ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Megan Podcast - March 05 2019

Episode Date: March 4, 2019

Vaughan had an encounter with a rat and when did you hurt yourself showing off?See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Welcome one, welcome all to the Fletch, Vaughan and Megan podcast brought to you by Spark. Get four gigs of bonus data on Spark's $49 prepaid value pack. Now, on with the podcast. It's on. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. Thanks, Anya. Good morning. Welcome to the show, Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. Yes, good morning. Good morning.

Good morning. What was the band that that guy was from that has passed away? That's not funny. It's really early. The Prod... How do you say that? Prod... Prodigy. U-N-G.

It's Prodigy. Prodigy. Oh, there's a D first. Prodigy. Prodigy. No. Oh, young millennial. Prodigy.

Young millennial. Prodigy. Prodigy. Tarant No Oh young millennial Prodigy Young millennial Prodigy Tarantula Why are you I wasn't the one Giving you all the sass It was the boy But okay

Prodigy The boy just holds A high standard for news ready You know actually Say the name of the band Yeah Or just dance around it And not say it

That's how I get around Saying words I can't pronounce Or say it And then Un-say it And re-say and not say it. That's how I get around saying words I can't pronounce. Or say it and then unsay it and re-say it and say it four ways. Tres, spread your bets. Hedge your bets. What's the matter? Why are you rubbing your eyes?

It's this time of year I've got hay fever, guys. It's all good, though. Alpha or John? Is that why you couldn't read Prodigy? That's why. Guys! I'm going home. I would have blamed the hay fever.

Straight out the bat. Study every news broadcast with, I've got hay fever. And please let that excuse any mistakes in the following broadcast. All right, you lot, listen up. It's story time. Story time, three news headlines. Vaughan and Megan can only pick one. Then we delve into that story.

No Googling loud, those are the rules. Okay. Headline number one. Man claims he's never been healthier. Headline two, man gets out of jury duty. And headline three, birds attack right out of horror movie. Oh, like a swarm of birds. Yeah, like the movie Birds.

That movie's terrifying. Put a lot of people off birds, didn't it? Thanks, Alfred Hitchcock. Just making people scared of birds. Man. So for one and two, man, both men related. What was it? Man claims never to have been healthier.

Yes. I kind of like that one. Or man gets out of jury duty. Did he act crazy? I think I know story number one. Go on then. Is it the wheeze one? Yes.

Is he drinking his own wheeze? He's drinking like two litres of his own wheeze every day. Two litres of his own wheeze? But he says he's like never been healthier. You've got to introduce a new liquid as well though, right? Because you'd run his own wheeze. But he says he's like never been healthier. You've got to introduce a new liquid as well though, right? But also... Because you'd run out of wheeze. It's not fresh.

Yeah. I think he lets it sit for... on the shelf for a little bit. He lets it steep. Like a tea. Like a tea. Like a kombucha. Yeah.

Ferment. Yuck. Where does he put it? Fridge or shelf? I don't know. I don't have these details. Because I'd go fridge. Now, you might think that's weird because it would be cold,

but milk comes out of the cow warm. And what do we do? We immediately refrigerate it. Yeah, true. We drink a warm liquid cold. He'd have to be introducing new liquids because if you think about it as a... You'd water it down. Yeah, he'd have to.

I'm ready to move on. Yeah, so am I. You're dwelling on it. So do you want man gets out of jury duty? Or birds attack? You want that one? I want two. All right.

Man gets out of jury. Okay. All right, we go to Hawaii now. What a lovely idea, going to Hawaii. Wouldn't it be? A man in Honolulu was called to jury duty. Yes. And like a lot of us that have been called, I've never done jury duty.

I've always had the letter from the boss to get out of it. Three times. Yeah. Don't they do like a cycle of three or four times? They ask you in a short space of time. Yeah, and I think the next time you have to do it. I'm not too sure. You know, I've never been asked not once.

It's going to happen now. You're on the electoral roll, though, eh? Correct. I've been asked. They wouldn't let you. Not on a big trial, because you're on the radio, and they know you're loose-lipped smithy. Oh, yeah.

And you'd love it. You'd want all the goss. I would be. I'd be like, oh, girl, spill. I'm the judge. You can't refer to me as our girl. Sorry, Miss Thang. I mean, there's a chance that you might not get picked for the jury

because they ask a whole lot of people and then they exclude them. Well, this man wanted none of that. He had better things to do. So he decided to start shouting, he's guilty, he's guilty, he's guilty. And the judge, instead of dismissing him from jury service, put him in prison for the night. Oh, for contempt of court. Contempt of court. Right.

Yeah. So he got as far as getting on the jury and he was like, oh, this is actually going to take a little bit longer than expected. So he tried to get himself kicked off, but he actually got arrested for contempt of court. The man's lawyer said he was just having a bad day, didn't want to do jury duty that day. The judge ordered his arrest on a contempt charge and set $10,000 cash bail. He spent the night in jail.

He was released without being charged or fined. Right, just a little bit of a shush you. Yep. Sit down. But I'm sure there's other subtle ways you could do it without being in contempt. Yeah. I don't know, wear an offensive t-shirt or just act crazy. Yeah.

When in there, real hot, wearing something crazy, I'm sure they'd be like, no. Like when Liz Lemon on 30 Rock went and dressed as Princess Leia. Yeah. It'll get you off. It'll get you off. There's a situation on an airplane that has divided the internet. So a guy was boarding a plane and just so you know the situation, there was only two seats.

So there's an aisle and a window. Okay. So he specifically booked the aisle seat. Didn't want the window. He wanted it to be like easy toilet or something. I'm all for the window. It depends. Because you get a bit of a curve it's a bit more room

and then if you want to go nunnies you can have a lane but then you've got to climb over people to go to the toilet and you can get off like you can get up

and get off first if you are on the aisle you know get up get your bag and stuff true so he had booked

the aisle seat and he said that he saw a larger guy board the plane. And this is his words, not mine. A very obese man boards and I can tell instantly he's going to have a tough time fitting into any of the seats. But I assume he must have bought two, hence why he's even attempting to board. That's when he came and sat next to me.

So he pointed to the window seat and he was like okay well you're in here then well he jinxed himself he jinxed himself are those the rules if you are sitting on a plane

and you bad talk anybody getting on for whatever reason like oh this old girl's gonna wanna chat or oh god that screaming kid they guarantee they're gonna be

beside you or within your vicinity yeah so he said he sat down and he easily took up about a third of his seat and he was sitting there for a minute and decided to be up front and say something to the guy. He was like, I'm sorry, the situation isn't working for me and you're taking up quite a bit of my seat. He just kind of shrugged.

And he contacted- Because what's he going to do about it? Yeah, exactly. So he got in touch with the flight attendants and they came over and said that he would need to buy another seat. But the problem is there's no other seats available on like two beside each other. Yeah. So the guy sitting beside him said,

look, if you give me $150, that's half of my fare that I will feel sufficiently compensated for this inconvenience. But he'll still sit there. Yeah. He'll just be squished. But he'll still sit there. Yeah. He'll just be squished. And he'll have $150. But he won't mind because he said that's his kind of payment. What?

Right. So this is divided, people. Someone has said, and this is kind of where I sit, the problem here is that this large dude stuck with you being uncomfortable on your flight. The $150 didn't make you any less squished in your seat, so it really just feels like you blackmailed a guy for being fat. Yes, that's a good way of looking at it.

I didn't think about that. Because there's nothing he can do at that point. Yeah. And you're just, I mean, you're still stuck there, but you're now being paid $150. But is it on the airline or this guy to buy two seats next time? Should the airline say, well, this guy isn't going to fit in one of our seats. We've got to block off the one next to him. Yeah.

Or is it down to that guy to say, I can't. But how does he know until he gets there? Yeah. You know how big an airline seat is. No, but he's obviously not going to want to have to pay for two seats before he gets there. Yeah. And then what does the airline identify him at check-in? Yeah.

And say, but then, I mean, that's a loss of money to them, isn't it? Yeah. I've sat beside a really, a larger dude and like he was so apologetic and so uncomfortable. I just kind of shoveled over and I was like, you're all right, mate. But like, I don't know if it's fair to ask them to buy two seats, is it? Because how are you going to know how much they're spilling over and then, I don't know. I'm just saying if you have more than 23 kgs of luggage,

they tell you to take some stuff out and you've got to buy a second lot of luggage and that's expensive. What you're saying at check-in, you say there's... You have to weigh everyone on check-in. I'm not going to say that. Well, some airlines do, don't they? They do. Like, what's it called?

Samoa. One of the airlines. Oh, I don't know about that. But I just, I knew someone who worked there and they said if someone large was checking in, they tried to put them in a seat with no one beside them. Yeah. They tried, if there was some spare seats, they'd have a bit of a shuffle around for people who hadn't checked in yet and try to seat them

where there was a gap between them and the next person. We've got to keep an inch of humanity. I think that's cruel to do that. I had it the other way. I had a really skinny little man sit next to me in the middle. He was in the middle seat. It was great. It was like no one was next to me.

I was like, on the armrest. How small was he? I don't know. Just because he's small doesn't mean he didn't want the armrest. No, he still had the other armrest. He was still just in there. I don't know if he was a jockey or... He was that small. Could he reach the overhead

compartment? Yeah. Oh, okay. He wasn't like real tiny. I'm picturing a skeleton now. No. Then, I don't know if I actually told you this, another time I sat Like he wasn't like Real tiny I'm picturing a skeleton now No Then I don't know if I actually told you this Another time I sat next to An all black

Who had the middle seat Really? And He opened up his Instagram And I was like Having a little cheeky Of course you were That's why I wear sunglasses on the plane

So I can look at what the people around me do Oh yeah I always look at what's on people's screens I tell you what, he opened up his Instagram inbox. There were some, a lot of messages. Was he boobies?

What are you saying? People were sliding into his DMs. A lot of messages. Was he boobs? Some thirsty messages. Oh, real. Well, no, I'd just say there was a lot of people

contacting the said person. Oh, really? Yeah. I mean, I don't think he was replying to any of them. I was just like, that inboxes. Can't blame people for trying. From the ZM Think Tank, this is the top six. Hello there.

A new look for the 18 plus cards has been less than smooth in its entry to the market. Young people have been turned away from bars and bottle stores because the staff haven't been told about the new Kiwi Access 18 Plus cards. So these are replacing 18 Plus cards. And if you don't have a driver's license or you don't want to carry around your passport, you can use these. Also, if you're a backpacker, you can get one when you first get to New Zealand. Right.

Because if you don't want to carry around your passport and you've only got a foreign driver's license, that's not always accepted as identification. The trouble is they didn't tell everybody that they were changing these. And the design is very basic. Very amateur looking, isn't it? It looks like if you opened up Microsoft Word or InDesign and you could just go default ID and then put a... Looks like that.

Yeah. It's called Kiwi Access and the top six reasons the new 18 plus Kiwi Access cards look fake. Number six, half the writing writings in red crayon, which was a real... It's a real giveaway. A real... Could have gone for a classy black crown.

I use my red crowns for underlining. Yeah. All very important title headlines. Number five on the list of the top six reasons the new 18 plus cards look fake. It was laminated, but badly laminated. Badly laminated. It's just like sellotape. Yeah, it's laminated

three corners and one of the sides is just sellotape shut. That makes it look like it's been tampered with. Number four on the list of the top six reasons the 18 plus cards look fake. The photo was upside down in half of them. Get it carried away. Chuck your photo in there.

It's upside down. Awkward. The top six reasons the new A-Team plus cards look fake. New Zealand was spelled wrong. New Zealand. New Zealand. New Zealand. Spelt wrong because they spelled it like they heard it.

New Zealand. And, oh, no. Stewart Island is there. Because, you know, there's a lot of talk about how New Zealand. And, oh no, Stewart Island is there. Because, you know, there's a lot of talk about how New Zealand gets left off maps, but how many New Zealand maps have you seen without Stewart Island? It's a very important part. It's our third biggest island. We know it's there, though. We know it's there, but we should be showing them.

What about the Chathams? Why do they call them the Chathams? I've done that multiple times. Because it's spelled Chatham. Is it? Yeah. Chatham? Why do they call them the Chathams? I've done that multiple times. Because it's spelled Chatham. Is it? Yeah. Chatham. C-H-A-T-H-A-M.

Is there an H? I didn't know there was. Chatham. Chatham. Yeah, Chatham. Chatham. Yeah, you're right. It is Chatham.

Chatham Islands. Off an M. Cheeky. Chatham Islands. Chatham. Why do we just say Chatham? Whyeky. Chatham Islands. Chatham. Why do we just say Chatham? Why do we say Chatham? Because that's also how it's spelt. Chatham. But I say Chatham. From now on I will be calling them the Chatham

Islands. Chatham. Just like I don't call Thames Thames anymore. I call it Thames. As you should. Because it should be Thames. Today's top six of the top six reasons that 18 plus cards look fake are number two, your birth dates in Roman numerals. Very hard to read.

Yeah. Lots at the end. You know Roman numerals. I know them. Yeah. I know them to an extent. I couldn't write down my birth year in them. Because once it gets into the thousands, there's lots.

There's like an M. There's a D. It's just getting very confusing. I can do the Xs and the 1s and the Vs. And the number one reason the new 18 plus cards look fake, they're A4 size. That's not a conducive size for identification that you can easily conceal in one's pocket to carry around.

No, not at all. That is today's top six. FBM. that you can easily conceal in one's pocket to carry around. No, not at all. That is today's top six. The school I'm about to talk about is McLean's College. This is in Auckland. This is an East Auckland high school. And in 2017, a boy called Jason graduated. Okay.

And he had noted that throughout his time at school, school uniforms were super expensive. Oh, aren't they? The official supplier, you know, they send out the official supplier of the school uniform. Yep. It was very expensive and he's like, I'm going to undercut them. I don't know, this feels like a personal gripe against the school, which I

am all for, but he said he wanted to provide students with a better deal. Oh, into some money making scheme. Yeah, sensing a chance to make some cash. He's entrepreneurial. So I believe it's secondhand uniforms that he's going to be selling online. So, I mean, this is a great idea. If you've got a bit of, no, no, at the end of the year, we should put this in the calendar for the end of the school year.

You know how we do those things where I just say something out loud and then we're reminded about it? Go to a school with a uniform. Oh, no, we can't do it because that would be weird. Just rock up with a whole bunch of $10 notes and be like, buy your school uniform for $10. That's creepy, eh? That's so creepy.

What, are they supposed to take it off? Yeah. Don't do that, Vaughn. Nah, I won't. Yeah. I like seeing my own children. I don't want to be banned from them. But if you're at school, let's set a reminder,

or remind the entrepreneurial, start saving your pennies. At the end of the year, because no one cares about their school uniform. People draw on the hoodie or the sweatshirt, right? You get people to sign it and stuff. Yeah, maybe.

But all the other stuff, the shirts and the shorts and the pants and the skirts and the... Unless you've got a younger brother that you can, or a sister that you can hand down to, that uniform's just going to get chunked,

isn't it? Exactly. So someone buys it off you for $10 on the final day. You get yourself a mini feed for your uniform. And then at the start of the next year, they spend some, oh, I mean, it'll just take a couple of days to get all these washed out on the line, ironed. Sell them secondhand.

It's a great idea. It is a great idea. Get mum on the banana if you're not confident enough on the banana or dad on the banana or nana on the banana and fix up any rips or holes that they've got and sell them online secondhand. Save yourself some money. What?

Has this guy run into problems? Well, the school, apparently, he's saying the school has not liked it. Right. One member of staff threatening him with deportation because he's of Asian heritage. Cut this out. Cut this out or we'll get you deported. But what can they do about it?

Probably nothing. I don't know. So when he was a student, he said that they were really expensive and these were the only place that you were officially allowed to purchase them. I was going to say, does the school make a bit of cash? I think so. If they have a one-off exclusive supplier,

they probably make a little bit of money. I wouldn't say much. I think my school had a secondhand sale. So they were like, if you're not going to use your uniform, just give it to us. Yeah, a lot of schools do. And then they did the secondhand sale themselves. Or even Trade Me Now would be a good place.

Or just community. I've seen it on community pages. People say, hey, I've got this uniform for sale. Or they've got a new one, sell it, put it towards the cost of getting a new one. These are expensive uniforms though. A new blazer for the school costs $230. Yeah, but it's got to be worn warm

and it's got to be worn like a million times. We, when I went to high school, had a sweatshirt. It was just a plain blue sweatshirt with the school logo. A sweatshirt? Scream printed on. Oh, like a cotton sweatshirt. Yeah, we had a a jersey. Yeah, we had a jersey.

And then the jersey was an option. If you lost that, you bloody heard about it, didn't you? Mines are expensive. But people were just buying blue jerseys

and then just screen printing on the logo. Oh no, you couldn't do that. No, you couldn't do that at my school. Couldn't do it.

Everyone would be like, povo. Oh, people called you povo, but you were, so you didn't care. Yeah, true.

So, you could rent one for $80 a year, apparently, according to the... Oh, I'd just do that, because then all care, no responsibility. Yeah. Just rent a new one. But then there's probably like a bond, or you might not get your... Oh, yeah, true. Money back. And you don't want to rent one that's got marks and stains on it, do you?

Yeah, because then you'd just constantly be telling the story about how you didn't shit yourself. It came with the stain. It's already like it. F.E.M. Breaking news. We reported last week that Luke Perry from 90210 Days and more recently Riverdale.

Yeah, Archie's dad on Riverdale, he's passed away. So was it a stroke last week? Massive stroke. Massive stroke. That he never recovered from. We'll have more details in the news next with Anya. A story, though, that we need to warn you about. A different type of catfishing.

You all know catfishing. So you're talking to someone online and they say there's someone and then not really who they say they are. They don't exist. Rental catfishing. It's not as sexy. Hey, baby, what are you doing? I'm a three-bedroom.

I've got good indoor-outdoor flow. Got a heat pump. Got an HIV. Double blaze. Got a spa pool. Actually, that sounds divine. It does, doesn't it? A spa pool?

Oh, no, you're lying. What rental has a spa pool? Actually, that sounds divine. It does, doesn't it? Spa pool? Oh, no, you're lying. What rental has a spa pool? You went too far with your catfishing. Oh, really? Okay. Say things like internal access garage. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah, baby.

I can park and get out of my car without getting wet. What? Rental porn. I've got a nice lawn. North-facing. It's that time of year where sadly it is quite competitive. And you know, it is hard to find a place

because everyone's back to uni, back to, I don't know, starting their new lives. Back to life. Back to reality. And this has been happening a bit and a story from the Hawke's Bay. Someone paid $400 to a scammer and they didn't even own the property.

They just got the photos off of a real estate website. What? Yeah. So they were like, it's so nuts that people won't even see a house in person before they're like,

I'll take it. In some cases, this isn't obviously new. This does happen, yeah, quite a bit. And so, yeah. So they just saw the pictures and how was it only 400 bucks? Did they not ask for bond and all of that?

No, it would have been one week's rent, right? Something like that, just to lock it in. Right. And then we'll sort the bond later. Because if you're going to put bond, you pay it straight to the tenancy. Yeah. So they said, well, look, can we view the property? And they said, oh, look, can we view the property?

And they said, oh, look, I'm in Wellington. I'm unable to get there to show you the property, that kind of thing. So, yeah, a whole lot of red flags you've got to pay attention to. Wow. That is so stink. Yeah, it is. Especially because the person said they'd borrowed the money from mum and dad. So they felt bad for mum and dad. But if they weren't giving it to someone in cash,

surely they can see where... Trace it? Yeah, the bank account that they put it into. Or was it like a PayPal-y or a... How did they do it? Well, they said they paid a deposit and then she was asked to pay another fee. And that's when she was like, uh-uh. And the money just disappeared. Gone.

Yeah. That's pretty stinking. Rang the tenancy tribunal and they're like, what? And they can't do anything. It's not actually a tenancy situation, is it? It's a fictional tenancy situation. But then surely, like, fraud. The police and the banks

and stuff would... Yeah, so they've talked to police and they're investigating. So you need to see the property or see the people at least. If you're not going through the property, then yeah. Well, at least, I mean, $400 is a lot of money, but it could have been worse. It could have been the bond and everything.

Yeah, two weeks advance and a bond. Yeah. And a letting fee. And then that spa pool fee for Fletcher's fictional catfishing rental. You have to pay $100 up front for the chlorine. Yeah, do you pay? Do you do that? I write.

I've got the chlorine there, do you? Yeah. All right, okay. Talking snacks now because a group of Australian mums have shared a little snack hack. So they obviously have little ones in the house, but they still want to have treats. Snack time.

Snack time, but they don't want to share. Mummy's snack time. Mummy's special stash. So they have like a stash of snacks, whatever it is, whether it's chocolate or lollies, and they hide it in things with different packaging or inside things that kids wouldn't like the look of. Do you do this Vaughn? Not really. Just high cupboards. like the look of. Do you do this Vaughan?

Not really. Just high cupboards. I've kept things in the car before that I don't want to share with anybody. I had a box of scorched almonds and I kept them in the car but then I forgot about them and it got really hot in the car and it melted

but then it set back together and I had a scorched almond bar. What, like kind of like a big almond slab? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Really big almond slab. It kind of had a picnic-y vibe to it because it looked like poop. Like a big almond slab? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Really big almond slab. It kind of had a picnic-y vibe to it because it looked like poop. Like a really big poop. Okay.

So there's pictures of them hiding them in like pads. You know, like Libra pads. What are they snacking on that can fit in a pad box? There's a little packet of chippies in there. A tiny packet of chippies. Yeah. And then behind like all your adult books, because you're not going to be pulling those out of the bookshelf.

Yeah. Oh, so not erotic novels like books. I suppose there might be a couple of erotic novels in there. Right. And mum will always have a Mills and Boone or a Fifty Shades now maybe even. It's quite a length to go to, but you know, I understand it. Yeah. If you've got your special snacks,

you've got to keep them safe. It's the same as in like a flat. You've got to find hiding places for your snacks. Well, most of the time in the flat,

you just put them in your room, don't you? In your room, yeah. But then that doesn't stop some flatmates from going into your room. And like if it's hot and it's chocolate,

you need to like stash it in the fridge or something so it doesn't melt. Yeah, true. Yeah. I don't know how you'd hide it in the fridge. Get a box of...

In something. Yeah, I'd say in something else. So right at the back, at the top. Yeah. So I'd love to know this morning off the back of this, these Australian mums, where you hide your snacks. Do you have a special hiding place? So also, I want to hear from people that hide snacks from their partners. Oh, yeah.

Because it's not just hiding from kids. You could be, you know, doing one of those partner diets, a dual losing weight thing together. Yeah. Or going to the gym. And you hide the M&Ms in your undie drawer. Yeah. So everyone's like, let's wear, no junk food,

but you have a special hiding place for it. You wouldn't do the undie drawer because if you're doing laundry and putting the undies away and you put them in and you like push everything in your hair, you'd be like, what's that? No, but I don't put, do you put Sade's undies away? Yeah. Oh, we put our own washing away. You fold it and you just leave it for them to put away.

Oh, no, no, no. So that's like a safe place. Undie drawer. I run a very good washing regime. Do you? I'm actually very good at laundry. I'm not great at folding t-shirts. Yeah. But I wash everything separately. I'm actually very good at laundry. I'm not great at folding t-shirts. Yeah. But I wash everything

separately. I have a good like That's good. Socks and undies go together. Hot wash always. And towels separate please. Always me.

Always. Oh sacrilege to put a towel in with anything. Don't be a monster. Alright so do you have a hiding place for snacks

and lollies and chocolate and biscuits? You're done done really lifted up everything there oh now I'm hungry give us a call if you hide them

you can text 9696 FEM we're talking about where you hide your snacks from your partner or your kids just who you have to

hide your snacks from basically so they don't get fiended as Australian mums have been sharing their go-to hidey spots for snacks around the house. Some text messages in on it. Someone said, my 12-year-old grandson lives with me.

I hide all sorts of sweet goodies in the dishwasher. Oh, you have to remember. But they say it doesn't get used, and he never even bothers to look in there. Oh, brilliant. So it's the perfect place to hide all the goodies. So that's a good, that's a really good idea.

Hiding it somewhere where somebody else doesn't use. I just forget. But then it'd be a surprise if you ever open it. I always bump it. I always bump the dishwasher and it starts off. I'd have soggy chips in no time. Somebody else said that they

have it hidden in a kick drawer. Have you ever seen a kick drawer in a cupboard? What's a kick? So in a kitchen you've got your ordinary cupboards

and then the bit where the cupboard ends between that and the floor is a kick drawer and you kick it and it pops out and it pops out and then you

store stuff you don't often use. So you don't have to bend down and open it? Yeah, no, you just kick it. And then it comes out and you can open it with your foot and grab whatever was in there. We're humans are great, hey?

We've got everything now to stop us bending over. They said that when they got the kitchen installed, they asked for kick drawers and no one else in the family even knows that they're there. Oh. You can have a plethora of hidden objects down there. Yeah. Guns, money, drugs, and important snacks.

Until one of the family members accidentally kicks it open and then they're like, biscuits. We'll take some calls. Kerry, what are you hiding and where? So we have two places because you've got to alternate them, but one's under the new tea towels. That's where the chocolate is because no one replaces tea towels. And the other one's in the linen cupboard in the fresh box of toilet paper

because nobody fills up the toilet roll. So you're just addressing jobs and chores that no one does and that's where the treats go. Oh, it's so good. But you've got to double check because we cleaned the linen cupboard out the other day and found a half block of chocolate.

Surprise! Yum! It was so nice. but you've got to double check. We cleaned the linen cupboard out the other day and found a half block of chocolate. Surprise. It was so funny. Would it be quite warm in the linen? Or is the linen cupboard... Yes, it's a hot water cupboard. No, we've got a separate one. Oh, okay. Luckily.

We did have a friend that she kind of took the idea and put her toffee pops in there and they fell behind. And it was the hot water cupboard. And yeah, that didn't quite end well oh yeah no yeah all right uh uh thanks you call kerry lisa what are you hiding from your partner i'm hiding stuff from my 14 year old son oh okay um so it's just me and him that live together and uh go to a massive veggie shop and then like put all the veggies at the front of the veggie bin and put all the chocolate at the back of the veggie bin and he

never looked at me he'd never looked because nobody nobody's coming home from school eating veggies yum a carrot yeah he's sitting right next to me in the car right now with a few phones in luckily. Oh, so he still doesn't even know! This kid is not paying attention. He's missing out! Brilliant. Thanks for your call, Lisa. Rebecca, what are you hiding from your partner? The coffee capsules. Oh,

okay. Well, no, because I do the shop and then I buy like two packs of 12. Yeah. And they're gone, so 24 capsules are gone in a week, and I might get two of them if I'm lucky. Oh, so they'll run in the capsules. Yeah, right. So does he get a box and you hide a box?

Well, yeah, or I just, yeah, I just take a few and hide them, and then, because I normally still buy my coffee from the cafe anyway. Right, so where's your hiding spot, though? The underdraw. Oh, okay. The underdraw's a very popular place. Not going in there. Lots of coffee from the cafe anyway. Right, so where's your hidey spot, though? The Undead Drill. Oh, okay. The Undead Drill, very popular place. Not going in there. Yeah, all right, thanks.

You call Rebecca? Someone said my partner hides snacks from me because I eat them too quick, much like Rebecca's situation, and they don't get their fair share. So I'll come home and there'll be two squares of chocolate on a plate and a piece of paper that says, the rest is hidden.

Oh, okay. So that's... Two's never enough, though. No. That's actually cruel. You need at least two rows. Yeah, I'm pretty sure that would stand up in a court of law as reason for divorce.

Yeah. Other people are saying veggie bins as well. In fact, just hide these things where the lazy people in your house never look. Yeah. Yeah. Like if they're never doing washing, hide it near the washing. Yeah.

Yeah. In the washroom. Yeah. Hide it in the cupboard behind the laundry powder. They'll never see it. They'll never see it. Yeah, so there you go. Some hiding spots.

FVM, the podcast. Great news for people who aren't sitting on the internet with our high-speed connection at 9 o'clock in the morning when high-demand concert tickets go on sale and end up having to buy off scalpers later on for exorbitant prices. Via GoGo. Yeah, the government's going to ban ticket scalping in an announcement yesterday. This is good. This needed to happen like 10 years ago.

So you said in Queensland, Australia, there's a state rule, right? Yeah, because I had some tickets there and plans changed. I just got rid of them online and I had no idea. If it's a certain event, a sporting or a big event, so one that they anticipate will be like a sellout or whatever, you're not allowed to sell it for any more than 10% of its value. 10% more. 10% or 5% more.

And I thought that was even still a bit cheeky because that's still going to encourage people to buy lots. If something's $100, they can sell it for $110. Yeah. Like if you buy, you know, 10 of them, you're still going to make 10% off those. I mean, it's a lot of effort. A lot of effort.

Yeah, and if there were trade me fees for selling, it probably wouldn't be worth it. But I thought, what a great, you know, what a great rule. So measures are planned to include a price cap on resale tickets, like what you said happens in Queensland, enforcing rules around information that needs to be disclosed to better inform consumers. So I'm guessing that's Viet Go.

That's pointed at them. That's pointed at you, Viet Go. It feels like without saying your name, they're talking about you. And banning ticket-buying bots that people can set up to. Oh, that's good. Yeah. How do they enter that squiggly line thing? The caption.

Have you ever done that one? It's like, keep pressing until no bicycles are in the picture. Oh, yeah. Or select every square that's got a road sign on it. I don't understand the one that's like, I am not a robot. Tick here. It's like, a robot can probably tick that box, can't it? Well, especially those ones that they're making at Boston Dynamics that do the flips.

Well, yeah, I saw one putting a wall up. Oh, yeah, jibbing a wall. Jibbing a wall. Oh, God. I was just like, what is happening here? Yeah, but it couldn't plaster the wall, so it'll still be a bit breezy. Plasterers were like, gym stop we're like, they're getting me. They're getting close.

They're getting close to me. So they're going to stop them doing that. So it's good. It means that. Because how is it that like that was a constant sellout and then straight away it's on ticket resale sites and like heaps of them? Well, I mean. It must be those bots, right?

Yeah. In America, it's pretty bad. Like a lot of the big ticketing companies own the resale sites as well. Yeah. A lot of them. And then so they just end up on there and so they don't care either way. But then how are they using bots to buy tickets from their own ticket site to then resell on their resale sites?

That doesn't seem legal. I don't know. It's just not fair. I don't know how that works. I just want to buy tickets. You just want to go to Elton John, don't you, Megan? Yeah. Yeah.

Did you end up getting Elton John tickets? No. Oh, Megan. Everyone else here did. Yeah, we did. Yeah, okay. It's a sore point. Grandma was having trouble logging into her account, though, wasn't she?

Don't say no. I couldn't. Remember I was refreshing that page and it was giving me like. There was an issue. Yeah. Yeah, see? It's not fair. It's probably the ticket box.

Blame the bots. Yeah. I don't know if this is like shaming millennials or if it's a negative millennial story or if it's like positive. It just depends on how you look at it. Okay. But instead of millennials,

we've been called the Generation Bore. So it's we are at the centre of a home body economy. You can't win. No, you can't. No. I can't win you. If we were going out and being socialising heaps. Generation wasteful.

Yeah. So Generation Bore is a generation that has downsized its social life oh handy I'm all on board for this

but it's because we have Netflix and we have Uber Eats and we have like everything's facilitating stay at home culture

yeah video games yeah I wouldn't say that we spend less on like food oh money's still being spent money like you think about from the comfort of your own home Culture. Yeah, video games. Yeah. I wouldn't say that we spend less on, like, food. Oh, money's still being spent. Money, like you think about when you're...

But from the comfort of your own home. You know, when you go home and you're like, your parents wish you'd go out for breakfast, they're like, oh, we could just make that. Yeah. We could just make eggs and that at home. Well, it has said that millennials spend 70% more time at home than the general population.

That's good. Yeah, but I keep getting addicted to the next Netflix show. This is why. Yeah. And like, the couch is so much comfier than like the club.

Or bed. And bed, yeah. Yeah. And when you do go out, you're just like thinking about bed. You're like, oh, this is fun, but I could be in my jammies.

Bed is good. Yeah. And also like, it's easy to socialise and talk to people, like, on Facebook and stuff. Yeah. I can be so much nicer on Facebook. On my couch. Me too.

Yeah. And just end a conversation with a thumbs up emoji. Yeah. It's done. I'm done talking to you. Going out means you have to do that in real life. It's horrible. Yeah.

Well, in Britain, pubs are closing at a rate of 18 per week. And in New Zealand, pub and bar owners are saying there are much fewer people coming through the door. Well, stop it being so noisy. Stop it being so loud.

And expensive. Yeah, the price of alcohol. That was my biggest thing is the price. Yeah. You can see why people preload. Yeah. How much?

No. It's so loud. And again, I can have a can see why people preload. Yeah. How much? No, it's so loud. And again, I can have a drink of my jammies. Yeah. With no judgment. You know, there was always that ad, it was like, invest in a good bed. We spend 30% of our lives asleep or in bed. It's like, knock that up a couple. Yeah.

Yeah, it's going to be much higher than that. A bit more bedtime. Yeah. Yeah, it's going to be much higher than that. There's a bit more bedtime. Yeah. And dining out, so that has grown 6% in 2018, but that's because it's the takeaways. Yeah. So we're still, that can't be classed as dining out though, can it? You're going out, getting it, and then you're dining at home. If you run from your car to the place in your pyjamas and Ugg boots, then...

Technically, you've gone out. Yeah. And if you're running, it's okay to wear your jammies, because you're real quick. Yeah, you're just moving real fast. Yeah. Because that's what I was reading the other day. It was like the new trend of kitchens, and it was like...

Small? People are going smaller and having less space and need for kitchens because we are dining out and Uber Eatsing so much. Like, how bad is that? No, I still need a big kitchen because I've bought all these pots and pans and waffle makers and all this unnecessary nonsense that I hardly use. Are you chucking at Marie Kondo? Is it bringing you joy?

Marie Kondo can bugger off. Every time I open a full cupboard, I get a sense of joy. Because you're a hoarder. I'm like, oh, that thing makes waffles in the shape of the Millennium Falcon. Great joy. See you later, Marie Kondo. Do you have a Millennium Falcon waffle maker? How many times have you used it?

Three times. And how long? It's more than I would have thought, to be honest. Like a year, maybe. You're going to have waffles too often. And we've got other waffle makers too. So you've got to spread around the love. A little animal waffle maker. got other waffle makers too. So you've got to spread around the love.

Oh my God. A little animal waffle maker. Got a waffle bowl maker. You pour it in, then you shut the lid and it makes a bowl and then you can eat out of the bowl. Could you put ice cream in it? And then eat the bowl that it's in. Yeah. Okay, see, now I need one of those.

So they're probably going to use it twice. F.A.M. Last night I was out on the deck and I was doing this. Because I was in charge of feeding the cats. Okay. And we've got a new dog so you can't leave the food on the ground because the dog will wolf it. That dog eats everything.

Oh my lord. Anything. Ralphie, the fat guts. He will just eat anything. He's got such a fat bum. Don't. Wiggles. I shouldn't fat shame my dog. Don't shame your dog. It's a cute bum. Might grow into it.

He wiggles it. So you have to put the cat food up. So I got the cat food up on this little bench bit outside and I was like That's how I do it. Yep. Which cat are you calling?

Just any of them. Either of them. Neither of them had been there. And then I see Bear, our younger cat. He's orange. Yep. Ginger.

Ginger. Orange. Orange. He pops out from under the hedge. Okay. And I think he's carrying something. Oh. And I'm from under the hedge. Okay. And I think he's carrying something. And I'm like, what have you got, mate? Because he's a little way away and I'm doing a squint.

And I realise in his mouth is a very large rat. And I'm talking a very large rat. Like he's struggling to carry it. It's so big. And I can't stand rats. Oh, rats. I don't mind mice. When people have a rat as a pet, I'm just like... No, but they're kind of cute

because they're sweet, you know? Tails look like snakes and they've got weird hands and... And the plague, Megan! I still haven't forgiven them for the plague. The pet rats are different. They're like, you know, white and black patches or white. It's a no from me.

When you go to big cities overseas, oh, and you see a rat like a big fat rat like New York or something that just scuttled across the street or in the subway, I'm always just like, ugh. Bangkok. Bangkok. Big rats. Guaranteed to see some waddies.

So this rat, I would put it on par with the size of Bangkok rats. It was massive. Like a rabbit size. So I said, ah, Bear's got a rat. So everyone just comes to run for a look. And Shardu's like, that's not a rat. It's a rabbit. He's got a rabbit.

Go and help it. It's a baby rabbit. I'm like, it's not. It's too long. Like if a baby rabbit was that wide, it would be shorter. This was a long rat. So I walked over there and I'm like, what you got, cat? And he's like, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow.

You know, cats try to tell you something when they've got something. Well, it's a present for you. It is, yeah. Meow, meow, meow, look at me. I'm great. Meow, meow, meow, meow, meow. That's when I noticed the rat's still very much alive. And it turns, so he puts the rat down and meow, meow, meow, meow.

And then I see the rat turn and look at the cat. Like you imagine you've been caught and your captain just put you down for a minute and you turn to look if he's still looking. Oh, yeah. So you can sneak away. So the rat's like, is he still behind me? Oh, he is. I'm just going to run real quick.

And the rat went run, run, run, run up the lemon tree. And I'm like, oh, yeah. Because now you can't eat lemons. Well, the lemon tree needs to be set on fire and burnt to the ground. So we start like chucking stones at the rat. Throwing things at the rat, little sticks, anything we can get our hands on. Like, get out. And it's like, wee, wee.

And I'm like, ah. Everything's screaming. The dogs are going, bananas. The cat's like, shudder. It's like, ah, stop it the cat's like Shardai's like ah stop it I'm like ah die your poor neighbours they probably didn't know what the hell was going on so then I

it fell out of the tree and I'm like now's my chance and I pounced to kind of like try to stand on it because I had boots on I was like I'll stand on it, I'll end it's life quickly but as I pounced to kind of like try to stand on it because I had boots on. I was like, I'll stand on it. I'll end its life quickly. But as I pounced to stand on it, it was like, this rat will live to see another day. And it scarpered.

And it was massive. So then we went inside and shut all the doors and the windows and locked it. It's out there. Because you've got a cat door, eh? That's my problem. Now you live in rural. Rural. A rural living. Yeah. I wouldn've got a cat door That's my problem Now you live in rural Rural A rural living

Yeah I wouldn't have a cat door I would never ever Allow the cats inside Also what's coming Through the cat door Like what if Well that's what

If he'd got it All the way up to the house It would've still been alive And he would've dropped it inside And been like Oh there's food here I'll just go and eat some of that Oh where did that rat go

Oh my god The thing is I oh, there's food here. I'll just go and eat some of that. Oh, where did that rat go? Yeah. Oh my God. The thing is, I know that there's rats at this property because when we moved in, there's those little bait stations everywhere.

Yeah. But as previously mentioned, we've got a dog, so I don't want to poison the rats and then they die on the lawn and then the dog eats it. Yeah. And then the dog gets sick.

Yeah. And I found rat poo in the ceiling. There's like all the signs and I've been waiting because everybody said when it starts getting cold, they start coming inside. So now it was like last night, I was like, the time has come. I feel like I'm going to have to defend Winterfell from the...

Winter is coming. Winter is coming, and the rats are coming too. And the rats are the white walkers. I have permission. Permission has been granted to buy one of those A24 gas-powered rat traps. One of those ones that the Department of Conservation like to use, but they don't have enough money for them. They've got possum ones as well.

They're more humane, aren't they? Yeah, they're quick. They're luring them up. They're like chocolatey tasting. You put the chocolate around. You do these little tags, right? Yeah. And wherever they get nibbled on, that's where you put the trap.

You put them all around your property. The most nibbled on ones where you put the trap. Oh, God. Where do you put them around your property and they all get nibbled on? And then you squirt a bit of Nutella-y, chocolate-y stuff around there. Okay. And they're like, yum. And then that's when you put the lure in the trap and they go up and they go.

Just a belt through the back of the head. R.I.P. Giant rat. I've been wanting through the back of the head. RIP giant rat. I've been wanting you to buy these for ages. That's real sad. No, no, because there's an app and it tells you when you get one. You get a notification. Oh, gotcha.

Gotcha. Yeah, but you've still got to clean that out of a trap. No, it just bolts it through the back of the head and there's a video and it just will do rat after rat after rat. I know, but you can't just leave them in there. No, no. It's just they just fall onto the ground and you just pick them up by the tail and chuck them in the bin.

Yeah. And then your dog or your cat won't eat them. Yeah. And get sick. That's the idea. Because there's no poison involved. Oh, that's so grim. I'm just stoked because permission has been granted.

Oh, after. Rat trap. Right. I was like, one day I could live on a farm, like in a little lifestyle block. No. But it's weird because growing up, we always had cats. We just never had rats. We had rats at like the sheds and stuff when I was a kid.

Yeah. Like there was like rats ate the calf meal and stuff. But around our house, we never had rats growing up. Because you had cats. Because we had cats to take care of them. Yuck. But now, the time has come. Vaughan Smith Hunter.

So when you say you're a hunter, you're basically just buying a trap. I'm like Leonardo DiCaprio in that movie, The Revenant. Oh, The Revenant, right. Where he goes up north and he's a fur trapper. I'm trapping. I'm going to skin these rats. I'm going to make some boots. No offense, but I'd say you're as far away from Leonardo DiCaprio

as possible. You're basically putting these electronic traps outside and then running inside, shutting all the doors and windows and hiding. And when you said you went over to stomp on the rat, you would have been like... It was one of those real reluctant It was one of those real like...

More like tap dancing in boots. To hold it down and end its life. Because we've got beautiful birds as well. There's tuis and fantails and stuff and they'll eat the eggs so they've got to go. Yeah. Are you just kind of reassuring people

that you're not an out to kill everything person? Not everything. Just pests. F.E.M. A UFC fighter won his fight. He got through fairly un-mamed because, you know, sometimes you see the end of a UFC fight and everybody's just like knocked all their teeth out.

Oh, yeah, they go hard out, eh? Their eyes are shut, swollen shut. Yeah. Bleeding from every hole on their face. Yeah. But this guy had no bleeding on the face. Ended it. Johnny Walker's his name.

Ended the fight fairly, you know. Unscathed. Unscathed and uninjured. And then he did a celebratory worm. Is that like a caterpillar? Yeah, you roll on the ground and dislocated his shoulder and needed immediate medical attention. In front of everyone.

Oh, no. Oh, that's embarrassing. Yeah, he later admitted he was more of a threat to himself than his last three opponents. So good that he turned into some trash talking of the people he's recently beaten. Yeah. But it was a classic showing off and hurting yourself.

Yeah. And as a regular show off. Yeah. When I was younger days. You still show off at work all the time. I still show off, but not as physically as I used to. There was one time I was on a pogo stick at somebody's flat, and every time I went up on the pogo stick,

someone would chuck a plate under the pogo stick, and I would land on the plate, and the plate would smash. What? Hamilton. Yeah, yeah, just party antics. Okay. Whose plates were these? Pogo, Pogo, Pogo.

I just have friends. They didn't care about their plates being smashed. Oh, I think so. But they were just like into it at the time. I think I got them new plates. But they were like from Save Mart. Like some brand's house had been cleaned out and I went and got a whole set of plates.

Oh, his brand had died. Well, she was off to the retirement home. They were hefty brown plates though. The plates I replaced them for a year, of plates. Oh, because Granite died? Well, she was off to the retirement home, and she was gay. They were hefty brown plates, though. The plates I replaced them for a year, they could probably take a pogo, whereas these initial ones were very cheap plates. Okay. And it was like a Greek,

I think we called it Greek pogo. You know Greek weddings how they smash plates? Smash the plate. And it was like jumping, and plate under, plate under, plate under. I think I was on my fifth plate when the smashed crockery was sort of the whole area had been

covered and I came down on the pogo and I hit a bit of crockery and the pogo went from under me and I fell backwards and cracked my head on the corner of a deck. Wow, okay. Out. Did you get knocked out? Yeah, I was out. They just put me on the couch and I came to half an

hour later with a very sore head. It would have been a great YouTube video. It would have been, but times before YouTube. There might be like super grainy footage of it somewhere. On someone's Nokia. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The first Nokias that could record videos. But on the back of that and this UFC fighter showing off

and hurting himself, it's a bit of a classic situation of nations of daredevil show-offs, how you hurt yourself showing off to somebody. Maybe you were trying to impress somebody that you were interested in. It's more of a guy thing. Way more of a guy thing. Wow, I'd say so, yeah. But I'd say there'd be females that have done it as well. Sure.

Trying to keep up with the lads. Yeah. Like, I'm just like one of the lads. Boom. That's just the nondescript sound of someone hitting the deck really hard. Fletch, you're not a show off. You're a bit, you're too. I'm safe.

I'm safe. No, you just make everybody else do the dumb stuff. You'd do the chant for one to do it. Absolutely I would. Or we'd do the chant. You just encourage. Absolutely I would. Yeah.

If I was at that pogo, the Greek pogo. Yeah. You'd have been all for the Greek pogo. See, the Greek pogo sounds like that's an event I'd dress up for and go to for the, you know, because they have the polo and, you know, stuff. And I don't, like, I'm not interested in that. But the Greek pogo, that's something I'd go to. What's the Greek song that's always playing when they're smashing things?

Da-da, da-da-da-da-da, da-da-da-da-da, da-da-da-da-da-da. Hey! No, that's the Russian. smashing things. Hey! No, that's the Russian. That's the Russian dancing. That could work though. That could work. But I think that's what everybody was doing while I was pogoing.

Opa! Is that it? I don't know. I don't know. There's a Jewish glass smashing thing. We could just do like Dave Dobbin and the Herbs

at da da da da da da da da da da da.da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da- you know you went through this yeah but you went through something quite physical and that didn't even hurt you but yet you show off and you do the worm and that dislocates your shoulder yeah and then you're done

0800 dance at M9696 when did you hurt yourself showing off we want to know when you hurt yourself showing off when you

because this UFC fighter went through a whole UFC fight won didn't hurt himself did the worm worm, the celebratory dance, and dislocated his shoulder. So some text messages in from people who have hurt themselves showing off. Somebody said, I was flirting with a co-worker and there was some water on the ground,

and I went to kick it towards her in a flirtatious manner. Only I had a bit too much weight on the foot that I was kicking and ended up slipping on the water and falling straight onto my back in aforementioned water. But did it work? She might have felt sorry for you. Yeah, did it work? I mean, like, oh, my God, are you okay?

It's like a legendary, like, if you kick and you kick yourself so hard you end up on your back. That's like Charlie Chaplin-level physical comedy. Do we have a follow-up? Could we have a follow-up text there? No word if it worked or not. Yeah, if you could just let us know if that worked or not, that'd be great.

Megan, when did you hurt yourself showing off? I was with a guy, and he just jumped to touch a street sign and was like, oh, I bet you can't do it. So I was like, oh, yeah, okay, watch me. And I did it, and I ended up rolling my ankle in a hole and tipping the bone, rupturing the ligament. I was in a moon boot for a summer, and then needed two surgeries.

Oh my God! But you touched it? Yeah, I touched it. Yeah, right, I did. Was he impressed? I'm not too sure. I can't remember, because I was in a lot of pain. Yeah, but he's not hanging around, eh?

Did you go on any more dates? No that nothing happened yeah he's hung around until at least the moon book came off he owed you that much i know i know all right uh thanks for your call uh jason when did you hurt yourself showing off um so i was a young fella about five years old used to live next door to a reserve that they dug a big manhole out and um there was a young fella, about five years old. Used to live next door to a reserve that dug a big manhole out. And there was a girl who used to live down the street from me, quite fancy. She's a lot older than me, but anyway. Yeah.

So I had my little bike and I thought, oh, you know what? I'll chuck this in the hole. She'll be impressed with that. So I yelled out to her and said, watch this. And I chucked my little bike in the hole, but it was attached to my jumper and I went in with it. And there was a steel bar at the bottom of the hole and i cracked my head open on the steel bar oh my gosh she just says this

how old would she have been oh i don't know about 10 i was five so she says hey watch this pretty much oh my, so cute. But stupid. And did they have to rescue you out of the hole? Oh, no. I think I dragged myself out, and she'd yelled out for my auntie, and she'd come running over with a flannel and went to dab it on my head, and, yeah, just blood was everywhere.

A flannel. A bloody jumper. That bloody woolen jumper hooked on the bike, you know? Yeah. Bloody woolen jumper. Otherwise, you could have still been with her to this day. A bloody jumper. That bloody woolen jumper hooked on the bike, you know? Yeah. Otherwise, you could have still been with her to this day. Yeah. Yeah. All right.

How did you two meet? Well, he was five, I was ten, and he chucked his bike in a hole. Victoria, how did you hit yourself showing off? So I was trying to show, like, it was my boyfriend at the time, and I tried to show him that I could do a front flip on a trampoline. Well, I ended up going too far forward, and I didn't land on my feet,

and I ended up landing on my right arm and putting all my weight onto it, and I broke both bones clean snap. Oh! How old were you? Clean snap! I was 17 at the time. So had it been a while since you'd done a forward trampoline flip? Yeah.

Yeah. About three years. Yeah, so you went straight in. Forward flips are the harder flips, eh? Because it's hard to stop. But when you're going back, I mean, it's not easier. But I always hear that forward flips are harder. Yeah.

Did he nurse you through it? No, he kind of went white and was like, and then he ran off to go get my mum because it was in my backyard. And mum was like, all right, that's it.

We're taking you to the hospital and went off and he was like, all right, I'll see you later. And I'm like, are you not going to come with? And he goes, I've got to get home.

I'm like, oh, okay. I've got to go home. Mum's got spag bol on for dinner. That's my fave. Don't want to get home. Okay. I've got to go home. Mum's got spag bol on for dinner. That's my fave. Don't want to miss that. She usually chucks in a generous bit of garlic bread. And you never got to see... Of course, in the water down Roro as well.

Yeah, of course. And did you ever see him again? Yeah, I caught up with him like a week later. And he was like, I want to be the first person to sign your cast. I'm like, all right. Hold out. And then, yeah, we lasted probably another six months

and that was it. Oh, that's not too bad. That's not bad. Okay. All right, Victoria, thanks you. Time with a disability. Some other text messages in. I was trying to impress a girl

with one of those punching machines. Completely missed the punch bag, hit the frame, broke my hand. That'll happen. That's why I always hold back on those machines. What do you mean, punching machine? You know, you pull the bag down and then you punch it and it tells you how hard you punched it.

I'm always just like... Because I don't want to hurt myself if I mess up the machine. You just give it a slap. Safety first. Yeah, I call it a slap machine. There should be one of those machines for slapping. How cool would that be? You pull down a mannequin's face and then it mouths off at you

and you're like, yeah, right, bitch. What? I'll wind up and give it the old slapperoo. Some other text messages in. I had a friend who was getting

a runaway try in a touch tournament. No one was even near her. She decided to show pony it and dive. She broke her collarbone when she hit the ground. I won Edward's

scrumpy hands in London, except it was Edward wine hands because they don't have scrumpy in London. So basically you tape bottles to your hands and you've just got to drink it. You're not allowed to take them off until you've finished drinking it. Climbed on the table to sing I Am The Champion. Stepped backwards

where the table had ended. Knocked myself out cold, woke up in A&E. Were they still strapped to your hands? I hope they still had the bottles strapped to their hands. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. They were in the ambulance on the way there. They're like, cut off the jeans and the bottles off the hands. Jeez Louise.

It was New Year's Eve. We were seeing In The Millennium, playing a game of Twister. And it was green, right leg green. And I said, I'm going to be able to do this. And I could not. I actually did the cartilage in my knee. And my knee's never been the same again. Good Lord.

Can you sue Twister for that? I think if you could, Twister would have been stopped being made many decades ago. It would have been broke a while ago. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Today's fact of the day is about the Chicken of Tomorrow contest. Okay. In 1948, there was a Chicken of Tomorrow competition. And this is where, because I didn't know this,

but in World War II, when there were rations, like meat rations. Not the chippies. No, not the rations. Rations. Rations. Rations. The chicken was the only meat that wasn't rationed

It was red meat that was rationed most Red meat and pork It was rationed Chicken wasn't rationed Because prior to that It wasn't like a staple of diets Like it is now As much as now

Yeah, if you had chickens It was more for the eggs Than it was for the actual chickens That's weird Because that would be my number one mate, I reckon. Yeah, me too. A hundred percent. He's good in stir fries, roasts, wings.

You're just going to list food again. It's great. It's very versatile. It's a very versatile chicken. Fried chicken. Fried chicken. So the chicken before World War II was a wildly different looking animal. Okay.

Like if you see a chicken, if you see like a, you can't say wild chicken, but you know, oh, you know in Southeast Asian countries? Yes. You see chickens and they look really athletic. Yeah. Yeah.

That's what chickens are supposed to look like. That's far more what a chicken looked like. In fact, it was probably even more skinnier and more athletic originally. You only need to go to the supermarket and put the free range chicken breast next to the other chicken breast. Non free range chicken breast. To see that those

other ones are pumped up. Yeah. So, in 1948, after World War II, there was a competition and this is sort of the origin of the chicken as we know it called the Chicken of Tomorrow competition. It was where one of the biggest supermarkets at the time said,

show us your best chicken. Okay. So there were people breeding chickens in the United States at the time, and they said, you know, you are going to have, this time next year, we want to see your best chicken. So farmers started taking their biggest chickens and breeding them with the biggest roosters they could find and getting a plump of chicken. Now over a year

they had enough time to do this for a few generations and they made technically it's genetic modification because it's selective breeding. They made a bigger chicken and the bigger chicken came the bigger egg and so the idea

was that you then submitted your chicken. Yeah. And most of them were slaughtered. And they judged the chicken on how much meat there was. Right. How long it had been alive, like how long it had taken to grow that big. Yeah. What they'd been feeding it.

And then they'd say to the winners, okay, you give us some more chickens from that generation. Right. Or subsequent breeding generations, you're the winner. And then they grew bigger chickens. So then they bred those big chickens with the other massive big chickens and grew bigger chickens. So you can see that chickens just got bigger and bigger and bigger

because they were selective breeding the ones that were big at the time. And then take away the fact that they didn't need to be outside exercising and they grew. They've got a chicken obesity crisis. that were big at the time. And then take away the fact that they didn't need to be outside exercising. They've got a chicken obesity crisis. They weren't really fat. They just had a lot more meat on them. And then take out the fact that they don't need to go outside to exercise where they'd burn off the calories and they'd put a whole lot more. And then they'd pump them full of whatever crap now.

Exactly, to keep them growing. And so they would keep growing. Humans. So this happened in the 40s, and they reckon now the majority of chickens bred for consumption are direct descendants of these initial chickens of tomorrow winners. In China, it's something like 50% of raised chickens for eating, not for air-glaying as much as just for breeding for eating,

come from this. And that's why chickens are so much larger than they were. Thanks to one man's issue of, hey, we're not getting enough meat off this chicken. Let's have a competition and see who can make the biggest chicken. That's kind of sad. Chicken's completely changed. Yeah, it is.

Because chickens don't look like chickens. We're like, let's breed them to be fatter because we want to eat more off their bones. Yeah, let's get them bigger and better. So I'm torn because that's horrible, but I love chicken wings and chicken, or as I previously mentioned, all kinds. Well, you imagine chicken wings would have been pretty small.

Well, even you notice that when you go to America now and you have chicken wings, and you see rotisserie, you know, hot chickens in the supermarket, they're like twice as big as our ones. You're like, how does that happen? Even like you have chicken wings in Southeast Asian countries and they're much smaller and you're like, what's going on here? Yeah.

Then you realise they're probably just actual chickens. Yeah. That they've slaughtered for you. So today's fact of the day is prior to the Chicken of the World competition in 1948, the chicken was a wildly different looking creature. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. There's a 12-year-old in Britain and she has been crowned Britain's new TV genius. That's a 12 year old In Britain And she has been crowned

Britain's new TV genius That's her 12 Is she on the chase? Oh my god Is she a new chaser? She printed it pretty well On the chase Okay

Child Genius is the show I saw this clip This might not have been This might have been The American version Of Child Genius Because Neil Patrick Harris Hosted it

Oh okay And one of the rounds Was spelling words backwards Okay And he just named these words Words that I would struggle To spell forwards Neil Patrick Harris hosted it. Oh, okay. And one of the rounds was spelling words backwards. Okay. And he just named these words, words that I would struggle to spell forwards, and these kids were just nailing spelling them backwards.

When I was at my gifted school, you know how I did like gate bag, gifted and talented education for boys and girls, we had to do long numbers and then relay them backwards. What do you mean? Like 174,406? Yeah. And then you'd have to say the digits backwards.

No, well, I can't do it now. What's the point of that? I can't even read. It's just like to nurture your brain. Yeah, I think it's just a bit of exercise for the old brain. I haven't done those exercises for a while. She gets stitched if she does them now. Yeah.

But she's 12 years old. She's actually, they've measured her IQ. They believe it to be higher than Albert Einstein and Stephen Hawking. 8'12". Yeah. She, on Saturday night,

went into a showdown with an 11-year-old called William. Nish is her name. Answering questions such as... Okay. I'm ready.

Try me. Go. Do you actually, before you do this, do you think we'll even be able to answer any of these? I don't know. I wouldn't imagine so. Okay. In 2011, the first synthetic trachea transplant was achieved

by using the patient's own what? What do you call those things? Cells. No, the stem cells. Yes. You got it. Damn it. I was going to say penis.

Is that not a penis? What's a trachea? Is that your throat? Yeah, because I was thinking you must need another tube. Yeah, I was thinking you must need a tube. You know what? I'm looking at a drawing of a trachea. You could probably skin the penis and use the...

Thank you. No, but it's not a tube. It's not hollow. I'm giving me half a point for that. The penis. It's just got a little... No, that's what I'm saying. Skin it. Okay. I'm not saying half a point for that. The penis. No, that's what I'm saying. Skin it.

Okay. I'm not saying but it's a possibility. That's not right Fletch. I'm giving myself half a point. It's not right. The next question is what is 411 plus 854 plus 156 plus 625? No, you can't use

a calculator. You won't even be able to remember those numbers. I can't even keep up, yeah. 2046. Upright plants such as Cooksonia first emerged in what geological period? Oh, I don't know. It's a geological period.

One of the ice ages. Silurian. I don't know. I've never heard of it either. Oh my God. She's 12. Why isn't she like... What is 24 times 9 minus 16 times 9 divided by 8?

I don't know. 84. Enough. 225. What name is given to the period of extremely rapid expansion of the universe immediately after the Big Bang? Big Bang Theory. The Explosion. Cosmic Inflation. after the Big Bang? Big Bang Theory. The explosion. Cosmic inflation.

I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. What is the name of a long cigar-shaped mound of till that can be smoothed in the direction of a glacier's flow that has been smoothed in the direction of a glacier's flow? No. So like when a glacier is going down

and it kind of pushes it to the side. No idea. No idea. Drumlin. Never heard of it. How does a 12-year-old know this? I don't know. What books is she reading?

It's madness. Beginning with C, what process do alkanes undergo to make alkenes? What's an alkane? I don't know. What is it? Cracking. Cracking. No.

Yeah. I started strong. So they kind of were like, is this kid getting outside? Did they check her for an earpiece? Yeah. And parents in the van outside? No, no. Well, they checked on the parents.

Dad's an IT security person and her mum's an accountant. But people are like, how pushy are the parents? But apparently they're not. She's got this weird thing called self-motivation. I don't know, man. Sounds made up to me. Lime scooters. Lime scooters.

The lime scooter craze. And he was just going too fast. So I jumped out the way. Another day, The lime scooter craze. And he was just going too fast, so I jumped out the way. Another day, another lime scooter story. It's right, Auckland still without its lime scooters and Wellington City actually looking like it might take a little bit longer. Right. Than they thought people were hoping to get that in

before the end of summer in Wellington. Sadly disappointed. Looks like it'll be autumnal. Autumnal limes. Just wear a jacket on your autumnal limes. Yeah, but also watch how slippery the footpath can be. Still off the streets in Auckland and Lime Juices. These are the people who collect lime scooters at the end of the day

and charge them at their house. Yeah. And then drop them off at certain drop points in groups of no more than four. I tell you what, I see them doing this on my way to work when they were out there because it's still a waiting couple of days, eh? Yeah. To get back on the streets of Auckland. Yeah.

They're up when I come to work at 5am. Yeah. I was like, no, people were just doing this as a side job. Like, you don't earn that much money, do you? But there's quite a few juicers who have quit their full-time jobs to do this full-time. Because juicing was better and easier income for them. Yeah. Like less hours worked.

Even after you have to pay your power bill because it wouldn't take much to charge, would they? Not a lot. Do they tax on juicing? Yeah.

What's that income like? Lime would pay you money so you'd be receiving money you'd have to pay to. Don't try to dodge that one. Yeah. Magoos, you'll end up in prison.

A lovely white collar prison. A nice prison? Save it till you're old and you've got no money for a retirement home, then commit some light fraud and go to a lovely white-collar prison. Oh, my God. So well-offed after. It would be a great job to do in retirement, lime juicing. Oh, yeah.

Old people love trailers. They do. But I see people picking them up in the massive vans or trailers. Yeah. Let's go around. So you get an average of $7 per scooter charged and some of them are doing up to 35 scooters a day. That is $245.

I worked it out. A day? A day. Wow. So if you go all out, you could be earning like a thousand or so a week. Easy. Yeah.

Yeah. Wow. Easy peasy. Bit of fuel though, because you'd have to, once you do your fuel cost. Well, that's why you'd want a trailer. You'd want to get all, you'd want to get as many.

As you could, yeah. As many as you could in one go and juice it up. It's a work expense. But anyway, 25 of the juicers gathered at a bar to commiserate their loss of income recently. Oh, okay. I don't know who was paying. Everybody'd be a little reluctant to put their hand up to get around. But that would be hard for the people who that's their full-time job.

Yeah, exactly. That's probably why only 25 of them turned up. The other ones couldn't afford to go. Or just couldn't get there because there were no limes. Yeah. Ironically, I went for a drink pretty much over the road from where all the limes are being held prisoner at the moment too. It's kind of any day now they should be back on the streets.

So they've got all the information they need so it's just a matter of time. Right, and then last week Christchurch extended theirs as well. Great city for a bladder line. Christchurch. Best place for a line.