ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Megan Podcast - June 25 2019

Episode Date: June 24, 2019

Megan is away today, Doctor accidents and how did your car end up in the water?See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

ZM. Head music. Lives here. Fletch Warner Megan. The podcast. Thank you, Arnie. Good morning. Welcome to the show. Fletch Warner Megan. Minus Megan. No Megan. Who I believe has, again, diarrhea. A tummy bug that has led to quite explosive diarrhea. Very... You know that audible diarrhoea?

Yeah. Well, we don't want to go into... I don't want to go into the details. It's a bit gross. It's really noisy. Producer Caitlin, you're going to have to step up today. Oh, no one's got her microphone on. This is a terrible start.

Excuse me. There we go. I need to defend Megan. Can you not talk about her bowels on air? Well, we're just saying why she's sick. But she never said that. She said she was vomiting. She said no.

Her words were an upset tongue, wasn't it? Which means... Explosive diarrhea. Oh, my God. It's important that when she comes back to work, people say, how is your diarrhea? You guys are terrible. She likes that.

She likes that. I mean, I've been up with a very upset tummy. Now, if she just had a soft stool, she'd say I've got a bit of a sore stomach. But she said a very upset tummy. Oh, well. Oh, my goes. Now, are you going to do Spy, Caitlin? Sure.

Are you going to be in charge of that today? Yes, I can. Great, because I didn't want to. Yeah, no, fair enough. I simply can't take on any more work. Yeah, yeah. Get it how I am. Today on the show, another

$1,000 to give away with our bonus banger. This happens during 90 minutes of non-stop jams from 9 o'clock. We've got $25,000 to give away all up. So we'll give you today's bonus banger after 8.40 on the show. We've got the top six coming up. No, we don't. That's not until after seven today.

And what can only be described as an unprecedented move. From producer Caitlin, a power play. Just put it after seven o'clock. But it's the top six at six. No. That's what it used to be called. It used to be the top six. But then we had a replay at nine, didn't we?

And then they got rid of the nine o'clock hour one hour less work that's okay by me so I never got the replay so now you want to move it to seven to a more prime time spot and I don't I don't go out of my way

to say that you're funny Vaughn but sometimes it is quite funny but it's probably because Megan and Fletcher they're helping with what you say

I do I do quite a lot yeah Fletcher laughs and stuff write your own damn top six alright you lot what you say. I do quite a lot. Yeah, Fletch just laughs and stuff. Write your own damn top six. Alright you lot, listen up. It's story time.

Well, Megan's away, Vaughan. Sick with, as we mentioned, explosive diarrhoea. So it's your pick today for story time. Three news headlines. Pick one. Headline one, free power at a cost. Headline one, free power at a cost.

Headline two, monorail, Airbnb. And headline three, Nashville Angry Birds hot chicken has court date. Nashville's Angry Bird hot chicken has court date. Yeah. You can imagine why. Had something with hot chicken? Threw a hot chicken at somebody. The hot chicken is going to court or the angry bird?

Well, Nashville Angry Birds is being taken to court. It doesn't make sense to me. It's in the name. Nashville Angry Birds. Angry Birds. The game. Yeah. How's the game getting taken to court?

It's not the game. It's Nashville's Angry Birds Hot Chicken. So is the chicken... What's the hot chicken done? Is the hot chicken in trouble? I don't want to explain the story, Vaughn. No, you must because you structured this headline almost indecipherably. They're being taken to court because they've got the same name as Angry Birds.

I mean, it was right there. What's the chicken part got to do with it? Is that the whole name of the restaurant? Yes, that's the whole name of the restaurant. There's a Nashville restaurant called Angry Birds Hot Chicken. Yes. And they're having their day in court. Yes.

Gotcha. The place is called Nashville Angry Birds Hot Chicken. And that is owned by Rovio, the game manufacturer, the Angry Birds label. Yes. And you can't be doing that, can you? You can't have the same name as Angry Birds, no. Right. All the same font.

What was the Airbnb one? Monorail Airbnb. What's it called? Monorail. That's right. Monorail, Monorail, Monorail, Monorail. Simpsons, throwback. Every time.

Every time I see a Monorail, I'm like, Simpsons. Yeah. Yeah. I hear those things are awfully loud. It glides as softly as a cloud. Because remember Sydney used to have a monorail. They were like, that's a great idea. Not even that long ago.

No. Some of the stations are still there. Yeah. They just ripped it out, didn't they? Well, did they put that in for some World Expo-y Olympic Games? I feel like, yeah. Something. But I remember we went on it once.

Didn't we go on it once? Yeah. Way back? And you could literally just go nowhere really. It was a weird amount of monorail. Yeah. It was almost just like a monorail to say you'd gone on a monorail. Pretty much, yeah.

There was no real specific purpose to it. So do you want monorail, Airbnb, or free power at a cost? Monorail, Airbnb. Some guys just turn an old monorail into an Airbnb, right? Pretty much. Righto. So the other one. The other one.

Okay. We go now to Alabama, where a Alabama man thought it would be great to get some free power. Like, wouldn't it be great? Just have some free power. Yep. Well, you didn't have to pay, especially in winter, all the haters running. Yeah, sure.

He's got powers through the roof. He's dead, isn't he? He has been found, Vaughn. Yes. Dead. Badly decomposing and burnt. At the bottom of a ladder? Lead up against a power pole.

I'll read the story. He was found at the bottom of a power pole. The ladder was next to the pole with a belt and jumper cables at the top. Interesting proposition. How is he going to run the... How long were these jumper cables? I'm unsure, but investigators determined that the man, Mr. Stevens, was attempting to illegally power his home by jumping the power lines.

Is that even possible? That's what I don't know. Like, could you just get up and clip on a couple of wires? Like, if you knew what you were doing, probably. Probably. If you knew what you were doing. Because that isn't that technically when it runs off the power lines, that's all that's happening.

But that has to be all, like, official. But if you were an alliance man for the county. And you drove the main road. Yeah. You'd totally be able to do it. Surely. What's stopping you? No one would ever know.

Legality. Oh, you'd lose No one would ever know. Legality. Oh, you'd lose your job if you... Oh, yeah, but it's... Like, if you lived in the middle of nowhere... Yeah. But it's like third world countries. Southeast Asia. Oh, yeah, you see those power lines.

There's so many wires. Apparently, half of those are telephone lines. Oh, okay. And internet cables. Because I put a photo up when we were in Thailand. I mean, like, I love the power lines. And someone's like, actually, like, 90% of those cables are not powered. They're everything else.

Oh, okay. Phone lines. Why don't they dig up internet lines? Put them underground. Too hard. Too much of a knotty mess. You ever tried undoing a knot? Yeah.

Now imagine that one in ten of those wires could electrocute you. Okay, true. Not a good one. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. A study has shown that if you want the healthy swimmers, if you're looking to be a father by way of the traditional manner, then you want to go to bed before 10.30. Okay.

Yeah, you want to get to bed. If you go to bed 11.30 or later, there is a notable deterioration in the health of the sperm. It is believed that a lack of sleep makes the immune system overreact and attack the healthy sperm. Oh, okay. So I don't, like, yeah, that's a bit terrifying to know that. Well, what if you go to bed early but then wake up early?

Well, I guess it would, early Well I guess Yeah I guess It would just be Total hours sleep Right okay The stress and everything Of not enough sleep Also affects the health Of it as well

This was in the Netherlands 104 men With the average age of 34 Were studied over 2 years Tracking sleeping patterns And also Against their sperm health And the difference

Between getting to sleep before 10.30 and after 10.30 was noticeably different. Right. The ones that went to bed earlier had a 2.7 times greater healthiness of the sperm and the quality of everything of the sperm. So get to bed earlier if you want to have the healthy ones. Yeah, right.

Yeah. And not have your immune system attacking it. Obviously, this is my immune system. Your immune system sounds great right now. It's just all over the place. Yeah. Well, I went to bed quite early last night, so. One off.

Probably not in a good way down there. You don't think so? Well, not if you're sounding like that. Right. Not if you're running on that much sleep. Mm. It's just, I think I'm done having children, by the way, though, so. Well, not if you're sounding like that. Right. Not if you're running on that much sleep. It's just, I think I'm done having children by the way though, so. Right, so it's alright then. It's okay. It's okay to have a couple

of late nights every now and then. Does that mean, are you going to get the Vassie? Yeah, at some stage. Yeah. Because that sounds horrible. Before I turn 40. Nah. A mate of mine had it done. And he said, uh... The weirdest part is after you have it done, you're encouraged to play with yourself.

You give it a couple of days. Yeah. And then you're encouraged to play with yourself some 20 times to make sure that everything's cleaned out. You've got to flush everything out. You've got to have a factory reset. And apparently that takes 20 times just to be sure. Right.

Yeah. So, like, I saw him the weekend after he'd had it done. He'd had it done on a Monday. And I said, oh, so what, like a couple more weeks? And he was like, I'm done, mate. There's a problem that you put a challenge ahead of me. I can't help myself. I've got to get out there and knock it off.

And a wink. Wow. So he re of me. I can't help myself. I've got to get out there and knock it off. Wow. And a wink. Wow. So he re-ins. I mean, that was quite... No, he must have been joking, actually, because I think that couple of days, you wouldn't want to. Apparently, it's quite tender.

Right. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. He stayed awake for it all. They give you the option of looking, but the doctor told him not many men can look down and see it. No.

I'll put a towel over my head. But you can't feel it, though, right? I'll just put up one of those barrier things. No. I'll put a towel over my head. But you can't feel it though, right? Just put up one of those barrier things. Oh, I don't know what the options are. Sizzle it. And apparently the smell of it's quite something. Okay, I'd put some nose plugs in. Block your nose.

Shut your eyes. Block your ears. Yep. It's a whole sensory experience. Fleshforn and Megan. The podcast. ZM. Now, stats have come out regarding New Zealand's online shopping spend

for the last year, and it is up on the year before. Last year, we spent, as a country, $4.2 billion online last year, up 16% from 3.6% the year before. That's a solid step up. It's pretty amazing. We trail, compared to other countries around the world. Right. In the OECD.

What's that though? Online Cities Economic Dudes Index. O-E-C-D. No, O-C-E. O-C-D. Do you know, Caitlin? No. OECD.

Like I remember. The Organisation for Economic Co-operation and Development. Yeah, that's it. I remember learning at school. Oh, the headquarters are in Paris. How lovely. Lovely for them. How lovely.

So, yeah, we actually trail quite a lot compared to those other countries. What, like per person? Yeah, like in Australia, there's been way more. Because per capita, that's our game. That's our jam, baby. New Zealand's all about the per capita, isn't it? Yeah. We always box above our weight for per capita.

What did we spend? Sorry, you tell me. So, all up, $4.2 billion.. So all up $4.2 billion. How do I do $4.2 billion? So that would be four, and then the two would be $600,000. And then six zeros? Two of those, then one, two, three. So 1.8 million Kiwis,

about a third of the population shopped online last year. Each shopper clocked an average of 22 transactions or orders throughout the year. Intern Anya, how many have you done this year to date? 50 maybe. So you're shopping for someone else statistically and you've still got half the year to go. So I'm doing the country a favour.

I'm generous. If you want to look at it like that. Have you online shopped since you've been back in the country two days? I am literally shopping for some skincare right now. But that's because we can't get a lot of stuff that the other countries can get. Right? So we have to buy it online. And get it cheaper.

It's cheaper, isn't it? Yeah, exactly. So the average person, I divided $4.2 billion by $4.5 million because that's our population. Yeah. The average person was spending... The numbers were so big, I had to turn my phone sideways. Yeah.

Oh, no, I've bullshitted. I've pushed something wrong. But about $950. Wow, okay. Per person, per year on online shopping. That's actually pretty cheap. But that includes everybody. That includes nannies.

So if your nanny didn't shop online, someone's got to pick up hers. I've got a nanny. She would never have shopped online. Kids. Out of the $4.2 billion, about $1 from every three is spent with an overseas retailer. Oh, right. So a lot of it is still online shopping, but within New Zealand.

Yeah, a lot is. And then a quite significant portion is online shopping with an overseas retailer. Yeah, so in places like Australia, the US and Britain, they're anywhere between 10% and 18% of their stuff is online shopping. Wow. Whereas New Zealanders is like way down. Okay.

And it's only probably going to get higher. Well, yeah, exactly. A lot of old people don't like shopping. But we're just lazy, eh? Like it's so much easier. Yeah. Because you just lie in bed and you're like, I need a dress. My mum's a big one for the daily deals.

She'll buy stuff. She'll message me. Oh, there's a rabbit hutch. I'm like, what do I want a rabbit hutch for? Rabbits. Didn't the girls want rabbits? I'm like, yeah, well, the girls want a whole lot of stuff they're not getting. We're not getting bloody rabbits.

You could probably use that for a chicken coop. I was like, well, okay, mum, I'll have a look at it. Let me know. I was like, oh, I don't know what I'm going to let you know. The next day she messages, there's a Swiss ball on there. When are you talking about a Swiss ball?

I was like, yeah, like a while ago. Can Christine start messaging me? I think I need these deals. When she finds the deals. Yeah. Yeah, and she'll buy, she likes Wish.

She's one of those people. Oh, yeah. I don't know, I don't think she's bought anything off Wish, but yeah, my sister-in-law's always saying, interesting, because it says,

Christine likes Wish, and then underneath there's this penis torture device. I was going to say, they have some dodgy stuff, eh? There's the fart pants where you put them on and they catch your fart. And there's like a charcoal or a coal lining to the pants so it neutralises the fart stink before it can escape.

There's the penis torture device. There's the fake penis that you can put clean urine in and pass a drug test with. What's your mum been putting in her Google that this is targeting her? She just likes Wish. So when Wish do advertising, just general advertising, it tells you which one of your friends likes Wish. So it comes up with your mum. Mum likes Wish penis torture device. That was your mum. Mum likes Wish penis torture device.

Yeah, wow. That was a real step up, that penis torture device. Yeah. That was like the level of when they were selling those $2 glass pipes. Remember that? Yeah. Everyone's like, I don't know if you can just like advertise pee pipes like that. Yeah.

ZM's Fletch Warner Megan, the podcast. Now, I found a story. This has been running for 18 months in New Zealand, and I'm pretty sure there are quite a few of these apps out there and around the world, but it's kind of like Tinder but for pets. So if you want to meet some animals, play with some animals, you just log into these apps, all these websites. This one, Share My Pet, it's been going in New Zealand for 18 months.

It's got about 650 members nationwide. Oh, you want to whittle out the creeps, though? Well, you don't want a creep playing with your... Labradoodle. Labradoodle. Yes, yes. Or your RetroDoodle. No.

Or any of your doodles. Yeah. And, yeah, basically you can share pets. So I'm imagining if you're working all day and there's someone out there that loves dogs, maybe doesn't want the full-time responsibility, they could take your dog and walk it. I mean, I'm guessing you have to register and trust these people.

Trust. Trust in this day and age. But that's the thing, like, because one of my best friends, her dog Minnie, is always inside a, well, they've got like a little outdoor area as she's at work and she works really long days. And I love dogs, so I just have a key to her house and I just go around and play with Minnie when I works really long days. And I love dogs.

So I just have a key to her house and I just go around and play with Minnie when I'm free. Right. And then that is a win-win for everyone. Because then you get to play with the dog. Does Minnie ever go to like a daily daycare situation? Sometimes. Yeah. Yeah.

But it's very expensive. So she could get on this app. Yeah. Find someone like you. But then again, you've got to trust them, don't you? Because this is like your pride and joy, your dog. It's like children. But this is the thing like so many of us want dogs but we can't have them because

we can't A afford them or B have them at our rented flats. Oh yeah that's true because what does your flatmate do? Doesn't she? Yeah she hangs out with Frank. I'll show you a photo. What's Frank a long hahaired dash hound? Yeah, he's a dash hound.

It's on the Dog Share Collective. And so she met up with the owner. The Dog Share Collective? Yeah. It's like connecting find your new best friend. I'm just looking at it now. It's pretty cute. Is this a New Zealand app? Right, okay. So I think

it just works like Tinder. So you swipe through and you're like, I like that dog, I don't like that dog. That dog's ugly. Yeah. That dog would be like, Oh, hot dog. Got no time for those dogs. Oh, hey.

No time for them. So she met up with the owner and they went to the park or something for a little bit and she met Frank and then Frank started hanging out with her at work for a bit and so now she just like hangs out with him when she can. I know dogs are different than cats, but it would be so hard to trust. Like what if your dog just took off or it got run over and you're looking after someone's dog?

Yeah, well, I wouldn't want that pressure. Yeah, but babysitters do it with kids. I mean, there's probably a bit more of a selective. Yeah, you want to be, yeah. You're not just giving someone a kid at your house and say, I'll go and the kids

are home alone. They'll need some biscuits and run around the lawn. But if someone was like, I want to look after Ralph for the day or I'll take him for a walk. You'd be like,

sweet. I'd say, don't bring him back. He's yours now. Are you just doing that thing where you pretend to hate it but you really like it? Oh, he has his moments. There's moments where he's cute but not you pretend to hate it But you really like it Oh He has his moments

There's moments where he's cute But not But mostly hate it Yeah Yeah Because like There was all these agreements Before we got a second dog

Like I'm not picking up his shit Yeah Guess who picks up all of his shit This guy Vaughn Smith Yeah Yeah

I'm not I'm you know It can't be in this part of the house It's in that part It just walks in that part of the house. Like, oh, I just got ignored, basically. Yeah, right. Classic. Yeah.

Classic. I mean, it's mostly on me. I should have learnt by now. You should have. I have not learnt. Flesh, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast, ZM. More calls to 111 in 2018 than any other previous year. Oh, is that scary?

Should we be worried? Yeah, it's ever increasing. Question, pop quiz. Yep. What's the new number that you call? 105. 10-5. Is that it?

105? Yeah. What is 10-5? Is that a police code or something? Yeah. Because that's the number that they've just launched this year. Non-emergency. Yeah. 10-5. Is that a police code or something? Yeah. Because that's the number that they've just launched this year. Non-emergency. Yeah. So if your neighbour's got loud music or something

you'd call 10-5. You'd probably call the council, eh? Free up that 111. Okay. Did you find out what it means? 10-5? Because you have police 10-7, that means something too, doesn't it? Isn't that like first to scene or something? I don't know. They came up with a cool jig for it. I can't remember it, but that's how I remember it.

A jig is a dance. You meant a jingle. Oh, sorry, like a jingle. Yeah, yeah. One, oh, five. No, I can't remember. What, like you can't remember three numbers? Like a jingle's always for a,

If you need you cop it, call 834-7754. 834-7754. And then that gets in your head. It's like 105. Just remember that, guys. No, because you could be 7, 5, 4. No, because... And then that gets in your head. It's like 105. Just remember that, guys. No, because you could be like, oh, 102. What's the next number to 111? Or you'd be like 112.

No, it's too close to 111. You should have gone 112. No, it's too close. You'd slip. Well, 113. Because then there's a buffer of the two. Yeah, okay. I'll give you that one.

There's a bit of a gap there. Yeah, 112. They should have gone 112. Do you know... But then what's that one before you dig? 124? 123? That's 124 before you dig.

Before you dig what? Before you dig a hole. Before you dig anything. Because there might be some cables down there. Yeah. Oh, I thought you meant to bury dead bodies. No, you don't need to call the police before you do that. Hi, I'm just about to bury a body in my backyard.

I just wanted to go. That's okay with you guys. Do you know if you call like 911 or the other... It goes through. Yeah, to 111. I know that. It never used to, eh? No, but it does now.

I learnt that at my first day course, guys. Then it'll automatically go through. Because we've got so many like police shows from overseas. Yeah, I can't find...

Oh, police 10-7's arrived at job. A 10-4 is... What is this? 105. Out of service for a short time. But it's now obsolete.

They don't use that anymore. Oh, right. Okay. But that's what 105 was. That was probably just a number they got allocated. We'll make that work. Well, it says it's obsolete. They don't use it anymore.

Oh, I remember the jingle. Call 10-5. 10-5. 10-5. It's like that. They just repeated it a whole lot of times. Yeah. Sure.

Yeah. So, yeah, the numbers of people dialing 111 have gone up. 879,000 calls to 111. So that's gone up year on year for the last, like, five years. Here's something that I found probably the most interesting stat out of the whole thing is that by April 30th this year, so year end, seven and a half out of ten burglaries reported were residential and most happened in the early afternoon.

So the most popular time for burglaries of your home, early afternoon. That is like so ballsy. I could never bring myself to do that. Literally the brightest time of the day. Yeah. But that's when it's least expected, right? When you could probably most likely pass yourself off as... High-vis. Oh, the water meter day. Yeah. But that's when it's least expected, right? When you could probably most likely pass yourself off as... High-vis.

Oh, the water meter reader. Yeah. Or the power company guy. Because if someone was walking, because my house is down the back of my landlord's house. If someone walked around the back of their house, I probably wouldn't think anything of it. Because I don't know who... You don't know all their friends and stuff. Yeah.

Right. But you always know it's friends and stuff. Yeah. Right. But you always know it's a burglar because they wear that ski mask. And they've got a bag with dollar signs written on it. Ah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's how you can spot them. Very easy. And if you spot them, don't bugger around with your new Flash 10.5. Go old school. Yep. 1-1-1.

Fletchvorna Megan, the podcast. ZM. Fletchvorna Megan, minus Megan, who has explosive diarrhea today unfortunately Wildly explosive Wildly, hopefully she'll be back with us tomorrow, 4 past 7 I mean I wouldn't show my face around here for a couple of days Let it blow over She won't be able to go in a public swimming pool

because they always have the signs up What? You're not meant to go swimming in a public swimming pool if you've had diarrhea in the last like 2 weeks or 10 days What? You're not meant to go swimming in a public swimming pool if you've had diarrhea in the last, like, two weeks or ten days. What? Really? Or please don't tell me you've been swimming after a pool. Well, I don't go in public pools that often.

Right. I do. But I took the girls to swimming lessons last night. I didn't see any signs warding those with the squirts off. No, there are signs. It's a thing. What if you haven't been sick but you just, like, had a booze-pooze this morning? That's fine.

That's okay Yeah that's fine Can I just speak To the pool supervisor I just had a Burning hot vindaloo And it That's fine

It evacuated itself Shall we say When you have like A tummy bug Or giardia Or whatever Because it can get Into the water

Because you know I've had giardia A couple of times You get the pamphlet In the mail From the district Health board Because you can't

Control it So besides your name Now in the District Health Board files, two black marks for Giardia. If you get it, because they want to follow it up and ask you where you got it. Right. I was overseas, wanted to email me and find out where I'd been. Right.

I don't know, some bad food. Track down patient zero. Right. Well, now that we know about diarrhea and public pools. Thank you. I'm all for saving the world because it turns out one of the keys to saving the world is going to be a four-day work week. One of the most efficient ways of reducing our carbon footprint is

not going to work five days a week. Just you think about everything that's involved in going to work. There's the travel to get there. Yeah, you coming to work today, that's using your car, it's using petrol. And I always stop and do like three skids on the way in.

So that's like some black smoke getting up into the atmosphere and stuff. And then people would buy coffees and you not take, like, not keep cups. Yeah, true. You go and get sushi for lunch and you're using your plastic containers. Yep, yep, yep.

All these sorts of things. Energy at work for your computer. Yep. I mean, you probably would use that at home anyway. Yeah, so what do you do things. Energy at work for your computer. Yep. I mean, you probably would have used that at home anyway. Yeah, so what do you do at home? Just sit in the dark. Yep. So I actually found this really lovely little infographic

on the best ways we can reduce our carbon footprints. Footprints. Well, if we're walking, that's two feet, isn't it? Yeah. Carbon feet print. Yeah. So doing things like upgrading your light bulbs that's like

at the low impact I've got LEDs is that what they mean yeah but then I read LEDs are really bad for you if you have all LEDs

that's messing with our sleep as well if you have them on just before you go to sleep you gotta do the switch yeah but I'm just saying apparently it's the LED light itself

but this is where you have to compromise because is it gonna be bad for yourself or bad for the earth? Well, you know, I'm thinking the upgrade in the light bulbs, that's at the very low end of things.

Yeah. Hanging your clothes out to dry is where we move into moderate impact. Oh, okay. So hanging your clothes out rather than using the dryer, which is a high use device. You know that the dryer is fabric suicide.

Oh, yes. Don't never use the dryer unless you absolutely have to. Well I bought some new undies and Shade put them in a hot dryer and well they're ruined. They're absolutely ruined. Did they go the wrong ways or up? They went up. Because undies are weird how they like go, they'll just shrink up or something. Oh it's all up

in my ass now and there's like all the fabric bunches up where my thigh gap should be. So you're saying it's Shade's fault.es up yeah where my thigh gap should be so you're saying it's sharday's fault it's certainly not my fault for putting on weight i shan't be taking the blame okay for my winter chub yeah uh recycling that's in moderate impact as well washing your clothes in cold water blah blah blah yeah uh replacing a typical car with a hybrid now i would have thought that would have been in the high impact, but no, that's in the moderate as well. Yeah, right.

That's in the moderate. Oh, God, here we go. Eat a plant-based diet. That's where we start moving into the high impact. But even then, that's still, like, not massive. Yeah. Switching from electric car to being completely car-free. Me.

That's you, Fletch. But then I'll e-scooteroter and they take power, don't they? But that's still on the lighter end of things. Minimal. Minimal. Buying green energy, which isn't like always an option. We're just going to have to take whatever power we're offered, right? Yeah.

Here's interesting. Next up, how to avoid it. And this is like twice as much as the plant-based diet. Avoid one medium haul flight. Your carbon footprint with flying, Fletch. Yeah, you're a well-travelled polluter. I know. Maybe it evens it out because you don't need a car.

Oh, but I definitely tick that box. It adds an extra $10 to the flight. The carbon offset. Yeah. What do they do with that? I've never seen the airlines out planting trees. I know. That's a very good point.

We should hold them to account. I'm ticking that box. I want to see my tree. Well, we need to find out. They should actually put your little name on it. And if it's like what you did was a third of the tree, you and two other people's name gets put on the tree. Then you've got to pay for the plaque.

No, beside the tree on a little stake. Oh, yeah, and the plaque. Yeah. The plaque starts to get more expensive. You could be like, would you like to offset your carbon footprint and brag about it by having a plaque? And then that's an extra $5.

They should just email you or just share a thing that you can put on Facebook so you can brag about it. But is it planting trees? Like, is there other things? It's like the ocean and stuff. How do you offset your carbon footprint other than planting a tree?

Like, the easiest way other than planting a tree? Like the easiest way is to plant a tree, right? Right. Until they perfect those, you know, those ocean farms that are going to be like those massive, like, algaes or whatever. Yeah, right. Because they're like way better at churning out carbon dioxide and turning it into oxygen. Okay. But they...

So that's kind of the big... Is that the big one? The biggest one. To save the planet. The biggest, easiest thing you can do to save the planet. No straws. No straws. Have one fewer child. Oh. So actually out of all of us, you're the one that's

ruining the planet more. No, because I plan to have eight children and I've only had two. So technically I've saved us heaps. Oh, right. So you're just going to stop at two and not have eight. Yes. So does it say how many children we should be having? None. No, it just says if you say it's all on what you plan to have. If you plan to have three children by only having two,

you are like, look at this graph. I'm talking everything else combined because you think you're just bringing another human into it. Oh, wow. You're bringing another person who could potentially contribute all of this. Yeah, right. Wow. So by not.

So stop having kids. Or stop having as many kids. We've got enough. Or just have one less than you were planning on having. We've got billions of people in the world. We don't need any more of those screaming kids. No, but babies. Yeah, because what's going to happen,

the other end of the thing is, we're going to get to retirement age and there's going to be nobody working to pay tax to help us be old people. Yeah, well... Just jump on a well, should have thought of that. Just jump on a boat and the richest people survive. From the ZM Think Tank, this is the Top Six. Hello there.

It is now my pleasure to give you some Morrinsville news. This is a small eastern Waikato town. Home to the Prime Minister. And Vaughan Smith. Correct. You're too great. In New Zealand. Morrinsvillians.

Right, right. Well, a young man, Austin, has been banned from future Morrinsville Intermediate School discos. Goodness. Apparently, he took his shirt off at the disco. Yep. Waved it around his head. Yep. And threatened to jump off the stage.

Yes. The headlines is jumping off stage. But if you've read more into the story, he threatened to jump off the stage. He's like, I'm going to do it. I don't know. He's like 11. He sounds like he was just having a good time. Yeah.

What a dude. Shirt off, just woo! At the moment, they ran around waving their shirts. There was two of them. Well, they had multiple boys, yes. Right. Two 11-year-olds. It was Austin and his mate, but Austin's mate's gone mum on it.

He's gone underground. Whereas Austin's gone to the media. Yeah. Now, apparently this happened in April, so there must be another disco coming up. Right. From my recollection, we had won a term. Really? Yeah.

Okay. Well, they were a moneymaker, mate. They were a moneymaker. It was a couple of bucks to get in. Yeah. And then everybody wanted a fizz when they got in. That was a buck. Yeah.

Sausage roll, probably another buck. Yeah. Ten bucks. Did you take a hip? Have yourself a hell of a night. Did you take a hip flask? It was an intermediate. Oh, intermediate.

Oh, right. Somebody probably took a hip flask. How old was this kid? Eleven. Eleven, intermediate. Oh, right. Somebody probably took a hip flask. How old was this kid? 11. 11. Brilliant. Shirt off. Woo, woo, woo.

Intermediate age. Obviously, now his family's saying it's not really fair that he's not allowed to go just because he was having a good time. He didn't break the rules. He didn't take his pants off. Yeah, if he'd been taking his pants off and he was doing the helicopter, then fine. Ban him. He'd be like a gyrocopter at that he was doing the helicopter, then fine. Ban him. Be like a gyrocopter at that age more than a helicopter, wouldn't it?

He didn't incite violence or whatever. No, he's fine. Just let him dance. Free the nipple. Yeah. At the dance. So I've got today's top six sick moves. I wish I'd pulled at the Morozov Intermediate Disco.

Yes. This is I'm taking you back to the 90s. Okay. It was a wild time. I tell you, I've got a memory of the Morisville Intermediate Disco that's just popped into my head. It was the time of hyper-coloured T-shirts. Oh, yes.

Familiar with hyper-coloured T-shirts, Caleb? Why haven't they made a comeback? I don't know, but they were rad. So you'd get a T-shirt, it would be like green, and you'd put your hand on it, and the warmth would change the colour of the T-shirt. Wow. And so you could take it off

and it would be like purple. So you could like put them over your boobs and then take them off and it looked like you had some... The pants didn't go down well because if you got excited you had to kind of show up.

You'd be rubbing it to try to get away but then it'd be heating the whole area. It would look like the whole thing was on fire. What was it made out of? Cotton. I don't know what.

Yeah, magic. Looking back on it they had to soak that in something. What was it made out of? Cotton. I don't know what. Yeah, magic. What did it cause? Looking back on it, like they had to soak that in something. Maybe it was a carcinogenic or something. Maybe we all got like sick from it and we didn't know. Yeah. All right. Number six on the list of the top six sick moves.

I wish I'd pulled it tomorrow into Middy at School Disco. The sprinkler up on the stage. Imagine getting the sprinkler out. But you're like, that sounds pretty ordinary. But just before you do the sprinkler, you grab the mic off the DJ But you're like, that sounds pretty ordinary. But just before you do the sprinkler, you grab the mic off the DJ and you're like, who's ready to get wet? And then you just go like, chugga, chugga, chugga, chugga, chugga, chugga.

Chugga, chugga, chugga, chugga, chugga, chugga. That would, sick move. And a leave-in, yep. Would certainly raise some eyebrows from the teaching staff. Number five on the list of the top six sick moves I wish I'd pulled off at the Morison Intermediate School Disco. Wore a Tasmanian Devil t-shirt to one of the discos too.

It was my favourite t-shirt. Mum and Dad bought it back from one of their trips overseas. Oh, did they? It was like my pride and joy. Like when the t-shirt got holes and stuff, I'd cut the material Tasmanian Devil out and stuck it to my wall. Aww. I love the Tasmanian Devil.

Still a real great cartoon. Yes. Number five on the list of the top six sick moves I wish I pulled at the Morrison Intermediate School Disco is doing the Macarena to a song that isn't the Macarena. Outrageous. Okay. Yeah.

You can almost, you know, doing that, you can also almost imagine the student teacher saying, he's a bad kid. Yeah. He's a bad kid, but I like the cut of his jib. He's a rebel. He's a rule breaker. Number four on the list of the top six sick moves

I wish I pulled at the Moronsville Intermediate School Disco. Starting a conga line. Hello. Just being like, grab on. That's hard, though, when you can't keep up and it's a bit embarrassing because you're like, if there's not enough people and you're going fast. Yeah, or what's really like,

this might have happened to me, I might have repressed the memory, but like the conga line's going and you wait for like the hot person to get on the end of the conga line and you try to grab onto them. And they look back and they're like, oh, not you. Let the other guy hold me. And you're like, yeah. Just take my Tasmanian devil t-shirt over here. Oh, boy.

I'm always guaranteed that actually happened. Heartbreaking. Number three on the list of the top six sick moves. I wish I'd pulled at the Moral's All Intermediate School Disco. I wish. Get this. There's a dance comp going on, but where's Vaughn? He's not there.

What's he doing over at the janitor's cupboard? He's opening it. He's got a mop and or broom. He's starting his own limbo competition. He took that broom without permission. What a badass. And now he's getting people, whoa, how low can you go?

Sick move. Yeah, sick move. Starting the limbo comp. Number two on the list of the top six. Sick moves. I wish I pulled it the Marzlin Intermediate School Disco. Again, a reminder, this was in the 90s because jackson bad comes on and you're like every he's still good yeah and everybody's box yeah um so you get on stage and it's michael jackson bed

crotch grab oh oh sick move how sick i know very, but it pays dividends. I remember that time he grabbed his crotch on stage. Yeah, he was wearing a hyper-coloured pants. And then he had the hot mark on his pants for the rest of the night. And the number one on today's top six sick moves I wish I pulled at the Morrinsville Intermediate School Disco, the chicken dance. And you know when it gets to that part where you spin your partner around? Like there's the... Clap, clap, clap, clap. And you know when it gets to that part where you spin your partner around? Like there's the clap, clap, clap, clap.

And then there's that and you start spinning your partner really, really fast. Like really dangerously fast. So fast their feet get off the ground. And you're just like an absolute chaotic propeller of chicken dancing. They do that in a type of dance

where they've got those big skirts and they swing them around. Yeah, and they get them up off the ground. Rock and roll dancing? Rock and roll! Rock and roll dancing, get them off the ground. That's from the 60s or whatever? Spin them around real fast.

That is today's top six. I've just Googled. Yeah. Hypercoloured T-shirts, a line of clothing. Between Feb and May 1991, they sold 50 million hyper-coloured garments. Whoa. They went bankrupt due to mismanagement and fading demand in 1992.

I think it's time to bring them back. Yeah. Hipsters would dig it. Oh, absolutely. And you just put a hand on the bum and then that would look different colour. Yeah, like creepy. Wow.

Yeah. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. Now, producer Caitlin, I know that you're not watching this season of Love Island because you're trying to be a better person. Yes, Megan and I have boycotted it. I have a lot more time on my hands.

What about your wife? Well, she is busy when it's on telly, so she doesn't watch that. And she said, can you illegally acquire that for me? And I said, shard, eh? Please don't ask me to be a lawbreaker on your behalf. So she's watched the first couple of episodes,

but not really. So I'm hoping like the hype wears off and she's not interested in watching it. She's got better things to do. But then you liked it. She should read a book or something. Because then she was busy. Yeah, no, but okay.

Here's a twist for you. We've found a video game the whole family can play together. We played Crash Team Racing. It just came out last week. Call it Judy. Nah, the kids are a bit. Don't get me wrong. My kids hate Nazis as much as the next guy.

Yeah, right. They're a weak team member. Like they can't control the vertical. Nah, they haven't quite got the grab, the spatial awareness of the 3D sort of movement of the figure. But Crash Team Racing. But you're all playing together. All four of us, yeah. On the same TV.

It's a real hark back to the old days of pre-internet gaming. It's great. The reason I ask, how do you feel when you watch that show? Do you feel worse about yourself? Oh, 100%. Well, sometimes I feel better because I'm like, at least I'm not, you know, on this show, sitting there talking about relationships every day.

Yeah, yeah. I'm at home talking about relationships every day. A poll's come out in the UK that showed that two-thirds of men, surveyed men, admitted watching the show makes them feel insecure. Oh, I can see that. Because the dudes are pretty ripped. Yeah, and they don't wear any clothes. They're also like half of them are dumb as a plank as well.

So you can't worry too much. Like everybody wants something, you know? Well, yeah, that's true. So the results showed 64% of the men said the negative feelings related to their body image. 35% were concerned about their facial appearance. So after watching, 44% of those surveyed said they felt bad about their life experiences. 62% claimed they looked up online personal trainers

and also other people searched teeth whitening, spray tan technicians and even surgeons after watching Love Island. And that's just men. I thought spray tans and that would get a boost. I hadn't thought about the fact that personal trainers probably quite like it when these shows are on. Because it definitely would boost their business, right?

Some guys are like, I've been going to the gym on and off for ages and I'm not getting those results. Maybe the thing that's lacking is a personal trainer. Yeah. But the last couple of seasons I watched, there was always one guy that was like, didn't have the six pack or wasn't as ripped with the little side abs.

Yeah. But still wasn't like, if you were, they never cast an obese person, do they? No, shivers no. Like he was a normal sized person. But he was definitely, like all the ladies loved him. Like he was by far. Would you say dad bod?

A bit more of a dad bod, more popular. Did they love him or did they want to, like, talk to him about the other guys? Was he full-blown friend zone? No, no, no, no. He got all the girls. And he was, it's because he was funny. And he had, like, a brain. Right.

But I'm just so much better Without it guys Like I've been watching Documentaries Yeah I've been reading books Yeah I've been Hanging out with my boyfriend more

Yeah Well you've got a boyfriend now So you don't have a boyfriend If you didn't have a boyfriend You'd be watching this whole season No because You 100% would No because it makes you feel

Inadequate for not having a boyfriend Right You just get lonely And you're like Oh man They didn't have a boyfriend That's why they went on the island Yeah It shouldn't make you feel inadequate for not having a boyfriend. Right. You just get lonely and you're like, oh, man. They didn't have a boyfriend. That's why they went on the island. It shouldn't make you feel inadequate about it. No, but then they get boyfriends and cuddles.

Your desperation for a boyfriend never got to the point where you went to an island. Oh, God. It was close. It was close. It was close. It was really close. What a great podcast so far. Wouldn't you agree, Fletch?

Yes. And it's all thanks to Spark. Get one gig of bonus data with the Spark U25 pack. Now, back to the podcast. What we're about to talk about, I don't want the medical community to take this as an attack. Oh, okay. At all.

You guys did great work. That goes across the board for everybody involved in the life-saving industry of medicine. Having said that, though. Having said that. There's been a mistake. In Australia, this is in Australia, at the Northern Beaches Hospital,

there's an investigation going on because a cancer patient went in to have a part of their bowel removed because they had bowel cancer and they removed the wrong half of the bowel. So obviously then surgery was needed to take the actual part that they

needed to get in the first place and then surgery thus to make up for the initial mistake. Because when Megan, who's away sick today, when she had her hip operation, they drew on it with vivid, didn't they? Heavily, heavily. This side, this side. But you hear about it and even in New Zealand,

people have had that happen when they operate on the wrong part of the body. Yes. It happens? Yeah. And well, I mean, in this situation it could have been apparently, I mean, I don't know anything about surgery, surprisingly enough. It could have been like a reverse x-ray or something. There's a massive investigation

as to where it went wrong. But they do how many surgeries a day? You're talking percentages now. You're saying it's not that bad. Like, imagine only one in a hundred. No, but I'm just thinking if I'm a doctor, I'd be exhausted. But by that argument, Caitlin,

you're saying that every pilot's got to have at least 10 plane crashes in their career. No, I'm trying to put myself in the shoes of the doctor. Not plane crashes, but like full of sleep. Bad land. Right. Full of sleep when you're like coming into land in Wellington. Yeah, I guess it's the same thing.

And then you're like, whoa. And it moves hard. And he's just like, sorry, but ladies and gentlemen, you know what Wellington's like? And everyone's like, yeah, yeah, we do. This place is crazy. Sure. Yeah. I mean, we make mistakes all day, every day ladies and gentlemen, you know what Wellington's like? And everyone's like, yeah, yeah, we do. This place is crazy. Sure. Yeah.

I mean, we make mistakes all day, every day in our job, but we're not saving lives, so. I don't make mistakes, for the record. For the management that are listening. You make mistakes daily. Mistake free. I make a mistake,

a song accidentally stops playing or starts. Yeah, or there's five seconds of silence while we're watching the cricket, like last week. You just forgot. That was bad. You know, no one dies. seconds of silence while we're watching the cricket like last week. You just forgot. You know, no one dies. No. But if we'd been on a plane

and we'd been watching the cricket and we'd missed our airport but we'd just say that no one would die. You'd just say that there was a delay. Technical difficulties. Yeah.

Easy. I mean, that's it. Pilots have got these got these lies ready to go. Locked and loaded. Doctors, that's a, pilots have got these, got these lies ready to go. Locked and loaded. Doctors, however, Yeah. little more to lose

on a whoopsie daisy. So I'd like to know, has there ever been a doctor whoopsie daisy, a medical whoopsie daisy? Because you had the, the dental thing where they left a,

they left a rod in. A sprog. A sprog? What's a sprog? No, I don't know. I don't know if that's the actual word. But it's like the top of that, I don't know. I don't know if that's the actual word.

But it's like the top of that, yeah, the metal thing broke off inside my tooth and he left it there. Well, first of all, he went in on the wrong tooth. And I was like, ah, wrong side of the mouth. Like he had to numb that one. No, yeah, he went to go on the other side and I was like, that's not where my tooth hurts. He's like, you weren't upside down before, but now you're lying down and I'm coming at you from the other way. So, Sozzies, it's my first week.

It's my first week. I only studied six years to get here. I had a big weekend out on my boat. You wouldn't be able to be hung over doing any of those jobs, eh? Oh, hell no.

So, okay, so take some calls. When have you had a medical whoopsie? Yeah, when has there been a medical whoopsie? Especially if they've operated on the wrong thing. In New Zealand, is there any form of payout?

Because in America, you'd sue, right? Yeah, you would. Because your health insurance would want you to sue because everything over there is not like public sector. Yeah, I don't know. Situation, but medical insurance would. I think here, they just give you a box of roses, a cheap bottle of champagne and say thanks.

Sozzies. Yeah, right, right. My, if I was going to sue or not, would depend on how many of those roses were those yucky orange ones. The hard ones. Yeah, if there was too many of them, I'd be straight to my lawyer. Okay, 0800DARLS.M. Give us a call now.

You can text 9696. Have you been involved in a medical whoopsie? I would love to hear if anyone's had the wrong part of their body operated on in New Zealand. That would just blow me away, I reckon. I would imagine it would happen. Because you'd just like to think it wouldn't happen here. We're talking about medical whoopsies. If they happen in an Australian private hospital, which is relatively new,

I removed the wrong half of the bowel. Easy mistake to make. I mean, there's a whole bowel. You take, you're meant to take half. You take the wrong half. Well, and if you go half

long ways instead of half sideways, you might as well take out the whole thing, right? I guess so. There's a lot of halves,

a lot of things go wrong, but I mean, we haven't been at medical school and surgical specialists for that long. Hearing some of these medical whoopsies,

these stories, lucky I'm not going in for an operation anytime, so scaring the hell out of me. I went in for a hand operation. I did all the pre-op checks. There was some paperwork. I saw somebody's hand do an R. And I thought, hmm.

So I had a little bit of a squiz. I could see an R written down. And I said, what does that mean? And they said, right hand. And they said, it's my left hand. And they said, yeah, but it's my right when I'm looking at you. Do you think they were? I think they were covering up.

I think they were covering up. Yeah. Because that's something I would say. Oh, my God. Yeah. You'd say stage left, right? Yeah. You'd be like the patient.

You wouldn't be like, okay, when you're looking at the patient, it's on the right. But what if the doctor, like, couldn't tell the difference, like, you know, struggled with the left and right? Sarah, what was the medical whoopsie? Well, my husband's grandmother went in to get a hip replacement. They replaced the wrong hip. In New Zealand?

This happened, like, recently. No, it was about 15 years ago. And it was at Auckland Hospital 15, 20 years ago. And that's when they started marking people because it was in the news at the time. So they replaced the other side as well. Well, she might have needed it. Yeah, she might have needed it done in the future. Yeah, it wasn't a great recovery though.

She was like 80-something. Oh, yeah, that would have taken a while. Sarah, thanks for your call. Ali, what was the medical whoopsie? I had to have a surgery on my big toe, and they cut a little bit too much off. Oh, my God. Do you have, like, half a big toe?

I want to say it's about three-quarters of a big toe. Oh, no. But I didn't have to pay for my painkillers. Well, that's a bonus. Was that all? They were just like, oh, sorry, we can't put it back. Yeah. Is it like a nice round kind of cut or is it like a real hard, like, down?

It's a hard, straight line down the inside of my toe. Oh, God. Is it too much to go and botch and get it like around a bit? Around a toe. Around a toe. How would they round that toe? I don't know. Plump it up with some silicone.

It's close to the bone. Oh, my gosh. Oh, okay. Do you feel off balance? Yes, I did have to learn a bit of balance again after to regain having, learning how to live with less toe. Oh. That's okay. I'm not laughing, sorry. regain learning how to live with less toe. Okay,

because you wouldn't think that a little bit of one toe would do much, but I guess it is like the big toe, isn't it? I've always had it. Could you put like a little something at the end so it wouldn't work, would it? No, not quite. It didn't quite work. Like plasticine or something?

Round off the toe? Or buy some modelling clay. And then harden something? Round off the dough? Yeah. Or buy some modelling clay. And then harden it up in the kiln? Yes. Paint it and then attach it. I'm glad you're laughing, Ellie. Yeah.

I'm aware the workshop could work something out, I reckon. Thanks for your call, Ellie. Beth, what was the medical whoopsie? I was in a car accident when I was 17. Went to the hospital, got some x-rays. They said I was all fine. For four months, I couldn't turn my head left or right. Went back to the hospital and I've broken my back in three places.

Gee, Beth, how did you wait four months? I would have been there the next day. Ow, can't turn. My mum didn't believe me. She thought I was lying, so she felt really bad after the show. I was going to say, how bad did mum feel? I bet terrible. Yeah, real bad.

Thanks for your call, Beth. Lots of texts. Lots of texts. This is not making me feel good. No, no, no. Somebody said, yeah, I got operated on the wrong arm, but I woke up and I'd done the actual one as well. So I just had a scar on one.

Oh, God. And the other one had actually been operated on. Get some bio oil on that scar. Some olive oil as well. All your oils. Some Castrol motor oil. Sure. Some margarine.

Get it all done. Yeah, a couple of other people saying they're the wrong hip replacement. Wow, that's crazy. That's not the first time that's happened. Okay. Yeah. My dad was in Wellington Hospital a while ago.

The nurse came and took some blood right before they were due to put him under and said, can I confirm your name is Gary Allen? And my dad's like, my name's Wayne. And she said, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, my God. So we always wondered what the hell Gary Allen was having done to him, but Dad almost woke up with Gary Allen's operation. Oh, God.

Oh, God. Good to confirm, though. Good to ask these questions. That's why they are. ZM's Fletch Warner Megan, the podcast. A new study has revealed that women's possessions take up twice as much room as men's. Is that true in your case, though?

Because you are a hoarder The shed But then it's our lawnmower It's our angle grinder You know, these are our hammers Is it? It's our toolbox What's mine is yours

Yeah Are we talking about in the bedroom like clothes? So it's inside the house Right, so the shed doesn't count. The average family home, woman's belongings take up two thirds of the available storage space. Okay. With men saying, that's why we've got a store

or that's why the garage is full of our stuff, because we can't get any inside storage. And plus you can't leave your angle grinder inside. Says who? It's in the hot water cupboard. It'll never get wet. True. Always be ready to go. Right. So you wanted to get some couples on this morning. Yes.

And ask them if this lines up with how their storage situation is at home. Who have we got? Margot? Christy? Christy. Sorry. Christy. Now, you're with your partner right now. Is that right? Yeah. My partner Jordan's in the car with me. We've got you on speaker. Right, okay.

Dylan, did you say his name was? Jordan. Jordan. Good morning, Jordan. Morning. Good morning. Now, let's be honest. Whose stuff takes up more room in the house?

Christy's. Yeah, I definitely take up more room. What is your wardrobe? If you had to split it into like a percentage situation, what's your wardrobe? I have like one eighth. I was going to say like 80-20. Okay, so you had to split it into like a percentage situation, what's your wardrobe? Like what, eight? I was going to say like 80-20. Okay, so you're in agreeance here.

But boys don't need as many clothes. Yeah. Because famously men go three days of the week naked. No, you wear exactly the same thing every single day. Yeah, but I've got like multiple of these. But that doesn't take up a lot of space. I deserve my space. Like Jordan's got, you've got like multiple of these. But that doesn't take up a lot of space. I deserve my spoon. It's like you've got, like Jordan's got,

you've got like dress shirts and dress pants and that's sort of the nice stuff that goes in the wardrobe. Yeah. And that's sort of it. And everything else is yours. And so everything else, Jordan, just gets like folded up or rolled and chucked in a drawer. Yeah, but I have like only like one third of the drawer space as well.

Oh, this is. We've got lots of, we have to wear, we have to wear more underwear than you with our bras. You only have to wear jocks. We have to wear jocks and a bra. Okay, Dad. Whatever you call that. Dad's jocks.

Jordan and Chrissy. Thank you. Margot, good morning. You're in the car with your husband. Hi, how are you going? Good, good. What's your husband's name, Margot? Liam.

Liam and Margot. Margot, what's the storage ratio at your house? Well, I'm going to say it's 50-50 because my husband's a farmer and he has a special drawer of farm clothes and then his normal clothes and I only keep one set of drawers. Ah. And now he's laughing at me. Exactly.

Let's hear from Liam. How much space is yours, Liam? How much space is yours, Liam? How much space is yours, Liam? Lucky to be 20%. Yeah, see the boy where we're now. Such a yarn.

Such a yarn. But you guys were talking about angle guidance before. I got on one on the weekend for his birthday and if that was allowed

inside, it'd be in there. Yeah. You want to keep it in there as a nice climate for it. Yeah, you definitely want to keep it in there. There's a nice climate for it. Yeah, you definitely... All right, Margot and Liam, thank you. Robert's on the phone. Robert, you're with your wife now.

Who has more space at your house? Oh, definitely Tamara. Yeah, my wife's got heaps more. We've got a dresser with eight drawers we share, and I get two of those drawers. She's got sex and everything on top of the dresser. Oh, she's got a mess. Yeah, but we've got makeup,

perfume. I was going to say, Robert, let's now go to the bathroom. What's the bathroom situation like? How many drawers do you get in the bathroom vanity? I had to bail out and use the shared one with the kids, so she's got her own bathroom now. That's good. Fair enough, Tamara.

Robert knows. She sounds like a duvet hugger as well, Robert. Duvet's okay fair enough, Tamara, yeah. Robert knows. She sounds like a duvet hugger as well, Robert. Oh, a duvet's okay. Yeah, that looks okay. Okay. Well, it's not all bad news then, Robert. Robert, thank you. Tamara?

What about intern Anja? What's it like at... Because you live with the parents, the boyfriend's parents. No, boyfriend lives with my parents. Oh, with your parents, that's right. It's probably 90-10 to moi. To you. Yeah. Is that because

it's your parents' house? Nah, we have a single wardrobe, but when he moved in, I was just kind of like, hey, so this is your three centimetres. Enjoy. Don't go overboard. We've outlined the restrictions. Just walk me through a single wardrobe. Can you walk into it

no amazing how do you fit oh my god is there a mirror in there bloody lardy done no it's like a pantry

for your clothes oh god less snacks though less snacks there's always room for snacks in a wardrobe okay hidden biscuits

hidden secret biscuits yeah The Hunger James well producer James Hidden secret biscuits. Yep. The Hunger James. Well, Producer James, occasionally moonlights as an Uber Eats driver. We've even gone along for the ride when we had some spare time in Christchurch. Yeah, that was fun.

So much fun. Producer James. Great news for Uber Eats drivers. Yeah, now, have you done much of this lately? No, well, I had to renew my licence. Your driver's licence? Driver's licence, yeah. Well, I actually didn't know until my Uber app told me.

It said, your licence is about to expire. And I said, is it really? That's handy. So the day that it expired, it cuts you from the app until you reload another photo of your licence. So I got that at the end of the week so I'm only just back

into it this week. Oh, but so did you get, you've got your licence all sorted now? Got my licence all sorted. Did you get a new photo? New photo. Are you happy with the photo?

Oh, yeah, yeah. Actually, I was getting a lot of compliments from the person that took the photo at the AAG. Creepy, flirtatious. They were like,

oh, lovely photo. I was like, oh, thank you. Very flirtatious. I reckon they say that because they don't want you saying, I don't like it, take another one. Yeah, very true. I reckon that's like what they do. They give you a compliment first up, then you'll take it. Yeah, exactly.

Well, Uber Eats yesterday, James, announced that they are going to have a surge charge for Uber Eats orders during peak times. So apparently they've said that the fee will be rolled out in Auckland during times of high demand, such as during peak times in the evenings and maybe lunch times. Yeah, this is great news because I got the notification on my Uber app saying make more money during busy times with Uber Eats

and straight away swipe on that. I want to see what I can do with that. And then we started messaging in the group chat saying, you know, outrageous, but does this mean you get more money? Wait, are you in an Uber Eats group chat with other drivers? No, with us. We started group chatting. Oh, yeah, because I was going to say,

we talked about it yesterday, but I just imagine you're friends with all these other people. That would be so great. There's probably some great Facebook closed groups out there. You're going to make great pals with people while you're awkwardly waiting outside a fast food joint for all the food to get ready. So like you were saying,

you could get surge prices in certain areas at certain times before this. Because Wellington apparently, this has been the deal in Wellington for a while. Yeah. It has it. Yeah, they've just rolled it out on a national and a lot of the places that they'd give you surge prices for were places that had restaurants but

didn't have drivers so if you it would sort of encourage you to go there to pick up and deliver around the area so you get more but this is sort of saying i guess during like lunch times and stuff i'd say it would be in the city, but there's like more high intensity areas so there's red all the way through until like a yellow area. Is the restaurant seeing the money? Because I've read a little bit about how restaurants kind of get screwed

on the whole Uber Eats thing. Are they getting more money and are you guys getting more money or is Uber just getting more money? I think we're the ones getting more money. See, I'm all good for the drivers getting more money, like if it's a couple of dollars extra. It'll be included as an additional amount in your delivery free from the restaurant. Because it's more petrol, isn't it?

Yeah. Sitting in more time. I have a question, James, because I got Uber Eats in the weekend. Yeah. My food never came, so the driver just sent me a receipt to say that my food had arrived,

but I couldn't see anywhere. And I went out on the street, everything, and I called the restaurant as well, and they were like, we're really sorry. We heard from the Uber driver. There was something happened, and our number wasn't in the thing, but it was. So anyway, what happens to the food?

I think he's just got himself a free combo. So would you actually just take it and eat it? No, well... James, he's honest. Yeah, I'm. So would you actually just take it and eat it? No, well... James, he's honest. Yeah, I'm an honest driver. But then what? You've got the buttons on the app to be like, I just had a crash, or like,

I can't find the place or something like that. No, so they couldn't get in touch with us for some reason. We got our money back, which was good. Oh, that's good. But then I just went to bed without dinner. I don't know where it went, sorry. I mean, you've got a car. You could have just gone out and got some food.

But the restaurant said that the food doesn't go back to them. It stays with the Uber driver. Oh, really? Well, I mean, you can't resell that. I saw an article yesterday speaking about more money for Uber drivers. They compared the ride-sharing services available. Because, you know, there's also Ola and Zoomy. So this is just on Uber not Uber Eats

and how much each company take so Uber took 25% of the fares Ola took 18% and Zoomy

take 15% so definitely worth supporting but then like Uber's more popular obviously but it's definitely worth supporting

those other yeah the local apps if you can just to give the drivers a bit more money. I don't know, just to make... Yeah. If you can. I mean, you don't have to. If they service your area. It's an idea, yeah.

If it works for you. If it's producer James. Well, give it a try first. That comes later. Yeah, great news. I might head out today and see if I can find these surge areas. Well, you've got to go out at like lunch and dinner. Yeah, I'm going to have to hit the lunch rush.

Okay. I'll let you know how it goes. This is great because I love hearing the reports of who you deliver to, so I'm excited for this to happen now that you've got your licence back. I'm interested. But in the meantime, being a lazy shit has just started costing you a little bit more. Basically, yeah. Flesh, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast.

Megan's sick today, so producer Caitlin, you're in Megan's sick today so producer Caitlin you're in Megan's seat yes so that means you have to help us out with the fact of the day jingle I don't sound as good as she does

we'll just back right off the mic you can be posh spice in this situation let Mel be here and who am I am I sporting I don't want to be Mel B

you are Mel B I don't want to be Mel B you'd be Ginger you've got the Mel B attitude. No, no, no. I'm Ginger Spice. Okay. Fletcher's baby.

I thought I was Ginger. No, you're baby. Yeah, you are baby. I thought that was Ginger Spice. There's Baby Spice and Ginger Spice. They're two different people. Baby Spice is Emma Bunton. Yeah.

She's Ginger. Oh, she's not Ginger. No, Ginger's Jerry Halliwell. Oh, okay. I can be. Okay. Plush Spice, Sporty Spice. All right.

Sporty Spice. She was carrying the weight. I think Posh would be married to Beckham. Okay. Well, like Posh Spice, we're going to turn your mic off. Okay. Because that's what they've done on tour. Okay.

Right now. Oh, no. She just didn't even turn up. No, when they did tour. Megan's Posh Spice today. Yeah. She didn't turn up. Okay.

Yeah. Okay. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Today's fact of the day is a little bit of a mountaintop treat. Ski season started. Sound like I've been in the cold. I haven't. Been in quite a warm house. Maybe that's the problem. Yeah. I've been in the cold. I haven't. Been quite a warm house.

Maybe that's the problem. Yeah. It's where the bugs thrive. In Sweden, you can do a ski through a McDonald's. There's a mixed ski. So you can be out skiing and you can ski through a drive-thru. Yeah. And just get your food and eat it on the cheer lift.

It would be quite hard to hold if you've got the poles as well, but if you're a snowboarder... No, you just put the poles on your little hangy bits because you know how they've all got... But how do you get out of the drive-thru? You just walk, don't you?

Oh, that's quite hard. You don't ski, do you? You snowboard. I've tried. If you snowboard, you could kick along. Yeah. Yeah.

Way easier. And there'd be rails for you there. Surely. No, I can't see one. Oh, okay. Can't see any rails. You literally just ski up to the window and order your food and then ski away. That's if you don't want to stop.

You can go in and chill out inside. But if you're just absolutely gagging for the nah, Get back out there and slash some pow pow. Where do you put your big Mac box when you finish with that on the chilo? Well, that's the thing. You would have to hold your rubbish, and then when you got to the top. Yeah, right. The good part about it is every Coke's a frozen Coke when you're on the mountain. If you left it long enough, it'd slush up quite nicely on the ride up.

Would you get a combo? You'd probably just get. Yeah, I'd get a combo. Maybe your chips. You'd eat your chips first. You'd eat them super quick because they get really cold. You'd probably just get. Yeah, I'd get a combo. But your chips, if they eat your chips first. You'd have to eat them super quick because they get really cold.

You'd have to eat them without sauce and that's not okay. Yeah, because the sauce is freeze. I mean, this is absolutely plagued with issues, actually, now that we've looked into it.

Imagine you pull your sauce open on your nuggies, you put it on the seat beside you, you get your nuggies out and you go, tonk, tonk, tonk, and your nuggy and the thing is frozen

because you've exposed it to the very cool Swedish air. Or you drop a nuggy and the thing is frozen because you've exposed it to the very cool Swedish air. Or you drop a nuggy and it just goes frozen solid and lands on a skier or snowboarder below. They should be wearing a helmet. This is true.

It would poke nicely off. But yeah, it could really do some damage to the exposed scalp if you weren't wearing a beanie. Lots of problems. You're not wrong. No. It sounds good in theory.

Absolutely plagued with issues. So today's fact of the day is if you're ever skiing in Sweden, you could go through the mixed ski drive-through. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Last night I was looking at the internet Do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do. Fletchfawn and Megan, the podcast. ZM. Last night I was looking at the internet and there was a story.

There was actually a couple of stories about cars and water. Oh, yeah? One of them was somebody sent in a community notice. I might still have it. Well, I hope I do. I'd like to collate them for a future broadcast. But somebody drove their car onto a beach at the weekend and it was a two-wheel drive car, so that immediately sunk and they couldn't get it out

and they've left it there and now the tide sinks every time the tide comes in. You know when you stand and the waves go out and you kind of start sinking? Yeah. That's happening to the car, so I'm imagining after the latest high tide there would even be saltwater in the car now,

so that car's proper buggered. Do you remember when you didn't know about tines, Caitlin? Producer Caitlin? I still don't know. They're very confusing. Because, like, honestly, every single time. But you were all about the moon. No, I'm not.

I thought you were all about full moons. Crystals. No. You're a bit about that. No, because I just eat plants. Well, no, I don't. I eat cheese as well. Because you went to the beach in summer

and the next day after work, you were like, oh, time wasn't there. No, but every single time I go to the beach, the water's not there. And I go at different times of the day. So I thought, oh. It changes. I know, but it's annoying for me.

So anyway, there was that and there was a photo of a car just actually in the water. Oh, yeah. On the internet as well. And I was on the computer and August was looking over my shoulder and she said, how'd that car get there?

And I said, I don't know the story behind this, like how this car got here. Mysterious. And she said, I bet there's a good story to be told there. And so I thought. Great insight from a five-year-old. She found it hilarious and she didn't even know the story. Yeah. I thought we could take some calls.

How did your car end up in the water? Great idea. Cars end up in water because, you know, if you kind of go down a hill, a lot of the time, it'll lead down to water. And cars,

if you leave them on a hill, where do they go? Down. Down. Often ending up in water at the bottom of the hill. Those stories when people get stuck on the beach,

though, are quite funny. Yeah. But how do people, like, the beach, though, are quite funny. Yeah. But how do people, like, how close can you get to a beach? Unless you're, you must have to be in a very rural part because there's always, like, you can't drive. But you can drive on heaps of New Zealand beaches. Really? And heaps of people just have, well,

and if you're not actually allowed to drive on them, a lot of them have concreted boat ramps. So cars will go down and then turn onto the sand. And if they're keeping momentum going, they're fine. It's when they stop or slow down that the weight of the car sinks. And then if you've only got two wheels driving. Yeah. Can you put your boat into the sea anywhere?

If there's a ramp? Yeah, yeah. In the sea? I thought you could only do that in lakes. What? Why? But like your, could only do that in lakes. What? Why? But like your, could you actually take like your personal boat? Yeah.

And put it into the sea? Yeah. Really? I thought there was like legalities around that. So if I hit a boat. We do it every weekend, Caitlin. No, no, no. But like, that's like ships and stuff.

I'm interested. I'm going to let her go because I'm interested to see where we're headed with this one. I didn't actually think about this before I started asking it. You've got a boat. Yeah, I've got a boat, just a little boat. You've only been taking it to lakes because you thought you were only allowed to stick to rivers and lakes like you used to. But in the sea, like I know you can see jet boats and stuff in the sea, but then there's just like big boats and ships and stuff. Could you take like a little, it's got a motor and you put it in the sea and no one would say anything to you.

Famously, famously you can take a boat into the ocean. That is bizarre. I thought it was just the. You try to pass that marina every day. But they're not boats. They're like house boats and stuff. No, they're not like little, I'm talking about like. Removable boats, like 17 footers.

No, like. How do you think the average person goes fishing? Oh yeah, okay, that's good But I'm thinking like when you go skiing and stuff Because you don't see people skiing in the sea I've never seen someone ski in the sea Are you kidding? People don't ski in the sea They ski in the lake Of course they do, What are you talking about?

You can ski in a harbour. Harbours are like fantastic for skiing and wakeboarding and bisquitting and such. I mean, you wouldn't be able to in like a busy harbour because there's restrictions and speed limits. Okay. But yeah, there's what boat ramps are for, mate. You back your car in and you take the boat off the trailer and then later on you come back and you get it. Why are there not more people putting their boats in the sea? It's like literally thousands.

Literally. No, like little boats. Like little dinghy. They do. Tens of thousands of New Zealanders. I wouldn't imagine it would be more rare for someone to only have ever put their boat in a lake. Is this because I just grew up by lakes?

Maybe. Maybe. Maybe. Every time I go to the sea, I never see boats. You know why? It's because you've never been looking for them. You watch now. Like actual just recreational boats. 100%, yes.

Like when you go out, like for example, Auckland, you go out to like Mission Bay towards St Helier's, they do the little yacht club. I never see boats. No, I've never seen a boat. They go out in their little yacht club. I never see boats. No, I've never seen a boat. I've never seen a boat in Mission Bay. They go out in their little yachts like every day. Could you take your recreational boat and go to Waiheke?

Yes. Really? But that's just for ferries. And other boats. Next time you're pulling in, you look at all the boats that are moored there. Like I understand that they're moored, but people have moored them there and then they could take them back to the mainland and put them on a trip. But I'm talking about boats that

you don't, like, you just have two people on the boat. Yeah. Like little boats. Oh my God. Sorry. Are we still going to talk about how cars get into the water or are we done here? I'd like to know if anybody else actually was under the impression you couldn't just put your boat they're not vaughn no you're the only one caitlin we want

to take your calls and maybe it's carrying up in the water maybe it didn't involve a boat ramp where surprisingly you can put a boat into the sea oh 800 dials at him 9606 how did your car end up in in water maybe you've got it we can look back now and laugh about it. Maybe you were parked on a river camping and all of a sudden there was water where there wasn't yesterday. That happens. That happens all the time. Because of rain. Rain. Again. Which lands

in the hills and then comes down the hill. I think, I thought because of the salt water. Oh, you've got to wash your boat after it's been in salt water. There's added corrosion of salt water, but you can take 90% of boats that you would see on a lake, you could take into the ocean.

There's like specifically flat lake boats, right, that they don't recommend in the ocean because of the... We've got two things to deal with here on the show. Firstly, how did your car end up in the water? And then we will deal with Caitlin's... Yep.

Boating knowledge. Somebody said last year in Queenstown, they actually witnessed this, an American tourist was unloading her luggage at the ridges. Yeah. And she took her suitcase out of the car and the car just rolled away. Crossed the street, dodged rubbish bins,

avoided people sunbathing on the grass and landed in Lake Wakatapu. Oh my god, they're so lucky. Just whoosh, into the water, dodged all the things that needed to. Would have been great to see though. Ali, when did your car end up in the water? Oh no, so it wasn't me, it was my neighbour.

We were, me and the kids were just driving to, like, leaving the house, and she had stopped at the end of our shared driveway and got out of the car to just driving to, like, leaving the house. Yeah. And she had stopped at the end of our shared driveway and got out of the car to get the mail. Yeah. And must not have put her handbrake on or something, but so her car rolled across the road and straight into the bay.

Uh-oh. Wow. And the kids thought it was hilarious. Yeah. You would, though. You would. It would be great to see. Anybody would. Ellie, thanks, you're cool.

Bronwyn, when did your car end up in the water? I had a little manual Fiat Punto when I was about 16. Oh, okay. And I parked outside a friend's house and came out about midnight and my car was gone. And thought it had been stolen and then happened to look down the bottom of the hill and it was in a ditch in a stream at the bottom. How did you lift the handbrake off? Well, the handbrake was on.

It was just a crappy car, basically. But Dad took the opportunity to give me a massive long lecture on how to park properly on hills. I mean mean nothing's better than the lecture after it's happened. Yeah, yeah. Where you're definitely not going to make the mistake again. Bronwyn, thanks for your call. The other thing we need to deal with

is Caitlin's only just learned that boats can be temporarily in the sea. Can I? Now she knows boats go in the ocean but she thought they lived there all the time and they had to be big Now can I explain myself I think what I was so blown away by

Is the fact that when I grew up And when we had boats It was to go skiing and biscuiting In lakes So when I think about putting boats Temporarily in the ocean I think about skiing and biscuiting in the ocean I've never witnessed, seen, heard of anyone S about skiing and biscuiting in the ocean. I've never witnessed, seen,

heard of anyone skiing or biscuiting in the sea. But you don't think that anybody can like, you and I could go buy a boat now, a little boat for you and me with a motor on it and we could go put it in the sea. But like, isn't there someone, I thought it had to be like a licensed

area of... No, it's pretty loose. You've got a good point there. It's pretty loose New Zealand boating. Do you even have to do a day skip, of course? You don't. No. But like we could go... You have to wear life jackets.

If we were in Wellington, we could put our little boat in the harbour. Granted, you'd need a nice day. And we could just go to the South Island. No. No. I mean, I would not come 100% because I don't like little boats, but you could if you wanted. You could if you wanted.

That blows my mind. If you were nut enough. I just feel like there should be some rules and regulations. No, anybody. You can just put a boat in. So you grew up in Fairleigh. Yeah. Would you go up to Tekapo?

Yeah. What lake would you go skiing in? Tekapo? No. We would never go skiing. No, but that's the sea. Oh, no, wait. No, that's the lake.

Sorry, Lake Tekapo. I was meaning Timaru, Caroline Bay. We would never go skiing in Caroline Bay. Lake Tekapo is too cold. People would. I've never seen it. Where would they put the boat in? They can't.

I'll click on Timaru. Timaru boat ramps. There is, no. So we'd go to Lake Apoa And also Lake Tikapoa But that was quite cold Right yeah I was going to say

That's a glacial Timaru yacht And powerboat club See yachts And they've got a ramp You can put a yacht in the sea No but not a recreational boat Yachts live in the sea though

You don't really take yachts Out of the sea too much do you No they just stay in there It just I mean depending on size and stuff Yeah there's a boat around there. I can see the boat around there. No one's going skiing.

I can tell you now. No one would ski in Caroline Bay. They 100% could. And then just up the road, up the... Oh, no, there's the oxidation ponds. You don't want to go too close to those. What about if you're going along in your boat and then some surfers there?

No, no, no, no. You're not going anywhere the surfers are because your boat obviously isn't going to be super great. What if they ran out of petrol in the middle of the ocean and you've, this is just. Well, no, you've got to plan ahead. I mean, it's not loose goose. You just can't like power off into the.

People think you're taking the mack. No, I know. And I realise that I sound a bit silly. Somebody said they regularly go skiing in Caroline Bay. Great place to ski. What? Regularly. Caitlin's just mind blown that you can put a skiing in Caroline Bay. Great place to ski. What? Regularly. Caitlin's just mind blown that you can put a boat in the ocean.

It's amazing. I mean, yeah. Like I've been on boats in like Cambodia in the ocean. It's just as weird to me that. When you were a kid, where would you go for summer holidays? To Cambodia? Like a lake. No, like, yeah, just a lake.

I've never, yeah. I only got introduced, I only went in the sea for the first time when I was like 15. I know. So it was, anyway. God, you're weird. You're our weird friend. Hold on, I got a mate from Tamaru. Yeah, he just messaged on Facebook saying he sees people skiing in Caroline Bay.

What? What? So it happens. But you know, it's like one of those things you've never noticed, now you've learnt, I bet you see it all the time. You'll be like, ha, there's another boat. I'm going to go skiing in the sea. I wouldn't because I went bisketing in the sea

growing up and one day we saw a shark fin between us and the boat and I was like, and I'll never do that ever again. This is Fletch, Vaughan and Megan the podcast. If you and us in a boat and I was like and I'll never do that ever again