ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Megan Podcast - June 28 2019

Episode Date: June 27, 2019

Am I A Bad Person, Friday Flashback and your friend that is always posting about one thing.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

ZM. Head music lives here. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. Thank you, Anya. Welcome to the show, Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. And Tanani, did you go home last night and try Vegemite with butter? No, I forgot about the butter revelation. I just had another piece. Right. Sounds butter. Yeah, I was too giddy just getting it out of the jar. For those that missed it yesterday, Internania has just only in the last few days tasted Vegemite for the first time.

But I did have it with some cheese, actually. That was wonderful. Oh, good call. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, cheese is a sort of a flash of butter, isn't it? Made the same way. That's a chat for another day, isn't it? Made with the same ingredients.

Yeah. Sans churn. Of course, you'd need a churn if you were to make butter. A butter churn. We could get into it right now, actually. Well, shall we? I feel a little dairy chat coming on. Coming up on the show, the top six.

Yeah, English Parliament toilets have tested positive for cocaine. Who would have thought rich entitled pricks would have enjoyed cocaine? Who would have thought people born into the lap of luxury, the utter one percenters who find themselves in English Parliament, would have enjoyed cocaine? Who would have thought? What a shock. Who would have thought?

Keep on your fright. All right, you lot, listen up. It's story time. Three news headlines. Vaughan and Megan pick one of the following three. Nutella faces prison time. Headline two, tipsy vicar on a plane. Tipsy vicar.

Tipsy. Tipsy. Excuse me. I said tipsy vicar. I did not. I, tipsy vicar on a plane. Tipsy vicar. Tipsy. Tipsy. Excuse me. You said tipsy vicar. I did not. I said tipsy. Tipsy vicar on a plane. And headline three, real life prize in claw machine.

Did a kid get in the claw machine? Somebody fell in the claw machine. The kid got in the claw machine. Did they go up through the... Yep. Right in the phone. Jaina. Couldn't get up through the... Yep. Right in that thing. Jaina. Couldn't get it back out.

Yeah. But the people that rescued them, it only took them, I think, $3. That was good. No, because the claw kept dropping them. Yeah. Tipsy vicar on a plane would be... I'm guessing a person of the cloth

a member of the cloth got wasted and did something inappropriate on a plane if they just got tipsy you wouldn't have heard about it did they vom? did they try and

fly the plane? no word on vom no they didn't try to fly the plane but you're certainly barking up the right it wasn't cathedral

it wasn't a light bit of it wasn't a light bit of buggery or something, was it? No. Oh, that would have been great. Because you know they all were like... Yeah. It's like they were like, don't do that. It's extremely intense conservative views get to an airport

and it all just goes out the window. Like, you know, like it's super conservative. Anti-gay senators are always busted in airport toilets with some, like, red boy, some, like, male prostitute who must specialise in airport visits. The parking must cost a fortune. Unless he lives there. He could live at an airport.

It's got everything. He needs showers, McDonald's. So, Nutella going to... Nutella faces prison time? Yeah, right. We want that one? Yeah. We go to New York now.

A New York City woman who communicated with ISIS supporters under the pseudonym Arm Nutella is facing prison for helping the terror group and hindering an FBI probe. Arm Nutella. Yeah, U-M-M Nutella. She's somewhere and they're like, username, and she's looking around. She's like, um... Yeah, Simya. And then she sees Nutella because she loves Nutella. Yeah, U-M-M Nutella. So she was logged on somewhere, and they're like, username, and she's looking around, and she's like, um. Yeah, Simya. And then she sees Nutella, because she loves Nutella. She's like, Nutella.

Nutella, yeah, because have you ever had to, like, think of a username or a password, and you have to look around the room, and you're like, computer screen. Was that what you'd go for? But then I've never actually written um in front of it. Yeah. So her real name, Simya, sees it. Nutella was already taken.

24. Yeah. So it had to add a couple of letters at the front this is like an isis chat room she well she could be sentenced to life behind bars uh when a judge decides her fate in the coming days uh she was trying to leave the country in november 2016 so this happened a while ago um and yeah, apparently used the pseudonym Nutella. Weird, I don't know. How very peculiar. Like at least, if you were coming up with a secret code spy name or something, what would yours be? If I was looking around the room right now?

Yeah. Well, I'd mix two things. I wouldn't just go like computer screen. I'd go... You want it to be something cute too. Like... Um. Clock. Charger.

Palm bag. Palm bag. Because there's an inflatable palm. He puts a palm tree and there's bags in the studio. And they're like, I just get their communications from palm bag. They're like, palm bag has messaged. Yeah. And they're like, why just get their communications from Palm Bag. They're like, Palm Bag has messaged. Yeah. And they're like, why is it called Palm Bag? Yeah. You know? Doesn't it sound

very, you know, menacing? Does it need to be menacing? I think it needs to be somewhat menacing and kick something. Kick bag. We're terrible at this. Kick the bag. Yeah. Kick's menacingacing I'll watch out

I'll kick you Banana microphone That's not menacing No it's not menacing Is it Copper tree That's a brand of sunscreen It's copper tone

Oh that's copper tone Yeah I'd go with copper tone That would really confuse her But you'd need copper tone If you were spending That much time In the harsh

Surround desert You would You'd be mad Not to go out there That's why everybody Wears long sleeves And covers up entirely Is they don't want sunburn You wouldn't need Coppertone if you were to spend that much time in the harsh, surreal desert. You would. You'd be mad not to go out there. That's why everybody wears long sleeves and covers up entirely, is they don't want sunburn. That's true.

So for every bad thing ISIS does, you've got to give them one saying, sun smart. Thanks, Coppertone, who in no way want to be associated with ISIS at all. No. Flesh, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast, ZM. So this was something that got sent to me multiple times yesterday. And it is something that can help Vaughan. So Vaughan has a bit of a smelly bum. How?

Absolutely. You're flatulent. What would you say? You're a farter. Yeah. Yeah. I will fart. Yeah, but yours are're flatulent. Flatulent. What would you say? You're a farter. Yeah. Yeah. I will fart. Yeah, but yours are like from another...

Planet. Yeah. Another planet. Like nasty. Like we've just discovered new gas and we're like, what's that? Yeah, it's my protein intake. You've got a high protein intake. Got a high protein.

You're a farmer. You're a growing lad. Yeah, got to get it. You ready? And now you're a builder, building a gate. Oh, I'm a builder, yeah. You need all this protein. You're a farmer. You're a growing lad. Yeah, got to get him. You ready? And now you're a builder, building a gate. Oh, I'm a builder, yeah. You need all this protein. I'm a builder.

Yeah. So, yep, this got sent to me, and I don't know how it works, but I'd be willing to give it a go because I don't have to do anything. Shoot. So it is a pill that has been invented by a French company, and it makes your flatulence smell pleasant. Oh, that's nice. Makes your fart smell nice.

Like if you ever get food poisoning or you have an upset stomach, you can take charcoal, activated charcoal. Yes. And that sucks up all the baddies.

Yeah. But then it can also suck up all the goodies as well, all your vitamins. It's an all or nothing. It's an all or nothing. And then you poop black.

Yeah. And that apparently can help with your farts as well. Right. But then you're also taking out all the good stuff, so that's why that's not good. Yeah. So they've said that this pill is entirely natural. Okay.

Which, yeah, I don't know how, but it is a dietary supplement based on natural ingredients and it just makes your stomach gases smell nice. Are there flavours like lime and lemon? Well, it says... In different scents. Or like the forest, flavours of the forest. Lavender.

Yes, maybe they could. Chocolate is one of the ones. Roses. What? No, you wouldn't want it. You wouldn't want chocolate. That's going to ruin chocolate for everybody. Yeah. And it's not going to smell exactly like chocolate.

No. Maybe just better than what it would have. So it's 60 pills and you can get them for 20 pounds. And I think you can get them on Amazon. You wouldn't want to test. Is it tested? Is it FDA approved? Yeah You don't eat something

Off Amazon No No Yeah Ginger is another flavour I believe Right Yeah

So there's a few Different flavours And also Apparently And I'm not going to Do this either But you can give them To your dogs

If you've got A really farty dog See I tested on a dog Before I tested on myself. No, I'd rather test on myself than on a dog. I don't want my dog to pass away. Dogs are particularly farty dogs. But you do hear some people...

They've got farty dogs. Yeah. Really farty dogs. Yeah. I mean, when they get about... Boxes. Are they farty? You know those dogs?

Wow, that's my experience with the fartiest dogs. And bulldogs. Bulldogs. Yeah, they's funny. So something about the squished nose makes the... But I mean, we could try it because it's not going to affect me. You're the one who has to take the pills. Oh, you'll know I won't.

Thank you for the kind offer, Prashant. Maybe if they've been around a few years and they're tested and turned up. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. If they get a big pharmaceutical name on them, I'll trust them blindly. What could go wrong? You know me and Big Pharma. I don't care if it's got a Big Pharma name on it.

Flesh, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. ZM. Firstly, just before I get into some goat chat, I want to thank everybody who tagged me in the Auckland SPCA post about Walnut, which is a goat. Oh, Walnut was so cute. So walnut, they actually got in touch with me and asked if I had room for walnut.

And I said, I'm full. I'm not full and I'm not against the idea because walnuts got lop ears and I quite like a lop-eared rabbit, lop-eared goat, because it reminds me of a lop-eared rabbit. Yeah. But I don't know how big walnut's going to grow because we're not really equipped for smaller goats. There's too many gaps that the smaller goats could get out of.

Okay. If she's going to grow into a bigger goat, like as big as Harold and Helen or about that size, that's fine, but I can make, in the meantime. You're going to end up with 100. Have you mentioned Walnut to Indy and Augie? Yeah, they saw the picture. They said it was really cute.

You're a soft touch. At the moment, they really want lambs. But I was like, yeah, you want a baby goat is what you want. Glambs are cute, but get doofy real quick. You've got enough. Stop getting carried away. Goats for life. Walnut.

Walnut was found at three days old, just by itself, bleating and crying. Oh, okay. Have you seen Walnut? I've given... Oh, okay, you should get that. Pretty cute, eh? You should get that. You should see Walnut.

There's videos of Walnut and stuff. Right. So we're just making some inquiries into Walnut. Making some inquiries. Making some inquiries into Walnut. Oh, God. But Walnut would obviously need to be renamed to fit the H brand we've got going on. Yeah.

So it's in that Kardashian-esque time that I now take time to promote my goats. They're going to be on TV this afternoon. On Fanimals on TV too. This is ridiculous. Now, yours, a stupid little dog, was on Fanimals, Megan, wasn't it? My intelligent dog who did all his tricks. Yeah. Like, what did he do?

He sat, he spoke, he rolled over and he went down on his tummy. And then he tried on all his outfits and showed everyone all his outfits. Cute. Has he been able to go back to doggy daycare? No, it's an embarrassing. Relentless teaser. No, they all think he's super cool. From the other dogs.

He's an agent. He's so great He can do anything On command So where can we see Your goats on TV This afternoon TV 2 this afternoon

At 4 o'clock And then it's on demand And stuff as well Right I don't know You know it was One of those things I didn't ask for approval

Of the final edit So I hope that It made me look like a monster Did you do anything to make you look like a monster? I put on my Instagram, I put the little teaser they sent me of what they've been planning to say on Friday we're doing this Fanimals thing.

And there's one stage where Harold and Helen start fighting with each other with their horns and I pull my hands up because I've had my hand caught between their horns. Oh yeah. And Sade said it made it look like I was lifting a raised fist. You'd never hit your goats? No, gosh, no.

But when they're going on, I go, oh, and I pull back, I'm like, hey. And Sade just said, it looks like I've got my fist clenched. I was like, well, no, I didn't. But I watched it. I don't think it looks like that. Right, okay. But she's got a thing for the goats. She hates them, doesn't she? She doesn't love them. Well, Right okay But she's got a thing She's got a thing for the goats She's so She hates them doesn't she

She doesn't love them Well it's because you Give them a lot of attention But then I was really proud The other day she came down Into the paddock with them Yeah And Helen didn't jump up

And try to Because Helen goes up And tries to like You ever seen like wild goats I don't know She's like up in the back Yeah Bang

But yeah it's jealous It's 100% She knows that she's a female And she's in her Wow In her paddock With her two main men, me and Harold. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast.

Well, just like you or anyone, I'm always after a quick, easy way to make money. And if it involves sitting on a chair, I'm all for it. Oh, yeah. In front of your webcam. I don't know if I'd be making any money from that. I don't know if you would. I haven't ruled out feet stuff.

There's something for everybody. I'm just saying. I haven't ruled out feet stuff. Really? Because you guys said I was niche with my webbed toes. I 100% guarantee, guarantee you'd find money and paid work showing your feet and doing weird things to them as long as you did whatever the person asked with your little webbing.

You could peel a banana. You're missing out. There'd be so many people with... But the feet people like webbed feet. There'd be so many people with a foot fetish that somebody would have a webbed foot fetish. Yeah. It's probably too niche to make lots of money.

And fibby and fetish. Well, this job, people are making millions of dollars sitting on their seat counting cars. I found this article, it's quite fascinating. I don't know if you yourself could do this because you might not, you know, Google Maps, they update, how often do they update Google Maps? It's not real time, is it?

They might take a satellite photo and then update it a year later or six months. They only do your street view every now and again. But I mean, there's nothing ruling out going to the mall at the weekend or every day and counting cars. Investors are using satellites with real time tracking to count cars in car parks of places like Walmart, Target, like Kmart, you know, big shop, like you could do the warehouse or stores here in New Zealand to see how many people are going there. So then they can invest or uninvest in these companies to make money before these companies

announce their quarter time results. So they are seeing that lots of people are driving their cars to places like Walmart in America. Yeah. And they're like, well, lots of people are going. It's up on this time last month or last year. Right. So let's invest in Walmart because lots of people are going there.

I already have a loophole. What's the loophole? Just sit at home and make it up. Just be like, there were that many today. Well, no, no, but you need to know exactly so that you can know where to invest and not. Yeah, but Megan's just counting them. She doesn't count. Oh, you're saying she counts and invests.

She doesn't count it and she thought you were selling the data. No, you're not selling the data. They're using satellites. You told me I could just sit there and count cars. Well, you could, but you'd have to run a big spreadsheet, Megan, and you'd have to probably be there every day. No, I was just saying I'd just lie. I'd just lie and say, oh, there was like 200 there today.

212, because that sounds believable. Yeah, right. Okay. Apparently, there's big money to be made. If you can afford to access these satellite images. How much does that cost? People are making millions and millions of dollars. I just thought that was really fascinating, eh?

And they're also using it for things like they'll use satellites on crops like corn corn fields so they can see if there's lots being produced or if it's not

well you'd be able to tell by the colour of it exactly like how well the crop's doing and so if it was going to be a good crop and then when it starts to if you knew your crops

yeah and things like oil inventory as well they can see when oil tankers and things are moving. Oh, I thought you were just saying they can see when the ground starts to sink because we take too much oil out of it.

Sure, that too. It's just become hollow and very heavy. Yeah. But I mean, nothing's stopping you going every week to a store and seeing if they're busy every day or not. Yeah. And then investing, I don't know, $100,

probably not worth your time every day counting cars. And then what happens when like some leave and then I just have to keep counting all day. Well, you do a telly each day and then you'd be like, well, it was busier today and this month and year. You wouldn't have to worry about leaving because you'd assume everybody would leave.

Right. Look, I'm just trying to help you out. People are making millions off this, guys. So if there's a chance we can be on it, right? It just seems arduous, you know? It does, yeah. You made it sound easy, but. Well, that's the thing. And then you've got to know how to log on to your share markets.

I don't even know how to do that. And that's just numbers coming at me. Yeah. Like, can I delete that app off my iPhone yet? I already deleted it. I'm okay now. You can, yeah. But when I was on a limited gig phone,

I kept running out of space and I'd be like, delete apps. I'd be like, get out of it, stocks. I don't want you. Remember they made it a couple of years ago that you could delete heaps of apps? Yeah. So you can delete stocks now. See you later, stocks, you losers. But then every now and then I'd like to open it up and be like, well done, NASDAQ.

Do you know what the Nasdaq is? I don't even know what the Nasdaq is. North American sexy dinosaurs and quirks. I know how it's spelled. It's a Q.

I thought it was C. You know why I know how it's spelled? Every night growing up we had to watch the news. We ate dinner we watched the news and every night

it would be like and they'd come out of the break with the financial markets and they'd talk about the... FTSE? The FTSE, the NASDAQ,

the Greenback. Well, the Greenback's a US dollar. But that's kind of the group, but the Greenback's kind of like the balance of what they compare everything to, right?

So it stands for National Association of Securities Dealers Automated Quotations. I still don't know what that is. Money. What were the other ones?

The FTSE? Nikkei? The Nikkei was the Japanese one, eh? It was always reminding me of remote control cars. Sure. And I was like, the Japanese are doing well with remote control cars because that's an arrow up. Yeah, well, they understand all of that

and they end up making way more money than we are. Yeah. Daily. It just looks so boring, though. Yeah. From the ZM Think Tank, this is the Top Six. Hello and welcome to today's Top Six. British Parliament has tested positive for cocaine.

This was in the toilets, proving that even really rich people don't have their own little cocaine rooms. Traces of cocaine were found in the British Parliament toilets. They were tests run by a journalist. Okay, so that was the answer to my question. Yeah.

They went in and did a swab. That's so cheeky. The journalist was like, I'm going to get some dirt. Yeah. I'm going to make my own story. So they got it. They found it and did a swab. That's so cheeky. The journalist was like, I'm going to get some dirt. Yeah. I'm going to make my own story. So they got it. They found it.

And a couple of people have actually admitted to it, apparently. Really? Like, quietly. I mean, it's the ones who are always so jazzed to be there, probably. We'll just look back on footage of those big parliamentary sittings. Yeah. The ones that are, like, still awake. Like, the eyes are like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Great idea. Yeah, I reckon. Housing reform. Yes. Let's reform all the housing. I'll build it. So yeah, the tests were running. There was cocaine.

Traces of cocaine found. Wow. So the top six things that New Zealand government toilets have tested positive for. Because obviously they've gone out and tested in the wake of this news. Well, this is actually a top six investigation. We sent our own people into that. And these are the results. Number six, burger ring dust.

I'm not pointing fingers at anybody, but I don't think it's Paula Bennett anymore having a sneaky burger ring in the toilet, is she? No. The hardest part about being sneaky about burger rings in the toilet is opening the pack. Yeah. Quietly. Crinkle, crinkle opening the pack. Yeah. Quietly.

Crinkle, crinkle, crinkle. Yeah. Crinkle, crinkle. Shouldn't point fingers, but Jerry Brownlee, Chris Farfoy and Shane Jones would be on my list. Number five on the list of the top six things the New Zealand government's tested positive for. We thought it was cocaine, but it was talcum powder. Oh, okay. Who's still using talcum powder?

Winston Peters has a talcum powder look to it. He would. Yeah. He's in that generation. What's a talcum powder? Winston Peters has a talcum powder look to it. He would, yeah. You might be swinging. He's in that generation. What's a talcum powder look? Just old. Old people. Yeah.

Love a bit of talc. Stops the chafing, doesn't it? Does it stop chafing or is it after chafing? Does it have asbestos in it, talcum powder? No, but there was something bad about it. Right. It wasn't asbestos, but I think it was just talcum powder on a whole not good to breathe in. Right.

My nan loved a bit of talc. Everyone's dad loved a bit of talc. I remember after the bath, she'd put a bit of talc on your back. What was the idea? They were to dry you if you hadn't dried yourself properly. Didn't you put talc on your moist bits? Under your arms. Evidence recently that it was related to an increased risk of ovarian cancer.

Marlene's used it every day of her life, and an increased risk of ovarian cancer. Well, Marlene's used it every day of her life and she's not had ovarian cancer. Right. Heavy talc users. Yeah, right. Heavy talc users. And they were, Johnson & Johnson were actually ordered to pay $72 million in a talcum powder lawsuit in Murica. Wow, that would have been a very dry, dry lawsuit. But then like you say, Marlene's been's been talking every day since Adam was a cowboy.

Number four on the list of the top six things the New Zealand government toilets tested positive for. Simon Bridges' tears. And it's not because people are mean to him and they make fun of his accent. It's because Judith Collins keeps cornering him in the toilet trying to steal his lunch money and his leadership. Also, other tears are found in the toilet. Phil Twyford's tears because nobody wants to buy KiwiBuild houses in Tikawata or New Plymouth. Spoiler alert, Phil. Anyone that wanted to live in Tikawata or New Plymouth

would probably already bloody live there. Excuse me. No one has a bad mood. You know what? I'm not going to live in Tikawata. Where's that? Exactly. I don't know.

It's got the coastal walkway, it's got the mountains, it's a lovely city. No, no, no. Ticawata's in between Pocono and Huntley. Auckland and Hamilton. Right.

Yeah. I know where Huntley is. It's got a vineyard and you see the Graham Norton billboard on the side of the road. Graham Norton saying he loves the wines or something. So I don't know,

maybe that vineyard supplies the grapes for Graham Norton. It's a neat drive off state highway when I get lost. I don't think he's been there. I've seen that billboard for Graham Norton. I'm always like, what?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Something's going on there. Yeah. He loves New Zealand wine, doesn't he? And it was where that guy, a member of that guy lived there who won $26 million

and he told John Campbell he'd be at work on Monday or he'd give John Campbell $26 million. Take a wad of trev. And he didn't come to work and John Campbell's like, bitch, where's my money? Bitch, where'd I have my money? Number three on the list of the top six things the New Zealand government

toilets tested positive for are marijuana grindings. Now I don't want to point fingers, but old Chloe Swarbrick, well, young Chloe Swarbrick, she's always on about the weed, isn't she? It's like, play it, Dad, be a little bit more subtle. And she'd be up with the trick, you put a sanitary pad over the smoke alarm.

It's not an aircraft toilet. Well, you can't smoke Doobies in the parliament Toilets though Unless you stand On the toilet And out the window But even then You'd probably want to

Put a sanitary pad Over the smoke alarm Just to be safe Geri's in the next cubicle Eating burger rings She's like Save a couple of those For me Geri mate

In the other cubicle There's I don't even know Why I want to be ladyboy. Simon. You're crying, mate. You want one of these? Here.

Mate, you feel better. Trust me. Number two on the list of the top six things New Zealand government toilets tested positive for are urine that's 90% bourbon. Now, this is apparently a Judith Collins situation. Right. Unsurprisingly, when you've had that much bourbon,

you tend to miss the bowl. The urine was everywhere. Yuck. It was just like she fell off halfway through. Yeah. Keep it in the bowl, Jude. I don't know the dynamics, but if you were a female

and you were sitting on the toilet weeing and you like KO'd and you went forward, would it spray up like a fountain or just like? Much like, you know, when the Wellington Harbour Fountain goes off, like the oriental spray. Oh, it's all over. Well, I can't speak for everyone's situation. Do you know, Glastonbury's kicking off today. Everyone's camping and getting their tents set up.

They're handing out she-wees. Are they? For the females because they're just sick of, you know, Glastonbury's kicking off today. Everyone's camping and getting their tents set up. They're handing out she-wees. Are they? For the females, because they're just sick of, you know, the lion or what it's like at festivals. So the wahine. Yeah. So they're just going to be able to piddle in the bushes. So would you she-wee into a urinal? No.

Next to a guy? But what if they were female urinals? Would you she-wee in? Yeah. Okay. I wouldn't she-wee next to a dude. Do you reckon at a shiwi urinal, you'd look at the other chick's shiwi

and be like, nice, nice. And you'd be like, oh, she's got a bigger shiwi than me. Yeah. We would so not be used to that. We wouldn't know what to do. Do you shake your shiwi when you're finished with it? We'd probably still all have a glass of everything.

Okay, but if it was a communal unisex urinal and you were using your shiwi, would you, if it was a hot guy, would you see if he had a... Of course! We don't know! I thought you were going to say, of course not! No, we don't know the etiquette.

Of course you're going to look. It's just there. We're not used to it just like being out and about. Maybe. I don't purposefully look. I don't purposely look. Yeah, I'd look. We all would. James?

I don't purposely look, but if I just keep it straight, but if my peripheral can see something, I'm like, he's bigger than me already. Oh, babes. You're alright, mate. I don't know that for sure. Actually, I don't want to comment. Number one on the list of the top six. That's right.

Yes, we do. Yes, we do. The top six things the New Zealand government toilets tested positive for are a euthanasia drug. I think we all know it's David Seymour carrying Rose around. He really seems keen to start knocking off grannies. And Maggie Barry of course is against it, so she mysteriously

drifts peacefully off to sleep and never wakes up. That'd be why. I think we know who's to blame. That is today's top six. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. We all know somebody on Facebook or Instagram who's always going on about this one thing. Yeah, I'm having to deal with a cryptocurrency craze at the moment on my Instagram story.

Ross Boss, you're a cryptocurrency guy. Did you read that it's Bitcoin's back, baby? Well, did I not say this? You guys laughed at me and now it's at like $18,000 again. I don't want to say her name and she's like,

and I've told her I'm going to talk about this so it's fine. But I said, I'm going to, you're just going on about it too much. There's videos,

there's graphs, there's, you've got to get on board on Instagram stories like they're trying to educate people is she a broker no

but why doesn't she just keep it for herself yeah I don't know I think she's so excited at the future and I'm it feels like a pyramid scheme

I see that there is you know it is gonna be the future you know maybe it is when people get that excited about anything that's a product I assume it's a pyramid

scheme. Well, Facebook are going to start a currency soon and then we're all screwed, aren't we? Yeah. Libra? Libra. Ross, you know about cryptocurrency. Is that going to be a crypto blockchain thing?

Really quickly, crypto's about being off the grid and not run by big corporations. Is Facebook really going to be the one that works there? Okay, tinfoil. So you can go buy

a hat man to kill your drug dealer and then not be traced. You're so misinformed, Fletch. When I'm a millionaire, I'll inform you then. We're still waiting. Silk Road.

When you're a millionaire, you also won't have to pay tax. Yeah. Silk Road made all its money on Bitcoin and crypto. Blockchain, didn't it? Didn't it? Well, I think Silk Road made all its money on Bitcoin and crypto. Blockchain, didn't it? Didn't it? Well, I think it made all of its money on drugs, actually.

Just how people paid for those drugs. Yeah, that's true. But it just goes on and on about it. And I mean, okay, you can hide. Yeah. On Instagram stories. The best invention ever, hiding someone. Yeah.

But I wanted to know this morning, do you have that one friend on Facebook or Instagram, what do they always go on about, what are they always posting I don't want to say do it is it born in his goats oh no, no no no, your goats are cute look on your face

but that's not like everyday that's not preachy is it it's not coming across preachy is it, no you know it doesn It's not coming across preachy, is it? It doesn't have to come across preachy. I want to hear from those people that are just sick of their friends either trying to hawk stuff or going on about something. Do kids count? Because

everybody's like, I think kids should be exempt. They're not. You've got to calm down. Yeah, totally. But from today's thing, everybody is the person that, oh, I won't do that when I have kids. And then they have a kid and they today's, like I get it. No, no, no, yeah, yeah, yeah, totally. But from today's thing, like everybody is the person that, oh, I won't do that when I have kids. And then they have a kid and they're like, I'm doing it. Yeah.

I'm doing it. I don't think I'll be like that when I have kids. I'm not even going to put that thing on the fridge that they draw. It's going in the bin. You're like, that's a crap drawing. I've got a brand to maintain, Lawrence. And until you can be cute enough to be part of it or draw something good enough to be in it,

you're not going to be part of this brand. Caitlin, you've got a friend bugging you. Is it Instagram stories? Yeah, and Facebook. Well, Instagram's better because you can, like, mute them. Yeah. And you can still be friends. You can hide them on Facebook.

I don't want to say because I don't want them to. There's two. What are they going on about? There's two of the pyramid schemes. Are we allowed to say because I don't want them to know. There's two. What are they going on about? There's two of the pyramid schemes. Are we allowed to say that? All right. Well, they're multi, they call it multi-level marketing.

Yeah. I don't know. I mean, each to their own. Have either of them got their Mercedes after six months? Oh, are we? Because they're always saying that. Oh, congratulations. I'll see you in six months to give you your Mercedes.

Yeah. It's like, yeah, all right, mate. Oh, I don't want to say because I also love her. But, like, she's the nicest person in the world, but I wish my toots had stopped going on about her almond breeze milk. Her what? Her almond milk. Has she invented an almond milk? No, she's endorsing an almond milk.

But you'd go on about almond milk if you were getting paid an almond a leave. Oh yeah, I would. I would. 100%. Is Clint being paid by Les Mills? I bloody hope so. I think he just loves the gym. How much does a guy love a gym? 0800 dials it in. This is what it takes and calls on this morning. 9696.

Do you have a friend that's on Instagram or Facebook and what are they always going on about? Dangerous territory because as soon as we start going on about anything, everyone's going to come for us. Yeah, do it.

It's great. It's New Zealand. We love mowing each other down, don't we? It's a national sport. It's a pastime. Yeah. Oh, 800-DARLS-N-E

and give us a call, 9-6-9-6. If there was a World Cup of mowing each other down, we'd do bloody well. We'd win every time. And then we'd give each other shit for winning. I've had to hide a cryptocurrency poster every single day.

Get into cryptocurrency. Do this. But no, there's got to be money to be made off this. Well, that's what they're saying, but I'm just, I've had enough. No, no, no, but they've got to be making money off you. No, they're not. They've just got this passion about it, and they see it as the future, and they want everyone to jump on board.

So if you're their friend, they don't want you left behind. Yeah, pretty much. And so they're just bizarrely posting every day, and I've had enough. And I want to take some calls from people who are in the same situation. You've got friends on Facebook or Instagram, and they're constantly posting about something. About my toodles, almond milk. I like almond milk. I want to take it back. I feel bad about my toodles, almond milk. I like almond milk.

I want to take it back. I feel bad. She doesn't post too much. I just feel bad. I've not noticed how often. What's she saying about the almond milk? Do you know what? She's giving really lovely recipes for smoothies and stuff,

so I take it back. I know. I'm out. I don't need to be tired of making a smoothie. I've got a mouthful more on. Just put a whole lot of bunch of stuff in there. It's one need to be tired to make a smoothie. I'm out, moron. Just put a whole lot of bunch of stuff in there. It's one of those things

where you watch too and you're like, oh, that's a great idea. Never make it. Okay, Joanne, good morning. What's your friend posting that you're sick of? Morning.

It's a weight loss program. It's called, I think it's called FAT. It's like T-H-A-T-T. What is it, the 90s? I don't know, but I've had to unfollow her because I just couldn't handle seeing it anymore. Was she trying to get you to sign up every day?

She'd put a little love heart, like a yellow one and a blue one and a purple one, and be like, how much weight do you want to lose? Comment your heart down below. No, I want to lose, how much do you weigh? Sounds like she's been hacked. Yeah. I don't want to lose any. I want to lose the exact amount of you weigh? It sounds like she's been hacked. I don't want to lose any.

I want to lose the exact amount of weight that your friend weighed. See, I can smell this heated up ham and cheese brioche right now. I'm going to eat it. You're on the other fat diet, the traditional one. Joanne, thanks for your call. Ashley, what's your friend always posting? Hi. So I've got two friends, actually.

It started with one, and then i've got two friends actually it was started with one and then another one got roped into it and it's like a health kickstarter thing it's called arbon yeah yeah i'll read you the text messages arbon arbon bloody arbon i don't care about you saying before yeah about the mercedes and one of them is that exact person yeah mercedes and oh yeah still doesn't have it. Yeah. Like six months till I get my Mercedes and they're going to bring it over to me.

It's like no one's bringing you a Mercedes. The person at the top's getting the Mercedes. Also, don't you just want like the cash equivalent? I don't know. You're only six months into a job. You don't waste it all on a Mercedes. You take the money. Yeah, it's weird.

Okay, Ashley, thanks for your call. Jack, you've got someone that's annoying you on your feed at the moment. It's Jeff. Jeff, Jeff. Sorry, Jeff. Sorry, producer Caitlin's written Jack here. I apologise, and she's getting another written warning. That's 400.

You don't get to write. I don't get to. So what's someone posting? I've got a mate on Facebook who always puts the most vague sentences. The one I saw the other day is, Today is the day. And it's so non-specific. And then a whole lot of people start asking questions,

and then she doesn't respond to any of the comments. Yeah. You're like, today is the day. Tuesday? Or like, special day? Or people that post that, like, someone is the day. Tuesday? Or like a special day? Or people that post that, like someone posted something on Facebook, we all know today,

and they're like, in hospital. And they're like, oops. And it's like, don't post a photo from hospital where you look like you've had a stroke and say nothing. Like, we're thinking the worst here. And now you're just fishing for attention.

Well, I didn't comment. I'm not giving in. Because everyone see what happened. Yeah, I'm not. No, I'm not. I'm not. You post a photo. You see the photo, and that's bad.

And then you read everybody freaking out, and it exponentially makes it more worse. Yeah. I'm hiding them. I'm on your side, Jeff. You're a sensible man. Thanks for your call. Some text messages.

Post a photo from hospital and say, I had an accident last night. Here are the details. I'm well. I'm alive. Accepting flowers at the following address. Yeah, exactly. Donations to a GoFundMe I've just set up for my rehabilitation.

Get Fletch started just to listen. It is actually. Yeah, it is actually. One of my mum's friends is always posting anti-vax propaganda. Oh, no. Go give her the measles and then see if she's posting. I don't have the heart to defriend her because somebody else defriended her and she burst into tears. So I just report every post as fake news and spam and incorrect mumbo jumbo and try to get it removed.

Right. Are they a friend? I'm a friend. Yeah. They won't be your friends when they bring try to get it removed. Right. Are they a friend? I'm a friend. Yeah. They won't be your friends when they bring measles into your house. No. That's where you have a ranch slider of you're not friends anymore situation. For sure.

Fleshforn and Megan, the podcast. ZM. So I went to the gym after work yesterday. Catch my heart rate monitor on my Instagram story. No. Oh, my God. I thought you were serious. Semi-hark back to what we were just talking about because that's annoying too.

I don't need to know what your heart rate was for 45 minutes. What is wrong with us? I'm fine. Yeah, we're just sassy. I'm fine. I mean, people posted your heart rate for 45 minutes. No one needs to know that. I'm fine.

We're all fine. So on the treadmill, I'm running, and I watch Netflix on an iPad. It helps numb the pain of cardio and the boredom of cardio. Yeah, you're right. It does. So I'm watching Jessica Jones, which is great, but the final season, RIP. So on the treadmill beside me gets an older lady. Not old, old.

She was older than the woman she was with. Thus I said older. She was probably 60. Okay. That was my guess. Okay. The woman with her would have been 20s or 30s. Were there many treadmills?

It's five. Oh, okay. Always leave a buffer treadmill, eh? Yeah, buffer treadmill. Yeah, but when I got on leave a buffer treadmill, eh? Yeah, buffer treadmill. Yeah, but when I got on, there was someone on the end one, so I went on the middle one to leave the buffer. Yep. So that if somebody else came, they could get on the other end one.

Right. So then they went on the two that were to my right. And I was like, ugh. But then it was my fault. I was right in the middle. Where were the two people going to go? You should have gone on the end. I always go on the end.

I wanted to go on the end. I don't like the treadmill on that end. Okay. I've got my favourite treadmill, but it wasn't used. I've got my favourite one too. Yeah, me too. I like on the end. I wanted to go on the end. I don't like the treadmill on that end. I've got my favourite treadmill, but it wasn't used. I've got my favourite one too. Yeah, me too. I like all the machines. It goes treadmill, stair climber, cross trainer.

Those are my three. I just use those ones right beside each other. But yesterday I had to break protocol. Yeah. So I could tell the older of the two women, this was all brand new to her. Oh, okay. All brand new.

I got the feeling she'd never even stepped foot inside a gym. She had all her rings on. Right, okay. You know, you see like an older, like a boomer, the boomers wear all their rings to the gym. Yeah.

Whereas I have to take everything off because you're getting into it. Yeah. So anyway, she had all her rings on so I was like, okay. And then I could hear her

talking to the woman so I flicked the ear thing out of my ear. That was so nosy. So I could hear what was being said. And did you pause Jessica Jones? Oh yeah,

pause Jessica Jones. Okay. Just tap on Jessica Jones, pause so I can hear what was being said. And did you pause Jessica Jones? Yeah, I paused Jessica Jones. Just tap on Jessica Jones, pause, so I can hear now. And this thing still looks like it's in my ear, but I can hear that talking. This is her first time. She's never stepped foot in a gym before. She's never been on a treadmill. Wow.

This is all new to her. So she steps onto the treadmill, and the girl's like, so this is the speed, and this is the incline. And she's like, we won't put an incline on because it's your first time. We'll put the speed on five. That's walking pace. We'll just see how we go. So they're walking and they're talking, covering a whole lot of things.

And about five minutes in, the younger girl, who I don't know if she's a personal trainer, but she knows her way around enough to be telling this woman. Yeah. She then says after about five minutes walking at five kilometres an hour, very leisurely pace. Yeah. Five minutes.

Yeah. She says to the lady, because she put in her age and her weight and everything. And so the calories are up there. Yeah. She said, calories wise, how much ice cream do you think you've earned from that five minutes walking? Mm. And I'm very interested

because I can see this woman's thinking. Yeah. And then she says, so matter of fact, like two big bowls. And it tickled my fancy so, so much. She'd done five minutes of, like, slow walking. Like, real slow walking.

Like, you know when you go out for a walk, you put a bit of pace in your step. You're like, are we going for a walk? And, like, everyone's got the Kath and Kim thing going on. They're going for their power walk. But she was just, like, walking, like, slow. This is like you've got your cute sneakers on. You're at the beach. Yeah.

I can't even remember when I would, it's the kind of pace of my kids walking that slow, be like, we're never going to get there. Come on. And so she's walking five minutes. How much ice cream wise, how much ice cream do you think you've earned from the calories you've earned?

She just looks at her, she's like, two big bowls. And this woman's like, oh no, no, no no no no no no you'd be lucky to even earn a teaspoon a teaspoon was the correct answer and she said a big a big big teaspoon she's like no no no a small teaspoon of ice cream and this woman was just like unreal you let me know when i've got you let me know when i've earned one big bowl of ice cream. Two hours later. And she's like, oh, that's going to take a long time because five minutes was one teaspoon, small teaspoon.

She's like, yep, well, you let me know when we hit one bowl. Let's look at the rules here. Just have some ice cream. And then like 15 minutes goes by and she's like, come on, a big bowl? Norma's like, no, like three teaspoons, three small teaspoons, like a decent sized tablespoon. And she's like, this is, press a stop. This is ridiculous.

And I was like, that, this woman, the older woman was small. She wasn't a big woman. She obviously has never had to consider exercise or calorie intake in her life. She's just lived her life and done whatever and been famous people. Sweet, obviously. Just eat the ice cream. Until yesterday, she just

had all these ideals. You think you were 60 and everything you think you know has just been smashed down around you. And she'd be the sort of person that'd have really, really fat grandkids and she'd be like, well, I don't know where that water happens. They just eat cake while they're here.

Two big bowls of cake and ice cream. And then I take them for a five-minute walk and we're all even. What a great podcast so far, wouldn't you agree, Fletch? Yes. And it's all thanks to Spark. Get one gig of bonus data with the Spark U25 pack. Now, back to the podcast. Europe is in the grip of a heat wave at the moment.

It's a major one, and a lot of parts of Europe recording their hottest ever temperatures for June. June 27 was particularly crazy. A large part of France going over 36 degrees. Jeez. Okay. Like a massive part of France.

This is just what we need to hear this morning after another cold start. Yes. Where the current warm temperature is 10 degrees in Kaitaia. Yep.

So it's freezing here and over there. I know. It's mind-blowing. How does that even work? I don't know. Flat earth. A ski resort has recorded its hottest ever temperature.

This is a ski resort in France. It sits at 1,850 metres. Okay. Which is the equivalent of the top of the Ruapai ski fields. Ski-vet! Are you asking? Is that a question? Not the summit of the mountain, but I think one of the...

Because what's that about? 2-2 at the top, isn't it? You guys are so informative. 1850. I think that's Kadrona as well. Mount Ruapehu is 2,797 metres. Oh, okay. So maybe the...

Anyway, 1800 altitude. That's high. And it's a ski resort. Yeah. It was 29.2 degrees there yesterday. And I know it's summer and I know it's not snowing and stuff, but still, that's like quite high. Germany as well has been crazy.

Like, haven't they had to put restrictions on the Autobahn? For the first time ever, Germany has restricted the speed on the Autobahn because the heat that Germany is experiencing at the moment is affecting the integrity of the Autobahn because the heat that Germany is experiencing at the moment is affecting the integrity of the road. Wow. Like bits of it

could be getting a bit soft and if you're absolutely fanging it along there in your Audi, Mercedes or Audi or German made vehicle, Volkswagen Beetle, and you had a soft patch

going at 180 clicks. You just melt into the road. You just destroy yourself. What is the speed limit they've put on it? 120. All right. So still motor. Is that all?

Still fanging. Is that all? Still absolutely fanging. So crazy when you're doing like 110 and you're like, ooh, and then someone hoons past you. You're like, no. In my dream last night, I just remembered, I was going 200 k's and I looked down and I was like,

oh my God, I should slow down. What were you driving on? I don't know! That's just all I can remember from my trip. Is that a metaphor for your life? I think those little town cars you hire, those Toyota Yaris, if I was going 200km an hour on a Toyota Yaris, I'd shit myself too. That's a metaphor for

your life though. You're like, oh, I've reached the station now, I'd better rain it in. Sure. There are also like the craziest wildfires going on in Spain and Portugal. Apparently temperatures there just absolutely turned everything into a, just everything's tinned to dry and it just went and it's going. Are there, Rome is warning people who are old, because you know how old people love going to see church stuff.

Italy, weren't there like 1,500 or so people dying of heatwave a few years back? Yeah. Or a few thousand? Old people love going to see church stuff. Italy, weren't there like 1,500 or so people dying of heatwave a few years back? Yeah. Or a few thousand? Old people. Was it 15,000? Yeah, they say that elderly are the most affected by heatwaves, and this is just the start of the summer in Europe. Yeah, 15,000 deaths.

Yeah. So the heatwave in 2003 took part in 15,000 deaths. So that was in France, and France has warned that they're approaching that again. Will you get in trouble if you dip your feet in the trippy fountain? Yes.

They've actually set up fountains. Oh really? And sprinklers and stuff in areas so that not only people can cool down but also fill up drink bottles

and stuff because they reckon that'll be the other thing is everyone won't know how dehydrated they are. Do you reckon it'll be one of those cool sprinklers that mum and dad

had where it goes from side to side and you have to run through it. Like an arch sprinkler like an over the top. Do you reckon it'll be one of those cool sprinklers that mum and dad had where it goes from side to side and you have to run. Oh, I hope so. You run through it. Like an arch sprinkler. Like an over the top. Do they still exist? Do we still use those? Yeah. Or one of those. Oh, those are fancy.

We never had one of those. Nah. So, other temperatures are Poland and the Czech Republic getting up towards 40 degrees and people there just aren't used to it. Yeah, right. They're having to take the blankets off. You know how the old ladies,

they were always walking around with the blanket on? I don't know if that's a thing. I think you're just thinking of World War II movies, Vaughn. Yeah, they were set in Poland. Thank you very much. Historically very accurate. All right, 16 to 8. Next, I want to talk about a thing, suspended coffee,

which we have started at our cafe. I'll explain what it is next. You're just getting a free plug-in for your cafe. Yeah. It's good. I like that. Under the guise of charity. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast.

So if you have not heard, I have a cafe with my husband and we're trying this new thing that is meant to bring warm fuzzies to everyone who comes in. So the reason we've just launched this is because we've been open like three months and I've finally got the menu board up on the wall. Well, that's good planning from you. Yeah, it's finally being done.

So on the menu board is a little square down the bottom and it says suspended coffees. Now, this isn't something we have created. This is, I think it originated. It's had a few different names, hasn't it? Yeah, pending coffees. Pending and pay it forwards. Yeah.

So I think one of the origins is in Italy. It was like a goodwill thing for people who were living rough. Okay. It was your way to help them out. And a lot of people would come in and be like, are there any suspended coffees? I'd love a mocha and a couple of marshes. Yeah. Good.

So the idea is it's a little bit of kindness. You can pay for an advanced coffee. If you're feeling flush, if you're feeling like in a good mood, if something's gone your way that week or whatever, you can pay for an extra coffee and it goes up on the board as a suspended coffee. So do you put like what a little? Receipt.

Oh, right. Okay. So it'll say what the coffee is. Yeah. So you have to specify. Well, you don't have. So I'd say two long blacks, one for me and one suspended.

But then next time I come in, I'll be like, I'll have that long black Doesn't work like that So this is the thing, so it says on the board based on an Italian goodwill tradition, pay for an extra coffee to be given to someone in need. So you put the little tag on the wall and we're going to write

people's names on it, so the person who donated the coffee. Oh yeah, okay. So we've had a woman who came in one time and her dog had gotten run over. And she was so upset.

Well he can't have a coffee anyway because caffeine's bad for dogs. I mean he's run over but that's by the boy. But had he died? Yeah. So this is a scenario

where like it doesn't have to be someone who can't afford a coffee. It could be someone who's like had a really awful day. And you can then gift them the suspended coffee that has been gifted by someone else. So what did you give them that?

Yeah. So what happened? Well, she was happy. Oh, yeah, that's what I wanted to know. Because she might have been too sad to be happy. I mean, we don't gain anything. It's not like we're trying to make extra money because it gets passed on to someone else.

The idea is to create like a little community vibe with the people that come to your cafe. That's nice. So, I was just so excited. The reason we're talking about this is because I mentioned it yesterday, is that someone paid for us to spend in coffee. So, we've got one up on the wall. You had your first uptake.

And so, they've got their name on the little tag up the top and it's waiting for someone who's in need. But you gave it to the lady that... Oh, you know, we just gave her that coffee. Oh, so a sob story gets free coffees

but you won't give your old mate Fletcher a discount on breakfast. So this is the other thing. And coffee and a slice. You're also banking on the goodwill of people to come in and be like,

honest. Don't come in and be like, oh my God, I've had the worst day. That's a loophole, isn't it? Because I mean, you've worked in radio for 10 years, honest. Don't come in and be like, oh, my God, I've had the worst day. That's a loophole, isn't it? Because, I mean, you've worked in radio for 10 years, Megan. You know, people definitely don't do that. People definitely don't ham up an average day into, like,

a really sad story in the hope of getting something for free. Yeah. Humans wouldn't do that. But it's at the discretion of whoever is behind the tilt. Right. You deserve the suspended coffee today. They're going to lead to some awkward moments where they tell you about their day and they just kind of glance over at the suspended section and glance back at you.

Well, I'm hoping that people aren't like that. Okay, right. But then, like, you can say, well, this is gifted to you by. They glance over to that little kitchen window and there's three crosses and there's Simon Cowell, Toyboy, and somebody else sitting there and they're like, no. Somebody else gets the golden buzzer around. But the idea is that everyone who goes there can then be like okay well if you got gifted one you can find out who it was

gifted by and you're like oh and then next time when you're feeling better maybe you could donate one to pay it forward to someone else. It's a goodwill thing you know. So everyone has little warm fuzzies. And did you get warm fuzzies? I was so excited. I was like oh that's so nice. I can't wait to give it to someone who needs it. Who are you going to give ities? I was so excited. I was like, oh, that's so nice. I can't wait to give

it to someone who needs it. Who are you going to give it to? That's the thing. I don't know. Someone who needs it. And it doesn't have to be because they can't afford it. It could be for any reason that they need a coffee for that day. Because it's about more than just coffee. You know? We should go on with a sob story.

Do you reckon? Costumes and sob stories. Okay, mate. Hello. I've had the most terrible day. I was flying around the world, first female to do it solo, and I crashed somewhere in the Pacific. Born are you telling the story of Amelia Earhart?

My name's not born, it's Amelia Earhart. You're alive, Eddie. Come on, sweetheart, come in my black coffee. I'm going to get back on that old chugga-chugga-choo-choo and get to Australia. Okay, mate. Friday Flashback. Did you just howl?

Ow. I mean, ow. I don't know. Look, I've run a few songs past the people, and there's been some lukewarm. Arnie doesn't like this song, but I don't care. Actually, this is my... You know what? I'm going to say it. This is my favourite Katy Perry song.

Is it? I don't know why. I don't know why it is. I just love it. Fleece always runs past me and I'm like, do it. Do it. Roar. Roar is everybody's favourite Katy Perry song, right? Oh, I do like Roar, but it's not my favourite'm like, do it. Do it. Roar. Roar is everybody's favourite Katy Perry song, right? Oh, I do like Roar, but it's not my favourite.

Yeah. Firework. Firework. Hello. No, no, no. Well, you know, Firework's good as well. How to dance to Firework. Well, I've gone with a song that is at least 10 years old.

This song made it to number nine in the New Zealand charts. Top 10 around the world. Intern Arnie's shaking her head. Where's your song that's gone to the top ten around the world I'm just saying you don't have one the start of the song you're here and you're like The plastic bag one do you different. What's your favourite Katy Perry song? The Plastic Bag one. Do you ever What's that one? Firework. Oh, great choice. Plastic Bag. No one's calling the song Plastic Bag.

Hi, I'm Katy Perry and this is my new song, Plastic Bag. Enjoy it before July 1st when it becomes illegal. It's Waking Up in Vegas, your Friday flashback. ZM. You gotta help me out It's all a blur last night We need a taxi

Cause you're hungover And I'm broke I lost my fake ID But you lost the motel key Spare me your freaking dirty looks now Don't blame me You wanna cash out And get the hell out of town

Don't be a baby, remember what you told me Shut up and put your money where your mouth is That's what you get for waking up in Vegas Get up and shake the glitter off your clothes now That's what you get for waking up in Vegas Why are these lights so bright? Did we get hitched last night? Dressed up like Elvis Why am I wearing your class ring

Don't call your mother Cause now we're partners in crime Don't be a baby Remember what you told me Shut up and put your money where your mouth is. That's what you get for waking up in Vegas. Get up and shake the glitter off your clothes now. That's what you get for waking up in Vegas.

You got me into this. Information overload, situation lost control. Send out an SOS And get some cash out We're gonna tear up the town And I'll be your baby Remember what you told me Remember what you told me Remember what you told me Remember what you told me

Told me, told me Hey, oh Have what you need Where your mouth is That's what you get From waking up in Vegas Get up and shake the glitter Of your clothes now That's what you get From waking up in Vegas. Get up and shake the glitter of your clothes now.

That's what you get for waking up in Vegas. That's what you get, baby. Shake the glitter. Shake, shake, shake the glitter. Give me some passion, baby. It's Katy Perry, your Friday Jeff flashback. Oh, okay, so I might have chosen the wrong Katy Perry song. I'm getting absolutely...

Slated. Slated on the text machine. So maybe my favourite Katy Perry song is Firework. I don't know. I just like that. Yeah, but it doesn't qualify for flashback. No, it doesn't. Next year, next year. Not over. I just like that. Yeah, but it doesn't qualify for flat clothes. Next year, next year.

Not over 10 years old. No. Okay, well. Also next year. Crazy that that's 10 years old. I know. Are you going to

hit him with the feedback? When I was in Vegas with friends, we were listening to that song and that just reminds me of those good times.

Don't justify yourself. You were waking up in Vegas. And the song said that as well. The song's about waking up in Vegas. You can see where we're

yeah anyway I don't want to hear the negativity someone said this is shit Anya I literally made that noise and I'm still making it

this is like a horse tranquiliser to the face of Friday Jam so descriptive that's an A in English yeah by the way you put a horse tranquiliser up your

butt I think I don't think you put it in your face. Are you kidding me? I think you can, yeah. How big does a tablet need to be? They're too big to swallow. How big's a tablet?

Goodness me. Well, if it's the horse things, the horse pills I've seen, they're quite sizable. Yeah, because have you ever seen a horse drink a glass of water? That's why they have to go up the butt. Am I a bad person? Okay, moving along. Keeping the show classy.

You tell me if I can't drink a glass of water, everything's going to go. Yeah. So, am I a bad person? We need to get our judgy pants on, New Zealand. We've had some correspondence. It's an anonymous email. It reads,

My best friend has been with her boyfriend for five years and they're going to bar. Oh, this is quite descriptive, isn't it? Barbara's house this weekend. Vaughan's going to Bali. A lot of people go to Bali every day. Yeah, okay. It's the hot spot. Well, I didn't send it in. It's their

problem now. Oh, okay. I feel like I'm ten years too late going to Bali. Like, Shade said, oh, we'll be able to go because the kids aren't coming. She's like, go to a day club. I was like, okay. I feel like I'm 10 years too late going to Bali. Like, Sade said, oh, we'll be able to go because the kids aren't coming. She's like, go to a day club. I was like, absolutely not. No, it's like Thailand. There's like young, you go to the full moon parties.

And then old, you go to like some resort and just sit there. But then she showed me a video of the day club. It was so loud. Your wife is way too cool for you. I was just like, no, no, no, no. Well, just let her go. I'm not letting her go. Did you see the hotties in the video? Yes. I mean, if I could find a nice pair of

earmuffs to wear to block out the Oh my God. Just get a little bungalow and you'll be okay. I'll be like, stop everybody. Stop. Christ alive. Just get a little bungalow and... Okay. I'll be like, stop, everybody. Stop. Christ alive.

It's too loud for a start. It's very early in the afternoon. Just let her go for the day. Does everybody here have sunblock on? And are we staying hydrated? Thank you. Enjoy the rest of the day. Let her go.

Let the girls go to the day club. Yeah. Orgy would be so down. No, she's not going. God alive. Christ. That's another thing I've got to worry about. You take a five-year-old to a Bali day club.

She'd be so down. Okay. Anyway. Back to Bali. They're going to Bali. Okay. They're going to Bali. This couple.

So they've... I'll start at the start. My best friend has been with her boyfriend for five years. They're going to Bali together in a few weeks. She is convinced that he is going to propose. She's buying new outfits, getting her nails done and getting fully prepared. But I know for a fact

that it's not going to happen. I've talked to her boyfriend about it and I know it's not even on his radar anytime soon. I don't want to crush her hopes, but I also don't want her to be devo when it doesn't happen. Am I a bad person for not telling her? Do you remember when you went to...

Yes. So Megan and Mr. Toyboy were going to Rarotonga for a holiday. And Vaughn and I latched onto this. We knew. We knew. We were like, it's going to happen. He's going to propose. Do you remember when we went to Queenstown just before that trip?

He was going to propose in Queenstown, but he didn't want to do it because you guys were all there. Rude. And I was like, oh, yeah, I'm so glad you made that choice. We could have all had a dinner together. But you kept telling me. Half a Ferg burger at the window. That was the opposite because you kept telling me it was going to happen. And I was like, no, it's absolutely not on his radar.

What? You wanted it to happen. You were getting so worked up. I know, but I just didn't think that it was going to happen and I was like, no, it's absolutely not on his radar. What? You wanted it to happen. You were getting so worked up. I know, but I just didn't think that it was going to happen. So that was the opposite. That was a nice surprise. So I think the friend should tell her. Really?

I just think just stay out of it. Yeah, I think stay out of it. If you get involved and then it does happen, she'll think you were trying to sabotage. If you get involved and it doesn't happen, she'll think you were trying to sabotage. If you get involved and it doesn't happen, she's going to be like, why does she know this and I don't? But if you stay out of it and stay ignorant to the entire situation, she can come back and be like, he didn't propose. And you can be like, oh, no.

Yeah, just be there to support the aftermath. I hope you're going to say it better than that. Oh, shivers. You went to a day club, didn't you? It was so loud. I told you. Bad idea. But here's the thing.

You should have gone to Tony Veach's rest relaxation club. He's got one. I'm not bullshitting. Isn't Byron Callaghan going as well? Byron Callaghan, yeah. Apparently, yeah. People with a temper go to Bali, dude. Chill out or something. I don't know.

But what if he is... What if... What if he's just telling the friend, no, not even on my, like to throw her off the scene? Because he's like, she might say something. What if he absolutely doesn't want her to know? Well, I don't know. Do you think she's a bad person? 0800 dials at M9696.

Maybe you've been in this situation. Is she a bad person for maybe not saying something? Or do you think she just needs to stay out of it? Text in 9696 0800 DALES.M. Give us a call. Where's my mouse? Oh, there. You're alright, mate.

Not long to go. Am I a bad person? So, in summary, we've got a best friend talking about her best friend is going to Bali with her boyfriend. They've been together five years. The friend is convinced he's going to propose. She's doing everything to get ready for it.

But the friend knows that it's not going to happen. She wants to know, should she tell her friend or just stay out of it? Is she a bad person for not telling her that he has no plans to propose? Okay. Holly, what do you think? Is she a bad person?

I don't think she's a bad person, but I think she needs to just gently say, oh, just don't get your hopes up, like, just in case, you know? She doesn't have to say, I've spoken to him and it's not happening, because that would be, you know, bad. Because she's going to have to deal with it when she comes

back, and it hasn't happened. Yeah, exactly. And for all she knows, because my partner going to have to deal with it when she comes back, and it hasn't happened. Yeah, exactly. And for all she knows, because my partner didn't tell my best friend, she didn't know until the night before I was getting proposed to because he didn't want her to spoil the surprise because she liked it. Right, yeah, right. So you're saying he could be... Yeah, that's what I think as well. I mean, not to give him hopes up, but he might not have told anyone

and he might be trying to throw the friend off the scent. Holly, thanks for your call. Hayden, is she a bad person? Yeah. Okay, why do you think that? I have been in this situation where when I was going to propose to my wife, I told her best friend who happened to be her sister and I regret it to the day. Love you, Frank, if you're're listening but I still do regret it.

Why? Because did she get involved? She did. She got involved. So we were overseas traveling Europe and I said I was going to get, I was going to propose at the Lovelock Bridge in France and all this sort of stuff. It didn't happen at that time. We were traveling for about four months and she was messaging my wife going, he's going to propose, he's going to propose. It got to the point where I just went, you know what, I'm going to leave it and eke it out so long that my wife thought I'd... Changed your mind.

Yeah, right. Who would do that? Can't spoil the surprise. No, it's not your surprise to spoil, is it? That's what I'm saying. I totally think this person is wrong. Yeah, right out of it. You don't know what that guy's thinking.

That guy could be like me. I was in that position. He thought, don't tell anyone. Yeah, yeah. Because you don't want people to spoil it. And then you say one thing and it's ruined. And you only get one chance. Yeah.

But then what if she comes back from the holiday and she's been waiting every time? She's like, no. Well, that's okay. She can just wait a little bit longer or she could propose herself yeah this is true all right uh hayden thanks you call ash what do you think is she a bad person she needs to stay out of it okay are you speaking from experience that's all like no no no i'm just saying like it's pretty black and white she just needs to stay out of it. It's between the girl and the boyfriend, and she just needs to be there to console her once it all blows up.

Her friend is not going to like that she knows more about her relationship than she does. You know what I mean? No girl's ever going to be cool with the fact that her boyfriend has confided in the friend something that they haven't told her. Yeah, thanks, Ash. Brie, what do you think? Is she a bad person?

Yeah, I think she is. So I was the girl thinking that I was going to get proposed to over in Europe, and it didn't happen. And I wish my friends had kind of gently said, like, that's not the priority of the holiday. Like, just focus on having fun. Don't wait and expect this to happen because if it doesn't, you're going to be crushed.

And I was. I was really upset. Did they know that he wasn't going to propose? Uh, I don't know. I think they might have had an inkling, but it just would have been nice to have someone to be like, girl, get your priorities in order. It's about getting a neat photo in front of the Eiffel Tower. It's not about...

Yeah, what is it like going up the Eiffel Tower. It's not about... Yeah, what is it like going up the Eiffel Tower and he doesn't propose? Yeah, it's pretty good. It's really sad. Yeah. Because it's a lovely view and it's a great, you know...

See, that was the danger of what you guys did to me. Like, it was always in the back of my mind. If I came back from Rara and he didn't propose, I would have been like, huh.

Yeah. You're just lucky. Yeah, but you see, it's win-win for us either way because when you get back, if you're like that, we're like, hee-hee-hee. But then if you get engaged, we know there's going to be an engagement party

and there'll be catering. Yeah, thanks you, Corbrie. Some text me saying, what are people saying? Well, we put a poll on our Instagram story. 36% of people said tell her. 64% of people said leave it. Leave it alone. Yeah, I'm of the opinion to stay out of it. I didn't realise it was going to be that high, though, of people saying tell her, 64% of people said leave it. Leave it alone. Yeah, I'm of the opinion to stay

out of it. I didn't realise it was going to be that high though, people saying tell her. There's something sad though that all your friends know. Yeah. That it's not going to happen. It's almost like the saddest joke in the world, isn't it really? No, it's not. But it's like Brie who was just on before. She was just so, had

her blinders on. Yeah. She just had said this is going to happen. Couldn't enjoy the holiday without it happening. No, without it happening. Because you couldn't enjoy going to the fish market in Rarotonga because you kept thinking he was going to put a fish in a groper. No, a ring in a groper. You'd open up the mouth.

Oh, you don't put your ring in a groper. Trust me from someone who's tried. What? You want to go for a John Doran. Are your children in the car? An orange ruffy. No. A great place to hide a wedding ring.

An engagement ring. Fishing. Exactly. Eating fish. All right, so she's not a bad person. I'll tell you what, putting your John Doran in a ring, though, that's a different situation altogether. Fact of the day is next.

Then you'll need the groper. Lewis Kabobby. Someone you loved. I'm lost. To get you out of that pickle with the snapper. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Today's fact of the day is about pay phones. Oh, yeah.

Because did you know in America, payphones still make millions of dollars every year How? Crazy eh? They're cash Like they're cash You always When you travel there A lot of cash and coins in your

Yeah Purse In your pockets But also your phones in your pocket Yeah but that's what I don't understand So in Canada In 2017 Payphones made 22 million dollars in your pocket. Yeah, but that's what I don't understand. So in Canada in 2017 payphones made

$22 million and there's 60,000 payphones in Canada. America pretty much had the same. Their payphones made $286 million. Wow. Sorry, significantly more in the same year. Apparently

the weird thing is you just forget they're there. I thought, how many payphones are there in New Zealand? Because... Well, none that are coins, eh? Like, America, they're all coins. Yeah, yeah, you can use coins. Slash, you can use your credit card. But no, not in New Zealand.

I can't even tell you where one is. Do you know where there's a payphone? Well, you just walk around in this one. Because haven't they all turned into Wi-Fi spots? If you're on Spark, you can just,

it just knows and you can use their Wi-Fi. You can log in. You can get like a gigabyte a day or something? It depends on what

plan you're on. A little like Wi-Fi-y hotspots? I don't work at Spark, so don't ask me. Exactly. I do know, we'll know that

you get a gig of bonus data with a Spark U25 pack. They sponsor the show. Thank you, Spark. Thank you, Spark. Stick that up your butt, pay phones. We don't need your gig of data. But on Spark, so I looked it up.

I'm at Spark, and this is a no-way pay. This just blows my mind because of the pay phone situation. There are 2,500 pay phones across New Zealand. Oh, yeah. Well, that's not that many, though, spread across all of New Zealand. Yeah, that. Well, that's not that many, though, spread across all of New Zealand. Yeah, that's one every,

the mostly big public places, like busy neighbourhoods and stuff. There are over 300,000 phone cards produced every year. Who's buying a phone card? This is for tourists, right? I remember, like, 90s kids, come back with me now. We lived in the country,

so we didn't have payphones. But when we went to our regular family holiday at Mount Maunganui, there was payphones and we were always so excited about them. The thrill of finding a payphone card with a bit of credit

on it. What am I going to do? Who would you ring, Nana? Wasn't there a number you could type into a payphone and then hang it up and it would ring? 137 was the number you'd do at your home. And you'd run away and watch someone see if anyone answers the payphone? Yeah, and when they started going out, it was about the time of the Matrix

and that was how they got out of the Matrix and they answered the payphone. Yellow. And shook them out. But so there's 300,000 phone cards produced every year. Who's buying all these? I don't know. I don't know. Tens of thousands of minutes and calls are made using payphones every single month in New Zealand. And they've been in New Zealand for 109 years.

First introduced in 1910. Because you have cell phones, you'd think. Even those American stats, that's mind-blowing. Isn't it? Yeah. And even tourists, you just get a local SIM, right? Yeah. Yeah. And even tourists, you just get a local SIM, right? Yeah. Yeah.

Well, even if I was, like, right beside a payphone and I desperately needed to contact somebody and didn't have a phone, I'd say to someone, would it be better if I just used your phone? I know, right? Because how do you even... I wouldn't go into the dairy and be like, $5 for a payphone phone card, please.

Who's using them? Because then you've got to, like, put your sleeve down of your hoodie over the receiver and not get it on your mouth. Yeah. Is it criminals because it's like

not traceable? That was what I thought about like yeah I've got the drugs. Yeah we're just watching too many movies. I'm the guy in the payphone. You know I don't

I'm not sticking out at all. I'm using a payphone. Luckily this this call's not going to be traceable because I'm the one person all. I'm using a payphone. Luckily, this call's not going to be traceable because I'm the one person in New Zealand today using a payphone. Yeah. So I don't know, but now I want to do a stakeout on a payphone. You've got to find one first.

The only people I see on payphones are having a sleep in there. I've never seen anyone use them lately. I've got that photo in Dunedin where someone had put like 12 lime scooters in one payphone. Do you remember we saw that when we were in Dunedin a few weeks ago? Well, they needed to shelter from the rain and the cold.

Yeah, it's very cold in Dunedin and the lime scooters need to seek shelter. Yeah. But that was a payphone. Yeah. But no one was like, oh, I can't use this payphone because it's full of lime scooters.

It just blows my mind. 300,000 phone cards every year. When I'm walking down the city, through the city, next, like, whenever I see one, I'll Snapchat you. Yeah,000 phone cards every year. When I'm walking down the city, through the city, next, like, whenever I see one, I'll Snapchat you. Yeah. Keep an eye on it. Oh, you don't use Snapchat.

On a telly. Nah, they're like payphones. And so Instagram. Or Aimee. Or Message Me. Or Aimee. Today's fact of the day is that New Zealand has approximately 2,500 payphones still.

Who knew? Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Don't get Fletch started Don't get Fletch started in here Don't get Fletch started Don't get Fletch started in here Well, this wasn't what we wanted to talk about, but Ross is bringing his son into work, so I can only assume Ross has brought a sick kid to the workplace. What do you think about that, Fletch?

Don't get me started on that. That's not what we wanted. Quarantine him. He's got a Thomas at Tanguy and school, buddy. That's what we were. Quarantine him. It's got a Thomas at Tanguy and school big. So, Megan, I don't know. What are your thoughts? I mean, personally, I don't like to enter competitions where there's voting required because I'm always really awkward about asking people to vote for me.

Yeah. En masse. I'm awkward too. Yeah, we kind of avoid it, right? Yeah. But at the same time, I'd just like either vote for them or just say I masse. I'm awkward too. Yeah, we kind of avoid it, right? Yeah. But at the same time, I'd just like either vote for them or just say I did if I got asked.

And then they just ask and I just click the link and vote. Yeah. Just like, oh, well, good on them if they've got the time to do that. Fletch, what are your thoughts on someone entering a competition that's voting based

and then asking en masse everyone to vote for them? You know, I don't like this because I had a big moan about this this morning. Everyone messages out, hey, vote for my kid in this competition or vote for me. I want to win a bread maker. And what's wrong with that? I don't know.

I've got better things to do than click a link. You're not going to win this competition. You don't know. You've got an interest to win. You're not gonna like, what did Gary Soundkeeper Gary sent one out yesterday as well? What was that one? He wants to win a spa pool. Why does he need a spa pool?

Go and buy a spa pool. Why does he not need a spa pool? He wants a spa pool. Why do you need a spa pool? Gary. Who cares? He wants a bloody spa pool. My wife has like four baths a week, and this is an opportunity for a free spa. Yeah, but don't you hate it when people email out and they're like, vote for my kid in this competition

to win the cute baby. Do you hate those? Yeah, I do, yeah. So what's it like when a growing man's asking you to vote for him to win a spa pool? I just think this is a gimme. I think it's a really bad idea and no one else is going to enter. You're not going to win because everyone else is like you.

They're like, no, I'm going to enter this. All right, you're not invited to the spa, Fletch. I know, and that's another thing. I don't like going to use people's spa pools. You're going to have sex with your wife and then you're going to invite your friends over into that spa pool and everyone's going to think that's okay. It's not. Motel spa pools, also not cool.

I knew Gary was going to get this because he put in the subject line, don't ask, just please can you vote. And so I just messaged back, done. You voted for Gary? Of course. He went to the effort. Thanks, Miguel. Appreciate it, mate. Can I come in your spa?

Anytime you want. When was the last time you used a communal spa? I got hot tub folliculitis. But I'm banking on the fact that he's going to clean it. You're also too tight-ass to buy chlorine. Or keep the power on. It'll be like a cold, it'll be a fish pond before we know it. You'll have it dug into the ground and you'll be farming koi carp or something.

You'll be selling koi carp in the clean field markets. Just vote for him and then say, I told you so later. Just let him have his bloody spot. Teriyaki koi carp on a stick. That actually sounds pretty good. Gary, can you cook me a teriyaki koi carp on a stick? All right, Gary, I'll vote. He works so hard.

They want your email. It's another thing. It's all just corporate. They want you. They want your email. It's another thing. It's all just corporate. They want you. Sucker you in. I'm not the only one. You're so mean. You're so stingy.

I'm not the only one that gets riled up by these people. You're so stingy. You know, when they send you an email because you gave them their email, you can just unsubscribe. It's time out of my day. Have you had this lately? I unsubscribe and they're like, hi there, we got your request for an unsubscribe.

This is in another email. Straight after you unsubscribe, they send you an email saying, yeah, we've lodged your request for an unsubscribe. It can take 48 hours to unsubscribe. Yeah, I know, that gets me as... Why? I don't know.

Because the person's got to go in there and do everyone's unsubscription. No, it... Why? I don't know. Because the person's got to go in there and do everyone's unsubscription. No, it's automatic. I don't know. I think they're just trying to slip you one more. Just go and vote for Gary, please. Absolutely not now. Not after they need an email address.

I mean, it's cunning from them. It's smart, but I'm not falling for it. I'm building a gate yesterday to let you guys know that I've started. I've purchased the lumber. Yep, the wood. I've got some hinges. I bought a saw because I came in under budget so I absolutely

blew the budget to pieces with this. With a new fun saw that cuts. So what it does is that it's got a light that comes on when you pull the trigger. And the safeguard thing comes back and the light comes on and the light casts a shadow of the exact line of where the blade's going to cut. Oh, okay. Now that's handy.

That's really handy. That's super flash. That's a handy piece of something. So I'm a little worried that you, A, don't have any carpentry skills. Absolutely zero. Zero. And I can't even hit a nail. It freaks my dad out whenever I'm helping him and i started a nail because i was missing put like a really hard

crescent moon in the yeah yeah to hit that tiny little nail i just um like you should buy a nail gun how fun would that be oh so you know how i'm on the crusade to correct to collect all the dewalt yeah i bought the battery packs and I need everything that possibly can be powered by the battery. There's a nail gun in the range. Are you kidding me? Yeah. You know me.

I was just putting ideas in the set, please. I just take it to the park and nail things. I've had the same pack of nails for like four years but I definitely need a nail gun. I bought one of those

big tubs of nails when we actually when we last did Renault's. They were actually left over from the builders and I've had those ever since. You know, I definitely need a nail gun.

The amount of nails I use. You definitely do. I need a nail gun. The amount of nails I use, you definitely do. Find a nail gun. And you just go, thank you. Bang. It must be fun to nail things. Now, are you still

on the same phone number when my wife's screaming at me later on for buying a nail gun and I'm like, it was Fletcher's idea. Can I get her to call you? What do you mean,

of course I'm on the same phone number. Great. I would have told you if I'd changed. Good. Alright. You can look forward to that call later on when I've accidentally bought a nail gun on Just don't tell her.

Just do what she does when she goes to Jituba or whatever it's called. Jituba. Jituba. There's a big difference between a sore thing. She's got me on Jituba though. She's buying $70 something at Jituba's and I'm spending like hundreds of dollars on a nail gun. You deserve it.

You're right, I do. Yeah. And so many uses. She deserves Jituba. She has to put up with. Yeah. And so many uses. She deserves a jujuba. She has to put up with this guy. Why am I calling it jujuba? Because it's called jujuba. Jujuba.

I don't know what it's called. Nobody knows how to say it, Megan. Ducuba? It's like the Rubbux Cube. No one's exactly quite sure how to say that. The Rubbux Cube. So have you made the gate? Because you sent some photos through

of what it's going to look like. Yeah. So I was like, I'm just going to get some professional advice. So I watched one of those Mitre 10 how to build things. Oh, yeah. You've seen those videos? They're always on in store. Yeah, and you can YouTube all this kind of stuff.

That guy's quite handsome, eh? Like, do women just watch? Because a woman who quite like a manly man around that's practical and everything, that's semi-soft erotic. Do you think? Is this the new Fifty Shades, the Mitre 10 Mega guy? Yeah, I can imagine pulling the curtains and having some quiet time watching her mum

plaster a hole in the wall. You know what? You can do that. There's no rules. Oh, yeah, not for me. I'll watch it because I need to know how to plaster a hole in the wall. But I imagine some woman would find it cool.

I got a video of him yesterday, changing a... He said, listen to his voice. I've got a video. Have you got a little thing? I don't know his name or anything. I'm trying to find out more about him, but he's like, something like this is really common. A door handle that's busted through the plaster board. I'll show you how to clean up the damage. Put it in a back block.

I'll show you the proper way to fill it, finish it and get it ready for painting. Wait, what are you playing? Oh my god, Bourne, do not make that noise. Just gonna put in a back block and show him how to fill it. Anyway. So see what I mean? Yeah, right. So you're, wait,

you're making the change, you're following... I watch his one on how to make a gate, because I looked up how to make a gate and they were like, put some nails in and then some of those steel things. You know the steel things that are spiky on the back

and then you whack them and it's like a plate of support. Oh, yep, yep. They were like that but then I watched him and he's like, no, you've got to put... Bolts or something.

Ruts. I don't know. So you carve out on one bit of wood where the other bit of wood will fit in. And so then you do it on the other bit of wood and it sits in and it's flat and it's the width of one bit of wood where the other bit of wood will fit in. And so then you do it on the other bit of wood and it sits in and it's flat

and it's the width of one piece of wood and it creates a flat frame so you can nail everything to it. That's why they have those plates of spiky nails so people like you with no skill

you just hammer them in and it's done. So I did it. I've done it. They have readout, rebout, bedout joints. Readout joints. Oh my God.

Your gate's falling off. Wasting. Ready, ready joints. This is going to fall off in the first storm. I'll show you. And look, it's not like going to win any awards, but I'm like pretty stoked with how I've done it. How I've done it.

That's probably a picture of the nicest one. That's like my dad would see that. It's one key. It's a couple of mils out on the side. Yeah, I know, but I can fix that with sandpaper. Okay. But I measured it. I'm impressed by that.

But actually, I measured it. Look, and it was like, it was square. Now, that's kind of what the gate's going to. Did you make that? Yeah. Well, that's pretty good, Vaughn. Yeah, I'm not finished. Hold your judgment.

I'm not finished. I'm not quite finished yet. But I've got to put another support across the middle. And then, oh, here we go. Yeah. I'm going to go. I've got to put another support across the middle and then, oh, here we go. I'm going to go, I've got to put diagonals because it's quite a tall gate. You've got to have diagonal supports in your gate. I sent that to someone who knows what they're talking about and they said you need

a diagonal. He said I hope he's going to put a diagonal on that. So I'm putting a mid support because I've got three hinges on it to hold its weight and then I'm going to put a diagonal at the top and a diagonal at the bottom. You know what? I'm so proud of you. You should go and buy a nail gun from Jujuba. I should celebrate by buying a nail gun from Jujuba. You need to treat yourself.

Did Jujuba sell nail guns? I think they do, yeah. Imagine if they sold like females' clothings and just nail guns. Something for everyone. Something for everybody. ZDM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast.

If you enjoyed this podcast, why not give ZDM's Bree and Clint a listen too? Subscribe on the iHeartRadio app or wherever you get your podcasts. Hit music lives here. ZM.