ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Megan Podcast - July 18 2019

Episode Date: July 17, 2019

Ralph is getting the chop, Producer Caitlin's student discounts and who was your sexual awakening?See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

ZM. Head music lives here. Fletch Warner Megan, the podcast. Thank you, Anya. Good morning. Welcome to the show, Fletch Warner Megan. Can I say, this is the first in your news just now. The news that a 17-year-old was at Amok Parliament and speaking about her friend's suicide and reading from notes, because obviously that's a horrific thing to have to recount, so you'd want your notes for support. Yeah. To hear, from what we know, that Anne Tolley told her to speak from the heart and stop reading from notes to a 17-year-old, talking about her actual friend's actual suicide.

That's nuts. Megan and I looked at each other and our jaws dropped, and that would be a very rare thing that all three of us are appalled that is disgusting that is unbelievable unfathomable I'd heard the name Antola

I've just looked her up I'll remember the face that's shocking terrible that a young person goes to parliament because at the moment this is a thing that's happening. The people who go and get a taste for it

and see if that's something they might want to do. Goes down there and is speaking from the heart. Granted, reading notes, but speaking from the heart. And someone says, put down your notes and speak from the heart on your friend's suicide, which obviously has affected you so greatly. That's terrible. I mean, even MPs will use notes and read notes and make...

One hunt, they stand up with handfuls of paper and refer to them. Crazy. Disgusting. Like, read the room. That's terrible. Absolutely terrible. I'm sure she'll wear it today on social media. Good.

All right, you lot, listen up. It's story time. All right, story time. Three news headlines are interesting, quirky, odd news stories that I've found. I want to make and pick one of the following three headlines. Headline one, dumb waiter kills man. Headline two, backpackers try their luck in australia and headline three guests drop in for breakfast dumb waiter is one

of those things it would be like if you needed to get something upstairs yep you'd put it in and you'd pull the or you'd push a button or you pull a rope and it would go upstairs. So did a man climb in that and it fell and he died? Somewhat, yeah. Okay. Backpackers tried their luck in Australia? Yeah. Was number two? Yeah.

What was number three? Guests drop in for breakfast. Someone's eating breakfast, someone falls through the roof. You're close, close. Skydivers? Close. Closer. Am I getting warm?

Aeroplane. Paragliders. Microlite. Yep, close. Right, so they crashed. So Australia, backpackers try their luck in Australia. You like that one? Yeah.

Go on. Is it about Uluru? No, but I have been reading a lot of stories about Uluru because they're what they're shutting it down so you're not going to be able to walk up so everyone is like

we've got to get to Uluru we're rolling to Uluru and there are huge lines yeah I've always wanted to go there I actually looked at it at some stage it's so expensive

to get the flights there and then when you get there there's like five places to stay well that's an exaggeration. Maybe. You'd motor home. How long would it take to drive there

if you motor homed it? Oh, a week? I don't know. It's in the middle. Right, yeah. Of Australia. Yeah. So I think the flight's like a couple of hours.

Right. But yeah, and then you get there and then you're like, oh, well, what do you do when you're not? It's kind of a bit. I mean, you see it, don't you? You walk up it and then you're done. Well, you try to find that baby, don't you?

It's got stolen by the day. I think so. You put a bit of groundwork in for that. Well, two British backpackers were fishing in Australia and they posted on a backpacker's Facebook page a little find that they found. Look at this. It's a cute little octopus.

Oh, it looks... Really found. Look at this. It's a cute little octopus. Oh, it looks really poisonous. Because it's quite, it's colourful, yellow with dots on it. Yeah, well, you can probably guess where this story is going. They posted the video to a backpackers page, and that is when people pointed out to them that what they are playing

with is a deadly octopus with enough venom to kill 26 people in a minute jesus i don't know well i knew the octopus could do venom but i didn't know that they were that venomous yeah so apparently um well they had no idea either they were playing with it um and yeah that's when people started pointing out that, hey, you're probably pretty lucky there. It's a blue-ringed octopus. And they let it touch its skin. Their skin. They

had it crawling around on their forearm. It obviously didn't feel threatening too much. Well, yeah. It didn't sting. Does it bite or sting? I don't know. I don't know how it does, but yeah, apparently it can kill enough 26, has enough venom to kill 26 adults. Good lord. I don't know I don't know how it does but yeah apparently can kill enough 26 has enough venom

to kill 26 adults good lord is it a baby one because I'm just googled and there's like big ones it does seem it does seem like a baby one

so only as wide as his arm really wow they get pretty like intense looking so within minutes symptoms include numbness of the lips and tongue

difficulty in breathing followed by complete paralysis of the breathing and tongue, difficulty in breathing, followed by complete paralysis of the breathing muscles. Heavens. Yeah. So they're all good? They put it down? Well, they're fine because they posted the video.

And then they had some people like, hey, by the way, you're pretty lucky to be alive there. And they're like, oh. Right. Yeah. Let's just add that to another thing in Australia. Everything is trying to kill you in Australia. Oh, yeah, so it bites you.

It's similar to a puffer fish poisoning. Similar toxin. Right. But then they eat puffer fish, don't they? In Japan, only a certain part of it. According to an episode of The Simpsons. You have to know how to cut it. Right.

Isn't that right? I wouldn't eat this because I'm seeing a photo of this blue ringed octopus. The blue is very blue and you know how like the...

Highlighter. Yeah. It's like a night. Question, if you were marooned on an island, you're real hungry and a puffer fish

washes up or you catch it. You'd want to catch it. You wouldn't want to eat an old puffer fish. Okay. So you've caught it and then do you like

roll the dice on eating it? Nah. But you're real hungry. Poisoning death might be more painful than just starving to death. I know, but you're going to die anyway. I'd give it a burn. Are there any coconuts? No, you've eaten all of those.

Coconut puffer fish. I ate all the coconuts. You've eaten all the coconuts on the island. This is last resort kind of thing. This is last resort, like you're real hungry. Should I have diarrhea after all the coconuts? Probably. Probably.

No, because the water in the coconut's good for you. Yeah, it's electrolytes, you'll be fine. I reckon I'd probably have the energy to swim after all that. Okay, so you'd just find another fish that you could totally eat? Yeah. Right. Yeah, I'd be fussy. Flesh, Vaughan and Megan.

The podcast. ZM. Porn Hub, who, I don't know if they're the biggest porn website. Come on, leave me hanging here, guys. I don't know what you're talking about. I don't know of any others. I've heard, so there's Red Tube. Yeah. Isn't there like dirty youtube

i'm i'm going it's like the same sort of caitlin just in case i tell you ask i'm googling what the biggest website is for porn for porn oh now it's gone like a nasty i'm not i'm not the block what did you put hang on i'm gonna go news i'll see if there's any news google, nah, I can't Google too much without going into Going into it. Yeah. That's the problem with watching this as well. So, Pornhub seemed to do this very well in the fact that they released statistics that gets everybody like,

oh, interested. If you don't watch porn, it's interesting to know what's been watched by who, where, for how long, because they've got all this information. Like, I find it fascinating when they have, like, big hurricanes or something or big events overseas, they're always like, well,

this caused an increase. Polar vortexes. That kind of thing. So, they've finally released the New Zealand statistics on what New Zealanders are watching, who's watching the most of it, and what area.

And I tell you what, females, you don't get off scot-free, Megan. No. We know what you're doing while you're home before Mr. Toyboy finishes up at the cafe. 40% of females. Of the viewership of New Zealanders

came from females. Well, that just means that 60% was men. Oh yeah, but I thought it was going to be like 90%. So the average around the world is 26%, but 40%, yeah, 26% global average

of the audience of females. But we're very liberal here, aren't we? We're very New Zealanders. Are we? Are we? I don't know. I'd like to think so, but maybe not. Because we always do quite well on the how many people have you slept with list. If by well, we're trying to get a high score,

not golf rules. Yeah. We always do well that. And also, this is women are big consumers of gay male porn. Huh. Really? Would you find it hot watching two dudes hook up, Megan? It's not my cup of tea, but I'm not going to begrudge anyone else.

Because I was the other day. Anya just shook her head. I wasn't going to throw to Anya, but she just shot me this filthy look. Because I knew you were going to come and be like, Anya, what do you think about gay porn? Well, what do you think about gay porn? Well, what do you... No? No, it doesn't tickle my fancy. So I just would have assumed...

I mean, I can't speak for everybody, but I don't personally have never spoken to any females that do. But then the other day, there was these two really good looking guys. Yeah. I'll give you the backstory. Where is this going? Okay, so we were doing a get together a bit of a rehearsal for Have You Been Paying Attention? really good looking guys. Yeah. I'll give you the back story. Where is this going? We were doing a get together,

a bit of a rehearsal for Have You Been Paying Attention? Yeah. And a guest on the show was Don't name. A CrossFit instructor. I'm not going to. A CrossFit instructor and he brought his mate in.

Yeah. And when they introduced himself, he said, this is my other half. And I thought he meant partner. Gay lover. But he meant other half of like his duo. Oh, right. A bit like if I said, this is Fletch, my other half. And I thought he meant partner. Like a gay lover. But he meant other half of like his duo. It would be like if I said this is Fletch

my other half. Right. I mean we've had a Google search. Yeah I know. The guy I work with but not my lover. But I was like holy shit. Like that would be an intense thing to see happen. Okay. And I said to some females there I was like

when they said other half did you get the feeling they're like romantically linked? Two of the women thought the same as me. One of them was like, no, they're like business partners or something. Right. But the two women who thought the same as me were like, that would be a hot watch. And I was like, really? You're the first females I've actually spoken to that would think two dudes hooking up is hot.

Yeah. But apparently not. Apparently the prudes that I hang out with are in the minority. So... Well, why aren't you admitting it to us then? No, but... You're all watching it, but you're not admitting it to us. I would like to bring up the TV show What If,

which you haven't watched. Is that with Renee Zellweger? Yeah. Okay. There's three men in that at one point. And that's, we've all discussed how. Why are you writing it down? Just remember it.

What if. Carry on, Megan. We've all discussed it, but that's quite, that was quite a sexy scene. Wait, so three men and no Renee Zellweger? No. Just three. What's Renee Zellweger doing? She's in a separate

You know, different storyline kind of Oh right, okay But she doesn't get to see it No, no, no That's upsetting for Renee Zellweger But that was alright Yeah See, maybe this is a gateway drug

Gateway drug to the gay part That is fascinating Because the stats don't lie No That's what's so amazing about these statistics. So wait, what percentage was that of females that are liking that? No, they just said

previous research said that women were big consumers of gay male porn. Wow. Other things we've learned about New Zealanders are the global average is 80% of their sites' traffic comes from mobile devices but in New Zealand it's only sorry, in New Zealand it's only 34% because 66% of people are still turning on the home desktop.

Just go to the office to do the taxes. Don't come in here, Mum, I'm doing my taxes! Mum's like, you don't even have a business. Regionally. It's important to learn these things! Regionally, Gisborne is the big. Gisborne kind of wins everything. It's fantastic.

They spend the most time watching it. They spend 46 seconds longer than the national average watching it. We're down to seconds. Yeah, they've got it down to seconds. The regional difference in seconds. So Marlborough is two seconds above and Wellington is one second under. Marlborough. Okay.

So that's like the other closest to the national average. Marlborough, if the Sunshine Hours war with Nelson's anything to go by, they don't like losing. So I wouldn't be surprised if they're so kind of. Nelson's beating them. Nelson spends nine seconds higher than the national average. That's probably because Megan's dad doesn't know how to shut down the browser. Where's my mouse? Oh, the browser. Where's my mouse?

Oh, my God. Where's my mouse? Ray, Rowan, how do I find the mouse? Shake it. This is too real. Shake it and it'll get put on the screen. I've already shaked. Oh, you mean the mouse.

One. Thank my father. So Otago spends the least amount of time, 31 seconds lower than the national average. It's Gigatown. Because they get loads so much quicker. Click, done. Done, done.

Shake the mouse, find that, shut it down. The whole place is Gigatown. And Gizmon also wins the top gay viewership regions in New Zealand. Really? 36%. Which is way higher. The average New Zealand, the average,

4.25 and Gisborne's at 36%. What about, do you remember my hometown of New Plymouth years ago came up top in searching bombs and gay porn? You don't register? No, Tasman District they have a second, most likely. Then Auckland, Hawke's Bay, Manawatu, Waikato and Northland.

Yeah, I'm sorry to tell you it's not. But you do watch, Taranaki watches porn for 13 seconds longer than the national average. Again, that'll be your dad trying to shut down. Nacky Hart. Cool. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. Whoever is paying for your Netflix should check their account

Because you're still leeching off mum and dad aren't you? Yeah, well no they know about it We all leech off mum and dad There has been a case in Auckland where a Netflix customer has been charged twice in the same month. I've heard a couple of these stories.

They made Netflix aware of it and apparently Netflix refused to refund one of the payments. So it was $18.49 on May 22nd and then on May 30, another $18.49. Paid twice. I'm just logging on.

$18.49. Was Netflix even around there? No, 1849 was the payment. I remember 1849. Aren't you like 180 years old? I am, yes. Netflix. No, see, there was one on the 1st of July

and then, yeah, so I'm good. I'm good. 1849. So it's coming from different, the two charges are coming from different places. So one was Netflix New Zealand and one was Netflix Los Gatos. Is it a scam? Have they been scammed?

Maybe. Netflix Los Gatos. That sounds like a drug cartel, doesn't it? Yeah. From Netflix's series. It's a spin-off. Yeah. Los Gatos.

Los Gatos? Is it a thing? Is it a thing? Is it a place? Yeah. Well, yeah, it's come up with a whole, but it's all in Spanish, so I can't really see it, can I? Well, yeah, whoever is playing. Yeah, okay, it's in Spanish. Did they do some travelling?

It's a town in California, Los Gatos. Did they go to America? No. Oh, okay. But also, you'd think if you made Netflix aware, they'd be like, oh, yeah, well, I don't know what's happened there. Refund. But no.

No. All right, we'll keep an eye on that. And maybe stop going to dodgy websites too. And using your logon details and places. Yeah. From the ZM Think Tank, this is the Top Six. Hello there. There is going to be new standards introduced to make furniture safer,

reducing the fire risk, but just making furniture safer. The product safety policy statement is at the moment just a guideline, but it could be made mandatory. And you might be thinking, why? Well, this is pretty insane. The average three-piece sofa suite now has the combustible potential of 10 litres of petrol.

Because it's made of foam and foam is a petroleum by-product. 10 litres of petrol while I watch TV, Netflix. Unbelievable. Melt it down and put it in your car and you might get the town on back. What if you're having like a singing on your couch?

People do. Mega. It's insane. Like that is a huge risk. If you dropped it, if you like fell asleep with it in your mouth, that's very, very bad. But if you like, even if you're smoking inside and you dropped it for a moment, it has the potential to fully like light up in flames. And think about you and Mr. Toyboy when you put out your love-making tea light candles.

Yeah. Drop that on the couch. Well, luckily, she's always putting it on his nips. So it's not like... But if you miss... He's not combustible. No, he's not. Well, not at this stage.

He's not, no. But if you miss, just be warned. Yeah. All right? So, yeah, the residential fires are just, and this was a fact of the day. Remember a fact of the day a couple of weeks ago about how the average time it takes your house to burn down

has dropped by like 70% due to the materials used in open plan living and these extremely combustible pieces of furniture. Goodness. So the top six ways to make furniture safer because we shouldn't just stop at fires. Number six, you know, tables? Yeah. They're pretty high. Goodness. So the top six ways to make furniture safer because we shouldn't just stop at fires. Number six. You know, tables? Yeah. They're pretty high.

Yeah. We should lower them all to about shin level because then they'll constantly be reminding us that they're there. I've got a coffee table that is shin level. Oh my, I did it once. That's shut. I said, should we get a coffee table? I'm like, no.

It's just something you can walk into. I have a side table where you never walk. If you're having a coffee on the couch, you can sit it on. But coffee tables are just shin killers. Have you seen those ooh-la-la couches that have built-in tables or like hard kind of side breast things? Oh, yeah. Fancy.

Yeah. That's what you need. So you don't spill your pasta. I'd want them like an Air New Zealand, like if you're sitting in the front row of the seat so you can flop the table out, but you can hide it so nobody knows it's there. That's obviously handy, yeah.

Classy. Number five on the list of the top six ways to make furniture safer. Stools, you know, stools, they're quite dangerous. Fall off a stool. So let's put backs on them, make them shorter and make sure they always have four legs. So basically, just chairs. Just chairs.

Just chairs. Great idea. Stools must become chairs. Speaking of chairs, number four, chairs with seat grips on them. You know the stuff that you put in the bottom of the shower

if an old person's coming? Yes. Those, but on chairs so you can't slip off a chair. Yuck. I mean, it's going to be a little bit prickly. It's like a sharkty mat on your chair. Like, they've got

little suction cups on them, eh? Yeah. They have those in hotels and motels and they, like, drape them over the bath and you're like, I'm not touching that.

It looks like an octopus. Yeah. It looks like, yeah, an octopus tentacle but a really flat, fat, wide one. Yeah. And it's always, like, brownie, yellowy.

But you're right, pulling them off is cool because it goes... Number three on the list of the top six ways to make furniture safer are the flammability, not a word, of beds is a big problem. So my idea is to make beds of asbestos. Oh, yeah, okay. Because asbestos is famously a flame retardant. Okay.

What could go wrong there? I don't know. Ask the building industry. Absolutely nothing bad has come out of asbestos. Number two on the list of the top six ways to make furniture safer.

I say we make bookshelves illegal because bookshelves are always made of wood and sometimes like that compressed stuff, that MDF. So that goes up real quick. And what do bookshelves hold?

Books. And what are they made of? Flammable. Paper. Very flammable. It's basically a bomb. It's a bomb in the family room, all right? So get rid of bookshelves altogether.

And the number one way to make furniture safer in today's top six, seatbelts on your couches. Oh, yeah, okay. Seatbelts. So you sit down and you buckle yourself up. Yeah, you don't fall off. Yeah, you can take it off if you need to get up and go to the bathroom, but we recommend remaining seated and having your seat belt on at all times

should the family lounge hit turbulence. That is today's top six. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. So Vaughan Smith. Yes, Megan. You, I think, required to apologise to someone today on the show. Intern Anya's in here. Can you think of why you might need to apologise to Anya?

Yeah. So. Straight up. Anya and I share an interest in fried chicken. That's putting it lightly, I'll add. Where we often chat about chicken wings. Well, because people don't know this, but Intern Anya is actually

a food influencer, an Instagram food influencer. At Henny's Noms. How many followers do you have now? At least a thousand, I think. Because I had someone say to me at the weekend, this is, we had fried chicken here because Intern Anya's Instagram. Whenever we go, we want to go somewhere, I always check Henny's noms.

See if she's been there, what the recommendation is. How influential. So you'd say I've got my finger on the pulse of the food scene. Oh, fried chicken. Well, a chicken outlet, it's like a chain. Kind of. It's not KFC. It's another chicken outlet.

I got some targeted advertising Earlier in the week On social media Saying that they were bringing An eight pepper chicken Wait how many Wait Eight different peppers

Eight different peppers Involved in the sauce How many peppers are there Yeah I'm imagining There's lots of peppers I can think red Black and green

And white How many peppers Red black green white There'd be Surely thousands of Are we talking like Pepper peppers Like Well pepper corns All sorts of... Are we talking like pepper peppers?

Well, pepper corns. All sorts of peppers. All sorts of peppers. Bell peppers. All sorts of peppers involved in the sauce. Oh, my God. And I said to Aunty, this has got us written all over it. And she said, well, I'm going to have to come to Henderson. And I said, well, there's a couple out west.

We've got options. So you discussed this. Oh, we discussed it at length, didn't we? Because I'd had chicken. I'm not saying the name because I can't fully remember it. It's Texas something. Chicken. I'm having trouble remembering the name.

I'm having a lot of trouble here. Oh, my God. Yeah, righty-o, it's called Texas Chicken. What did you think it was called? Like Texas Hold'em Chicken or something? And like all good fast food chains, when it launched, it launched in South Auckland and West Auckland. That's where the money is, baby.

Go to the people, baby. I thought you were talking about some kind of fancy restaurant where they ate pepper chicken, but it's like... No, no, it's like a fast food. Yeah, for sure. I think it's American and it came here and I'd had it before and it was all right. But then when the eight pepper chicken came in, I was like, this looks good.

Okay, yeah. It's got the sauces, it's got eight peppers, it's fried. It's crunchy fried too. That's another good thing about it. It's always crunchy fried and it had sesame seeds on top. And I was like, everything about this is with a touch of. So yeah, it sounds like you're talking like you've sampled it. Well, here's the thing.

Last night, because the kids are away, my wife and I were like, what should we do with all the spare time we've got? Let's go and see that movie Yesterday. Oh, great movie. Sweet. Really sweet. That's what we needed because we haven't seen like a really just sweet movie, like a cute movie.

So we went there and lo and behold, the cinemas we went to in West Auckland had the Texas chicken. So you were like, well, I'll just do this. In the same car park. And where we parked was exactly in the middle of the chicken in the movie. So I was like, let's get the chicken. Well, and Anya feels betrayed because you'd made a date. Here's the beef I have with this situation.

Well, it's the chicken that you'd have with this situation. Here's the chicken she has. You came to me with the suggestion of fried chicken. You got me, you got my taste buds all tantalised about this chicken. And then 12 hours later, I get a video of you eating it with your wife. That's not brothers. To be honest, I felt that your reaction wasn't like a really like, you were like, it's something I could probably squeeze in,

but it wasn't the usual reaction I get when we talk chicken. I think you'll find if we signed back to Facebook Messenger, it was a F word yes was my reply. Have you seen the movie yesterday? I have. Oh, okay. I was like, well, you should have invited her along to that whole date. To the movie and everything.

That's a bit weird though. Yeah, you'll just previously remember in this conversation saying the kids aren't home. Oh, did you? We're spending some time together. After chicken was there. Oh God, no, no, no, no. What do you give

your chicken rating when you rate a chicken? Out of five. Is it out of five? Mm-hmm. And what would you give it out of five? The eight pepper chickens

specifically? Yeah. I'd give four out of five. Oh, okay. Like it was really, really good. That's rubbing they had some hot wings they weren't hot enough

if you're gonna call something hot wings it's gotta give it hot for these here's the weird thing so we sat in this restaurant yeah

and there's a group beside us yeah they bought their own drinks you can't do that you can't take your own drinks it's not BYO they had a big bottle

of coke no sugar on the floor and like little cups and every time someone wanted a drink they'd pick it up and the girl working there just seemed so blasé

about it. Now I'm always of the opinion of are you paid enough to care? That's what I always wonder about people. I wouldn't care.

But it was just disrespectful. They were right in front of it. To like a big chain restaurant. Yeah. Yeah, disrespectful. It was just so disrespectful. And then I said a shout out. I was like, they've bought their own drink. She's like, don't say it loud or too loud.

I'm like, no, I will say it loud. Because they should know that I've noticed. Yeah. And then another woman sat down and she'd bought a Gatorade in. Like she planned on just wearing herself out so much eating chicken that she's going to need an electrolyte in. I was like, why is everyone bringing their own drinks to restaurants?

This is uncouth. You're in West Auckland, baby. Yeah, it's here. So, as I said before, the kids are away. They're having a school holidays break at my parents' place and they had a sleepover with some cousins the other night and mum said August has picked her sleeping bag and it was my old Dragon Ball Z sleeping bag

that I got when I was like 20 but don't worry about it. When I was 10, 20. There's no such thing as an age limit on enjoying animated TV shows, especially one as epic as Dragon Ball Z. I won't have a bad word said about it. Wonderful

show. And apparently she picked it out. Yeah. And I was like, couldn't be prouder. That's great. Put it on the gram, a picture of her in the Dragon Ball Z. Had lots of feedback of people, and people wanted to buy the Dragon Ball Z sleeping bag. Really?

Have you stumbled across an accidental investment? Yeah. Maybe. Maybe. So I put that photo up, and I received a DM from Ali. This is Megan's best friend and Caitlin's flatmate. Yeah.

And she said, oh my God, Dragon Ball Z. I love Dragon Ball Z. Right. And I was like, this is fantastic because Megan

won't have ever watched the episode. She's such a nerd burger. She's a nerd. And I said, what's your favourite saga? Because within Dragon Ball Z there's different like

parts of the story. Right. There's like the Saiyan saga, there's different parts of the story. Right. There's like the Saiyan saga, the Frieza saga, the Ginyu saga. Yeah. Boo, Majin Boo, Cell, Android saga. There's all these different chapters within the book. And she said... Megan's face.

It would be the Majin Boo saga, the start of it. Because Gohan, which is one of the characters, as a teenager was my sexual awakening. What? A cartoon character? Yeah, a cartoon character was her sexual awakening. Ali said this. Yeah. I did not know this about her.

Your best friend had a sexual awakening with Gohan when he was Super Saiyan Man. When he was older. He was like teenage Gohan. I'm not Saiyan Man when he was older he was like teenage Gohan I'm not surprised she kept this from me that's the moment

she was like I'm a woman oh my god I'm a woman what's happening down there yeah what the hell

wow so I also don't know if she expected you to tell the nation to tell the nation perhaps not perhaps not but she probably wouldn't be the nation. To tell the nation, perhaps not.

But she probably wouldn't be the only one who's a very spunky teenager. He's animated, sure, but he was still very spunky. Was it yours too? No, he wasn't my sexual awakening. I can't like really, I don't think I could pinpoint a like, could you? Probably in Space Jam, the female rabbit. But it's not like, you've got to understand what a sexual awakening is. It isn't that you want to have sex with that person.

It's the moment where you realise something about yourself. You're like, I have feelings of a sexual nature. What does it say there, the definition of it? this is what I googled. And, do you want the Urban Dictionary? No.

Straight up. We don't go to Urban Dictionary. No. We don't go to Urban Dictionary on the show. Well, sexual awakening, this is what this one says, means coming into your own erotic power. Conventional wisdom teaches you to clarify your sexual needs,

then learn to communicate physically and emotionally with a partner. Okay. So the first part of that was kind of what I was. Yeah, the first part is probably what you're meaning. Yeah. So it's where you're just like, oh, that's right. Okay. So and whether it was a heterosexual

sexual awakening or a homosexual sexual awakening that's where you're like right there's something more to life than

yeah right actually than playing games and bows and arrows like just from this quick google search a lot of there's a lot of

questions online like people wanting um I guess a definition of the sexual awakening yes what does it mean and people are asking you know what was yours different things to different people but if you were to pinpoint somebody who was your sexual awakening with the it could be a character

it could be a person yeah that's what i want to know this morning okay well we don't we don't need to get into details you can just tell us that and. And it's a judgment-free zone. Yeah, right. What about you, Megan? Because I can't really think. Any kind of heartthrob movie stars? Oh, Jonathan Taylor Thomas, probably. Or the blue cat from Samurai Pizza Cats. Now, was that Speedy Ceviche?

No, the other one. Samurai Pizza Cats. Wait, a Samurai Pizza Cat was a sexual awakening? Guido Ceviche. The blue cat. Guido. Yes. Guido was the...

Was it Guido? How was it a sexual awakening for you? Because he's cute. So, no, that's totally what it is because it's just like a... I was like, oh, and he like, he... Wow. Okay, wow. No, that was Speedy Ceviche, wasn, and he like, he... Wow. Okay, wow. No, that was Speedy Ceviche, wasn't it? Oh, was it Speedy? Okay.

Well, you've got the image there. What does it say his name is? I don't know. Blu's MRI pizza. Oh, no, it's Guido Anchovy. Guido Anchovy and Speedy Ceviche. That's very racist. Guido Anchovy was a little... Speedy Ceviche. Yeah, okay. So, we want to know Fletcher's playing coy, but we'll dig into the dark shadows of Fletch's sexual awakening

and try to work it out. We want to know who was your sexual awakening when you were like, Oh. Oh. Did they have to do that voice? Oh. No, it wasn't a, it wasn't a, it was a, oh. Right. okay.

0800-DARLS-IT-M, 9696. Who was your sexual awakening? I mean, Megan's admitted quite embarrassingly. I don't need to be judged with a blue summer eyepiece. No, you're not alone. We jump into these more next. Well, this is Megan's best friend who confided in Vaughn yesterday that. And Vaughn has told the nation.

She doesn't know, she's still sleeping. Teenage Gohan was her sexual awakening from Dragon Ball Z. Best friend who confided in Vaughn yesterday. And Vaughn has told the nation. She doesn't know. She's still sleeping. Teenage Gohan was her sexual awakening from Dragon Ball Z. And we want to know from you this morning, what was your sexual awakening? And wow, a lot of animated characters. Because, yeah, you're young, I guess. It's what you're watching at the time.

Yeah. That's so good. Hilarious. You're making me feel better about myself. It's good. Oh, but I don't know what it is about it being animated. Yeah. But it was like you, it's what you're watching. Yeah.

When you're at that age and you start thinking about it and then like a powerful, sexy character comes on and you're a bit like, oh, right. They made the blue pizza cat sexy. Yeah, he was always... He was winking and he had flowers behind him. 100%. Yeah, he was the heartthrob of the pizza cat.

It was a trap. He was. Because Elva was the leader and he was working on logistics and this guy was the sexy heartthrob. All right, let's take some calls. Jaylen, who was your sexual awakening? It has to be Taylor Lautner from New Moon.

Oh, was that where he first got his shirt off on New Moon, wasn't it? He was reawakening. Oh, Megan was dormant until that New Moon, was she? And then there was just an eruption. Oh, my God. A Vesuvius scale. Thanks for your call, Jalyn. Jordan, who was your sexual awakening?

I experienced my first chubby from March Simpson. No, we're not talking about that, Jordan. It's not. You didn't have to put it in a physical manner. It needs to go on hold. We don't know what this is. Hayley, good morning. Who was your sexual awakening?

Captain America. Captain America? Captain Planet. Captain Planet. Oh! Those green muscles. With our powers combined. The blue muscles and green mullet? Yeah, actually maybe. And tight, tight, tight pants.

And he was just a good guy. And the mullet. Yeah. Theme song. Captain Planet, he's our hero. Gonna take pollution down to zero. He's our powers magnified. And he's fighting on. I was going to put it out there after all this global warming.

He would be so, they should put him back on the TV. Yeah, we need a reboot. We need a reboot. Live action Captain Planet. Yep. I don't think it would animate well. It wasn't there. It wouldn't go well.

Thanks, you call Hayley. Charlie, who was your sexual awakening? Mine was Kim Possible. Kim Possible. You know what? There's been a few text messages about Kim Possible. Well, I ended up marrying a redhead as well, so I'm not sure if that was the start of that or...

100%. Yeah. There's also something weird going on with her and the green girl from it as well, so I'm not sure if that was the start of that. 100%. Yeah. Probably was. There was also something weird going on with her and the green girl from it as well. I think it was Shego. There was always something weird. You said there was a bit of some chemistry, sexual tension. Yeah, yeah.

There was always something there. Yeah. Well, I mean, certainly in your imagination there was, Charlie. Absolutely. In 13-year-old me, there was definitely something going on. Something happening. Something happening. Something up with that.

Hey, thanks, Charlie. Some text messages. My sexual awakening happened during my awkward emo phase. It was a Yu-Gi-Oh. I'm not judging. No. Somebody said I was playing Spyro 2. Yeah.

What? During my sexual awakening. It wasn't Spyro. Oh. It was the fawn. There was a sexy deer-based character there. I recently played Spyro Reignited and came across the character and I was taken back to being an awkward teenager during my sexual awakening.

I've been like, okay. Well, people are really opening up here, aren't they? The fawn was the female, right? Yes. She was a cute female. Yeah, she was a cute female. Yeah, right. I was playing Ratchet and Clank 3, Up Your Arsenal, on PlayStation 2,

and I fell in love with Courtney Gears. That was my sexual awakening, the character Courtney Gears, who I later found out was modelled after Britney Spears. Oh, right. Okay. She's wearing a cute crop top and stuff. Yeah, someone said, I believe my obsession with dad daddy started during a sexual awakening

to Optimus Prime from Transformers. Oh, yeah. It's that voice though, isn't it? Yeah. And he's so strong. He's like the boss and he's so reliable. You can tell he's muscly.

He's got more wheels than everyone else as well. Even as a Transformer, you can tell he's got guns. Yeah, he's like, Transformers roll out. And you can tell he's got guns. Yeah, he's like, transformers roll out. You're like, oh, dear. Oh, here comes a lifelong obsession with daddies.

Someone's semi-sexual awakening was The Predator. You know the movie The Predator? Oh, no. It's teeth. But they said it was just like really big, really muscly and just was unstoppable. And from then they've just been into roided gym guys. Yeah. With like massive teeth, protruding teeth.

Yeah, so many. And thank you for opening up this morning. Oh, I mean, we're laughing, but it's pretty amazing. Somebody else's sexual awakening was Robin Hood, the cartoon Fox version of Robin Hood. Somebody else's, timely as it's in the movies now, the original Scar from Lion King. Scar. Again, it's Jeremy Irons did that voice.

Yeah. That deep voice. Yeah, and technically he's a bad boy. He was the bad lion. Gambit from 1990s animated X-Men. I was just like, what am I feeling? What is this? Phineas from Phineas and Ferb?

No, that's nobody's sexual awakening. That's nobody's sexual awakening. Aladdin. Oh, yeah. Oh, he's hot, isn't he? Animated Aladdin and new Aladdin would have been many people's either, as you said before, Megan, a sexual reignition of an otherwise dormant volcanic plateau. Great casting.

All right. I sure hope this pre-recorded laughing isn't after something inappropriate to laugh at, but I just want to take a moment to say thanks to Spark for sponsoring the Fletch Fauna Megan podcast. You can grab Spark's $29 prepaid rollover packs and get stacks of extra value. Back to the podcast. There's something you shouldn't do if you are dating. You're going on many dates and you get

to the point where you start texting or even messaging on Facebook or Instagram. You should maybe refrain from using too many emojis. There's a study, there's research that was released that has found that 70% of Kiwis use emojis. There's a study, there's research that was released that has found that 70% of Kiwis use emojis,

they call it digital expressions in everyday conversation. But the majority said overuse or spamming of emojis puts them off a potential partner. It will actually put them off going out with you. So you could still use them

but just don't overuse them. Cautiously. Right. So 36% say they use them cautiously, and that is to clarify tone of what you're saying. Like if you were laughing or you found something funny, you'd go. Cheeky or being sarcastic, you can put a laugh at the end. Right.

But don't overuse the emojis. Because sometimes I'll put seven laughs if it's really funny. Should I not do it? No, you just go ha-ha-ha-ha. And that ends the conversation. You write ha-ha-ha. Sometimes I write ha-ha-ha, but also sometimes I'll change it up with an emoji. I know if you write ha-ha, that's token.

But if you actually write more than just two ha-ha-ha-ha, then I'm actually laughing. Yeah, I know. The most cautious group of people with 35 to 44-year-olds, they get scared by emojis and don't want to be using them. Okay, so if you're after daddies. It's a lot of daddy shit. What age group? 35 to 44, most cautious.

You want to cast the net a bit wider if you're after daddies. Narrowing it down to nine years. And then I'm guessing the older you go, if you're after daddies. Narrowing it down to nine years. And then I'm guessing even older, the older you go, the more they hate emojis. My parents, my mum goes overboard.

She just picks like, I'm like, why did you seem like a fairy with that? Like, she just like picks like a whole run of emojis. My dad's a fan of emojis because it's less typing.

Yeah, right. He's got like, his main page are the ones he uses as most regular and he'll just chuck those in like, just a shucker. Like, just to say he got the typing. Yeah, right. He's got like his main page of the ones he uses is most regular and he'll just chuck those in like it'll be just a shucker. Like just to say

he got the message. Okay. And that obviously means he's busy so he can't take the time to just be like, yep, gotcha, shucker. Yeah.

Right. But so if you're dating, don't go nuts on them. Lay off. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. Well, FaceApp

is all the rage Intern Anya just quickly we did run a poll this morning with a sliding scale are we over FaceApp or do we give it another few days or a week? Can we just go to Intern Anya for the latest for the pulse of the

nation? Yes so the nation thinks that anywhere between already over it and one more week will be at peak saturation. Oh, one more week. Megan's had enough already. She's like, stop it, everyone. Already.

But it's alright if you do it, eh? Except sometimes on your Instagram feed, you're like, that's a cute old, like, cute dude. Like an investment property. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like you can say that the neighborhood's going to come good. That's my mate. In 50 years.

Right. Well, 30 years. The app ages people 30 years. Oh, good. And there have been a lot of concerns raised. You may have heard this. A lot of conspiracy theories and serious security concerns because the app is made by a Russian company, which led some people to say, is this the Russian government tapping into all of our photos

and phones? And while it is true that the app is made by a St. Petersburg company in Russia, they have addressed some concerns overnight because a security analyst pointed out that when you sign up for FaceApp, you are giving it the, basically. It says, can we have access to your photo library, right? You're giving them all your photos. And you think about all the celebrities that have given this app access to their photos. Sam Smith.

The Jonas Brothers did it. Yeah. All these celebrities have said, yes, you can have access to my photo library. I mean, if you work for the web developers, wouldn't you just be going into those photo libraries just for a look anyway? Yeah, they wonder how photo leaks happen.

The millions of people have done it though. That'd take a little bit of finding. Well, exactly. So an app developer first tweeted that FaceApp was uploading troves of photos from people's smartphones without asking their permission. A French cyber security researcher, he investigated the claims. He found that no such bulk uploading was going on.

FaceApp was only taking the specific photos that users were submitting. And FaceApp have actually come out and said that we do that for, I guess it's just ease of the app working. It uploads the photos so you don't have to. Right. Sure. Are we all believing that? Are we believing that? I didn't do it.

They've admitted that it does take the photos when they're edited, but it's stressed that privacy protections are in place that should stop those images being abused. That's what Russian supervillains who want to use your face for deep fakes would say. Yeah, and they said should stop. FaceApp also did not explain or address the part of its terms of service that has caused probably the most problems in which users are asked to agree to give up the rights to any images they edit with the app.

So once you've changed your face. They own it. They own it. They own it. You don't own your image. But that's okay. I don't care. What are you going to do with that? Most people don't care, do they?

No. But yeah, it's crazy because you download these apps, you never read the T's and C's, do you? Except. Yeah, exactly. Scroll, scroll, scroll, scroll, scroll. Except. The other day I did an update on something

and there was 46 screens of things to read. But you didn't read, you just clicked those out. Do you think sometimes I just write a whole lot of crap to make it long so you don't read it? Yeah, just make it intimidatingly long, like 46 pages. Who's got the time? Yeah, that's why people go to law school for six years. Yeah, right.

Just to write pages and pages of crap. Yeah, I'm not calling my lawyer every time I need an iTunes update, am I? Hey, g'day, mate. I was just about to download this. I'm just going to send you through a screen cap of 46 pages if you could just get back to me once you've charged me $8,000 to read that. That'd be great. And they're like, you should be fine.

Cheers. Yeah. And they don't read it either. They just flick through it and they're like, yeah, I'm a lawyer, mate. You're right. It's $8,000. Yeah. Yeah.

Producer Caitlin's taking on a little extracurricular activity at the moment, and this week she had her first Tadeo lesson at an official tertiary education, and she just showed me her student ID before. A te marie, koai Caitlin Takuingawa. Ka pai. Ka, everyone Takuingawa. Kia ora.

Kia ora. Good on you for doing this. Thank you. Tell everyone, so how long is it? So it's a semester, which is like 12 weeks, and I have to do like nine hours extra a week. A week? And an exam and two papers. And 12 weeks, that's a week. A week? And an exam and two papers.

And 12 weeks. And you go once a week, right? Once a week. Once a week for three hours. Yeah. And I can't go next week, so I'm going to have to go during the day. Like, you can change the different courses

that you do. Student life, eh? Oh, it's hard. Yeah. I also call the bus, because, you know, being a student, I put myself into the mind frame.

It's a big night tonight. You'll be going out. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Thursday night. Thursday, Thursday. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. $3 handles or something. This is when producer Caitlin says that she's booked movie tickets

to The Lion King and has booked them and has received her student discount. And I am immediately sensing a way here to save money. Well, okay, so I only saved $2 on the movie tickets, but if you calculate that up across the year that you buy movie tickets. How long is your student ID for? Just a semester? What?

I don't know. That's a good call. Not sure. It'll have an expiry date on it, shouldn't it? Oh, yeah. It expires in 2022. Oh, wait. Okay.

So, how much is your course? Because you could do any of these papers, right? Yeah. So, my course was $89. $89. Okay. So, do the maths. $89.

You've already saved $2. Yeah. I mean, I'm not going to any course. I'm thinking of just enrolling but never turning up. Oh, what? No. To just purely to save the money. I just want the student ID card.

Why did it be cancelled? He's so busy. He's got such a full day. He's far too busy. He's definitely couldn't find three hours. He definitely couldn't find three hours in one week. To study. No, it sounds painful. And here's an exam. I haven's far too busy. Three hours. He definitely couldn't find three hours in one week. To study. No, it sounds painful.

And there's an exam. I haven't done an exam for like forever since I was at school. I know. I know. Could you imagine the pressure? And it's an oral. No, you're speaking. Yeah, it's an oral exam.

What about like the student flights? Can you get student flights now? Do you still have to be under a student age? Do you still have to be under 26 or something? I need to Google what you can get on a student discount. You can get student food.

They still do student fries at McDonald's. Like fries? Yeah, and there's student deals for combos and stuff. And the bus. Isn't the bus cheaper? Yeah.

The train? I need to figure out how to do that on my hop card. See, this is the thing. You enroll for a paper or whatever. Yeah. How long would it take you to get back this $89?

Do you remember if I, like, go to clubs and stuff, I use my student ID? Oh, it doesn't say my date. Nah, because you look like a mature student. And they won't want to be stuck chewing their ear off. At the clubs. Yeah, and you'll be the one at the front putting your hand up, asking all the questions.

Yeah. Excuse me. I've got a question. Yeah, but it's Thirsty Thursday. We're entering $3 handles. Hey, I'm a cool student. I can get down. Is yours called a student card or is it like an AUT?

It's an AUT. Okay. It's a really nice photo. I use my passport photo. Yeah, it's not bad. Because if you don't turn up, you've got a nice student ID. Do they just cancel it? Like, what's the deal here? Well, yeah, but if they cancelled it, you'd still have my passport photo. Yeah, it's not bad. Because if you don't turn up, do they just cancel it?

Like, what's the deal here? Well, yeah, but if they cancelled it, you'd still have this. Never. Yeah. Or do they check it? I don't know.

Does it have a strip where you can scan it or anything? Yeah. It's just a, it's just a, okay. It's a scanner. It's got a buffer.

See, that's a lot of effort that was in it to enrol just to get a dollar off or some free fries. Well, why don't you live through me and I'll just get all the cheap deals everywhere we go because I'm a student. But also, she's got it for three years.

Like, those discounts will add up. I know that's so long, eh? Guys. Three years. Bonus, because I'm going to be able to speak today-o fluently in 12 months, 12 weeks. Yeah. And then I can get cheap stuff.

What? I've got student ID in today-o. Can I have a student discount? Car pie. Nah, I don't know. You're not at that class next week. I'm get cheap stuff. What? I've got student ID in today. Can I have a student discount? Car pie. Nah, I don't know. You're not at that class next week. I'm not there yet. I'm really, yeah, I'm just learning my vowels.

Somebody said that ASOS does student discounts. No! This is what I'm saying. What? If you've just joined us, everybody's shutting down. And in 2009, you wasn't keen for this. Now there's a student deal at ASOS you're all for. Hey, if you give me $5 every time I...

I'll do it for you. What's the discount, though? Probably like 50 cents. Well, we need to do some research. I did not know there was shopping included in this deal. Oh, apparently these are uni days. Oh, I did get... Guys, I forgot to tell you, I got invited to the ball. Oh, apparently these are uni days. Oh, I did get... Guys, I forgot to tell you,

I got invited to the ball. Oh, my God. It's next weekend. And I might go, but I won't know anyone. That's short notice. Oh, my God. What ball is it?

It's just the uni ball. Can you take your boyfriend? No, that can't be right. You guys are going to a ball. That's too many people. Oh, my God. Could you please go to the ball as an adult student?

Should I? Yes. And you're going to do that as an adult student? Should I? Yes! And you're going to do that thing where everyone's just seen you in class and you're like nerdy and you've got glasses on and you ask heaps of questions and then you turn up and you've taken your glasses off and everyone's like, who's the hot girl? Like that, like American movies.

It's a night in ancient Greece, so I think we have to dress up. Isn't that just a toga party? Oh no, I have to pay for it. Well, how much is it? Well, because I'm a student, it's only $70, but if I'm a non-student, it's $75. Saving $5 on that. You get 30% off at Iconic.

Are you kidding me? Are you kidding me? 30. No, this is not a drill. Are you kidding me? No. Guys, I feel like they're going to take my card off me because I'm exploiting it.

We are going to be such a bilingual show by the end of the year if we all enroll in this today, of course. I've never been so excited. I'm so happy that you've done this. It's so great. Because she's embracing the Maori culture. Yeah. And because she's getting big discounts at the iconic car park. Guys, guys, this is Whangarei.

Whang, oh, wait. Whangarei? Whangarei? Whangarei. Goals. That's what it is, guys, this is Whangarei. Whang, oh, wait. Whangarei? Whangarei? Whangarei. Goals. That's what it is. I learnt that. Whangarei.

So you're telling me the Northland city is Maori for goals. Hang on. R-A-E-O. Whangarei. Whangarei. How would you say that, Anya? Whangarei. No, Whangarei.

Whangarei. This is Whangarei, guys. Are you allowed Are you allowed to take Anya to your oral exam? Guys I've had one lesson Give me a break ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan

The podcast Um This I mean Everyone Jokes about this happening But it seems to have happened To a Sydney woman

She Went to She frequents A nail salon And she said she's often thought that they were secretly talking about her

in Vietnamese. So she couldn't understand. When you go like travelling overseas and like someone, like people look at you and they talk, you're just like,

what are they saying? I need to know. And then laugh or something. You're like, ow. I mean, they might, I mean,

you know, rate yourself. They might not even be talking about you. Yeah. Well, that's what this woman was hoping. But she actually has a Vietnamese boyfriend. So she decided next time she would take along her Vietnamese boyfriend

so he could listen to what they were saying and decode. She's like, I just want to know for certain if they're talking about me or not. So this was in Sydney? Yes But then wouldn't they have seen the boyfriend and Yeah Unless he came in and was like, G'day mate You know, and had the Australian accent and they were like, oh well he won't speak Vietnamese

You wouldn't even take a chance though, would you? Or you'd say a couple of things, you might say hello or a pleasant greeting of Vietnamese to test the water. And then if they didn't react, you'd go all in. You'd go all in. Give them a Vietnamese greeting.

Hello in Vietnamese. Sorry, I don't know what that is. And he doesn't reply. You're like, right, give her hell. He's not knowing what we're saying. Call her all the words under the sun. Well, that's what happened. Yeah, so basically she said, hey, can you just listen and let me know,

like, are they talking about me? So he was sitting there and at one point he swiveled towards her and said, babe, she just called you a B. A bitch. I-T-C-H. Yeah. He said, actually, they're calling everyone bitches.

He just said that this fat bee wants her toes done to someone else. In Vietnamese, and they obviously couldn't understand, so wow. So they did end up pointing out that, yeah, they can understand what's happening, and her face just dropped and eyes went wide in shock. They looked panicked. And yeah, I don't know if they exactly got, you'd want your nails done for free for sure.

Oh, yeah. And then you'd definitely be getting a bad Google review after that. That's brilliant. I mean, it's rude, but it's quite funny. So rude. But yeah, I wonder how often that happens, that you get talked about in another language. Well, we've got to take some calls on this.

Surely, you're really rolling the dice though, like if you're going to do it, because you're banking on... Overseas, I think it would happen a lot. Like say you speak the language of that country you're travelling in, but maybe you still look like a tourist because you don't live there. Yeah, or they can hear you talking in a Kiwi accent and they don't expect you to understand. And then so they go all in and you can fully understand them.

Yeah. I love these stories. Yeah. I mean, it's brutal for the person that happened to mostly. Yeah. But yeah, I'd love to know what you've heard people say about you in another language. All right.

That you understood. 0800-DARLS-IT-M, 9696 if you want to text in your story. And yeah, just, I mean, it doesn't, they didn't have to be bagging you out. It might be complimentary. Well, they could have been just having a good old goss or talking about some secret plans. And you kind of overheard it

because you spoke their language. Give us a call. Taking your calls now when you've been talked about in another language, but you understand it. You speak that language. It's horribly awkward, but often hilarious. Yeah. I mean, unless you're being completely insulted in whatever language,

it doesn't matter, does it? Somebody messaged in saying, I've been working for a couple of Dutch guys for over a year and they still don't know I can understand everything they're saying in Dutch. Oh, you're keeping it on the downline. Isn't it? It's a good little card to have, eh? Yeah. a year and they still don't know I can understand everything they're saying in Dutch. You're keeping it on the downline. It's a good little card to have. Because then if they do try to cross you or they're talking about you behind your back, you can just...

But sometimes you just don't want to know what people are saying about you. Ignorant bliss. Horrible insight. Ali, what happened? My husband was born in Hong Kong, but he's Kiwi. Whenever we go back to Hong Kong we just mainly go around the shoe store and I've got quite large feet so I've got size 10 feet which

is a 40 or 42 or something like that. Basically whenever we asked in the stores for shoes for me they would, the sales assistants were calling me Bigfoot in Cantonese. They're not saying she has a Bigfoot. They're referring to you as Bigfoot. As Bigfoot. Yeah. Sasquatch. Right.

Did your husband put them up on that? No, no. I don't think so. It was kind of like an affectionate term, I believe. Right. Well, that's what he was telling you. Brilliant. Thanks, that's what he was telling you. Brilliant. Thanks, you cool, Ali.

Some text messages. I'm Filipino, but born and bred in New Zealand. I don't know how to speak Filipino. Now, this is the common thread that runs throughout all of these people's stories. Just because you don't know how to speak a language doesn't mean you can't understand it. Yeah. I was at a mall and I was about to pay, and then a lady in Filipino said, look at this whitewashed, feeling rich kid.

And I turned around and said to her, actually, I'm pretty brown and pretty not rich. I said, I worked hard and saved for this. And she was just like, oh, mortified. I love that. And now give me a discount. Two French girls were talking about how great my boobs looked. Oh, okay.

Too bad for my boyfriend about my face. He's Irish but speaks fluent French. Oh, wow. Did he tell her, though? I would have just not said anything. Yeah, I would have said how great your boobs are and also how great your face is. Compliments on the upper half were very much happening. I taught English in Japan and one time I had a tummy bug

and had to run to the bathroom to vomit. When I got back to the staff room, I overheard teachers saying that I was probably pregnant since I've put on a bit of weight as well. I responded to them in Japanese that I wasn't in fact pregnant, just a little bit sick. And my Japanese lessons were also going fairly well, thank you. That's sassy.

I like that. Somebody said, Yeah. And the ladies behind my friend on the bus were gossiping about people she knew in Croatian. And she could understand the entire thing, even though they thought they were probably safe behind the veil of a foreign language. Somebody said some Samoan woman were talking rather disrespectfully about my girlfriend in public, but they were speaking in Samoan. I'm white, but I do speak Samoan. I've got Samoan family members.

I turned around to them and said, it's not a very nice thing to say, and what would somebody think if someone was saying that about their daughters? And they just hung their heads in shame. Face drop. Yes. More of those moments need to be caught on camera.

I'd watch a compilation of those on YouTube. Just people's face dropping. Yeah. Yeah. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Today's fact of the day is humans had sheep for 7,000 years. We kind of like farmed them. Yeah.

Varying scales before we started using their wool. Did no one think that's real soft and fluffy? That's nice. They look comfortable wearing that. They seem to be really warm. But also that's kind of like a weird thing about humans as well. They're like, that looks comfortable. I'm going to cut that off and wear that. They look comfortable wearing that. They seem to be really warm. Yeah, but also that's kind of like a weird thing about humans as well. They're like, that looks comfortable. I'm going to cut that off and wear it.

Like we put ourselves out there, we're like, I might take the skin as well. That'll be waterproof because they stand out in the rain and they don't get wet. Oh my God, it's awful. And then that'll be warm. Nothing psychopathic about this at all. Oh, humans are terrible, aren't they? I'm going to make some boots out of it as well.

Yeah, so they ate them. And the remains of the first domestic sheep have dated back 7,000 years. And this is the other part that blew my mind. Yeah. They were originally from the Middle East. Iran, Iraq and Palestine. You think they'd be too bloody hot to have a woolen coat on? Yeah.

Have they evolved though to have more wool? Yeah, I was just going to say, do they not grow much wool? That's the very start of the selective breeding because they had shorter, coarser fleeces. Right. Apparently, and these remains that they've found that are really old. Yeah. But I wear, of course, I just, this piqued my interest

because we've got sheep now and getting two more sheep today. Why? Because my daughters really wanted to like hand rear a pet lamb, a pet sheep. But the lambs that were born at our house, they like the mother fed them. Right. Don't interrupt that. It's going to be a lot of work. Yeah.

It's going to be a lot of work. So my aunt and uncle have a sheep farm, and they've got some older orphan lambs. They might have been like the third of a triplet. And so the mothers have only got two teats, so they can't like feed them all, and then one always misses out. Can you get like an adapter from Jaycar? Like a splitter. An adapter teat.

Like an audio splitter. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like it up to one and two come out. You probably could. Just pop it on and the milk comes out three. Three teats. Or ox cables. It'd be three quite thin though.

Have you just invented something amazing? Like a teat splitter. Because cows, it's never a problem. Because cows, they've got four and there's only,

they might have twins. If they had triplets, it'd be an absolute mess and you probably wouldn't all survive. But what if you'd Googled their teat splitter? No, that's a teat. That's a teat for a bottle. Oh, Ross, are you going to have a V today?

I've already had one. Have you kept the bottle? I think so. I need it to feed lambs out of. Mate, you can't feed lambs V. No, you can't feed them. It's a glass bottle. But the glass bottles work better because if you need to hot wash them, like really hot to disinfect it and get everything out, you need a glass bottle. But the glass bottles work better because if you need to like hot wash them,

like really hot to like disinfect it and get everything out, you need a glass bottle. And then when I was at the vets, bought the teat to feed the lambs, they said, do you drink V? I said, no. They're like, do you know anybody that drinks V? And I was like, yes. Grass boss.

And they said, oh, the V bottles are really good because they're glass so you can wash them. I've been meaning to ask. Okay, good. Right. So, yeah, we're getting those today. They're arriving. They're going to need names.

Probably stick with the H thing. You're getting too many animals. Henrietta. You're never going to be able to go away on holiday. Henrietta's been bookmarked for a chicken. Oh, yeah. Because Henrietta's like a great chicken name. Do you know if they're girls or boys?

They'll be both girls. We've requested girls because the boys you have to... Oh, yeah, okay. Snip. Yeah. Which is what we actually want to talk about soon on the show as well. Snipping. Your dog's got an appointment today. Yeah, he does. He does. But today's

fact of the day is that humans had sheep for 7,000 years before we thought to use their wool. Fact of the day! Day, day, day, day. Flesh, fauna, Megan. The podcast. ZM. Today, Ralph, our dog, is getting the snip.

The snipperoo. So he's going to have the cone of shame on later. That'll be funny. Because it's the cone of shame. But he was getting not like aggressive, but he barked a lot, apparently. And that's something dogs do, but apparently also something they do if they're getting a bit... Frustrated. A bit amped up.

Right. I was just thinking it's lucky they just don't have the same policy on, like, teenage boys. Can you imagine when you're a teenage boy and you're getting a bit of bravado and running around? Because apparently roaming is another thing dogs can do if they're, like, not fixed. Like 4G.

Yeah, yeah, they'll go overseas and take up a $600 roaming bill. Cheeky. They'll just go for like a walk because they're out in the town. They're out to find some ladies, especially because they can smell wonderfully, dogs. They can smell that a dog down the road might be on heat.

They can smell de clubs. Yeah. So you're like, I'm going out. It's like Lynx Africa, really, or Impulse. Right. They'll be down the road to get it done. So he's having an operation today. He's having the snout. Ouch. Okay. They'll be down the road to get it done. So he's having an operation today.

He's having the snip. Ouch. Okay. Which takes me back to being the only fully functional male in the household. But surely you're due for a snip soon. Yeah. The dad vassy? Yeah, yeah.

At some stage. Yeah. I just said to Shadow I'd get it done before I'm 40, but that was like five years ago. Now it's approaching like in the next like two and a half. Oh, do it on air. It'll be a laugh. Nah.

Nah. What, like iron? Like you do it. No, I don't want to do it. I don't want you down there with the soldering iron. Because that's what a friend of mine said he did. They like solder it. They like burn it.

They actually burn it shut, the two. They burn it shut. Yeah, right, like a MIG welder. Yeah. Welding the joint. Like cauterising a wound. Right. Yeah. Okay.

So, I don't know. It sounds horrible. Do you need it done? It's not like you're using it. No, that's the thing. I'm not using it. But contractually, I'll have something drawn up by the lawyer, of course, but contractually, if I get it done,

Sade will, of course, then be contractually obliged to make use of it. And don't come at me with it's her choice. She's contractually obliged now. And ask Israel Folau, contract above belief. You signed it. You signed it. Just don't sign it. If it's not a problem, then I won't get it done.

That's a standoff. I don't think you'd be saying this to her, would you? No, I have said it to her. Oh, really? Right. How does that go down? Not well. Not well.

Contract. Contractually, yeah. I'll get something drawn up. It'll be worth the money. Yeah. Whatever it costs to get the lawyer to do that paperwork. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast.

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