ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Megan Podcast - July 23 2019

Episode Date: July 23, 2019

We kick off 20 Questions, Jamie Morton from "My Dad Wrote A Porno" chats with us, and have your photos ever been used for online dating apps?See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

ZM. Head music. Lives here. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. ZM. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. Thanks, Anya. Good morning. Welcome to the show, Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. And today we start 20 questions. Yes. Coming up at 7 o'clock and at 8 and we'll play at 7 and 8 every morning for the next few weeks. Your chance to win cash. We're going to start with $2,000. And if nobody can guess the thing that we're thinking of, then it will double. Yeah. It'll double for the next round of 20 questions

where we start afresh with a new item. Right. You're thinking of something, Vaughan. Correct. I have thought of it. I've locked in what we are going to be playing with. Okay. New Zealand has 20 questions.

To work out what it is that's rattling around inside. Is it an animal? Oh, we're not starting yet. That's a good example. Yes. That's a good example of a question. Vaughan would then say yes or no. Yes.

And then you would have a guess. Yes. And if you guess correctly, $2,000. Yep. So take a couple of guesses when we start this morning at 7 and then give you another chance at 8 o'clock. The top six is coming up. Yes, today's top six.

Disney is apparently looking to launch an airline. Which will involve characters that we're aware of from Disney. It'll be all Disney themed. I don't know if this specifically flies to Disney destinations. So like Mickey is your flight attendant or something? I guess so. Are you allowed to have flight attendants with giant flammable ears? Very good question.

Let alone fitting them between tight spaces. You know, every now and then you have to cross paths with a flight attendant. Do they want people to hate them, Disney? Because nobody likes airlines, do they? They are often complained about, aren't they? But the top six things to expect from Disney Air. Flesh, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast, ZM. All right, you lot, listen up.

It's story time. Story time, three news headlines for interesting, quirky, odd, unusual news stories. And Vaughan and Megan, you've got to pick one of the following three. Okay. Headline one, the one that got away. Headline two,

police appeal for meow. Police appeal for meow? Yes. And headline three, woman gives birth leaving doctors in shock. Those are your headlines. Police appeal for meow. Yeah, police appeal for meow. Police appeal for meow.

Yeah, police appeal for meow. Appeal for meow. Woman gives birth what? Leaving doctors in... You're not allowed to Google the headlines. Gives birth leaving doctors shocked. Although I will maybe permit this just because I want to see your face. When you see...

Do the doctors get a... Like a... No, no. Ah! What? Not a three-headed baby. A three-headed baby. It's a three-headed baby.

You can't unsee that photo either. They're not like full heads, but there's like definite... They've got hair on them. Don't look at that. Don't be looking at that anymore.

No. Poor. Horrible. Poor. Wowzers. What caused that? Dunno. I want to blame

Chernobyl, but she's in... Where did you say she was? China. China. Right. Was it Caesarian?

God, I hope it was Caesarian. Oh, goodness me. Well, we go now to Canada where the Royal Canadian Mounted Police in British Columbia have apologised after live streaming a press conference on the murder of an American woman and an Australian man. And you may have, this is in the news, it's a big story.

These tourists were just found murdered. Oh, the two blonde women? No, so it's just an American woman and an Australian man. Oh. So police have appealed for it. There's been news articles

about a blue van, you know, one of those classic old style American blue panel vans. Yeah. Well, they went to Facebook live to live stream.

Yeah. Like a Scooby-Doo van. Like a big... Oh. Well, they went to Facebook Live to live stream. Yeah. Like a Scooby-Doo van. Like a big... Oh, no. Can you see what's wrong with that live stream? Now, this is, you

know, appealing for suspects in two horrific murders. What happened? They live streamed the entire live stream with the police chief there with cat ears.

With a filter. With a filter. And this only happened a couple of weeks ago. In Pakistan. In Pakistan. with the police chief there with cat ears. With a filter. With a Snapchat filter. And this only happened a couple of weeks ago. In Pakistan. In Pakistan. And that was embarrassing. What's it on Snapchat? How do you?

No, it's a Facebook Live. How do you do this on Facebook Live accidentally? Or can you not do it accidentally? Surely you can swipe to turn it off, right? Someone's got to be monitoring that. Well, maybe not if they accidentally set it up before someone's on stage. Yeah, and then they just have a look at it. And it's on cat filter.

They leave the camera sitting there, the iPad or whatever, the phone. Yeah. It's on a mount. Then they walk away. The person walks on stage, but cat filter, unbeknownst to them, is enabled. Like it was on that dog filter on Snapchat because it'd be like the whole time. Yeah, every time he shoved it in his mouth. So yeah.

Oh no. Apparently the British, what do they call them? The Royal Canadian Mounted Police in British Columbia did tweet out and say, yes, we are aware and addressing it as it's an automatic setting. Thank you.

We will rectify the issue with the video very shortly. But that's not the default though, right? No, it's not. You have to like flick to it. Oh heck. Yeah. Quite embarrassing.

Especially in such a serious situation. I know. That's what everyone's as well. Especially on such a serious situation. I know. That's what everyone's just like. Yeah. Earps. Earps. I had to go under the house yesterday. Had to?

Well, Megan, I decided to play plumber. Oh, God. Should I have left it to a qualified expert? Probably. No, I shouldn't have. I actually solved my own plumbing issue. Well, for now. But it was the first time I'd been that far under our house.

Okay. I saw some things. Oh, my God. Fleshforn and Megan, the podcast. ZM. So, you might find this ironic given the fact that I don't have hair. But you know in the bottom of the shower, that little thing that catches the hair so the hair doesn't go down the drain? Like the trap

Yeah It always gets me in trouble I always have to empty it Why do you have to empty it? Because Shadow doesn't want to touch it Because it's gross Yeah it is gross It is pretty gross

Yeah I did mine the other day And I just got the brush And I was just like Yeah What's in yours? Why don't it just gunk? Yeah it gunks up

It just builds up soap scum Because the way it said The water will sit in it Yeah Soap scum up. It just builds up soap scum. Because the way it said the water, it will sit in it, eh? Yeah. Soap scum and stuff. It's just gross. And then you mix in hair and bleh. So anyway, I was cleaning that out the other day.

I was naked because I was in the shower. And I turned around and my bum went against the glass. And it was kind of cold. Yeah. But that shook this little, we've got one of those things that you hang over the. A shower caddy. A shower caddy. A shower caddy, that's the name of it.

And at the bottom layer, it's weird, it's got two little holes so the water drains out of the shower caddy. Yeah. But they're exactly just a little bit bigger

than these little bottles of shampoo. Oh yeah. That I use in my bed. Okay. And the shampoo went, whoop, down the hole,

whoop, down the wall, whoo, down the plug. Okay. And because I had the hair trap out, down the hole, down the wall, down the plug. Okay. And because I had the hair trap out, down the hole and around the corner. Right. And I was like, oh, well, that'll go down the drain. That'll be fine.

So what went down the liquid or the bottle? No, the bottle, the shampoo bottle. Oh, right. The little wee bottle of shampoo went wee down the hole. Oh, my. You're an amateur. You don't open up the hole and then just have all these hazards. Yes. You be careful. Oh, next time I will take

the caddy out or just make sure those aren't right next to the hole on the caddy. Because the caddy's got high shells of this at all. So it goes down and I'm like, that's just going to get washed into the tank. That'll be fine. Right. Then the shower was draining really slow. Right. And I knew exactly what the problem was.

And I was like, well, I know what the problem is. I can solve this problem myself. So I climbed under the house. But like, under the house is a different world. Because you're under there and people can't hear you when you're like, hey! People can't hear you, but you can hear like,

it was quite creepy because I was under the house and the dog walked down the hallway and it was like, scraping on wood and it was like... It was like a scraping on wood and it was like right above me. It's like Stranger Things. Yeah, yeah, there's a very Stranger Things feeling to it. And I'm crawling army style under there,

crawling through all manner of like animal skeletons because when cats kill birds or rats, they just drag them under the house. And I'm like crawling, I'm dust crawling and I'm banging my head. And there's spiders everywhere.. And there's spiders everywhere. Yeah, there's spiders everywhere. I would have called a plumber. The spoiler alert, I survived.

But when I just on the spiders thing, I got out and I was like dusting myself off. And I was like, phew. And then at the corner of my eye, I caught a little bit of movement. I looked down and there was this massive black spider like on my chest. And I was like, ah! And I swept it away. Right. But I undid the shower thing from under there.

Yeah. And I got the shampoo bottle out because I found a bit of wire so I like pushed it down. And why? Just because I was on my back lying on anything like, because I've just been army crawling. And if you've ever done like CrossFit, that's quite hard. Yeah. The bear crawls and the army crawls. I was like, yeah.

And I was looking down and I just unscrewed it and I could see it down there with my head torch. So I found this random bit of wire under the house and I hooked it out. So I'm out, I'm done. Yeah. But then I like roll back onto my stomach to be crawling out.

I roll over and I'm literally face to face with a carcass of something. And it's so weird. I'm like, what are you? I thought it was a turtle. A dead turtle? Why would you have a dead turtle under your house? That's what I said.

I got the wire that I'd used and I flicked it over and I was trying to like work out what it was. Oh my gosh. Because it was at that, it had been dead for a long time but it hadn't just like lost all its skin and everything. So I was like, what are you? And so like the grossness and the immediate shock of seeing something dead that close to my face wore off. Yeah, right. So I was like, what are you? And so the grossness and the immediate shock of seeing something dead that close to my face wore off.

Yeah, right. And I just began investigating. And I thought it was a turtle. And it turns out it was just a very, very big squashed rat. Oh, like a pancake rat. Was it in a turtle costume? Yeah, it was dressed as a ninja turtle. It was paying homage.

It died last Halloween. You'd think a rat would go to a Halloween party as Splinter from the Ninja Turtles, but apparently this rat couldn't be told no and it went as a ninja turtle. It doesn't want to be typecast. No, exactly. It's sick of your shit, typecasting.

It wants to go as a turtle. It'll damn well go as a turtle. But I was under there. I was like, plumbers, eh? Oh, yeah, pay them what they need. This is why they get paid what they do. Because they're under there but they're also dealing

with poos and wheeze. I know. Spiders and poos and wheeze. Spiders, poos, wheeze, dead rats. Dressed as turtles. Weird drips on their face and stuff.

Miscellaneous drips. Miscellaneous stinky drips. So you'll need a plumber back then when you when this pipe starts leaking and falls off? I think I've done it. Did you screw it up tight enough?

I actually screwed it on tighter than it was on. Right. Too tight? Yeah, because I am. Probably too tight. Flesh, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast, ZM. Hello. Just giving it the casual out that it deserves.

I learned of a tradition, and intern Anya will need your opinion on this as you are our senior Dutch correspondent. What, because she's got a Dutch boyfriend? Because your boyfriend's Dutch. He's got a Dutch name. Andy. Oh, no, Caitlin's just working on it. Turn on your microphone.

Are we here? There we go. Oh, good day. James goes away for one week on a catamaran. James 2.0 goes away on a catamaran. He's on a catamaran. In Fiji. In Fiji, yeah.

A boat that lives half of its life in Fiji and half of its life in New Zealand. Oh, sorry about it. I'm a boat. All right. Well, the mics are on. Now, your boyfriend is Dutch. Yeah, and I've also just been there. To Dutch.

To Dutch. To Dutch land. Yeah. Yeah, I went there a few weeks ago. How did you like that? It's technically Germany, isn't it? I'll just stop and correct myself. Deutschland is technically Germany, isn't it? Yes. The Netherlands.

It was just beautiful. If you haven't been, you simply must. You simply must add it. All the canals and the bicycles. Oh, breathtaking. Did you get out of Amsterdam, though? Oh, absolutely. I only spent one day in Amsterdam because I'm real cultured so I went around to the rest of it. You wanted to see the windmills, the clogs, the inside. No, you wanted to

stay for free with family. That's what that translates to. Well, this happens in Holland, in the Netherlands, over summer because it's warmer. Obviously, if you did this in winter, your children would just turn into icicles because it's freezing cold, but

they abandon their children in the forest for a night. How old are we talking? 12 to 15 is kind of the age where you do this. It's a Dutch tradition. It's a scouting tradition. It's just dropping. Groups of children are deposited in a forest.

Deposited? Very scientific sounding. Deposited in a forest. Deposited? Very scientific sounding. Deposited in a forest and expected to find their way back to base. So go home, stay home. Yeah, but ultimate. Yeah, like a big one. Right. Yeah, and so you just drop them off

and they've just got to find their way back in the night with very minimal support. Or they might have a torch, but that'd be about it. Right. Are you not allowed cell phones or maps I'm guessing? No, no cell phones or maps and to make it more difficult, adults will blindfold the children on the way to drop them off

and then they'll hide in the bush and try to scare them. This sounds fantastic. What? Do you ever hear of this happening to your boyfriend? I feel like this is something that may have cropped up in conversation once, but it has never come up. Well, that's why you've got him.

You've got to get a... He didn't do it. He's weak. I'm sorry? He's into spinning discs, DJs, and drift cars. We need to take him and abandon him in a forest. But he grew up here though, didn't he?

So he probably missed this tradition. Yeah, he lived there for a couple of months when he was 12 though. So he should have been there while he was there. Is he scared of forests

and being left in the dark alone? This is great. I reckon this is great. He's never mentioned it. I remember when we did camp at high school, like junior high school,

like year 10. We had to do something called the solo and it was where you had to just, you walked along this trail and the teacher would like drop you off one at a time and like the real scared kids

got dropped off last because they were going to be like the closest to the teacher when it all went to shit and it always did. And you just had to sit in the bush for like two hours. It was quite horrible. pitch black we weren't allowed torches or anything at night yeah we smuggled i smuggled a glow stick not up how i just up my sleeve right okay um and

like when they left i cracked open the glow stick, but the light attracted possums and stuff, and I couldn't hear them all around me. I was terrified. Yeah, you just had to sit there in damp New Zealand, Coromandel Forest. By the way, this was just, this would have been 1996, so eight years after those Swedish tourists were murdered, and we were in the same vicinity.

Good. Which is always really good that the teacher tells you. No, they haven't found their remains. I thought maybe the glow stick would have lit them up, but they didn't. Thankfully. Crikey. What happens if when the teacher goes to find all the kids, they're like, oh, there's a couple missing. Well, that's what the nuts kids did.

They would. They'd just like take off. They'd follow the trail back confidently in the dark to try to freak the teachers out. And, of course, the teachers would come back. It would be pitch black They'd only have half the children they left with I mentioned coming back from school camp

And you've only got half the kids Yeah The others are in the Coromandel Forest somewhere They've gone feral Yeah They've gone feral up there Finding another occupation But yeah the Dutch do it

This is like a Dutch tradition Boys, girls, everything You just get dropped in the bush for the night I like it, I like it Yeah I do not like it Sounds awful. Flesh, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast, ZM.

Now, I'm no massive fan of chihuahuas. That's the, some people call them chihuahuas, but I believe chihuahua is the correct original Mexican pronunciation of chihuahua. But, I mean, this is pretty horrible. A woman was outside hanging her washing in the UK when down swooped a very large seagull and apparently in its beak picked up her four-year-old Gizmo the Chihuahua

and flew away with it. Oh, my God. Gizmo. So I, like, laughed initially when I saw this, but then I saw that I was trying to find an update to see because this happened yesterday. Yeah. Well, that was when I read about it,

and then I was like, I need to find an update. Has Gizmo been found? And one of the latest headlines is the owner of Gizmo has been, like, targeted by trolls. Oh, why? Who are, like, teasing and taunting her. And, you know, if you've ever lost a pet, it's a pretty traumatic time. Yeah.

But, yeah, she said it's really not helpful. Yay, the internet. She hasn't found it. People are being mean. No. I cannot find an update that says, like there's been maps released, some seagull experts have even weighed in saying that this must have been one of those molly, molly gulls?

No, molly hawks. Molly hawks, yeah. To be able to pick up a dog of that size. But they're saying even one of those would struggle to carry this dog for very far. Because it gives a moment of being a chihuahua, but would they eat it? Because I've seen seagulls eat meat,

and it blew my mind, and pigeons. seen seagulls eat meat and it blew my mind. And pigeons. But seagulls eat fish. Yeah. So of course they'll eat, they're not picky. I never always just think they eat chips. They're just scavengers. Yeah, right. So they'll give it a go. So a chihuahua can get up to 3kgs. They could be as light as like one.

Yeah, this one kind of looks maybe in the middle of that. Because you know, every now and then you'll see a really fat chihuahua and you're like, you're not going to be able to do what you were bred to, which is chase like rats and stuff and rabbits down holes and flush them out. Yeah. You're not going to be able to do that. You're too fat to get in the hole. But this doesn't look like a fat chihuahua.

But, yeah, she's on the lookout for the, there's maps been drawn up of possible drop zones. But that's the thing. Like if the seagull decided halfway along that it was too heavy and just dropped Gizmo. Yeah, she said, well, as far as when she was watching it fly away, it didn't drop Gizmo in the time that she was watching.

Whoa. Was Gizmo crying like your dog just barked fly away? So apparently this story, often then they look for different angles on the story. Yeah. The Sun, the newspaper that printed this, has done a history of like seagull attacks in the UK. In 2015, in August,

the seagull got a Jack Russell off the ground. What? But only just off the ground before. Yeah, right. It couldn't maintain the flying. And another time, a woman was in the kitchen, heard her dog yelping, ran into the backyard and saw a seagull with a dog by the scruff of the neck trying to carry it away. So have seagull experts said what they want with the dogs?

I guess they just see them as food, like you say. They don't pick up something. Are they training them for dog fighting or something? Just for a lull. What, to snatch dogs for dog bait? Yeah. Or for the seagull to actually enter the ring? Yeah.

I don't think a seagull would stand a chance against a doggo Argentina. But apparently somebody else said they once watched Their rabbit get swooped up By what was described As a Great black-backed seagull Which is apparently A big Right

Yeah And yeah There's another one Somebody said Their son was set upon By a flock of seagulls And you know Really badly

Hurt Cut And everything Other reports are Cats Cats going Seagulls They're vicious Crazy They can get really and, you know, really badly hurt, cut and everything. Other reports are cats. Cats going. Seagulls, yeah, they're vicious. Crazy.

They can get really territorial and super vicious, but yeah, as yet, no sign of gizmo. Oh. Oh. So, yeah, well, initially we were like, hey, that's weird, that's true. It's somebody's beloved pet. Yeah.

Sad. What a way to go. Falling out of a seagull's mouth. Picked up by a seagull. It would be the classic, put me down, put me down, put me down. Don't put me down, don't put me down. Flesh, fauna, Megan. The podcast.

ZM. Rogue bloody boogs up my nose. I can't get it out. Have you tried blowing? Yeah, blow and pick. And then you pick it like hard out. I think I smushed it against the interior side of my, and then it's, I really got to get in there.

It's something more satisfying than when you actually get it. Oh, yeah. And it's like, no, I'm not going to go into detail, but you know, like you'll get one every now and then, and it's longer than you expect, and you feel it like tugging on your brain. And for a moment you speak Japanese. Oh, how does that move?

And then you pull it out and you're like, I don't know. Whoa, what happened? Anyway, today's top six dealing with the fact that a major Disney fan website, Just Disney, is saying that their Walt Disney Company is rumoured to be launching its own airline in 2021. It will be based out of Burbank, California

and just to America. And I'm guessing Orlando as well. It'll just take people to their parks, basically, right? Correct. Yes, that's the situation, yeah. It'll be mostly flying to areas with Disney parks. Right. I don't know if this means further down the track, if they can extend to Euro Disney.

Oh, yeah, maybe. But who knows? So today's top six are the top six things to expect from Disney Air. Number six, Ursula from The Little Mermaid pointing out all the exits in one go. Oh yeah.

She's an octopus. She's got tentacles down the bottom. She's going to be like, done. Buckle up your seatbelt. Take your voice. Thank you. Number five on the list of the top six things to expect from Disney Air. Elsa will break it to you when there's absolutely no chance of a free business class upgrade.

She'll go, sorry, there's none, so let it go. Let it go. And just board over here when you're ready that's actually how they could deal with all complaints yeah

let it go let it go number four on the list of the top six things to expect from Disney Air Donald Duck

will just be randomly on the plane right so that if kids start to cry he can make more of a noise to make the kids

seem less of the criminal. Right. Like he'll ask for something, it won't be available, and he'll go. Like that. See, that would be cute. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Better than a crying baby. Yeah, way better than a crying baby.

Like he can't get his screen to work and he's like. Loses his mind. Classic. Number three on the list of the top six things to expect from Disney Air. Goofy telling you your first meal choice is all out. Gorsh. I'm really going. Chicken or fish?

Chicken. Gorsh. We're all out. Triedried You tried You gotta try these things Yeah Number two on the list Of the top six things

To expect from Disney Air Buzz Lightyear Saying to Infinity and Beyond On take off Oh yeah Every time He's captain Every time

He's gotta be captain Yeah He's absolutely gotta be captain And number one On the top six things To expect from Disney Air Is when you go to the bathroom And you come out And you say and number one and the top six things to expect from Disney Air is when you go to the bathroom

and you come out and you say it's really messy in there, Mickey Mouse to be like, Jesus I wish I didn't sign up to go on Disney Air now, I've got to clean up poo and spew and I've got to wear this stupid bloody Mickey Mouse head while I do it and my ears hardly fit into the small toilet door

Can you hear me through this mask? Yeah, I can, totally, clearly. I'm going to lose my job anyway, so I'm not going in there to clean the poo that's everywhere. That is today's Top Sip. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan's 20 Questions. Well, it's a brand new game, 20 questions inside a sealed envelope.

Yeah. Vaughan, you have put a picture of an item. Yes, I have. That item is what you are endeavouring to name after 20 questions or less. But if we run out of our 20 questions and you, the public, have not worked together to ask good enough questions to whittle it down to what is inside this envelope, we double down for next round of 20 questions and it's $4,000 prize money, not two.

All right, so if you'd like to win $2,000 cash, oh, it's easy. Just guess what Vaughan is thinking. Just say what's in there. Guess this item. Now, each person technically gets two questions. One must be a yes-no question. You must ask a yes-no

question. After you've asked that, you get a guess. Okay. You get a guess. But we've only got 20 questions for the entire thing. All the questions as they happen are going to be popped up on our Instagram. FVMZM. Yep. And probably at ZM Online as well. Online as questions, as they happen, are going to be popped up on our Instagram. FVM ZM. Yep.

And probably at ZM Online as well. Online as well, aren't you? ZM Online. Oh, we're doing that as well. That's great. Aren't you? We'll love that. It's pretty extraordinary, isn't it?

Yeah, it is. Everybody. 20 questions left. So the first person and the 20th question goes to you, Ali. Good morning. Morning. Good morning. Now, the first one must be a simple yes, no question. Then you, Ali. Good morning. Morning. Good morning.

Now, the first one must be a simple yes, no question. Then you're allowed to have a guess at what you think is the item inside the envelope. Oh, I'm loving my chances. You need to know. It could literally be anything on the planet, couldn't it? Okay, well, have a question. Is it something that's generally found in an office working environment?

No. So, Ellie, now you've got to have a guess as to what you think this item is. For $2,000. Is it a lamb? A lamb. Like bar. No. It is not a lamb.

It is not a lamb. So that's two things. You've worked out for a lot of people that this item is not in an office. Generally. And it's not a lamb. 19 questions left. Good morning, Jordan. Morning. All it's not a lamb. 19 questions left. Good morning, Jordan.

Morning. Alright, so we've worked out this is generally not in the office. In an office, no. And it's not a lamb. Not a lamb. Damn, that was my next guess. You get a yes-no question, Jordan. What is your yes-no question? Is it something that can

be consumed? No. No? Good question. Good question. Now you get a guess, Jordan. What do you think this

item is? Is it a check? A check? Yeah. Like a bank check? Yeah. I don't know, like a check, a cash check. Out of all the things a cheque, a cash cheque.

Out of all the things you could guess, a cheque. Yep. No. It is not a cheque. No, it's not. So at 8 o'clock, we're going to do two more questions. What we know so far is it's not found in an office working environment, it cannot be consumed,

and it is neither a lamb or a chick. Non-transferable. Joining us in studio in just a few minutes, Jamie, who's from one of the world's biggest podcasts, My Dad Wrote a Porno, the world tour, is coming to New Zealand early next year. We'll give you those tour details and he's in studio with us in minutes. Now, yesterday we were all at this time abuzz with the fact

that the Silver Ferns had just won the Netball World Cup. By one point, it was an absolutely amazing game, and everybody was just reveling in the fact that we had a world championship, given that we did not win the cricket the week before. I know. I was thinking, like, last night, how amazing would it have been if the Black Cats had won, the Netties won. We've got Rugby World Cup later in the year.

Yeah. Imagine if we'd had all three at once. The Black Ferns won the Super Series. Yeah. Which isn't the World Cup, but a massive competition. Yeah. For female rugby. But interestingly, after the Shine wore off, we were all like, well, what do they get for winning?

Because the Black Caps got $3 million for coming second in the Cricket World Cup. $6 million if they'd gone first. Yeah, $6 million if they'd won. Well, it turns out there's no prize money at the Netball World Cup. That's mind-blowing, eh? Yeah. Yeah. So they don't get any bonuses.

They don't get any extra pay for winning. No. Considering it was televised and there were sponsors, you'd think they'd be able to stump up with some money. Some money. I'm not expecting it to be massive, but the fact that there's no prize money for first place is pretty crazy. Now, I don't know the bonuses situation.

Right. That might be something. I don't know anything about sports contracts, but that might have been something sort of something I don't know anything about sports contracts but that might have been something sort of one on one sports contracts when they signed to be a part of the Silver Fern

they might have come up with a deal that should we win the World Cup there's a little bit of cha-chingo in it right okay but I'm not sure either way

of how that falls yeah right but yeah knowing that overall the massive prize didn't come with any cash just literally the cup well all the money normally comes from sponsorship and TV deals and if it's not big on TV Overall, the massive prize didn't come with any cash, just literally the cup.

Well, all the money normally comes from sponsorship and TV deals. And if it's not big on TV, then your sport's kind of screwed, isn't it? Because even though there's teams from all around the world, netball doesn't have the television audience, the size of cricket. Yeah. Because you think at the minute cricket is massive in India. Massive. So there's a billion people. Yeah.

You know, there's massive markets. So it comes from selling the television rights around the world for the Cricket World Cup. But you would have thought just with the amount of countries involved and given that the countries did televise it, that you would have thought there would have been some prize money. Could we do a GoFundMe? Is that a bit...

Well, it's not that surprising, though, given the pay disparity, because like a top silver fern last year, they get around $130,000 for the year, whereas All Blacks make millions. Yeah. So there's a massive pay disparity there. But how do we make a sport more popular on TV? You win a World Cup. You TV? You win a World Cup.

You've got to win a World Cup. You've got to put it on TV. But you just think next time, surely the organisers of the World Cup would be like, well, we're living in an age where prize money is kind of expected for a massive World Cup. There's got to be something. Because it falls on the organisers.

Professional sports players, they've got to be able to do it professionally and not have part-time jobs. They need to have some prize money available. Yeah. For sure. And it falls on the organisers more than anybody. Me? Yeah. I'll send a couple of emails this afternoon.

Got any leads on how I should email? No idea. Who sponsors them? Is Puma? No, they all had Mind Your Own Business written on them. And MYOB, yeah. Yeah, yeah. They'll probably get a free subscription. It was quite cool when it was under their names at one stage.

You'd be like, excuse me, what's your name? It's like, tutai, Mind Your Own Business. Just really letting you know where they stood. Fleshforn and Megan, the podcast, ZM. The My Dad Wrote a Pornno World Tour 2020 is coming to New Zealand uh in Auckland in January and also going to Wellington and Christchurch from My Dad Wrote a Porno and it's literally his dad that wrote a porno uh Jamie good morning. Hey how's it going? Very well. Thanks for having me thanks for allowing porn in the building. That's all right you've kind of weirdly made porn

like okay. listen to. Semi-acceptable. Yeah, I'll take that. If that's my legacy, so be it. Because I listened to your podcast while working out or doing exercise or something. And it's a weird thing. I thought if someone just out of context heard some of the pieces in a public space, very inappropriate. Well, I mean, it's also inappropriate in your ears.

Let's not kid ourselves. It's bad anywhere but yeah in public it really should be some sort of sanction against listening to it yeah so it's your dad it's thank you yes i'm aware of that thank you for reminding me again so for people that don't know season five five i know that's a joke as well how is it going on so long but four seasons so far have followed followed each season kind of a book that your dad has written about a central character, Belinda. Exactly. The worst character in literature. Her erotic workings in the pots and pans industry. Yes.

And it's about to become so much more. Well, indeed. Yeah. It's now not just a porn book. Well, it was never a porn book, let's be honest. But it's now also like a spy thriller and someone's trying to steal the pots and pans blueprints. I mean, it's literally insane.

It's insanity. Why we're still reading it, I don't know. Because not only is it awful porn, it's now awful writing. It doesn't even make sense. But, you know, please listen to season five of My Dad Wrote a Porno, launching on

September the 9th every time every time at the start of the season and at the end you all try to sabotage having to do it

but it just incites people and they just want more and more now that things are actually kind of sort of maybe

ish happening we have to keep reading yeah does your dad listen to your podcast

oh yeah with notes critiques he like critiques back it's like a weird back and forth it's just never ending yeah is he upset at all by the the ridicule no oh my no no well he kind of very confident man uh convinced that he is the next shakespeare that it will be taught in schools, maybe night schools, you know, for adults and stuff. But no, and he, he really is convinced that,

that they're, that they're really good books and that we're the ones that don't know what we're talking about. Right. And five books in, I'm like, maybe he's on to something. Maybe he is the one that's the genius.

And we're just like these idiots that keep reading. I don't know. You set the bar too high for the general public. You thought they were listening because they liked the humor and the ridicule but they're listening because they need some of that yeah and they're actually like enjoying the story god help them all i mean and they love the characters that when we do our live shows people come dressed up as all the characters it's really i mean it's wonderful to see it you know in front of you you know the physical embodiment of your dad's pornographic fantasy who wouldn't want to be confronted with 2 000 people looking like that but um

no and they they're just really into the the whole world that he's created so yeah and how's mom because i know we haven't heard too much about your mom like in the early podcasts we heard that she kind of didn't really acknowledge the film yeah no no no that hasn't changed um she's very supportive of what's happening um she just doesn't want to engage with it in any way shape or form she's never listened to the show um she's listened to one episode actually um the first one and then she listened to the one with um emma thompson on it because she was like oh well if dame m is listening then maybe i should and then she stopped so yeah yeah she lost Stephen Thompson that day. Yeah, exactly.

They are no longer best friends. So how many books are there? Oh, God, I don't know, mate. Because he says it works in progress. Your dad's always writing, right? And you guys are a little bit behind. Oh, I think we're a lot behind by this point. I think he's written like 10, 11. I actually don't know is the truthful answer.

I don't know. Is he paying you? Because this is marketing. This is a publicity fit for his books well it should be yeah um not many people buy the books unfortunately free podcast 180 million downloads he sold 14 books so you know it's not a great kind of crossover um but you know 14 is better than none. Yeah. In four years, not bad going, Dad. Well done. Yeah.

No. Yeah, he is as much involved in it as all of us, which is actually quite nice, yeah. Could you imagine if I was just using my dad? That would be so dark. Dad, just go in the garden shed, keep writing. I'm not going to tell you what we're doing. And, you know, no, of course not.

Because he's retired now, so he can do a whole lot more writing. Well, yeah. And I blame retirement for this whole misadventure. I think don't just abolish retirement. Keep people working forever and they won't write bad porn in the garden shed. Because my dad, he's getting close to the retirement age,

but he's one of those people that can't sit still. So I'm worried if he does retire, he'll drive my mum nuts and she'll banish him to the shed. And God, I... Dude, you are going to carry the baton on of the dad porn. That's going to be your legacy.

That would be very... Mine would have been nearly as adventurous as your dad's. You think that now. You don't know what he's thinking. He's like Ian into. Yeah, exactly. Exactly.

I get the feeling that your dad kind of just started making stuff up. Like some of his... Well, one would hope, exactly. I get the feeling that your dad kind of just started making stuff up. Well, one would hope, yeah. Some of his descriptive words to do with sex are very interesting. Yeah, you'd hope that he's made it up. Yeah, well, I wouldn't be alive if he wasn't making it up. I think he'd probably be in prison if he wasn't making it up. If he'd put any of it into practice.

So is this a nice little side of this amazing podcast, you guys? You get to go around the world. Yeah, it's amazing. I'm glad chatting to you guys. It's so fun. Like, yeah. Who knew porn could bring me to New Zealand? I didn't.

Great. You're probably doing better at porn than actual porn stars. Yeah, maybe. Not as exploitative. very clean um yeah exactly yeah i have kind of the best of both worlds i am literally a porn star guys don't want to don't want to brag uh a star in porn porn pornography of podcasting type yes now there has famously in porn there's parodies of actual characters has have you ever come across anybody using my dad wrote a porno as um a storyline for actual porn no well no but we did get approached by porn hub to make billender blinked into an actual porno and i was like i

don't think you've heard the podcast because you don't want to see that that's not going to do your downloads any favors i mean that's no can you imagine i don't have a wacky amount of sound effects oh disgusting like 70s porn gone very very wrong someone did kind of make a list of um all of he he like cast the Belinda Blinks with real porn stars and made a big kind of spreadsheet about that, which was interesting. And then like gave little reasons as to why he cast people. She enjoys the outdoors. So she'd be great for the Duchess riding horses. What are you talking about?

She says outdoor sex on camera. No, weird. Oh my God. It's taken on a, you've created a universe. Like when George Lucas did Star Wars on a you've created a universe like when george lucas did star wars you guys you know what you were not the first person to compare the world of belinda blink to star wars yeah and is there any is there away from the porn is there any actual parallels between this pots and pans industry and the pots and pans industry well this is what we don't know

because i think pots and pans is rife of sexual perversion and obviously a lot of spies. Espionage. MI5 is looking into the pots and pans industry as we speak. Le Creuset, watch out. Bond 26. Yeah. Bond 26. MI5 is looking into the pots and pans industry.

Honestly, yeah. Can you imagine? Belinda is the new 007. Oh, my God. That would be too much. It's going crazy. We're going down a rabbit hole here. And we're surprised within two books time

you've predicted what your dad's writing for Belinda a little bit further down the track. He'll be listening to this going, that's a fantastic idea. I'm going to do it. Get stuck in. Jamie, thank you so much for coming in. Oh, thanks for having me.

It's been really fun. We're really looking forward to the live shows at the start of next year in Auckland, Wellington and Christchurch. All the details at livenation.co.nz. Great. You need to come along, guys. Fleshforn and Meganation.co.nz. Great. You need to come along guys. So I have

been caught out on Tinder. You will find this confusing because yes I am married and I've actually never been on Tinder. Well because you were married to your first husband and you met like quite young and that was

even before Tinder was around. Yeah. And then you found your new husband not on Tinder. You've never used Tinder in your life. No. No need. No need. No. Hot demand. No need. There's a line out the door. She's like Sephora

opening. There's a line down the street, bloody confetti mess in the water. Got my mess down the drain. The mayor's not happy. The parallels between Megan being single and Sephora opening. There's a lot of them. Yeah, you're not wrong.

Untold. So you can imagine my confusion when I get sent a message and it is a screen cap from Tinder. It's my face on a profile. It says that my name is Brittany. Shut up, Dick. Brittany or Brittany? Brittany.

Yeah, the better version of that. What's the difference? Brittany's slightly classier. You're being offensive to Brittany. Brittany. Brittany. Brittany. What's the difference? Brittany is slightly classier. You're being offensive to Brittany. Brittany. Brittany. Brittany. It's Brittany.

Brittany. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You are a Brittany. You're not a Brittany. You're a Brittany. What does it say in the bio? It's classic. I work at the Institute of Chartered Accountants in Australia.

Wow. So. I'm smart. Wow. That's saying you're smart with numbers. I'm smart. You know your numbers. Also. Can we go further from the truth? Excuse me. I'm smart. Wow. That's saying you're smart with numbers. I'm smart. You know your numbers. Also.

Can you go further from the truth? Excuse me. I'm 26. I am 26 and I'm smart. That sounds better than my real life. What photo of yours did they use? It is the picture on my Facebook profile, my public one. Are you kidding?

Yeah. So it's legit my picture. And did they send the other, were there other photos in the profile or did they just send that? I haven't been sent the other pictures. Because I don't know how this works, but doesn't it have to be linked to a Facebook account? No, you can just log in with You can just log in with an email.

Okay, so it doesn't need to be linked to another Social media So yeah this is in Australia The person who sent it to me did report it So it has been reported In Australia It's been reported as spam But I don't know what

What does that mean Because I knew someone that Someone was using Photos of her You know them as well Megan And they going to do with it now? Because I knew someone that someone was using photos of her. You know them as well, Megan. Yeah. And they couldn't do anything about it. They messaged.

Like, you can report it, but then once you've reported it, it's going to take a few people to report it. Yeah. Well, somebody I know had this done recently as well, and they'd actually used a photo of her and her husband, but cropped the husband out. Oh, my God. Yeah. Wow. Because I said to my husband, I waspped the husband out. Oh my God. Yeah.

Wow. Because I said to my husband, I was like, by the way, I'm not on Tinder. I know, because what if your husband or partner didn't believe you?

Someone was stealing your, imagine the arguments that would cause. Yeah. If someone was doing this locally. Because it's my face, but it's not my name. No.

What's the end game? Is it the start of a catfish? I don't know. Obviously, they're not going to get to meet you should anything advance to the next step. I don't know what the point is. What are they hoping? That there's a date out of it.

But then you can't because they'll turn up and you won't be there. And do they just have banter? That's kind of sad. Yeah. Or they find out an event you're going to and say, come to this event. And then they get there and they come up to you, they're like, Brittany. And you're like, what? My name's Megan.

I was hoping for some help with my text. I did. I said Brittany. Brittany. Yeah, that's actually kind of creepy. Brittany. Yeah. That's crazy.

What a small world that someone saw that in Australia. But if we all know someone that's happening to you, we all know someone that's, it's happening to you, we all know someone that's happened to her, it must happen all the time. Yeah. Well, do you think, I think it'd be nice to take some calls because I think you need to find out what you can do about this. Yeah, I would love to know if anyone's had it happen to them and they dealt with it, they shut it down.

Right. Okay, so what, have you ever had your photos used on like an online dating profile? What if they're saying like real, like ruthless. Raunchy things. Oh, wait. Ruthless things. What do you mean? Like real bad things.

Oh, like to dudes. Yeah. Saying awful things. Tarnishing your image. Yeah. As Brittany, the chartered accountant. How dare they? You just don't look like an accountant.

I don't know what accountants look like. They can look like anything, apparently. Yeah. Accountants. But, you know, just people. They see you at 26, like, that's good. I know, that's great. Are you, like, weirdly taking a compliment out of this?

Yeah, because most people are like, I can't believe it. I've got a launch complaint. But you're kind of like, cute photo of me, cute name, good job. Cute, they think I'm 26. I'm 26. But I was like,

Brittany, I don't know. I was a little bit I'd kind of be stoked if someone was using my ugly mug to try to hook up. Like, do they like a challenge

or what's the story? All right, well, give us a call. I'll go to hintrediles.com 9696. Have you ever had your photos used online, on Tinder or a dating app?

And what did you do about it? And did it even get you in trouble? Did your partner think that you were actually doing the dirty and you were on Tinder? This would also be a great excuse if you were caught out on Tinder by your partner or their friends. Yeah, use a separate name, use a different name. That's not you. It's not me. Some their friends. Yeah. Use a separate name. Use a different name. That's not you. It's not me. Some dream job.

0800-DARLESS-AT-M-9696. Flesh, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. ZM. So Megan has discovered that she is being used, her photos, her likeness and image, on a Tinder profile in Australia. I'm Brittany.

I'm an accountant and I'm 26, which is a compliment. Yeah, Megan's strangely taking most of this as a compliment. And we want to know if this has ever happened to you and someone's used your image on an online dating profile. Yeah, firstly, we've heard from a couple of Brittanies who have thanked us for our time differentiating between Brittany and Brittany. Brittany.

Yeah. The classier Brittany. Yeah, from a real life Brittany. Haven't heard from too many Brittanies. Brittan Brittany. Brittany. Yeah. The classier Brittany. From a real life Brittany. Haven't heard from too many Brittneys. Brittany. Brittany. Lots of you Brittneys. Somebody said,

my photos were used on Tinder and Badoo. Badoo? Who Badoo? No. Eric Badoo? Eric Badoo, yeah. I found out my uncle saw them. Oh my God.

And showed my mum. And we screen capped them, but then didn't want to swipe right on me because I'm his niece. Yeah, that would be weird. It wasn't me. It was somebody using my photos. Right. Okay. Yeah.

So, my face was photoshopped onto a nude that was a profile on a porn website. Oh, my God. Yeah. It got around when I was at uni. I reported it and took it down. A week later, it happened to another girl at my uni. Oh, my God. What the hell?

Face photoshopped onto a naked body. And that's the thing with, like, deep fakes. Yeah. Like, this is going to be a real problem in, like, future years. With all those FaceApp aging things we've done of the scan of our faces. We're all going to be in dodgy videos. All right, well, you can keep your texts and calls coming in. We'll get to more of those next.

9696 0800 dials at M. Flesh, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast, ZM. $2,000, the current jackpot with our new game, 20 questions. We have thought of an item, and you need to guess this item using 20 questions. Now, we've had two. You can go to our Instagram, FVMZM. There's a story highlight, the current questions, the guesses that have been made.

If you can guess that item, you win the cash, $2,000, the current jackpot. Your chance to play at five past eight. We're talking about when your face has been used for a Tinder profile or an online dating profile. This is happening to Megan at the moment. The week of her 44th birthday, too, quite complimentary. She's been mistaken as a 26-year-old. It's happening the week of my 27th.

Cute. Which is great. It's so great. Some text messages in. My sister's boyfriend gets used as a catfish on Grindr all the time. Oh, okay. And the boys find him on Instagram and ask him if it's really him. They find him on the gram.

That is tricky. Thirsty gays, though, they'll find a way. Like life. You know in Jurassic Park when they're like, life finds a way. Gays find a way. Gays find a way. Don't stereotype. All of my gay friends.

Call all gays thirsty. Whatever, yeah. My experience. With gays. On Grindr. I know. But no, you remember when I had

that Grindr account? There's apparently someone who was, there was someone who was crucial to the restoration of the Treaty of Waitangi House who looks like me.

And it was like when you put on the face app and age yourself like 50 years. Right. He's this guy. And I wanted to see if in his new neighbourhood there were any gay neighbours. So that was my profile pic. The guy that restored the Treaty of Waitangi House. And I just put him up because he looked a bit like me, a bit old.

And I tell you what, it was like dropping a burly bomb. You were catfishing on Grindr. You were actually doing what someone did to me. No, no, no. A gay friend of mine said, I'm not coming to visit you.

This is when we lived in Te Atatu. I'm not coming to visit you unless I know that there's some gays in the hood. And so I was like, there's definitely gays in the hood. And I was like, it's a very gay friendly neighbourhood. And he didn't hood. And so I was like, there's definitely gays in the hood. And I was like, it's a very gay-friendly neighbourhood. And he didn't believe me,

so I went on, I put down the burly bomb and got many a bite. So I was like, look, this is all within a couple of k's. Come on, come on out. And he did. Must have been desperate in the penance.

That's what I'm just saying. First thing. A lot of text messages And this is happening to a lot of people And it turns out that there's really not much you can do about it Either, which is a sad thing Yeah People complain and it's just kind of, nothing really happens

But also there's the other side of the coin Where my ex's face Was being used on a Tinder profile And I said report it to Tinder He did We wrote a couple of emails and then he was just like Oh well if it's going I said, report it to Tinder. He did. We wrote a couple of emails and then he was just like, oh, well,

if it's going to happen, let it happen. It was totally him. He didn't even report it nor email it once when I took it into my own hands. They sent me some details

as I had sent him photos of his driver's license to prove it and they said, well, this is the account that it's linked to and it was him all along.

Oh, no. I'd say that happens often. Yeah. Babe, it's not even me. It's not me. It's somebody else. Anonymous, what happened? So my partner actually had his iPhone hacked.

Okay. Just a couple of months ago. But a couple of months later, one of my friends was going through Tinder and found his profile with all his pictures that are not even on Facebook or any social media, but all from his iPhone. Wow.

And do you believe that? We're all looking at each other. We weren't sure who was going to say it, but Fletcher said it. Good. Yeah. No, no, I definitely believe him because one of the photos that was posted is actually what he's wearing to our wedding. And I think he wanted that to be quite on the down low about what he was wearing.

Oh, wow. That was a nice photo. Yeah. So, okay. Wow. And what do you do? Did you just report it? Yep. So, okay, and wow. And what do you do? Did you just report it? Yep, so he sent an email to Tinder, which he still hasn't had a response yet.

But at the same time, he also sent an email about our success story because we are getting married next year. Oh, right. Okay, so there's good and bad. There's good and bad. Anonymous, thank you so much. Hannah, what happened? I did like a lingerie, I suppose you could call it, photo shoot.

And somebody had taken those photos off my profile online and put them on an NZ Girls escorting site. Oh, my God. And so how did you find out about this? The worst part, I don't know who was on there or why, but a guy I was seeing at the time sent me a random text message one night and just said, hey, I know it's a bit random because we're not actually together, but is there any chance that you're a prostitute?

And I was mortified. I was like, no, why? And then he let me know that there was my photos on the NSED girls' website, which I kind of only realised recently why I didn't wonder why he was on there. I'm married now, but still. Right. That's odd because what was the end game there? Was it just the site trying,

or was it some random that just put your photos up on it? I never found out. I never actually found out who it was. I did contact them and say, hey, these photos aren't me, but obviously I was, as you said before, I was the only one that had reported it, so they never came down. I don't even know if they're still on there. Oh my God. Wow.

I know. Probably something in the Consumer Guarantees Act about booking an instrument. That's not what you asked for. You hope so. Well, same for a refund. You'd take that a fair go. I know. Oh, that wholesome 7 o'clock fair go would love to delve into that. It'll make an interesting one, to be fair. Hannah, thanks so much for your call.

Oh, good. Some more text messages. Somebody said, the most depressing thing about when I found out I was being used as a catfish on Tinder was my fake life seemed a whole lot more interesting than my real life. That's what Megan said. Yeah, and I'm younger and I'm smarter. And I'm in Australia. Fake you probably doesn't have carpal tunnel.

Yeah. Fake you's probably very limber. Yeah. Okay. Original hips. OG hips. Not falling to bits. Yeah, okay.

Probably gets a warrant and Fitness first time. And Brittany sounds cooler than Mugen. We asked our poll, have you ever had your pics used by a catfish? Has this happened to you? Only 8% of New Zealanders. That's still a lot. That's still a lot.

That's a crazy amount of people that have had their photos used without their permission online. That's nuts. Yeah. And also the fact that you're just like, what can you do about it? Not a lot. Yeah, not really a lot.

Fletch, Fawn and Megan. The podcast. ZM. Fletch, Fawn and Megan's 20 questions. That's a brand new game and your chance to win cash and currently the jackpot, $2,000. We are thinking of an item. It's that item, a picture of it, has been sealed into an envelope. So we're not going to change it on you.

No. You've just got to guess what that item is. We give you 20 questions. Otherwise, if nobody guesses it, we jackpot the money. 20 yes-no questions. And after you've asked your yes-no question, regardless if the answer was yes or no, you then get to have a guess as to what the thing is.

Now, we've had two already. Yes, is it generally found in a working environment, in an office working environment? The answer was no. Can it be consumed? The answer was no. And the two guesses, is it a lamb or is it a chick? Those are both no and no.

To be fair, it's hard when you've got, you know, you're the first one out the gates. You've got no clue. It was a brave, bold move. Yeah. 18 questions left. And we are giving you question 18, Brad. Good morning. Yeah, good morning.

All right. So you've had a couple of yes-no questions, a couple of guesses. Yes. What is your yes-no question? Can you give it as a gift to anyone? Yes. Brad, technically you can give anything as a gift

It just means I have to give it to you and say this is a gift Can I say that you wouldn't Like it's Megan's birthday this week I wouldn't give this to Megan I've been given one of these as a gift I'd be pissed if you gave it to me as a gift Oh no, too many clues, too many clues This is what he's done, this is what he's done He wants us to discuss it I don't want to see people wrong I'd be pissed if you gave it to me as a gift. Oh, no, too many clues. Too many clues.

This is what he's done. This is what he's done. He wants us to discuss it. Right. I don't want to see people wrong. It can be given as a gift. Yes. What is your guess for what the thing is? Is it a card?

No. I like you, Brett. It's the card. It's not bad, right? I like you. Thanks, Brad. You're fun. 17 questions left.

Zoe, good morning, Zoe. Good morning. All right, so it's not a card. And it can be given as a gift. All right. What is your yes no question? Is it a common household item?

Yes. Great question. Great question. Alright, Zoe, you get a guess. For $2,000 what is it? Is it a can opener? For $2,000, what is it? Is it a can opener?

No. All right, I think you've closed the field, though. You've really done well there. You've really done well. 16 questions left, and we're going to come back and play tomorrow at 7 o'clock with two more guesses, 8 o'clock as well. You can keep track of all the guesses. We've made a story highlight on our Instagram, FVMZM. Otherwise, ZM Online for all the guesses.

You can keep up with the play for your chance to win cash. You're all smug. No, no, I'm not smug. I'm having fun. That was a really – I think Zoe's, like, the best question of the day. Okay. This is the thing. Like, when's like the best question of the day. Okay. This is the thing, like when people ask a silly question

and it doesn't, that uses a question. We've only got 16 questions remaining now. This is going to be given as a gift, Brad. And then, yes, it could be, but you know, it'd be a piss,

is it a card? Hey, Brad was just trying. It's hard. It's early days. I wouldn't be pissed if you just gave me a card. A, Brad was just trying. It's hard. It's early days. I wouldn't be pissed if you just gave me a card. A card goes with a present. What if it has real heartfelt words in it?

Jeez, Kim, I need to rethink Megan's birthday present. It's just going to be a card. All right, next on the show, Intern Anya has a couch, but nowhere to live. Flesh, fauna, Megan. The podcast. ZM. We go now to the news desk and turn on you

with a slight life predicament. Yeah. This is brilliant. Oh. Why can't life just be easy? You know? Yeah. That would be great.

So for those who don't know, you and the boyfriend are moving out of the parents and you're looking for a studio apartment. Yes. Yeah, God, the way you were out of the parents and you're looking for a studio apartment. Yes. Yeah, God, the way you were sounding, it was like you were a refugee and you were having to leave your war-torn country

for an uncertain future on a ship that could sink. But no, you just decided to move out. Yeah, no, it is a real first world problem we've got on our hands. Yeah, so we have been looking for maybe a month, going to lots of different viewings, checking them out. Finally found one that we really liked last week. You've been wearing your glasses to look smarter.

Yes. That worked a charm. The landlord liked us. It was all hunky-dory. Is it honky-dory? No, it's hunky-dory. It's hunky-dory? No, I've been saying honky-dory my whole life. No, it's hunky-dory I think it's hunky. It's hunky dory? No, I've been saying honky dory my whole life.

No, it's hunky. Oh, no, it's hunky dory. It's definitely hunky dory. But then when you said that, I was like, what is it? Is it hunky or? No, it's definitely hunky. Okay, hunky dory. Yeah, it is hunky dory.

Hunky dory. If you just Google that, it's like everything's fine, everything's going hunky dory. Yeah, hunky dory. Because everything's hunky dory. You find a flat. Yeah, you're very excited on the group chat. You're like, oh my God, we've got it.

We've got a flat. Me, to the point where me and the boyfriend went out for a bougie celebratory dinner on Saturday night. I don't think you two needed any excuse to go out and have a dinner. You're always out for a dinner. We love a dinner. We're woken up alive. Let's go out for dinner.

And started looking at all sorts of cute homewares and furniture, stuff, and it was all great. And I'll add in at this point that we signed a wee tenancy agreement as well. So did you sign up for a year or six months? No, we decided to do nine months. Okay. Not too long, not too short. Goldilocks just right.

Yeah, right. Okay. And... So what did you buy for the flat? I bought a rice cooker. You bought a rice cooker? Yeah, I got one on Trade Me. It was a real bargain.

You go out for dinner all the time. What do you need a rice cooker for? Who buys a rice cooker? Like, I would 100% buy a rice cooker. I can't cook rice and I can't cook pasta. Just cook it in the microwave. You get one of those Sistema rice cookers from the microwave. Amazing. 10 minutes or 11 minutes, done.

Have you used a Breville rice cooker? Yeah, I was going to say, okay. How much rice are you eating that you could need a utensil that's dedicated to fully cooking that? It does take up a lot of space in the very small room. You're moving into a place where you need everything. A rice cooker isn't at the top of your list,

unless you're a sushi shop. I got a bargain on Trade Me and I have no regrets. And then the second item that we purchased was a new couch. Ooh, L-shaped. Ooh, name it. Ooh, okay.

Does it have a chassé? It does. Oh! A what? With changeable sides. A chaise. It's called a chassé. Oh, right.

Is that the bit that sticks out? Yeah. It's the foot of the L. Let's throw it back. Oh, yeah. It's called a chassé. Oh, right. Is that the bit that sticks out? Yeah. It's the foot of the owl. Let's throw it back. Oh, yeah. That's my favourite bit on my couch. Me too. It's always a favourite bit on the couch.

A chaise isn't enough. It needs to be a chassé. Okay. Right. Yeah, so I got real jazzed about that. We bought that yesterday. Okay. That was cool.

First ever, like, new big furniture purchase. Like, never bought a new bed before. Never bought a new couch. You bought that yesterday at what time? No. Oh, 11? Okay, because it is at 12.48pm that you received the following email. Yep.

What are you telling me not to read out? I have the email here. You want to read it. You know what parts you can and can't mention. The email reads, Dear Anna, Unfortunately, the property of blah, blah, blah could not be available for you.

No, that's not what it says. That's not what it says. You're missing the best part of the email. It says, We do apologise to say the property could not be available for dear you. I was editing on the fly. The second's dear. You can't miss dear you.

That was all of our favourite parts of the email. They even described you as dare you. Yeah, so the bank loan couldn't be applied successfully, so we've got to withdraw the property and we can't sign the rental agreement. Wait, they were trying to rent you an apartment that they didn't even own. Yeah, so that's a bit of a pickle, isn't it?

That's crazy, right? So somebody had put an apartment up for rent without even owning it before they'd gone unconditional and before the bank had approved the offer. And you'd signed for nine months and went out and bought a couch. Yeah. And a rice cooker. And a rice cooker.

$18, an absolute bargain. So if anybody's looking for an L-shaped couch... But why don't you use this in the next flat? Because the one that we really like, that we're hoping we'll get, is fully furnished. And you bought this L-shaped couch specifically for the dimensions of this place that you can't do, right?

On a clearance sale. So you can't take it back. My God. You are such a clearance sale. Because she can't take it back. My God. You're such a hot mess. I love this. Yes. But technically it's not her fault. But take some, you know,

take some solace in the fact that the email signs off, sorry for all inconvenience to dare you. They really like you. They think you're a dare weeping. Can you do them for, like, something? Do you have any rights? Like, Can you do them for, like... Something? Do you have any rights? Like, can you sue them or something

or make them pay for the couch? I don't know. But they've torn up the agreement, right? So, like, yeah. But they've signed it. It's legal. I think we put this in the box of it's a real pickle and a half. So you're saying she should just go move in

and be like, well, I signed the agreement. I signed the agreement, yeah. Or I thought maybe I could just have a whole lounge full of couches, like a showroom. And I have the new one in there and the existing one. You could double-decker it. That'd be cool. You could build a little frame and have a double-decker couch.

I could get rid of the bed and just have a couch. Like a little grandstand. There's a lot of ceiling space above a couch that never gets used. Yeah, you're not wrong. You could go for a double-decker couch. Or build a grandstand. Yes. No, because grandstands are always,

they take a lot of, they're on an angle. Two-tier couch. How much was this couch? Couch bunks. Well, $400. Are they so bad? Thank you.

Down from $1,000. Bargain Hunter Henvest. Wow. Yeah, and your $18 Bryce got caught. I know. Why don't you sell it on Trade Me for like $600? That's good hustle from you, Fletch. That's good thinking. I mean, I don't know where you'll store the couch. Not used.

Not even once. Still in plastic bag, that furniture comes in. It's time for Fact of the Day. Day, day, Tay, Tay. Today's our fact of the day. Lots has been. We're learning so much because it's 50 years since the moon landing.

Yes. We're learning so much about the moon landing that we've never learned before. You can look at all sorts of details now that no one was really interested in at the time. By the way, I learnt that some nine months after they landed on the moon, 90% of Americans couldn't even remember Neil Armstrong's name. Really? What?

Yeah, it wasn't until like a resurgence later on because it was all about the big race to get to the moon. Right. Once they got there, everyone was like, oh well, what's next? Nothing. Yeah, exactly. Turns out nothing got there, everyone was like, oh, well, what's next? Nothing. Yeah, exactly. Turns out nothing. Not a lot.

Well, Mars, we seen a rover, didn't we? But they've talked about one of the things I read, a very interesting article. This was on Popular Science. So it's not just potty talk, but it's about going potty in space. So the first ever time that they shot a rocket up into orbit Earth, it was only supposed to last 15 minutes

from takeoff, get into orbit, and then land. Right. So they were like, well, he's not going to need to go away, so we won't put anything in there that means he needs to go.

So what they hadn't counted on was the astronaut Al Shepard, who was in there, actually had to be buckled in a few hours before takeoff Oh no And it was during just before takeoff that he said What are we doing if I need to go to the toilet? And they said just hold it And he's like well I've been holding it for like three hours

And he just wet his pants Just weighed in his space suit So then they started thinking more seriously about it Then for the Gemini missions, they said that they designed a low residue diet that was to minimize any bowel movements. However, there was a containment system. But one thing they didn't take into account

was when you're in zero gravity, your poop doesn't break off. Oh, okay. Yeah, right, because of the weight. When you're pooping, it's kind of gravity that could... Like drop it. Yeah. Yeah.

Just like pop off nuggets. And it clench and just... Cut it off. Inch it off. Yeah. Fling around. So they... But there's no weight.

Fling it off. There's no weight. So you couldn'ting it off. There's no weight. So you couldn't fling it because there's no weight. No, but if you like did a swift movement, you can't move swift and swift. No, zero gravity. So there was effectively, you'd back up to a little situation. A tube, it was a one and a half inch opening on the end of things.

It was about a foot long. There was a bag inside it. It was kind of like how you line your bin, I suppose. Right. Because you could take the bag out and get rid of it. But they were on there and they realised that while they could back up to it and do it, nothing would, it wouldn't break off. So they were like, well, what are we going to do?

We're in space. It's too late to change this. Attach a vacuum. So, no, because it would suck you inside out. Right. Well, I'm not saying a hard vacuum, just a light vacuum. Just like a one out of five. Yeah.

You know when your vacuum cleaner's like... Or when the bag needs emptying. Yeah. Or something's stuck in the pipe because you sucked up something you shouldn't have. Yeah. No. They got a glove, one of the gloves on board and wrote on it that it was to become the...

Toilet glove. The pinch glove. Yeah. The pinch glove. And no one used it for any other purpose other than that and it was stored in a bag in between. Oh, that's grim. There was a special glove designated. So is this what they do even now on the International Space Station? No, no, no, no, no. Oh, that's grim. There was a special glove designated.

So is this what they do even now on the International Space Station? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. They've developed technology a little bit. They've actually put a Dyson on board to just rip it right out of you. Don't put it on high because the battery won't last long and it will literally turn you inside out. Okay, right. Good to know.

Surely as a Dyson influencer, Fletch, this came in the Dyson handbook of things to reference for social posts. they left that out. Did they leave it out? Yeah,

they didn't want any mention. Maybe when you get the Dyson 11. You can pop in a little space fact. Unbelievable, they bring out a new Dyson after the 10, the V10. But of course,

they're going to keep bringing them out. But it's annoying. It's my iPhone. There's nothing wrong with the latest one, but I want the new one. There's nothing wrong with your V10. You only just got it.

Yeah, but the V11 must suck more. In a good way, suck. Yeah. It doesn't suck. It sucks hard. Yeah. But it doesn't suck. But it's not fair.

It's the latest iPhone. They bring out a new one six months later. You're like, well, I just got this one. Yeah, you don't need it. I know you don't, but you want it. Yeah, right. You always want the next biggest thing, best thing, don't you? Yeah.

Well, meanwhile, in space, they were pinching it off with a glove. Because today's fact of the day is in space without gravity, your poo could go forever. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. So someone has gone to great lengths to get themselves a date. I don't know why they thought this was a good idea. Yeah. But he really wanted a date with a flight attendant.

So he's a 65-year-old man. Oh, no. Yeah. How old's the flight attendant? It doesn't say. It doesn't say. It doesn't say. So he's confessed to this happening. And just a bit of a back story.

He had been rejected by two flight attendants he'd met earlier. He just wants to get on that sweet staff travel where you get cheap flights because you go out with someone or you're married to someone who's in the industry. Now, speaking from your experience, how long do you have to be seeing someone from Air New Zealand to get on their staff travel fledge? I actually don't know. How long does it last thereafter?

I think you've got to, like, I don't know. They can only change it once a year. I know that. So you've probably got to stick around. Well, you've got to hit their anniversary date. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Get that and then be like, this is fun. See ya.

So this 65-year-old guy, he'd met a couple of these flight attendants and he'd become smitten with one of them. Okay. And when he tried to find them in the hotel, he couldn't find her. So he's like, oh no, she's obviously leaving the country, flight attendant, she's obviously leaving the country. She's a flight attendant. She's out on the plane.

So he decided to call and fake a bomb threat on the plane that she was on so that the plane wouldn't take off and she would have to go back to the hotel. And then he would have a chance at a date with this woman. Yeah. What is this in this guy's head? I don't know. So there was 130 passengers, five crew members. They were all forced out of the plane, obviously. They brought in sniffer dogs.

They took it seriously because you have to. And that's when he was like, oh, sorry. I just really wanted a date with that lady. He doesn't sound like he's a few sandwiches short of a picnic. Yeah. He's been charged with panic and disorder, like causing panic and disorder. Okay. I don't think he got a picnic. Yeah. He's been charged with panic and disorder, like causing panic and disorder. Right, okay. I don't think he got a date.

No, no. You're not exactly showing you're a sane, well thought out individual. No. Doing stuff like that. No, it didn't work for him. But I would like to know. You risked the life ban from flying for me? I will not. Well, I would like to know on

maybe not calling in a bomb threat, but the great lengths you went to to get a date. Or maybe someone went to get a date with you. Yeah. Compliment. Because, I mean, that's a crazy story, that one. You'd think that's crazy. But there would be things that people do where you just say, okay, well, that's quite

an effort. I'll give this person a date. I know, but it's always dancing on like... Too much? Too much creepy. You have to be really hot to get away with it. Yeah. Do you think so? Your creepy versus hot needs to be, it can't be out of whack.

In all seriousness, if somebody did something that you would think would, standard person, you'd be like, that's creepy. If a standard person did it, but if like a super hot person did it, you'd probably be like, oh, that's not. I'll give them a shot. Yeah. I'll give them, yeah, right, maybe. I know, just another example of hot people getting away with it.

Yeah. Having a rort. So 0800 dials at M, give us a call, or you can text us 9696. What lengths did you go to to get a date? Or did someone go to get a date with you? Give us a call. Fleshforn and Megan, the podcast. ZM. We're talking about the extent people have gone to to get a date.

Maybe you went to Extreme Lengths or maybe somebody went to Extreme Lengths for you. Some text messages in. I was still in high school when this girl I had never seen or met before threatened a girl mate of mine that if she didn't stop hanging out with me, she'd give her a hiding. Now, apparently

she was trying to get all the females out of my vicinity so she could make advances. It worked. I dated her for six months before finding out she was a psycho. Now, I will say the warning signs were all there from very early on.

Yes, like that aggressive nature. Yeah. A guy sent me a beautiful picture of a landscape. Oh, okay. And it's somehow hidden all these pictures of our faces together all through it. He was super hot. So at the time I was really flattered until my friend was like, what is wrong with you? This is the weirdest thing I've ever seen in my life.

He's hot. Snap out of it. He's hot, yeah. He might be hot, but this is not normal behaviour. I worked in a supermarket and one of my regular customers asked me out on a date a few times in a row. I always said no and he said, well, I won't eat

until you go on a date with me. And I responded. He's doing a hunger strike. Yeah, a hunger strike. Well, and I responded with, well, that's great because if you won't be eating, you've got no reason to come to the supermarket anymore. Oh my God. So that didn't work for't be eating, you've got no reason to come to the supermarket anymore. Oh, my God. So that didn't work for her. No, you've got to think about your food.

Natalie, how far did someone go for a date? Hey, so I met a guy at a music festival and we had some real good chats and we had bended really well, we hit it off and then we sort of lost each other again. And a few days later when I got home, I had an Instagram inbox from this random person. And it was him. And he found me on Instagram through the festival's hashtag. It's sort of like, I had a little look. Imagine going through like a festival hashtag. There would literally be thousands of photos.

Yeah, there was. So he was lucky he sort of saw me in the first few pages. He was going to give up after that. He was like, oh, I look like too much of an epic stalker. But I'm glad he did because now we're engaged and we've got a baby on the way. Yay! That's amazing! Again, but he was obviously hot though, wasn't he?

Because if he wasn't, would he have got away with that if some random had messaged you and been like... No, he was a solid 10. I cut the restraining order pretty quickly after that. Yeah, yeah, nice. It was fine. Hey, Natalie, thanks you called Natalie. Matt, how far did you go for a date?

So my wife, who's been married to me for 16 years now, I actually stalked her all the way from kindergarten to high school. Matt, when you're telling this story to your grandkids, don't say stalked, say lovingly pursued. Lovingly pursued is absolutely the politically correct term. Not

followed religiously. But yeah, so I stalked her all the way from Kindy to high school and then finally got the balls to phone her, but I didn't know her phone number. So I rang every single Hamilton in the Hamilton phone book to find out what her phone number was. And in the end, I got hold of her dad

and it was about nine o'clock at night and his answer was, she's in bloody bed, leave her alone. Wow. How many Hamiltons were there in the phone book I didn't realise there were so many but there was

there was a crapload well they gravitate to Hamilton if your last name's Hamilton you want to go yeah yeah and so what you ended up getting a date

with her and the rest is history you've been married what 16 years you said yeah yep so I got two kids and we got married I was 19

she was 20. I figured if I stalked her this long and can convince a hot gymnast to marry me, I need to lock that down. You've done well. So true. Matt, thanks for your call.

Some text messages. I was at the uni halls. I got woken up in the middle of the night after a guy had climbed a barbed wire wall and come up the fire escape. This is love. Barbed wire. Yeah. up the fire escape. This is love. Barbed wire.

Yeah. I would dress in a dinner suit with a rose to ask me out. No, that's not Fletch because he doesn't have a nice shirt. No. I don't have a suit. I can't wear it. Obviously hard work as he had taken a few courage drinks. He'd fallen twice.

He'd cut his head open. The rose was in tatters. His suit was torn. Looking back, I feel so bad as I was A, horrified and B, too scared of the warden so I was like, you've got to get out of here. You've got to get out of here. And he had to go back down the fire escape and back

over the barbed wire wall. At least let him walk out the front door. Why has a uni hall got barbed wire walls? To keep the riffraff out. That's pretty intense though. Fletch just says he's a concerned parent. Oh my. Anyway, moving on.

My child's up there! Let me up! God, you go home to one uni hall in 2000 and whenever it was. 19. Sounded like you were going to say 2019. No. Have you been back at it? No.

Fresh batch. Keep going. More texts. Somebody else said, much similar to the Hamilton story, my last name is quite a popular last name. Before cell phones, I had a guy go through a phone book

and ring every single person in my area with the same last name as me just to find me. It would have been really sweet if I hadn't already told him I wasn't interested and I had a boyfriend and he was 10 years older than me. Okay, that's creepy. Creepy.

They say no, they mean no. Yeah. No. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. If you enjoyed this podcast, why not give ZM's Bree and Clint a listen too? Subscribe on the iHeartRadio app or wherever you get your podcasts. And music lives here. ZM.