ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Megan Podcast - July 24 2018

Episode Date: July 23, 2018

Indie has wants to prank August, Swipemares and what did you walk in on your partner doing?See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is the Fletch, Vaughan and Megan podcast, thanks to Spark. You can stay connected with free Wi-Fi a gig a day on the $19 Spark prepaid rollover pack. Enjoy. Thanks, Hanya. Good morning. Welcome to the show, Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. And Megan's back. Hello. Kia ora.

Well, with 80% voice. No, it's all good. It's good at the moment. Have you tried a lemon and honey? Say this little thermos. Hey, I got... It is not. It's lemon honey.

100 with like fresh... Yeah, I can't open it. Don't open that over your laptop either. Did you get this when we got sent this? Sliced ginger. Because Fletch... I told Fletch about this and you swore by this

when you had a sore throat, eh? Did you get that? On a serious note, did you ever get some about this and you swore by this when you had a sore throat, eh? Did you get that? On a serious note, did you ever get some of this? You got some of this? No, I didn't. What are you talking about? You were guzzling this. No, the other stuff.

You were just saying you didn't because you weren't mine. No, I got the other stuff in a spray. Oh. The throat spray. I just can't go past the honey spray. Right, okay. You swear by it. Oh, absolutely swear by it. Oh, you got that stuff. I've got some herbal throat spray. Right, okay. You swear by it. Oh, absolutely swear by it.

Oh, you've got that stuff. I've got some herbal throat spray. Yeah, yeah. They lock up the Manuka honey at my supermarket now. Oh, you're in West Auckland now, baby. I was like, what is this?

It's worth a lot of money on the black market, Megan. That, the spam and the lighter fluid, you're going to light up all your crew tools. Yeah, there's all these locked cupboards

and all these signs like you can't get this up all your crew tools. Yeah, there's all these locked covers and all these signs like you can't get this off the shelf. Other than the perspex. Yeah, and you have to go to customer service. Yeah, it just tears you. It just tantalises you.

You're not in Takapuna Milford now, Megan. I know. We steal things that we want but we can't afford. Well, I don't. No.

No, neither do I. Hey, it's your birthday tomorrow. Yeah. Wow, the big four, five. Piss off. It's so much fun. The world's dumbest joke that people always buy today when you lie.

I say they're older than they are. We'll always be the youngest out of us three. Just keep that in mind when you hassle my age. Well, tomorrow we've sorted your birthday present and I am so gosh darn excited about it, is all I can say. What is it, Anya? Why are you laughing? Do you know?

You know, eh? Yeah. You're on board with this, eh? I'm so on board. You're in for a treat. It'll be a hoot. It'll be a hoot and a half. It'll be a birthday to remember.

It is, yeah. So this time tomorrow, we're going to get your birthday present in here. Is it a person? No, no, that's not your present. Do I eat it? But there will be a person in here. There are people, yeah. No, you don't eat it.

Okay. Because, you know, you guys set the bar high with my birthday cupcake, my cake. We kind of had nothing to do with it. I know, I know. 100% not us. It has nothing to do with it. I know. 100% not us. We had nothing to do with you.

What? He's gesticulating. But Fletcher's not understanding. You got me a present. Yes. My stroller. Took me a while. You forgot the thing I actually got him. That still hasn't left work. Even after that ambassador shit.

Well, yeah, Troy Savant said he thought it was pretty cool. But he didn't take it though. I saw a young couple yesterday at the supermarket with Juan. What was that? A young couple.

Still not enough. I saw like a parade of people with them at the weekend. Yeah, but then I saw also a friend on Instagram someone on Instagram I forget who it was

was like, ooh, these things. I was like, oh. All it took was one negative comment. Yeah, but then I was also a friend on Instagram, someone on Instagram I forget who it was, was like, ooh, these things. I was like, oh, I've got one of those. It was one negative comment. Yeah, I know, and I'm back to not liking it. Don't. Let them. I might need you to come with me to the supermarket for my first outing with the Nana stroller. Yeah, for support.

Yeah, for support. That would be nice. Alright, you lot, listen up. It's story time. All right, three news headlines for three stories that are found online. Interesting, quirky, unusual news stories. And Vaughan and Megan decide which story. That's how story time works. The other headlines deleted.

We'd never find out about them. Those are the rules. Headline one, fat controller fuming. Headline two, woman catches man mid-flight entertaining himself. And headline three, mishap with a French fry lands 13-year-old in trouble. Those are the headlines. Would the fat controller situation be regarding a stolen Thomas the Tank Engine. Yes.

Although non-licensed. Thomas the Tank Engine. It is one of those Lookalikes. Lookalike situations. It's like a little thing that tows trailers that's painted up

like Thomas the Tank Engine. For the kids. Yeah. But enough. Well, it's actually the one if it is the same one. Was this in the UK? Yeah. All they have is to go on as a mystery is the same one, was this in the UK? Yeah.

All they have is to go on as a mystery Scotsman. It was similar to the Scottish accent. It actually has Thomas written on it. I reckon this is close enough that they could definitely sue them. Yeah, I don't know. I don't know how you get away with stealing a Thomas the Tank Engine train. Like, where are you going to use that? Well, it would be a less than discreet getaway.

Well, yeah. I'm assuming they discreet getaway. Well, yeah. I'm assuming they drove it away. It's too long. Unless you had a flatbed, long flatbed truck. Yeah, true.

How would you drive it up onto something and drive it away? Well, police are looking. Because my wife went to, she's, I've got old school friends here, they're carny folk.

Yep. I didn't know this until one day we were at the carny, at the carnival and he came up and he said, shut up. And she was like, oh, hey.

And I was like, what's going on here? Were you instantly like free rides? Well, yeah, he gave the kids a free ride on the train. I was like, oh, he's all right by me. I'd love one of those trains. Just so I couldn't let kids ride on it. Like I'd drive up and pick up the kids from school in it. And then other kids would be like, can we jump on it?

I'd be like, no. Exclusive. My favourite part about that Thomas story is in the last line where it's like, if you've got any information, please call police using the reference NL4QSRTW. It's like,

just call the cops and say I've seen the reference Thomas. I've seen that Thomas in a tank engine, you're being stolen. Who's calling up with a reference number for a crime? We've had multiple Thomases stolen. I'm going to need the exact reference number of this Thomas case. Okay, well, we're not obviously going with that story, so it's down for two or three.

The woman catching man mid-flight entertaining himself or the mishap with a French fry and a 13-year-old. Whoa. I think... Three. Yeah, as the edutainment itself, it's kind of like he's just... Self-explanatory. Yeah.

Okay. You sound so delicate when you've lost your voice, Megan. I'm trying to be quiet. So delicate and quiet. Okay, well, a mother is furious because her 13-year-old son was involved in a, I guess you'd say a clashing of young people, some youths, at a McDonald's in Hammersmith. Apparently, a couple of the lads had a wee fight with the girls and some silliness ensued.

And the 13-year-old fired a McDonald's french fry through a straw, hitting one of the girls on the face. Oh, dear. With the chip. I've done that before. Would that be a smoothie straw, like a thicker one? It would have to be the thick one, yeah, because you wouldn't get a french fry through a normal straw, would you?

Yeah. No. It packs it in tight like a spade gun. Oh, right. In fact, you'd probably be better to do it with an ordinary straw. Maybe you roll the chip a little bit. Get a thin. Do you roll the chip? Yeah, No. It packs it in tight like a spade gun. Oh, right. In fact, you'd probably be better to do it with an ordinary straw. Maybe you roll the chip a little bit. Get a thin... Do you roll the chip?

Yeah, perhaps. Well, the fat might also help us loop. Have a slide. Well, anyway, police charged the 13-year-old with assault. Assault? With a French fry. And for legal reasons, the boy... Assaulted French fry.

Assaulted French fry. The boy can't be named for legal reasons the boy Assaulted French fry. Assaulted French fry. The boy can't be named for legal reasons but his mother is speaking out now after the last few months have been spent in the system.

The courts and prosecutors build up a case against him which the mother said wasn't his fault anyway he's aiming at his friend. So just hit some

random lady in the face. Eventually they drop the charges with a police caution, which the mother is slamming as ridiculous. You'd feel a bit stupid if you were a woman. They might have had enough, though. The Maccas might have had a guts for it. Do you remember? This may have had another resurgence

because these sorts of things happen in cycles. But in the late 90s, there was a real problem with kids stealing bread tags. Oh, yeah. Do you remember the bread tags? Yes, yeah. And also you'd put your fruit in the plastic produce bag and spin it tight and then click on one of those green bread tags. Full disclosure.

Go on. Sometimes at Pack and Save, I still do that. Do you still do this? Yes. Why were they stealing? No, you get them and you snap one of the wings off. I shouldn't be telling this because I could be there. And then you put it under your fingernail and you flick it.

Have you never done that? That sounds like a real boy thing to me. They motor. And if they hit you in the eye, they'd probably blind you. Yeah, yeah. Now, there was a real problem in Morrinsville specifically. This might have been a small town epidemic. But, yeah, they were really cracking down.

And they had a security camera on one and they'd catch them. And they even made an example out of a couple of kids that stole them. Really? They got hauled down to the cop shop. Yeah, well, that's why we're not encouraging that and saying do not do that. They should be the new straws because those are little plastic things. We don't need those, do we? We don't need the bags that they tie up either.

Oh, that's true. Well, what are we going to do? Just take our glass jars down and put a loaf of bread in it? Just kind of squish a loaf of bread into a jar? Is that what you want, Happy? No, I was just thinking paper. But, I mean, you can squish it into a jar if you want it.

I mean, I'm... Paper makes more sense. Yeah, it does actually, now you say it. I don't know why squish it into a jar if you want to. I mean, I'm... That makes more sense. Yeah, it does, actually, now you say it. I don't know why I went with glass jar first. Hmm. You can take a... You could take, like, a bread bin down. Yeah, you could, you could.

One of those old roller door bread bins that Nan always had. Yeah, put it straight in the bread bin. Yeah, put it straight in the bread bin. You get up to the checkout, they're like, what have you got in there? You roll it up, you're like, loaf of sourdough. Roll it shut, the bread bin. You get up to the checkout. They're like, what do you got in there? You roll it up. You're like, loaf of sourdough.

Roll it shut. Away you go. Sounds good. There's been a study by the scientists at the University of Alabama, and they have found a way to reverse wrinkles and hair loss. So not just like stop someone from getting wrinkles and going bald, but it can reverse it. So they've done this on mice at the moment.

They haven't done it on humans. They always do it on mice. Yeah. They're always doing it on mice. Why is it mice? Is it because they're easy to come by? Yeah. And they're super easy to breed?

People don't feel sorry for them, do they? People don't really worry too much about mice. And then they go mice, pigs, monkeys, humans, right? Right, I think so, yeah. That feels like the flow of things to test on. Which I'm not cool with. Rabbits. They do rabbits.

They put lipstick on rabbits, don't they? Well, no, they do lots of makeup on beagles. Now, why beagles? Beagles. Beagles? Beagles specifically. Are they a sensitive pooch? I don't know. I don't know.

I'm not okay with animal testing when we've got so many humans you could test on. We've got seven billion humans. Just get someone who'll be like, yeah, test on me for however much. Don't look death rowing, mates. Yeah. Oh, my God, that's actually a really good idea. Spread some perfume in their eye before they die. Might not get in the easy way out.

We're just going to try some new foundation on you to see if you break out. Oh my God. That's a really good idea. You look beautiful. He died with a beautiful blush on his cheek. That's a good idea. I'd rather that than rabbits. Yeah.

Or mice Well they've done nothing So these mice They put them through Mitochondrial dysfunction Which is like I sound real brainy But I've just read this article

So I'm going to try and explain it That's where your genes start to Like shut down and get older Which leads to lots of things Not just hair loss and wrinkles It roots us all doesn't it Age Everything just buggers out Yeah to lots of things, not just hair loss and wrinkles. It roots us all, doesn't it? It does. Everything just buggers out.

Yeah. So somehow they made the mice go through mitochondrial dysfunction. So they made them old before their time. So they aged them and then they have found a way to reverse it. So basically there's a gene that can switch off the mitochondrial dysfunction and so they just didn't age. So once they'd got old, they'd literally reversed. The only problem is it can give you back hair and it can get rid of wrinkles.

Yeah. But it won't like change your liver and it won't help your heart. Oh, so it will still die at the same time. Yeah, but you'll look good. Yeah. Yeah. So your internal organs and everything, you know, you'll be like Cher. She looks fantastic.

But internally, it's still all 71. Is it? No one's cut open Cher to see what's happening in there. No, she might have had full organ. She's had like a skeletal implant. And full organ transfers. Yeah. With a healthier person.

Just had a head transplant. Sure. To a younger, also Mediterranean descent. Although, if you've seen Mamma Mia 2, which I know you both haven't, it's a very slow dance routine. Well, she's bloody 80, Megan. We're going to see her when she's here in September. She still does a little hip jiggle.

Yeah. But not too. She's 72. 72. That's still pretty little hip jiggle. Yeah. But not too. She's 72. 72. That's still pretty good. Pretty good. How old's your dad? He's 70 now, eh?

Does he like think Cher's a bit of a right? Because my, I've always wondered if. No, he's not into Cher. He's not into Cher. No. I wonder just primarily on looks and stuff. If he can put aside the music. I don't know.

I've never asked him if he's found Cher attractive. Do you think Cher's hot? I don't know. I've never asked him if he's found a cheerio character. Do you think she is hot? I don't know. Because I wonder when you get older, do you find people... Find older people. Yeah.

Yeah. I think it's definitely... Because when you're like early 20s, someone in their late 30s, you think, they're old. But now that I'm getting

towards my late 30s, I'm like, these women are in the prime of their lives. Do you know what I mean? So I wonder if I'm 60, am I going to find 60-year-old woman hot? I don't know. Maybe.

My husband finds Meryl Streep and Diane Keaton really hot. I mean, he's definitely got a thing for old gals, but maybe there's just beauty is beauty regardless of age. Like your Helen Mirrens, your Diane Keatons,

your Meryl Streeps, they're timeless beauties. Are you worried about him? God, you're worried about him going to hot sexy yoga. You should be worried about him going past a restaurant. No. He's got some nice wide parks as well. That wasn't metaphorical. What's the most annoying thing for you about going to Kmart?

Going for one thing and leaving with 50. No, that's fun. Going for just real quick and being there for an hour. Getting more of the thing we already had. There's a list. You've got them started, Megan. Oh, yeah. I was going to say the checkout in the middle of the thing we already had. There's a list. You've got them started, Megan. Oh, yeah. I was going to say the checkout in the middle of the store.

That's weird. Yeah. Because remember it used to be pay as you exit. Well, no, that's always the vibe. You pay as you exit so you can't steal anything. No, but the idea is that you have to find the checkout through the maze of the huge store and then on your way to finding the checkout, you're like, oh, four more things I don't need.

But also there's such a huge line at the checkout. It's literally like a maze of more things. You're standing there and you're like, do I actually need some face wipes for $2? Yes, I do. Do I need this squirty bottle? Yes, I do. I do need a Coke. Yeah, and there's all the junk food as well.

I know, that's how they get you. Oh, when you're in that line, everything in that line is designed for kids at kids' height. Yeah. And it's stuff kids want. Ooh, mash them. Ooh, squish them. Ooh, smash them. Everything's got an M on the end, by the way, that kids want now.

Right. So in New Zealand and Australia, they have the checkout in the centre and people have been complaining about it because it's a punish and you end up in, I don't know why, but the lines seem longer. You end up halfway around the shop waiting to pay. Again, so that you're standing next to things you don't need. Oh, active wear, okay.

So, yeah, people have complained, but they're not going back. I think it's what stores do now. Like JB Hi-Fi does it. Yeah, they have it right at the back. Yeah, so you're on the way out, you're like, ooh. It's quite cunning, eh?

It's quite cunning. Is that why they check your receipts? Because you've got a bag and you can just be like, zoink, in your bag? Yeah, they do. I would have thought that would be worse for shoplifting.

No, but they check it. They're always checking it. Security guard on the door. And they must have. I mean, these are big businesses. They've obviously worked. Yeah, security guard on the door. And they must have, I mean, these are big businesses. They've obviously worked out paying someone to stand on the door. You make more money on people buying, grabbing a couple more things and scooting back than you do.

Yeah, right. One hundy. In Australia, they get pat-downs at Kmart. Do they? Yeah, apparently people complaining about pat-downs and reading their receipts. Oh, that would annoy me. Because you're just trying to get out of there.

You're just trying to get out of there. You've just gone in for two copper baskets and they're patting you down. Don't bother. It's rude. You're not worried smuggling a copper basket out as well. Exactly. If you've got a tummy but it's like hexagonally shaped,

if it's a geometrically shaped tummy, then you're probably smuggling something out. But they don't pat down, but they're going back to JV Hi-Fi because it's the checkout so far from the door. They're always like, I don't know what you're going to do. Hello, would you come over to pick me up? They've always known coming in gravy hands.

Yeah. They're always very polite about it. Oh, what you got in the bag, baby? Champ. They're trying to be all... It's like clothes stores as well. They have the checkouts at the back. Yeah. As well. polite about it. Oh, what you got in the bag? There, there, chap. They try to be all... It's like clothes stores as well. They have the checkouts at the back.

Yeah. Yeah. As well. They do it. Right. So that's the theory behind that. It's just so you'll buy more stuff after you've already bought some stuff. It's the same...

Same theory as if you've ever been to an Ikea overseas. You've got to go through the whole maze to even get out the store. Right. I mean, there are some little shortcuts, but they're not easy. It's not easy to navigate. It's not like game cheats. Like you're going to walk up to a wall and be like,

up, down, B, A, B, A, B, A. And then a door goes, kikikiki. It's not quite like that. It's just an exit, Vaughn. Oh, I can't look like a hidden. You just do walk through and it's fine.

No, like on that Mario Kart level where you jump over and you're already at the finish line. No, although it does seem like that walking around the store. The Top Six with Vaughn Smith. Hello there. Today's Top Six No, although it does seem like that walking around the store. Hello there.

Today's top six dealing with the sad news that Max Key has recently separated with partner. Because this was the Herald did a thing, didn't they? Was it Amelia? Amelia? Was it Amelia? I believe so. Yeah, I think so. Oh, Amelia.

Renee Brown. What? Renee Brown. Who's Renee Brown? That's good for you. I thought you said Amelia. I think that was his first one. Oh. Oh, was that his other one?

Oh, God, I can't. I can't either. What a quick. Shivers. He's getting through them quicker than the national party's getting through potential leaders. Political satire? And I know that they haven't been through that many leaders.

Oh, well, actually, they have been, but let's face it, it's probably time for a new one. Top six places Max Key could meet his next girlfriend because he's single and ready to mingle. He did the questions thing on Instagram yesterday. Well, that's where the Herald got their story from. Got their scoop from because someone said he's still dating. And he's like, nah, it's just me

and the dog now. Which brings us nicely to number six on the top six places Max K could meet his new girlfriend, the dog park. Because I don't remember

if you remember but they got a dog and I said, too soon. Too soon for a shared pet. You did say that. And it may have been that extra pressure

on the relationship of you get up and let it out. No, you get up and let it out. No, you get up and let it out. Who's cleaning up the poo? The dog's vomited again. Who's cleaning that up? It's too much for a new relationship.

I said, too soon. Too soon! Vaughan feels vindicated right now. It was too soon! But apparently he's got 100% custody. Okay. Of the dog. Which means his mum's looking after it, I assume.

So the dog park is a place they could meet because he's got this cute little dog now. The sort of dog that the ladies love. The appearance of a husky. It's not little, is it? The size of a Pomeranian. Yeah, it's very cute. It's a Pomsky.

It's cute. Okay, stop flirting. Oh my God, I just see how that works. Yeah. Oh my God. You got sucked right into the pond. We call it the Pomsky Trap. Number five on the list of the top six places Max Key could meet his new girlfriend.

Martin Parkey's pool. Have you seen the pool on the gram? Yep. It's a pretty impressive pool. And rumor has it, it's not water in the pool. It's the tears of the impoverished. Which makes it really like

and furious to swim in. It's like silky water. It's way it's like the dead sea you just yeah you float in the salty tears

of like a float tank. Yeah they're just mmm entertaining. Great for the skin. Number four on the list of the top six places

Max Key committed his new girlfriend at a Hawaiian golf course clubhouse after a casual nine holes with Obama. Remember he played? That's right, yeah. He got to play golf with Barack. Yeah, he did. Pretty jealous.

I'm no good at golf, but I'd still try to knock out nine holes with Barack. Much rather play nine holes with Barack than Trump. Oh, yeah. I wouldn't turn up. No. I'd make him wait. I'd just give Trump a piece of my mind the whole way around. I'd be late for tea off time.

Really teach him a lesson. Number three on the list of the top six places Max Keegan met his new girlfriend are the gym. I mean, with that bod, he's got to be spending some time at the gym, right? You've seen the bod? He put up a new shirtless pic last night. I thought, that is a great way to celebrate being single. If I'm ever single again, I'm going to put up a topless pic. And I will remain single forever.

I'm scared if I put up a topless pic. Someone's like, the mole under your nipple. Have you had that checked? And I'll be like, I didn't even know there was a... And then your nipple. Have you had that checked? And I'll be like, I didn't even know there was a... And then they're like, it looks like melanoma. And I'll be like,

oh my God. And then you're that guy in the news that someone diagnosed you from an Instagram picture. Stranger saves man's life from topless Instagram pic. Yeah, that's you. Those totally need lines.

Number two on the list of the top six places Max Keeg had met his next girlfriend. Did you just see Megan salivating over that topless pic? I was hardly salivating. I was doing research for the show. Research for the show.

Oh, I liked it! Oops! I meant to zoom in and I liked it! I meant to zoom in and I liked it! I mean, I don't know what's creepier, zooming in on a topless 21-year-old's picture or liking it. He did too.

It comes up liked by porn on the list. Oh, no. I tell you what, I'm not the only person to like that that we know, though. A lot of pervs. Yeah. Number two on the list of the top six places Max can meet his next girlfriend at his sister's art show. Oh, yeah.

Because I think it's about time he went for a I'm not saying the last girls haven't been cultured or whatever, but what are you laughing for? But you are. But I am. But maybe it's time he looked for a girl outside of his usual norms. Go with Steffi to an art show

and meet someone with a really aggressively straight cut fringe and some glasses. Like a plaid shirt. Go full hipster. A vegan. Yeah, a vegan. Maybe what you're saying is date a Green Party member. Dad would not like that.

He would not. But he learned to deal with it. Number one on the list. The top six places Max Keke could be his new girlfriend. Behind the DJ, Dika Dika Dika De be his new girlfriend, behind the DJ Dix. Rumour has it that sometime in the future, we may see a Max Key-Clark-Gafer DJ double set. Wow.

Which could be the great political act that brings balance to the force. A DJ coalition, if you will. Yes. Clark will man the left side of the MacBook space bar. Max will man the right half of the MacBook space bar. Yeah. Political, poetic, and beautiful. And then they kiss.

A kiss that ends a war of a thousand years. Some said it was a platonic war-ending kiss, but if you look closer, you can see the sparks of true passion. Okay. That's today's top six. What, if I had to ask you guys, what's your favourite Instagram account, what would your answer be?

Miss Louise Boutique in Melbourne. Is that shoes? It's the shoes. Boring. Shoes and bags. Why is that boring? Out of every Instagram account in the world. It's the only story that I watch religiously every day.

But it's not like funny or beautiful or nice. It's beautiful. Is it? Yeah. It's shoes. It's just boring shoes. That's so weird. No, it's not.

Shoes don't move. Well, if they're on someone's feet, they do. Moves them around. That's not weird. It is. I find it really hard to pick just one that I like, but I've got a new favourite. What's yours? Do you have a favourite?

I like Best of Grindr, which is hilarious. Despite not being a gay man. As an honorary member of the gay community. You find it funny. Without having to do the kissing stuff. It is pretty funny. Do you want a funny one then? Yeah.

Like, girls with no jobs are pretty funny. I quite like that. Oh yeah, she was a racist. Oh yeah. So we don't like her now?

We went off with her when we found out she was a racist. It doesn't have to be funny. Yeah, okay. Back to shoes then. Following one where

people submit their drone footage from around the world or like ideas on stuff. That's so boring. Okay, shoes. You like shoes. their footage of drone their drone footage from around the world or like ideas on stuff they do with trucks. That's so boring. Okay shoes. You like shoes.

Although my one of my favourite ones could be a bit boring are accidentally Wes Anderson. You know the movie maker who makes those always symmetrical like weird as hell movies.

But beautifully shot. Well there's an Instagram account where if you see something that looks like it could be in a Wes Anderson movie, accidentally Wes Anderson, you submit it. It's just a beautiful Instagram. It's so nice. Look, here's one from Best of Grindr

and it's two girls pulling on a teddy bear. One of the girls is gays, one of them is 13-year-old girls and the teddy bear is Shawn Mendes. It is so funny. That would definitely be one of my favourite accounts to follow. It's pretty hilarious. But I found another one, and this is what I wanted to tell you about today.

It is called Missed Ya Bus. Missed Ya Bus. One word. Missed YA Bus. Now, it doesn't feature a lot of buses now. It's mostly trains. This is a Sydney-based account. You can actually submit yours as well.

Now, what it is... Is this... Missed your bus. Yeah, 64,000 followers. Okay. This basically is people that run up to trains in Sydney and the doors close on them. Or the bus.

Oh, his face! Because, you know, the trains, the doors shut, it's going anyway. It's not going to let you on. And it's just people start filming and all these people run down the stairs. They're running for the train and it shuts. Oh, so it's people who are on the bus filming people who have missed the bus. This is something Fletch would do. It's just like constant heartbreak from these people watching the bus go.

But it's hilarious. And you just hear the beep, beep of the doors shutting. And all these people running. Oh, she missed it. I know. Oh, no. It's crazy. Of course you'd like this. It's horrific, eh?

But it's pretty funny. It just, you know, it just can brighten you up. Oh, no. Do you know what they all try and do? They all try and be like, oh, now I wasn't going to go on there anyway. Yeah, I know. But that's why I love it. Because, yeah, people act like, oh, no, I was going to get the next train.

Like, I wasn't even rushing for this one. I know. The poor guy. It's brilliant, and that's why I love it. I'm sure this one girl has featured at least twice on this, too, just skimming through their videos. Oh, no, shame, you're not getting on this train. If you're ever visiting Sydney,

you need to be aware of this account, because everybody is filming now when the train door is shut. And what do you do? Do you send it to them or do you tag them? Yeah, you just send them. You send it to their Gmail account.

And then they put it on. And then they put it on. There's a guy in a purple jersey and they say, Purple rain, missed your train. It's horrible,

but it's quite funny if you need to laugh. Missed your bus is that Instagram account. All right, Swipe Mears is next after the news. The news. There's fish, wood, and Alright, Swipe Mears is next after the news. Swipe Mears is a

segment of the show, if you've never heard it, where we hear from people who had less than successful dates through dating apps on their phones. Could be Tinder, could be Bumble, Happen Grinder. We've got the lot. What was the lesbian one again? Scissor. Yeah.

They had another one too. Can't remember what the other lesbian dating app was. Anyway, that's research for another time. Careful with the Googling on lesbian dating apps. Definitely. Careful with those. We on lesbian dating apps. Definitely. Careful with those. We're joined this morning, I don't know if we established

if you wanted to do this anonymously. So at this stage, anonymous, how are you? I'm good. How are you guys? Good, good.

Did you want to be anonymous? Yes, please. Okay. Good to know. Always good to tread on the side of caution there. Anonymous, tell us about your swipe,

Mia. So I met up with this guy. It was pretty nice at the beginning. He was pretty normal. They always are. They always are. So is this off Tinder or Bumble or? It was off Tinder.

Okay, so you have a bit of a chat and you're like, let's meet for a meal or something. Yeah, we went out for a couple of drinks and some live music at a bar. Okay. And it was very normal at the beginning.

And then we went back to his house and had another drink. And then it kind of started to get interesting. How? How? So,

we got down to business. The first thing that I noticed, like it was normal to begin with, he kissed like a normal guy and everything. And then first thing I noticed was that he used four different condoms. What? He quad bagged? Like double bag bag your quad? No, not at the same time. Like four different ones throughout the session.

So when did he take the first one off? Just sort of precautionarily? Yeah, the first time he needed to pee, so it's kind of understandable. Okay. Yeah, it was just kind of weird. Right, and then why the second change? Second change, I can't even remember. It was just all a blur.

He's like, sorry, we're just going to pull into the pits again. I need to change my tyres. He's like a Formula One driver. Right, yeah, he's just getting through them. Pulling in. Is that your alarm going off? That was my alarm. Oh, wake up. I was like, uh- yeah, he's just getting through them. Pulling in. Are you, is that your alarm going off? That was my alarm. Oh, wake up.

I was like, uh-oh, he's calling. So, okay, so he gets through four of them. We've been through the first two. Let's leave the last two to imagination at this stage. What else happened? He took two different showers. During? During.

Well, nobody had to change the condom, you're not supposed to leave those on for the shower. Oh, my God. Do you think he's a germaphobe? Yeah, I have no idea. His room was pretty messy, so I don't think so. How far into proceedings did he break for the first shower? Probably about 10 minutes.

So was it after the first pit stop? Yeah. Okay. Okay. Okay. Change, so... Okay. Okay, change of Connie. Yeah. Shower. Back into it.

Change of Connie. And then another shower or after two more Connies? Second shower was after two more, yeah. Two more, right. Okay. Right, okay. Next was he said that his man part started to get hot, so he put some cooling cream on them.

Is that why he kept having to shower? Maybe. What's cooling cream? Are we talking aloe? Are we talking a post-sunburn aloe vera? I have no idea what he used. That would explain the showering and the pit stops. Yeah, and the changing of the condominiums.

Maybe it's because of the XXY chromosomes. I have no idea. And what happened last? Last, it was just the way that he slept. It was really, really weird. He always had to be cuddling really close. Every time that I moved, he would start dry humping me and talking in his sleep.

He's like a Labrador in a human's body from all of this weird... So I'm guessing there was no second date? No, definitely not. No. Wow. Okay. And in the morning he changed his sheets on his bed. I can't believe

you stayed. I thought I would. That's not a sleepover situation. No way. Hey, anonymous caller, thank you so much for sharing your swipe mirror. I had a horrible shock. I got a message, a text message from my bank and they were like, your credit card

has been blocked. An actual text from your bank? Yeah. Okay. But I do think you guys were wrong in my mind and it was like call this number and I was like, I'm not going to call it. I mind. And it was like, call this number. And I was like, I'm not going to call it. I'm going to go into the bank just in case. Good thinking.

Good thinking. Good work. Yeah. So I went into the bank and I was like, you have blocked my credit card and I have done nothing wrong. You came in hot then. Yeah. But it had nothing to do with me. So my credit, and this is like full credit to the bank, my credit card had been used in America to try and pay for something medically related.

What, like a surgery or something? So it came up with like a medical facility in the United States. Have you Googled the medical facility? No, that's a good call actually. Do you know what it was called off the top of your head? It started with R oh okay medical facilities in america do you have a state no that start with this is why you only lasted a week in the police megan terrible recall and always like looking at people's backgrounds. Yeah, yeah, terrible. Have they been arrested?

No, it's so confronting though because they sit there and they pulled up all my statements on the screen. He's like, do you know this one? Yeah. Do you know this one? Yeah. I'd be tempted to be like, oh, no. What the heck?

That's fraud, Vaughn. What happened there? I don't recognise the last month of these. They're like, Megan, this is all the same shopping providers that you used for the last four years. Well, that's probably how they got the details then. Someone hacked my account. Credit card has been purged.

Look at all that money. Give it back, please. So they give it back? So this is like how vigilant they are. So they realised that I wasn't in America and they declined it before any money went out. So I don't even know how much it was going to be, but obviously it was going to be a large amount

because also I don't have a very large limit on my credit card for good reason because then I have to pay it off. Yeah. So I don't know if it was more than what I had on there. Maybe it declined because they were going in for a rhinoplasty and trying to put it on your stolen credit card. Yeah. But the question is, because they would have had to cancel your card now,

you've got to redo all your automatic payments, and it's a pain in the A. And I've got to re-memorise that number. It's weird to me that you do that, because I just do it every time I buy something. I like that you're going to sit down and you're going to be like, right, get in a good space. I've got a nice little green tea here.

Five, four, six, seven, four, eight, eight, eight, seven, four, eight, three, two. Expiry date, 06-24-CVV. Is that what the thing on the back's called? CV something? CV or CVV? No, it's a CW. CW CVV Now I need to look at my credit card

I've remembered the security number on the back of Boss Boss's card too No mine doesn't say Does yours not say either? Have you remembered the Boss's credit card? Too scared to use it You've got a freakish memory for doing that I can remember my bank account, my IRD number, cell phone numbers. Yeah, but that only stems back because your first husband was wise

and he kept hiding the card from you. Yeah, so you had to memorise that. So you had to mega-memory it. That's true. What, um, okay, so they'll give you the money back. Well, they didn't take any money because it denied them. Oh, right, okay, so you just have to get a new card. But do they have any idea where they got it from?

No, so that's the thing. Like, is it because I went to a dodgy website once? Or could it be Facebook? Or it could be when you, did you use a credit card overseas when you were on your recent holiday? Could be from that. I use ATM too and they're like, careful, they could skim your cards. Oh yeah, there's really bad skimming overseas.

Could it be that time I tried to buy shoes from Poland, I ordered Nikes and I got fake Gucci's? Perhaps. I would start there because that's silly ringing. Have you ever used that shopping app that's always advertised on Facebook called Wish? No.

Here's a $2 crack pipe. A $2 crack pipe? It's like, hey, here's this leather outfit. You're like, that looks like a sexy outfit. It's $2. I can't say no to that. I think they're targeting the algorithms broken with you if you're getting advertised. I have wishes always telling me some weird stuff.

There was a spanking paddle the other day, and it's always sex and drugs. Which I'm getting neither of, so maybe it knows. Maybe it's like, hey, mate, don't give up. Buy a sex swing and a crack pipe. And it's only $5 That's your best life Yeah, don't give up on the sex and the drugs

A moment to speak about the power of the positive word The, you know The Bible Being nice No, God, have you read that thing? No, I haven't People are always touting it But there's lots of killing of children.

It sounds grim, yeah. Yeah, the Old Testament gets pretty sacrifice-y at times, from my experience. This is a teenager in the UK who just works at Poundland. Which is like the $2 shop. Yeah, where everything's a pound. But not everything. Or it can be any breakdown of a pound. Right. It could be two pounds. Because I've got the

$3 plus GST store by me. Do you? Which I don't like because it just includes the GST. I've got the $1, $2, $3 plus store. So that's everything. Sometimes something's $14. Yeah, well that falls into the plus category. Just call it a store. It's like bed, bath and beyond.

The beyond takes the piss sometimes. Yeah, it does. This wouldn't be in Just call it a store. It's like Bed, Bath and Beyond. The Beyond takes the piss sometimes. Yeah, it does. Like, this wouldn't be in a bed or a bath. They're like, Beyond. You've got me there. You've got me there. You've really, that third one's, or you make the third one very broad.

Yeah. But this teenager who works, 18 years old, works in Poundland, she lives and works near a bridge that sadly is, people take their lives from this bridge. It's a high bridge and people jump off it to end their lives. And obviously they're in a terrible place when it happened and she had heard about it and, you know, locally they knew that this was a problem. So she thought when she's at work, she'd just write some nice notes.

Right. With a number to call for support. The UK version of Lifeline. Right. Which you can text or ring over there and someone will answer and talk you through some tough times, which is a crucial service. Same as here. And I know they struggle with funding. It's horrible. It's crazy that they struggle for funding in New Zealand,

given the problem we've got with mental health and teen suicide and suicide of any age, really. So she just thought, well, I can't do a lot, but what I can do is just put some nice notes on this bridge, some positive things. Like some of the notes they used, she's put over 40 there over time, laminates them and cable ties them on so they last. I was going to say, were they just post-it notes?

Because they'd just blow away. They'd blow away. No, no, she's laminated them, which I'm sure a British winter would see too in no time. But, you know, they're there for a certain amount of time. And she says she's replaced a few that have become damaged, saying things like, you're not alone and it's only going to get better

and, you know, it's not worth it to end it all here and people love you and, you know, it's okay to ask for help. All these, you know, really empowering statements when people are at their lowest. And so she put them along the bridge and they've got cameras on this bridge because if somebody's there for an extended period of time contemplating it, they like to get there and send someone who can try to talk them out of it. And apparently over six people have shown signs of going to end their lives off this bridge and the lingering and the looking and all the signs that they've seen

from people who have previously done it until they see one of these notes and they stop and they read it and they take a little bit of time. And then some of them have got on their phone and called as they've walked away. Some of them have read the notes and they stop and they read it and they take a little bit of time and then some of them have got on their phone and called as they've walked away. Some of them have read the notes and just walked away from it. And they've said she's saved at least six lives that they know of with these little notes that she just made off her own

back, laminated, cable tied to the bridge. And yeah, she just said, well, I didn't really want, she's been given a local award and, you know, touted as a bit of a local hero. She just said, well, I didn't really want, she's been given a local award and touted as a bit of a local hero. She's like, well, I didn't do it for any of this. I just did it to let these people know if they're having a really bad time of it, that it's only going to get better and they're not alone and all the things that she put on notes.

That's so amazing. Six people, their family, you know, those people's families and friends have still got them because of just some simple words that she said. So it's a nice little thing to take into your day. But if you see someone who's having a rough time, a few nice words can really change it around. Don't try to be the worst part of somebody's day-to-day.

Try to be their best. That was really sweet. I just said that one day and my mother-in-law was like, that's a great saying. I was like, oh, I just said that one day and my mother-in-law was like, that's a great saying. I was like, oh, I just thought like, why? Imagine being at the end of somebody's day. They're like, the worst part of my day was that person. And you have to be confronted with the fact that you were someone's,

the worst part of someone's day. Yeah. That'd be awful. So if you try to be the best part of someone's day, it's a step in the right direction. My husband and I have been together for over five years. Your what? Mr. Toyboy? Mr. Toyboy. Thanks.

Sir Lord Toyboy of the Manor. Yep. I mean, that's the ultimate title. Governor General Toyboy. Yep. That's what he's got to aim for. And we, well yesterday I was home. Have you been together five years?

Yeah. Did you just say five years? Five years. That's crazy. Okay. Because I remember when that started. It doesn't seem that long. What's happening?

Time goes so fast, eh? Flies by. When you get old. Yeah. Um, so we still, like, I haven't farted in front of him. I just don't. Mm. Ref refuse to. What if you get really gassy?

Do you sneak away? Because I'm always on to the shut-aids. We've been together 14 years. Yep. Never. And then Indy came out the other day when I was in the garage and she said, Mum just farted in front of us. Because she knows it's like this big deal in our family.

And I said you're kidding me and she said yeah we were playing this game and I went in and I was like did you just fart

in front of the girls and she's like no it was August she blamed me I was like oh okay okay so she doesn't even

fart in front of the girls I don't really fart in front of anyone she just doesn't fart right okay I don't know if it comes out of her nose or somewhere different I don't know how it works but like where She just doesn't fart. Right, okay. I don't know if it comes out of her nose or somewhere different. I don't know how it works, but like, where does it go?

Who knows? I just hold it in. Like, I just don't like want to fart in front of people. And so we're not one of these couple that has like an open bathroom policy. Like some people just go wheeze or whatever. Oh, I'm all about the open bathroom policy. Well, some houses and flats, the toilet is in the shower. Yeah, that's mine. the toilet is in the shower. Yeah, that's mine.

Room, not in the shower. They call it a bathroom, that room with a shower and a toilet. No, but you know a lot have the separate toilet, but sometimes that's not an option, so you have to if you're busting and your partner's in the shower for ages, you've just got to go.

No, or like they'll turn the shower on, you'll be like, no, I need a wheeze so bad, you need to wait and shut the door, go wheeze, and then he can shower. Right. So yesterday, I didn't think anything of it, but I needed to go to the toilet and the bathroom door was shut. So sometimes we shut it because it's like a cold room and you want to like heat the rest of your house, not the bathroom. And I just like didn't think anything of it, proceeded to bowl straight in because I needed to go toilet.

And he's, like, sitting there doing number twos. Number twos, and I didn't know what to do. I was like, I let out a bit of a scream. He's like, what are you doing? What was he doing? Was he on his phone or was he, like, sitting mid-concentrated poo? Mid-concentrated. I think he was getting some toilet paper. on his phone or was he like sitting mid concentrated poo? Mid concentrated poo. I think he was

getting some toilet paper. Oh no. Oh no. You walked in on the worst part. A vulnerable moment. He looked shocked. This is the first time

in five years you've seen this happen. Yeah. That's so weird. It was weird and then he kept bringing it up all night. He's like, well, you've seen me now.

I need to see you. I'm like, that's not a thing. Would you let him watch you childbirth? Oh, nah. What? What, he's going to be outside in the waiting room with a cigar? Stay up by the hedge. It's true.

I'm a father now. Because they always say it's like watching your favourite restaurant burn down. Don't they? Do they? Isn't that what they say? No. I don't know if you can equate a small human... No, it's like your favourite place to go.

Am I digging a hole? No, I've never heard that before. I hope his parents aren't listening. They can rebuild a restaurant. I hope his parents aren't listening. They can rebuild a restaurant. My parents aren't listening. You can actually. You can rebuild right down there as well. I don't want him to see that.

Oh my God, having witnessed it, it's the most magical thing in the world. It makes me feel ill. Right. So no, that's not happening. Never seen me on the toilet. Still not farting or anything like that. Right. So no, that's not happening. Never seen me on the toilet. Still not farting or anything like that. Right. I always check that Shana's got the doors locked when she's going

toilet because I'm like, hello? You're a creep. I know, it's creepy but it's so mysterious. This long and I've never ever known her to take a poo. You don't even know when it's happening. How is she doing that? Do you know when it's happening? No. You know when I'm going toilet the difference because of the time difference.

But what about when you go on holiday? Because sometimes... Mystery. You've never witnessed? Never. No one? Never known it to happen? Because I'd be like, you need to go for a little walk while I go occupy the room.

Oh no, see, I'd never get that either. Well, I thought, because I think I was more embarrassed than him. But I kind of thought, I'd like to know what you've walked in on your partner doing. It doesn't have to be dirty or like toilet related

but like something you didn't know that they did and you walked in on them. Maybe they were keeping it a secret from you. Because they were too scared to show you they were internetting. You walked in on them. Well, and maybe they were keeping it a secret from you. Yeah. Because they were too scared to show you they were into knitting. You walked in on them and either you or they were embarrassed. And why?

Yeah. Okay. Knitting. Well, I don't know what people are hiding. I knew somebody that their partner said, I'm going to bed

and she went to bed. Yeah. And he was like, that's cool, I'm just watching the show. But then he was like, oh, I can watch the rest later when she'd been in bed

for five minutes. And he went up there and she was eating biscuits and he's like what's going on and she was like like she'd been caught cheating she was like mortified

and he's like how often does this whole thing happen this is the first time which it never is no because if it's the first time you're very cautious

when you start getting a little bit like you're letting your security down, you're not listening for them coming down the hallway, you're a seasoned professional. Okay, 0800DARLS.M9696. What have you walked in on your partner doing? FEM.

We're talking about what you walked in on your partner doing yesterday after five years together. Megan walked in on Mr. Toyboy doing number twos and haunting. I don't know how he's going to feel about me telling everyone that. Haunted. You're not the only person and someone said,

wait till this happens to you, Megan. I walked in on my husband doing number twos, but he was mid-wipe and he was standing up to wipe. Oh, no. But I do too and Sade walked in once

and she's like, what are you doing? I was like, I'm wiping my bum. I stand up to wipe. And she's like, why are you standing? I said, because that'm wiping the bum. I stand up to wipe. And she's like, why are you standing? I said, because that's what you do.

That's what you do. You both. No, no, no, no. No, no. Do I have to teach you this? No, I'm a stander. I'm a stander too. Stand and wipe.

No. Because I don't want to put my hand under the dangly bits and water. I take up too much of the toilet seat. If I try to push my hand down between myself and the back of the seat, I'm going to get poos on my wrist. Okay, without getting into too many details, like when you're standing. Let's go detail heavy on this.

Your butt cheeks go back together. You're not getting it. No, you're pulling them apart. No, you're doing a bit of a squat. You're doing a bit of a squat. Yeah, you squat and you pull them apart. Yeah, go like that. This isn't weird.

It produces it behind me as I graphically reenact a wife. So you're all sitters, I guess. You're all sitters. Yes. I knew you were a stand-in. I knew you were a stand-in. You're a good sort. The population's like 50-50 on standing sitters.

Stan, you're immediately closing off the area. Don't Facebook poll. Put it to the people quickly, please. This is so grim. And can you stop doing it, Vaughn? But everybody wipes their bum. It's not grim. It's human in nature. But you. This is so grim. And can you stop doing it, Vaughan? But everybody wipes their bum. It's not grim. It's human in nature.

No, but you're closing off the area. Keep the area open for business. You're not closing it off. You do a squat. You do a squat and you pull your cheek. Yeah. We don't want to see you doing it. And then we will settle this on Instagram.

I guarantee it's pretty much 50-50. Or we're... Because Sade was a poor... I mean, it must have been a pretty... You're like, I'm clothed now. Imagine me nude doing that. It's going to be at least 18 times as haunting. Yeah, right.

But yeah, lots of people saying so. So what have you walked in on your partner doing? And maybe you've been shocked or surprised. Polly is on the phone. Polly, what happened? My partner walked in on me. He was coming over to pick me up. They were going up to dinner or something, and he was early,

and he burst in while I was waxing my upper lip. Oh, no. So he didn't. He is, and he had no idea that I had any kind of moustache situation going on. Oh, no. So did it not grow back? I'm ignorant to the world of female upper lip waxing, but does it not grow back stubbly?

No. No, no. It grows back kind of patchy, so you can kind of tweeze it in between, and it's not glaringly obvious if you keep maintenance up. So what did he say when he saw that? He was actually really fascinated and then proceeded to ask me

if I could possibly wax various parts of his body. Oh! He was like, do you think you could do the back of my neck one day? I was like, um, I guess. So it actually brought you closer together. Yeah, yep, you could say that. Until you were torn apart. Hey, Polly, thanks for your call.

Sophie, what did you walk in on your partner doing? Well, he always used to take forever to get ready, and I just, you know, I was like, what is going on in there? So one day I opened the door, and he was literally using my concealer and foundation off his face. What? Okay. Oh, my.

Because there's a rising trend in man make-up counters in department stores. And why shouldn't they? Oh, but he was like a deer in the headlights, like so guilty, like tried to hide it. And I'm like, oh my God. And I just shut the door and I'm like, I can't deal with that. But had you never, because I feel like looking at him, you would have seen that he had concealer and makeup on.

You'd never seen before. I mean, I always had a slight suspicion, but it was just like, it's just, you know, I'm like, oh, whatever, it's probably just, you know, like dry skin or something, like don't be silly. But then, yeah, and it wasn't the first time I caught him. I was actually late to my mum's wedding because he was too busy putting

makeup on. You're like, oh, mate, you are so lucky we are the same shade. Did he have, because I had a friend who was very blushy and rosy-cheeked and was so self-conscious about it, so would secretly do it. Tone down the red. Yeah, he kind of was just like, hide his pimples. But I'm like, oh, my God, their pimples.

Give my husband, like, go, right? But then you... And then once it's not a secret anymore, he's like, well, I'm taking my time. The battle for the bathroom. Thanks, you're cool, Sophie. No problem. Some other text messages. I walked into the room unannounced and my husband slammed a box shut and put it under the bathroom. Thanks, you're cool, Sophie. No problem. Some other text messages.

I walked into the room unannounced and my husband slammed a book shut and put it under the pillow. I was like, what? What's secretly reading? It's like, it's the equivalent of when you look at your dog and you're like, what have you got in your mouth? And the dog goes. Swallows it. You're like, oh, well, you're going to die. Did they find out what book it was?

Yes. Fifty Shades. No, it was a Mills and Burns, so not too far off. That's so cute. They said, I don't know why you're hiding it. I'm okay with it. And he's like, I don't know. It's just a bit embarrassing.

I'll just start reading it. It's romantic. You're allowed to read. Somebody else said, I went upstairs and my girlfriend slammed the laptop shut. That's guilty. What are you doing? She's like, oh, it's just online shopping. Open it then.

Nah. She'd been watching adult content. And he said, look, I can tell you've already watched these ones because they're purple when you click on them. What you've got to do is put on an incognito and gave her a lesson on how to be a bit more discreet when watching adult content. Oh, my God.

Brilliant. Yeah. Okay. So there you go. Lots of people walking on. Now, as a side branch to the current conversation, Vaughn, we admitted that we're standing wipers in the toilet. I'm shook.

I thought I knew you too. The Instagram poll, Anya has just put it up. So it's literally just gone up. There's only 60, 40 votes in it. Sitting, 31, 10 standing. So it's 76% of people sit. Oh, yeah, that's... Wow, we're in a minority.

How do you fit your head in? Hey, that's my exact toilet. That's my exact toilet. Did you know? That's my exact toilet. Did you know? Next time when you're in the Instagram poll voting, that's what I poo on.

Exactly that toilet. Okay, FBMZM, if you'd like to join, quite a riveting... That's a soft-close toilet, by the way. Yeah, I love a soft-close toilet. Ooh, long gone are the days of accidentally slamming your fingers in Nana's old porcelain toilet. Well, we're kicking it off tomorrow.

So from tomorrow morning, your chance to win cash. Soundkeeper Gary joins us. Guys, just Gary now? Just Gary. You're not keeping anything. Beekeeper Gary. Beekeeper Gary. Beekeeper Gary. Office co-worker Gary to us. Collie.

Massage. Oh, yeah, that, by the way. Specialist Gary. Thank you very much. That sorted that out. Because you did a massage course, didn't you? I did. I did in Wellington.

Now that I had a time for that. I saw you with Vaughan, I thought it was a bit creepy, but then I realised you're a qualified masseuse. He's qualified. And yeah, did it. I did it the next day that it was gone. An intern walked in, saw me and Vaughan, I thought it was a bit creepy, but then I realised you're a qualified masseuse. He's qualified. And yeah, did it. I did it the next day that it was gone. An intern walked in, saw me and Vaughan, and just walked out. Didn't say anything. I was like, if you're not willing

to put up with this, you can't work here! So, for those who don't know, Soundkeeper Gary retired a couple of weeks ago as our soundkeeper. Now, we have been taking registrations for a new soundkeeper. And you've chosen your protege. What do you call it in theatre?

Understudy. An understudy. That's right. You're understudy. Had hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of entrants last week. But we found the right person. She's trustworthy. She's sturdy.

But the problem is she's got a small head. So I can't find radio headphones that fit her. Also, just never call a female sturdy. Just don't. Oh, okay, yeah. radio headphones that fit her. Also, just never call a female sturdy. Just don't. Oh, okay, yeah. Erase that from that. You said she's sturdy and got a small head. Gary, you're married.

How did you pull that off when you called people sturdy? Oh, I thought you were saying don't flirt with her by calling her sturdy. She's sturdy and small-headed. Your wife might be listening. That's terrible. If that was flirting, that's terrible flirting. And thanks to Save My Bacon,

it's back offering Kiwis a safe, reliable place to borrow money online. Your chance to win cash. And it all officially kicks off tomorrow because we have found our soundkeeper, somebody to replace Soundkeeper Gary. We welcome into studio Soundkeeper Annabelle. Good morning.

Morning, guys. Welcome. So you've been chosen. Yeah, yeah, got chosen. From a subject. She's already caged you. She's like side-eyeing me. I know, she did side-eye you then.

So you've made the secret sound already? Yep, done. Done dusted. Okay. Have you signed the legal documents? Yep, it's all ready to go. Was that quite intense? Yeah, it was pretty scary.

Did you have like a family lawyer or something look over it? No, I'm a student. Come on, guys. You've never signed a radio contract without having a lawyer look over it. We don't tell interns or contestants that. We had to learn the hard way. I just don't want the future generations to be learning the hard way.

Before you know it, there'll be a snakey contract. There'll be copywriting your names or something. Okay, so you've made the sound. Can you give us a clue or can we hear the sound before tomorrow's first contesting? Oh, no.

I think you guys can wait till tomorrow. At the moment, I've got the money. So the longer I put it off, the better chances I have. Oh, no. I think you guys can wait until tomorrow. At the moment, I've got the money, so the longer I put it off, the better chances I have. That's true. Now, so all up, we've got $50,000 to give away. We're going to start,

I believe, at about $20,000 tomorrow. And then it'll go up. Yep. Now, if you can keep the secret sound secret for the length of the competition, which I believe is four weeks.

Roughly. You get the $50,000 cash. Yeah. What would you spend $50,000 on? Look, to be honest, I'm going to put a little bit away for my loan, but probably go travelling. Yeah.

Because you're studying at the moment? Yeah. What are you studying? I study marine biology. Dolphins! I love dolphins! Oh my god, so what do you want to do in the end with that?

To be honest, I'm not too sure. I'm assuming ocean-based is my... You really hope so. Everybody, dolphins is like... Everyone wants to do dolphins, though, I would imagine. That'd be a crowded part of the marine biology section.

Who's seaweed? Because you know I love those seaweed snacks at the supermarket. You do love that, don't you? And sushi, that's often got seaweed around it. Yeah. See? And they reckon that seaweed's going to be like the future way of getting rid of the carbon dioxide, eh? So it's a good degree, this one.

You know about that. You're the marine biologist. All right. So you've signed all the legal documents. Can you keep this a secret? Yeah, of course. Is it a little tempting, though, when the money gets to $50,000 and say we're a week away and maybe people you think are getting close

after weeks of guesses, do you think it would be tempting to tell a friend on the sly and cut the money with them? Nah, nah. Nah, I think I'd rather just get the whole thing myself. Right. A lot easier. What did they say, the lawyers, when that was an option? Did they say, like, what would happen?

I'm going to jail. They're going to send people after me. See you in hell. They did. That's what lawyers always say. Yeah, yeah. Anyway, see you in hell. Also, I think New Zealand's too small to pull that off

Because you'd have somebody winning And then instantly people would be like Oh, well I know them And they know our soundkeeper And what about your mum and dad? Because even when people are like, don't tell anyone You tell your mum and dad No, I didn't tell mum and dad

Mum knows I'm good at keeping secrets Oh, does she? What's mum hiding? No, it's tell mum and dad. Mum knows I'm good at keeping secrets, so yeah. Oh, does she? What's mum hiding? No, it's what mum's discovered that Annabelle's trying to keep secret. Previously, she knows that she's a good secret keeper. Okay. Your secret sound, do you think it's going to be hard to guess? Obviously, you'd... I want it to be hard.

You want it to be hard? Of course I want it to be hard. Does it sound like... What does it sound like? What does it sound like? I'm trying to get some. You want it to be hard? Of course I want it to be hard. Does it sound like, what does it sound like? What does it sound like? I'm trying to get some clues. She wants to win. Yeah, no.

I'm on her side. She's not going to say what it sounds like. You've got to be my friends, guys, because that's guesses. Is it a hole punch? Oh, you could be onto something there. Is that your official guess? That is, secret sound-wise, that is always the number one guess. Is it a whole bunch? Okay, well,

we're going to start tomorrow morning. Oh, I can't wait to hear it. And that'll be our first listen to ZM's Secret Sound with our new soundkeeper. Yeah, wait and see tomorrow, guys. It'll be good. Good luck. Oh, that sounded menacing, sorry. It did sound menacing.

Actually, have we got a novelty check somewhere? Have we got that? Soundkeeper Gary's got it. We're going to give you this novelty check for $50,000. Can you not cash it yet, though? She's quite heavy. Yeah. That is yours.

Gary, you've put the wrong date on it. You're supposed to put the date that you can cash it on. Not today's date. She can literally cash that right now. God, Gary. I didn't put only on the end of the words. And he spelled dollars. Dollars.

That's the best kind of money, isn't it? Dollars. At the end of ZM's Secret Sound, thanks to Save My Bacon, that novelty giant check with 50k on it is yours. That sounds pretty good to me. Unless, of course, somebody listening can guess your Secret Sound and that chance is happening tomorrow morning.

In our house, I don't know why this has started happening, but Indy, our six-year-old, decided she's really into pranks. Oh, God. Now, she hasn't started pulling pranks yet, but she has come to me floating some prank ideas she had. I started writing this down yesterday. Is she watching YouTube? I think YouTube kids pranks.

Okay. As a YouTube right. The jour that she's really into at the moment. This must tickle you being in radio, loving a prank. Huge fan of radio pranks. I know you are. So I don't know whether Sade said, oh, talk to your dad about it or maybe dad's got

some ideas because she's just like brainstorming ideas for pranks. Okay. So I wrote some of them down that we talked about yesterday. Okay. These are her pranks. Six years old. We tell August that we've got her a drink of orange juice. Yep.

But it's lemonade. Oh, and it's something yucky. It's got to be like marmite juice or something. Because that's a nice surprise. August freaks out when she drinks something. She doesn't know it's going to be bubbly and then it's bubbly and she goes Oh, okay. So given

that her adversity to bubbles, that's quite funny. Savage. Very savage. And I said, well, I have to get a cup that she can't see through because if she can see that it's, she's like, right. We'll keep an eye out for a cup. A Tommy Tippi.

Yeah, yeah. Brilliant. A lid on cup. Another one was when mum's upstairs, and mum's generally upstairs watching Love Island, when mum's upstairs, we tell mum there's a package here for her. That's savage. And this is how she tells it.

This is how she tells it as well. She's really like she looks around and she's like, then when she comes downstairs no package. We've made her walk down the stairs for nothing. I say, oh, okay, that's a pretty good prank because, you know, mum doesn't like going up and down the stairs for no reason.

I would tell her off for that. You never tell mummy there's a parcel there when there isn't. I will run her by. I was like, that would be a good one for Megan. She gets very excited about packages. We're at the supermarket and we're just talking, we're walking around the fruit and veg part. Yeah.

And she was asking why things are more expensive now than they were in summer. Yeah. Like just seeing the numbers and how much things cost. And then later on, she said, okay, I've got another prank. I'm like, all right, what do you got? She's like, well, we ask people if they like tomatoes. I'm like, all right, then what do we do? Then we tell them how expensive tomatoes are.

Which, I don't know, that cuts as a person that loves tomatoes. It cuts very hard at the moment to be tomato-less or paying an exorbitant amount for tomatoes. And then another one of hers, I don't know where she got this one from. She said, I've got another idea for a prank. I said, what is it? And she said, we ask people if they want their lawns mowed. That was it.

I was like, there's got to be a payoff. And she's like, well, we don't mow them. We just ask them if they want their lawns mowed. And then they say yes. And we say, okay.

And then just don't turn up. And then we don't mow them. No, we never promised to mow them. Oh, right. We never say we're going to mow them. Apparently the idea is we ask them if they want their lawns mowed.

I say, do we say afterwards, we'll mow your lawns then? And she's like, well, no, you don't need to. That's a prank. Yeah, it's been pranked. And her final one that she came up with yesterday when we were watching TV, she said, I've got another idea for a prank. We tell Babel we know SpongeBob and Patrick.

Then when they ask us how we know SpongeBob and Patrick, we say we've only ever seen them on television. Then when they ask us how we know SpongeBob and Patrick, we say we've only ever seen them on television. And she thinks she's nailing the prank game. And I know there's something super adorable about a six-year-old telling you these ideas and thinking she's the most mischievous little kid on the block. It's not too far different from her dad. No, not really, yeah. Weird

nonsensical ramblings coming out of the mouth of a 36 year old or a 6 year old. A tangent, if you will, if you will engage me in this tangentry. We talked about the standing versus sitting

wiping. You walked in on Mr. Toyboy after five years, Megan, and you caught him on the toilet. You've never done that before. No. But he was sat, wasn't he? Yeah.

And I said, wait till you walk in and I'm standing wiping. Like, that shocked my wife and I thought I was done shocking her. Well, there was debate in studio and we put it on an Instagram pile. We thought it would be pretty 50-50. Shook. If.

Absolutely shook. Absolutely shook if. What's the current standings at now? Oh my lord. Yeah, it's not good Vaughan, it's not good for us because we're sitters. No, we're standers and sitters 73% to 27% of people

who stand up. So we're in a real minority there of a quarter of people. I was just looking at diagrams on Google of how to wipe and all of them show sitting down. And there's been, yeah, you're not going to get, we're not going to change that poll result. No, no, that's not changing any time soon. Not after 1,000 plus votes.

God damn it. It's okay to be in the minority. It is. Yeah. As a white man of middle class, you've not experienced a lot of being in the minority. And now you can live. Right.

You know what it's like now. But it's weird because you don't know what everyone else does, do you? Because you've always done it. Well, you do it in private. You do it in private. It's best done in private. So you don't know what everyone... It's just...

What a day of learning. I can hear the shooketh in your voice. I'm going to try it sitting down next time. It won't end well. Yeah. I have to take my watch off because of the wrist thing I said about before. Why are you saying it's threatening to everyone else?

It won't get all effected. Well, I hope you're happy. I've got poos all over my wrist now. Oh, okay. And now I've fallen over. It's on the seat. Okay, it's time for... Fact of the Day.

Day, day, day, day. Today's fact of the day. What? Did someone go doobie doo? Doobly doo. At the end? Maybe. It's about the crunchy bar. Oh, Doobly doo. At the end? Maybe. It's about the crunchy bar.

Oh, okay. Lucky that it's a crunchy bar. Not only did it have the catchiest ad of the 80s and 90s with the train thing and the pulling. That wasn't a great react. Shouldn't have bothered. The fact is that when they make crunchy bars,

they cut the hokey pokey using a jet of oil. Wow. What? So they make a huge slab. Because have you ever made hokey pokey? Yeah. What is it? Golden syrup, baking soda

Not vinegar Something else, bicarbonated And it sets it off And it's hard to make too Because you can't burn the sugar And it's not like a crunchy bar It's very hard And then once you've made it

It's an impossible beast to control Like a volcano Unless you've got it set in a case, it'll overflow and it'll run and it won't be even, Stephens. Well, it'll be lumpy here

and flat there. Yeah. Well, they've perfected the ability of making a huge slab because they can't make them individually. Yeah.

You think about it. Because it would go everywhere. Yeah, it would overflow and it would be like lumpy and how would you get the right amount in and it would just be a nightmare. So they make them in huge slabs

and then literally a jet of oil comes through and such precision, such high pressure and, you know, very, very thin, it can cut a crunchy into that perfect side that you'll find if you eat a crunchy like I do by nibbling all the chocolate off. Oh, that's what I do. And then eating the hokey pokey last.

Why don't they use water? Why don't they use water? Well, what happens when you put the hokey pokey on your tongue? It dissolves. Yes, but for some reason, oil doesn't dissolve it. I can't find what the hell kind of oil they use to do this. Olive. You just use olive for everything. No, it won't be olive.

Why not? Too expensive. It'd be too expensive, yeah. They'd be using some kind of oil. Canola. Castrol. Castrol. The cheap stuff. You know when you're at the petrol station and you need a little tub of oil and you're

looking and you're like, I don't love my car enough for the top. I don't want to look like a bad car owner by going to the bottom. I'll go for this middle of the range stuff. Yep. Maybe that. Or just the cheap stuff. Yep. Maybe that. Or just the cheap stuff. They're not using motor oil. No, they're not using motor oil.

Obviously, because it's a food product. But yeah, that's interesting. Yeah, they use a jet of highly concentrated high pressure oil to cut it.

And then they run it through the chocolate coating machine and it gets done. Now I want a crunchy. I know, so good. Thank you for that. So good. It's all around the world too.

Very popular. Yep. Everywhere. In fact, they bought out in 2010. Did you hear about the never-ending crunchy? No. It was 40 crunchies tied together. Like a decorative hanging streamers.

Wreath. So you could eat your way through the 40 crunchies and they were all hung. It was a Christmas time special and so you... Oh, we need that again in 2018. Thank you. Yes, totally the thing. So yeah, today's fact of the day is that they cut crunchy bars

from a giant slab using a very high pressure, precise jet of oil. Are you okay? It's just being silly. Are you okay? What's his thing? Okay. Did my dinosaur. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Day. Day. You're welcome Megan You are welcome You're teasing it this far in advance And some things It's going bad Something bad is happening to me

No it's just your birthday present Don't throw anything at my face okay Nothing will be thrown at your face Physically you're not going to be hurt Okay So you don't have to worry It's not some jackass prank or anything We're not going to do hurt. Okay. Yep. So you don't have to worry. It's not some jackass prank or anything. No, no, no.

We're not going to do that to you. Okay. It's a compliment. Actually, I would say, I would say it's a compliment. An improvement ceremony. Yes. Yeah.

Okay. So tomorrow, Megan's birthday present from us. It's from the heart. This is a problem at home at the moment in my house. We've got, okay, and I said it before, it's the problem at home at the moment at my house. We've got a... And I said it before. It's the cupboard

above the extractor fan. So you've got your oven, your extractor fan, and a cupboard above the extractor fan. Not used for anything. Okay. Never used.

A wasted cupboard, I thought, when I started putting in there jars. Okay. So if we have something that's in a jar... Yep. A glass jar.

A glass jar. Okay. Or like a plastic jar that's got a jar. Yep. A glass jar. A glass jar. Okay. Or like a plastic jar that's got a good lid on it. Okay. I've got peanut butter jar. Okay. I would keep a plastic peanut butter jar. I would say to Sade, don't throw that jar out.

We're going to put it in the cupboard. I wash it and we put it in the cupboard. Now, why? Here's the reason why I'm collecting jars. Soundkeeper Gary, ex-Soundkeeper Gary, is also current beekeeper Gary. He's got bees. He's got bees. He's a naperist.

I don't know how his neighbours feel about that in the suburb. Probably because of gardens or flowering trees, they probably love it. Well, we need to do as much as we can for the bees. Yeah, we love the bees. Sir David Attenborough is upset. He's telling us all to leave a spoon of honey in our backyard. Is it a spoon of honey? Yeah, a big spoon of honey mixture.

Because the bees are dying. I thought it was sugar and water mixture. I don't know. Oh yeah, it's sugar and water. Sorry, not honey. Because leaving honeys are eating their own. Do they eat the honey? Yeah, they use it as fuel. So they probably could use honey,

but yeah, they could use honey. Sugar water. Yeah. So I'm keeping all these jars because Gary said he needs jars. Yeah. For the honey. And last time I gave him like three jars because Gary said he needs jars. Yeah. For the honey. And last time I gave him like three jars that we just had around the house.

Yeah. And he gave me three jars with honey in it. And I was like, hello, barter system. This is the greatest exchange. I give him empty jars. He gives me back full jars. But are you giving him anything else? He keeps me in honey.

Yeah. Because I'm not. Maybe I give him praise on his honey. I was going to recycle jars don't equal. Have you bought honey lately? It's so expensive. I know. It's ridiculous. That's why I'm saying, and Sade's like, how many bloody jars does Gary need?

And I said, hey, next time you're at the supermarket, check how much honey is. I think it's alright if this unutilised cupboard is being filled with jars. Right. And we've almost reached peak jars. Well, you should give them to him. I'm going to. Well, I have to. Right. And we've almost reached peak jars. Well, you should give them to him. I'm going to.

Well, I have to. She's like, I want these jars gone. You should trickle them to him because now you're just going to bring in like 50 jars all at once. But it's not honey season yet, is it? No. So maybe wait until it's honey season. So I don't know if he's been inundated with jars

and he's got nowhere to put the jars and this underutilised cupboard in my house is doing nothing otherwise. It can hold on to the jars. Right. God, I've got some good jars in there. Good jars. I've got a great amount of jars.

And, you know, when I explain, because I go through a fair bit of honey. I have honey in my coffee instead of sugar now. And that's, you get through when you drink as much coffee as I do. You sure get through the honey. So it's just a great little ploy. And Sade said, is this something your dad would do? It totally is. And I said, 100%.

My dad and we're generations of, oh, better hold on to that. Steve might, he said once he wanted a bit of that. And so you end up collecting something for Steve because once he mentioned that he might need a jar, now my cupboard full of jars. And I said, I'm not the only one doing this. And she said, I don't think anybody else collects things for their friends. We sometimes will collect if we're given a present with a ribbon on it.

We'll say, no, a ribbon for Megan. I'm obsessed with ribbons. Oh, no, I didn't think I was doing that. No, that's really sweet. I love that. You hold on to the ribbon and you give it to Megan because she loves ribbon. Yeah. What do you do with them?

I have a big box of ribbons. Yeah, but what do you do with the big box? Well, whenever I wrap a present, I use one. And then I go through and I, like, pick my favourites. What goes... I love the feeling of them. What, like, matches the person's personality. Yeah, I roll them up again.

Yeah, and if you pull them and they've got good, like... I like... Yeah, like, they're strong, she'll tie Mr Toyboy to the bed frame with them. The ones with the little soft wire on the outside so they're easily bent into pretty bows. Yeah, they bent. You go in the pretty bow and you twist up the sides.

Yeah, right. Actually, that's good. I've seen her get pretty excited about these wire-edged ribbons before. But I was wondering if anybody sort of collects anything for a mate. Like your mate's into something or wants something so you've started a mini collection for them. Or they're always nagging you to be collecting. Yeah.

Like they're like, guys. I see any sign, sir. Could you grab it? I guess if you had a friend that was into pen collecting, you could, if you just nicked pens all the time. Yeah, okay. But then you're just turning into them, eh? Yeah, you're collecting pens on their behalf.

Yeah, I don't know. Maybe, and then you start, you know, you haven't seen them for a while, so you've got 50 pens, you're like, well, I might as well just start my own collection. I don't know. It's not what you want to be doing. Give us a call, 0800-DARLS-ATM-9696.

People are into some weird, odd things. What are you collecting for a friend? Give us a call. 0800-DARLS-AT-M 9696. People are into some weird, odd things. What are you collecting for a friend? Give us a call or a text now. We're talking about what you're

collecting for a friend. You're collecting jars. I've got a cupboard full of jars for Sound Cable Gary's

next honey season. I hope it's a booming season because he's got some jars to fill him to do that. You know that his wife was like

you should ask these guys for some money. For the honey. gives it away for free. No, but I give them the jars. No, but jars don't even... These people are coming in jarless. But you...

He's giving money to... He's giving honey to people who are coming in jarless. He's got to pay, though, for your... I don't expect every one of these jars. But you should give a little koha. A little... Okay. A little donation.

Okay, I will, in the form of jars. Nobody said koha had to mean money. Jars are free for you, Vaughan. Easily the most popular text message we've had in is people collecting egg cartons for friends with chickens because they have so many chickens and they've got to get rid of the eggs, but obviously egg cartons by design are the best way to transport eggs. Yeah, we grew up with chickens, like half a dozen,

seven or eight or nine, and you get so many eggs. You get one a day and you think, oh, that's not much. But then you're not going to eat eight or nine eggs a day. Then you miss a day. Yeah. You've got apes and you've got eggs everywhere. Somebody else said, my friend makes kowtowai, the traditional robe, cape, which requires bird feathers.

My mum collects her dead birds that she finds on the side of the road. Usually, if she finds a native one, that's a pretty prized bit of roadkill. Can I say, do you have to use nice birds for that? Because you couldn't just use a seagull feather, could you? You couldn't use a manky pigeon. Nah. Or a seagull. You'd want a nice feather. Yeah.

She keeps them in the freezer and takes a bag of dead frozen birds over to her freezer whenever she sees them. Someone said, I've and takes a bag of dead frozen birds over to her friends' house whenever she sees them. Oh, brim. Someone said, I've currently got a hell of a jar collection. I'd give them to a mate. In return, I get homemade tomato sauce, pasta sauce, jams, chutneys, pickled food, and even homebrew. That's a good system.

That's a good return. That's a great return. What a good variety. You'd chuck those out. I know. Reduce, reuse. Something else. Something else.

Jess, what are you saving for a friend? Well, when I was younger, my friend used to think that the world was run out of sugar, so I'd collect the sugar sachets off cafe tables. I've never heard of the world having a sugar shortage. In fact, it's the opposite, isn't it? We're having too much. So much sugar.

So she'd just collect them in a box. Right, okay. And you'd be at a cafe and you'd be like, oh, there's another five. I can just chuck them in purse. Yeah. So I just snap chatted to her, do you want some sugar? Did she actually have like a bag of sugar at home or like? No, she had a big box, but she eventually had to throw it out because

she got heaps of rats. I was going to say, sugar does attract all sorts of creepy crawlies. And then if you're doing baking, you're like, how many sugar sach. I was going to say, sugar does attract all sorts of creepy crawlies. And then if you're doing baking, you're like, how many sugar sachets is this going to take? Yeah, tear open a thousand of them for a cup. Yeah, GSX, you call. Jennifer, what are you collecting for a friend?

I am a hairdresser, so I keep all the hair in my salon. And she hangs it on her clothesline with pegs, and then the birds in all of her trees, she's got a big property, they line their nests with it. What kind of birds? I don't think we should be assisting the common sparrow. If they're

native birds, if the tui or the old birds have babies. Yeah, I know, but can she be a bit pickier about who she's giving the comfy hair to? Well, I've started doing it too. And they take it? Yeah. They take anything.

Do you have like a limit though? Like if you're giving someone a trim? Oh, no, I wouldn't keep that. But it's more like heavier lots of hair I keep. Right. And do you ever tell clients like this could end up in a bird's nest? Yeah, I tell all of them they love it. I've never heard.

I guess it's better than just chucking it out. But I would have thought they would have built their nest anyway with straw. They do. They build it with sticks and fur, hair, anything. I guess this is like for birds, it's like pink bats really, isn't it? Yeah. Yeah. It's like leaving scraps of pink bats out for the other people to insulate their homes

with. Jennifer, thanks for your call. Some other text messages. Bacardi bottles are great for past the sauce. So I've got a cupboard full of those. Oh, you just take the labels off. Because they've kind of got like a little design on them, don't they? But would it be something about the shape of the bottle would be good?

Yeah. Because I thought past the sauce you'd want a nice open end. Or if you've got a chunky sauce. Yeah. Yeah, you'd want those a little bit more. Somebody else said they're collecting milk bottle tops for a friend. They work in a preschool and the amount of things that that can be. I mean, just the top of my head.

Eyes. A wheel. An eyes. Yeah, I've got someone who collects takeaway coffee cups because they do painting with them. They use them as stamps in the bottom. Oh, yeah, and you could use the bottom of it to hold the paint too. Oh, so many uses.

Look at us go. All right, somebody else here, bread tags. We ask all our friends to hold onto their bread tags from bags of bread and then one weekend in February we use them in the vineyard to clip the nets on to keep the birds away. Oh, okay. Very effectively. ZM's, Fletch, Vaugh Oh, okay. Very effectively.