ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Megan Podcast - July 17 2018

Episode Date: July 16, 2018

Bebe Rexha is in studio, Community Notices and are your parents more sociable than you?See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is the Fletch, Vaughan and Megan podcast, thanks to Spark. You can stay connected with free Wi-Fi a gig a day on the $19 Spark prepaid rollover pack. Enjoy. Hello, good morning, welcome to the show. Sam, you well. What a line. Woo! I mean, I don't think you need to see a doctor, Ian.

You're obviously not concussed if the brain's coming up with that sort of Shakespearean-level poetry. What was the line again, Anya? Damn, boy. It was, I was supposed to be out with a concussion, but it was my knee that ended up giving way to this beauty. Poetic. Poetic.

Well, congratulations, Sam Cain. Yeah, oh, yeah, congrats. I've not been to the bridal falls In Raglan It's been very wet lately I'm just looking at the photo Their shoes look remarkably clean It's a real Son of a gun you drive down a long road To get there and then you think

It's a little bit of a walk There's so many stairs It walk. There's so many stairs. It's beautiful. There's so many stairs. Oh yeah, because you get to the top and you're like, oh shit, I'm at the top. All the good photos are down the bottom. This would be your prologue though, aren't you? He'd be proposing to you, be like, I don't want to go up

the stairs. So many stairs and he's like, come on, it'll be worth it. No, I'll wait in the car and that's how you'll get proposed to, just in the car, in the parking lot. I was going to do it there, but you didn't come. Didn't you, when Toyboy proposed, you didn't want to go for a beach walk, did you?

No, that was the first proposal. I bitched and moaned. Because we went for a beach walk and it was like cold and rainy and I was like, I want to go home, this is cold. He's like, no, we just need to walk down the beach for a little bit. I grizzled the whole way.

But it was cold. It was a bad choice. The whole way through that marriage, you grizzled. What was a bad choice? Pretty much. Alright,

what part of it? All of it. All encompassing. Bebe Rexha is in the country. Joins us on the show quarter to eight this morning. Who are you laughing at?

That is her name, Bebe Rexha. No, thanks. I'm good. I'm good. What else is coming up? Top six? What's wrong with this? I didn't know she was laughing when you said Bebe Rexha.

Bebe Rexha is coming up. It was very strong. In all of the words. Bebe Rexha. Bebe Rexha. It was very strong. In all of the words. B.B. Rixar. B.B. Rixar. Getting sass from the millennial, junior millennial broadcaster. Unacceptable. As he throws down his lip balm.

That showed me. In disgust. All right, you lot, listen up. It's story time. All right, you lot, listen up. It's story time. All right, story time. Three news headlines for three stories that I found interesting odd unusual stories. You pick one.

Warner Megan, here are the headlines. Headline one, man's $400,000 mistake. Headline two, local fundraiser raises eyebrows. And headline three, done with chips, seagull goes for wallet. Why would a seagull go for a wallet? I don't know. Just because it was sitting there. Maybe, yeah.

Well, as the man's $400,000 mistake, this happens. And any time it does happen, it makes headlines. A guy totaled a luxury car. Ferrari, Lamborghini it does happen it makes headlines. A guy totaled a luxury car. Ferrari. Lamborghini. No, it was a McLaren. Yeah, that's correct. I love a good story like that because I could never afford a car like that so

when it happens to someone I'm like, eh, that'll teach you for being rich. He, yeah, the McLaren described as ferociously fast by McLaren. Gives you the ultimate balance of power with control. But unfortunately, it seems this man was not balanced as he crashed into a tree. I just don't see the point of spending so much money on a, like, flash car like that

because you can only ever drive 100. That's what I always think. Like, what's, unless you're going to take it to a racetrack. Like, post you and then total it. And then you're going to take it to a racetrack, and then even then, like... And then total it. And then you're going to total it anyway. Scratch down the side. Yeah, or you're insecure about the size of your penis

and you're trying to overcompensate. That's why we've all got little responsible, sensible cars. Because our penis is so big. Well, no, I was going to say, my raggedy-ass Honda actually reflects my raggedy-ass penis. Both of which struggle to get a warrant of fitness. Oh, yeah, right. Due to lack of tread.

And, yeah, bad seatbelts. So, what does it say if you don't even have a car, just got a skinny black bicycle? Yeah. You're really not. No need to overcompensate for anything No Right okay

And if you need one You just borrow one True Much like a penis Sure Temporary release Alright so which one Can I only use yours

For the weekend Reluctantly Yeah Alright so you don't want We've kind of touched On the 400 Do you want the seagull Or the local fundraiser

Raising eyebrows The fundraiser Yeah I mean the local fundraiser raising eyebrows? The fundraiser. Yeah, I think the fundraiser raising eyebrows. Okay, we go to Eastridge in Tennessee, where the Eastridge police officers, the police department, are struggling. They don't have latex gloves. They're low on ammunition. They're low on bulletproof vests and all the little things that

police officers need. What? Why? Is crime not a problem? I saw, because did you ever watch that Flinttown documentary on Netflix? No, but you've told me that I must. Sad. It was like, really, it was quite interesting.

Like, they literally don't have money just to do things. Isn't there only a few cops quite interesting. Like, they literally don't have money just to, like, do things. Isn't there only a few cops? Yeah, like, they didn't even have enough police cars. And they're, like, it used to be one of the most violent towns in America. And they're just like, oh, we don't have enough police cars. Good lord. Is it still one of the most violent towns in America?

I think it's gone down slightly. Well, but if there's no police to report the crimes to it, it's probably really violent. But statistically, they're not getting them reported. Well, but if there's no police to report the crimes to it, it's probably really violent, but statistically they're not getting them reported. Well, it appears their gripes, they've gone public with their demands for, I guess, the basics of doing their job. And so a fundraiser's happening.

A barbecue will be on this Saturday to raise funds for latex gloves and bullets for the police department. So if you can help out, it's from 11 till 5. Tennessee, did you say? Yeah. See, every area of America has a different barbecue specialty. So I don't know what it is in Tennessee.

I'm going to have to look it up. Because there's one state in America, it's sheep. And that's really unusual for Americans. It's always pork or beef. I think you're missing the point here, though. It's not so much about the barbecue. It's about when they don't have the funds to do their job. But you're interested, so maybe people like you will help out.

Look, Memphis, Tennessee, known for its ribs. It's pork ribs. They call them wet ribs because they slop so much sauce on them during it. I was going to say the rib sauce would have like bourbon in it or Tennessee whiskey or whatever. I've got some Memphis whiskey sauce at home. Excellent. Well, at least they might not be able to shoot people. Their hands would be too slippery.

Yeah, and you're advertising to the criminals that we can't shoot you and we'll be busy at this time too. Oh, yeah, yeah. Rob the bank because we'll be fundraising for bullets. Or rob the bank and then come down and spend that money at our barbecue. It's a good circle of life, that one.

Yeah, sure. F.M. Elon Musk, friend of the show. Let's just... No, he's no friend of the show. Previous friend of the show. Megan's had a big crush on him. His innovative mind and his slightly wonky teeth and his brain.

You'd love guys with wonky teeth. Crooked teeth, yeah. A little bit of crooked tooth. I liked him because he just did a whole bunch of weird, he does weird stuff, like he made a flamethrower. That's right, yeah. And he put a car in space. And all of these sorts of outlandish things that I'd like to think I'd do if I had money

And when I saw that he'd made a little contraption Or his people had made a little contraption To try to help get those kids out of that Thai cave I thought, man, that's good You know, people say, oh, he's doing it for publicity But who cares, he's trying to help Now, it didn't work And apparently, his engineers were given

The measurements of the cave by somebody on site. Yeah. So they made it to the best of their abilities, got it there, and the people said, it's just not going to work. You can't fault the guy for trying. Yeah. You know, could have sat back and done nothing. And there's a bit of criticism. And up to that point, I was like, well, he tried.

What else did you do? He went in the cave as well. And yeah, the interview with the Thai diver just rolled his eyes. But I was like, I didn't feel like he deserved as much sass as he got. Up until now. A British expat was in there and when they asked him about

Elon Musk's little submarine thing, yeah, as Megan said, he rolled his eyes, threw a bit of sass, said it was never going to work, didn't work, no good. It was a publicity stunt. And Elon Musk obviously wasn't happy with that. And he called him a pedo, basically. Oh, my God.

Like, this guy is going to be able to sue Elon Musk. Apparently now considering legal action. This British, the guy that did the rescue dive. One of the divers that went in there. Who's on the murals and everything that had been painted to celebrate the fact that all of these people got out and avoided a national tragedy.

It would have been fine for him to defend himself and come out and be like, hey, I was only trying. It's fine if he was upset with the sass, but why did he call him a pedo? You just ruined everything. There was a big long tweet. It was like this 60-something-year-old

living in Thailand. Yeah. I was a big long tweet. It was like this 60-something-year-old living in Thailand. Yeah. I'll be a signed dollar. That's his first one. It said sus. Yeah, sus in brackets. A 60-year-old living in Thailand. Sus.

And then carried on. And someone's like, what do you mean by sus? You can't just, you know, accuse somebody of that. And he said, I bet you're a signed dollar. And then referred to him as the British, the pedo. Yeah. And everyone's like, oh, no. Wow.

Well, he's a billionaire and a couple of mil, I'm sure, will be knocked off of that. He was wearing it there for a few weeks, Elon Musk. Well, he just snapped, didn't he? But that's too low. Yeah, way too low. It needs to be bigger than that. I kind of expected him to backtrack too and be like, delete it, just not say anything. But then he came back and

tweeted again saying bet you a signed dollar it's true. Yeah. But all of those are deleted now. They're deleted now yeah.

It's done though isn't it? The diver had commented late last night saying that yeah he's furious and it's not over. It's not over he's

seeking legal advice. He that's that's a gimme though that court, isn't it? Oh, yeah. The whole world was talking about this guy being a pedo. Yeah. What a bitch is he going to go to court and prove you're not? What a horror, like, no, I'm not.

Can you prove it? Oh, well, how do you want me to prove it? Yeah. Crazy, yeah, crazy. But yeah, a bit too far. It sucks when your hero does something stupid and you're like, oh no. I literally can't publicly like him anymore.

There was a story yesterday that Elon Musk was also a massive donor to the Republican Party. Is that right? Yeah, it was green-capped. So they called him one of the top contributors. Now, he said, all right, that's categorically false. I'm not a top contributor to any political party. But that's true.

He's not a top contributor. He only contributed like 30-something thousand. But there's screencaps of his name, his address, and how much he paid. So how are you supposed to dispute that? Yeah, true. Oh, Elon. Oh, no. You're going to have to find a new, like, hero now.

Well, Zuckerberg, wasn't it? Oh, no, you can't trust him now. Nah. He's bloody in your messages, selling your ads to whoever. Can't trust anybody. Can't trust anybody. Never trust anybody, ever. Full stop, ever.

Carl Fletcher's life mantra comes true again. Yeah. The Top Six with Vaughan Smith. Hello. Today's Top Six. The Top Six good things about being tear gassed. TVNZ's Joy Reid was tear gassed while enjoying celebrations in France for the celebrations of the World Cup.

Things got a bit out of hand and the riot police deployed tear gas. Some of those scenes were insane. They were crazy. I know it wasn't every French person. There was a small group of troublemakers. But man, they messed some stuff up. Oh yeah, stuff went down.

And Joy Reid, are you flattered with her at broadcasting school, Megan? Then I saw a picture she put up yesterday of like got her right in the face. She spearheaded the charge to have your husband, now ex-husband, pay $2 per shower he had during your student accommodation days. Oh, meal.

$2 per meal? Yes. What was she charging a shower? I don't think she charged for a shower. She ran a tight, flat budget. Now, is it true that she also put a skipping rope on the flat account? Yes, but you make it sound like I'll be going on and on about it.

Because you just found out it was Joy Reid. Because I've heard the story about this flat mate that ran the place like a concentration camp. No, she did not. And now I hear it's TVNZ's very own Joy Reid. Don't say like a concentration camp. No, I shouldn't have said that. I didn't mean that.

Like a boarding house. She ran a tight ship. Like she was Aunt Lydia. I was going to say Aunt Lydia. Blessed be the day, my children. Now, $2 per hot meal. And don't have a shower. And skip, skip, skip, skip, skip.

I'm getting fit. Under his eye. How good is just Aunt Lydia? Just a side note on Handmaid's Tale. How good is Aunt Lydia when she's in a happy mood? Oh, she's the best. She's so great. Sade, when I'm watching it, I was like, I want to hate her,

but just that look on her face. When she's nasty, tear a phone, but when she's heavy, blessed be the fruit of my children. She has little dimples and you're like, face when she's nasty tear a phone but when she's heavy blessed be the fruit of my children isn't she has little dimples and you're like oh she's okay and you're like she's a happy monster

like Elmo she's okay cookie monster so the top six good things about being tear gassed number six it'll make you appreciate fresh air when you breathe it again

because you've got to have the lows to appreciate the highs yeah don't you I've not appreciated my vision. A hundred percent. Yeah. You can see clearly in there.

Not like when I was tear gassed. Yeah. Number five on the list of the top six good things about being tear gassed. Take a selfie and when you're having a bad day, you'll never look as bad as the day when you were tear gassed. Oh. Did you see the photo? Fab for her photo. Jory looked like she'd been to five funerals

in mustard gas factories. I was just like, oh my God, what's happened to her? She was like... Yeah. You just think she was in extreme mourning. Yeah. It was just like someone blowed like chilli in her face. But then you think about it,

next time you're having a bad day, you look in the mirror and you're like, nah. And then you're like, you'd need that. You just go into your favorites and then at the time you're tear gassed and you're like, well, could be worse. True. Number four on the list of the top six good things

about being tear gassed. You're so distracted by the burning sensation in your eyes and lungs that you'll hardly notice the pain of rubber bullets hitting you. In the right place, fire those. Silver linings.

Oh, there's a light sticking in my back. Well, it's nothing compared to the fact that I can't breathe and my eyes are bleeding. Number three on the list of the top six good things

about being tear gassed. It'll make you thankful you followed Nana's advice to always have a hanky on hand. True. But you're either saving your lungs or your eyes. Not both. Pick one. Nanas and mums love a hanky, hand. True. But you're either saving your lungs or your eyes. Not both.

Pick one. Nannies and mums love a hanky, eh? Yeah. Up the sleeve. Up the sleeve. Up the sleeve. Or in the bra.

My big problem was once you've snotted on the hanky, putting it back up the sleeve's grim. Yeah, it is grim. Maybe you fold it over. But then it's not still

inside there. Yeah, depending on looking a seep through. Ah, yeah, because nannies only ever had a dainty. But then they're saving the trees, aren't they? Yeah, they are. They to seep through. Yeah, because they've only ever had a dainty. But then they're saving the trees, aren't they? Yeah, they are. We're wasting the trees. That's true.

Number two on the list of the top six good things about being tear gassed. You'll have the most life or death game of Marco Polo with your friends ever. And if you get it wrong, you'll get bitten by a police dog. So there's extra emphasis to really listen to where the polo is coming from. Yep. So you can follow them. And the number one good thing about being tear gassed, the Instagram likes. Yeah.

People are going to like the photo because they feel sorry for you. People are going to like it because they're amazed by it and it's an interesting experience. Yep. And people are going to like it because secretly they've always wanted to tear gas you themselves. It's called the holy Holy Trinity of Instagram posts. Very few things tick all three boxes. It's very true. Like a baby might, when you make your pregnancy announcement,

because people are amazed by it, you know, people like you, so they feel for you and people are really looking forward to you going through the pain of squeezing a watermelon out of your vagina. Again, the holy trinity of Instagram posts. And that's today's top six. A new Plymouth man. A new Plymouth. This is amazing.

A new Plymouth man. He owned a lawnmower business. He ran a lawnmower business. But. He ran a lawnmowing business, but he also worked as a petrol station four-quarter assistant. Right. So he mowed lawns. And when it came to do his tax return, he must have got some paperwork and said,

you haven't filed your tax return. This is what you need to do. He was like, oh, okay. Well, he can't have kept any receipts. But he wrote down that to run his lawn mowing business, he had made $10,000. Right. His income was $10,000.

However, it had cost him $800,000 to run his business. Now, these figures plucked out of nowhere. Right, okay. Apparently plucked out of nowhere. Even to fill your lawnmower Like even just imagine How much you'd spend On petrol in a year

And that's a car It wouldn't even be That much would it Oh no No no no no no Nowhere near $800,000 No you've got like One vehicle

The IRD have an idea Everything's kind of Got a Figure next to it Right For the average user. Right. So the average user might spend, I don't know exactly what it is, but they might spend

$5,000 a year on fuel. Unless they're a courier that'd spend more, but then the IID would know that they're a courier, they'd fall under the thing. They've got all these computers that just like trawl through. Somehow, on that first GST, the information that he put in,

where this business had made $10,000 but cost him $800,000 to run, $100,000 tax refund was put into his company's account. Because this is what happens. You file the paperwork and you get your tax refund, and then if you get audited is when you get found out. Yeah, right. Or if there's irregularities when they're running their software.

So that works. You've got $100,000 in your account. See, that was free money for him. And you can imagine he's like, hmm, that was remarkably easy. And it comes to filing his GST claim next time. He said, well, it's been a good year for me. Rather than earning

$10,000, I've earned $50,000. However, you might remember last year my business cost $800,000. Cost me $10 million to run my business this year. Too much, mate. You've gone too far this time. So the IRD machine does its work and it tells him that $1.4 million is the tax back that he's entitled to. So obviously,

when you're a one-man operation running a lawn mowing self-employment situation with a bit of PAYE on the side in New Plymouth and you're getting a $1.4 million tax refund. There's a couple of red flags. The IRD bells are going to start ringing at head office.

Did he actually get that $1.4? No, no, no. So apparently it was calculated. But then obviously if there's going to be a tax refund of that size, that's like huge. That's huge. I don't even know if massive businesses would get that. I don't know how massive businesses' tax works.

But I mean, sure, they try to make it look like there's not as much profit, but I think even there, $1.4 million tax, insanity. He should have just gone a little bit more than last time. I'm not saying defraud IRD. I would have thought $800,000 for a business was way too much too.

He went way too high. Oh yeah, first time. There must have been a lot of advertising. Yeah. Well he probably did a lot of advertising. Yeah. He probably did a lot of local advertising. But then again, like, oh, what was he thinking? A lot of local advertising. So what's happened to him? Well, you might be interested, rather than the $1.4 and the $100,000,

so $1.5 million is what he got from tax refunds over a couple of years. When the paperwork was done, he was actually entitled to $500. Oh, dear. But he had already spent the $100,000 on a new car an overseas holiday but has ended up having to sell his home to pay the money back to the IRD. What an idiot.

What did he think? Like why isn't everyone doing this? We could all be millionaires. Free money. That's the... So he's not going to prison or anything? It's just a pay back the money, sell your house? I don't want to assume, but I think there might have been... Right, okay.

Mitigating circumstance that maybe they were like, okay, Matt, this was an absolute brain dead plan. Yeah, right. We've got you. We've got the money back. Let's move on. I think he's going to be monitored. Yeah, right. We've got you. We've got the money back. Let's move on. I think he's going to be monitored. Right, okay.

Yeah, but I don't think at this time he's going to be going to prison. Fletchbourne and Megan's Community Notices. Hello. Welcome to Community Notices, a segment of the show

where we see what's happening around New Zealand according to local Facebook posts. Let's pop into Bayview. This is in Auckland, New Zealand. Bayview community. Janine's got a problem. Oh no. Here it is. Wavy hand. That's how it starts. Yep.

I guess it's like a, hi, hey, over here, excuse me. Please help! Capital letters. Followed by what looks to be at least 12 exclamation marks. Someone close by with a plunger that can pop in quick and unblock my toilet? Oh, yuck. Oh, no, Janine. Janine, no.

I'd be so grateful. Another 12 exclamation marks. Husband's away for work. On my own at home. No plunger. Hashtag stressing. Do you know what, though? Hats off to the Bayview community.

So helpful. Right. So helpful. Right? So helpful. Did someone do it? So no, there's somebody said I'm sure I've seen this done before where things that aren't a plunger have a look for YouTube hacks. What to do with no plunger. Is there one where you put

Gladwrap or a seal over the toilet bowl and that does something? Is that does something? Is that a thing? That's what Mike who posted said. The same guy that said, check YouTube. He said, I've seen some done with Glad Wrap or something similar. Yeah, because it creates a seal of air.

And then you push that, maybe? On like, resuscitate the toilet with the Glad Wrap. You'd want a thick Glad Wrap. You'd want almost like catering roll. Well, yeah, I don't know. Yeah, you'd want a couple of layers, maybe. Yeah, right. I don't know. Yeah, you'd want a couple of layers maybe. Yeah, right. I don't know how airtight that would be.

Yeah, there are people doing it with Glad Wrap. Like what Fletch said? Unblock toilet. Like over top of the whole bowl. Yeah. Unclog. I don't know if my standard roll of Glad Wrap would be wide enough. I think you've got to use a couple of things. Multiple.

Do you use that? Oh, yuck. I know. All these instructional videos are like using actual blocked toilets. That's pretty grim. Yeah, so you just put the... These people are putting the Glad Wrap over. And then do you flush again?

No. Hang on. I'm just... Okay, you fast forward her a little bit. She's giving very detailed... She's doing a lot of... I mean, this could have done with a little bit of an edit on her behalf. Yeah, well, I mean, you know, she's helping.

How many views has this video had? Okay, so they've put like 21,000. Oh, wow. Now what they're doing is they're kind of pinching in the middle and popping it. And that's kind of pushing it down. Yeah, so now they're just like resuscitating it. Right, yeah, okay.

Oh, and it worked. Oh, my God. That's a lot of glad rat. Oh, no, okay. Oh, and it worked. Oh, my God. That's a lot of glad rat. Oh, no, wait. Oh, that nearly overflowed. That's a terrifying part about plunging. Yeah, yeah, when it comes up. Got to take that risk.

Got to risk it for the biscuit. Oh, it worked. That worked your treat. Yeah, they've pretty much used the whole roll of glad rat there. Somebody, Wendy's suggestion is wrap an old towel around a toilet brush and go to town. Oh, yuck. You've got to be willing to sacrifice a towel there, Wendy. And you don't want it to come unblocked and suck the towel in.

Yeah. Johnny says cut the bottom off a Coke bottle and then with the lid on, use that as a plunger. And I suppose that would work, right? Well, because it's under the water. You're going to have to have it under the water. Yeah. And then you do that with the air in it,

that might create enough to get it going. And Victoria says, get a small piece of garden hose, push it down through and blow hard. Oh, no, no. Everybody was very quick to say,

blow, do not suck and bend the hose when you're not blowing. Otherwise you're likely to get a bit of, bit of pooey water pushing straight back up the pipe. The garden hose actually might push it through anyway because that would go up the S-bend, wouldn't it? Yes.

You shouldn't be doing that. It might make it worse. Let's go to Queenstown Trading now. Jade's got a problem, and this might be a job for another Queenstown Facebook page that does a lot of good work, the Queenstown Police Facebook page. Okay.

Because she says, does anybody know this guy? Long story short, my friend got pretty wasted at the last electric rush and bought this guy home. She then realised she was a bit too messed up to do anything and she'd rather cuddle the dog, so kindly

asked him to leave the house. He did leave, but the next morning we realised he'd also stolen our shoes on the way out. A pair of Adidas Gazelles and Nike Juvenates. Okay. Box of beers for anybody with photos of this guy. And brackets. Yeah.

We found this photo on the Electric Rush page. And brackets. That leads to the safe return of our beloved runners. Why would he steal... Are they any unisex shoes? Gazelles are, yeah, and jute mates. Oh, okay, right. And he's the same size. Yeah, that'd be something though, wouldn't it? Yeah. Imagine going home

with a girl the same size foot as you, Fletch. She's a 13. I'm a 12. I'm a US 12. Who just found out they were 13? Was it Ross Boss? He's been wearing 12s his whole life, and he's won his way against sore feet. And he's like, I've tried a 13 and it fits. I'm like, did that never occur to you? In all the

years of your owning shoes that you've got sore feet because you're wearing two smaller shoes. He's like, I was 12 when I was a teenager. I was like, you keep growing don't you? That's worrying. That's worrying that he's in charge. He can't even work out. He's got his own kid to worry

about getting the right size shoes for and he can't even sort himself out. Next, this is an absolute, this is one of my favourite posts of the week from Ella on Otago

Flating Goods. Found a wallet that belongs to Sam Dippy. Sam, I've got your wallet, mate. I'm also pleased to see you're practising safe sex

as there's two condoms in the wallet. Yep. And also in the wallet an ID card, and a card confirming that Sam is indeed a card-carrying, paid-up member of the National Party. Oh, okay.

The young Nats. He's a member of the young Nats. Right. She said, I'm glad to see you're practising safe sex, mainly because it looks like you're going to instil a strong national mentality in any future offspring, and New Zealand doesn't need any more Max Keys right now. Slide into my pro-green voting DMs to pick it up,

to pick up your wallet and some healthy political debate on the side. Oh, that's nice. So, you know, that's nice that she wants to return it. I know, because she's a greenie. She could have chucked that or recycled it somehow. I was going to say chuck that in the bin. Oh, no, it looks like fake leather. Oh, okay. She probably that in the bin. Was it a... Oh, no. It looks like fake leather.

Oh, okay. She probably would have been pretty upset if it was real leather. But I mean, the cow's dead. Bing. Chucking the wallet in the bin is not going to make it alive again, is it?

Yeah. And finally, from the Christchurch Buy, Sell and Trade Anything page, Christina writes, looking for a nanny. My husband and I

work full time. Hubby will be taking maternity leave for the first 18 weeks of our baby's birth. And then we need someone for daytime hours after he goes back to work. Must be reliable and honest. Can offer a live-in situation. Must not be attractive.

I've watched too much TV. And even though my husband is trustworthy, I'd rather not chance it. Must have references. Oh, brilliant. Can you state that? Because then if you get the job, you're like, oh. Well, there's a few people going, I fit the criteria, but I also think a little bit too highly of myself

to consider myself ugly enough to apply for this job. Best of luck filling the vacancy. Those are today's community notices. If you see anything on your local Facebook page, homemade plunger related, nat card carrying young nat lost wallet related, or sexy nanny related, you can send it to

ours. We're FVMZM on Facebook. The kids are away for school holidays, so make the most out of that and go to restaurants that you perhaps wouldn't take your children to is the parental lesson and the motto of today's lesson. So Shardé and I went to a restaurant the other night, on Sunday night, and we sat down and when you've never been to a place before and they say, now have you been here before?

Oh, yeah, yeah. And you say, no, I haven't. Yeah, and if you haven't, they're like, well, you know how it works. But when you haven't, they're like, so basically the idea is you order it and it comes out as it's ready. It's tapas style. It's meant to be shared. Yeah.

Which is just what every restaurant says to you. If someone says, have you been here before? I just assume I'm about to get the spiel about how it's all meant to be shared and it's going to come out of the kitchen because that's like what restaurants are doing at the moment, right? That's the cool thing about it. But it's confusing because there's big plates and small plates and sharing plates and like entrees.

But see, I can judge that by the price. Oh, but not always. Not always. Not always. Oh, yeah, but then I also know that shrimp costs more than mints. So you're going to get more mints per buck than your shrimp, you know? Yeah, right. But, you know, I'll always hear the spiel

and I'll always hear the specials. That annoys some people when I I'll always hear the specials that annoys some people when I always want to hear the specials they're like you know tonight's specials I'm like no please tell me because I've memorised it

so I want to hear it but also I often do order off the specials anyway we were asked if we'd been there before I said no okay and they gave us the spiel

about the tapas and how it all comes out when it's ready I was like, lovely. I love that. I personally love that way of dining, is what I said. And my wife said, how many dishes would you recommend between two people? Okay.

And the guy said, three should be sufficient. Hmm. You never know if you can trust them. If you're going to go for the big ones, three should be sufficient. Okay. If you're going for the smaller ones, these ones up here, five. Okay. Because they're a bit smaller.

Right. Okay. And so he went away. Yeah. And I said to Sade, well, I just want to try all these different ones. Okay. Which ended up being five of the big ones. Okay.

Okay. Five big plays. And one of the small ones. Okay. Right. Okay. What was of the small ones. Right, okay. What was the small one? I couldn't say no to it. Anyway. But again, children away.

Mum and Dad have got a plate. Yep. So the guy comes back and so I run through what we want and he stops at the end and he goes, and he looks at me and I'm like, you're right, jasmine rice as well. Okay. Got to have a bit of rice. Yep. And he'm like, you're right, Jasmine Rice as well. Okay. Got to have a bit of rice.

Yeah. And he's like, whew, hungry are we? To which I took as a compliment of, yes. But when he walked by and shouted, I was like, oh, my God, does he think he thinks we're big, greedy pigs? 100%. I was like, oh, well, I guess it's just because he told us three would suffice, but then we directly went against his orders

and got five of the big ones. One of the small ones. You can do what you want. Totally. You can do what you want. Also, he should be in the business of upselling. You know, he should be happy. Yeah, he should be happy.

You would have thought. See, I didn't get it. He was like being bitchy about it. Right. No, but you still passed judgment on how much food I'm eating. Yeah, that was sass. You got sass. And you know what?

Hungry, are we? Finished it all. Of course you did. Proud to say, I finished and there was some jasmine rice left and I just got the leftover sauces and I poured it all over the rice. I love doing that.

So good. Best way to do it. Yeah, mopping up the sauce like it's an oil slick. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And the rice is... What's the rice? Do you know, I think New Zealand, I was talking to Americans about this, like it's an oil slick. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And the rice is... What's the rice in this scenario? Do you know, I think New Zealand,

I was talking to Americans about this, like we will finish everything on a plate. And Americans always like leave a little bit. They're like, why do you guys always eat everything on the plate? I'm like, I don't know, because mum was always like, mum was like,

eat all your food or you're not doing anything. Yeah. You're not... Always something, eh, on the plate. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Even if they want to finish it, they always leave something there and I'll always be like,

are you going to eat that? Are you going to eat that? Are you going to eat that? Because we've paid for it. Especially when it's like a bit of chuck on or something. Oh,

don't leave the protein on the plate. No, no. Monsters. Leave a bit of bok choy or a bit of the leafy green. I mean,

that was a plate fuller at best. Because you're always like, oh, I'm so full. Then you keep eating yeah that doesn't mean you stop the new zealand way anyway we finished it and i when he came back to get the plates i was like thank you that was lovely any more sass no no no no it's almost like oh my god he did it i got it but yeah afterwards people we've told including you guys just by now, have been like, that's a bit of sass from the service staff.

Yeah. I was like, I didn't mind. But Sade was like, it was a bit like. Did she find it rude? Not rude, but she was surprised. Right. That it got said. Yeah.

Yeah. I would feel judged at the very least. But then you've got to prove it, don't you? You've got to prove that you were hungry. Yeah. But I was just wondering if anybody's ever got any... Because I remember, was it... When did you go and get ice cream, Caitlin?

You were telling me you were upset. Was it last week? Yeah. Well, because I had some girl issues. You don't have to sugarcoat it. I had my period. I was bleeding heavily. And then, so I went to get ice cream.

Well, you said don't sugarcoat it. Yeah, no, we were just saying I had my periods, not sugarcoating it. We didn't need the gruesome details. I went to get ice cream and she, like, I got like a whole pottle. And it was just me and I was like, yeah. A tub or a pottle? How many litres? It was like one of those big, like, it's not like a tub, but like...

Oh, yeah. I don't know how to explain it. A big round paper tub. It's like when you watch the movies and Bridget Jones and stuff and they eat out of that. I don't want to be like that. I don't want to eat out of the tub. Anyway, so I was getting there and she was like,

just looking at me weirdly. It was like she was judging me. And then you feel like you have to be like, it's actually for me and my six flatmates. I know, I said that. I was like she was judging me. And then you feel like you have to be like, it's actually for me and my six flatmates. I know, I said that. I was like, oh, me and my flatmate. And then she was like, okay, I love you. Me and my flatmate, Flo.

Who's only there once a month. It was probably just all in my head, but it felt like she was... You were getting some judgment. She was sassing you. She was sassing me. You were getting... I was just wondering if anybody else had had it.

If anybody else had... Because as you say, I would have thought their job would have been to put as much food on the table as possible. Yeah, like you order a big meal, and they're like, oh, hungry. I've had it before in a small restaurant. I've loaded up my plate,

and someone who was working there was like... But I took that as a compliment of like, man, that dude knows how to stack his plate. Oh, right. This happens to me a lot and I've never taken it as an insult. All right, so 0800-DARLS-AT-M-9696. We'll take your calls and your texts.

When have you got sass? When you've been ordering food. Or buying food. Or buying food, yeah. Yeah. Because you think about it, the supermarkets before self-serve checkouts, you might have thought twice about what you put through,

like Caitlin's ice cream. But also at supermarkets, I feel like they're stuck there and they need to conversate with you because it's real awkward if it's all just sitting in silence. So they might be like, oh, big night planned, is it? Yeah, no, but then you get chips and ice cream and fizzing and stuff and they're like, you've got a party and you're like. No. Yep.

Lots of people are enjoying this. No, just me. And Netflix. Alright, give us a call. I want to know this morning if you've ever had any sass when ordering food because perhaps the person taking the order thinks maybe you're ordering too much. Some text

messages in on the subject. We ordered, for starters, we were out for a meal. Yeah. And we ordered two garlic bread pizzas, for starters. The waitress took our order and then came back and said, look, sorry, I walked away. You sure you want two? Like one for you, one for you.

We said, yes. And she said, it's just that they're They're quite big Do you think You want to do it Like before your meal Which to me Kind of makes sense

You know They were thinking You're filling up On the cheap stuff And then you're skipping Before paying the top dollar For the mains right Maybe

Yeah maybe Maybe Or you can do both We can have a Garlic bread pizza each And then a main Someone messaged in Much like you've worn I'm all about trying Many things on the Or you can do both. We can have a garlic bread pizza each and then a main. Someone messaged in, much like you've worn them all,

about trying many things on the menu. We went to a restaurant and we ordered a whole bunch of different curries for myself and my partner. And they came out and they said, do you sure you want all these different curries? I said, yeah, we want to try them all. And they're like, it's quite a bit. Do you guys need that? Do you want them smaller? And they said, no, no, we'll just try them all. And they're like, it's quite a bit. Do you guys need that? Do you want them smaller?

And they said, no, no, we'll just take the leftovers at home. Those leftovers are like, okay, that's, I mean, it's up to you. I mean, it's up to you. It's great. They sounded like they couldn't be bothered cooking. Yeah, I don't know. Or like charging them. Maybe some of them weren't the bulk made ones that they had to make from scratch.

Sasha, when were you sassed buying food? So we go grocery shopping at Countdown, and they always have, like, the fundraising sausage hustle outside. Oh, yeah. So we go at lunchtime, we do our grocery shopping, and then we get two sausages each to eat on the way home. Yeah. And we met on Sunday just gone, and the guy was like,

so where are the other two people? Oh. I am having two sausages. One fundraising sausage is never enough. Exactly. Because one's like a snack and like two's a bit more get your story. Did you just lie and say oh they're in the car?

I honestly had nothing to say because right on the tip of my tongue was aren't you supposed to just take my money? Yeah, exactly. Aren't you fundraising? Be happy. You're sure taking the fun out of fundraising. Thanks for your call, Sasha. Renee, when were you sassed ordering food?

Okay, so me and my partner, we literally, we eat out quite a lot, right? And I'm like, I'm quite a small person. He's like just under six foot. So whenever we go out to eat, he chooses really lame meals like fish and salad or club sandwiches. Okay. I'm like, I'm a real ribbed girl, like big burger, big meal. So literally every time the food comes to the table, they kind of like go to put the big meal on his side. And I'm like, no, no, no, honey, honey, this side, this side.

What's up, honey girl? And I literally kind of get, like, raised eyebrows, and I'm like, okay, I might be small, but I've been brought up to finish all my food and eat a lot. So I'm going to go with that. I would always say, now, who ordered this? Because I've had the opposite. My best friend, Ellie, is a very small person,

and she orders, like, really unhealthy things, and I'll always get, like, a salad. And they put the unhealthy things in front of me. I'm like, oh. Oh, no, you're dead. Oh, no, you did it. Throw it out. I guess I'll take it as a compliment, then, eh?

Yeah. Yeah, do it. All right, Renee, thanks for your call. Some more text messages. Some other texts. Somebody said they were pregnant, all through their pregnancy they had morning sickness from the moment they found out they were pregnant

until the baby arrived. So when they could enjoy food again, people were bringing them food at the hospital while they were in there. And, you know, everyone that came had something. Their husband would bring them treats that they hadn't been able to eat because the thought of it made them sick.

And I totally get that. My wife was the same. She was like, bush, cheese. And so the midwife came in and said, oh, look, I was going to see if you wanted a sandwich, but you're, oh, no, you probably will want the sandwich.

You're always eating. You're always hungry. Oh, please. no, you probably will want the sandwich. You're always eating. You're always hungry. Oh, please. Oh, please. So rude. Somebody said, I always order two breakfasts when we go out for breakfast. And it looks like, do you need, do you want,

are you sure you want two breakfasts? Is that, like, because that person's already ordered one. Do you want two breakfasts? They're like, yep, Bring me the two breakfasts. It's the most important meal of the day. It is actually. It gets your day started. It gets your day started right.

Sasha Baron Cohen has a new TV show. So it's not a movie, it's a TV series. He spent the last year undercover filming this. Because I guess everyone's been like, oh, well, he must be having a break. He wasn't. He wasn't. But it's weird. With shows like, oh, well, he must be having a break. He wasn't. He wasn't. But it's weird.

With shows like his history alone, the movies he's done, the likes of The Daily Show, John Oliver's show, even the stuff Late Night hosts do, Jimmy Kimmel, Jimmy Fallon, Stephen Colbert, all the undercover, the tricks. Everybody's trying to trick politicians and high-profile figures that stand for things. How are people still falling for this? And his costumes in this show

are not great. They look fake. So he's got like facial... They made his jawbone bigger and he's got like short... It doesn't look exactly like him, but I mean like... But it also looks like a costume. One of his characters definitely sounded a bit Borat.

I know, that's what he's going to say. His accent and his voice, I'd be like, hang on, is this Sacha Baron Cohen? So the idea of the show, the show is called... Who is America? Who is America, yeah. And I guess... It's pretty incredible. Some of it, because I've watched the whole thing, it's pretty incredible. Some of it, because I've watched the whole thing, it's out.

You can watch it. Neon is showing it and Soho. So he is a, is he from Israel? He plays different characters. Oh, okay. So he plays all kinds of characters. And basically the idea is he goes undercover, interviews people and they say stupid things.

Yeah. And he entraps them, and it's easy peasy. And one of the main ones is about guns and how toddlers should be educated in handling guns, right? Yeah, pretty much. Yeah, this character he's playing is wanting to start a program called Kindergardians, where kindy kids are trained to use guns.

Yeah. They say smart, intelligent. From three up. Yeah, not two. Terrible twos. It's called the terrible twos for a reason. But all these American politicians that he's interviewing are agreeing with him. Some of them are congressmen, right? And he asked them in the end to film a video promoting...

Kindergardians. Kindergartians, yeah. Kinderkids using guns. And they do it. It's ridiculous. Without even understanding really what the program is about. And they're all up in arms saying, oh, he's tricked us. Yeah, but you still said it.

Like a normal person wouldn't say that. You still agreed that young kids... Kids should have guns. Yeah. It's insane. Like a normal person wouldn't say that. You still agreed that young kids should have guns. It's insane. In the end, he, at the end of this segment, probably the best segment on the show, he gets politicians to read off an autocue to kind of promote this.

And he gets them saying some pretty funny things without even realising. I'm guessing because they're quite old. They probably didn't realise what they were saying. Children under five also have elevated levels of the pheromone Blink-182, I'm guessing because they're quite old? They probably didn't realise what they were saying. Children under five also have elevated levels of the pheromone Blink-182 produced by the part of the liver known as the Ritahara. This allows nerve reflexes to travel along the Cardi B neural pathway to the wheeze calipha 40% faster, saving time and saving lives. It's pretty good. Pretty good.

Was the whole show good? Or was there a couple of... All the political stuff was really good, but then he did a couple of where he went to an art expert and he was a guy out of prison, playing a guy out of prison. That was a bit lame. Right. Chucks in a few smarty jokes, which kind of like...

Yeah, it was a bit low. That stuff was a bit low, bro. And the other stuff was a bit lame. Right. Chucks in a few smarty jokes which kind of like devalues the... Yeah, well, that stuff was a bit lowbrow. Yeah, and the other stuff was genius. Yeah. So you kind of have this genius and smarty kind of... Something for everybody. Yeah, something...

Exactly. Yeah, but it's out now. There's news that you've got to be extra vigilant when purchasing off Facebook Marketplace, especially when it comes

to the likes of concert tickets. Now, we kind of know this from recent concerts, people turning up and trying to use tickets that they'd purchased off... Heartbreak. Viegogo. Viegogo was that website. Yeah, a lot of people were...

There was actual tickets, but the person had sold them multiple times, so it was literally the first person there that scanned their tickets, got those, the rest of them left outside heartbroken. But you've got to be so careful. Super careful. That website has a lot of complaints.

Well, this particular case is about one Whangarei woman who scammed people of nearly $12,000 for concert tickets that never even existed. Using a whole bunch of aliases, she sold a whole bunch existed. Using a whole bunch of aliases, she sold a whole bunch of tickets to a whole bunch of shows.

Yep. Rhythm and Vine's Ed Sheeran, Bruno Mars, Macklemore concerts, everything. You can never say Macklemore. Macklemore. Why can you not say Macklemore? Macklemore. There you go.

Macklemore. Why do you stop saying that? You always say that. It's because title, it said title, not Titlay. Just everybody knows it's Macklemore Vaughan. I get confused. I doubt myself. If your name was Titlay and it was spelt title, you'd be like, my name's Titlay. It's Titlay.

And then you have to respect that and call me Titlay. Macklemore. Macklemore. Macklemore. Oh, God. It's like how you can't say auntie. Auntie. That was better.

That was better. I just hit the T hard. Anyway. Or water. How do you say water? Water. Water. Water.

Anyway, all of those concerts had fake tickets sold. The tickets that never existed. Between October 2017 and February 2018, 25 victims contacted police with enough information that led them to be able to identify the one person running this scam. Oh, I'm glad they managed to catch up with her after $12,000 and 25 complaints later. Yeah, 22-year-old from up in Whangarei.

She had previously pleaded guilty to 25 charges of obtaining by deception. Oh, so she's a piece of work. Absolute piece of work. So how it was working, concert tickets were promised, but not photographed because of the whole someone could steal these if there's a photograph of them. This is where they're for. The money contacted through Facebook Messenger to a Facebook account.

This is the bank account. Put the money in. Got the money. Never saw the ticket. Blocked and deleted them on Facebook. And then that's it. They're gone. Yeah.

And then what? She just started a new account. So you could never find her. Often all block and delete and that profile would be linked to that concert that was coming up. Right. So all the money would come in and then just get rid of that and had multiple Facebook accounts. You're using a New Zealand bank account.

You've got to have ID to open that. It's going to be traceable. That's traceable. It's going to be able to work it out. One thing I would, I mean, that would be, I don't think I'd buy concert tickets off Facebook Marketplace. I mean, could you imagine the heartbreak when you turned up to share and if they were fake

tickets? Yeah. I'd only go through an official reseller. Of course. For share. For the icons. I'd only go through that. Here's a Facebook scam I was wondering. Have you got this one? I've received this from my auntie. And it said like, do

not accept so-and-so as a friend on Facebook. And it's got a name. Right. And it's like, the picture is of a dog. Their profile picture is of a dog. Don't accept them. They're no good.

They're a hacker. I'm like, how does she know this? Because she's probably been hacked. No, no, no. She's copied and pasted it from somebody else. And I wonder if someone just started it for a laugh one day. Like, they were like, I could do it. I could be like, don't accept Carl Fletcher on Facebook.

Profile pictures of him and a cat. Yeah, right. And so people get it and they search you and they see you. And then people's aunties are like sending it around. Yeah, they're freaking out. Yeah, probably. They love freaking out, don't they? They do.

If you're an auntie, by any ways, you know, your siblings have children or your partner's siblings. The minute you become an auntie, I think you become extremely paranoid about people on Facebook. But still think you can win a Range Rover by sharing and telling them what colour you want. She is in the country. She's joining us in studio right now. Bebe Rexha, good morning. Good morning. That was actually pretty good.

You're so reluctant to try the Kiwi accent and you've opened with it. I'm very open with it. That was a bit English. Bit of an English swing. How are you with your Australian? Because you've just been over there. Did you nail that? I'm honestly confused by it all.

I don't know. I just feel like now I have a weird unknown accent. Did you nail that? I'm honestly confused by it all. I don't know. I just feel like now I have a weird, like, just an unknown accent. Yeah. Like, I created one. Yeah. For yourself. Yeah, it's like English, Australian, and New Zealand. You just pick up a bit, absorb a little bit from everywhere you go.

I saw you holding a koala when you were there. That's an Australian rite of passage. Did you get a stinky one? Yeah, we went to a sanctuary and the guy passed me the koala. A lady passed me the koala. I was the first to hold a koala. And then after she took the koala off of me,

she saw that I had a wonderful stain on my shirt. Did it pee on you? No, it did not pee. No. Koalas find you attractive. He had a pheromone. He put his pheromones on me. It smelled

like the worst thing I've ever smelled in my entire life. And the funny thing is my whole team held him and not one person had that on them except me. Compliment? No, not a compliment. Not a compliment. Wow.

Okay, so no guy finds, I have no guy finding me attractive except a koala. It makes me feel so good. Baby Rexa, who's in studio with us now. I saw you on The Talk. That was just recently. The Talk. The Talk.

And you had a wee moment you had a cry just by meeting the the woman on the talk well because the talk the tour on the top um i the talk is a really big show do they have it here no probably not yeah we have to talk but like the talk the new zealand talk, no. The American one. Oh, it plays on TV? Yeah. Really? But, like, on cable. Got it. On cable, yeah. Well, like, I watched that show growing up. It's just, like, five women sitting around a table.

Not just five women. Like, you know, Sharon Osbourne and a whole bunch of cool people. But, like, I watched it every day at home when I was trying to make it. So, being there, like, the second I got on. I was, like, didn't care because I was, like, just doing my thing the whole month. And I'm, like, you know. And then, like, right before I got on, I walked on set. I was, like just doing my thing the whole month and I'm like you know and then like right before I got on

I walked on set I was like oh and it just like hit me and I was like it was it was cute I liked it but is there

another celebrity or anyone else that has had that effect on you when you met them no because it was full-blown emotion

I mean yeah I've met some people like that but I haven't ever like just cried like that I don't know so these songs i mean you've got heaps of songs that are famous like rihanna and eminem do you write these for them or do they pick from songs that you have yourself i just like write songs like i just write them because i like i feel like i need to get something out yeah and then then sometimes i never write for somebody it's weird yeah i don't ever go in and be like i need to write for this person so how does it work out how does it happen that they would come

and be like oh my god need a song desperate i don't know i really don't know yeah um but like yeah i'll just be like you know if i like them i'll be like do you want to feature on it or i'll be like no yeah let's try something else like together you know yeah yeah is it true that you have seen katie perry's boobs oh yes you're like yes no it's a great default to start from how did that even happen well like she's just so chill and like cool and like she's like i thought i was crazy but she's like crazy like but in like the most energetic amazing way but uh i went i was finished the last tour with her tour date with her and she invited me to her dressing room and she had to finish her meet and greet and she really had to get on stage like at a certain time so we were just talking and then she just literally started taking her clothes off okay and

literally those were the most amazing boobs i've ever seen really and i know everybody keeps asking about them like they are i didn't feel like i could so i'm glad that you know the boobs are incredible are they yeah they're just so full and beautiful right good and like pretty and like yeah you know what i mean like i have like i yeah. You know what I mean? Like I have a... They don't want to comment. No, I'm just treating my lady. I don't want to be a creep. I don't want to be a creep.

Yeah, don't be a creep. No, no. Don't even say anything. But like, you know, as females, you know what I mean? Like a lot of times I feel like, like, you know, we have to like make each other feel good. So she has amazing boobs. That's it.

I would like to know that I had amazing boobs. Why do I have to see them? Okay, no, no no no comment from this side of the room your honor tell us about your album what's the overall inspiration the overall the overall inspiration of my album i think what i'm trying to say with the album is no expectations you know when it comes to love and so i die the best is to have no expectations like when you hold a koala, no expectations. Or keep low expectations.

Yeah, you know, one time I went on a date and I wasn't really attracted to the guy at all. He was not my type. And I just was like, let me just go because I'm bored and I want a free meal. Did he catfish you or something? No, he was fine. And then, you know, he was like the same, you know, basic looking guy.

Yeah. But was it a blind date or was it a... No, I knew what he looked like. I was just like, but he was like kind of nice on... Yeah. You know, he's a nice guy, you know, so I said, I'll give him a chance. Yeah. And then I went on the date and he was awesome.

And that was very unexpected. I liked him. What was the food like? Because you said it like, you were talking about free meal. We went for breakfast. A breakfast date? That's an unusual date. I do that.

A breakfast date? I do not do night dates. I will not. I will check it out. A lunch? Will you do a lunch date? Maybe. I like breakfast because I wake up early in the morning.

I don't overthink and I just go. Is it so that you can say I've got to go because I've got something on? Yes. I like breakfast dates are safe. You know what I mean? Yeah. It's like you have your eggs, you have your coffee. Farewell.

Yeah. I like that. It's a good idea. Eggs, coffee, farewell. What's wrong with breakfast dates? No, it's just unusual. I get really nervous too when they invite me to dinner and stuff like that. I had guys ask me to fly me in a helicopter for a dinner date, and I said no.

I was like, no, I'm not doing that. I just do not like it. And then I like staying home. I'd rather have dinner at home, but that gives guys the wrong impression. It's like, come over to my house. But I just really don't want to leave my house. I just want to stay in it.

I'm not trying to hit on them. I just want them to come to my house and then tell them to leave. You've eaten. You've had your eggs, your coffee. Now it's time for you to leave. Well, it's been lovely having you here. Thank you. I'm glad I could share all my weirdness with all the New Zealanders. Like, that girl

is so weird. Thanks so much for coming in. Thanks, my Kiwis. New studies revealed that there is something that millennials hate doing. It's not working. Buying houses. Actually, all of those. Right. Saving.

No, this is millennials hate going out. So in the past, like, young people always stereotyped to be like, go out, party, you know, like, wake up hungry on the weekend. And they still do, you'd say. But more and more, millennials would rather stay at home. They say clubs are expensive. They smell bad. The bands are terrible.

And so basically they're like. All of these things speak to me. Like this, that's it. It's too loud, smelly. This is Vaughan's study. Oh, we walked in somewhere the other day and my foot stuck to the floor. Out. Ta-ta.

So what, they just would rather stay at home? Yeah. And Netflix. Alcohol's cheaper if you feel like drinking at home. Oh, yeah. Netflix and chills. Bottle of Chardonnay at the weekend. Lovely.

Lovely at home. It would have cost me a fortune if I'd gone anywhere else. Is it because, like, you don't have to go to a club to like meet someone now? You like do your dating. Yeah, it's quite interesting this study

because it goes into a whole lot of factors. Yeah, that's one of them. You do your dating separately on Tinder and then you meet up with someone.

Are house parties counted or not counted? It's going out. Yeah. I've always liked a house party. Even those seem to be shunning

those less. Maybe, do you think it's because there's more social interaction online? Yeah. I've always liked a house party. Even those seem to be shunning those less. Maybe, do you think it's because there's more social interaction online? Yeah. So people don't feel they have to go out as much and see people? And do you know another thing this study mentions is fatigue. A lot of millennials are fatigued in the big cities especially. Why? Because our brains just aren't going all the time.

You know, you've got to be through Instagram all the time. It's very tiring. I'm plugged in 24-7. I don't need to go. It's tiring stuff. Caitlin, does this ring true to you? Yeah, 100%. Two things.

One, I'm constantly tired, so I would just rather stay at home. But that's because you get up at a crazy time. There's not many people that get up at the same time as you in your age group. I nap as well. Okay. So I don't know what's happening there. I should probably get that looked at. I take iron tablets because I don't eat that much.

Well, that's good. But also, two, I think we need to do more day drinking. Oh, 100%. I went to a birthday party at day drinking. Oh, 100%. I went to a birthday party at 2 p.m. on the weekend. It finished at 6 p.m. I was like, this is something I can get behind. That sounds great.

That's perfect. And then you can catch up. Because also Netflix, there's so many programs. I'm quite stressed about how many programs I've got to watch at the moment. And because I'm trying to read books as well and keep up with that. There's just a lot to do. Life's stressful. And I don't even have a boyfriend. So when keep up with that. There's just a lot to do. Life's stressful. And I don't even have a boyfriend.

So when that happens, that's going to be too much. Why didn't you mention it? No, I don't actually. There's a surprise. I don't know if it's known or not, but it's quite a stressful time in my life. That's why I'm so tired. But Anya's the youngest out of all of us and she's like a nana. You're the most nana.

Guys, look, rest, recharge, recover. That's always resting. And I don't know if people know this, but Anya's just become a bath influencer. Oh my God. On social media. So if anybody, if any companies are listening that want to get on board, I'd say probably the best to get on now because when it really blows up, they won't be able to afford you. That's a speedy train that's just full steam ahead.

Here's the criteria for the bath influencing though. Highly allergic to everything. Good luck. What do you do with your... Good luck. What does bath influencing entail? So basically I just have some red wine in my bath and then I do that new Instagram questions feature

and then people ask me questions and then I just be really cynical about the whole feature. It's captivating. So you're open to wine sponsors? Oh, absolutely. Bath bombs. No, bath bombs have got to tread lightly. Just be careful.

Do you think you could do a code for watches or something? Holidays? Or protein powder because I could put my legs in the shot. I love it. She needs to give her Instagram a plug. Hey guys, that's Annie Henvest, H-E-N-V-E-S-T. Will there be a bath today? Well, guys, there's been a leak, okay?

There's a lot of issues behind the scenes. It's not easy being an influencer. These are the issues that, you know, we millennials have to face. Bath influence and qualms. You ain't sure there's a water shortage over the summer months because she's only jumped in on this and there's been plenty of rain lately. Yeah, yeah.

It's an issue. There's bath restrictions. You'll be a sink influencer. But do you think, though, that if you compare millennials to their parents, like, their parents would be more social? 100. Because you'd say you're the biggest nana here in Europe.

Do your parents go out more than you? Absolutely. Yeah, definitely. Like, at the weekends, they're out with friends? Yeah, and they just have a lot more, like, routine outings. Like, oh, book clubs and... Oh, yeah, the clubs, they were big on clubs and such. Yeah, and, like, Dad always goes, like, running with the same gang every week

and they go up for brunch. The Harriers? Are they a Harriers? What's that? That was what you called a group of runners. They're like old man shorts. You know they all wear shorts when they're in a running club? Yeah, it's pretty cute.

It's pretty cute. They have, like, embroidered shorts. It's real cute. It's real cute till you're sitting opposite them on a bloody bench. And you drop your fork and you have to go under the table and it's just a row of old wrinkly testicles. That's not so much fun, I can tell you.

I want to take some calls just on the back of this. Let's compare millennials and their parents. Do your parents party more than you? Are they more social than you? How bad are you and how sociable are they? But even like clubs

and sports, like... We don't belong to clubs, but they're all about it. They love a club. I don't even know where to like get in touch with clubs.

Is there a clubs, you know, a club room for clubs? They're out there somewhere. All right, so do your parents party more than you? 0800 dials at M-AT-M 9696.

We'll take your calls and texts. So a new study says that millennials don't like going out and that their parents are more social than they are. So we want to know if your parents are. If this is true to the study, if your parents are more social than you are. Some text messages in about this. On the night of my graduation celebration drinks,

I went home at midnight and got Maccas on the way home, tucked myself into bed. Yep. My dad went to El Horno. Oh, my God. What's El Horno? It's a bar. Just out to party.

That's, oh, my God. Because they say, my dad went to El Horno, and then in brackets it says, if you know, you know. Yeah. Oh, my God. That's Oh my god Because they say My dad went to El Horno And then in brackets it says If you know You know Yeah Oh my god That's yeah I started

And he didn't get home Until after 4am in the morning Dad Dad Dad is pretty proud of you He's pretty palming you He's stoked to be palming you off You're the real world's problem now

Somebody said Somebody else said My parents are super social They go out a lot. They live the high life. We don't. However, also, everybody should remember our parents can afford to be social because they screwed the housing market just so they can go to bingo twice a week. Yes. Never forget.

Casey, your parents are more social than you? Yeah, especially my mum. She's a bit of a party animal. And so what's your idea of a Friday, Saturday night? You like to be home early or not even go out? Yeah, pretty much. I'll go out every now and again, but, like, mum's next level. Like, her and my stepdad are just, yeah.

My mum brews. She what? She brews. Home brews. Yeah, like, alcohol. Oh, right. God. Wow.

So I'm imagining you've got some friends that pop around under the guise of seeing you, but really it's to try mum's latest drop. Yeah, pretty much. Like, I'll go to bed, like, at a decent time. Like, if my friends are over and stuff and we have a party at home, I'll wake up at, like, six or seven and she's still up.

What? It's probably something in that home brew. Yeah. Is she adding some guarana? I might have over-brewed, yeah. I don't know what these pills are, but they certainly made this home brew good. Thanks for your call, Casey.

Ella, your parents are more social than you? Ella. Oh, we've lost Ella. I believe we've lost Ella. Some more text messages. Somebody asked me, my dad and I live in separate cities now, but if I'm going to see him,

I have to book weeks in advance. And often I'll say, Dad, good flight special. I'm coming this weekend. And he'll say, look, I'll tell you right now, that's no good for me. I've got a lot of events that weekend.

He's the president of the bowling club, on the board of another club. He's in Toastmasters as well. Oh, right. My bedtime's 8 p.m. If I do go and see him, he'll arrive home after midnight. Dad! Loves it. Somebody said, my parents belong to a Chardonnay club, a Reds club, and a home distilled whiskey club.

So that's three clubs all involving alcohol. And they all have weekly meetings. Jeez. Mum and Dad might need to come and see alcoholics or something. You may be embalming your body with all of that home brew and wine. Somebody said, I was watching Netflix on the couch with my dog, very happy, and my parents came home,

and they were rowdy, and they wanted to continue the party, and they said, two Uber loads of friends are going to be here in five minutes. And I was like, no! But it was too late. The Ubers were outside. Melissa, your parents party more than you?

Yes, me and my friend took our parents, our mums away on a mother-daughter weekend, this weekend has been. Yep. And my friend's mum bought plane snacks, which consisted of eight mini bottles of wine for the plane. And my mum bought a whole bottle, a couple of bottles of wine and vodka

for as soon as we got up there. Oh, my God. Loose. And when you went out at the weekend, were you guys back before them? I think we all partied the same. You've got to kind of keep up with them. Wow, but you actually thought you had to keep up with them,

not the other way around. Yeah. Wow. Loose. Love it. Thanks, not the other way around. Yeah. Wow. Loads. Love it. Thanks, Melissa. I'm tired. Some other text messages in.

My dad drives a courtesy van of a club and then in brackets it says, I won't say which one and you're about to find out why. And one night he had a bit of success. Everyone was shouting him drinks and obviously you've got to stay sober if you're driving the courtesy van. And apparently the conversation at the club went like this. I know who'll be sober. Get my daughter on the phone.

That night I drove the club courtesy van and took old drunk people home until I flat out refused at 12.30 to do any more running around after these people and they'll find their own bloody way home. Oh, the tables have turned. The tables have turned.

It's getting cool to drive the courtesy van because your old man had a few too many handles. Oh, good times. FEM. ZM. ZM. Please. What? I've just pulled over to the side of the road and pulled on the handbrake. What?

Turn the car off. You start a Trek guy now. Have you started watching This Is Us? What do you mean? Are you watching This Is Us? It's not a coaster television show, This Is Us. Well, no, so you know how the list came out of the Emmys last week? This show was nominated, so I was like, oh, I'll give it a couple of episodes.

Oh, my God. I was like, I'm too upset. Are you hooked? I think I might be hooked. Are you caught on? Have you felt emotions? Human emotions? No, I haven't felt

human emotions, but I'm just like, this is quite clever and well done. Oh my God. This is the one with the Mandy Moore. Milo venting. Yeah, it is. Mandy. Milo. What? Yeah, it is.

Milo. Mandy and Milo are the main... Oh, yeah, right. Mandy Moore and Milo. I haven't even heard of Mandy Moore. There's already been some plot twists. There's been some mega plot twists already. Some little...

Yeah, nah. I don't know. I'll see how I go. This is groundbreaking. I've got so many shows to watch. Yeah, but don't do that. What do you mean this is groundbreaking? Yeah, it is. It's groundbreaking for you. I've got so many shows to watch. Yeah, but don't do that. This is groundbreaking. Yeah, it is.

It's groundbreaking for you. Because I've never watched it, but I know it's very intense. Yeah, I've always heard about how emotionally exhausting it can be. Yeah, okay. Well, I'll let you know if I, like, grimace a... Squeeze out. Squeeze out some emotion. If you need, like, a buddy cuddle or a buddle.

A buddle. A buddle. Okay. Because you're upset. What emoji are you going to send me? Oh, no, I'll be fine. Because it needs to be good. I'm going to be fine. Is there two dudes cuddling emoji?

Or like two dudes holding hands? Is there a two dudes emoji? There's two dudes holding hands. I don't know if there's two dudes cuddling. Okay. Okay, well, I'll send you that if I need help. If you need help. I'll be fine.

There's lots of episodes. I might give up on it soon. We'll see how I'll send you that if I need help. If you need help. But I'll be fine. There's lots of episodes. I might give up on it soon. We'll see how I feel. Don't try. We're so, I'm so proud of you. Okay, anyway, it's time for... Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Let's talk about golf, baby Let's talk about the ladies' tea

Let's talk about green maintenance In the 19th hole, let's drive a trundler, baby Let's talk about golf Do we have to? It's pretty exciting golf It's boring It's a pretty exciting golf effect of the day. Okay.

The 14th tee at the Carbrook Golf Club in Brisbane. Brisbane? Why did I do that? I don't know. In Brisbane. Yeah. Has a very exciting water hazard. Because man-eating bull sharks live in the water hazard.

No! And have done for many, many years. You can Google this, Megan. I can see you're... Man-eating bull sharks. Man-eating bull sharks. 14th hole. What else, Rust?

At the what what? A car brook. Car like the thing you drive. And then brook. And then brook without the A on the end. Google will say, do you mean? Carbrook Golf Club Brisbane has bull sharks in the 14th hole. What a hazard.

Good Lord, there's a video. Yeah. Oh, yeah, they're flying all around there. So what happens if your golf ball goes down? You leave it. Well, by the way, if you hit a... Oh, it's big. It's big.

Yeah, well, I've been there for a while. If you hit a golf ball into like a lake at a golf club, who gets that? The kids that want to climb in there. I used to do it. I used to go in and play a bit of golf when I was young. Yeah. And then after you're finished yep

you'd ring mum from the clubhouse and you'd be like mum we're gonna play the other nine as well and she'd be like oh bloody hell yeah

just my mum's default answer for everything yeah and then we'd go and jump on the um in the lanes and ferret around

and get all the golf balls out and then you can sell the golf balls to the old boys for like a buck for their like practice shots and stuff. Or if they're in good nick, you sell them for a couple of bucks

and they can play with it. Do you know how they got there? Yep. Oh, you're about to tell us. Sorry. I'm going to jump up on it there. There was a flood quite some time ago. This isn't like a recent flood. I mean, most of the news stories you'll find about this were in 2011 when it really took national headlines, but they'd already been in there for, some say

there's been one in there for a couple of decades. Wow. Because there's a river nearby with a little habit of flooding and it flows over the golf course. Now, when the waters receded once upon a time, there were bull sharks left in there and they had no way of getting out. Yeah, right.

And the people at the golf club were like, well, we don't know how to get them out. I'm not touching it. And I think there's enough water there that they can kind of like happily swim around and not be too bothered by it. There's a couple of deep spots. Right, because I was going to say, you don't want to accidentally become SeaWorld.

Yeah. You've captured some animals. It's a pretty big lake. Yeah, yeah. To look at it. It's a big, they call it a lagoon. Right. So I don't know if that's more to do with how it doesn't get too deep, more than the

size of it. And is it salty water? No, bull sharks can live in fresh water. Oh, they're fresh. Yeah, they can live in rivers. Yeah, they can live in fresh water. That's why they always forget that. I think they're verse, aren't they? Verse. Those sharks, they can go salty or fresh.

Yeah, yeah. Versus when you're both, eh? Yeah. Or you can do either. Yeah. So they, because they fight alligators and saltwater crocodiles. They fight them. Who wins that battle?

I don't know. I think it's a size thing. A really big bull shark would take a smaller saltwater crop. I remember when they were telling me this and I was like, this is so exciting. Where does this happen? And the guy on the jet ski tour was like, just over there. And I was like, get me out of here.

See you back at the arena. Bye. And I took off. So they don't know how to get these sharks out and they're kind of like, it's a cute little thing and you might be thinking, what are they eating? Well, they chuck some stuff in there every now and then. They chuck red meat in there for them every now and then. Yeah, yeah. Our elderly golfers that take a tumble.

Yeah, just push them in. Your time's up. Sorry, Ernie. But there's like eight to ten of them, too. Yeah, well, they're breeding. Good lord. Some of them, they say, would have known no other waterway apart from that lake on the golf course.

Wow. So today's fact of the day is the 14th hole water hazard Some of them, they say, would have known no other waterway apart from that lake on the golf course. Wow. So today's fact of the day is the 14th hole water hazard at the Carbrook Golf Club in Brisbane has the additional hazard of man-eating sharks. Fact of the day, day, day's mum, Bev, is on a tour, solo, left John, your dad at home, to look after himself. And he's just... Absolutely off the rails. He's taking takeaways and listening to national radio like there's no tomorrow. And she's overseas.

She's been in Denmark. She's in England now. We've been reading out a little bit of her travel blog every now and then because it's interesting. It's just amazing that she got a blog up and running. I was so impressed. With pictures. It looks awesome. Yeah, she's done a great job. She's gone like,

she's outdone us with the entries. There's just no way we can keep up and the photos is just insane. But before you touch on the blog Vaughan, I received an email from mum. Okay. It just it's a forward on from somebody else. Okay. And she's just put you might find this funny.

Someone else has heard the tour on Facebook. Who's heard you as well, mum? That's all she says. No mums keep it brief. I don't think she's pissed. But it's hard to tell. That didn't sound too angry. Yeah.

I've emailed her since. She didn't mention it again. Right. The forward email says, Bev, another funny thing. Our son Tim said, I've heard each day where you've been and what you've been doing. How, I ask? Did you have a Bev fletcher with you? Yes, I reply.

Well, he said, her son is a DJ and I listen to him every morning on the radio and he was telling us of his mother on a rose trip in Denmark. Bloody Tim's listening. Tim. And your dad won't. What do we have to do to win him over?

I don't know. No, Tim's the son. No, I know. That's what I'm saying. Oh, yeah. Tim's got no affiliation to the show. I know. For some reason chooses to listen, to which we thank you, Tim. Thank you, Tim's the son. No, I know. That's what I'm saying. Oh, yeah. Tim's got no affiliation to the show. I know. For some reason chooses to listen to which we thank you, Tim.

Thank you, Tim. But no, Tim's told his mum. Oh, Tim's knocked on us. Tim's mum. Thanks for nothing, Tim. Has told Bev that we're reading out her blog. Right. Bev's like, I hope you're not taking the mickey out of me.

No, I think, you know what? I think she secretly loves you. Does she? Because she's made this a private blog. She should have made it public. Well, I think, you know what, I think she secretly loves the attention. Does she? Because she's made this a private blog. She should have made it public. Well, the public

could have followed this. My mum would love to read your mum's blog. Oh, give her the password then. I'm sure she won't mind if Christine has the password. No, no.

Yeah, because she's going to all these places and then my mum would have a map beside her of where they had been throughout the UK with a red line

of the road that they took. And then she'd be like, look, she's come close to where we went on day 14. Ian, get out your, get out your, and then she'll be flicking through his because dad writes his,

dad writes his all on a bloody Croxley pad. Yeah. When they go, traveller's travel diary. Oh yes, Kristen. He has a diary. He writes a diary. Yeah, full blind travel diary

every day of what they did. That's cute. Blog without the photos. Right. But yeah, she's. Blog without the photos. Right. But yeah, she's gone overboard with the photos. We can't even keep up. I will pick out a few highlights, though. Of Bev's.

Bev was in England when they lost the World Cup. Yeah, she was. She told me that. Did she reference it? She said everybody's taking it pretty well. She said that on Wednesday we watched the Football World Cup semifinal with some friends. Everyone seemed fairly philosophical about the outcome, proud that they made it as far as they did. She's very blunt, isn't she? She said, however, when she did get there, she was able to do a load of washing and unpack and discard a lot of unneeded paperwork.

My trusty red sandals that I've walked everywhere and finally broke when I was at Doncaster, so that will lighten the suitcase a bit. How much are these sandals worth? They're gone now. They're in the bloody bin. And then there's a photo of just a random house.

Pretty sure this is the house John grew up in, but don't know. So she's just gone to the house John grew up in, but I don't know. So she's just gone to where your dad grew up and she's like, this could be it. Look, it's anyone's guess at this stage. Close enough. She took a photo of a trial bed of agapanthus. Okay. And said, here's a trial bed of agapanthus.

As if we don't have enough already. Scoffing there at people who choose to grow agapanthus. Here's don't have enough already scoffing there at people who yeah agapanthus right here's a photo of a brick wall now this brick wall was around the garden okay one of the gardens she visited and she said fake brick wall because up up close you can see and feel it's made of vinyl it's not even a real brick wall calling it like it is i've been very disappointed and i think like her her proudest moment is she took a selfie with some pals. Do you see what she's titled that selfie? Double chin selfie.

It's the angle. You need to give it up, up, go up, Bev. You've got to work on your angles, Bev. Bloody, like, there is hundreds of photos on her blog now. She's doing so well. She's walking across the UK. The width of it. She's on, like, day three.

I don't know why you'd do this. Like, I can imagine, you know, you walk a beautiful mountain range. Yeah. This is like rolling pastures in the green areas. You've seen Postman Pat. It goes up and down the little hills. I would walk all up on Postman Pat's village if there was a chance. Walk through this stone wall.

Slow down. Meet me at my mom's, Postman Pat. Vaughn, have you taken mushrooms again? Probably. Hey, Caitlin, producer Caitlin, we've got great news. Do you remember ages ago you got a few speeding tickets in that same spot? Yeah. We, yeah.

Which ones? Were we allowed to talk about those? It depends on which one. We, yeah. Which ones? Were we allowed to talk about those? It depends on which one. We already did, didn't we? No, I don't think where Caitlin was speeding will be exempt

because you got those going into the tunnel. The Waterview Tunnel. And then you weren't meant to stay at the tunnel so you turned around and came back through the tunnel at speed.

No, I got it because I was inside the tunnel. Yeah, so no, that's not changing. I believe that's not changing. But for everybody else on Auckland's North Western motorway that has received a ticket on the normal part of the motorway,

not when you're on the tunnel or the ramps that go into the tunnel, finally, after what feels like at least a year of being like, oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. We're going to lower that. We're going to change it back to 100. We're going to up it. We'll put it back to 100. Everyone is like, when does it go back to 100? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, yeah, yeah. We're going to lower that. We're going to change it back to 100. We're going to up it. We'll put it back to 100. We'll put it back.

And everyone's like, when's it going back to 100? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Hey, hey, hey, buddy, buddy, buddy, buddy, buddy, buddy, pal, champ, sweetheart, bud, mate. Don't worry about it. Don't worry about it. It's going back to 100. Yeah.

Is it going back to 100? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's finally happening. So apparently, yeah, it's finally going back to the 100km on the motorway part but still in the tunnel you're only going to be allowed to go 80. And that's where the speed cameras are because what was the statistics

were like ridiculous, weren't they? It was one of the most... 2.5 million dollars in that Waterview tunnel in 8 months. In 8 months. And that made it one of the biggest spots. I think there was a spot in Christchurch that was one of the biggest for tickets. Yeah. The speed camera finds.

Yeah. And then that just blew it all out of the water, didn't it? Yeah. That's not up till now, though. We don't know what it is at now. It only ever got put down to 80 on the Northwest and for the roadworks and everything associated to it. And it should have been back to 100, but it just kind of got delayed and delayed and delayed.

Yeah, and then they just didn't put it back up. Oh, okay. Miss moved to West Auckland lately. Some of us have been there since. Some of us have been there before the tunnel. West is best. My house got demolished. Well, I didn't own it.

Oh, that's right. Got demolished for that tunnel, so. RIP black mould on the roof. Also, we go 100K. Everyone goes 100k there anyway. That doesn't make it legal. No, because you go 80 and everyone's hurting past you and you're like, wow, if they're doing

it, I will too. The West Illuminati's coming for you. For more, check out FBMZM on Facebook.