ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Megan Podcast - March 21 2019

Episode Date: March 20, 2019

We are having dinner at Megan's parents house tonight! the "Chugga Chugga Choo Choo" debate and what did you want to be when you grew up?See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

ZM. Hit music. Lives here. Fletch Warner Megan. The podcast. Thanks, Anya. Good morning. Welcome to the show, Fletch Warner Megan. The Disney-Fox merger officially happened. Very exciting for part of me. So now Family Guy is part of Disney. Are they going to have to tone down? Oh, I hadn't thought about all that. I was just more obsessed with the superhero movies and how in the comics and everything,

X-Men and Avengers are in the same universe and now they're going to be able to make movies with both characters. Oh, yeah, that'd be cool. Yeah, and Deadpool will be able to be joining that as well. But they're still keeping the news side of things. Yeah, because it's 21st century. Yeah. I was hoping they were going to buy them all

and then just shut down the right wing racist news. Oh no, they won't shut down the right wing racist news as long as it's making a lot of money. I can't see them shutting that down, no. Sadly. No. All right, you lot, listen up. It's story time.

All right, you lot, listen up. It's story time. All right, story time. I've got three news headlines. As usual, Vaughan and Megan, ponder the three headlines and decide which one we'll go into. Okay. Headline one, police attempting to round up suspects. Headline two, crowbar-w Unicorn, Rob's Convenience Store. And headline three, Cockroach One, Manil.

Is that Roundup? That's not like the weed spray. Try to Roundup Suspects. Do you have to weed spray them? I don't know, Megan. Maybe it is. Sometimes you're real, like you give I don't know, Megan. Maybe it is. Sometimes you're real, like, you give away things but not today. Not today. I'm not giving

away anything. I don't think I need another cockroach story because yesterday I was moving some things and outside and I picked up this, I don't know what this stuff is. It looked like linoleum. What it was doing out, I don't know. Lino. Do you mean lino? Like old flooring. Linoleum. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Like the stuff you'd run and skid on in your socks at mum and dad's house. And I picked it up and I was like, oh yeah, I shook it off and I went to chuck it in the bin. And then I was walking back from the bin and I was like, and I blew on my arm because I was like, something's on my arm. And then I turned my arm over and a very sizable cockroach was right on my elbow. And it was making a beeline for my sleeve. I was like, nothing ain't cockroach. And I flicked it off and then stomped on it. Did you see any slaters?

Yeah, heaps. Heaps of slaters. Oh, no, you don't see slaters until you really go looking for them these days. What do they do, eh? It's been a long time since I've seen a slater. Do slaters eat wood? Am I wrong in saying that? Or was it just that they always lived where wood was rotting because they always lived underneath?

They loved a rotting wooden home. Loved a stump. Loved a stump. Loved an untreated piece of non-tantalised wood lying on the ground. Loved it. So you don't want the cockroach story? No, I don't think so. The unicorn robbery, is that someone wearing a unicorn mask? No, I don't think so. The unicorn robbery.

Is that someone wearing a unicorn mask? The guy dresses as a unicorn. Okay, so we're going headline one then, are we? Yep. Round up suspects. Police attempting to round up suspects. And Megan, do you know what? You were on the money.

Yeah. Because a Grenville County nursery is closed until further notice after vandals sprayed chemicals all over its plant supplies. No. Employees arrived on Thursday to find a chemical sprayed on most of the plants at the nursery. The incident occurring sometime overnight. 15,000 plants were affected, costing around $150,000.

Where's the nearest nursery to him? I know, right? A nursery. Yeah. Oh, that's sad. The plant baby. And so hence, police are rounding up suspects.

Yeah, you got that one. Yeah. Although it doesn't say if it specifically was round up. Did you say they walk around just spraying? Or they put the spray, because you know at night

it comes on and it's like at the produce department of the supermarket. It keeps it a bit wet. Yeah. Moist so they a bit wet. Yeah. Moist so they'll grow. Yeah, no, so they, what they did is

they poured the chemical into a water tub used to feed the garden centre's water supply. Oh, that is so savage. You'd think that would be a competition nursery

or someone that's got a vendetta against them, like an ex-employee or... Who have we got in New Zealand? We've got Palmer's. Yep. We've got a few

sort of mum and dad nursery situations kings plant barn kings kings and palmers there would be big beef there because you know I always kill plants

I always go to palmers or kings yeah those are your two because they've got some great indoor plants Megan and I have got lovely palmers out by our

we do we don't live together that makes it sound like we live together we live in the same ish area we've got lovely palmers, don't we, Megan? Yeah.

I used to, because my mum always used to go to the garden store, and I'd be like, I'm not going to the garden store. I used to love the big flat trolleys. Yeah. She'd let you ride around, and you'd pull your brother in on the big flat bed trolleys. But mum would never let us get anything to eat at the cafe, because there's always a cafe out here.

We'd be like, mum, please. She'd be like, no, you don't need anything. We've got plenty of food at home. We're going there next. You were a big kid, though. I did love a muffin. You did love a muffin. I sure did.

Great news. Egg boy, as he has become known, the boy that egged Fraser Anning, the Queensland senator, who I'm guessing is not going to have a job after the next election. You know what? We'd hope so. He's been dismissed without conviction. No conviction for egg boy. He was going to get done for assault.

With an egg? Yeah, battery with a battery-heavy egg. People have been done with a salt. You can be charged with a salt if you tip a bucket of water over someone. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And that's harmless, unless you're candy floss. If you're made of candy floss, you've got bigger troubles than a bucket of water. Megan, you would take that tickle.

Took me a second, and then I was like, yeah, that's troublesome. The good news out of that, then, is that he won't need to pay any lawyers, I'm assuming, unless he did have to get a lawyer for that. Just to get that. Somebody would have done that pro bono, though, right? $71,000 on his GoFundMe, which means that will go to the victim's fund. Yeah, he said he was going to get that straightly redirected to the victims fund in New Zealand.

Initially, it was just for his legal fees and more eggs is all they started that with. And yeah, he came out and said, look, I'll... Yeah, I don't think they expected it to go quite as crazy as it did. No, and people even saw 38 minutes ago, somebody donated money. There would have also been something quite nice about him getting all that money and then because he didn't have legal fees, just buying heaps of eggs.

For sure. To be an egg boy. Or just egg packaging so he could stack it around and build himself a soundproof room that was also his egg cave. I saw a machine on Facebook the other day, and it was breaking eggs, and then the eggs were running down a chute. Into what? I don't know.

It was at like a factory, but it was like real mesmerizing. So they'd like tip all these egg trays into this machine, and then they'd just run down the chute. It would fall on like a, I guess, a point and break the egg open, and the yolk and the egg would just go bloop down the side. Where would the shells go?

Off and to the other side. How would it always get that right? The little bits of egg get stuck in the chute too? It just does. You know how you can buy egg whites in a pouch? Yeah, probably. Maybe it was, like, separating them down the line. Oh, yuck.

What? I don't want that. Egg whites in a pouch. Do you think there's also someone halfway down the chute with their finger trying to stop the little bits of shell? Like when you're making something and there's egg and you're trying to get it out with your finger and you're like. They reckon you're supposed to get it out with another bit of shell, eh?

Another bit of shell. I know that. Because your finger pushes it away. Yeah, but it sticks to the shell. Yeah. Right. That's the theory anyway, I mean, but you are running the risk of getting more egg shell in the egg mix.

Yeah. the risk of getting more eggshell in the egg mix. This is why I'm fat. This is why I'm fat. This is why I'm fat. This is why I'm fat. This is why I'm fat. We look at new foods. Introduce normally delicious sugary treats. New flavours of M&M's, for example. Yeah.

Well, we always have about 20 of those a year. Hot cross bun. Oh, I tried those for the first time. I liked. Did you like? I didn't like them. Oh, they're just cinnamony. Why is that?

It's weird. It's three different flavours. Like the Lamington one, there was like a jam and a... Yeah, marshmallow-y one and a coconut. But this one's cinnamony, a fruity... And a doughy one. Yeah, like a... A breedy...

Chocolatey Bready Situation I quite liked it No I wasn't a fan You're weird They ate like a handful Of them at a time

Now before the show When we were saying Well I said We should do this As this is why I'm fat This news story A new food item Which has launched overseas

Not here yet Caitlin said Oh well it's not That's not That's not gonna make you fat That's not gonna make you fat Because it's You said It's not. That's not going to make you fat. That's not going to make you fat. You said it's not going to make you fat because it's vegan. No, I did

not say that. I specifically said this is weird that you guys are going to do it as this is why I'm fat because this will not make you fat because you will not be eating it. Yeah, I just thought this is why I'm fat. It's usually something we want to eat. And copious amounts. And you guys are going to be like, ooh, yeah, whatever.

That's stupid. No, I'd try it. I'd try it. I would try it. I actually already eat them. Well, not this specific one. Well, McDonald's are launching vegan McNuggets. So instead of a chicken breast, the vegan version will reportedly be made using mashed potato,

which is blended with a mix of chickpeas, carrot, corn and onions. See that to me, that's a... That actually does sound yummy. That's a tatey like... A tater tot. A tatey bite. It's a rosti or it's a potato nugget, isn't it? Yeah.

I mean, it's got like chickpeas and stuff in it. Now they're currently being rolled out in Norway and they could make their way to New Zealand in the near future, they're saying, if they go down well. Okay. I'd definitely try them. But then are you allowed to get like vegan nuggies and chicken nuggies? Yeah.

Because then it's like your veggies and your... And your chicken and your protein and your veggies in one handy small mouthful. Yeah, you can have meat and three veg on one plate with a few nuggies. According to the story, there's a recipe website, Chef's Pencil. Never heard of it. Have you ever used that? No.

They looked at vegan-related Google searches in any language last year and per head of population, Kiwis are the third keenest in the world to find out about veganism. We're also the third fattest. We're always just behind Mexico and the US. That's why we're like, now how do we get skinnier? Deep frying things. Deep fried potato.

Deep fried soy cheese. I'm in. But yeah, it doesn't always work, does it? So vegan nuggies. They've launched in Norway and who knows, right? What about their dipping sauces? Well, I'm assuming you just get your normal sort of a meaty gravy. A meaty.

Big fat. A faux meaty gravy sauce. That would be. I'm assuming you just use the normal sauces that you get for your other nuggies. Your barbecue, your sweet and sour. Are they vegan though? Is barbecue sauce vegan? It feels meaty.

Probably just because we're used to having it with meat, but it's more, it'll be some other product involved in it. Mate, actually, I mean, good question. I can't answer that. Yeah. I can. Barbecue's vegan. I went to this place yesterday and I had a vegan hamburger

with vegan bacon and then some fries in it. It had barbecue sauce in it. Yeah, but that's their barbecue sauce. Oh, here we go. McDonalds.com. Frequently asked questions. Is the barbecue sauce suitable for vegans? Loading. Loading.

Still loading. I can see it loading on your screen. Do they use Heinz? Because I think I found one that says Heinz barbecue sauce suggests the ingredients suggest it's vegan. I don't mind going meat-free renowned again, but this is why life's too hard as it is. You have to Google it. Everything you eat. So the smoky barbecue dip contains honey and therefore is not suitable for vegans.

But lots of vegans eat honey. Like my friend that's been vegan for years, she eats honey. Fake vegan. Fake vegan. And she's eating the product of bee slaves. No, they love giving me honey. We've been through this. It doesn't matter if they love giving it.

Did you ask them? Cows love giving their milk. Yeah, bee slaves. Because otherwise they get sore boobies and you wouldn't drink milk. You're free. They cows love giving their milk to their calves. I'm not getting into this because I'm not proper vegan, but... This is why I'm saying it's too hard.

It gets people wound up and angry. Too hard. Well, and hungry. Fat. This is why. Fat. This is why. This is why.

This is why. Fat. From the ZM Think Tank, this is the top six. Hello there. Cardi B is going to be in a movie. It also stars J-Lo, Constance Wu from Crazy Rich Asians. Who I also believe, did you know the mum from Crazy Rich Asians was also one of the main characters in Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon?

I did not know that. Neither did I until I saw a thing about Crazy Rich Asians on the internet and I was like you might recognise her from Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon. I was like, oh my God. Oh my God. So Cardi B's just riding fame

to the next stage where she's going to be in a movie. So it's about strippers, and they try to get back at some Wall Street bankers. Right. Some Wall Street bankers that have done them wrong. So the top six movie quotes that would have been better with Cardi B and them using Cardi B saying, This is proving very difficult. I thought this would be easy.

It wasn't easy. Top six movie quotes. And number six from Austin Powers. Dr. Evil. In exactly five days, ladies and gentlemen, we'll be 100 million

dollars richer. Which is my version of her laugh. So for our number five on the list of the top six movie quotes that would have been better with Cardi B, from Little Miss Sunshine, when she's talking to her daughter about how she doesn't look like the other beauty contestants. It's really sad. The saying that would have been better with Cardi B,

and it's, oh, to be skinny. It's really sad. The saying that would have been better with Cardi B in it, it's okurr to be skinny. It's okurr to be fat. If that's what you want to be, whatever you want, that's okurr. That was our... They're only getting more of a stretch from here. From Shrek 2. Yeah.

Where Puss in Boots is introducing himself. Puss in Boots is a... I Where Puss in Boots is introducing himself. Puss in Boots is a I. And Puss in Boots. Meow. That was really good. Meow. And then number three in the top six movie quotes that would have been better from Cardi B is

in Die Hard where Hans Gruber's been thrown off the building. Yep, okay. Rather than the standard, it would be more of a which is the capital letter version of the one prior to this. Right. Number two is from The Wizard of Oz. Okay.

Famously when the witch is saying that she's going to get revenge on Dorothy. Okay. She says, I'll get you, my pretty, and your little dog too. That was judged the most famous movie laugh of all time, by the way. Really?

That's why I just Googled movies with laughs in them. There was a few, but that one was... And finally fromuri Maguire, number one on today's top six movie quotes, it would have been better with Katie B in it, when Juri Maguire's on the phone to whoever Cupid Gooding Jr. played in that movie. And it is, show me the shmoney! That's what she says instead of money.

If this top six has proven nothing else to you It's that I am still very, very Caucasian That is today's top six So tomorrow marks a week Since the horrible tragedy in New Zealand And there is going to be a two minute silence So two minute silence is observed when horrible tragedy in New Zealand. And there is going to be a two-minute silence. So two-minute silence is observed when, you know, it's quite a massive tragedy as it is.

So two minutes over the usual one minute. And I remember when we did this after the Christchurch earthquake on radio and it was silence, wasn't it? Yeah. Yeah, and that was unlike anything we'd experienced. All radio stations went silent. TV stations are going silent. I'm assuming the same will happen. There may be some music, like some, I'm not sure how.

It went completely silent last time. Yeah. And TVs had pictures, but no. But then also, like, have they, because I heard it might be, there might be a prayer broadcast. Okay. A call to prayer. A call to prayer. So maybe that will play. I heard there might be a prayer broadcast. Okay. A call to prayer. A call to prayer.

So maybe that will play. I'm not too sure exactly. Or maybe afterwards. The details, we don't know what time exactly just yet, but it is going to happen tomorrow. And there are lots of vigils and remembrance ceremonies happening around the country. So I'm going to run through a few of these for you. Wellington Civic Square, that is happening today, 6pm to 8.30pm.

It's hosted by Victoria University's branch of Amnesty International. So yeah, Wellington Civic Square, 6pm today. That basin reserve turnout, wasn't that just incredible to see? Oh, that was incredible. Because that was meant to be at the Civic Square as well. But it got too big, didn't it? Changed it last minute.

And just to see like that shot of just everyone packing out the basin. Yeah. Wow. And that's happening for a few of these where they originally planned it, they having to move just because of how many people are planning to go along. So Forsyth Bar Stadium, Dunedin, that's today, 7pm. Okay. And nationwide on Friday, of course, there's the two-minute silence.

Auckland Domain, Friday, 6-7pm. Now, that's one that's had to be moved because the Facebook event has said over 4,500 people are planning on attending that. And I'd say there'd be more who just haven't clicked attend on Facebook. North Hagley Park, Christchurch, Saturday, that will be at 10 a.m. There is a Facebook event for that one as well. And then again on Sunday, North Hagley Park, Sunday, 5 p.m. till 7 p.m. Now, yeah, most of these have Facebook events,

so I'm sure if you need to, you can search them on Facebook for the one nearest to you. And NZ Herald as well have the full list of where you can go along and pay your respects at those services, those memorials. Yeah. Damn. Now, I know I'm going to run the risk of really upsetting Fletch here.

Okay. Megan, you'll be fine with this because you're a understanding person. But on the way to the airport today, because we're going to Nelson, we need to take a slight 10, 15, 20 minute detour. Why do you always do this?

Why are you always shocked? No, the last time it's like, oh, we need to just, before we go to the airport, we just need to go back to my house and pick up my bag that I left there. Do you, you're lucky. Do you see Megan and I have already got our bags here at work.

My bag's in the car. Yeah, you're lucky, Fletch, because Vaughn gave me a ride into work this morning and he's like, oh, whoopsies, I've forgotten my wallet. But that's all right, because my ultimatum is going to be, I found it. Okay. But I was going to be like,

well, the ultimatum is we drive to my house and get it or Fletch looks after me for 24 hours. You are so stressful to travel with. They call the flight. They're like, it's boarding now at gate whatever. And you're on a sprint. You're Usain Bolting straight to the plane. I'm in the middle.

Vaughn likes to wait until names are called, like until we literally get our names called. Oh, so well, you guys, thank you for the personal invitation. I shall board the plane. As soon as it boards, you're like, we all have to run to line up. And then we stand there lining up for ages. I'm like, just give it a beat. You've got to get your bag up to the overhead locker before someone with a huge giant bag takes up the...

You're both stressful to travel with because one of you is just so casual and the other is super stressful. You'll give me a heart attack, Vaughn, honestly. You'll give me a heart attack one day. So the reason we need to take a little bit of a detour is that we need to go and meet these two. Okay? I'm going to turn around and show you. Oh, no. This is Harold and Helen.

I knew it was going to be you. It was going to be. They're goats and they're coming to live at my house. Oh, my God. They're at an animal shelter. Wait, are they real? Yeah, look. Oh, I thought they were like the Morrinsville cows.

No, no, they're real goats. Look. That's Harold. Oh. And there's Helen. Wait, so you want us to maybe miss our chicken at the airport? We're not going to miss our chicken. We're going to have heaps of time.

Look at these cute little goats. But where are the goats on the way to the airport? They're at an animal shelter They're beautiful In South Auckland And so we're having them at our We're going to adopt them And have them at our house And they're going to eat weeds and grass

And such But wouldn't someone get a goat for Christmas And didn't want to? No We will ask today the questions As to the origins of Harold and Helen They look beautiful Who I just showed Fletch and Megan a video of's just go and pat them when you've got them.

We don't need to go today. No, I need to go and see them. I've already checked us in online, but we've got a bag drop. I know, I went to check in yesterday and it says you've already checked in straight away. I checked us all in. Thank you. You put me in a crappy seat, didn't you?

Sometimes I like to put Megan right down the back of the plane just to show her who's in charge here. No, but we're going on one of those planes that loads from the back, eh? Yeah.

So I learned that mistake recently. I was like, well, I'll sit right at the front, but then that's the last person to get off. Awful. Yeah.

But we're not taking the goats. Are we going, are we doing the details? I do have a reputation of travelling with one. This is, no, we're not taking them. You made the mistake of asking Fletch. He's riding with you.

Just go there. He's got no choice. When we go past that turn off, I can already hear the... I'll make that audible noise. I'm not happy, but I'm going along with it. We'd love to now talk about stupid things you remember from school that you've just never used because I found a list of

absolutely useless things you were taught in school Parents are going to love me for this chat this morning Haikus? No, we've definitely used haikus on this show How dare you? You need to know how to write a haiku How do's what it's five syllables

seven syllables five more syllables yep because then i was always really bad at syllables at school right because they were like our syllables every time it's like you just clap nah again Vaughn yeah Vaughn was always one Vaughn Vaughn Vaughn Vaughn

Vaughn but like Fletcher Alphabet that would be three Alphabet but see I could go Alphabet

and that would only be two claps oh Vaughn that's real sad I know and they'd be like my name is Vaughn my Oh, Vaughan, that's real sad. I know. And they'd be like, my name is Vaughan. My name is Vaughan and I like cats.

Yeah. Most of those were actually right because you went hard on the one syllable words. I did too, yeah. My name is Vaughan and I like cats. My name is Vaughan and I am no good at clapping out loud. I'm glad we're all having a laugh, but I always got... Oh, bless. Alligator. Hippopotamus.

One clap. I can see it's a hard mistake to make. Just stupid. So here's a few things that you were taught at school that are just completely useless. So, so katoa. That was angle stuff,

right? Is that for triangles? That was sin, cos, tan, and it was what you teamed up with sin, the adjacent angle or a saw mat.

I'd like to say I was taught that in school. I mean, I was there when it happened. It looks familiar to me. But I didn't retain the knowledge to never use again. What else

is useless? Speaking of maths, prime numbers. I don't know what that is. The number that can only be divided by itself in one. It can't be like 11. 11 can't be divided by 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7 and make a whole number as a divisible. You know what I'm saying?

6 can be divided by three and two. Bad example. Prime is on six on my TV. That's the only prime number I know. So I don't need anything else. I don't get why we have to, oh, that's great. They can't be divisible by any other number other than themselves.

I'm like, who cares? Big dealio. Yeah. Yeah, okay. I mean, there's like a competition now in the world where if you can find a new prime number, you get some money. Oh, okay.

But they are like 80 or 90 numbers long. Right, okay. Which is insane. What's the point? Sounds too high. What else is on your list? Learning how to make dioramas. What's a diorama?

I feel like that's an American thing. Right. But that was like a little scene. Yeah. Oh, okay. Like you think sand, remember sand gardens? Yeah. But a bit large scale. This is one that I remember doing, making potato batteries. Because remember the starch in it carried the electricity

and then you put the wires into it and the light went. But did it generate? No, we were too poor at school to have potatoes. Let alone bloody wires. And those crocodile clips. And you clip them on and then the light goes. Your tag goes on somebody's school jersey

and they'd walk out of science class with something dragging behind them. That was always pretty neat. Mastering long division oh long division short division I don't even know

yeah we've got calculators now multiplications or learning how to play the recorder yeah like what is

any instrument really was it to see like if you're interested in music it must have been torture for teachers oh yeah imagine the torturous

like I got three blind months Three blind months. Three blind months. I'll never forget I got told not to... I got told to stop playing the recorder. Ouch. Did anybody else get told? Bad, but...

No. Oh. Also, did you hear my recorder? That was actually really good. Thank you. Do it again. Oh, no, not as good this time oh go a bit higher it's going to be real breathy but people's dogs are going off

uh reciting the periodic tables on there. Oh, yeah. Hydrogen, helium, lithium, beryllium, boron, carbon dioxide. So you don't need that these days, do you? No, I'm absolutely pointless. No. And finding metaphors in books. You spend ages in English finding the metaphor.

Do you do that in your book club, Caitlin? Do you when you're having your shardies after you've read a book? What's the metaphor? All right, everybody, let's find the metaphor in this book. What's the metaphor again? How do you explain a metaphor? Poetic comparison, right? A simile is using like or as, a metaphor is comparing it to.

Doing it poetically without using like and as. I don't even know what a metaphor is. You would say a simile would be like, the morning was like porridge, which is a stupid simile. But metaphorically, you'd say the porridge-y morning. Right. Right? Is that right? I don't know.

We're really upsetting a bunch of teachers today. They're like, please, you're misinforming the children of metaphors. And this is the point. This is what we wanted to ask you this morning. We want to know the stupid things you remember from school but don't use. I remember how to find the gene if you're going to have blue or brown eyes. You know what's recessive and what's dominant. Chromosomes.

And you don't know how to find the gene. I want to say that your school... No, I'm just on a table. You didn't have a micro telescope that you could zoom in on the genome and be like, there it is. No, if you have blue eyes and you... The recessive gene chart. Yeah, I it is. No, if you have blue eyes and you, I was going to say mate. The recessive gene chart. Yeah, I know that.

I've never used that before. You will? You know the recessive gene chart. Just for blue eyes and brown eyes. Right, okay. Because blue eyes is recessive. But it's like one in four, isn't it? If the brown eyes person is a double dominant gene.

And then if the blue eyed one is because you can have big B little B or you can have small B small B can you have big B big B yeah and you can have

big B little B oh god now see I don't think we do know how that works at all alright because when Indy our oldest daughter

has got blue eyes and we were like how does that work like her grandparents had blue eyes. What colour are your eyes? Well, they were the little Bs and you're the big B. Am I the big B? Or a C.

I am a big old C. I got called that yesterday, actually. A big C. So 0800-DARLS-IT-M-9696. What do you remember from school that you've absolutely had no use for? Never used it. So we found a list of things you learn at school, most people learn at school

that you don't use to this day. And we're asking you what you remember learning at school that to this day you... Have never used. No. But it's there. You know, you're an adult now and it's still there. It's a waste of time. Yes. They're not happy. The English teachers? Teachers are. That you stuffed up the metaphors? Teachers aren't Yes. They're not happy. The English teachers?

Teachers are. That you stuffed up the metaphors? Teachers aren't happy. They are. Oh, no, I haven't heard from anybody about the metaphor situation. I don't know if I was wrong with the porridge-y morning versus the morning was like porridge. Okay, terrible, terrible metaphor, and I can't even guarantee it is a metaphor.

But we're talking about what you learn in school that you can remember but plays no part in your daily life. Somebody said velocity equals distance divided by time. That's how you work out your average speed. Is that right? But that's quite handy. When is it handy? If you had to get somewhere and you knew how long it took,

you'd be able to work out your average speed. Just Google Maps. It'll tell you. Yeah, and then it has the traffic and stuff as well. Which they couldn't teach you in school. Exactly. I remember there's some bakeries on the way too. It shows you on the map.

Yeah, you can put in bakery. Somebody said the Fibonacci sequence. What's that? That's the mathematical equation to nature's spiral. Like a shell. You know the spiral of, and like ferns and stuff come out in the Fibonacci sequence. They said 1, 1, 2,

3, 5, 8, 13, etc, etc. Utterly useless, still in my brain. We should have asked people what they do now. You know, like, for a job. Do they need the Fibonacci whatever it is? Fibonacci, whatever it is? Fibonacci. That's what we're also being told is that while we're saying none of these things come in handy, I'm an engineer.

I use all this stuff every day. Somebody said I'm an engineering geologist and I use Sokartor on a weekly basis to make sure hills don't fall on your houses. I know, but that might be another subject that he's like. When we're at school, they should have said, well, who wants to be a geology engineer at whatever? And I could have been like, no, and gone out to sign and done PE. But then you have the problem that, like August, Vaughan's daughter says she wants to be an elephant.

Or a rat catcher. Like, how are they going to specifically teach her that? Yeah, it's a good point. Sammy, what do you remember from school that's just there? Oh, I can I know how to order a kilo of peaches in French. Oh, go on. Well, excuse my accent, but it's a kilo de piche. A kilo de piche. Half of it is basically

English. A kilo de piche. You got is basically English A kilo of peaches You got it You got it Well as long as it's summer You know I'll never ever starve You won't go hungry And the peach is my favourite

But it has to be summer I can just imagine you In Paris Lost in the streets And all you know how to ask is For a kilo of peaches A kilo of peaches Oh the kilo of peaches

That and the time Don't you Yeah right I'll survive on Brilliant That's well it is time For a kilo of peaches. A kilo de peche. Oh, a kilo de peche. That and the time. Don't chew. Yeah, right. That's all I'll survive on. Brilliant. That's well and it's time for a kilo of peaches. Sammy, thank you for your call.

Some other text messages in. I remember that mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell. No, I didn't really go. I didn't take biology. I think I stopped science pretty quickly. Mrs. Green,

which was photosynthesis. Mrs. Green, which was photosynthesis. Mrs. Green was an acronym. I remember, what was the acronym? See, acronyms are only good if you can remember the words that they mean. Acronyms are only good if you've got memory function. Yeah. Another acronym, somebody said bed mass.

I remember bed mass from maths, but it hasn't helped them out. But it does help you out because there's those smug-ass Facebook posts that are like, only 2% of people will get the correct answer of this equation. And you've got to do the multiplication before you do the addition.

Yeah. And the brackets. I always just see someone that's answered it correctly and copy and paste theirs into the comments. No, they could be wrong. Oh, yeah, true. Do you know, I remember, I always know the difference between a stalagmite and a stalact could be wrong. Oh, yeah, true. Do you know, I remember, I always know the difference

between a stalagmite and a stalactite. Tight. You know that? Tight. You just called it tight. Stalactite. So you can't remember what they're called, but you know the difference.

You know the things in the line in the case that either go up or down. Which is which? Stalagmite, stalactite. Stalactite's the one on the top because it's got a T. Because it's got a hold on tight. Yeah.

No, it's stellic tights on top because it's like tights hanging down. Well, how do you remember it? I still remember it. Yeah. And they're formed by like lime juices.

Yeah, lime juices. And concave, do you remember concave and convex? No. That's easy. Concave is like you're going into a cave and convex is pointing out.

But what if they're going like, what if they're going down? What if they're flat? Sarah's with me on rock formations. You've got some great facts from school that you don't use now. Yeah, absolutely. So in fourth form science, my science teacher was teaching us about rock formations and me and my friends were kind of whinging about how we didn't really need to learn this sort of stuff.

When are we ever going to use this in real life? Classic, yeah. And he sort of stopped us and he said, Sam, one day you're going to be standing on the top of a mountain with the love of your life, and you'll be able to look him in the eyes and say, honey, we're standing on shift. And was he right?

I remember that. Have you ever done that? No, well, I was just telling my partner in the car about it, and, you know, he's the love of my life. So, yeah, honey, one day we'll stand on schist. What's a central Otago mountain with its, because that's where the schist is, eh? The central Otago's got a lot of schist. I don't remember much about where the schist is. Who? The central Otago's got a lot of schist I don't remember much about where the schist is

Who knew geology or geography teachers would be so romantic? Yeah, that's really poetic And that would have got like a teenage girl involved, right? Because they tied it back into a bit of romance Oh my god Okay, thanks you, Cool Sarah Oh, now I'm just looking at these different types of schist She doesn't want to be called out on identifying the wrong type of schist, does she?

I don't think her boyfriend's a geologist. Or what if he calls her out? Lots of things people knew from. Somebody said, I think it's weird you've got this far in without talking about Shakespeare. Couldn't agree with you more. What a load of tripe.

No, Shakespeare's beautiful. No, just wait till they remake it in a modern setting and then I'll absorb it. We didn't do that at school. We read that book about the rugby team that crashed in the Andes and had to eat each other. Oh, okay. So all that did in class was make you point out which kid you'd eat first, right? That's all we did.

We just started picking on people as to who would eat first. I know. No, but the fat kid put up a really good case. That it'd be a lot of fat and not a lot of meat You want to go for the muscly kid Welcome one, welcome all To the Fletch, Vaughan and Megan podcast Brought to you by Spark Get 4 gigs of bonus data on Spark's $49 prepaid value pack

Now, on with the podcast Pretty awesome Out of horrendous acts Often comes, you know Gives you a hope for humanity. And this last week, while it started with awful attacks in Christchurch that were a week tomorrow,

and there's vigils happening around the country, you can find a list of those at nzherald.co.nz. There's a lot of good stuff coming out of it. Unity and I think the kids, young people and children have really stolen the show when it comes to showing how to love unconditionally. Showing us the way. Yeah, showing us the way.

And a couple of those kids, Daniel and Emily, they are going to make paper dolls to represent every culture and nationality that call New Zealand home. And joining us on the phone is their mum, Jude. Good morning, Jude. Good morning, guys. You must be very proud phone is their mum, Jude. Good morning, Jude. Good morning, guys. You must be very proud of these two children of yours. Oh, yeah. I'm super proud of them. But they're just two dolls on the chain, really, at the

end of the day. So super proud of them. But then obviously it also reflects well on the fact that they have obviously not grown up around any prejudice towards any people of, you know, different colours and creeds and everything as well. I mean, absolutely. I mean, we sat probably like a lot of families around New Zealand last weekend. We sat down to chat with the kids about what happened

and try and make some sort of sense of it all. And, I mean, what came out of it is they wanted to do something that, you know, shows that doesn't define their New Zealand, which to them they see as a place of, you know, diversity and acceptance. So basically they want to do something that says we're all different and, hey, isn't that wonderful? So what have they done?

They've made paper dolls that represent different nationalities and are encouraging others to do the same. Yeah, they sort of started with their own little chain and then they thought, hey, wouldn't it be neat if we could get other people to make wallpaper dolls and make one giant long chain and, you know, represent a whole lot of cultures and ethnicities all together holding hands, basically.

So it's just a template that people can download and it's just really a cutout on paper. It's not like you're not making a huge doll, are you? No. No, so there's a template which you can find on educationcentral.co.nz as well as the post for the dress. You can either make your own.

They're, I think, 14 centimetres high and 9.5 centimetres long. And we looked up the world record for paper dolls and I think we'd need something like 45,000 to break the 4k world record but um I reckon uh keeping schools up for the challenge so schools preschools families anyone getting

wanting to get involved just needs to download the template and then send it to you guys you'll connect them all up yeah that's that's the thing we've already started last night we had the first batch in and we got busy with the sellotape and it's already pretty long. If you had one of those rolls, you know when you go to like a 21st and a country hall and there's those massive rolls of paper that they roll out onto the tables and sellotape it again

so they don't have to have a tablecloth. If you got like one of those exceptionally long rolls you could make a lot. Yeah, a lot. It'd be a lot of folding and some precision cutting, but yeah. Well, I grew up in Matamata with 21st and Town Hall, so I'm well familiar with the concept of that. Well, okay, I mean, so if there are any teachers listening now

or you're listening and you've got kids, it's, I guess, a good thing to go through as well with them. Yeah. Drawing all the different cultures and everything on there's a good way to explain to your kids. Yeah, I think that's been one of the things that's come out of it. I've heard from a lot of teachers that when they went back to school

on Monday that it was a difficult topic to broach and this was more of a slightly positive way of tackling some of the subjects that came out of it and dealing with inclusion and acceptance and diversity rather than focusing on the horror of what happened. All right.

Well, you can, because the idea is if you're a teacher or you're a parent, you can do this, send them in, and you can download the template. The address and everything is at educationcentral.co.nz. Jude, thank you so much for chatting to us this morning. Hey, thank you, guys. Thanks for us this morning. Hey, thank you guys. Thanks for getting behind it. After the show, we head to the airport,

slight detour, see some goats to the airport. Look at his stupid face. Look at his stupid angry little face. Vaughn's adopting some goats. And what,

you wanted to put a deposit down? Oh, I just want to go and like bag them. He wants to secure them. Secure the angry. Vaughan's adopting some goats. And what, you wanted to put a deposit down? Oh, I just want to go and like bag them. He wants to secure them. Secure the goats. Well, bring them up and tell them. No, I did, but I've got to pay the admin fee. We are going to Nelson today.

That's right. We'll get to the airport. Get on a plane. Go to Nelson. Broods are today performing their homecoming show. For those emergency service workers, the volunteers, everybody that helped out during the Tasman fires. Yeah. Now, we heard there was a chance for a meal at the Sellers family home.

This is Megan's mum and dad. So we put in the request that the long-talked-about chicken casserole is made. And initially, our request was denied. There was some pestering. This is my favourite meal that mum makes. So when you go home, she always has to make it. The recipe is something of folklore. It's been handed down.

Word has it. It's not even written down. It's all up here. Like the secret herbs and spices. Yeah. Formula for Coke. She won't tell you what's in it. No.

She won't tell you. Oh, yeah, because it's a casserole. It must be so hard to work out. No, you bloody wait. I'm sorry. I'm so jazzed for it. What's it topped with? Anyway, let's find out from the horse's mouth. I don't mean to call her a horse. Joining us on the phone, Megan's mum.

Steady. Ray Ray, steady on. Steady, I heard that. You'll get shit rolling cornies. That's what you'll get. That's what she always used to say when we were like, what's for dinner? She'd be like, roll and cornies. That's what you'll get. That's what you always used to say when we were like, what's for dinner? She'd be like, shit roll and cornies. Yeah. Vaughan will definitely get that.

Right. Now, so the famous chicken casserole, what, I know you don't want to give away your recipe, but is it nacho chips that are in? Yep, they're on the top. They're on the top? Yep. Nacho chips with cheese and then you bake it.

Now, is this something you invented? Because, you know, when you were parenting in the 80s and 90s, it was all about making a dollar go further and, you know, was this something that kind of just came together once and the family loved it and so you remembered how to make it? Well, no, actually it was a recipe that was handed down from Granny, you know, in the days where you had to be really frugal and it's got lots of, as you say,

spices and herbs and sauces and stuff, so I'm not going to tell you what it is. I'll have to kill you. You're telling me Granny had corn chips? No, I only did that extra because, you know, the kids to make it look kind of special on the top. The corn chips is

your addition to the chicken casserole. It's called titivating. Titivating. Yeah. For these kids that, I don't eat this and I don't eat that and I don't want this and I don't want that. You know, the kids today. Yeah. The kids today.

Of course, this is just only a modern problem of children not wanting to eat. Yeah, no. I've been out and I killed the chooks yesterday and I plucked them all. Yes. And they've cooked overnight, so they're all ready to go. So today I'll have my apron on and I'll be right into it. And I made the chocolate chippy biscuits for Fletcher. Yes, this is great.

I'm so excited. And my favourite part about coming around to your place is seeing the old photos of Megan that we can share on Instagram. And I put those away. I put those away, yeah. I was a threat of death if I left them out. Megan's worried

because she's invited us that there won't be enough for everybody. Oh, well, she doesn't have to have any, does she? You can have her piece. Yeah. I've made plenty.

She did two chickens this time around. Yeah, and I've got a special seat for James. Okay, if James is coming. James, are you excited about the chicken casserole? I am now. You weren't initially, were you?

I mean, I didn't really know what I was in for, but this sounds great. This is famed. It's not just any chicken casserole. Now, will you be wearing clothes tonight? Because we know that you're a nudist family. Do you wear clothes when guests come? Oh, not normally.

Are you putting in a request for it? I mean, I don't mind. I just wondered if it would be awkward at dinner. Oh, well, I'll have to think about that. It's a nice day, but it's a bit nippy. I just don't want you to be carrying the casserole to the table in a

titty fall on your head. Well, you don't want to burn your bits, do you? No, you want to be very careful. Did you just say that to Megan's mum? No. Have some respect. I had my apron on. Oh, good, good. That's clever.

That's good. She has great boobs too. Yeah. That's alright then. I'll be able to give you some tips on goats because we've had the goats. Have you? Yep. I'm a big fan of goats. Don't encourage him, Ray.

Well, we're looking forward to it and I tell you what, we will make sure that we Instagram story this. Not the recipe. No, not the recipe. No, not the recipe. No, not the recipe. We'll have to kill you if you... Another reason you have to wear clothes, because Instagram doesn't allow nudity.

Oh, OK. Righto then, I'll do that. OK. We'll see you later on. No way, can we bring anything? No, just James. Oh, Mum, now you're saying everything! Oh, no, James hasn't been here before.

See, James hasn't been here before. He doesn't know where to go, so he would be lost. He's got a girlfriend who's very lovely. The apple doesn't fall far from the tree in this family, though, does it? No, predatory. Very predatory. Okay, guys. Okay, bye.

We'll see you anon. Bye. Okay. Bye. All right, next on the show, the internet is divided over our childhood. And I think for this, we're going to need some people to call up. Some volunteers. Do you want to tell them why they're calling?

Because remember that time that we started talking about DuckDuckGoose and you went like blank and you'd never heard of DuckDuckGoose? Oh, yeah, because I'd never heard of duck duck goose. You'd never heard of duck duck goose? That's so weird. I know, but so I don't want anyone to get on air and be like, that wasn't part of my childhood. Okay, the internet is divided over chugga chugga choo choo. How many chugga chuggas do you put before your choo choo?

Chugga chugga chugga chugga chugga choo choo. I do four. That was three. Chugga chugga chugga chugga chugga chugga chugga chugga chugga chugga chugga chugga chugga chugga is that four chugga chugga chugga chugga chugga chugga chugga chugga chugga chugga chugga chugga it feels too many when you're going chugga chugga chugga chugga chugga chugga chugga chugga chugga chugga nah because you wouldn't do it every no yeah how is it breathing with swimming i think it's four chugga chuggas yeah or eight chuggas four chugga chuggas chugga chugg think it's four chugga chuggas.

Yeah, or eight chuggas. I think it's two. Chugga chugga chugga chugga choo choo. No, it's not enough chuggas. Chugga chugga chugga chugga choo choo. It's not enough chugga chuggas. You're releasing the pressure. The internet is the steam engine. Okay, if you're fake trained.

It might be fake, but it runs by the same physics. If you're releasing too much pressure, you're never going to get the steam out. So the internet is divided. Where do you stand on this? Let's get some volunteers. 0800 dial ZM and give us your chugga chugga choo choo because I think we need to settle this once and for all.

Ariana Grande, seven rings on ZM. Seven to eight. Choo choo. Chugga chugga chugga chugga choo choo. Chugga chugga chugga chugga chugga chugga chugga. Chugga-chugga-chugga-chugga-choo-choo. Chugga-chugga-chugga-chugga-chugga-chugga. Chugga-chugga-choo-choo. The internet divided over chugga-chugga-choo-choo. You know, the big issues at the moment.

Somebody did message in saying that they'd never heard of this. They've never heard of chugga-chugga-choo-choo. Is it like a game? What's the story? No. It's just when you're being a train. It's just when you're being a train. It's just when you're being a train. I mean, hello?

Well, you're not a train as a child. Yeah, you know, you do your arms around like a steam like a motor. And everyone's like on your train. So how many? The internet has divided how many chugga-chuggas. Now, when you say chugga-chugga, is that one or two? That's one. Chugga-chugga. That also would or two? That's one. Chugga-chugga.

That also would seem as the second part of division of the internet. Some people are saying, I say it eight times, but then they are saying four lots of dual chugga-chugga. Because you would never just go chugga-chugga, choo-choo. Because you'd chugga to choo-choo ratios out of whack. Chugga-chugga, choo-choo, choo-choo. You've always got to have more chuggas than you've got choo-choo. Yeah, because a chugga-chugga is,

but then some people are just doing a chugga-chugga, choo-choo. No, you don't count one as just a chugga-chugga-chugga-chugga-chugga-chugga-chugga-chugga-chugga-chugga-chugga-chugga-chugga-chugga-chugga-chugga-chugga-chugga-chugga-chugga-chugga-chugga-chugga-chugga-chugga-chugga-chugga-chugga-chugga-chugga-chugga-chugga-chugga-chugga-chugga-chugga-chugga-chugga-chugga-chugga-chugga-chugga-chugga-chugga-chugga-chugga-chugga-chugga-chugga-chugga-chugga-chugga-chugga-chugga-chugga-chugga-chugga-chugga-chugga-chugga-chugga-chugga-chugga-chugga-chugga-chugga-chugga-chugga-chugga-chugga-chugga-chugga-chugga-chugga-chugga-chugga-chugga-chugga-chugga-chugga-chugga-chugga-chugga-chugga-chugga-chugga-chugga-chugga-chugga-chugga-chugga-chugga-chugga-chugga-chugga-chugga-chugga-chugga-chugga-chugga-chugga-chugga-chugga-chugga, chugga, chugga, chugga, chugga, chugga, chugga, chugga. You're a train. Chugga, chugga, chugga, chugga, chugga, chugga, chugga, chugga. You were rolling four almost in groups of four there. So that was almost two lots of four rather than four lots of two. Because I go chugga, chugga. You've got to have enough chuggas to get somewhere. Yeah, you do.

You've got to get the train to speed before the choo-choo works. Chugga chugga, chugga chugga. Exactly. Yeah, okay. All right. Is it Nikhil? How many chugga chuggas? Nikhil?

No, we've lost Nikhil. I believe we might have lost him. Oh, no. Text messages? Yeah, I'm just replying to somebody Who Disagrees with you It's kind of a lot of chuggers And it's not working

Yeah there was one of those just before Somebody said two sets of dual chuggers So that would be four chuggers Chugga chugga chugga chugga choo choo Now that's where you're at right Yeah that's where I'm at Here's where it gets weird Someone said I'll do three chuggers

Then a choo choo Chugga chugga chugga choo choo No Chugga Chugga-chugga, chugga-choo-choo. No. Chugga-chugga, chugga-choo-choo. No. You can't go on and on about chuggas. Your train's faulty. No, they said three chuggas.

One and a half sets of dual chugga-chuggas. Oh, no. No, that train sounds a bit faulty. It's broken. It's broken. It needs to go to the maintenance yard. Chugga-chugga, chugga-chugga, chugga-chugga. No, too many chuggas.

Not enough chuggas. And someone said if we're to believe the Wiggles approach to chugga, chugga, it's toot, toot, chugga, chugga, big red car. But then the toot, toot takes one of the chugga, chugga, so it would be chugga, chugga, chugga, chugga, big red train. Why is the car chugga, chugging? He hasn't put oil in it. It's blind blue smoke.

He's on the motorway. You're following him. You're like, ooh. Wind the windows up. He hasn't put oil in it. It's blowing blue smoke. He's on the motorway. You're following him. You're like, ooh. Wind the windows up. He's not getting home. So what is the internet's most popular answer? Because I don't feel like

I've been... I can't find a definitive majority. Chugga-chugga-chugga-choo-choo. It sounds like it's four or eight depending on where you sit on how many... How do you count your chugga-chuggas?

Somebody's just straight up saying it's one chugga, one choo. No. Chugga chugga choo choo. That depends. Are you in a hurry? That's a real train in a hurry. That's real.

Chugga chugga choo choo, chugga chugga choo choo. If you're going to get involved in playing chugga chugga, you've got to give it the time and the energy. And also you're using your horn too much. Maybe in an area with a lot of level crossings, you'd need to be sounding your horn that many times. Also, steam locomotives aren't around anymore, are they? Kate, how many chugga chuggas?

Three sets. Three sets of two, so six in total. Yeah. Okay, can we hear your chugga chugga? Chugga chugga, chugga chugga, chugga chugga, choo choo. See, but before, who did we talk to before that did their chuggas in lots of four I quite liked hearing it in a group of four Yeah right but you don't like Kate's train

She felt like she rushed it Do you feel like you're rushing your trains fast Kate Or is it slow Yeah no maybe I'm just nervous Do you want to do it again Breathe relax take a deep breath And do it again I don't want you to go out on a bad note. Chugga-chugga, chugga-chugga, chugga-chugga, choo-choo.

Yeah, it sounded like a train getting up a hill there. Yeah, that was too slow. Shoot it up again. We'll line you up again. Go again. Do one more shot. Okay. One more shot at a time.

Okay. Chugga-chugga, chugga-chugga, chugga-chugga, choo-choo. Yeah, sounds like a chugga. You're picking up chugga. You're picking up there, Kate. I think we can leave it there on a high note. That's brilliant. Thank you, Kate.

Yes, someone texted and said, you know what, why can't everyone have their own custom chugga chuggas? You know, why do all the chugga chuggas have to be the same? And not be held to society's oppressive standards of chuggas. Jordan. Maybe that's the best part about this. Everyone's got an individual chugga chugga. How many chugga chuggas? You have to do three sets of four.

Okay, give us your chugga chuggas. something. I don't know. Rev it up a bit. Yeah. Chuck some coal in there. I don't know. Okay, well, I mean, it's just one of these things. Thanks, Jordan. We just agree to disagree. Somebody just said they're parked at the lights and heaps of people are chugger chugging and using the arms because you've got to use the arms, which is great. You've got to use the arms. Chugger, chugger, chugger, chugger. Use the arms.

And then they knocked on the window of the person next door and they went four and the person next door went four and nodded so there was some unification there. I'm a four. Two. Chugga-chugga, chugga-chugga. I've got places to be.

No, I can't change my chugga, but I want to be one of these people that rocks out four chuggas in a block rather than the standard two chuggas in a block. Yeah, okay. Well, maybe that's a work on. Chugga-chugga, chugga-chugga. Someone wants us to move on because they're trying to study and all they can think about is chuggers in a block rather than the standard two chuggers in a block. Yeah, okay. Well, maybe that's a work on. Chugga, chugga, chugga, chugga. Someone wants us to move on because they're trying to study

and all they can think about is chugga trains. Work it into your study. FF. Yesterday we talked around about this time that August, my four-year-old daughter,

had changed her mind. She was no longer going to be an elephant when she grew up. She was moving into the rat trapping game. Right, because you've been trying to catch rats around your house. Yeah, that's right.

They're eating all the fruit off the trees. So there was a rat. Yep. She didn't want to touch it. Didn't want to look at it. Yep. Didn't want to do anything. And I said, if you're a rat trapper, you've got to do this.

Yep. And she's like, I don't want to be a rat trapper anymore. So we're back to not knowing exactly where we're at career-wise. And then that's fine because I know plenty of people in, like, you know, their 20s that still don't know what they want to do. Yeah. So, you know, she's got time. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It takes people a while to figure out what they want to do sometimes. Well, 100%, yeah. Sometimes it takes two uni degrees. And $50,000 debt. And they're like, I don't want to do this at all. Yeah. Well, that's the thing because you're meant to change your job five or six times now, aren't you? What will we do? I don't know. We're screwed. Can we stay in the same industry but just change jobs? Oh, I guess so. Yeah. Okay. It's got three months off between the last one and this one.

So that's pretty sweet actually. I would suggest that someone wants us after this. Good call. Good call. good call. Well, they won't want you guys because everybody agrees with me over how many na-nas are before Batman. So, I mean, I've secured long-term employment in this industry. Yeah, right, okay. So, it got me thinking because people always say, well, what did you want to be? You know, if we get asked,

well, what did you want to do before you got into radio? I always wanted to do it. Oh, you never knew. I just didn't ever? I always wanted to do it. Oh, you never knew. I just didn't ever, I never had really any idea. Yeah, right. I can imagine you going into the guidance counsellor and being like, what's easiest? That's exactly how I ended up here. What's easiest?

Talking and pressing play. What's fun? Yeah, because school isn't. I'm pretty sure afterwards I want to do something that's fun. But what about before that? Did you ever have like, were you ever like, I want to be, I don't know. Wild dreams. I can't even remember wanting to be an astronaut.

You know, everybody, kids when you're like, I'd love to go to the moon. Yeah, but I imagine your mum would be like, we don't even have a NASA here. Stop being stupid. Grow up. Grow up. It's time to get rid of these childish dreams. You've turned six now. Get a job, you lazy bum.

A real job. Work hard like your father and his father before him. So, yeah, I don't. I can't remember having any wild dreams as a kid of what I wanted to be. I wanted to be a pop star, but then I wasn't great. Like, I wasn't very good at singing. So then I was like, well, I'll be a backup singer then. I love that you used to do the na-na-na.

Why would they not need to also be great singers? Well, I just thought if they were really good, they'd be at the front. Sometimes they're great singers, but they don't have the X factor, you know? Yeah, yeah. A lot of big singers have been backup singers earlier in their career, haven't they? Oh, and I wanted to deliver the milk at one point too because I was like, you get to play that music when milk got delivered to your house

and then you get to drive around and walk out in the sunshine and talk to everyone. It sounded like a dream. You wouldn't deliver milk in the sunshine though in case someone didn't take their milk in. That's why they always did it just before the sun went down, right? Yeah. That's why I was figured anyway went down right yeah that's why

I was figured anyway never asked didn't want to do that too much running yeah very lazy but we wanted to know

when you were a child and your dreams knew no limits unless you had a really realistic mother like me or Simon Cowell or Simon Cowell

as your dad what what did you want to be when you grew up when you were a kid yeah and how how is it different to what you're doing now? I mean, it doesn't matter what you're doing now, but yeah, maybe.

Ten points if you picked your career when you were like five and you actually do that. Because I feel like, because Indy wants to be a vet, doesn't she? I feel like that's a popular one, a vet. Because, you know, kids love animals. Because they think it's just playing with animals. And then you realise that cats scratch you and dogs bite you, and you're like, no. But then if they bite you, you can just put them down. There was nothing we could do.

Put them down on the floor so they don't bite you. There was nothing I could do. I had to put them down on the floor. 0800DARLS.M9696, you can text. What did you want to be when you grew up? And what are you doing now? Give us a call. We're talking about the wildest fantasies of employment you had in your youth.

When you were young and your dreams knew no bounds. What did you want to be? When you grew up. Some text messages in. That's pretty cute. Do you know what? The craziest thing is how many people said zookeeper when they were a kid? So seven people have text messages saying zookeeper.

Five of those people are now school teachers. Which technically is like a zoo. Yeah, just looking after the animals in the zoo. Trying to control the crazy animals. Natalie, what did you want to be when you grew up? I wanted to be a marine

biologist. To play with the dolphins and stuff. Pretty much, yeah. And play with the dolphins and stuff. Pretty much, yeah. Yeah, okay. And what do you do now? I'm an office administrator. So far away from the ocean. Yeah, well, we kind of,

we do marine electronics, so kind of, like, in the marine industry. Yeah, still got a toe in there. Like, yeah. It must be hard to do marine biology. It'd be hard, right? Isn't it?

In New Zealand, yeah. It's all bloody underwater, mate. You've got to hold your breath up. Hey, good luck putting a stethoscope on an alligator. Hey, Natalie, thanks for your call. Dean, what did you want to be when you were little? I wanted to be a checkout operator. Oh, I used to play supermarkets as well.

I was like, I'm going to have a supermarket one day. Really? Yeah. Oh, you hold on to that dream. That can still happen. I can see you running a little four square. I could. It's sort of a sunny beachside town. No one get the milk from that grumpy guy down at the four square. Yeah, it turns out, no, I don't like people.

I don't want to deal with people on the rig. And like, you'd walk in and be like, bing bong. You'd be like, what do you want? So, Dean, what do you do now? I'm a physio. Actually, just while you're here, Vaughan's got a sore neck. I went to store a physio yesterday, buddy. Yeah, if you've got any additional, you know.

Hey, Dean, thanks for your call. Jazz. Actually, sorry. Was it Caitlin? Was that Deanne or Dean? Deanne That's how I wrote you in the thing No, you wrote Dean No, I didn't

She's gone I'm so sorry, Deanne for calling you Dean It won't be the first time No, I just thought that was a real cool name for a girl Yeah I thought Dean was cool

Don't like to assume Yeah, no, very true Sorry, Jazz, now what did you want to be when you grew up? I wanted to be a bridal boutique for plus-size women.

Oh, wow. How old were you when you had this? That's very progressive. Yeah. I was seven. I was seven when I decided

that I wanted to do that watching my auntie get married and I pretty much, I had the exact same situation as 27 Dresses, where it starts off with the little girl holding her auntie's dress going down the aisle. And I had the exact same moment when I was seven. So I wanted to do it because she was a plus size auntie and she had to import it and had so many problems. Oh, you're like, this isn't fair.

Yeah. It was very entrepreneurial of you as a child. I know. So what do you do now? I'm a painter. Oh. Well, there's still, you can still. I can still hear the passion in your voice for the symmetry.

Oh, yeah, definitely. I think there's still time, but, you know, painting's good now. It kind of gets me creative, and at least with painting, I can be like, oh, I could put a dash of paint on a lovely dress and make it look like a little tile piece boutique for plus-size women. Nice. Do it. Do it.

It's never too late, is it? All right, Jess, thanks for your call. Some text messages. Thanks, Jess. I wanted to be Judy Bailey. That's the news. They didn't want to be news.

They just wanted to be Judy Bailey. They just wanted to be her. Okay. I wanted to be a spy school. I'm now an early childhood teacher. Still can't sing, but still try. Kids don't judge.

Well, you could be posh. She can't sing either. Oh, yeah. I thought you were going to say, posh isn't an early childhood teacher. Oh, no. Time's tough for the Beckham. She's had to either. Oh, yeah. I thought you were going to say, Posh isn't an early childhood teacher. Oh, no.

Well, the time's tough for the Beckhams. She's had to go back to having a job. I wanted to be a firefighter, but now I'm a legal secretary for a criminal lawyer. I guess you could say I'm still helping people, just a different kind of heat. Good from you. Good from you.

I wanted to be a midwife Ever since I was Like a toddler In year 11 So Second Third to last year of school If you're gonna go All the way through We watched a birthing video

I had no idea So much blood was involved I vomited and passed out So not a midwife No Passed on that Passed on that Wow that's

Yeah that's intense Um Somebody else said I wanted to own an ice cream shop. Okay. And now I work at BK and I'm in charge of the Sunday machine. So I guess you could say dreams do come true. Yes.

To be able to control. Say if you're working at McDonald's or BK or anywhere with a soft serve machine and by some miracle it's actually working. Are you allowed to sort of like dish out, like if you see someone, you're like, you're a bit of all right. Are you allowed to give them a bigger soft serve? Oh, absolutely. Totally.

I think you're going to say, are you allowed to, when no one's looking, put your mouth under it and just squeeze it in. I don't think you're allowed to, but that's what you do when no one's looking. It's only bad if you get caught. Yeah, that's great flirting, actually. Like a bigger one for you and a wink. And a flake, free flake.

Do they chuck a flake in those? Yeah, do, do we. I mean, if you want to lose your job over a girl that you've got no chance with. Hey, that is Vaughan Smith through and through, my friend. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Today's fact of the day is about gulls, seagulls. Birds.

Yep. The type of bird. Now, we probably only really see seagulls eating the odd chip that will get chucked their way, rubbish out of a bin, or at the dump. You don't really ever see seagulls going for worms, do you? No, but I don't want to ruin your fact today, but remember that time I saw a seagull at another bird? It was eating another bird.

A pigeon. Yeah. It was horrific. That works both ways. I've seen a pigeon Pecking at the carcass Of a fellow dead bird I've seen a poo kicker Tear apart a duckling It's a rough world out there

Ladies and gentlemen You just think they eat chips And then your world Comes crashing down Bread Yeah You know that poo kicker You know that

Remember the ad Where the poo kickers Walked around And would turn on All the light switches Oh yeah Cheeky birds Yeah

They were only living In that house Because they'd murdered The family that lived there before. That's what Meridian didn't tell you. Yeah. How do you think a poo kicker signed up for a power bill? It didn't.

They just hadn't shut the power off from the last people that lived there who had been murdered by Pooh Kekul. Okay, that's the truth behind that one. I think we can get that out there. But gulls will dance on the surface of the earth. Yeah. Like this. Yeah, you see them doing that.

Yeah. Do you know why they're doing it? They're doing that with their feet. They're tape dancing. They are mimicking heavy rain, so earthworms instinctively rise to the surface so they don't drown in their underground burrows. You know how whenever it rains or...

You know when you were a kid and you'd have a slip and slide? And at the end of the slip and slide, there'd be like worms and you'd be like, wee, and you'd slide off the end and you'd be like, destroying worm houses. After rain, I used to go and collect worms off the footpath and put them back in the grass. That's nice of you.

Oh, yeah, because anything worse than a dried out. Because no, I don't like them to dry out in the sun. Dried out worm. That's so sad. So they dance to mimic rain, so the earthworms come up to the surface. They stick their head out. They're like, it's not rain.

Oh, tricked you. Yum, yum, yum, yum. That's quite smart. I've got to imagine if we could do that as humans, just mimic and some Ferrero Rochers popped out of the ground of course Ferrero Rochers always come to the surface

during rain because they don't want to drown in their burrows I was thinking you were going to say like a nice trout or something

is there some way to attract them tap on the surface of the water and the trout come up they're like hello I'm going to just dance on the lawn

why hasn't a Ferrero Rocher popped up yuck one's popped up but it's not Tap on the surface of the water and the trout come up. They're like, hello. I'm going to just dance on the lawn. Why hasn't a Ferrero Rocher popped up? A yuck one's popped up, but it's not in its wrapper. That's how they live naturally. They're not touching it. It's dirty. Poke it back in. I don't want it.

So today's fact of the day is that gulls will do a dance to mimic heavy rain so that earthworms come up so they can eat them. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Joined in studio by Nathaniel Roach and David Fusatua from The Warriors. Good morning, lads. Morning. Can I just say, I'm loving The Warriors' 25th season. The callback to the original colours. Yeah, they're real cool. I like them too.

Were you guys even alive 25 years ago? How old are you? Oh, wait, actually, I'm turning 25 this year. So when The Warriors first played at the start of the season you weren't around what about you? What year was it?

1995 Nah I was born in 96 Wow I won't say how I went to one of their games in the first season but you would have

been a teenager as well though Oh I don't know a couple of years ago No it's great ago no it's great the colours

it's so it's retro it's so retro and it's working as well because with

one game one victory that's 100% lads I don't want to say it it's our

year don't start with that it's every Warriors fan reaction after an initial first win. It's going to happen this year. This year's our year. So not this weekend, but next weekend you've got a game in Christchurch. Is that counted as a home game for you guys or is it a home game?

No, I think that's a home game for the Seagulls. Right. Yeah, because if it's played in New Zealand but outside of Auckland, it's generally for some reason. I think you have to play at least one home game away from your home. Oh, okay, right. So we usually have our one in Perth.

Okay, well, half of them in New Zealand is working in mines anyway. No shortage of people to come down and support you guys. So how do you think that's going to be, given what Christchurch went through a week ago? No, it's definitely going to be a lot of emotion around the squad. There even was, just in the game, just gone. So hopefully we get to go out and do what we can to help out

and see families and things like that. How is it playing? Like last weekend, it was so close after what had happened. It was the day after the events in Christchurch. Sports important. It gives a lot of New Zealanders an escape. You know, maybe for a moment took people's mind off the horrific events. But, I mean, you guys have got to be out there

and you obviously have got to get in the space. But how do you do that concentrate on the game and shut out the surroundings like you said there was a lot of emotion between all the boys when we were there the day before at Sky City you know with it being all over the news but I guess we all

came together had a bit of a talk and tried to use our platform and that data to spread some positive vibes and put a smile on people's faces. And lucky enough, we were able to do that. What was it? What was it? Absolute hiding. 40 to 6.

So, David, you did the prayer beforehand. How was that emotionally? Yeah, it felt really heavy in the room. Obviously, it was just like hours after everything had happened. So we just really thought it would be good just to come together as a team and just say a few words. We have a few players from Australia in that, but at the moment, this is their home,

and it affects everyone in a different way. So I feel like it was a good space to just kind of clear the air and say a prayer for everyone that was affected. Alright, well back at home on the 5th of April taking on the Titans. You can get tickets from Ticketmaster. Thanks so much for coming

in guys. Broods, Peach are playing tonight in Nelson for the homecoming tour. Thank you as well to Air New Zealand that are getting them there over early from LA for that show tonight. For all of those affected with the Tasman fires and those that helped out. Now, it was a year

ago today. Oh, I can't believe it was a year ago. That year's absolutely flown by. Yeah. It was a year ago today. We were in Christchurch and we were putting a rugby ball on a tee and we were trying to

kick it over some goalposts. I'm pretty good at sports stuff. I know you are. But we were down there for the last conversion before the stadium. Are you alright? You had a stroke. I can't remember what the stadium was called. alright? Have you had a stroke?

I can't remember what the stadium was called. Lancaster. Carisbrook. Lancaster Park. Where was Carisbrook? That was the name. That's gone. That's gone as well. That was the thing I was getting my now demolished parks confused. I heard just the other day they've made some great ground on that because it was going to take forever

to, you know, finally take it down. Yeah. But a year ago today in the Overgrown Stadium, one of us kicked the last conversion. Do you remember who it was? I do. Oh, I don't know, but this audio will probably tell us, right? Okay. Come on, mate. Here he goes for the last

conversion at Lancaster. Really nervous! I know, right? Use those big muscles. He's lying. Sorry. Stop talking. Sorry. Bit of silence now. Here we go. He's lying. Sorry. Stop talking. Sorry. Bit of silence now. Here we go. He's stepping in. He's done it! He's done it! He's converted Atlanta, Kester!

He's converted! He's defied the odds! He's the 17% of people! Said he could do it! He's done it! Yeah! He's done it! To all the haters! To all the people that don't like Cher! I did it! That's right. Your entry song was Cher. That's done it. To all the haters. He's done it. To all the people that don't like Cher. I did it. That's right. Your entry song was Cher.

That's right. We had an entry song to amp us up to when we came into the stadium. Mine was Cher, believe. But, you know, it was great. And do you remember Dan Carter's dad helped us out as well? Yeah. With some tips the day before? Yeah, that's right.

Great time. Great little send. Dan Carter's goalpost at his dad's house. That was special. And that was a year ago today. Wow. send. Dan Carter's goalpost at his dad's house. That was special. And that was a year ago today. Incredible.