ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Megan Podcast - July 30 2019

Episode Date: July 29, 2019

A weird move someone pulled in the bedroom, This Is Why I'm Fat and when did you fight the system?See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

ZM. Head music lives here. Fletch Warner Megan, the podcast. Thanks, Anya. Good morning. Welcome to the show, Fletch Warner Megan. This is great news in the UK if this goes through, because what? People will stop asking for money on the street, like those Greenpeace people. Is that it? No, no. That would be great. And maybe they would be slightly less likely to charge at you. Yep.

No, it's more of a sexual harassment situation. Ah, right. Which is weird, right? I considered that would probably be illegal already. Yeah. To be... That's not illegal. People do it all the time.

I thought it would have been... I know people do it, but I thought it would have been... Like, you could go to the police if you had a problem and they'd be able to do something about it. But it's have been I know people do it but I thought it would have been like you could go to the police if you had a problem and they'd be able to do something about it but it's not been illegal can you imagine

going to the police and being like I got catcalled by a bunch of guys a building site yeah and they'd be like

I don't walk that way again like they're not going to do anything about it well now they can just get a fine yeah you'd have to film it though right

because otherwise how's that proof yeah you'd have to prove it though, right? Because otherwise, how's that proof? Yeah, you'd have to prove it. But I mean, France, like 400 fines. Wow, really? It got made illegal

last September. It's 440 odd fines. Oh, well, fair enough. That's good. Like it. All right. I'm still okay with it. If anybody wants to

say anything to me. No, we to me, I'll take it. We're good. Still waiting to say it. Well, there was that one time I got called a dilf while I was running. That's right, but you loved it. You loved it though. But that was when I was pushing a pram with Indy, so that would have been six years ago. Oh, they've dried up.

I'm ready for another one. The comments have dried up. Yeah. Maybe I'll just start pushing a pram around without a baby in it. That never looks crazy, eh? No, no, no. Just put a blanket on it or something. Or some pamphlets.

I could do a pamphlet run. Using a pram. That doesn't look crazy either. No. No. Okay, back to the drawing board. All right, you lot, listen up. It's story time.

What is Vaughn doing? Getting his morning coffee? Just sitting here in time, mate. Just when he's ready. Well, we could just do this. Just when you're ready, mate. We're only just doing the radio show. Thank you.

I could have just had free rate of story time. There's an old saying about people waiting. What? If you're important enough, they will. And thank you very much for reiterating that. Well, I was ready to just do it without you. Yeah, fair. Next time we'll just do it without you.

Okay. See, I win either way. I know. Zero sense of urgency ever. I know. You're going to outlive us all. That's the way. That's this.

They've started writing short songs. They're bloody songs now. They're under to outlive us all. That's the way. That's this. They've started writing short songs. They're the bloody songs now. They're under three minutes long. They are. Can't even go for a week. I don't even think there's been a new song in the last three or four months. It's been over three minutes. Bloody Spotify's.

They get more streams on Spotify. See, everyone's making two minute 40 songs because you can stream it twice as much. I can't wait until someone makes a song that literally is about a minute long. Yeah. But it ends the way it starts. So you could just loop it in four times. Forever in it. Forever.

Yeah. And you listen to eight minutes of it and it's eight plays. Money, money. Money, money, money, money. Money, money, money, money. That's how that song goes. All right. Story time.

Three news headlines. Vaughn and Megan pick one of the following three. Headline one, police solve case of the cheeseburger minus one bite. Headline two, failed drive-by. And headline three, 97-year-old shares secret to longevity. I actually know story number one. Did you see this, Vaughan? So, a guy opened up his burger from McDonald's

and there was a couple of bites out of it and he complained, was really upset. He's a policeman. Policeman, that's right. He's a policeman. Put his burger in the fridge. Came back. Oh, did he put it in the fridge?

Oh, so he bought a burger, took it back to the station. Yeah, put it in the fridge, came back, someone had taken a couple of bites out of it. Yeah. Went to McDonald's. Complained. Said this is absolutely appalling. Like, need you to do something about it.

No, it was done at the police station then, honestly. I'm a police officer. Someone's taken the, because, you know, I guess they're worried that people will do something to their food. Yeah. But he'd forgotten that he'd taken a bite before he put it in the fridge. He had to apologise and be like,

oh, actually. How did he get back there? Like, surely the drive there, you'd be like, oh, someone's taken a, oh. Woo! Turn around and go back.

Forgetful. That's a great story. And he's got a gun. He's got, yeah. Yeah. Good. Yeah. Needs one.

To shoot all the people who he forgot. That he knows. Would you like failed drive-by or 97-year-old shares secret to longevity? I'd have either of those. You choose, Vaughn. I always like hearing a long, because it wouldn't be if it was like vegetables. It wouldn't make it. It's like whiskey and ciggies.

Yeah, it's booze and lollies or something. Crack. Okay, well, it's not crack, but a 97-year-old Belgian woman, she spends her evenings in a local bar in her hometown. Yes, she does. She's known for ordering the same thing every time. Gin. Beer.

Oh, beer. There it is. Yeah. Wow. She is saying the secret to her longevity is beer every single day. How many? She drinks between 12 and 20 glasses of beer per visit. There's no photo of her.

See, I was going to say. The secret to these things is moderation. Yeah, like maybe one or two beers a day. She's hammering 12 to 20 beers a pot. And apparently can completely handle her booze too at 90. That wouldn't have been. Because she's pickled her liver. I'd be comatose with that.

Right. I'd be like, gone burgers. She said she doesn't take any medication in the past four years. She's only been ill twice. And her doctor says if she can manage to make the journey to the bar, there's no reason why she shouldn't continue. She's just drunk. She doesn't feel any pain anymore.

Oh, yeah, she's pickled. She's pickled. She's preserving herself. She'll make it to 100. Good work, man. That's the thing. This old batlet is drinking 11 to 12, 20 glasses a day of beer, and then there's those healthy people people and they drop dead at 50.

Oh yeah, it's genetics. Because they did a marathon. She's got real, yeah, sturdy genetics. Nothing's going to throw her off her perch. Flesh, Vaughan and Megan. The Podcast. ZM. There was this celebrity wedding.

YouTubers, Jake Paul and Tana. I don't actually know how to say her last name. I see it all the time. But Mong... Mongau? I don't know. The key is always say it like you know. Jake Paul and Tana Mongau.

Yeah. Mongau. Mongau. Mongau. It might be Mongau. Is this Logan Paul's brother? Yes. Okay, right.

So like classy. Yeah. They got Logan Paul's brother? Yes. Okay, right. So like classy. Yeah. They got married and they got married in Las Vegas. It was all filmed and it was live streamed via Halogen TV. Now, if you wanted to watch it though, you had to pay 75 New Zealand dollars for the pleasure. They were charging. It's actually a good dollars for the pleasure. They were charging. It's actually a good idea for actual celebrities. Yeah, so everyone's like, the royal wedding was free,

but we have to pay for this. But then the royals are like public property, kind of. But as you can imagine, this was an interesting affair, this wedding. So someone dressed up as, looked like an Elvis priest married them. Right, in Vegas,

yeah, that's your classic. But I think it cost them $750,000 New Zealand. So, you can understand why maybe they were charging for it. Hey,

the guy, I'm just reading some dots, some bullet points on the wedding. They were married by their event manager, Arman Azadi. That's just how he dresses, Megan. Oh, really? So he's not an Elvis impersonator. Nah, I can see why you made the mistake though.

I thought he was trying to be Elvis. It's an unusual look. A bad Elvis. Right. Terrible Elvis. So then apparently a fight broke out? Because somebody snuck in and threw a glass of champagne. Oh, a glass of

champagne. I saw that just after they'd done the vows. Champagne was thrown all over the bride. You're streaming it. You've got to have some action, some drama. This is a good idea for celebrities. They should do it. Would you watch a celebrity? Would you pay $75 or $50 to watch a

celebrity wedding? No. Even big celebrities you went into? No. What about $10? $9.95? Oh, I'd pay $10. Whose wedding would you watch?

That would be the absolute maximum I'd pay. I don't want to say because I'm ashamed. A Kardashian. Yeah. I'd watch one of the Kardashian weddings. But then you're going to see that anyway, aren't you, on an episode? Who else? I don't know.

Someone hot. Pay-per-view. Ryan Reynolds in Black Lively. I would have paid to watch theirs maybe. That'd be a funny wedding because he's hilarious. Yeah. But it would also be weird, wouldn't it? Yeah, I don't know.

I wouldn't want to. It's their special day. Yeah, but they're offering it up. Yeah, but then that makes me feel it's not so special if they're willing to offer it up. Yeah. So that's what everyone's saying.

This is just fake. Well, they've only known each other for a few months, right? Yeah. And this girl's got an MTV reality show. I've never heard of it

before. But then they go, they are swearing that they're in love and everything. But yeah, he wore like a bum bag. Get us that

blue bagger. Yeah, he does. A white suit, a white hat, a bum bag around his chest and a black umbrella. Yeah, it's really something. From the ZM Think Tank, this is the Top Six. Hello, welcome to today's Top Six. This has been rolled out around the country. The reusable containers are going to be able to be taken to Countdown.

I've been charged too much. Shut up, Dolores. You old bitch. You will not. They put your container on. They reset the scales. They press the tear button. Tar?

Tar. I don't know what that means. What happens if you do pick and mix and you take a container to do pick and mix? Very interesting. Are they not there yet? Are we not? They might have a container that's clean that they can pour it into, reset your container, then put it back. They'd have to wash that every time though.

That's a nightmare. You've got cross-contamination. Oh yeah. Lots of nuts. Yeah, lots of nuts. I wouldn't even go near the pick and mix if I had a nut allergy because people would be using that scoop. Oh yeah. that every time though that's a nightmare you got cross contamination yeah lots of nuts i don't know i wouldn't even go near the pick and mix photo nut allergy because people would be using that scoop oh yeah left right center willy canilly i'm being really getting to the glass containers like the

rubber lids they're great for like food and stuff so you could take those and they'll reset the scales it's good that they're doing this yeah Yep, it is. But question, is like months, when you get like months of meat at the supermarket in the like deli section, is that more expensive? Than the prepackaged stuff? I don't know. Could I just take a knife? Sometimes it looks like a higher quality

mince in the deli. Because you know like, when the mince gets really light, it's got too much fat in it, you kind of want a darker mince because it means more animal flesh. Slice open the container, the plastic container, pour it into my container, and then take the barcode and just leave the packaging there. Well, technically the packaging's still being used there,

so you've not actually saved any. Oh, yeah, true. Yeah, so no. So the top six containers they probably won't accept at Countdown. Here's another issue. Okay. They're saying they will wash out your container. They shouldn't do that.

Are they saying that? I'm pretty sure I read that staff will take your container and wash it. I'm not waiting at the deli for four people to have their containers washed. You're inconsiderate, sandwich. But I think they can't do it without washing it because they don't want to be giving you manky... Right. You know, there's an issue there.

Making sure that your container's clean. Because otherwise they can get in trouble. There's so much waiting. They can get in trouble for making you sick, whereas it could have been your container. Yeah, because you're grim. Whereas if they wash it and disinfect it, then it's clean and they're good.

They're going to have to hire someone to work the hot wash. Oh, it's not. I'm sure they'll hire an extra four people for the deli. They love overstaffing the deli. Yeah. So I mean, someone's slicing ham and you're like, ding! Be with you in a minute. Yep.

It's all right. It's okay. How long is a minute? So the top six containers, they probably won't accept a countdown. Number six, an actual shipping container. Sir, I don't care that that's reusable. I can't get it on the scales in the deli. It's 40 foot long and 10 foot tall.

I can't. I just, they in the deli. It's 40 foot long and 10 foot tall. I can't. They don't go that high. Get it up there and push tip. No, you can't because half of it's on the counter. It's not weighing the whole thing. Number five on the list of the top six containers they probably won't accept a countdown. A empty Sunrise Table Spread container.

Remember Sunrise Table Spread? You might not. So I've pulled up a picture on Google Images. countdown, an empty sunrise table spread container. Remember sunrise table spread? You might not, so I've pulled up a picture on Google Images. Shazam! Oh, with the sunflower on the front. Yeah, it's the 1990s favourite margarine of mothers everywhere. Miscellaneous spread. Yeah, well, that's the thing. It doesn't even have margarine written on it.

Sunrise table spread, and it's made to look like the sunflowers, the rising sun. Right. Because that's healthy. We made it out the sunflowers, the rising sun. Right. Because that's healthy. We made it out of sunflowers and a whole bunch of chemicals but they're very hard to draw. And the reason being

not because it's a reusable container but I remember how unsturdy these things were. Oh yeah. That even break like if you were washing them out because we kept our recycling in the garage.

Well, we just used to burn all of our plastics, but then that became frowned upon. We used to keep all our recycling in the garage, so mum had to wash everything up because she wouldn't take it for like three weeks. And you'd have rats, ants, all sorts. But I remember even sometimes they'd break during a wash.

So I don't want anyone to take in that thin rubbish, thinking it's going to be a sturdy container. Yeah. Capable of holding coleslaw and there's a crack at the bottom and you get the coleslaw dribbles. No, I don't want that for you.

You're better than that. You're better than that. Number five on the list of the, number four, sorry, on the top six containers they probably won't accept at Countdown, the leaky lid systema.

That's okay if you stand it up, right? But if you tip it over, oh, deli juice all through your bag. And I think they'll become a real trained eye at spotting those at the deli. They'll be able to spot them from five foot. They'll be like, sir, that's leaky.

I wouldn't put any liquid in that. That's for ham. That's a ham container now, sir. That's a dry goods container, sir. I wouldn't put any liquid in it. It's your loss, sir. Your loss. Yep goods container, sir. I wouldn't put any liquid in it. It's your loss, sir. Your loss. Yep, sure.

No, I'll put coleslaw in it. Yep, nah. All three bags, sir. Thought so. Don't listen to me. I'm just a trained professional. Number three on the list of the top six containers they probably won't accept a countdown,

the old Jimbo's dog or cat food container. Oh, I know it's been washed sweaty, but I'm not putting potato salad where horse chunks were. I wouldn't do that to you. It's not horse chunks. It's miscellaneous everythings. No, even with a good wash,

it's very greasy. The Jimbo's. Sturdy container though. Great for putting in the garage. It's a good container. Great sturdy container for nails, screws, bolts, nuts.

Yeah. But I wouldn't put your potato salad in that one. Number two on the list of the top six containers they probably won't accept at Countdown are Kite. Now nothing against the humble Harakeke Flakes Kite. Great for bread, general shopping sure, but you can't put a beetroot salad in it. No, no.

It'll go bloody everywhere. The deli's always at the start of the shop so you'll just literally have beetroot juice dripping around everywhere behind you. But you have a cute pink kitty. It's a dark green. I don't think it would work for a dried one.

But the dried one would even have more gaps for the beetroot juice to fall between. So it's not going to work. Great. And number one on the top six containers, they probably won't accept a countdown, petrol containers for milk. You can't take in like a jerry can and be like, yeah, just top it up with blue top. Thanks, mate.

Rinsed it. Yeah, you've used this for petrol. Yeah, yeah, but I rinsed it. Should be sweet as. That is today's top six. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast.

So we're going to talk about this now because it's early. So I caught up with a friend yesterday and they were telling me about their weekend. Now, I'm not going to go

into too much detail other than to say that they met up with someone from a dating app and things got heated. Yes, okay. And they, you know.

Yeah. I've got no idea how to do it. You're going to give some details though, right? Well, they hooked up. Yeah. It was at that moment. Who can do that? It was at that moment when things were, I guess, getting heated

and the clothes had come off. Yeah. Listening to you explain this is so fun. I don't know how to start. Shall I just rip the plaster off? Yeah. They were engaging in adult fun times and sexy times

and the person went and grabbed their foot and put their toes in their mouth. Yuck. And they were just like, what is happening? And freaked out and yanked the foot out of the mouth. So. And what, did they leave or did they stay?

Did it continue, but it was just not toe based? I'm just not into that. That person read the room. They read the room. They read the room. And, you know, they got on with it. Minus the toes. Yeah.

Well, they bite them off. I don't want to kink shame anyone. Well, no, I'm not kink shaming either. I just think that was a weird move to pull on a first. Yeah. Like this is your first time meeting the person and hooking up with them. But, you know, if you wait six months and then you find out that they're into it, so you can do it, that's six months wasted.

And you know. Oh, yeah, true. No, I just have a problem. You need to know where the toes have been and the hygiene of the toes. Well, do you know that that person's just had a shower? Yeah. No, they didn't, right? And if you're taking a sock off, no way.

No. You've got a clammy foot. No. You've got a clammy foot. You've got a clammy toe. Toes are just like... What would you do in that situation? I was just, obviously found this quite hilarious. What am I... I'm getting my toes sucked. How would you feel about that? I'll just ride the wave,

see what happens. I've never said no to anything. Experimental Vaughan Smith, they call him. Try it once. Yeah. And if you like it, do it again. But if you don't, then rule it out. Nah, give it another go because you might not have been in the right frame of mind.

So try it twice. Yeah, right. But I like having my toes massaged. So maybe I'd be into it. Yeah, right. Okay. But I just feel more bad for like, I'd be like,

I haven't actually cleaned those recently. Yeah. Well, how do we get out a feminine wipe and give your, or a KFC lemon scented towel and give it a wipe. Imagine you're in the middle and they grab a wet wipe

and start wiping in between your toes and then you're like, what are you doing? And then they, how do we feel about this in the producer's booth? The mood's gone. I'm not really into it, but I don't know if I could say, like, I would feel bad. I'd be like, ooh, okay, yep. Keep going.

Well, no, like I would feel too bad to, like, embarrass them. Yeah, right. You'd kill the mood, wouldn't you, if you're like, nope. Yeah. Yeah. I'd kind of just, like, flick him away a wee bit maybe or something. I don't know. Flick him away.

Like he's a fly. No, because then they might think, oh, shit. Because you know when you're like, you're getting tickled or whatever, and you're like, ugh. And you're like, pull away. They might be like, oh, yeah, this is really like. James, producer, you're very quiet on this. I've taken a tip, though.

Oh, right. Okay. How would you feel if somebody pulled this move in the bedroom? Yeah, no, I'd be a little bit too uncomfortable. I mean, especially if you've just taken your socks off for the day. I do have quite hairy toes as well, which I wouldn't want to... I'd just be too uncomfortable. I wouldn't be able to relax, I don't feel.

Someone's got their mouth over it. He doesn't say much. He doesn't say much, but when he much. No, no. Totally with you. No, so do you think we... No, I don't want like dirty, dirty stories. I think... Could we take some calls? Like what's the weirdest move someone's pulled in the bedroom?

Oh, but you don't want dirty ones. No, but you know what I mean? Like this is just a bit weird for some people. It's different. It's different. It's different. Different moves. It's just different, yeah. You know, not at all kink-shaming or anything.

You don't know until you try. But it's early. It's early in the show. Would there be anyone listening where you've, I don't know, been in a situation where someone's pulled a sexy, or maybe a move that someone thought was sexy. Yeah. And you're just like, oh, this is not sexy at all.

We can only ask a question. We're a conservative bunch, New Zealanders. I don't think people would really admit to. No, we're conservative, but there's the

closeted kink. Yeah, right. Okay. Involved. Well, I'll wait a hundred times. I licked an armpit.

Oh, golf star. I licked an armpit once. How did that go down? No complaints. Why? looked an armpit. Oh, golf star. I looked an armpit once. How did that go down? No complaints. Why? It was a shit was. You were in the moment.

You got lost. Traversed in the landscape and just going around places. And I was like, I'll give that a lick. And I looked at it and they were like, ooh. And I was like. Did it taste like deodorant? No, it was just post wash. So it tasted of nothing.

It was neither here nor there for me. And what was your reaction? They were like, oh, because it's tickly, obviously. Yeah, right. I've got a tongue like a cat. They're rough. They used to call me tiger tongue. Because, yeah, it's an abrasive tongue.

But you only did it once, like it's not your thing. I haven't been back. To be honest, that's the first time in 10 years I've thought about it. She probably went to her friends and said, you'll never guess what happened. His arm bit like a. His arm bit like a. I should probably call in a minute.

I'd like to think tomorrow night, 7.30, someone's going to turn on TV too and be like, that's the guy that licked my arm. Pat. Pat. So 0800 dials at M, 9696. What's a weird move? too and be like, that's the guy that licked my arm. Pat. Pat. So, 0800 dials at M, 9696. What's a weird move somebody's pulled

in the bedroom? And whether or not it was just, we don't want too much details. This is weird. I don't know how this is going. We cannot, okay, five messages and we can't read a single one of them. Oh no. But even those moves that people thought that were sexy,

that weren't? Okay. I mean, we'll come back next, and either we're not going to be able to read out any or take any calls, and we'll leave it at that, or maybe we'll see what we've got. I'll wait the $100,000. Can we use code for these texts?

I think we might have to. Weirdest moves that have been put on you in the boudoir is what we're talking about this morning. This is after a friend yesterday confided in me that during sexy times, somebody tried to suck their toes. They weren't into it. But each to their own.

And there's no kink shaming here on the show. Absolutely not. And we're putting this through a pretty sturdy filter. There's a lot we can't put on here. There's a lot. Just on the toe thing, while we're talking about it, many people have had the toe situation.

I had a friend suck somebody's toes once. Next thing they know, the hangnail cut the inside of their mouth, and then it wasn't on the toe when it came back out. Safe to say they've not revisited toe town again. Jeez. My boyfriend sucked my toes on our second date. I had no idea that I was into it. I was very much into it.

Right. And they're obviously still together. So yeah. Charlie, good morning. Morning guys. How's it going? Good, good. What was it?

Was this a weird move that you pulled in the bedroom or your girlfriend? Yeah, it was. Okay. I will remind you, Charlie, this is, despite the last 15 minutes, a family-friendly place. Yeah, I'll keep it

family-friendly, guys. No worries. Good man. Okay. So what's the move? Don't tease us. Don't tantalise us anymore. Get in there with your move.

Basically, I was, you know, just caressing my missus and started hooking up with her and then, you know, made my way around to the

earlobe and sort of licked the earlobe a little bit and she sort of giggled and liked it. So,

sort of a thing we always do now. Right. Oh, earlobe. Okay. Megan's lighting

up. Is this a classic? Charlie, if I may, ever popped a tongue in the actual air canal?

No, no, I don't like a wacky tongue. Why is that? Were you going to give him a pointer? Well, I was just going to say some people are into that. Right. Briar, what was a sexy move somebody pulled in the bedroom? Oh, okay, so I was seeing a guy who had warned, well, not warned me, but it kind of informed me about, you know, the things that he was into.

And obviously, feet was one of them. Yeah. Honestly, don't knock it before you try it. Because, I mean, there's lots of, I guess, kinks that people have. And I think toes is like the least, I don't know. There's lots of things out there. kinks that people have and I think toes are like the least I don't know. There's lots of things out there. I was into like having your like girls who had

their toes polished and thankfully I'm really like fussy about that so that like I wasn't going to be worried if he went straight to my feet. I wasn't going to be like, oh my god, I don't have my toes polished. I'm just so excited I forget to take my socks off. Like that's why I never get to that stage.

So I've just always got my little ankle socks on. Like you're a mum in the 90s going to play tennis. Hey, Bri, thanks for your call. Some other text messages. I used to have someone that liked nibbling on my face. It was weird and it would leave little hickeys on my cheeks. Oh, wow. Cheek hickeys.

He seemed to be very much into it. That's good for him. I gave my friend a scarf that I didn't use anymore. She wore it on a date and apparently the guy did a bit of a nudie dance for her as a pregame.

And before she returned the scarf to me the next day, she said she had to spend some time lint rolling and picking excessive amounts of body hair out of it. Oh, my God. I'd just write the scarf on. Yeah, I'd burn the scarf to me the next day. She said she had to spend some time lint rolling and picking excessive amounts of body hair out of the... Oh, my God. I'd just write the scarf off.

Yeah, I'd burn the scarf. Burn it. Fletch Fawn and Megan's 20 Questions. I have questions for you. All right, we're thinking of a random object. And you've just got to figure it out in 20 questions or less. Yes, these are the questions that have been asked so far. Is it a living thing? and you've just got to figure it out in 20 questions or less. Yes. These are the questions that have been asked so far.

Is it a living thing? No. Is it found in a house? No. Is it a power tool? No. Does it have a motor? No.

Is it something you would wear? No. Is it outside? Yes. Is it outside or around your house? Yes. Those are your 20 questions close. There was quite a debate on that one yesterday.

Yeah, there was, but the answer is yes. Okay. 13 questions left. And with 13 questions remaining, Danny, how are you? Hi. All right, so you've got question 13, a yes, no question we need from you. Would you use it on your house? All right, so you've got question 13. A yes, no question we need from you. Would you use it on your house?

No. No. So, you've got to give us a guess. For $2,000. Is it a shovel? No. It's not a shovel. It's not a shovel.

And you don't use it on your house. Okay, so we're going to take two more questions and two more guesses at 8am. Flesh, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast, ZM. The Daily Mail ran a poll saying, would you microchip yourself to speed up paying with like PayWave? And 1 in 10 Londoners said that they definitely would. They'd have a microchip in their wrist so they could just be like, a quarter of them, so 25% said they'd be happy to use fingerprint scanning to verify payments.

So they put their little finger on there. Oh, it takes too long. Yeah. Fingerprinting, doesn't it? Never reads it properly. No, it's pretty good on phones. Yeah, on your phone. You're just like...

No, mine, I had a bad experience. My phone didn't like my thumb. What's wrong with your thumb? I don't know. Yeah, that's not on your phone. Do you not use your finger to open it? No, face. Oh, yeah, use your face.

Face ID. Why can't we use face ID on things? Well, the thing is, if you're going to pay for your, like now you can just, I can Apple Pay. Just double tap my phone, hold it on. And you've always got your phone on you. And a lot of metros around the world, you just use your phone as well to tap on.

Metrosexuals. Metrosexuals. Tap on, tap on, tap off. On the metro systems. Right. Yeah. So, I mean, but then, I mean, that's getting it out of your pocket. You could literally just put your wrist onto the machine.

Yeah. Tap on and off. And then you definitely always got it with you. Because there was another story about hotels are going to be doing away with the plastic cards. And you'll have an app on your phone and you just open it and it opens the door of the hotel room. But then that could be the same thing. Like that chip, you could also load up with that, right? Or when you check into a hotel, you could put your arm over that thing

and they always swipe the car. When you've got all these swipes for things, like you work swipe to get in the doors. I've got one for the apartment where I live. Are they all, could you just have one swipey thing and then load different frequencies or access onto those? I don. Yeah. Are they all, could you just have one swipey thing and then load different frequencies or access onto those? I don't know. Because obviously not

because we all have to have a different one, don't we? No, but that's why you have the chip in your arm. Yeah, but what are you going to have to put 10 in there? No, one chip and you load all the data on the one chip. Well, that's what I'm asking, Megan, if that's possible. I thought you meant a swipe card. Yeah.

Surely. I don't know, figure it out. I mean, hold on this getting back to the moon thing and get it so I can have one card that can swipe me in for all of my life. But then you could put your ID on it, so when someone's like you got an ID, you're like, boop. And then when someone's like, have you got proof of address,

you could just be like, boop. Boop, yep. What else do they need from me? Well, we ran a poll on our Instagram and 24% of people said sign me up. Really? We said, would you microchip your wrist to avoid carrying cards? 24% of people said sign me up. 76% said, no tanks.

Is it just the thought that it would be in something getting, because when they microchip your pet, it's an injection, isn't it? They plop it in. Have you seen that? Yeah, yeah., it's an injection, isn't it? They plop it in. Have you seen that? Yeah, yeah. See, that's the thing. Plop it in. You want to know

that it's safe. It's not going to make you sick or give you cancer or anything. But your pets have microchips in them. And they're fine,

aren't they? Yeah, they're fine. Yeah, but they only live to like 18 years old. But that's just because they do. What if it's at 25 when the microchip starts to really oh right like what if they've like um you'd go to scan something and it's like

oh your microchip's not working and you find out it's like moved and like gone into your chest or something yeah i mean you're struggling to get people to immunize their children against diseases i don't know if anybody's going to be like lining up to get microchips. I mean, it's like an update on your phone. You wait till other people have done it for a little bit, worked out the bugs, and then you get it. You're never the first one to jump into it. Isn't it freaky though? That's kind of the way the world's like black mirror.

It's going that kind of freaky, creepy way. Yeah, and then what else is it telling people? It would be like they'd know exactly where you were. You walk into a shop. It could be like scan you'd know exactly where you were. You walk into a shop, it could be like, scan you in, how long were you in there on the way back out.

And then they've got all kinds of data about you. They know how long I'm in a supermarket for. Like, I don't care. Someone could stand at the door and time me if they wanted that information. I mean, that would be labour intensive. You go in and someone clicks one of those little sheep counters

and they're like, click. And they're like, Megan, 12 o'clock. Oh, there comes Megan. Click. Megan. 12.20. This is interesting data. But they know all this data anyway when you're swiping your loyalty cards.

Yeah, exactly. They don't care. They don't know what you're buying. No. They don't know how long you've been in there. I mean, I don't know what all this is. This is metadata. People freak out about metadata, don't they?

Like, you have the mass data so you can start predicting. Well, apparently that new, I haven't seen it yet, the Netflix documentary about the whole Facebook scandal. Right. And the Cambridge Analytica. Apparently that's a good watch. Right. And it's also a bit freaky.

It's all about data and stuff. Maybe I should watch that because I'm a bit loose with the microtripping. I'm like, get it in me. I need everything to be easy. Yeah. You don't have anything to hide at the moment. No. What have you got to hide?

Not much. More just the fact of how boring I am. Like how boring? This is why. This is why. This is why. Well, if you needed a reason to go to fielding,

I might have it. Okay. This is a fielding invention combining two of New Zealanders' favourite snacks. A meat pie and a cheeseburger. Oh, okay. Yeah, this is the brainchild of Derek McNabb at the Rose Bowl Cafe. He created a cheeseburger pie. It's got two Angus beef patties,

pickles, onions, mustard, two types of cheese, all inside your classic pie. Oh, okay. Yes, so it took him somebody asked him how long it took him to come up with this. He said less than 30 minutes. I just

thought about cheeseburger, I like them, and then I just thought about cheeseburger. I like them. And then I just thought about pie. I like them. And that's about how long it took. I'm surprised it took 30 minutes. Yeah. So there's a cross section of the pie.

Derek's holding it. My only thing is a meat patty doesn't look appealing in a cross section inside a pie. It looks very dry. Because that's the only thing that stops me enjoying a bacon and egg pie more than I should. They're always quite a dry pie. It does have like a gravy saucy situation. Yeah, the cheese might add a bit to it, but it does look dry. So there's no mince.

It's literally, there's nothing around. There's no bread in there. Well, no, the bread's the pie. No, but I imagine there's burger buns in this. No. No. Oh, okay. I would have thought.

That would be a hamburger in a pie. Can you describe the cross section, Megan? Because I immediately thought, well, he's just jammed a cheeseburger in a pie casing

and put mince around it. So it's got burger patties, two of them, like just dry in there. Then it's got like cheese, which is melted, obviously. But it's not. There's a couple of rug pickles in the mix.

I don't know how a hot pickle goes. Tomato sauce. But there's a lot of air around that as well. That could be mince. Why couldn't that be, like, more of a cheesy sauce? Like, fill it up with cheesy sauce or, yeah, like a mincey situation. I mean, we just. But then you've got meat on meat.

But then that's not a bad thing, is it? I was thinking, like, the mince instead of the burger patties. Yeah, right. No, because then it's just a mince and cheese pie. Oh, yeah, okay. This is what makes it a cheeseburger pie is that it's patties. But can we put pickles in our mince and cheese pies then? Because that'd be yum.

I don't know how I feel about a hot pickle. I'm a cold pickle guy. Do you eat cheeseburgers? Yeah, but they're never like hot. They're never like sat right on the floor. They're warm, aren't they? They're like a warm room temperature pickle. At most.

At most. Right. I'm a cold pickle sort of situation. But apparently no complaints. They've become a permanent fixture on the Rose Bowl Bakery. Are they flying off the shelf? Well, there's a picture of them. Yeah, 3, 6, 9, 12, 15.

Is it 18 after 15? 18 if you're doing like ups and, 6, 9, 12, 15. Is it 18 after 15? 18 if you're doing ups and threes. 15, 16, 17, 18. He's made 18 pies in this batch. All right, Rayman. I'm just going to find out where this is. They'll be banning you from casinos if you keep this up. Oh, my God.

She times six by three. It was a bloody. You know I can't do the times tables. You should have heard her working it out. All right. I'm just going to find where in Fielding this is. God, Fielding's a big place. The Rose Bowl Cafe.

Yep. It's on Kim Bolton Road. Oh, you need like physical address. It actually doesn't even have a 62. 62 Kim Bolton. Chuck that in the sat nav or the Google Maps. Yep. And get on down there.

Unpaid endorsement. That might be rubbish. I don't know. We don't know, but apparently people are really liking them. 4.3 stars on Google reviews. That's pretty good.

That's up to 239. But is that for the cafe, not the actual pie? No, that's not for the pie. And you know they're a legit cafe because they've got one of those statues out the front

that's like a fat chef holding a sign and they can change what it says on the sign. I don't know front that's like a fat chef holding a sign, and they can change what it says on the sign. I don't know if that's still there. It's a classic. Oh, that was August 2015. That might be gone now. Knowing Fielding, they've probably ruined that.

Some drunken larrikins probably thrown it in the creek. Well, if any Fielding listeners can recommend or give us a rating for that cheeseburger pie, do let us know. This is why I'm fat. This is why I'm fat. This is why, this is why, this is why I. Fat. This is why. Fat. This is why.

This is why. This is why. Fat. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. This is good for two reasons. I love the story of an old battler. You don't even need to be that old to be an old battler. It's just where you won't give up on something.

That's what you call an old battler. Yeah, yeah. Where they won't give up. Like old mate. You don't even need to be that old to be an old mate. Like an old battler is where you're just getting stuck in and you don't give up on something like a dog with a bone. And it also touches on the fact about chorus's fine work on installing any sort of cabling.

This is chorus. Well, they drilled a hole in your neighbour's house, didn't they? Yeah, they did. They did at our last place when we were getting fibre installed. I said, oh, yeah, it's the place with all the builders. They came around and they started drilling a hole in the neighbour's house and there's no builders there. Whereas our house, which was visible from where the hole was being drilled,

covered in builders. Covered in builders, yeah. Like ants on an ice block. It was covered in builders, but no, they drilled a hole. And there's some fantastic, there's a Facebook page, I think, called something about chorus installs. And I just saw a post on that last week again that attached the cable to a gate and across the gate and then again on the other side,

making it impossible to open said gate. Oh, of course. Because the cable was nailed to the gate and across the gate and then again on the other side, making it impossible to open said gate. Oh, of course. Because the cable was nailed to the gate. Now, it's not a fibre install that got Christine angry. Christine's an Auckland woman. And she said two years ago a telephone pole just popped up. Okay. In the middle of her hedge.

Yep. Which looks like a lovely, almost like a Fijoa hedge, which I know Fijoa's do make great hedges. Oh, I didn't know that Fijoa's can make hedges. So she, and there's a gap in the hedge where this telephone pole was erected two years ago. Apparently came home and it was erected and she said, well, that's not right. And sent off, well, apparently first made a call.

Yeah. And they said, oh, we'll have to put somebody in touch with you. And then it was soon after that that they admitted, you know, we've actually put that in the wrong place. So they weren't even using it. Were there no wires on it? No, no, no, there's wires on it. Oh, yeah.

They've put it on private property without any inquiries. Yeah, right. And at a time when it should have gone underground versus having a big old pole. Yeah, because I thought we'd move past telephone poles. I thought we were all putting everything underground. Putting it underground or doubling it on the power lines, right? Yeah. So they admitted that they'd made a mistake two years ago,

and it's still been ongoing. She said dozens of emails, tedious hours on the phone. It's been an awful saga and ongoing apparently is due to be solved this week. Are they going to take it down? Apparently and look at an underground option. But one of the things she was most upset about was the mess they made of her lawn when they dragged the pole up the lawn.

So she's not going to like it when they go underground. Famously dig one of those ugly trenches. And then just haphazardly scatter some grass seed. Probably the wrong different sort of grass as well. God, I just worry about what I'd do in that situation. I'd be like that old mate that grabbed

that steamroller at the weekend if I was getting sick of it. You would be. So would you though, Mort. I'd just chop it down. I've be like that old mate that grabbed that steamroller at the weekend if I was getting sick of it. You would be. I'd be like, so would you though, Vaughn. I'd just chop it down. I've actually been looking for rollers on Trade Me for a decent price just to have that in the shed ready. Right. When they come tearing up your road. Yep. I'd do something I'd do. I'd just

get so wound up about this telephone pole in my front hedge that had popped up. I'd just, I'd be like, her, I wouldn't let it go. I would probably have. But then, I don't know, but then you get fast Netflix. So, yeah. It doesn't look fast.

It looks like one of those thick old black cables that Nana's house always had when you were growing up. You know, the chain link fence and the pipes and the pipe fence and then the big thick line that came in with the telephone, the old copper cable. Yeah, right. But I'd just like to know when you fought the system this morning, when you got old Battler on it,

and you just stuck to your guns, and what did you get changed? And maybe it took, like, this lady two years. Oh, my God. And maybe it was something as stupid as a pole put in the wrong place. Yeah. We are a nation of system fighters. I know that's why like the movie

The Castle, you know the Australian movie The Castle? Yeah. That's why I think that's struck so many New Zealanders and why New Zealanders

love that film as much as Aussies. Like just that old battler attitude of no, no, no, no. We're not rolling over. We're not over that. Yeah.

Yeah. Okay, well 0800 dance at M. Give us a call. You can text 9696. When did you fight the system? Or know an old battler that did? We're not over that. Yeah. Okay, well 0800 dance at M. Give us a call. You can text 9696. When did you fight the system? Or know an old

battler that did? We're talking about old battlers fighting a good fight. Maybe the smaller the fight the better a lot of the time. Like just time

invested in fighting something that's a slight, you know, problem. That's what I'm all about. Yeah. Spending way too

much time on something to get something changed back. Some text messages in. The East Tamaki off-ramp motorway sign had shotgun shots on it. Oh, gosh. Every now and then you see a road sign with a whole bunch of shotgun pellets in it. If you don't know what it looks like, it's like a scattering of all tiny dents.

Yeah. I was like, what happened here? Like someone's out the window firing it. Was that someone walking down the side of the road or was that out there? Anyway, the East Tamaki off-ramp motorway sign has shotgun shots on it. And one day my husband noticed that and for some reason it really bothered him. He didn't like it. Let it go.

He started emailing Auckland Transport about getting it replaced. And they were like, it still works, obviously. I know, but I would imagine a sign like that would cost lots of money. Well, they're huge. How much is a big sign like that? $1,000? Oh, I don't know. Well, your dad's a sign writer.

No, he erects signs, but he wouldn't do the road signs. No, he doesn't do road signs. That's transit New Zealand, isn't it? He'd be able to chuck an estimate, though. But then also, it's kind of got glow in the darky. What do you call it? Yeah, it does. The reflective stuff on it.

Yeah, they'd be real expensive. More spinnies. So every time there was an, and he would have a Google News alert set up for any time there was any sort of gun related story out of South Auckland, he would send it to Auckland Transport and say, they see the shotgun marks and they're like, it must be okay here. Oh, the broken windows theory.

Then once you see somebody's done it, you're more comfortable doing with it and how these gunshots on display set a very bad image. I imagine they were on their way to the city in the car, these criminals and they're on the motorway ramp and they see the sign, they're like, let's turn back and get our shotgun.

Yeah, that's exactly what happened. Well, they've changed it. They see the sign, they're like, let's turn back and get our shotgun. Yeah, that's the thought process. Yeah, yeah, right. That's exactly what happened. That's what they're saying. Yeah. Well, they've changed it. They changed the sign. And there's been zero gun-related incidents in South Auckland since. The very last part was a lie.

Yeah. Oh, good on them, though. But, oh, thanks for spending our taxpayer and ratepayer money on a sign that didn't need to be changed. No, but it did. It had holes in it. Did it? Party them up. And it really annoyed her husband.

Somebody else said their dad's a farmer and they recently extended the road, widened the road, which meant they had to take down dad's fence and the deal is they build you a new fence. Except they replaced one of his wooden gates with a steel gate. And he's like, where's my bloody wooden gate gone?

And no one had any answers. He chased that gate for two years. And in the end, they were just like, Christ, and bought him a wooden gate. Oh my God. Just to shut him up. And ring them every time he had a down moment. And ring them and be like, yeah, g'day.

You guys have that bloody wooden gate yet, you fellas? They're like, I hope we got to keep the steel gate as well. When they replaced it, the wooden gate is like, where's my bloody steel gate gone? Shauna, somebody was fighting the system at your work? So I used to work at a fish and chip shop and they had like an overhaul of the menu

and changed the $5 pack. So they used to, I can't even remember what was in them, but one of the old guys was not having a bar of the new $5 pack because they were grey. And he was like, no, I want my old $5 pack.

And they were like, oh no, we don't offer that anymore. No, I want my old $5 pack. And so now for the last 10 years, I've got the $5 pack and now, I want my own $5 pack. So now for the last 10 years, I've got the $5 pack and now I've got the Ray $5 pack. So he's got his own $5 pack named after him. Yeah, so they like brought it back to the menu

and named it after him. That's more than he could have hoped for because now there's a tribute to him as well as he gets his $5 pack. Yeah, exactly. So he's a tribute to him as well as he gets his $5 pack. Yeah, exactly. So he's a legend now. But was Ray not moving with the times? Did it change because prices had to go up?

Yeah, well, it changed. But yeah, they replaced a hot dog with a crab stick or something. He was like, no. Ray's like, no. Not into it. See, I'd rather have the crab. I wouldn't get the Ray pack. I'd get the crab stick because I love the crab sticks.

Shauna, thanks for your call. Next on the show, your chance to win $2,000 with 20 questions. We've got 12 questions remaining. We're going to take two guesses. And Megan's dad has really stepped up to help the show. And Nelson, we need to talk about this. It's not her mum. Her mum was hitting native birds yesterday.

Send that to the group chat. She's got a photo of her trying to kick a wicker. No, she wasn't kicking it. She had a stick. Are they endangered? Are they protected? She had a stick. Well, not according to who. They're a pain in the ass.

All right, New Zealand, your chance to win cash, $2,000. There are 12 questions left. All up, you've got 20 questions to try and figure out what this mystery object is. Otherwise, the cash jackpots. And we'll do $4,000 next time. So, these are the questions that have asked so far. Is it a living thing?

No. Is it found in a house? No. Is it a living thing? No. Is it found in a house? No. Is it a power tool? No. Does it have a motor? No. Is it something you would wear?

No. Is it outside? Yes. Yes, it is. Is it outside around your house? Yes. It could be. It is.

It's just yes. Would you use it on your house? No. Those are the questions so far. Right, you can see the guesses that have been made. Keep up to date, ZM Online and our Instagram as well in the story highlights, FVMZM. 12 questions left.

April, good morning. Morning. All right, 12 questions left. This isn't April or Amita, is it? No. You're the April you know. Just haven't All right, 12 questions left. This is an April or a me or is it? No. The only April you know. Just haven't heard from her for a while. Just checking in.

Wish there was kind of. Right, April. We need a yes, no question from you. Okay, right. Is it bright orange? Is it bright orange? It's very specific. I kind of, yeah.

Okay. No. Okay. All right, so it's not a road cone. Hasn't someone guessed that or was that last? I know it was definitely guessed last time. Yeah, no, is it a road cone? It was already guessed. Okay, so it's not a road cone. Last. Yeah, no, is it a road cone? It was already guessed.

Okay, so it's not a road cone. Last Friday, somebody guessed, is it a road cone? Oh, I feel like a lolly. Okay, you feel like a lolly. Well, that's okay. You can have one later. Is it 81? Wait, is that your guess, April? That was my guess, yes.

No, but you still get a guess. You just have to quickly change it to something else. It's something that's not bright orange. I'm absolutely nervous, but is it a mailbox? Is it a mailbox for $2,000 cash? It's not. I can't imagine if it was, though. All signs are pointing

to you you haven't known anything You're like That was on the fly That was a good guess though Yeah not a bad guess I love that she was thinking orange lolly

It could be outside the house It's brilliant I love it Alright No she didn't She wasn't thinking lolly She felt like a lolly She felt stupid

She felt like a ninny She used the lolly as an insult upon herself She didn't think it was an orange lolly I was like that's so weird she thought that was an orange lolly as an insult upon herself. She didn't think it was an orange lolly. I was like, that's so weird. She thought that was an orange lolly outside the house. She was just using...

Right. Harry, good morning. Hi. How old are you, Harry? I am 10. 10. So if you won $2,000, what would you do with the money? I'd buy a PlayStation 4.

Yeah. Good investment. Good choice. Harry, well, you invest in that, you start playing Fortnite, you two could win the world champ, win like $3 million one day. So it's an investment. All right, Harry, there are 11 questions. 11 questions left.

So first up, Harry, you get a yes, no. We can only answer this one with yes or no. So, what is your question? Can it be made out of wood? Ooh. Good question, but the answer is no. It cannot be made out of wood. So, for $2,000, Harry, what do you think it is?

This mystery object. Is it a kid's playhouse? It is not a kid's playhouse. No. Sorry, Harry. I guess you're going to have to do a paper run or something to buy that PlayStation. Or just start taking money out of mum's wallet in like a dollar at a time.

No. No, don't do that. The key to being a good criminal, Harry, is not to extend yourself early in the game. No. Know your limits. And then, you know, in a year you'll have enough to buy a PlayStation. Yeah. Stop it, you two.

Or at least go halves with mum. Harry's a good boy. He knows better than me. Mum, I've've got this money. Let's go halves. It's your money anyway. Surprise. Chat-chango. I sure hope this pre-recorded laughing isn't after something inappropriate to laugh at, but I just want to take a moment to say thanks to

Spark for sponsoring the Fletch, Vaughan and Megan podcast. You can grab Spark's $29 prepaid rollover packs and get stacks of extra value. Back to the podcast. Dad's real invested in my job. Well, he's proud of you. That's good.

Yeah, and he's the guy that drives a silver van around blasting ZM and Nelson and gets told to turn it down all the time. So apologies for that. But he likes to promote. It's a great promotion for us, It's pretty cute to be honest. Isn't it pretty cute? Yeah. He's our hardest working non-paid employee in Nelson. Yeah.

Pretty much. Yeah. So when I got an email from Dad, it's his self-promo. I was like, oh. What's happening here? Because bear in mind at this stage, Megan's dad is a sign writer. Yeah.

Self-promo. And there's an attachment. So I was like, oh, God. What's he done? He said, Megs, if you get the advertising department to get a new skin made to replace that Harareki sign. Harareki. That's Harareki. Harareki. That's been up in Nelson for bloody years.

We'll install it for free. up in Nelson for bloody years. We'll install it for free. So they come in with a great offer. So he's even taken a photo in case they weren't sure what he was referring to. He took a photo of the Haraki sign. Five or six years ago and none of them work on that station anymore. And it's just still up on the building. Yeah. We've complained about this before.

Nothing gets done. We have. Nothing gets done. So I don't really say much. I just forward it on to people thinking that eyes would roll. The squeaky wheel doesn't get heard sometimes. Gets the grease. Yeah.

So yeah, Dad's offering to not pay for getting a sign made. God no. But he said if they get one made, he'll install it for free because it's quite big. Because that's what he does. That's what he does. Yeah, right. That's what he does.

This is great from him, though. It is. He's done well. Stepping up. Again, not being paid. Yeah. Not being paid, but he's promoting us and Nelson.

So we thought we'd get Dad on this morning. I don't know what he's going to say. Good morning, Dad. Good morning, ladies. How you going? Good morning, guys. Good morning, Megs. How are you going? Good morning, guys. Good morning. Morning.

Are you regretting offering up your services now that they've actually said yes? Yeah, a little bit. I had a look at the sign and the backing where it's going on is all pretty rotten. So it's going to be a bit of a miss in this one. But anyway. It's been up for years, hey.

I think Blackie's still on it. Is that that old? Oh, my God. So embarrassing. Vintage Hauraki reference. Yeah. Wow, okay. So, do you know, I don't know if we should be asking, like,

how much it's going to actually, how much would someone, you charge someone to, like, put that up, usually? Usually? Oh, depending on who I'm working for. But, yeah, no. No, no, probably $200 or $300. Oh, OK. Oh, that's not much.

I was going to say a few thousand. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're under charge. I might run into this one. Yeah, that's true. No, no, no. It's in a busy little intersection. Actually, Fletcher would know where it is because the place is his old building, the old Fletcher house.

Yeah. I know the sign well. And last time we were in Nelson, we said, oh, that's an old billboard. Ah. But Dad also said he would only change the sign if they put our faces up on there. Oh, you demanded that, did you? Yeah. Oh, hell yeah. You've got to have the funny,

the smiley faces up there. You know, it's a bit of a, it's a busy little intersection. Just needs a bit of cheering up. Oh, Jack, you're so cute. It's a bit of cheering up. So obviously when I pull up to an intersection,

I'm like, this isn't happy enough. This isn't cheering up. I'm not happy at this intersection. God, I'd love a 12 foot tall bald man staring This isn't cheering up. I'm not happy at this intersection. God, I'd love a 12-foot-tall bald man staring at me right now. Well, why not two? Yeah.

Have you been told off recently for playing ZM2 loud in your van? Yeah, well, we're working at fuel stations a little bit lately, and, yeah, it's a bit of competition with their music. They come over and... Oh, really? of, it's a bit of competition with their music. They come over, yeah, over to... Oh, really? Yeah. Don't back down. Yeah.

Tone it down a bit, yeah, sort of. Yeah. You can't judge a man by, you know, you might be having Taylor Swift blasting loudly some Shawn Mendes, but you love it, don't you? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. You get used to this old boring mood,

you know, it's a bit, yeah, you? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. You see this old boring mood, you know, it's a bit yeah, it's a bit quiet. Yeah, right. Love it. Oh, well, Dad, thank you for finally changing that sign for us. I don't actually know if they would have put us up there, but Dad's made some demands. He's made some demands. Well, if they want it free...

We've got all the sizes, just got to pass it on now and, yep, they'll get it into production and, yeah, we'll have something nice and I'll send you some photos. Dad will be driving the Black Thunders down there soon. Yeah, I reckon we'll just give him one. Just give him one. We'll just put some stickers.

Well, could you, Reggie, you could probably make some stickers and put them on your van, just get some ZM Black Thunders. We'll send you the high-res image. It's going to look a bit dodgy if your dad's outside, you know, the Nelson girls are handing out some free stickers, isn't it? I hadn't thought that far down the road. You're right, actually. You've got to be careful with these things.

Awesome. All right, well, thanks for that. Not a problem. We'll send you some photos. I just keep looking at it. All right. Well, thanks for that. Not a problem. Don't hit yourself. We'll send you some photos. No problem. I just keep looking at it. All right.

Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Today's fact of the day is about Ian Fleming. Do you know who Ian Fleming is? The guy that invented James Bond. Newsley Buzz the Day is about Ian Fleming. Do you know who Ian Fleming is? The guy that invented James Bond. Muesli bars. You got it. Fleming's. Oh my God, Fleming's muesli bars.

Are they still around? God, I remember them being as dry as anything when you were a kid, but you'd still be like, man, I have a Fleming's muesli mash. Oh, I seriously thought that's who he was. Yeah, they're still a thing. Are they? Fleming's chewy muesli.

They were as chewy as hell. I loved them. Yeah, because they had full-bl's Chewy Muesli. They were as chewy as hell. I love them. Yeah, because they had full-blown chocolate chips on the top. They do an apricot choc chip. Yeah, we were never. Oh, yum. Berry smoothie or a choc chip or a very berry. But yeah, very dry.

We always found ripped off. They weren't dry. They were. They were very dry. They were not. They were very dry. What do you want, milk in it? They were like a one square meal.

Have you eaten one of those lately? Oh, they're horrible. It's a muesli bar. We don't need a gallon of water. What do you want? Milk in it? They were like a one square meal. Have you eaten one of those lately? Oh, they're horrible. It's a muesli bar. We don't need a gallon of water. What do you want? You can't have liquid in it. Nah, but it can be like gooey. See, no, there are hard ones.

I think these ones are a bit softer from memory. They are soft. I haven't had one since I was a kid. They're dry though. They're chewy and they bend. Oh, shut up. I can't believe they still make them. But you always felt ripped off if you got one and it wasn't the chocolate chip one. Yeah, you did. Oh, shut up. I can't believe they still make them. But you always felt ripped off if you got one

and it wasn't the chocolate chip one. Yeah, you did. Or you'd open it at the same time. I'm glad my kids haven't started doing this and I'm going to do everything to stop them. But if my brother and I got something, like a muesli bar, we'd open it at the same time

and sit down next to each other and be like, how many chocolate chips has yours got? One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine. Man! I need a chocolate chip out of the cupboard because Phillips has got ten and mine's only got nine. I'm not getting the chocolate chips out for that.

Man! That is something my brother and I would have done. What was wrong with us? But it's kind of sweet that that's all you had to worry about in the world. 100%. Because Phillips had one more chocolateoccy chip than you. Like, how did my mother not smack us more? Yeah.

Like, dad out about it. But he'd be down the shed or he'd be doing something on the farm and it'd be like, And, ma'am, we've weighed our apples. Philip's apples, 10 grams heavier than mine. I want five grams sliced off his, not the skin, ma'am. Like, everything had to be equal. Yeah. But I think my mom made that her own problem because at Christmas,

she'd ask you what you wanted for Christmas, and it had to add up to the dime of what everybody else's was. Like, my mom was all about, but, like, just don't tell kids prices of things. Yeah. That's true. No. Or tell them the retail price, not the half price special. Not the special. Yeah, like, don't tell kids prices of things They don't know Or tell them the retail price Not the half price special

Not the special Yeah like don't But she'd make sure everything had to be fair So then we took it upon ourselves To police that to the most minute level Philips water pistols back at the mine Oh no you wouldn't She'd get us the same

Oh okay Super Soaker 500 She'd get us the same clothes Just that mine were always green And his were always blue Oh please That was our favourite colours Because there would be no arguments about it. Yeah, right.

Ma'am, Philip's jersey's warmer than mine. I've tested it using scientific methods. Oh, for God's sake, wear a skivvy underneath. And Philip would be like, who gets to wear a skivvy? Ma'am, Philip wants a skivvy too. Oh, my God. I know. How did our parents do it, eh?

We were talking about Ian Fleming, the guy that wrote James Bond. Not the muesli bars. Not the muesli bar inventor that took us down that wonderful path that we've just taken you all on. So Ian Fleming, the fact about Ian Fleming. Well, I wanted to do a fact about how much he loved to drink. Okay. He used to love gin.

He'd drink a bottle of gin a day. Wowzers. Wow. Yeah, and when he went to the doctor and they said, oh, all this drinking is affecting your health, you might want to switch to a healthier drink known as bourbon. And he was like, I'll give that a go, but he'd never really got into it.

He loved a gin. I thought like the white spirits were healthier than the dark ones. Than the dark spirits. Well, when was he alive? He died a long time ago. So, you know, it was probably like, knock off that gin, Ian. You want to get yourself a bourbon and a pack of cigarettes. Smoke those cigarettes.

They're better for you than pudding. But when I was looking into how much gin he drank, I actually came across a better story for today's Fact of the Day about Ian Fleming and his penchant for penchant? Penchant? Penchant? His love of drinking. His love of gin.

He once threw an octopus at a mistress to get her out of his house. Where did the octopus come from? We don't know. From his secret evil villain, Lao. Tang? His Lao. He actually had a tank, but maybe he did have a tank. In the side of a mountain.

Yeah, because he was quite a wealthy man. Yeah. And apparently had quite the appetite for mistresses. Right. And I guess back in those days you couldn't just call an Uber so they got the subtle hint. No, you would throw an octopus at them apparently. Can you try that next time, please?

He did this with a skin full of gin. Oh, right, okay. That's when he threw the octopus at an unwanted mistress. And there were no word if the octopus was alive or dead. Yeah, right. The octopus details are very vague. The poor octopus too. I hope it was already. The poor octopus too.

I hope it was already deceased. Because they're very smart. For natural purposes. Octopi. Yeah. No, what did we learn was the correct plural for octopuses? That's it? It is octopuses.

Is it? It's not octopi. Okay. That would be wrong. I learned that from a cephalopod-ologist. Of course you did. That you were hanging out with. No, I listened to a podcast all about cephalopods. Oh my. That you were hanging out with. No, I listened to a podcast all about cephalopods.

Oh my God, of course you did. And it was truly fascinating. But octopuses is the correct term. That's terrifying though because those little suckers. Yeah, like it's coming through the air. Eight arms are flying. Imagine if one got on your face

with the suckers. I'm like, man, Philip's octopus is bigger than my octopus. It's stuck to his face so You're the suckers. I'm like, man, Philip's octopus is bigger than my octopus. It stuck to his face so well he can't breathe. It went when it does there. For God's sake, I got you a green octopus and I got him a blue octopus.

They look exactly the same. They cost the same amount of money. But, God, he's dead now. I want to be dead. This is so unfair. So today's fact of the day is to dismiss an unwanted mistress. The author of James Bond once threw an octopus at her. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Someone has pointed out that my brother and I,

it's pretty much the gingerbread man and Pinocchio of Shrek arguing about something. Pretty much, Freddie, but that's what we sounded like. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, pretty much. But that's what we sounded like. Megan's Cafe, both and co, with a wonderful jingle. Can I ask, just before we delve into your good news, how did the radio jingle go that Vaughan and I made you? How was the weekend? How was business?

We were actually very busy over the weekend. We were very, very busy. Radio works. I did. The power of radio. Especially, we had a very busy day on Sunday and I had a moment where I was like, can't be that jingle. James was away on the catamaran in Fiji.

Have you even heard? Have you heard, James? Have you heard the radio jingle? No, I haven't. Should we play it one more time? It was just absolute gold, James. James, I'll switch you. No, Boxy said if we played it one more time, he was going to invoice me. No, because it played one more time. It was just absolute gold, James. James, I'll switch you. No, Boxy said if we played it one more time,

he was going to invoice me. No, because it's for James. Oh, okay. Yeah, it's... So that was Megan. Obviously, you weren't here for Megan's birthday, James. No, I wasn't. Happy birthday, Megan.

Oh, thanks, Jimmy. As our present. She wants you to say Go Daddy for her birthday. This is if you don't usually... Sometimes we'll start the day with a go daddy change got this lovely deep voice he says go daddy and we'll go go daddy's a it's it's a 16 thing kids are in the car no but is your voice warmed up or something it's in the car yeah mums will drive off the road it needs to be a little bit drier yeah yeah right so this was

a radio jingle that we made um i believe producer Catherine's just trying to find it. Is she? Yeah, she's got the number. Oh, you've got the number. Got the number. Right. Was it loaded into the ad system? Has it got a cart number?

I mean, with this bit of radio jargon you're getting here, ladies and gents, this is something of a nothing. Okay, we've got it. We've got it. So should we play this now or at the end? Play it at the end, going into whatever. Going into the end. No, but I want to come back to James' reaction.

Let's just play it now and we'll come back with Megan's good news. This is the ad, the jingle that we wrote for Megan's birthday for the cafe. Hey, you! Yeah, you over there! Hey! Do you like eggs and donutty treats? Bacon and cakes and yummy sweets? Of course you do! Yeah! And do you like coffee and mushrooms and chai and slices of chicken and yummy kai?

Yummy yum yum-o! Well then for you it's Barryford and Co. It's more than a cafe, it's the place to go! It's the best cafe! And all this weekend it's free coffee! Pending approval by the owner, she can be a bit of a bitch! Full-blown bitch! Valko to guys on board! Wanna know where it is? Google it! I don't know the address, why would I?

Buffett & Co! It's B to the E to the A U S to the O R T and the Co! Buffett and Co. It's B to the E to the A-U-S to the O-R-T and the Co. Buffett and Co. Buffett and Co. It's just out of interest. Have you looked at your Google results? No, they have to send it to me, but I have noted the day for a spike. By the way, that coffee special does not stand.

Still a badge. Do you think that's why everyone came on the weekend? I think they'd get a free coffee. James the way, that coffee special does not stand. Still a bitch. Do you think that's why everyone came on the weekend? Probably. James, feedback on that jingle? The radio jingle? Wow.

Yeah. A lot of information in there. A lot to take in. Catchy though. Very catchy. Thank you. Very catchy.

It doesn't get better with listens. No, because it's already pretty good. I might have to have another listen, but I like it. I think it's really got potential. Well, I reckon we probably got you a few customers over the weekend. You probably did, actually. But do you want to know my good news?

Yes. Have you ever had 100% in your life on any exams or anything? No, I got like 98.9% once. Did you? Jeez, what on? Journalism. But then I got a two. Remember when they used to give you numbers?

Oh, yeah. Yeah. I got a one in English. That's like I got 98.9% or whatever and I got a two. I was like, this system is not good. I did pretty well on the blood test once. 100% clean. and I got a 2. I was like, this system is not good. I did pretty well on a blood test once. 100% clean. I didn't have anything.

Okay, well that's 100%. Thanks. I'll take it. So, the council came and visited. We got 100% and we have an A rating.

Yeah! You know how you see with the sparkly number letter. come and eat there and feel safe that we're not going to poison you. You won't get dysentery. Yeah. Dysentery. That's what I always... Yeah, yeah. With the sparkly number, letter. So you can come and eat there and feel safe that we're not going to poison you. You won't get dysentery.

Yeah. Dysentery. That's what I always. Yeah, that's what you worry about. That's me. When I leave a restaurant, I'm like, am I going to get dysentery? And then I don't. I'm like, it's an A from me.

Yeah. If I don't get dysentery. Sometimes though, you eat so much, you're like, oh, I hope I get dysentery. Yeah. That is good news because behind the scenes you've been very stressed. Very stressed. Because they look at a lot of paper

you have to do paperwork. It's not just a case of like cleaning the place. You've got to do paperwork I thought it was just how clean everything was. No sweetheart. No.

Oh darling. Love I had no idea. No. Champ. So much paperwork. Right but what kind of stuff do you have to fill out? You have to take

temperatures of all your fridges and freezers and meat on delivery. Why do you have to fill out? You have to take temperatures of all your fridges and freezers And meat on delivery Why do you have to take a temperature of a freezer? It's cold No, to make sure it stays at a constant temperature To make sure the meats are cool enough when it delivers Can you lie and just do it all later?

That's a lot to do later Mate, I wrote an entire thesis at broadcasting school in two weeks That I had six months to work on I am an absolute champ What did you get though? I've been cramming it all in last minute B+. Oh, that's high. That's enough to get a degree. And now let's see them take it off me.

Can they take it off me? I think maybe they could. Flesh, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast, ZM. Amazon is selling a Pavlok bracelet. Pavlok, if you're familiar with Pavlov's dog, it's a scientific theory of conditioning. Right, okay. Like he rang a bell every time he fed the dog

and then it got to the point where he could just ring the bell and the dog would start to salivate like it was about to eat. Yeah, right. It's like those things, you know, if something becomes associated with pain, you're less likely to want to do it. Yeah. So this is the Pavlok bracelet. You put it on And it's like those things, you know, if something becomes associated with pain, you're less likely to want to do it. Yeah.

So this is the Pavlok bracelet. You put it on. It's for $200, which seems expensive because it's not automatic. It doesn't read your brainwaves. Yeah. But you can set up an app on your phone and there's 150 shocks in it before you've got to give it a recharge, but you've got to be willing to shock yourself. So this is to help online shopping.

This is to help anything, any habit you want to break. Right. So if you're craving chocolate and that's a problem for you because it's holding you back from achieving your dreams. Yep. It just looks like a Fitbit, doesn't it? Yeah. You are like, oh my God, I need chocolate.

And you open up the app and you're like, shock myself. And you're like, ah. And then every time you have the craving, if you do it honestly, then you condition yourself to not crave it because it's associated with the shock, the craving, if you do it honestly, then you condition yourself to not crave it because it's associated with the shock, the pain. But you've got to be willing to shock yourself. Right, yeah. I couldn't do that. I would just take it off. And eat the chocolate.

Yeah. And then put it back on. But do you think that would work? You've got your shopping basket. You're online. You're about to check out. And I shock myself. And you shock yourself. No, but you just wouldn't because if you have to shock yourself, you're just like you're about to check out. And I shock myself. And you shock yourself. You just wouldn't because if you have to shock yourself, you're just like, oh, that's going to hurt. You would have shock, you'd be like, oh, I know I need this. And you'd be like,

ah, I feel better. Yeah. You need someone else to do it. Yeah, Mr. Toyboy had the app. So if you actually, if you go, okay, purchase, it would shock you. It needs to be smarter. It needs to be connected to your bank account. Now, I'm not saying we should just connect everything to our bank account willingly. But if you say, I shouldn't be spending money at this place, and you put in all the places you shouldn't be spending money, and then it's like, oh, it spent money, that thing, and then it gives you a little shock.

But again, I'd just take it off and spend the money and put it back on. You can't take it off. We'd put this one on you full time. Okay. And we'd probably up the voltage 10,000. Yeah, probably just get five shocks out of it before it needs a full recharge. But yeah, people on the website are saying they've done everything broken habits from smoking to nail biting to shopping to impulsive eating.

Wow, and it actually works. Yeah, but you've got to be willing to shock yourself. Yeah. Which is the hardest. Have you ever grabbed an electric fence knowing you're going to get a shock? No. It's a hard thing to do to convince your brain to be like,

this is going to really hurt, but we've just got to do it anyway. It's like bungee jumping. Yeah. If you're one of those people that can just throw yourself off, I don't believe you're that smart. Because your brain should be doing everything to stop you jumping, really.

I mean, you'd say AJ Hickett's made a lot of money out of that. That's quite smart. That part's smart. But all the people are paying to do it. Yeah. I've jumped off the SkyTarot. My whole everything was like, absolutely not. Like, even my fingers are like, no, we know better than this.

What are you doing? We've done things, but we know better than this. Yeah. No, and then you just lean forward've done things, but we know better than this. Yeah. No. And then you just lean forward enough that it all just gives out and you fall. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. If you enjoyed this podcast, why not give ZM's Bree and Clint a listen too? Subscribe on the iHeartRadio app or wherever you get your podcasts.

And you say what lives here. ZM.