ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Megan Podcast - June 20 2019

Episode Date: June 19, 2019

Vaughan can't get a screw out and what was the most romantic thing you did at school?See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

ZM. Head music lives here. Fletch Warner Megan, the podcast. Thanks Ash, good morning. Welcome to the show. Fletch Warner Megan, the Black Caps taking on South Africa in the Cricket World Cup. Currently needing 59 from 57. 59 from 57. Oh, okay, that's got to weigh on them. 183 for 5 at the moment, the Black Caps.

Who have we got at the crease? Williamson. Yep. Setter of the ship, Williamson. Setter of the ship. DeGromholm. Yep. Who sounds far more like a Formula One racer than a cricket player.

DeGromholm. DeGromholm. DeGromholm. You can imagine it. Yeah, you're right. For Formula One. Another stunning victory for DeGromholm. DeGrom...

What? DeGromholm. DeGromholm at Monaco. Yeah. For Red Bull Racing at Monaco. Yeah. For Red Bull Racing. You can imagine that. Also, a special day today. Megan's gracing us with no makeup.

Did you say gracing or grossing? Yeah, I wasn't sure. I thought you said grossing. Which one do you want it to be? I think gracing. Yeah. Because we're hearing things. I said gracing.

I was like, I'm not wearing any makeup. Lex was like, yeah, I know. I wasn't going to say anything. but you can see that on your face. And it's my, like, what do they call them? Sunspot or something. I think this would be the second time in my life I've seen you with no makeup. No, you've got some makeup on. I've got mascara on.

Is that all? And lipstick. And lipstick. Because it made me feel better. I picked Megan up on the way to work today. I didn't even notice. It was very dark. It was dark. It was very dark. It was very dark.

It's good that you... I'm glad, you know, when you're driving in the motorway at night time and you go under a light and it briefly flashes, lights up. I'm glad I didn't look across at that very moment. I would have been like, Jesus! I almost actually fell off my chair

being a little bit silly and dramatic then. Producer Caitlin has just taped up the wire that was sticking up from under the desk. Yeah. That just gave Vaughan an electric shock. The lights, the LED strip under the desk.

Yeah, hasn't worked for a while. I've recently found out why twice. There's a loose wire. And it tickles. It tickles and it stabs into you. All right, you lot, listen up. It's story time. Story time.

Three interesting, unusual, quirky, odd news stories that I've found online. I'll read three headlines. And Vaughn and Megan, pick one. Okay. Headline one, man robs bank with banana and splits. Headline two. Appealing for information?

Yes, they are. You could. No. No, you're out. I was going to try a potassium one. Those are smoothie criminals. It's good. Oh, yeah, whatever.

Please, Bonita, your help Yeah that's good I'm a Chiquita little monkey That was a double pun actually It was good Chiquita and monkey Yeah good stuff Headline two Cheap luggage And headline three

Man's joyride doesn't end well Cheap luggage birds Someone smuggling birds luggage. And headline three, man's joyride doesn't end well. Cheap luggage birds. Someone smuggling birds. Some birds smuggling. Maybe. What was the last one? Something doesn't end well. Man's joyride doesn't end well.

Quite a fan of a joyride as long as no one gets hurt. But also like to hear about people thinking they can smuggle animals places. I am in what they call a pickle. Joyride. Joyride.

Yeah. We go now to Poland and a small town in Poland where a man was arrested for driving a tank through the streets of this small town that I have no idea how to pronounce. Here we go.

The vehicle, a Soviet T-55 tank that's at least 60 years old, belonged to the Polish military, but on June the 12th... It's like a tank, like a proper tank. Like a World War II tank, hey. Like if a kid got to draw a tank, it would be this tank. Sometimes you hear about a tank and you see it.

I've got a picture of the actual tank. Oh, more of a military green. This one's sort of a white arctish. You'll notice as well that surrounding that tank is a suburban street. Yes. That's right, because shortly before 10pm on the 12th of June, neighbours saw what looked like a tank attacking residents and driving through the small streets.

They called police and the unnamed driver, 49, was arrested. He was drunk. Driving a tank. Well, that explains why he's driving a tank down the street. He just decided to take it for a tank down the street he just decided to take it for a spin so apparently he was responsible

for putting the tank on and off its trailer but the trailer the trailer broke while it was being repaired he had this tank just on his I guess front

or backyard driveway and he was like oh well we'll take the tank for a ride I've got it just go for a round the block a couple of times

play with the gun play with the gun did the turret spin with the turret He was like, oh, well, we'll take the tank for a ride. I've got it. Just go for a round the block a couple of times. Play with the gun. Play with the gun. Did the turret spin? With the turret. I imagine the turret was moving. Fun. So, yeah, they arrested him. It's a 40-ton tank.

It was uninsured as well, apparently. He faces up to eight years in prison, charged with creating direct danger of a catastrophe in land, water, or air traffic. For two years also for driving under the influence. These tanks also weren't like slugs, meaning they moved slow. I just looked it up. It came with a 38-litre V12 diesel engine with 581 brake horsepower. So, like,

it's not like you can imagine like a chug, chug, chug. It would have been brr, brr, brr, brr, brr. Oh my God, that's terrible.

That would have really torn up the, the cobblestones. The world, whatever they had for their street. Asphalt, et cetera, et cetera.

Fleshforn and Megan, the podcast, ZM. Australia, the country, has had a bad review. What, like TripAdvisor or Google Reviews? On a backpacker review website.

So backpackers are taking to social media to whinge about Australia. There's one in particular that spent 47 days there, and she posted this on a backpacker's Facebook page. Where's she from? Do we know? The UK. She's from the UK. Wow, well known for loving a whinge from? Do we know? The UK. She's from the UK. Wow, well known

for loving a wind. Love a wind. She came to, or she went to Australia with high expectations and she says they have not been met. She was there for 47 days and she said there were daft working conditions on Aussie farms, the cost

of living, constant rain and storms, and there's restriction on parking vans. Those are her specific whinges. Restriction on parking vans, so you just can't park your crappy Toyota HiAce anywhere. Yeah, your bit of freedom camping. Yeah.

She also said that groceries and fuel are very expensive, and that has really hampered her 47 days here. I thought fuel was always more expensive in the UK than it is here. I don't know. I mean, it's way cheaper than it is here. Yeah. So I'm like, well, okay, I wouldn't be whinging.

So she also said, because when she says farm jobs. Yeah, I was wondering about that too. Like, what is she expecting to do? Just like turn up and have a selfie with a sheep or actually like, because you can imagine Aussie farmers. Yeah. Yeah. So she said you have to pay accommodation to them, which ends, like you end up in a

shared room. I'm just not happy about that. Right. Right. Who did she think, did she think accommodation was free? In exchange for work on the farm. You're a woofer there. A woofer.

But yeah, if you're working on the farm, wouldn't you get free accommodation? Or at least like quite cheap? I don't know. Yeah. Right. So is Australia laid back into her online if they had a go? Yeah. They won't take it lying down, will they?

They won't take it lying down, no. Yeah, no. And they're not happy that it's come from someone from the UK. Yeah. So, do you know, I just looked up price of petrol in the UK. We're not on this list. This is what you would pay in US dollars for a gallon. Which is four litres, about four litres.

Yeah, yeah. And what's a US dollar? Gallon in litres is 3.78. 3.78. So nearly four litres in US dollars. The United Kingdom pays $5.79. It goes up to, on these countries they look at, the Netherlands is the most expensive, $6.48.

Yeah. That's US dollars per gallon. Venezuela, 12 US cents for a gallon of petrol. Wow. Is that, how does that work? Well, I don't know. Because they've got a lot of petrol. Wow. Is that, how does that work? Well, I don't know. Because they've got

a lot of it. I know their economy's screwed. In the toilet, right? And the US is worth heaps there, but surely you just think they would just make

petrol super expensive too. Or do they have their own supplies? Probably their own supplies. I don't know. Nigeria, 38 cents for nearly four litres.

Yeah. What? And even with current exchange rates, what would that be New Zealand-wise? Hardly anything. Like 60 cents? But then, I mean, they're right next to the source, aren't they? In Nigeria. Yeah, they just tap it into it somewhere or something.

Well, I can understand that you've got Egypt, Kuwait, Saudi Arabia, they're down the bottom and stuff as well. Moscow and Russia. All this is just making us feel bad about our petrol prices, isn't it? Yeah. What do we have cheap? Lamb? No.

We always get the off cuts. Yeah, we always get the rubbish fruit and meat. We get the flaps. We get the mutton flaps. Look, there's nothing wrong with mutton flaps if you cook them right, but I'm just saying if you want a shank or a delicious chop,

probably go to the overseas markets to get it. From the ZM Think Tank, this is the Top Six. Hello there, Norway. What an interesting place. I have a main fletch you have been. Oh, beautiful country. It's very similar to New Zealand. Yes.

Very similar. Is that the very expensive place? similar to New Zealand. Yes. Very similar. Is that the very expensive place? The landscape. Very expensive place. Very expensive. Very. But always does quite well for itself on like happiness and everything. Yeah, yeah.

And crime stats are low. Yeah, it's on a whole. Great country. So Norway, there's a little island to the northern Norway. It is called Sommerøy, and that means summer island. And it is saying that it wants to be free of time. Okay.

It does not want to be restricted by the aspects of time. This is their reasoning. And I thought this sounded nuts, and then I read it, and I was like, okay, I'm on board. Okay. They live in, like, it's about to be the summer solstice. Yep. June 21st, so tomorrow.

And the sun does not set. They live so close to the Arctic that the sun just does not set. God, you'd need some dark curtains. Yeah. Well, that's the thing they said. You might look at your watch and it'll say 2 a.m., but then you look out the window and there's kids playing soccer and people mowing their lawns and someone going for a swim.

And you're like, oh, it's supposed to be 2 a.m. And nobody lives. Everybody just functions by their own timing and whatever works for them. And then the opposite. In winter, it's dark. Right. For multiple, I think I read before, 69 days. The sun doesn't set for a full 69 days. And then in winter, they don't see before, there's 69 days. The sun doesn't set for a full 69 days.

And then in winter, they don't see the sun properly for 69 days. Well, when I went in January, it was quite far north. I went quite far north. And yeah, you'd hardly just see any light at all. Weird, eh? It would be like cloudy and it'd just be like it was like, you know, six o'clock at night, you know, just before it's about to... Right.

Do you think it would be weird? Like, we grew up, New Zealand's pretty standard. Yeah. Is it because we're the same distance south of the equator as like Los Angeles is north of the equator? So like your reference of when the sun comes up and sun goes down was always from movies other than what you experienced in real life.

Do you know what I mean? No. Like whenever you saw the sun come up and a rooster go, it was always like in a movie, and movies were made by people who lived in LA or New York, that time zone. But you imagine living in Norway, and you'd be like, ha-ha, that's so funny.

Sun come up, 6 o'clock, nuts. Because that would only happen for them, like, what, a month of the entire year? Yeah, okay. So they're like, no time. They're like, we're going to do it without time. We're going to replace watches with flower garlands. But they still have stuff to do, right?

Not really. Is it times just the measurement of how you work your schedule? So you've still got things you have to do. Yeah, but they're not. By a certain point No Not for them locally Right

Because apparently they just kind of like function as this like Semi-independent Like people come and go Like outsiders Will come and drop stuff off But what about jobs? Well they just kind of get it done I'm so confused

They still get it done Well these are the top six other things That'll be next for this Norwegian island That they're just going to live without. Number six, space. Do you really need it? Well, we're in it. Are we, though?

If time doesn't exist, Megan, if the when doesn't exist, does the where exist? This is far too deep and heavy for this time of the morning. Literally feel my brain go. It needs to be restarted. Control-Alt-Delay. Like you haven't done a couple of updates. Yeah. It's running real slow.

Number five on the list of the top six other things this Norwegian island is just going to live without. Five, a physical presence. What? Because if you don't have a where and you don't have a when, do you need a who? Okay, mate. Didn't think so. Number four on the list of the top

six other things this Norwegian island's going to live without. Number four, the laws of physics. Because I don't know which one of the W's that is. Number three on the list of the top six other things this Norwegian island's going to live without. Along with time, space, a physical presence

and the law of physics, existence itself. Ponder that. I told you this would be weird, didn't I, producer Caitlin? Remember that? And number two on the list of the top six things this Norwegian island is going to live without.

I know. What's left without physical existence. Exactly. Reality itself Okay Like reality TV What is reality? They'll still have Love Island Then they'll get time back

Because everyone will keep missing it And number one on the list of the top six Other things this Norwegian island is just going to live without The drugs by the sounds of it Or at least We should be monitoring their intake Very closely Listen, the top six other things this Norwegian island's just going to live without. The drugs, by the sounds of it. Or at least we should be monitoring their intake very closely. Yeah. Very closely indeed.

That is today's top six. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. ZM, Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. He's still watching the cricket. Megan just said Warren's friend's cute. Why do we... She's never saying anything anymore. It was just a passing comment from across the room.

I don't know if you got a good look at him. What are we up to? We're talking about Avengers. Oh, about the Avengers. Right, cool. We're just a little distracted. How much do we need? What's our vibe?

We just lost a wicket. Colin de Grondholm just spun out on the final corner. It's not motor racing for us. I wish it was. That name is just so, so motor racing. Give a bloody cricket update so we can move on. What's the update? What's stolen for time?

The app's crashed. It's, great ad for Sky there. It's 228 for six. What's stolen for time? The apps crashed. Great ad for Sky there. It's 2.28 for six. We need some runs. 14 off 11. Couple of sixes. Couple of sixes.

That'll be taken. Easy peasy. What do you got? It's back? Carry on. Okay. So great news. Avengers Endgame, which is the end of the third phase in the MCU,

which is, pardon me? Has that beaten? Not yet, but here's why it's about to dethrone Avatar. It's going back to the cinemas with scenes that weren't in the original movie. I went to the cinema last week and it's still in cinemas. Isn't that insane that it's still showing? When did it come out? Anzac Day. So April, May, June.

So yeah, it's been out for like nearly two months. Nearly two whole months. And it's still there. It's crazy. And it has quite a few sessions. Last time I went past the movies, it still had quite a few times beside it. So it's going back to the movies and it's getting additional scenes, which is just like absolute genius play

from Disney and Marvel. People like you who are mega fans. Who rushed to see it. Yeah. And have probably seen it multiple times. We'll go back again to get this fresh. And apparently a post-credit scene. Because if you've seen Avengers Endgame,

there's no post-credit scene. All you hear is the hammering of what sounds like the original hammering from the Iron Man movies of when he's making the original Iron Man. So the hammering, sort of engineering, if you will. Right. So maybe we're going to see what went with that sound. Because we all sat there waiting and then there was like nothing.

They didn't do it. They didn't do it. They're good at making money, aren't they? These movie studios. Marvel, prepare for more money to be made because of the immediate success of Star Wars Galaxy's Edge, which is at Disney World and Disneyland, where yesterday I watched a video of

you can make your own lightsaber and I almost started crying. Bourne literally said, if I went there and made my own lightsaber, I'd cry. I found it so overwhelming to watch. I was like, and this kid was there and he was like crying. Are you tearing up?

I'm just excited. There was a kid in the video and he was making a lightsaber and he was like crying because he was so happy to be making a lightsaber and I just saw that kid and I was like, it's me. It's me as a grown man. God, you're weird. Crying as a kid. So I've got to make it.

So I'd cry at that. They've announced their next one is going to be a Marvel themed part to the park. At Disneyland. Yeah, at Disneyland and Disney World there's going to be a new section of the park. They must just be bowling people's houses that live around.

Hey, can we buy you a house? We want to turn it into I don't know, Avengers Tower. Sweet. Yeah, knock it down. So there's going to be everything you can do that relates to the Marvel Cinematic Universe as the next stage for Disneyland Park. So just when you thought that maybe you'd been to the Disneyland Parks and done it, you're going to have to go back and do it all over again. Still haven't seen Avengers.

So when this is re-released, we'll go with you. Yeah. That sounds great. Everything must have been ruined for you. Yeah, I would have picked up a few things. That's why I was just like, oh, wow. Too late. New Zealand needing 13 runs off nine balls.

We did just lose a wicket before. He's talking about cricket, by the way. Talking about cricket, your cricket world cup. What else could he possibly have been talking about, Megan? I don't know. Runs off balls. Just double checking. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast.

So we should all be working one day a week. This is what researchers have found because one day a week, an eight hour day. Oh yeah, they work one day a week. One day a week. Lazy. Eight hours of work per week. So you have one day where you do an eight hour day is optimal for wellbeing.

So it's not just not working. You have to have eight hours a week and optimal is in one day. We have had a few emails lately about wellbeing and how the company is concentrating on wellbeing. This is it. This is us. Present the study. Present the study. Present the study. So as long as you go to work one day a week,

you're feeling as good as if you, so you're like contributing. Mental and physical health benefits of full-time employment. Yeah. But you're only doing the one day. Because here's my, I would start begrudging them for making me work one day a week. I'm like, but I can't go like overseas for like two weeks because I've got to come back and work. Oh my God, this is typical. No, but they say if you, because you're feeling

so good mentally and physically, you go and you work a really good hard eight hours and then like you feel good about it. So similar arguments for working four days, eh? Four days for the week. So scientists have also said it's healthier to be unemployed than have a stressful job.

I'm totally on board with that. I mean, healthier, but then question mark, where are you getting your money to eat? Yeah, but then exactly, how are you living? So they've said in the next few decades, artificial intelligence

and big data robots will replace a lot of the paid work. So we should look at everyone doing full-time being like maybe eight hours a week and spread it across so everyone gets the eight hours a week and spread it across so everyone gets the eight hours a week and it's optimal for our mental health. But then are we all getting paid like the same?

To be able to afford rent and food? Yeah, right. Or mortgage whatever, kids? Yeah, we would all get paid the same. It's a nice idea, isn't it? No, but the jobs would have different level of difficulty. How are we going to afford our robots? Yeah, we've got to charge the robots, don't we? No, but the jobs would have different level of difficulty. How are we going to afford our robots? Yeah, we've got to charge the robots, don't we?

They take power. Yeah, okay. You pose lots of problems. No, I reckon we make each robot have its own nuclear battery. What could go wrong? What could go wrong? We could have a mini Chernobyl in our house all the time. Oh my God, so cute.

I love that TV show. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. So waking up to another cold morning around the country, just a quick snapshot. Christchurch at the moment, 0.6. Currently the coldest place in the country is minus 5.5 in Alex. What? It's so cute that you wrote down all the different temperatures to tell.

Well, no, because it's, yeah, I don't have a list. I've got to click on each city on the website. Right. It's probably changed since then I don't have a list. I've got to click on each city on the website. Right. No good on you. It's probably changed since then. I literally just did this. I literally did this 30 seconds ago, Vaughan. He's just been researching.

The mercury is plummeting in Alex. It's probably from minus 5.5. Okay, well, I'm going to just check my Dunedin temperature. 3.6. Still 3.6. According to who?

Hamilton 3.2 and Wellington 5.9. Auckland is the warmest place in the country at the moment. 13.7. Oh, barmy. Bar Wellington 5.9. Auckland is the warmest place in the country at the moment, 13.7. Barmy. Barmy, 13.7. At the other end of the temperature scale, the hottest places on the earth,

it's a very contentious issue. The hottest place on earth belongs to Death Valley in California. What's that, like 40-something? So 54 degrees was recorded in 2013, but the reason they're a little bit hum-ha about that is apparently in 1913 it hit 56.7 degrees. But it was so long ago, and temperature measurement wasn't as accurate there. They're somewhat reluctant to say that's the hottest

that the Earth's ever been. And it sounds old school, like someone just had one of those mum and dad thermometers that stick on the window. Yeah. And the hottest temperature in Tunisia in Africa is 55 degrees. Now, that was in 1931.

Now, if Death Valley and that one are correct, those are the hottest two temperatures. But they happened quite a while ago. Right. But there has always been a bone of contention as to who is the third and fourth hottest place. Okay. They have confirmed this because these happened more recently.

Okay. And they had more accurate technology. So the third hottest place ever recorded on Earth was in Kuwait and it hit 53.9 degrees Celsius. Plus or minus 0.1 degrees of uncertainty. So it could have been 54 degrees or it could have been 53.8.

But that's how accurate it could have been. They do. They've got a burger fuel in Kuwait. Because if you've ever been to a burger fuel and you see on the thing

it's like Kuwait. Yeah, I always thought that was a joke for a while but no, it's not. I knew that was legit because I asked them. I was like, is this for real?

And they're like, I'll just have to ask the manager. I was like, you don't have to. I was just, passing time. They came back

and they were like, it is. Yeah, it's in Kuwait. Wow. Don't they have them in Dubai and Saudi Arabia?

Yeah, but you see it on the thing and then when you see Kuwait, it's Google. It's because we grew up in a time where

you only ever heard of Kuwait because of the war. Yeah. Yeah. The Gulf War. Yeah. And so you just imagine that it's very war-y. Yeah, but it's not. But it's got a burger fuel now, so problem solved.

Yeah, great. Bandage on that situation in the Middle East. And the fourth hottest temperature, 53.7, was in Pakistan in 2017. So what is this news that they've just kind of confirmed it? And they've said, we've accepted this. It now stands in our record books as these temperatures. But it's almost like, and apparently this was quite a thing, like the area was like, we're the third, we're the third.

Like it was a little bit. Like, who's showing off that you can't go outside at all? Yeah, that it's, like, sweltering hot. It gets so hot here, nothing grows. Do you know what it's like? And you would have had this growing up in Nelson. It's like Nelson versus Blenheim, Marlborough. Who's got the most sunshine?

But I can understand that because you're growing crops and sunshine hours is a good thing. It's nice. For tourism. Yeah. But, like, when it gets so hot you could melt. Yeah. I'd let somebody else have it. Like, that's not going to bring an influx of tourism, is it?

Even parts of Australia that get to, like, high 30s and into the 40s, you're like, horrible. Why would anyone want to live there? And it's a different heat. It's a different heat. Well, it's not as muggy, is it? It's just an all-draining heat. Well, ours is just humidity.

Is that going to make people feel better right now about being so cold? I don't know. I could do that. What a great podcast so far. Wouldn't you agree, Fletch? Yes. And it's all thanks to Spark. Get one gig of bonus data with

the spark u25 pack now back to the podcast ian and christine smith are in china your parents yeah don't don't even think about like robbing their sheds or anything while they're gone because they've got a guy looking after it and i've got those security cameras and he's got a shotgun yeah and i think it's a gun you're allowed to shoot people on the farm if they're robbing you i don't know about that is Is that not okay? No. Right. Pop one off. That'll scare them enough. Oh, a warning shot.

Yeah, yeah. That'll scare them enough. But mum and dad, mum was concerned because when she goes away, she likes to keep in touch. Yep. On Facebook. Well, she likes to see what the grandkids are doing. Yeah, yeah.

But she said now she has been made aware thanks to the Wendy Woo travel people. We play the Wendy Woo ads. You're like, who is Wendy Woo and what are these tours? My mum and dad. That's who. They're doing them. They're doing the Wendy Woo tour. That's great.

I know. Does Wendy Woo go on the tour? I'd be disappointed if she didn't. Okay. I'll have to ask mum and dad if Wendy was on. If Wendy's there. Wendy might have sent one of her people. But she said, mum said most of their correspondence will thus have to be by email.

Because Messenger's not working. And I said, as a joke, I was like, you should sign up for a Weeboo account while you're there. She's like, oh, I wouldn't know. I wouldn't have any idea. Because they use Weeboo. There's no Facebook in China. There's a lot of things that are blocked. Yeah. I've had friends that have any idea how to. Because they use Weeboo. There's no Facebook in China. There's a lot of things that are blocked. I've had friends that have gone over.

Yeah. So mum and dad are corresponding by email. Quite old school. But they emailed us on arrival. Have arrived safely. Mum doesn't have a lot to write. Have arrived safely. A bit tired.

Not much sleep. Doesn't look like Messenger's working. Love mum and dad. That is a classic mum response. What about WhatsApp? WhatsApp's the same, isn't it? That's blocked. Mum and dad aren't on WhatsApp.

Mum's not on WhatsApp. Facebook, Instagram umbrella. Yeah, mum's not on WhatsApp. And I said, look at you go. I hope everything's going well. And she said... Is this the extent of your back and forth? Oh, no, no, no.

Mine was like, glad to see you got there safely. Not too much to report here. August had her first day at school. I'll try to send you some photos, but I don't know if they'll get through. Blah, blah, blah. And she said,

oh, very pleased August's first day went well. You'd be so proud of us. We had dumplings and steamed buns and noodles for dinner. Very... You'd be so proud of us. Very nice it was too. Dad even used chopsticks.

Oh, good on him. Because one of mum's main concerns about going to China was she's very plain with her eating. Oh yeah, she's very picky, isn't she? She's not very experimental. My dad will eat anything and give anything a go. That's his rule. Try it.

If you like it, do it again. Especially when you're in a different country, you've got to try the food. Mum's, no, pepper's too spicy. My mum. She wouldn't even do a sweet chilli sauce, would she? Oh, God, no. To burn for a little,

and then she'd say she's got a stomach ache and then run us through her bowel motions because it was all because of the sweet chilli. So I made her, when they came and stayed before they left, I made her some steamed buns from the supermarket she was like

these are quite delicious aren't they so she's on board now she's on board I was like well that's fantastic look at you go I hope it's all going well

mum said just thought I'd report in no sicknesses so the noodles were okay we didn't get sick from noodles raining here talk soon oh brilliant okay and so last Oh my God. We didn't get sick from noodles. Raining hair, talk soon.

Oh, brilliant. Okay. And so last night I get an email saying, could you do us a favour? I've had a message from one of my friends on Messenger. I got the notification, but of course I can't open it, which is weird that she got the notification. At our age, you can only assume the worst. That's what she said.

She must be dead. Would you please contact her and give her our email? Right. I hope everything's okay. She's probably just being like, how's it going? How's it going? How's China going? Yeah, they don't know.

So basically, mum doesn't know, but I know her Facebook password, so I logged on and it was nothing. Right. It was absolutely nothing to worry about.

But mum's now just said they've had their first full day on tour, covered lots of grounds. Dad's favourite thing was the electromagnetic train which went from

the city to the airport in seven minutes. We covered 31 kilometres and got up to 431 k's an hour. Oh, wow. Like this would have been right in Dad's wheelhouse.

Oh, yeah. He would have been like trying to find the guy driving and be like, how does it work? Can you show me? Might be able to have

a little go. And they're setting off to their cruise down the Yangtze River. Oh, lovely. So they're all well. But my dad's away. Yeah. And I can't undo a screw. Are you kidding me?

Yeah, I've got this pump, right, and it needs to be fixed. But part of it is I need to be able to open it. Yeah. And the screw on one end where you put the screwdriver in it's like a flat not a Phillips head a flat screw very very big piece

you've got to twist that and hold the other end still and twist it to undo it but it's been working for so long it's quite jammed and my dad would know how to like

he'd know a trick to get it undone but you can't email him because he won't email back to tonight and it would take him like half of his tour of China and Wendy will be like come on in and he's like I don't know I'm just two finger toeing back to tonight. And it would take him like half of his tour of China

and Wendy will be like, Ian? And he's like, I don't know, I'm just two finger typing back to my son. I'll be ready in eight hours. Right, so have you tried like squirting some CRC on it? Mate, I've used a full can of CRC. I don't know how much CRC you can put on an electrical engine before it becomes a fire hazard. And then I told Indy about CRC and then I turned around

and the rest of the can was gone because she just went around squirting everything, like hinges and everything that moved. So our garage doesn't make a single sound at the moment. Everything's very lubricated. But, you know, like your dad didn't know a trick, like tap it with a hammer. But I don't want to tap it with a hammer because what if that makes it worse? Wasn't there, oh no, I saw one online, but I don't know if it's real or not.

If your thread's broken on the screw, you put like, was it a rubber band? That's on a Phillips head, that's on a Phillips head screw. This is more of a large bolt and the shaft of the thing runs right through it to the other end. But you don't have any of your friend group that would know. How to undo a screw. What if I put it to my main chat on my WhatsApp group? Yeah. And everybody made suggestions.

Nothing worked. Right. Okay. So you need a dad, some help from a dad right now, or just maybe just a blokey bloke? Yeah. How do I undo it? How do you undo a screw?

It's this electric motor and the bolt runs all the way through. And there's a fan on that end. Maybe you just need some muscle. Nah, it's not a muscle situation. No, definitely not. Bloody hell. I brought in a screwdriver. Could you drill the head of the screw out?

No, because then I have to replace the whole shaft. The whole, because it's a long. Oh, right. It's not like a standard screw. It's got a screw end. Okay. Well, if you can help Vaughn out, because it's a long... Oh, right. It's not like a standard screw. It's got a screw end. Okay. Well, if you can help Vaughn out, because his dad's away, and he really needs to do this today, text

9696. Oh, $800 at him. Spray the screw with penetrine. What's penetrine? A penetrating lubricant. Somebody said a dot punch. Here's the problem with... What's a dot punch? Like a hole punch. You know, if you're going to put a drill or a nail on something, your dad would go whack to mark it.

Doesn't he push it in? Yes. No. So they're saying on the angle and someone holds the other end and you tap it with a hammer just to give it a bit of a shock and a spin. That didn't work either. Oh, so you tried that. I tried that with a chisel and nearly broke the whole thing.

See, my dad would be like, no, it's not brute force. He'd have some line. He'd be like, it's not brute force, it's you've got to tickle it. Technique. Yeah, there'll be something. Impact driver, I've used that. Nearly broke that. Could be a left-hand thread.

Surely not. Oh my god, imagine if you could truly not work away tightening it this whole time. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. Struggling. Struggling with a screw. Surely not. What if I've been tightening it this whole time? Struggling with a screw. It's not a standard screw. I feel like I didn't... Right. Well, explain this well enough.

Vaughn's dad's away in China, so he can't answer Vaughn's questions or help because he's uncontactable today. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And Vaughn can't undo a screw, basically. So it's not screwed into something. It's not like a standard screw. It runs the whole way through like a motor.

It runs through a motor, and at one, it spins. The motor spins it. It's also the shaft. Okay. Is the shaft the right word? It's the thing that spins. It's a pump, and it spins.

And on one end is a flat end, and the other end where it screws into, see, both ends move. It's a pump and it spins and on one end is a flat end and the other end where it screws into, see both ends move. That's problematic because you've got to be able to hold one end and turn the other.

So it's on a pump that's broken. Just take it to an expert. It's not broken. This sounds like something you need to... No, because I fixed the last one. Okay.

This is the second one because the other one was very problematic and then I was like, well, I fixed that and the other one's got a slight drip. I was like, I'll fix that too. I shouldn't have. I should have just let it slight

drip because it's not broken. Don't fix it. So, it just won't undo. Now, some people have called up to help. Good morning, Amy. Hi. Now, do you have any advice for Vaughan? Can you substitute his dad? Well, my husband is a mechanic and he

always said, righty tighty,, lefty-loosey. What does that even mean? I've just been looking at it. What does that mean? You turn it to the left to loosen it, and you go right to tight. Righty-tighty, lefty-loosey. But then what do left-handed people do?

Do they just have to conform to this righty world? I'm left-handed, but I do everything with my right hand. It's no different. They turn it left too, Fetch. Left people still possess the ability to turn things left. What if a left-handed person designed a screw and stuff and they went the other way? Why would they?

That's madness. What if they had it? Have you tried it? No, because someone who messaged in saying, you just try turning it the other way. You might have. It might be. Because there's gas fittings that go,

there's something, I think it's a gas bottle when I'm trying to attach it to something like a barbecue or something. It's the different way of turning and I'm like confusing everything. Amy, thank you. Good morning, Ryan.

Good morning, Cain. How are we? Would you like to be Vaughan's substitute dad? Oh, I'll see what I can do for you. Okay. Just hold on. Dad. What I'd use is a...

Dad. Dad. I can't get the scrinder. It's in the pump. for you. What I'd use is a... Dad, dad, dad. I can't get the scryder in. It's in the pump. Right, well, here's where you're going wrong. Okay. In my opinion, in my expert opinion, I'd be using, you can buy an impact screwdriver. It's like a metal

screwdriver that you hit with a hammer. Douse it in WD-40 and hold the other end with a set of vice grips. It Douse it in WD-40. Yep. And hold the other end with a set of vice grips. Yeah. And it's a two-person job. It really is. And if you can't do it with that,

it's not worth fixing. Get some petrol and a set of matches and watch it burn. Great. That's great advice. I like you as a dad, Ryan. Very.

That's great dad advice. What does an impact screwdriver look like? It sort of looks like a... Does it look like great dad of mine. Where do I get an impact? What does an impact screwdriver look like? Alright, it sort of looks like a sort of like a silver bullet. A silver bullet. Because yesterday

in my head I invented a tool but I'm pretty sure it would exist. Right. It was like a screwdriver except it came out to like a T intersection.

So you'd put in the screw and then, because you know how hard it is to hold a screwdriver and really put, you've got to use all your effort on the grip. You were saying put a tap on the end of a screwdriver. Exactly.

But like a bigger one, like a wider one that fits in your hand and you can like really wrench it around because you don't need to concentrate on the grip. You can just concentrate on the force. Thank you, Ryan. Charlotte, good morning. Morning. Have you got some advice for Vaughn?

I do. Get a hacksaw. Cut the very bottom off that you can and just pull it out and just put a new one in. Job done. But no, but Charlotte, it's the whole shaft, Charlotte. And move on with our lives. And then, Charlotte, if I cut the end off that I can get to

and pull it out, I've still got to get the other thing off the other end because I need that. That's the spinny bit. Yeah. Yeah, but then you should be able to actually hold the shaft, and pull it out, I've still got to get the other thing off the other end because I need that. That's the spinny bit. Yeah, but then you should be able to actually hold the shaft, as you call it, in place with a crescent or a set of vice grips or something, and then you'll be able to actually just use a screwdriver

or a crescent or a socket set to actually pull that piece out. Not with the amount of bloody CRC of you, Charlotte. That thing's going to be slippery until 2021, 2021 at the very least. Charlotte, thank you so much. Okay, so pump experts have weighed in. Here we go. And they said how they're tied in is all relative to the way that the pump spins. Now I

wondered this because on the front I did see a thing that said rotation and it had an arrow pointing which way it spins. I was like, interesting fact that is not at all handy. But now it spins to the left. So I probably now it spins to the left. So I probably have to go to the right. You're turning it the wrong way. But I thought it only spins because it spins at the back too.

Do you need me to help if it's a two-person job? Oh my God, Vaughn. Sometimes you should ask some questions before you just like jump into. I tried to Google and nothing. Like that's nuts. If you can Google something in 2019 and you can't find an answer, that's crazy, eh? I feel like you need to update us this afternoon on Instagram.

Yeah. With how this goes. Yeah. Well, you might not have enough time today. No, I'll make time. What do I? We've got a function tonight. I'm not going to that.

I'm not going if it means I get to do this. I would find far more satisfaction in getting this screw-up than going to an awards ceremony. For a start, there'll be nobody in my garage but me. So that means no annoying people. Well, one annoying person, but it's very hard to annoy yourself. Flesh, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast, ZM. So yesterday was August 3rd day of Primary Skills.

Started on Monday. So Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday. Today's the fourth day. And she's loving it. And apparently she got another sticker yesterday. I don't want to say that my child's advanced, but she got a sticker for being a great role model to children who have been going to the school a lot longer than she had. So I just want to say that's my definition. Yeah.

Advanced. Advanced. Of course. Yeah, I've been there longer, but she's just a better kid. Full stop. Oh, right. You don't need to say better kid. I can.

She's mine. It's what we're all thinking about our own children. Of course. I'm just somewhat reluctant to say it out loud because it makes us sound like bad people. But she came home from school and Indy said, did August show you this? And started getting it out. And August was like, no, no, no, don't show them. Don't show them.

Don't show them. Don't show them. And I was like, what is it? And so I started recording on my phone and the following transpired. What have you got here, Augie? What is that? This is nothing. It's stuff from Oliver. transpired. rainbow. Yeah, double rainbow. And then this is them diving away in their wedding car.

August, you've been at school for three days. Marriage proposal. Three days. It's a book. It's actually one of the cutest things I've ever seen. I was like, this is, he's a gentleman. This Oliver, he's always sticking time. No, well he's not.

That's what I like about him. Straight to the point. He's a gentleman and he's not Oliver. He's always sticking to Sam. No, well, he's not. That's what I like about him. Straight to the point. He's a gentleman and he's polite. Right. Maybe this is because she asked him so many questions about when it was time to eat. And he's like, here's a woman that I consider myself settling down with. She likes eating. I like eating.

Yeah. I'm going to ask her to marry me. Wow. That's how simple every relationship would be. Wow. Do you like to eat? I do like to eat. Do you like to eat at this time?

I do like to eat at that time. Let's get married and eat. Did she respond to his proposal? She wouldn't tell me. I said, so what are you going through with it or what? She's like, I don't want to talk about it. Oh my God. So coy and playing it down.

I can't believe that took three days. To get a marriage proposal in book form I'm so excited for when your kids are old enough to have boyfriends and Megan and I can just tease you Oh it's going to be great But if they're all like gentlemanly like this I'll be

I won't be fine They're not going to be I mean you remember what it was like when you were it You were one. Yeah, I was one, but no one ever had me as a boyfriend, so... That's the saddest thing I've ever heard. Yeah, dude, as it was coming out of my mouth, I was like, this does sound particularly sad.

You were just the guy they chased out of the house. No, they were all like, oh, Dad, this is my friend. Vaughn. And that's the pause they'd leave after friend. I'd be like, oh, Dad, this is my friend. Vaughn. And that's the pause they'd leave after friend. I'd be like, oh, hey. Like parents actually quite liked me because I would talk to them and stuff. And maybe they saw you as non-threatening. Yeah, I think I was very non-threatening.

Yeah, like look at this nerd. There's no way she's sitting there for this. Which again, as it comes out of her mouth, it's quite a sad thing to hear said. I would like to know though because primary school is that age where you get some romantic gestures maybe some

I picked wildflowers because we used to bike to school and I remember going past a little patch of like those really big daisies like really big

I found out since they were a weed like I took my mum home some once and she was like this is a weed Vaughan like how's that for a mother, right?

I'd be like, oh my god, my son took time to stop on his bike ride home and pick me some wildflowers that he liked and he thought my mother would like these. Her immediate words were those are a weed, Vaughan. She Simon Cowell'd you. Immediately. Immediately.

She's like, this is rubbish. I took a girl at primary school some wildflowers. Very romantic. I don't remember any romantic gestures at primary school. I threw one for Jared. We had a tea party. Jared. Yeah, Jared was like my first love.

And you threw him a tea party? Yeah, I think we were going to get married once, but I don't think we went through with it. I think he might have called that. Was the tea party at school? No, it was at my house. We had a pretend tea party. At primary school? Yeah. Oh, okay.

Yeah, I was like, come over for tea. See, I was a sophisticated bee, like, right from the get-go. Yeah, but you knew what you wanted. Yeah. And you were out to get it. Because I was just about to say, you know, I think at that age we put too much stuff on boys being friends with girls being like, ooh, you've got a boyfriend.

Ooh, you've got a girlfriend. But then Megan's just gone and proved the point that she knew what she wanted. Thank God you didn't end up with a Jared. But was it a tea? Did you actually drink tea or was it Raro? No, it was just imaginary, but I had the whole tea set. But you actually didn't supply him with any liquids?

No. No, we were like five We were not drinking tea No but yeah just have some liquid Have you Facebook stalked him to see if he was the one that got away? Oh he's happily married Oh okay right I'm sure we did

Semi recently No that was another guy we Facebook stalked Was that another Jared? Didn't we have a look up Because you had a few boys from Jared's And I was like that's guy That is like what Jared in the dictionary would look like No we looked up another person that we're not naming

Remember? Yeah Navy Remember? Yeah. Navy? Remember? That's right, the Navy boy that Megan... Yeah. She got a ride on a frigate. Ah, okay.

She got a tour of the frigate. Yeah, the naval base. She got a personal guide of the frigate. Yeah, there we go. That's always working, Mark. Right. Got to see the big guns. So I want to know, primary school romantic gestures.

Maybe you gave, maybe you received. Maybe you got married at primary school. Well, I've talked about it before, but I was in line to get married. How old were you? At primary school, we were going to have a little marriage there in the native tree area, probably beside the kofi tree as it flowered beautifully in yellow. What happened? Well, she went to Sweden. She fled the country.

She didn't just go on holiday to Hwongamata. She went to Sweden. Like as far away as she could get. Was she a Swedish exchange student? No, her dad was Swedish. Right. But she had it all lined up. This was one big prank on my heart.

All right. It was an exciting day and then come wedding day, where is she? The family's gone to Sweden. Well, those romantic gestures that you had at primary school, maybe you got married by the jungle gym. Great place for a wedding. People know it.

You've got a good location there and a great option for wedding photos. Give us a call, 0800-DARLS-ATM-9696. Talking about your primary school, sweet moments. Maybe those romantic gestures that you made. Some amazing stories and calls coming through.

Some text messages. I got a love heart mood ring from my boyfriend when I was eight. My mum made me give it back. Oh, boy. I don't know if mum was some sort of believer

of that was it. That was a deal. Somebody else said, I feel like the reason I'm still single in my 30s Oh, boy. I don't know if mum was some sort of believer of that was it. That was a deal. Yeah. Somebody else said, I feel like the reason I'm still single in my 30s is the fact that I got married three times at primary school and didn't get divorced from one until I got married to the next. Right.

Too many. They cursed themselves. Rebecca, what was the romantic gesture at primary school? When I was about, I think maybe it was, I was four and he might have been five or six. I married Rob Nickel of the New Zealand Black Camp.

Wow. Wow, okay. The one that got away. How long did that marriage, how long did that... It's only five minutes. Five minutes. Because he literally

got on his bike and ran away afterwards. And this is after the mums had got all their fancy kitchen rubber gloves on and wrapped all the paper plates and tinfoil to give us, you know, they give silverware at weddings. The parents actually set up to take photos of this wedding. Oh, yeah, and they got dressed in, like, their nice, we're in our backs as at Manly, and they got into their nicest summer outfits and they, we're in our batches at Manly, and they

got into their nicest summer outfits and they put the rubber gloves on in the kitchen to dress themselves up a bit and they wrapped all the paper plates in tinfoil so you feel the wear. At the batch at Manly, what white woman will do to entertain themselves when they're rich, eh? Got it. Hey, Rebecca, thanks for your call. Lisa, what was the romantic gesture for you at primary school?

I got a Valentine's Day card that said, grass is green, so is snot, Daniel Cleland likes you a lot. You still remember it. Thank you. I go, how could you forget it? Wow, what poetry. He's like, what is green? Has he gone on to be one of our leading poets?

Oh, probably. Oh, you don't know what he's up to? He's not a writer. He's a playwright. Hey, thanks you call Lisa. Jai, what was your romantic gesture you made? It was when I was in the first grade of primary school. I proposed to a girl. She said no, we were too young.

And I kneeled on one knee. Oh, buddy. You were like, please. How old were you, Jai? How old was I? Five. Five. Oh, you're so you, Jai? How old was I? Five. Five? Oh, you're so romantic, Jai.

She was quite wise, though. Maybe that's a bit young. That is a bit young, Jai. Yeah, he got very excited at his mum, and he actually went to the shop, and he bought a ring especially for her with a little box and everything. Oh!

This is breaking my heart! Hey, thanks for your call. Some text messages in. Oh, some of these are real cute, but some of these are real awkward. Some of these, speaking of cricketers, Martin Crowe once bought me stickers and pens to school. His dad worked at the big factory. So there you go.

Dad had to hook up to them. What kind of stickers? The stickers they put on the lighters? I don't know. I don't know. Some barcode stickers. At primary school, a boy got up in assembly and... No.

I know. No. And he said, this is dedicated to... And pointed at me and sung Crazy Town, Butterfly. You're my butterfly, sugar. You're my butterfly, sugar, baby. Come my lady. Come my lady. Come, come my baby. You're my butterfly, sugar. You're my butterfly, sugar, baby. Come my lady. Come my lady.

Come, come my baby. You're my butterfly, sugar, baby. Was it a talent show or did he just like? No, apparently just an assembly. He just really felt it. He just decided to really get up there and sing a classic. I don't know if this was a new song. Did everyone clap along?

I'm going to fast forward to the. And I ain't going to lie because your living song. Did everyone clap along? I'm going to fast forward to that. It may now this bit. It may now this bit. It would have been pretty impressive. I hope that everyone clapped along. And appropriate. And appropriate.

You couldn't say that in assembly. You wouldn't. You'd say, and she's got the sense of smell. Yeah. She can smell things. Come, my baby. Come, come, my baby. You're my butterfly sugar, baby.

Come on in, baby. You're my pretty baby. I'll make you like shake. You'll make me go crazy. Okay, that's inappropriate. ZM. ZM's Fletch Vaughn and Megan. Thanks, Ash. And yes, a great win for the Blackcaps this morning

over South Africa in the Cricket World Cup. On top of the table now we are. This is Greg Vaughan's on the bandwagon. Yep, yep. I just messaged. I enjoyed the end of that game. It was pretty exciting. Yeah.

I just messaged Marty Guptill saying we were all even excited. Well, no, I was actually, okay, long story short. He's just messaging Marty Guptill so that he can come on here and be like, I've just seen a guppier message. Yeah, we're just having fun. Yeah, bloody hell. I mean, he's playing in the World Cup. He's definitely got time for your messages.

That's the thing, straight after they won, he liked a photo I put on Facebook. And I was like, thanks for taking the time out of your celebrations and what must be an intense moment of, you know, cricket and career to like that photo. But no, I just called in a mate of mine who's like Martin Guptill's biggest fan and he's in the UK. So I'm trying to get him a signed bat.

Like, my friend provides the bat, Martin Guptill signs it. Oh, right, just signs it. I'm just facilitating this. How old's your friend? 10? I know, right? No, it's a cute one. I mean, that's what we did when we were in school. We'd like go to the cricket and take a little

bat and you'd get a signature. Yeah, there was a cricketer and this has always stuck in my mind. Maybe this is what soured cricket for me. As a child I was in Blake Park, Mount Maunganui. Okay, yeah. Great cricketing ground. Canterbury, we were playing Auckland and we were there on summer holidays and it was like

$5 to get in so my parents dropped us off for the day. And left you there. Left us there. And I found one of those little signature bats on the ground. Great find. So far, you'd say, this day's going great. It's going great for boys. Now, I don't know any of the cricketers, but I went to the cricketer closest to the fence. Yeah.

And his name was Richard Petrie. Okay. Yep. And I said, Mr. Petrie, will you sign my bat? And he said, just wait. I said, oh, wait here. And then the change of the overs came. And I was like, would yourel, you saw my bat? And he said, just wait. I said, oh, wait here. And then the change of the overs came. And I was like, would you be able to saw my bat?

And he's like, would you piss off? And I was like, I'll take my leave of absence. And I walked home. And I got back to where we were staying. And mum's like, what are you doing back? I was like, oh, Crooked had told me to piss off. So I pissed off. All the way home.

It was like 7Ks and I was like, yeah, my mum was like sad. But this is pre-cell phones. I didn't have a way of calling mum and dad. The bachelor was saying that I had no phone. Oh, my God. So I was just like, well, I've got to wait here. Wait here. Yeah.

And be sad because Richard Petrie told me to piss off. Or I can just piss off and walk home. So yeah, I just convinced my brother it was time to go and we walked home. Wow.

Freaked my parents out when they got home and their kids were like, we just walked 7km. Right. Did they complain? No, mum said he was probably justified.

Because that's why she dropped us off at the cricket. She wanted us to piss off while ruining our holiday. All right. Next at the cricket. She wanted us to piss off. We were ruining her holiday. All right. Next on the show. Fletch is having a birthday on Sunday.

It's quite a big one. It's quite an important one. A milestone birthday. Someone say he's having his 21st. It's got a nought in it. Oh, yeah. 21st naughty. It's a naughty 21st.

So it does have nought in it. All right. So we're setting him challenges yesterday after the show. This was hard. Like harder than working an actual job at Megan's Cafe. Well, that's because you didn't actually do anything. Because this is something I actually hate doing. Yeah.

It was so awkward to witness. And that was really obvious because you were terrible at it. Next on the show, Fletch tries to spark up conversation with a stranger ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan The Podcast Now we just spoke

moments ago about the Cricket World Cup on at the moment you spoke about a traumatic childhood moment where you asked a cricketer called Richard Petrie

Canterbury cricketer Richard Petrie for a signature I didn't really know who he was he was just the closest to the He told you to

piss off I just googled him I've actually got his phone number it's right here he was. He was just the closest to the field. He told you to piss off. I just Googled him. I've actually got his phone number. It's right here. He does marketing. If this is the same guy. Well, he wasn't marketing himself very well that day. I think he did.

If you need me to set this up, I think he dropped a catch or something. Oh, right. And so maybe straight after he dropped the catch, I was like, excuse me. Don't justify it for him. No, I'm not. And another part of the story that I just remembered

was when we were walking home we were walked past a place you know on the side of the road they sell like sweet corn and like watermelon and stuff and these people were like are you kids okay

and I was like oh yeah we're just walking home from the cricket and they're like how far have you got to walk and I told them and they're like have a free piece of watermelon

and I was like today's not all bad I told you to beat that out have a free piece of watermelon. And I was like, today's not all bad. Four before 40. I told you to beat that out. Again. We all know now. 30, I think it said. It's well established.

It said 30. Yeah. It said 30. And you know, I hate this song as well. God, you're really making me in a bad mood before this birthday on Sunday.

Stoke the fire. Yeah. So we've been setting our Fletch challenges. Tomorrow's do not miss. Oh, what does that mean? I have not been excited about a segment like this has got me jazzed. Tomorrow's is going to be so good.

Oh, I hate not knowing. So, so far Fletch has held twin babies for longer than like two seconds. Oh, that was so hard. Because I was like holding them so tight. I was like, I don't want to drop these. But the DMs took off though, eh? Like people were really. Everyone was upset that you were calling them it instead of like them.

I am. So we were getting it. But then like you, yours was fired up with people who were just like saw breeding potential in you. Oh, yeah. People were like sexy. I'm like, tell him, not me. I don't need that. Look at him taking the role as alpha male.

He's like, you were the lead chimpanzee. No, thank you. No way. We also made you work at Megan's Cafe, but that was really short-lived because actual customers were being. Oh, and I kept eating all the food. You fired me even though we hadn't signed a contract, or you didn't pay me.

It was your trial period. I've got to give you my bank details actually for when you do the pay. For the 20 minutes where you ate more than you sold. Yeah, and that coffee that you wasted. That was actually a valuable work experience. And then we accidentally dined and dashed. But then Megan came running out and said, you've got to pay. I was like, you're such a bitch.

Like, we're your friends. I gave you a free slice and I gave everyone free coffees, but you denied a free coffee. I was like, you're such a bitch. Like, we're your friends. I gave you a free slice and I gave everyone free coffees, but you denied a free coffee. So that was your one time. Well, yeah, but I shouldn't have to pay for my lunch. I worked. Worked.

Well, it's very easy. Let's just call it over. But yesterday after the show, we took Fletcher's love of conversations with strangers. You don't like this either. Oh, God, no. Yeah. I mean, for three of us

that work in radio and talk non-stop all morning, it's, I don't know, it's just different. I don't like it, but I can do it if I needed to. Whereas you... Well, if I can avoid

talking to people, it's just awkward. I don't know what to say. Yeah. So I was mic'd up and sent across to a busy, kind of outside the busy cafe across the road

from work to see if you could get conversation going with any strangers. And the first one, because it was real hard because people were walking past

but they looked busy so I just let them keep walking. The video is at ZM Online. You can see the video of how awkward this was but the first person I found was

a construction worker who'd just let a truck out of the cones and then was re-coning it back up. Hi. what's being built here? So you'd have an apartment but also people stay in a hotel, that's weird. I think actually he liked talking to me because it was a little break from his cones. Hey, how are you? Yeah, good day for it. Guys, this sucks. I hate talking to people.

And they all look so busy and angry. Hi there, how are you? What is this slice? Oh, is it too early to have that? No, no, neither. I don't think so. Can I just get a piccolo, please? Oh, those donuts look great, don't they? Oh, you guys go go I'm just waiting

yeah cool nice weather hey oh yeah they're gone people are just confusing and hard I don't think that

really it doesn't it was edited down it really doesn't show the painstaking silence gaps was it

we were there about 20 minutes right watching you across the road. The weirdest part was you'd be looking at people when they were walking towards you, but I'm going to talk to them and then they'd get two metres away and you'd just look straight down. I didn't want to make eye contact.

Oh, come on, I'm not alone here. It's hard to talk to a sister. No, no, I'd like to talk to a stranger. You either can or you can't. My phone's great. But also you were standing there because you had the earpiece. You were talking to us, but it just looks like you're talking to yourself. Yeah, there was that too. Some people crossed the road because they thought I was crazy.

Yeah, so there was that. Anyway, it's all on the video, ZM Online. That's ticked off the box. Done. We can get this silly thing out of the way. Fletchvorna Megan, the podcast, ZM. Well, a study has shown that Australians in committed relationships

are forking out a collective $1.6 billion a year on sneaky purchases behind their partner's back. Now, so I don't have the New Zealand statistics, but, you know, we're very similar. We're neighbours. Something billion dollars a year.

So that works out that 2.7 million Aussies are averaging $588 a month on purchases behind their partner's back. Oh, no, I'm not that bad. $588. That's a lot. A month. A month. Yep.

But is that averaged out? It's averaged. Could you do like one big $3,000 spend and that'll get you done for half a year? Sure. Okay. Sure. Who's getting away with spending $3,000 behind your partner's back? I'm imagining they find out at some stage, right?

Well, like spending it behind their back would be like buying something, coming home and being like, I bought this thing. And they're like, oh, because there was no like chat. Yeah, basically. Most of the splurges are on innocent items like clothing, shoes and snack food. Others are like gambling, alcohol, cigarettes, adult entertainment, and narcotics.

I didn't even think about that. Sex, drugs, and rock and roll. And when it comes to X-rated secrets, like spending on adult entertainment, whatever that may be, showies or whatever. Showies! Men are the biggest culprits. Males are more likely to cover

up spending on adult entertainment while women were most likely to conceal clothing purchases. Now, 60% of the covert spending was with cash instead of plastic. So I guess it's easier to trace. Because didn't you do that sometimes?

No. It's easier with cash. No, remember when you go supermarket shopping, you get $20 out, and then they just say that you spent that much money at the supermarket, but you're pocketing the $20 and you make a little squirreled away pile.

And then am I letting your secret out totally on the radio? Mr. Toyboy's listening. It's time he wires up. Take it from an old dog, young fella. They pull this shit endlessly. Endlessly. Mr. Toyboy needs to see the supermarket dock it. No, because we save the environment. We don't prick

those out. Oh, really? Okay. If you were doing this, like skimming a little bit, but you were, say, running an establishment that had a pokies machine operation, you'd go to jail. Yeah. Oh yeah, completely. So you should actually go to jail, Megan,

for skimming from the joint account. They've broken it down 38% on clothing. This is secret spending behind the partner's back. Guilty foods, guilt foods, 32%. So what's that? On a diet together. Yeah, and you go to Macca's on the way home. Yeah, exactly. And not tell them. Gambling is sadly the way home. Go to Macca's on the way home, yeah, exactly.

And not tell them. Gambling is sadly 26% of the spending behind their partner's back. Shoes, 18. Megan, what was your picture I love how shoes

has its own category. Like the rest of these quite broad, but then you see how much Megan spends on shoes. So he went to the osteo yesterday

and made me wait in the car. He's like, it'll be 15 minutes. He was an hour. And so I was like, you left me alone too long and I bought some makeup online. It was free shipping, he's like, it'll be 15 minutes. He was an hour. And so I was like, you left me alone too long and I bought some makeup online. It was free shipping. I was like, you asked

for that. Pub sessions, they call it, and alcohol was 15%, cigarettes 14%, adult entertainment 10%, other 8%, and narcotics 5%. That's the breakdown of the secret spending. So I think it would be similar.

Who conducted this study? Australia and New Zealand. This study was done by a comparison site, finder.com.au. Who's comparing narcotics online? How do they know narcotics? And also, that's got trap written all over it. If you're filling out a survey and it's like,

have you bought any drugs without telling your partner? I'd be like, is this the place? Do you have to tell me if I ask? They do, they do. They definitely have to tell you. All right. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. I do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do. You know the old rhetorical question, how long is a piece of string?

Well, I have an answer. If the question is how long is a piece of string in a tennis racket? Oh, okay. 12 metres. And I didn't know this. Granted, I'd never thought about it. But I didn't know it's one single string. And a whole tennis racket.

Yeah, and it goes up, down, up, down, and they weave it around. Because have you never been to a sports store and seen... I've never seen a tennis racket being thread before. Is that why it's bad news when you break... One. Because it has to be completely rethreaded. Takes so long to redo it, right? Right.

Is there a machine that does it? It's 12 metres. 12 metres long. That's mind-blowing. One 12 metre long string. For a whole tennis racket. You think about how many times it goes,

again, I don't know much about tennis, but I know it goes up and down and side to side quite a few times. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But then down the bottom

it's not as side to side as long, is it? No, but in the middle it's long. It's long, yeah. And if you think of that it's 30 centimetres and it goes there and back.

There's 60 centimetres And then some of them are real big. Yeah. Like you get big ones, medium ones, small ones. The long ones would be more than 30 centimeters from top to bottom, wouldn't they? Yeah.

Yeah. That's quite amazing. Yeah, I know. I thought so too, thanks. I was like, that's weird. For a start, I didn't know that it was one piece. That's crazy to me. Did you just think they went across, tied it off? No, I thought maybe they did all the ups and then tied it off and then all the sideways and then tied it off.

Yeah, right. Okay. So then if like a string broke, like we were just saying, you don't have to replace the ups or the downs. But again, I've never even given it any thought. It's one of those games that I've like just played every now and again and I'm not that great at it, but it would be good to learn tennis. You don't like it?

You're not – why not? Because I'm just not very good at serving why is it boring I'd rather go like golf at least you could go for a walk yeah true

see some things I see I wouldn't watch tennis on TV I'll watch a tennis if it's like high end like finals

I won't watch all the junk basically this is my experience with all sports I'll watch it when it gets to a final and even then a highlights package would be preferable okay yeah i just want to be able to

take a shot of sport rather than drink the whole thing yeah and other things i learned when i was looking into these uh this tennis string fact is that there's um still tennis strings made of cow gut what yeah it's called a natural gut string. They're the best tennis strings. Oh, yeah. Is that what someone like Rafael Nadal would use? Yeah, many of the professional players. So, I mean, quandary, I put to you, you're a vegan,

but you're really good at tennis, and you're only just not quite as good as the other person, and you think it's to do with the fact that you're using this fully synthetic string. Well, a true vegan would use a synthetic string and just... Not a leather handle and not leather shoes. No. Yeah, but does that true vegan want to win the Wimbledon Open?

Yeah. What's more important? Veganism or Wimbledonism? Wimbledonism. Wimbledonism. And that big sponsorship deal you could sign if you win a major. But at what cost, you know? One cow.

No. Like your, everything you stood for. Half a cow. That was going to be killed anyway for steaks. Everything you stood for. Yes. I'm just, you know I eat meat. How much are your principles worth?

I think you should be asking producer Caitlin, who is currently vegetarian. What would you do, Caitlin? You needed to win. Wimbled in. Wimbled in. But then, you're a vegetarian, would you do, Caitlin? You needed to win. Wimbled in. Wimbled in. But then, you're a vegetarian,

not a vegan, right? She's only cheese away from vegan. She's cheese away from vegan. And a leather. No, I don't. I try not. That was good for you, I guess. I try not to do leather,

but sometimes people give me things that are leather or I've already got things that are leather. And so I'm trying to be sustainable, but sometimes people give me things that are leather or I've already got things that are leather. And so I'm trying to be sustainable with my fashion choices as well, so I can't chuck them out. It's really hard. I'm of the belief you're not going to stop. I can see the advantages.

Do whatever you want. There'll be some mockery along the way. But you might as well use every bit of the cow. It's no point being like, I'll wear leather but not eat meat, because to get that leather, you know what I'm saying? It's a byproduct of the cow. Like it's no point being like, I'll wear leather but not eat meat because to get that leather, you know what I'm saying? It's a byproduct. It's a byproduct.

We might as well use everything. Everything. Because then it's not as much of a waste. Or just don't play tennis. True, we were talking about tennis, weren't we? Here's an idea. Patter tennis. Let's make that big again.

Imagine patter tennis Wimbledon. Man, we should play patter tennis in adults. Because you remember when you were a kid, Pada tennis. Let's make that big again. Imagine Pada tennis Wimbledon. Man, we should play Pada tennis in adults. Yeah, Pada tennis. Because you remember when you were a kid, you were small, so it was like scaled. I have no idea what you're talking about. What's Pada tennis? Pada tennis was wooden bats. No, or plastic.

They were plastic waffle bats. They looked like a waffle press. No, like a... A fly swat. No, like one of those... A sexy paddle. No, Maori weapons. A patu. Yes, one of those. What are you saying? Pada. about ping pong. A sexy paddle. No, Maori weapons. Patu.

Yes, one of those. What are you saying? Pada. Pada tennis. It was Pada or Pada? Because he padded it over there. How do you not know what that is? And it was like a low net.

It was like a low net and a small... Ping pong. No, no, no. It was outside on concrete. That was... Man, that got ferocious. Yeah, it did. Right.

And then you could like frisbee the... Are kids still playing pada tennis? I don't know. But it's made out of plastic. That's not good for the environment. Oh, God. What are we meant to play? Nothing.

We can't play on jungle gyms? Well, they don't have the energy to play much sports, so there's a lot of... Okay. Fine! Stop your vegan laughing. Okay, and I told you, do whatever you want, but there'll be some light jabs and joking along the way.

Sure. You're all right. You chose to do that. That's fine. You do what you want to do. So today's fact of the day is A tennis racket is strung with One long piece of string

And it's 12 metres long Fact of the day Day, day, day, day I do do do do do Do do do do do Do do do do do Do do do do do Do do do do do Lime scooters.

Lime scooters. The lime scooter craze. And he was just going too fast, so I jumped out the way. Another day, another lime scooter story. But yes, new news. Yes, new news. It seems running out of things to throw into the Waikato River Hamilton has decided

to take lime scooters as well to pollute the beautiful river it'd be a good city to lime in it's a great city well there's hills

but yeah you know around the CBD and around there I mean you could get from Waikato Uni to the centre of town piece of cake on a lime

yeah like flat no major hills there are they going to do this sort of roll around? Speed restriction thing. You know what else would go bloody lovely actually?

What? It's just a lovely lime scoot safari down the side of the Waikato River on the bike path. Oh yeah, nice. That would be quite quaint. And many bridges

to lime across. Yeah, no good. I can't speak highly enough of the town. It's produced some real top notch humans too. Yourself included. Are you including yourself? I wouldn't include highly enough of the town. It's produced some real top-notch humans too. Yourself included. Are you including yourself in it?

I wouldn't include myself, but thank you. Thank you for that. But yeah, Lime scooters are going to be, they've been approved for a six-month trial. Okay. There was a councillor vote. I don't know how that anti-vaxxer, the one that doesn't want any fluoride in the water,

I don't know how she voted for it. Probably against. She probably just sent a ferry in with her little voting. She probably thinks they produce chemtrails. Yes. Oh, yeah. She probably wants them to be powered by crystals. But then, of course, you can only charge them once a month on the full moon.

So 10 votes to 2. Oh, brilliant. That Hamilton City Council approved a six-month trial of e-scooters, e-bikes and all that situation. So they get them. Now, apparently, they're getting quite a few scooters to start with as well. So it's not like a slowly introducing. They're jumping in the deep end. Brilliant.

Well, they're getting rid of all the Hutt ones, aren't they? Maybe they'll just take the Hutt Valley ones up to the Tron chuck them on the train get them there in no time. Sure. So... Great news for the Waikato. Great news for the Waikato. I've had to change my Lime route to work

because in downtown Auckland they've put a speed restriction of 15km and it doesn't seem like much but if there's any kind of hill you had a hill the other day and it's annoying. I've put on a bit of weight recently,

but not enough to be that embarrassed. Yeah. There's nothing worse than when the scooter just really grinds to a halt. It wasn't giving me anything. I was in that limited speed zone. Yeah. So it's like, no, we can only hit this at 15, and then just the speed dropped out.

It's just not, just a couple more, you just need a couple more Ks. I reckon 20 Ks. Yeah, but that's what they usually go about, 18, 19. Yeah, basically what I'm saying is I don't want a speed restriction on it.

ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. I just found a news article. Do you remember Bodie McBoatface? Correct, yes. Which has since... Changed its name. Well, no, because they won Bodie McBoatface,

but then they were like, it's not going to be called Bodie McBoatface. You guys are stupid. This is why we can't have anything nice. Did they call it the David Attenborough? Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's very deserving, though. And ever since anyone's ever tried to name a train or anything,

it's like McFace. Yeah, it's like, stop it. We don't do that anymore. Well, I just saw a headline. It's made a significant climate change discovery on its first mission. Bodie McBoatface. Well done, Bodie. Great. What's it discovered?

That we're absolutely rooting this planet in record time? I hope it's something disastrous. Is it that the permafrost is melting 70 years ahead of expectations? I saw that headline. That's sad, isn't it? Because we don't know what's in the permafrost. Well, so apparently Bodie McBoatface had an auto sub on it and that travelled 180 kilometres through mountainous

underwater valleys in Antarctica, measuring the temperature, saltiness and turbulence in the depths of the Southern Oceans. Wow. And its findings revealed how increasingly strong winds in the region are causing turbulence deep in the sea. Okay. And as a result, mixing warm water into the cold, and so things melt faster, basically.

Oh, it's not good news. Oh, it's not good news, is it? Also, I didn't expect it to go to Antarctic. I expected it to go to the Arctic. Oh, okay. Well, it can go wherever it wants. I thought it would opt for the easier. Yeah.

I mean, I just assume every scientist is like me and just wants the easiest way to do anything. But yeah, it's the RRS Sir David Annenborough, but people are still calling it Bodie McBoatface. Right, I was going to say, because if they had a serious news story come out like that and they're like, Bodie McBoatface has made a serious discovery, it doesn't have the same impact.

That was April 2017. So just over two years ago that that was, because I don't think they'd finished building it, had they? No, no, no, it was pre-launch. Yeah, so, yeah, its first mission has, I guess, shown our planet's impending doom. It's been a success for Bodaty and a harsh reminder for us. Yeah, pretty much, yeah.

That we're ruining everything.