ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Megan Podcast - June 04 2019

Episode Date: June 3, 2019

Vaughan made an important purchase over the weekend, Fact Of The Day and when did people hate your haircut?See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

ZM. Head music. Lives here. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. Hello, good morning. Welcome to the show. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. Yes, good morning. It's a Tuesday, but it feels like a Monday. That we've gained a day or something. Haven't even thought about that. Yeah, no, you think a daylight savings when you gain an hour. I know, but in your mind

you can go, oh, it's Monday. Oh no, it's Tuesday. We're closer to the weekend. Unless you worked yesterday, Megan. Yeah. Which you did. Yeah. Yeah, but then you got paid a little extra little. Oh yeah. No, you don't. If you own the business, you don't get jacked. Oh God, here we go.

Here we go. You just have to pay more. I'd talk back upstairs, mate, if you want to go for a winch about how hard it is to run a business. Did you have a surcharge? No. No. So you have to pay the people that worked yesterday time and a half and a day in lieu. Yeah.

And you weren't even on the Queen's birthday honours list. That's a real slap on the face. God. That's real tough. Yeah, it's tough out here for a hust list. That's a real slap on the face. God. That's real tough. Yeah. It's tough out here for a hustler. Here's a can of drink for you. That has been opened and that is empty.

Yep. Yep. Ouch. Yep. Sorry about that. I don't want anyone to think I've just had a can of fizz. This is some filthy mongrel who used the studio over the weekend and has left their rubbish here.

That's not fizzy. That's fizzy water. It's like sparkling water. Yeah. Still fizzy. Can't drink fizzy this time of the morning, even if it's soda water. I could drink it any time of the day.

Mouth static. How was your weekend, Fletch? It was great. Thank you, Megan. Super, super fabulous. Went to Melbourne. Yeah, pretty quiet on the ground. How was your weekend, Fletch? It was great. Thank you, Megan. Yeah. Super, super fabulous. Went to Melbourne. Yeah.

Pretty quiet on the ground. How was it? Oh, it was actually colder than New Zealand. Melbourne's a bit like that though, right? Yeah. Real changey. You have to find someone to snuggle with, stay warm, body warm. No, there was... We're not getting any details.

Another report on that front. Very cagey. There was heating in the room, which is fantastic. And what form? There's one on the front. Very cagey. There was heating in the room, which is fantastic. And what form? There's one on the wall. Alright, one that you had to turn on?

Yeah. I hope you didn't put them against the wall for too long. Oh, God. Actually, speaking of Melbourne, Melbourne Tradies wore it. Did they?

Over the weekend. Jesus. Against the wall? No, they have been ridiculed by even our very own New Zealand Tradies. And I thought we could talk about this soon. If there's one thing Tradies love, it's ripping into other Tradies. It is. Fact.

It is. And one thing we love is ripping into Australians. Right, so get ready. All right, you lot, listen up. It is. Fact. It is. And one thing we love is ripping into Australians. Yeah. Right, so get ready. All right, you lot, listen up. It's story time. Three news headlines. Vaughan and Megan decide which headline we choose, decide, pick, and go into.

Headline one, same, same, but different. Headline two, YouTuber gets calmer. And headline three, father of the year. Ooh, same, same, but different. That's a classic Southeast Asian pork is market-y situation,

isn't it? Oh, no, I saw that down the road for cheaper. They're like, same, same, but different. Yeah. Oh, no, thanks, mate. I've got one of those.

Same, same, but different. Yeah. Is this legit? Yeah. Ah, same, thanks, mate. I've got one of those. Same Same But Different. Yeah. Is this legit? Yeah. Same Same But Different. So, yeah. This Rolex, it ticks. I thought they were supposed to be silent.

No, no, no. It's the new ones. Same Same But Different. But then YouTuber gets karma. I'm father of the year. I'd have any of those. Hold on. I think I want Same Same

Because I think I know you The YouTube Karma Is this the YouTuber That put toothpaste Inside of a biscuit An Oreo

Yes Oh yeah And fed it to a A person A homeless person Yeah And now they've been fined Some phenomenal amount

Of money aren't they Yeah like I think 30,000 euros Yeah I read they were going to prison Yeah and I think 30,000 euros. Yeah. I read they were going to prison. Yeah, and I think there's a little prison stint. They might be having a little stint.

On what charges though? Like 15-month prison sentence. 15 months! Being a dickhead. And must pay 20,000 euros. Yeah, it's a new law in Europe, being a dickhead. We're screwed, guys. Everybody behave at Oktoberfest.

Wow. Wow. Yeah. On what was the charge? Like, humiliation? Like, intentional? So he's unlikely to serve any time behind bars, as Spanish law normally allows sentences under two years for first-time offenders in non-violent crimes to be suspended. Right.

So he may not. It's just a token. Yeah. But I can't see the charge. Right. Okay. So yeah, same, same, but different then. Okay.

Same, same, but different. Mm-hmm. All right. We go now to America. Disable my ad blocker. I'm sorry about this. Sorry about this, guys. Journalism is not free at the Military Times, it turns out.

The Military Times? Oh. The Military Times. Yes. Where this story is posted. Okay. The Department of Defence. Yep.

Bought phony military gear made in China, including counter night vision clothing that didn't actually work. So I didn't know this, but you can actually buy clothing that when you put on those night vision goggles. Yeah. They run on infrared. Infrared. That you can wear something that will counteract those. Did you know that?

No. How do you counteract it? Well, you have to buy these special garments. Very interesting. Or tops, I believe. Yes, I'll hear more. They purchased more than $20 million worth of Chinese-made counterfeit goods. Now, these were designed to look like domestically produced gear

from a company that defrauded the government and helped to orchestrate the counterfeiting process between the period of January 2013 and October 2018. But they've only announced it last week. Now, apparently the counterfeit gear included 200 specialised parkas designed to counter night vision goggles that would have been used by US air personnel stationed in Afghanistan. Right. So,

apparently they put their lives at risk because they use these in combat. Yeah. Oh my God. They can see them when they're going to shoot them. But yeah, same, same, but different. So, I mean, even the, you know,

you might feel bad because you've been to Thailand or a Southeast Asian country and bought a Pete's by Dre or something and got it home and it wasn't legit. Well,

you're not the only one. Was this like an online shopping fail? Did they not check that the website had a returns policy or something? I don't know

if they met with them and they said, yeah, we're legit, we've got the right stuff. They should have had a like, yeah, you get a sample. If you're ordering $200, get a little sample. Get a little goodie.

Well, that's when they. But that's like at the markets. You get asked to see it and they show you the legit thing. And then you get your box filled with sand, don't you? Yeah. Or a rock. Or a rock, yeah. And it weighs the same as an iPhone and then you get it it home, and yeah, yeah, you've been scammed.

But that happens to somebody who doesn't know better, not the military in the US. Goodness me. Nuts. That is expensive. Melbourne had a really cold May. It's coldest in nearly 20 years. And one specific day really led that.

Melbourne got very, very cold. I couldn't believe when I was there at the weekend. Freezing. Colder than here. And if it gets a wind on, it's cold. For an Australian city, you know, all the others, it's not nearly as cold as Melbourne can get. Well, it's been revealed that Melbourne tradies,

if it gets to one degree, that's Celsius, they get to take the day off. It was revealed that health and safety guidelines by the Victorian Trades Hall Council, outdoor workers will be stood by on full pay if it gets to one degree. So that doesn't count if you're an indoor tradie. But if you're an outdoor tradie, you can say to your boss, I'm out. It's one degree. Damn it. Now, I don't...

I'm looking around the temperatures around the country at the moment. It's not that cold. Around New Zealand? Not cold enough to get a day off in Melbourne. Not yet, but it will. The climate of Melbourne and the record low in Melbourne's minus 2.8.

And that's in the midst of winter. Yep. And that's the record low. It, the coldest it's ever been. Right. So you wouldn't think one degree, it wouldn't be getting down to one. I've never seen snow in Melbourne. No. But if it gets below nine degrees, which would happen regularly.

And happened last week. Yeah, they add an extra 30 minutes to their breaks. So they can have every break they are entitled to, they can add 30 minutes to it. So if they get an hour for lunch, it's an extra 30 minutes to their breaks. So they can have every break they are entitled to, they can add 30 minutes to it. So if they get an hour for lunch, it's an hour 30 now. Warm up with a bit of soup. Stay inside. Yeah.

Or just drive down to KFC and get hot food that way. But news, of course, of this broke. Because I'm guessing people didn't know outside of Melbourne that this was even a thing. Or are these new rules? No, no, they've been around for a while okay yeah well I'm guessing because it was so cold last week and this was in the news well it went worldwide and tradies around the world were just like love ripping into other tradies yeah uh and they said in Sweden Sweden uh outdoor laborers they get to stop when it reaches negative 20 degrees Celsius.

Oh, good lord. An American worker from the north of America said they are not even like sure, unless they're snowed in and literally can't get to their job, they're always expected to be at work. British people said that's pretty much summer holiday Temperatures In Britain Keep on working Somebody said I go to work when it's 45 degrees below In Canada

Oh my god Yep Outdoor tradie there What do you even wear to counter that? You'd have to wear like a full on Like ski suit And then how are you going to do your job? My dad always went to work in shorts

Was your dad the same? Dad always yeah Even in winter All through winter You'd just be like What are you going to do your job? My dad always went to work in shorts. Was your dad the same? Dad always, yeah. Even in winter. All through winter. You just feel like, what are you doing? Wear some pants. He feels like people are calling him soft when he wears jeans or something, or wears pants.

He's like, I don't think I'm bloody soft. But also, my dad's big thing about it was you lose a bit of your limber. You've got to be quite limber and ready to go at any moment and like a long pant can stifle your agility. How much does he need to do the splits? He's right though. Have you ever seen Track and Field at the Olympics wearing pants? He doesn't do it anymore, but he used to get over the fence,

like an electric fence by the scissor jump. You could get him some skins or something. Oh, what's in your dad? Two XU compression pants. Yeah. Imagine your dad on the farm in skins. And then remember

to tell him that he needs to wear shorts over top. Otherwise, just skin him off. No, just let it all happen. But it's cold. You've got to remember

it's cold enough to require long pants. Oh my God, that would be brilliant. Those are like flexy ass. I don't know how just farming in general, I don't know how compression pants in general I don't know how

compression pants would go down amongst the farming community. Just go there mate. Well you've got to have someone leading the pack you know. Making that first

initial fashion statement. Farmer influencer. Are there any farmers listening that farm in compression pants and then have the stubbies and tights

have the stubbies over the top. I would. Surely that thermals. Okay, I'm pretty sure I've seen farmers sort of your high country lot. Yeah. I'm pretty sure I've seen thermals or shorts over the top. Yep.

But not like full-blown compression. Why not? Treat yourself. You're out there working hard. Yeah. It's good for your muscles. Keeps you warm. You'd have to get a couple of pairs, though, because they get dirty pretty quickly.

They get stanky. They get stanky. Take them in. Yeah, g'day, love. Could you put a bloody wash on? Not hot. I've read the tag. And don't tumble dry them.

Oh, for crying out loud. Flesh, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. ZM. Okay. Big kids' pants on. We're going to talk about a study that has been done. And it was a big one.

A 645 straight women from 21 countries took part. So, yeah, a lot of women. What countries? A fifth of them from the UK. But it doesn't actually say where the rest were from. But a UK-based study? So we're thinking more maybe progressive Europe. Maybe.

Yeah, maybe. So, yeah, it's a little woman. They were asked to – this would have been such a mood killer. They gave them a stopwatch, and when they became excited, they could start the stopwatch. What constitutes excitement? Are you talking about sexy times in the bedroom? Yeah.

Okay, right. But what constitutes excitement and when do I start the stopwatch? Hands on. Well, when you... Initiation. Yeah, initiation. Initiation. So they're like, are you going to kiss me, Patrick?

Hold on a moment. I'm just thinking about it. I can feel something happening down there. Click, go. Beep. Sure. And then Patrick's like, well, this isn't off-putting at all. Imagine having to press the stopwatch.

Let me get down to it. Yeah, yeah. Okay, right. Sorry. Beep. So, yeah, and they had to stop it again once they. Does Patrick know it's a race? Or are they by themselves?

Does Patrick know what's going on? No race. Okay, it's not a race, but she's like, I've had to stop it again once they... Does Patrick know it's a race? Or are they by themselves? Does Patrick know what's going on? No race. Okay, it's not a race, but she's like, I've got the stopwatch. We're doing this thing. I have to time how long it takes me to... End the game. End the game.

Right. Yep. Summit the mountain. So does Patrick... Is Patrick even there? Yeah. Or is it, like, by themselves? No, it's meant to be.

This is the worry of it. A guy thinks it's a race, he's just going to be like just overexerting himself and not hitting any of the milestones along the way. It's just trying to find out on average how long it took women to finish the game. I fully know that's the intention, but you've invited a male to it and in his mind he's just picturing other males all competing for the time record. Can I say that O word?

Because there's a scientific... Oprah. Yeah. So they're looking at the Oprah-smic... Right. Orgasmic. Latency.

Right. So that is the gap between starting the game and ending the game. Right. Oh, this is hard. Did they find an average time? Yes.

I'm getting there. So the average time is 13 minutes and 25 seconds. That is the average time. Jeez, Patrick. Do you know? So it ranged between 5 minutes and 42 seconds to just. That was the quickest. Yeah.

To just over 21 minutes. And then one in six of participants said they never finished the game, if you get what I'm saying. I've heard this. Patrick was tapping out. He's like, I'm done. Patrick, work as hard as he may. What's the time, Patrick?

Keep your head in the game, buddy. It's something that some females can't do. Bull. Bull. No, it's true, buddy. It's something that some females can't do. Bull. Bull. No, it's true. No. It's something that the partner hasn't successfully. No, no.

It's people who have had multiple partners and can't. No, remember there was that lady that did the podcast who had never had one and subsequently got one because of the podcast. Because she spoke to so many experts. You knew that, Caitlin. Yeah, but that doesn't mean she can't have one. That means she didn't have anyone. No, no, she'd locked it off.

She'd shut off this part of her brain, right? And until she just forgot Patrick and went solo, she had to do all that to figure out she could. And then since, she said she has been able to with partners. But I know someone, well I've got a few friends, even solo. I know, I've heard of this as well. So it's not

always with someone else. It's a wild goose chase. But they just can't. Don't use those people as your excuse for incompetency. No, but like we're saying is that, no, it's not me. I'm not

chasing any geese, thank you very much. I'm a hunter. I get a goose every time I hunt. Oh, yuck. No, I don't hunt very often. I don't hunt too often. But everybody's eating goose when I'm hunting. Oh my gosh.

It's a goose. How do I take out of this break? Eat your Christmas goose I'm hunting, baby. Oh, my gosh. It's a goose. It's a goose. How do I take that off this break? Eat your Christmas goose. Eat it, Megan. How do I take that off? I'm hunting a goose. And it's not a wild goose, Chase. Caitlin's speaking, Gordon.

Caitlin's speaking. No, I don't want to anymore. But you agree with me. You agree there are people who... Yeah, well, I know. I have many conversations. Yeah, but I don't think we can write off the one in six, every female in this survey,

just because saying that they were incapable of. How many times did they try? Also, maybe assistance required wasn't given, if you know what I mean. I just know for a fact there's people that can't. Yeah, okay. Because it's like you think there's seven billion people on this planet.

There'll be something. You imagine the weirdest in your mind, the most unusual facet, there'll be somebody into it, and there'll be somebody who can't, for example, chase geese. I'm so lost in this analogy. I think I know where you're going, but I could tell by that smile on his face.

I hear you exactly what I'm talking about when I said if you can imagine it, somebody's into it. He's like, yeah, shit, yeah. You're telling me, mate. You're telling me. This has been fun. We've all learnt something. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast.

A man who can... A man who can juggle. No. What are you struggling on? I'm going to go and get one more. A man who can juggle. Judge? A man who conducts many job interviews.

Really? You went in with a J sound. You really did. I don't know. Yeah. He conducts many job interviews. Yeah, right. Has said one of his best tests for future employees

is he'll make them a hot beverage or a beverage of their choosing. Perhaps they'd like a cold drink of water. Because that's, when you go somewhere like that for a meeting or something, you don't want to be too much of a hassle unless there's like a specific person

standing there with a pen and a paper and they're like, I'm doing coffees. You're like, I'll have one. But if someone's just like, oh, do you want a coffee? I'm always like, oh, no, no, no. Do you want a water? I'm like, yeah, okay, yeah, yeah, that'll be fine.

I get nothing. I'm just like, I don't want anyone to get me anything. I'm all good. That seems to me a chance to spill some mochaccino on my, you know, job interview clothes. Or I have to drink out of like a manky cup. Like an office manky, manky office cup. So his test

is he'll get somebody a drink and then at the end of the interview, if they walk away and just leave like the cup sitting on the table, rather than saying, whereabouts should I put this? Or where can I put this? Or just taking it with and noting where the kitchen was and putting it in the dishwasher or giving it a rinse. He knows that they're not for him.

Nah, say. They wouldn't even, wouldn't even, like, what, you could be the best candidate for the job and have the best history, work history.

Yeah, yeah. But if you left the coffee cup on the table without even thinking. I think about it now, if I get a disposal, I always, like, take it with me.

Right. Yeah. Or I play with it so much during the meeting or talky thing that I just end up like ripping it, destroying it, and I have to like embarrassingly crumple it up and put it in my pocket because everyone's like, why is he torn that to shreds?

What's going on with that guy? That's the act of a psychopath. Yeah. But then I hide it like any good psychopath. Put it in my pocket. And I'm like, I'll sniff you later. This guy sounds like the guy that puts up those passag notes at the kitchen. No, he's looking for someone who's considerate.

Thorough. And thorough. And follows it up. Doesn't expect people to clean up after them, like work-wise as well, as like literally just leaving cups around. You know? You know I'd be a better test? What?

I'm thinking about people that work here. Go in after they go number twos and see if they did the toilet brush, used the toilet brush, because nobody here does. No one's doing number twos in a job interview. Just wait. You might be nervous, though. And you know when you're nervous, this happens if you're like, I've got to poo, I've got to get this out of this.

And then your body just like shuts up shop. Yeah. And then it gets to the point you get there and it's like, I can't hold it anymore. And you're like, I told you. Body, we couldn't do this. Well, here's another one. Ten options in trays for reheating your lunch.

There's fish, tuna, all kinds of different flavours. I wouldn't reheat tuna. And you say to them, okay, pick one of those reheated in the microwave. And if they go for a fishy one or a yuck one, you don't get the job. I don't heat my lunch. I tend to go for like a cool salad. I'll give you the job. Thank you.

You're not stinking out there. No, but what if she has a stanky salad? You're out. What if it's an anchovy salad? Also, your guilty of like all of these, apart from poos, I don't know about the poos, but you always heat up smelly food and you always leave your coffee cups around. You always leave everything around.

Again, proof that this isn't, you know, the best tactic. Because I'm a fantastic worker. I never have a sick day. Wow. Great for morale around this place. I mean, you're still learning the buttons after however many years,

but you'll get there, eh? No, he's forgetting the buttons. Oh, forgetting the buttons. He's gone down the other side. He's down the other side of the hill now. So we have to ship him off to one of those radio stations. Was that just to show us that you knew how to turn them off? Yeah, like, I can turn that off too.

We're going to have to ship him off to one of those radio stations where somebody's just pushing the buttons. You know that person, or their only job is to push the buttons. Oh, guys. And he always gets the time wrong as well. It's quarter to nine. Yeah. No, it's not.

It's 13 to 11. From the ZM Think Tank, this is the top six. It was in 2001, January 2001, that Apple launched iTunes, promising a store where you'd be able to buy music, where you could burn in CDs to have them put onto your iPod music player. It soon moved into videos and podcasts and everything else. Well, apparently iTunes is going to be no more. Well, because you can just have Apple Music.

Apple Music is going to be the music situation. And apparently there's going to be different apps for the different products. So your podcast and your TV, your video. Apple videos. Yeah. So it'll all split up. There is already a podcast app on your phone.

Yeah. There's like a video one as well. So I'm guessing it's kind of been double dipping for a while. So apparently iTunes, it might be an end to iTunes. Their Facebook page has been wiped of all photographs, videos and posts. Huh. Yeah. R.I.P.

So it looks like it's happening. R.I.P. iTunes. But this isn't the first time that Apple products have gone by the way. It's been around for a long time and it's had many misses before it had successes. These are the top six Apple iProducts that no longer exist. Number six, the iCrowave. In the 80s, Apple tried to hand it microwaves. It was the big cooking phase, so they got in on that.

But the iCrowave was discontinued when people thought it was for microwaving crows. And nobody eats crows anymore. So they said ta-ta to the iCrow wave. Number five on the list of the top six

Apple products that no longer exist, the iFloppy. Yeah. This was a floppy disk. For those of us who remember the 90s, there was a little disk

and you'd put it into the computer and it would hold one megabyte. Wow. Is that how much its? Yeah. There was a little disc and you'd put it into the computer and it would hold one megabyte. Wow. Is that how much it held? Yeah. Wow. It was nuts. You could put like a Word document on there,

but you couldn't go too nuts with your publisher borders. Oh, yeah. Or it'd be too much for the flop. Because some games, you needed two discs to load it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Like insert second disc.

Oh, now we're talking. Yeah. Now we're talking. The Hobbit was one of those games. You'd run cat and it'd be like... It sounds like it's now we're talking. Yeah. Now we're talking. The Hobbit was one of those games. You run cat and it'd be like. Sounds like it's going to take off. Yeah. And then it'd be like, I need disc two.

But the iFloppy failed to take off when people couldn't ask for an iFloppy at the disc without. Yeah, nice. iFloppy? Not a good thing to put out there. So that went, by the way. Number four on the list of the top six other Apple products that no longer exist, iPages. Whoever had those?

I mean, doctors, that's okay. Anyone else? Calm down, you're not in that much need. It's the 1980s, and Apple had apple-shaped ones, so they were cute, but they never really, yeah, caught on. Number three on the list of the top six other Apple products that no longer exist, in the 90s, they tried to get on board a craze that swept the nation with a Tamagotchi. It was like Tamagotchi.

Aren't those coming back? Yeah. They've been back like four or five times since. Yeah. The Tamagotchis, you think you're done, and then like a new one pops up. Yeah. And then they're getting more and more advanced as well. You can do different things.

Was it the last one had a pedometer in it? And so you had to walk your Tamagotchi? Oh, okay. That's quite cool. I kind of want one. Or just hold on to it and frantically shake it for a while. Imagine if it could tell the difference and then your Tamagotchi's brain damaged because you shook it.

Never shake a Tamagotchi. No, never. Anyway, the Tam-I-Gotchi, it joined a market too late in the game. Yeah. It was a flooded market. Number six on the top six Apple products that no longer exist,

number two, iCalc watches. Oh, yeah. Which is like a calculator watch, but it was the iCalculator watch. And that's why they didn't call Apple watches iWatches, by the way. Really? Because they'd already tainted the name

with the iCalc watch. And the number one on today's top six of the Apple products that no longer exist because iTunes shutting down after 18 years, iNal. It was the Apple take on vinyl. But you take the V away from vinyl. Yeah. iNal.

It sounds like something else. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, you'd walk into a record store and be like, I'm interested in some iNal. You. Yeah. I mean, you'd walk into a record store and be like, I'm interested in some I know. You? Do you deal out the I know?

Yeah. I want to take the I know. Yeah. And you can see how the problem was with that. You put an I in front of everything. It doesn't always work. So that is today's top six. Fleshforn and Megan, the podcast.

ZM. So a couple of weeks ago, there was a couple of sleep-ins. I slept in twice in one week. We've got to the bottom of it. It's when you are listening to music on your phone connected to a Bluetooth device and you just turn off the Bluetooth device and so your phone's like, pause the music. Yeah.

And for some reason that makes it, your alarm sound, try to find a Bluetooth device to play through. In the morning. But it doesn't go through your speaker. So the alarm goes off, but it doesn't make any sound. It's a big loophole. We found videos of people online on Reddit.

Showing how it works. Showing how it works. Yeah. Which was really great because then I could totally be like, see? Up until then. No one believed me. I was like, look, I'm sitting screen caps. I'm like, look, look, look, look.

Everyone's like, okay, guy. I believed you, but I also thought it was classic that it happened to you and none of us. The guilty wheel squeaks the loudest. Yeah. Does it? Does it? Squeak, squeak.

So I thought Well I better get a backup Because I haven't had a beside my bed alarm clock For a long time Like a clock radio Like a clock radio Yeah this has got the radio So I didn't want to spend too much money

Of course you didn't So it means it's got like three buttons All up And one of them you've got to somehow I threw away the manual in the box Of course you didn't So it means it's got like three buttons all up Right And one of them you've got to somehow Look, I threw away the manual in the box So I don't know how the radio thing But I don't want the radio

I just want it to be like No, I actually want it to be the radio Because the other option is Meep, meep, meep, meep, meep, meep And when you get up early and your partner doesn't That's probably pretty torturous It's pretty But you get up

Yeah, well But that's the kind ofurous. But you get up, yeah, well, you wouldn't. But that's the kind of alarm you're not snoozing three times. No, no, heavens no, you get a punch in the throat if that happens at four o'clock in the morning. So I bought a nine dollar alarm clock. Of course you did. So here's,

we stayed somewhere recently in a hotel and it had an alarm clock beside the bed and that's where I was like, I could do with one of those because another thing is like, I always wake up, I'm like, oh my God, what time is it? How much longer have I got? Have I got much more sleep? And I roll over and I push my phone and I'm like, okay, it's good.

And I clock my phone again and then, but if I could just wake up and open my eyes and see the time and then go back to sleep, that would be even better. No, but I always have to cover those because it lights up the room and then it's just constantly there. Well, we stayed in a hotel with work recently and it had one and it wasn't bright and it was really like big letters, big numbers. But it was dim.

For your old eyes. And that's great because it's like, you know, but it's really big and you can only, you've got blurry eyes and you can read the time and you can just shut your eyes again. And I was like, this is great. And it wasn't bright. So in the store, there was one there and it was plugged in. And I was like, this is great. And it wasn't bright. So in the store there was one there and it was plugged in and I was like, that's actually not bright

at all. This is great. And on one of the three buttons doubles the snooze button when the alarm's not going, doubles as a brightness changer. Oh, okay. So I clicked that and it went even less bright. Oh, okay. Dimmer is the other word for less bright. Yeah, that's fancy for nine. I know, right? And it's blue.

The display's blue. A calming blue. And blue light's fancy for nine. Good Lord. I know, right? And it's blue. The display is blue. A calming blue. And blue light's good for you, right? But unless it's LED, because LED light's only good for you, are they? No, you're not supposed to look in the blue light before you go to bed. Right. On your phone. That's why it goes to that orange.

Oh, okay. So a blue alarm clock would be bad. No, because the blue was the same in the hotel room. I had the blue. It was blue and it wasn't quite as bright as the red. Yeah, right. As previous alarm clocks. I was like, this is great.

Yeah. So I took it home and Sade's first words were, that's big. That's going to be bright. And I said, no. I looked at it in the store. It was dim and then I can make it dimmer. Was it styley? Was it $9 styley?

Because I can't imagine your wife's going to let you put some clunky, gross looking alarm clock. Oh, and it's my side of the room. Yeah, I was about to say his side of the bed. My side of the bed. I'm allowed to do it. It's like, it's not bad for you imagining like,

oh, horrible thing for $9. I am, yeah. It's kind of like long, looks like a Yui Boom laid down. Oh, okay.

Like it's that sort of long, tubular look but it sits flat and it's got the big numbers. Okay. And so I was like, oh no, it was dim and she said, yeah, but it sits flat and it's got the big numbers. Okay. And so I was like, oh no, it was dim. And she said, yeah,

but you were looking at under those like bright lights, those fluoro massive like bright lights in the warehouse. I was like, you bring a very good point to the table. I'll plug it in and I'll check. So I plugged it in and it was, I was like, see, that's not too bad. And she said, turn the light off. So we turned the light off and it was like,

we're at a blue light disco, baby. It is lighting up the entire room. And I was like, see, that's not too bad. And she said, turn the light off. So we turned the light off and it was like, we're at a blue light disco, baby. It is lighting up the entire room. And I was like, fear not, I'll press the dimming button. Press the dimming button, nothing changes. It does go, but it doesn't go like dim, dim. It goes nothing dim, like a tiny, like little bit dimmer. I was like, well, maybe it's just bright because we're just not used to it.

So we tried sleeping with her on about halfway through the night. She rolled over and she was like, flip bit dimmer. I was like, well, maybe it's just bright because we're just not used to it. So we tried sleeping with it on about halfway through the night. She rolled over and she was like, flip that thing face down. Because I do this when I stay in, like, hotels and motels. I'll unplug them. I hate any light in the room.

Any light. That actually makes more sense. I spend ages trying to find something that'll cover it. Like, I end up putting, like, clothes on it and stuff. But you could just flip it face down or just pull it out of the wall. Or unplug it. Or I just put it under the

bed so it don't stab. And then I'm like, God, what if it catches on fire? I'm unplugging it. Rather than being slightly kept awake by a bright light for a little bit while trying to sleep, I'll risk a fire. Well, no, because I just imagine the poor, like, the people that clean the rooms would have to plug it in and reset it. And, you know, resetting the time,

it's just like you've got to hold this button down. Because I'm assuming nobody puts a 9-volt battery in, so it has its memory. So my solution, my immediate solution the next day was I'm going to put, it's so bright it will surely shine through this masking tape I've got. So I put masking tape. Oh, my God. Over it over it. It's called masking tape for a reason. It masks the light completely.

So then I got some clear tape and put clear tape over it and coloured it in with a vivid. Yeah, right. Great success. So you have, right, okay. So now you've got a $9 alarm clock with masking tape over it and like black vivid all over the tape.

And you know like it goes, you know when you colour it? Very, very chic. How does Sade like this? It's that look we're going for. It's like French farmhouse. You know, like that's kind of what we're looking to do with the place when we renovate French farmhouse. And I just think my alarm clock with masking tape over it

and then coloured the masking tape in with black vivid, it just screams French farmhouse and I just think my alarm clock with masking tape over it and then coloured the masking tape in with Black Vivid, it just screams French farmhouse. Right, can you see the time though when you wake up? Yeah, look, I probably need to do it again and concentrate on making it a slightly more even spread

because I cut the bottoms off. I went too dark on the bottom so the bottom lines of the numbers aren't perfect. Right. This is a work in progress. This is a WIP. I'll have a whip around.

Wow. I'm probably actually just going to get some of that brown wrapping tape. I'm going to try some of that. Buy a roll of that. But then I've got a whole roll of that. But you can always use some tape, can't you? Just buy a different alarm clock. Try again. No. Spend $9. I'm not giving up on this bad boy. I was going to say you can take

it back to the warehouse, but you've kind of coloured it in. No, I'm... The screen's got a lot of sticky residue on it. I was going to say, you can take it back to the warehouse, but you've kind of coloured it in. No, I'm, yeah, the screen's got a lot of sticky residue on it. I don't want to answer those questions. Flesh, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast, ZM. So, a geneticist, oh, damn it,

geneticist? Geneticist. Geneticist. A geneticist. Geneticist. Yes. We're learning. It's our parents to not bother doing something

because it's literally just in your DNA anyway. If you're spending money on sending your child to a private school, it's not going to change how well they do academically. Yeah, because you still get the better drugs at private school, don't you? Yeah, yeah, yeah. You learn better, but you also get a higher grade of cocaine. So it's obviously that will work against

all those hours you put in when you're at primary school when you hit high school. Yeah, totally. And I mean, you're just going to write off an Audi versus writing off a Toyota, so. Yeah.

I mean, it all comes out in the wash, you know? Even Stevens, as we say in the biz. Or laugh about it at a vineyard. Someday, won't we? Where your dad takes you to celebrate the fact that his high-rolling lawyer mate just got you off a drink driving charge on the way home from the ball. You smashed the Audi.

This will be really on the money for someone. Someone's listening to me like, uh-oh, they know. They're talking very specifically. They're on the phone, they're like, Dad, get Brian back who they know. Someone broke the NDA, Father. So apparently genetics has already predetermined how well you do academically. And sending you to a private school or a public school,

it won't make a difference. But if you want your kid to be I guess high in society and taught to act the right sort of way and associate with the right type of people, then a

private school is the right thing to do. Because it definitely gives you a leg up socially but it won't make you smarter. This is what this Jeanette dude. Oh, it's fine. If you want to learn, you're going to learn, right? Jean dude has said. The smart Jean dude.

Smart Jean dude, private or publicly educated? I don't actually know. Well, he's a professor, so, I mean. It sounds to me like he was publicly educated and he's got an axe to grind. Yeah. He's like, you think you're so great? I went through it did the hard yards. But they need,

they should look at, like, people who are very successful in the world and look at their education, whether it's private and public. But then I guess,

well, you know, and then, like you said before, socially, and you make your connections and everything at private schools. Yeah, right. Yeah.

So if you're a dummy, a private school might be good because then you just get your leg up from who you know. Yep, bingo. Yeah. So if you're a dummy, a private school might be good because then you just get your leg up from who you know. Yep, bingo. Yeah. Bingo. But for us smart people,

we just go to public school. Oh, we did the hard grind, mate. We still ended up here. Here we are, publicly schooled, not got any connections to anybody with decent cocaine. I bought a $35 bottle of whiskey at the weekend.

Not ashamed. And not driving Audis either. Oh, God, no. No, no. Hondas. Wait, do you think $35 is expensive or cheap? I thought it was a litre. I was absolutely stoked.

Like, I saw it and I gasped. I was like, $35 for a litre of whiskey? You're coming home with me immediately. You delicious little bastard. I'm right here. I could hardly contain myself when I got to the car. Sharlay's like, what are you so excited about? I was like, I just bought a litre of whiskey for $35

and we're not even in duty free. She's like, will you go blind drinking it? I was like, well, I don't know. The jury's out. Let's go home and see. And you know what? Still got? Eyesight.

Eyesight. Taste buds, not so much. Waste your money on your 15-year-old bottles of whiskey and your fancy whiskey clubs. I got boozed at my own house for $35. And I've still got more left. I didn't even finish it all. So that's a $10 night out, guys, basically.

Good news. You're so public schooled. I know. And proud of it. What a great podcast so far, wouldn't you agree, Fletch? Yes. And it's all thanks to Spark. Get one gig of bonus data with the Spark U25 pack.

Now, back to the podcast a man in the uk um he got sent home because it was 30 degrees which is crazy for the uk but i heard they're in like this mini heat wave and some of the cricket have you seen some of the world cup cricket that's going on it's hard to believe it's in the united kingdom you're like is that blue sky i know what the blood and then you see the crowd and they're all like red ass because they've been sunburned, because they've been exposed to like the sun for two minutes. And you're like, it is the UK.

Yeah. Must be having some wonderful weather. Well, he got sent home because he was in shorts. And his company has a work policy that you're not allowed to wear shorts. You have to wear a formal long pant. However, for female employees, dress is perfectly acceptable. Right.

So he went home, got his girlfriend's dress, put it on and wore it back so that he could enjoy the exposed knee down of the short but in the comfort of a full dress. And what, this has gone viral? Yeah. Brilliant. Does he look good in the dress? Not too bad. And what, this has gone viral. Yeah. Brilliant. Does he look good in the dress?

Not too bad. Okay, you're right. Not too bad. I expected when I first read it to be sort of like a longer summer dress. Yeah, okay. It's quite short. I'd say mid-thigh it came down to. Wait, is that long enough?

Mid-thigh. No, that's like a mini. That's between your knee and your hip, right? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So halfway down there. And yeah, really loving life. But was he told off for that?

No. That's a life hack, isn't it? He wasn't told off, but they did then make it that you are now allowed to wear a longer short if you're a lad. You're allowed to wear a short, but it's got to go to the knee right for a more formal look as opposed to a hipster short short as opposed to a walking short a hipster or an old guy that drives buses short yeah right which is much of a shorter short good victory for him though yeah have you ever worn a dress no i've worn a kilt just momentarily i'm not one of those people that puts one on and is like, I'm wearing this everywhere now.

But I wore it and I did like it. I did like the... I remember you guys wore Anna and Elsa. Remember when you dressed up as Anna? That's right. Yeah, but that wasn't for very long. I was too concentrating on how tight that was around the buzz rather than enjoying the flowing freedom of the dress.

Hospital gown. Oh, yeah. You're getting there. Semi like a dress, isn't it? You're getting there. That's very loose though. Yeah. Those baggy pants that I bought in Southeast Asia that time,

they were, again, almost dress-like, but they were tied around, they were like elasticated around the ankle. What happened to those? Because you said you were going to wear those every day. Oh, I did wear them every day and then they just mysteriously disappeared. All right, so Shardang got a hold of them.

Yes, she did. She got rid of them. Yeah. Yeah. She didn't like me leaving the house with them. They were fine to put on when a hold of them. Yes, she did. She got rid of them. She didn't like me leaving the house with them. They were fine to put on when you first get out of bed, she said. But not leave the house.

No, they can't leave the house. Right. Donald Trump is in the UK at the moment. He's been to Buckingham Palace. He's called the mayor of London, a stone cold loser. Welcome to London. Making friends wherever he goes.

Didn't he call Meghan Markle nasty? Or is that an old beef? Yeah, nasty piece of work, but that could be. No, he was on tape calling her nasty and then said, I didn't call her nasty, fake news. Okay, mate. But there's a tape of you calling, yeah. Yeah, fake news.

So just before he left, he debuted a new hairstyle, which is a brave move for a 75 or 76-year-old. He's like, I'm just going on my OE and this is my look now. And everyone was like, what the? I can't believe someone managed to talk him into that. Or did he just walk out of the bathroom one day and was like, ta-da. People are saying because he surprised

the church and walked in and he had his hat on. They're just saying it's hat hair. If you look at it, it looks like it's been wet. And he always looks very well dried But I just wonder if he didn't expect To have to take his hat off

So what, he's like Maybe Or he'd slicked it back, put the hat on He slicked it straight back And everyone's like, that's different Because you've only ever seen him with the weird Fluffy, really dry looking hair. Have we had more than one instance of this hair?

Or is it just one? This is the first instance. First instance. It'll be interesting to see if he rocks it again on like day two. Now that people have gone online and said he looks good. Or the Trump fans. No, let's be careful saying looks good. He looks better.

It's like best of a bad situation. His hair was awful. It's gone to like I mean, yeah. You don't want to give him a compliment. No, I don't. It's not happening to his personality. No. He's a piece of work. Raccoon looking sick. It was going on before.

But it got me thinking I haven't had hair for quite a while. No, it's okay. It's okay. It's okay. It's okay. But I remember when I shaved it off,

it went from long to shaved off, and people were like, oh, that's good that you've done that. And I was like, oh, okay, I see how it is. That was a drastic change. But I want to know from people who have drastically changed their hair, and you can tell people didn't like it, but they were like, oh, it looks great. And what did you do?

Like what was the change that saw people go, great. I'm waiting for when I go back to being brunette for everyone to be like, oh, yeah, that's better. You can't go back to brunette. We've the photos all the marketing images all the billboards you're blonde yeah because i got told after night when i did the photos initially yeah we did photos and then had a weekend and megan came back blonde and everyone in marketing was like we just took photos and to be honest i think i looked better in the pre-weekend photos yeah because like look at that

bungy eye thing I've got going on when I smile is happening here that was in the weekend before photos that's you that's just you

that's you yeah but I was more conscious of it on the Friday so I opened one eye a little bit more but people didn't say that was bad

they actually liked your blonde no but I've still got it I've got to wait till I go back it was the fringe oh yeah yeah I got that cut once and then just let it grow up yeah No, but I've still got it. I've got to wait till I go back. It was the fringe.

Oh, yeah. Yeah, I got that cut once and then just let it grow out. Yeah. We can all say that. Yeah. Because the fringe was bad. Maybe it was the bangs. Yeah.

Maybe it was. Right. Well, whatever you did, we want to know when. You could tell people hated it, but they said, that looks great. Hey, no, that's. Maybe you went out there with your choice of hairstyle. Yeah, could be colour, could be style. Colour's a hard one, but you can always at least you can just get that recoloured.

Not always. Not always. Takes a while. Or sometimes it can take a while. Because if you bleach it right, if you just try to go back to brown, it can go green. Or like orangey, yeah. All right. 0800 orangey. Alright. 0800 Darls.nm

give us a call 9696. When did you change your hair? And you could tell people hated it but they said that looks great. Donald Trump has appeared

with a new hairstyle on the internet and the world is freaking out. I've never thought he looked much like his kids but yeah he looks pretty much like

the orange version of one of his sons. Baron. Because he's got orange hair. Baron? No, the older one. Eric or one of them. Don Jr.

One of them. One of them. We want to know when you changed up your hair, your look, and people greeted you with things like, oh my God, yeah, it looks great. We can tell. They didn't like it. Somebody messaged in saying their class was away for a week on camp, school camp. Yeah.

So I dyed my hair to remove the grey while they were gone, thinking I'll do it while they're gone. And then when they come back, they're like. Oh, this is a teacher. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Right.

When I greeted them, they all were silent and they were just looking up past my eyes and my hair. And then one of them was like, it's not very subtle. Oh, my God. Kids are ruthless. Savage. That sounds like some high school savagery subtle. Oh, my God, kids are ruthless. Savage. That sounds like some high school savage, really. They use subtle in the right way.

Yeah. Somebody else said, when I was a kid, I always had long, straight hair, which thinking about it now, it was gross because it was down past my bum. I started living in Wellington when I was about 19, and I was like, this is not for me. So I got a super short bob with a severe short fringe. Then soon after that haircut, I went out for dinner with mum and dad. They came to see me.

It was the most awkward dinner. Mum was totally gutted for not consulting me about my haircut before I did it. She didn't talk to me for over two months after that dinner. Like, it was her hair. Oh, wow. And she was so upset with me about it. It's not your hair, mum. Let it go.

Yeah, mum, it's just hair. Megan, what happened? Hey, I used to have really, really long blonde hair, and I decided to get myself a nice fashionable long bob, because that was in. Yeah. And someone from my work came up to me and was like, oh, you've had a haircut. Wow.

Do you like it? Oh! Yes, and she went, well, that's all that matters then, isn't it? Oh! So you said yes, and she went, well, that's all that matters then, isn't it? Oh, my God. The absolute sass. Was she an older woman? Because that sounds... No, she was, like, 30.

Oh, okay. Oh! So it sounded like some real mum sass here, didn't it? Hard, hard. Megan, thanks for your call. Sarah, when did people not like your hair change? So I'm a teacher and I went to school

after getting some blonde highlights put on my hair and a kid asked me why I had white hair kids don't understand fashion all the time right

no they're pretty ruthless they are though they're honest they'll always give you the honest truth the honest unfiltered truth from a child

they will Sarah thanks for your call. Some other text messages. Another teacher, when they had their haircut, the students were like, we really like it, Miss. Turn around so we can see the back. And then when they turned around, she turned around so they could see the back.

One of the kids was like, and made a chewback noise. No. And that was when they knew they were getting the piss out of them when they turned around. So heartbroken for them Yep I had dreads Honestly pay teachers

What they want They have to put up with that I know Oh my god I had dreads for years And cut them off I had a mixture Of people asking me

If I was sick Yeah Because obviously You've got dreads right That's quite an investment It takes a lot for people To get rid of them. And my missus spent the next week crying me,

telling me how ugly, crying, telling me how ugly I look. Oh my God. I shouldn't even like try to. Come for that up. Pretend. Somebody said, are you familiar with the Rihanna bob

from the Shut Up and Drive music video? Now I've Googled that. It was quite a harsh Bob, an angled Bob. Yeah. Of kind of a long length for a Bob. They said they went from boob length long hair to a Rihanna Bob. Never, okay, never copy Rihanna's hair. She can wear her hair any way and it looks great on her.

She's got the facial structure. Just don't do it. Which music video did you copy? Shut up, Fletch. I wanted, okay, I wanted... There's like websites that sort of... You can type in Rihanna haircut

and then put in the music video name and it will tell you. We all went through that phase where we were like, I want my hair like Rihanna's and umbrella, where it's really long at the front and short at the back. That's the vibe. That's kind of very similar to the shut up and drive. When I first met you guys, that's what I attempted

to do. Did it look like that? Oh, yeah. I thought you were trying to be Rachel from Friends. You were trying to be Rihanna. It ended up being so short at the back. I thought you were someone's mum that was giving us a ride to sports. So we learned

that Rihanna can pull off. You were taking us through the drive-thru afterwards like you're cool mum. Thanks. Cool mum. Rihanna can pull off everything and yeah, it's not for everyone. I'd like to see Rihanna do bald better than me but that's actually Rihanna. She probably would. She's in New York right now.

You know she would. Yeah, she would. It's cold out there. It's time to bust out the stock footage of snow in the South Island. They did a bit of that over the weekend. Must be also exciting for camera people that work for the news to get some fresh snow footage. Oh, yeah.

I saw some friends that were driving around the South Island and it was blanketed. Yeah, it was very beautiful. Very snowy. Great news for ski fields and etc. etc. But we're in the colder months. Now we've been spoiled with a very mild autumn haven't we? Autumnily, we were spoiled

with a very warm autumn. Well it's cold and I have two creatures in my care, my friends, that I did not have in previous winters. I've got goats, Harold and Helen, and when I went out and saw them

yesterday morning, I took my coffee out and I go for my morning check-up on them. I'm like, g'day fellas, as I step out the door, I'm like, g'day fellas. Do you check on the kids first? Oh, G'day fellas. As I step out the door, I'm like, G'day fellas. Do you check on the kids first? Oh, they were right there

watching Disney Junior or something. So, yeah, I've seen them and I go outside and see the other kids. I'm like,

G'day fellas. Come around and I walk around and they meet me and I give them a scratch between the horns because that's the part they can't reach.

Yeah. So you think every morning you were met with a nice little scratch on an area you can't scratch like maybe the part they can't reach. Yeah. So you think of every morning you were met with a nice little scratch on an area you can't scratch like maybe the middle of your shoulder blades. Oh yeah,

it'd be quite nice. It'd be a hot spot. So I give them a scratch and they looked at me and they went like that like a little and I noticed the fog

come out of their mouth. Oh yeah. I'm like, you're cold. I hadn't thought about that. Do you get cold? Either that or they're smoking. And they hear me come and they're like, all right, g they're smoking. And they hear me come in, they're like,

all right, g'day fellas. And they're like, quick, put it out. Test my breath. I can still smell something. Do we have any of that Listerine left? It's coming, it's coming. G'day guys And then they won't look at you And they're like

Why aren't you breathing towards me? And that's when I see But I'm like Do you get cold? Because I'm familiar I've looked into my goats Since I got goats And there's many breeds of goats

Now there's like Angora goats That are a woolier goat But my goats are Sanine goats Might be there's many breeds of goats. Now, there's like Angora goats. They're a woolier goat. But my goats are Sanine goats. Might be saying that wrong, but that's how I like to say it. Right. And they've got more of a hair. You don't shave these goats. Shave these goats.

There's no... It's not a thick coat. Not super... They have thick... Harold's... Oh, he's a handsome boy. He's looking very handsome at the moment. His coat's fulled out and it's very nice and white.

Helen's is slightly more of an off-white. Okay. Not brown. Beigey. Like a polar bear. Because you always think they're white, but they're more yellow when you see them. Beigey, creamy sort of situation. But Harold's a crisp white.

Okay. And I said, are you guys cold? And they were like, looked at me and they went, bleh. And I was like, say no more. I'm on to it. Because I remember growing up, when we had school calves, we used to make covers for them. Mum used to make covers out of like a hessian sack,

like a coffee bean sack. Yeah. And she'd sew an old rug or an old blanket on the inside and then we'd size it up for the calves and we'd put a bit of baling twine around the back and a hole for their head and it would keep them nice and warm. The other calves must have hated the school calves because the school

calves were treated like royalty. Mother nature, these animals have lived for thousands of years without you making a sack for them. Yeah, but they wouldn't be comfortable. They don't need, your goats aren't freezing to death. They might. I don't know. No, but you don't want to know that they freezing to death They might I don't know

No but you don't want to know That they're sitting there like Oh god We've got a dog With a lot more fur And it spends all it's time inside I'm like get that outside Shadow's like

He'll get cold I'm like he won't get cold Look at him He's a bear He looks more like a bear Than the goats So I came strutting back inside And I said

I'm ringing mum And Shadow I said What are you ringing your mother for I said I'm going to see If we've still got those calf covers from 30 years ago. She's like, no, I'm not going to have them. Mum's like, I don't know what happened to those.

I don't have them anymore. So then it struck me. I remember seeing that Swan Dry made an upper class Swan Dry coat for dogs. Do they? And yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah. And if you really loved your dog, like you'd get your dog one of those if you're a farmer,

but then you take it off when you're around your mates because you don't want your mates to think you've gone soft on your bloody dog. But you can get your dog a nice swan dress. So I looked up. I went out and I took a tape measure out and I measured Harold and Helen from neck to butt and then around the girthiest part because I get a bit fat. Okay.

Don't tell them. And they would fit an extra large dog swan dry. Okay. And then I got to thinking, I thought, since I've got these goats, I've heard from many people who love goats. Many goats. The goat crowd are people. Goat fan.

I'd put the goat people up with like crazy cat people, crazy dog people. Yeah. Probably not on the level of bird people. They're a different breed altogether, aren't they? Hey, Megan's mum's got birds inside. Yeah, she's crazy. Yeah, the birds make, there's something in the birds that make everybody crazy.

So I'm proposing today, I'm formally penning a letter to Swan Dry that we go into a collaboration and we sell goat Swan Drys. If it's good enough for dogs, it's good enough for goats. Wouldn't they already be all over this if this had legs? No, that's the thing. So many big, great businesses don't see money to be made on the lower levels anymore. They need an ideas guy like me. So your big entrepreneurial idea is selling someone else's product. Correct.

With A goat Emblem Right Iron on Ironed on Ironed on So you'd just be selling Still selling their stuff

Correct With a slight modification Right But I own the idea Of the modification Are you allowed to do this? So that what The modification is

Making it bigger And putting an iron on it I don't even know How making I don't know about making it bigger Because my goats are like a big breed of goat. Most goats would be smaller

and probably fit more of a Labrador or a small, because look, they've got various sizes. And in the moment, because it's coming up to the field days, everybody's going nuts

with discounting everything because farmers just go and lose their money and spend a whole lot of money. You can get them cheap, so I'm thinking just that and then a little tack on and then money made.

Money in the bank. So you'll buy their product, put an emblem on it. And a discounted wholesale rate. Right, and then sell it to crazy goat people. Yeah, with their permission or not. Okay. Sounds like a great way to make money. Vaughn?

Yep, yep. Well, it's like these people who buy bloody drink bottles from AliExpress and then get a sticker on them and they get here and they're like ooh, put your magic crystal in it. It's worth $18. Bingo. AT? I like it if it's got a magic crystal in it. Goat jackets do

exist but the ones I've googled, none of them are as stylish. It's Wanderers of Kiwi Classic isn't it as well? It is, yeah. Go swan dry is your Kiwi classic, isn't it, as well? It is, yeah. Goats in coats is so funny. And then someone sent me goats in pyjamas and said,

you've got to get your goats in pyjamas. And I was like, this is not going too far. No, because you can't have them standing too close to the heater. Yeah. Which I've installed in their shed to keep them warm

until I get the swan dry sorted. Right, okay. Situation sorted. So what's the plan then? Just, this is your plan. This is the plan. Okay. This is the plan. Well, so what's the plan then? Just, this is your plan. This is the plan. Okay. This is the plan.

Well, let us know how you go. I will, yeah, yeah. Well, I'm going to make formal contact with them now. Some nice options here. Do you think Harold will be a blue guy or a teal? Pretty more of a blue. I don't see both of them in red, to be honest. Yeah, a couple of.

Yeah, a couple of. Because it would go well with the white. It would, actually. It would bounce nicely. Yeah. Okay. Well, leave that with me. I'll see you guys.

That could be you going on the show when you become a millionaire. Yep, I'll see you guys at my why-hecky mansion. With a joining vineyard. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. So, dating apps. They're, I mean, massive in our society now. There's, like, heaps of different ones. And they are, I mean, massive in our society now. There's like heaps of different ones. And they are, I mean, they're aiding people dating.

They're, some might say, helping to spread... Joy. Joy. Herpes. No, I was going to say herpes. Sure. But there's also something else that they've said is not good. It's helping to promote bad diets.

So this is a study. It's actually in the Journal of Eating Disorders. It has highlighted the increased odds of these bad habits. And it's higher in those who use dating apps. So do you think it's because you see someone on a dating app and maybe they don't, I don't know, they're not into you. So you're like, well, I've got to do better. I've got to get skinny.

Yeah. Do you think it's just not helping your self-esteem? It's not helping your self-esteem because if you don't get like, if you don't get a match, you feel terrible about yourself. So yeah, when you compare those who do use dating apps and those who don't, the ones who do use the dating apps have significantly elevated odds of engaging in like six different unhealthy weight control behaviors. Wow.

And then even if you were like, oh, well, I'm going to give up these dating apps. I'll just go on Instagram to feel better. Oh, yeah. And then you find a discount code for Slim T. True. True. That's a joke. I don't drink Slim T.

It's a horrible cycle online, isn't it? So do you know, in some of these stats, I was just looking to women to men, it's actually men have a higher percentage. Isn't that crazy? So men are more susceptible to getting these bad habits. All because of dating apps. Man, I so would have thought it would be females.

I mean, females are still up there. So it's 44% to 54%. Is it? Serious question. Is it harder for guys to 54%. Serious question, is it harder for guys to work angles? What, with photos? I don't know. Maybe just girls have done it more.

Just from an observation, because I've never used one, but it seems to be like a girl could put up a photo and as long as she's got the boobs, guys are keen. But then guys, what do we use instead? Because we can't put an arm under something and squeeze them up

and then just be like, look at my necklace. But it's not really about the necklace. It's about the boobs and stuff, which is fine. But I'm wondering, is there a guy version? I don't know. You can't fake abs. Really, can you? You can't fake abs. Really? No, you can't.

No, exactly. That would be the equivalent. That's the male equivalent of cleavage, right? Yeah. You don't have to have your abs. It's really close. No, but then you want to like... You could like hold up a dead animal or fish or something that you've shot. Distract them from your gut.

Hold up a really big fish and make sure you look smaller. Or put a picture of your car as your profile. Right. So you're telling me now the male equivalent of breasts is a car. really big fish and makes you look smaller or put a picture of your car as your profile right so you're telling me now the male equivalent of breasts as a car that seems wildly unfair it's a nissan because you could just go down to it then you go down to the car yeah don't you just pose for one photo and you're like change it up that's an interesting point though yeah i've never thought about that there's not like a guy equivalent i I'm like really, I'm really shocked by these because in every single different, you know, bad eating disorder and trend,

men are higher in all of them. It doesn't surprise me that much. There's a higher percentage of guys than women. So guys are feeling just as self-conscious. There's so much pressure on guys. But as we've said before, you're just what you don't have. If you're massive, you want to be small. If you're small, you want to be bigger.

But like there's like a big body, what can I say my words today, body positive movement for women. But like needs to be just as vocal for guys. Clearly by these stats, that's really sad. Embrace the gut. But also if you don't have abs, that's really sad. Embrace the gut. But then, not embrace the gut. But also,

if you don't have abs, that doesn't mean that, like, who cares? Yeah, but that's always easy to say about the other people, but then there's always

going to be something that people would say, who cares to you? I can't not care about this. But most people who are married to their husband wouldn't look at,

like, I'd say majority is not going to have abs. That's not what you need in a lifelong partner. How upside, core strength, they'll be able to, like, pull you up if you're going to have abs. That's not what you need in a lifelong partner. Helps, core strength. They'll be able to like

pull you up if you're falling off a cliff. That's true. Because they'll be able to like wrap their leg around something and then like use their excessively strong core and be like,

hold my arm. Yes, I know, it's a beautiful arm. And check out the arms. Core strength. Saved your life.

Told you you needed abs in a lifelong partner, especially with you always walking next to cliffs. I told you not to, but anyway, I told you while I was doing sit-ups. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. If I could just have my sound up, please. Oh, okay.

Oh, no. Not possible. You've got to say these things like, I don't know, before we go on air. I don't want to. Because we've got a line assigned for the roly-poly, which is on that button. Oh, that's on that one. Okay. Could you come over to Megan's?

I also don't have Megan's assigned. Sick beat. I don't have a sick beat. You. I don't have. A sick beat. You could play the song in the background for me. Okay, what song is it? Just any Stevie Wonder song. I just called to say I love you. Oh, okay, okay.

I just called. Or Superstition. Where are we going? I found it. I found it. I found it. Jams. Always reminds me of the Glenview Tavern in Hamilton.

I used to have a smorgasbord and we used to go there for special events. Okay. And I'd sing this one. And you'd run up and you'd be like, Hey, we're here for my granddad's birthday. Would you possibly be able to wish Alan a happy birthday? And the next song I'd be like, And this one goes out to Alan who's here with his family celebrating his birthday.

Have a good one, Alan. And my granddad would be like, Let me just say my name. Alan who's here with his family celebrating his birthday. Have a good one, Alan. Am I a green? Let me just say my name. Bloody great. And be at the oyster bar just getting all the oysters. Oysters. It's my birthday. Oysters.

Yeah, oysters. And they come out in a little ice thing. And everyone else, they'd be like. Flashbacks. And once I highlighted the Glenview Taft, and everyone else would be like flashbacks and once I got highlighted the Glenview Taft which I believe now is Te Wananga

Waotearoa walking up to the bar to get a fizzy drink and it was me and my sister and we were young and the bartender said what can I get you lads

and I was just like he just told you a boy which is like the worst insult to like a ten yearold girl that's ever happened. Did she cry? Yeah, I think so. I think she ran back to the table crying and I was like, just two sprites for me and my brother, thank you.

Went back to the table, why's your sister crying? What did you do to her? I was like, I called her a boy. Great times. Granddad's just like. Nothing beats a birthday oyster. So anyway, Stevie Wonder. Oh, boy. Great times. It's just like... I think it's a birthday oyster. So, anyway, Stevie Wonder. Today's Smack of the Day is Stevie from Stevie Wonder.

Is it short for Steven? It's short for Steve-land. Steve-land? Steve-land. Like, Steve-land. If he made a country. Yeah. What? He's like, I'm calling it Steve-land. Steve-land. Like, Steve-land. If he made a country. Yeah. What?

He's like, I'm calling it Steve-land. Steve-land. Steve-land. Steve-land, hideaway Morris. Sounds like an artificial sweetener. Steve-land does sound a little bit like Stevia. Yeah. Could be a brand of Stevia.

Are you just fact-checking my fact? Yeah, I am. Okay. Stevie Wonder. I'll wait. And remember, cocktails are on two for one because it's happy out here at the Glenview Tav. I can't find his wiki.

Why Steve-land? Trust in Vaughan, Megan. Oh my God, his name's Steve-land. Steve-land. It's more like Steve-land because there's no E. I only went Steve because they call him Stevie Wonder. Otherwise it would have gone Steve-land as well went Steve because they call him Stevie Wonder. Yeah. Otherwise it would have

gone Stevland as well but then it would be Stevvy Wonder. Stevvy. Stevvy Wonder would have two V's in it too, wouldn't it? Yeah.

Stevvy Wonder. And that's the fact of the day. Today's fact of the day is Stevie Wonder's name isn't Steven, it's Stevland. Right. Hardaway Judkins.

Right. And that is today's What I'm Going to Wear. What? Now I've got to look into what happened to the Glenview Bloody Tavern. It's torture.

Torture this brain of mine. I'm going to be thinking about it all day. We've got a car in the car park with its lights on. It's an old incommodore. Of course it is. HJ7456 I just called And my granny's like, oh, that's me, that's me.

Don't eat all my oysters. God, he got his name called and his number plate called all the way up. Yeah, he's had a great day. He's had a great day. Happy birthday. So that's it. Yeah, today's fact of the day. Stevie Wonder is Steve-land.

Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. We have a new celebrity billionaire, and it might not be who you think. Kylie Jenner. She's already a billionaire. She's already a billionaire. Is it me? It's the last person I could think of.

No. If you had to actually, so the title is our first hip-hop billionaire. Have a guess. There would already be, I would have thought it would be Dr. Dre.

Because he sold Beats by Dre and made that deal when they sold to Apple was like three. Him and Jimmy Iovine Billions. Wasn't it halfies? You'd think so. And it was like $30. Him and Jimmy Iovine billions. Wasn't it halfies? You'd think so. And it was a $3.2 billion deal. There's always someone trying to take a cut, like maybe some managers and stuff.

So you're right, that was the deal in 2014, so that's a good guess. Although, Forbes have said that he was only worth $800 million at the time. Was that all? Only. So I don't know, maybe it was split. Puff, Diddy, Diddle, what's his name now? Puff Daddy.

Sean Diddy Coombs. No, but he's such a businessman. $855 million. See? So not far off. Still mega, mega rich. And that's not even with Beats by Dre. Because how does he make his money?

He uses clothing. Diddy? Everything, yeah. Alcohol, clothing. Oh, he's got... Is he real estate? If you make money off alcohol, I'd spend it on alcohol.

As yet, I'm making it. So... It would be... Is it the combined Jay-Z, Beyonce? So they were already billionaires combined. Jay-Z is now a billionaire on his own. On his own, right. And so they're calling him the first hip-hop billionaire.

Yeah. Now, it's broken him the first hip-hop billionaire. Yeah. Now, it's broken down where he gets his money from. Beyonce, his weekly allowance. No, you're not talking about... Beyonce doesn't come into the factor at all. So is she a billionaire already? No. How does he make his money then?

Because that title thing went bust or didn't do so well, did it? Slumlord. So none of the top three come from music. Okay. It's $310 million. That's the biggest money earner from him. Comes from the Ace of Spades champagne. Armand de Brignac, I think.

Armand de Brignac? I don't even know. He owned a champagne. Ace of Spades? I had no idea. Oh, girlfriend. So yeah, $310 million from Ace of Spades. I had no idea. Oh, girlfriend. So yeah, $310 million from Ace of Spades. $220 million, that's cash and investments,

including a $70 million stake in Uber. Oh, wow. $70 million. So he got in early. Yeah. But then they just posted like a record, didn't they post a huge loss? They listed and they, yeah,

they farted out. Oh my God, this champagne is not cheap. No. Well, I wouldn't have thought so if he's making that much money off it. $400 a bottle? Beyonce has it in music videos and stuff, right? How many bottles? For $400?

One. One bottle. How big is this bottle? Is it like one of those like LMP bottle and pyro? I've never tried it. It better be like lace of gold or something. It better be good. To be honest, like, unless, yeah, I probably wouldn't be able to tell the difference.

He's got a $1,200 bottle. Oh, my God, crazy. I'd drink that and it would just taste like Lindow to me probably, if I'm honest. And then you wouldn't drink it all, so you'd put it in the fridge with a spoon in the top. Because who ever thought that that was actually keeping the fizz in the bottle? He's also got $100 million for a cognac. So those are his top ones. Right.

Then we get down to like $75 million for Rock Nation, $100 million for Tidal. He's got real estate. He's got $70 million worth of art. That's his art collection. And only $75 million for his music catalogue. Wow. So Jay-Z is officially our first hip-hop

billionaire. Good investing. Clever investing. And she's worth $355 million. They would never have those arguments about like, who's paying? Who's got the bill? Well, Jay-Z's paying. He's a billionaire. Yeah, he's worth more. Oh, do you think

that would be the argument? 100% yes. Also, I thought she'd be worth more than that. Me too. She works her butt off at music and it's just still like...

But like that shows like you've just got to buy a... Invest in some alcohol. And then put it in your own music videos and talk about it and people will buy it.

God. The art of self-promotion. Yeah. Is this what you're going to do with your goat jackets? Do you think that'll be the same kind of Give them in some rap videos.

music videos. Yep. 100%. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. If you enjoyed this podcast, why not give ZM's free and clean to listen to?

Subscribe on the iHeartRadio app or wherever you get your podcasts. And music lives here. ZM.