ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Megan Podcast - June 17 2019

Episode Date: June 16, 2019

Its Augusts first day of school today, Bree and Matt - Hosts of Celebrity Treasure Island are on the show and what did you have to throw out when you got a partner?See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

ZM. Head music lives here. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. Hello, good morning. Welcome to the show, Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. Happy Monday. Happy Monday. Happy Monday. Happy Monday. I stood up too fast and now I feel tingly. Tingly? Not like light-headed, but just my whole body feels tingly. You've got to take it easy, mate.

Get up slowly. It's not a good sign, is it? Waking up to news this morning that these Spice Girls said on stage, announced on stage that they're coming to Australia. See you in Australia, which is hilarious for all my mates who went to England to go and see them. Belle's just gone last night. Who does the day show?

Yeah, she said they're amazing. She was there anyway, wasn't she? She didn't go specifically to the postcard. No, she did. She bought tickets last year. She was online. And then did a European trip around it. I thought it was just a heavy coincidence.

No, because those tickets sold out like in a second. Super fast. Yeah, super fast. Right. Planned it. So, yeah, so apparently February, they said, see you February, Australia, which is making people say, are they going to come here?

People are going to say, are they going to come here? Yeah. I can see them playing the Trust Stadium. Because, like, you have to – no one ever comes here because they have such a, like, massive get-up, and then you have to get it overseas, like, over the Tasman just for one show or whatever it's never worth it a show of that

production you'd probably want to know that you could sell out two or three right oh they definitely could I don't want to book flights though

to Sydney and a hotel at the Travelodge or wherever and then Mal B has one of her tanties and then the show gets cancelled

yeah but she's it's never been a tantee enough to not make it on stage. Because she needs the money. Because she's had three marriages or whatever. Yeah, she is just chucking a tanty and someone's like, no money.

She's like, I'm tiny. All right. Top six, so Spice Girls related? Yes, it is. With the Spice Girls coming to Australia, the top six spices they could add to the line-up to replace Victoria, whom I'm imagining still won't be coming. Oh, still top six spices they could add to the line-up to replace Victoria. Whom I'm imagining still won't be coming.

Oh, still won't. No. Alright, children. Listen up. It's story time. Something nice I can do with your mother. Fletch has fully traversed into my granddad about his birthday. It's just another day, isn't it?

My one memory of my papa was always, happy birthday, papa. Oh, It's just another day, isn't it? That's like, just another day. My one memory of my papa was always, happy birthday, papa. Oh, it's just another day. That's what my parents always say when you call them. Oh, it's just another day. Miserable old pricks. What sweet. I'll take that present back then.

Cheer up, you old prick. I bought you a bloody block of caramello chocolate. It's just another day, isn't it? I'm going to go caramello chocolate. This is another day, isn't it? I'm going to go bloody watch the news. It is another day. But, I mean, I'll gladly accept presents. It's the day you were born. It's a wonderful day.

It's just another day, isn't it? It's another bloody loop around the sun. That's to be celebrated. Yeah. Not everybody gets as many as you have had. That's true. Do they? All right.

Story time. Three news headlines. Vaughan and Megan picked one headline, and then we delve into that. Three great stories today. I think it'll be hard for you to pick. Headline one, expensive Uber. Headline two, two degrees of Kevin Bacon

for traffic cop. And headline three, dad sticks to task at hand. Dad sticks to task at hand. He's stuck himself to something. Yeah. Yeah, you've got it. And what's he stuck to? Stuck to the lawnmower?

That's a dad task. Yeah. Two degrees of Kevin Bacon for a police officer? Yeah. Is it actually Kevin Bacon? I'm not going to go into the story. I would be down for it if it's a Kevin Bacon story. It does involve Kevin, ah, Kevin Bacon. Kevin Bacon.

Ah, Kevin Bacon. Right. I'm not, I'm not saying. If I had a pig, I'd probably call him Kevin Bacon. Yeah. Yeah. You should get a pig. There was a famous pig. I do, pig, I'd probably call him Kevin Bacon. Yeah. Yeah. You should get a pig. There was a famous pig called Kevin Bacon.

They had it at the grounds in Sydney and someone stole Kevin Bacon. Oh, that's right. Remember that? They stole him? Or he went missing and then he ended up on a... I don't know. Was it like a hippie protest? No, I don't.

I can't actually remember off the top of my head, but it was big news in Sydney. I'm sure when Kevin Bacon ever smelt the cooking bacon at the cafe next door, he was like, what is that? Man. I just can't get enough. Well, do we want that story then?

What do you want? Kevin Bacon. Do you want Kevin Bacon? Yeah. I want bacon too now. Now you're sure. Well, you'll all be familiar with Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon or Bacon's Law. That is the basic premise that anyone in Hollywood can be connected to Kevin Bacon through six steps or less.

Yeah. That is by movies and roles that they've been in because they were so prolific in like the 80s and 90s. And I think Kiwis going overseas, it seems like two or three degrees of separation. In New Zealand? In New Zealand, yeah. Like someone will be overseas, do you know this guy? We don't know everyone in New Zealand. Oh, yeah, actually.

Yeah, actually, I do. I've actually had that situation where I'm like, oh, yeah, actually, I do know that person through that person. Yeah. But this story comes to us from America. And a motorist named Kevin Bacon was on his phone and police say he was using an internet search engine to search for a specific episode of the 90s television sitcom Saved by the Bell when he sideswiped a Vermont police car that had stopped to aid the driver of a disabled vehicle.

How's that for a barriagraph? Good lord. What episode was he looking for? It doesn't say. I need to know what Saved by the Bell episode he was looking for. So here's the smoking gun who have famously for, as long as the internet's been around, the smoking gun has incredible mug shots.

Yeah. They've got a mug shot of Kevin Bacon. Doesn't look too happy. He has a great Vermont moustache. So you'd imagine a rural American Vermont man to have. According to Vermont State Police, 55-year-old Kevin Bacon was driving

his car when he struck the cruiser on the Interstate 91. The driver of the squad car was aiding a motorist. Apparently Mr. Bacon drove a short distance and then stopped his vehicle before fleeing the scene. But they were able to catch up with Bacon and he was arrested.

The episode he was looking for was the episode, it was the third episode of season five. It was called Screech's Spaghetti Sauce, where Screech, played by Dustin Diamond, is targeted by a gold digger when his spaghetti sauce business Becomes a huge success Brilliant That was the

That was the episode That he was looking for I don't know It doesn't say why He was looking for that episode And that's why We shouldn't use our phones When we're driving

Yes Because we would Sideswipe people Yeah Do you think the Kevin Bacon thing Would still be a Six degrees thing now

You know there was Somebody Not Wouldn't you be more six degrees thing now? You know, there was somebody... Wouldn't you be more using someone else now? Like an actor that's been in everything, like Samuel L. Jackson? Samuel L. Jackson, degrees of separation would be good. Or The Rock, he's in like every second movie. Yeah, yeah.

And you know, give it another ten years, those two will probably be six degrees, I don't know. Yeah. There was one person that was more well-connected than Kevin Bacon, according to IMDB, but it was someone in, like, the lighting department or something. Oh, okay. They were the go-to guy for lighting. So he'd worked on heaps of movies.

Yeah, right. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. I'm not meaning to be mean, or I just happened to have stumbled across this on your birthday week, Fletch, but I have stumbled across an article which has explained what happens to your penis as you get old. Okay. So it's quite, it actually has been referred to as a banana.

So like a banana. Like into. Like into a banana. Oh, it's not going to go brown and spotty, is it? And shrivel up and then be good for a banana cake? Put it in the freezer. And then leave it there for like ever. No, it won't go brown.

But it is going to change size and potentially shrink a little bit. Well, that's not good news. Shrink? So you're... But I thought gravity would have just like done its part because like the balls just continue

to get longer right? We'll get to that. That's unfair. So when you start producing testosterone

is when you go through puberty and everything happens and once you get over 40 testosterone decreases which can actually change your penis size and and everything happens. And once you get over 40, testosterone decreases, which can actually change your penis size.

Oh, okay. And it will probably get smaller. Small. This is not good news. Yeah. Is there any good news in this, Megan, at all? It depends how you look at it. Okay.

I mean, if you're a massive one and it's always hindered you your whole life after 40, then it's great news. There is a chance it could develop a deeper curve. So there is already shapes, banana, cone and pepper. But if you're not already... What's pepper? Like banana? Don't they mean like a bell pepper?

Cone. But it makes people sneeze. Like a capsicum. Oh, right. Capsicum. What? No, we're talking about shape. What?

Like a joke. Um, we need to look up the different types of shape of... Penis shapes. Now, paper. Is that just what you call it? Co. There are seven definitive penis shapes. Right.

Hold on. So if you're not already a banana... Hey, ZM printed this article. Good work. Last August. Brilliant. Uh, so the pencil, right, long and thin. I think we spoke about this, didn't we?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. This is all ringing a bell now. But yeah, the pepper's a bit chodier. Yeah. The cone. So if you already have a banana, you might be all right. But if you tend to have a pretty straight one or there's a little curve, then it's probably going to get more of a curve, weirdly.

But why does it curve? Is it like, because with one of my plants, the plant like goes towards the sun and curves that way. Is that a similar thing? It's curving towards the sun. Towards what? Your belly button or? It's a condition known as Peyronie's disease,

where scar tissue can build up on the inside and it'll affect the way it. Right. Scar tissue changes the meaning of that chilli pepper song a little bit. You may experience erectile dysfunction that occurs in 50 to 55% of men between 40 to 70. What constitutes erectile dysfunction? I don't know.

Not being able to do something and it doesn't? Yeah, right. Not being able to perform, I guess. Yeah. That'd be like from a guy who's lived a lifetime of it performing when you don't know. Not being able to do something and it doesn't. Yeah, right. Not being able to perform, I guess. Yeah. That'd be like from a guy who's lived a lifetime of it performing when you don't want it to. That will be a weird change of pace. And here's where we get to, what shall I call it?

Like berries. Are you kidding me? The berries. Is there more bad news? Yeah, so you were asking about the berries. They will droop and shrink. The berries. the plums. So that the bolos

will get smaller and hang lower. This is all like out of whack for ratio. Because you've got the sack getting longer, the potatoes in the sack getting smaller. And the bananas shrinking and bending.

And the bananas shrinking and bending. It's not the most attractive thing to start with, and then it's just like really turning into a mess. Okay, hey, have a look between your own legs before you start telling my gender that it's a mess down there. Yeah. You know? Any word on what happens to the vaheen

in the ageing process? It just stays right. Right. It's not going to droop, is it? I tell you what, you're very rarely going to find a male that will complain about it. If you're looking to land the big one,

I'd probably be heading down to Twisell if I were you because 2,000 salmon have escaped a commercial salmon farm. Now, apparently these are big dogs too, so it would be quite the land. Do you say that with fishing? You land a fish. Land a fish. Catch a fish.

Catch a fish. It would be quite the fish. Quite the catch. Quite the catch. Yeah, quite the catch. Land the big one. I don't know. I'm not good at fishing. So anyway, apparently nearly 2,000 have escaped.

So you see these like in the Marlborough Sounds or in like, they're just fenced areas, aren't they? They look like. Is that the one? Because I went to a salmon farm in Twisell. Is it? How many are there? I don't know how many there are.

Apparently those canals they've got around there are like the perfect condition. So you can visit. Yeah. And do what? Pat them. Look at them. Take them out for a photo. Can you solve them up for a photo?

With like Mount Cook in the background. And then put them back in. I don't know. Well, this is near you, Caitlin. Isn't it? Your home. Twizzle? It's about 40 minutes from Fairleigh.

So how many salmon farms are there? Have you been to one of these? I've seen them. Yeah, there's heaps. Oh, I see. Right. But I'm against it now because I'm vegetarian. Who cares?

Who cares? Does Doug go salmon fishing? Doug? No, no, no, no. No, I don't think. I thought Doug would be right up, like, just judging by his moustache. I don't think he'd own a pair of waders. I don't know if Doug likes salmon.

He doesn't. Rich? He does like fish and, like, all other meat. I don't think, yeah, I don't think salmon's, you know, salmon's very particular. Yeah, I love, because I love salmon. Yeah, yeah. No, he doesn't. But I'm sure he passes it every day when he goes and visits his bees and twice. His bees. Yeah, yeah. No, he doesn't. But I'm sure he passes it every day

when he goes and visits his bees in Twizel. His bees. Right, okay. So these big fat daddy fish are just out there and what people are like, sweet, I'm going to go catch them. Word got out really quickly.

Apparently yesterday there were just people everywhere on the banks. There's a picture of just like anglers lined up on the banks. Because couldn't they just be like, hey, back off. No, like fence off the area and go and catch they just be like, hey, back off, no,

like fence off the area and go and catch them themselves and put them back in? Well, yeah, but it's free game, isn't it? No, it'd be way too much work. There's people just literally just reeling in these huge salmon. Because do they inject them with steroids or whatever in these salmon farms? No, you just feed them and then they don't have much to swim. They're like, all right, Juice them up on roids?

7-4-B-8. You're ready for your injection. Yeah, right. I'll get out there and pump some iron, mate. No, it's just that they just feed them a lot. Right.

So they're nice and fat. They feed them so bad and then I don't think they need to swim as much. Right. So they're not burning as much energy. So, of course,

that just gets in there. So they're caged. Is that what you're saying? Well, yeah, they're not free range. Okay, right. So pretty... caged, is that what you're saying? Well, they're not free range. Okay, right. So pretty... Sad.

Yeah. Pretty within the thing. I don't know if they've got the capability to be sad. It's because they forget they're sad. Do they have their inherent brain function to be like, oh, I'm sad.

I don't know. Like, do they even know they escaped? No, probably not. Oh my God, this is great. Oh, I've forgotten. Where am I? And then back to start

because it's two seconds, eh? Or is that an urban myth? No, that's a, this is great. Oh, I've forgotten. Where am I? And then back to start because there's two seconds, eh? Or is that an urban myth? No, that's a goldfish. That's a goldfish. Well, how's a salmon different? No, salmon's just a big goldfish. No, those salmons

have a great memory because they've got their own omega-6 source. They're literally powered by omegas. They're probably actually far smarter than we give them credit for.

That's why they don't have Alzheimer's. Very hard. Brain function. Very hard why they don't have Alzheimer's. Very hard. Brain function. Very hard to spot a fish with Alzheimer's. They just get lost. Yeah, right. But you can't get lost if you're in a cage is what I'm saying.

Yeah, or a river. Hard to pick it. Hard to pick it. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. I don't like stories like this because it just reminds us that we don't get enough sleep and we're going to turn real haggard real quick. There is an exact amount

of sleep you need to look more attractive. Not getting it. We are not. We are absolutely not getting it. I think anyone that's up at this time

in the morning not getting it. They might go to sleep early. But it's hard when you love to be able to go to sleep early. But it's hard. I would love to be able to go to sleep early. You need to do the backwards amount of time, like go backwards from the time you need to sleep

to figure out what time we need to go to bed. Okay. So a study has revealed the time you need to be more attractive. Wait a minute, what time are you waking up? Four. You wake up at four. You're a 4.30-er, Fletch? Yep.

Me too. Is nine hours... Nine... No way. Nine hours. I can't even remember the last time I had anywhere near that. We know. Nine hours and ten minutes.

That is the average amount of sleep you need at night. I hope you're ready for a 7pm bedtime, Megan. Are you cutting that? You would be in bed before Shortland Street kicked off I'd have to be in bed at 7.30 No that's not, I can't sleep more than If I get in more than 7.5 hours I just start waking up

Or I don't feel as good The more you do it, would you be able to Sleep for that long? Because you know we're just in a pattern now Of waking up early I propose this to you Could you go to bed at I'm going to use the 4.30, 7.30 example. Yeah.

You go to bed at 9.30 every night, wake up at 4.30, and then a two-hour nap. Does that count as an accumulative or is it non-stop? When we went to that sleep, was it at Massey University? Yes, that was very interesting. I wanted to learn more from them. Yeah, didn't that, I think they said in some articles that I've read, it said as long as you're getting that sleep, it doesn't matter. Yeah, it doesn't matter.

But even, I mean, ideally, all in one, a deep sleep would be nice. But if you can get a couple of hours here and there, do it. Yeah. Because even a two-hour nap, that's too long to nap. You wake up feeling, yeah, like, wah. Which are the best is when you nap and you're like, just I'm not setting an alarm. I'm going to nap until I wake.

No, that's dangerous. But then you wake up and you're like, what time is it? Where am I? Like, where am I supposed to be? My children need to be picked up two hours ago. It's dark again. It's a dangerous roll of the dice. The perfect time, the perfect time to go to bed

and amount of sleep is 9.45 p.m. and you wake up at 6.55 a.m. and that equals nine hours and 10 minutes. And you will be more attractive. I guess because you don't have rings under your eyes, you don't look as tired. Bloodshot, yeah. And cumulatively, it can age your skin.

Great. Great. This is what we all need to hear after we've woken up after six or seven hours of sleep. Yeah, especially at the weekend when you promised yourself you were going to get more sleep, but you didn't. Yeah. No. From the ZM Think Tank, this is the Top Six. Hello there.

The Spice Girls have not officially announced Australian concerts But they did say see you in Australia At their show And from Australia and New Zealand who travel go Really? I just wasted thousands of dollars getting here Yeah it's not cheap to fly all this way

Although they haven't made an official announcement They said February next year But even if there's a couple of Sydney shows That's going to be so hard to get tickets for They haven't made an official announcement. They said February next year. Yeah. But even if there's a couple of Sydney shows, that's going to be so hard to get tickets for. Oh, yeah. Even if they're stadium. Like, where do they normally do the big Sydney ones?

That Olympic Stadium. I don't know. The Harbour. But they do a few. They're not just going to do one, right? You'd imagine, yeah, they do four or five. But they're still posh-less. Yeah.

She is the missing spice. So the top six local spices they could add in Australia to make're still posh-less. Yeah. She is the missing spice. So the top six local spices they could add in Australia to make up for posh's absence. Number six, fly spice. That's like the one they're always landing on you when you're in Australia.

And they go for your moist bits. They land on a lip or a nose or God forbid an eye. Have they had a fly land on your eye? No. Oh, shut it before they get there. See it coming. Even if you shut it and they're like on the lashes and they're like,

open up. There's some succulent hydration in there. I can just feel it. Number five on the list of the top six local spices. You must have a manky face. You've got flies all over. No, they know where the juices are. They come for the juices.

The top six local spices they could add in Australia to make up for Posh's absence are footy spice. Oh, yeah. And you just say footy. Footy. Footy spice. And probably in like a Collingwood singlet. Yeah.

With like some shorty shorts on. Yeah. Maybe a moulay at the back. Yep. But like some shorty shorts on. Yeah. Maybe a mule at the back. Yep. But short at the front, obviously. Business at the front, party at the back.

And then it doesn't have to be, like if they play in Melbourne, you could go footy, spice, and it could be AFL. And if they play in Sydney, footy, spice could be NRL

because footy is pretty much everything in Australia. Yeah, it is. If you can put your foot on a ball, it's footy. It's footy. Number four on the list,

and I would be very excited to see this, on the top six local spices they could add in Australia to make up for Posh's absence, Wiggle Spice. Oh, yeah. Australia's greatest four-piece. Britain's four-piece.

Merge them together. Get a wiggle on stage with the Spice Girls. Love it. That's all I'm going to say. Just wear a block colour polo. Yes. Yeah. I don't know which one

of the Wiggles could put their hand up to do this. Probably Emma. You met some of them last week. Oh my gosh. But they already have an Emma in Spice Girls.

Yeah, but they've already got a Mel. They've got two Mels. Oh yeah, true. That's true. Mel B, Mel C, Emma B. Well, it'd have to be Anthony, wouldn't it?

That'd be pretty great. Yeah. That'd be pretty great. Anthony. That'd be pretty great. Anthony the Wiggle? Yep. Head step up. Great mix. Number three on the list of the top six local spices to add in Australia

to make up for Posh's absence, Vegemite spice. And people either love them or they hate them. Yeah. Yeah. And there'll be someone in the crowd being like, should have been Marmite. It should have been Marmite. Yeah.

Number two on the list of the top six spices they can add in Australia to make up for Posh's absence are Bunnings sausage spice. This would be, basically this member of the Spice Girls would be a temporary member, but they'd be behind that little charity thing outside Bunnings

cooking, just flinging sausages into the crowd. Love it. I love this. Tell me what I want, what I really, really want. Tell me what I want, what I really, really want.

Sausage, sausage, sausage, sausage. Do you want some onions? That's a slipping hazard. So sausage, Bunnings sausage twice. Do they still not let you in with a sausage? I don't know

where they got to with that. Weird. Yeah. So I remember that being in the news and then when I was in Bunnings the other day don't know where they got to with that. Weird. Yeah. Because I remember that being in the news and then when I was in Bunnings the other day there were heaps of people

with dogs. I was like, well what if the dog does a poo and I slip on that? Oh, like actual dogs. Actual dogs. What do you think I meant?

Hot dogs. Oh, hot dogs. That advance from a simple sausage to a hot dog. Silly dogs like yours. And someone had a big dog too. No, it's not a silly dog.

No, and if it poos you're going to pick it up. I wouldn't. What? What were they buying? Was it the dog? No, they were just wandering around and I was like, how is this allowed? You're literally doing it to money?

Why? This is what I wondered. I don't know. Weird. They didn't ban onions on the thing. We should ask them. Sure, go for it. But like, obviously on a lead, right?

Yeah, they're on a lead. Yeah, so no harm, no foul. There should be a, like, and there's a kid's playground, and when you're a dad and you take your kids to Bunnings, you just put them in the playground, and it says they must be supervised, and you're like, whatever. They should have an area like that for dogs as well.

Yeah. No, because they're unsupervised. That's what hot cars are for in the car park. Oh, to look after dogs. Because it's hot, so it makes them sleepy. Yeah. No, because they're unsupervised. That's what hot cars are for in the car park. Oh, to look after dogs. Because it's hot, so it makes them sleepy. Yeah. Okay. And the number one on today's top six local spices

they could add in Australia to make up for Posh's absence, salt. It's the whitest spice, so it'll probably do quite well in Australia. Yeah. White, plain, very boring. Right up Australia's alley. That is today's top six. Flesh, Vaughan and plain, very boring. Right up Australia's alley. That is today's top six. Caitlin is a vegetarian now.

This is very important because we're about to talk about what a third of vegetarians do. So they've confessed in a recent survey that a third of them eat meat when they're drunk. 37% of that. Producer Caleb, I've been there when you've had a delicious burger. So I was vegetarian when I first started with you guys

and that's why I was real scared to start. Were you? Yeah, well I was too. I didn't want to tell anyone because... But our very first lunch we went to a steakhouse and you didn't say anything. You cried. I remember you crying as you ate that deliciously cooked medium rare porterhouse. Yeah, well, and then like a New Year's I got. She's like, that didn't happen.

Yeah. So then a New Year's I got drunk and ate fish, which was random. So then I was eating fish. I was vegetarian. I was a pescatarian. Who eats fish when they're drunk? I know. I think I want to have a delicious drink.

I might have a delicious fish. I think it was fish and chips at a festival. And then when we went to Cambodia, I got drunk and ate chicken because Fletch made me. And then there was another...

You had one drink. I don't think you were drunk. And you were very easy. I think I really wanted I basically said to Caitlin, oh, Caitlin, you've got to try this ginger chicken stir fry.

It's amazing. She's like, okay. And also, I love that you waited till we were in a third world country to eat chicken. I know, weird. Real roll of the dice there. And then we had some awards ceremony and Vaughn made me like a cute little cow. That is absolute horseshit. We were leaving and because Sade was there

and we were like, let's go and get, because we don't live in the city, we don't always get to eat like the delicious inner city burgers. Yeah. What's that place?

By your place. I think we went to Better Burgers. Better Burgers. Yeah, Better Burgers. Yeah, and I was like, oh, I'm getting a double cheese. Sade's like, double cheese,

loaded fries and Caitlin's like, um, yeah, I'll have one cheeseburger. We're like, ooh, damn. She came to eat and you ate and you loved it.

And I remember that time we went out to dinner and I was like, well, should we get the vegetarian dumplings? Because we were sharing. And Caitlin was like, oh, you just get pork too. That's all right. No, I never ate pork. I never, it would have been something else. You're not alone.

So now, but now I'm fully vegetarian, guys, and I will not. Is it because of your boyfriend? No. No, it's not. He's not discouraging it because he does some vegetarian days, doesn't he? He does, yeah. But he ate lamb in the weekend. And that's fine.

Is he allowed to kiss you on the mouth after he's eaten lamb? Or does he have to do a mouthwash? Oh, I'll make him start doing mouthwash. What are you doing, Vaughan? Vaughan's being yuck. I was being revolting. You were. You are.

If there was one thing that could turn you when you're drunk, like one treat, like meat-wise, what would it be? Yeah, so I love the taste of meat. I just don't like that we're killing animals for it. Yeah. They died. No. By our hands.

Yeah, exactly. So probably chicken nuggets, but that's like the worst. It's absolutely the worst. That's the absolute worst. Okay. But you can get meat free chicken nuggets now. Okay. So here's what I want to ask.

What is the one thing that you give into when you're drunk? And it doesn't have to be like if you're vegetarian or vegan. No, no, not at all. What if it was just like, I don't know, your ex? Or like... Oh, yeah. It's something you always say you're not going to do and then when you're drunk you're like...

Or maybe it is a food. You're being really good on this diet but you have a couple of drinks because you treat yourself and then that's when it all goes. According to this study, the thing that gets most vegetarians when they're boozed... Bacon. No.

Where are you going to get bacon from? You have to think of foods that are easy to get. Kezed. Bacon. No. Where are you going to get bacon from? You have to think of foods that are easy to get. Kebab. Yeah. Is it? That's a convenience thing. Is it because it's like,

it's not too far, you know, it's still packed with a lot of lettuce and tomato and... Yeah, you keep telling yourself that. See, I don't know what the justification is. Chicken or lamb, I can hardly taste the meat.

Is that a justification? I don't know. Yeah, leave out the tab I can hardly taste the meat Is that a justification? I don't know Leave out the tabbouleh mate I'm not a bloody rabbit Loaded up with more of the meat From the other big hangy thing That you slice the meat off That doesn't look like it's cooked

Okay so let's take some calls 0800 DARS at M9696 What do you give into when you're drunk? So maybe you're a vegetarian or a vegan And you've had a slip up Or maybe you just go for a treat when you're drunk and it's just you get drunk and that's it. And so we want to know what you give into when you're drunk.

A third of all vegetarians surveyed in a recent study say that they give into meat when they're drunk. So it doesn't have to be the vegetarian meat thing, but just something that when you're drunk, maybe you slip up. And we said it's kebabs, but someone said, I'm a vegetarian, you can get falafel kebabs everywhere, so that's no excuse. That's just being very naughty.

Falafel. Falafel. I don't like falafel. Falafel. Falafel. Oh, you say potato, I say falafel. Falafel. Falafel.

It's too dry. Very dry. You're eating a bad. It's too dry. Very dry. No, no. You're eating a bad one if it's dry. Always dry. It's got to be moist. Well, next time you're having a moist falafel, you tell me and I'll have a bite of yours. Yeah.

Because I've never had a falafel that I've liked. I'll make you a moist falafel. Well, we're going out on Thursday night. Should we get a drink of moist falafel? No, because it's not on... You don't want to. I'm not allowed. I just don't go out.

So when I go out, I'm not wasting a kebab on a floffle. Shelly, what are you given to when you're drunk? Online shopping. Oh, yeah.

So what, you come home at like one or two in the morning and you're like, oh, all right, let's do this. eBay. Yeah, and it's

normally stuff that like when I'm sober, I tell myself it's too expensive or, like, I know I don't need it, but I just, yeah. You put everything on your wish list and then you're like, you get home and you're like, oh, stop dreaming, Megan, make it happen, yes, yes, yes. You're like, dear sober Shelly,

I thought you really deserved this for being a great person and I'm drunk, Shelly. You're so great. So have you got anything that was like way too expensive or that you'd completely forgotten you've even ordered? I ordered a new phone when I didn't need it. A new phone. Oh my God, those aren't cheap, are they?

No. A thousand dollars later. Shelly, thanks for your call. Hannah, what are you given to when you're drunk? So I'm allergic to dairy and gluten. Oh, okay. So what happens? I just get, like, immense amounts of pain.

But are you, like, drunk and you're like, to the Uber or taxi, stop, I needed a yogurt. Oh, no, no. It's more like I'm at a 21st group event and that's the only option. What, milkshakes? No, but, like, some with cheese in it. Anything like spring rolls or deep fried

or like anything with pastry on it. And I'm like, they bring out pizza at quite a few. And that's dairy angling. And so you know it's bad but you're drunk so you're like, ah, I'll deal with it later. Oh yeah, I'll be hungover anyway so what's another bit of pain to add to that? Oh, that's not fun to hear.

Just add it to the pile of misery I'll be dealing with tomorrow. Brilliant. Hayden, thanks for your call. Some text messages. Somebody said when I'm drunk I always give into pies and I am not usually a pie eater. At all. I

online shop when intoxicated and I once bought a $14400 trampoline. I had prided myself. I've written prided, but that's not right, is it? I always pride myself. Prided? No, pride. You just say I always pride myself.

You say potato, I say prided. And floffle. So I prided myself on never having one night stands. When I was drunk, I gave in to a... What? I gave in. I gave in to an alluring gentleman. It was the start of a beautiful relationship with my now boyfriend.

So there you go. Never say never. He can come from anywhere, like the dark corner of a club or anything. Smokes. Lots of people saying smokes. Oh, yeah. They're doing really well, haven't smoked for ages, and then end up smoking.

Somebody said it happens to me every weekend. I say no more cougars. Every Saturday night I find myself right back in the den of the cougars. Yeah, it sounds like you like cougars. Yeah, it's totally okay. And that's fine. Don't be ashamed of what you do Monday to Friday. You enjoy Saturday of the cougars. Yeah, it sounds like you like cougars. Yeah, it's totally okay. And that's fine, yeah. Don't be ashamed of what you do

Monday to Friday. You enjoy Saturday the week round. Yeah. And somebody said karaoke. Oh, why are you saying no to karaoke? No, because you're like

having fun and everything and then you see a video and you're like, oh my God, I actually put these people through something. Yeah, oh my God, I'm not. I won't do that again.

And then the start of Sweet Child of Mine comes on and you're like, I'll do it. I'll'm not. I'll overdo that again and then the start a sweet show to mine comes on. You're like, I'll do it. I'll do it. I'll do it. Who's the bad friend that's videoing you? Yeah, one should never video. Yeah.

I'm the friend. It's like the friend at karaoke that if there's two microphones, they think they should be providing backup. It's like, stand down, Kelly Rowland. I'm Beyonce. Beyonce's got this absolutely sorted. I don't need backup.

Put it right down. We'll just wait for Vaughn to neutralise the room of odour. Haven't had a curry for a long time. And then last night, Shade said, I feel like a curry. And I was like, you know, I'm always on board for a curry. Sorry, guys. We've got guests coming in. Great curry in the new spot.

Very soon, Brie and Matt Chisholm in. Great curry in the new spot. Very soon, Brie and Matt Chisholm coming in to talk about the new Celebrity Treasure Island, which is coming to TVNZ too, and you're dropping your guts. Are they going to have, like, the list of celebrities? Why don't they announce those? They might have an inkling. They might have a little inside word. Maybe we can get an exclusive, exclusive,

exclusive, exclusive. Yeah. So, this Sunday is a very special day. It's not. It is. It really isn't. It's Fletch's birthday. It's under the radar, just another day birthday.

The 23rd of June, 40 years ago. No! We don't say the age, Megan. 28 years ago. Thank you. I mean, 28 years ago, he turned 12. That was real good maths from you. Yeah, on the fly.

As long as it's under 50, I'm pretty quick at it. And even numbers. Yes. Love an even number. Love an even number. Yeah, good. So before that momentous occasion, we've got a little. I don't like not knowing what's going on in the show. He just said, we've got a little, and you're like, I don't like. I don't like not knowing what's going on in the show.

He just said, we've got a little, and you're like, I don't like. I don't like any of them. At all. It's just little. It's easy. You'll hardly notice it happening. Which is not true. But we've got to look at a little spiritual bucket list.

Four. Before. 40. It really echoes that, doesn't it? Yeah. Wow. 40. It really echoes that, doesn't it? Yeah, wow, okay. Let's beat that. Let's beat that out.

We don't need to be reminded. You should be proud that you look so youthful. Yeah, you have aged for as long as I've known you.

In fact, you're actually like, there's a little George Clooney quality. You're getting better with age. I like these

compliments. This is good. Okay, that's enough. No more compliments. I don't get these compliments on my birthday. Well, that's true. That's a fair point, Your Honour. Two compliments and we're done.

The accusation stands. But we've got four areas of your life that we've identified as somewhat lacking. You're very well travelled. Very well travelled. Thank you. that we've identified as somewhat lacking. Right. You're very well-travelled. Very well-travelled. Thank you. And you... You've got around. You've got...

Thank you. Yeah, you've really got around. But back to the travel. You've seen things. You've done things. Okay, I will get back to the travel in a minute. But the usual stuff people have on their bucket list... Yeah.

You've nailed it. Yeah. Yeah. You've nailed it. Yeah. Okay. You've seen that thing, haven't you? Chernobyl. Christ the Redeemer. You've been to Chernobyl. You went on that weird train in the middle of the mountains.

What was that? I mean, you've done things that I don't even know exist. I've been on a train in a mountain. There's trains in mountains everywhere. No, you know that. Or he's taken the Transalpine. Or was it a roller coaster or something? Through a mountain.

I don't know. See, I get lost in your gram. Okay. Have you seen the Aztec pyramids in Mexico? Yes. See, you've seen some of them. The Statue of Liberty? Yeah.

You've seen so much. So we're taking a slightly different... God, he's seen it all. We're taking a slightly different approach. Okay. We've got four areas that we think you need to fill a bucket. Right. One.

Okay. Relationships. Okay. Two. Strangers. Oh, but I don't like talking to strangers. Why? Three.

Children. Had to talk to the lady at Countdown the other day because there was an unexpected item in the bagging thing. An employee. Those should just be smart enough to sense there's something in the bagging area. Okay, this is a different flitch segment.

Three, children. And four, actual work. It's true, we don't have an actual job. I've never had an actual job. These are the four areas that we're going to be dealing with before your birthday on Sunday. Right. Relationships, strangers, children, and hard work.

Okay. Yeah. Might change hard work to actual work. Actual work. Yeah, actual work. Actual work. Because our job's not real. It's just talking, isn't it?

It's a fun job. Yeah. It's a fun job. But hard? Oh, man. Oh, it's hard. Oh, yeah. You've. It's just talking, isn't it? It's a fun job. Yeah. It's a fun job. But hard? Oh, man. Oh, it's hard. Oh, yeah. You've got a sore back there, haven't you?

I was thinking the office. Oh, yeah. Man. Really hard. How's your brain? So fired. Yeah. So, whoa.

Constant thinking. Yeah. I'm always thinking. Can you turn that thing off? No. So, I'm going to actually have to do some hard work by the sounds of it. Yes. I don't like that.

Yes. I thought birthdays were about presents. I don't like that. Yes. I thought birthdays were about presents. This is a spiritual present. Yes. It's an enrichening of one's soul. You might learn something about yourself, about others. We might have to go to one of those yoni yoga things where you have to do naked yoga and lie on other people.

You do enough naked yoga lying on other people, mate. We don't need to. Yeah, but I used to hold bits of bones. There was some great reverse psychology as well. God, I'd hate to have to get naked on people. You know how I hate being naked with other naked people. You know when they go away for those retreats and they don't talk or have bones for the whole weekend?

What are those about? As long as there's none of that carry on. No, no, there's none of that carry on. We're not going to torture you. What a great podcast so far, wouldn't you agree, Fletch? Yes. And it's all thanks to Spark. Get one gig of bonus data with the Spark U25 pack.

Now, back to the podcast. We have two special guests in studio, Brie Thomasel and Matt Chisholm. Good morning. Good morning. Hi, guys. Celebrity Treasure Island TVNZ. Nice to be here. Yeah, I don't know about special. I know, I was like, I feel weird calling you a special guest.

It's just Brie. Yeah, it's just me guys. Not a big deal. So this is exciting. You would obviously have done a bit of research now as to what it was back in the day, but you wouldn't have seen or even know some of the celebrities from back in the day, right? Don't assume, Fletch. I was a big fan. Who's Brent Todd? Oh, you'd probably know Brent Todd. He was on it.

Lana Cockcroft? Who's Lana Cockcroft? Yes, I've seen quite a bit of the show. And, look, the hairstyles back in the day, it's been a while since the show's been on, hasn't it? Celebrity Treasure Island. But I have noticed that there's been a lot of fans who used to love the show who are coming out of the woodwork.

Oh, yeah. Oh, I used to love the show so much because, like, you watch celebrities, like, out of their comfort zone. Pretty much, like, no make-up, like, looking like a mess. That's what we all want to see, isn't it? So what were your memories, Matt, of Celebrity Treasure Island back in the day?

Mate, I can't remember what happened last week, to be honest. So going back a decade, I remember something happened to Lana, didn't it? Yeah, she stood on coral. Was that a small Cinderella? Yeah, and then they amputated her foot. No. So she's only got one foot. Shut up, Fletch.

And that was massive, wasn't it? Yeah, it made her really sick. But then they got it back on. Right, so did she come back on the show and she kept fighting? She's fine. She found that treasure and I mean, boy. She was amazing in the challenges with one leg. We saw Simon Barnett's nipples were a big thing.

We've seen a lot of his nipples actually. Christian broadcasted nipples on television. When they asked me to be on the show, I was kind of like, okay, well, nah, probably not. And then they showed me who the celebrities are that are going to be on the show. And I thought, sign me up. Oh, you have got us down, haven't you? Who are they?

Who are the celebrities? We're not finding out until tomorrow. What I can tell you is that in 1990, my favourite sports person was me. And when I saw that he was on it, I just about lost it. Wow. I can't say that, can I? A 90s sports star.

Yeah. What kind of sports do you like to watch? Oh, here we go. She's fishing that hook out. That's not bad. You're good at your job, aren't you? No, she's just not. Well, I watched a lot of footy back in the day. Oh, okay.

And I love my sailing. She's big on sailing. Let's see what's happening here. Yeah, no, he loves it. And he also loves the shuttlecock. Loves a bit of badminton. Oh, okay. Love the cock.

Yeah. The shuttle. Love the shuttle. The shuttle. I love the shuttle. No's some really um really good celebrities on there and i just thought you know great opportunity to get in that range on tinder with those celebrities so that's why i'm over there that's the only reason you're there is to hope that there's no one else on this island yes in the radius of five kilometers yeah and you And you're in. Well, I narrow it down, Fletch. You know how it works.

You're very good at it. You actually taught me. And I have the opportunity then to, you know, get some swipe rights. So are there without, because we can't announce the celebrities, but are there any single celebrities? Like, do you think this could be? That is such a good question. I can answer that.

I've done the research and there is. Okay. Because they're not going to cast a lot of happily married celebrities, are they? I mean, some. Well, yeah, that would be a bit of drama if they hooked up. Well, no, you don't just go there to hook up.

I'm thinking of Long Island. That's exactly why you go there, I think. Isn't it? Well, yeah, and you also have the opportunity to win money. Right, and so it's two teams and they're against each other and there's a charity angle as well. Definitely.

Don't ask too many specifics on the anything really. I'm so sorry. I thought as the host you might just know about the show, but it's okay. I won't push. Let's just say we've got a big week

of learning ahead of us. Ask me about if there's any hot celebrities. I know that. Are there any hot celebrities? 100%. Okay, good. So when do we actually find out celebs? So I believe the first couple of celebs are actually being announced on your show tomorrow morning.

We'll do our research. Let's all go away today and do our research. I'm learning too, Matt. I like the surprise when you learn as you go. We'll do our research. Let's all go away today and do our research. I'm learning too, Matt. I find it easier. So good. I like the surprise when you learn as you go. Yeah. It's a lot better.

This is what the show is going to be like. It's going to be loose and frenetic, I think. To be honest, I'm going to drag Matt down with me. It's going to be an absolute loose time. It's started already. When are we going to see this? Have you filmed it yet? No.

No? Have we? Well, I don't know. Have you been to an island in the last three months? No. No? Have we? Well, I don't know. Have you been to an island in the last three months? I did say I couldn't remember what happened last week, so we might have. I haven't seen you suspiciously absent from work and then come back with a tan.

No, I'm very, very untanned. You'll know when I'm walking around with a tan. We're getting our spray tans this afternoon, aren't we? Yeah. Did you bring your paper g-string? Yeah. I always carry mine around in my pocket. I've got an extra in case you didn't.

Good. Now, do the celebrities stay on... We could just wear one, couldn't we? We do like to share. Do they stay on the island or do they get a luxury yacht moored off the island? Because that's what I always wondered when I saw Celebrity Treasure Island. You know, you saw it growing up and you were like, they're staying in a hotel. They're lying.

Not if I have anything to do with it. No. I don't even think we're staying in a hotel, are we? Pardon me? That's a bit rough. I'd definitely be demanding a boat moored offshore. Yeah, well, that's you, Fletch. We all know you.

I'm a princess. What, you demand? Yeah. You're not wrong. To be honest, I'm super excited for it because I was such a big fan of these shows back in the day, and it's going to be a great family show, but there's also going to be a lot of banter. And, I mean, who doesn't want to see, like you said, Megan, celebrities.

At their worst. At their worst, just sweating it out in the jungle. Mud wrestling. Yeah. It's going to be a bit of that. And their paper undies. I remember one old episode, there was explosives in a treasure chest. That's right. I think they blew the budget on the pyrotechnics, that one. Yeah, there was explosives in a treasure chest. That's right.

I think they blew the budget on the pyrotechnics, that one. Yeah, that was epic. Looking back, it was quite budget, yeah. But I remember thinking, wow, they've really stepped it up this season. Yeah. So looking forward to it, Celebrity Treasure Island. Bree and Matt, thank you so much for coming in.

Appreciate it. And we'll announce a couple of celebs tomorrow. Flesh, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. ZM. Well, that's the end of our work day for Vaughan Smith. Yeah, I'm taking an early leave of absence. Unbelievable. How leisurely for Monday. How leisurely.

Two hours of work. The world's kind of water was in the rain. Fantastic. Two hours of work today. So you are about to, you're going to drive home after this break. Yes. To take August to school, her first day at school. I'm pretty sure we just walked to school

on our first day, didn't we? Did you? I don't know. I don't remember. I don't remember, no. See, that's the thing. They won't remember. This is why I'm saying

you're just wasting your time. Actually, there's video. There's a family video of my brother just walking down the driveway to catch the bus. Yeah, right. And it was like, see you, mate. And it was like, see ya mate.

And it was like, say see ya to your brother. And I'm like, I don't want him to go. How times have changed. You can't wait to see the arse end of him now whenever I see him. But, I don't want him to go. And then my sister bursts into tears. We're all really sad that he gets to go to school. But Ian and Christine went rough as guts thinking back on it.

Catch the bus. Who with? Strangers. Where with? Strangers. Where to? More strangers. Yeah. To learn. But Ian and Christine weren't crying their eyes out outside the school gates? Nah.

Nah. Nah. I don't know how I'll go because, yeah. Or Indy, because I took the day off when Indy had her first day at school too, and I was quite like, she was upset. So then I couldn't get upset. Right. I had to be. Oh, okay.

I thought you'd get upset if you see them upset. No, it's more like, you've got to be the strong one and you've got to sort it out. But I just know August is going to turn around, walk in and look back

and that'll be me. Or she's not going to look back and just pull the fingers. Just see ya. See ya, losers. But then you had a cry in the car on Indy's drop off, didn't you? When I got back, yeah, when I got home, I was a bit like, it's all go. But now I've got like two school-aged kids, so that's like double.

You're getting old. I know. This is your baby. I know, the baby's all grown up. So five at the weekend? Yeah, yeah, we had a party. She wanted a Greatest Showman birthday cake. With a bearded lady?

Well, that was the main person she wanted on there. We're like, who do you want on? You want the Hugh Jackman and stuff or the Zendaya character with the pink hair? And she's like, bearded lady. That's my one requirement on this cake is it needs to have the bearded lady. The bearded lady is her hero in the Greatest Showman. So she had that. She let everybody know it was time to sing her happy birthday.

She stood up and said, attention, attention. And then she went, one, two, three, and indicated to the crowd it was time to start singing happy birthday. I thought she was your child. She also made an announcement that it was present time and everyone needed to gather around to watch her open her gifts. See, I'm not worried about this one at school. I think she's going to be fine.

Yeah, she'll be fine. She's going to be fine. She'll be absolutely fine. But, you know, it's, hmm. Are you all right? Got pretty booze at the weekend by myself on Saturday night. Yeah, right. I'm just dealing with that sort of whole situation.

So, yeah. Well, good luck today. Yeah, thank you. I'll be the dad running back down the driveway being like, don't look at me. I'm not crying. It's my allergy. Fleshfauna Megan, the podcast.

ZM. Well, there is a new fashion trend. Actually, no, guys won't be wearing these. I was like, is this a guy and a girl thing? But females specifically are moving away from G's, G strings. Yep. And are embracing granny undies. I don't like saying the P word.

Yeah, no. Granny undies. So this is Rihanna's Savage V Fenty. I don't know how you say it. Savage Fenty range. She's got some granny undies out. You just said it. It's weird.

Lonely. Our very own Lonely. They do like granny undies. Like we're talking higher waisted, full of brief. So they're a brief. They go higher. Yeah. Yeah.

They're covering everything. Bridget Jones undies we're talking. So millennials and Gen Zers. Because you just give up when you get like granny age. You're just like, I'm not spending money on like some nice. No, that's not that at all. Because like lonely undies are like lacy and beautiful and not like cheap, but they're worth it. But some of the ones I'm seeing online are like, they look pretty plain.

Yeah, but all those are like, some of them are spanked. Some of them are double, like, holding in time. Right. But, like, Millennials and Gen Zers are just like, okay, these are comfy. Let's just, like, hit them, hit the granny undies. So, if they're comfortable and they're cool now, you can go there. Yeah. They're high-waisted.

And that's when we turn to our usually granny undie wearer. I only say that because you've often spoken about your Bridget Jones undies. I'm more than happy to speak about them. And I'm very sad that I have thrown them all out. So you were trendsetting, you would say. Because you got a boyfriend. I don't know if you know, but producer Caitlin has a boyfriend now. And you threw them out.

Well, I didn't want him to see them because he sometimes stays at my house. So you actually did throw them out because of... I know. How many pairs? Like six. So what, did you go and buy new ones? Yeah, well, so this is the thing because now I wear G-Bangers. I would like it noted that I've...

You've gone the other way around. I know. I was always an advocate for G-Bangers and I would like it noted. You've gone the other way around. I know. I was always an advocate for G-Bangers and everyone ridiculed me and now you're on board and I've gone the other way. I'm moving into Granny Undie Zone. Because I'm just like,

there's company. So, okay. So, I actually bought, it's kind of like Granny Undies because it like sucks you in. You know, like those, it holds you in. Like Spanx. Spanx, yeah. But it's a G-Banger as well. I've seen these. It's kind of like granny undies because it sucks you in. It holds you in because we're banks.

Spanks? Yeah. But it's a G-banger as well. I've seen these. It's a hybrid. It's like a granny undie had relations with a G-string. Yeah. And their baby.

It holds in your tummy and also doesn't give you. Give you a panty line. Yeah. Huh. Okay. I can imagine they were in the lab and they invented that and they were like, oh my God. When I wear them. This is brilliant. I was like, I can imagine they were in the lab and they invented that and they were like, oh my God.

When I wear them, this is brilliant. I'll show them. I'll show you them so that you can see what they look like. No, you don't have to do that. You obviously don't have to do that.

It's fine. Okay, so this is what I want to talk about. You get into a relationship and you throw them out. Yeah. Or people get into a relationship and they're like,

well, I've got to change. I've got to get rid of something. Because either you can't have them knowing or the partner kind of pressures you. Because I know a girl that started seeing a guy and she, when he was at work, she burned all of his satin boxes. This is a few years ago.

Oh, satin boxes. Because people aren't doing those. James, you're not satin boxes, are you? You just gave me that look like you've got them. No, but I can sort of I wore them once. We all wore them once. We all wore them once.

That's the thing. You naturally grow out of it. But, you know, if But now, that's a no-go, eh? No. No, you don't go near those now. Like if you were single, Caitlin, and you took a guy home

and he had some Tasmanian devil boxes of yours to see and send him See ya. Yeah. So he was at work and she burnt them all. And she's like, you are not doing sand boxes anymore.

I had to hide all my self-help books from him. Yeah, but now he knows that you're a problem, eh? Yeah, and he's like, it's okay. What about you, James? Did you actually get rid of anything? When you got in a relationship? I don't think I personally had to get rid of it myself. It was more like

she would subtly get rid of it for me. Right. So I think we might have been changing the sheets or something on the bed. And my duvet, it was black and it had these silver swirls on it. I think I got it off one day for a deal or something. And she picks it up.

She's like, we can probably get rid of this, eh? And I was like, oh, like, do you mean like wash it and like put it back? And she's like, no, we could just like get rid of it and get a new one. I was like, oh, if you want to, I guess. So it's not like I got rid of it myself. She just sort of makes all these little suggestions. And then before I know it, it's not like I got rid of it myself. She just sort of makes all these little suggestions and then before I know it, it's gone when I get back. And before you know it, everything's

her way. Exactly. Not even my duvet, nothing. So I want to take some calls. What did you throw out when you got a partner or what did you make your partner throw out when you got together? Yeah. 0800 Niles at M 9696 and maybe it was clothing.

Maybe it was a duvet. But I think it's always for the best. Yeah. Sometimes it is. Mostly it is. Alright, give us a call. We want you to give us a call. 0800 Niles at M. You can text as well 9696 and tell us what you threw out when you got a partner or what a partner

made you throw out. It turns out that granny underwear is back in fash right at the moment where producer Caitlin gets into a relationship and throws all of hers out. She's got into G-Bangers instead. Yeah. So there's some text messages in. Sheets and a duvet in it and cover.

I threw them out. My boyfriend had them. I hadn't seen sheets like that since the 70s show. That 70s show. They're probably ones that like his mum gave him or something. And he just like literally always had them. And they're so thin. They probably were from the 70s.

They're so thin because they've been washed a thousand times. Yeah. Yuck. I made my boyfriend get rid of those t-shirts that have funny things written on them. Example, I'm with stupid or FBI. The man. The man. The legend. With an arrow pointing to their genitals. Yeah, those are gone now. things written on them. Example, I'm with stupid or FBI. The man, the legend,

with an arrow pointing to their genitals. Yeah, those are gone now. We'll take some calls. Sarah, what did you make your boyfriend throw out? Or your partner? My husband has Barker's track pants. Oh no! Those are spinnies though! The ones with the writing down the

side, like teenage boy kind of things. Yeah, were they original, like, way back ones or the new? Because they did, they reissued them, didn't they? Yeah, just recently. They kind of did a comeback recently. But what about, like, your comfy on-the-couch pants? It's winter comfy pants. What does he wear now?

He's got some Bond ones now. Oh, okay. So you've just modernised him. You just gave him an upgrade. Alright, thanks for your call, Sarah. That's what relationships are about, isn't it? Yeah, compromise. Or just wearing what she tells you. Yeah.

My partner used to have a bunch of singlets. I threw them all out because they had holes in them. He complained he wore them to work because they had good ventilation. Right, okay. I threw out all my had holes in them. He complained he wore them to work because they had good ventilation. Right, okay. I threw out all my partner's skate shoes. He complained and had to wear gumboats for a week to work. He said nothing else.

Oh. I was, and I always remember being in a store in Sydney, and it was like clothing and shoes, and this woman just absolutely going her boyfriend. She's like, Daryl, you are too old to be wearing skate shoes. You've got to go for something more like this. And she was probably right, to be honest. Yeah, that's what I was going to say. She's not

wrong, though, is she? But he was so upset and sad. He was like, oh. My girlfriend, now wife, made me throw out the duvet cover that was on my bed when I lost my V-plates. There was nothing wrong with the duvet cover. She just didn't like the fact that it was there and it had that memory attached to it.

Dani, what did you make your boyfriend throw out? I made him throw out, oh, but when I met him, he used to have triangle undies. The Y-fronts. What's that, sorry? Like Y-front undies. Yeah. Yeah.

Those are so childish. I have to chuck those out. Yeah, I kind of, I like boxer briefs, like the tight fitting. But the Y-fronts is weird, eh? Well, it depends who's wearing them. Yeah, and then I introduced him to, you know, your alpha boy leg trunks and he's never gone back to them. Yeah. That's the thing.

A gentle introduction to something else is just as good as throwing something out. Oh, absolutely. I don't think one was very gentle, though. I think it might have been like, um, those are not okay. Did you buy him new ones or make him buy them? Um, I can't remember how that went down, but I'm pretty sure I planted the seed in his head and, you know, the next week he got the new ones and I was like, oh, those are sexy.

Brilliant. Hey, Danny, thanks for your call. Matt, what did your wife make you throw out? So she made me throw, well, actually sell my car to pay for our wedding. Oh, how did that go down? It was all right because I was only 19 at the time. So I said, that's fine. I held that card in one hand and I said,

some stage I'm going to buy a nice car. So I traded that $9,000 car for a $70,000 car 15 years later. Brilliant. Wow. Wow. You played those $70,000 car 15 years later. Brilliant. Wow. Wow. You played those cars well, Matt. Yeah, exactly. Matt, thanks for your call.

Someone said on the text machine, oh my God, shoeboxes. My boyfriend used to keep them but not put any shoes in them. So he just had like a bunch of shoeboxes. Oh, people do this. People that collect like nice shoes, like, you, like Nike and Adidas shoe collectors. But they leave them in the box, don't they? I can understand leaving them in the box, but then why wear them and keep the box?

Once you've worn them, just chuck the box, right? Yeah. I gave away my freedom and my own ideas. I got rid of my Google history. That's sad. Yeah, okay. I've been trying to get my fiancé out of jandals for years. He wears them all the time, even when it's absolutely freezing.

He's a doctor too, so you'd think he would know better. But he still wears them. Oh, jandals? No, you can't. That's treason. That's kind of Kiwi, isn't it? That's treason. Yeah, you can't say that.

Yeah. A gentle nudge in the right direction. Do you know what? Amazingly, I think most of them are females getting rid of males things. But I still maintain most of the time it's for the best. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. So Vaughn has left me this joke.

I mean, not joke. It's a fact. Yeah. But I don't really understand it. It probably would have been one of those ones and I'm like, oh, that's lame. And I guess it would have been close to his heart because it involves baldness.

Okay. All right. Well, just give it to us. Okay. Why don't you understand it? He's just sent me the Wikipedia page. Oh, right. Okay. All right. Well, just give it to us. Okay. Why don't you understand it? Just send me the Wikipedia page. All right. Okay.

So, bald hairy, bald dash hairy. Yeah. Is a common joke in Russia. I'm referring to the empirical rule of the state leaders succession. They are either bald, balding or hairy. I'm so confused. I'm so confused. So it goes,

I think what it means is there's a pattern over the leadership of Russia where it goes bald to hairy. Bald and hairy, I'm on the Wikipedia. So it goes bald to hairy, bald hairy, right? So from 1825, Nicholas I to 1855, he was balding. Had a very receding hairline.

Lovely moustache. Alexander II. Hair. Alexander III. Balding. Nicholas II. Oh, good hair, good hair. And then bald, hairy.

Georgie Lovlov. Yeah, right. Okay, and then right down. So what are the latest ones? So Vladimir Putin would be? Balding. Balding. And then before him was a guy called Dmitry.

And then Vladimir was before him. And then Boris Yeltsin, good hair. Mikhail Gorbachev, who was in, you'll see, represented in Chernobyl. Chernobyl. Yeah, with the birthmark on his head, balding. That's right. Wow, okay, so that's right. Yeah.

So at the moment, we've got here Jacinda, and before that, John Key. Did you say balding? Did you say balding? I don't know if you can cast that aspersion on him. And then before that? John Key. Who was before John Key? I don't remember, I was too young. Was it Helen?

Who was before John Key? No, Bill English. Oh, that's right. For a little bit. Right. Well, there we go. I mean, I didn't pick it. We got there though, didn't we? We got there. That's interesting. I mean, it happened by complete accident too,

hasn't it? Yeah, it has. Cool. Trustborn to give me a political one to deal with. Yeah, yeah. So over the Russian, what do you call them, rulers, there is a pattern that has literally had their rulers going from bald to hairy to bald to hairy, or bald and full hair to hair.

Since 1825. Fact of the day, day. Yeah, there you go. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. The dating website eHarmony, they've gone through eight years of data. The people in this survey were 18 to 34 to find out what people wanted in a partner. So the must-haves and the can't-stands.

So there is a top 10 must-haves. Producer Caitlin, do you have any can't-stands on your list yet? Because you're in the honeymoon period of your relationship. Remember you used to have a huge list. Oh, yeah. So I had the biggest list of requirements. You would say they were kind of deal breakers.

And I threw them all out the window for my boyfriend. What does that say? Does he match, like, does he meet any of them? Oh, yeah, definitely like all the values and stuff, but not the... Not the can't be any more than four months older or younger, taller. He's not taller. Yeah, no, so... You threw all that out there, and look at you, you're all happy now.

I know. And then, maybe. Goes to show... Don't be picky. Exactly. I think is what we said all along. So shall I go through the must haves first? Okay.

Should we do? Yeah, okay. So these are their sentences, their descriptions, but they kind of break down to something more simple. But that's a lot of data over all these dating profiles over all these years. Eight years. Yeah. Ten, can I handle life's frustrations or momentary setbacks with a patient's steady demeanour? Not me.

Not me at all. Nine, honest and strong enough to do the right thing. Eight, willing to explore sexual desires with passion and understanding. So someone who is willing to open up in the bedroom. Yeah. Shall we say. Seven, so we're doing the top ten must-haves, qualities in a partner. Seven, emotionally healthy

and able to share a stable life with someone else. Six, gentle and kind. Right in the middle. Five, good at talking and listening. So good listener. Yeah. So the top four must-haves in a partner. Four, I must feel deeply in love with

and attracted to my partner. I take that as hot. Yeah. Good looking. You must be attracted to my partner. I take that as hot. Yeah. Good looking. You must be attracted to your partner. Well, if you're not attracted to them. Attractive to you. Hot to you.

It's not going to work, is it? Three. Someone I can count on to always support me. Supportive partner. Number two. Comfortable at giving and receiving affection. So affectionate is the second most important must-have in a partner. And number one...

Money. They must be rich. Is it money? They must be rich? 77% of people said this is the number one. Okay, what is it? And it will always make someone go up in a couple of...

What if they have big spoons? Big spoon or little spoon? They like spooning on the couch? You've got to alternate spoons. Eh, do you? You just want to be little spoon all, spoon, spoon all the time. No, I'm big, big, spoon, spoon. No.

I'm big, spoon, spoon. What are you, Kate? I think you're big or little because your boyfriend's shorter than you. Yeah, only just. We share. Yeah, you've got to share it up. Because sometimes I do big spoon. Boys need to be cuddled too.

Yeah. So number one is sharp and can enjoy the humorous side of life. So funny. So not taking yourself. Good sense of humor humorous side of life. So funny. So not taking yourself too seriously. Humour and like, you don't necessarily have to be like a comedian, but like if you're humorous and you find humour in things, it'll always take someone up a couple of notches. We have, my boyfriend and I have had this discussion

and we've come to the conclusion that I'm the funnier one. Did he say that? No, he thinks that he's funnier, but we all know that I am the funnier one. I don't know. No, like he has his moments, but I'm constantly funny. I'm constantly funny. Okay, shall I run you real quick through the can't stands? These are the 10 things

people do not like or want in a partner. 10, someone who is intolerant of others, Fletch. 9, likes to spend

excessive time sleeping, so is a couch potato. Number 8, can't manage their anger or bottles it up inside, Fletch. 7, Oh look,

I'm just going to tell you how I feel, okay? I'm not going to hold it in. Uses illegal recreational drugs. Has a devious nature and is mean to others. Fletch. Engages in sex outside a committed relationship. Isn't clean.

Oh, no, you're pretty clean. You're very clean. I should have showered twice a day. Very clean. Someone who is belittling, impatient, or hateful to people in any situation. That is not me. This list is written about you. Shut up, Caitlin.

Why did I just do that thing on the list? Number two, takes advantage of people. And number one, lies to anyone, especially me. Oh, your lies are the worst, eh? You lie all the time. Doing big yarns. But we're not in relationships with you. I mean, we're in a friend relationship And you still lie to us

But that's okay When do I lie to you? You lied You asked me about going to Sydney that time Remember? Yeah but I just don't tell you That's not lying The absence of truth is still a lie

That's not lying I didn't say I'm going somewhere this weekend And it wasn't that place I just didn't tell you what I was doing The absence of truth is still a lie That's not a lie Yes it is That's just not telling

you something. That's okay. We already knew this about you. Flesh, Vaughan and Megan. The Podcast. ZM. Prepare to be grossed out. Okay. So there is something we should be doing once a week, but I don't, I'm willing to admit, not once a week. Okay. And I don't think you do.

How often do you wash your sheets? Don't judge me. Every weekend. Do you actually? I change every, because you know I often do you wash your sheets? Don't judge me. Every weekend. Do you actually? I change every, because you know, I've got a couple of sheets, sets of lovely Sheridans that you know that I've got on special.

Yeah, I rotate my Sheridans. I want to actually know, because I've got one set that's not Sheridans. And you've got a dryer. Like, I don't have a dryer. No, but I don't use the dryer that much. I like to hang them out. So apparently you need to wash them every week.

And if you, there's a couple of exceptions. So if you sleep nude, if you are ever sick. I'm a nude sleeper. You are. Did you want that mental image? I didn't have one, but now I do. Thank you. You're welcome.

If you go to bed without showering after a workout, ooh, who does that? I will only go to bed after a shower after a workout? Ooh, who does that? Who does that? I don't know. I will only go to bed after a shower. Yeah, I shower. I'll have a shower, watch a couple of hours of TV and then I'm in bed. That's fine. But yeah, if you've been, even if you go out and you've had a shower, always have a shower when you get home. Yeah, me too. So yeah, if you do any of those things or if you're

outside for a long time and then go to bed, you need to wash your sheets more than once a week. Looking at you, Fletch, because you sleep nude. How many times have you meant to change your sheets? Twice a week. Oh, no, once is fair enough. So I probably do it a fortnight.

You probably, but there'll be times, what, when you do it? No, but like. That's disgusting. I only have one set of flannel sheets. That's the problem. And if I. And you don't have a dryer? I don't have a dryer.

Oh, yeah, what do you do? Yeah, well, you've got to time it and get it, like, washed real early in the morning so it can stand out all day. And then you're like mum when you go out, God, I hope it doesn't rain. Oh, God, I hope it doesn't rain. Producer Kate, let's go to the producers. How often are you changing the sheets?

Megan, can I, well, because I'm doing it once a week as well, but that's just me. But you've got two people in your bed Megan Oh yeah, that's a good point And Caitlin's having a lot of sleepovers with the boys Probably actually a good reason to change them every week Okay, Fletch Producer James, you've got rid of the duvet Throwback to earlier in the show

No, I'm on the same page as Megan I just don't have bloody time I know, we need to wash sheets You need to have more than one set of sheets You do, I'm with Caitlin No page as Megan. I just don't have bloody time. I know. We need to wash sheets. You need to have more than one set of sheets. Yeah, you do. I'm with Caitlin. No, I do in summer. And in summer all the time because, like, you've got those thin ones.

They dry in the sun. It's all G. In winter. Use the money you spent on the last thing you went online shopping and get a second set of winter sheets. That's bloody shade, James. No, I'm with Megan. And I live in an old, very cold flat.

So I'm like Megan that I have to get up really early in the morning and put them outside and hope it doesn't rain for them to dry. And it's a lot of admin and I'm not up in the morning and the weekends. Can't you just do one sheet at a time, like a minute in the microwave on high? I wish you could. Does that work? I don't know. Oh, my God.

Well, the reason, do you want me to tell you why? You should wash them once a week. This is going to gross you out, James. There are five million cells that we shed daily. That accumulates with perspiration, pollen, pet dander, fungus, mold, and we snuggle up to that at night. Yeah, are you hearing this, James? It's oil, sweat, dirt, mold, and we snuggle up to that at night. Yeah, are you hearing this, James? So it accumulates oil, sweat, dirt, makeup,

and there can be, like, all kinds of bacteria living in there that you're putting your face up against. It's just a little Petri dish. And then, like, but they do say you shouldn't make your bed because if you leave your bed open, it tears it all out. I got into the habit of making my beard in the morning. But then you're tucking all the germs in all day to stay nice and snug and multiply. But then you come home and you've got a messy beard.

Yeah. Megan, how often do you wash your pyjamas? Often. I've got lots of jammies. Okay. Because do you wear undies? No. This is getting personal.

You don't wear undies and pyjamas. You don't want the seam. The seam will be in your bits. No, you always wear it. Because remember, if you don't wear undies, you wet the beads. Is that what it's called on the inside, the seam? You know where they sew it over and then they overlocker it? That bit there, it sticks up very rigid.

It'll be rubbing up against your bits. You just get nubs in your sleep. You get nubs, pyj be rubbing up against your bits. You'll get chafing. You just get nubs in your sleep. You get nubs. Pajama nubs in your bits. Megan's saying she doesn't wear undies. Yeah, because you get nubs. No, you get nubs from the pajamas. No, you get nubs when

you roll around. Your undies go up your bum. Your jammies don't go up your bum. Oh, you shouldn't be wearing pajamas without undies. Yeah, that's what I Okay. You sleep naked. Yeah,jamas without undies. Yeah, that's what I... Okay! You sleep naked! Yeah, I don't have pyjamas. Yeah, you need to wash your sheets a bit more. Let's make a pair of sheets.

ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. If you enjoyed this podcast, why not give ZM's Bree and Clint a listen too? Subscribe on the iHeartRadio app or wherever you get your podcasts. Head music lives here. ZM.