ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Megan Podcast - June 24 2019

Episode Date: June 23, 2019

Indie has a new idea for a TV show, flat "who-done-it" and when were you cornered by an animal?See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

ZM. Head music. Lives here. Fletch Warner Megan. The podcast. Thanks, Anya. Good morning. Welcome to the show, Fletch Warner Megan. And she's back after a couple of weeks. A bonjourno. Oh, yeah. So travelled, so cultured. She's French now, is she? That's Italian.

Yeah. Oh, was it? Oh, yeah, that's bonjour. Bonjour. Yeah, close enough Same thing Yes Same continent

Aye Yeah They'd get it They'd get it, yeah Well, they do get it That's the thing It's so similar Now, how was the trip, Anya?

We haven't had much time to talk about this What was your favourite part? Cinque Terre in Italy It was beautiful. If you haven't been, you simply must. Is that the place where they were telling people not to go because they're breaking jandals? Yeah, they banned jandals, so I had to go and edit their slides.

PC members. So they were pretty chic. Right. But, yeah, no, it's absolutely stunning. You simply must. Beautiful little colourful houses. Five fishing villages, eh? Right.

Yes. Linked by a road. Yes. And you can hike them if you would like. You didn't hike? No, I paid to go on a bus. Yeah. With another 5,000 tourists.

Right. But you can rent these slide boats. And they're little paddle boats, but they have a slide on top. I saw it. I saw your photo. What an absolute hoot. It was so much fun. Did you use the slide though?

Oh, multiple times. But I was quite stressed because it was a beach full of people. Yeah. And I didn't want to become a meme. Like, what if I got stuck in the slide? It was very stressful the first time down. But once the first one, it was fine. Dumb, though.

Yeah. Took that off the bucket list. Tech. Yep. Sled into the sink of theory. Are you sounding a bit sick Tick. Yep. Sled into the synchrotheity. Are you sounding a bit sick this morning? Yep. Oh, no.

Okay, just a game. Just a game. Apparently when you get shingles, such as I did, it just wrecks your immune system. For how long? Forever. I don't know, for a while. Forever and ever? Yeah.

You imagine my delight yesterday when I woke up with a cough Oh truly wonderful I thought to myself Sickness number 87 for the year Bloody hell And how was your birthday weekend Fletch? Fantastic Had quite a hangover yesterday Probably one of the worst in modern history

Actually You had a birthday candle cocktail on your gram? Yeah, that was just gifted to me, and obviously I had to do it, and that pushed me over the edge. I don't think cocktails have been lit on fire is the domain of a man of your age. Not very much. Certainly not, no.

Very much an outback tradition for an 18-year-old. I know, I know. And so I was like, well, I've got to do this. It's a gift. I must. I must. And so I was like, well, I've got to do this. It's a gift. I must. I must. And then I don't really remember

getting home. But, you know, hey. Good stuff. Do you still have the Pink Panther suit we gave you? I got it in the

car. Yeah, boy, he's got it in the car. Good. All right, you lot, listen up.

It's story time. Hey. Hey. Hey. I've got three news headlines You've got to pick one of them Cool Headline one

Freak shower Headline two Deep sleep Lands woman in the dark Lands woman in the dark Bit of articulation This early in the morning And headline three

R.I.P. little sluggy Is there really a rapper Called little sluggy What's that? Was there aP. Little Sluggy. Oh. Is there really a rapper called Little Sluggy? What's that? Was there a rapper called Little Sluggy? No, no. But imagine if your rap name was Little Sluggy. Little Sluggy. Lil Slug. There's a SoundCloud rapper. There is a SoundCloud

rapper called Little Sluggy. Oh my God. He's got one followers. Shall we listen to Little Sluggy? Oh no, hold on. We don't know. Well, you're really rolling the dice for him when you're listening to a SoundCloud rapper called Little Sluggy. Oh my God. He's got one follower. Shall we listen to Little... Oh no, hold on. I don't know what this is. Well, you're really rolling the dice for him when you're listening to a SoundCloud rapper

live on the radio without having... Okay, let's just... There might be swears in there. This is Little Sluggy. Hypebeast anthem. Oh, it's a bit muddy.

It's coming through, Megan. It's coming through. It's coming through. This is what Little Sluggy does. I think we really gave him a chance there. I just feel like he's about to drop some F-bombs at any moment there. Well, okay, so those are your headlines. It's not about Little Sluggy the rapper.

Thank goodness. He's on the verge of a career. I've heard about that slug story. Oh, you have? Yeah. Okay. The slug. What was it?

What city was it? It took down a city, didn't it? I think it was in Tokyo. Tokyo. So it got electrocuted and took down the power. Whoa. The trains. Must have been a significant slug.

The power of the trains. Oh, my gosh. The Japanese trains never run on time. Yeah, little sluggy didn't make it. R.I.P. So you've got freak shower or deep sleep lands woman in the dark. Freak shower? Yeah.

Freak shower. Yeah. We're going freak shower? Because there's been, there was a bit of that at my house over the weekend. Like you'd be sitting there and then all of a sudden it'd be like, rain, rain, rain, rain, stop.

Oh yeah, that's a freak shower. I was thinking like shower that you get into. I was, I'm hoping none of this was happening at your place at the weekend Vaughan

because 16 rescuers responded to an incident in Berlin at the weekend triggered by a man urinating off a bridge onto a tour boat. Oh yeah, no, no, that's not the... Several people were injured in Berlin when a man urinating off a bridge onto a tour boat. Oh, yeah. No, no, that's not the...

Several people were injured in Berlin when the man urinated onto the tour boat. Apparently, the sprinkle of urine from overhead caused such a commotion as the boat passed under a low clearance bridge. People started getting up to get out of the way, but then, of course, they were donking themselves on the head and being taken out by the low bridge as the boat passed under the bridge. So 16 people hurt.

It was under a four-metre-high footbridge. So, you know, they have those, like, tiny, real flat cruising boats. You know what I mean, like, please stay seated. Specifically designed for those sorts of... Four people were taken to hospital by the ambulance for lacerations to the head. Oh, my God. Police have filed assault charges

and described the man's actions as abnormal behaviour. There was a situation in the Waikato as a teenager growing up. Now, I didn't live in Hamilton. I lived on one of its outer towns, Lawrenceville, but I remember being in Farmers once. And you know when you remember going to Farmers you'd rush up to the Sega system and you'd play the latest Sonic game

and stuff and there was some kids talk about how they just dropped a deuce on the Delta. Now I didn't know what that meant at the time so I stuck an ear out and I listened a little bit closely and I think like nine or ten year old me learnt about a game that kids who lived in Hamilton would play

not all of them mind as the Waipa Delta would cruise down the Waikato River you'd turd off the try to do a turd off one of Hamilton's seven lovely bridges

to land on the Delta the lovely what was it a steamboat no a paddle boat originally it was a steam powered paddle cruiser but then it converted

and that was purely for... I know, right? Dropping a deuce on the delts. And I couldn't believe it. So anyway, I just thought, what did happen to that boat? Because it came up to Auckland. It did. The historic paddle steamer that is the Waipa Delta.

Is it still not there? No, in 2011 there was a news story that said it's been placed into receivership and it's had a cash snag and I can't find where it is now. Oh, goodness. Oh, RIP Delta. I know. So what, it moved up to Auckland just to get away from people

dropping on it. I don't know. Where is the Wai Pā Delta now is one of the most... I can't... Oh, my gosh.ipā Delta now is one of the most... I can't... Oh, my gosh. You sound quite heartbroken by this. It is a little bit like... Because it started cruising the Waikato River in the 1800s

as a full-blown paddle stand. But now I don't know. I don't know where it is. Well, I guess we'll never know. It's heartbreaking. Absolutely bloody heartbreaking. There's something you can do if you spend 120 minutes of this a week. It actually is very, very good for your well-being.

Okay. I don't because I don't have time. Is it sharing well-being memes on Facebook? Yes. Yes. You need to spend 120 minutes of time looking at. Finding an original one and sharing it to your happy mates that haven't seen it before.

You two probably would do this, I think. So if you spend 120 minutes walking a tree-lined street or sitting by a lake or spending time outdoors and amongst nature, that is the amount of time. That's the. So two hours a week. Oh, yeah, 120 minutes. That's not much. time that's the... So two hours a week. Oh yeah, 120 minutes.

Two hours. Is it? Two hours a week, no. Amongst nature. Oh, I don't know if I, some weeks I don't know if I would do that unless I go for a bike ride

by the ocean. Does that count? Oh, 100% yes. Well, they say sitting by a lake but if you're going to be by the ocean, same. I almost think sea air's worth more. Yeah, true. You know, you get your sea air in your lungs. Yeah. You always sleep well, don't you? be by the ocean, same. I almost think sea air is worth more.

Yeah, true. You get your sea air in your lungs. Yeah. You always sleep well, don't you? Salty, yeah, you do. What is that? Because my mum and dad used to say that when you were little, you'll sleep well because you've sucked in the sea air.

Yeah, I don't know. I definitely. What does that mean? You've just been out and about. Yeah, it's probably because you've been running around or biking or walking or in the sun or whatever more than the actual air. Okay, so what does it mean if you're taking in the tree lines? Well, so if you go for walks and stuff, if you take in any less than two hours a week, you're not going to reap any benefits.

Oh, okay. But it has to be 120 minutes or more is the magic number. But yeah, it's anything. It doesn't have to be like walking in a park or anything like that. Anything to do with nature for two hours a week. I just sat in a paddock for half an hour watching a sheep. With your goats. No, with the goats.

I'll go and chat with them. But the sheep, we put up a fence and we wanted to see where the weakness in the fence was. So we just went and sat and watched. It was quite nice. Just sitting in grass is always quite nice. Was there a weakness in the fence was. So we just went and sat and watched. It was quite nice. Just sitting in grass is always quite nice. Was there a weakness in the fence? No, there wasn't. There was the first time around,

but we redid the fence. No weakness the second time around. So exciting weekend for you, was it? Massive, yeah, massive. Pretty loose. Got pretty loose there for a while. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. So there's a new thing that influencers

are asking for this week. Last week, they wanted holidays. Well, there was that news story that influencers were emailing places saying, hey, could we have a free holiday and I'll put it on my Instagram? It's me here from something something media. And if you look at the initials in that media, it's also the initials of my name. I'm the only person who works here. I'm their assistant. It's also the initials of my name. I'm the only person who works here.

I'm their assistant. There's no assistant. Would you please be able to give them a free holiday in exchange for a picture? This has been happening a lot. Like overseas, even, like was it

one or two years ago there was that hotel in England or something? Ireland, yeah. It was that beautiful historic Irish pub and they said they were just sick of it

so they released what one of the emails looked like from an influencer asking for things. They must be getting so many emails. Yeah. But then like if people are saying yes, then like, I don't know, all power to them if you've got the gumption to do that kind of thing.

But this is kind of, there's an ethical blurring of ethical lines here because they're now asking plastic surgeons for free procedures and surgeries. So what the idea is, they'll put up a before and after, they'll put it all on their Instagram. I guess so.

Okay. You have to be very honest about what's going on, but this is happening in New Zealand as well. So a leading Kiwi plastic surgeon says that he's approached on the reg by influencers to have free procedures. What kind of procedures? Immediately I'm thinking maybe lip injections.

I don't know. But is that plastic surgery? Yeah. Or is that? It's cosmetic surgery. But do you need a plastic surgeon for lip fillers? You don't just go, yeah. I thought that you just went in and you got your 15 minutes slot

and they just inject your lips. That still counts as plastic surgery. Oh. But you don't just want anyone to do that kind of thing. Like, you've got to go to a professional. Well, I've just been getting it done in a van in a car park at Westfields. Is that not allowed?

It's why your lips are falling off. Thank you. But yeah, they just are asking and then basically they'll post on their page and say, hey, yeah, I just are asking and then basically they post on their page and say, hey, yeah, got my lips done or whatever. Do we have like a Kiwi plastic surgeon who's like the go-to, like on E, what is that? The botched.

Do we have like a botched kind of guy who's like the go-to guy? Yeah, we've had a high-profile cosmetic surgeon. And they're like, I can kind of touch a name but my gosh I had a client this week and everyone's like ooh tell us who it is you did it little bitch. And then you're just like

I don't know. They'll get all the ins and the outs of who's had what done to where. There'd be like a Remu era yeah doctor. Surely we just don't know their name.

What a fascinating idea for a show. Cause then there's that famous one that all the Kardashian all like the famous people go to Simon Ararion Ararion Ararion Who's the hot one that my wife follows on go to, Simon Ararion.

Who's the hot one that my wife follows on Instagram? Isn't he just a straight up doctor? Oh, okay. He's like a... It's not fair being a hot doctor though. Yeah. Dr. Mike is... He's a hottie and he puts up pictures in his scrubs and stuff. See, I allow it.

I've got no problem with that. Why? Because then you're allowed to follow someone hot. Correct. All right, spy next. She better find some more doctors is all I'm saying. What, just to balance it out with hot bikini models? There you go.

You all right? Karma. For being a chauvinist. Flesh, fauna, Megan. The podcast. ZM. Bad news, if you play Monopoly and you love being the banker.

I love being the banker because I skim. Exactly. I saw a few people, people, playples, playing Monopoly on social over the weekend.

I thought there must have been, was there a Monopoly push? Or like, what made the weekend cold? It was cold. And people were getting on too well with their loved ones and families. They're like, what made the weekend cold? It was cold. And people were getting on too well with their loved ones and families. They're like, it's all going too smoothly.

Why don't we play Monopoly and end up throwing things at each other? Let's rock the boat here. Well, Hasbro, who make Monopoly, have released a new version of Monopoly because there's a million different versions, but this one is a game changer. It's Monopoly Voice Banking. Tell me how that works.

So they have released a version that is voice controlled. An electronic black top hat in the middle of the board will manage your money, sort out the real estate transactions, pay the rent and draw the chance cards all through voice commands, AI voice commands. So it's like, it's almost like,

no, it's almost looks like a little Alexa or a Google home. One of those little things you have in your home. And you're like, Hey, what one have you got? Alexa. Alexa.

Yeah. So it's, it's like a little mini Alexa, but it's a black top hat. Like the Monopoly man wears. But how would you know what properties you own if you don't? I think you say to it. I think you say to it.

Is it like the board? Well, no, you still have, see the picture there you don't have the cards in front of you? I think you say to it. Is it like the board out? Well, no, you still have, see the picture there, you still have the actual. Oh, right, but all transactions must go through the top hat. Yeah, so you still have your cards for your property. Do you still have physical money? No, it's all done. So you say, all right, I've passed go. Right.

It's Fletch here, I've passed go. And they're like, okay, you have an extra $200. Oh, I feel like that would be annoying. I would have to be so onto it. But, Sue, I reckon you could cheat. I reckon this is the way I've found it. Wait till they go to the toilet. You're right.

And you're just like, hey, I don't know how you, you must have to say a command to activate it. Hey, it's me, mum. I'm transferring $100 into my son's account. Like that. Yes. And then mum gets back and she just doesn't know. She's none the wiser. She's been absolutely milked dry. Like that. Yes. And then mum gets back and she just doesn't know she's none the wiser.

She's been absolutely milked dry of her finances. Yeah. It's just like life really. Yeah. She goes away. Her and dad go away to get a drink and come back

and they've got no money. The bank of mum and dad has been well and truly expunged of all of its financial services. But then how do you, so every turn can you just,

you just have to check how much money you've got and whether you can afford to buy that? Well, yeah, I'm assuming you can ask for your balance at any stage. It says here, for instance, if you press your tokens button and say, buy St. James Place, Mr. Monopoly

will track the transaction and then you just keep playing. Because I've played Monopoly, like, online, like on a what were we playing? On a PlayStation. Oh, yeah. This is going back And then you just keep playing. Because I've played Monopoly online like on a – well, we're playing on a PlayStation. Oh, yeah. This is going back a few years, but you can play. And I know there was one, and I thought it was a great idea,

but I don't know if it still happens. You would download Monopoly on an iPad, and you would put the iPad on the table, and that would be your board, and everyone would have an app on their phone, and it would link it. Oh, okay. And so you could play Monopoly like that.

And that was very, very hard to cheat on because... Yeah. Everything had to go through by the rules. Then you get to the end of an intense game and everyone starts needing the charger because their phones are running out. True. Or you're getting messages.

Because some of the Monopoly games can go for ages. That's why I don't like playing it. That and the arguments. Yeah, the arguments. And because you always lose. Yeah, well that too. You're a pushover. You're not meant to be running a Monopoly.

From the ZM Think Tank, this is the Top Six. Hello there and welcome to the Top Six. Today dealing with the fact that there's a news story. The eggplant emoji was used in a Two Degrees ad and very well played because it kind of tiptoes on that line of being not offensive. Risky. Cheeky. Innuendo. Phallic innuendo.

Yes. Phallic innuendo is what I'm after. Because, you know, you know that that's what is implied, but you've always got the deniability that it was just an eggplant. Yep. And it well played, though, because it got the ad, got a bit of attention, then it got complained about, which is kind of what you want your ad to get, because then you get more attention for the ad

without having to buy any additional advertising space. It's great, yeah. And then people like us talk about it when otherwise we wouldn't have and other media outlets cover it. Great win. Great win. Great win. All because they use an eggplant emoji but it was ruled not offensive. Good.

Not offensive. So the top six more offensive emojis than an eggplant emoji. I've done some research into this. Okay. Have you? It's changed. It's changed. Bl's a mind blown. It's changed. Blown.

Blown. Many a mind blown. It's changed emojis for me. Okay. I hope you're all happy that I've sacrificed the innocence of many emoji. Yep. But here are the six that are more offensive than the eggplant emoji. Number six, representing the penis.

Apparently the cactus. Oh, prickly. Okay. Like tall. Are the penis. Apparently the cactus. Oh, prickly. Like tall, but then green and also prickly and has the two things coming off the side. Now, yeah. Oh, you've just clicked on that. The little arms. I thought you wouldn't want little arms

coming out the side of your penis. That was my main. But then I can see. Okay. But then they're halfway up it. You wouldn't want your testicles there. Yeah, but it's also an eggplant. Yeah. So it would be creative. It's just using a bit of imagination.

Number five on the list of the more offensive emojis than the eggplant emoji, gain. Yeah. The phallic innuendo with the lipstick. I've never thought about this. I've found an article about how- I just almost made the dog. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Exactly why. Somebody said that they'll use that. Right. I just almost made up a dog Yeah, exactly why Somebody said that they'll use that Right And it's a bit more It says a bit more because the Wind's up and down Bingo, you got it

One that I'd never thought about Comes in at number four Apparently the rooster Oh, okay. Yeah. Using the other name for it. Because, can I have a little bit of sound on my fornox? Yeah, sure, sure.

My DJ cord. As the French would say it. It's not coming through. Coke. Coke. Coke. Coke. That's exactly how the French say it.

Coke. Yeah, I just wanted to use Actual reference there Rather than be accused Of something that goes later on But yeah I never thought of that either But apparently

People will use that To indicate They're talking about the penis Right Okay So it's been quite heavily Slanted Phallic

Yeah The phallic representation Of the emojis Far more so I did find a list of Apparent emojis that represented female anatomy as well, but it was a stretch. Yeah. Number three on the list of the top six more offensive emojis

than the eggplant emoji, the toadstool. Have you used the mushroomy toadstool? No, for the penis, yes. Really? And actually, I think it's... That's like Chodi, isn't it? I'll send one to the group chat and you judge, okay? Has everyone got their Facebook there open?

Yep, yep. Mushroom. And then it will be like, yeah, that's what I mean. Like that. It's Chodi. But you can spot in red and white. You wouldn't want that. Actually, no, maybe it's a to be avoided representation.

Number two on the list. I've never known this to be used in such a context, but if you type tent in, if you're on, I believe either, it will, a pitching tent. A fully pitched tent. Yeah, right, okay. Again, I never thought of it. I'm scrolling through.

I was like, pitched tent. Yeah. never thought of it. I'm scrolling through. I was like, pitch to pitch to tent. Yeah. I see it now. I can see it. And number one on the top six more offensive emojis than the eggplant emoji. This one, I can't believe we're not using this more. Okay. The half-peeled banana.

Oh, no one uses a banana. It's like second to the eggplant. Or is it straight after the eggplant? And corn. Yeah, yeah yeah the corn Was on there as well The corn's a half husked Half husked corn

But like that one The banana's like It's coming out of its shell Quite the list off the top Of your head there Megan Yeah It's like corn blah blah blah This one that one

That one The man with the funny look On his face One of the ones I found That I thought was very interesting, apparently, you know the Easter Island head? You probably would never have used that as an emoji. You know the big rock heads that they found in the Pacific Island?

That's to indicate that you've been pleasured. Because the... The face of it. Because the eyebrow goes down and the eyes are shut. I need to see this face now. I mean, if you make that face, it's quite terrifying for your partner. Yeah. But maybe now you'll use it a bit more often.

That is today's top six. Flesh, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. ZM. A British couple have told their harrowing tale of how they were kept captive in their home by seagulls. Roy and Brenda, they

believe that the seagulls were nesting, but every time they went to leave their house, the seagulls felt that this was an invasion of their territory and would attack them and peck at them. Roy, you might remember him from house, the seagulls felt that this was an invasion of their territory and would attack them and peck at them. Roy,

you might remember him from 15 seconds ago, he actually ended up, how it ended was he had a very bad head wound that needed hospital treatment from where one of the seagulls attacked him. He said, I didn't ask them to nest there, they just did. Did they live by the sea, obviously? Well, you'd hope so.

Although I saw a rogue seagull well inland the other day. Do they go inland to die? Or do they go to sea to die? Well, you always hear them over land and, and that means a storm's coming, doesn't it? And they're seeking shelter. Maybe. I don't know.

Right. But it is weird when you see a seagull inland. That or a rubbish dump's just opened down the road from you and they're just getting in for first pickings. How far in land? Because, like, we see them all throughout Auckland, but then we're surrounded by water. Yeah, that's what I think.

I always forget how close you are when you're anywhere in Auckland that you're pretty close to water. Yeah. So. Nah, it's just, oh, it was at our place. I saw it. But we just don't see them normally. I was like, well, you've come a long way, mate.

Yeah. But then probably not. Compared to when they, well, we can talk a long way, mate. Yeah. But then probably not compared to when they, well, we can talk about migratory patterns for seagulls and seabirds all day if you like. But I just imagine a little cottage by the English seaside. Well, the problem is that they are herring gulls, which once they start nesting are a protected bird of England. Oh, so you can't get the broom out.

So he can't get the broom out and smash them over the head and break their eggs and tell them to bugger off and go somewhere else. No, he said, we've been attacked. We've been kept hostage in our home. How long were they kept inside? Well, he said, also his wife's not overly mobile at the moment. So he said that getting her out of the house takes a while.

Oh, God. And so obviously you couldn't because you'd be attacked the whole time. It's not like you could just run to the car. Yeah. Getting her out and getting her moving. But then he said the problem is that they're protected so now they're kind of like just stuck in their home. I've been attacked by a magpie. They're pretty scary.

The scariest thing about magpies is you don't hear them until they're there. Yeah. Like you just hear and you get a little dong on the head. You're like was that seriously just a bird? From a magpie, yeah. They're very territorial. Yeah.

I always remember growing up, magpies were crazy. But it's because you wear your shiny earrings. Yeah, they wanted my earrings. They want your earrings. They want your, well, they're blingy birds. Yeah. They're blingy birds, they aren't magpies. But I've got a friend who's terrified of birds.

Like, absolutely terrified of them. Really? And so he would, he would just stay in his house rather than leave. Could he walk through like a square and there were pigeons around? Would he be like, no. Oh, really? Hates it, yeah. You know how zoos have like massive aviaries

and you've got to walk through the double doors? Won't. Won't do it. No. Terrified of birds. Right. I don't know why there's no traumatic event that happened in his childhood either. No, there's that movie.

What is it? Birds. Stephen King's. Alfred Hitchcock. Oh, is it Alfred Hitchcock. No, there's that movie. What is it? Stephen King's. Alfred Hitchcock. Oh, is it Alfred Hitchcock? It's really old. I don't even think I've seen it, but you always see clips of it. Yeah. And it looks terrible. But everything's fun until someone makes a horror movie about it, like the clown industry.

Do you think they were stuck when It came out? True, true. Up until then. God, everyone just loves us. Stephen King's like, not from tomorrow onwards. This is a story about a killer clown. But we'd like to know when you've been cornered by an animal, when you've been trapped.

Yeah, maybe. The less intimidating, the better. Yeah, like seagulls. Yeah. Because, I mean, I wonder if Roy had an old tennis racket in the garage that he could have used as a bit of a... I just would have gone out and protected it or not. I mean, I wouldn't do that to say a Kiwi,

because then you're like endangered. But you're also not going to have a Kiwi nesting in your garage roof, are you? If you did, you'd almost be more amazed about it. How did you get up there, fella? You can't even fly. All right, so give us a call, 0800 Giles at M, 9696 to text. When have you been trapped somewhere or cornered by animals? A retired British couple have been trapped in their house for quite a while

as protected nesting seagulls have taken residence and will attack them. Territorial, obviously. They've got eggs and chicks and stuff, so they're a bit territorial. But they've been trapped inside their house for quite some time and they can't get rid of them because they're protected. So we want to know from you this morning when you've been cornered by animals. Daniel, you were cornered by an animal?

Yeah, my family and I were staying at some family friends and we're real city slickers. Right. Okay. Yeah, and so they had chickens, like, you know, free-range chickens around the drive and stuff. Yeah. And we actually had to take a broom from the car into the house

and back because the chickens were cornering us. They probably just wanted to be fed, Daniel. Yeah, something like that. Were they aggressive or were they just, like, coming up to you? They were just coming up to us, really. Yeah, right. Some people just don't like some people just don't like

animals in that proximity. I understand that. Well, if you've never grown up with chickens or around chickens, they could be intimidating. Like, they do that head thing. Well, when they walk. Well, they come at you. They want their meal. They want their kibble. Daisy called Daniel Sarah. Your brother

was cornered by an animal. He was. We used to live on a farm, and we had a, I think it was a pretty sickly possum, but my brother decided to attack it with a pipe wrench, one of those really big red ones, and chased it into the garage, but the possum went,

not having this today, and chased my brother back. So he came racing out of the garage. God, because they have razor sharp claws. Yeah. And some can have TB. My brother was only six.

So he thought, yeah. I think the possum was like, oh, that's a little human. Now I can take this one. Yeah, right. Now that I've turned

and had a good look at him, he's a teeny tiny one. Thanks, you cool, Sarah. Somebody said they got trapped up the playground at Western Springs Thanks to swans The swans chased them

They sought the higher ground The swans are so scary They're pretty But man, they'll bite you And the geese They get territorial They're not nice Yeah, so they

What? You could samurai sort them Well, I was just thinking If you had the higher ground, you could say it's over, Swanwick, and I have the higher ground. That's a Star Wars joke for everybody who loves a bit of Star Wars. You could lightsaber them. Flop.

It's a long neck. I would never do that. I love animals. It's an easy target. My sister attracts stuff like this. Yeah. Somebody messages in. When she was chased out of the water at the beach by a crab,

the crab literally ran up on the sand after her. It was the most hilarious thing. She was attacked by a poo kicker on a school trip to a bird sanctuary, and the lady who ran it laughed and said, you shouldn't have worn purple. I don't know. Is that a thing? Because poo kickers have a bit of purple?

I don't know. We were in Rotorua for a family trip, went to the markets. This lady had a ferret. Everybody was patting it. And then she put her hand out to pat it and it ran up her arm and bit her face. Oh, my God. Looked like a snack. Animals don't like her.

No. Adam, you were cornered by an animal, had to get away? Yeah, I got cornered by a bull in a paddock and it chased me out of a tree. I can understand this because bulls are large and we've always grown up with the matadors. Yeah, the bulls are charging animals. Nah, he just wasn't very happy. No, they just don't like people in their paddock. That red thing's a... Oh, is that a myth?

Yeah. Right. Yeah, they just don't like people in their areas. They get a little territorial. Thanks, you call Adam. When I was younger, I was feeding my grandma's coony coony pigs. The scraps were in a bread bag and the pigs automatically knew it was food. One charged

me and knocked me over and bit me on the bum. I've never been back. Ruined coony coonies for me. Some other text messages. When I was leaving the house we have in the front door, there was a snail right outside the front door. He wouldn't move. He wouldn't step over it or anything.

Where's the snail? It's definitely not going to chase you. Pick it up and move it. Not known for its speed. Unless it's that snail with the $1.5 million. What was that? Remember that? Oh, yeah.

Remember you said, would you rather have the snail that follows you forever? Yep. Yeah. And if it touches you, you die. Or you get $10 million. You get $10 million, but then the snail follows you forever. Yep. Yeah. And if it touches you, you die. Or you get $10 million. You get $10 million but then the snail follows you forever

and it knows where you are and it's always after you. And when it touches you, you die. That's right. But still, you've seen it before it touched you

so jump over it. Go out for dinner. Snails can't drive. It'll take a while to get there but you'll probably be able to enjoy your meal. ZM's Fletch,

Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. So, the podcast. So the male contraceptive pill has hit a roadblock. They've been working on it. Is there a side effect? So there is side effects. Oh, well, we can't have it then. Terrible, terrible side effects like weight gain, headaches and mood swings and not wanting to do it.

Like, what do you call that? Loss of libido? Oh, yeah, okay. Terrible side effects that women, I mean, gosh, that's, we can totally. Loss of libido. Understand. Defeats the purpose, doesn't it? Of taking it.

Well, yeah, you'd take it to, yeah, not have children as the result of a libido and then you wouldn't have the libido. Actually, that's probably like a good side effect for most guys, isn't it? Probably. Well, gosh, I wouldn't want you guys to suffer at all. Thank you. Thank you. So they're looking at a different option.

This is the male contraceptive gel. Okay, so like a bit of deep hate or something. Yeah, that'll stop you. No, one of the problems with the pill is that it, guys metabolise fast, so when it gets into the liver, it metabolises really

quickly, and the pills don't work fast enough. Right. So that's the problem with consuming it for guys. Or take two of them. What? Wouldn't that take care of that? Up the dosage? I don't know. No, because you still have to metabolise. It still has to go into your system.

And you're obviously like burning it off too quick. No, this is a gel. So the gel will need to be applied on a daily basis. Okay. It's actually quite a large area. Chest, shoulders and upper arms. So across the top of your torso.

Like a bit of Vicks. Like where I put my Vicks. And it has progesterone. Progesterone. Progesterone. Progesterone. Progesterone in it, which shuts down sperm production and testosterone.

So that's how it works. We rub it on your body. It goes into your skin. There is a catch. It's not a huge side effect. Well, I mean, they're still testing it. Please save my child. Makes me sneeze.

Is that the side effect? It is that the partner can't touch the area that the gel has been put on. Because then they'd get the progesterone as well? Yes. Yeah. But could they touch you later on? Like, say you put it on in the morning before work. Yeah.

They can touch you later on. Or if you put a t-shirt on. Ah, yes. Making love in a t-shirt. Well, James Donald ducks when he goes to bed. So just everyone. Yeah, but he doesn't Donald duck to make love. Do you make love in a t-shirt, James?

Have you been known to make love in a t-shirt? Make love in a t-shirt. It's quite personal. Yeah. I mean, the t-shirt might James? Have you been known to make love in a t-shirt? Make love in a t-shirt. It's quite personal. Yeah. I mean, the t-shirt might be on at some point, for sure. Like the start. So that's a yes. So James has Donald Duck in a t-shirt.

More of a Winnie the Pooh if you're making love. Get in some honey. Donald Duck. Glad somebody picked it up. He doesn't say much, but when he does. He knows. He knows. Well, so, I mean, if you have up. He doesn't say much, but when he does. He knows. He knows. Well, so, I mean, if you have to leave your t-shirt on

and, you know, the female didn't have to take the pill every day, that's not a bad trade-off. I mean, they're still doing tests and stuff, but it doesn't seem to have the same side effects that the pill for men would have. What about, like, with the gel, but a patch? So you could put a patch on your side underneath. Like a non-erogenous sign.

Yeah. Under your armpit. Not the armpit. Down on the side. On the ribs on the side. But you kind of like. You could have a tickle there perhaps. Okay, where's a non-erogenous sign we can put this patch?

Lower back? No. Like where a tramp stamp would go? That's not an erogenous sign. For the guy. But then then the lower back cuddles yeah but it's it's covered in a patch what i'm saying is you just don't want to be distracted by the patch you won't you won't touch it it won't touch you probably oh no because you're lower back nah you don't know what about your calf muscle it's like a scratch down the back like you think about if you're getting a and scratch down the back. Like you think about if you're getting a scratch down the back, it goes to the side.

It doesn't go to the middle and the lower. The middle. The middle and lower back. Yeah, right. It's a fairly non-erogenous zone. Don't do it on the armpit. No one's going up in there. Oh, don't some people like a tickle?

Do you? I don't, but I'm sure some people do. Do you? We're finding out a lot about our male colleagues. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. You will have heard over the weekend that Israel Folau, he has started a GoFundMe. Is that what it is?

It's a GoFundMe? It is. It's a GoFundMe. Because Give a Little have said they wouldn't do it if it was on their page. And he started a GoFundMe to actually fund his legal defense. No, he's on the other side of it. It's because he's kind of going at Australia with rugby, right?

Yeah. Because when he kept on with his social media hate speech, he came into breach of his contract. So they ended his contract, terminated his contract and now he's like, it's not fair. So he wants to take legal action against them. So basically he would like you

to fund his legal fees. He wants $3 million. So he can go to court against somebody who gave him fair warning and he kept breaking the rules and he was in breach of his contract. So that's why he wants your money.

No other reason. Don't be fooled. You might be thinking, go fund me. Isn't that just for like genuinely people who need money because of sick children or... Because they don't have millions of dollars in assets of their own. Exactly. They're trying to help.

It was revealed over the weekend $7 million is his portfolio of property. And that's property alone. We don't know where else that money's invested. Sell one of your houses, mate. Yeah. This is your problem. This is your fight. But you know what?

We say that, and God, we must live in a bubble. But he's had $742,000 in donations to this date. So a lot of people are saying they don't agree with what he said, but they agree with freedom of speech. The thing is, you're allowed to say whatever you want, but if you're being an arsehole, there's consequences. Yeah, exactly. And you'll lose your contract, and that's on you.

You can't expect other people to pay for that. You've got freedom of speech, but that doesn't bypass what you agreed to in a contract. No. So if he gets this money, he doesn't have to prove how he spent it. No. He could keep any left over. Yep.

He could lose. Or he could win. Is he going to pay back every person that gave him money? Doubtful. If he wins against Australian rugby and gets millions of dollars in a settlement, is he going to pay back everybody that gave him money? Or have people just paid for more of it? I don't understand living the lifestyle that he does and the privilege that he has, how

he can even sleep at night knowing he's taking money from people. I know. That's what I don't get. That are almost definitely in a less fortunate situation than him. 100%. And if you were donating on your Christian values to support someone who is apparently portraying Christian values, but I've heard many a Christian say that there's in no way

representative of anything they stand for, you go to that page and you see kids with life-threatening cancers, you see families that have been torn apart by tragedy, and you can still give money to a guy with millions of dollars in the bank because he's having a sookie wah-wah that he couldn't keep his mouth shut and, you know, be part of a legally binding contract that he agreed to and signed? Yeah. Like, that's not Christian values no matter how you paint it.

Yet $742,000 has been donated. It's nuts, eh? It's very upsetting. From someone who, like my mother-in-law went to Nepal. Every year she goes overseas and she's done Vietnam previously. She visits orphanages and

they help the kids out and they teach them massage techniques and stuff. These kids are locked in an orphanage a lot of the time. In a recent trip to Nepal, she met a guy who every year, his only way to earn any income is to go up Mount Everest. Right. That's how he has to survive.

He has 35 kids in his care. He runs an orphanage. Yeah. There's no steady income for this orphanage. He has to every year risk his life going up Everest. And she just came back so affected and touched by it. She started a GoFundMe to keep this guy off Everest. Right. Because if he dies up Everest,

and there was a situation a couple of years ago, there was an avalanche, and every single Nepalese Sherpa that he is in this group with died apart from him. If he dies, there's 35 kids in Nepal with nothing. Yeah, right. Orphans. And so like,

I was talking to her about it and she said it's heartbreaking. She went and set this page up to try to raise money for them. Yeah. And she said all these other so worthy, worthy causes. Yeah.

And yet there's this guy with $7 million in the bank, $7 million in property. We don't know how much money he's got in the bank. Yeah. Who knowingly broke his legally binding contract

and now wants people's money. People who can't afford to be giving away the money. Like, who's putting money in? Do you know there's some people in there who are putting money in just so they can comment that he's a douchebag? I saw somebody put in $2 and say that they were a drunken fornicator

and it was worth the $2 just to tell everybody else in the donator list it was doing it. Just don't do it. $2? They said all of these anonymous donations

of hundreds of dollars. Like they said, oh, you're so proud of what you stand for yet you won't put your name by why you're giving money to this douchebag. Yeah.

It's nuts, eh? Well, yeah, and like you say, your mother-in-law and then you see $720,000 there. It's crazy. Yeah, yeah, exactly. And I'm your mother-in-law, and then you see 720,000 there. It's crazy. Yeah, yeah, exactly.

And I'm just thinking on the homepage of GoFundMe, there's people that want, you know, money for a bone marrow transplant, you know, someone that's just lost most of their family, raising, it's just sad. How exactly? That's the thing that blows my mind, how you could go to that page and still pick him to donate money to. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

You're donating to someone who is hating on people. Even if you're, how you've been brought up, this archaic lifestyle of, oh, heck no, a man can't kiss a man. How could I process that? Even if that is how you think. And if you can go to that page and put your hatred above helping out a fellow human by donating whatever you were going to donate to him to someone who actually needs it yeah you need to recalculate what your religion means to you because that's not humanity no it's not even humanity no let alone religion ridiculous nicely said yeah it makes me so angry and sign the petition

pulled down. I would love, they've got a cave. There is a petition to do that. There was 65,000 people that signed that last night to have it removed. So hopefully they'll listen if enough people sign it.

ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. Last night we were sitting down as a family and the girls asked whatever happened to Lego Masters which was a show

we were watching. Oh yeah. We've recorded the final episode and they haven ask whatever happened to Lego Masters, which was a show we were watching. Oh, yeah. We've recorded the final episode and they haven't got around to watching it. Right. Did you explain how TV shows work? Limited series. They only make so many amounts of episodes.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because they're of the YouTube slash Nickelodeon generation where literally the same show is just repeated day, day, day, day. Yeah. Over and over and over forever and ever.

Never-ending episodes. Yes. Yeah. And they can watch over. Forever and eternity. Never ending episode. Yeah. And they can watch the same episode of The Thundermans 500 times and laugh at the parts where they laugh and never grow bored of it. That's just how it functions. Weird, eh? But then you say that's weird, but then we watch Friends over and over again. True.

Yeah, touche. And we like it. True. Yeah. Okay, children, you've got us here. So they asked what happened to Lego Masters and I said, oh, it's finished and somebody won and we've got the record. We'll watch it some other time when we've got a bit more time. Yeah. Okay, children, you've got us here. So they asked what happened to Lego Masters, and I said, oh, it's finished, and somebody won, and we've got the record. We'll watch it some other time when we've got a bit more time.

Yeah. And then they said, oh, so what are those types of shows called? I said, well, that's reality TV. Right. Basically where, is that reality TV? Kind of, eh? Like competitive reality TV. A little bit, yeah.

Not like reality TV like Love Island, but then that's competition as well. Like people do win at the end of that, right? More like a game show-y even. Yeah. Reality game show? Reality. I say it's reality TV.

It's real people. They're not acting. They go on. They participate and someone's the winner. And then Indy started talking about an idea for a reality TV show. So I got out the old phone and recorded it because I thought this could be some money-making genius

and this was her idea for a reality TV show. So what would happen on Cupcake Island? It's a TV show. Yeah. They're trying to bake the best cupcakes. Yeah. And then there's a judge. Yeah.

And then there's also people trying to distract. Distract them. Distract them while they people trying to distract. Distract them. Distract them while they're trying to make the best cupcakes. What would they do to distract the people trying to make the cupcakes? Asking them questions and telling them to come over here. And they would be on a timer. Some would be like, hey, you, baking the cupcakes. Why don't you come over here?

Like that. Yeah. I think that might be the best reality TV show I've ever heard of. So it's Cupcake Island, right? Obviously, geographically, in the title, you now are on an island. So film's somewhere like Love Island or Celebrity Treasure Island is coming, right? And they make cupcakes. Right.

Only cupcakes. Okay. They're given like an idea of what the cupcake is to be for. They bake cupcakes, but at the same time, like the chase, they have to answer questions. So it's game show-esque. Yes, because there's questions, but the questions, not only do the questions get them points,

because we talked about this more, the questions get them points, but the points turn into how much extra time they get. Right. What are the questions regarding? Not all cupcake related. That was my question. Are they cupcake related questions? No, no. She just said just any questions about animals.

Because there's a bit of a nailed it feel to that, because that's what happens on Nailed It. They're trying to make these cupcakes, sometimes cupcakes. It's just cakes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then they can also be distracted. Right. Someone can earn

a distraction for the other players. Right. But what about making cakes and stuff is not good in the heat? That would be another challenge,

wouldn't it? Yeah, right. And also, I'm thinking if you do it outside in the bungalow or the beret. Yes. A lot of ants. Well, that's another one of these distractions they talk about.

And my favourite part was just someone being like, hey, hey, why don't you come over here? And the person making the cupcake is like, oh, that is tempting. It is tempting to just go over there. But yeah, Cupcake Island. Yeah, okay, I like it. Well, you know I love cupcakes. Feedback. Feedback. There's Cupcake Wars already. But again, it's Island. Yeah, okay, I like it. Well, you know I love cupcakes. Feedback. Feedback.

There's Cupcake Wars already. But again, it's not on an island, is it? Yeah, no, it's not. It's different enough to get away around it. Imagine if we're doing it on an island, they're going to have to be hot people shirtless, right? Yes. Yeah.

But then are you allowed to be shirtless or in a bikini in the kitchen? While you're baking? There is a... Health and safety. Somebody has... Oh, no, guys, hold on. Yeah, but if we film it somewhere like in the islands, is there health and safety as stringent? Could we do it like a floating?

No, that's where you go to the islands. You know, like Wipeout and stuff was filmed in like countries with a little bit looser, like Southeast Asia. Sort of regulations, yeah. Set up a floating kitchen and then like if you burn yourself, you just put your hand in the water. Oh, I think you meant do it in international waters. Because there's no health and safety in international waters. Is that a thing?

You'll remember at the start of this break. Yeah. I said that they'll watch the TV show The Fundaments over and over. Yeah. Somebody said, Vaughan, the answer lies within The Fundaments. Your daughter has plagiarised one of their episodes. Apparently there's an episode of the Thundermans called Cupcake Island.

Oh my God. She is her father's daughter. She's taken somebody's idea and perfectly passed it off as her own. Absolutely perfectly. Absolutely caught out. Are you going to call her out on that? Yes, I'm going to say,

where did you get the idea for the list of the Thundermans episodes? Somebody said it's very early on. I just came up with it, Dad. I'm just going to search. She is like you. I know.

I'm kind of almost proud of her. How many times has Vaughan claimed an idea was his? Every day. All day, every day. To be totally honest,

I do forget where they actually came from. Right, okay. What a great podcast so far. Wouldn't you agree, Fletch? Yes. And it's all thanks to Spark.

Get one gig of bonus data with the Spark U25 pack. Now, back to the podcast. Yesterday, I decided to face the world with a horrific hangover and left my house at about 1.30pm. My first time. I was like, okay, I needed to leave. I needed food. I needed coffee. So I was like,

I'm going to, I can do this. It was a big Saturday night. It was a huge Saturday night. It was one of those Saturday nights where you're like, I'm never drinking again. It got surprised upon you too. You said that during.

Well, no, I said that yesterday. Oh, I was going to say yesterday. It was one of those Saturday nights where you're like, I'm never drinking again.

Like during the drinking, you're like, I'm never again. People get by me drinks and I was, before I knew it. Oh, horrible people. Horrible, horrible people. So awful. Horrible friends.

Horrible, horrible people. So I left the house yesterday and this is where I witnessed something so horrific. Like, so I'm walking out of my apartment and the apartment next door, a lovely old lady exits the door in front of me. Okay. With, and this was great, with a little shopping trolley. You know, like you got me a shopping trolley that we use here at work for all the important cables and stuff. Yeah. Well, you don't use it for anything.

Because I still can't bring myself. It's a trolley bag. Yeah, because I can't bring myself to use the trolley bag yet. Although I did see someone really cool the other day with a trolley bag. I did too. You could have been that person sitting in the train. Yeah, exactly. The train setter.

So she walks out of the door in front of me with her little trolley bag. I'm guessing her age would have been early 70s. Okay. She had like white hair, petite, small, old, old lady. But still, still she was very sprightly. I'd say very sprightly because she almost looked in a hurry because her stroller was empty and she was kind of banging it about. I was like, oh, you've got to be careful with that. In my head, I said, be careful with that.

And you walk like really fast. So she's in here ahead of me. She walks down the stairs in front of me. And I'm like, oh, my God, I'm going to send a photo to the group chat of this old lady with the stroller. Because that's like the stroller you got. The trolley bag. Yeah, and you could be like, this is why I'm not using it. Yeah, exactly. Yeah.

And just as I get my phone out, the trolley bag, I'm maybe two metres behind her. The trolley bag hits her in the leg and she overbalances and starts falling down the concrete stairs. And she's like, for some reason, she still manages to stay upright. She's like, one step, next step, next step. And I'm like, oh, my God. And I look up and I'm like, I'm about to see this old lady eat it. Like, she is going to die. if she hits those steps face first. She's either going to be a bloody mess.

Yeah. Well, they don't bounce once they get to that. Either way, I'm going to have to call an ambulance. Oh, my God. She's probably going down about five or six or seven steps before she reaches out for the handrail and then swings in and slams into the side. And I'm just like standing there just going, oh, my God, are you okay? And she's like, oh, yes, goodness, that was lucky.

And I was like, yes, that was lucky. Are you all right? Do you need some help? Do you like me to, I said, offer to carry a stroller down the rest of the steps. And she's like, no, no, I'm fine, I'm fine. And I was like, you need to buy a lotto ticket. So she, no cuts or anything? Well, no, because she managed to just hang on to the rail

and stay upright. But I was like, oh, my God, you could have died. I nearly saw this old lady die in front of me. Because you were going to take a photo. Well, no, and that's the other thing. It's like if she'd like fallen, people would have been like, you tripped her. You were behind her. You tripped her.

This is where my mind's going. People say these things. You were there. You must have tripped her. Because, you know, people are being a weapon. I'm a hurry. I'm a hurry. Hurry up, you old bitch.

You're a hurrier, but you're not like a shoving old people down the stairs. I'm not going to push an old lady in a hurry. Oh, man, it was so freaky to watch. She absolutely, I don't know how she did it. She must do Pilates or aqua jogging. She's definitely going to be bruised, though, today. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I just couldn't believe it. Mum goes out in the garden and comes back with like a million bruises.

They bruise like a rose, eh? Like a rose. A rose attacked me. She's like, Jesus, did you run into a wild cat out there? Like a panther. Mum's like, oh, no, I brushed up against a rose bush. What, did you like roll around on it? Yeah.

How did one rose bush do that much damage without you going like, oh, that's cutting, I'll stop now. This is what's going to happen. So what was the end? You set her on her way? Mum just, I just went off to get my coffee. You were like, all right, see you, mate. And just like fall down the stairs real quick.

Pretty much. She didn't need my help. She was all fine. Was there more stairs to go down to? Yeah, there was another whole flight of stairs. Well, you should have hung around. Well, I looked over my shoulder. She was fine.

She didn't want my help. She was very, you know, very old person, stubborn. Like, no, I'm fine. Yeah. Well, you nearly weren't. Falling down the stairs, they're all like crumpled at the bottom. You're like, do you want a hand? They're like, no, no, bug, no, I'm fine. Yeah. Well, you nearly weren't. Falling down the stairs, they're all like crumpled at the bottom.

You're like, do you want a hand? They're like, no, no, bugger off, I'm fine. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast.

We've heard of, somebody who works here has had some flat drama. Anonymous. They are, yeah. Yeah, they don't work here. What?

What? Certainly want to narrow it down. We've heard that there is some flat drama because in the flat group chat it's been lit up

because somebody said, hey guys I went to have a shot of tequila the other night. As you do. As you do. Just sit down, you're like, it's a shot of tequila night. They went to have a shot of their tequila and they said the estimations would be it's 90% water now. So I don't have a problem so much with you drinking said tequila.

But then you're also wasting the rest of the alcohol. Yes. Like that's a stunt you pull when you're 16. Wait, did they fill it up with water? Yeah, I drank a shot of tequila last night. I do kind of find it humorous, reads the chat. But whoever it is should ask me first. It's in my room, so it's a bit stink.

So someone's gone into this person's room. And this is the thing. When there are only four people in the flat. Yeah, you kind of know before you even ask, don't you? Well, you'd have your suspicions. But that's what we wanted to talk about this morning and right now, those flat whodunit mysteries. When you know there are

four or five or six people it could be, but nobody owns up to it. No. And maybe it is a heinous crime. Maybe it is the theft of something delicious like biscuits or condiments or cheese. But like it was in their room.

That's so cheeky. That's not even in like a communal area. So this person, they're saying nobody in the flat is owning up to it. Nobody. And I hate when there's that kind of stuff going around. When I was flatting, it's not you, but then you don't want to be... You don't want to knock on the person. But you also don't want to be the suspect.

You don't want them to think it was you, do you? Yeah. You don't want your good name sullied. But then it also sucks when you're the person calling it out because then everyone thinks you're like a psycho about it. Then you're sending out past that note.

But you just take it outside of the group chat and you approach the person Directly Oh right You just say Hey it's not me It wasn't me But then how do you prove it Um

See I'd almost A made up allergy to tequila I'd almost be tempted To get one of those Cameras you've got That you can see on your Smartphone Oh the Arlo

Yeah yeah Put it in the pantry Hide it And the fridge Motion detect Yeah And then so if anything Goes missing

You could actually Get one of those Go back and check Get one of those Teddy bears That you're spying your nannies with. Yeah. Or your babysitters with. You probably check with your flatmates before you're rigging up cams everywhere.

No, I'm just saying just on the bottle of tequila. Yeah, right. Okay. But so this flat whodunit. Yeah. So we thought we'd take some calls this morning. 0800 dials at M9696. Have you ever had a big flat whod done it mystery when nobody owned up to something and maybe it was the theft of some food maybe it was

there was a stain or a hole in the wall oh yeah a big a big who done it james you've got a who done it at the moment in your flat we do have a current one um it's ongoing still no one has owned up to it but we have a cereal uh what would you call it? It eats out of a container and puts it back in the fridge or the freezer or something like that with nothing in it. So you go to grab something and you're like, oh great, there's some still there. Pull it

out. Absolutely nothing left. An empty receptacle replacer. So for example, you make a delicious creamy pasta and you put it into a container, put it in the fridge. They'll eat it all like on the on this situation um someone had baked a lovely uh for joe a shortcake oh my god you live in a bougie place always surprised me with this ice cream with your fijo shortcake yes but you see yeah well this is all part of the story you see i didn't have any because i don't

like hot fruit okay yeah so it can't be me no that't have any because I don't like hot fruit, okay? So it can't be me. No, that's a common thing. People don't like fruit in their desserts or whatever. Like hot fruit. Really? I love a hot fruit. Like an apple creme brulee. Yeah, no, can't do it. I'll take the topping. Love the topping, but I won't eat the guts of it. But anyway. So they

baked this on a Wednesday or something. It probably lasted until maybe the next Monday, I think. Okay. Magical. On the Monday, someone went in there Monday night after dinner and was like, oh, great, they could see the tray of the Fijol shortcake up on top in the top shelf of the fridge.

Go in, great, there's some left. Pull it off, absolutely nothing left in the tray. And nobody's owning up to it. Nobody's owning up to it. Do you have your suspicions? I do have my suspicions, but the person who has offended before is strongly against that it wasn't

there. Yeah, that's what they'd say. But the reason you don't do it, like, if the tray's on the bench, like, cleaned, they know that you were the last person to eat it. No, you've got to wash it, put the tray away. They know that they have to clean it, which they probably don't want to do. So it's the cleaning. You think the issue is the cleaning.

They don't want the responsibility of cleaning the tray. I think it is the cleaning. So who's the lazy flatmate then? It's got to be them. Well, that's the thing. I don't know. Okay. All right.

Well, we want to take your messages. 9696 0800 DARS at N. Your flat whodunit mysteries. Who's not owning up? This should help sell some of those Kiwi build houses. Talking flat whodunit mysteries. Who's not owning up? This should help sell some of those Kiwi build houses. Talking flat whodunits, those big mysteries in the flat that nobody owns up to. We want to know from you,

if you're currently in the middle of a flat whodunit. Somebody said, I've been fermenting chillies for three months to make amazing hot sauce. I don't think I brought everybody up to date with what happened to my chillies that I was fermenting. Oh yeah? Spoiler alert, they got mould on them.

I googled it. Apparently highly dangerous to have mould on your fermented goods so I had to chuck them all away. How did they get mould? I don't know.

I don't know what I did wrong there Magoos but I've done something terribly, terribly wrong. So have you just given up on fermenting chillies? Well then I bought half a cabbage.

Yep. Are you going to make sauerkraut? I'll start with sauerkraut but I did that classic put it in the veggie crisper and then forget about it and Shado's like that cabbage you bought it's gone, it's veggie crisper and then forget about it. And Shado's like, that cabbage you bought,

it's turned to liquid. I'm like, bin it. So this person's fermenting chillies for three months to make amazing hot sauce. I mean, I'm already on board with this. One day it was just gone. I even had a picture of it, so I sent it to everyone saying if they'd seen it.

No one admitted to throwing it out, although one flatmate said she saw a bunch of glass jars in the bin one day. See, people have an issue. After I talked about my missing hot sauce a lot.

People have, some people are really against fermentating because it's obviously quite gross, isn't it? You're leaving something in a container on the bench

to heat. Rot in its own juices. Yeah. And then eat it. Oh yeah, okay. For health benefit. Like when you think about it like that it's quite gross, right? Yeah. Not approved health benefit. Well, this is true. Well, and then eat it. Oh, yeah. For health benefit. Like, when you think about it like that,

it's quite gross, right? Yeah. Not proved health benefit. Well, this is true. Well, it's just yummier. Yeah, yeah. It's yum. Don't get me wrong, I love sauerkraut.

Oh, it's delicious. But I eat so much of it, it can't be healthy for me. Like, I eat a jar of it in a sitting and then afterwards my guts is like, what have you done to me? Kate, you've got a flat whodunit? I do.

Okay, so what is the mystery? So, I was in a flat with two girls and two girls. And we had all gone away for the weekend and came back and a tank of tropical fish were dead. So someone had turned it off at the wall

before we all went away. Oh my god. Oh my god. Thousands of dollars of fish dead. and other animals too. Tropical fish genocide. Yep, and it ended up in the end of the flash. We ended up just, no one could agree and no one could own up to it. But did the water get too cold for the tropical fish?

There wasn't enough oxygen? Yeah, and there was no filter and so they just died in their own filth. So the plug was definitely off. Like, the power hadn't gone out or anything. No, no, it had been turned off at the wall. Oh, no. Oh, my God. No, I wouldn't own up to that if I'd accidentally switched it off.

Because someone... No, I reckon it was his girlfriend, for God's sake, who then broke up with him. What, did she think they were his fish? They were his fish. I mean... Oh, they were? Oh, right. Don't.

No, we're not. What an absolute payback. What a murdering fish. Oh, my God. I'll teach you. Wow. Okay. Thanks, you cool.

Kate, some text messages. I have irritable bowel syndrome and I'm lactose intolerant. Okay. So often I will bomb the toilet and will admit owning up to bombing the toilet. But part of it is you let your flatmates know that you've got lactose intolerance

etc. Okay. That they would know that you always clean the toilet because if anything goes bad, you're going to get the blame for it. Yeah. So it turns out one time there was these awful skid marks left in the toilet And everyone blamed me

I said no because you know I'm a thorough scrubber Yeah I'll thoroughly scrub It got to the end of the year Anyway I got the nickname Captain Stripes At the end of the year Yeah After a full year of investigation

On the day we were moving out A flatmate admitted to me that he was the one that did it He sat backwards on the toilet to get the full brown strips just so I would get blamed for it. He said he was angry at me that day. What a monster! Wow. Cal, you have a flat mystery?

Yeah, well, quite a few years ago when I was a student, I came home one afternoon. I was working part-time as well, so I came home after work. It was a cold, bitter cold Upper Hutt day. And I noticed that the potbelly stove in this old flat that we had was on and there was wood in it and it was firing up. And I thought, well, that's cool because we didn't have any firewood.

But then I went into my bedroom and discovered that all my frame of my bed and the slats were missing. It was just the mattress sitting on the ground in the bedroom. Ah. What? What? You could have burned your bed frame. Yeah.

And nobody admitted. Nobody admitted that. No. No, but, you know, that was the kind of flat it was. It was up a hut. It was up a hut. My God. That is absolutely ruthless that someone would burn the frame of your bed.

Yeah. Wow. I didn't have a framed bed for about another two years because I couldn't afford one. So, yeah, I just kept on a mattress. Oh, my God. That's the most horrific thing I've heard. They must have been terrible people. Oh, yeah.

Yeah, they were they were vintage 90s students, yeah. Did anyone else's bed frame get burnt? No. I was going to say, it's the person who only had a frame left at the end of the flat. That you could probably blame. Thanks for your call, Cal. God, you'd just want everything tin, wouldn't you?

Yeah. You'd get rid of your dresser and just have a filing cabinet for your clothes. At least they wouldn't burn it. Exactly, anything else would just end up on the fire. Yeah. You'd get rid of your dresser and just have a filing cabinet for your clothes. At least they wouldn't burn it. Exactly. Anything else would just end up on the fire. Somebody said that we've got a recidious offender. Oh, yeah.

That leaves a dribble of milk in the bottom of the milk, a dribble of juice. The chip packets, like they will literally roll the chip packets back and put clamps on them with nothing but air left in the bag. Because you don't want to be the one that, like, ate it all. If you throw it out, then you ate it all. Yeah. And they said, we know exactly who it is, but we haven't caught them red-handed, and they're absolutely denying everything.

Unbelievable. Cameras. The monsters. Yeah, get the cameras out. Get the cameras out. Get a camera. Flesh, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast.

ZM. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Today's fact of the day is about bees. You know, I love a bee, a bee fact of the day. I love bees. I think they do great work. Bees. It is that most of the world's bees are actually solitary creatures. But they all hang out in their home. They don't. They don't. Those are honeybees.

We're very familiar with honeybees because they've been kind of a species of bee that we as humans are like, we can see benefit in there being more of those, so we get more of those. And when they say bee numbers are dwindling, and people are like, but I see beehives everywhere. But it can be, it's the bees outside of the species that we're really familiar with. Bumblebees and honeybees,

everybody knows what they're like, right? Yeah, yeah. We're not counting wasps because they're just like, yuck, Satan. But the bees, there's 20,000 described bee species worldwide. What? And most of them are solitary bees.

There's only nine honeybee species and there's 250 bumblebee species. Who knew there were that many different types of bumblebees? Oh, there's just one. No, because where have I been that they're real big? I've seen real big bumblebees. Or are they big here but they're little overseas? I think we've got big bumblebees. We've got big ones, eh? Because I've seen that they're real big. I've seen real big bumblebees. Or are they big here, but they're little overseas? I think we've got big bumblebees.

We've got big ones, eh? Because I've seen some and I'm like, you are so little. I saw one dead inside my house the other day and that's the first time I've seen one for ages. Ages. Are you Googling where are the world's biggest bumblebees? Bumblebees.

World's biggest bumblebees. In Argentina and Chile, there's bumblebees that can be four centimetres long. Whoa. I found a cute compilation of giant furry bumblebees cute. Is it a video? Yeah. They are really cute.

Yeah, but don't believe the hype because remember that one stung me at float. Yeah, that's right. Because for years I've been like, bumblebees don't sting. And maybe there's a species that don't. How did you even think that? Somebody at Intermediate said been like, bumblebees don't sting. And maybe there's a species that don't. How did you even think that? Somebody at Intermediate said to me, bumblebees don't sting. Watch.

They totally do. And they caught one in their hand and you can hear it going. And it sounds real cute. So I've always done that. And I've even done it for the girls. I'm like, listen, this is what a bumblebee sounds like. They can sting you multiple. And then that one just absolutely stung me right on the wrist.

You thought you were going to die. It went for a kill. It went for a kill shot. The world's largest bumblebees, apparently they're on the verge of extinction. They're very, very large. Yeah, okay, so South America, Chile, apparently the home of the world's largest bumblebees.

But most of the world's bees are actually just solitary bees. They don't function in families. In a hive situation, no, they tend to keep to themselves and they'll... Is that why there's dwindling numbers? Yeah, because pesticides and stuff, people... The honeybees, and they assume that that's the only type of bees,

but there's all these other bees, these solitary bees, these wild bees, and their numbers do continue to plummet, but they play an equally important part in pollination and flowers and wildflowers and everything. Well, if they die, we're screwed. That's the end of humans, isn't it? Well, it's the end of the produce department. But then if you think about it,

outside of the produce department, heaps of the stuff started its life as produce. Yeah, exactly. So it might still be like boring old dry-ass Weet-Bix, but if that's wheat... Yeah, true, true, yeah. That benefits from it as well, doesn't it? Well, we're going to have to live on in-domain noodles.

What are noodles made out of? Noodles? Rice noodles are made out of rice. Flour's made out of grain, which we said made out of the stuff the wheat bitches made out of. Oh, okay, I have to live on chocolate then. Any pollination implied in the cocoa plants?

Oh, God. I'm going to have to live on biscuits. Ginger nuts. Okay, we're back to the wheat situation. See, we're going to be screwed. So be nice to the bees. We're going to be wheat situation. See, we're going to be screwed. So be nice to the bees. We're going to be absolutely screwed. Look after the bees.

They are our best friends. Oh, no. What? Can't just live on like soft drinks. Well, you can. Yeah, no. We'll have rotty teeth. For a short time.

Yeah, we won't be around for long if we start relying on soft drinks entirely for all of our daily nutrition. So today's fact of the day is most of the world's bees are actually electronically actually solitary creatures. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. A new dating company, well, a dating company in Japan has launched a new service. It's a speed dating matching singles through their DNA. So just like, you know, you send away your, what is it? The Ancestry.com, you spin the tube. Yeah. You send away your saliva. To find out who you're related to. Yeah Ancestry.com, you spin the tube. Yeah.

You send away your saliva. To find out who you're related to. Yeah, and how much Viking you've got in you. Yeah. Because remember, you were lots of Viking, Megan, and then they just revised it, and now you're just, we all lost our Viking. Yeah, we all lost our Viking.

And Spanish. Yeah. So you send this away, and yeah, what are they doing genetically to tell you who you shouldn't date, because you might be related to, perhaps? So it's nothing to do, I don't think it tests who you're related to. It tests your HLA gene. So the theory states that the more diverse the HLA gene is,

the more attracted partners are. Right. So it's a gene complex with more than 16,000 variants that's related to the immune system. So the idea is, the theory is, that the more diverse DNA, the more attracted to one another based on their potential offspring being immune to more illnesses.

Whoa. Like it's pretty deep. Oh my God, they've just scienced love. They've just scienced love, they have. They've scienced attraction, and it's to do with whether or not your kids are going to get a cold. Yeah, I guess so, or if they'd be immune to, like, disease and... Right.

Kind of those kind of nasties. So, yeah, this company does, you know, the usual matchmaking through maybe, like, incomes and interests. But, yeah, it's just another kind of string to the bow. And they've recently held a night with DNA matchmaking and interests. But yeah, it's just another kind of string to the bow. And they've recently held a night with DNA Matchmaking and partners. They were able to match 26 men and women. Yeah. One was 32.

The other was 41. They had a 98% score with their... But were they attracted to each other? Yeah, because then it's all this, oh, on paper, mate, this girl's going to be right up your alley. She's going to be great. You see them in real life. There's not that physical attraction here.

But you would be a great partner with them because of your score. Children with less sick days at school. Pretty much. That's what I look for in a partner. One that doesn't take as many sows down your immune system. When you're in the club. Yeah, yeah. Boom, boom, boom.

Hey, baby. Hey, baby. Hey, how are you? What's your immunity like? How many sick days did you take when you were at school? Not many. Oh, yeah. Talk dirty to me.

Don't talk dirty. I don't want to get sick. You probably wouldn't get sick. Wash your hands. Talk hand sanitizer to me. 90 minutes is how long You probably wouldn't get sick though. Wash your hands. Talk hand sanitizer to me. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. 90 minutes is how long it takes Air Canada to fly from Quebec to Toronto. And Tiffany Adams was on that flight on the 9th of June.

She fell asleep on the plane. I mean, make the most of it, right? Squeeze a little nap. Yeah, I love a good plane nap. However, when she woke up, the aircraft was empty, cleared, parked, and with the power off, and she was locked in it for the night.

So they just must have... Oh my god. I don't know, was she slumped in her chair? Well, she must have been little, because like, if you were slumped and you weren't that tall, and you were at the front of the plane, you were like, okay, everyone's off, you just look down. Do they not clean it before they shut it down? Are they going to clean it in the morning?

Maybe not. Maybe not. Maybe, yeah, maybe they do the clean pre-takeoff. Oh, my God. And you think if you were working on the plane, it was the last flight of the day, you just wanted to get home, you'd be like, done, done.

Leave it for them in the morning. Yeah, vacuum in the morning. She woke up around midnight. That was some hours after the flight landed. She said she only woke up because of how cold she was. Right. And it was complete darkness. She didn't know where she was.

She was freaking out. That's some Twilight Zone stuff, eh? Yeah. Like, you just wake up and you'd be like, am I in another dimension? She tried to call a friend because she turned her phone on and called her friend, but then her phone died. Oh. She had a cord to charge it, but the power had been turned off on the plane.

So she can't get out. And then how do you open those doors? Is there any air getting in? No, if you were only one person, there'd be plenty enough air in there, right? Yeah. She eventually broke into the cockpit and got a torch. It's good to know that you can just break into the cockpit. She, well, yeah, like no pilots in there.

Well, they might have even left the door open. Yeah. Well, she said broke into, but then that could have just been given the cockpit. She, well, yeah, like no pilots in there. Well, they might have even left the door open. Yeah. Well, she said broke into, but then that could have just been given the door might have been a bit sticky. She might have just given it a pull. And then she eventually managed to open the door, one of the emergency doors.

And then she was 50 feet up because the plane's on like four wheels and standing right up and everything. Because you don't, you kind of forget, like even a small plane, you go up the steps, you're quite high. Yeah. Like people die falling out of those.

Yeah. Oh, you certainly wouldn't drop. She sat there with her legs dangling out of the aircraft. Yeah. Whilst using the torch that she found to send distress, what she believed to be SOS. Yeah. And then she eventually saw someone driving a luggage cart.

And he said, what the heck's going on? And she said, they left me on the plane. And he's like, how did that happen? She's like, well, I don't know. And she said previous to the thing, to the situation, she'd suffered from anxiety. But now she has night terrors about being stuck on a plane. She's in America or Canada.

She's wanting to sue them. Yeah, I don't know. Maybe. If you were stuck on there, I was like, you can't really like flash its lights like, or to the horn. I'd retract the landing here. I bet they'll move pretty quickly.

Do you know planes have a horn? Do they? Yeah. Do they? Sounds like your car. No. Oh, I was totally. You could have got me there.

I can't believe Vaughn didn't go. You normally always go along with these, Vaughn. No, I thought that you... I thought it might have had some sort of warning device. Yeah, right. If there was anyone I would believe it from, it would be me. You know, because planes... You know when planes are about to take off, and you know...

You've already winked at Vaughn. The pilot's at the front, and they're on their phone, so you just give a little meep-meep, and then they go. He's going back to the truck. Then they go onto the runway, because they're just not paying attention. Like when you're at a giveaway. Right meep and then they go he's going back to the truck then they go through onto the runway because they're just not paying attention like when you're

at a giveaway right right as a warning device it's important to have one or when you fly past another plane in the sky meep meep meep meep

that'll happen it happens it's totally a thing that'll happen yeah great story to tell though yes I mean bad

that it's caused her anxiety and sleep deprivation. I always, as a kid, wanted to be locked in the big supermarket to hide behind the big bags of sugar or something. And then when they locked up, you'd just have free rain in the pick and mix. Yeah. More. That's where I'd want to be.

Does Air Canada give away lollies? Because at least with Air New Zealand, you could find the lollies and the cocky times. Yeah. You could make a survival pack. Yeah. Maybe hate up a chicken or fosh. Do they take... No, I think they'd take them with.

Oh, do they? Okay. They'd definitely take the chicken or fosh with. Yeah, right. Maybe not the lolls, though. You can't leave a manky chicken on the plane overnight. The guys get on a vacuum in the morning, the whole place stinks of a chicken curry.

Yeah. Not a great idea. This is Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. If you enjoyed this podcast, The whole place stinks of like a chicken curry. Yeah. Not a great idea.