it needs right now. R.I.P. Sound! Gary! Gary! Gary! But not the one it needs right now.

R.I.P. Soundkeeper Gary. 2017 to 2018. Oh, hang on. I'm not dead. I'm just kind of sick of it. So it's your turn. You've got that power. This time, you

decide the sound. You wear a novelty costume. You are the sound keeper. You give away $50,000. Or you keep it all for yourself. ZM's Secret Sound with Save My Bacon. What do you think, guys? So wait.

Okay, so you want someone to be you. That's right. I'm done. But what's stopping them telling their friend what the sound is and then they get the money? Oh, we've got ten high-priced lawyers. We've got everything under control, but we want somebody to take over the sound-keeping role.

And they win it if no one guesses it. Exactly. If they can get until the end of August without someone guessing their sound, we're going to give them $50,000. But yet the listeners still have a chance to guess the sound so the listener could win the money. Anybody listening could win.

It's the nation versus the sound keeper. That's correct. Everyone's going for that money. Oh, so you wouldn't tell your friend, would you? No. Because you want to keep the money. They could give away rubbish clues because you wouldn't tell your friend, would you? No. No, because you want to keep the money. You want to keep the money. I think you'd give away rubbish clothes

because you don't want anyone to win. What do you think? So I'm out. We're going to get someone else in. Do they have to wear that suit? Because has it had a wash? No, we haven't thought about that. But the registrations are open now at ZM Online.

Right. You just chuck on a video of you making a sound and tell us a little bit about yourself as well if you want to be the sound keeper and possibly win $50,000. So they make the sound? They're going to make the sound.

Yeah. Ross Boss and I will help out. We'll be like the Luke Skywalker to their Rey. I've got so many questions. I've got so many questions in my head just... Of how this is going to work?

Having this sprung on me. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, so you have to not only audition to be the soundkeeper, but you've got to have the sound. Well, the sound is the audition, really. The sound is the audition. Right. If you make a great secret sound...

And they need to talk to us every morning to say yes or no because they are going to know what the sound is. Every season, we get thousands of sound submissions. Really? Yeah, we do. We do. All through the website, through Snapchat. Without even being asked.

This would be a great sound. Hey, guys. This would be a great sound. I've just been making a cup of tea and I've come across the most peculiar noise. Okay, well, this is a big deal. This is $50,000. Let's take some questions and let's run through some questions next. We'll This is $50,000. Let's take some questions.

And let's run through some questions next. We'll come back with you, Gary. If this sounds like you, if you think you could be the soundkeeper, the new soundkeeper Gary, 0800 dials at M9696. We'll run through a bit of a Q&A next. Does their name have to have two syllables? Soundkeeper Betty. I didn't even think about that.

Soundkeeper Rachel. I don't know, but I'm going to take my pants off because I don't need the soundkeeper uniform on anymore. We're done. Very forward, Gary. Very forward. Yeah, that thing definitely needs a wash. If you want to text in a question, 9696 0800 dial ZM.

And as Gary said, registrations ZM online. Yeah, Gary will be hanging around with no pants on to answer any questions you've got. It's very forward, Gary, just taking your pants off like that. I thought you had pants on underneath. Well, $50,000. It's back. ZM's secret sound.

Thanks to Save My Bacon-ish. ZM's secret sound. So thanks to Save My Bacon, Gary has just dropped the bombshell moments ago that he is retiring as soundkeeper Gary. I've resigned. I've handed it in. It's done.

And it's up for you now to decide what the new secret sound is to win $50,000. If you can keep that sound to yourself until the end of August, that $50,000 cash is yours. Otherwise, New Zealand, it's up to you again to guess what it is to take that $50,000 from whoever the soundkeeper is going to be.

That's right. As registration's open now, you want to be scratching stuff, kicking stuff, finding a sound that you think will last the distance. Well, that's the thing. The last secret sound, chopsticks, rubbing together. That was a hard one. That was so hard. And that's just every day. Yeah, a lot of people do it's the thing. The last secret sound, chopsticks rubbing together. That was a hard one. That was so hard. And that's just every day.

Yeah, a lot of people do all the time. Like after we announced it, I got sushi that day. And without thinking, I rubbed them together. And I was like, oh. Oh, my God. How did no one get that sooner? Like that was an everyday sound. So do you have a tip for people making a sound then?

Like how do you make a hard sound? Because we've had a lot of questions coming through, because obviously we're doing the secret sound a different way this time. Yeah. I would collect a bunch of sounds, like actually film them, and then play them for friends

and see what they say. And the key is to get a sound that has different answers. Do you know what I mean? So it could be a lot of things. It could be a lot of things. Yeah, because if you make a sound that has, like, just,

I have no idea, it's nothing, then that doesn't work. But if it's like, that's a stapler or a screw or a hot air balloon. But it's not even anything close. Exactly. Okay. And if your hot air balloon does sound like a stapler, it might be time for a nice new hot air balloon. To register, go to ZM Online.

You're going to need to upload a video, fill out some details, upload a video of you making the sound. And I guess, do you want to say something about yourself? Do you want to say, hi, I'm... Yeah, there's a bunch of questions at the website when you register. Just, you know, where you're from and a little bit about yourself. Okay, getting a lot of questions through on the texts and

calls as well. Good morning, Sam. You've got a question for Soundkeeper Gary. Hello, yes I do. I just want to know what would happen if the person that was doing the secret sound told their friends. Okay. That's the same question I had. If they were messaging in, they'd be stoked with $25,000. If you split it with a friend.

What's stopping people from doing that, Gary? We'll have things to sign. We'll have very good lawyers. And also, if we suspect any foul play whatsoever then the prize will be four feet. Let's be honest, if you if somebody guesses this, we're going to run full checks

on them, aren't we? If you have any degree of separation and it's found that you colluded and gave some money to someone else then you've got to give the money back. You're going to sign a watertight contract. Exactly. And we can check mutual friends on Facebook.

You know, we're very good Googlers here at ZM. That makes it sound a little bit creepy. So does that answer your question, Sam? Or do you still think there's a bit of temptation there for people? I think there's still definitely temptation. But then wouldn't you rather keep it a secret and get the whole 50K? Yeah, I would.

That's true. You wouldn't want to risk it. Yeah. It's tempting, though. Okay, any other questions? Okay, so write Sam down. Someone to watch. That's perfect.

Okay, nice. All right, we've got some texts in. Thanks, Sam. Someone wants to know when the competition will actually start, Gary. As you said, they have to last until the end of August, and we're halfway through July. The competition will start once we've found the correct soundkeeper. So that might take a week.

Could be a week, could be two weeks. Okay. The longer it takes, the easier it will be to keep it going out. So it will run for about what? Four to five to six weeks? About a month or so, yeah. About a month, okay. Someone wants to know who will know what the secret sound is then.

That will be the new soundkeeper. Yes. The former soundkeeper. That's you. That's me. Yeah. And Ross Boss. Okay.

Okay. And like every other secret sound, I don't want to know. I don't want to know what the secret sound is. They never offered to tell you. Oh, yeah, they didn't. Good thing you put that out there. No, but I don't want that. Or would that be what a guilty person would say?

People ask. People ask all the time. They're just like, do you guys know what the sound is? I don't want to know because it ruins the fun. I have to get people prepared that that is going to happen if you become the sound keeper. People at the gym are going to ask you, people at the supermarket,

you will end up being quite well known. But you've got a great reason not to tell people because you get to keep the $50,000. That's exactly right. After, you know, if you get to the end of next month, the end of August. Right. Right.

Any other Q&As that kind of cover what people are asking yeah a lot of questions but you know just the ones that we've covered were worded different ways do they get your e-bike no they can buy their own e-bike

you're dreaming well if they win $50,000 they can it's that rhymey of e-bikes so and I guess even if you're not the sound keeper there is still a chance

for you to take that sound because like you say you're going to know Ross Boss will know, and if somebody does guess correctly, you get the $50,000. That's right. And the soundkeeper gets nothing.

That's right. Shit, that's going to be some tears if that happens. Might get some Instagram followers. I never thought about that. You're going to, because what? I guess they can be posting clues on their Instagram. Yeah. No, that's going to happen.

So, yeah, you're going to be Insta-famous. Okay. How Insta-famous did you get, Soundkeeper Gary? Farmer Poynton. He's converted now from Soundkeeper Gary's promoting his honey. You do your homemade honey, don't you? He's done a classic buyout. He bought out.

He bought off himself, changed brand, rebranded. Right, okay. Isn't that 366 followers? All right, wellranded. Right, okay. He's still got 366 followers. All right, well, thanks to... Oh, that's not media, is it? That's a follower for every day of the year and one to spare. It is, yeah. Two for Christmas.

Well, all thanks to Saved by Bacon. It's back. Our secret sound if you would like to register ZM Online. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. I'm a big fan of etymology. That's the origins of words or sayings. And a lot of sayings, I actually learnt, you know what cliche means? You know how something's so cliche?

Yeah. So that comes from the days of old newspaper printing. And it's the sound that a press made when it hit metal. Cliche. Cliche. Wow. Sounds like the Pokemon version. But yeah, when it used to hit the press to copy it, so then they could take all the words apart and do another page.

Right. And press that one it sounded like a yeah it made the sound cliche the press hitting liquid but that's not the fact of the day

no no oh well I hope that's a bonus that was a good fact that's the bonus yeah today's fact of the day is the origins of the saying

do you have the guts for it okay you know how like being gutsy meant that you were ready for the fight yep it was because

diarrhea was such a problem for soldiers and they would not let you fight and go into battle. If you went into the trenches, I'm talking really early warfare, and you spread diarrhea, it would be really, really bad for everybody in the trenches, A, because you had to poop in the trench and diarrhea would be bad. Yeah, that's disgusting. And obviously when you've got really bad diarrhea,

you can't shoot Germans or Turks. Yeah, okay. They get in the, the diarrhea gets in the way. You might have them lined up and you'll just hear. Well, you don't want to be going over the top and Barry gets up the ladder before you and shouts. Oh, God, I'm sorry. It's terrible.

Yeah, so having the guts to fight was a question that they would ask you before you were deployed. Do you have the guts? Do so having the guts to fight was a question that they would ask you before you were deployed. Do you have the guts of this? Do you have the guts to fight? I'd be like, oh, I'm feeling really queasy. I think it's that donut kebab we had last night. Just tell them you've got diarrhea.

They're not following you to the toilet. You never need to probably go as far to say like a donut kebab. You could just say, you know, we're living in a world pre-refrigeration. I just ate something and it's giving me diarrhea, like a donut kebab. You could just say, you know, we're living in a world pre-refrigeration. Yeah. I just ate something and it's giving me diarrhea so I can't charge over there. Yeah. Out of the stitch to shoot

at Germans. It'd be thin though. They'd be like, Fletch, we've done four over the top assaults and you've set all of them out because of your tummy.

IBS. What can I say? I can't say no to day old chicken. I love reheating chicken in the microwave. Sue me. Okay can I say? I can't say no to day old chicken. I love reheating chicken in the microwave. Sue me. Okay, we don't have microwaves because it's the early 1900s. Okay,

coal furnace. Whatever we reheat things in. Let me rephrase. I love to reheat chicken on a coal furnace. Sue me. Well, that's probably because it's coal powered and you're putting it in there. It's the coal that's making you sick. Well, I'll know for next time. But today, I'll sit it out.

Sit it out again. This comes from a review article. And you know when I find something in a paper or a PhD, the titles are always the best. This is a review article, The History of Acute Infectious Diarrhea Management from Poorly Focused Empiricism to Fluid Therapy and Motopharmotherapy. That's really niche.

Yeah, and it literally starts with freedom from diarrhea was very important for early soldiers. If you had the guts to fight, it would mean you were diarrhea free. So that's today's fact of the day. Fact of the day, day, day, day, Tay. Holly joins us on the phone today for this edition of Swipe Mears. So you've matched with someone on a dating app, Holly? Yes, I have. How did it all go wrong?

So I decided to, so I met with this guy a couple of weeks. And then I had actually already had this trip planned to CG with my friend. And she ended up having to call out because she had some medical issues that she couldn't quite go. Okay. Met up with this Tinder guy for lunch

and turns out that he was a travel agent and was able to swap the flights over. So put his name on the ticket and just pay her back. And I was like, oh, cool, all right. What's the worst that could happen? What is this on his suggestion? You're obviously just saying this is what's going on in my life. He's like, I can get this changed.

I'm coming with you. Yeah, pretty much. Oh, my God. No, no, no, no, no. Oh, this is red flags already. Oh, no. Oh, I know, but I had no one to go with, so I was just like, oh, you know,

I'll just cling on to whatever I can kind of get there. I've got no idea. I've never been to PG before. So I organised that. It all got organised, sorry. And I just said to him, look, we're going to go with friends. It's going to be like a friends trip. I've planned it as a friends trip.

It's not going to be a week away, romantic week away or anything. Wait, a week with what? This guy? Oh, no. Okay, okay. No, no, no. Overseas. You don't even really know him.

I know. I know that now. So, anyway, first night we get there, we have a couple of drinks. We're at a hostel. So, we're at a hostel for a few nights. Okay. And while we're there, we have a couple of drinks. We're at a hostel. So we're at a hostel for a few nights. Okay. And while we're there, we go down to the beach. We've met a couple of people.

We're just kind of hanging out on the beach. There's like a person doing fireballs and whatever on the beach. Okay. The sun was setting and he leans over and tries to kiss me. And I'm just like pulled away. Like, what do you think you're doing? Oh. And I run away.

I'm like, no, i'm not dealing with this and then he sulks for about an hour and doesn't even talk to me um i know and then i was stuck with this guy for like that was day one oh god i thought we were at least halfway through oh god that was day one and then anyway, later on down the track, we did three nights at a hostel, three nights at a resort. Soon as we got to the resort, I was like, look, I need a break. You go do your thing. I'll go do my thing.

And I decided to meet up with the guy that we met from the hostel. Okay. And I wanted to, you know, see how he was going. Yeah. Oh, no, oh, no, oh, no. You can't help yourself. Oh, no, I just could not deal with this guy. And he was just not about it.

He was just having a go. He just did not want to play that game. Right. And literally sulked for the rest of the trip. He was rude to bar staff. He was rude to everyone. It was just horrific. And I had to put up with him for like

six whole days. Did you sit together on the flight home? No. So luckily my friend told me, I was texting my friends the whole way through and they told me they were like when you get to the airport let him go first my friend told me, I was texting my friends the whole way through and they told me, they were like, when you get to the airport,

let him go first and then you go a different way so that you can sit on a different seat on the plane so you don't have to stick with him. Good call. I was just raging. I was not okay.

You are out of my life. I haven't talked to him since and that was March last year. Oh my God. You really rolled the dice with that. I know. We've learned since, and that was March last year. Oh my God. You really rolled the dice with that. I know, we've learned. But that's the thing with new couples. Not that you were even a new couple, but it's

really a test. The travelling. The test of a relationship is travel, isn't it? Really? Yeah. The lesson learnt here is don't travel with a Tinder date. Well, I mean, if you do a whole lot of stuff together before you travel,

sure, I mean, that could work. But not literally Tinder date travel straight away. No. Holly, we're going to hook you up with a Swipe Me as prize hack. Well done.

Thank you for sharing. Thanks, guys. And if you have your own Swipe Me, you can register. Zit him on. Fletch. Vaughn. And Megan.

The podcast. Some bad news for Love Island fans. This is from the producers, and they have made a decision to cut back on the sex in the show. I thought that's what people liked about it. It is. The smuttiness. Well, there's lots of things.

I mean, it's like relationships and, I mean, all of it. So, drama. Yeah, I was going to say the drama is the question. Because we only really see the sexy stuff in the hideaway. Does that mean they're going to take the cameras out of the hideaway? I don't know. Or just show less of it. Yeah, stop showing it.

But there's a bit of, huh. They want it to be about entertainment, not romps. And they don't want it to be too smutty. Oh. I think they're targeting the wrong show. But, yeah, it's going to change the whole dynamic of it. But they're still going to do it, right? We're just not going to see it.

Unless they're saying that because it's getting complaints. But it's definitely, like, compared to, like, Geordie Shore and Jersey Shore and stuff, like, you used to see, like, absolutely everything. Yeah. It's definitely not like that. No. Like, Geordie Shore and Jersey Shore and stuff, like, you used to see, like, absolutely everything. Yeah. It's definitely not like that. No. Like, I'd still let my kids watch Love Island. Oh, I wouldn't.

I wouldn't. I'm surprised your mum's letting you watch this. You're actually planning your birthday celebrations in, what, three weeks? Uh, yep. Are you going to have Love Island finished by then? Because you might not even be able to make your own birthday party. Have you thought about this? Oh, we'll have to go after I've watched the episode.

I don't know how much longer there is. Oh, no, that's really stressing me out now. I thought you were going to ask her if she's having a Love Island-themed birthday party. We are having it on an island. Let me start. Oh, God. We could all drink our wine out of the bottles. With drink bottles.

You can give the drink bottles as party favours. Oh, my God, stop. She's done invited too many people. Those, God. We could all drink our wine out of the bottle. With drink bottles. You can give the drink bottles as party favours. Oh, my God, stop. Jeez, don't invite too many people. Those are expensive. Oh, no. Now we're down. Now we're, yeah. Vaughn and Megan. The podcast. For more, catch them every weekday from 6.