ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Megan Podcast - June 14 2019

Episode Date: June 13, 2019

Fletch was the fun police yesterday at Fieldays, Friday Flashback and have you ever set a cheating trap?See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

ZM. Head music lives here. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. Hello, good morning. Welcome to the show, Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. Hello. Good morning. It is Friday. Good morning. Happy Friday. Another foggy start as well for Auckland and parts of the country. We were just arguing if it was more foggy yesterday than today. It was definitely foggy yesterday. When I drove over the high bridge, I couldn't see the country. Oh, so foggy. We were just arguing if it was more foggy yesterday than today. It was definitely foggy yesterday. When I drove over

the Harbour Bridge, I couldn't see the city. Well, it sounds to me like it was foggier in different locations. No, how is that possible? Getting into Auckland City was very foggy.

It's not possible, Vaughan. Fog is uniform in the same places every morning. Exactly. Yes. Yes. No.

No. No, it was scary driving over the Harbour Bridge. You usually see all the city lights. There was nothing. It's like it just got taken out yesterday. Today I could see it. Okay, well today it was the other way around for me.

Right. You were coming from the other side. I was flying from the western entrance. Well, either way, if you're flying in and out of Auckland Airport today, I'd imagine there may be some, like yesterday, some disruptions. So if you're flying around the country, that could affect you. Just tell them they're being socks. Are you? Because that's how I

like my pilot to approach a landing. Call them a chicken and then he'll be like, what'd you call me? Is it because they can't see the ground? Yeah. You've got to have like a minimum. Or the air or anything. You've got like radars and stuff. They don't really like look where they're going, do they? Do you think it's a good idea to land on a runway when you can't see it?

No, I forgot about landing. But I was, like, taking off, just go straight up. What's wrong with you, chicken? Nobody calls me chicken. Everybody on the goddamn plane. You're just in the cockpit and you hear, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, you hear, somebody's scared. Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking.

I've just been called a pussy, buckle in. No one calls me a pussy. This is your family. You might die today. Away we go. All right, coming up on the show, the top six. Yes, The Hungry Caterpillar. You may remember The Hungry Caterpillar as a book from your childhood.

It's 50 years old. Is it? 50 years since initial publication. I remember we made A Hungry Caterpillar. We all got a circle and we got to draw it, colour it in crayons and then fill it and then staple the outsides and made a somewhat three-dimensional hungry caterpillar to put on the wall of the classroom in primary school. Oh, I'm so confused how that worked, but I'm with you now. This was decile one primary school learning.

That's the thing about going to a low decile school is you learn. Don't you? You learn how to make fun without money. We ran out of crayons. That's the idea. And I think all the green crayons were gone. Yes, yes. It was a pink caterpillar.

Did anybody take a... We just had little nubs for crayons. Did anyone take a blue crayon and a yellow crayon and melt them together to make one singular green crayon? Oh, they hadn't taught us that yet. Not as a decile one. Maybe that was more decile four. All right, you lot, listen up.

It's story time. All right, story time. Three news headlines that I found. Interesting, quirky, unusual, oft hilarious news stories. And the headlines are oft hilarious. And Vordermagen decide they pick one only.

So we can't have all three. There's no time for that. Headline one, Florida baby reveal. We literally end up pretty much discussing all three every day when you say there's no time for that. He also says the other ones get thrown out, but then most of the time he gives us a clue anyway. Yeah. But we let him say his piece at the start.

Or tells us during the next song. Oh, all right. If you'd like me to start taking a hard line on this, then I will. Headline one, Florida baby reveal. Headline two, free willy. And headline three, canine unit gets a chewy toy. Those are your headlines today. Free willy, I believe that would be in regards to Canadia,

the home of Canadians. They have banned the keeping in captivity of whales, dolphins, or porpoises. Correct, Vaughan. Which is great. Great move from you. It is great. It is. Great move.

Ever since the cove, always feel really bad about just even going past anywhere with dolphins in captivity. Yeah. We don't have any marine life and captivity in New Zealand, do we? Like, apart from like otters and stuff. Somebody... Yeah, otters. Not like dolphins. In front of the Wellington, you know, do we? Like, apart from like otters and stuff. Somebody, yeah, otters. Not like dolphins.

In front of the Wellington, you know, the boat shed there, they've cut that off and there's two in there. But that's, no, dolphins, but that's technically not captivity because they're still in the ocean. They can see the ocean. And that bit is ocean. Yeah. And if they wanted to get out, they would.

Yeah. I saw somebody, somebody I know on Instagram the other day had a photo, like, nose to nose with a dolphin. And everyone's like, oh, my God, cute. And I commented, oh, is this, like, recent? And she's like, yeah, it was last week. I was like, I don't know that we do this anymore. No, we don't.

This isn't okay. It happened on my Facebook feed, and I didn't want to say anything, because I didn't want to be the one person that was like, hey, no, we don't. I got messages from their friends being like, oh, my God, we didn't know. Thank you for your vote in the floodgates. We all just didn't know who was going to be the first person to say anything and then the photo got taken down. Did you just say watch the cove and get back to us?

Because I haven't seen the cove. Have you not? I can't handle it. I can handle, like, stuff against humans. Yeah. I can't handle animal cruelty. You want a hole? Now you won't laugh when I wanted to go to Japan and protest after you watched the cove.

Yeah, no, I'm not going to watch the cove. Okay, well, we don't do that. Well, so we've done Free Willy. Okay. So do you want Florida Baby Reveal or Canine Unit Gets a Chewy Toy? I'd like the, oh. I wanted the baby reveal, but I love doggies. It's been a while since we heard a Florida story.

Okay. Well, we'll go to Florida. Okay. How do you think a Florida gender reveal party goes? Because, you know, people are just trying next level with it. Guns, explosives. One triggered a wildfire recently, but that was a Californian one. Yeah.

There's been a burnout. I've seen ones where people do burnouts and they get like coloured smoke pellets put into the tyres. Oh, okay, right. So they do a burnout and it eventually starts burning a blue or a pink. Cakes, your traditional confetti.

Megan, any guesses? Alligator. It's something to do with an alligator or a gun. An alligator and a gun or a python. Locking those ones in. Yeah. Well, pet alligator. Oh, yes.

Megan, full points. I'll show you a photo. It's pretty self-explanatory. They have a balloon on a stick, and they finally got the alligator to bite it to reveal a pink powder. As the family and friends stand around this gigantic alligator that you would say, what, would be two or three metres?

And how close is that person? Like, two metres away? Yeah. So I don't... Yeah, but the alligator's got a face full of pink powder. It's pretty... I can't see for a little bit. Yeah.

Wow. Is that our second Alligator Florida story this week? Yes. I believe it is little bit. Yeah. Wow. Is that our second alligator Florida story this week? Yes. I believe it is, yeah. Yeah. I was like, alligators is a joke, thinking how would you incorporate that? But they've managed to find a way. So they took a couple of tries, but the balloon was popped black,

revealing a cloud of pink powder. Apparently the man who is having the baby his tenth and a mixed family um what a blended face i'm assuming it's two people that got together that's what i mean by that um he's a wildlife trapper so he's fine around alligators i don't know about the rest of the family well yeah all his kids are there and stuff. Yeah. But it does sound like it's a pet. I don't know. Keep it out the back somewhere. Right.

But yeah, they're having a girl. Oh, that's great. That's wonderful. That's lovely. Does it have any sort of ratio breakdown of their gender so far of those 10? No, it doesn't. No. I was just thinking if they all had like nine boys,

it'd probably be extra exciting. True. Dirty Break. I just wanted to play that, to be honest. Yeah. Well, you've got news of a new TV show that needs the Dirty Break introduction. So there's a new series that's called Euphoria. You may have seen Zendaya posting about this.

She stars in it. Yes. It's my girl, Zendaya. Zendaya posting about this. She stars in it. Yes. It's my girl Zendaya. She's been all about this. She says she's very, very proud of this. Right. So this has been called quite inappropriate. They've said it makes 13 Reasons Why

look like an after school special. And one of the actors quit mid-shoot because he didn't feel comfortable doing some of the scenes quit mid-shoot because they didn't feel comfortable doing some of the scenes. So what's it about then? So it is a drama that looks on teen life. They say teen life with no holes barred.

So it talks about sex, drugs, teen pregnancy, everything. Right. Violence, all of it. So this isn't out now, but it's in production? I think it's almost out, isn't it? It's an HBO show. Oh, I think it must be out because people are complaining. Ah, right, okay.

Because, and there's lots of things in it, but the thing that everyone seems to be up in arms about is that there is the first episode features yeah features 30 penises or around there 30 penises appear on screen me um i like that someone was counting that i don't know if the producers are what are just like literally seeing what they can get away with. But the HBO execs did push back on some scenes, including one where they wanted to shoot a birth scene straight between the mother's legs. Wow. They said no.

Okay, good. Oh, that's nice of them. There was also, so it must be the scene they're talking about with the 30 penises. They're in a locker room. Right. And the producers said, talking about with the 30 penises. They're in a locker room. Right. And the producers said, well, they've trimmed it down. The one that went to air was the edited version because the original had like 80 more penises.

Wow. But I like that. It's bringing the balance back. That's a lot of penises on the editing room floor. It's bringing the balance back. This sounds like some old gay dude's just like, I'm going to make a TV show. Yeah. So it's based on an Israeli TV show of the same name.

Right. Really? The guy at the helm of it is a guy called Sam Levinson. That name sounds familiar. But I don't know, like looking at his screenwriting, he wrote one called Another Happy Day. Oh, okay. That was like a black comedy drama.

The Wizard of Lies. Nothing you can kind of recognize. Assassination Nation and Euphoria. Yeah, he had like heaps of... So there is like some pretty controversial stuff in there. There's, yeah, some heavy stuff as well. But I just find it interesting that the thing that

everyone's picked up on is like so many penises in one show. Do you think it's about time? Yeah. It's about time there was some equality. I'm bringing penis back.

Yeah. Why is it different? But shows like Game of Thrones have kind of... So the reason again is like the US Parents TV Council, the fun place, they have said it's marketing overtly graphic and adult content to teens and preteens.

They became parents to sit on this council without the use of any penises. Penises, of course, not at all needed to be a parent. I was just trying to think of the last sort of overt penis I saw on television on Chernobyl. Chernobyl, the miners. Oh, yeah. Rock out and it's just these big Russian dongs. He's like, it's hot in here. It's getting really windy.

Look how far those did. I was like, goodness me. Yeah, that's right. Heavens. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. Uber Eats is at their full, Uber as a company seems to be quite at the forefront of technological advances.

Sure. And Uber Eats doesn't want to be left behind. They're going to be trailing drones in San Diego next year. Drones as part of Uber Eats. Now this would, they're going to start out with McDonald's meals. Okay. Basically, you would Uber Eats an order from McDonald's. An Uber Eats driver, obviously, the time taken to get to McDonald's,

heavy traffic if it's a built-up area, if it's downtown San Diego. So there would be traffic to negotiate with. They would have predetermined areas outside of busy traffic, CBDs, where the drone would land and meet the Uber driver. So it would take off from the McDonald's and fly and meet the Uber driver, and the Uber driver would take it the rest of the way. Rather than just landing on some random doorstep, because that's when people get a bit silly and capture a drone or hit it with a stick.

We saw some great drones yesterday at the field days, didn't we? Oh my God, they have drones that like have big water tanks on them. So you can go spray stuff and stuff. Oh wow, really? You could sit at the gate and use your drone to like spray your strawberries. So the technology is there to carry that kind of weight. Does it sit in a little cradle or something? In a little

case? Or does it just dangle the McDonald's bag? I don't quite know how this works. It latches onto a box. The food's in a box. So it lands and then it would detach and it could take off again. Producer James, we've been out with James doing some Uber deliveries.

Jeez, he's just fallen over. That was Caitlin. Caitlin's just pulled her headphones from under a keyboard. How does this sound? Because I remember we've talked to you and the thing that is the most frustrating is when you have to go into a city to, there's no parks. You've got to go into the restaurant. This is great.

Yeah, this is great news. This is good. This means i can stay out of the city and still get my orders done because yeah as i said the traffic and the cbd is terrible and also finding a restaurant or somewhere that's down a little alleyway or something like that it's the worst and you've got to find a park as well but then wouldn't if there if the drone's you halfway, then you're losing money though, aren't you? I wonder that. I wonder, is the drone taking some of my money?

Because I don't want to be giving my money to a drone. I think you would be, they'd be taking a little bit more of a cut, wouldn't they? If there was a drone involved. That's what I mean. They're going to be taking

my miles to destination, which is valuable money when you're delivering Uber Eats. This is the thing, the same thing when I worked at the supermarket and a checkout took my job, a robot. Same thing. I thought, this is a good thing. This is the thing, the same thing when I worked at the supermarket and a checkout took my job, a robot.

Same thing. I thought, this is a good thing. This is a good thing, but no. It wasn't. It wasn't. It wasn't helping you. It was taking from you. I mean, if you can have the option

of the drone picking it up and bringing it to you, then sure. I mean, some people might want to go the whole way and just go pick it up themselves. Yeah, that's true. Because I mean, if you're sitting in, if you get your order and you're sitting in traffic waiting for the order, I'm, if you're sitting in, if you get your order and you're sitting in traffic

waiting for the order, I'm wondering if you're gaining money from doing that. I'd have a ute and then the drone could land on the back of the ute and then just go from there

and then it would detach and it would take off and I'd just leave the box there and drive the rest of the way and slide around on the back of the ute. Yeah, but what if you're getting

a big like soft drink? You've got to be careful. Oh yeah, that's true. Yeah, true. A drone, high winds, it might not be a soft drink by You've got to be careful. Oh, yeah, that's true. Yeah, true. A drone, high winds, it might not be a soft drink by the time it gets to you. It might be great actually living in the city

if drone orders start happening. I might get a few free meals dropping through the roof. You could just fly it up to your window and grab it. You could have a big fishy net. Yeah. Out the window, and it could come and you could be like, detach,

and it would drop it into the fishy net and then you'd be my, it was a vegan meal. Oh, you mean getting someone that's not yours? Yeah. Oh, I thought you were specifically ordering. Yeah, I thought you were ordering. Oh, no, I was thinking about... Stealing other people's food.

Stealing other people's drone orders. Right. With my big net. That could happen as well. Yeah. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. A UK woman has been left a little bit confused when she got her online shopping package.

It wasn't a fault of her own, so it wasn't like she ordered something and then was like oh, actually it's a toy one or whatever, but she, this is in the UK, she ordered a size 16 bikini and when she got it in the mail, she got the bikini top

but she got two bikini bottoms, both size 8 to add up to 16. So I don't know quite what happened there. I can see the maths there. She said, do you want me to say where it's from? Because you can actually access this website in New Zealand. Okay. She said, hey, Boohoo, boohoo.com.

Yeah. Did you all run out of size 16 bikini bottoms? Because you sent me two size 8s. Is it a maths joke? I actually wish I was kidding. She did say that she got what she calls a feeble apology and she got told to send it back with a note and they were going to sort her out.

Oh, admin though. Yeah, because she's going on holiday. She bought it for her holiday because she wanted to go to St. Lucia. Wearing a new bikini, but obviously now she's not going to get to wear it. But they have had a couple of whoopsie daisies. That's not the only whoopsie daisy that people have been reporting. This is in the UK.

Right. I don't actually know if it's like a different office or whatever. Okay. But in the UK, there was someone who got a play suit that had washed out stains between the legs. What, like someone who returned it? Yeah, and that obviously tried to

wash out stains. Oh, yeah. So they got it back and been like, well, we better give this a rinse. But then they just, what, like scrubbed the gooch. But wouldn't you just like say to the person that returned it this is ruined? Like we're going to charge you? You mankied it up. Yeah. Or maybe they did

and they still wanted to try and resell it. I don't know. Oh yeah. Little bit of a whopper. Alright. From the ZM Think Tank this is the Top 6. Hello there. It is 50 years

since the Very Hungry Caterpillar burst onto the scenes, or burst through the book, actually. We've got a version where you put your finger in the back and you're the Hungry Caterpillar and you eat through all the pages. That's so cute. Do you get a little finger puppet? Yeah, yeah, he's attached to the book so you can't lose him. Finger puppet.

Finger puppet. You big girl, you can't lose them. Finger pepper. Finger pepper. Finger pepper. Finger pepper. So, so this is, this is the backstory to the book. Right. A little backstory.

50 years down the track. It was inspired by a hole punch. This guy was punching holes in a, in a stack of paper. Yeah. And he thought of a bookworm.

And so he was like, that's pretty cute. It would eat bookworm. And so he was like, that's pretty cute. It would eat the books. And so he created a book called A Week with Willie the Worm. But then the book publishers were like, people don't like worms. It needs to be a little bit cuter.

So then you go caterpillar and then he's like, oh my God, like butterfly. That's what happens in the end. Yeah, yeah. So you've got your end. You've got your start. On a Sunday morning,

the caterpillar hatched from an egg and immediately labelled as a very hungry caterp end. Yeah, yeah. So you've got your end. You've got your start. On a Sunday morning, the caterpillar hatched from an egg and immediately labelled as a very hungry caterpillar. Yeah. So then he eats an apple on Monday, two pears on Tuesday, three plums on Wednesday, four strawberries on Thursday

and five oranges on Friday. Okay. And then in some versions, I haven't had this version, but on some versions on Saturday, he eats an enormous, then he goes real nuts, he eats a piece of chocolate cake, an ice cream cone, a pickle, so he's a pregnant woman basically,

a slice of Swiss cheese, a slice of salami, a lollipop, a cherry pie, a sausage, a cupcake and a slice of watermelon. Did he get broken up with on Friday? Yeah. It sounds like heartbreak, a heartbreak diet. And then he feels unwell and he's like, I've got to have a little rest. And he spins a cocoon and he comes out a butterfly. That's like literally a breakup.

Yes. You feel great and then you know what? Metaphorically. You come out a beautiful butterfly on the other side. You eat the ice cream, lie in bed, and when you emerge from that bed, you're a butterfly? Yeah. But this was a different time. This was 1969.

So if it was 2019, what would he eat? These are the top six things the hungry caterpillar would eat in 2019. Number six, a gluten-free bagel with tahini spread. On day one. On Monday, the very hungry caterpillar ate a gluten-free bagel with tahini spread. On Tuesday, and at number five, on Tuesday, the very hungry caterpillar drank too much of bubble teas. Because there was that story about the, was it in China that happened? Or overseas?

The woman who had 100 bubble tea balls found in her body. Yeah. They made them tapioca, so I don't know why they didn't dissolve or digest. Was it in China? It was overseas. They were probably asbestos then. They were probably just trying to cut costs. But yeah, the x-ray was nuts.

Yeah, I saw the x-ray. The news story had the x-ray and it was just like... I don't like the texture. I love the texture. It's like jelly. Yeah. I don't think I've ever had one. I like jelly.

I don't even know what it was. It's just like a weak tea. I don't think I've ever had one. I like jelly. I didn't even know what it was. It's just like a weak tea. I'm not a fan of tea. Yeah, I don't entirely love the drink. So what do the balls add to it? Sweetness. You can have the balls as a different flavour. So you can have like a chocolate milk.

So the flavour's in the balls. Or a chocolate tea. And then have coffee. I'm ignoring you. Coffee balls. I didn't know that the balls were where the flavour were. I thought it was the tea was the flavour. No, both.

Both. You have different flavours. You know what, next time we're near my place downtown, there's heaps of them. We'll go. And get a bubble tea. We'll get a bubble tea. Oh my God, cute. We'll have a bubble tea date.

It'll be great. Take me. Am I out of the demographic? I feel like I'm out of bubble tea's demographic. It's a psychographic, babe. It's a psychographic. If you feel like balls, Just have them.

Have them. Don't let anybody tell you. You can't. You can't have balls. Alright, so on Tuesday, the Hungry Caterpillar drank two matcha bubble teas. Yeah. Number four on the list,

and on Wednesday, the Very Hungry Caterpillar ate three chicken-free chicken burgers. Okay. This is the top six things the hungry caterpillar would eat in 2019. Yeah. Obviously, it just can't be all about chocolate cakes and sausages and salamis. Number three on the list. And on Thursday, the very hungry caterpillar ate four raw vegan slices.

Yum. Very expensive, but yum. But yum. And you're like under the impression that it's healthy, but vegan, those slices have got so much sugar in them. Oh yeah. So many cows.

So many cows in a raw vegan slice. But the Caterpillar's blossoming, so it needs those calories. Number two on the list. And on Friday, the very hungry Caterpillar ate five almond-free almond milk decaf bulletproof coffees. I don't know if you can have a decaf bulletproof.

Yeah, I don't know, actually. Or you just put a decaf shot in it. Yeah, with a bit of coconut milk. Question, do you do decaf at your cafe? Yeah. How do they take it out? I don't know. But you get the whole beans.

Yeah, they must do. What's your ratio of coffee sold caffeinated to decaffeinated? Did I order the other day? 18 normal bags and one bag of decaf. Right. So maybe 18 to 1. I'd refuse

to sell decaf. I just wouldn't bother. There's a glass of decaf. Right. So maybe 18 to 1. I'd refuse to sell decaf. I just wouldn't bother. There's a glass of water over there. Why? No, but... Because if you're going to put up with that taste... If you're pregnant and you've had enough caffeine for the day, then you want a decaf.

Or like some people, if you've got like illnesses or something, you want the taste of coffee, but you can't have caffeine at the time. But how do they get the caffeine out? And they've still got a whole bean. They've found a way. Maybe it's like a tea bag. They dunk it and get the tea out and then... Don't you ever use an old

tea bag? Isn't that getting rid of the caffeine? No, it's just getting a weak tea. That's when you've got to put the bloody balls in it to get the flavour. Exactly. And number one on today's list of the top six things the hungry caterpillar would eat in 2019. On Saturday, the hungry caterpillar ate six fermented everythings.

It went through some sauerkraut, fermented veggies, kombucha and cheese because it wanted good gut health, even though that is absolutely not scientifically proved at all. Flesh, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. ZM. Gosh, I want to talk about this granddad. He has an Instagram and he is 84 years old. He is a Japanese man and his gram game is so strong. He's also, from what you've just shown me, very styley. So, he is, but he's being styled by his grandson.

Oh, that's cheating. Where can we find this man? Well, I was just trying to find his, it doesn't actually have his handle, I don't think. So, his grandson is Naokudo. Right, he looked Japanese, the man, didn't he? Yeah. But I don't know if he's in Japan. Oh, I've got it, I've got it, I've got it.

It's S-L-V-R. I've got it. I've got it. I've got it. It's slvr. slvr. Tetsuya. So T-E-T. Yeah, okay. I don't know how to spell that. Well, I guess that's how you say it. Google completed for me.

T-E-T-S-U-Y-A. He's got 106,000 followers. Now, you've done something wrong here. Wow, Fletchman is fine. slvr.tty. dot T-T-Y. Dot T-T-Y. Yeah. Wow, he is a very styley man.

Oh, here I am. Here I am. Here I am. But then in some photos, it does look as though he's just standing there and he's like, what have you dressed me in? Like, to be honest. Even the pictures, like, there's a really great photographer taking those pictures. Yeah, like, that's like how some people have children just to dress them up. Yeah.

Or some people have grandparents just to dress them up, apparently. Oh, this is so great. So, yeah, he's being dressed in, like, major designer labels. His outfits are so great. But he's got, yeah, it does kind of look like he's got no idea what's going on. He's rotary hoeing a garden in this photo. That's good stuff. That's quality, wholesome content.

It's actually quite funny because, yeah, he definitely. He looks so good though. I'm definitely following. Wow. So good. But I would love to know if you have a grandparent who is on Instagram. Now, it doesn't have to be majorly cool.

Maybe they are doing something cool, but I would prefer to follow people's grandparents who are dishing out some quality grandparent content. Like what they're up to in the garden. Garden life. But then do you think there are any like you have to change your dad's Facebook photo? Yeah, my parents aren't even on the

gram. No, but this is the thing. We can't assume all parents are at the tech level of our parents. This is true. This is true. That there's some grandparents who, in an effort to keep up with their tech-savvy grandchildren, have got on the gram. And I'd imagine a lot of grandparents would follow their grandkids or their kids' travels on Instagram. Yeah, that's true.

That's how mums first got onto Facebook, isn't it, really? To follow their kids. To keep tabs on them. Now it's like a haven where you get away from what your parents can see. Yeah, pretty much. Haven't figured out Instagram yet. Yeah, there was that. Okay, so you want to hear from people who have grandparents on Instagram.

Yeah, oldstagram. And what are they posting? That's what I want to know. Maybe it is like super cool like this dude. And there's no way he's doing any of this. Posting. You don't know. Styling.

Look at the photos, Megan. He looks lost. He looks lost in some of them. That one, he's got both his hands in his pocket. That's a badass pose. So good though. Yeah. All right.

So 0800-DARLS-AT-M 9696. Give us a call or a text if you've got a grandparent on Instagram. What are they posting Flesh Forna Megan the podcast ZM

we're talking about if your grandparents are on the gram an 84 year old Japanese man he's being styled and I'm

imagining this account is curated by his grandson but 100% that's so cool but he's got a pretty cool little Instagram situation.

So we want to know if your grandparents are on the gram and what they're doing on the gram. My grandma, someone texted me, said,

is 82 years old. Yeah. She has an Instagram account and she'll often just post pictures that she saw on Google that she liked but no captions. Just a straight picture

of anything she likes, flowers, anything. Like a stock image picture of anything she likes. Flowers. Anything. Like a stock image account or something. Yeah, yeah. She's just like, I like this. I'm sharing it. Jasmine, your gran is on the gram?

She sure is. Okay. And so what kind of stuff does she post? So she's all about her pets at the moment. She's got a dog and a cat, so they're the love of her life. Right. And does she post the dog and the cat too much, or is there a balance?

There's very much a balance. I think it's more because she can't understand how to post, so there's been a few accidental stories. Good. Good luck if she doesn't have any dodgy photos in her camera roll. That we know of. Oh, she's put up a picture at Rose's Reign and Praying Mantis.

It's a picture of a... I think it looks like she's a grasshopper. I think you're right. I don't have the heart to tell you. Is that Jasmine's account? It is. That's some nice colours there. What's she using? What kind of phone

has she got for her gram? She's got a Samsung, but I really think she needs to upgrade to the iPhone if she's going to be on the gram. Oh, no. The Samsung will take a very nice photo, actually. It was a lovely camera. Very, very nice.

And you don't want to confuse your grandma at this age by trying to get her onto a new operating system. That's a lie. She's totally not. She's only confused that the stories end after 24 hours, so I have to highlight everything. Oh! Because they don't get on every day, eh?

No, they don't. Jasmine, thanks for your call. Britt, is your nan or granddad on Instagram? Yeah, it's my nan. Okay, and so what kind of stuff is she posting? Oh, she's on, I've got this B&B on the West Coast and I chucked them on Instagram to help them do like advertising so that people could put up photos

and they were staying with them and stuff. But she just really posts videos of her dog doing tricks. What kind of tricks? Yeah, yeah. What kind of tricks? Oh, all sorts. She's kind of taught them like the standard, like the sit and the stay and all that sort of thing.

But she's also taught them to dance, sneeze, ring a bell. I'm actually, I'm actually the producer's, James has just sent me through a link. It looks like Nana's dog tore open, oh no, it's a haircut. He's had a haircut. Oh yeah. She did a DIY dog haircut.

I thought he'd torn apart a pillow. There's a lot of fluff there. On the carpet. Well, she lives in Foxgrass here, so they don't have a groomer. She has to do it all herself. She's posted a thermometer picture. The temperature got up to 38 degrees on the unofficial outside.

Wow. That would have melted the glacier. And then, of course, you're not going to get the tourists. Isn't that great? And is this Grandad we're seeing in one of the photos as well? Is he sort of an older guy, grey curly hair? Yeah, that looks right here. That'll be him.

Oh, boy. It's a great grand. She's not uploading any other photos of old mates. It is. Brett, thanks for your call. Michael, your grandma isn't on Instagram, but it's on Snapchat. Yeah, she loves a good Snapchat. Well, what does she send you?

Oh, neighborly goth and the garden and go for wee walks around the mountain. That is cute. What, has she ever put like a funny filter on so it's like, Hello Michael, just going for a walk around the mountain. I had one of those under the ears the other day. It wasn't the video, it was the ears and the glasses. So that was pretty good. She took a photo.

She slid the filters. Oh, my God. That is great. Did you have to tell her how to set it all up, Michael? Yeah, she came down. We sort of went on the farm for a whole day and spent the whole day sort of doing the animals thing. Snapped at the animals and she loved it. It was so good.

Oh, man. That is awesome. I love it. Michael, thanks for your call. Somebody's just alerted me. I can't believe with 3.8 million followers and heaps of my friends follow, that I've never heard of Batty Winkle. Ever heard of Batty Winkle?

No. Batty Winkle, by these calculations, if she was born in 1928, she'd be 91. Yeah. Because she says Batty Winkle's stealing your man since 1928. And it's a grand lock. She gets invited to like Sephora shop openings. Oh my God. She does makeup.

She's good stuff. And she's stylish too. All out there. Look at this. She is wearing a crop top. I don't know many 91-year-olds that would be, oh, you can shivers me timbers. That's a revealing picture.

Jeez, Nan, you're bloody nearly flashing us your great depression. One. Well, she survived through it. Wow. That is amazing. Good on her. If you had looked like that when you were 92, you'd be stoked. I'd be stoked.

I'd never look like that now. What a great podcast so far Wouldn't you agree Fletch? Yes And it's all thanks to Spark Get one gig of bonus data With the Spark U25 pack Now back to the podcast

Do you remember When you were at school I don't know if you did this Fletch We only did it at school To kind of like Impress the girls I think And you went to an all boys school

So I'm not sure of the protocol there oh we're always trying to impress each other right okay so you may have done you may have done this yeah uh you would get like a book like an a like a 1b4 or whatever yeah and you would write in it like you all the pages you'd fill up all the blank pages with like name, age, favourite colour, favourite food, celebrity crush, real life crush and you'd leave all the spaces beside it blank and then you'd get your friends to fill out a different page?

No, no, no idea. I don't know if I ever did that but I know what you're talking about. Did you never have one? No. Oh my God, babes, this weekend. Get it, fill it all out. We'll fill it in next week.

Okay, okay. We'll put our celebrity crush. It sounds. Fill it all out. We'll fill it in next week. Okay, okay. We'll put our celebrity crush. It sounds like something you'd cut out of Tearaway and fill in. Yeah, it was like that. I'm sure you could probably. Or Cream or Dolly. Dolly, yeah. TV hits.

Hello, all those magazines. Yeah, okay. So anyway, we used to have those when I was at school. Yeah. And the other day I noticed Indy had started filling out, doing one, and then she said to August, you fill this in, and August could write her name, but then she had to get Indy to fill out the rest of her answers. And I said, oh, those are cool.

I remember that. I'll make you one. So I did like a whole page one of like name, age, favourite animal, favourite food, favourite colour, favourite singer, favourite blah, blah, blah, everything like that. Yeah. And then I set Indy off to fill it out.

And she came back and she's like, I'm finished. And I looked at it and it was like name and she'd written her full name and how old she was and everything. And it got down to like a favorite animal was like horse and color was blue and favorite singer was Lizzo. Wow. I was expecting like Jojo Siwa or Taylor Swift or something. But it's Lizzo, which is good.

This part. Oh, wow. Yeah, yeah. Of course. Yeah, and we don't just listen to the one Lizzo song. We listen to the whole situation. Yeah, of course. Yeah, and we don't just listen to the one Lizzo song. We listen to the whole situation. Yeah, okay. And she's fairly unapologetically straight up as our Lizzo.

Yeah. And the girls got all the words for the song. Oh, yeah, totally. We had a bit of Liz on the motorway, stuck in traffic, coming back from field trips. Oh, it was a real stress reliever. Yeah. So I was like, huh, interesting.

And I said to Shada, I was like, Indy interesting. And I said to Shadow, I was like, Indie's favourite singer is Lizzo. And she's like, oh yeah, they always ask for it when we're going anywhere in the car.

Yeah. They just love this song and the other songs on the album. And I think it's the song she does with Charli XCX. Now there's a radio edit

where it says every time I mess it up. Okay. But the unedited version is it's every time I F it up. Right. Yeah. Whichedited version is it's every time I F it up. Right. Yeah.

Which one are they singing? The F it up one. Yeah, 100%. So I had to, like, after this came to attention, then we put on some Lizzo and I was like, listening to it now with the intention of this is my daughter's favourite singer. There's some language in here and everything. Yeah, you're talking about Blame It On Your Love.

Blame It On Your Love. Every time I F it up. Yeah. And it says, it in here and everything. Yeah, you're talking about Blame It On Your Love. Blame It On Your Love. Every time I F it up. Yeah, and it says, it's in the chorus. Yeah. It says the F song 28, 30 times. Yeah. So I said to them, hey, I said to Shoddy,

maybe we should start playing the radio edit and the girls were like, eh, we don't like that version as much. I was like, okay, well, you're seven and five tomorrow, so that doesn't count. But I like, eh, we don't like that version as much. I was like, okay, well, you're seven and five tomorrow, so that doesn't count. But I said, okay, cool. I understand that swearing happens. And in my house,

like swearing was so bad growing up. You didn't dare swear. Now I don't want my daughters swearing. Yeah. I don't mind if they hear swear words. Yeah. And they have to know the appropriate place to use them. Yeah. And everything have to know the appropriate place to use them.

Yeah. And everything. Is a Lizzo song appropriate? I don't know. They sing along to it and it's okay with us. But then I said to them, because my parents are coming out this weekend, just out of the weekend,

and my mum's very anti-swearing. Like even you couldn't swear in front of her. Oh, I wouldn't. No, because she tells me off. Ah, ta, ta. No, no, no. Things like that. I'll drop all of them

in front of Bev. She loves them. Swears like a trooper. She does. Same, your mum loves a swear word. Yeah, my mum's got a mouth like a sailor. Yeah, my mum doesn't do

or like swearing. Right. So, she, I've said to the girls, like, if these songs come on, we're going to stop them when the man is here.

Cause, and, and if you just sing the mess it up version in public, um, and we'll say there's these, all these rules about the songs and everything. Yeah. Cause my mum would be so angry at me if my daughter swore in front of her. Cause I wouldn't be, she wouldn't be angry at them. Yeah. She'd be angry at me. Yeah. Youore in front of her because she wouldn't be angry at them she'd be angry at me you'd hear about it yeah

okay it's actually like a really good way to parents listening to find out what your kids are into do one of these things because they just

switch off and they answer automatically so it's like a trap yeah so you could use that when they're older like do you like drugs yeah yeah

what's your favourite drugs yeah because they'll definitely fall for that. I'm going to try to scribble it out, but it doesn't matter because you've seen it. Lime scooters. Lime scooters. I'm a lime scooter craze. And he was just going too fast, so I jumped out the way.

Another day, another lime scooter story! Dun dun dun dun! Lower Hutt. The Hutt Valley has had lime scooters They had them before Wellington City Which I believe has them now Well it has them now but yeah

Didn't have them for a long time It was a trial period So this is the weird thing about the The Hutt services for lime Next week They will What they are calling A seasonal Did you have a stroke and not tell us? Next week, they will, what they are calling a seasonal.

Did you have a stroke and not tell us? They are putting a seasonal pause on business in the Hutt Valley. Apparently, this is just because in the colder months, they don't get as much patronage. Here's the weird thing. Yeah. They haven't had a winter in the Hutt Valley. Yeah.

Nowhere else is having a seasonal pause. Yeah, I'm guessing that they're just not going as well, are they? People think that this is the end of Lyme in the Hutt Valley. Right. And they probably won't come back because they also haven't put a date on when they would return. They said, yeah, sometime later when the weather starts getting warmer again. Right. So everyone's like, okay, so they're not coming back.

Yeah. It's all very suspicious situation. Right. So if you're in the hut, you've got a week left. Go for a skid zone, yeah. Well, in Wellington, they've got the Limes, you said, but also on Tuesday, Uber is launching their e-scooters.

They're called Jump. So they're red. That just encourages me to try to do jumps on them yeah I mean I don't know how they they look exactly the same as all the other ones

how many different scooters I don't know because in Auckland City there's like three different ones now there's Wave Flamingo Flamingo

Lime and I think Onzo they've got their bikes but I think they're going to do scooters eventually right some of them are a bit rubbish. Some of them have only got front brakes.

I'm not a fan of that. Why? Because lines are back brakes, eh? Because you can do skids. Yeah, the handbrake is the hand pedal. How do you describe this? The brake on the handlebars is the rear brake. They do have rear brakes But they're those brakes

On like Non-motorised scooters Where you've got to stand on it And it goes over the wheel At the back Some of them I've seen Don't even have that And so if you're like

On a wet footpath And you lock Have to lock in a sudden And your front brake It's the front wheel You're going over Yeah right And so

Here's another thing I've noticed The nanny state Having I allowed them to work this morning, have set a zone in the city, in some parts, a restriction of 15 kilometres. It's too slow. Because you've got to go up a hill.

Does it give you a bit more juice to go up a hill? No, it just tops out at 15km an hour. It tops out, yeah. So you can, if you're going down a hill, go faster than 15km, but it won't give you any juice more than 15km. No, it'll take you to 15km, but it won't give you any juice more than 15km. No, it'll take you to 15km and then gravity does the rest. But I reckon you'd normally on a flat go around 21km.

Yeah. 22km? Yeah. And it's just a little bit slower. And then, of course, they've just put their prices up. Yes. 38 cents a minute from 30km. So it's going to take you longer to get to your destination because you're going slower.

But don't you think like going 21km without a helmet on is a bit fast? Yes, it's a risk I'm willing to take. So maybe going, you know, topping it out at 15km is for the best. There's all this also in Auckland on the Limes, now there's the no parking zones. Now before that was just a don't park in here, please. If you keep doing it, you might get a fine. But now you can't lock them in there.

So if you just jump off and walk away from it and it's in a no parking zone, you can't lock it and stop it. It will just keep charging you. Right. Because I tried to take one to a meeting the other day and I was like, I'm going to be on time. First time in a long time, I'm on time to a meeting. And then the meeting's right in the middle

of a red zone so then I have to walk the scooter out to try to find a place I can park it and then get back and I'm like, sorry I'm late

because then I'm like. See, all these things seem like common sense though. Yeah, but I don't want to have to think. And I've seen you two on lime scooters.

You are maniacs. I can't even keep up. It's 2019. I shouldn't have to think for myself anymore. Right, okay. It should be done for me. Yeah. I'm not paying a so I can't even keep up. It's 2019. I shouldn't have to think for myself anymore. Right, okay. It should be done for me.

I'm not paying a dollar to unlock and then 38 cents a minute to think, Megan. You just get off it and it auto-parks somewhere else for you. I just literally want to step off it while I'm going. And it just kickstands itself and parks quietly and waits for my return. Yeah. ZM's Fletch Warner Megan, the podcast. Yesterday, I went to the National Agricultural Field Desert, just the field deserts, they're calling them now,

driving back afterwards to Auckland, stuck in some quite bad traffic. Yes, well, it's just your standard going home traffic, your peak hour traffic. It was a bit worse than standard. There'd been an accident. There'd been an accident. There'd been an accident.

Yeah, so both ways, actually. Yeah. So we're stuck on the Auckland Motorway, city bound. Yeah. And the car that we used, the work car, it was another radio station's ute. Very nice ute. Yeah.

Beside the point. It had a tennis ball in it. So while I was driving, I was playing with the tennis ball, sort of as a distraction to take care of the fidgeting bit of me. You're a fidgeter. Stress relief. Because you were quite agitated. You wanted to be home. Oh, I just wanted to be home. Yeah, I know. Because I knew once I dropped you off, I had

to get in more peak hour traffic to get to my house. Plus, we're not good with traffic because we start really early, there's no traffic, we leave early. Yeah, we only have to be in traffic for about two seconds and be like, I don't know how people do it. I don't know how people do it Yeah I don't know how people do it What are they thinking They're just

Withering their life away In traffic How do people do it Why do they do it I don't need you to remind them So I mean it's great for radio Isn't it

Because that's when you People listen to Exactly Because you're trapped And you've got nowhere to go Yeah Well they can go to other radio stations Hey

I'll get back here Where you going No So we're in the traffic I've got the tennis ball. Now, alongside us pulls up a ute. Now, the ute in question beside us had a canopy on the back. Was it cooler than your ute?

No, no. It was like an old. They probably really loved it. It looked like they. It looked like in like an 80s or 90s. Yeah. That they loved because it was, you know, in good neck. But the back of the canopy

was open. It didn't have one of those doors. It had the tailgate at the bottom part for the tray so you could put something on and it wouldn't slide off.

But the other part was open. Right. Usually it has like a glass door that you can open up and you put your stuff in and then you shut it and lock it in.

It was empty. I thought when we were going alongside them quite slowly, I bet I can throw my tennis ball into the back of that guy's ute. Now, my mistake was saying, I really want to throw this tennis ball into the back of that guy's ute. Now, bear in mind it's crawling traffic. Like, not standstill, but crawling.

Not out of first. First gear. Yeah, right. First gear traffic. Okay. And so I shouldn't have said anything. I should have just done it. I should have said,

watch this and done it because I said, I really want to throw this tennis ball into the back of that guy's ute. That's pretty much asking permission what you did. And Fletch was just, no, no, no.

What? No, of course you can't do that. What are you? Absolutely. Are you nuts? What did you miss? I was like, what if I miss?

My other option was the free-flying traffic coming. The other way, I wanted to chuck it when, like, a massive truck was coming. So it would, like, go boing and bounce off a truck. Oh, no, that's bloody stupid. I knew that was silly. Well, so is the other option. That was in my mind. I was like, that would be cool to do, but I know that that's silly

because that could cause an accident. But all I'm doing is lobbing it and seeing if I can lob it into the back of this guy's ute through the open back canopy. It's calling traffic. Yeah. Me thinks you'd be able to do it. A hundred percent.

She's on board. Where were you yesterday? You're saying if you were in the car, you would have let Vaughan, who had already at this age had his hand out the window with the ball, do this.

I said, you can be fired for this. You can be arrested. You're always the most conservative out of the three of us, depending on what we're doing. Depending on activities. And then I knew that I couldn't go overboard because if I'd carried on going overboard,

Vaughn would have definitely done it. You did actually balance that really well. I did, yes. I knew to pull back. Because I kept going, and pretending to check it. And then he was trying to do up my electric window from his side so I wouldn't do it.

I was like, don't you dare. And then the guy would have got out and punched us. Why would he have punched us? He just would have been like, I've got a tennis ball now. Exactly. I just got a free tennis ball. I'm sorry, Vaughan, you needed me. And I would have been like, you're welcome.

Producer Caitlin, back me up here. If you were in the car, would you have let Vaughan throw a tennis ball into the back of the ute? I was driving, so it would have been across because he was across the lane. So it would have been over and across the ute, our ute, into the back of his ute. James, you're sensible. Would you? Well, I would have looked at the guy first and sort of thought, how will he react to this? Well, we didn't see him at the stage.

Okay. Yeah, I would be a bit iffy about it, but I'd probably give in. No, you're a bloody child. You can't do it. Because what if he got a fright and put his foot on the accelerator or something because he thought someone was trying to attack him and then crashed into all the cars in front of you?

He shouldn't be driving. There's many things that can give you a fright when you're driving. You don't stay with your foot on the accelerator. Next time someone is doing a driving test, you know you're doing a driving test and they're like, identify six hazards and they just drop it on their lap

and be like, someone could throw a tennis ball into the back of the ute. At any stage. It could give me a fright. I've got an open back ute, someone could throw something onto the tray.

I mean, technically they'd have to give you that because it could happen. That is a, well, I very nearly made it a hazard for somebody. But now that I haven't done it

and I got home and I said to Sade, oh man, I almost threw a tennis ball from the ute into the back of another ute. She wouldn't have let you. She was, exactly. She said, why did you want to do that? That's stupid. Now I want to do it more than ever.

This is why I'm your... On the weekend, come in my car with a tennis ball and we'll find a ute on the motorway. You will not do this. It would be a fitting farewell to your convertible. You drive, I'll stand up. We'll put the top down. And I'll just throw tennis balls into people's cars.

Like if they've got an open window, I'll be like, hey, and just lob a tennis ball in. Like it'd be weird, but at the end of the day, they just got a free tennis ball. What if a tennis ball lodges under their brake pedal? I mean, small chance. You've got to take your risks. You're pretty much Oprah

handing out tennis balls on the motorway. You get a tennis ball, you get a tennis ball, you get a tennis ball. Because then I was thinking how much fun it would be to be on the back of a Ute. You know how it's always like a Toyota high-ace that Al-Qaeda use? They mount a machine out on the back. Where did they get that from?

Is there a Toyota dealership? Yeah. If I were to Toyota, I'd be very suspicious if someone came in and was like, what sort of load can it have on the back? I'd be like, why? What are you transporting you, fella? What have you got in mind?

A machine gun or like a bale of hay? He'd be like, bale of hay? I'd be like, okay, okay, guy. But then I was imagining a tennis ball gun mounted on the back of the ute and just how much carnage you'd cause in traffic. Okay, now you're there. Just going down the road. Just going like, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog.

And they'd be like, boing, boing, boing, boing, bouncing off everybody's cars. It'd be absolute carnage. It'd be awesome fun. Thank God you're not stuck in Pekoa traffic every day. I'd lose, yeah. Your job, your life. Everything. Friday Flashback.

Flashback, flashback. Alright, well, it's Vaughan's pick for Friday Flashback today and we're going back. It's an old song this one. Yeah, our last trip to the 90s was quite successful with a little Billy Ray. So I thought, this kind of popped into my mind as someone described

this musician on my Instagram story. I don't even know how to attribute this to. Okay. They said that this musician Billy Eilish is the modern day equivalent. Like she's kind of filling the same sort of gap. Okay. This like angsty sort of teenage Yeah. And it's kind of filling the same sort of gap. Okay. This like angsty sort of

teenage. Yeah. And it's kind of like the game change that this person did. Okay. Yeah. That rules out Hootie and the Blowfish. Or Smash Mouth. The person that co-wrote this song

has written so many songs for the likes of Katy Perry, Christina Aguilera, Aerosmith, like forever in a huge range of different people. Miley. So they're rich. They're very rich. I would say quite well off, yeah. Okay.

Miley. Oh, wrote for Miley. Yeah, wrote for Miley. Right. He's done some running for the Miley. Good lord. For Miley. Yeah, wrote for Miley. Right. He's done some running for the Miley. Good lord. For Miley.

Some of the Red Hot Chili Peppers helped out on the studio recording of this song. Really? That's a fact I didn't know. Okay. Ross Boss did some

quick calculations. He said that he looked into how many households there were in New Zealand in 1995. Yeah. And how many albums this sold in 1995.

And 20% of every New Zealand house would have had a copy of the album that this song is off. God, does he work for Statistics New Zealand or something? Or is his Ritalin kicked in? He said his Ritalin was starting to kick in and he needed to burn through some of his study capability that he had. Okay. I mean, this is an amazing song. And there's all like, there's a few songs written about people throughout history. And no one's quite sure who they're written about.

One of that songs is that old song, You're So Vain. And this is another one. No one's really sure who this song was written about. Rumors are that it may have been David Schwimmer, Ross from Friends. Today's Friday flashback from 1995 off the album Jagged Little Pill is Alanis Morissette's You Oughta Know. All right. I want you to know

That I'm happy for you I wish nothing but the best for you both I know the version of me, if she preferred it like me Would she go down on you in a theater? Does she speak eloquently and would she have your baby? I'm sure she'd make a really excellent mother Cause the love that you gave that we made Wasn't able to make it enough for you to be open wide

No And every time you speak her name Does she know how you told me it all played out Till you died, till you died When you're still alive And I'm here To remind you of the mess you left when you went away. It's not fair to deny me of the cross I bear.

The trick they can make you, you, you, I don't know You seem very ill Things look peaceful I'm not quite as well I thought you should know Did you forget about me, Mr. Duplicity? I hate to bug you in the middle of dinner There was a slap in the face, how quickly I was replaced And I am thinking of me when you hurt

Cause the love that you gave that we made Wasn't able to make it enough for you to be open wide And every time you speak her name, does she know how you told me it'd hold for you Till you died, till you died, but you're still alive And I'm here to remind you of the mess you left when you went away It's not fair to deny me Of the cross I made and the chicken to miss You, you, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, Cause the joke that you laid in the bed that was made

I'm not gonna fade as soon as you close your eyes And you know it And every time I scratch my nails down Someone else is back, I hope you know it And every time I scratch my nails down Someone else is back I hope you feel it Well, can you feel it? Well, I'm here

To remind you Of the mess you left When you went away It's not fair To deny me Of the cross I bear. Let you get to me. You, you, you ought to know why I'm here.

To remind you of a mess you left when you went away. It's not fair to deny me of the across the side, man, I checked in to make you, you, you, I didn't know. Alanis Morissette, You Oughta Know, Friday Flashback on ZM. That song is about to have somewhat of a resurgence here in New Zealand. There is a movie. We've been lucky enough to see a preview of it. What do they call it? Booksmart.

Yeah, kind of the female, what was the McLovin? Superbad. Superbad, yeah. Female Superbad. It is so good. So funny. Such an amazing movie. And they sing that song

and they're like, wah, wah, wah. So, it's not about David Schwimmer, it's about Uncle Joey on Full House. Dave Coulier. Okay. Cut it out.

Yay. She kind of. Let's never forget. She bookended the 90s with Two Babes. She started with Uncle Joey on Full House, ended with Ryan Reynolds. Yeah. Remember that? Yeah.

Had her way with Ryan Reynolds. I know. And she was in, do you remember when she was in that TV show Weeds? Yes. Yeah. Remember that show? Went on too long. She's great. Yeah. Great. Somebody said show? Went on too long. She's great.

Yeah. Great. Somebody said, this is my favourite song when I was five. Now that I know what all the words mean, highly inappropriate five-year-old's favourite song. Well, that makes your kids listen to Lizzo's. Well, it's probably about the same. Someone said, my five-year-old just turned the radio on a little bit

while I was singing really loudly and asked, Mummy, why am I singing so angry? It was a different time. It was an event, wasn't it? Yeah. It was a release. Nice. So would you say good response?

You know what? People love that song, but you know, a few people sang it's not really their cup of tea at all. Okay. But I mean, they're morons, so you can't please everybody. Okay, sure. All right. I want to talk now about if you've ever honey trapped someone.

What is honey trapping again? Isn't it a spy thing? Oh, I don't know what the official term is. I don't know. Is this the official term or something we've adopted? When a hot spy sleeps with someone for secret plans. They use their sexual guile to get what they want. Oh, okay.

I guess you could do that in civilian life. This is, I guess, using their sexual guile to get what they want, in a way. A girl has tricked her boyfriend. She set a trap. Oh, okay. So I want to know if anyone set a trap. Dig a hole in the lounge and cover it with a blanket and put spears in the bottom of it? Did you ever do that at the beach?

That was quite horrific, eh? A horrendous thing to do, yes. When you think about it. I mean, we didn't leave it there, but you'd do it for a laugh with little bits of driftwood. Yeah, it was really dangerous. It was a different time. So this is in England.

Sophie, she suspected her boyfriend Daniel was cheating. He'd become distant and she'd tried talking to him about it. He was like, no, you're making it up. So she's like, okay, I'm going to start a fake Facebook profile because she had an inkling that he was talking to girls on Facebook, finding hotties on Facebook and talking to them. She started a fake Facebook profile, posed as a hottie named Daisy, and added her boyfriend as a friend as Daisy.

He quickly accepted. He fell for it? She just Googled a picture of a hottie and used that as the picture of Facebook's profile. So she's catfishing her own boyfriend, basically. So Daniel took the bait and sent her a message saying,

hey cutie, kissy kissy kiss. So they chatted for a little bit and she was like, this is awful. This is awful? Well, as in your partner's literally literally going for this daisy chick. Meanwhile, in real life, she's just feeling distant from him and he's just not engaged in that.

Well, he's clocked out, hasn't he? He's clocked out of the relationship. So she confronted him again and he was like denying anything. Right. So she thought, okay, well, I'm going to meet up with him. Brilliant. Okay. So when they, okay, well, I'm going to meet up with him. Brilliant. Okay. So when they went away for a weekend or whatever, he said, oh, I'm just going to go out. I don't know what his excuse was, but he arranged to go out to meet Daisy. Yeah. And he actually called her, Daisy. Yeah. On a separate phone. Or is it Facebook chat maybe?

Yeah. Okay. Before they met up and she had to put on a different voice. Hello. Is that you, Daisy? Yes. Oh, maybe this was a bad idea. So she had to put on a voice, but yeah, the way she couldn't keep the facade up and ended up saying to him, this is actually your girlfriend.

He then claimed that he knew it all along and thought it was a game they were playing. Oh, of course he did. Yeah, right. But eventually got found out and they are no longer together. And so she shared it all online. She shared it all online. She set him a massive trap.

Right. I feel like if you're that far down and he's that clocked out. Yeah, if you're setting a trap and yeah. You'd probably break up with him on the fact that he's clocked out of the relationship more than. We're not into this anymore. But I was wondering, has anyone set a trap for their partner? A cheating trap.

A cheating trap. Guys or girls? And what happened? Oh, okay. Did you actually meet up? And people would do some stakeouts too. Yeah. So I've done this.

I put a cage out on the lawn and a bit of apple on this hook. And they went in to get the apple. And when they tried to pull the apple off, the gate shut behind them. Oh, brilliant. Okay. Did you say possum or partner? Partner. Oh, okay.

Yeah, no, it still sits. That's how I got Sade. I caught her in a trap using a little slice of apple. But I reckon, yeah, people are like, she's so much hotter than you. I'm like, well, I trapped her with a slice of apple. People don't say that, do they? Not out loud.

Not to my face. I definitely think people would have done this in New Zealand. Do you? 100%. You can be anonymous. Also, not going to judge. Yeah, let's take some calls. Oh, $800 atARS at M9696.

Have you set a relationship cheating trap? And how did it go down? How did you get the evidence that you needed? Because that's the thing. Someone's distant and you've got these suspicions, but you need hard evidence, don't you? Because you can't take it to trial otherwise. The DA will throw it out.

You want to go and judge Judy, you want some good evidence. So 0800 DARS at M9696. Give us a call. We want to go and judge Judy, you want some good evidence. So, 0800-DARLS-AT-M-9696, give us a call. We want to know if you've ever set a trap this morning to expose a cheater, cheater, pumpkin eater. Sophie in England set a trap for her boyfriend, Daniel. She set up a fake Facebook profile and, yeah, totally caught him out. And that didn't sound like hard work either. I thought we would be stretching to find a couple.

No, I didn't. I knew this would be the case. Many text messages. Apparently there's a dating app called Plenty of Fish. Okay. Now, many dating app stories are coming in. Yeah. You set up a fake profile.

So is this the same as like Tinder and Bumble and all that? Very similar. Yeah. You set up a fake profile. So is this the same as like Tinder and Bumble and all that? Very similar. Okay. I set up, somebody suspected my boyfriend was on there. So I went on, found him, gave him the opportunity to tell me plenty of times. Yeah. I even used the sentence, have you been fishing recently? To which he replied, I hate fishing.

And then I said, well, why do you want plenty of fish? Great. Great. Yeah, that was good. Great line there. You thought about that. I, why do you want plenty of fish? Great. Great. Great line there. You thought about that. I hope the delivery was 10 out of 10. He denied it, but then I found out and I confirmed that he had been meeting up with people. Right. Because that's just probably what you need. You need to confirm it.

But then like you say, like if you're getting the cold shoulder and it's not working. Your intuition's usually right. Like, just confront them and move on. Sandra, what happened? Morning. Morning. About, I would say it was about 11 years ago, quite a while.

I was a young, well, young, 30, in my 30s. And I had a four-year-old daughter. And I was dating this guy for a year and a half. And he was quite distant. And my intuition, as you guys talked about, told me that something's not right. Yeah. So he was always on the computer when he was home. And eventually, I took the guts and I had a look to find him on dating apps.

And back then was, was you know if you remember find someone and stuff like that yeah yeah I found him on three different sites posing as a single person looking for love oh and and why what did he say when you hit him up um I didn't hit him up I was quite in distress as as you can imagine. I talked with my boss about it. I had a pretty good relationship with him. And he offered to be the bait for me. He offered to put up a profile and to contact him and just to find out if it was really him

because there was no photo, but it was everything else fitted. Wow. And so he set up a profile and called, but it was everything else fitted. Wow. And so he set up a profile and called him? Yeah, that's correct. Wow. They started emailing each other and even wanting to meet. And it was quite a raunchy conversation that they had. And are they together now?

No, they work particularly awkward. Sandra, thanks. You're called David. conversation that they had. And are they together now? No, they work particularly awkward. Sandra, thanks. You're cool. David, when did you set a trap? David. Hi, hi.

Sorry, sorry. My wife's brother, an extremely interesting gentleman, is probably the best way to put it. Had a child with a girl and he was a farmer. He started saying he was having trouble sleeping at night

and so he started sleeping in his friend's place in quotation marks up the road. And he was fishing regularly with this friend and in the end him and the friend ended up getting together and running off and leaving this poor girl with her child which is a pattern this

interesting man has and the long and the short of it is his sister which is my wife and I sort of had enough of this so we set up a profile on Facebook and asked him out to tea, so in a flash.

Asked him out to tea. The sexiest meal. And I think just for a free pun, I think it was at Lone Star. See, I'd fall for a Lone Star free meal, yeah. He obviously, he chatted to the girl the afternoon before.

I can't tell you what the chat was, but I'm sure it was as raunchy as what the last lady was saying. There's a lot of raunchy chat going on here in these chats. It's weird that guys have volunteered themselves to raunchy chat to other guys. Isn't it? It's like, yeah, it got pretty raunchy there. My boss, who was a dude, was talking to this dude about all this stuff he was going to do to him. It was all very It's like, it got pretty raunchy there. My boss, who was a dude, was talking to this dude

about all this stuff he was going to do to him. It was all very, not like the first time he had written it. David, thanks for your call. Some text messages.

Somebody else said, I set up a fake profile in 2011 when I suspected my partner of cheating while I was nine months pregnant with his son. Oh no.

He fell for it hook, line and sinker. He even tried to talk his way out of it. He tried to talk his way out of it. He tried to talk his way out of it when I busted him and presented the evidence and saying, oh no, that's not me. My account

must have been hacked. Oh yeah, that's the logical explanation. Oh no sir, that's not at all how they did it. Somebody else said they did this like old school styles. They just text them. Oh, yeah. And tried to make it off like a wrong number.

And their boyfriend was so thirsty for it, he started like texting back asking who the person was. Wow. That's not even setting a trap. That's just having the fish like jump straight into your boat really, isn't it? Yeah, yeah, yeah, it is. Stab itself through the brain. Be like, I'll fill it myself, mate.

Fact of the day, day, yeah, yeah it is. Stab itself through the brain. Be like, I'll fill it myself mate. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Today's fact of the day is about the alphabet. And you know when you go through the alphabet, when you're learning it, you're like, there's a book that might be

A is for apple, yummy and sweet. B is for banana. For a fruit, it's hard to beat. This is just making up off the top of my head. C is for carrot. I was going to say long and orange, but then I couldn't follow it up with anything that rhymes with orange. Moringe.

You're welcome. D, C is for carrot. anything that rhymes with orange. Morange. You're welcome. C is for carrot. It's long and orange. D is for dog, which you have named morange. There you go. Yeah, and it goes through. So when you would do that, what would you use when you got to X? X-ray.

X is for xylophone. That was not scripted. That was not scripted. But you have named the two Xs that people always use for X. Yeah, I can't think of any. Xylophone and X-ray. But what did the English language use before X-rays were invented? Oh, yeah.

And before xylophone was a well-known term in the West. Because apparently xylophones, it wasn't a well-known term in the West until... X-men. Like, yeah. X is for X-men. X is for the X-men. Well, and technically you could say that

because X-ray is X-ray and X-men is X-men. X-men, yes. Yeah, true. And there's the bugger all. I've seen one where it's like X is for fox. Are you Googling X-ers at the end? Xerox. No, that's a company. the bugger all. I've seen one where it's like X is for fox. Are you Googling X words at the end? Xerox. No, that's a company.

And that also starts with a Z, doesn't it? No. But you're thinking of zero. Xerox. Xerox. Oh, yeah, it is an X, is it? Is it? Apologise, please.

It is an X. Okay, sorry, yeah. So before X-rays and xylophones, It was always X's for Xerxes. Oh. What? The ancient Persian king, Xerxes. Have you ever watched the movie The 300 with Jared Butler and all those other hot dudes with their shirts off?

Yeah. It was about 300 of them, give or take. Is that a joke? I don't get it. That was good. I don't get it. 300, Megan. It's called 300 because the 300 Spartans went.

Famously. Oh, no, I got it. Just wasn't funny. Famously. And I said, there was all those dudes with their shirts off. 300, give or take. Yeah. No, there was.

It was exactly 300. Right. Oh, okay. I don't know. I liked it. I liked it. I really liked it. I'm quite a fan of most of my work.

As long as you've always got your own back. As long as you're laughing at your jokes. So Xerxes was always used as the X. So you would say X is for Xerxes, a king who lives no more. There was W is for Woodman, who in winter cuts fuel, but he should really be cutting in the summer. You want to cut your wood in the summer. It'll be too wet if you leave it to winter.

But anyway, W is for Woodman who in winter cuts fuel. X is for king Xerxes, conceited and cruel. Oh, okay. So it was always the W is for wagon, for wiggin, for wing, for whale and for wine and for wrist. That's a weird... X is for Xerxes, a famous old king, but for words not a very long list.

So meaning there was nothing really else that started with X that they could use. I found a list of like heaps of X words. So you would say the word like xylophone, right? Yep. For all of these. Yeah. A xylographer is a 19th century word for a wood engraver. A xylographer?

Yeah. Okay, okay. What else have you got there? Go on, have a go at saying them. is a 19th century word for a wood engraver. A xylographer? Yeah. Okay, okay. What else have you got there? Go on, have a go at saying them. A xyrexic means razor sharp. If that's xyrexic, razor sharp. That would be hard to put into a kid's... A xyrophobia is a fear of being close

or touching sharp implements. So there seems to be like, because the engraver, the sharp edge, and the fear of sharpness things. It seems like that's quite, like the zi sound, very associated to sharpness. Yeah, right. Which I didn't know either.

You're learning lots today, aren't we? Everybody's learning lots today. So today's fact of the day is before x-rays and xylophones, when you were doing the alphabet, you would say X is for Xerxes, which I've probably been saying wrong all this time. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Yesterday we went to the field days and it was fun and it was great ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. Yesterday we went to the field days and it was fun and it was great

and it was Fletch's first field days. And heaps of people noticed that his red band gumboots, he'd rubbed mud on them at the car park. It did look like that. It did look like you rubbed mud on them. Well, they were brand new. Actually, no, I'd worn them before to wild foods when we went as farmers. Yeah.

When we dressed up. That's the only other time I've went as farmers. Yeah. When we dressed up. That's the only other time I've worn mine too. Yeah. What do you wear when you mow the lawns? Oh, just some shoes. Babes, what are you doing? You've got gummies. No, but grass goes in there.

Red pen gummies. Yeah, no, I don't want to wear gummies. Well, anyway, as soon as we arrived into the car park, Hilary Barry was there, Hilbaz, mother of the nation. You got on Hilbaz's brain. I know. Mother of the nation. What. Hilbaz, mother of the nation. You got on Hilbaz's car. I know. Mother of the nation. What are we?

Auntie. Auntie of the nation. Call young auntie of the nation. Call young auntie of the nation. She was also wearing a red swan dry. Hers looked equally as new. Well, yeah,

this is true. Yeah. Yeah. Hers looks chic. Couple of newbies into the swan dry. I got on a gram. I know, I saw that.

This is brilliant. It's an already exciting start to the field. I hadn't even gone in the main gate. Yeah. Imagine, I'm f a gram. I know, I saw that. It's brilliant. It's an already exciting start to the field days. We hadn't even gone in the main gate. Yeah. Imagine, I'm fizzing at this point, Megan. Yeah. You've seen hillbass.

Yeah. Then we start walking into the field days and Fletch actually sees how big it is and he's like, it's so big. I was like, well, yeah, it's the biggest of its kind in the southern hemisphere, isn't it? Is it?

I think so. Well, it used to be. It might, Australia's probably gone a bit. And by the way, what rules? South Africa couldn't because everyone wanted to steal the tractors. Oh, yeah. Is it true? Because everyone was there.

It seemed like everyone. I don't know, like a million people. Yeah. But did kids get a day off school? Because they were like, no, you just take a day off school. Heaps of agricultural classes do like a field day's trip one day and then the next day most kids just take. But it's kind of like nobody really worries too much about it.

It was heavy. Like teachers don't care. Did you see kids with like pet cows? Because Warren always talks about, is it calf day or is that something different? That's different. No, that's different. Oh, okay. No, but there were like pet animals there, but it was people like showcasing new breeds or.

Right. Yeah, they were like $900 shapes. Those black. Yeah. $900. Were they $900? They were $5,000 shapes. Oh, okay. Those black ones. Those Belois shapes. Yeah, they're like $900 shapes. Those black. $900, they were $5,000 shapes. Oh, okay.

Those black ones. Those Belois shapes. Yeah, they're very, very expensive. Those ones that everyone says are the cutest shapes in the world. They look like a wampa of Star Wars. You don't get like a pack of five or something. No, you don't get a pack. You get one.

You don't get a five pack. Oh, my God. But they're like a coffee cart. If you buy 10, you get your 11th. Oh, okay. That makes it worth it. That makes it, you know. So it was quite overwhelming. get your 11th for free. Oh okay. That makes it worth it. That makes it, you know. So it was quite overwhelming.

Eye opening for you. And I did get a few comments about the mud on the gumboots and my swan dry because it did look new. Look, it hadn't been worn before. Yeah.

And Fletch almost bought a dune buggy with nowhere to store it. No dunes to ride it on and literally living miles from anywhere he can possibly use it. I got started talking

to the guy. I was like, how much is one of these? I bought mine immediately. I was worried about Vaughn coming back with something from Field Days. Oh, Vaughn. You always bought a dune buggy. God, we were trying to walk around quickly and Vaughn wanted to stop at every store.

I need to look at things. I need to look at things. And you milked that fake cow. Yeah, I did milk that fake cow. Didn't have a good technique on milking the fake cow. They got smoked by some kids. But anyway, we went along for the goats on coats,

the swan dry goat coat. Yeah. We set up a stall and I tell you what, we hadn't even been set up a minute and already... Interest. Interest from people.

Really? Sold a couple. Did you get the profits for that? Yeah. Okay. Did you actually sell a couple of swans? Overwhelming success.

What's that? Overwhelming success. Yeah that? Overwhelming success Yeah, yeah Well we've created this huge vacuum of demand now So now we just sit back and reap the benefits Right

I think that's how business works That's how business works Pretty much Well you're talking to a guy who on day one has sold out completely Megan so I think I know business

I mean he sold two that sold out so sure Yeah sure but I said you created demand now everyone's gonna want one So still on today and tomorrow. And tomorrow, yeah.

Fielddays.co.nz for tickets. And yeah, they were giving out free buckets. I didn't get a free bucket. No. Who was giving out the free buckets again? I don't know. I got a free pen and that was it. But people had sticks and pipes and buckets and pens and lollies.

Yeah. There was that place they had taped up lollies. Yeah, there was a display. You had to guess how many lollies were in there, but they'd let had taped up lollies. Yeah, there was a display. You had to guess how many lollies were in there but they'd let you have a free sample of molasses. I was trying to get the lid off

to get the free lollies. They tricked us into eating molasses. It's quite yucky. But they had free samples of foods and stuff. It was great. By the way, if you do poos

and it's a little bit black, it's the molasses. It's very rich. It's like beetroot. You need to write an M on your hand. Yeah, M. Just to remind you. Just to remember you've had it. Molasses. It's very rich. It's like beetroot. You need to write an M on your hand. Yeah, M. Just to remind you. Just to remember you've had it.

Molasses. Thank you.