ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Megan Podcast - March 20 2019

Episode Date: March 19, 2019

The craziest coffee story has come out of Hastings, August has a new career aspiration and what do you always get asked "off the clock"?See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

ZM. Head music lives here. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. Thanks, Anya. Good morning. Welcome to the show, Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. Good morning. Morning. Good morning. Toy Story 4 trailer out today. I was waiting. Have you seen that trailer? I'm just watching it now. It'll be another one that gets you in the Pixar's. Yeah. Ooh, it's you in the pixels. Yeah. Oh, it's a little tickle one. Yeah.

When does that come out? June. Okay. I drew it out. I knew it was one of the J months. I just wasn't sure which one. June. June. Is Toy Story one of the animated movies

you've seen, Fletch? No. Have you ever seen any of the Toy Stories? No. One, two, or? No. Three. I mean, I know, I know about

it. I hope they never stop making them. To infinity? Yeah, see, I know all that. No, yeah, finish the sentence. To infinity. And beyond or something. See, I know that. Right. Lord. But I've got no time for, no. I've just never seen it. You can't say you've got no time for it if you haven't seen it. I mean, it looks cool, but

I've just never seen any. If you're canoodling with people who were born after the first one was released, I think it's your fair duty to have seen the film. What is this? It's not my turn in the roasting dish today. It's roasting time. All right, you lot, listen up. It's story time.

Three news headlines for story time. Vaughan and Megan just have to pick one. The others are deleted forever. Forever ever. And no gurgling. Those are the rules. Headline one. Internet girlfriend asked for money.

Headline two, fishy luggage. And headline three, passenger's anger. Ooh, fishy suitcase. Someone was transporting some fish, were they? And there was a juicy leak. Not so much a juicy leak, but yes, right in the first part. Yes. Right, okay.

I'll give you that. You give me that one. And then what was the first one again? Internet girlfriend asks for money. Oh, that's self-explanatory. That's someone's been... Scammed. Always watch your old people.

Well, yesterday mum messaged me. Remember? That's right, she did too. I told you, let me read you everybody. Christine has done us all very proud. Because I was thinking it's so good that you said, because you've always said to your mum and the old people in your life, always check with me if you think this is an internet scam.

So I get a text from dad's phone, even though mum's got her own. I don't know why. Hey, mum here. His is probably closer. Yeah. And hers is off, probably. Hey, mum here. I was just looking up accommodation in Thailand,

because that's where they're going to... I didn't think they were going to... Okay, so they're going to Thailand. When I got a phone call to say our IP address had been compromised, I hung up the phone. Now, was this real or a hoax call? I said, good work, Christine. If in doubt, always hang up.

I don't know if your IP can be compromised, can it? And they wouldn't say it? They wouldn't have... Your phone number's not associated with an IP. No, I wouldn't think if your IP can be compromised, can it? And would they call you and say it? No, they wouldn't have. Your phone number's not associated with an IP. No, I wouldn't think so. No. So she said, cool, thanks. So she's avoided a situation there.

Yeah. But then where's she leaving her number? No, don't they just randomly dial? Do they just randomly dial? It's just a random number situation, right? Maybe you need to check where they're booking their accommodation. That's true. Yeah.

They might have entered some info there. No, because she wouldn't book it. She'd just find the one she likes and then get the travel agent to sort of that. That's what I do. Don't give her shit for that. You're like a 60-year-old woman. Yeah, well, I don't want to deal with the admin of that. Yeah, you travel agents.

Should I put it through the right people? Okay, so which one? Story three then. Three? Passenger anger? Yeah, okay.

Alright, we go to the UK now and a passenger on EasyJet, which is, they film that program at that airport, don't they, in the UK?

Yeah. What is that? Budget airline. What is that show called? Airport? Yeah, something airport-y based. Airport-y something. It's not so much customs.

It's more about the people that have bought the cheapest plane seats but have the highest sort of level of what they expect. Expectations and service, yeah. For their five-pound flight. I'll pay five pound for this flight. Where's my food? Well, a man, a 35-year-old man, he decided during the flight,

he was on a flight to Marrakesh. He decided he would pop to the bathroom. Okay. He was in the bathroom for some time. He's one of these people like you, Vaughn, that seems to spend an awful lot of time in the toilet. I don't know if it's because we work in radio and I'm just used to the fact that sometimes we only have three and a half minutes to get your business done.

Yeah, you get in, get out. You get in and you get out. And I'm like that at home as well. But Vaughn has zero sense of urgency with anything in life, even going to the toilet when it's only a two-minute song. What was that news story yesterday? People who are late live longer and have a less stressy life. Yeah, because you're stressing the rest of us.

Our survival technique is to just kill the rest of you. In fact, like this man, you need to be careful because you love a good long plane toilet break as well. I love it. He was apparently in there for... Well, it's the roomiest seat on the plane. Lots of leg room. He was apparently in there for 15 minutes.

Okay. Now, you've got to think, there's only two... Sometimes there can only be two toilets on a plane, maybe three, four. Yeah. Other people are waiting. Okay. That's when staff decided to knock on the toilet door and say, are you in there?

Is there anybody? Are you okay? Do you need help? Do you need help? And apparently, according to him, he did reply with yes. But that is when a minute later, he noticed the door latch change from red to green, and they opened the door,

and he was there with his trousers around his ankles. And he has said he has never been more humiliated in his life. So he was just doing number two? Well, apparently. Yep. Come on. If you're in there for more than five minutes, you're playing with yourself on a plane, aren't you?

And how did... It says apparently he responded, so he obviously didn't hear them. Well, you'd think you'd be like... But I mean, you can't on... I mean, I don't know on flights to Marrakesh, but on flights to America, you can't be even lining up for a toilet. There can't be more than, I think, a couple of people lining up.

What, do they ask you to sit down? Yeah. Are you serious? There can't be a line of 10 people for flights to America. It's like a rule. Oh, but the drinks trolley's taking ages, and then they finally take away your dirty dishes, and then there's always a big toilet. Yeah, I'm pretty sure.

I don't know if that's still a thing, but it definitely has been. No way. Yeah. Wow. So, I mean, yeah, if you're taking too long in the toilet, whether or not you're playing with yourself or you're just a long pooper. That's my worst nightmare is someone opening that door. If they can, they can do it.

They slide the little thing across. Yeah, they can. Because they always lock them at takeoff. Anybody can. Yeah. Anybody can. I always triple check that that's shut. Me too.

And I give it a good shake. And I make sure it's really shut. But also, having friends that have worked on planes, they've said that the longer a person's in the toilet, the more worried you are about what the outcome's going to be at the end. Because there could be diarrhea, it could be vomiting. Yeah. Chances are it's going to be a grim clean up.

Right, so they're noticing if you're in there for a long time. I think they would be. Especially if a line starts forming. Sometimes I'm just brushing my teeth and redoing my mascara. And then you get judgement that everyone thinks you've been doing number twos the whole time. Sometimes I'm just sitting there going, if I'm not

allowed to smoke on the plane, why is there an ashtray in here? This seems very counterproductive. F-E-M. Z-E-M. Yeah, I thought it was all fun, games, seeing the curvature of the Earth, zero gravity. No, the Earth's flat. It's flat, that's right.

Seeing the flatness of the Earth, seeing the dome from the NASA photo stage if you're a flat earther. But it's not all fun and games being an astronaut because now it has turned out, and this is massive news, and I do feel sorry for astronauts because not all of them are affected because the headlines lately about astronauts, if you literally go to Google and type astronauts and then click on the news tab,

is astronauts and the dangers of herpes. Okay. Herpes in space. So it turns out when you're an astronaut, you're exposed to microgravity and cosmic radiation, along with the force of takeoff and the fact that during space flight, there's a rise in stress hormones like cortisol and adrenaline.

Okay. All of these things lead to a suppressed immune system. Right. So if you've ever had the herpes virus... Because herpes is for life. Yeah, and cold sores are the same vibe. One's A, one's B. They can go around the place.

It's likely to show up. Over 53% of the astronauts on short-term space shuttle flights showed signs of herpes, if not full-blown physical signs. So did they catch it in space or they already had it? No, you already had it. Right. And I think this is another thing is a lot of people have the virus but never have the flare-ups because they don't have it bad enough

or their body hasn't been put through space. Hasn't been put through enough stress that all these other things that feed into it and suppress your immune system, because that's the thing, if you get cold sores, it's when you get sick. It's when you get run down that they pop up

and it's a bit of a physical sign of you need to take a bit better care of yourself, eat better, sleep more and everything if you do get them and you get a flare up. But they're saying just even though the astronauts just due to the high stress of the situation, they have flare-ups. 14 out of 23.

14 out of 23 on long missions showed signs of the virus and 47 out of 89 on the short-term ones. So they're saying this is interesting that it goes up so much. The percentage-wise, the longer the mission, missions to places like Mars sometime in the future. Oh, so everyone will have herpes by the time they get there. Everyone will have cold sores by the time they get there. So I hope they take some Zivirax.

Good, you'd want to make sure you had your flare-up under control by the time you had your photo when you landed. When you land on Mars. Or just put your space helmet on. Or you have to have your space helmet on anyway. Oh, that's fine then. Just position the glare. But what if there's

a hottie astronaut on the mission with you? But chances are he's got it too, so that's cool. So it's fine. Everyone's on the same ship. I think the volunteers

hands up who wants to go to Mars probably just decreased. Yeah, a little bit. A little bit. But then it's insane people who don't think they've got them.

They find out they do. Yeah. Wow. By being put into a little bit. A little bit. But then it's insane. People who don't think they've got them, they find out they do. Yeah. Wow. By being put into a stressful situation. It's a hell of a way to find out. But then I also like to think if you're an astronaut, you're significantly more grown up than worrying about having a cold sore. Like if you're halfway to Mars, you're like, turn around. Why?

I said turn around. I'm having a flare up. Like you're over that. I think you're past that point if you go to my house. FEM. Myspace have had a ho-werpsy. They've deleted everything from before 2015. It's for the best.

I know. See you later. Bebo, can you do the same thing? Bebo! Oh, actually, Bebo's worse for me. Oh, give me your love. Give me your love Oh my gosh did anyone ever give love to someone

That wasn't their partner at the time God you heard about that Didn't you You were only allowed one love a day and then all of a sudden You were allowed like three loves a day And so you'd give a couple of loves to like other people To hot girls Shivers you heard about it

How's that Now why are you giving them love? Especially if one day you didn't give out the love to your partner Yeah Where's my love? My heart So what, they've accidentally deleted everything They've lost every single piece of content uploaded to its site before 2016

Including millions of songs But that's okay There's probably a lot of very emotional songs. Photos and videos. A lot of My Chemical Romance. A lot of My Chemical Romance. Dashboard confessional. Oh, yeah.

A few and most of the photos taken from like above you and you look kind of looking up. We're still doing that. Above is the best angle. You've got to have your chin up before it was chin down. Look up with the eyes. You're in this emo black fringe nowadays. Yeah.

Yeah, less looking through the fringe. The company's blaming a faulty server migration. It happened more than a year ago, and apparently they were first like, oh, no, it's just a bit of a problem. It'll be solved. And then they were like, we were lying. We deleted everything.

Wow. Oh, did you guys want those photos? Oh. A year and nobody cared. Brilliant. Gone. Yeah, to be fair, we had a long time to get anything off there that we wanted. So they're saying 50 million songs from 14 million artists are gone,

including artists that thanked Myspace for kind of their kickstart like Lily Allen Arctic Monkeys. Oh wow. A whole bunch of early mid 2000s bands that kind of got their launch through MySpace.

Well luckily they're all on Spotify now. I'm sure and look they didn't even notice. Yeah. Nobody did.

There's a new study out that shows wedding planning is more stressful or just as stressful as having another job. So you've got your nine to five or whatever, and then you've got to plan your wedding as well. And most of the time, it can be up to like two years of planning. So two years with two jobs.

Let's be honest, most of the time people are doing it at work, aren't they? Well, anytime you can. Anywhere you can get on Pinterest, my friend. Yeah. Anywhere. So, yeah, they said it's like having another job. They did a study of 2,000 married couples and two in five said it's more time consuming

than it was 20 years ago. 40% said organising their wedding was like a second job. And then broken down into how much time you'll spend on each element. Right. So they estimate around six hours you spend picking the flowers. Eleven hours will be spent just trying on the perfect dress. I probably would have been more for me.

This is indecisiveness at its finest. It's like saying, oh, it took me two hours to find the jeans I wanted. It's like, well, what, we just walk and get them. Even not even so many. It's like you. They don we just walk and get them. Even not even so many. They don't just go in and buy like $40 jeans and they don't care. And then it depends, like for flowers. $40, but if you get three pairs, they're a hundred. I know.

Yeah, they're good jeans too. They're good jeans. It's a way to go. But for flowers, it depends on like what time of the year, like how much. Because you always go into a wedding being like, this is what I want. And then what you can afford is something completely different. It's agapanthus. There's lots of that just growing around the place. The purple or the white? always go into a wedding being like, this is what I want and then what you can afford is something completely different. Agapanthus.

There's lots of that just growing around the place. The purple or the white? Well, make it a purple and white themed wedding. And get some agapanthus off the side of the road. Gotta have agapanthus. So nine hours is spent

getting the guest list down. That would have been more for me too. More for the dress and more for the guest list. Being like, they can't come. Yeah.

Done. Trying to figure out who. That's easy, but it's then when you tell your family that who's coming and who's not coming. Oh, right. Nine hours of debate. Yeah. Oh, right. And then you tell them their kids can't come and then they don't come and then they come back and be like, oh, actually, can we come? And then you're like, no, well, I haven't made a place for you.

I thought the seating plan would take longer, but it's always annoying. Someone's like, oh, they can't sit by so-and-so. It's like, well, I haven't made a place for you. I thought the seating plan would take longer. But it's always annoying. Someone's like, oh, they can't sit by so-and-so. It's like, well, they can't come then. Yeah. And they've said the stressful part right at the beginning is booking the venue, which everyone knows, and you have to do it up to two years in advance.

See, none of this is surprising to me. It's all, it's, yeah. Surprising to those. Yeah, but you it's, yep. Surprising to those. Yeah, but you're a veteran now. You've done two. I've done two. Both of them were just as stressful as the other. Oh, really?

That's not getting easier? No. Oh. Okay. And then you talk to people who are newly engaged, and you don't like to rain on their parade, but you're like, good luck with the guest list, and good luck with this,

and then they come to you, yeah, with the issues of the guest list. And they're like, yeah, you were right, you were right. I've got a list of 250 people. Yeah, good luck with that. From the ZM Think Tank, this is the Top Six. Hello there and welcome to today's Top Six. You may hear the news today that Auckland Council has provided a $63 million bailout for Eden Park,

which apparently, I don't know, couldn't afford to pay its bills. So we went to the bank of mum and dad and it's mum and dad of the council. The council were like, and dad, the mayor was like, no. But mum was like, just help them out. And there was a vote and it happened. So there's $10 million of that is like a grant.

So they don't have to pay that back. Oh, sorry. I thought I muted my microphone. But it seems I just turned it on again and popped into it. So professional. But then the rest of it's like, I don't know, like a super low

interest loan. Is that like a loan when your parents are like, you've got to pay this money back and you're like, oh, I will. Take it out of my inheritance and my cold, dead hands. So the top six things I want Eden Park to have after I've got $63 million, because guess what? I'm a rate payer. And I'm an entitled prick about it.

Of course. Everything else isn't enough. I want it all. And I want it now. More than the rest of the rate payers. Number six on the top six things I want Aidan Park to have after I got $63 million. Less annoying neighbours. God.

They moved in next to a massive stadium and they're like, it's too loud. Or, what do you mean you want to have a concert there? It's only a bloody perfect place for it. It's too loud. That's why they can't have concerts. So they're allowed to have six concerts a year apparently, but every time they put it out there that they're going to have one, they were like, too loud.

I'd be like, yes, they get it free. Free concert. Yeah. Surely you could have some common sense about it. It'll wrangle some seats. And they never go past 10, 30, 11. And that's how long people stay up writing complaining letters anyway.

So they're awake. Number five on the list of the top six things I want Eden Park to have after I got $63 million are free hot chips. Like if you can prove that you're a rate payer, free hot chips. Even if you can't prove that you're a rate payer, just a massive amount of free hot chips. Or even just... I wouldn't let anything a rate payer, free hot chips. Even if you can't prove that you're a rate payer, just a massive amount of free hot chips.

Or even just... I wouldn't let anything slide if I got free hot chips. Wow. I mean, within reason. Well, yeah. That's a big reason. Big pool of reason. Our number four on the list of the top six things

I want Eden Park to have after I got $63 million. I don't think I'm out of line here. Come for your seats. Oh, yeah. Hard on the buttocks. Because you know some people take their own cushions. Cushions, yes. Well, if you've got hemorrhoids,

you'd be crazy not to take your own cushion ring. I just don't want the judgment of walking in with my own cushion. With a phone cushion. No, I think you'd want to fold down one and then you get in there and you're like, either it's one of those ones that you take the bung out of and it sucks air in. Oh, yeah.

Or it's one you get in and you're like, either it's one of those ones that you take the bung out of and it sucks air in. Oh, yeah. Or it's one you get and you're like, put that in. Much comfier. And then you've got to look at inflatable. A little ring. But then when you stand up,

you've got to remember it's there because the seats flack up automatically and then you'll lose your hemorrhoid ring. And you don't want your hemorrhoid ring blowing onto the cricket pitch.

Imagine the embarrassment if you lost your hemorrhoid ring. And they cricket pitch. Imagine the embarrassment if you lost your hemorrhoid ring. And they stopped down. The cameras are focusing on you. And it's because it's a wheel. It's got a bit of roll on and it's rolled out into the middle of the pitch. And they're like, ladies and gentlemen, we're just going to have to stop play here at Auckland's Aden Park.

Who's lost their hemorrhoid ring? Hands up. Oh, it's got a name on it. That's handy. Someone's mum's sewn their name on the hemorrhoid ring? Hands up. Oh, it's got a name on it. That's handy. Someone's mum's sewing their name on their hemorrhoid ring. Of course they have.

Read it out. Everyone has to come out and get it. Number three on the list of the top six things I want Eden Park to have after it got $63 million. More car parks?

Can we get some more care parks? Maybe bulldoze the houses that are complaining. Yeah, that'll solve all the problems. If you complain, your house gets built into a car park. Or they build a car park above your house. Yeah.

Literally just block out all your sun by building a car park over the top. Number two on the list of the top six things I want Eden Park to have after I've got $63 million. Cold booze and lots of it. You know, you're weak. It's not cold enough. You get your booze, you walk out of your seats warm you're weak. I was saying it's not cold enough. You get your booze, you walk out of your seat, it's warm. Warm, Sav.

And it's plastic bottles. Yeah. Oh, plastic bottles. I'm not saying we need glass bottles. That would be absolutely chaotic. But maybe some sort of very cold beverage dispenser. Well, like walkie-round. You know how they walk around with ice creams?

I mean, if you're taking your hemorrhoid ring, you're probably taking your... Cooley. Your cooley. Your little stubby holder. Stubby holder, yeah, exactly. Yeah, that's a good idea, actually, taking a stubby holder. It's got the warmth of the hand.

Yeah. And the number one thing on today's top six of the top six things I want Eden Park to have after I've got $63 million, more access to the company's corporate box. I know the company has a corporate box there. Did you know this, Megan? Eden Park.

I thought that was a joke. Do they? They like to tell us down low that it's a joke. They like to tell us. Yeah, isn't it? You say, what about the company corporate box? And they'll... But they're not laughing because it's a silly myth.

They're laughing because they're remembering all the good times they've had there. What about for concerts? I mean, I don't care about the cricket so much. Well, they don't really do many concerts there. It's a problem. Because of the widgey people. Yeah.

But I believe they have a box at Mount Smart and there's more concerts there. Do they have a box at Mount Smart? I think they've got a box at Mount Smart. Yeah, they've got a box everywhere. Who gets these?

You've got to sit with the commentary guys from Radio Sport, but that's not true. No. You're like, would you be able to pass us the chips?

Hey, we're passing out the chips! And they're going wide, they're going around pass us the chips Hey we're passing up the chips And they're going wide They're going around And the chips are in his hand You don't need to commentate Everything I do And now it looks like

He's gone to the toilet No I'm not I'm not I'm just going to stretch my legs That's right ladies and gentlemen He's stretching his legs It's because it's always Slightly nasally sounding

Because they've got the thing Over their mouth To stop it from working To make it sound like You've been doing everything On the microphone too much That's the corporate box At the bloody races though Isn't it There's corporate boxes everywhere Or everywhere lightly, nasally, sadly, because they've got the thing over their mouth to stop it from working and make it sound like they've got everything on the microphone too much. That's the corporate box at the bloody races, though, isn't it?

Yeah, dude. There's corporate boxes everywhere. Or everywhere. That is today's top six. Fletchbourne and Megan's Community Notices. Hello and welcome to Community Notices, a segment of the show where we see what's happening

on your local Facebook pages around New Zealand. Let's start with this. And this has got to come from the mum. Oh, my God. Delete that file. I'm not. Should I say where it happened, but no names or just the first name and not where it happened?

I'm going to say where it happened. No names. No names. Yeah, good call. Okay, so no names. But this happened on the Bayview, Eskdale, Fudanaki community page.

Okay. So that's the north shore of Auckland? Eskdale? No, that might not be. No, there's an Eskdale road over there. That's also good that we don't know where this is happening. Can anyone help?

My daughter's parcel has gone missing in Bayview. Oh my God. Delivered to, it says their address. I won't read that out. On the 27th of February. Where is this address?

They must have got a track and trace, but for some reason... Napier. Napier. 11 Hill Road, Bayview, Napier. That's where it got addressed. That's not their address, obviously. Why has it been sent to this address? Yep.

I'm unsure who got the parcel, but I'm pretty sure they won't want teen period underwear. What? Someone's mum. Someone's mum. Mum. Someone's mum. Put that on the community page.

Am I good, ma'am? Ma'am. Am I good, ma'am? Ma'am. Ma'am. Am I good, ma'am? Deleted ma'am. Ma'am.

Ma'am. Am I good, ma'am? What are you doing to me, ma'am? Ma'am. Ma'am. Ma'am. Oh, my God. Ma'am. What are you doing to me, ma'am? Ma'am. You just hear from a distance. Ma'am. Ma'am. What have you done, ma'am?

I'm not sure if you ma'am'd it there. Oh, my God, ma'am. Oh, my God, ma'am. You trace a bag of people who know you're my ma'am. Oh, my God, ma'am. I mean, you prefer a picture, ma'am. You trace a bag of people who know you're my ma'am. Oh, my God, ma'am. I mean, you prefer a picture, ma'am. Are they? Yeah, she's like, oh, no.

Ma'am. Ma'am. Oh, my God. Take me out of your profile picture, ma'am. I am no longer your daughter. I will no longer call you ma'am. Next up from the University of Canterbury Students Association Notice Board, Ashley's got a very important package that she's discovered.

Currently trying to find Jay who left a few boxes of condoms in our mailbox. Tag away because safe sex is important, kids. And don't be silly. Wrap your willy. Wrap it before you tap it. These are some great hashtags to promote safe sex. But if you're Jay and you... How do they know that he...

Because it's got his name on it. He got prescription condoms. Oh, right. And you can see it's got the, it's got the little Unicam sticker on there. Because we've mentioned that before, haven't we? That you can get those...

Prescription. When you go to the doctor and they're only like a couple of bucks for heaps of them. So what is the deal with that? They write, you have to go see the doctor and say,

I want to have sex. Yeah. But I'm assuming you're already there. There, you're like. Yeah. Or like, you know. It might be tonsillitis. P.S. I want to have sex.

Can you write a prescription? No, I'm telling you. Write your shopping list. Remember, you get like a hundred panadol for like cheaper than you would in the shop. And then you're like, I get a thousand condoms for two dollars. Yeah. Perfect. Right.

That's it. And you know like uni doctors and stuff are cheap anyway. Yeah, perfect. Great, that's it. And you know like uni.biz and stuff are cheap anyway. Oh yeah, true. So you know, it can probably be cheaper than buying a box anyway, just going.

But anyway, Jay, if you've got, if you're missing condoms, I've got, Ashley's got them. That's a big good way to get a hold of them. This is,

this is really great. This is Mel. He's from the Rollerstein Community page and he lets everybody know how much rain's fallen. He's young the Rollerstein community page and he lets everybody know how much rain's fallen. He's you. He's me.

I know. The person that sent this in was like, Vaughn, I don't know if this is a good community notice or the fact that this is just you

in 40 years. Oh, 40? Rain, says Mel. This is only for those interested near the rural end of Brookside Road. We've had 30 millimetres

of rain. I was very surprised to check the gauges. I didn't think I would need to post. I usually only post if it's 10 mil or more. Well, I'm happy to say that I have plenty of feed for our cattle now. Log for the log burner. And for this coming winter

I predict we're going to get a really wet one. Near the end of this month, for a few days, I won't be able to submit rain updates as I won't be here. Oh, he's putting in his leave. Lucky the Met service and knee would do it anyway. No need. He's finding someone to be his replacement.

When I turned 40, I did a bit of bike riding around the South Island. Thought as though next month I'm 75, I'm going to go and do the Otago Rail Trail. Oh, good on him. That's so awesome, eh? 75 out there. Yeah. I'm going to be on the bike. Jan's going to drive the car.

Jan doesn't want to be riding on those bloody gravel. Bloody stupid. Bloody stupid. Bloody fall off. Bloody stupid. Anyway, my brother-in-law will be looking after the farm

and he's not too bright. He can't be as he married one of my sisters. I'm not going to task him with the gauges but I will run it by him to see if he's willing to let everybody

drink. It's fallen. He's so cute. When he's running him through all the things to do on the farm. Yeah. Yeah, if you do, just update that community notice. Only if it's over 10 mils. The people have become quite reliant on old Mel coming out there with the

information. George on the Mount Maunganui community board's got the big questions. Does anyone know a McDonald's whose caramel sundaes don't immediately melt? Even though my car was air conditioned and I was home in four minutes, it was an absolute mess by the time I got there. Do you know, this might shock you. The other day I went to McDonald's and saw a woman walk out with a takeaway sundae

in like the big sundae container. No sauce. San sauce. So she just went for a full sauce serve. Full sauce serve, no sauce. But why? Isn't it why? But you can get sauce.

Did she know that you can get sauce? No, she said no sauce, obviously. Because it's not an option. I don't want to be her friend. I know. I know that's what I was thinking. Like, what kind of boring person are you? But there's different choices.

Like, your choice was... I'm trying to work out. I'm like, maybe it was a calories thing, but if you get in a large soft serve, calories are obviously not a concern. No, it didn't matter. Maybe she didn't want it to melt. That's like somebody else who will get a Mr. Whippy

and it was just a plain one in a cone. No flake, no chalk dip, no sprinkles, no nothing. And I was like, is it a money thing? No, because it's just as much. It's the same cost. Yeah,

the sauce is free, right? Well, it's included. Oh, look, I don't know. Listen to us. We're just like,

shim smacked. I mean, we love sauce. Saffles. Why wouldn't you love sauce? And finally today from the Torbay page, Charlene's after something very specifically.

It is a male bunny. Hi, does anyone have a male bunny who would be interested in fathering a litter of baby bunnies? I prefer to bring the female to your house. Also prefer not white. Oh, okay. Could you mention the awkward time when they're there waiting for the bunnies to...

Yeah, you just chat and have a cup of tea. Do you watch them? Well, you kind of have to to know if it's happened or not. Or do you just trust that it will? Or do you leave it overnight? Does the male bring flowers or like... You know it's done though. Actually, I've seen this done before.

You know that they're walking and they've both got little cigarettes. And they're like... So just look for the ciggy butts. Okay. Whatever noise a rabbit makes. I assume it's something stupid like that. What's up, dog?

Nothing. Those are today's community notices. If you see anything out there, including those Imperial undies, somebody wants them back.

Ma'am! Ma'am! They're mentioning it again, ma'am. Ma'am, oh my God, I threatened and forgotten about it. Ma'am, they're mentioning it again, ma'am. Screencap your things that you spot and send it to our Facebook page, FEMZM on Facebook. FEMZM.

Three in five millennials have revealed that life is more stressful now than ever before. And I don't think I mean, everything's relative and people get stressed for lots of different reasons in life. But they have said

with social media there is a huge frustration for them now. Smartphones and digital technology are kind of supposed to make everything easier. But for young adults, it is making it tougher. And there is a bunch of reasons. So, yeah, they feel 58% because Vaughan doesn't like doing three out of five. 58%? Yeah.

That's more specific than three out of five. That could be 60%. So they pointed out lots of causes of frustration. And it's for daily micro-stresses. So being stuck in traffic, waiting for appointments, various smartphone issues, losing your wallet, credit card, one in five. Oh, I can't work out that percentage. How much is it? 20%.

Whatever. I'll tell you how it's done. I don't care. Megan's got a point. She can Google it. 20% say that I'm getting stressed at maths. Is that the other one?

No, I just said I don't care. I mean, I could learn, but... Well, by the way, we've got calculators and stuff. Yeah, exactly. Exactly. Fill up your brain with that nonsense. Yeah. So one in five say they get stressed when their smartphone screen breaks.

Isn't that stressful? Yeah. The thing is, it's all relevant. People are quick to bag a millennial, but the baby boomers have raised them. It's the Gen Xers who have raised them. So look no further than in the mirror, older people before.

And everybody had problems. Yeah. You know, in the 70s, it was that, I don't know, the phone was being used by somebody else. And you're on a cord, so you couldn't go too far on the phone. You know, everyone had phone-related stresses. And one in five say getting zero likes on a social media post is stress-inducing.

This is sad. Yeah, so that's nothing to worry about. Yeah. Especially with recent events. You're just like, it all puts it into perspective. It all puts it into perspective. But then in saying that,

everybody's got their own struggles and everybody's struggling with stuff. So if somebody finds that stressful, they might not find something else stressful that somebody else does. So yeah, it's all relative. That particular one is annoying though because we should,

social media has turned us all into monsters. But, and like low percentage on your battery remaining is causing 23% to stress about that. But that's also a safety thing. Like if I'm out and about and I don't have much battery left, I'm like, what if my car breaks down? And you can't go to town. I have to literally wave at a stranger and be like,

somebody help me. So that, I understand that stress. But yeah, millennials are finding life more stressful than ever before. And a lot of them are fairly trivial things. And I think, yeah, this study was from America. I think for New Zealanders

right now, maybe not so much as stressful as bigger events. Yeah. But interesting that most of those things are phone related and social media related. Yeah. Put down the phones, guys. Look up. Yeah, but then you need the time because I don't have a watch.

It's on my phone. Oh, yeah. I can't tell the time on watches. Yeah, and then I'm like, I've got a notification. Yeah. And then you're in, aren't you? Yeah. Yeah.

And then you might as well just see what's happening on YouTube. Exactly. Oh, you're there. Yeah. I mean, the Toy Story And then you might as well just see what's happening on YouTube. Exactly. Oh, you're there, aren't you? Yeah, I mean, the Toy Story 4 trailer's out, guys, so let's not forget that. If you've got low battery, you don't want to get halfway through Toy Story 4 and not know what's going to happen at the end of that trailer. That's true.

That looks really good, by the way. It's probably a little bit of a cry. I'm saving it. Are you saving the trailer for later on? Yeah, for a moment when I can really pay attention to it. Don't watch it in too vulnerability. Woody's still got it, I'll tell you that much. Welcome one, welcome all to the Fletch, Vaughan and Megan podcast,

brought to you by Spark. Get four gigs of bonus data on Spark's $49 prepaid value pack. Now, on with the podcast. This is so amazing that this has been organised. A human chain of love is being organised for mosques around New Zealand and basically to show solidarity for the Muslim population in New Zealand. So New Zealand Stand Together is a Facebook event and it's scheduled for Friday lunchtime.

Friday is their big day of worship, isn't it? Yeah. So basically wanting to get people out to their local mosques and then to join hands in a chain around the buildings. Yeah. It'll be, yeah. It'll be. I just think Friday alone is going to be an intense day.

God. All the emotions. Yeah. I want to carry on reading the story. Did you see the guy, he was in the UK, he held a sign. Outside the Manchester mosque. Yeah.

Saying, yeah, I'll keep an eye out. You guys go on and pray. Oh. I just think that's really special. Yeah. It's, yeah, it's time. How many days? It's not, yeah, a couple more days until it's a week.

That time, it feels like it's flown, but it feels like it's gone really slow. It's a really confusing time for our little nation. But I'm proud of everybody showing love, that's got out there and showed love. There's been vigils last night in Christchurch on the news. It showed a whole bunch of school kids having vigils because there were school, you know,

one of the people who passed away was a school, went to school in Christchurch. So yeah, it's definitely the love's outweighing any ill feeling at the moment, but it's getting to the business end of things for politicians and the law side. Well, yeah, they've announced that there will be gun reform

before, I think it was Friday was said, or Monday. And Jacinda, Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern spoke in Parliament yesterday. He sought many things from his act of terror, but one was notoriety. And that is why you will never hear me mention

his name. He is a terrorist. He is a criminal. He is an extremist. But he will, when I speak, be nameless. And to others I implore you, speak the names of those who were lost, rather than the name of the man who took them. He may have sought notoriety, but we in New Zealand will give him nothing, not even his name. Also, that very good point of not me, we've avoided the name being mentioned,

but there is an article on the New Zealand Herald website of the faces, it's called Christchurch Terror Attack Faces of the Fallen. It was an intense thing to watch unfold and read about when it was happening. But now that there's names and faces and stories of all of these people, it hits you. It really, the human face on it now is undeniable. There's no sort of, it certainly makes it feel real.

I mean, that sounds stupid, but you know what I mean? Like you go and you read people and there's names, stories of their families, their lives, everyday people, doctors, professors, engineers, school children, fathers, mothers. So you mentioned the Chain of Love, Megan. Is there like an event page for that? It's New Zealand Stand Together is what you can search on Facebook for the event.

And yeah, basically Friday lunchtime. Go to your local mosque, hold hands with people, do the human chain of love. Producer Caitlin, at the weekend you went to a wedding. I did. Was it a sombre time for a wedding? No, because it was just sharing love. Yeah, true. Yeah. Yeah, true. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah, we were trying to forget. Now, after the wedding, you met somebody. Yeah. And they saw you coming in a split second. Yeah, so I was talking to this woman

and as you do, because if you don't know someone, you're like, okay, so what should we talk about just to, you know, lighten the mood? And I was like, so what do you do, because if you don't know someone, you're like, okay, so what should we talk about? Just to, you know, lighten the mood. And I was like, so what do you do? And she just like did this really big sigh. And I was like, oh no, like, what is she going to tell me?

She's just like, like, she kind of looked at me and then sighed. And then she's like, I'm a psychologist, but I'm off the clock. Don't ask me any questions. And I was like, oh, okay. Don't ask me any further questions about my job or don't start asking me to work you out. Just like, don't ask me any questions. I know your type.

I know what's about to happen. I'm looking at you. We've been talking a minute. No, it wasn't to do with Caitlin. It's just like, she obviously gets it all the time. Well, I don't know, because, you know, you've got a drink in your hand and you're a hot mess. Yeah, why don't you? You know.

I wanted to be like, well, I've actually got a boyfriend. So I'm getting things to do. And she'd be like, I'm not unpacking that either. Oh, my. She's like, oh, God, I set us off the clock, but this is a case too juicy to make. Dip my tongue in. Well, it just really shut down the conversation. So I was like, okay.

Well, she didn't make you feel like you could talk to her about anything that's like when when someone's like oh I'm a physiotherapist and you're like like if someone

if you meet someone after the show Vaughn as you are currently having a wet sack on your shoulder because you've got a sore neck if you met someone

after the show and they're like I'm a physio how tempted would you be to be like, give us a little rub on my shoulder? Can you give me what he reckons wrong here? What do you reckon?

I'd say, what do you reckon is wrong here? Funny you should mention that. What do you reckon is wrong here? They get it all the time. Yeah. But my mum's a nurse and she gets it. People are just like, oh, can you ever look at this? And mum's like, no.

Put your pants back on. So we thought we'd take some calls now of those times when you get asked to do your job when you're off the clock, when you're not at work. Right. You know, like when I'm at a party and people say, can you introduce an Ed Sheeran song? And I say, no.

I always get, oh, I don't listen to your radio station. Oh, that's okay. Not many people do. I don't listen to the radio. I don't listen to the radio. I'm like, oh, I don't listen to your radio station. I don't listen to the radio. I don't listen to the radio. I'm like, oh, what do you do? I sell vegan products. And I'm like, well, probably a good thing.

I don't buy vegan products. So maybe you're a psychiatrist, a physio, or whatever you do for a job, do you get asked to do it when you're not at work, off the clock? You're at a party, a physio, or whatever you do for a job, do you get asked to do it when you're not at work, off the clock? You're at a party, a social event, and then someone's like, well, just, you know, give us some expertise here. Yeah. I imagine makeup artists, like, because I've got a friend,

and when we're at a party or, like, just going before a party, I'm always, like, in the back of my mind, oh, could she just do a wee touch-up? And I never ask. I never ask. Bonus points are the most inappropriate place. Yeah. Like a wedding's a hell of a place if Caitlin wants to be like,

can you just break down? Like, what's going on? And, like, that's a really inappropriate place. I would not have done that. I know. I would have just been like, oh, my God, I've got a boyfriend. My life's going so well.

I just want, like, you know. You would want her to validate you or something and some reassurance. I feel like you're doing well, babe. Yeah. See, she knew. That's why she shut you down. I know, I know. She wasn't on the clock. So 0800 Downs at M.

Give us a call right now. You can text as well. 9696. When have you been asked to do your job when you're off the clock, when you weren't at work? Producer Caitlin, at a wedding at the weekend, I met a psychiatrist who shut her down instantly and said, I'm not working right now. I can't help you.

I'm off the clock. So we want to know when you've been off the clock for work, you've been out somewhere and someone's asked you to do your job or for some advice. Some messages on Instagram, people respond to the question we put up on our story. Somebody said, my husband's a chef, so we get invited to dinner and then we arrive and he's expected to pretty much help all the time. What would you do here, Steve? That sort of. What would you do with these mushrooms?

Now that you're friends with Josh Emmett, because you talked about his spaceship stove. His induction. Oh, they don't call it a stove. It's a cooktop. A stove. A cooktop. Yeah, Josh Emmett's got one of those old stoves

that people put knives under the elements to have them up to their spots off. One of New Zealand's top. It would be great. It would be. No, it wouldn't be. It'd suck a little away. You wouldn't want to do an extractor to Chiffin

if you're not going to do some spots and hoots. Anyway, my point is you need to invite him round. It's already gone. You need to invite him round, but just have all the raw ingredients Anyway, my point is you need to invite him round. It's already gone. You need to invite him round, but just have all the raw ingredients. Oh, no, I wouldn't invite him to our kitchen. It's an embarrassment. It's an embarrassing kitchen.

You don't know that he's a kitchen snob. He should be. He's a quiet kitchen snob. He deserves to be. Vicky, when were you off the clock and asked to work? Well, I couldn't name one time. Several times. I'm a hairdresser by trade, so

I get asked all the time about, oh, what do you think you could do with my hair at 11 o'clock at night when you've had a belly full of booze? Like, shave it off. Yeah, I never go. Ever heard this? We'll just shave it off. I'm more go-to hairdressers.

Oh my God, don't look at my hair at the moment. It's just a mess, you know? Do you get that a lot? Yeah. Oh, my God, don't look at my hair at the moment. It's just a mess, you know? Do you get that a lot? Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah, all the time. Yeah, all the time. Doesn't matter where you are, day or night, always ask.

Always on the clock. What can you do? Brilliant. All right, thanks for your call, Vicky. Jess, when were you off the clock and asked to work? I'm a photographer, so I quite often get invited to events, and then they're like, oh, can you bring your camera? Or I'll be somewhere, and I get thrown, like, an iPhone, and they're like, oh, she's a photographer, so I quite often get invited to events and then they're like, oh, can you bring your camera? Or I'll be somewhere and I get thrown like an iPhone and they're like, oh, she's a photographer, she can do it.

Yeah. Bring the big camera. All the time. Just bring your big camera along. Are you going to bring your big camera? That's it. 100%. Wow.

And have you been asked to do any weddings for free? No, but, you know, they kind of hint and dance around for a discount because, you know, we're friends. Is that the best you can do? Oh, wow. Yeah, it is. It's my job.

Very cheeky. All right. Thanks, you're cool. Jess? Dave, what do you get asked to do? Well, so I'm a technical director for an events company, so I do, like, big shows, concerts, all that kind of stuff. But the amount of people that ask me to fix their TVs or crappy bar sound systems, like in the middle of the night,

or, you know, when you're in a wedding and you get like feedback, everyone looks at me and goes, can you go fix that, please? It's even gone international. We were in Croatia last year during the World Cup final. Bars packed out, TV breaks. My best mate looks at me and goes, can you go fix it, please? Everyone's looking. Everyone's trying to find somebody in the room that's going to fix it,

and you're the only one here that knows how to do it. God, I wouldn't want that pressure during a World Cup final. Yeah. Well, look, a bit of leaky tape and I had it working. So you didn't get it working. That's good, though. Yeah. But honestly, it's unreal. My parents ring me every five minutes saying, hey, how do of leaky tape and I had it working. So you didn't get it working. That's good, though. Yeah. But honestly, it's unreal.

My parents ring me every five minutes saying, hey, how do we make this work again? Is it AV1 or AV2? How do I get to the AVs? Oh, you press HDMI. But how do I get to an AV if I'm pressing HDMI? Evan, what are you asked to do off the clock? I'm a data analyst for a university,

but really the only thing people ever hear is that I work with computers. And they get this kind of strange light behind their eyes and they're like, hey, I forgot the password to my Gmail account. Would you be able to reset that for me? Yeah, can you just hack into the mainframe and do that thing

with the movies? Or what should I buy for my computer? I'm building one. It's like, I don't know, something that you like. If they're building one, surely they know more about it than you. No offence, but you're a data analyst, not a computer builder. Yeah, exactly.

That's always what I say. It's like, I can find out for you. I'll send you a quote. Yeah. That would be great. But probably the worst place I've ever been asked to do one is I was at a funeral for kind of a friend of a friend. Yeah. That would be great. But probably the worst place I've ever been asked to do one is I was at a funeral for kind of a friend of a friend. Yeah. And I was talking to someone there and asked what I did and they're like, oh, my phone's

kind of bricked itself. So they whipped it out and were like, oh, can your factory reset it for me? That might take a minute. And it's like, oh, if I give it to you now, can I pick it up before we leave? You're at a funeral. I'm also preoccupied with what's happening right here. I've just got this mini little tablet in my pocket at this funeral. Hey, Evan, thanks for your calls and text messages.

Somebody, and we've heard from lots of vets or vet nurses. The minute there's a vet nurse, someone will put a pet in their arms and be like, tell me what's wrong with this pet. And one of them even said, I just had it back saying, it's broken. At events, if you hand me your pet, I will tell you it's broken. My husband's a beekeeper. He gets contacted all the time to get rid of wasps' nests.

He says, both have wings, but it's not a wildly different animal. Yeah, way different. This isn't in my jurisdiction. But then would a bee suit be wasp proof? I'd say so. Yeah, but he does not have a job to get rid of your pests. Nah. He's about the cute ones that make the yummy stuff.

Yeah. Not the angry German ones that do nothing apart from sting. Somebody said part of my job involves installing car seats for kids. I get asked every day when I go to pick up my kids from school car seats for kids. I get asked every day when I go to pick up my kids from school if I could just quickly check the seats to make sure they're in properly.

I'd be saying for $20 that would, or just have an invoice slip in your pocket and just be ready to fill it out and serve it to them. So you slam on the brakes and if it goes, hits the seat it's not in properly. goes, hits the seat, it's not in properly. Oh, when the kid's not in there. Yeah.

Get a sack of flour that weighs about as much as your kid, strap it in, hoon down the road, slam on the brakes, see how the flour is. You will lose some flour because flour just loves

coming out of flour bags, even if it's fully sealed. Because it always finds a way out, doesn't it? Yeah. Well, it is fine. Fine particles. Very fine.

Well, you'd think it's 2018-19. They would have sorted out the seal of a flour bag and sugar. It's also March and you haven't figured out that it's 2019. I know.

I normally get to about November and I'm finally now the nine, the last digit. And yeah, then they're going to change it. It's also not part of the flourishing baking industry either. So it shouldn't be

hard to account like the people with the flour bags baking industry either so he shouldn't be able to account like the people with the flour at the moment um oh I'll give you the back story my daughters and what they want to do

I just said before Indy wants to be a vet always said she wants to be a vet that's her that's her when she grows up do you think

when she gets older she'll realize how hard it is and then just be like oh no we've been telling her how hard it is because it's hard

even to get in oh yeah I know that was me though because I loved animals as well. And you're like, yeah, I want to be around them all the time. I want to pet the cute ones. But you have to do some pretty. I know that's what I said to her.

I was like, you know, there's really sad parts where you've got to like put animals out of pain and like break the news to people that they're animals. And she's like, yeah, but wouldn't it be nice to be able to help the animals be out of pain? In that case, it'd be nice for people. So I was like, yeah, it just feels like that's what she's. But then you have to go to Palmerston North? Are you saying because she'll be away from you? Yeah, honey, honey, honey.

And like, can she do it at Massey on the North Shore? You're not going to be one of those parents that are like, never leave me. I am 100% the parent that's like, never leave me. Have you seen that video around online? Now, I'm not sure. It's a wedding dance, and it says, cool dad and daughter do wedding dance. But it might just be a slightly older looking groom who's now been labelled as this woman's dad.

But they did this wedding dance together, and I was just watching, and I was like, oh, no. That'll be Indy, not August. Can't wait till your kids hate you and ask you to drop them off around the corner so people don't see their dad. Why would you say that? They'll never know. They will never have friends that say that sort of stuff

because they won't be allowed to play with them. So Indy wants to be a vet. August, since she was like two, whenever you asked her what she wanted to be when she grew up, she always said an elephant. Okay. What? She wants to be an elephant?

What do you want to be when you grow up? An elephant. Arifant. Afifant was the first bit and then it evolved and she can fully talk clearly and now she's an elephant.

So now she realises she probably can't morph into an elephant. She's changed her mind. She will not be told that she can't morph into an elephant. Okay, changed her mind. She will not be told that she can't morph into an elephant. Okay, right. Because she's your kid.

Yeah. I will be an elephant, dammit. That's just what I'm going to be. So, okay, wouldn't ask too many questions of it. But the other day we were in the car and she said, I've changed my mind about what I want to be. Oh, God. And I said, what do you want to be?

And she said, I'm going to be a rat catcher. Because lately, in my effort to rid our new place of rats, it's been all about the rats. There's been traps. There's been the Good Nature A24 gas powered trap.

Which they have sent me an attachment for the top. So it will bluetooth me if I've made a successful kill. Oh my God. Which is great. That's great technology. And you have also put

one of your home security cameras next to the trap so I can catch if I know and also in the tree because they love macadamia nuts. These rats. Okay. Love them.

I've had one rat successful rat kill so far in the macadamia nuts. And I hope this isn't too gruesome for people, but they're yucky rats. They're a pest. Yeah, they are. And in that tree, in the top of that tree, there's also a fantail nest. Oh, you've got to protect them.

Yeah, and I'm all about this, but they're not bothering the fantails because they've got enough food with the macadamia nuts. Right. So, I have also screwed old school spring traps into the trunk of the trees. You're an animal. The rats.

So I've been talking about it a lot and I think August is drawn from my excitement. Okay. And she's decided now when she's older she's going to be a rat catcher. Right. So this morning, just before I got to work, I got a notification on the security camera that I have in the tree because it also detects audio. And if you listen to the audio, it might be a bit too much for some people I won't play it but it's just like it's just the sound of a spring trap going off and then some shaking and I messaged Shade I'm like tell August the time is upon her to begin her apprenticeship go and see if there's

a rat in the tree and she's like I've just asked she's refusing. I don't know if rat trap is her. She's gone back to being an elephant. An elephant, yeah. She'll be like, I've been really thinking of this career thing. I don't know if I've got the stomach for that. I don't want to touch them. Yeah, it's just the elephant, it's so much better. I can see her face on the side of a van, August Pest Control.

Yeah. Thumbs up, the thumbs up. You got August Pest Control. Yeah. Thumbs up. The thumbs up. Yeah. You got rats, we'll get them. Thumbs up. We'll get thumbs up. Sorted.

But no, I can't convince her to go and check the rat trap. Right. I'll let you know if anything changes. Okay. 11 minutes. World's worst rat trapper. Yeah. FBM.

Story out of Hastings. This is in the news now because it's in court this week. But this happened in October last year. Let me set the scene. October 10. Yep. Spring. Spring in Hastings.

Bruce, who's 43, consumes five black coffees in a short period of time. Okay. Where does he do this? I don't know, at home. Do we have any gauge on to what his normal coffee consumption is? I'm glad you've asked, Megan, because he's not usually a coffee drinker. Oh, at all? No.

And he had five. So he knocks five black coffees back. I'm guessing long black. You wouldn't drink five big black coffees. You'd need to go wheeze and you'd probably need to go poos too because it really gets it all started, doesn't it, a black coffee? It does, yeah. So he drinks five cups of black coffee over a short period of time.

He then. Bruce. Brucey. What, do you have a big day plan or something? I don't know. What do you mean? Maybe he's just feeling a bit slow and someone's like, have you tried a coffee?

And he's like, how many of these are supposed to drink? You had one that's not doing anything. How many have you had? Yeah, exactly. You have one. It's like, well, yeah, you take one of something and it doesn't work, so you take another one. And, well, see you guys.

So he has one, feels nothing, consumes four more. How many of these? How many have you had, Bruce? Five. He's not usually a coffee drinker. He enters the Focal Point Cinema in Hastings. Wait, so he was going to a movie? It would seem.

Was it a late movie maybe? And he was feeling a bit tired. He didn't want to fall asleep. If he's paying for it, he didn't want to fall asleep. I can't see what time of the day this happened. Okay. So five cups of coffee, Bruce, not usually a coffee drinker, enters Focal Point Cinema and immediately throws up on the floor.

So staff are like, oh, heck, we better clean this up. You're right, mate. So they come out to clean up and he helps. He feels bad. He wants to help with a mop and a bucket. That's sweet. So it's during this cleaning process that he walks away from the cleaning towards the counter.

Okay. He pushes a staff member out of the way and gets in behind the counter of the cinema and takes four bottles of water out of the fridge. Then he pushes past the same staff member on the way back out and he's back on the public side of the counter where you'll remember earlier he vomited. Then he begins squirting members of the public

with the water that he's stolen because he didn't pay for the $4. Oh, I thought he just had a dry mouth or something. Well, maybe that was the idea. He wanted to wash the sick out. But he starts squirting members of public with the water. The manager then approaches him and Bruce steps to the manager and headbutts him in the face.

Oh, my God. That took a turn. The manager said, I had a sore nose and a sore lip, and the police were then called to the manager and headbutts him in the face. Oh my God. That took a turn. The manager said, I had a sore nose and a sore lip. And the police were then called to the scene. The police arrived and said, you're under arrest. But he pushed the officer and ran away. He was confronted by another officer and pushed him and continued to run, but then fell over his own feet as he headed towards the door.

Or the wet floor where the clean-up had been done. In his own vomity mess. They handcuffed him, but he refused to place his arms behind his back. He said, you're resisting and don't stop resisting. He continued to resist and he refused to put his arms behind him. It took three officers to handcuff him. Well, he's had five coffees. So they said, what's up, Bruce?

What's the story? And he said, I had five cups of black coffee and I'm not a coffee drinker. That doesn't explain. Coffee doesn't make you steal water. He has never appeared before a court. He has no previous convictions or any history with the law. He just says he all there. It hit him.

It hit him. It hit him. And apparently there are situations where people who have adverse reactions to caffeine. And the coffee. I have one coffee a day. If that, if I had five coffees, I don't know what would happen. I mean, put my hands up, I might vomit all over you. I don't know.

And headbutt fletch and steal my water and squirt me with it. Resist arrest. But that's, man, I only wish for the days where I felt a cough. I drink a coffee, it doesn't even touch the sides. Like, I have coffee strong too. I have it black and I have two heaps of coffee and it does nothing. But if I don't have one, I get a headache. I'm pretty sure this is addiction.

I dream for the day where a coffee could make me vomit and jump over a desk, steal something. Oh, the good old days. Do you remember your first coffee? I do. I actually don't remember that. Don't you? It was probably a moccatini.

We always had a cup of tea at my grandparents' house ever since we were little kids because we wanted to have a cup of tea with our granddad. And then one day they were having a coffee and I was a teenager and I was like, I'll have one of those. And they're like, are you sure? And I was like, yeah, I'll have one.

And I just drank it. Was it Red Ribbon? Oh, it would have been a Greg's Red Ribbon. Okay, yeah. Classic roast. And I drank it and I was like yeah I'll have one Was it red ribbon? It would have been a Greg's red ribbon Classic roast And I drank it and I was like And I felt my heart going And I was like I feel alive For the first time in my life So 16 year old Vaughan was almost

43 year old Bruce then I stumped at one Who knows if you'd even be here today Nan didn't let me have any more. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Today's fact of the day is that you shouldn't feel too bad about being, if you fall for a Nigerian-based email scam. You shouldn't feel too bad about it.

Because no matter how much money they get off you, they definitely got more money off Brazil. Okay. This is a story about one specific and the most high profile and the one Nigerian scammer who got the most money in one pop. Okay. How much do you think he got? When you said

a country, is it did he scam the government or an individual person? One specific person got the blame for being scammed. Right, so there's government money though. There is money, yes. Oh, so it could be millions.ammed. Right. So there's government money though. There is money, yes. So it could be millions.

Yes. Brilliant. 10 million. 10 million. $242 million. What? Because Nelson Sakaguchi, who is the director of Brazil's Banco Noroeste,

which is a Brazilian bank, believed that the bank was purchasing a brand new airport. The airport did not exist. Oh my god. Wow, that's a big play by that Nigerian. Got $191 million in cash money

and the remainder in the form of outstanding interest. So he said to him, this is how much it's going to cost. The guy fronted up $191 million and then continued to pay interest on the rest of the money. He believed he owed this Nigerian scammer between 1995 and 1998. Never once did this guy on behalf of the bank who was buying it see the airport being built. But in those days he was sent photos

of its building. But those were photos of another airport being built that this guy was literally just finding somewhere and sending it to him. Because it's not like he could have just googled because that was pre-internet. You couldn't be like, well, new airport in Nigeria. Yeah, 95 to 98.

Wow. Yeah, he had some accomplices, but they weren't heavily involved. They were just literally involved in going out and finding photos of airports being built. And so this guy's got the money. He's never been brought to justice? No, he got caught. He's in custody, but he's in custody for something different.

He was a ringleader of a gang after this all went down and he was arrested on charges. Quit while you're ahead. You've just got a couple of hundred million. No, he didn't quit while he was ahead. He went on to scam different people as well. He scammed an Iraqi central bank. Yeah.

And he also scammed a bank, a different, not just a straight up. These were more financial scams. These weren't just straight up how you want to buy an airport. These are real big con jobs, aren't they? Yeah. Long cons. But he's only in for 25 years. So he'll probably get out and give it another go.

I was trying to convert 200 million Brazilian. No, it's US. Oh, was it US? Oh, well, there was too many numbers in the Nigerian Naira to figure it out. Oh, no, they were trading

in US dollars. Oh, they were, okay. Yeah, even though it was going through what he believed was a Nigerian construction company and bank. So if your mum or dad or your grandparents

give them $1,000, that's nothing. That's not too bad. It could have been a whole lot worse because they could have been exchanging emails with Emmanuel Nwud, who also, by the way, before he did this, he was actually director of a bank. Oh, so he kind of knew the process. He might have known the ins and outs of it

because at least they didn't get defrauded of $242 million like the Bank of Brazil did. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. An Australian company is trying something and not everybody's going to be able to take advantage of this. Okay. Life leave because it's unpaid. Right.

Okay. Life leave is where you can take up to 12 weeks off. Instead of annual leave, you can take 12 weeks of unpaid leave if there's something that you feel you need to do. Wait, so you still get your annual leave. This is in Australia. Annual leave's paid. Yeah, this is at Ernst & Young, the accountancy firm.

Okay. So you still get your annual leave because you get paid for your annual leave. That's part of your contract. But you can have six to 12 weeks off a year, which you can use for whatever you want to do, but it's not paid. Right. You can split it up.

You can have it one or two blocks. You can have it all at once. You can do whatever, but it's not paid leave. Australia is like New Zealand. You get four weeks, which is pretty amazing because in America, unless you've got a sweet job, it's none. If you take time off, it's unpaid. And even in America, there are places that have done, like, unlimited leave.

But because the work environment is so, like, well, you shouldn't be on holiday while the rest of us are working, like, hardly anyone takes advantage of it. Whereas I'd be away, like, most of the year. Look at exactly how much you need to work and then not work a day or an hour longer. But that is, like you say, like, not many people are going to be able to do that because paycheck to paycheck, you know, you're a couple of days away from payday. You've had a big weekend. Exactly.

You're on the noodles. And yes, you can't really take like a couple of weeks unpaid leave, can you? But they're saying it's in Australia for, it's quite a competitive industry, the accounting and everything, because they've got all the big accounting firms over there. So you need to make

the job as attractive as possible and having sort of flexible policies like this is a lot more appealing to talented people who are already getting paid enough and they might have a side project they want to do a bit of work on or volunteer work. Or just travel.

Could you just never work Fridays? Can you break it down into days? But it would be unpaid. You wouldn't be getting paid on Fridays then. Yeah, but then like it's just a four-day weekend. You're breaking it down. You're still getting paid because you're working every week, just you're working less every week.

Yeah, I mean if you could do all your work on Thursday. I don't know because I'm not in charge at Ernst & Young, but you could talk to your boss about that. Yeah. I'd cram everything in in four days and then take a... But then there was that company in New Zealand that did that, eh? Did the four-day work week and they said they hadn't noticed the drop in production at all.

Yeah. So what you're saying is we shouldn't turn up on Friday? Well, we'll give it a go. See what happens. I honestly, if we weren't here at production, probably wouldn't change. Probably not, no. So we should come to work. Otherwise they'll notice we do nothing.

Or we just don't come and see if they even notice. Our swipe cards won't work on Monday. Ah, so they're giving us Monday off too. That's good. And then I think what happens, Megan, is we get life leave. We don't have a job. Yeah, that's what it is. And you've got to find one.

Yeah. Okay, so we'll be here Friday. Oh, I won't be. Well, I won't because we'll see who comes out better off. This is how science works. You're the control, Fletch, so you work as hard as usual on Friday. I won't be here to test what happens if you don't

work on Fridays. And what, I have to work harder? You take Monday. Okay. Fleek, you stay here. I mean, you'll be in Nelson, so I'll be making sure you come to work. So this is nothing new, but we've even talked to somebody on the show that did this. Yeah. But I think these numbers are quite staggering.

But I think there's also got to be a mistake. But I've read this number in two different news stories. So Sugar Babies in Australia, this is a SeekingArrangement.com hooks up young females with older men who not all the time don't want sex either. This is, that could just be companionship or to accompany them to a function or to go on dates with them. Just side note, Seeking Arrangement also has sugar babies, sugar mummies and sugar daddies. So it's not just females. There's lots of different.

There's all kinds. There's all kinds. I was talking to my friend. He was saying like here in Auckland, he knows a sugar baby and she has a house in an affluent suburb. And he has like a family. She has a whole house. But does the family know about it? I don't believe so, Vaughn.

How loose, how much money are you making that you can be paying two mortgages and your partner's not like, what's this like multi-thousand dollar payment going out every fortnight? And she just like lives a life. I was down for it until you said there was a family. Car, everything. Yeah, yeah. And so I don't know when he sees her, but he was telling me about it. I was like, that is like, wow.

He's probably just like, I'm just going to the garage. And he just goes out of the garage, turns the radio on, walks four houses down. But he's got a family. What does he need? A sugar baby? I don't know, Megan. Yeah.

Wow. Because she's probably 20. Right. Okay. Dirty doll. And he's like, yeah. Oh, I saw photos as well. I can, yeah.

Of what? No, of her. Which, the sugar baby? And the house. Both beautiful. Yeah. Wow. I was just like, wow.

But it's sugar babies. There's no, like, or could there be some kind of intimacy? Well, I don't know what that arrangement. Generally, there's not, right? I don't know what that, yeah, but sometimes there isn't. What is he getting out of it? I know what she's getting out of it. What is he getting?

Well, so apparently she's not the only one. Apparently 125,000 Australian university students have signed up for it. 125,000 Australian university students have signed up for it. 125,000. Wow. Do even that many people go to university in Australia? I don't know. Let alone that many of them be female? Or is it university aged?

Like Megan said, it's sugar babies, daddies, mamas. Sugar mummies and daddies. All the daddies and everything. So in 2018, the University of Sydney had the most students that were signed up. Because, you know, unis love their rankings, don't they? Yeah, well. We're the second. They're well behind the Queensland University of Technology.

Okay. They'll be looking to get ahead of them. I feel like the stigma of this is going down a lot too. Because, I mean, apart from the instance you said, where there's a family that could potentially be hurt. But like usually it's just two consenting adults. Well, yeah, so it's all consenting.

It's an agreement. They're getting money out of it. They might, and they set the rules as well, don't they? Exactly. Because the one, when we had a sugar baby in studio,

she said, you know, a lot of the time it's not even sex. Yeah. It's not intimate. It's just hanging out with these lonely people that have lots of money and they're willing to give it to them.

But I just can't get over the staggering numbers. Do you reckon a lot of people have just signed up, they've just got a profile in case it gets skinned? Well, maybe. You can understand. I mean, there's no judge. Okay, in this instance, a sugar daddy you like and he's like, maybe. You can understand. I mean, there's no judge. If there's, okay, in this instance, a sugar daddy you like, and he's like, cool, and you set the boundaries,

he doesn't want any intimacy. How is it different to a friend except he's paying you, but he's also getting something out of it? Like, that's better than a student loan, isn't it? Most definitely. And this article says a lot of them are funding. Because of how expensive it is to go to university and then there's the living costs and everything.

So most Australian university degrees cost about $10,000 a year just in tuition fees, but that's constantly going up. And the price of rent always on the increase, the price of living also going up. And the price of rent always on the increase. The price of living also going up. I mean, my dad wouldn't be stoked, but yeah. I can understand. Why? Because he can't afford one? No.

Or your mum wouldn't let him be one. Oh, if you were one. Yeah. I'd imagine he'd be more disappointed if he wasn't allowed one. Your mum was like, there's no room in the budget. He's like, well, you're costing a bit much. No, I mean, the kids have moved out. There's lots of spare rooms.

With a spare room, you go home and sugar baby's in your room. God, the only problem is he'd need you to sign him up and work the account. Yeah. He'd ring you, he's like, g'day, love, it's daddy. I'm having a problem with my sugar baby account. I want to change my profile picture. Can you just log on and do that? No, dad. I have to do his bloody Facebook. I'm having a problem with my Sugar Baby account. I want to change my profile picture. Can you just log on and do that? No, Dad.

I have to do his money Facebook. I'm not doing that too.