ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Megan Podcast - July 31 2018

Episode Date: July 30, 2018

Indie won Class Representative yesterday, Swipemares and when did you hit up a celebrity about their thing?See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is the Fletch, Vaughn and Megan podcast, thanks to Spark. You can stay connected with free Wi-Fi a gig a day on the $19 Spark prepaid rollover pack. Enjoy. Hello, good morning. Welcome to the show, Fletch, Vaughn and Megan. Good morning. Hello. How are we feeling after the movie date last night? Mission Impossible, the new Mission Impossible.

I took a long time to get to sleep last night. Did you? Because my adrenaline was pumping. Super jazzed. Gosh, New Zealand looked beautiful, didn't it? Yeah, but then bloody Kashmir's going to take all the credit. No, is that a spoiler alert? Did we know that?

Everybody knew that. Did we know New Zealand was an actor in the movie? We did. And it wasn't playing itself? I didn't know that. Yeah, no, they did say when they started filming that New Zealand was standing in for the Kashmir province. Boo.

Boo. But God, it looked beautiful. I mean, we all know the truth. It's New Zealand. Yeah. And that helicopter stunt. The famous helicopter stunts. Knowing that he actually did that,

I literally was, like, really scared. I famous helicopter stunt. Knowing that he actually did that, I literally was like really scared. I know he survives because he's still alive. He's a madman. He's a madman. He learned to fly a helicopter and then put it in a death spiral. That's insane. That actually is insane. It's a great movie.

I think it's my favourite Mission Impossible. Do you? I was buzzing. I was like, Vaughn, I couldn't get to sleep for ages. I was like, God, that was a great movie. It was just a lot. I think they, did they leave the scene in where he broke his leg on that jump? Yeah, you saw the jump. Yeah, the jump where he broke his ankles, the actual take they use.

Because then he gets up and limps. Yeah, that was because he broke his ankle. He's a madman. Absolutely mad. He's 57 too. I you're like, oh. That was because he broke his ankle. He's a madman. Absolutely mad. He's 57 too. I know. Like, calm down. He shouldn't be doing that stuff.

Like, if they do another Mission Impossible, he'll be 60. And, yeah. That's insane. Like, imagine your parents running around doing that. I know.

Oh, no, they wouldn't. Flying a helicopter jumping off buildings. Don't be so stupid. Calm down. That's a stop being silly. All right, you lot, listen up. It's story time.

Three headlines for three news stories. Vaughan and Megan pick the headline you find most interesting. Headline one, turtles rescued from drain. Shredder unavailable for comment. Headline two, man sues over mugshot. And headline three, man enters store with live gator. Man sues over mugshot. You want that one?

If they chose a terrible one of me, I'd sue too. Do you know what I just learned about the Ninja Turtles? What? So Michelangelo... Yep, does machining. No, that's Donatello. No, so the artists are named after. Yep.

Michelangelo is the sculptor who painted the Sistine Chapel roof. Yep. He did that. Raphael was another artist. Yep. And he said, Michelangelo deserves to be punished and I've got a great punishment idea. He should have to paint the roof because it's going to make him hurt his neck.

Because he wronged my friend Leonardo. So those three were all alive at the same time. Donatello never met them. Oh, okay. Why didn't they find another artist that was around at the time? So they could have all been at the same time. It's like when we think that all the dinosaurs

walked around at the same time, but some of them lived closer to the time of us than they did the initial dinosaurs. I don't know. I feel jilted. Do you feel jilted? Okay, you feel jilted. I feel like the four of those artists should have been around at the same time or none at all. Okay. They certainly shouldn't have

been buddies. I don't think it's going to ruin your childhood though, is it? Well, Leonardo and Raphael were buddies and this Michelangelo was the outsider. Okay, right. You can name more. Oh, no, Leonardo's quite famous, isn't he? I was going to say, you can name more Michelangelo stuff. And do you know David, Michelangelo's David,

with the little doodle? Yeah. The big sculpture. You know that's David from David versus Goliath? Yeah. You know the story about David, the little do dude with the slingshot that takes on the... I thought that was quite famous. Maybe that is super well known.

I only just found out. Oh, I didn't know that. Oh, really? It's a tiny penis, too. No, well, they pegged a little... One of the popes once was like, cover all the penises. And he had a little fig leaf. All of the art that had penises in it had to be covered up.

He found the penises grotesque. Yeah, but didn't we discover why they're all little too? Because they were seen as like... Big, huge ones were seen as... Grotesque. Yeah. And also, like, if you're a sculptor, like, it's more work. So just, of course you're going to make a little one.

Lazy people. It's like with cakes. The minute you start putting big bits that stretch, you've got to put a lot of reinforcement through the middle. Yeah, true. And then it's very girthy because it's got to have the reinforcement. Okay, so what story are we going for? We always find our way back to penises, don't we?

We do, actually. Story number two. At work, most weekends, you know, we'll always find our way back to penises. Man sues over mugshot. Yeah, go on. We go to America now, where a high school ex-superintendent

is suing cops over his mugshot. Now, are you allowed to do this? Well, it's America, isn't it? It is America. Well, anyway... Well, what grounds is he suing them on? Well, the former school superintendent is accused of repeatedly pooping on a high school track near his home.

He was a high school superintendent? Yes. My only experience of superintendents is Superintendent Chalmers of the Simpsons. Now, he has notified police that he plans to file a lawsuit over the mugshot that was taken after his arrest. So he's not denying the shitting, he just doesn't like how he looks in the photo. Well, he claims that police should not have photographed him at the police headquarters because the public defecation, lewdness and litter charges, which remain pending, were low-level offences.

And he's saying, well, you don't get photographed and fingerprinted for a speeding ticket. So why should you when you defecate on a sports track? That's his defence and argument there. OK. He's got Saul off Breaking Bad for a lawyer if that's his line of defence. So what's he after? He's asking for $1 million due to loss of income. Loss of income, mate?

You're the one shitting everywhere. I know, I know. On the very school that you were superintendent-izing. Yeah, it's bizarre. So apparently they were soon able to identify the person responsible for defecating on the track. According to the arrest report, there were surveillance cameras which caught him doing it.

Bizarre, bizarre. So yeah, he's not happy. He's not happy. But it's his own fault, isn't it? Yeah. And there was a, do you see there was another, I think it was in Sydney,

another runner who was pooping places. Yeah, wasn't that a woman? Yeah. What's wrong with people? Use the toilet. Like regularly wasn't that a woman? Yeah. What's wrong with people? Use the toilet. Well, like, regularly. Like, the one in Brisbane, that guy was kind of hitting the same block. She'd been doing it

a few times, yeah, and they'd caught her on camera. Grim. What is wrong? Yeah. What is wrong with people? I don't know. Well, the British have a well-known reputation for getting to beach destinations in Europe, mainland Europe, cutting loose and making fools of themselves.

Hey, look, we're not innocent. We're not perfect. No, that's true. I mean, certainly not. I'm putting the British up there with Australians in Bali. I'm going to do it. Yeah. I'm going to say that it happens.

Or Kiwis at Beachcomber. It gets a bit mongrel, doesn't it? Yeah. It gets a bit feral. With this, I mean, if you're only affecting yourself, that's one thing. But a British stag party has been in the news. And as yet, they have not tracked down the groom on this stag do. His name is Jamie Blake. And you might be thinking, Vaughan, how yet they have not tracked down the groom on this stag do, whose name is Jamie Blake.

And you might be thinking, Vaughan, how do they have this guy's name but have not yet tracked him down? Well, it's because his name is tattooed on the forehead of a homeless person from where this went down. A beach resort benedorm in Spain, the stag party paid 100 euros, 90 pounds, about $130, $140 New Zealand dollars to a homeless person to get the groom's name and address tattooed on his head, his forehead. So they paid the tattoo artist and they took the homeless guy in

and he got Jamie Blake tattooed on the top line of his head. It was going to be over three lines. Jamie Blake, North Shields, NE28, which must be his postcode, right? Okay. Oh, the whole thing takes up his whole forehead. So they got through Jamie Blake. Yeah. But then the next line was closer to the eye.

I don't know anything about tattoos. But apparently that was when the pain started to get too much. So after he got NO of North Shields done, he said, it's too much. I can't do it. It's hurting too much. It's not worth the 90 pounds. So they didn't pay him and left him there. Didn't pay him anything.

With Jamie Blake, no tattooed on his head. Oh, that's rough. Yeah, obviously. And so what, people saw this happen, and it's kind of gone on social media. Somebody's asked them afterwards. There's apparently a Benidorm British Business Association. Yeah.

And it got back to them, and they're like, okay, this is bad for everybody. This is not a great look. They're just coming down here for cheap shits and gigs, branding homeless people who are in a desperate situation. Yeah, that's what I was going to say. Some people will say that he agreed to it, but you're taking advantage of someone who's in a vulnerable situation.

Yeah. Who doesn't know where their next meal or anything's coming from. And they didn't even give him the 90 bucks. No, apparently not. At least they could have given him the 90 bucks and walked away. Oh, that's so sad. But also, what an idiot for tattooing his name and starting to tattoo his details on his head.

It's going to make him slightly easier to track down. I found this on the Daily Mail, which is a huge website, and they always start the Daily Mail with some bullet points. Yeah. In case you're like me and don't like reading all the articles. Yeah. But it says basically what's going down and they've slammed the man's actions and

he couldn't stand the pain, had to stop halfway through and then at the bottom it says, do you know Jamie Blake? Who recently had a stag do to Benidorm? Email tips at dailymail.com. Yes, unfortunately I married him. How much of it you'd be like, oh no.

If you're going to be the sort of people on a stag do that tattoo a homeless person's head for not much money and a bit of shits and gigs, chances are you've wronged a couple of people along the way who would love to sell you out to one of the biggest

distributors of news in the UK. I hope someone's going to fundraise some laser removal. Apparently this business association is looking at doing the removal. Oh, that's good.

Yeah. Poor guy. Yeah. He's rough. Just... Let's keep an eye on that. Be kind to humans. I. Poor guy. Yeah. So. He's rough. Just. Let's keep an eye on that. I want to find Jamie Blake. Yeah.

Yeah. Let's see when he sticks his head up. Fletch. Vaughn. And Megan. The podcast. Well, with the popularity of Love Island. I've got a text.

That's what they say on Love Island. Oh, God. Megan. What episode are you up to on the U? 30. Because you've finished Australia. Yeah. I'm up to episode 30.

But the trouble is it's ending real soon, like this week, eh? We've got like two more episodes, I think. I've got to watch 19 episodes or something in the next few days. I think you can do it. No, I think you can. I think no sleeping. That's nearly an entire day. When Vaughn gets up to go to the gym at 3am,

I might get up to watch. That's such a good idea. It is not a good idea. And also, you could watch it in the background while we're at work. I can approve that. Because this is really important. It's easy to have on because you can hear it, but you can't not listen to it.

You don't need to be looking at the screen, but you need to hear. to it. You can have the screen. You don't need to be looking at the screen, but you need to hear. Sometimes I've, like, not seen their facial expressions. Yeah, but you know. Got text! I got text! Oh, my God. Well, anyway, obviously it's huge in the UK.

And now it's gone political because conservatives have launched a website, a special webpage, on which they are advertising a free giveaway of a Love Island-style water bottle with a political statement. And this one says, don't let Corbyn mug you off. Oh, that's funny. It's a Love Island drink bottle.

Oh, that's proper muggy. Yeah. Yeah, it's proper muggy. Proper. Yeah, it's proper muggy. Proper muggy, right. I don't get it. What does mug you off mean? Mug you off. What's proper muggy?

To be mugged off. Are you mugging me off? That's bad for moving dictionary. I googled what does mug off mean, and in the description it uses the word. That's the very rule of the dictionary, isn't it? But it's like you wouldn't, there's not another word for banana. Muggy's just its own word. But if you said banana beside it in the dictionary, it won it? But it's like you wouldn't, there's not another word for banana. Muggy's just its own word. But if you said banana,

beside it in the dictionary, it won't say, you know, banana. Yeah, it will. It will say yellow fruit that comes in skin that can be peeled off and the interior flesh can be eaten. Vaughn, it's just being muggy.

Oh, that's what that's called. No, if you're being muggy, it's like you're being rude and awful. You're actually being muggy right now, Vaughn. Like you're muggy as fuck. You're purposely. That's proper. No, if you're being muggy, it's like you're being rude and awful. You're actually being muggy right now, Bourne. Like, you're muggy as hell. You're purposely... That's proper muggy. Right.

You're annoying them, is that it? No. No, it's like... Like, Laura was mugged off by Wes. Wes. Oh, spoiler? No, that's everyone else. So, to put it into perspective here in New Zealand,

it'd be like the National Party launching Love Island drink bottles. That's so silly. So instead of your name, it's got some political writing on the side. Yeah, it'd be like, don't let Jacinda mug you off. Yeah. If the National Party did it. That's quite funny, actually. See what I mean?

So I've put that into perspective for you. But then my problem is with the Conservatives, who are like National, but even a little bit more, the antics on Love Island are kind of exactly counterintuitive to their form of politics. It doesn't matter. They just want to reach that audience.

Don't they? Would you vote for a political party if they had a Love Island-style drink bottle, Caitlin? Even if you didn't know what they stood for? Maybe. Yeah, maybe. Because I was like, that's cool. If I wanted it. That's concerning to hear. I'd like to couple up

with this boy. I don't know, I just want to say that. Imagine if that's what they said. They're like, I like that. What was that guy? David Seymour in the Act Party. I can't wait to couple up with that boy. He's 100% my type on paper. Simon, what's his name? Brid paper. Yeah, if they were like, who's Simon,

what's his name? Bridges. Yeah, if they were like, Simon Bridges is proper muggy, I'd be like, hey. Well, I don't know if you saw his video that he released

over the weekend where he was driving and laughing. No, it doesn't work. I feel like you're mugging me right off. All right, Spiders. And you're looking like

a right mug doing it. Am I doing it right or what? Not really at all, off. All right, Spires. And looking like a right mug doing it. Am I doing it right or what? Not really at all, nah. No. You've got to sound younger. It's like Dad's trying. Yeah. What about this one?

Hello, pot. That's the farmer that's always throwing the tractor on postman Pat. Yeah. Hello, pot. An apple stitch for me, tatty. The top six with Vaughan Smith. But an apple stitch for me, Tati. The Christchurch High Court is where it is going to go down. Wheat hyphen Bix versus Wheat-a-Bix. In a battle of the boring breakfast biscuit.

Seriously. Do we have nothing better to do? Those are yuck. The only time either of those were good was when they were hot and absolutely covered in sugar. Oh, yeah. So it's Sanitarium versus the store

that sells this product that they import from the UK? Correctamundo, yes. A little bit of Britain. Leave them alone. Who cares? What are they, denting your profits? Exactly. You don't pay tax anyway, Sanitarium. You don alone. Who cares? What are they, dinting your profits? Exactly.

You don't pay tax anyway, sanitarium. You don't. He's got a good point. He's got a good point. You don't pay corporate tax. Because you're a church property. Technically. I'm willing to wipe Weetabooks off the face of the earth.

Pay some tax. Pay some tax. Exactly. Then we'll talk. But anyway, this small business owner's like, this seems like I'm just getting smashed on, but not backing down. I like that. But then how much is it?

Are they getting a free lawyer out of this, or are they representing themselves? I don't know who's going pro bono against the big corporation. I hope someone is. This is like Erin Brockovich all over again. It is, but her name's Lisa Wilson. Okay. Fighting for a dry, bland, wet bitch.

Yeah. I wonder if she even likes them or if it's just a matter of principle. I think it's a matter of principle. Nobody really likes any kind of dry, wet breakfast brick. Do they? Like dads, maybe? It's what you eat when there's nothing left. Granddads now.

I'm a dad. I shouldn't be saying dads like wet bits. Yeah. We don't. I should speak for mine and my own and saying we don't. So anyway, if Weet-A-Bix versus Weet-Bix is headed for the high court, here are six other cereals that should be heading to the high court. Okay.

You know, due to being very similar. Yeah. Number six is Muesli versus this new cereal on the market called Cereal Factory Floor Sweepings, which is basically just everything that falls off the conveyor belt gets put in a box. Right. Which is so similar to Muesli, I'd be able to defy you to be able to taste the difference. Hard to tell. Both predominantly dust.

Yep. Number five on the list of cereals that need to head to court, Corn Flakes versus the new cereal on the market, maize shavings. Right. Which is pretty much exactly the same. Maize shavings. Maize shavings.

That's what they are. Yeah, exactly. Exactly. They're like the sorest cornflakes. Yeah. And gone into business. Number four on the list of cereals that need to head to court to battle it out is Nutri-Grain

versus sugary malt shapes for athletes. And then underneath in brackets, it says they'll just make everybody else fat, close brackets. And having been a non-athlete who once lived primarily on Nutri-Grain, I can vouch for the fact they'll make you fat. Yeah, it's a lot of sugar. There's a lot of sugar in there unless you're literally eating it and then doing the Iron Man stuff.

You're probably having too much sugar there. Number three on the list of cereals that need to head to court is Fruit Loops versus the new contender on the market, kind of trying to narrow that, you know, take a bit of their market share. Fruit Loops versus ring shaped type 2 diabetes in a box.

I thought it was an interesting take on marketing and a name. Yeah. Quite long. Yep, but negative. Yeah, a little bit negative. A little bit negative. Number two on the list of cereals they need to head to court to battle their counterparts is Special K versus Better Than Average L.

Which are both targeting the ladies. Yep. Because apparently ladies' legs look like a K or an L or something. Yeah. Never really understood the marketing. And the number one cereal that needs to head to court to battle with its counterpart, Coco Pops versus the show favourite,

Choccy Puff Puff Yum Yums. They are both chocolatey, puffy, and indeed yum yums. Yep. That's today's top six. FEM. ZM. There's, you know, one of the biggest concerns when you travel is... Scammers. Yep. Okay.

Terrorism, even though I feel that that's like well overplayed. Yep. But one of the biggest fears is not having the right currency on hand for small purchases. You know, you might have like a really big note and you're going to have to break it for something small.

Well, McDonald's is circumnavigated, circumvented, whatever. People always pull me up on that. I like circumnavigated because they went entirely all the way around the problem. If you circumnavigate the globe, you go all the way around it. They've gone all the way around the problem. There's the coin coming out to celebrate the, is it the 50th year of the Big Mac this year?

Yeah, it is. And that coin can get you a Big Mac anywhere in the world. Wow, okay. So you don't need to exchange currencies or anything? No. That coin's good. It's a universal currency, but the only thing you can purchase

is that universal currency is a Big Mac. Is a Big Mac, yeah. Right. Anywhere in the world. That's pretty cool. How do our, as not a Big McDonaldita, how do our Big Macs stack up to Big Macs around the world? Fletch, you've probably traveled to...

They do the Big Mac index. No, but I'm talking quality. Oh, quality. Because our beef's way better than a lot of countries' beef. I'm not a huge fan of going to a Macca's when you're travelling overseas because you should always try the local food, eh? Yeah. On occasion I have and yeah, I guess they're pretty similar.

Are they pretty much the same? New Zealand always, the burgers always taste nicer, I think because it's, you know, New Zealand beef. Does the size change? Because I feel like in America they'd be a little bit bigger. No, same. Same size. Same size.

Same, same. Well, then, yeah, so you are getting the same thing for the same coin. But that's what I was thinking. What if the quality is way better in different countries? But they do cost different, right? Yeah, because that's the I was thinking. What if the quality is way better in different countries? But they do cost different, right? Yeah, because that's the Big Mac index. Yeah. That's what they...

So if you got a Big Mac coin in New Zealand and took it to Switzerland, that's the highest. Switzerland and Norway are the highest on the Big Mac index. So go from the lowest. What's the lowest? Where's the cheapest place to get a Big Mac? India. How much does that cost?

So this is Big Mac price. I'm assuming US dollar. Okay. A dollar 62. A dollar 60 gets you a Big Mac. So you say you get a few of these coins in India. And then you go to Norway. I mean, if you were going anyway,

Switzerland. You made yourself money, technically. $6.81 for a Big Mac. So you've got $1.20, $5.20 profit. Yeah, and it's saying $4.00 for US dollars and five cents in New Zealand. Is that about right? I don't know what a Big Mac, because you always get in a combo, don't you? So you don't know how much.

Yeah, just a standalone. When was the last time you went to buy a standalone burger and then you saw the combo was only like 10 cents more and you're like, wow, wow. Economically thinking you'd be foolish not to. Yeah. So, I mean, if you can get your hands on these, I'm assuming they're just giving them away

to celebrate the anniversary. They wouldn't want to give away too many in India. They'll bankrupt it when all the Indians go to Norway. The Norwegians won't know what's happening. A plane lands from India, everybody charges off with their coins. I mean, you've got to buy an airfare to save a dollar, Vaughan. Well, I'm saying we'll chip in. Yeah, right.

Or promise the pilot a Big Mac. He might do it. It's just so crazy, it might just work. This case, while a man is saving money on insurance, I want to say it also belittles a certain section of society who are struggling. This man, he said he learnt, he's 23, he learnt that females of the same age

are paying significantly less insurance for their vehicles. Why did you just roll your eyes, Megan? He earns more than us probably in the workplace, so it evens out, buddy. Come on, mate. Point taken. Fair call. Plus we've earned that because we're better drivers.

On a whole, yes. Females are involved in less accidents. But that's the thing here in New Zealand as well. Females insurance premiums are lower for vehicles. How much lower?

Because he reckons he's saved over $1,000. Over how long? Since he changed it last year. I remember that when you get to 25

it drops heaps. It drops heaps. And if you're 25, 26 and you haven't changed your insurance since you were under 25 you need to ring them up. Yeah. Because they won't tell you. 25, 26, and you haven't changed your insurance since you were under 25, you need to ring them up.

Yeah. Because they won't tell you. Oh, they love not telling you. They won't change it. You've got to ring them up and say, well, I'm over 25 now. That was the best thing about being quarter of a century. I was like, I'm a quarter of the way to 100, but my insurance has gone down. Yeah, but that's also the problem with dating people 10 years younger than you is he's still

not out of that buffer zone. I never thought about that. He's still not 25. I guess he still not out of that buffer zone. I never thought about that. He's still not 25. I guess he could just not drive. What? You'd not thought about that. Someone who primarily sees people of the

under 25 age demographic. Never getting in the stage of putting them on insurance. God. In a little bit of a car doesn't make you worry about it. But how much more? One of your romantic weekends away

you'd always have to put your name on the rental. How much more does it cost though? It's quite a bit more. His insurance is quite a bit more. Because I'm like the primary driver on both cars because it's cheaper.

You ring up insurance and they're like, would you like your son on the insurance? You're like, he's not my son. Sorry, nephew. I'm not old enough to be his mum. No, you would have been a ten-year-old mother. That wouldn't have been suitable at all. A nine-and-a-half-year-old mother.

So he said, and this is the part where it doesn't sit well with me, because there are people who genuinely feel whilst they were born in the body of a male or a female, they identify as the opposite gender. And I don't claim to understand it all by any stretch of the imagination, but I can imagine that would be confusing. So to have the option to be able to say in your formal identification that you identify as a male or a female

and you get to choose those, I think that's a good thing. This guy's taking advantage of it, though. He just said he went to his doctor and he said, I identify as a woman now. And the doctor said, Oh, do you?

And he said, Yep. And the doctor filled him oh, do you? And he said, yep. And the doctor filled him out a piece of paper and that was all he needed to take to the driver's license center, applied for a new license under the name David. Yeah. But gender female. Right.

And used that driver's license for all of his insurance premiums and his insurance premiums. He's now saving money monthly. $1,000 a year. Since he said he changed it last year, yeah, he's saved over $1,000. But he's going to make it difficult now for people who are actually trans. You know?

That's the thing. It's something people have fought for. Exactly. They've fought for the right to have and somebody's like, well, I don't want to pay my first year of insurance premium. But imagine if you went the other way, from female to male. You're like, I'm finally happy to be doing this, and then your insurance is like, that's an extra $1,000.

You'd be like, shit. No, yes, yes, no, yes. That's an interesting argument, no. Yes. Yes, dammit. That's an interesting argument. Yeah. Because would you still be like as good a driver as your female brain? Because you're still, yeah. See, I was confused at the start. You could argue that with the insurance. You might remember I said I didn't claim to understand.

Technically, genetically, a female brain, so I'm still a really good driver. You know? Mm-hmm. Yeah, I don't think you can just twist it around to Sue. I've been on hold with insurance for a super long time, and it was a really simple question. So you ring up Sue in the call centre and chuck her that little social grenade. She's not going to know what to do with it.

Sue's going to have to put you on hold while she speaks to the supervisor. I can just imagine she's just like, she just starts profusely sweating. She's like, I'm sorry, I'm just going to have to put you on hold for a moment. Pushes the mute button, she's like, help, help. You'd be bouncing around a few departments or someone answered that question, I think. FM. Caitlin, producer Caitlin answered that question, I think. FM. Caitlin, producer Caitlin, the Caitlin, our Caitlin,

told us yesterday after the show that she has been the recipient of some flirting. That's me. I was flirted with, guys. Do we need to give a little background that Caitlin often thinks people are flirting with her? Why do you keep saying thinks? Because sometimes it's just flirt

with me. It's just banter. You know? It's just being polite. Yeah. Or friendly. Okay, well should I just tell you this and then you can decide. Caitlin is adamant that she's being flirted with here and we're like, no, well please let us know your opinion on 9696 after this story.

Okay. So over the weekend, I went to a new gym. I'm not going to say where because I don't want to like, you know. Incriminate anyone. Incriminate anyone. Okay. And I was a bit lost as to where to go, like which door to go through. And this man got out of his car

and was like and he had a sweet towel with him and so I was like okay and I was looking like he had a what with him? sweet towel I thought you said sweet tail I'm like that's sexual harassment

no no no hey buddy sweet tail and he was like looking at me and because I was looking like I was like a bit like I don't know where to go and so he looked at me and then I looked at him and then he looked at me and because I was looking like I was like a bit like I don't know where to go and so he looked at me and then I looked at him and then he looked at me again and he and then I said oh um do you know where the gym class is and he was like yeah come with me and like gave me a

smile and I was like we're on and so and then he like he like took and and then as we were walking through he was like I was like oh I haven't been here before and he's like, and then as we were walking through, he was like, I was like, oh, I haven't been here before. And he's like, oh, you're starting with an intermediate class. And I was like, what's he trying to say? I know. And I was like, yeah. And he was like, that's brave. And then looked at me and I was like, it's on.

And then. That's level two it's on, by the way, because outside that was just level one it's on. Right, okay. Now, of course, level two it's on. At this stage, he just sounds helpful and friendly. Yeah. Well, nah, because he didn't have to. He didn't have to help me.

He could have said, yeah, it's just through here. I mean, you literally asked how to get in. If he didn't help you, he'd be a monster. The trouble is if he's like, it's just through here, then he's walking the same way as you, so it's kind of rude. It's like when you say bye to someone and then walk off in the same direction.

Okay. Well. Okay. I'm not trying to rain on your parade. No. At this stage, we're still at level two, it's on.

So we go in and then I start talking to the like gym instructor and so he like goes in and does this stuff. Then we do the class and he's in front of me. And then so I was trying to be really impressive,

obviously, throughout the class. So it was a good motivation. And then at the end of the class, I walked over to get, you know, you wipe it down. Wipe what down? Wipe the gym stuff down. Oh, okay. And then he was like, how was that?

He told me that again. Are we was like, um, how's that? Is that how you talk to me again? Are we getting to level three? It's on? It's on. It's on. And I was like, oh, it was a bit, I was like, oh, that was a bit hard. And he was like, yeah. Did you do that hair flick as well? Yeah. And I was like, oh, a bit hard. And I was like, sore, I got

sore hips. Oh my god. You've automatically gone for it. It's back to level one. It's on. And then what else did he say? He was just like making conversation. I was like, okay.

Oh, wait. Yeah, at some point, I think it was at this point, I realised he was wearing a wedding ring. But. So he's not flirting with you. He's not flirting. Well, I don't know. No, we do. flirting with you. He's not flirting. Well, I don't know. No, we do. He's not.

How is that? Wait, there's more. And then, as we went to leave the class, we walked out at the same time. I was kind of talking to the instructor and then he was putting his shoes on. I was like, is he waiting for me? He's putting his shoes on. At the same time. And then he so he's putting his shoes on at the same time and

then he said um he's like oh yeah i went for a run yesterday like trying to impress me he said i went for a run yesterday that's why like it was quite sore for me today and i was like oh good on you so he was like obviously trying to present and anyway and he was like anyway have a great day that's not funny you he doesn't need to talk that much to me. And like, I reckon he was going to ask me out for a coffee,

but it's because he's got a wife. He probably didn't. It's because he's got a wife. Oh my God. No. That's not flirting. That's someone being nice. But,

I don't want to rain on your parade, so I'll let Fletch do it. No, you tell her. She needs to hear this from her friends. But he didn't have to keep talking to me. I think he's just a friendly guy. I think he's just really friendly. Yeah, you were literally walking in the same direction on the way out at the same time.

But I think he waited for me to walk out with me to start the conversation again. But also I think even if he was flirting with you, the wedding ring's like a bit of a... No, I know. Maybe I shouldn't. The forbidden fruit is what she's after. No, I know. Maybe I shouldn't. The forbidden fruit is what she's after. No, I know. I wouldn't have done anything, but I just was like, I think he's flirting with me. He's not.

Well, if that's all, then you take that. But if that's all, like. It gave me like a little bit of a kick for the rest of the day. Well, if that's all you want from it, that's good. But if he is married, man, and you want to take it further, that's not a good idea. But then I'm like, when am I going to next see him? Oh, my God.

Did you hear yourself just then? Keep that audio on hand. In fact, make it your ringtone. When am I next going to see him? If we paraphrase what he said, he said, Hi, the gym's over here. Did you have a good class? See you later. No, remember he told me he went for a run.

Yeah, but that was because you were right behind him, so he was like, oh. Self-consciously, he's like, she might have heard me groaning. Oh, it was a bit hard because I went for a run yesterday. Goodness. When am I going to see him next? It is maybe a little bit of the reason why you don't have a boyfriend. I'm not Stebby.

Don't make that noise. When am I going to see him next? I just need a little excitement in my life. Yeah, but don't make up people. Don't invent it. And guess like yourself. You're like playing all the roles in Gone Girl. Not Gone Girl.

Girl on a Train. Girl on a Train. If you're playing all the roles in Gone Girl, you'd win an Academy Award. You just murdered yourself. The restricted license is a period in your life where you taste freedom, but you're not allowed to eat at the buffet. You're allowed a little nibble at lunch. You're allowed to order an entree off the menu of freedom.

But it's going to be changing soon, right? We were just reading. Well, maybe. There's a private member's bill that's going to parliament that would scrap the curfew. So you wouldn't need an exemption. So at the moment, in restricted licence, you can drive on your own, but not between 10pm and 5am. And people are saying, well, you know, some people have jobs.

You might have a supermarket job or something. Yeah, I worked at a bar and I sometimes finished later than 10. And you could get an exemption for that. Yeah. And as country kids, I'm pretty sure there was exemptions to, if you were going to school, that you could take your siblings. There was a few exemptions you could apply for. People had, like, swim training. You might have to start at, like, five or something.

Yeah, so you needed to be there by five, which meant driving before five. So there's always been exemptions you've been able to apply for. If you drove between ten and five, though, and without an exemption, you need to have somebody in the front seat that had a full license. Right. Yeah, and has had it for at least two years. You weren't allowed to carry passengers. Do you remember that? That's right.

I think we did anyway. I carried, I wouldn't have. I was, because I was a country kid. Yeah. So that car was like a lifeline to go and see people. Yeah. Without having to get real puffed on a bike. Yeah.

So you were a stickler for the rules. I knew my parents would just take the car off me. And they'd just be like, right, that's it. Nah, you're not having it. And I'd be like, now I'm stuck out here. I was just terrified of the police. Oh yeah, that was scary too. Of being pulled over, so I just never did it either. They were scary. I took one

person in the car, no, two people in the car once, one time on my restricted and I made one person in the car, no, two people in the car once, one time on my restricted and I made them get in the boot. Both of them in the boot. Both of them in the boot. That's not safe. It was just a little short distance, but I didn't want to get spotted. So I made them get in the boot of a 86 Toyota Starlet, which if you're familiar with the

Starlet's tiny boot, quite hilarious to shove two teenage boys in there. You'd get arrested for that now. Oh, yeah. Well, as a 36-year-old, yeah. If I was shoving teenage boys in the boot of my starlet, I probably would face more questioning than I would if I was also a 16-year-old. But you're on your full license. Yeah.

So that's okay. They won't stop me. You just look like an Uber. Yeah. A very unconventional Uber. So the idea is that, yeah, there'll be no curfews,

but you'd still would, you wouldn't be allowed passengers. No. So it'd be just like the daytime, but there'd be no curfew. Right.

I don't think that's a bad thing. Because what's the licence age at now? It's still 15 in New Zealand, isn't it? When you can first apply for your learners. Even though for the last as long as I can remember, oh, it's going up soon.

It's going up. Do people still say that at school? Oh, it's going up soon. It's going up soon. And old people who are like deaf and like just starting to go blind and stuff, they're like, no, 15, too young to drive.

Anyway, I'm off to the shops. Wrong side of the road, first gear. Young people shouldn't be driving on our roads. Yesterday after the show, we were waiting for somebody and we were all, and the producers both, and there's a TV in there. Yeah. And the ad came on for Trivago. Now, that should be no surprise,

because if you've ever watched television or YouTube or anything, you will have seen a Trivago ad, because my good Lord, they advertise an insane amount. How much do they spend on TV advertising? Because there would not be a single ad break they don't have an ad in. Yeah. That must be her only job. She must be rich.

She's actually got this weird cult following on the internet, the Trivago lady. Gabrielle. Yeah. Because I saw the other day she pulled a man. You didn't see the man,

but she like, a man, a man put out, no, a man put out his hand and pulled her off screen or vice versa. I was like,

she's using that room for something else now. The Trivago. The Trivago lady. She's got a boyfriend. Well, there's nothing to stop you using Trivago for a late night check-in. No, probably not. But anyway, I don't know who else was watching the TV. I don't know if you guys were watching it, but when it came on, I yelled out, Hotel! Because I've been conditioned.

Yeah. Pavlov's dog. I was like, Hotel! Trivago! And everyone in the room Said Tribago Hotel Tribago That shows I guess That the advertising's working

Oh god sadly And then we got talking What we would do If we ever saw the Tribago lady And I said I'd hate myself for it But I'd yell hotel Hotel

Hotel No And she'd be like She'd Like a nervous tick She'd be like Tribago She wouldn't be able to She'd be like, Travago.

She wouldn't be able to. She'd get sick of it. Oh, but she's getting, she's got to be getting paid well. Is she worldwide? Yes. Travago lady? I think so. But she sounds Australian. I know.

She's Australian. I thought she was just Australian, New Zealand, Travago lady. At least they've got different Travago ladies in different countries. I just thought it was the one Travago lady. She couldn't go out in public without someone screaming that. Hotel! Check her out. Be like, Motel!

She'd be like, okay, mate. You've raised a good point. Bed and breakfast. Or Airbnb! Like, you'd get Trivago! God, she'd get sick of it. I know. And then we got talking about What What celebrities get

What yelled at them The whole time Because we've been out with Um Maddie McLean On multiple occasions And Everybody

Oh god Everybody What's the weather doing And they don't even want to know They just want to yell it Yeah Or like you'll be at Somewhere with him

And the weather might be a bit crap and they're like, it's raining. Why didn't you give us the good weather? And he's still like... Growing up in New Plymouth, that's where Jim Hickey's from. Oh, yes.

You know, he was TV One weather guy for years and years and years and years. And I remember once walking, I was behind him and someone was like, what's the weather doing? And I was like, he was TV One weather guy for years and years and years and years. And I remember once walking, I was behind him, and someone was like, what's the weather doing? And I was like, he must get sick. And he still gets it. Oh, yeah.

He still gets it, and he hasn't been doing it for years. But it's your one in to a celeb, you know? You don't know them personally. But it'd be like if you saw a sportsman, you'd be like, yep, you lost at the weekend. You won at the weekend. It's like, piss off. Or if they did something that made them well-known.

Like a catchphrase or something. Yeah. Oh, I was just thinking Aaron Smith and the public toilets. Like catchphrases too. Yeah, yeah, right. That's a nice, much nicer than being yelled at. Where's the nearest disabled? Could we take some calls?

Has anyone ever hit up a celebrity about their thing? Like? Has anyone ever hit up a celebrity about their thing? When have you hit up a celebrity about their thing? How did it go? Because maybe you were like, well, this is a good line of questioning. This is a good question. And then maybe you said it and you were like, oh, they must get this all the time.

Because I feel like advertising, it happens in advertising because advertising is so repetitive. And there is always like, my 10 10-megaguy was big is good. I bet he got yelled at all the time. Yeah. People off ads or people that do product endorsements and it's got a tagline. The Briscoe's lady.

Oh, you having a sale? I bet that was just popped into my head automatically. She would get that all the time. Yeah. All the time. One handy. So we'd like to know, yeah,

if you've ever hit up a celebrity about their thing, be it a catchphrase or what they're most well known for. Yeah, and how did it go down? How'd it go?

And maybe they handled it like a professional. That's the mark of a true professional. It is. When they don't tell you immediately, like if I was Travago lady

and I was walking along and someone was like, hotel, I'd be like, F off. Clenched first, just go, get out of my face! Sorry, Trivago. Alright, 0800 dials at M,

give us a text, 9696, whenever you hit up a celebrity about their thing. FEM. Started with the Trivago hotel. Trivago. Started with that ad yesterday after the show and we just imagined what it would be like being that Trivago lady. Trivago. Started with that ad yesterday after the show, and we just imagined what it would be like being that Trivago lady. Like, wherever you went, people would say,

Hotel. Trivago. And Goddard's talking about when you've seen a celebrity in the wild, and you've hit them up about their thing, maybe their job, what they're famous for, maybe a line, a catchphrase. Some text messages in. Somebody said, my friend was the giganier.

Do you remember the giganier from the Telecom Spark ads? Yeah. About having so many gigs, you didn't know what to do with it. Giganier. That's right, yeah. And people always used to say, it's the giganier. But my friend really liked it, so he'd stop and have a chat to them all. Sign some T-shirts.

Somebody messaged in saying that they once hit up Andrew Hoare and said, did you mount that seal you shot in the face? As you might remember, all black, Andrew Hoare famously

shot under seal. Yes, that's right. He didn't like that being brought up and there was a heated discussion. According to the St. Da Vinci rule. Right.

I'd imagine so. I don't know if I'd bring that up. I wouldn't in person. It's much easier to do it on the radio. We're protected behind soundproofing and a security guy that I hope could stop Andrew Hoare. Sure. So, yeah, we're hearing from lots of people and people seeing a lot of New Zealanders.

Fran, who did you see? What celebrity did you hit them up? I ran into Timuera Morrison in a supermarket. Okay. It's like circa 2000-ish. Okay. So my sister and I were in our early teens. I had a total like, Dr. Robata, oh my God.

And we both looked over at him and my sister just looked at me and I was like, we're not in Guatemala now and he just dead faced us. To be honest, that kind of surprises me because he's like, he's real chill. He is a good sport.

He's so lovely. When they say Timmy Ramirez is coming in for an interview, you know it's going to be a good time because he just hits the floor running. Yeah, but then that's where he does all his energy and gives it all the Fs. He'd get that a lot, though, wouldn't he?

He probably would, yeah. Thanks, Fran. Thomas, what celebrity did you hit up about their thing? I've seen Frankie Stevens when I was up in Auckland's Boat Casino. I was up on the top of the balcony and I seen him walking down along and coming into the building and I yelled out,

Oh yeah! That's right! I was trying to remember what he said. That was what he said on Idol when he liked him. Oh yeah! And he just stopped and he had two beautiful ladies on his arms.

He just stopped on his tracks and looked up at me and went, Oh yeah! Yeah. He knew what the oh yeah. Yeah. He knew what the oh yeah was about. Oh shit. I'm not Steven. It had something to do

with the two ladies on his arm. Maybe Thomas, thanks for your call, mate. No worries, mother. You have a good day. Did Thomas just call you mother? Did he say mother? He must have been in that book.

Are you my mother? I think he meant to say brother. Or mate. Or mate. Oh, he went mate, brother. Yeah. Mother. Well, that's what your mother is. think he meant to say brother. Or mate. Or mate. Oh, he went mate, brother. Yeah. Mother. Well, that's what your mother is.

She's your mate, brother. Not really. Not at all. Kind of. Thanks, Thomas. Somebody text messaged in saying they saw Scribe at the pub once, and he was on the pokies, and they said, do you know how many people win these? Not many, if, and he turned and looked at them.

They said the look stopped them mid-sentence. No, no, I'll leave you to it. I know, I want to crawl into a hole. You've got look stopped the mid-sentence. And I was like, I'll leave you to it. I know I want to crawl into a hole. You've got some major gumption to do that. Not many of...

I'll leave you to it, mate. Have a good one, eh? Bye. And he would see that coming a mile away. Poor guy. Ah, goodness me. I don't think we're going to top that coming. A mile away. Poor guy. Ah, goodness me.

I don't think we're going to top that one. Nicole has had a bad dating experience through a dating app and she has decided to tell us about it now. Good morning, Nicole. Good morning. Okay, so let's start from the beginning. What happened? Mm-hmm.

So I was on Tinder and met a nice enough guy. We arranged to go to a coffee shop to have kind of the first meet coffee. It was all kind of going well. And then he went to walk me back to my car and his car was before my car. We walk in and he sees that his back window had been smashed in. Oh, no. God. Okay.

And so he's about five years older than me at the time. And he burst into tears. Oh, my God. He was 28, burst into tears, and then threw an absolute sop and was on the phone to his mum. Oh, bless. What kind of car was it? Was it quite flash?

Was it like it's pride and joy? It wasn't that flash. Like, it was, it would have been under, you know, like kind of eight grand kind of a thing. It wasn't nothing too good. But he absolutely threw a thought and was sitting on the side of the road, like crying. Maybe he just had a really bad day or a bad week

and it all just happened and it all built up. I think you're being too nice to him, to be fair, but... Ruthless. At that stage, Nicole, did you think, I could go on another date with this guy? I mean, I felt sorry for the poor lad, but no. No. But, you know, when it gets better,

so then I kind of am like, okay, well, you're good, yeah, I'll see you later. And then I carry on walking, and then he comes running up behind me and goes, wait, my car won't start. And I said, what? And he's like, the light went on, and it won't start. And so I said, okay, well, I've got some jumper leads if you want to jumpstart the car.

And he's like, I don't know how. And then he just starts bursting into tears again. Oh! Little fella! Oh, no! You're all right, sweetheart. I felt really sorry for him. How old would he have been?

28. He was 28. I was 22. I can understand the stress of the whole situation, but cry, like bawling cryings. But isn't that what girls want? Don't girls want a mummy's boy? No.

So then I'm there with my car, and I go in in front, and I'm like out in a tiny dress and heels, and I'm like jump-starting his car for him while he's still sitting on the side of the road crying on the phone to his mum again. Oh, the poor guy. Do you know what mum's saying? What's mum's reading of the whole situation?

Well, mum lived 40 minutes out of town, so there wasn't much mum could do. Oh, no. Or was she like, oh, my little fella, it's okay, baby, mummy still loves you? Was he overly mothered, do you think? I mean, maybe. I was too busy jump-starting

his car. Yeah. You're like, stop crying, get it together, turn the key when I say so. Strong, independent woman, but you want to know if push comes to shove, he can still look after you, you know? Oh, totally. Yeah, yeah. So as soon as the car started, I was like, alright, I'll see you later. Probably won't.

Yeah. Nicole, thank you so much for sharing your swipe mirror. Oh, thank you. And if you would like to register your own and tell us about your weird or horrible first date experience, so you can register the swipe mirror, send us a message. FVM ZM is our Facebook page, or you can register at ZM online. FVM.

So yesterday at work, I got a little, to be honest for me, it was pretty good. Pretty good. You disappeared for a while. Yeah, I did have to disappear for a little while. I'll tell you the backstory.

On Friday, I go and pick up Indy from school and her teacher says, hey, this is exciting. Indy's interested in being the class rep, which means like there's going to be a student council and a kid from each room goes

and they come back and report to the class student stuff. Yeah. That's so cute. And I said, well, that's amazing because she's quite shy. You know how shy she is. And this year she's had an amazing teacher and has really like made a lot of effort

to bring her out of her shell. And so she said, so on Monday there's going said so on monday there's going to be a presentation and there's going to be a class vote yeah for who they're going to pick so you guys have a talk about what you want to do and so during the weekend i said how do you want to do this and she said well these are the points that you have to be to be a good class rep and i think we should make a video showing that i can do all of these four points. To which I said, great, that means Dad's going to have to edit it. But every parent doesn't say over the weekend.

Great, great. But I was like, okay, that's cool. We can definitely do that. I'm not going to write it all and do it all. We have to work at this together, and you have to, like, lead the way. So we set out and we made a video that showed that she was kind, inclusive, what were the other ones? Helpful and can talk to adults,

like responsible enough to talk to adults. We made a little video. I've put it on my Instagram and Facebook page. It's so cute. She actually banned me yesterday from talking about it at work until the election results were in. She said she didn't want the video going anywhere until the results are in. I was like, okay.

She had to submit the video to the class and they watched it as a class and then she answered any questions anybody had. So this was yesterday then? This was yesterday. So I knew it was happening yesterday morning. So then I got a little message through this app that deals with the school and it's like you've received a message and i was like well i have to go because either way like win or lose there's gonna be some emotions it was a hard it was a hard fought campaign it was a very hard fought election 2018 they were calling it yeah

the big one so uh i went to the bathroom here at work and i read the message and I was like, yes, because we won. Well, she won. Well, we won. The Smith campaign was successful. Right, okay. And so, I was like,

yes, and I came back into work and because my wife had told Caitlin about this at Megan's birthday party on Saturday night and I said, oh,

Indy got class rep. Well, Caitlin screamed so loud somebody thought I'd stabbed her. She was like, ah, ah, ah. And then you got emotional too, Caitlin. Yeah, Caitlin started crying loud somebody thought I'd stabbed her. She was like, ah, ah, ah.

And then you got emotional too, Caitlin. Yeah, Caitlin started crying and then that almost got me going again. Yeah, because I looked at the look on your face and you were so proud and it just made my eyes well up. A little bit, just like proud welling. I didn't cry. Not to say I didn't have some later on at home. You should be proud.

She was so articulate in that video and she was so brave. Yeah, it was good. And this sounds like me scouting about my child, and 100% she's very advanced and maybe the best child ever. I've got two children, so they're both the best children ever. Right. But she even got a little message from the Prime Minister saying congratulations. I just got a text message before little message from the Prime Minister saying congratulations.

I just got a text message before saying, hey, Talindi, congratulations. It's great news. She's already doing better than her dad. I know. He was deputy and he was useless. I had to collude with the Russians to get elected to student council back in the 90s to get on the student council.

So I said, oh, what's your first point of order? She was like, what does that mean? I was like, I'm talking to a kid, I better. What do you mean, when's your first meeting? And she said, Tamara said, oh, what's your first thing you're taking? And she said, well, I was talking to the class. And I was like, that's good. You've got to talk to your people.

These are your constituents. These are who you represent. And she's like, and I reckon we need a class kitten. She's on the right track. Great idea. Those sorts of election promises that get you votes but don't necessarily translate to good policy. And free donuts after lunch.

Yes. And free food. It's never going to happen. Donuts. They love a shared lunch, so she'll probably be pushing a bit more for a shared lunch. Okay. She loves a bit of everything at a shared lunch.

Who looks after the kid on school holidays? They're kids, mate. They don't think that's part of the show. It's all very short term. Yeah. Basically like real politicians. Yeah, right. Just making short term promises without any real long term plans.

Just to get elected. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. I assume she'll be abusing her power any time now. And I couldn't be prouder. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day.

Today's fact of the day, I'm going to give you a choice. Do you want a fact about tongues or nipples? What do you think is more What's more interesting In fact That's why I'm giving you the choice I thought they were very

You got nips man Yeah let's go nips You're a nips man Just I'm choosing one Vaughn You got nips Nips Choosing one No tongues

Or nips Okay Both Why can't we have both? Well, just whatever one we don't use today, we'll probably end up using tomorrow. You know, waste not want not. Oh, right. Recycling.

Like your mum saying, what do you want for dinner? Chicken or beef? But both are in the fridge, so whatever you had on it today, you have it tomorrow. Okay. All right. Okay, nips today. Nips today. All right.

Well, today's fact of the day. Then I'll ask you a riddle. What has hairless ears? Nipples. No. Hairless ears, 50 teeth, opposable thumbs on its feet, and 13 nipples arranged in a circle with one in the middle? I've got no idea.

Pass. Is it an animal? Yes. A mammal because it an animal? Yes. A mammal because it's got nipples, so it's got mammary glands. A platypus. Nope. I'll just say because we're going through a massive list. Weird animals.

An opossum. The North American possum. Not its Australian marsupial cousin. Not the one that's a plague here in our beautiful God zone. Hey, Christian. Yes. You said opossum. Yes.

And some people say opossum. Well, you meant to say opossum. You meant to, aren't you? Say opossum. Who put an O at the start of that? So opossum is what you call them. Australian ones are just possums. But everyone here calls them possums.

The guy that named the Australian possum possum thought it was the North American possum. Right. But completely different. Right. Totally different creatures. Oh, okay. Wildly different creatures. Okay.

But they're different. But it's the North American possum. Has 13 nipples arranged in a circle with a nipple in the middle. I need a go-go. Let's see our central nip. So the baby possums are born about the size of kidney beans. Tiny little things. Oh, okay.

Tiny little things and often in a litter of, well, I would say no more than 13 because one would not have a nipple. Yeah, because you'd be upset if you didn't get a nipple. So it goes 12 around the outside. It's sort of a circle. Yeah, it's grim as. They're nasty looking little things. It's not like, don't imagine just like a woman with a

circular of nipples on her chest it's not like that they're like weird almost they look like little tentacles eh yeah and they come down

out of this like pouch and hang out okay yeah it's not erotic I didn't think it would be more at all

okay for anybody involved I'd imagine because they possibly have very sharp teeth but they so they have 12 in a circle and one right in the middle

because they have a litter of no more than 13 because one would not have any sustenance and die. Is the middle one like VIP? Yeah, the prime. I don't know. Okay. I believe it's just this, I don't know how evolution took them down the path

of having a round table of nips with sort of a thrown nip in the middle. Yeah, weird. But they do. They have 12 nips in a circle. And I've got to thank somebody for this fact. Nicole messaged that in. She said she was watching an episode of Blacklist.

The Blacklist. Yeah. What's his face? James Spader. And they said somebody mentioned that opossums have 13 nipples arranged in a circle, and she was like, nonsense. Paused the show, Googled it on the spot, and then said to me, I can confirm this that I've heard on the blacklist is indeed a fact,

and I Googled it, and I can confirm it as well. Okay. So today's fact of the day is the North American opossum, no relation to the opossum, although somebody once thought it looked the same, so why not give it the same name, has 13 nipples arranged in a circle and one right in the middle. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day.

I was looking on Reddit last night and there was a picture of a cat and it looked old. And I was like, that's an old, old ass looking cat. Like, you know when cats... I just realised how horrible that sounded. That's an old ass looking manga cat. It was old looking. Like you could tell it was beyond just being a dribbler. You know when your cat's getting old and it becomes like,

it doesn't just dribble when it's happy, it just kind of dribbles the whole time. Yep. And it makes mess on the carpet and stuff. You're like, all right, this cat's getting old. This cat was older than that. Okay. Like its hair looked wiry and stuff.

So it was an old cat. But then someone, the caption was, my beautiful 28 an old cat. But then someone, the caption was, my beautiful 28-year-old cat. And I said, hold on a gosh darn second. Cat at 28. Like human years. Yeah. No.

And then I looked in the comments and people were like, there's no way. Like someone's lied to you or you're lying to us. Like there's no way a cat's 28 years old. And I Googled it. And the oldest cat, you've got it up there. What's the oldest cat? I just Googled, yeah. 30.

That's in the Guinness Book of World Records. Yeah. Yeah, it was born 1967 and lived until 2005, August. Okay, that's a long... 38. 38 years that was, sorry, yeah. And it was a world record breaker At 30 Sorry yeah Has anything come close? Well I don't think so

No Guinness needs to put Second and third in the book I've always said it So we can know It's great to have the world Show us who got close But didn't quite succeed

So I mean it could have been possible No It's just It wasn't And people were saying Why would you lie About the age of your cat Why would you lie about it

But I remember when you're a kid Don't you always lie about anything because you've got to have the oldest, like if someone's like, my cat's 10, you're like, well, my cat's 15. Or my dad had a cat that was 105. People aren't outdoing each other with lies about their cat's age. People always lie about their pets.

No. They lie about their pet's achievements. So, um, average age of an indoor cat is 13 to 17 years, but it's not uncommon for them to live to at least 20. So, Wikipedia have a list of the list of oldest cats. Go on!

So many! When do you get to 28? I'm down to place, okay, 28 is place 17. So this would be the 17th oldest cat in the history of cats. Yes. Okay, well, when you put it like that, it would be the 17th oldest cat in the history of cats. Yes. When you put it like that, it would be.

And they weren't making a big deal out of it. They were just like, at 28 years old, still beautiful. Right. No, you're saying no. Did you see a picture of that oldest cat? Like it's like... Like it was like, end it. Put me out of my misery. If it had a voice, it would be Serena McKellen.

Really ham it up, Ian McKellen. Put me out of my damned misery. I just don't think people are going to go out of their way to lie about how old their cat is. People love it when people without kids lie about their pets. I don't have kids. I've just got a cat and I don't lie about how old their cat is. People love it, but people without kids lie about their pets. I don't have kids. I've just got a cat and I don't lie about how old it is. You don't really, you're not that sort of person.

You don't care, but there are people who care what people think and think you lie about your pet. But I'm the opposite. Very specific. I'm like, someone's like, how old is he? I'll be like, he is two years and three months. But would you exaggerate something he'd done? Oh, 100%.

Yeah, see, that's what I'm saying. People lie about their pets. Right. Okay, so it might not be age, but what about like pets' achievements? Yeah, but parents do that with kids. I know, you exaggerate, so you're lying. Like my dog is so advanced.

I can imagine lying about your kids. Because genetically, you are the result of who you've chosen to breed with. Yeah. The long line of genetics that led to you and the person you've chose to breed with, it's to say the breeding was successful. But I chose my dog and I raised him. No, but it's not the same.

If little Timmy's dumb, it's because of the parents. That's your fault. It's your fault. Whereas the dog, that's nothing to do, why lie about it? Who cares? I've taught him to speak. Like, that's real smart.

Oh my God. It's not, it barks. And then when he goes, I'm like louder and he'll go, and I'm like, good boy.

He's real smart. So it's an ego thing. It's a control power thing. Yeah, my dog's better than your dog. 100%. Oh my God. I'd like to know,

this morning, on 800Dolls.me, you can text 9696, who's lying about their pet? Maybe it's the age, maybe it's the achievements, maybe it's what their pet's capable of. Right. But you know that it's, you're like, why are you lying about your pet? There's really no reason to. Come on.

But why are you? Okay, maybe you know someone that does. Yeah. Because I think people are going to be more likely to dub. Oh, no, that's what I'm expecting. I don't expect someone to ring up as a

confessional and be like, I've been telling people my cat's 100. I think they're on to me. ZM. ZM's Fletch,

Vaughn and Megan. 14 to 9, talking about people that lie about their pets. Whether or not that lie about their pets. Whether or not they lie about their pet's age or their achievements, it is a thing that people do for some weird reason. Some text messages in on people dobbing in others.

Right. Somebody said, this is actually true, but people always think it's made up. So here's the other side of it. My dog is the champ dog on the food rolls in the cans. Oh, really? And every time I'm at the supermarket with a friend, I point it out or if people are there, I'm like, that's my dog. But at least you can...

They're always like, ha, you're making that up. But it's true. You can back it up. Nah, because then people are like... What is the champ dog? Is it a German Shepherd? People are just saying it just looks like it. No, it's a Labrador, isn't it?

Oh, so they all look the same. Yeah. I'd claim that if I were them. But see, people use my cat on a lot of cat foods. I have seen your cat on biscuits. I mean, I know it's not because I can tell the difference, but you know. To the untrained eye. I could probably get away with saying it.

To the untrained eye. I could say my cat's a model. Some text messages in. Somebody said, I tell my friends that my puppy is the perfect puppy. Sleeps in her crate at night, but she actually sleeps in my bed 90% of the time and is the best little spoon ever. Why lie about that? That's cute.

Yeah, that's a weird one. You don't even justify to your friends. Samantha, this is your dad. What does he lie about? Hi. He lies about his dog. He's like she's the perfect angel. She cannot do any wrong and he loves her.

But she is like a little terror. She's destroyed a wooden door. She actually clawed her way through it and made a hole.

She's torn up carpet. She pees everywhere. I could see why you'd lie about that because then it makes you look like a bad dog owner. Like, you can't control it. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, I agree.

And, like, she can do it right in front of him. And we're like, look, look, she's done it. And he goes, no, no, that's just the other dog. What? It's illusional. Some poor dog's not doing anything wrong, but it's getting all the hate. My cat's like that, but I tell people my cat's an a-hole it hates me it ruins you're realistic about all these scratches on my hand

yeah that was this morning i mean that's i think you deserve that sometime yeah you've not reprimanded that child you can't tell them what uh somebody said as a vet i can tell you that pet owners are the biggest liars there are in the world like i say to them are you following the diet we gave your dog? It's not losing any weight. And they say, oh, my God, yes, to the letter. Definitely. I'm definitely following that diet 100%.

And they say cat owners are the same. Yeah. People are like, well, no, they were meowing. So they were obviously starving. And the vets are like, no, they're not. They're going to have themselves dead very early. If you watch Love Island, this is some good news because

scientists have weighed in onto what it means about you. So, what's his name? Max from the Institute for Made Up People Institute of Made Up Plays to Try to Justify Something. Megan, if you're going to

An Oxford Empirical Aesthetics Empirical aesthetics Yeah but it's an I Empirical I don't even know what that is But this guy

Well it already sounds like Legit scientific research Megan He's a researcher From an institute Who knows what he's talking about He said there's a reason Why people enjoy watching Bad TV and bad films And if you. He said there's a reason why people enjoy watching bad TV and bad

films and if you do enjoy it there's a high chance you are quite intelligent. Really? Yeah. So people who are... Really? Why are you looking at me like that when you say really? This is, of course, look at me. I'm so intelligent. And I watch

Long Island. So people with an above average education enjoy this kind of viewing because well they describe them as cultural omnivores so they're interested in a broad spectrum of art and media

and they like bad TV and bad movies because it can give them a break from it's escapism isn't it a high functioning brain

you know my brain's always just ticking over like oh yeah constantly going I need something like you know, to dumb it down a bit every now and then. Otherwise I just get mentally

exhausted. I know exactly what you're saying. You come home after a day curating a museum and Hey, alright Fortnite. You just go like pew pew pew pew pew. It's the same for you. Sweet child. She's got you there. Pew pew pew pew. There's strategy you there. She's got you there.

There's strategy. There's planning. I'm chopping in with the boys. We're chopping in with the boys. I'm going to hide in this bush so I'm invisible and I'm going to shoot them. Identifying team roles. Crucial tactical thinking. Golden Sniper Rival.

We're flexing our emotional muscle in our brain. We are too. We're playing right and I get shot I'm down James has to come back to resuscitate me I'm up all of a sudden I owe my life to this guy

communication communication's crucial he's down I'm trying to resuscitate him and someone snipes him I've just lost my best pal on the field of battle I've met so many new people

you know through Fortnite yeah you guys are sitting there by yourselves I've met Megan and we don't know why Ni and Liz and Niall left. Remember?

Niall left at the start of the season. We didn't know why. We had to go and use our brain and Google it. And then it was such a devastating thing. It was. We had to use our brain and Google it. One of my favourite quotes from the show. Maybe ever.

I had to use my brain and Google it. Do you know what? It's social studies. We're like, which side are you on? You know? Yes. I don't want to say relationship breakups in case people are a bit behind. It's not exactly studying like different sorts of social structures and constructs and cultures

though. It is. It's just trashy British people. You obviously haven't watched it. Some social studies class is going to break down Love Island soon. Yes. Maybe English as well. You know how they break down like, why did she look like that?

Proper muggy. Yeah the English Isn't going anywhere Near Love Island Because they're hardly Speaking it It's so good But social studies

You're right It would be a good Because you know how The teachers every now and then The clued up teacher Has to get the students Buying and they Like pick a topic

Familiar to them Yes I could see Love Island Being good for that Yeah I'd be so down Smart All right

ZDM's Fletch Vaughan and Megan The podcast For more Catch them every weekday I love Ireland being good for that. Yeah. I'd be so down. All right.