ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Megan Podcast - March 04 2019 (1)

Episode Date: March 3, 2019

I Have Never, Mosh Monday and when did you freak out and call the police?See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Welcome one, welcome all to the Fletch, Vaughan and Megan podcast brought to you by Spark. Get four gigs of bonus data on Spark's $49 prepaid value pack. Now, on with the podcast. It's on. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. Thanks, Sanya. Good morning. Welcome to the show. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. I had a look in the sky to see if I could see the docking. Nothing. Couldn't see the space dock.

Nothing. But it was successful, which is good. Could you see a little dot? Like, you know how you can see the International Space Station? Yeah, there was a real bright one by the moon. Is that what you're talking about? Nah, that wasn't. That's Venus. I think it was Venus.

Is it? I think so. I feel like we've... I don't know. Nah, it's Venus because if it's Mars, it's a bit reddy. And yeah, nah, I'm pretty sure it was... And the moon was like a cut-off toenail today. It was.

It's like quite exciting. Waxing, waning. One of the two, hey? Yeah. One of the two when it's on its way down. But I couldn't say it, but it's good that they did that. And they were like two astronauts later in the year. Okay.

In the SpaceX rockety thing. God, that would suck. Are they all the ones that didn't get into NASA? Well, you just chucked them up in there. No, because then they still have to be astronauts.

Oh, right. They still have to know what they're doing. To go to the space station, this is just a place that'll do it, like contract work. Oh, right, okay.

It's like an Uber, basically, to the space station. Right, okay. Yeah, they'll sit and know if they were like the Dregs or something. No, no, no, I don't think they're the Dregs. It would't know if they were like the Dregs or something. No, no, no. I don't think they're the Dregs.

It would be cool if they were like the renegades, though, the ones that failed, like the flunkies, and then they've just got a bad attitude, but they end up saving the day. Better make a great movie.

All right, you lot. Listen up. It's story time. Three news headlines for three stories that are found online. Interesting, odd, quirky, unusual stories. Vaughan and Megan pick one of the following three headlines.

Headline one, Seal eats entire loaf of bread. Is that Heidi Klum's exhale? They just get baked and he's just like, I just had two more bits of toast. You're actually 100% correct. Oh, really? Did he get stoned and eat a whole loaf of bread? I don't know if he got stoned, but he ate a whole loaf of bread.

That's like teenage boy appetite. This is as told by Carly Rae Jepsen. Yeah. What? She watched Seal eat an entire loaf of bread plain. Plain bread? The man is a monster. Not even so far.

On a private jet. Get out. Are we talking white bread or something fancy? Specifically, the loaf of gluten-free bread that Jepson said she once witnessed Seal devour by the slice on a private jet. She was also with Michael Bolton on this private jet. And Seal. Michael Bolton, Seal and Kylie Rae Jepsonton On this private jet And seal

Michael Bolton Seal And Kylie Rae Jepsen Are on a private jet What's for dinner A whole loaf of ciabatta bread Amazing That's so weird

Yeah yeah yeah Okay Wow Hey I just met you And this is crazy Did you just eat A whole loaf of bread Call me maybe.

She said he opened the bread, he removed the paste, he closed the bread, he ate the whole paste, nothing on it. Then he did it over and over again. She did not clarify whether his private jet lacked butter, peanut butter or jam or whether Seal, for whatever reason, simply prefers his bread dry. I love that he closed it every time, like, no more. Yeah, no more, Seal.

That's enough. Oh, one more. You can hear her tell that story to Kiwi Zane Lowe on Apple whatever radio beats music or whatever the hell that's called. Whatever the hell a show's called. Yeah. That's messed up. Well, I mean, we've done that story, so do you want...

That's amazing. We went into a lot of detail, actually. Oh, we didn't actually give... I didn't give you the headlines. No, we just stopped there. Headline two, wife suspicious of wedding invites. And headline three, wife surprised to find husband online.

Are those two related? No. She's just got a wedding invite to a man, a person her husband's married to online. I want the suspicious wedding invites. Yeah. Because she's just found her husband online, right? On a dating app or something. Kind of.

What do you want? Yeah, wedding invites. Wedding invites, please. Alright, well we go now to the UK and a man has been busted. He's a bigamist. A bigamist? What does that mean? That's when you you're married and you marry again.

It's illegal. Right. In some places. This happened a while ago, but it's in the news this week because it's just been in court at the end of last week. And he was busted getting married for a second time when relatives told his first wife that they'd been invited to his wedding. Wait, so she didn't even know?

She didn't even know. Oh. So they had broken up. They weren't still, I mean, technically they were still married. Right. But yeah, she became suspicious when her friends and family started talking about the new wedding. Well, you know, don't stop.

Always looking forward, never looking back. She was apparently absolutely shocked and quite upset when she found out her estranged husband had tied the knot with another woman. Oh. So that actually separated in 2010 after 16 years of marriage.

So I don't know why he didn't just say, hey, get the paperwork done. Let's do it. So it's officially gone through now, but not in time for him to be sentenced to the bigamy charges. Right. Because when you fill out for getting a new marriage, you have to say that you're single or you're not currently in a relationship. So he would have just lied about it. And he got community service, so he didn't do jail time over it

or anything like that. What did he do for community service? Doesn't say. No, doesn't say. Because in my mind, that's still just picking up rubbish. But I can be a range of things. They make you do.

Plant trees. Plant trees and paint fences and stuff. That's nice. Yeah. Yeah. Get them planting some more trees. Don't we have a billion trees to plant? Apparently so.

Next, I want to talk about keto. There's a... This is a... What is the diet where it's lots of protein? Yeah. Paleo with marketing, right? It's an interesting side effect. You may have heard of keto.

It's low carb, high fat. It's a ketogenic diet. So it sends your body into ketosis, which is like... Sounds terrible. Ketosis sounds like make your toes fall off. Lots of people lose weight on this diet though, don't they? Yeah, and lots of celebrities doing it. Gwyneth Paltrow is all about keto.

But there is, I'll call it a side effect. Lots of women have noticed a side effect where their female region... The faheen. It has a different odour. Oh, God. Better or worse? Worse, by the way. We're tiptoeing around this.

They're calling it Keto crotch So This is Didn't Anya do keto For a while Did you experience This

No I didn't Because I didn't do it For long enough Because I missed Like ice cream And everything yum Ever You sit next to

Intern Anya Caitlin Oh my god. No, no. No smells coming from there. From her. In the area I mean. How long

do we have to do it? Can we smell good? What's the... So lots of people were on Reddit and online saying you know this is a thing.

They're all agreeing and while there's no studies specifically around keto crotch, some dietitians and gynecologists have said when it comes to there, like that area, you literally are what you eat. So if you're changing your diet up in a serious way, it can affect the way that functions. And also if you are eating pungent foods and spices

and things that just put off an odour themselves, it can literally go through the bloodstream and end up down in that area. I get that because when you up the protein, you fart more. When you up the meats, you can get

a smellier. And like asparagus, the meats, you can get a smellier. And like asparagus, you know, you can get like smelly. That goes through. Your wine, yeah. So it's while you may be healthier and your gut might be healthier, you might be losing fat. So what you're saying is eat candy floss. Well, I've actually Googled a list of foods that you'll eat that your vagina will thank you for.

Okay. Natural yogurt. Okay. And other probiotics. Yeah. Such as sauerkrauts, which kind of goes against sort of what we're thinking here because sauerkraut's very tangy. Oh, yeah. Yeah.

Like a kimchi and cabbage. Yeah. Yeah. Fermented cabbage. Miso soup. That's one of the ones that falls under the natural probiotic. Okay. See, they always say when I buy my sushi, do you want a free miso?

But I should start doing that. Well, you are. For your vagina health. I'm in for my keto crotch. Cranberry juice. That's another bit. That's across the board. That's pretty good for the regions.

But all the cranberry juice you get at the supermarket, it's all just sugary crap anyway, isn't it? Yeah. It's pretty sour, natural cranberry. Yeah, you don't often see a punnet of cranberries. Fresh fruit and veg, seeds and nuts, water and garlic. Hello? What a surprise.

No, see, this is going against what I've got here because it says lots of veggies and garlic specifically can cause keto. Crotch. So, like, it can be healthy, but it's going to, like, put off an odour. Oh, Lord, I'm just reading more about garlic. It contains natural antimicrobial and antifungal properties, so it's good for that sort of thing.

This is garlic. Raw peeled garlic can be used as a vaginal suppository and left overnight. No. I wouldn't be putting garlic up there. No. We've read so many stories

about don't be putting things that and especially not garlic. Yeah, that doesn't naturally happen. You know how when you eat raw garlic and it's burny?

Yeah. Don't put it. You know if you're leaving Who's post what website are you on reading that? Capital FM. A radio station.

Oh, that's what we're talking about. But then they source it from healthyandnaturalworld.com. Okay. But you know when you leave a garlic bulb on the bench for too long and it sprouts? You don't want that. You don't. You really don't. No.

Don't put an onion in there either. They'll go twice as quick as garlic. This was put together by Stasher, who usually look after the best tourist attractions to go and see while you're on holiday. But they have put together from their ratings the most overrated tourist attractions in the world from what people were expecting to what they actually got when they got there.

Okay. I've got there. Okay. I've got one. What? Should we say our ones before you read the list? And then I'll tell you if it's in the top 10. I've said this one before, the Colosseum. No. See, what did you expect though, Megan?

I didn't know it was broken. It's only half there. And I expected it to be out of the city a little bit. And there's rubbish all around. And it's right by a road. It's right by like a main road. I can't see any. No.

There's no mention of the Coliseum on there. 70 AD is when they started construction of the Coliseum, Megan. It was opened in 80 AD. And it probably looked awesome in its time. I mean, there are some leaky buildings in Auckland, some apartment buildings that haven't lasted that long. Oh, I thought you were going to say, well, more impressive than that. Well, no, it's more impressive because they were built,

they got wet very quick and they're still standing, which is amazing. Which is amazing in itself. But they were never the site of a gladiatorial fight to the death. With Russell Crowe. No, Russell Crowe never did a movie about leaky homes. That's probably what ruined it, because I saw it in The Gladiator, and then I saw it in real life. I was like, look, smaller, half broken.

There's no floor. Run a broom around. God, let's hope you never see The Wreck of the Titanic. It's not as big as they made it out to be. It's got barnacles on it. Classic. Oh, it was through a cruise ship in Auckland in the weekend. It was massive.

And there's no way the Titanic could have been that big. I think we've ruined the Titanic for ourselves. Yeah. Right. By modern day cruise ships. Yeah. Titanic would look like a pipsqueak. Like the Inter-Island.

Probably as big as the Inter-Island Ferry, was it? Probably was. The Blue Bridge. Probably not too much bigger. With some smoke stats. Now I need to find out how long. Yeah, compare it to the... You run some stats.

Okay. There'll be some nautical nerds website where they'll run the stats of the Titanic versus most cruise liners. So it was 269 metres. Long. Yeah. Are you Googling how long the Inter-Islander is? It was long and thin compared to the modern cruise ship,

which is very tall. They blow my mind how they even stay upright, the modern cruise ship. They're very tall. So anyway, we're not here to talk about nautical comparisons between the Titanic and modern day ships that we can compare it to. These are the most overrated tourist attractions in the world. The pyramids are on there and at number

10. So I've heard people say that they're not as big as you imagine. The pyramids? Yeah. The big, it's the fact that they are right next to the town and there's just like rubbish and stuff blowing around. That's the same as the Coliseum. Yeah, it's grubby. I always picture them to be out, you have to drive to them out in the desert.

But are they right in town? They're right on the corner of town, yeah, on the edge of town. You only ever see photos with the desert in the background, but apparently that's a very specific view. Right. Otherwise, you're just going to be looking on the corner of the town. Okay, that's good to know.

I think it was that Carl Pilkington travel show that first showed me the pyramids as they actually are. Yeah. Just a bit with rubbish around it. A bit underwhelming. Istanbul's Grand Bazaar. Never been there, but that's overrated. People are saying that's overrated.

The Gold Museum in Bogota, Colombia. I've been to that. The Gold Museum. Yeah. I mean, I didn't, it was just a gold museum. I didn't know they had a lot of gold mining in Colombia. Was it? Yeah, from the Aztec days. It's actually pretty amazing.

They've got some really old stuff there, like old artefacts. Right. Pretty cool. But I mean, I don't know what people are expecting when they go there. Oh, okay. Maybe they're expecting too much. I've never heard of this next one. This is in Seoul in South Korea.

It's called Lotte World. Oh, it's like a theme theme park but apparently wildly underwhelming for theme parks. Next on the list this must be about number five is the Great Wall of China. How is that? You can see that from space. How is that?

I think you get there and it's not as amazing as you think. I think when you see it from space you can just see on one side was China and on one side was Mongolia. So it was kind of like differences in agriculture and stuff. Also, I feel you'd have to go a bit out of the way to get a really good section of water.

Yeah. Yeah. Okay. And then lots of parts of it are just crumbled down. I still want to see it. I still want to see it. Another South Korean theme park, Everland Theme Park.

That is number four. Number three Hong Kong Disneyland Oh okay And Hong Kong Ocean Park Second place This is rough Peru's Machu Picchu

See that's on my list Because I've never been I really want to do that But why is it underwhelming Is it because you get there And unless the weather's perfect You can't see You can't take in the vastness

And I guess a lot of people too Could ruin your photos. Yeah. Yeah. And the number one place, the most overrated tourist attraction, is the Hollywood Walk of Fame. Oh, yeah. It's pretty yuck.

It's disgusting. It's pretty yuck. It's because you watch the Oscars and you're like, oh, well, you're in Hollywood. And then you go to Hollywood and there's a drunk Optimus Prime with, like, piss down the front of his pants. Here's a dollar for a photo. Optimus Prime, like pissed down the front of his pants. That's a dollar for a funny. Optimus Prime, what happened to you?

ZM. This Friday, ZM's all-women breakfast show with Marvel Studios' Captain Marvel is happening. So it's to celebrate International Women's Day, which is this Friday, the 8th of March. And that is the day after Marvel Studios' Captain Marvel comes out. So we are a team of women, all the women here, including producers and everything at ZM,

are going to put on the show, and you guys are going to have the day off. Even that thing you hear talking about it, we call them trailers on the radio. Oh, I thought you meant me. You're like, that's a woman? This woman. The burbies over here.

No, that was made by Briony. She's a woman too. It's fully produced by women. All the women. All the women. Do you know what else? Saudi Arabia getting involved for International Women's Day as well. Because you remember they've just let women drive.

Yeah. Which is nice of them. Has it all fallen apart over there since that's happened? Not yet, no. Okay, that's good. No, seriously, this news story's doing the rounds. I don't know if you guys knew this, but Google and Apple are under immense pressure

to ban an app in their stores, in the Google Play or the Apple Store. Yeah. There's an app that the Saudi government have which lets men control where women travel and will give them border alerts if their wives try to escape them and leave Saudi Arabia. Oh.

And basically, like, tracks them. It's too late, though. On the border, he gets a beep, beep, beep. Oh, my wife's left after all this repression. Well, and they're really worried now because they can take the car, you know. They're allowed to drive. Well, exactly. So is it like a GPS?

Well, it's like find my iPhone but find my wife. Oh, my God. Find my wife. And no, but seriously, yeah, a lot of people in it's like, find my iPhone, but find my wife. Find my wife. Seriously, yeah, a lot of people in US, like, senators now and the media are saying, well, you know, you guys have got to remove this app. But because the Saudi government obviously fund a lot of governments

and things around the world, they're kind of... With their petroleum. Yeah, they're kind of a bit quiet on the whole matter. So they're like, yeah, you can drive, but then we're just going to track where you are at all times. Yeah. Man. So advanced.

So advanced. So advanced. One step forward, two steps back. From the ZM Think Tank, this is the top six. Hello there. I read a headline that said the best and worst places in New Zealand have a mortgage-free house. And I thought, surely if you've got a mortgage-free house,

anywhere's a good place to have it. You'd think so, wouldn't you? But then I read more into it. And the issue is that if you've got a mortgage-free house, you should sell it and get yourself some more mortgage while you can afford to pay the mortgage so that you have more money. This article brought to you by banks? Yeah, pretty much.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Banks, hey, you got some money. You want to give us that money and then get some more money? Then we'll charge you some money to have our money. I know you had your own money, but have some more money. It'll only cost you money. But this doesn't seem a problem likely to affect our generation. No.

The generation that have bought houses during housing booms, and although interest rates have been low, you pretty might have that paid off by the time you retire at 80. So the top six other problems you probably won't have to worry about is today's top six. Number six on the list are the oceans being full of too many fish. Too many fish. Have you tried to swim in an ocean lately?

Fish everywhere. That's a problem you're not going to have to worry about. Number five on the list of the top six other problems you probably don't have to worry about are not enough extreme weather events. Like, you'll be like, man, we haven't had a bloody drought for a while. Everything's just levelled out lovely, isn't it?

We get rain when we're supposed to. It's nice and warm, but not too hot. And in winter, it's not too cold. We don't have big, massive storms and crazy. It's just, we could do with a few more of those. That's a problem you're not going to worry about. Number four on the list of the top six other problems you probably don't have to worry about.

Ocean levels going down. That's a problem you're not going to have to worry about because that's not really happening, is it? No. They're coming up. Lake levels, they're going down. That might be a problem you have to worry about. Ocean levels going down, is it? No. They're coming up. Lake levels, they're going down. That might be a problem you have to worry about. Ocean levels going down, not going to happen.

Number three on the list of the top six other problems you're not going to have to worry about, a staggeringly low number of rodent pests. I haven't seen a possum or a rat or a stode or a weasel or a ferret forever is something you probably won't have to say. Have you got that trap yet? The electronic? No, the compressed air trap.

Yeah. No, I haven't. Oh. Have you heard about this, Megan? Have I? We literally talk about it. We literally talk about them three times a week. I wish you'd said that you wanted to buy one of those.

Megan, it shoots a rat. It shoots a rat and then the app on your phone is like, and it's like, you've got one. That's sick. It's not sick, Megan. They're pests. Sick and twisted. They're pests.

Get up in the morning, you're like, oh, a notification. Okay, I got a middle of the night message from a friend that lives in London and I've had two rat kills. Fantastic. What great news to wake up to. That's gross. I want one so bad. Why don't you buy one?

Please buy one so I can stop hearing about it. I'll set up that little motion activated cameras I've got by it too so we can watch the gruesome killings. Okay, so that won't end the chat. When you get one, I'll just hear about it even more. Oh, yeah, you'll get a rundown every morning of my kill rate. Number two on the list of the top six other problems you probably won't have to worry about.

Too many damned rhinoceroses. So me, you can't turn a. Too many damned rhinoceroses. So me, you can't turn a corner without seeing a rhinoceros is a problem we will not have to worry about. And the number one problem you won't have to worry about,

not enough plastic in the oceans. Yeah. You know? It's quite sarcastic this. Lashing. Long gone the days of going swimming and seeing the beautiful single-use plastic bags swimming freely in the ocean.

Yeah. As a problem, you will not have to worry about. That is today's top six. There's a situation with some yellow parking lines that kind of make it look like if you don't want it to be a no parking zone, you can just paint over them. Okay.

Because this is what's happened in Sandringham in Auckland outside a very popular Indian takeaway joint. Okay. A restaurant you can go in there as well. It's called Paradise. So if you're in the area, you may have tasted the delicious cuisine. As an ex-Sandringham resident, I can say, yes, it was quite nice. Was it?

Okay. Yes, it was quite nice. But anyway, there's some yellow lines got put outside the store to indicate this is a no parking zone to free up because it's a very busy road. Okay. And you can't park there. Well, to take care of that,

someone's just painted over them with black paint. And it went unnoticed for a long time. Okay. It went until somebody was like, what's happened here? And there was some traffic issues, so they came out and looked, and they said it seems someone's painted over these yellow lines with black paint. The owners of the store that would benefit from having parking right outside have no idea what happened.

But that might not be them. To be honest, it could just be a customer who's like, well, I'm going to park outside and get my naan and butter chicken combo because that's what I'd get. Yeah, so I mean, Or exactly,

it could be somebody over the road who now has their driveway often parked over because of the lack of the parking on the other side of the street. So I feel sorry for the business owners because yeah, everyone's pointing the finger at them

because it's more obvious, you know. Yeah, and you would have noticed, but then when someone's asking, you've got to do your best. I didn't notice. I didn't even notice. Out there. I just assumed you guys had come back in. Because normally it's the other way around.

Remember that guy in Wellington and his little head that kind of lived on the hill and painted some. He put his own yellow lines there. Yeah, that's a great idea. But then that guy kind of had a point too because he said when people parked there, other people came around the corner and smashed into them. So it was him not wanting accidents outside his house, but also seeing how to solve a problem of too many accidents on the corner.

So I think the council in that case actually did paint them there. They did. Put in some proper ones. Yeah, put in some proper ones after there's no parking kind of saved the day. But, you know, if that's a problem, if you've got some yellow lines outside your house.

I don't think we should be encouraging more parking. Paint over them and plead ignorance. And then put the white parking ones up. I think they're quite obvious to spot because they're always a bit wonky. Are they though?

Yeah, I've seen a couple in my time when people have tried their own lines. How would you do it? Would you make sort of a stencil? You get a cardboard, you get a big cardboard box, like a fridge box. I didn't even think of that.

But it's straight lines. They use a different paint. They open the road markers to doing, you know, like cash jobs under the table. Like on the way home. Yeah, you know, like Cash Cash jobs under the table Like on the way home Yeah, for a free parking zone outside your house Or some yellow lines Yeah

I mean, not if they value their job, probably not Oh, good luck proving Yeah, true You say it's a different sort of paint What kind of paint? I don't know It just doesn't look like the paint you buy to paint your house, you know Or your walls.

Yeah. It needs to be very durable. And it's kind of got some reflective... I feel like it's got a reflective tinge to it. Put some glitter in. Put some glitter in, sure. Paint your own yellow lines and then just, like, put a layer of glitter in.

Yeah, again, that'll look obvious. That'd be pretty sweet. That'd be pretty cute having some purple sparkly lines outside your house. People are like, what are those lines for? Oh, ferry only parking. It's obvious, isn't it? Tooth fairy.

Obviously needs a place to park. Well, that'll keep the spot outside your house free all the time. That'd be very nice. Because I've never seen a fairy parking. No. No. Well, often they don't drive vehicles. Right.

And they're magically able to fly and they come at night. Okay, right. Yeah. They're magically able to fly and they come at night. Okay, right. We take to the water for this I Have Never. So I Have Never is basically someone lets us know what they've never done. And we fulfill that dream for them. So Lydia messaged us. And while the three of us have never actually seen a whale, she has had three failed attempts to see whales where she's paid

to go on a whale watching excursion. Because that's, you're not guaranteed are you? No. And they spell that out but there's been different reasons why it's just never paid off and she's still never seen a whale. Alright we are approximately five nautical miles offshore. I like when you go on

the sea you start talking in miles. We're here with Lydia who's never seen a whale. I've tried three times, has not happened. Today's the day. So we've just had to sit back inside because they're zooming to the whale. You have a passion for seeing a whale. You said you've tried three times. Yes, that's right.

In 2016 it was my New Year's resolution to see a whale. I tried at the start of the year and then tried at the end of the year and then also tried again in November. And all three times we were called off by either weather or the Kaikoura earthquake. This is a lot more of like an adrenaline buzz than I thought it would be. Like we all got out and then they're like, get to your seats dammit! And we're like running back in and she's like, we are giving chase! How are you feeling?

Oh, I'm going to be a blubbering mess. Are you actually going to cry? Uh, Jerry's out. Not sure. When we stop, no mucking around. Get out there, alright? James, you were too slow getting up before. I'm breaking the rules. I'm standing up. I fell on a tail!

Oh my god! Oh my god, I don't know what to say to you because I'm a bit stunned myself. But there's a sperm whale right in front of you now. It's unbelievable. This is incredible oh guys look how big it is oh my god oh my god that doesn't look real oh Lydia

oh I just got super wet I don't care oh my god we are so close to it. I just realized everyone on the boat is in stunned silence. Like no one knows what to say. Are your eyes watering? Yeah, a little bit. Yeah. I wasn't prepared for how that would make me feel. We're all just like... It was a beautiful moment.

Wow. It's crazy because I was like, yeah, I'll be right, man. It's only a bloody whale. But then when the tail went, I was like, God, you're majestic. It's so beautiful. You're a beautiful beast. And Lydia joins us now. That was a little while ago.

Over a week ago now, Lydia. How's the emotion listening back to that? Does it feel like you're back out there on the sea? Good morning. How are you? Good, good. I can't get that stupid grin off my face, eh? I just, oh, man, I completely lost all of my cool on that boat.

Especially back on that, I was very excited. Given the fact that you'd tried so many times to see one and it just never happened for you. Yeah, exactly, yeah. Yeah, it was amazing. I think you kind of mentioned it a little bit. When that tail came out of the water, it was almost like I wasn't prepared for it.

Like, I thought, oh this is this is gonna be cool i'm gonna see a whale and then that tail came out and it's like a stillness kind of like went over my body i feel like that happened to everyone because everybody else was like it was it was pretty good because they they they track them and they kind of hang around when they come to the surface for a while yeah and then they go down for like what 30 to 40 minutes at a time yeah so you go out on the boat. It was a lot more of a technical process than I thought. I just imagined we'd go out on the boat and there'd be just whales everywhere.

You just look for them and be like, oh, pretty. They put a microphone. It was actually a really technical experience. Yeah, they drop like a microphone and they can tell whereabouts it is from that and then you kind of go to where it's going to surface and they've been doing it so long they can kind of work it out. And they kind of know when they're going to go back down. So they're like, get ready for the tail.

And then it pops up and everyone's just like, oh my god. It was incredible. So we're glad that we could have given you your first Lydia. And our first as well. That was amazing. Thank you so much. So, so great. It is something, you know, when you have friends that come to New Zealand

they do that. They go whale watching, but it's not something you normally do, is it? No, I just never thought about doing it. Yeah. Crazy. Oh, I did, but... Well, you did. You tried multiple times.

I did like three times and it never happened. And now you can take that off the bucket list, Lydia. I can. I'm so happy. We have to say special thanks to Whale Watch Kaikoura. They have a Kiwi Whale Watchers Club. So this is an exclusive club. It's open to Kiwis who get 50% off their whale watching tours

during the period of May to October. So, I mean, we fully recommend doing it if you've never done it before. It's amazing. I get seasick. And here's a little tip for beginners. There's a pharmacy in Kaikoura that sell things called the Kaikoura Crackers. Now, this is a non-paid endorsement. Kaikoura Crackers.

Kaikoura Crackers. You went there. We were all eating our overpriced sandwiches from the local bakeries. Yeah. And I just went in and I said, I'm after some seasick medication. I hear this is the place to come. And they have this like shelf of it. And they're like, do you want one of those

or do you want the behind the counter stuff? And I was like, oh, here we go. And then they got me out the Kaikoura crackers. And you were fine. They were amazing.

You were fine. I'm glad I bought way too many because I bought enough for kind of everybody and not everybody had some. And I was just, I'm stoked that I've got some left over. They worked so well.

I can go on a boat. Yeah, well, I can go on a boat. Yeah, right. I can go on a boat, guys. So what's in this stuff? Methamphetamine. No. I was awake for three days. And at the end of it, I committed an awful axe crime.

But there was absolutely no motion sickness. I even sat in the back seat in the car on the way home. That's big for me too. That is big for you. I don't do that. I don't do that. Have we mentioned that I won that game?

What am I thinking? On our road trip back from Kaikoura? Everyone poo-pooed the Vaughan Smith road trip game but then everybody got well on board.

It's a great game. You just think of something. Anything. Anything. One thing and you have to ask questions to find out what it is. And Megan lasted

like 30 seconds. Is it a road cone? Yes. I wanted to make it easy so everyone felt included. You never pick something you see. And Ternani, though, absolutely hated this game. I was ropeable. You came up with the silliest thing.

It was a silly suggestion. No, Fletch, I chose a carab... What? I was going to say Fletch's one would be... Carabin. The ultimate. A carabiner. I know, I wasn't going to say a Fletch.

Oh, okay, yeah. And nobody could think of carabiner And then when it was guessed Like 45 minutes later Inter 90 was Rope ball Crying foul I just felt like I needed

That 45 minutes of my life back Because if you're playing a game You should play it like a good sport And not make it too hard It should be medium hard No it's good And what was that town We had to guess it before

Or we had to buy an ice cream Cheviot Yeah And we got it just before We got to Cheviot So he had to buy his own ice cream Missed out on free ice cream Alright F.E. Yeah. And we got it just before we got to Cheviot. So he had to buy his own ice cream. Missed out on free ice cream. All right.

FEM. ZM. It was 1999, so it's 20 years ago since Trade Me launched celebrating its 20th anniversary. Wow. And they have released

their biggest auctions. Their three biggest. Oh, like money-wise? Hats-wise. Oh, hats. I mean, you know, they might not have made much money, but they were the ones.

Because there's been lots of crazy ones in the headlines over the years. Yeah. Was there a dolphin? Someone did a dolphin in their pool? Yes. That's not. I've got the top three. So that wasn't one of the top three.

The third biggest in the whole 20 years of Trade Me was the chance to push the button on the explosives to bring down Radio Network House in Christchurch. Oh, yeah. Remember that? And it was a great explosion, wasn't it? Implosion. Implosion it was, yeah. The second biggest auction on the site was for a possessed printer, which was listed in 2013, which racked up a million views.

I don't remember that one. The ad began, words cannot express how much I hate this printer. It never works when I need it to. It's like it knows when I have to urgently print something. It randomly decides if it wants to work wirelessly or not. I guess wireless scanning back in printing in those days wasn't as good as it is now. The most viewed auction, 1.7 million times.

When I say this, you'll remember it. Okay. Remember Tana Umunga? He was in the bar. Yep, the handbag. And his mate did something and he grabbed someone's handbag and whacked him. Smashed him with the handbag.

Whacked him with the handbag. Well, that handbag went up for sale and was bought for $22,000. Do we know what kind of handbag it was? I don't think it was a flash one. I just think it was the fact that it was used by Tana Umanga. It seems a lot. Well, yeah, I know. Megan's right.

Like, if it's just a standard handbag. Yeah, I guess so. What's that handbag place in the mall? What's the luggage place in the mall? Strandbags. Strandbags. Strandbags. Come in there.

I don't know. I don't know where it was from. Good Lord. The first vehicle, they've come out with a few firsts as well from the site. The first vehicle listed was a Subaru Impreza in 2003. So that's four years after it launched. Many.

There would have been many a Subaru Impreza listed since. Yeah, you'd say so. It's a popular car, isn't it? And the first house was listed for $250,000. It was in Mission Bay in 2005. And that house is probably worth like eight times. Does it say what address the house is? It doesn't.

It doesn't say. Because you can go and see what it's valued at now. Oh, it'd be worth so much money, you'd imagine. Wow. That's right, because when they first launched, they weren't licensed

to do vehicles. There was a whole lot of... I think it came later, yeah. And then property was the same. Because, yeah, they've got a screenshot of what it looked like in 2000 and...

Oh, in 1999. Oh, wow. Hee, hee, hee. So simple. Yeah. Kind of looks like... It looked a bit like Craigslist, the American listing site, which is real, real basic looking.

Right. Like a computer version of the paper classifieds. Oh, well, happy birthday. Happy birthday. Happy birthday, Trade Man. Happy birthday, Trade Man. We've all sold stuff and sent it for free at work, haven't we? Happy death anniversary to the classifieds in the paper

and those little local papers telling you what was for sale in the area. I went in the waka and it was called the loot. You used to pick up the loot if you were after a car. Well, R.O.P. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. I didn't go, but I saw, judge my story, a lot of my friends did. A lot of people.

That looked amazing. Don't you see a couple of Instagram stories in the concert? Just a couple. Just a couple. And you know the dots went real small. It was like dot, dot, dot, dot, dash, dash, dash, dash. You're just like, just give the old swipe through. To avoid FOMO.

Saw the first couple. Yeah, otherwise you're just like, damn it, I should have gone. Some friends of mine went and said it was slick. Did they say slick? Did they use that word? No, no, no. Not like, you know, but I remember like the whole. Oh, yeah.

This is going to sound weird, but sometimes it's hard. Like rap doesn't translate super great into stadium shows. Do you know what I mean? You're right, you're right, yeah. Maybe more intimate or live sometimes. But apparently this just flowed together very well. Slick, flow, you know, what other words can I chuck in here to make myself seem wildly out of touch?

Slick, flow. Slick, flow, bro. So from what words can I chuck in here to make myself seem wildly out of touch? Slick flow, M&M. Slick flow, bro. So from what I heard, it was pretty radical. Dudes and dudettes both had a great time. Yeah, nice. Sick. Shaka. Okay.

Gnarly. Want to talk now about a girlfriend. Shut up. A girlfriend has called out her boyfriend for what he isn't doing on social media. She has said she's 20. She's got a boyfriend who is apparently very, very affectionate. However, not on social media.

So she's put up screenshots of a situation. She said, I find it funny that behind closed doors, my boyfriend's like, baby, let's get cuddles. Chugga chugga cho-choo-choo. The cuddle train is coming round. Next stop, Cutie Pie Village, Population U. Oh, dude, knock it off. Then she puts up a caption of, or a screenshot of his Instagram,

and it's a picture of her. They've gone hiking together, and he captioned it, hiking with my broski. So this is why this has gone viral. Yeah, and the amount of females that were like, yes, yes. Behind closed doors, a soppy-ass mess, and then on social media, like, tough as nails. Yeah, just out with a girlfriend.

Basically, behind closed doors, it's in its honeymoon period, but on social media, you're already 10 years down the track. That's when you start calling your partner. There's pictures of them together, and they're cuddling, behind closed doors it's in its honeymoon period but on social media you're already 10 years down the track. Yeah. Because that's when you start calling your partner. There's like pictures of them together and they're like cuddling

and his captioner's had to stop and take a pic with a fan. Lads, lads, lads, lads. Lads, lads. Can't show the lads that I'm real lovey-dovey. Lads, lads, lads, lads.

Super cute but I'd love to know people in a similar situation because there's so much feedback on this post. You just reckon, and especially Kiwi guys would be like this. Oh, yeah. 100%.

Dobbin, your partner, how cute is he or she behind closed doors? How cute is your partner behind closed doors? Compared to their public persona. I reckon Korn is a bit like this. Because you're like, Sade rings and you're like, hey, pal. G'day, mate. G'day, mate. G'day, mate. No, we're pretty.

No, we're not really. Do you ever? It's pretty matesy. Do you ever do a cute voice? No. No. If there's anyone that does a cute voice, it's you. Yeah, I know.

But everyone knows that about me. But they do it in public. You do it in public as well. In public and private. Yeah. On social media. But Vaughn, I just can't imagine it. But then, yeah.

I'll do a cute voice, but it's primarily for my own entertainment. Okay. All right, so 0800DARNZM, give us a call or a text now, 9696. If you've got this situation happening. Yeah, how cute is your partner behind closed doors? All right, give us a call. FEM. Talking now about how cute your partner is behind closed doors. All right, give us a call. Talking now about how cute your partner is behind closed doors.

A Canadian college student has gone viral for a tweet about the two sides of her boyfriend. So behind the scenes, he's like, chugga chugga choo choo cuddle train. And then calls her broski on Instagram. Everyone's like, can relate. Samar, text messages in on how cute your partner is in public compared to behind closed doors. Somebody said, my husband is a tough Kiwi builder type by day and a playful, cute tickle machine by night. A tickle machine.

Watch out for the tickle machine. Tickle, tickle, tickle, tickle. Somebody said, I'll often ring my partner. Part of his job, he drives around and he'll pick up people and take them to work sites. I can tell the minute he answers the phone if he's in the van by himself

because he's like, hello, sugar plum. Yet if I ring when he's got the lads in the car, it's, you get it, bud. Yeah, yeah. And I always play it up when he's in the car with the lads. I love you. Say you love me back. Say you love me back. All right, say you love me back.

Yeah, all right, man. I love you too. Anna, what happened? So my hubby's quite the manly man. He comes from a family of manly mans. Yeah. And he accidentally sent a text message to his mum and dad instead of to me in his cutie pie talk,

which is kind of hilarious. So how does his cutie pie talk go when he's messaging you? So it was literally like, hey, cutie pie, how are you? I love you. All this sort of language. He's probably listening right now like, oh, my God, what are you doing? I love it. I love it.

Does he do like a baby voice to you at home? He does, which is kind of funny because he would never do that in front of his parents. I love it. And what about in front of his friends the same? They wouldn't even know. No way, no way. He's like this manly man with a beard like lumberjack looking

kind of a chap. All curtsy behind closed doors, isn't he? Brilliant. Anna, thanks for your call. Some other text messages in. Somebody said, my partner's a mechanic. When I call him at work, it's all, yeah, mate, hold on, hold on. I'll just go over here where it's quiet. And he goes into a back room and says, hello, honey pie.

And he gets into the back room and it's like a secret little bat cave for cuteness. Yes. Retire back there and become a cute man with all the cutesy talk. So, yeah, it's happening. Good. It's happening. And that's cute man with all the cutesy talk. So yeah, it's happening. Good. It's happening. I reckon that's Fletch too.

You'd do that. Yeah, mate. Yep. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Moosh Monday. Moosh Monday is where we hear your emotional stories that then is triggered by a song from your past. And joining us this morning is Shelby.

Good morning, Shelby. Good morning. All right. So, by the way, I'm on board with this song for Moosh Monday because I love this whole album when it came out. That's so surprising. Yeah, I don't know. Okay. So many memories.

So before you tell us the song, Shelby, tell us the emotional story. Okay, it's really embarrassing. But I was in middle school back in the States. Yeah. And I was a bit of a tomboy. So I had short hair, I had a bowl cut, played lots of sports. So guys showing me attention was a bit of a big deal. So it was kind of one of those things where I don't even

know if the poor guy realized that we were a bit of an item. Surprise. Hey, we all had one of those in high school, someone that didn't really know that you were far further down the track than them. So it was one of those things where, you know, you'd have to call the house phone and wait for his mum to, like, go and get him and everything. So we talked every night for, like, a week. And then literally the next week he was just stopped calling and was kind of at school with another girl.

And I was like, absolutely gutted. And so this entire album was just, like like the soundtrack to my life in middle school. But this song, I literally played on repeat for about two or three days to the point that the CD would get hot. And so it was just, it was so bad. But the icing on the cake was during the next week when he was kind of with this other girl. I called his house and his mom went and got him and I just took the phone and held it up to the CD player and played this. Bless your soul.

Yes. The worst bit is kind of reflecting on now and I was telling my husband about this and I played this song for the first time in like, I don't know how long and I listened to it and I was like how is this what I was like relating to at the time but it's just it's so good so this song went platinum or gold in a lot of countries it was number one it's a goodie uh or in at least the top five in pretty much every country when it came out and I think it broke records here in New

Zealand uh or held records for a long time into the 2000s and even now. And it mended Shelby's broken heart. Yeah. And I think the fact that I still know every word is just, it's scary, but I'm feeling some of you guys, it's the same. But it's, yeah, it's a banger. Okay, well, why don't you introduce your Mosh Monday for us, Shelby? So my Mosh Monday is Aberleven Complicated.

Yeah! Yes! All right, you're on ZM. Cause life's like this That's the place Chill out, what you yelling for? Lay back, it's all been done before And if you could only let it be You would see I like you the way you are

When we're driving in your car You will see I like you the way you are When we're driving in your car And you're talking to me one on one But you become somebody else Round everyone else You're watching your back Like you can't relax You're trying to be cool

You look like a fool to me Tell me Why do you have to go and make things so complicated And see it that way Or act like you're somebody else Scared to be frustrated Life's like this, you You fall and you crawl and you break and you take

What you get and you turn it into Honesty, promise me I'm never gonna find you thinking No, no What if you're gonna make things so complicated See you the way you are Acting like you're somebody else gets me frustrated Life's like this, you You fall and you crawl and you break

And you take what you get and you turn it into Honesty, you promised me I'm never gonna find you Fake it Oh no Avril Lavigne complicated arms at airmates most Monday Fleets Ford and Megan This is the stupidest thing You may have seen on the internet

For some weird twisted reason People are throwing slices of cheese on their baby's face. So you don't process cheese slices that are real yum, and you peel off the individual packaging. No, you suck it out of the plastic. Real bad. What? You suck it out of the plastic bit.

Makes it last longer. Who does that? You're talking about a cheese wedge. No, no, no. The ones that are square and it's covered in plastic. You suck it out of the... You know you're the other. It opens. You don't need to suck it out. You's covered in plastic. You suck it out of there. You know you need to know if it opens.

You don't need to suck it out. You know it lasts longer if you suck it out of there. That's weird. No, people do that. No, because I used to fold it in half and half and half

and make a little... And make a huge cube. And if you can fold it seven times it'll reach the moon. Yes. And then just have a little at a time.

Oh, you... Oh, I used to do that and then gob the whole thing. Oh, okay. Of course you did. Of course you did. Yeah. But I've just thought about every individual wrap of that plastic.

That's not good. Oh, no, it's not good for the environment. Terrible packaging. But how yum is that cheese? Well, kids love it. My kids go crazy for it. But anyway, these people are just launching it onto babies' faces. So how did this start?

I don't know. I feel like somebody had their baby in the kitchen. They were making a sandwich and they dropped it and it landed on their baby's face. The baby's at their feet and it slops on the baby's face. Both slices of cheese are really like adhesive, you know? They are a bit sticky in the sandwich cheese. Because why are they so plastic-like, these cheese?

Just overly processed. Yeah, it's really processed cheese. And no one's got the money to be throwing a wheel of camembert on the kids' heads. And also if you throw a wheel of camembert on the kids. And also if you throw a wheel of camembert at a baby it could they're quite heavy

as I'm saying. But you don't want to do brain damage. Especially if they've still got a soft fontanelle. You don't want a wheel of cheese giving your kid brain damage because of the soft bit

on the head. Are people angry about this because if I had a kid it would be getting cheesed? I wouldn't. Why? I'd do it to my kids now they're older

and they'd like think it was funny, but, like, an unknown baby just being like... There's something really cruel about it. It's harmless. But they are 100% defenceless. Yeah, yeah, I know. But it's just a piece of cheese. It's got, like, a landing pad on its head.

Yeah, but then you can't complain when they grow up and you're really old and they chuck you in a shitty nursing home because you cheese sliced them. That's a foregone conclusion. As an infant. Like, wow, we're at it. So I've found some slices of cheese. Nice thing we have one each.

The problem is you need a smooth face, which is a problem for me because I've got the beard. So I'm going to take my hat off because I've got a recently shaved head. And we're going to have a slice each and try to cheese slice the person to our right. Is there a rule how close you have to be? This is a waste of cheese. I don't know. This is Swiss cheese.

This is fancy cheese. Oh, it's yummy. Who's is this cheese? Fancy. Don't eat the cheese, Megan. So how does this work? You just like chuck it on my face? I don't even know why.

I guess it's because when it lands on a kid's, it lands on an adult's face, your immediate reaction would be to take it off. But the kid's got to sit there for a little bit like, what's on me face? Right. Do we have a rule on how close we have to be? Do we need to be like three steps away?

I need you because I really want to land it on your head. Because Vaughn's to be like three steps away? I really want to land it on your head. Because Vaughn's farther away from me than you. I want to land it on your head. I know, I want to land it on Megan's face. Actually, there would be some sweeter... Okay. Wait, who's going first? We're not all going at the same time because I need to concentrate.

Fletch, you throw it on my face first. You're all throwing it on my face. No, I'm going to throw it on Fletch. Okay, here we go. No, you're not. What are you doing? You've got to lob it. Coming right over to slap it on. No, no, no, you've got Fletch. Okay, here we go. No, you're not allowed. What are you doing? You've got to lob it. Coming right over to slap it on.

No, no, no, you've got to lob it. You've got to lob. You can't just slap it on his head. You've got to lob toss it. How many times have I told you you're not just allowed to slap it on my face? Hey, don't move, okay? Stand still. Point your head down a bit more.

Okay, ready? Oh, I missed. Oh, it bounced off. It bounced off. That was weird. It sounded really weird. I'm going to do the slap on the head. Ready? Oh, this missed. Oh, it bounced off. It bounced off. That was weird. It sounded really weird. I'm going to do the slap on the head. Ready?

Oh, this is... It's on there. No, it's done. You now have a piece of cheese on your bald head. It looks great. Oh, yeah, I just managed to shake it off, but that took some shaking. All right, head off, Fletch. I'm going to do you.

Oh, I'm real competitive. Oh. Your headphones. A bit of headphone feedback. Oh! Yay! Guys, it feels like we're a youth group. We're having some outrageous Christian fun.

And then you go home and mum and dad are like, how was youth group? And you're like, we threw cheese on each other's faces. And your mum and dad are like, well, that's a waste of cheese. But at least you're not kissing boys. Yeah. Timothy. Why was he there? To stop everyone kissing boys.

Okay, ready? Yeah. Tilt your head back so I can land it on your face. Oh, no. You missed. You missed. You just assaulted Megan with a piece of cheese. It didn't even stick to your face.

There was something very satisfying about slapping Megan with a piece. You. It didn't even stick to your face. There was something very satisfying about slapping Megan with a piece of cheese. You threw out the cheese on your head. I think that either even though we're not babies or you might not have a baby

to do this to, you should all put the piece of cheese on your head because it's ridiculous. Does it feel kind of nice and cold? It's actually quite cooling

to be honest. Oh, it didn't stick to my face. Meanwhile, the cheese has gone all furry. Yeah, it has kind of stuck to my face. Oh, it didn't stick to my face. Meanwhile, the cheese has gone all furry. Yeah, it has kind of stuck to my face. Well, I hope everyone else has enjoyed this as much as we have. Now I smell like, what kind of cheese is it? Swiss.

Swiss. It's very pungent, isn't it? Delicious. I just have to move my cheese so I can read. Mild, sweet and nutty. Yum. A couple of nuts on your head, First thing in the morning It'll wake you right up Why not?

Sweet, mild nuts Fact of the day, day, day, day, day Today's fact of the day is about the Queen's champion. You'll be, if you've watched Game of Thrones, familiar with the idea of a champion. That is somebody, if there's a disagreement, someone will fight on behalf of the crown. Oh, yeah.

You know, in Game of Thrones, famously, it was the Viper versus the Mountain. Oh, R.I.P. They elected champions in trial by combat. Oh, wait, no, Caitlin's still... No. Oh, Caitlin. I haven't even been introduced to the Mountain yet Oh, wait, no, Caitlin's still... No. Oh, Caitlin. I haven't even been introduced to the mountain yet.

Yeah, but you didn't say RIP who. Who. Yeah, true. Just as long as Susie stays alive forever. No, not Susie. Oh, Khaleesi. Oh, I get confused with the names. What are you up to, Caitlin?

End of season three. We've got one more episode of season... I'm watching it with my boyfriend. What happens in season... End of season three. Season three. Give us a... Red of season i'm watching with my boyfriend what happens in season end of season three give us a like red season three isn't it at the moment um they're trying to cross the wall john snow um look i'm kind of watching in and out you've got like a month you've got a month and a half until it's i can watch four seasons in a month have you seen the red wedding no i wasn't gonna say i think that's the last episode in season three isn't it and a half until it's... I can watch four seasons in a month. Have you seen The Red Wedding? No!

I wasn't going to say anything about it. I think that's the last episode in season three, isn't it? Maybe. I think season three is. My boyfriend's really gearing me up

for that. Do you have a boyfriend? He tells me when the scary parts are. Yeah, I've got a boyfriend. And he's already seen it. He's re-watching it all again with you.

That's love. Because Caitlin would be so much fun to watch that with. No, I know. He's really into it and I'm again with you. That's love. Because Caitlin would be so much fun to watch that with. No, I know. He's really into it. And I'm like, oh, yeah. Hurry up. Well, why are you watching it then?

Because I've got to keep up. I need to have the tea. I need to spill the tea on everything when the new season comes out. Okay. So the Queen's Champion is someone that will fight on their behalf. Now, this is an actual existing role uh in the british monarchy even today it started off way back in the day and it was at a coronation ceremony if you had uh if you didn't think someone should be the new king or queen oh okay you the queen's champion would fight

you because the king or queen couldn't fight anybody unless they were an equal you know on the chessboard yeah i don't. I just checked a chess reference and that's not true because the queen can just like obliterate anybody on a chessboard. Yeah. And the king's like, one square at a time for me.

He's like, do something. We're playing this to protect you. And the pawns are like, oh, okay, I'll take one for the team. Poof. You're out.

The queen's charging around running a diagonal. Running a diagonal. Straight up the guts. Yeah, I like the one where the team. Poof. You're out. The Queen's charging around, running a diagonal. Running a diagonal. Straight up the guts. Yeah, I like the one where you put double on them and then you can jump over them. Yeah, I like that one better. All I know is the horse goes in an L.

Yeah, it does. A Tetris piece. Yep. Three up, one aside. One of those combinations of that. So the Queen's champion started out like that. If you had a dispute to the throne, the King of Queens Champion,

they would fight the person who said that it wouldn't fit. Well, it's a tradition that's carried on. It's lost a little bit of its gusto. It's no longer a giant strong man on a horse with a big sword and a suit of armor. It is now a 65-year-old accountant called Francis. Right. Okay. He's from the family Dimock.

Dimock? Dimock? Okay. The idea was they were the family that supplied the champions, and as such they got some land and a bit of a castle and everything, but they always had to provide a champion. So it got passed down to the eldest son of the eldest son of the eldest son etc etc yeah and would go on down so yeah now the guy who is actually the accountant uh the accountant the queen's champion was born after

she was coronated he inherited it from his father okay um and he decided not to go into beheading and fighting no accountancy but running But running... It's a sensible... You know, how much you should be paying for income tax, et cetera, et cetera. And he's got an eldest son, Henry,

who was born in 1984. Okay. Who will be the champion of the next king or queen. When he dies. When his father passes. Okay. Right.

But at the moment, yeah, the queen, today's fact of the day is the Queen's champion is a 65-year-old accountant called Frances. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. The US police were called out to a, somebody deemed this to be a deranged person.

Okay. The person who called the police in Minnesota terrified, terrified that a deranged person had committed a terrible atrocity. Okay. And so they were like, heck, we better get out there quick. Yep. So they got out there very smartly, guns out. Yep.

Guns a-blazin'. Well, it's America, isn't it? Pew, pew, pew. So they said that they arrived and it was a cardboard cutout of MyPillow CEO and inventor Michael Lindell. It was a cardboard cutout of him hugging the pillow. A pillow, yeah. Imagine a man lovingly hugging a pillow.

Saying, guys, I invented a pillow. Yeah, and that was in all of his stores. Yeah. So was this the bed store or was this someone had taken it home? Oh, right. It was outside somebody's house. And they said it just looked like very... Staring into the distance with a smile.

Yeah, he wasn't moving. Right. And it was snowing. So they were worried he'd done something very bad. And then he was just like thinking about what he'd done. So they were like, quick, call the police. There's a guy outside hugging a pillow in the snow. It was a cardboard cutout of a man hugging a pillow, yes.

But the police did rush out there. Okay, well, that's not a quick response. Very quick response. So we were wondering, we'd like to hear from you this morning on 0800-DIAL-ZM where you can text 9696 when you may have prematurely called the police. We called the police one time

when there was what we thought was someone trying to break into the house. Because they, in my mind, it sounded like they were climbing on the roof and then they smashed, I thought it was a window. And I was like, oh my God, they're coming in. So we called the police.

They rappelled off the roof. Yeah. And it was, I guess you could say, a cat burglar because it was cats. It was a cat. Yeah. But what smashed? No, they just smashed a pot outside when they jumped off the roof. But it was terrifying.

And the police were very nice about it. Oh, yeah, when you let your imagination run wild, it can take you to some places pretty quickly. Yeah, it was the middle of the night. I thought we were going to be like in a burglary. Okay, all right, well, we want to take your calls. When did you panic and call the police? Well, no, because you can panic and call them.

That's fine, isn't it? Yeah, if it's innocent, it's totally fine. But maybe you had a freak out and it really was nothing to freak out about. Yeah. We want to hear your stories. 0800 Dials at M. Somebody freaked out, called the police. It turned out to be a cardboard cutout of a man holding a pillow.

It was like for a bedding pillow company, wasn't it? Yeah, he invented this pillow. And it's just heaps of cardboard cutouts, but this one was outside in the snow. And so someone called the police because they thought he was, like, staring at them. And he was holding, like, someone's head in a sack. This is basically a classic example

of when your imagination runs on you. Yeah. So we want to know when you called the police prematurely. Someone said, I was a teacher on a school camp. One girl believed she broke her ankle. Okay. Which we all knew wasn't that bad

but we called the police and they put us through to the local volunteer fire brigade. They couldn't come for ages

and then next thing we heard a helicopter and they had called the Westpac helicopter. They winched her out and flew her to Starship

and it wasn't even sprained. They diagnosed it as a light rolling. Oh, no. Who was paying that bill? I'd imagine the drama queen's parents would probably be picking up that tab, right? But at the same time, they didn't ask for the helicopter. That's true, that's true.

They just wanted to get old whingy pants carried out. Somebody else messaged in saying, I thought someone was jumping out the window of the apartment across from me. Yeah. I dialed 111. While I was talking to them about what I could see, a light came on and it illuminated the fact it wasn't someone jumping out the window.

It was a cardboard cutout of the Singapore Airlines girl. Oh, Phil. She's wearing what appears to be some kind of uniform. She's got a hat on. She's dressed in her Sunday best. Pretty face. I would guess definitely under 30.

That's the rule, I think. Jordan, you had the neighbours call the police on you prematurely? Yeah, the neighbours called the police on us because we were outside with our dogs and we were playing piggy in the middle with a ball and it was really because there's like, because I have quite a lot of siblings so we're all throwing this ball

around and the dogs were going psycho because they were in the middle and honestly the neighbours thought it was a domestic or something and at the front door these police officers turned up knocking on the door and honestly they were there for about a minute and they were like, okay, this place is safe, you guys are good, and they left.

But the neighbours freaked out. They were just like, one, one, one. Yeah, because we swear a lot when we talk as well, so we're swearing at each other for name calling. So I can imagine what they heard. Marvel Studios Captain Marvel presents ZM's

first all-woman breakfast show. This Friday it's happening, ZM's all-woman breakfast show in celebration of International Women's Day. It's very exciting. We have Hilary Barry joining us in studio. Now, Caitlin, you've been organising a lot of interviews. Yes, I am. She's executive producer of the show. Mm-hmm. Oh, no.

Even the producers, everyone that's been involved with this, even the person that made that briny, the musical bits and the beds and all that kind of stuff, all females. All got... Get it, girl. Who'd have thought?

All got vagina. Thank you for pointing that out, Caitlin. Just wanted to point that out. Yeah. So, yeah, we are going to have Hilary Barry. Oh, hell, man. She's great. Joining us on the phone, Black Fern, Kendra Coxedge.

We're going to have a chat with Jacinda Ardern, who is a woman, and she's in charge of a country. What? And she's got a baby as well, and she's not married. Would you believe it? Breaking all the rules. No, this sarcastic chat won't happen on Friday. Maybe, I don't know.

But yeah, it's going to be fun. We've got Joanna Hunkin, she is head of our entertainment here, and she had a chat with Brie Larson, who plays Captain Marvel, the universe's most powerful superhero, who also happens to be a female. We have an interview with her as well. I'll get over the sarcastic tone, I promise. It's such a line-up. I'm so excited.

Yeah, we've got a lot planned for Friday. And we've got yummy food. Do we? No, this is okay. Now I'm starting to put my foot down. This has been catered. Yeah. Bullshit.

It's been catered. It is, boom. Why is it everyday catered. Yeah. Bullshit. It's been catered. It is, Vorn. Why is it every day catered? Because not every day is special because you guys are here. This is just special for the girls. Oh, no. I'm on the team of all those idiots

saying when's men's only show now? You're more than welcome to do a men's only show. You can do that on International Men's Day. Absolutely not. I'm not doing any extra work. Yes.

Absolutely not. So join us. It's happening this Friday. ZDM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. For more, check out ZDM online. ZDM.