ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Megan Podcast - March 25 2019

Episode Date: March 24, 2019

An update on Vaughan's rash, we finally find out the secret ingredients in Rae Rae's chicken casserole and your inappropriate school productions.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

ZM. Head music lives here. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. Thanks, Anya. Good morning. Welcome to the show. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. I saw the five million signatures for the EU petition. Really? Just stay in? Well, no, just to... Kick them out.

Well, to have another... To burn it all down. Have another referendum or just to... Kick them out. Well, to have another... To burn it all down. To have another referendum or just to not leave. Yeah. Because they had a huge, as you mentioned in the news, a huge protest. Yeah, I saw that protest. Did you see some of the banners?

Some are very British. So good. Very British. British humour. So very British. I think my favourite one was, it was like a portrait of Whitney Houston. It was, I will always love you. I will always love you. It was very a portrait of Whitney Houston. It was, I will always love you.

I will always love you. It was very well done. There's some funny banners. You have to roll through it. You do. You read it in your mind. You're like, ha. And then you go to tell someone about it later on the radio and you bugger up telling them about it.

And then they spend some time working out what exactly you meant. You got it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I will always love you. You. You. You. You got it. Gotcha. yeah, yeah. I've always loved you. You. You. You. Right.

You got it. Gotcha. I'm with you now. Close enough. I'm with you now. All right, you lot. Listen up. It's story time.

Story time. I give Vaughan and Megan three news headlines that I've found from news sites around the world. News stories that are interesting, odd, unusual. Vaughan and Megan pick one of the following three headlines. Headline one. Hero suspended. Headline two. Police mocked.

And headline three. A dog tied up outside store not free. Oh, did someone take a dog from outside because they thought it was free? They did, yes. Well, that was their defence. No one actually believes they believe that No, especially when it's tied up with a collar and a lead Yeah And when it's a guide dog Are you kidding me?

I'm not cutting Megan, I'm not cutting The guide dogs are allowed in aren't they? Yeah, I don't know Oh no The guy dots are allowed in, aren't they? Just take them out. I don't know. I don't know. Oh, no. One. I've forgotten what one was. Hero suspended or police mopped. Those are the two.

I think one, hero suspended. Yeah, okay. Okay. All right. We go now to Port Richmond in Philadelphia. Morris German. Yeah. Or German. What would you say if your name was German? Spelt German. Yeah. Or German.

What would you say if your name was German, spelt German, would you say German? German. German. There's no A, it's no A-I-N at the end though. I've just put one of those things over an A. German. German.

He's a Verizon employee. He was in Port Richmond last weekend. He was doing his job. He works for, so Verizon's like, I don't know if you work for Spark. Yeah. It's a telco, isn't it? Yeah, it's a telco. So he was out and he had one of those trucks with the big bucket things on it

so they can get up to the power lines. Oh, yeah, yeah, cherry picker. Yeah, like a cherry picker on the back of his truck. And someone came up to him and said, hey, look, mister, my kitty cat, Mama the Cat. Mama the Cat. Mama the Cat. Mama the Cat is on top, on the very top of this pole, power pole. The tippy top cat.

The tippy top. And it's just sitting there. And so this guy's like, well, look, you've got a bucketty thing on the back of your truck. Look, Mummy Kitty Cat, top, top. Buckety bucket thingy. You've got a bucketty bucket. Do you reckon you could just, you know, whip up and get mum of the cat? And he's like, well, of course I've got a buckety bucket.

Yeah, yeah, up I go. I'll just whip up and I'll get it. And so he did this. The cat had been stuck up there for 12 hours. No one was injured in the rescue. But after this appeared on social media, Verizon suspended Maurice for three weeks. Oh, work all without pay.

That doesn't say actually. I'd be really down for a three week paid suspension. Well, if it was paid, for sure. The company apparently said it takes no joy in the punishment, but it does say that they're committed and responsible for keeping the employees and customers safe while working and that the technician wasn't allowed to use the bucket in that area because it was too dangerous. Oh, no one got hurt. No one got, I know.

I mean, give them a warning. Say, hey, mate, you've got to be really careful with that bucket. Don't be rescuing kitty cats from up tippy tops. The thing is, it's America. So if he'd,

you know, stuffed something up, they would have been sued up the yin yang. Oh, 100%. Yeah. But yeah,

I mean, it's a lovely story. Apart from for him, who is now not getting paid for three weeks. Well, that's the thing. I think until,

because people were filming it, so it ended up on Twitter and social media. And then that's the thing. I think until, because people were filming it, so it ended up on Twitter and social media. And then that's when Verizon found out about it and we're like, oh no. Shut it down. Yeah, so three weeks. Shut it down.

Flesh, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast, ZM. There is a survey done by Skin, which is the condom company. They have surveyed a bunch of people. The ones that say that they are thinning, right? Thin condoms. I don't know who's right. Do they not do an extra thickie?

Nah. Oh, okay. What do they do an extra thickie for? They don't do a rubber glove finger. It's apparently thin. But then I'm like, no, you don't want that. But then they say thin but very strong. Yeah.

Yeah. Okay. Well, they have done a survey into what people like in the bedroom. Different things. And they've broken it down into star sign trends. But this is so weird. I don't believe this nonsense that you can broadly speculate that everybody born within a one month period

has the same stuff going on. If you do a survey and all these people that were born on your birthday are into this one thing, isn't that somewhat of a trend or somewhat of a... Anomaly. See, I'd rather... An anomaly.

So I'd rather believe that stat than the made up star signs in the paper. Okay. But sure. Yeah. Well, yeah. See, I reckon I could do that. I could go home from work.

I could sit down, have me lunch and write out star signs. That's what they do. I know. But why am I not doing it and making some sweet money? I don't know. Remember back in the early 2000s when there was 0900 numbers, which was when you called them for a variety of services but they always charged,

there was one and it was like, Pisces, today's a day that's going to either go very badly or somewhat okay. To find out more, call 0900-STARSOM. And it was like $8 a minute or something and people would be like, I need this advice in my life. Beep, beep, beep. Oh, $8

well spent. Probably more because it was per minute and it went on for a couple of minutes. Yeah. Think about that good little kachunga, good little sign in it. Okay. I'm going to start an Instagram account and all it does is star

signs. I'm pretty sure that's been done. I'm not going to read it it does is star signs. I'm pretty sure that's been done. I'm not going to read it. New Zealand star signs. And then every now and then, obviously I'll be doing paid promotion. Oh, you're right. To make some money. Yeah. No, but I think you can totally

break down people's personality traits by these. Okay, we'll hit us with some. By the way, producers, what are your star signs? What are you, James? What are you, a Virgo James? I'm a Virgo, yep. Oh, he picked you like a dirty nose. And Caitlin, you're a Leo, aren't you?

Yeah, I am. Same as me. Where's Anya? Is she just... Not sure. Oh, what a classic Gemini. Is she a Gemini? I don't know.

He just made it up like the rest of these nonsense. Okay, so we'll start with... What was James? I don't know who's made it up like the rest of these nonsense okay so we'll start with what was James? Virgo okay we'll start with Scorpio the virgin because that's none of us

okay so these are star signed based sex trends okay for Scorpions it just says most likely to

please don't ask for an explanation okay because I don't have one okay Scorpios are most likely to, please don't ask for an explanation, okay? Because I don't have one. Okay. Scorpios are most likely to use restraints. I thought that when you said, please don't ask for an explanation, I don't have one, was what the Scorpio is known for.

Oh, no, no, no. I need you to put this. Okay. Don't ask why, no explanations, just please do it. Okay. For Taurus, 28% of Taurians fake orgasms. Yeah, but there needs to be people fake orgasms. It's not just people born in April, is it?

This is like the trend for each. So out of all of them, most Taurians are most likely. Most Taurians are most likely fakers. Aries. We haven't got any Aries, eh, in here? Right, thanks. I don't know. Aries last the longest during sex.

Wait, what's my husband? What's Mr. Toyboy? No, he's Aquarius. Yeah, he is Aquarius. He is the dawning of the age of Aquarius. What's his one? Actually, I don't want to. I don't want to say because it's filthy.

And I'm imagining it's exactly right. Is it true? Everyone else should maybe. No, let's move on. No, I don't want to. Who wants Aquarius? Because I'm Aquarius Pisces Cuff, so I need to know both options to pick my favourite.

Oh, you are not. I don't want to read this out. It's not related to us, okay? Okay, go read it out. Most likely to have tried... Can I say... No! It's a Rihanna song.

No. Umbrella. Ponder Replay. Oh, yes, most likely to have tried Ponder Replay. Oh, yes, most likely. You're right. Ponder Replay. Now, if you didn't know exactly what that is, kids, ask mum and dad. Do you know, I actually got hit up last week by a father who,

are you guys listening? Or are you just looking at sexy stuff? Yes, Dan M. Oh, right. Yeah, the song goes nothing like that. I got hit up by a father. In fact, this has happened to me twice in the last couple of weeks. They're like, now, just after six o'clock, you often do this break.

You call it the dirty break. Now, that's when I'm taking my kids to swimming practice. Or that's when we're off to hockey practice. Okay, so yeah, right. So yeah, I don't know. That's awkward. I didn't care. I was like, ah, funny. But I don't know what your take't care. I was like, ah, funny.

But I don't know what your take is on it. But maybe we should rethink this. No, but go on. What are the other ones? The whole. Yep, go on. Sagittarius. Most likely to use condoms.

Now, they make web books, don't they? Sagittarium? Yeah. I'll let that dad joke go because that was pretty good. It was good. That made me laugh. They do, and they're very conservative

religious as well. Sagittarius we picked. Okay. Oh, shit. Where are we up to? Because I want to leave our ones till last. Okay.

I don't know where we're up to. Virgo, underreported the number of sexual partners. Oh, that's James. That's James.

Okay. Have you ever done that? Have you lied about that? Have you lied about that? No, I don't think I, actually, I've probably never

really been asked. It's one of those things. Oh, now's not the time so it's on the way to hockey practice. Yeah, yeah.

Capricorn Are the most confident In bed Apparently Are we getting down I think that's my dad He does strike me As a confident lover

He's a very confident lover And I said he's doing Pisces Is this you Vaughn Yep And my mum Just to give us The other half

Of my parental situation. I mean, I don't think it's you, but it could be your mum. Oh, I guess. 30% have had open relationships. Oh, nah, neither of us. They're not into the curtailing swingers association? No, we're not into the admin side of things. Right.

Yeah, right. Okay. Leo, that's Caitlin and I. Most likely to sext. Ooh. Oh. You know that's true for me. Now that you've got a boyfriend. I. Mm-hmm. Most likely to sext. Ooh. Oh. You know that's true for me. Now that you've got a boyfriend.

I do have a boyfriend. Do you ever flick him a dirty message? No. I haven't. With him. With him. With him. Say that.

Don't say that, mate. Don't say that. What are you doing? We see each other a lot, so we don't need to. No, remember you showed me those pictures you sent him? Oh, was it him?

Caitlin! Wasn't him. That was another. No, that was, wasn't it? Previous. Previously. Hey, now. We've only been going out for a few months.

Who you getting? Sorry. I really thought it was him. Where are we up to? Moving on quickly. Pisces, we've done. We've done Pisces. Gemini, did we do that?

Yes. I'm leaving Fletch till last. I think we've covered everyone. I think I just go to Fletch's. Oh no, what are you? Cancer. You are Cancer, but you are a Libra cusp. Gemini, isn't that on the cusp? I don't know.

I don't know. Or Libra, masturbate the most. Definitely not me. Cancer, which is Wow, you just went out there and said that, Megan. Wow. I'm sorry. I've lost what's acceptable and what's not. Cancer are most likely to cry during

or after sex. Definitely not true. We can safely say this is all made up, rubbish. Yes, we can. Fletchborn and Megan's Community Notices. How's it? Welcome to Community Notices. How's it?

How's it? Yeah, nah, good. Good, thanks, mate. Yeah, how's it? These are notices that have popped up on local Facebook pages. You've screencapped them and sent them in. And we're very savvy here at Community Notices. We know a faker when we see it.

And there's one guy who just seems to belong to every single community page around New Zealand and posts the same joke on the same day and all of the pages he belongs to. Is he bored? Yeah, I don't know. Just obviously if anybody's got any yard work they need doing, this guy could help out if that's what you're after. So some messages in this one. It follows on from, you remember last time on Community Notices

there was condoms in a letterbox? Yep. Well, we've got some more condoms. This is from Sam on the Christchurch Buy, Sell, Trade page. Brand new condoms, which is good because you don't want used ones. No. Was put in from hospital after having babies. I don't know if that's on the way out of the hospital.

We never had this. They give you what looks like a multitude of condoms. What, just so you don't come back too soon? Yeah, I guess so. Okay. I mean, I guess so. Okay. I mean, I'd take it as a personal insult that my child was so acute they were deemed a... You don't get to breed anymore.

Don't rush into that. We've seen you guys. Maybe don't do that again. We've seen heaps of babies, and this is... What a bottom tear. I wouldn't rush into that. Another one. So he's after $8 for them because he paid $10.

So he's after $8. They're the wrong size, apparently. Oh, okay. Now, I will just zoom in to see what size they are. I can't zoom in to see what size. Oh, well, I'll be darned. Because this is prescribed by a hospital, it says direct confidence 56 millimetres.

That's 5.6 centimetres. What's that? Is that your standard? I don't know. That's got.6 centimetres. What's that? Is that your standard? I don't know. That's got to be diameter. That would be standard, right? It's that standard diameter. I've never seen the width of a condom written down.

Because aren't the large ones like 7.2? Standard Connies have a width of 44.45 to 50.8 mil. Well, these are bigger than. These are 56 mil. Wow, Sam. Too small for the 56s. Right. I mean, the most awkward part would be getting mum's measuring tape

and measuring her bones across. Because where do you measure from? Well, I guess. You just have to do a... Right, okay. You look down on it, and it'd probably be easier to use dad's tape. I'd go and ask dad for his laser level, his laser measurer. You can get those.

The lady that did my window blinds came around with a window thingy. Yeah, but then that's measuring a gap. You want to measure the actual penis. No, but you do some cunning subtraction. So you stand in the middle of the room, take the measurement on the left-hand side of the room, and then the right-hand side of the room. Very, like you're getting very technical now. Yeah, but you're going to have an exact

measurement. I'm just not cool to shoot a laser through my penis. I feel like it's unproven technology, you know. It's not something that I want to be ripping into in a hurry. From the Hutton Shenfield and surrounding areas, Chatterpage. Okay. Gazelle writes,

my son has swallowed a candle. What should I do? What kind of candle? I'm imagining a tea light because it would be hard to swallow in a courier. It would be a birthday candle. Even a tea light is very wide for a child's throat. And then it would have been like sucking the cake off the bottom of the candle. Yeah.

You know, you pull the candle out of the cake. Or he was breathing in before blowing out and just kind of pooved it up. I would have been held a lot of cake with it as well. Yeah. But not exactly sure on how to handle a solid candle. I just let it... Find its way out? Yeah, you'll poo that out, no problem.

Next in the Mount Roskill Buy, Sell and Trade page, Alistair says, for sale, your next date, me. $50. Be quick because I'll be deleting this soon. I'm sick of spending $150 on a date who's ride or doesn't call back. What does that mean? Who's what? Ride or doesn't call back.

Because I understand there's that saying, the ride or die. Like you've got to have them. Yeah. They're your ride or die. Oh, right. You couldn't be without them. That's a Fast and the Furious, isn't it? But ride or who doesn't call back.

So I don't know quite what Alistair's talking about then. He's a boomer, though, so he might be getting his sayings confused. I'm sick of dating beautiful women. You have to motivate to talk. It's time someone spent 50 bucks on me. I like his approach. Divorce A52 going cheap. And he's included a range of photos,

one of which being a SpongeBob SquarePants duvet. Okay. So I'm not sure if that's his duvet or his spare bed that you could sleep in. I'm not exactly sure on what's happening there. You had that SpongeBob duvet. Finally, on Community Notices today, Bevan has posted on the New Zealand Farming Buy Sale Swap page, which I didn't know about, but will be hastily joining post Community Notices today, Bevan has posted on the New Zealand Farming Buy Sale Swap page, which I didn't know about,

but will be hastily joining post Community Notices today. Looking for a baby possum for our daughter to have as a pet. I would have thought. Sent you a photo of a possum yesterday. Yeah, you did. Could have sent that to him. I don't think that's a very friendly pet. It's dead.

It's guts. It had no head, actually. Its head must have been exactly what... Some in the group chat weren't happy that you said that, Bourne. I wasn't stoked about it, no. Well, it's better dead than alive. Yeah, well, they're a pest, Megan. But we've had two silky bantams for three years.

They've ruined the lawn. They only get two eggs a day, so they're out. Looking to replace with a pet possum. Happy to swap for seafood, power, craze, etc. Will travel for pickup. Cheers. That's interesting. Possum for a pet.

I mean, I know people do, but they're a pest. There's two chickens, right? Yeah. Two eggs a day. So one egg a day is not enough for him. And that's how much they do.

Yeah. They can't do any more than one for a 24-hour period. Just get more chickens. That's how you do that. There's not one super chicken that's laying a dozen eggs a day. Those are today's community notices. If you see anything on your local Facebook page,

screen cap it and send it to us. We're FVMZM on Facebook. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. A lifestyle blogger's been caught out lying about what they're putting on social media. I love when this happens. I love when people fake Instagram posts. Has she been faking Instagram posts?

She's been doing the Instagram posts, but she's been lying about everything. Right. Have you seen that one you can do with a milk bottle? What's that? You hold it up to the sky or the clouds, like a big plastic two-litre bottle of milk, and take a photo.

It looks like a plane window. Yes. Through the handle. You can say you're on holiday. Yeah. It's just a cheap tip if you want to make it look like you're going away somewhere. Without actually having to go away anyway.

Yeah, people might think your plane's a bit budget, but. This is a health and fitness and wellness blogger, Yovana Mendoza Ares. Okay. Okay. 1.3 million followers. Oh, wow. Okay. Now, she is a vegan

except she has been photographed and I don't know, I think she was on holiday and she's posing for a photo but her plate is visible. Now, on her plate is fish. Now, when you're a vegan, you're not allowed To eat fish

How can they tell it's fish? You can see it Well it's got a tail still It's not one of those Veggies that are Filled with fish on them Well I was going to say You know when people

It's got skin on Sorry that's how you can Yeah I don't like When people order a whole fish And then they pick at it Yum Yum No I never used to like that either

But now I'm down for it Why? What changed? I gave it a shot. You just tried a new thing. Yeah, yeah. I tried something that I hadn't previously tried. That's a great life motto.

What changed? I gave it a go. Yeah. And it was pretty good. Did you have to cover up the face and eyes? Because I just put some potato over it. Once you've seen Sade's uncle eat an eye straight out of a fish's socket, you're pretty much okay with the eye just sitting there not being eaten out of a fish's socket.

People love that, eh? They fight over it. The eye? Yeah. Yeah. People much okay with the eye just sitting there not being eaten out of the eye. People love that, eh? They fight over it. The eye? Yeah. Yeah. People dig it. Just everything, mate. Like, you think you've eaten

all of a crayfish and then Sade's Thai family will be like, give it here then. And like, I'm pretty good at picking a carcass clean, but they are absolute monsters.

Good Lord. They'll suck everything out. Like when white people fight over the, what's that thing in a chicken? The wishbone. The wishbone. Yeah. Chew on that. I know, this is over the, what's that thing in a chicken? The wishbone. Yeah.

Chew on that. This is my mum. Who wants to do the wishbone? I don't do it. We always had to let ours dry on the windowsill for a little while, otherwise it might not break. But I think that was just to stop arguments at the time. Yeah.

So this vegan health and wellness blogger, the problem is that she has claimed that she's been a vegan for a while and that it has helped her overcome alcoholism and nicotine addiction. She says it's been great for her health. But then someone's like, you have literally not been a vegan for all of 2019.

Now she said that she went on a 20 day raw vegan challenge, a 21 day raw vegan challenge. Which she obviously didn't. And she said look, okay, so I almost was borderline anemic. I suffered digestive issues over the last two years. And since then, I decided to take up fish and eggs, as suggested by my doctor.

And someone's like, two years, you've been peddling veganism for profit. You've got a million followers. When you've been eating one point, yeah. You're going to make a lot of money off those followers. Yeah. So everyone's like, also, the fact that you're promoting something that your doctor said has made you not well is not great. Ha. I know.

Ha. I mean, she's still, I checked this morning, she's still got over a million followers. So it's not like people have ditched the page. Still great recipes. She's just also eating fish. Oh, yeah, she makes it and then just puts some ditched the page. Still great recipes. She's just also eating fish. Oh yeah, she makes it and then just puts some chicken in with it. It's great. That's how to make a vegan dish

better. Add some meat. Add some chicken. From the ZM Think Tank, this is the Top 6. Hello, welcome to today's Top 6. You might not know this, but every year a bunch of scientists get together. Yeah.

And this is a meeting about METI. It's an acronym, M-E-T-I. That stands for Messaging Extraterrestrial Intelligence. And they have a one-day workshop in Paris every year. Okay. Sounds like an excuse to go to Paris if you ask me. Yeah. And this year,

what is life in extraterrestrial perspective? And there's a few thoughts on with the size of the universe and the age of it, we can't be the only intelligent, use those finger marks there, life out there. So why haven't we been contacted?

Well, there's a zoo hypothesis and that's that we're being treated like a zoo. Right. They're watching us, but they're not getting involved. They're just watching what's happening. Would you want to get involved with this hot mess that is Earth? No. Probably not.

No. But they said if you went to a zoo and a zebra looked at you in the eye and pounded out a series of prime numbers with its hoof on the ground, that would establish a radically different relationship between us and zebra. And I was like, okay. It's a fair point, though. You've got a fair point.

And they think maybe the asteroids that fly past Earth every now and then are looking at us. There's a whole bunch of theories. There's another one that we're being quarantined because it will do us no good to meet them. Right. Not that we're going to give them germs will do us no good to meet them. Right. Not that we're going to give them germs or whatever. That's what it sounds like.

They're a bit far advanced and it would mess with us. Blow our minds. So the top six signs today that we are not, in fact, in a galactic zoo. Number six, they would not let the animals go hungry or eat too much or eat each other, surely. Like if you're looking at a zoo and some animals are eating all the food while the others are getting none, you do a divvy up. But they wouldn't let us go to war

with each other, would they? No, they wouldn't. And that brings us nicely to point five on today's top six. They don't let the animals mingle if they're going to hurt each other and we as humanity and us against other animals will not stop hurting each other. Yeah. So, surely they're not just letting us go to war all the time

for their amusement. Maybe they are. Maybe they are. We all love a Michael Bay film. Number four on the list of the top six signs we aren't, in fact, in a galactic zoo. You really don't need this many animals of one type in a zoo. Yeah, fair call.

Do you? You'd be like, you've had enough. They'd only have five of us or something. But then they say fertility rates are dropping. Maybe. That's why they're doing a little crowd control. Right. Maybe they've seen Handmaid's Tale.

Maybe we are in a galactic zoo. Number three on the list of the top six signs we aren't, in fact, in a galactic zoo. They don't let animals totally destroy their habitat in zoos and just stand idly by and watch them make a meal of it. And we have been making a meal of it. Yeah, we have. Imagine going to the zoo and it's just absolute chaos. Yeah.

Yeah, when are they going to clean up all the poos around here? Just be like watching Jurassic Park and be like, it's fine. Let them go. it's fine. Let them go. That's fine. Number two on the top six signs we aren't, in fact, living in a galactic zoo. We're not in a zoo. If we're in anything, it's like a game of The Sims where the aliens are just hell-bent on seeing how big of a mess they can make in the game.

Or they got bored and just decided to put it on autopilot and walk away and come back periodically to see what's happening. Yeah. And be like, huh, this is going really downhill

really quick. And the number one sign we aren't in fact in a galactic zoo, I feel like if we were in a zoo, one of them would have fallen into the enclosure

by now. You know, like a kid gets too close, the parents are like, which is alien for don't go too close. And then they do and they fall in. Or at least we would have got some rubbish or food thrown into the enclosure.

Yeah. And we'd be like, what's this? Where'd this come from? This isn't from around here. That is today's top six. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. Old British people love to whinge. You should know this if you've ever spent more than five seconds with one. They love a whinge. They love a whinge. You're not wrong. you've ever spent more than five seconds with one.

They love a whinge. They love a whinge. You're not wrong. Is that bread and butter? Well, they are whinging about bingo now. Bingo or Howzie. Bingo and Howzie are the same, eh? I thought they were different. A bit different?

Oh, I don't know. They're both like calling out the numbers. Yeah, they call out the numbers. You've got to be the first to block out your square, and then you yell out bingo. Yeah. And they do that. I'm pretty sure that's what Halsey is too. I was taken aback when I realised that Halsey and bingo

were the same thing. Somebody told me. I thought they were different. I'm pretty sure it is. You've Googled Halsey and it's just shown where you can play Halsey, right? Now you're looking at it. I've got one of my first Google responses is from the DIA.

What's that? The Department of Internal Affairs. About how much you should have as your top prize money. Otherwise, you'd go to prison. Really? Yeah, same thing. Bingo, Halsey. Same thing.

What? So there you go. I did. Over here, me, this guy. Well, the old people in Britain are saying that the youth are ruining it. The youth are ruining bingo because there was, one of the examples is, of course, 88. When you call out the number, there's sometimes a bit of a quip. You're like two fat ladies.

Yeah, legs 11. 88, two fat ladies. Two fat ladies, 88. Well, apparently an old person was there and they said 88, two body positive ladies. Oh, it's just the young people trying to like make it PC. Yeah. But then they said it annoys them because you can't say two body positive ladies. Oh, it's just the young people trying to make it PC. Yeah. But then they said it annoys them because you can't say two fat ladies anymore. But of course, in bingo, if you said 69, you used to say 69.

Six and a nine, 69. Well, they said the youth have a very different idea. Announce that the number 69 is the amount. Of course they do. Right. Okay. Does it rhyme? I don't know exactly what they've got,

but they just said, they just literally wrote, you can imagine 69's very different. Yeah. So they said they've got rid of things that they consider vulgar, but added a whole new level of vulgar to it. Which I kind of understand, right?

Like they're like, oh, you can't say two fat ladies, but all of a sudden 69's not 69. No, but that's consensual between two peeps. Whereas like two fat ladies is like calling someone something nasty.

But they use their pronouns I guess they've forever used the same sayings like legs 11 and two fat ladies 88. Yeah.

But the young people are trying to change it with different sayings and they're not liking it. 56 scrolling through the ex's pics. That's good. That's one of them and they said but they don't

know what that means. And 14 indie hipster scene. Brilliant. Okay. But they said It's giving it new life. It's going to die out. But they don't know. So in Britain the average bingo

or housey player is a 45 to 55 yearold female. I would have thought a little bit older than that. I would have thought way older, yeah. Still quite young to be picking up the bingo. I would have thought it would have been the game of the retiree. Yeah. Yeah.

So we were wondering this morning if you've ever come up against old people, if you've ever tried to change their ways and met resistance. Because they're very stuck in their ways. And it doesn't have to be en masse. It could have just been you've come to loggerheads with like granddad or an elderly neighbour because you did something a little bit different, but he's lived there forever.

Yeah. Yeah. Well, we get this all the time in our job when we're asked to MC events with people that have been doing it for years. Yeah. And they're like, we don't want these bloody people coming in here to MC.

And you just say, I don't care. You MC. I don't, you know. Absolutely fine. I'm happy to do absolutely nothing. Mate, you've not met us. We are very happy to do nothing. We're all on the board not doing a thing.

But when there's an old mate that's MC'd an event for his entire life, he doesn't just want to hand over the mic to someone. No, how he knows how it's done he knows what to say and you know what let him do it let him do it i'm not gonna lose any sleep over it but that's one big one in our job that we get with those old mates but it's even uh like maybe you work for somebody like i know my granddad was a shocker with mowing the lawns he wanted the lawns mowed how he always mowed them if you were gonna mow them for him, you had to mow them. What, like in a strip?

No, so you had to do a couple of rounds around the outside shooting the grass in. Right. But you had to get to a certain part before you could start shooting the grass back out. But don't do too many laps shooting the grass in or it'll pile up too much and you won't be able to shoot it back out.

I have no idea what you're talking about. I would have made some crisscross cricket pitch patterns. That would have blown his mind. That would have blown his mind. He would have hated it. So, 0800 dial ZDM or you can text 9696 when you've come up against a little bit of old person resistance. So, millennials playing bingo in the UK

are upsetting traditional bingo players with their new millennial sayings. And they're not happy about it. We want to know when you've come up and maybe tried to change something up with some old people in your life. Maybe, I don't know, grandparents? Yeah. And they just know they're stuck in their ways. They're not having it any other way.

Somebody said they've actually been to a game of bingo. Yeah. With old people. Got very intense. Someone called out bingo. actually been to a game of bingo. Yeah. With old people. Got very intense. Someone called out bingo. They went up to have their card checked. Yeah. Turned out they hadn't got bingo.

Ooh. And some old mates were just yelling out, mark the card. Mark the card. What does that mean? Like screaming at them. Like a black mark. Like, yeah, cross them out of the game, I guess. Do you know kids go back and sit down?

I don't know. Because imagine if you went and sat back down and the next number was the actual number that you thought you'd heard. There you go. Mel, what happened? This is your granddad? Yeah, my granddad. Okay.

He was a caretaker, so he was quite pedantic about his lawn. Oh, I bet. Okay. And you'd try and help him out. And then, you know, how you go forward and sometimes you go backwards with the lawnmower. Yeah.

It was a big no-no. Oh, you don't go backwards. I've had old mates tell me you don't go backwards with the little my you always turn around backwards but why don't you go backwards what happens because the blades spin the way that cuts better when you push it forwards i've never noticed the difference but he said they were invented to go forward not back i mean he should probably have just been happy you were mowing his lawns. Exactly. You know. But I think he preferred to do it himself,

to be honest. Yeah, yeah. Okay, all right. I think you can call Mel, some text messages. Somebody said, we went to help after my partner's granddad had a fall. Yeah.

We went round to help, because obviously he couldn't look after himself very well. And I said, I'll vacuum. And everybody went quiet. And I vacuumed. No, I just went in and just went quite hard vacuuming around the place. And when I was finished, the granddad said, I just wish you hadn't even bothered vacuuming.

You've messed the rug up. It all has to be vacuumed the same way. I kind of get that. It's got to be vacuumed the right way. Yeah, mate, but if you're, like, bunged up in a wheelchair because you're fallen and broken your hip and someone's being nice, you just take it, eh? Yeah, yeah, yeah. You take it.

But then it's hard when you've got a fluffy carpet or a rug and you vacuum it and then you see where you vacuumed. But, I mean, what do you do? Do you comb your carpet afterwards? I don't know. I guess you do. Run a little comb over it. We'll just only go one way.

Yeah. Somebody said, I was recently painting a fence and the old mate neighbour came and stood out and watched me and kept saying I was doing it wrong. And I said, don't worry about it. I'm just painting it. Yeah. Like it's all going to look the same afterwards, right?

Yeah. And they were like, well, you're wasting far too much paint. And I said, don't worry about it. I'm paying for the paint. It's absolutely fine. And he just stood there telling them they were doing it wrong the whole day and the old man ended up walking away saying, it's just winding me up too much watching you.

Oh, good. Leave me alone. Somebody started a new job and noticed that the filing cabinet was in some weird order, so they turned it into alphabetical order of customers, so that if someone came in, they could find it. It turns out it was chronological order of customers, so the first ever customer was at the top. Oh, that's weird. How do you keep that in order? You'd have to be aware of exactly what order anybody ever came in,

but the old girl who would put it in chronological order hit the roof. And she would have known where everything was too. Yeah. And somebody else said then grandma used to stand over them while they were baking and be like, you're doing that wrong. No, you're doing that wrong. Don't put that in there first. No, no, no.

Because you're not meant to melt the butter. No, you cream the butter. Well, yeah, you soften the butter and then it creams better, doesn't it? I learnt that. Nah, just melt it in the microwave. It's all the same, is it? Just get in. Flesh for an Amegan.

The podcast. ZM. Amazing scenes coming out of Christchurch yesterday. The Hagley Park. I was trying to look for an official count of how many people were there. I saw someone say 40,000. They've just seen tens of thousands. Yeah. Heaps of people. I saw an aerial shot

and it was absolutely packed. Packed. To attend the vigil, to remember those that were killed in the mosque attacks. And so many people turning up. Lots of women wearing headscarves. And do you know what's funny? Well, not funny, actually. Choose your words better.

It's so weird and strange for New Zealanders to see police walking around with huge weapons, like just for protection and to make them feel safe. It's what happens when you heighten a terror alert, right? Yeah. New Zealand police become armed. They've got guns in their cars all the other times, but these are on their persons.

Yeah. But they're huge. To see them draped over their shoulder or hanging in front of them, it's just odd for us to see. Yeah, very odd. Two things over the weekend that happened, the Burj Khalifa, if you've ever been to Dubai, it's impossible to miss. It's the world's tallest building at the moment,

although everyone's got plans to build a bigger one. Had our very own Prime Minister OHP'd onto it. When you've actually, if you've ever been, it was like a big giant. It was projected onto it? Yeah, it's like when the teacher drags out the OHP on you.

If you've ever been to Dubai, to get a photo of that, if you're in the city, is almost impossible because it doesn't fit because it's so big. And when you go up there, you look down on skyscrapers and they look minute. So the sheer scale of that projection is something in itself. Two sky towers end on end and a bit up in the air. And she was basically in a picture on all of it, most of it.

Yeah. Just incredible to see. New Zealand artist Ruby Jones, who we talked to last week, she drew the famous drawing now that was shared after the massacre, this is your home, you should have been safer and two people embraced and a hug. We talked to her. She did not tell us that she was designing Time Magazine's cover.

That's amazing. Yeah, a New Zealander, Ruby, designed the illustration of the cover of Time Magazine's international edition, the April 1st edition, Terror Can't Divide. The drawing of very much the same type of drawing and 50 stars in the sky, each one representing one of the people who lost their lives. It's an incredible cover too. Yeah. Same type of drawing. And 50 stars in the sky, each one representing one of the people who lost their lives. It's an incredible cover too. Yeah. 25 years old and designed a Time magazine cover.

That's pretty amazing. Wow. And when we talked to her, she had 2,000 followers, didn't she? When it all started. When it all started. And she's got 70,000 now. Wow. I know it's not about followers,

but just incredible that she's getting some recognition, some following now. It. I know it's not about followers, but, you know, just incredible that, you know, she's getting some recognition, some following now. It's awesome. For sure. ZM's Fletch Warner Megan, the podcast.

Now, we were in Nelson on Thursday night, the Broods Homecoming show. And after that, we went for a late dinner at your parents' place, Megan.

You were lucky enough to experience, it's my favourite dinner. It's the one that mum makes when I go home and it's from my childhood. Mum's chicken casserole topped with nacho chips.

Now, a lot of talk, because we put this on our Instagram and a lot of talk, a lot of requests for how to make it. For the recipe. Because you can Google

a chicken casserole recipe easy enough. Yeah, and then probably just like put corn chips on the top. But then you might have to make four or five before you strike gold, you know. The corn chips with cheese melted in was a genius move. And I know that your mum did it to please you as kids. But now she can't do it without them because we get very upset.

So good. Yeah. So basically we know that your mum will cook a couple of whole chickens. Yeah. Then get the meat off them. Shred them. Shred them. And then somehow turn that into the most delicious chicken casserole

you've ever tasted. Cannot overstate how delicious. Now I'm just writing down what I believe were the ingredients that we established on the night. Okay. Now I've got nacho chips and cheese. That's the topping. Yeah, that's given.

So that's probably the last thing you have to worry about. Now, in there, I saw mustard seeds. So I would assume there's mustard or Dijon mustard. Mustard. Confirmation of mustard. So not Dijon mustard, just mustard. Just mustard. Also, I saw spring onions.

Yeah, I've got spring onions on the list here. Yeah. Confirm I saw spring onions. Yeah, I've got spring onions on the list here. Yeah. Confirmation of spring onions. White wine because Megan's mum said one for the casserole, one for her. Yeah. And chicken. So these are the clues that we got on the night. Yeah.

How many are we missing? There is one. Cream. Oh, yeah. There's definitely cream because it was so creamy. Yeah. There's one pivotal ingredient that you are missing. I've just Googled a chicken cassie recipe.

No exaggeration. It's probably the most messages I've had about anything. Everyone just wanting the recipe and trying to guess what it was. I had so many guesses. I'm like, no, try again. Garlic? Is garlic in there? There is actually garlic in there, but I kind of thought that was just a given.

You put garlic in everything. A chicken oxo cube? There's chicken stock. What are you Googling? I'm just Googling chicken cassie. They put bacon in there, chicken cassie. There's no bacon. Because you didn't have bacon or mushrooms.

I thought bacon or mushrooms could be good. Those are additional. Or recipes. Look, can you just give us the recipe? So, if you or someone can guess the final ingredient. So, we've got everything apart from one. Yeah. Obviously, we don't have how much of what to put in.

Yeah. I will release the recipe with measurements. Oh. With measurements. Oh, okay. Because it's very, it's a delicate balance it is. Is there a tablespoon of plain flour to thicken? Oh, yeah, but...

Yeah, but that's if you put too much liquid in. Okay, so we're looking for the one ingredient. One secret ingredient. And if you can guess it, I will release... Is it liquid? I don't want to give that away. Is it like a soup? Is it like chicken soup?

Like a soup mix. No. It's not like a tin of soup. That was the most popular guess, but it is not any kind of soup. So you had all these guesses, but nobody nailed it. Maggi cream of chicken. I don't like this game. No, it's not.

Tarragon. Oh, no, Claire. Claire's messaged in tarragon. That's very ooh-la-la. You're talking about a classic, like, mum's 80s recipe. Yeah, let's remember that this was born in the, what, late 80s, 90s. And mum's not big on her herbs. No.

Right, yeah. French onion soup, but we've established no soup, right? It's not a soup. It's not a packet. It's not a can of soup. Cream cheese. No. Right.

Steve, you've got a guess? Yeah, I think it's a packet of mushroom soup. No. No, no soup. No negative on that. You thought you had it. Someone said pineapple. No.

We wouldn't know pineapple. Come on now. Rebecca. Is it nutmeg? No, it's not nutmeg. No, it's got to be something of substance. It can't be like a little teaspoon of a powder. It wasn't, yeah.

No, a little piece of a powder makes a dish. No, I totally agree, but this didn't have nutmeg in it, did it? Not nutmeg. I mean, you could totally add nutmeg if you're a bit of a nut for nutmeg. What about Josh Emmett, celebrity chef, who did say he might try making you a dish on his Instagram? He would dissect it. Did he have a clue?

My mum was so stoked about that. He was like, I might try and emulate it. Sour cream? No. Oh, that's good. Cream cheese? No. No.

Are we on the right track? Yogurt? Maybe. Yogurt? No. Greek yogurt. Creme frite. No.

Creme frite. What's that stuff that's French or Italian and it's... You're talking about creme fraiche. Creme fraiche. No. What's that other stuff that's... Ricotta. No and it's you're talking about cream fresh cream fresh no what's that other stuff that's ricotta no not that mascarpone yeah that no oh okay and plus like in the 80s 90s moms have been using the mask mascarpone ricotta dollars for a mascarpone it's not ricotta cheese not cottage cheese oh so i didn't hear it cream cheese cottage cheese sour cream wait before i'm like reduce cream no ohuce cream. No. Oh, that is a good guess.

Philippe, good morning. Philippe. Good morning. I made you sound like a French chef. Thank you. What do you think the secret ingredient is? Because we need this recipe. Is it honey?

No. That would have been a bit sweet. It didn't have a sweetness. It didn't have a sweetness, Philippe. Thank you for your call. People know that it's like a creamy chicken egg didn't have a sweetness, Philippe. Thank you for your call. Do people know that it's like a creamy chicken egg? It's a creamy, thick chicken. It's like if you open up a chicken pie.

It's like the inside of that. Yeah, you could totally make a pie out of the leftover. But there was no leftovers. All right, well, keep your texts coming in, 9696. Evaporated milk? No. Milk powder. Oh, sweetened condensed milk.

If no one gets it before the start of... Mayonnaise. Is it mayonnaise? Mayonnaise. Yay! Yes! This person, this person that messaged you mayonnaise. Zippo, good morning.

Hi. You guessed it. You guessed mayonnaise as well. Yes. God damn it. Yes. What kind of mayonnaise? How much mayonnaise do you reckon though? Best Foods. Best Foods mayonnaise. He wouldn't have that back in the day. I don't damn it. Yes. What kind of mayonnaise? How much mayonnaise do you reckon, though?

Best Foods. Best Foods mayonnaise. He wouldn't have that back in the day. No, like a quarter of a cup. Yeah, quarter of a cup, half a jar. It would be about a quarter of a cup of mayo. God, no wonder I felt so full after this dinner. No one said it was healthy.

You say you felt full, but I also had two desserts and chocolate buckies to leave. Chris, so you're telling me there was cream and mayonnaise and wine. Yeah. And there was cheese. It's good stuff. Jesus. I mean, yeah, I didn't say it was good for you. It's a sometimes food.

I'm so happy about this. Jenny's not going to be happy. Jenny Craig is shitting me. I've just been so naughty. Oh, I'm upset. I have to share it with the country now. Okay, so now, Megan, we'll give you a bit of time to type up the recipe, and then we'll get that on our socials.

If you're going to make this, you have to send me pictures, okay? You have to send me pictures of what you created. I'm going to change it up now that I've got the recipe. I'm not going to put nacho chips on top. I'm going to put those chops. I'm going to put those little pom-pom potato balls. Oh, yeah. I'm going to add mushrooms.

Mum's tried that. She said it's good. Yeah, you need to cook them until they're crispy, then put them on, I reckon, then bake it again. God, I'm so hungry. I'm going to add mushrooms. Mum's tried that. She said it's good. Yeah, you need to cook them until they're crispy, then put them on, I reckon, then bake it again. God, I'm so hungry. I'm so hungry. I've already had breakfast, but I want a delicious chicken casserole. You want a casserole.

A breakfast casserole. Welcome one, welcome all to the Fletch, Vaughan and Megan podcast, brought to you by Spark. Get four gigs of bonus data on Spark's $49 prepaid value pack. Now, on with the podcast. On Friday, this happened. Now, just before we get to fact of the day, would you like to tell people about your rash? No, no, no, really.

That was something I was pretty happy just to... Oh, okay. Keep amongst ourselves. Show me. No, because you've got one up there as well. Where? Oh, my God, there's more there. Okay, no, seriously.

No, turn around. It's all around your back. It's on your back. It's all on your back. I'm around your back. It's on your back. It's all on your back. I'm not even joking. It's on your back. My back has been itchy. Lift up your shirt on the back.

Oh, my God. Sorry. Because I don't get rashy. I never get. My skin's like leather. It's very. Have you been bitten? So we want to talk about this next.

Do you guys have HR's email? I'd like to just lodge this time and date as I'm being teased. Well, that makes a change, doesn't it? Yeah, because I think this is a bit calmer, actually. They'll get an email from me rather than about me, which will be a nice change. So we've got a diagnosis. So on Friday, I showed two close friends a rash that I had that I wasn't concerned about, although I was edgy and causing me some discomfort.

They reacted being like, oh, gross. Originally, you thought it was just a little rashy spot on your front. And when you lifted up your shirt and turned around, I think what you'll find is actually we had concern Spread all around the back for your well-being because it had spread.

You said, oh, you'd been clearing some weeds or some stuff. Yeah, and I thought I'd rubbed against something. Yeah, which made sense. That'd give them a reaction.

But then when I saw how much of it, I was like, oh, I'd get that checked out. And then on Friday when I showed you, I also noticed there was just a slight

Sorry, we shouldn't react like that. You're our friend. You know, on Friday when I showed you, I also noticed it was just a slight. Sorry. Sorry. We shouldn't react like that. You're our friend. So at the weekend, I went to my parents' place. And by the way, your mum will treat you like she's your mum and you're her son forever, I think. Yeah.

So she's like, what's wrong? Give me a look. Oh, oh, God. I've got some cream. That's what they always say. I've got some cream for that. I've got some cream for my Savlon. From the 80s. I know, I was really surprised when she brought out a cream of stuff that wasn't Savlon.

Right. She had a bit of that. I put that on. It kind of stopped the itching for a bit. And then she's like, it doesn't look right though, does it? We'll send a photo to your brother. Because my brother's a pharmacist. Oh yeah.

And we'll also, and Sade's like, I'll take a photo and send it to mum because Sade's mum is a nurse. Yeah. And so pretty much at the same time we both got back bing, bing messages that's shingles.

And then I looked up shingles and saw a photo of shingles. I was like, oh yeah, that's exactly what I've got growing on me. I've Googled as well because when you told us

that it's shingles, I had to Google immediately to see if we were at risk, if you'd put us at risk. If there was a contagious element to it. No one is an over 50s thing. Yeah, older people get it. But then you reminded, and I had completely forgotten.

No, because you two were like, oh, my gosh, so much concern for Vaughn on our group chat. You're like, oh, my God, guys, pity me. Look what I've got. Oh, I'm so sick. And Fleek's're like, oh my God, guys, pity me. Look what I've got. Oh, I'm so sick. And Fleek's just like, oh wow, that's really awful. And I was like, are we all forgetting the time you put me in quarantine, not even two years ago

when we were in Queenstown, you put me in quarantine because I got shingles. Do you remember? The endless teasing. Yeah, it kind of rings a bell. The endless teasing. Don't touch me. Again, it's an over 50s thing and you two have both had it.

I know. Like, what is going on? Because it's when your immune system, like, you get sick. You're compromised, yeah. Because that's it. Before you get the rash, you get the coldy, flu-y symptoms. And, yeah, I had a day off the week before because I just felt, like, rubbish. Like, I had sore neck and headaches and everything.

And when, oh, you didn't go to the doctor, but when I went to the doctor, they said, are you stressed? I was like, um, not really. I don't have a stressful job. But then I've been to a doctor before and he's like, are you stressed? I'm like, no. And then he asked me all these questions and he's like, well, you are. I was like, oh, I didn't know that. Like sometimes you don't know if you're stressed.

And it could just be the fact that you're not getting enough sleep or something's worrying you. Stress manifests itself in heaps of different ways but apparently this is like when you run down and you're stressed. Oh, you don't show us again. Is it on your back? So I read that it's

got worse. It's got worse on the back. So I read that if you pop the blisters it would be contagious. Oh really? Well, that little, I'm not going to. But yeah, don't, just make sure it's scabbed over and then we're safe, Megan. It's one of those ones that's itchy, but you know if you itch, you're going to be in big trouble.

Oh, yeah. So yeah, what I'm trying to say here is I don't have any sympathy for you. Because that time you put Megan in quarantine? I couldn't even remember you having shingles So you brought that up So I guess it's true what they say about bullying Always sticks with the bullied more than the bullier Yeah

And I guess there's a lesson to be learned here I don't know what it is But I'm sure it's there somewhere Yeah Okay Just I guess a public service warning there If you see Vaughn just keep a good distance Don't touch her Hold on I'm just going to wait I'm just going to wait Yeah. Okay. Just, I guess, a public service warning there. If you see Vaughn, just keep a good distance.

Hold on. I'm just going to wait. I'm just going to wait. Hold on. Wait a minute. Yes. Thank you. Someone messaged in.

You just need some pine tassel. Pine tassel or whatever. That's apparently. Dad, because my dad had shingles and he's like, oh, don't tell people you've got shingles. Everyone's got a remedy. And it's always pine tassel or something. What is pine tassel?

I don't know It's like a special soap I had a Flatmate had it In the shower once And it smelled like Pine needles It was real cool Smelled like pine needles

But then it's like Real dark Like orange Is this for chicken pox? I'm not sure Actually yeah Because remember When I had an adult chicken pox

I think I had to get that Yeah Yeah What is wrong with us? Yeah We're all immunised. You're lucky you're well enough to be at work. I know people that have had it and been very sick.

I blame anti-vaxxers. This is totally my excuse for a week off. I've really dropped the ball here. It's too late. You've come in already. Oh, but I'm... Oh, it's getting so much worse. No.

Help. You're not pulling that on us. Help. Help. Mosh Monday. It's a Monday morning tradition. Mosh Monday. You tell us your emotional story that reminds you of a song back in the day.

Yep. Hannah, good morning. Good morning, everyone. All right. Oh, you choked up already, Hannah. So this was an emotional time. Take us back. What was happening?

For me, it was about 10 years ago, and it was my first proper real boyfriend. I was about 14 years old. Okay. And it didn't actually last very long, to be perfectly honest. It ended pretty quickly. But we were still able to hang out, me and my girlfriends as well, with him. And I found out actually about six months ago that he was trying to flirt with my two best friends to make me jealous so I'd want to date him again.

When was this? Recently. Or this was after you broke up? So only about six months ago he got back in contact with me just to see if potentially a spark was still there. Wow! But wait,

who broke it up ten years ago? I did. Yeah, I did. But no, I reminded him that that was 10 years ago and I've been with my partner for five years and I definitely don't want to be with you. Aww.

It's so amazing he's still like Troy 10 years later. Oh, bless him though. Bless him for Troy. Yeah. Okay, so obviously, so you did the breaking up. So this song was what, like an empowering emotional song? Yeah, when you hear what it is, you understand why I would scream it in my bedroom and yell it out as loud as I could.

Okay. Well, why don't you introduce your song for Mosh Monday, Hannah? My Mosh Monday is Jojo, Leave, Get Out. And don't call me in 10 years. It'll still be a no. All right, it's Mosh Monday Jojo leave get out On to them I've been waiting all day for you babe

So won't you come and sit and talk to me And tell me how we're gonna be together always Hope you know that when it's late at night I hold on to my pillow tight You think of how you promised me forever I never thought that anyone Could make me feel this way Now that you're here, boy, all I want

Is just a chance to say Get out of me right now It's the end of you and me say But you was just a waste of time Get out right now It's the end of you and me It's too late now And I can't wait for you to be gone Cause I know about her And I wonder how I brought all the lies

You said that you would treat me right But you was just a waste of time Get out Jojo leave get out Hannah's mosh Monday To say that you would treat me right But you was just the way it sounds like Jojo leave, get out, Hannah's Mosh Monday today. Coming up, we've got another cash track. Starting this again, so after fact of the day, we're going to tell you what song you need to be listening for today during the jam-packed workday chance to win $500 cash.

This I saw over the weekend and I thought, we simply must talk about this. Oh, we simply must talk about this. Oh, we simply must. Oh, we simply must. The high school in America, North Bergen in New Jersey, they were doing their high school play, their production.

Okay. And, you know, this is well outside the box of what you'd expect for a usual high school production. But then you say that, but then there are high schools around that go all out with productions.

Yeah, but this is not so much, oh, I'm not talking about the money spent. They did Alien. The movie. Yeah, the movie with the original movie starred Sigourney Weaver back in like the late 70s, early 80s. They all get eaten by aliens.

Yeah, and then there was Aliens vs. Predator and then there was ongoing, there's Prometheus. It's all bound in to one weird universe of aliens. Who did the stage play of that? I know. This is amazing, right? They based it on the 1979 Ridley Scott film.

They've done a few performances. I'm pretty happy with how it all went. They made everything. The kids involved in it made the sets, they made the costumes. The teacher who is the art teacher at the school and directed the play, he's 32. So that may be why it's not your

old fuddy-duddy music and production teacher. Yeah, I mean it's better than doing cats, isn't it? It's something different. Way different. And like the spacesuits and stuff, I mean this means nothing. We're on the radio. I can show my colleagues in studio. They made these. Don't call us colleagues.

Friends. Friends. Thank you. I can show these. That's actually pretty cool. These two a-holes I work with. Those are amazing. Like they made it and it's all from recycled materials.

Oh, wow. So they had to like find everything to build the sets with. Let me show you. They made the alien skull. Oh, okay. That's insane. This is next level. And they made everything, and it focused

heavily on using lights and stuff to hide the imperfections of their suits, but also they used black light and then certain things had UV paint on them so it would show up more than other things. People who went just from start to end, it

was nuts. Like they couldn't believe they were watching 15, 16 year olds put on a full-blown production of Alien. I would be, oh. See, we never had it. We had a Shakespeare. Shakespeare was boring.

Oh yeah, we'd love to see another production of Romeo and Juliet no we've seen it all it's beautiful mate once Leonardo DiCaprio has been in a movie of it no one's gonna do it better this is true

don't bother trying and you know musicals and stuff saw a Phantom of the Opera once and you know good on them they were high school kids but that's a big

that's a big bite of pie to try to do Phantom of the Opera the guy was doing Phantom of the Opera his balls were dropping too. It was all fair. Was it a wee bit squeaky?

Was it all over the place? Okay, go right. Was it a wee bit squeaky? Yeah. But I would love to know this morning of the different things your school did for a high school production. I don't want to hear about Jesus Christ Superstar. You don't want to hear about successes. Do you want to hear about some funny stories?

If it went badly, that would be even better. Because at least you tried. Yeah, true. Which is more than I can say for my sort of experience in theatre. Maybe the school production was something unusual. It was a bit out of the ordinary. Something different. Not your run of the mill school production. There's like 10 of them that

every school does. I want to hear about the weird ones. No one's going to beat Alien. When your teacher writes the play. I'd want to hear about the weird ones. Like, no one's going to beat Alien. When your teacher writes the play. I'd love to hear about some original playwrights. And especially if there were some inappropriate moments in the school production. Yeah, that's... Points for those?

Yeah. Yeah, because some musicals are quite, you know, sexually charged. How did they write around those? Or maybe they didn't and then everyone's parents turned up and watched it and it was awkward. I don't know. Someone's dad's like, get your hands off my bloody daughter. All right, 0800DARLS.NM9696.

We want to hear about your unusual school productions. We're talking about your unusual high school productions after a school in New Jersey in the States did Alien. Which has actually gone viral because they've done a good job. It looks amazing. The costumes and the sets and everything built out of recycled materials by the people as part of the cast. Better than Cats or Chicago or other musicals.

We just say that. That one with the magic coat. Joseph. Joseph. Magic. And the magic coat. Joseph. Joseph. Magic. Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat. Rainbow coat. Yes. Rainbow coat.

Okay. Good God. So is that the Joseph? Is that Jesus' father? Joseph. Joseph. With the Technicolor Dreamcoat. I, no, I don't think so.

No, I don't think they had that colourful fabric. They say it's going to be a bright decorative coat. And, you know, some churches still aren't all right with homosexuals. I'm just saying it's not. Well, it wasn't a rainbow flag. Well, it was a rainbow coat. He took the flag and sewed it into a coat. Yeah, okay.

It's pretty fabulous. Very fabulous. Some text messages in. My school did the Rocky Horror Picture Show. Now, if you've ever seen that, that's like... That's charged. It's intense. That's intense. That's intense.

Like... But I like that they did something different. Great songs. It's a wonderful musical, but yeah, like, there's always a couple of conservative parents

that certainly wouldn't be happy with that. Catherine, what was your high school production? We did Heavenly Creatures. Oh, okay. Good Lord. The Peter Jackson movie.

Pardon? The Peter Jackson did the movie, didn't he? Yeah, yeah, he did. You know, the one with the two Christchurch girls. And they blocked the father over the... Yeah, because the mum was a rock and a sock. Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

That's an intense... It wasn't turned into a musical by any chance, was it? No, it wasn't. No, I was going to say, I don't know how you'd write songs for that. Hardly a happy theme, is it, that one? Okay, thanks you, Cool Catherine. Some more texts. Somebody said, our school's super intense with high school productions. There's always a full dance, there's a full dance coaching

and if you can't make it, you get kicked out. And then there's always a massive argument about what the production is actually going to be this year. It's actually been cancelled two times in the last five years

due to the politics involved in it. See that would be a good production. The production about making the production. Yeah right. Inception.

Yeah but that's like when people do speeches about speeches. I think I'd rather see a production about productions. Somebody said we did Grease which wasn't too unusual, but until we started questioning what some of the lyrics and the songs were about.

I know. I've only just started to question some of those lyrics. Yeah. When you're a kid and you're at like your school disco, like even primary school and you're doing the Grease mega mix and it's like. Even Grease Lightning. Yeah.

It's a real something wagon. Yeah. That wagon and the chicks all about the wagon. Inappropriate. I know. Double think that. Gosh, damn. Somebody else said,

Palmerston North boys and girls have just finished their run of The Addams Family. Oh, yeah. That's a bit different. Stage show. It was extremely obvious sexual innuendo. Yeah. Really funny until you remember they're teenagers and you're not quite sure of what they...

Yeah, right. What they understand and what they didn't. An unnamed school recently did cabaret that included Nazi flags. There's still pictures up in the music department hallway. But is that that... There's that famous stage show that got made into a movie about the producers. It's called The Producers.

Oh, yeah, right. And they're trying to make a show that's going to fail miserably. So they put all the worst things in it and there's Nazis in it. So it might have been a take on that. In year 12, we did a stage show of 1984 by George Orwell. Now, that's obviously very intense content. The entire element of sex in the play was substituted for a single kiss

and we weren't allowed to swear once. I hate the freaking party was the line that got used instead. Right. Matisha, what was your high school production? So I did a feminist production of A Midsummer Night's Dream that I didn't quite understand,

but I ended up being cast as a woman of the night bunny rabbit. Okay. Okay, right. Did your parents come along to that? They sure did. My mum wasn't thrilled with the costuming, but I ended up, I actually fell over and broke my arm during the show, and my parents said that that was the highlight of the evening

Oh wow, okay Probably because they didn't have to look at their daughter as a hooker rabbit for much longer on stage Did your pimp come out on stage and demand you keep working? Even with a broken leg? I did finish the show Oh, wow, good on you That's a professional And I got out of year 12 exams, so worth it.

Wow. What happens after GIST? Do they take your work through the year and then give you a mark on that, eh? Yeah. Yeah, because I thought about doing that, but my marks were terrible, so that wouldn't have worked. I wouldn't have asked. No, it wouldn't have helped.

Thanks. You call my teacher? Somebody said we did One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest. That's about psychiatric patients. Lots of scenes of high school boys only in their undies. Electric shock therapy at one start and then a massive death scene at the end. Yeah.

It's really something, that movie. But parents at the end were like, that was unusual. Our primary school production was Austin Powers. Would have been about eight or nine years old when I was dressed up as a fembot with fake boobs. Oh, my God. And then who got to say the lines,

do I make you horny? Yeah, true. I never thought about them saying that. There's a lot of, oh, yeah. Oh, gosh. Brilliant. Well, at least it's something different. Something different.

Something different. Very different. Fact of the day, day you couldn't kill an ant by microwaving it. Okay. Yeah, they could, like if you had food and you're like, this will be good, I'll just microwave it and the ants will die and then I can blow them off. Yep.

Not going to happen. I need to try it, but I don't want you to be wrong. Microwaves, they work by passing radio waves at a frequency of 2.45 gigahertz. That's what it says on the microwave. I need 1.21 gigahertz to get back to the future. They pass through the food. Yeah. And then they're absorbed by water and fats.

And then they start rotating and then boom, it converts to heat. And that's how you heat up your food. That's a really great explanation. Thanks. There's got to be water or there's got to be fats. Otherwise, things won't heat. That's why you should put a cup of water in for something dry. Yes.

Like a wheat sack. Or yeah, even if you're just re-heading leftovers. Is there wheat in the water? Yeah. That keeps it in anyway. You get the steam going in the water and it goes around and makes it nice and warm and it doesn't blow anything up. So you might be thinking, why then, if it's on water and fats,

does an ant not die? Well, they contain too little water to be affected by microwaves. Yeah. And their exoskeleton, their chitin, the ant exoskeletal material can resist microwaves, and they're too small. Because apparently at those wavelengths, they're quite large wavelengths,

and an ant could literally avoid the hot spots. Huh. I mean, it'd be a lot of work, because it'd be like running backwards on a merry-go-round. Yeah. It's going, and you're trying to run and dodge. I'd probably just hide under the glass plate in the microwave. I don't know if the glass plate's going to... Is it going to do anything?

I don't know. I don't know. I'd just hide in the middle of whatever you're microwaving, because it doesn't... It doesn't get into the middle. We're on a pie. Get to the middle. We'll all a pie. Get to the middle. We'll all be safe. Things might head up around us.

It won't. It's the middle of the pie. Unless they stir it. Unless they stir it. I've learned, I only learned a couple of years ago that if you're microwaving something in a bowl, you don't put the bowl in the middle. You put it on the outside. Yeah.

So it gets a variety of the waves. How have you only just learned that? Dunno. Yeah. So it gets a variety of the waves. How have you only just learnt that? Dunno. Yeah. And when I tell people about that, you'd be surprised about the amount of people that still don't know it. Because what's the point of the thing spinning if you're going to put it in the middle? It just spins on its own axis. What's the

point of that? Well, my mum's got a microwave and it doesn't have a plate. You just sit it in there. What? I know, it's a new one. Is it a new one? Fancy one. New, la, la. And you just sit the it in there. What? I know. It's a new one. Is it a new one? Fancy one. A new one. La, la. And you just sit the stuff in there. And nothing on the bottom. There's no glass plate to pull out when you overdo your porridge.

There's no. Your mum the other night was telling us she does pizzas in the microwave. She has that fancy microwave where it sits on a metal plate. And I was like, that goes against everything I've ever learnt. You don't put pizza on a microwave. Yeah, you don't put pizza in a microwave, do you? What's with these parents getting new microwaves? It's because 99% of

their cooking's done in the microwave. And the last time they bought a microwave was 1987. One microwave has seen them through. And when parents get a new microwave, oh, they are confused. If the buttons are slightly different. Because they can probably get a microwave where you just were like 10

seconds and that was 10 seconds or one minute but now you've got to be like microwave all the heat which one you want and type it in or

turn the dial to get how much time you want and then you can't take an old dog new tricks. I just used to

shut the door and it started by itself. I think that's the default. Yeah why don't you write to someone sharp

why don't you write to sharp and bring up these concerns about how they've changed theirault. Yeah, why don't you write to someone? Sharp. Why don't you write to Sharp and bring up these concerns about how they've changed their microwave? Yeah, for the better. So today's fact of the day is an ant will not die if it gets microwaved. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. In an effort to never have horses Because there are a handful

We adopted two goats at the weekend The Smiths adopted two goats Harold and Helen, they were already named. Sorry to any Helens. You and your family are becoming like the Ange and Brad with all your adopting from all over the place. We don't have to keep them inside

though. They technically are kids though, right? I don't know. Here's the thing about Harold and Helen. Mysterious background. Did you name them? No, they came named. From the shelter. We got them from an Auckland Council animal shelter. Right.

And yesterday I said, so what's the background of these goats? Like, were they, because that was the big, when we said, yeah, we'll take them. They're super friendly. There was a video of them. They're super friendly. And so I thought they must have been somebody's pets. And then something happened and the council must have rezoned where they were. So you weren't allowed to have what are considered agricultural animals.

Or they escaped. So I said, oh, was it a rezoning thing? And she's like, actually, do you know what? Like these guys are a total mystery. Somebody just reported them on the side of the road one day, not chained up, no collars, no nothing. They probably escaped. But they did their best to like reunite them with their own. If you lost your two pet goats, you'd be looking for them, right?

Because that's the thing, they're beautiful goats. Yeah. Like they're beautiful. They're sunning goats. What do you call them? Are they horns? No. Horns?

Horns. Antlers. They're antlers, Megan. I did not say the fancy name. Because they're antlers on a deer. Head spikes. A few of the head spikes. A couple of goat head spikes.

Well, I don't know. They have different names for things protruding out of the head of animals. Oh no, but what have you done? Because what's the rules now if someone sees you posting them and they're like oh my god, those are our goats. And your girls are so attached to them now. What if they're like, yeah, we lost those. This recently happened to a woman in Christchurch.

She had her dog taken and she was like, oh, I don't have money to bail him out. But then the time she turned up with the money, it had been adopted by somebody else. And they were like, you had your chance. You had your shot. Oh, my God. She was like, oh.

Do goats get attached like dogs? I don't know. These goats, they'd never met us before the first time they met us. They just wanted straight up. And I gave them a scratch between the horns. And they're like, you know the magic spot. Because I have had a goat before. It's a goat G spot. It's a the magic spot. It's the goat G spot.

It's the goat G spot. Between the protruding goat spikes. Head spikes. And I scratch and Harold was like, you were right by me. But they have a mysterious background because Helen stands guard. Like Harold

went in the little shed that we've got for them and he like had a lay down and Helen stands by the door. Kind of maybe watching, maybe she's a little bit particular. We don't know if they're brother and sister. We don't know what the story is. Oh, yeah, I just assumed that they were in a relationship. I didn't know. No, they might be brother and sister.

Have you seen them kiss? No, they, no. Okay. They might not be into PDA. I sat down in the grass with them yesterday And they both kissed me PDA Right PDA

PDA Well, maybe you should take the webcam That's on the rat trap Yeah And just put it on them To see if they kiss To watch them And then we can work out

If they're in a relationship And if they're not They might be just brother and sister Yeah Yeah, or they could be like Susie Oh, God Jamie, I don't know

We don't know We're probably pissed we don't know. We don't want to be honest. Game of Thrones going on in there. Well, that part of the story. But yeah, and it was amazing.

I put photos up and so many people are like, goats are my favourite animals. I wouldn't have considered people to have goats as their favourite animals. And they eat everything, don't they?

Oh, that's what I like about them. We put them in the paddock and they just walk straight up to this area of grass that I've been kind of watching that you can't get a mower to and they started eating it and I was like, oh, you are good. You are good to me. Until they eat your clothes or something. But then, no, somebody else sent in

their same breed of goats and they're like, oh, look at them on top of the tractor. And they sent a photo and they were on top of a tractor. How'd they get on top of a tractor? I know goats are mountainy and origin and they're great at climbing and stuff. But how did they get on top of a tractor? I know goats are mountainy. Yeah. And origin. They're great at climbing and stuff.

But how did they get on the tractor? If a goat ever gets on your ride on a lawnmower or your roof, send me a photo. Oh, yeah, on the roof. On the roof, there'll be a photo. Yeah. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast.

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