ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Megan Podcast - July 20 2018

Episode Date: July 19, 2018

Vaughan received a txt from Indie, Friday Flashback and what meal did you ditch for takeaways?See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is the Fletch, Vaughan and Megan podcast, thanks to Spark. You can stay connected with free Wi-Fi a gig a day on the $19 Spark prepaid rollover pack. Enjoy. ZDM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. Thanks, Anya. Good morning. Welcome to the show. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, happy Friday. Friday. Happy.

Happy. You're that tired you can't even get. Just happy. You're just happy. You're that tired you can't even get. Just happy. You're just happy. Yep. Overwhelmed, some would say. Exuberant. That it's Friday.

Okay. Happy. You sound exuberant. Yes, very exuberant. You're wearing a turtleneck today. I am. My wife, long turtleneck critic, was wearing a turtleneck the other day. I said, what's going on here?

She criticised him and now she's wearing one. It was a very loose neck. Oh, yeah, like a winter, like a cashmere sweater or something with a... But the neck was very loose. Like a cowl neck. Very 1990s fair go reporter. Yeah. Hers was...

Like loose. I can imagine Megan storming into a carpet place demanding... Doorstep them. Yeah, yeah. A test of quality. Sir, sir. Sir, why have you not been returning our calls? We've tried calling you multiple times

about the linoleum that you sold the Harris's and how it's peeled up at the corners in their kitchen after someone spilt some juice. Sir! Sir, please! Also, I prefer skivvy. Skivvy. As opposed to turtleneck. Turtleneck. Maybe it's turtleneck for men. I like skivvy.

Like a skivvy. Skivvy. I haven't worn a skivvy or a turtleneck since I was a kid. I find it like someone's got their hand constantly around you straight. I'm not into choking. I get asked a kid. Like someone's got their hand constantly around your throat. I'm not into choking. I get asked a lot. Do you? I'm not.

I bet you do. I'm not into choking. I get asked a lot. Do you? You seem like a guy that'd be into choking. Yeah. All right.

Storytime is next. For the record, Your Honour, before Megan doorsteps me for fair go and misrepresenting the chokers, I actually have never been asked. Okay. All right, you lot, listen up.

It's story time. Three news headlines for interesting, odd, unusual, weird news stories that I've found. Vaughan and Megan pick one of the following three headlines. That's how story time works. Headline one, French butchers asking for help against militant vegans. I'm

aware of this. It's getting pretty heated. Like it's actually serious and not just a laugh. It's crazy. No. Headline two, hot chickens land 61 year old in jail. And headline three, man's question lands him in trouble. Wow.

I'm going to know two or three because you know one. So I'll tell you the French butchers like the vegans in France are just getting crazy.

Like actually like like smashing up windows smashing butchery setting them on fire.

Like, they don't want you to cook the meat, but they'll burn it. Oh, yeah. Yeah, it's crazy. Crazy violence. And they've actually said, like, we seriously need help. Like, it's out of control. We feel unsafe. We're being targeted.

Like, just be vegan. Just go about your way. People are still going to... You're not going to change everyone into your way of life. People are always going to eat meat. Have you had bacon? Isn't that what always happens? People believe something so strongly in themselves

that they get violent towards others. They radicalise, and that always works. Radicalise vegans. Yeah, come on. They'll have to do short attacks because they might don't have the energy For a long Yeah Low on iron Megan

A lot of them I'm joking Obviously But yeah Not a good situation No What happened with the chickens Yeah that's

Someone got in trouble With hot chickens Hot chickens Yeah 61 year old in jail Yeah go on Or what's number three Or three Man's question lands him in trouble

Do you want hot chickens I don't Number three Okay Or what's number three? Or three, man's question lands him in trouble. Do you want hot chickens? Number three. Okay. I'm an easy sway today. Okay. Three. Don't Google hot chickens.

You were just like, no, choose number three because that's the most vague and you're currently Googling hot chickens. I think you just figured out how this works. After all this time. You're not allowed to Google that the other stories are put in the bin. Was there drugs in the chicken? Yes. In a hot chicken? You would have burnt your hands getting the

drugs out. These obviously weren't the ones stuffed with sage and onion. No. And breadcrumbs. Those supermarket stuffings are always disgusting, eh? Not as good as grandma used to make. Yeah, those rotisserie chickens, it's cheap stuffing. Rubbish. It's just to hold the chicken in shape, right?

That's the main, I've always thought that's the main purpose of that stuffing. Is it? Oh, no, because you can get chickens without stuffing. Yeah, but they've always been a bit, like, flopped. Oh, okay. I thought it was to, like, flavour the meat. Nah. I mean, traditional stuffing maybe, but yeah, I'm not a huge fan of that stuff. was to, like, flavour the meat. Nah. I mean, traditional

stuffing maybe, but yeah, I'm not a huge fan of that stuff. Alright, well, we go to Louisiana now. We are a guy called Christian. He's 24. He decided at 10pm on July the 16th, what's that? Monday? Tuesday? This week. He was, well, I guess he was worried or

wondered if he had any warrants out for his arrest. So he decided to call 911 to check. Who does that? Can you do that? Why would you do that? No, you can't because they said, look, this is 911. This isn't some office line.

This isn't the police administration. Call to check. Now, he is now being charged with unlawful use of the 911 system. And the police have said that carries up to a $500 fine and 30 days in jail. But no word if he actually did have a warrant out for his arrest. But he does have a charge now. I think that's a bit steep. He's an idiot, but that's a bit steep. Yeah.

Like, just be like, mate, this isn't the place. Unless he just kept calling and was very abusive and repetitive. He sounded like he deserved some kind of punishment. I mean, if he doesn't sound that smart, that's punishment enough, isn't it? Well, if you're innocent, you don't call up to check for warrants, do you? No. And you know what? Probably a good way to get him in the system.

If he thinks he's in trouble. Yeah. Right. This is probably the way. You're saying he's done something, he just hasn't been caught for it. Yeah, why does he have a guilty mind? So get in there and get the fingerprints. Yeah, get the DNA. Yeah, alright. Get him in the system. God, I'd be a great detective, eh?

I don't know, because it feels like what we've done is illegal. I know there's a lot of laws. Like entrapment. Yeah. No, but he broke the law. Yeah. But fingerprint level. Do you know if I was a cop,

did you see that cop shoot the other driver through the window in that police chase? Oh my God, yes. Like multiple times. That would be me. I'd just be reckless. Were they driving and he shot him? Yeah, so in America,

you're allowed to shoot from a moving vehicle if there is a danger to the public or a, you're allowed to shoot from a moving vehicle if there is a danger to the public or a police officer. Well, shooting from a moving vehicle immediately becomes a danger to the public,

doesn't it? And it was on a suburban street. How fast were they going? Nevada. Very fast. Actually shot him and got him

and he crashed. And then they shot the other one or two guys in the car. Did they die? They'd been in a shooting already, yeah. It was insane.

You should watch the video. Oh, I didn't know they died. He's just shooting straight through his windscreen. So they're going fast, which is dangerous, and he shoots them dead, which creates a pretty much out-of-control battering ram. Yeah. Okay.

It kind of slows to a halt, though, the car, because he's injured, not fatal straight away. I feel sorry for New Zealand police. We're in a lot with police chases. But I don't have a good answer. I don't know enough about it to be like, yeah, chase him. Or no, don't chase him. But I always like seeing the police eagle helicopter hovering over the North Western motorway.

Because I'm like, gotcha. Bit of excitement. Gotcha, buddy. You need an app where you can point it to the helicopter and be like, what are they doing? Oh, okay, they're chasing someone. Well, yeah, and you get their live feed of their camera. That would be great. That would be so exciting.

Because they stream police chasers in America on TV, don't they? Yeah. They might even have a whole channel dedicated to it. No, they'll just cut into news channels, local news channels and stream it. Just because it's exciting. But then we just find out they were just looking for like doing a traffic report or something. Yeah. Oh yeah, true. Just going for a fly. Alright, 13 past 6. Huge

avocado crime news coming up on the show. Yep. A what has been called a heist has taken place. And also next, I want to tell you why you should be proud if you're in Marlborough. Oh, okay. Marlborough. Marlborough. And in the meantime, I'll learn to say your region's name correctly in Marlborough. Oh, okay. Marlborough. Marlborough. And in the meantime, I'll learn to say your region's name correctly.

Marlborough. Things to do before you turn your microphone on. Marlborough, the upper South Island area of Marlborough, has the lowest litter rate in the country. There's been the national litter count. When they were counting it, why didn't they pick it up? Maybe they did. Yeah, maybe they did.

I mean, you've raised a great point. They could have been like, one, two, three, four. You've seen a little packet of rations? Are you just going to count that or pick it up? Yeah. They're like, yuck. It's got leaves and juice on it. Siggy's not picking that up.

That's gross as well. That's yuck. But Marlborough has the best litter result, meaning the least amount of litter. The least litter. It's like golf. Yep. The less, the better. Yep.

So they've got record low numbers. They're saying it's because we've tracked all these rubbish bins around town. Yeah. Apparently there's a rubbish bin every 20 metres, which I think seems, that seems a lot of rubbish bins. It's easier in a small town, isn't it? Yeah. And they say they've been very active in it. Right. You know, picking up the rubbish. This shocked me. This shook me.

29% littering rate for Aucklanders. Which means that one in three Aucklanders litters still. Can you believe that? I saw a guy yesterday. He walked out of the service station and he pulled, like, you know those drinks? Like an energy drink. And you take the lid off and underneath it's got that little foil cap. He pulled it off and just threw it onto the forecourt and put the lid back on.

And then took the plastic top off the thing and threw that on the forecourt and got in his car. And I was like, hey! I just looked at him. And he just looked at me and just drove away. What are you doing? I was like, you're a grown ass man. Literally, on a fork of a service station, there's like two bins

right where you can't walk back to your car without going past a bin. Yeah. And he just threw it, the other thing, threw it. You should have filmed him and put him on Facebook and outed him. It all happened so quickly. And to be honest, it took all my courage to even go, hey.

Oh, yeah. Was he a big man? Oh, okay. Yeah, right. Like the stabbing type. Right. Okay. He looked stabby.

He looked stabby. I mean, you shouldn't judge someone on their appearance, but. He looked like he could stab. He definitely shanked someone with a sharpened toothbrush. Right. So for everywhere else around the country, single-use plastic, of course, that's the big one. Everyone's trying to stop hanging on to it. But cigarette butts and gum are still the biggest item that people litter, that people just chuck straight on the ground.

Oh, that drives me nuts. If I don't have somewhere to put my chewing gum, I'll swallow it rather than chuck it on the ground. Wow. Because I'm like, that's my problem. If I can't find a bin, I'm just going to have to swallow it. Yeah, yeah. It's your... I never litter.

But you always say... Think if we all just chucked everything we had on the ground. Come on, it would be like ruined. Well, we used to. It was called the 70s. There was that massive campaign through the 80s and 90s and recycling and everybody's moving towards a better... But yeah, it dries my nuts.

It dries my nuts. Does it? It does it. Man,, it drives my nuts. It drives my nuts. Does it? It does it. The difference one letter makes. It drives me nuts versus it drives my nuts. Yeah, really. Okay, we found what turns you on. That's littering. Yeah.

Oh yeah, gets me going. Look over here. Should I drop this on the ground? Okay. Filth. Sad news, given that we're all huge fans of the avocado, I think I speak for an entire generation, or multiple generations. Sure.

That have fallen in love with the avocado. Delicious stuff. Yeah. I mean, blamed for people not being able to afford houses by the financially inept. I'm saying they're inept because they calculated that if you gave up some avocado on toast, you'd be able to afford a house. I mean, that's ineptitude of the highest order.

But a Northland avocado orchard has had 70% of next season's avocado stolen. So that could mean a little bit of a price bump. I mean, it's only one of the Northland orchard, avocado orchards, but a huge amount. $100,000 is the estimation of what this orchard owner's lost. How much is 70%? Like how many avocados are we talking? So he's got 550 trees.

Okay. And 70% of those were raided. Jeez. But how? Do they have to like come in with a truck and then pick them all in? It happened over three weeks in the cover of darkness because it's at the time of the year where kind of the fruit's on the tree, but it's not nearly ready yet. Right.

Because it takes a while. So it's rock hard. They're green. Rock hard. Right. You know when you buy one that's rock hard? Yeah. And then it goes from rock hard to brown mush in about 30 seconds?

Yep. There's a very small Goldilocks zone for those avocados. So they were even harder than the hard ones. Like these ones would never make it to market. They were well off being ready. So were they going to ripen? Are they ever going to make it to guacamole? Nope.

So what was the point? Graham, who owns the orchard, said whoever's stealing them has obviously got no idea because they're so far off being ripe. They'll never ripen properly and they'll never be able to be eaten. So there's someone with thousands of avocados. Yes. Rock hard and green. Yep.

That's literally just going to have to throw them away. Correctamundo. Oh, that's sad. But in the meantime, I guess try to palm them off. But no one in the know will buy them because they'll know that they'll just go rotten before they go right so yeah they came into the cover of darkness uh and still 75 uh this guy's like it's pretty crazy now but i've got security cameras installed all around the orchard watching all 550 trees this season's kind of stuffed yeah right he said there's there's a few left near the

house uh but barely enough to, because his wife usually takes them to the local markets and sells them during the season, but he said barely enough for that. Oh, that's sad. What would you, I'm just trying to calculate how many Avos that is. So $100,000 worth, divide that by an average price of an Avo. Yeah, no, that's what he, so he sells them to someone and someone sells them on. But how so, like, would 50 cents be a wholesale price or is that too cheap?

I reckon, or a dollar. Well, not when they're seven or eight dollars, even when they're three or four. I mean, you never know, the supermarkets mark up like 500% sometimes. Yeah, I know, that's the thing. Well, then if they're a dollar each, that's 100,000 avos. They're stolen. Yeah.

Yeah. Because I know avo trees, heaps of avos grow on one tree. It's weird. A friend that had an avocado tree, they're like, do you want avos? I was like, what? What if they had like a huge truck or something?

And where are you putting them? That's the other thing that's crazy. And you can't steal that much fruit. Well, if you know, if you stumble across some rock-hard avos in bulk quantities. Also, is that going to affect how many avos there are in New Zealand as well? It'll have a small, tiny effect. It'll have a small little bump. But also, while you're keeping an eye out for those stolen avocados,

keep an eye out for 1,000 kgs of mandarins. So that's a ton of mandarins that were stolen. Where for those stolen avocados. Keep an eye out for a thousand kgs of mandarins. So that's a ton of mandarins that were stolen. Where were those stolen from? From a kitty kitty pack house. Yeah, apparently they were literally like loaded up,

ready to go and someone just drove in, picked them up and drove away with them. Oh my God. So yeah, the old black market for fruit. She's rife.

The Top Six with Vaughn Smith. The old black market for fruit. She's rife. Today's top six is the top six things the new DHL 767 plane means for courierising. They've got a new plane. They're going to be doing the Auckland-Sydney freight service in this plane. It's a 767, which is a Boeing 767. And worldwide, the company's put in

more orders for bigger planes. This is just the state of it because everybody orders so much online now. Mastercard's saying that 59% of New Zealanders

had shopped online at least once a month. Yeah, right. Once a month. Megan least once a month. Yeah, right. Once a month. Megan's once a day. No, not that bad at the moment. But then if you're shopping once a day online or once a week, then every month you're being the part of four New Zealanders.

So, good, that's good. But it's crazy, like, some of the sites you shop from, you can get it next day or day after from Australia. From overseas. And so that iconic one still blows my mind. I wonder how much of this plane will be iconic. I can tell you, because I read before in the story how much of it was. It's like when you go down in the mail room here

and how much they're like, here's another iconic package. So the main delivery, the main freight for New Zealand was clothing and textiles from Australian retailers and New Zealanders wanted quick delivery for their online orders. So that's the main freight. So that pretty much is them. Yeah. And that apparently goes back the other way as well.

Oh, okay. The main thing out of New Zealand is... Really? Is textiles and fabric and clothing that Australians want from New Zealand outlets quicker. Huh. Huh. Wow. So it's clothing. Okay. But it's massive and it means it can transport more and it can maybe, I mean, do it

cheaper because you can fit more on one plane. Yeah. So the top six things the new plane means for courierising are, number six, they can double park on one plane. Yeah. So the top six things the new plane means for courierising. Number six, they can double park on a central busy city street and there's nothing you can do about it now. Because that's a plane. Well, you can't park, you know, you want to get in the vans, double park, and it's kind of blocking the park, and you park behind it and you're like, beep, beep.

The plane's just not even going to hear you. No. There's literally nothing you can do about it. Number five on the list of the top six things this new plane means for courierising. If you want your package delivered to your house, you're going to need to become proficient in air traffic control. Yeah, roger that. West Brown approach.

Down Clark Street. Traffic clear. Wait a minute. Hold on. No. Someone's pulled out onto the street. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. They'll be gone. Yeah, they're gone. Traffic clear. Wait a minute. Hold on. No. Someone's pulled out onto the street. Hold on. Hold on.

Hold on. They'll be gone. Yeah, they're gone. All right. Clear for landing. Coming in hot. Won't the wings hit the lamppost? Oh, a little bit.

Just a little bit. Right. Okay. Number four on the list of the things that this new plane means for courierizing. Fuel costs will go up. There's one thing couriers love talking about. Couriers, taxi drivers, they love chatting about when fuel takes a little bit of a bump up. Oh, it does.

And now it's gone up heaps. Yeah. And they'll tell you about it. Fuel for them. They'll tell you about it. Especially now they're driving massive planes. Yeah, everywhere. Number three on the list of the things the new plane means for courierising

is that your package will get really effed up if it falls out of the van. Or plane, as it is now. right. Where was I? Was I with you the other day or was it shut, eh? When I was walking,

we heard this massive thump and we turned around and a courier had knocked something out of the van and he was like, oops! No, that wasn't me. I was like, boom!

The sound of it was enough that I was like, ah! It scared me. Oh, so that's gone. I turned around and he was like, oops! Oops! See? Fell out the back. It didn't like smash or sound broken broken. The sound of it was enough that I was like, ah! It scared me. Oh, so that's gone. I turned around and was like, oops, oops, oopsie.

Fell out the back. It didn't, like, smash or sound broken, broken. Right, but it was quite a heavy thud. But enough that it was a big thud. Oh, well. It was a big thud. I wouldn't care. Number two on the list of the top six things a new plane means for courierising in New Zealand.

They can't drop your parcel and run away because you'll totally hear them coming down the street. You know when the plane engines are even winding down? Yeah. Then they have to get their little

air dock out to the thing to get down to come down and see you. And the number one thing that it means, the new plane means for

courierizing, no time for chit chat. No. No time for them to have a little chit chat. Sorry, I've got to go, I left the

plane running. Left the plane running. Hope the family's well. In the back of your driveway. Knocking over the bins. It's because it's bin day, of course. Yeah, right. Down the street and away they go.

Have trouble on your street? You've got speed bumps. I know, yeah. And that bus shelter, that's right kind of out on the side of the road. Yeah, that'd take out an engine. Yeah, it'd be good though because they'd have to get rid of all the power poles. Silver Linings, that's today's top six. So in a relationship, if you argue, this is in a marriage, but it would go for a relationship.

Yeah. One of the couple, it affects more than the other. So this study was done, and it's for people who have been in marriage, and they studied the couples one, two, and three years in. So basically, after they had conflicts about the main things, religion, children, money, relationships with the in-laws, those sorts of things.

The hot new secretary. I would have thought a few of those would have been taken care of before you got married. Surely you have a religion discussion before you marry a person. Yeah. But then maybe it's like down to little things like should you baptise a child or something. Right, right, okay.

But those are the hot topics for arguments. So they asked people how many arguments, you know, decent arguments they've had with their spouse and then how they felt afterwards. So this is not just, oh, I feel sad about it. How it affects you physically was brought into play. And it turns out that men are affected much more, husbands are affected much more.

Yeah, because even when we win, we lose. If I win an argument, I lose for the next ages. Why? Because you get the silent treatment or like yeah. But it's not about winning or losing. So you were asked if you had an argument, how did you feel

physically afterwards and for how long? Right. So these, like a lot of the husbands, would struggle with headaches. They would struggle to sleep. They were in poorer health generally than those who had less arguments. Wow. Like physical. These must be ripper arguments. I know.

But is it because they don't, like, women would express their emotions, they would say how they feel, and maybe the guys are just, like, backing down and, you know, when you're bottling it up and it's affecting you physically? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Rather than the women would just be like, you're a dick, Gary, you piss me off. And Gary hears it and Gary processes it,

but Gary also knows if he says something, it's going to be thrown back in his face in six months when he forgets to get milk from the supermarket after he's said anything. So Gary's like, I'm just not going to say anything. Just like that time we had that argument about that thing and you said this thing.

And he's like, oh, masterstroke. Masterstroke. But do you think, like, guys generally would just not say anything rather than say how they really feel? Because that's... Or they had an argument that was the guy's fault

so he really didn't have anything to say apart from sit there and take it and made him feel sick afterwards. What had he done? Yeah, but it affects...

It physically can affect you. Wow. So... But it's like... Were they studying them throughout the time? Because if they said how many arguments

would you have, I wouldn't be able to look back and be like, say four. Yeah, right. Or remember specifically what arguments were about. Maybe they kept a diary in an argument diary. Yeah, maybe they kept an argument diary.

Could you imagine keeping an argument diary? You would never want your partner to see your argument diary because I'm guessing you put in there your feelings, like how you were right and they were wrong. Oh my God, an argument diary. That would start another argument. It would, yeah. I would have an argument diary that I

left around that I would let be found. I was like, today we argued about something silly and I realised it was my fault. What a silly person. That's the one I'd let be found. And then I'd have another one hidden under lock and key that's like, this woman is crazy. But how do your arguments end?

Does someone apologise or does it just you get silent and it fizzles out? Mixture of both. Right. I was thinking the other day, we haven't had an argument for ages. But then I didn't want to say to Shade, we haven't had an argument for ages

because then she'll think in her mind, well, I might start one at some stage about something. Is there a correlation between the amount of time you haven't had an argument and the amount of time Love Island's been on? Actually, causation doesn't equal correlation, but you might be on to something. You might be on to something. Has it been like four or five weeks?

Because I said last night, how long has this Love Island got to go? Yeah. And she said, how long is the UK one? How long is it going for? She estimated another week or so. Caitlin. For Love Island. No, no, so, Caitlin, for Love Island. No, no, no, no, no.

There's definitely like another three weeks, I'm pretty sure. There's so many couples. Jesus. There's so many couples at the moment. There's like 45 episodes. Love Island UK is endless. Yeah. Yeah, right.

Because they keep bringing new people in. More islanders. You're like, oh, shit. I'm like, yay! But so that means you've got, what, another three weeks argument free. Well, let's not say argument free. That seems like you'd be jinxing it completely. Right, okay.

Perhaps. Well, maybe you could keep a diary and report back when Love Island ends. When Love Island ends. Okay, I'm going to need two books. One that she can see. One's labelled argument diary and the other is labelled nothing in particular, just a book. Just in case she finds it.

And I'm going to need a lock to put it in, a safe. Admission time. Okay. Confession. Last night, getting ready for the fact of the day pub quiz, and I didn't know that where we were having it, there was going to be the option where we could get dinner there. And it was a pretty lazy day at the Smith house yesterday

because I was going to be out a little bit later and had a late night the night before I opted for quite a large, quite a substantial afternoon nap. Okay, right. Wonderful. Wonderful day for a nap. Woke up, nothing really sorted for dinner. We had some leftovers from the night before

and I was sweet with that. I was just like, yeah, that'll be fine. Okay. I'm not one of those guys that's like, all right, love, where's me hot meal? Yeah. You know, 50-50 responsibility in our house when it comes to cooking the evening meal for the family.

So I said, oh, what are the kids going to have? They're going to have some macaroni and cheese. Easiest to please. Kids love pasta at any time of the day. I said, oh, should we the kids going to have? They're going to have some macaroni and cheese. Easiest of plays. Kids love pasta at any time of the day. I said, oh, should we just have the leftovers? And Shada's like, yeah, that's cool. So it was very basic. Okay.

Now, it was all getting kind of sorted when Caitlin messaged, or Anya actually messaged, a picture of the menu saying, does anybody want us to order anything? And I was like, what's going on here? There's free food. There's free food.

And it's good food. And it's good food. So I'm looking at my phone and I'm like, hmm. And then Caitlin says, I'll have the salmon. And you know, me, I love a little bit of salmon. A little bit of salmon. And you know, the salmon that I don't eat gets made into delicious salmon burley. I do know that, yes.

Which is great for just a little bit of omega thrombo. Anyway, besides the point. So I'm looking at my phone, seeing that there's a salmon on offer, a hot salmon. Yep. Which you don't have to pay for. And I see the cold food from the night before on the bench. And Sade's like, what's happening? I was like, and in a moment,

I committed a fraudulent act within the marriage. Okay. And I said, oh my God, I'm running really late. I'm actually going to have to go. Yeah. And she said, oh, do you want to take this food in the car? Oh, she was so worried about you eating. And I was like, oh, look, no.

I'm not too hungry because of the nap, which is just, that's not even a believable lie. No, it's not. I'm not too hungry because of the nap. If I look, if I get there and I'm really hungry, I'll get something there. Okay. I don't tell her there's salmon on offer.

No, no, she'd want the salmon. She'll be coming. Yeah. So I'm like, oh, I'm hungry, I'll get something there. Okay. I don't tell her there's salmon on offer. No, no, she'd want the salmon. She'll be coming. Yeah. So I'm like, you know what Fletch is like? Which is a great line to use. She does know what Fletch is like. We all use that. Unbelievable.

Yeah, that's universally used around age. Well, we don't have children to do it, so Fletch is my... Yeah, yeah, you know what Fletch is like. Unbelievable. Well, you've got to be there on time. Yeah, yeah. Yes, exactly. You're playing the role now. She's like, oh, yeah, no, no, you've got to be there on time. Yeah. Yes, exactly. You're playing the role now.

And she's like, oh, yeah, no, no, you get going then. And I was like, oh, I'll eat this for lunch tomorrow. Scoot out the door. Yeah. Get there. My salmon is waiting. I almost choked on, what was that vegetable in the salmon? There's bok choy.

My wife loves bok choy. My issue with bok choy is for another time. No, do you know your problem? You ate the whole strand and you just folded it over and chewed it. So the whole thing of bok choy, I rolled it over and folded it over and then I put it all in my mouth and then the little slimy leafy bit scoots down the throat but the big stalky bit's like, well, I can't fit down there.

So there's... He's gagging on the... This happened like three times at the table last night. And the bok choy's leaf's down here tickling the esophagus. And now the stalky bit's up here on the tongue and I'm like ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh.

And I have to grab the stalky bit And just like pull it Three times I know because I kept thinking I could beat it next time If I chewed it but I don't So meanwhile your leftovers are just on the bench On a plate Or they got put back in the fridge

Okay so they can be used another time And then I got home and she's like did you get something to eat Oh I just had some fries I was like oh I just kind of picked up some stuff. I didn't have a beautifully plated piece of salmon. No, on a big plate. No. A full meal.

She probably knew because my omega-3 levels were very high. She could see it. It's great for a little bit of a little bit of omega-3. But I was wondering when I was driving home, not full of guilt, but full of a... Yeah. A little bit of a number three. Ah, but I was wondering when I was driving home, not full of guilt, but full of salmon. Yeah.

Who else has skipped out on a meal for takeaways? Like what, mid-meal? It doesn't have to be with your partner. It could be like you're at your parents' place and mum's cooking her

same meal that you grew up on. And you're like, oh. Same meal that Christine made. The meatloaf, the dry meatloaf. Here's the thing about Christine's meatloaf. I like the meatloaf, just not every time. Yeah, yeah. Not every time a meatloaf.

But she got the idea that it was every time I went, I wanted the meatloaf. And then once in a blue moon, love the meatloaf, but you have it too often, it spoils the meatloaf for you. So you might have, someone might have been cooking something, but, oh, I've got to go. And just because you knew you could get some food somewhere else. Maybe takeaways on the way home.

Or even you and your partner are just cooking something, and you're like, this is, no, we've just, no, let's just go get takeaways. We've never abandoned a meal, like, mid-prep and been like, eh. Or maybe you're trying to make a healthy meal, and you're like, you know what, let's just go get McDonald's. Or takeaways. Or you eat the healthy meal and then you're like, wow, I'm still hungry because salad is nae filling.

Oh, yeah, definitely. I want to hear from people. Points if you ditched a meal halfway through or someone's meal and you're like, oh, full now, full. I can't. Oh, I'm full. Yeah, anyway, thanks so much. I'm out.

And then you go get takeaways. You know what Fletcher's like? You're like, I can't. Oh, I'm full. Yeah, anyway, thanks so much. I'm out. And then you go and get takeaways. You know what Fletch is like? You're like, you don't even know him. In fact, you could use that. I would please anybody just use that excuse this weekend. Oh, yeah, I've got to go. You know what Fletch is like. He doesn't like late people.

Do we have to go on the radio? What the hell has he got to do with anything? Okay, so 0800-ARLS.M9696. What meal did you ditch for takeaways? Fletch. Vaughn. And Megan. The Podcast.

We're talking about what meal you've maybe walked out on or not stayed for because you knew that there's another food option that would be more satisfying to you. I did this last night. I walked out on cold leftovers for a lovely cooked salmon. A feast. An absolute feast. But you lied about it. You should have just been straight up. Been like, I'm going to get free hot salmon, babes.

I'm out. No, because then that's you don't want to tell them what they're missing out on. Yeah, okay. Yeah, because then she'll be like, wish I was eating hot salmon. Then it's my fault. Exactly. So we want to know from you what meal you ditched or walked out on or got out of the way of

before it even landed on a plate in front of you. Nathan, what meal did you ditch? My mother-in-law's roast chicken. Oh, is it terrible? Oh, it was pink in the middle. Pink in the middle? Yeah, not long enough in the oven. That's, um...

Three hours cooking that, but it wasn't good enough. What, did she turn the oven on or did she just park it there for three hours? I had some over there. Brilliant, all right. It's not like a low, low heat. Three hours is a long time for a chicken. You'd think so. A, what meal did you walk out on?

Um, old ladies carried sausages. Oh, okay. Oh, yeah, mums loved a sausage casserole My old lady's carried sausages. Oh, okay. Oh, yeah, mum's loved a sausage casserole. My mum's a deviled sausage lady. Is it the Maggi mix, Abe? I was trying to make her own, but she can't cook. Oh, no. The rice was bloody raw.

Oh. So what did you... I love the idea that someone's thinking, uncooked rice. Yeah, the rice was bloody raw. What did you walk out for? What did you get instead? Me and my wife just decided to go get some maccas.

Okay. Did you, like, blatantly walk out on it, or did you have a little, no, believe it. No, we kind of, Scott, you know, we had a little bit, and then I looked at my wife and we were like, nah. So we were like, hey, thanks for having us. Pretty full. Don't know.

Maybe we've got a bit of an upset tummy. Anyway, thanks. See you later. And then Macca's on the way home. Macca's on the way home, yeah. Oh, no. Poor mum. I'd love to know what percentage of Macca's and BK's business is done through people who

have tried to cook something at home, but it's not worked out right. Yeah, yeah. Must be a bit. Burn it so it ends up in the bin, so you're like, ah, takeaways it is. All right, thanks thanks you call out Some text messages Somebody said We tried to make a healthy version

Of sweet and sour pork Christ, it tasted terrible The dog You know it's bad When the dog wouldn't even eat it What we ended up eating instead Was one of those packets Of microwavable plain rice

That's a terrible story You didn't even ditch the dinner For something nice You were so embarrassed packets of microwavable plain rice. That's a terrible story. You didn't even ditch the dinner for something nice. You were so embarrassed you couldn't leave the household. Someone said, my wife made a whole wok of red cabbage and pork mince. Very difficult to eat. Faked a phone call. So you've got to pop out for a second.

Popped out and got some takeaways. Oh. I feel bad for her. But you're going to come home stinking of barbecue sauce or that Big Mac sauce and she's going to know what's up. You've got to be so careful too because when you feign liking it, you've got to be like, yeah, it's okay, so that they don't make it again. You know, you can't be like, it's so yum because you might get that dish again. Because they'll be like, well, if she liked it, I'll do it again. Yeah.

My wife makes me a coffee in the mornings before I go to work. Yeah. Problem is, she's like, we're using almond milk now. So I just tip the coffee out in the grate on the way and go and buy a coffee on the way to work. But I don't have the heart to tell her. Just get normal milk. Just say you don't like almond milk.

Yeah. What's the big deal there? It's quite loving with coffee made for me, but it's got to be right. Yeah. We're hearing from a lot of men though, aren't we? What is this saying? Yes. That we're trying to please you and you just don't like it?

Well, just be honest. Who, them or? Everyone. Yeah. Be honest. You don't want to hurt their feelings though. You foolish man. Yeah, he doesn't know. Guy not in a relationship telling you to be their feelings, though. You foolish man. Yeah, he doesn't know.

Going on in a relationship, telling you to be honest in a relationship. This is true. Yeah, that works all the time. Yeah, it works all the time. Somebody else said, my wife was cooking us a meal, and it just wasn't smelling good. It wasn't looking good. So the kids and I said we just needed to pop out and get

something and we got a feed while we were out and came back. The deal was we had to at least try to eat some of it and one of the kids tripped a minute by saying, well, this is yuck because we just had McDonald's. I was about to say there's no way you're going to get your kids to be quiet about it. You can't. No. Don't say

anything. It's a secret. Kids can be pushed to a limit, but you've got to know your kid's limit and if they've just eaten food and you're trying

to make them eat something yuck, it's not happening, is it? It's never going to work. It's never going to work. No. There's something

happening in Australia that has people shook. Racism. That. The depletion of the Great Barrier Reef. By the way,

did you say they found A new venomous snake in Australia Yeah Where's that been Didn't they call it something stupid Like the same name twice What am I making that up It's a scary venomous one

And they're like Where'd you come from Have you been here the whole time They bit one of them And they're like Ouch Dead And he's like

Alright okay Venomous Keep him at a distance. What have they got? Oh my god, sorry, that won't load. Next website. Bandy Bandy. Yeah, I told you. Bandy Bandy.

Wow. It's been discovered and immediately declared at risk of extinction. We've just found this and due to the fact we've only ever found one, it's obviously nearly extinct. Look at it. It's black and it's got white stripes. That's why it's called bandy bandy.

It's got bands on it. It's got white bands on it. Give me a bandy bandy. It looks like those tropical sea snakes. Another reason not to go to Australia. Well, and this is, how many reasons did you give? This is the fourth reason. Coke Zero is going to be phased out in Australia.

Coca-Cola have said that it is happening. No more Coke Zero. I thought when they when the sugar-free Coke came out Coke No Sugar I thought they said then in Australia goodbye Coke Zero and it was a bit of an uproar. I think they said it to be like you just get

yourselves used to that idea. Prepare. And now it's happening. Why are they called that Coke No Sugar? Was it just because sugar-free has kind of become an overused term? They like to use Coke first, so it's Coke Zero, Coke No Sugar, Coke Stevia. Oh, right, I would have just gone Coke Sugar Free. Oh, no, but then there's Diet Coke, isn't there? Which is yuck.

No one should be drinking that. Yeah, get rid of that before you get rid of Coke Zero. And that obviously has people in New Zealand like, um, excuse me, are you going to get rid of it here? Because New Zealanders love Coke Zero. That's my favourite. Yeah, it's my preferred. I've moved on to no sugar, so I'd be okay with it.

But apparently we love Coke Zero in New Zealand, and they've said at the moment they're going to phase it out in Australia, but it's not going to happen here because of the demand from Kiwis. Well, they say that now. Yeah. But the whole point of launching Coke No Sugar was to get rid of Coke Zero because it tasted more like original Coke. But then every time you launch a new one,

you're going to like that more than the last one, right? Because I used to be a Diet Coke and then I had Coke Zero. I'm like, oh, yes. And now you're on Coke No Sugar. Yeah. It's like get rid of Diet Coke. That tastes like... If they got rid of Coke Zero,

I'd just learn to like no sugar. Coke No Sugar, wouldn't I? I'd just be like, oh, this is it. It was like when they used to change Facebook and everyone would be like, man, they've changed Facebook. And you just got used to it, didn't you? Yeah.

Just get used to it. Have you had a real Coke lately? No. Yeah. Not for a to it. Have you had a real coke lately? No. Yeah. Not for a while. It's like crack. Well, because I'm just not used to drinking it. And you drink one and you're just like.

But people who just gum them every day, you've probably got no idea what I'm talking about. Well, no, that's like people that, because I don't really drink a lot of energy drinks. And then on the rare occasion I do, I'm like shaking and I'm just like, woo. Oh, yeah, yeah. Absolutely wired. And people drink like two or three of those a day. Do you know the worst thing is when you go to your friend's house and they've got Pepsi? I'm like, um.

This sums my brother up. I thought I knew you. Yeah. This sums my brother up. He prefers Pepsi. That's his number one There's never been a sentence If you've ever been like I wonder what his brother's like

There's no finer sentence than He prefers Pepsi I want to hear him describe why Everything about him has summed up so like that Yeah yeah I'm like oh I wonder if he'd like this or that

Well he does like Pepsi well obviously he likes that Just that's him Yeah He makes frozen Pepsis at home And I'm like this I'm like this He makes his own I could go get a frozen Coke man I'm gonna make my own

Frozen Pepsi So we're there And he's like I hear I could go get a frozen Coke, but I'm going to make my own frozen Pepsi. Oh, he times it. So we're there. And he's like, I hear... The little beeping on the watch. I'm like, what are you doing? And then I hear the freezer drawer shut. He's like, well, I've got that down to an art.

I know exactly how long that Pepsi's got to be in there from room temperature in there. We're going to take it out, I open it up, and it's slushy like a frozen Pepsi. I was like, for a start, that's not a thing. And how are we related? Frozen Pepsi.

How are we related? Yeah, he's a pharmacist too. Yeah. He's a smart man. How are you related? How are you related? How are we related?

Across the board, how are we related? FEM. A private investigator has revealed signs to watch out for if you believe your partner is cheating. Are these signs that you could mistake as just everyday things? Yeah.

I wanted to say no, but yeah, 100%. Right. But if you maybe collect them all together, like if they're doing all five, then maybe you... Alarm bells. Alarm bells. And this isn't like girls checking on guys. This can be both ways. Okay. It's just interesting because like a lot of people

you've heard these lists before and like a lot of people make stuff up but this is from a private investigator. These are things they have noticed. And see on the regular you'd say. Yeah. Okay. So if your partner is spending time with a new person, they tend to pick up some new interests.

So if they're playing new music out of nowhere that you've never heard them listen to, maybe a new genre of music? Yeah. This happened to me recently. Okay. With K-pop. Okay.

Boy, I'm deep in K-pop right how did that even happen um accidentally but my you know a lot of explains it is she's like where did this k-pop fascination do you watch it the explained about k-pop didn't you after i fell in love with k-pop right okay and then you don't have a korean girlfriend further endeared me right and you know like lately i've been all about Korean food. She probably thinks something's up. There's a lot of... But it's not. No.

No, okay. We drove a Hyundai. We have a Samsung television. Am I a sleeper agent? You could be, yeah. We say a specific word and you're awake. Yeah. And you take over the country.

Right, on behalf of South Korea? No, but no, they're the good Korea. Are they though? I don't know. Well, they gave us K-pop and that is just a wonderful music genre. Yeah, new music that they're listening to. Another one is, if you like someone,

you tend to be influenced a little bit by them. So if they're starting to use new phrases, it could be because they've picked up habits and phrases from someone that they quite like. Oh, right. So they started using extreme sports slang. You do this. You always come in and you're like, okay, I've decided to say

all the time. And she's trying to be like, oh, dear. No, she's the one that got me onto it. Okay. But one thing I have had to explain is the Korean saying, which means it's super delicious, which I picked up from K-pop. Of course. Right, okay, yeah.

But again, that's just another Korean. Do they use that in a song? Oh, they use everything, Megan. Can you? English, Korean. Is there a song that they use it in that you can like sing? No. It's super delicious.

Okay, I'm sorry. But you're not cheating at all on your wife? No. Well, I'm cheating on her with K-pop. Okay, right. But not a person. So far with Megan's list, it does sound, I'm cheating on her with K-Pop. Okay, right. But not a person. But so far with Megan's list, it does sound,

I've got some alarm bells ringing. Right. Yeah. Okay, carry on. So the third, like, what is it? Sign that your partner is cheating.

This is a private investigator's list. Okay. And I've never thought about this one before. The passenger seat is adjusted. Oh. Yeah, it's slid right forward. Who adjusted it? I slide the passenger seat is adjusted. Oh. Yeah, it's slid right forward. Who adjusted it? I slide the passenger seat right forward

because on a whole, not racist fact, Koreans are quite small. Right. Okay. Why? Just in case I meet one of my K-pop artists. I want them to ride up front, but I want there to be room in the back as well.

I've never even thought about that though, but imagine if like, say you cheat on your partner and they're a lot taller and they put the seat back. Would you even think about that? I would notice in a second. Because when Sade uses my car, she slides it right forward and the minute I sit in the seat that's not, and I'm like,

I get so frustrated having to adjust the seat. That's why in my Mazda MX-5, the seats don't really go their back and that's it. It doesn't really go anywhere. You can't go anywhere. The Mazda MX-5 would be the perfect cheating car. Like say you were a middle-aged man who'd grown bored of your heterosexual lifestyle

and was sick of suppressing. You'll want to kiss another man. An MX-5 would be a great vehicle to do it in. Number four, in signs your partner's cheating, according to a private investigator, do they have new underwear or new clothes? They seem to be buying a lot of fancy new undies and they haven't paraded them around in front of you.

Suddenly you notice and be like, oh, when did you buy those? Like a week ago or so. So if they've got new clothes and specifically underwear, ask some questions. Straight up, and this is honest, I've got a pair of socks from Korea.

Okay. Because you got sent that pack and I stole a pair. This is, I must be honest with you. You got sent that Korean Christmas pack last year and when you left it open, I stole a pair of the socks.

Well, that's okay. Okay. That's fine. And the last out of the five signs is they want to do their own laundry. So if they want to do their own laundry, it means that they're hiding something. What could be in their pockets, what could be like marks on their shirts,

they want to double check everything and get it washed. Oh and get the stain pen out for the lipstick on the collar. Yeah. They've also said there's a test you can do. So like you can show up to their work. If you think it's someone at their work, you can just show up unannounced and see how they react. That's not psycho at all.

Check their body language. If they're like rushing and distracted and uncomfortable, then you're like, oh, okay, weren't expecting me, were you? Or you could just ask them maybe. Just straight up ask them. I'd be rushing and distracted because I'd assume I'd been told she was coming and I'd completely forgotten about it.

It does sound kind of like all of those are you. Do you do your own washing? No. Well, I mean, I just dump it in the laundry. So either you do all of it or she does all of it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Someone does all of it. I don't specifically chuck a load on unless, again, moment of honesty, unless there's like an embarrassing skid mark.

Because you try to keep some, you know, you try to keep some aspects of the marriage, you know. You don't want to leave her with that. Yesterday, it was a first for the Smith household. I received my first text message from my daughter. Who doesn't even have a phone. Does she have a phone? No, no, no. She has a phone. Right. But she's, so, I think just

before the break at school, they're learning about keyboards and typing on keyboards and the internet and everything. Yep. Because they've been given this homework of going to this website and it teaches you how to use the internet. Oh yeah, okay. Which is crazy, right? Because when I was that age. I don't think we, I think we had one computer in the entire school.

Yeah. And it made this sound when you started it up. Because it was steam powered, eh? Yeah. There was a tape in it. Do you have to pay for that? Like, is that a link that I can forward to my mum? Good question.

I don't know. How do you see it today? Probably they can sit down with their grandparents and... Teach them a thing or two. They'd both learn. Seriously, though, they do like... I don't want to call your mum a senior, but they do senior courses for seniors.

Special courses. I don't think she would want it. She'd feel a bit, like, overwhelmed doing a special course. They don't want to be... Yeah, they don't want to say they need help. I'll happily just have somebody else do it for them, like their kids. But yeah, I got a message and it says, we're going to meet you soon.

Yeah. And then the kiss emoji from Indie. And then it says, heart, heart, crab, pig, bouquet of flowers, rainbow, snowman, apple, watermelon. Right. Now, one thing I've learned, these kids love emojis. Yeah. Now, one thing I've learned, these kids love emojis. Yep. And then it says, now it's Augie's turn. And it says, Uf du gug. Only must have auto-corrected.

Yep. I vun ho joy. Like it's Icelandic. Oh, she tried. She gave it a go. She whacked the keys. But now they're into it and they're like, I want a message because my dad loves minis, the cars.

Yep. Yesterday, Indy saw one. She's like, I want a message because my dad loves minis, the cars. Yesterday, Indy saw one and she's like, I want a photo of that and I want to send it. So then she sent it to my dad and said, I found this mini love Indy. Joystick, preach hands, cowboy, key, laugh, fingers crossed, lipstick, black police officer,

socks, purse, purse, crown, ham, hat. Right. And how did your dad reply to that? He's like, oh, that looks like a great car. I don't know what the rest means. Because dad will use an emoji. Yeah.

Mostly just the smiling ones. Right. Or he'll use a sweating one if he's like, oh, that was a close call sort of thing. But yeah, I mean, that flurry of emojis very much confused him. And was that enough just to get you a bit emotional? Oh, when I got her message, yeah, I kind of read it and I was like, what? And then I realised that she'd seen it and I was like, oh yeah, her first text. That's all right.

That's all right. And no spelling mistakes or anything, although it could have autocorrected. I think it is, or there is a bit of autocorrect, but then that's good. Not to say she's not advanced. But then if they do spell it wrong and autocorrects it, they can maybe look at it. Nah, the rest of us just have become super reliant. The rest of us have just become super reliant on autocorrect.

I'll take a shot. What do you reckon, autocorrect? No, you've got no idea. Or Google. Well, I'm going to type it into Google now. Google's the best autocorrect in the business. Oh, yeah. Like Microsoft Word just gives up.

Yeah. But you know you're like really stupid when even Google's like, nah,corrector in the business. Oh, yeah. Like, Microsoft Word just gives up. Yeah. But you know you're, like, really stupid when even Google's like, nah, I've got no idea. You're like, what do you mean? I really tried to spell that. Yeah. Friday Flashbacks.

You just, oh, don't. Okay, so I keep this one to myself because I thought there might be a bit of like, Have you seen what it is? Don't look up there. I haven't yet and I'm not going to. So, yeah, I kept it to myself until about five minutes ago and then the producers were like, huh, huh, huh.

And then Fletch has just seen it because we just had to put it in the, yeah, and he's like, so it got to number three in New Zealand. Two icons, like megastars, got together for her album. It's a guy and a girl. And, I mean, it's pop.

I wouldn't say it's a banger. I wouldn't say it's a sing-along. But I think it's good. Oh, well, this is madness. You can't say it's not a banger and not a sing-along. What is it? It's an awesome pop song. I don't mind, though, that if this fails and doesn't do well,

because I'm next week, it's my pick next week and I'm going comedy next week. You've said it now. You have to. He has locked one in a week out. I already know what I'm doing. It's comedy.

Because it'll get to Friday and Fleek will be like, oh no, I can't do that. I can't do that song. No. It's probably going to be better than this. We'll see.

People will be singing along to my one. Yeah. Yeah, okay. But you'll hate yourself for it. Oh, I don't know what your song is. We'll see. People will be singing along to my one. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. But you'll hate yourself for it. Oh, I don't know what your song is. Maybe I will.

Today, Madonna and Justin Timberlake. Four minutes to save the world in brackets. In brackets. In brackets. Enjoy. Please don't send me nasty messages. I only have four minutes to save the world, but I only have to put up with a song for three.

All right, it's your Friday Flashback. ZM. ZM. How you wanna roll I want somebody To speed it up for me Then take it down slow There's nothing for both Well, I can handle that You just gotta show me where it's at

Are you ready to go? Are you ready to go? If you want it You already got it If you thought it It better be what you want Come on. We only got four minutes to save the world. No hesitating. Grab a gun. Grab a gun. Time is waiting. We only got four minutes to save the world. No hesitating.

We only got four minutes. Four minutes. Keep it up, keep it up. Don't be afraid. Madonna. You gotta get them up. Hop. Tick tock, tick tock, tick tock.

That's right. Keep it up, keep it up. Madonna. Justin Timberlake. It's your Friday flashback. Four minutes to save the world on ZM. Seven past eight. Quickly, some feedback.

Just a look on Vaughan's face says it all. I love a well-worded critique. Right. I thought it would be impossible for... I didn't make the song, okay? It went to number three. Megan? What? Now it's refreshed and I've lost it. Oh, I thought it was impossible for anyone to regret this song

more than JT did. But 30 seconds in, Megan must be feeling similar levels of regret for her choice by now, surely. No, because I already watched the video twice this morning and I was like, oh, pretty cool. Somebody else said Megan made my week. Madge on the radio.

Ha-woop-woop. Did it say ha-woop or was that you? Ha-woop-woop. Megan, I'm not angry. I'm just disappointed. Oh, that hurts. Like my teacher used to write on my reports, Megan. Could have tried harder.

Somebody else said I totally forgot about this song. Great pick. And somebody else said, this song slaps, G. Slaps. Well, I mean, you can say the public underwhelmed. C's get degrees. That was 50% at least, I reckon. Next Friday, it's my turn, and I've already locked it in.

I'm going back to 2005. It's comedy. And this was a top 10 song around the world. Don't you bail. And it's comedy now because we laugh top 10 song around the world don't and it's comedy now because we laugh at it don't you bail I'm not bailing

we're not letting him bail 20 seconds into this song you're gonna be like oh it's a horrible song but we're gonna laugh and have fun we're gonna sing it ironically

okay that's why I'm excited about this are you ready for a bit of scandal because I was having a girly goss in the office yesterday yeah and this is why Bryony having a girly goss in the office yesterday.

Yeah, and this is why Bryony's in. Bryony works out in the office. Hi, Bryony. Hello, Bryony. Hi. So I brought Bryony in because something happened to her friend, which has left me aghast. Aghast.

Aghast. And when you hear the story, you're going to understand why her friend doesn't want to talk about it herself. Will I be aghast or will Vaughan be aghast? I'd say so. Will the general public be aghast? The general public will be aghast. Okay.

But she's given Bryony permission to tell the story of what happened to your friend, who shall remain nameless, right? Yes, definitely. So what happened? Okay, so she applied for a job. It was pretty much something that was promoting, like a giveaway sort of job. A promo job. Yeah. Okay.

And it was an interview on the phone, so she was talking to them. Everything was all good. She signed the contract. So she got the job. She got the job, signed the contract. Everything was good to go. They're like, can you start on this day? She's like, yep, everything's good.

Sign the contract. What size uniform would you like? And she said size 14. And when she sent the contract away, she got a call that night saying, hey, sorry, we're going to have to let you go as we've given out our only one size of our size 14 uniform to another worker. So we're going to have to let you go. Sorry for the inconvenience.

And she got this email. She was like, hang on, so they're firing me because I'm size 14? I'm aghast. I'm aghast. You're aghast. That's terrible. I know. She signed the contract. So at that point, are you an employee? You are, right?

Well, yeah. It's done. They said we're going to have to let you go. But you hadn't even braided on. But then it got worse because when she'd emailed them saying, you're firing me because I'm size 14, all the stuff, they were like, no, you couldn't work the days that you said you could work. And she's like, no, I didn't. I said, I could start on this day.

And then it got passed over to the big boss. And she was like, I'm so sorry. We can give you another job somewhere else within this. And she was like, oh, I'm so sorry, like, we can give you another job, like, somewhere else within this. And she was like, you know what, no. Somewhere else where we can hide you because you're a size 14. Pretty much, yeah. So at no point she ever met anyone face to face. They didn't even know what she looked like, pretty much.

Not that I'm saying it's okay if they saw her and were like, no, you're not okay for our job based on your looks. But, you know, they're judging completely over the size of her uniform. So what has she done then? Where's it at? She's just left it. So she's just like...

Can she sue them? I mean, that's an employment court or something, right? It's like Judge Judy, but serious. Employment court, I think. Because if you sign the contract and they're letting you go, that's like unfair dismissal or something, isn't it? If the contract's been signed, surely there's something more that can be done.

What about 90 day? Oh no, that's only on full-time contracts, right? I don't know. Not casual work. So I don't know where she goes from here. I think maybe we could try and get some advice. Maybe someone's been in the same situation, have had it happen to them,

and they did something further about it. I've only ever had a couple of jobs. Yeah, me too. I'm out here. We always say when you're fired from here, we're screwed. Yeah, totally screwed, yeah. So, yeah, has this happened to you? Did you take it further?

Because I feel like she should, but she feels a bit defeated, obviously, at this point in time. Well, maybe you work in like kind of the HR department and you know what your friend could do because that's, yeah,

that's not on. What happened to the contract I just signed? You're just going to tear it up? What contract? Yeah, so please let us know. Yeah, all right. Well, 0800 DALS at MSN number 9696

and maybe we can help out Bryony's friend here. So we just heard a story, Briony who works in our office, she has a friend who applied for a job. She got the job, signed the contract and when they asked what size uniform she was, she replied 14 and they said, oh sorry we don't have any so you can't work here.

They don't have any size 14 uniforms. Like just get a uniform. Yeah, I mean that sounds like an, just get a uniform. Yeah. If, I mean, that sounds like an excuse though, doesn't it? Yeah. Well, that would sure be a way to prove if it was. Yeah, so we wanted to know if you've ever been in this situation. What can, because now she's just kind of left it.

She feels terrible. Yeah, and like, can she do anything about this? Like, can she take them to court? But then, is that going to cost her money? That's not worth it? Yeah, if you don't have money to pay for that kind of thing.

Because lawyers aren't free, are they? No. No. So what is she supposed to do? Somebody, texts range from the very casual approach

of, holy damn, lawyer up baby girl, get that reparation money. That's about how I said it. Yeah. Two people offering actual advice.

Somebody said, a very important question is, did the employer sign the contract too? Right. And did she get a copy of that contract? Because when you sign it and send it back, they sign it and send you a copy, so you've got one for your records.

Legally, they have to. You have to have a copy of your contract. Right. Without them signing it. Yeah, right. I'd have to ask her. Well, Kate's on the line. Kate, you work in HR.

I do. So what should she do in this situation? Well, if all the ducks are in a row, that's a hundredth into binding contracts. So she's technically an employee. So dismissal under discrimination. Is it difficult, though, if she doesn't have a copy of the contract,

then she's screwed, right? She can request a copy of the contract, which they should be able to give her. But what if they said, oh, we didn't end up signing it? What's that, sorry? What if they say, oh, well, we didn't end up signing it? Say if she didn't have a copy and she's like, can I get a copy of that contract?

And they're like, oh, we didn't end up signing it. Yeah, I guess she'd have to ask if there was any proof of engagement in terms of emails or photos or things like that. And then so if, like you say, all the ducks are in a row, she's got the contract, what could she get out of that if she went to court? Like, would she be able to get millions of dollars?

Oh, probably not millions. Okay. Depending on the wage issues and the hours and stuff, it would be lost earnings. Could be hurt and humiliations. So, it would be a few thousand. And would she have to pay for a lawyer or are there services that can help you?

You can go to the likes of Citizens Advice Bureau, which can give you free support. Because I want maximum return for little payments. You have to represent yourself. I don't want to pay anything. You have to represent yourself. That'd be pretty legit though. I can imagine you doing so.

You could spend six years doing law, Megan, to represent yourself. Thanks for your call, Kate. Somebody else said bias in recruitment. Regardless, a contract doesn't matter. That comes from someone who works in recruitment. regardless, a contract doesn't matter. That comes from someone who works in recruitment. Oh, yeah, right.

And there's lots of lawyers that run a no-win, no-fee. You hear them? You think about that, you hear, yeah. Remember, it's no-win, no-fee. Somebody else said that you might be surprised

to learn that in New Zealand, our discrimination laws don't cover weight discrimination. Really? Dr. Cat Paws, who I've seen on the news and I always chuckle because her name's Cat Paws.

Kitty cat hands. Except it's paws as in like, stop right there. Has done a fair bit of work on it. But at the moment, there's no discrimination laws covering weight discrimination.

So they could literally say to you, I don't want to hire you because you're bigger than what I want in my workplace and that's fine. There's no law to protect, I don't want to hire you because you're bigger than what I want in my workplace. And that's fine. There's no law to protect anyone from that. According to this person who seems to be in the know.

Oh my God. That's not okay. Heavens. Well, there goes millions of dollars. It's not going to be millions of dollars in New Zealand. It might be in America, but it's not going to be millions of dollars in New Zealand It might be in America But it's not going to be millions of dollars here It's just awful that someone thinks that's okay To say in a workplace

Also, yeah Lee, have you been in this situation? Yes I have, but not overweight It was over Southern Cows And I managed to take the employer to court And get paid out Wow, okay, so like for lost earnings and stuff? Yes, and they had to pay my lawyer's costs as well.

So you did get a lawyer. So you really have to back yourself to win. Yes, you do. But I do recommend that she does. Are you a millionaire now? No, definitely not. No, okay. But enough for a nice holiday.

Yes, I did, yeah. Okay, you're nice. Okay, what to me is more important? The holiday? No, no, no, getting a last holiday. Yes, I did, yeah. Okay, you were nice. Okay, what to me is more important? The holiday? No, no, no, getting the last laugh. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Being a stubborn individual that always has to have the last laugh in an argument.

Thanks, Nicole. And that's the legal last words. Fact of the day, day touches on what I would call one of the most passionate ongoing series of behind-the-scenes arguments here at the show. Okay. And it's about what's the best nut. Oh, we had the same thing yesterday.

How many hours have we dedicated to a good argument on what the best nut is? And it gets quite passionate and screamy at times. Just on this, I went to the supermarket the other day and picked up a basket, and in the basket was a giant Brazil nut. Yum. Is that for free?

Because technically I was outside. I was outside of the barriers. You know those anti-trolley wheel out barriers? They're not going to be able to sell that because yuck. So if you want to eat it, go nuts. I didn't. I didn't. I like what you did there.

Go nuts. But I was thinking like technically is that free? Could I have? Yeah, I reckon. Yeah, if you wanted to. But again, yuck. Would you have washed it? No, I reckon. Yeah, if you wanted to, but again, yuck. Okay. Would you have washed it?

No, I wouldn't have eaten it. You wanted it with a legitimacy of it. It was there. The idea was there, yeah. Okay. Well, we spent a lot of hours and one of my favourites, this is about one of my favourites,

the macadamia nut. Oh, I thought you were going to tell us that overall, like the most nutritious and healthy nut or something. Well, I've got some. There's a little bit of that in today's fact. The main fact.

Okay. About the macadamia nut. Is that the shell of the macadamia nut is the hardest nutshell in the world. I probably could have just told you that. So in a nutshell, it's the hardest. Why did you like that so much? The macadamia nut, very hard to get out of its nut shell. In a nutshell.

It's a hard nut to crack. Very hard nut to crack. Requiring 300 pounds of pressure poo square inch to open it. A human jaw cannot bite through a macadamia nut. Are they in the dark brown? Yes, yeah, yeah. And you have a look inside the nut. Very, very hard to get out of its nut.

It's like a smooth, isn't it quite smooth, the shell? It's brown, it's husky, it's got a little bit on the inside. Sort of a mini coconut in a way, but the nut inside's different. But yeah, one of the, the world's hardest nut to crack are the macadamia nut. But then when I was like looking this up. Is that the fact of the day? Yeah. Christ, I could have told you that.

It's hard to crack. We all know that. I've never ever seen a macadamia nut in its shell. Are you kidding me? Where do you get a macadamia nut in its shell and you don't have an apparati

that can exert 300 pounds of... You get a nutcracker. Or you do it with a hammer out on the back. That's how everybody was doing it on the internet. I googled how do you open a nutcracker.

So you get them in vice grips because it'll slip right out of a pair of barbecue tongs. So these dudes have got like vice googled how do you open a nutcracker. So you get them in vice grips. Yeah. Because it'll slip right out of a pair of barbecue tongs. So these dudes have got like vice grips. Yeah, you get a nutcracker. Have you ever seen one in its shell? Yeah, because my parents, I don't know why, but at Christmas they'd always buy a bag of nuts.

I don't know why. Oh yeah, that's at Christmas. That's why the nutcracker. That's why the nutcracker's a Christmas tradition. You know the joke of the... No. You put the nut in his mouth and you lever him on the back and he goes and cracks the nut. Oh, right. Okay. That's why he's a Christmas tradition. You know the joke of the... No. You put the nut in his mouth and you lever him on the back and he goes and cracks the nut.

Oh, right. Okay. That's why he's a Christmas tradition. You put a bag of shelled nuts in. Yeah. And then, like, yeah, someone always goes hard on the macadamias with the hammer out the back.

But I've never seen a macadamia in its shell. Oh. I've seen them encased in many a chocolate. Right. Oh, yeah. For sure. A coated macadamia nut. But once you get in, the nut's soft.

But on the outside, super hard. I've never seen one in a shell before. So all these guys are on the internet with it in a vice grip going, bang, with a hammer. Because that's the only thing that I could find that was hard enough. Or just buy them from the supermarket de-shelled. No, but it's part of the fun, you know? Is it fun?

Yeah. Nah. But then you're like, the trick is you've got to get it out of its shell but not crush the nut. That's the spirit of it. Oh, it's an art. Or the macadamia nut native to New South Wales and Australia. Did you know that?

I did not. Are you trying to add sub facts? No, I've found this page of the house. A whole lot of facts. They're like the Macadamia Nut Council or something. They're like, hey, kids, you did an assignment on macadamia nuts? You're going to love these following facts. Right.

The world's fattiest nut. Walnut. No, no, that is. Oh, it is. Macadamia nut. Yeah, no, that is. Oh, it is. The macadamia nut. Yeah, 80%. Fat content. Right.

It's oil. And the oil of the macadamia nut can be used in cosmetics as well. Yep. Cool. Okay. 300 pounds. You can do it with your teeth. You'd break your teeth.

You'd do it with a hammer out the back. You'd hurt yourself in a vice grip, as previously discussed. So today's fact of the day is the macadamia nut is the hardest nut to crack. I'm just so ripped off with that. Whatever. Wait a minute. Whatever. You played Justin Timberlake and Madonna for Friday Flashback

nay under half an hour ago and you're coming at me about feeling ripped off? You're like the macadamia nut. You owe the nation an apology. The macadamia nut is the hardest shell. No shit. Okay. Hey, can we not fight in front of the kids? It's been a long week.

No, I'm not doing it. Fine, we don't need you. Did well without you before you came along. You can do well without you again. Elmer's dribbled. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. If she's not going to do it, you've got to try

harder. We're going through the top. I guess that answers the question. Do you guys do that live every time? Yes, we do. Because this is a nightmare. Here we go.

Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. And I just turned Megan's mic off, so that also answers the question, does Vaughn know how to push the buttons? Yes, he does. Only because it literally has a giant label that says Megan. Megan's microphone. And how long did it take you to find the button? They can't tell because they didn't see you.

Quite a while, because there's one over here with your name on it too. Megan Orks. Oh, no, that says Vaughn. No, that's your DJ name. Did that just change? That's about wrong too. No, because I couldn't fit the whole Vaughn. No, that's your DJ name. Did that just change? That's about wrong, too. No, because I could have put the whole Vaughn in. Get rid of the space.

ZM's Secret Sound. With Seeds My Beacon. So, we are looking for a soundkeeper to take over Soundkeeper Gary's job for this season of Secret Sound. Now, there's a twist. $50,000 if you can keep your sound a secret. And after four or five weeks, if nobody guesses your sound,

you walk away with the $50,000 cash. Yeah. That does mean that you have to make the sound. Yeah. And a lot of people are saying, like, what's stopping people telling their friends or splitting the cash. Yes.

But we do have a legal team and you will sign a lot of legal documents and it's New Zealand. I don't think you can get away with this. No. Like it's one degree of separation in New Zealand really, isn't it?

One or two degrees. I'd rather keep it a secret and keep all the money for myself. Yeah, exactly. Than halve it with anyone. Because then if you tell your friend and they win, they actually don't have to give you half. Imagine that. Yeah.

Yeah. All right. So one of the people who have registered, ZM Online, this is how you do it. You upload a video of your sound and maybe tell us a bit about yourself. Put in all your details. It's Kendall. Good morning, Kendall. Hi, how's it going?

Good. Now, $50,000, it's a lot of cash. You've registered. Have you thought much about what you'd do with that cash? Oh, there's so many things I would love to do. $50,000 is a lot of money, but I'm a bit of an in a unique situation moment. I really need a new, bigger car and a new, bigger house. Why is that? Because I'm having bit of an in a unique situation moment. I really need a new bigger car and a new bigger house. Why is that?

Because I'm having quadruplets. Is that four babies? That's four, yeah. Because you often hear of like triplets. Yeah. And obviously twins are more common. But how common is quadruplets? Well, the last ones in New Zealandaland were 23 years ago i didn't even

know it was possible oh my god seriously the last time quadruplets in new zealand was 23 years ago how did that go down when you found out like how did they they break that news to you um it was kind of a it was yeah because my first scan showed one baby my My second scan showed two. And then my third scan at the start, it was the triplets evident, and it wasn't until the end that the lady said, oh, you're actually having four. Have you had another scan since? Because it sounds like they're multiplying.

You could have eight by now. No, we can't. And there was for a second where the ultrasound person was like, oh, wait, and then my husband was like, no. No, no, that's right, they just did an orderly, they formed an orderly queue

and the one that was first has gone back to the end of the queue. So you've got good reason to keep this a secret because $50,000 would buy a people mover and it would feed

like your kids for a while now that you're going to have four of them. Okay, so what I thought we'd do is you've given us a secret sound, we haven't heard, so what I thought we'd do is you've given us a secret sound.

We haven't heard this. I thought what we'd do is we'd run through like the scenario, like if you were our soundkeeper, how it would go down. So maybe, Vaughan, do you want to be the caller? Yeah, I'll try to. What's your fake name?

Timmy. Okay, okay. All right, so Megan and I will pretend that you're away or something, Vaughan. And Timmy's on the line to guess our secret sound. Good morning, Timmy. G'day, guys. Oh, God.

Now, before we get to the secret sound, I'd like to take this opportunity to just peddle a little bit of business. I've got a little bit of a, I'm an entrepreneur. Okay, right, Timmy. You had all the salmon right. Salmon that was no good for eating, so I've turned it into salmon burley. Oh, right to me. You had all the salmon right, salmon that was no good for eating, so I've turned it into salmon burley. Oh, right you did. It's packed with omega-3 and it'll great for fishing or for a family barbecue.

So if you guessed a secret sound, you'd put it into your salmon burley business. I'm doubling down. You're doubling down. Well, we've actually got Kendall on the phone. This is her secret sound. She's the one having the four babies. Yeah, she is. You've heard that. What a story.

What a story. When you guys first said it, I googled it. Did you? And the last person to have the four babies in New Zealand was a sheep. Right, okay. That was in the paper. Right. Well, we're going to play you the secret sound. Have a listen.

Sounds like it's been recorded of Game of Thrones, you know, when they're making the swords. Yeah, it does sound a bit like an iron forge. What do you think the secret sound is to me? You know what? To be totally honest, it sounds like when I'm out on my boat. Yeah. And I'm just dropping anchor. Okay.

You know the sound of the anchor going over? The chain hits? Yeah, yeah, yeah, right. Okay. I think it's anchor related. Okay. So you think it's an anchor? I'm going to go with anchor, yes.

Okay. Kendall, is it an anchor? I'm sorry, Timmy, but you're not even close. Oh, Timmy. Oh, well. You know what they say, guys. That's how the burly crumbles. Into the ocean and then you have a swarm of fish they feed. Okay, thanks, Timmy.

The bigger fish come to feed on them. Thank you, Timmy. Kendall, thank you for your secret sound. You're obviously in the running along with everybody else who is registered to be our next soundkeeper for our new season of Secret Sound. Thanks to Samo Bacon. Thanks. Good luck. All the best. Good luck squeezing out those...

With your babies. I was going to say squeezing out or are they going to... They'll probably come out the top, I think, right? Can you give birth to four babies? No. It's just the sheep. Is Timmy still here?

Yeah, g'day fellas. Ladies. I'll just hang up on Timmy there. He's gone. Thank you, Kendall. Good luck. All right. This is how you add

nine years to your life and it isn't cheap but it is fun. Do I have to eat it? What? Do I have to eat something? No. Okay.

Doesn't involve eating at all. So a study claims that if you attend, this is done by a behavioral science expert as well, so it's a proper study. If you attend concerts regularly, it can increase your lifespan by up to nine years. You said it didn't involve eating.

That doesn't, oh. Watching a concert isn't eating. You gotta eat and have a few drinks, eh? Yeah. Yeah, okay, right. Handy. Does it say

if you drink alcohol at the concert that neutralises the effect? Ah. Well, yeah, because alcohol can be a depressant, can't it?

So, yeah, maybe. But the logic here is that live music increases feelings of self-worth, closeness to others and especially mental stimulation

which all contribute to one's sense of well-being. Well you always leave feeling good and you always don't generally go to a gig by yourself. So experiencing a gig for just 20 minutes can result in a 21% increase of feelings of well-being.

Do I get to say earplugs? So loud. They're saying once every two weeks and that's why I'm saying this can get expensive because you know how much concert tickets are. But then that doesn't mean you have to go to a Spark Arena show or, you know, a big stadium show. Yeah.

I still have to leave my house. But you could go to a covers band. Do they do bands at the RSA? Yes, they do. There you go. They actually do my house. Yeah, but you could go to a covers band. Do they do bands at the RSA? Yes, they do. There you go. They actually do karaoke too. Yeah, they do. Would that count as a live gig?

Yeah, it would. Because how did you feel after the last karaoke at the Raza you went to? Pretty good. Yeah, there you go. See? Feeling of self-worth. Didn't have a lot of $3 beers though. That helps.

That always helps. And you're going to share. I am going to share, yes. I'm really looking forward to share. Really looking forward to share. So your going to share, yes. I'm really looking forward to share. Really looking forward to share. So your sense of self-worth. I wish I'd got tickets to Kendrick Lamar. Lamar.

I wish I'd got. Kendrick Lamar. Lamar. Am I emphasising the wrong? Yeah, yeah. Well, it's not too late. Can I get tickets? Eh.

It felt good saying I wish I'd got them, but now it's dawning as a reality that could happen, you know. You're thinking about warm home? Yeah. All right. ZDM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. For more, check out ZDM online.