ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Megan Podcast - June 21 2019

Episode Date: June 20, 2019

The last day of Fletch's 4 Before 40, Friday Flashback and when was your dog your best friend?See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

ZM. Head music lives here. Fletch Warner Megan, the podcast. Thanks, Ash. Good morning. Welcome to the show, Fletch Warner Megan. Some of us a little dusty this morning. Oh, so loud. There's your clue. Caitlin, producer Karen, great news.

Look, Uber Eats has left the building. I just saw Fletch's pin. Yeah, I know Fletch's pin. Look, Uber Eats has left the building. I just saw Fletcher's pin. Yeah, I know Fletcher's pin. Oh, okay. Don't be so close, please. It's Uber Eats. Our Uber Eats is coming. It's pretty cute.

We had to order some food. Kayla had to order like eight hash browns because she's a vegetarian. God, what a bully. No one's going to be angry about eight hash browns though when's a vegetarian. God, what a bully. No one's going to be angry about eight hash browns though when they come, are you Vaughan? No,

I might eat any hash browns, Caitlin. Oh. He's just had his porridge. I just had me porridge and me naans after a lovely seven hours sleep.

Some of us are responsible. Seven hours. Some of us take their job very seriously. Caitlin just burped of us take their job very seriously. Caitlin just burped and it was claustrophobic. You know when you think you look cute in a photo and you see it the next day, you're like

ooh, that's not cute. Alright, you lot, listen up. It's story time. Alright, I've got three news headlines. Interesting, quirky, odd, unusual news stories. Vaughan and Megan must pick one of the following three.

Headline one, shoplifter caught in trash compactor. Headline two, man makes good on promise. And headline three, E in e-cigarette for explosion. Those are the headlines. So the e-cigarette blew up in their face. Correct. And I've forgotten what you said the other one was. I like it when you're hungover because you hardly ever drink.

Two. Two. Man makes good on promise. Do you know what two was? Yes, two. I also don't have an excuse. Yeah, right. I just saw a balloon and I lost my train of thought.

This is actually a follow-up because we did speak about this. I think we did this story for Storytime several weeks ago. But a man who promised he would turn himself in if his wanted post on a police Facebook page got 15,000 likes. Oh, yes, yes, yes. Has made good on his promise. But didn't he raise it when it got to 15? He did.

Wasn't he like 30 now? 29,000. And, well, it has got past 29,000. And Jose Sims, 29, who was wanted for seven counts of failure to appear in court, has made good on his promise and will go in. He's turned himself in. Why did he choose $29,000? I don't know.

That's really annoying. He probably slowed down around $28,000, so he's like, well, I'm not going to reach $30,000. But did he want to turn himself in? Nothing makes sense. The thing about promoting your own wanted poster is it really gets your face out there, doesn't it? Yeah, it does. The City of Torrington Police posted a mugshot of someone else and then as an update said,

we're getting a lot of inquiries as to if Mr. Sims has turned himself in. Yet, as of now, he has not. We will update the post when he does. This is an old post. Anyway, blah, blah, blah. Long story short, he ended up coming in. Right. That's good stuff.

Good that a criminal stood by their word for a change. Oh, now it wants me to join up to the Hartford The Hartford Courant is what their newspaper's called. What's a courant? Do you mean current? No, C-O-U-R-A-N-T and then it's like

sign up, not interested. Pop up. Corrent. Definition. The Hartford Corrent. Represented as running. It's an adjective. A stupid name.

Heraldry. Oh, okay. So it's kind of like. The Times or the Herald or the Daily News like everyone else does. Or a standard or I'm out of them. Newspaper. Sure. Oh, yeah.

Okay. So the other use of it is no longer used for running, et cetera. It's only used for newspaper. Right. Which is one of its other ones. ZM's Fletch Warner Megan, the podcast. Five seconds of summer on ZM. Shush.

It's 15 past six. Australia. I really 15 past six. Australia in and of themselves, I really like this idea, although I think it can get pretty gross pretty quick. Australia are floating the notion of see-through wheelie bins. Transparent wheelie bins.

So when you put your rubbish out, if you're putting your plastics in what will end up being in landfill, not recycling them, as per the Geneva Convention of Recycling, 1914, signed in Versailles, you will be shamed by your neighbours. They can see it. Good. Wait, so wouldn't that make sense to be rubbish bins wheelie?

Rubbish bins see-through? Did you say recycle bins? No, wheelie bins. Oh, wheelie bins. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Do both? I think you're bins. Oh, wheelie bins. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Do both? I think you're just talking about just the recycling bins. No, no, no, no.

It's really out for recycling. And them as well, because then you'll be able to see if people are dumping non-recyclables in the recyclables. That's a great idea. Like you mentioned, that's going to get dirty. Oh, it's going to get manky. It's going to get manky real quick. Unless you put a plastic liner in.

That'll sort it out. Oh, like a big plastic bag. Yeah, people are just going to put like a black bin liner in there so you can't see. Or just paint them. Or just paint it, yeah. But then you'll be shamed. True. Yeah, but or you could paint it, yeah.

Yeah, faceyourwaist.com. So Perth is where they're trialling this. And if you know any New Zealanders that have ever lived in Perth, it's always the highest quality of person, isn't it? They really love the environment. They didn't move to Australia to be part of the coal mining industry, that's for sure. So well known for their love of the environment over there.

Yeah. But they're going to give it a go. Would this catch either of you two out? Because we've just got... No, not like recycle shaming, but everyone's going to see how many bottles of wine you've got in there and how much sales Pete...

Oh, you're not supposed to put those in recycling, are you? What? Pizza boxes. No, no. What are you supposed to do with those? Burn them? Yeah. Yeah.

I think so. To make the ozone hole bigger. Cardboard doesn't affect the ozone hole. And that's shrunk in a wee bit. So, like, we've fixed the plastic. Yeah, but I don't know... Yeah. It's like the ozone hole. And that's shrunken a wee bit. So like we've fixed the plastic. Yeah, but I don't know. Yeah. It's like the ozone hole has dropped a couple of dress sizes

and it's rewarding itself. Yeah. With a pizza box. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. Now I will tell you as I give you these statistics, these statistics have been released as part of a new product. So I'm always a bit like, okay.

I'm always like, okay. When I hear that it's been, statistics have been done by someone who's about to release a product, that the statistics will indeed help. Otherwise you wouldn't print them, would you? Bingo. So this is apparently

nearly four in 10 young adults aren't wearing deodorant. Multiple reasons. Some don't think they need it. Now, they're most likely the people who do. Yeah. In my limited experience. The other people don't like the fact that,

you know, there's always been the what's in this deodorant that we rub straight on our skin that's stopping us sweat. Yeah. I like to just live in ignorant bliss, I think. Yeah. So 40% of 18 to 24-year-olds, they can go like a month without putting on a deodorant, an antiperspirant deodorant.

Really? This doesn't include perfume. And maybe that's also a thing of it as well, is if you drown yourself in Rexona, it's going to make your dupe not quite stand out quite as much. Or whatever you're wearing on your wrists and behind your ears. Is there an alternative that you've read? Because I knew this person who would, and you're going to hate this,

it was a salt crystal or something. What, they'd rub a crystal on your underarm? Yeah. Yeah, I've heard that you can do that. Some kind of, well, there are natural deodorants. Yeah. Salts. Is that what it is?

I think it is like a salty, crystal-y sitch. Really? Yeah. Right. Would it wear down over time? Yeah, but it takes a while, I think. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay.

Well, there might be something in that. I don't know. I just wouldn't want to take the risk of running into someone and you're a bit stinky. I get sweaty. It gets hot. I get quite visually sweaty. Like, I get a sweat pit. Real quick. I get sweaty. It's hot. I get quite visually sweaty. Like I get a sweat pit real quick. Sweaty pits.

Sweaty pits. Yeah, right. Real quick. So this product. What's the product? And Justin Bieber's teamed up with them. This is, what? That's a weird combo.

So Justin Bieber's teamed up with Schmitz Naturals to release a product called Here and Now and it is a vegan plant-based deodorant. I think you can get Justin Bieber on that. Pardon me? Are all the things for him to do a collab?

No, no, he's on board. Really? He's on board. Yeah, he's... Well, you've met him and been in close proximity. He was very, very, very nice. Did he smell nice? You don't remember what he smelled like? A little bit of ciggies.

Like a little bit of ciggies. Yeah, right. Like he'd had one, but he'd not been like standing in it. Yeah. He'd had it in a windy area. A guy on a plane sat next to me the other day in the middle seat, and he stunk of ciggies. I was like, how do you not know?

It's used to the smell, I guess. It's weird when you don't have, because like none of my close friends smoke. Yeah. So, you know, I'm not like around it or used to it. They're like, these bloody balloons. I keep on getting, it's floating down in front of me. Balloons in studio. Be free.

Yeah, nobody, I'm close with smokes, but then you, when you're like next to someone who does, it's really something, isn't it? But whatever, like because you buy those smokes and you smoke them and heaps of that tax goes to the health system. Like sure, to look after you when you're all like dying and stuff, but there's a little bit left over. Yeah.

I mean, you know, free world, do what you want, but at least spray some smelly. Just when you die of a smoking related illness make it like real quick not drawn out because that gets expensive and we want to use

the money you paid in tax or the smokes for other stuff something else ZM's Fletch Warner Megan the podcast had an awards ceremony last night

and it was another timely reminder of how easy men have it at these sorts of formal functions. I literally, without a word of a lie, wore the same clothes all day and then just put a blazer over top and drove back into town. I was just like, I cannot be bothered.

You could tell. Yeah, you could tell. But then no one really cared. No, Megan cared because yesterday, because you had a nice, what do you call it, a blouse dress. A dress. She had a blouse from Posty Plus. you had a nice, what do you call it, a blouse, dress. A dress? She had a blouse from Posty Plus. She had a stunning gown.

And Horne and I were joking about wearing pyjamas because, you know. Because you're lame. I 100% nearly wore a swan dry. Oh, Horne. Oh, Machada is the only reason I didn't. So thank her because I would have worn my lovely new blue swan dry. Megan said, do not even think about it. And so I wore, like, the suit, like, with the bow tie.

You looked lovely. Thank you. I did it for you. You tried to steal her thunder. I wanted her to have all the attention. Oh, bollocks. So it was during discussing this that we learnt in the lead up to last night that Caitlin had made a purchase, producer Caitlin had purchased.

What was the official name of it? I don't think they have an official name. Well, because it has an official name. You can't sell something without an official name. Gee bang a Spanx. No, I don't know. So it's a Spanx, but how does an ordinary Spanx work? Is it like a bike short?

Oh, you can get bike short ones. You can get like undie ones. That go up to under the burbage. Yeah. Right, so it goes that whole. This one went up to the burbage. But at the bottom, it was a G-string. Yeah.

So how is it attached? So it's a band around your waist. Yep. And then goes into undies, that's a G-string. That sounds like a primary school. And then from the band goes up. It's solid.

Yeah, it's solid. Sounds like a primary school wedgie. Doesn't it? It sounds absolutely uncomfortably horrible. With a sock. Yeah. I'd actually like to

give this item a TripAdvisor rating. Of? Zero. Right. So you wouldn't recommend visiting this landmark? No.

I thought it would be a great investment. Same, and I was so excited about wearing it until I had to sit down and then A touch and half. Yeah, I don't want to get too into the details, but I've got chafe like in that

place. But did you get the wrong size maybe? Did you go too tight? Like just as an idea. Right. Well, I don't know if I can send it back. No, they don't do returns on undies. No, well, not only that, because how did you get it off?

Well, I took it off. I didn't cut it. Oh, I thought you did cut it off. Oh, no. I was about to Actually Al Who works with us Lovely guy Dad He offered to cut it off

For me With keys With keys Yeah It's not opening a parcel Al And I thought that would be inappropriate But I did take it off Before the award ceremony started

Because I couldn't sit down. Wait, so you went to the toilet and you were in the cubicle and you had to get fully nude? Yeah, Danny was in there too. Of course. But what happened to them? Where did they go after you took them off? They went in my handbag. Oh, yeah.

One of my friends put them on her head at one stage. That wasn't very nice because I'd been wearing them. And no, they're still in my handbag, actually. But you won't be taking them out for a repeat wear. Well, I pay quite a bit of money for them. How much? Like, for whoever? Oh, that's...

That's actually quite cheap. Yeah, when women say quite a bit of money, I'm expecting it to be in the hundreds now. No, but she just lied. It was probably a hundred. How much really was it? I can't remember. Well, I've got a story

about women spending money. So. Should we do this now? We don't need to do this. Should we do this now? We don't have time. Okay. Well, we can do it later.

It's to do with, okay, so you remember, do you remember when Sade was telling me that her Cuba was a, well, she didn't tell me so much but she didn't tell me the whole truth

as to what day Cuba was. You thought it was a fruit and veggie store. You thought it was a fruit and veggie store. I thought it was a fruit and veggie store because there was enough spending to be like, she must have bought something for dinner at this place. Yeah. And she didn't tell me I was wrong. Yeah. So then I found out that it was a clothing store.

Yeah. Anyway, they heard about that story and they were like, this is a funny story and sent her a voucher. Right. Yesterday, she went in to spend the voucher. Yeah. And went up to the checkout. Yeah. And went to pay for voucher. Right. Yesterday, she went in to spend the voucher. Yeah. And went up to the checkout. Yeah. And went to pay for this thing.

Yeah. And it was $30 more than the voucher. Oh, yeah. Not a problem. Yeah. $30. But the girl there did something wrong. Yeah.

And charged her $150. Yeah. And took $30 off the voucher. Rather than using the $150 voucher. So now she's got to go back. This is a bad, like, I was like, great, you're getting a voucher, you can buy something, that's cool. But she didn't.

She spent $150 and now she's got to go back and she'll spend it more again. Well played, Dave Cooper. Well played. It'll be over $70. Of course it will be. Of course it will be. Of course it will be. Do you think that was their fault?

Oh, well, I think we were... Who's she like? Just take a little bit off. I think equal parties. I believe blame will be equally distributed. From the ZM think tank, this is the top six. There is an election next year, 2020. And, pardon me?

I'd just maybe take this time to say that our current Prime Minister, who will be in that election race, will be on the phone with us in an hour's time. I've got a bone to pick with her. Do you? As per usual. Okay. She can expect a Hosking-esque grilling on this. You say this.

You say this. There's something about your goats. And then I'm like, oh, hey. No. Oh, hey, girls. So next year, there's going to be those orange boxes in a lot more places. Because apparently, even though it's crazy if you do vote, obviously, and it's something that is at the front of your mind,

you see the lead up, you're like, how could anybody not be ready to vote come election day? Yeah. But for some people who are busy

and don't pay too much attention and then on the day they're like, it's election day, they struggle when it comes to, what are you doing there? What are you looking up? They struggle to vote on the day.

I'm just looking at a graph of early voting last election because that just, when you said that, I just feel like in 2017 there was so much early voting, and there was so many more places. And it was good, because you didn't feel that pressure to do it on Saturday.

Because they opened up a bit earlier than last time. And look at that graph. You've got to tell us what the colours mean, mate. A graph means nothing without data. Orange is what? Look at the big one. What is it? Orange is early voters in early voting for one. What is it? Orange is early voters. Yeah, and early voting for 2017. Okay, so to explain to people

at home, there's an undeniable trend that early voting was quite popular. In 10 days, I'd say it was more than half of what it was in the election in 2014. Yeah, right. And then the one before that. So early and special votes obviously. So where to go?

Well, they want to make it easier um because apparently 19 000 people turned up to vote on the day and weren't actually enrolled oh are you kidding they sent out like 7 000 emails those ads with the annoying orange guys have you ever heard of jet have you been wrong tomorrow what do they do with those 10 things that arrive in the postbox i don't know their names on it and they're like hey buddy you're not enrolled and you're like hey buddy you're not enrolled and you're like how do you know this

what else do you know little iron man the problem when you enroll is you get on the list for jury duty I've still never been asked never and I've got out of it

three times I'm actually keen to do it but it's just it doesn't work with work they never need you there before nine o'clock like it actually works perfectly with work

okay well I'm up my thoughts literally just up the road for me they never need you there before nine o'clock. Like, it actually works perfectly with work. Okay. Well, I'm up. My court's literally just up the road from here. We could make it there. I know, I could literally pop next door, but I don't think they'd let you on being in the media, on a jury. I would hit the roof if they didn't.

Like, I don't want to do it. It's like one of those things you don't want to do until someone tells you you can't, and then you're like, actually, I will. I will. I will do it. But they're going to put voting boxes in a whole lot of different places.

Supermarkets, for one. That's a good idea because we all go to the supermarket, don't we? That's so good. Oh, is that an actual thing or is that what you said? No, no, no, no.

That's an actual thing. That's a joke. That's a great idea. That's not one of the joke ones. Do you know, I ran into a woman lately who her partner had been listening

to the top six for ages and thought every day was like factual six factual things. Oh, bless. She had to explain to him that it wasn't and apparently

it was quite heartbroken. Okay. Really sorry about that. I didn't catch your name but you've probably forgotten it because you're not that smart. But the top six places

you'll be able to cast a vote in 2020. Number six. Yep. Your bed. Like you'll wake up and there'll be able to cast a vote in 2020. Number six. Yep. Your bed. Like you'll wake up and there'll be a government representative there being like, hello, who would you like to vote for? Seems invasive.

And they just go door to door. They're going to carry your house. Right. It's the other government. Okay. It's all right. And if you don't vote, they start rifling through your under drawer. You're like, I don't want to vote.

And you're like, well, you asked for it then. Yeah. You don't know which one's my under drawer. Is're like, I don't want to vote. And you're like, well, you asked for it then. Yeah. You don't know which one's my undie drawer. Is it the top drawer? What do you mean? It's always the top drawer. It's always the top drawer. And the one beside it's the sock drawer.

Yeah. Or they coexist. Socks and undies. Yeah, I've got my top drawer with socks and undies. Socks on the left. Undies on the left. Undies on the left, me too. Socks on the right.

No, I've had mine in separate drawers in the past, but at the moment they're all just like pushed into this hole in the cupboard because we haven't got round to a wardrobe yet. Number five on the list of the top six places you'd be able to cast your vote in 2020 on your television. How good would that be? Smart TVs, log on. And like, you know, most remotes now have the colours on them.

Red, labour, blue, national, green, the greens, most remotes now have the colours on them. Yeah. Red. Yeah. Labour. Blue. National. Green. The greens. Yep. Yellow. Oh, yuck. Act.

Yeah, yuck. But I mean, what are you, like, the black button for New Zealand First? Yeah. I don't know. And purple. Peter Dunn. Bring back Dunny. Oh, RIP, Dunny.

Bring back Dunny. RIP. He always loved to leave the line, didn't he? No, he didn't. I think he was all about it until he had a bad one. And then he was like... No, he got rid of them, didn't he? He was like...

You know what, guys? I think we got rid of the League of Wives. It's not bad. He was so serious, didn't he? Great head of hair, though. Great hair. Missed the hair. Number four on the list of the top six places

you'd be able to cast your vote in 2020. A lotto kiosk. Do you think that would encourage gambling though? I'll have a triple dip and chuck 20 on the Prime Minister. Number three on the list of the top six places you'd be able to cast your vote in 2020. When you're driving, you can toot for who you want to vote for. It's like two toots. Labour.

Yeah. Three toots. Mana. Four toots Labour Three toots Mana Four toots internet party And then if you're in your Mercedes Just one big long toot for National I mean we all know We kind of

We joined the dots Yeah Number two on the list of the top six places You'll be able to cast a vote in 2020 At the drive-thru when you're getting fast food Oh great Yeah And who would you like to vote for cast a vote in 2020 at the drive-thru when you're getting fast food. Oh, great. Yeah.

And who would you like to vote for this general election? That's the other person, because the person on the fast food place is always like, I'll be with you in a minute. Just wait. That's the speaker ahead, because he's real busy, so there's two speakers running. Okay. The speaker's running. Okay, and what would you like now? And then someone else comes on and they're like,

hello, just a representative of the New Zealand government here. Who would you like to vote for? And the number one place you will be able to cast your vote in 2020, the internet. I mean, that one's not even really a joke. That should probably be a priority by now, right? You'd think so. Like, I'm imagining there's options.

It's not like we get rid of the polling booths, but you can download an app. Yep. You have to like sign into it. What if Russia hacks it? Yeah, well, there you go. And then all of a sudden, actors win. Putin's. Putin.

The Putin party. The Putin party's won. Putin's. Putin. The Putin party. The Putin party's won Epsom. Yeah. Well, actually, that probably wouldn't be that out of... It might not. No, that would have been... I mean, if the National Party sits down

and has a cup of tea with the Russian candidate for Epsom, it'll happen. Yeah. It'll happen. That is today's Top 6. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast.

I want to tell you a cute story about a dog. Oh, God. This is so cute. Oh, my God. This is why dogs are the best. A dog has been credited with saving a woman's life. She is 63 years old. She crashed her car off the side of the road.

She spent three nights out in the open before she was rescued. But I can't hear because my headphones keep coming out. Why do your headphones keep coming out? I don't know. I keep thinking you're turning my microphone off. No, I'm here. No, I'm gone. No, I'm here.

Is it a problem with the connection? Look at your wonky plug. You've got to push your plug in properly. No. What kind of plug is that? Switch switch to these ones i know they're not nice it's really off putting okay i'm switching jesus this is why you've got to come you too much wine too fast yeah you don't see megan for 20 minutes and she's like i've had a bottle of wine. You're like, you are not a heavy drinker, my friend. I think we are on the road to disaster. No, they flick the other way around.

They're upside down. That way. That way. There you go. Jesus, it's like a Chinese finger trap. Is that better? Yeah. Oh, these sound bad.

Yeah, they're terrible. Start again. So, I'm going to tell you this real cute story. We're live, right? This isn't recorded. Yeah, it's live, Megan. I'm going to tell you This real cute story We're live right This isn't recorded Yeah it's live Megan I'm going to tell you This real cute story

About a dog Okay cool So this woman She's 63 years old She's from Masterton She crashed her car And she spent I see this

Yep Three nights Yep Just a quick recap It's a recap Previously on Megan's Rambles Alright This lady I don't know if I've told you guys About this lady Just a quick recap. Previously on Megan's Rambles. This lady, I don't know if I've told you guys about this lady.

She's 63 years old. So she dragged herself out of the driver's side window and she was hiding in a bush, or sheltered in a bush. And she reckons what kept her alive. It was serious injuries too, so she went down a 45 metre slope. She has a broken ankle, collarbone, crushed chest and sternum. Oh, goodness. Okay. And she credits her five-year-old border collie, Pat, for keeping her alive.

Keeping her company and keeping her warm, I guess. And it wouldn't have been warm either. Yeah. This is, you know. Cuddles from Pat would have kept her alive. Keeping her company and keeping her warm, I guess. And it wouldn't have been warm either. Yeah. This is, you know. Cuddles from Pat would have kept her warm. Could you imagine your stupid dog in a car crash? You'd go to cuddle up to it and it'd just be like. It probably would fly through the window.

Oh, Leo. He would keep me warm. No, he wouldn't. There's not enough of him. He'd need you to keep him warm. No, there's not enough of him to keep me warm. No, he wouldn't. There's not enough of him. He'd need you to keep him warm. No, there's not enough of him to keep you warm. Well, he'd try his hardest. Well, no, because he'd start shivering probably because he didn't have his jacket.

Border Collies, if I was to be, I've always quite had a soft spot for Border Collies. I reckon they're a cool dog. Yeah. I reckon they'd be about the right dog for a three day cuddle. Right, okay. Because yeah, we've got a, what's our, Groodle? It's a golden retriever cross of the poodle. Oh yeah. That's a warm dog.

Yeah, he's like a blanket. Very warm dog. Yeah, like a rug. Yeah. But, I don't know, he's a bit silly. But we bought a collie, seemed a bit brainier. So they'd know that you were cuddling for. Ralphie would get distracted and run away and chase a duck.

Yeah, and then I'd just never see him again. Just chase a duck and disappear. So after Pat kept his owner warm for three days, I'd love to know

on 0800-DRAWLZM... DRAWL. You could have just let me have that. I'm such a dick. When was your dog your best friend? Yes. Like, when did your dog save your day?

Save you. I'm not imagining we're going to hear too many people who rolled their car multiple times. No, they don't. I just saw a picture of the car. You don't know. Yeah, it was quite a serious crash, wasn't it? Like, Carrie's car. I believe the mechanical term for that is rooted.

Okay. That's real bad. She landed in For that is rooted Okay That's real bad She landed in a creek too That's why we're like Oh my god Yeah no it's pretty serious Like That's my

Cause you remember that ad Where that guy was driving And he flipped into the creek And he was stuck And then it started raining Oh yeah That was a traumatic watch Yeah

That ad For an ad And that had always freaked me out Ever since That you'd flip into a drain And then it would start raining Okay well maybe your dog Was there when you needed

You know It was just You had a little raining. Okay, well, maybe your dog was there when you needed it, you know? It was just that you had a little vulnerable emotional moment and there was your dog. When was your dog your best friend? Dogs, famously, you know, they're very good at reading humans and what we need from them.

Whereas cats are just like, nah. Well, there was research this week that the puppy dog eyes is totally a thing. Yeah, right. Because we would have... That evolved from wolves. Yeah, we would have favoured the dogs that had a puppy dog eye aspect to it,

which meant then we bred from them because they were our favourites, so it's becoming more and more prevalent. Right. Okay, well, 0800-DARLESS-AT-HEM, 9696, when was your dog... Your best friend. Gosh, I didn't expect this to be so intense.

So, Megan, you found a cute, well, I guess, a lovely story about a woman who had a car accident and her dog kept her warm, stayed with her for three days until she was rescued. This happened in Masterton. Yeah. So I would love to know when your dog was your best friend. And, oh my God.

Emotions. This is Marley and me level stuff. Emotions. That we're hearing from. We don't deserve dogs, apparently. I'm just going to play this little song in the background. Oh, Jesus. For those that don't know, this is a Sarah McLachlan song.

Yeah. I felt my blood, like, go cold. It did okay, but then it was on an ad for the American SBCA about dogs. Oh, yeah. And so now it's, like like super, it's poignant. Poignant. Poignant. Poignant.

All right. Here we go. I honestly expected this to be like cute, but it's actually like some of these are really sad. Yeah. I had a miscarriage and when I came home from the hospital, my foxy sat on my knee touching my face with his paws and whimpering in sympathy.

Didn't leave my side for days Oh my god I know guys I wasn't expected to be destroyed on a Friday Which is totally happening How are you feeling in your vulnerable state? I don't know if I can do this Strap in baby

I might leave Today or this specifically? This year My dog My dog Slept on my sick mum's bed when she was about to pass away. He came into the lounge and sat and bowed his head

and we went in and mum had passed away. Oh my God. Oh my God. Went through a breakup recently and was crying on the living room floor but old mate Max, the bulldog, came and slobbered all over my face and licked away my God. Went through a breakup recently and was crying on the living room floor, but old mate Max, the bulldog, came and slobbered all over my face and licked away my tears. Absolutely disgusting, but it's exactly what I needed.

I believe Bri is on the phone. That was your dog, Bri? That was, yeah. That was old Max, yeah. Yes. How do they know? They're so intuitive, aren't they, to our feelings and what we need? He was, but it also wasn't very, like, hidden,

the fact that I was absolutely bawling my eyes out. So do you think he was licking your tears more for the salt required? You hadn't filled up his bowl, maybe, his water bowl. Possibly, possibly. I mean, I hadn't moved for a whole day, so. Oh. But he was there for you. He was.

He was. And, yeah, bulldogs are super slobbery, so it was absolutely horrendous. Bri, thanks for your call. Rachel, when was your dog your best friend? Oh, g'day. Yeah, I got salmonella really bad and was stuck on the toilet vomiting my guts out and my dog would just come and sit right next to me and just keep nudging me when I was passing out

a little bit. He'd just make sure I was all good. No, I wouldn't. No human would do that. No. I'll just leave you to it. The fiance didn't want a bar of me so that was the thing that looked after me. What kind of dog was it?

He's a hundred way across so not little and it was the quietest looked after me. What kind of dog was it? He's 100 way across, so not little. And it was the quietest I've ever seen him. Beautiful. Even the New Zealand farm dogs, stepping up, stepping up with the emotion. Rachel, Jen, when was your dog your best friend? I've got tears running down my face. I know. I've barely scratched the surface of some of the text messages we've got. It's intense.

Yeah, it is. I went into preterm labour, but the day before, my dog, like, she got really clingy. She'd actually climbed, she's a whippet cross, so she's not small, actually climbed on top of me. But we also have a black lab that was just clingy as they just sit right next to me or on top of me, but we also have a black lab that was just clingy as they just sit right next to me or on top of me. And then this was at 29 weeks. Yeah, then I ended up in the hospital from then till 33 weeks when she came. So you think that the day before it happened, the dogs knew something was up? Yeah, she was at the start, she was sitting by the ranch platter and just had her head resting and just staring at me nonstop. And they're outside dogs.

And I said, come here. And she actually climbed on top of me and sat around me and like my baby, you know, obviously my tummy and just snuggled up to me. Wow. Yeah, it was pretty intense. Yeah, how do they? Jen, thanks you, Cor. Sorry.

Oh, can I add too? Yes. I also had, at my old job, I had an office cat. And on the same day, he would actually climb on top of my chest. And he was actually sitting on top of me. They knew. How do they know? Maybe they could, because dogs, I remember Mark Vitti, the dog trainer, said dogs, the

sense of smell is something we can't even begin to comprehend. Yeah, right. Like, they'll be able to know exactly where you went like eight hours after you went there. That's probably why the police use them. I thought it was an intimidation tactic. I think you could send some text messages and

it's wow. Somebody said our family's German shepherd picked up dad's depression way before anybody else did, even before dad. He just one day started following dad everywhere. And wouldn't let him out of his sight. Places like on the tractor,

down the farm, everywhere. Dad said later on when he felt strong enough to tell us all that he'd been suffering depression that the dog knew. The way that the dog looked at him and the day he started really feeling it, the dog was like by his side Wow

Yeah And he said when that dog died Dad was absolutely destroyed I've never seen my dad Being so sad about anything Some other text messages in Somebody said My husband at the moment

Is Terminally ill And He has some really rough days And he can always rely on the dogs They'll sit by him all day My husband at the moment is terminally ill. Oh, my God. And he has some really rough days. And he can always rely on the dogs. They'll sit by him all day. Won't leave his side.

We'll just sit there. Yeah. Somebody said one day, my nana was sick. One day, her dog turned up at our house. We don't live that close to nana. And sat by the door looking through the window. And everyone was like, something's wrong. And we weren't running. close to Nana and sat by the door looking through the window and everyone was like something's wrong and we weren't running

and Nana had passed away and the dog had come to tell us and it could have been a couple of days because Nana was quite independent. I don't know if we need this in our vulnerable state board. It was a big night last night.

But I didn't expect I thought it was going to be like I thought it was going to be like. I thought it was going to be cute. And it's just absolutely hit. Wow. Yeah, we thought this was going to be light, guys. I'm sorry if this has really spun you Friday. Well, Megan's upset, girl.

Give your dog a scratch. God, I think back to cats and they just don't scratch. They don't, nah. We should do a phone-a-next on when was your cat a total a-hole. Good on us. Think back to cats and they just don't scare. They don't. Nah. You're sick. We should do a phone-a-next-a on when was your cat a total a-hole. Also, just quickly, an apology to tradies as well. Oh, my gosh. Yeah, we've upset some tradies.

Like, that was a lot, that last little session there, guys, emotionally. About dogs. About dogs. And we heard from so many tradies just saying like this isn't good I'm trying to set up set up for the day

and I'm crying I don't want anybody having scaffolding falling on them because the tradie's crying while he's setting up the scaffolding I don't want any of that

so right apologies apologies so I'd just imagine someone's trying to you know like someone's frustratingly

trying to clip the battery pack into the DeWalt drill. And they're just like, just go ahead, bloody hell. Someone's like, you're crying, Kev. The bloody drill. It's the bloody who didn't put the battery pack on the charger. I've got a DeWalt drill.

Me too. Fancy. How often do you use it? Actually, the other weekend, a friend borrowed it. I was like, you should get it. And my ladder. I've got a ladder too. What? We've talked about this. When you're away, was like, yes, you can. And my ladder. I've got a ladder, too. What?

We've talked about this. When you're away, Megan, it's in the wardrobe. A full ladder. It folds down. It goes tick, tick, tick. Oh, a telescopic ladder. Yeah, it's the best, mate. If you even need a ladder, yeah, mate, yep.

No, I've got a ladder. You need to use it. Mate, mate, mate. Mate, I've got a ladder. Mate, have you made it? I've got my own ladder. I'm just saying, mate, if you need two ladders, I've got one. Yeah, all right, mate.

Yeah. That's actually good. I've got some tangents to cut. I need a ladder. Put a bit of wood between it.ders, I've got one. Yeah, all right, mate. That's actually good. I've got some changes to cut. I need a ladder. Put a bit of wood between it. Oh, you've got one of those. Is that safe? Oh, nah.

That should be right, mate. But yeah. It's not like I'm up there using it. Work safe. It's not like I'm up there using something that could kill me if I fall on it. Exactly, yeah. So nah, she'll be right. I don't want to talk about what we're going to talk about.

I think we've talked enough. How are we going time-wise? What's expected of us for the remaining half hour of this hour? I'm all for that. Okay, good. Moving on. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. God, it was a big night last night.

Megan had a whole bottle of, what was it, shardy and 10 minutes? No, it was salve. It wasn't 10 minutes. She straw-peated a whole bottle of salve. What? Straw-peated? No, it was Sav. It wasn't 10 minutes. She straw-pedoed a whole bottle of Sav. What? Straw-pedoed? Straw-pedoed. Oh, straw-pedoed.

So you put a straw in it so air can get in it and then you give it the old Vortec and up she goes. God, you're so Hamilton. Shut up. The hardest part about straw-pedoing a whole bottle of wine is finding a straw long enough. Did you ever see the Prime Minister straw-pedo when you were at school with her?

No. No? She was very responsible. All right, well, she's on the show with us in 12 minutes. Yep, 12 minutes. I saw she was coming up

in a bit before I... Yeah. Play this thing. Four before 40. Guys, don't mention the age again. It's the last show on air before the big birthday comes Sunday. Monday, you'll mention the age again. It's the last show on air before the big birthday comes Sunday.

Monday you'll be older. Thanks. Thanks for explaining how age works, Megan. So we've been working our way through things Fletch needs to do before the big birthday. Very well travelled. Very well experienced. Yep, okay. And life has ticked off a lot of things.

But there's a few things that he hasn't done. We've put him to work at Megan's cafe. Didn't last. Didn't like it. I got fired from that. Yeah. We made him talk to strangers, and that didn't go well either.

Yeah, sorry. Jesus Christ. That's a good little squirt of the day. I'm just... Morning, I don't feel well. I'm just fluffed. Bourne's top disgust. You're moments away from a booze pose.

Cut it out. That is disgusting. You're a cuckold. I am... Oh, my God. I'm glad. Are you sick inside? A little bit.

But, um... So what else have we done? Strangers, work. Children. Children. I had to hold babies and I had to hold twins. I loved that. Now, today we're dealing with his emotions. Oh, work. Children. Children. I had to hold babies and I had twins. I loved that. Now, today we're dealing with his emotions.

Oh, God. Okay. He's never really expressed his emotions. In all the years I've known you, 15 years, I think the first time we properly hugged was when you were about to go to the climb there for three months and I thought I might never see you again. And we had never hugged before then. I don't think so.

Right, okay. We've hugged a couple of times since. Our hugs are awkward as well. Fletch does this thing where we're going for a hug and just before he does that, he decides he doesn't really want to do it. And so you hug him and you feel him start to move away. It's an unusual situation.

The best part is when strangers want to hug him. So if you ever see him in public, ask for a hug. Give him a hug. Because sometimes I don't know if people want a handshake or a hug and then they come in or they, I don't know. It's hard, isn't it? But one thing about emotions, it's not all physical. There's some words out there.

Yeah. And I've never heard you say I love you to your mum. And your mum and your mum joins us on the phone now good morning Bev good morning Vaughn now

this has happened when we've no member and when I do Christmas cards I'm always like love Carl that's very formal very formal well we know

that you know we know we love each other we don't need to say it all the time sometimes it needs to be said and all the years I've never when we've seen your parents, I often hug your mum before you do.

I always give mum a hug at the airport. Yeah. Don't I? Mum. Mostly. Mostly, yeah. Mostly. Does it have enough oomph, Bev, when he gives you a hug?

Does it have enough oomph? Yeah, we're kind of not that sort of family. Yeah, see, that's why. You're wondering where I get it from. Here it is. That's kind of the vibe. We're up in a family that wasn't very affectionate. Like lovey-huggy.

Yeah. Yeah. Demonstrative. That's a big word. Well, like some people drop their kids off at school and kiss them on the lips and kiss them. That's weird, isn't it? Would you ever do that? Yeah. Yeah, you school and kiss them on the lips and kiss them. That's weird, isn't it? Would you ever do that?

Yeah. Yeah, you know I kiss family on the lips. We're very affectionate. It's weird, isn't it, Mum? We're naked and affectionate. They're nudists. So I was thinking this morning, before the big birthday, we hear the words. We hear them vocalised.

Fletch tells his mum. Well, this is a private moment. Okay. Mum, I love you. No! No, don't accept that, Bev. That wasn't... You rolled your eyes when you said it. No, I love you, Mum. You had your arms crossed. Your body language was, like, closed off.

This is a scene. You rolled your eyes as you said, Mum, I love you. Carl, I love you too. Now, just before my big birthday, because I was the first born, was I an accident? No. Oh, that's official. That's good to know.

You don't need to be a mistake to be an accident. You don't need to be an accident to be a mistake. It all happened so quickly, like first try. We don't need to be a mistake to be an accident. You don't need to be an accident to be a mistake. It all happened so quickly, like first try. We don't need to know how. We don't need to know how. Let the woman speak. We want to know the story of conception. We don't need the details.

Okay, well, it's lovely talking, Mum. Love you. Goodbye. Okay, goodbye, Carl. Do you think we've got to get the Prime Minister on? Anything you want us to pass on to the Prime Minister? Oh, she's doing a good job. She's doing a good job.

Mum and Dad love her. They're big fans. Dad's actually got a big cardboard cutout of Jacinda. He's a big fan. How does that make you feel, Bev, with the cardboard cutout of Jacinda? I'm over the cardboard cutout. It's in Dad's music listing room. It's his.

Yeah, his man cave. Yeah, his man cave. We'll be a bit more worried about that. It's good. All right. Thanks, Mum. See ya. Okay.

Bye. See ya. Love you. There we go. All right. Yeah, all right. ZM's Fletch Warner Megan, the podcast. Megan's just looking for a Friday flashback to kick off Friday Jams at 8 o'clock.

Yeah, I want one to celebrate Fletch's coming of age as well. Yeah. Puberty. It's a hell of a ride straight through. We're just now collectively, we're stalling for time. Waiting for the Prime Minister to call us. She probably heard I've got a bone straight in. We're just now, collectively, we're stalling for time. Waiting for the Prime Minister to call us. She probably heard

I've got a bone to pick. Now, Producer Caitlin, this is not what we all need in our hunger for state. No, I know. So,

I don't know if I can really hurry. Are you supposed to call her? No, no, no. She calls us because, remember, they didn't trust me

with their number or something. Well, no, because of that time you kept texting Bowdoin Barrett. Yeah. She's heard about that. She heard about that. He's got a girlfriend. Or a wife. A wife now, is he married?

Yeah. So, stop texting. Oh, I did. I have. Yeah, good. Well, you've got a boyfriend now. I've got a boyfriend now. Fair enough.

Yeah. I mean, this is very annoying, isn't it? What else is happening? Well, I mean, she's running the country. I know. So, like, you can't really... Still not happening. Still not happening.

Still not happening. I'm going to play a song. But I just know as soon as we play another song. I know. As soon as we play a song, she'll be like, hello? You guys reading any good books? No. I am. What are you reading? You guys reading any good books? No. I am.

What are you reading? I'm reading The Tattoo of Auschwitz. I've heard that. That's a harrowing read, though. It is harrowing. I do need to take some time in between reading chapters. Do you think more books are bought at airports than any other place? Because you don't ever go to the mall to pick up a book.

Yeah, it's a good call. You pick up a book when you're on the way somewhere. Don't know some stats on that. Fleets for an Omega. Well, I don't know. to the mall to pick up a book. Yeah, it's a good call. You pick up a book when you're on the way somewhere. Don't know some stats on that. Fleets for an omega mole. I don't know. Maybe the young nets have... She's a no-show. So that means my vote's up for grabs next year.

Right. Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern is nowhere to be found. Yeah. So I'll let you know the bone. I had to pick with her. Okay. When Lorde came around and met the girls and hung out with the girls, and we made a little video about Lord babysitting the girls.

Yeah. Afterwards, well, you know that Ed Sheeran thing? We tried to hook up the Ed Sheeran Prime Minister Hangout. And then he came to New Zealand and they hung out. I was a bit like, ouch. I said, don't do that without me. Yeah. With like Lord, because I said about Jacinda and stuff,

I said, let's have a power barbecue. Yep. With like Lorde, because I said about Jacinda and stuff, I said, let's have a power barbecue. Right. So you hang on. Where I would be the third, obviously the most powerful part of the triangle. Right. But you wanted a barbecue with Lorde. With the Prime Minister and Lorde. And Lorde.

Right. Okay. Well, Lorde, here's a little known secret. Lorde loves barbecue. Does she? Loves it. Now, who did you say this to? The Prime Minister.

And Lorde at different times. At different times. Right. Okay. Yeah. And then they did you say this to? The Prime Minister. And Lorde. At different times. At different times, right. Okay. And then they went and had dinner without me at the weekend. I think maybe you should take the head of the head. I was free. I was open.

I was... Yeah, right. They didn't want you there, Vaughn. They would have invited you. They both have your number. Ouch. That's all I'll say to that one. Right, okay.

So that's a stinger. Yeah, that hurts. That's a stinger. Yeah, that hurts. That's a stinger. But oh well. We live and we learn. Yeah. You can't trust anybody. So your vote's still up for grabs at the next election?

Yeah. Yeah, right. Yeah, very much up for grabs. Get in touch. I'll sell my vote. No, is that illegal? Okay, I won't do that. It's highly illegal.

Is it highly illegal? Yeah. What a great podcast so far. Wouldn't you No, is that illegal? Okay, I won't do that. It's highly illegal. Is that highly illegal? Yeah. What a great podcast so far. Wouldn't you agree, Fletch? Yes. And it's all thanks to Spark. Get one gig of bonus data with the Spark U25 pack. Now, back to the podcast.

Thanks, Ash. Welcome to the show. Fletch Vaughan and Megan. It's two minutes past eight. We've got a big concert announcement in just a minute. Friday flashback also coming up, but we've got the Prime Minister on the phone who is celebrating her daughter's first birthday today. Totally forgiven for not calling. We were blaming Guy on Espiner. He can go on, can't he? Sometimes. I'm sorry. I was

totally distracted, so my apologies. That's absolutely fine. What's Niamh got for her birthday? So far, some books, a bit of clothes, and some delightful wrapping paper, which so far has taken most of her attention.

Right. What kind of books? Nursery rhyme books so far. Right. Okay. Just wondering. This is just early days. I just wonder if you were hitting her hard

with like My First Communist Manifesto or something. Come on. Jeepers. Sometimes I forget Sometimes I forget that you're Prime Minister And I've just Shade said to me the other day I think you've just got to remember she's Prime Minister now

I was like, I'll try But then I just forgot straight away Hey, now quick bone to pick You had dinner with Lorde on the weekend and I wasn't invited but I, like with the Ed Sheeran thing I feel like I'm being left out of a lot of important meetings that I kind of

could have been quite crucial on. What would you have bought to the Ed Sheeran table? Because there was baking required for that and I want to know if you can, could you have offered anything? I am almost at a professional level of buying food and making it look like I made it. Like taking it out of the pack and like roughing it up a bit,

maybe squirting a bit of some more icing on just to make it look a bit looser. And then people are like, oh, you've tried really hard here. For no baking for you. No, not for his baking, but you make a really mean cottage pie. I mean, he could have bought mains and then he had baking for dessert. Yeah. There's nothing like an afternoon tea, a little spot of cheese on the side of cottage pie. A really mincey cottage pie too.

A really mincey cottage pie. So you had to, don't like dodge the question, Prime Minister. You had dinner with Ella and I wasn't invited. You'll actually find that I have not commented at all on that because, you know, these stuff I talk about because it's, you know, my job and then other times when, you know, it's not your job. Prime Minister, it feels like you're stealing friends again.

She just didn't want you there. Why doesn't anyone want me anywhere? Am I annoying, guys? Please, be honest. No, don't be. I can't handle that on a Friday. I'm too fragile. No, I'm? Please be honest. No, don't be. I can't handle that on a Friday. I'm too fragile. No, I'm going to be honest.

We've known each other a lot of years. A lot of years. We even can have the kind of banter where we talk about people that we mutually disliked. We do. We do. To be fair, I'm only now talking about one particular teacher. Yeah.

And yet I don't believe I've been invited to your new lifestyle blog yet. Oh. I did when we were talking. I said, you guys are more than welcome anytime. I've got text message proof and I'm releasing it to the Herald. No, that sounds nice.

Sounds offhanded. It does. It's kind of the thing you do to close conversations. Yeah. Yeah. You said that was a national stronghold and you'll need to be in disguise to come out. And I said, we can sneak you in under the conversation. Yeah. You said that was a national stronghold and you'll need to be in disguise

to come out and I said we can sneak you in under the cover of darkness. Hey, so enjoy this tremendous anniversary of birth

for your daughter. The first birthday is a pretty special occasion. Yeah, any tips? You do birthdays really well. Any tips?

Leave it up to Sade. Okay. She's... So what, Leave it up to Sade. Okay. She's... So what, leave it up to Clark? The birthday queen. Is that what you're saying there? Otherwise it would be a first birthday with cottage pie. Cottage pie with candles in it is not to be scoffed at.

Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern, thank you so much for joining us. Thanks, guys. It's Megan's pick for Friday Flashback today This is actually the worst song you could possibly listen to when you're hungover Like we all are So I'm doing this for the people Okay But I also, even though we had a big night last night

We have to celebrate the fact that it is Fletchy's birthday on Sunday So it's a party and spin Excuse me, Vaughan, we're doing a radio show. Who are you texting? I am finding the text I sent when I said she's more than welcome anytime. Can you do that when we're done with this? Let it go, Vaughan.

You know, I might have been wrong. It's been known to happen once or twice. I stand by it. We talked about it, but there was no official invitation extended. I'll take care of this. Vaughan, we're talking about Fletchy's birthday. Sorry, this is my moment.

Your moment. I'm sorry for stealing that. Thank you. So, yeah, this is a party banger. It's from 2009. Okay. I'm going to turn it down, but I encourage you to turn it up. If you're not drunk, ladies and gentlemen, get ready to get drunked up.

Such a banger, usually. All right. Friday flashback. On to the end. You know what? Let's go. Yeah. All of the alcoholics.

Where you at? Let's go. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Uh-huh. Hey.

Hey. Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Let's go! When I walk in the club All eyes on me I'm with the party rock crew All drinks are free We like to rock

We love Patron We came to party rock Everybody is on Let's go! Shot, shot, shot, shot, shot Shot, shot, shot, shot, shot We came to party rock. Everybody is on. Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, We gonna get clubbed How about you? Bottoms up Let's go round soon Shots, shots, shots, shots, shots Shots, shots, shots, shots, shots

Shots, shots, shots, shots, shots Everybody! Shots, shots, shots, shots, shots Shots, shots, shots, shots, shots Shots, shots, shots, shots, shots Everybody! If you ain't getting drunk Get the butts out the club If you ain't taking shots Shots, shots, shots, shots, shots, shots, shots, shots, shots, shots, shots, shots, shots, shots, shots, shots, shots, shots, shots, shots, shots, shots, shots, shots, shots, shots, shots, shots, shots, shots, shots, shots, shots, shots, shots, shots, shots, shots, shots, shots, shots, shots, shots, shots, shots, shots, shots, shots, shots, shots, shots, shots, shots, shots, shots, shots, shots, shots, shots, shots, shots, shots, shots, shots, shots, shots, shots, shots, shots, shots, shots, shots, shots, shots, shots, shots, shots, shots, shots, shots, shots, shots, shots, shots, shots, shots, shots, shots, shots, shots, shots, shots, shots, shots, shots, shots, shots, shots, shots, shots, shots, shots, shots, shots, shots, shots, shots, shots, shots, shots, shots, shots, shots, shots, shots, shots, shots, shots, shots, shots, shots, shots, shots, shots, shots, shots, shots, shots, shots, shots, shots, shots, shots, shots, shots, shots, shots, shots, shots, shots, shots, shots, shots, shots, shots, shots, shots, shots, shots, shots, shots, shots, shots, shots, shots, shots, shots, shots, shots, shots, shots, shots, shots, shots, shots, shots, shots, shots, shots, shots, shots, shots, shots, shots, shots, shots, shots, shots, shots, shots, shots, shots, shots, shots, shots, shots, shots, shots, shots, shots, shots, shots, shots, shots, shots, shots, shots, shots, shots, shots, shots, shots, shots, shots, shots, shots, shots, shots, shots, shots, shots, shots, shots, shots, shots, shots, shots, shots, shots, shots, shots, shots Lemon drops Butter in your bowls Yellow shots

Kamikaze Rewind me What, what, what, what? Give me some jazz Shots, patrones on the rocks And I'm ready for some shots The women come around Every time I'm pouring shots

Their panties hit the ground Every time I give them shots So cuffs in the air, everybody let's take shots If you're feeling drunk, put your hands in the air And if you're trying to cut, put your hands in the air Now say I'm drunk up, I'm drunk up I'm trying to cut, I'm trying to cut Shots, drones on the rocks and I'm readyed up, I'm drunked up I'm trying to cut, I'm trying to cut, I'm trying to cut

Shots, drones on the rocks And I'm ready for some shots The women come around Every time I'm pouring shots Their panties hit the ground Every time I give them shots So close in the air Everybody let's take shots Let's go! It's LMFAO Little John Shots. It's Megan Speck for Friday Flashback on ZM. And we've got 90 minutes of non-stop jams coming up at 9 o'clock to kick off Friday Jams and your chance

to win $1,000 cash. We'll give you today's bonus banger after 8.30 this morning. So do you want some feedback? Yeah. Total banger, love it. Never heard this before

but my ears are bleeding. Me too. They obviously weren't in da club. No. In 09. Should I be concerned my three-year-old

is now singing shots, shots, shots, shots on the way to daycare No because it's about to be Not your problem for about seven to eight hours Cordial shots I hated the first 30 seconds But now I'm screaming shots, shots, shots, shots In my car

Someone said this is a throwback to the Outback dance floor On my 18th, absolute banger And I've just turned around and gone home for day drinking Brilliant That's all go It's a banger. Yeah. And I've just turned around and gone home for day drinking. Brilliant. Yeah. That's all go. Yeah.

A little bit of tenancy tribunal chat now. Great news if you're flatting. Yeah. You don't need to clean the carpets. The carpets can't be filthy. Right. You can't have spewed on the carpet on the day you're moving out and be like, see ya. But this basically comes to light again.

And it's important to know your rights as a tenant and a landlord. There is a tribunal. They have agreed upon laws of occupancy. But a landlord can't ask you to clean the carpet professionally cleaned, level cleaned. When you move out. When you move out. They always do that though. It has to be clean. Yeah.

It has to be reasonably clean and tidy. Now, if your carpet's been in a situation where it's significantly worse than when you moved in. Yeah. Outside of the usual wear and tear of carpet. Yeah. They can ask you to leave it in a state and that would often require a cleaning. But if you've been in your flat for say say, a year or two or six months, and you haven't spilled anything on the carpet,

you've vacuumed regularly, then you shouldn't have to get your carpet professionally cleaned when you move out. The word is that the house must be left in a reasonably clean and tidy state. Oh, well, there you go. This person in Christchurch was having their $840 bond withheld because the landlord said that you need to pay for the professional carpet cleaning, which is $90.

Okay. And until you do that, it won't happen. Or if you get the bond, you're not going to get the $90 because we're going to have to pay for it. Right. And this person's like, well, I've been here for ages. I've kept it clean. I've kept it really clean. Yeah.

Like, granted, the carpet hasn't been professionally cleaned but it's also not marked in any way. Yeah. But they were like nope. So she rang the Tennessee Tribunal and they said no no it only has to be left in a and it falls upon the landlord then to take the photos and prove that this is not right

before and after. Yeah yeah. So what did she have to wait ages because I would have just given up because I'd want my money back. Yeah. That's a lot of money. You can't just let that go for like three months while it goes through the tribunal system. No, well, she got 750. Well, they wouldn't release the 750.

Right. Or anything until they'd made an agreement on this $90 thing. It sounded like they were just literally playing a game of hoping that this person quit. Right. And look, I'm sure on the other side of it, there are situations where landlords go to check a house after someone's moved out and it's an absolute pigsty. Oh, yeah.

A total absolute pigsty. This is not landlord bashing here because there's some awful tenants. There's some awful landlords. Hey, look, look, people on a whole. We're awful. If you guys had a look at a waterway lately, we'd just chuck bottles and stuff in there.

You guys seen the endangered species list lately? Like, do we care? Not really. Giraffes are on there now. It's the international day of giraffes today. It's because they got

struck by lightning, remember? Happy international giraffe day. But that was only two. But that was real sad. Yeah, and we can't afford two. And like, while we're to blame,

is anyone blaming the lions? Yeah, that's true. Yeah, this is true. They could lay off the giraffes a little bit. But yeah, so don't just give away money and not chase things if you think you've got a point on either side of it. Yeah. Get that bread.

Save you a bit of cash. It's been an inspiration for the day. Get out there. Get that bread. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Um, where were you in that, Megan? It got a bit much for me halfway through. Need a break.

It's very loud. I want to dedicate this fact of the day to a young lady called Daya. Okay. On the way to kindy every day. She thinks we're singing a song to her. No, we are. We are. Of course we are.

That's where I was going with this. I said, little known fact, Daya, I think you're three. We've been doing this for like 10 years. We actually started this because we knew you were going to be born in seven years. We pre-imminently organised this. We knew. Daya, Daya, Daya. That's how we sing it. So sweet. It's for you, Daya.

Jesus, the wheels come off the wagon. She's three. Bless her. This apparently gets you right in the mood for kindy every day. I love it when you have some wines. Oh, I know. Aunty comes out to party.

It's so great. That's for you, Daya. Every day. That's for Daya. And today's fact of the day is kind of about days. Okay. Did you know, this is today's fact of the day, that Mars has its own calendar? No.

Mars has its own calendar. It. Mars has its own calendar. It's called the Darien system and a guy invented this. He was just like, do you know what? When one day, he did this in 1986, so he's ahead of his time.

Okay. He thought when we settle on Mars, we're going to need a new calendar that's specifically for Mars because it spins different to us, it goes around the sun different to us and that's kind of how we set all our calendars and watches and everything, 24 hours in a day. Did Matt Damon use this calendar?

I would think he would have. Okay. He would have been like, I plant the potatoes in the poo in the month of Kanya and they'll be ready by the month of Methura. Methuna. Methuna. So this is the Darien system. Right. And I can tell you what day you'd be born on Mars. If you'd been born on Mars, like what your birthday would be. Like yours is Sunday, 23rd of June. Yeah.

So I could tell you what it would have been. I'll use myself as an example first because this is, I'm a narcissist. Yeah. So February the 20th, 1982. And if I was born on Mars, I would have been born on the 23rd of Pisces, 198. Okay. So there's 24 months. 24?

What? Oh, no. Just have 60-day months and have 12. 24 months and there's like winter and there's like dust season. Oh, okay. Yeah, where there's more likely to be like dust storms and stuff. Winter, dust, autumn, summer, more dust.

It goes dust, winter, storm season, autumn, their version of summer, and then spring. Winter sounds like it's the worst because there's like storms and dust seasons. Okay, right. But the months are all, there's a lot of star signs in there because they're named after, like us, they got names for stuff off the constellations that were there at the time. Do Fletchers with that.

Okay, so. 23rd of June, 1954. 1954. Are you kidding me? So cheeky. Convert. Oh, Flash, you were born on the 3rd of Rishaba. The 3rd of Rishaba.

3rd of Rishaba, okay. The 3rd of Rishaba. The 3rd of Rishaba. 3rd of Rishaba, okay. The 3rd of Rishaba. Okay. Megan, you're the 25th of July. He's so good at that. I know. You were born on the 7th of Gemini. Oh, okay.

Is Gemini your star sign? No, Leo. It's not. It's not. Okay. Oh, no, that's actually quite a bit away. Because it would see the star sign at a different time. Weird that my star sign was also my.

So you can do this at home. A fun way to spend the day. Is it? But it's like whenever, honestly, there'll be people

texting in and be like, what's mine? And give me their birthday. This happens. It's like when we're talking about the Chinese horoscope.

People are like, oh, I'm just driving. What am I? It's like, well, you send a text while you're driving. You could just ask Siri or Google it. But yeah, so today's fact of the day is that the Martian calendar

is completely different to Earth's calendar. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan The podcast ZM It's Fletch's What are you laughing at? It's Fletch's birthday on What?

It's Fletch's birthday on Sunday He's going to be An important birthday You're having an internal turmoil With whether to say it Sorry, he doesn't like saying it he's going to be an important birthday. Are you having an internal turmoil with the descent? Sorry, but he doesn't like saying it. Why don't I?

He's going to be 40. Well, we just, we just, we know. I think it's more impressive because you've got like the wisdom of a person that age,

but you don't look it. Oh, thanks. So that's. And the maturity of someone half your age. Yeah. Okay,

great. I'll take that too. And also maturity of someone half your age. Yeah. Okay, great. I'll take that too. And also sleeping with people half your age. Don't throw things at me. But we asked some people on Facebook if they wanted to say something nice. Now 90% of people on Facebook don't like saying anything nice. This is true.

It's not a nice place. We're wrangled. It is getting a little bit yuck. Yeah. In some spots. Not in your friends. It's more like the public spots that are getting a bit yuck. In the comment sections.

Yeah. I imagine it's like living in South Africa. Like in your house, it's nice. But in public, it's a bit yuck. Okay. Was it a fear? I mean, that's no Oh you've never been

No just from what I've heard of Megan Yeah I mean They steal rubbish bins Because they're made of steel Yeah Like that's bananas Yeah Do they not have plastic wheelie bins?

That's crazy Oh no you don't leave anything Like not tied down No No there's a public Public Public seats and such Getting it

Oh okay Oh that's terrible And they've got those aliens H over there that like eating cat food. That was a movie. Was it? Yeah. Not a documentary. No.

You've always got to check these things. So we went to South Africa and asked people if they wanted to say nice things about Fletch and some people had some things to say. And now we present to you people saying nice things to Fletch for his birthday. One time I saw Fletch and I was so starstruck that I started waving at him frantically like a complete idiot. And instead of ignoring me, he put on this big goofy smile and started frantically waving back at me as well. And it was honestly just the best thing ever, and it still makes me smile and giggle when I think about it now.

So, happy birthday, Mr Fletcher. Fletch, you brighten up your listeners' mornings with your signature laugh, your quick wit, and your love of all things feline. And we love you for it. Happy birthday. Happy birthday, Fletch. I just wanted to say I love the way that whenever I stand at a busy airport waiting in line, I'll always think of you.

Happy birthday. I love listening to your beautiful voice every morning. Your cheerful and enthusiastic attitude really brings a smile to my face. Hey, Fletch. Brian from LA here, and a happy birthday to you. We all appreciate the lighthearted humor that you bring to the show and the laughter filled podcast that we also enjoy around the world from you guys. So thanks for being you and happy 40th.

Happy 40th birthday. Know that Angel Lil Kaz is looking down on you from heaven, hoping that you have a ball-mast day. Babes, there's no way you're 40. Keep doing whatever it is that you're doing. Happy birthday. Happy birthday, Fletch. I've been a fan since the Fletch and Alex days, actually, particularly when you got nude for the National Penis Day

all those years ago. Fletch, you're on fire. Entering your 40s experienced, wise and independent. Happy birthday, Fletch, you're on fire. Entering your 40s experienced, wise and independent. Happy birthday, Fletch. Fletch, you go alright, man. Happy birthday. You go alright, man. That's high praise.

Thank you. Lovely words. Thank you. It was like a eulogy or something, like I was dead. The one at the start, I so thought she was going to be like, I waved and you turned around and walked away. That was way more accurate. That was an anomaly.

Thank you. Lovely, lovely. Excellent. Thank you. Lovely, excellent. Thank you. That was very lovely. Thank you so much.

We're all a bit hungover and life's hard this morning. Happy birthday. I really appreciate your lovely words. I love the way you give us the windy wheel when we need to hurry up or you tap your watch aggressively. Even if I've never seen you wear a watch. Or you just tap at your wrists. Yeah, okay.

I love it how you tell me to stop going on about it when it's my birthday. Go on about it when it's yours. She goes on about it way too much. I love how someone will be like in the middle of like a serious thing or like opening up a little bit emotionally and we're all listening and you'll be like, oh, and we think you're about to come for them. But then you read something off your phone because you stop listening. Happens all the time. I thought we were saying nice things about me. I like how you take sneaky selfies of yourself

and send it to somebody on Snapchat. I don't know who it is. And you think we're not looking. Yeah, but you just do this little face. You're like, real quickly you go, face, selfie and then... Alright, okay, we're going to move on now. Snapchat universe. All right, okay, we're going to move on now.