ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Megan Podcast - March 26 2019

Episode Date: March 25, 2019

Megan had an exciting announcement, Vaughan got Acupuncture yesterday and your drunk online shopping.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

ZM. Head music lives here. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. Thanks, Anya. Good morning. Welcome to the show. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. Did you see Egg Boy speak? No, I heard. I've only heard a little bit of audio. He sounded very eloquent for a 17-year-old who smashed someone over the head with an egg. Well spoken. Yeah, it's not what I expected. Said he's embarrassed by the whole thing. Yeah, because he took away from the victims and their families and stuff.

It wasn't the response I was expecting from him. No, you see like Australian teenagers on the news. Yeah. You know, like remember that guy that kept wearing his sunglasses and had big parties? Wasn't he topless? Yeah. From the 2000s? Yeah.

Yeah, topless on the news. Just like, take your sunglasses off, Corey. Nah. Nah. I was expecting that kind of level of, but no. Yeah. He was on the news. She was like, take your sunglasses off, Corey. Nah. Nah. I was expecting that kind of level of, but no. Yeah, he was good on him. He's a good man. Yeah.

So, yeah, all of the money that was raised in that Kickstarter, that GoFundMe, to the victims. Yeah. Which is great. Today's top six, dealing with some other Australians. Te Wiggles are coming back to New Zealand. They announced their tour yesterday, an absolute rock and roll day out for anybody with toddlers.

But what's the current line-up now? Because it's like... Well, you've got Lockie, you've got Simon, you've got Anthony, and you've got Emma. So they broke up, eh? Yes, the yellow Wiggle and the purple Wiggle aren't married anymore, but they're still touring together. Oh, God, could you imagine touring with your ex?

No. Well, it must be hard for her to see all the mums throwing themselves at Lockie. If you bet she'd get all the dads. But then equally, the dads are only going to the wiggles for one reason. Yeah, the mums have got choice between other wiggles. Yeah. Well, depending on persuasion. The Fox, big operatic dude, and the guy with the curly hair, Lockie. Yeah, it's a good move by the wiggles. Yeah. Well, depending on persuasion. They've got Silver Fox, big operatic dude,

and the guy with the curly hair, Lockie. Yeah, it's a good move by the Wiggles, do you think, to diversify? Yeah, maybe. Yeah. Have you been to a Wiggles show? I've been to a couple of Wiggles shows. Are they awful?

Great show. No, it's really good performers. Kids get really into it. Like, really? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, God, I couldn't imagine anything worse. No, I mean, once you've been indoctrinated

by listening to their songs in the car over and over and over and over and then YouTube over and over and then their Netflix over and over and over and over and over. Did you get into it a wee bit?

Oh, yeah, you get into it. You get your favourites. Do the Hot Potato, like, do they go off stage, like, and then everyone's like, where are you girls? And then they come back for Hot Potato?

The last song? I can't remember an encore. I can't remember an encore. I can't remember an encore. I don't think so because I don't think kids know about encores. Oh, right. And the parents are like,

all right, get your bloody balloon. Let's get out of here. Because you know, one of my favourite websites is Setlist. Yeah, do they do a Wiggles setlist? Yeah, there's a Wiggles setlist at the standby.

This was on the 10th of March. What are they open with? No, no one's filled it out. Because they do an encore come out to do the encore and all that that'll be gone yeah

I'll go back a few years see if I can find nah no one no one updates their setlist oh well I don't know if I'm going this time I think my kids are a little bit past

wiggles but if we do go I'll update the setlist for you I'll be there with a clipboard let me see don't hit the passionate fans opening with Dorothy the Donosaur hot play

get that dinosaur on stage early. All right, you lot, listen up. It's story time. Story time. Three news headlines for interesting, unusual, odd, quirky news stories. Vaughn and Megan, debate the headlines and pick one. Go on. Headline one, man regrets name change.

Headline two, surprising number of bites. Bites or bikes? Bites. Bites. Like. And headline three, co-workers negative energy. Those are the three. Any of these, I would say, great stories today. Because, you know, sometimes there's a dutter. Co-workers negative energy. Those are the three. Any of these, I would say, great

stories today because, you know, sometimes there's a dutter. Co-workers negative energy I quite like. I like number one. What was it? Man regrets name change. Oh, okay. What was one you like? Number three. We're at an impasse. We're at an impasse. Number three.

Co-workers negative energy. Okay, number three. What does that man suggest? Oh, you just rolled over. I expected more points. I didn't want it to be the negative energy co-worker. Well, no, I could have either. All right, well, we go now to America and a town called Arnold in MO, which I believe is Missouri.

No idea. In states, statewide. Because MI is Michigan. Yep. Missouri, Arnold police are investigating an unusual incident that occurred at the Enterprise Car Rental offices. Oh, go on. In Arnold.

Apparently, they turned up to find two employees dizzy and shaking, and the employees didn't know why. They were taken to an urgent care centre, an A&E, and then they were transferred to Mercy Hospital South. They questioned a 19-year-old employee that was with the two, and that is when they found out that he had admitted putting LSD in water bottles of his two co-workers and a third employee's coffee cup,

telling them they had negative energy. And he was just trying to lighten them up. LSD. Good Lord. Yeah. Wow. Because I've never associated LSD like a hallucinogenic with energy. Like I'd give them a Red Bull.

Yeah, yeah. Or, you know, a sugary drink. They would give them a Red Bull. Yeah, yeah. Or, you know, a sugary drink. They would give them energy, not necessarily positive. What about your chocolate? They could just be negative workers, like negative people. I mean, I'm not sticking up for them. Oh, right, so he's just like, I'm going to drug them to see if they can... These two are just, you know, uptight.

A compliment and some chocolate. It always works for me. That's a great idea. Are you telling us not to give you LSD in your water bottle? Yeah, thanks. Just choccies. Flowers, some compliments. Are you sure?

Apparently they're testing the remaining samples of water and no charges are yet filed. But when the lab tests come back, they're expecting charges of second-degree assault and possession of a controlled substance. Would you taste it? I don't know. I've never done it.

I don't know. Because LSD is usually on, like, a little bit of paper, isn't it? Well, I've seen that movie with George Clooney. The boot is in the second house. And then you see, like, unicorn house. And then you see unicorns. And Jupiter aligns with Mars. That movie you're talking about, Men Who Steer at Goats. Yeah.

That is the weirdest movie. Because it's all about when they started testing LSD in the military. That's how it started. I watched that and that was messed up. Weird movie. That was crazy. Yeah. Because you're like, what's happening here, George Clooney?

Yeah. Is this one of your art projects, George Clooney? Yeah. This is one weird movie, George Clooney. Fleshfauna Megan, the podcast, ZM. There is new technology. This has come from Japan and it is to help dads. And stop. It's going to be weird then.

It's different. It's either a lovely economical car, some wavwe white car, some lovely whiteware, some lovely whiteware, or weird inventions out of Japan. This is a breastfeeding plate for dads. So last one. You were right. A weird invention.

A weird invention. No, but this is good because it helps guys get involved in the breastfeeding process. It's called the Father's Nursing Assistant. Yeah. And basically, it's a pair of plastic boobs that you put on. Like on Meet the Fockers? Yeah.

Yeah, that's right. Those were like actual like rubbery latex boobs. These are plastic and basically it has a milk tank in it. So either it will be like milk that's been pumped or it will be formula. And it's to help not only the child but the dad. So they say that the breastfeeding process is also effective at helping parents get to sleep

and often it's just women who get to enjoy this. So now men get to nurse their child and drift off to sleep and often it's just women who get to enjoy this. So now men get to nurse their child and drift off to sleep too. And I guess for the baby... While you're nursing them. Yeah. And so the baby feels more kind of like at home. Snuggled. Next to the buzzy.

But the buzzy's are beat plastic and hard. And they say that babies reach for the buzzy when they're nursing. So now when they reach there will be like a boob there. It's more comforting for them. But it's not a realistic boob. They never had the babies reach for my buzzy. No.

Yeah, right. Well, that's a good thing. Time we had babies. Yeah. Because if they were. Ouch. Yeah. You'd be like, oh, bitch, please.

So, yeah, they say they want to decrease the burden on mothers as well. But then why couldn't you just give them a bottle? Yeah. Yeah. Like if it's pumped or formula, it's just, I guess it's just mimicking the action of it. So it's more comforting for the baby or something. Or is it just dudes that want to wear boobies? That's what it feels a bit more like.

Yeah. Okay, let's put that aside for one second. Could this be a new way to sneak boos into events? Yes. Well, I mean, yeah. But, like, you're going to have to pour it out of your boob. Well, no, I would imagine I would have a boob and Fletcher would have a boob.

I'd wear the boobs. I'd be like, here you go. It's num-num's time. And Fletcher would reach in a minute. To be honest, if I saw that at a concert, I'd just give you a wide berth and be like. I was more thinking we'd sneak to the bathroom and then empty the boobies into like bottles. Why? No one's questioning you though.

Too much double handling. Straight on the, get straight on the tip. And the thing is now, you wouldn't stop a man with boobies going into a concert because it's nuts. 2019. And I wouldn't stop another man cycling on those boobies. No, you wouldn't stop a man with boobies going into a concert because it's 2019. And I wouldn't stop another man suckling on those boobies. No, you wouldn't, dear. Thank you. You do you. I'm just going to walk over here.

How much are these? Yeah. I don't know. They've been displayed at like a convention, so I think they've just been launched. So there'll be time before the next Hamilton Sevens. Yeah. Good to know. From the ZM Think Tank, this is the Top Six.

Hello and welcome to today's Top Six. The Wiggles heading back to New Zealand. They are coming to do a few shows. They come every now, come every now. I just slammed my hand and I pinched the microphone. It slid down on it. It pinched me. Brilliant!

So they're coming to do some shows. Yeah. And part of doing shows is that you need a rider. This is a thing that you demand to have backstage. And famously over the years... You ask, yeah, you don't demand. Sorry.

And we're the venue provider, aren't they? Or the concert promoter. And famously over the years there have been some big rider demands from different artists. Yeah, high profile.

Someone wanted only brown M&Ms or just ridiculous things. Mitch James, what does he always ask for? He always wants a photo of... Is it Morgan Freeman? He asks for a photo of, is it Morgan Freeman? He asks for a series of weird photos all the time. At his tent at float, I was like, what's in there?

I know. Oh, that's just what he does. He asks for different photos. Yeah, because most of the time the artists are just being silly, aren't they? Just see what they can get. Most of the time all they want is water, a fruit platter, maybe some cheeses. Oh, no, they don't do cheeses. Not the same before you say.

Drummers can probably have some cheese. Yeah. As long as they're not. I'd be a drummer. You get to sit down the whole time and eat cheese. But you've got to be able to keep a rhythm. Yeah. Yeah.

So here's the tea. Here's the wiggly tea. Okay. Someone's just messaged in. Word on the street is Shirley Sean the Unicorn will be joining the Wiggles ensemble for the New Zealand League of Tour. Is it big news?

I'm googling Shirley Sean. And this must be a very recent addition because I've not heard of Shirley Sean. Shirley Sean the Unicorn. Wiggles. Okay, let's...

Oh, okay. Is it a person? They introduced... Oh, okay. They introduced their new friend Shirley Sean the Unicorn in 2019.

Oh, okay. So new. This is a new. Oh, Shirley Sean's introduced their new friend, Shirley Sean the Unicorn, in 2019. Oh, okay. So new. This is a new. Oh, Shirley Sean's got a heart nose. Yeah. With a big S and star on the tum. I mean, I'm a bit of an OG. I'm a Henry the Octopus, Wags the Dog, Dorothy the Dinosaur sort of guy.

They look like they're falling apart, those costumes. I will. They are not costumes. They are people from Wigglytown. So the top six things you'll find in the Wiggles Rider, number six, VIP parking and a valet for the big red car. Yeah. They need that thing vacuumed out.

Yeah. Life on the road gets a little bit grubby, so that's going to need a... All the takeaway wrappers. Yeah. Yeah, they just kind of like... And those little pockets on the back of the seats. Yep.

They always just push things in there, so you might want to check in there and just clean it out nice and proper. Number five on the list of the top six things you'll find in the Wiggles writer, one whole live cow for Dorothy the dinosaur. I know they sing the song about how she likes to eat roses and drink roses tea,

but she's basically the T-Rex off Jurassic Park. Yeah. You just lower it into her caravan and then just ignore what happens because there will be blood. It's amazing she hasn't eaten children at any of their shows. That relies on the whole cow beforehand.

Right, okay. She's not hungry. No, no, she's not the sort of dinosaur that hunts unnecessarily. She'll only hunt when she's hungry. Number four on the list of the top six things you'll find in the Wiggles writer are all the fruit

required to make fruit salad. Yummy, yummy. Fruit salad. Yummy, yummy. But not fake cherries. Not fake cherries. I love fake cherries.

They're grapes now, aren't they? In a fruit salad tin, the cherries are just coloured grapes. What are fake cherries? Is that not a thing? I'm pretty sure. A maraschino. Well, there's something else. Marasch the cherries are just coloured grapes. What are fake cherries? Is that not a thing? No. I'm pretty sure. A maraschino.

Well, there's something else. Maraschino cherries. Are you sure? Yeah. Seven reasons you should never eat maraschino cherries. Oh, I don't need that in my life. Don't read that. They're syrupy. Oh, that's alright. They don't, they aren't a good standard for a real cherry. They totally disgrace

ice cream. They're made in the most horrific way. What do you mean? They're bleached with calcium chloride and sulfur dioxide until they turn yellow and lose their flavor, and then they're marinated in corn syrup and red number four food coloring for three weeks. Oh, God.

See, I told you you'd ruin it for me. I've ruined it for you. Yeah. See you later. I knew they weren't real cherries, that's for sure. That was like a countdown within a countdown. Yeah, wasn't it? Back to the original countdown,

the top six things you'll find in the Wiggles rider. Number three on the list, a well-heated jacket potato. Not too hot. Because everybody thinks this is a song, they love a steaming hot potato. Well, they're just like you and I. They often buy a potato and it's too hot to eat. They have to carry it around for a long time.

They prefer it well-heated with sour cream and melted cheese and chives. Yum. And bacon bits. Yum. Is there anything else that belongs in a jacket potato? You said chives, sour cream, cheese. That's a pretty good jacket potato. Yeah, that's pretty good.

Maybe some onions, some diced onion. You've got bacon. She's got chives. I said bacon bits. Oh, okay, good. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. Well, I'm happy with your jacket potato.

I haven't had a baked potato for a while. Well, maybe in winter. I'd like to know. I haven't been to Hamilton for a while to just walk aimlessly around Center Place and Garden Place. But there used to be this little wagon that sold a jacket potato. Okay. God, it was a good jacket potato. This lovely lady ran this place.

It was this little tiny thing. You're like, where are you keeping all these potatoes? It was such a tiny little wagon. But she had like what, a cupboard underneath? And she'd make the potatoes. Yeah, it was like a hot potato wagon. Oh, man. You can just make one in your oven.

Too much work. I'm going to need to find a hot potato today. A jacket potato. Number two on the list of the top six things you'll find in the Wiggles Rider. A beanbag area and also good supporting pillow because even though Jeff's gone,

wake up Jeff, Lockie still enjoys a nap. He does. So they'll need a good snooze area, just a little bit of a relaxing situation. And the number one

thing you'll find in the Wiggles Rider, well, you've got to wake up after a snooze cocaine. That is today's, that is today's, you've got to deal with kids and sing the same songs over and over. You might need a little, a little. Let's get out there and do this bloody thing. That is today's top six. ZM's Fletch Warner Megan, the podcast. First and foremost, apparently the potato lady in Hamilton's still there. Good. And Tuesdays and Thursdays are baked kumara day.

You're very excited about this. I know I'm going to need a baked potato. Where can you get a good baked potato in here? Just at Balloons over the Waikato. I know. I know. I don't know if she does weekends. Oh, okay.

I'll do more of a weekday treat. Okay. Cheesy savory mince one. We need to schedule some kind of work trip. Yeah. Hamilton. Especially. To Hamilton. Especially for bone potatoes. I'd go on kumara today.

Yeah, you make it a Tuesday or a Thursday. You want the kumara option. We got goats on the weekend. Talked about this yesterday. Got a couple of goats, Harold and Helen. They're cute. Yeah. They are pretty cute.

I had no idea that people were so fond of goats. Because I've put a few photos on the gram and people are like heart face and heart eyes and I love goats and other goat people have come forward and lots of people are like, we had a goat and kind of weird goat memories. Well, yesterday when I was at work, but before school, Shade woke up and Indy wasn't to be found. Okay. She wasn't in

the bed in her bed oh god and Shardé's like oh what's going on here but knowing that she loves the goats she's like

she must be with the goats she'd got herself up early hadn't woken August up gone into the kitchen had food eaten breakfast put her clothes on and she was just

out in the paddock sitting with the goats before school oh my god and she was all ready to go so that she said literally like, you come and get me when we're ready to go and I'll go to school. But before that, I'm hanging with the goats. And I said to Sade, that's weird, but it's also a good sign that she might be one of those kids

that wants to do something before school. Sade said, that's not a good sign. And I said, it is. Ha, you're going to get a taste of what it's like to get up early. And Shardana got talking and neither of us were like before

school activity kids. No, neither. I was in bed. I struggled to get up. That must be torturous for parents because as torturous it is at 10 to 8 being like, you're going to miss the bus. It would be more torturous at half past four being like, get up, you've got to go to this bloody swimming thing you want to go to.

Yeah, I had friends at school, their parents have to take them swimming, and they started at like 5am or 5.30. Ridiculous. Where I lived, there was no heated indoor pool, so in winter when they had to keep doing their swimming if they wanted to be any good at it, they had to go all the way to Hamilton. Did you guys sound lazy?

Before school, it's nuts. I did rowing before school. So that was like exercise. What time did you have to be at rowing? We were on the water by 5 a.m. No. So what time did you get up? Half four.

Yeah. It's calm when, and like the calmest water. Because you can't always rely on the water being like calm if you're doing it up? Half four. Yeah. It's calm when, and like the calmest water. Because you can't always rely on the water being like calm if you're doing it at a harbour. Yeah. In the afternoon or later in the day. So you do it really early. What, what did you, like, what did you eat before you went rowing? I can't remember.

Just toast? Just something on the way. Yeah. Chuck something in the, oh. Just toast. Who took you down there? My coach would pick me up. Oh, see, okay. There you go.

That's okay because your parents didn't stay in bed. No. They didn't stay in a warm bed on a Nelson, like winter and everything. Yeah. Oh, horrible. Horrible. Stay in bed. Horrible.

No. This may have been why I was a fat kid. But, you know, I'm all right with that. Yeah. I got sleep in. Oh. You're going to have to get up early enough as an adult. Like, enjoy a little bit of a sleep in

This is not what parents and stuff want to hear As they're like traipsing to take these kids The kids are like See mum I don't need to know maths And I don't want to do swimming Because all that's going to happen You're going to leave home

You're going to go to uni and blow out Because you're not doing your swimming Yeah you'll go to a You'll go to a A halls of residence Where every night is swimming. Yeah, you'll go to a halls of residence where every night is very carb heavy and you'll be drinking and you won't be able to keep up that early morning fitness.

Yeah, trust me. You're better to go in fat and just continue on the straight and narrow. You can lose weight later. We're speaking from experience. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh no, there'll be a rude awakening in your mid-twenties when your metabolism just slams on the brakes. And you're like, oh, my God, I thought I was fat before.

You'll have a moment where you wake up. This is what fat is. Yeah, oh, my God. Where's my penis gone? Fetch me a mirror. Oh, my God. Basically, you'll be how the ancient Egyptians got light into the pyramids, how you'll have to set it up to see your genitals.

Angles. Angled mirrors. Right. Okay. So if there's anything to take from that life advice, it's... Don't bother doing anything before school. Don't bother doing anything before school. Oh, yeah.

Try not to. Flesh, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast, ZM. This is exciting. There is to be two benefit concerts. The You Are Us Arohanui concerts are to raise money for Christchurch. So there's going to be two, one at Spark Arena in Auckland on April 13 and one in Christchurch Stadium on April 17. So headlining is Dave Dobbin, 660, Anika Moore, Bikrunga,

Fat Freddy's Drop, Teaks, Stan Walker, Mitch James and Marlon Williams are going to perform among others. It's an impressive line-up. Yeah. And yeah, like I say, all the money is going to go towards Christchurch. Now, I can tell you the tickets go on sale for Auckland at lunchtime, midday, March 28 at Ticketmaster. And Christchurch, they're going to go on sale midday, March 29 via Ticketek.

Right. No word on price. No word on price. But yeah, you're donating. Good callers. Yeah, you're donating your money, aren't you? Yeah. That's good.

That will be such a good gig. How many hours is that going to go for? I was going to say, there's quite a line up. Or even if each band or artist had half an hour. Yeah. So you'd imagine

it would be a good, you know, a good half day, definitely. Or unless they did like some seamless like between band situations where like one band starts winding up

and the other one starts playing underneath them like a segue, like a live DJ mixing a concert because that's how it works. I know. It's a good stand down because somebody needs to go

get the drum kit off and get the other drum kit on. Into the microphone. Yeah, that's what happens. Vaughn, you've just nipped into the kitchen here at work. Yes, yes, I have. And I've returned with peanut butter and Marmite because apparently this is what the British are into now. So it's just launched.

I saw this online yesterday. That's not PICS peanut butter either. No, this is just PAMS. This is the other P, peanut butter either. No, this is just Pam's. This is the other P peanut butter. Not Picks, it's Pam's. Because I know you were both like, Picks can do no wrong. Well, it's just great peanut butter.

It's Nelson, you know. It's all good. It's good. Well, we got the full propaganda from Megan's dad when we were down there last week. We're very proud of that. It's not those Chinese peanuts. It's Australian peanuts.

And he's like, what? He's just got peanuts, salt, oil, and that's it. Unless you get the unsalted. But that's why that peanut butter is so good. It's good. It's Australian peanut butter. I just hate peanut butter. It's just.

Peanut butter's the best. I'd eat peanuts, but not peanut butter. Nah, so you ought to only eat peanut butter. So they're mixing peanut butter with Marmite. Now, we're not sure of the exact ratio of how to do this. And whether it's going to be swirled or actually mixed in. Yeah, because there used to be this peanut butter,

and there might still be, but a peanut butter with like a jelly swirl in it or like a white chocolate swirl. I remember these some years ago. Because even when I have Marmite on toast, and I hardly ever do, but I'd put lots of butter and then just like a real... It's a grazing. Just a grazing of Marmite.

A good word. Grazing, that's the word. Yeah, perfect. But then some people have it thick on and I'm just like... See, I'm more of you, if you're going to have it, you've got to have it. I put too much on. I put a lot of. People will often say, ew, back off.

Back off the Vegemite or Marmite. So you've gone into the kitchen and just picked up some random person's peanut butter and Marmite. So now I'm going to mix them in a cup. How much do you reckon Marmite to peanut butter? You've got maybe like half a teaspoon. Two thirds to a third. Of what I've got? No, no, no. Two thirds of peanut butter to probably a third of Marmite to peanut butter because I've got maybe like half a teaspoon. Two thirds to a third? Of what I've got? No, no, no.

Two thirds of peanut butter to probably a third of Marmite, I reckon. Oh, right. Get rid of some of that Marmite. Okay, now mix that. Is that like a two to one ratio? What's the... I don't know. Oh, God.

This is the other thing. They're both hard to mix, aren't they? Because they are. They're hard to mix because scientifically, they are. They're hard to mix because scientifically they are. It sounded like you were having an argument with yourself. These are not hard to mix. They are. They are.

What would you know about mixing? Oh, that's a weird colour. What would you know about mixing left hand? Nothing right hand. And are they going to go for a crunchy peanut butter because we've gone for a smooth here. Yeah, real smooth. From what I'm told, crunchy is we've gone for a smooth here. Yeah, real smooth. From what I've told, crunchy is the better option for a peanut butter.

No, I like smooth. Oh, you like smooth. Is that a peanut butter debate, is it? Well, I don't like peanut butter, so I feel I wouldn't be. Let's have a taste there. Are you going to have any more? Nah, I don't really like it. I'm going to eat that whole spoonful.

You're not going to have any. Why? You've got to at least do it. It looks like caramel. If I've got to do that. Yeah, it does. It looks like when you made, did you ever make icing after school just because you wanted chocolate? No, but we learn constantly that you're a fatty. We've heard

about your after school icing making. You have to have some. That's actually quite nice. Yeah, it is actually quite good. It is actually pretty good. It's like a tangy... It's like a tangy peanut butter. Hey, guys, that's actually pretty good.

I mean, there are people listening that have probably... It's made peanut butter way better. Yeah, there are probably people that are listening that have always done a little slither of marmite and then peanut butter. Yeah. Or vice versa on their toast. Sucks to move from my mouth.

It's actually delicious. That's actually really nice. Why does it kind of taste chocolatey? I don't know No Somebody said I've been putting Peanut butter and marmite

Together on toast Since I was a kid I literally just said That would happen Yeah Yeah that hits us Man that's actually pretty good Everyone always turns

Their nose up at it Until they try it I've not met somebody Do you know what else Would be good on there? A pickle What? A pickle

Peanut butter Marmite And a pickle Are you pregnant good on there? A pickle. What? A pickle. Peanut butter, marmite, and a pickle. Are you pregnant? And then cheese. A pickle at a... Grilled, grilled, and then grilled cheese. I know you're just being silly. No, I think I like this.

I like this. Because a pickle always... You can't go wrong with a pickle because it always has a bit of... Like it's like, this is okay, but I need a little something, something. And it's a pickle goes... In your mouth. And it's always a good addition to chuck a pickle on. Not like on ice cream

but like if you're eating something savoury, I doubt you'd be able to find something I wouldn't like better if it had a pickle on it. Yeah, I was going to say chutney, but that's pickles anyway, isn't it? It is a pickle. Sweet pickles. Yeah. Okay. Pickles are a good time. Well that, I mean I don't know if we've caught you in

the breakfast zone, if this is something you could try. Welcome to the breakfast zone. Maybe you're listening and thinking, what am I putting on my toast this morning? Welcome to the breakfast zone. If we were a radio breakfast show in the 90s, we'd probably call ourselves the breakfast zone. Or the breakfast crew or something.

Or the morning zoo. All the way to The breakfast zone. The breakfast zone. Or the breakfast crew or something. Or the morning zoo. Away to the breakfast zone. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. Your pilots. Directly to the breakfast zone. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast.

ZM. Well, if you've not been listening to the show lately, I've got shingles and I'm not ashamed of it. Yesterday I was shingle shamed. Excuse me? Not by you. Not by you. Not by you, Megan, as a fellow shingle shuffler.

Yeah, I've shuffled shingles before. I just met another shingle shuffler in the kitchen. Somebody said, have you got shingles?

Are shingles going around? No, no, no, they don't have it right now. But it's not. And my friend Johnny, when I went in my group chat yesterday, I said,

guys, I've got shingles. Johnny said, don't be embarrassed, I had shingles. Oh, that's kind of cute that you guys talk to each other. It's weird. Don't be ashamed. You all had a shingle. But it is weird because it's an over, if you Google it, it's traditionally over 50s.

Over 50s, yeah. But lots of people, young, virile people, stressed out in their work life. I'm not ready to not tease you though because when I had shingles, you just, like, went for it. I was in quarantine. You're like, trust you to get an old person disease or whatever it is. Yeah. It's just, I'm a hard to tease because I've got this stupid face and I don't really. Oh, we'll see.

We'll see. Don't bully me. I go home and cry. So, yesterday, I hurt my neck last week, see. We'll see. Don't bully me. I go home and cry. So yesterday, I hurt my neck last week too. So she's, it's all downhill. I'm literally falling to pieces.

And I went to a physio yesterday to have the neck checked and I said, hey, look, before you touch me. Yeah. I just want to give you a warning. I've got shingles

and I showed her and she was like, oh, okay. Don't worry about it. That's fine. I was like, thank you for succumbing me. And she said, I actually just can't believe you went to let

a physio touch you with shingles. Like, oh, it'll cancel. No, I didn't. No, I wanted to go, I wanted to check because it's not where I was just getting this neck part done. It's on your back. And the shingles is right down like, oh yeah, by the belly button range. Anyway, she said, while you're here, acupuncture is really good for shingles.

Because apparently once these horrible scabby blistery things that make me look like a zombie go down. Yeah. My wife might want to touch me again one day when they disappear. And probably not. And I can't blame the shingles on that. And she said the pain afterwards can be quite bad because it's like a nerve thing. Right. So acupuncture is good.

You get it done and it can. And I was like, I'll give it a go. Because I've always been interested about acupuncture. And you've never had it. Because you've had it done. I've had it a few times. I actually quite like it. Yeah.

Because people won't rate it. I'd like it, but I don't like when they flick it. Oh, no, I didn't get a flick. Yeah, or they turn it or they go too far. I've got the turny. The idea is that the pain kind of engages the muscles to repair because there's pain. So I got two explanations of how it works.

One was the chi and the spiritual one and the ancient Chinese medicine of the chi and the body and everything and she could tell even though I was face down I was rolling my eyes and so I got the other one that when there's like

specific injections your body releases like you said things to aid in the repair and natural anti-inflammatories and send everything to that point

to help repair it but it's so fine that it doesn't hurt or something. I don't know how it works. See, I'm more likely to believe that. Yeah, me too. So the needles got stuck in and then I just had to lie there face down.

She's like, I'll be back in 20 minutes. So I'm lying there. I know, and they leave you. And I was like, I need to see this. So I like, my phone is in with my keys and everything sitting in my hat on this chair just at a reach. So I slowly reach my arm out. no no i've done this i've done this don't move don't move because you've got needles and like nerve points and i'm like i'm just and i just had the phone on my fingers and i must have like just the shutting of my hand or something changed and i

was like oh and then i could feel three of the needles. I was like, pull my hand back. And I had the phone. So I turned on the camera and I looked like a rear view mirror. I looked in the camera and I was like, oh my God, my back's covered in needles. And then because I could see, I started freaking out about it. But then I'd had the pain of moving. So I was like, stay still, stay still, stay still.

Yeah, I did that. And then my arms were hanging off the side of the bed. I was like, they stay still stay still yeah I did that and then my arms were hanging off the side of the bed I was like they're getting numb so I picked them up and when I picked one up I like banged

one of the needles on the side and I was like I feel ya I feel ya but when it was just that when I was just lying still

it's really it's so hard to explain people who have had it done know what I'm talking about but it's like it's scratching an itch you didn't know you had but you can kind of feel it what I'm talking about. But it's like it's scratching an itch you didn't know you had. Yeah.

But you can kind of feel it. But I didn't get the flick. It's quite nice when it doesn't hurt. Yeah. And then afterwards, I had to have the full rundown of how it works and the little super thin needle and the points. Because then they just wash them

and use them on the next person. No, I paid a disposable needle fee. Yeah, I know. I was like, Joaquin, that won't do that. Well, you hope that won't. Although the traditional ones, if you build like the big,

long, proper ones, they can be, but it's like surgical equipment. It has to be surgically cleaned before. Yeah, give it a wash. They don't just like wipe it on their T-shirt and pop it back in the shower. Yeah.

You would hope not. You would certainly hope not. So that's tick. Acupuncture tried. Would do again. And would certainly hope not. So that's Tick. Acupuncture. Tried. Would do again. And would do again? Would do again.

Would do again. Yeah. Next time I'm going to be like, give it a little flick. Oh, you love the pain now. I am. I'm trying it. I'm experimenting with it.

ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. What are you currently watching on Netflix? Or what have you watched that stands out to you in the past week or two? I just started the new Madeleine McCann documentary. I've done one episode.

I'm two in to that. But a few people have been saying that's quite interesting. Because what are you two? I don't want to say it's slow. Is it a bit boring? It's a bit slow, eh? But it's more of a documentary

that goes into the investigation. I feel like I'm all Madeleine McCann'd out. I'm intrigued. I don't know. Because it's such a mystery as to what actually happened. Because what year did she disappear? Was it 2007? Or 2009?

So I feel like my entire adult life, Madeleine McCann. It's not like one of those ones like OJ where I'm not quite sure. I remember it happening, but I can't remember all the details. This is like I remember everything. I didn't know a lot. Like I thought I knew all there was, but then you watch the first episode

and I didn't know heaps about. Yeah. So it is quite interesting. Right. Well, it's been said that Netflix is profiting a lot of violent programs, including true crime. And thisiting a lot of violent programs including true crime and this is a bit of a worry and it's not

from like conservative family groups. It's from academics, journalists and mental health experts because they have said that Netflix of the most binged shows in 2018, Making a Murderer and 13 Reasons Why were up there.

So both quite violent. Yeah. And then of the Netflix shows, the eight most binged in 2018, half of them contained morbid themes or a significant degree of violence. So they say, look, if you work at Netflix,'d say, well this is what people want, we're just catering to what people want. But just because people want it, they're asking should it necessarily be provided? Because

if you see that kind of stuff on TV, it does make you more tolerant in real life. But I like to think if you're mature enough, you know the difference. You know that it's wrong. I just finished the Ted Bundy tapes. I didn't know much about Ted Bundy, but wow. That was some...

That was full on. Do you want to watch anything, Amy, mate? Do you want to watch Serial Killers and Child Abductions? I watch Amy Schumer's new stand-up in between. Alright, you've got to break it up. The new Ricky Gervais one, but that was like, while it was quite funny, it was also quite sad. Yeah.

I really like that. So yeah, they say it's pretty worrying. But Netflix have, like, they, when they were a video, like, they used to send out DVDs in the mail back in the day. Did they? That's how they started. That's how they started. They took on Blockbuster and the video places of, like, the early,

late 90s, early 2000s. The podcast Business Wars is like fascinating, tells you all about it. But it says how they have always used data, even from way back then. It's what made them so successful. It's like getting all the customers' data and what they want

and being able to guess what you wanted before you even knew, basically. And they've just taken that like to the next levels. They have pointed to that TV show You With Penn Badgley Which He's an absolute babe

And like we know him From Gossip Girl But they've said You know You watch You And it's actually quite violent But everyone's like Oh my god he's so hot

You can stalk me Yeah This is a worrying dream Like super charming Yeah Super charming stalker Until it's happening in real life And you're like

No stop this. Actually, don't do that. Welcome one, welcome all to the Fletch, Vaughan and Megan podcast, brought to you by Spark. Get four gigs of bonus data on Spark's $49 prepaid value pack. Now, on with the podcast. A tech website, and they sent out like business news that is in stuff to keep everybody up to date and on the business side of things called the hustle uh surveyed 2 000 adults who um identified

themselves as alcohol drinking adults yeah about their online shopping behaviors uh and they came to work out on average they spent 400 a year on items for online shopping while intoxicated. So they took from that number of 2,000 and thought that these 2,000 may represent the drinking population of adult America. Yeah. They worked out how much it would be if that population spent $400 a year while intoxicated and $48 billion was spent on drunken purchases every year. Wow.

So Amazon did the best out of this. 85% of drunk shoppers went first and foremost to Amazon, followed by eBay and then Etsy at 12%. So 12% of people get drunk and want crafts. I need a crystal. I just want to go. I just want to find a little felt bag. A little felt bag with a frog on it.

That's what I need. I think in New Zealand, you'd have to trade me, obviously. Maybe ASOS wants it iconic, yeah. So they said that Amazon did better because of it's really easy to use mobile app. Yeah. So you could do it in the cab on the way home. You could kind of do it anywhere. And it was big and easy to use mobile app. Yeah. So you could do it in the cab on the way home. You could kind of do it anywhere. And it was big and easy to use.

So your drunk fat fingers could even manage it with greasy burger juice on them. The apps are the dangerous ones, like Iconic and ASOS, because all your details are saved in there. And so I go to my watch list and then I'm like, when I'm a little bit tipsy, I'm like, oh, treat yourself. You will look good in that. Why are you doubting yourself? And that's when I buy things.

Get in on it. Yeah. And then sometimes it's like there in two days and you're like, oh, that's right. Whoopsie daisies. So they've pretty much said second only to holiday shopping, drunken shopping. Oh, okay.

As big dollars. Yeah, okay, I've done that too then. Because I was going to say, I've only really got one example that time when we were really drunk and everyone was talking about how great Shakti mats were and I was like, I need a Shakti mat. And then I got it and I was like, it really hurts.

I don't like this. And now it's just wrong. You've just got to keep going. You've got to keep going. Go through the pain. Just get a few guys. Just get a few guys. It's really good for you.

No one can Shakti for the time. No one can do this for 20 minutes. I did get it back out when I had a sore, like It's really good for you. No one can shark deep this time. No one can do this for you. I did get it back out when I had a sore, like, shoulder and back and neck. And how was it? It hurt. I put it back. I rolled it up and put it back. It's still in the wardrobe.

Yeah. I thought about selling it, but then can you sell it because it's been dug into my skin and back? Oh, you DNA. I would never buy a secondhand one of those. I'd never thought about it until you just said that So I'm sure someone would I'll just give it a dithole Like a shakty spray and wipe

It'd rip up like you have to use a I don't know what you'd like a scrubbing brush Because of the hard plastic But what about you drunk shopper? No I don't think so So you're a tight ass when you're boozed as well Yep You get boozed and you fall asleep Right No I don't think so. So you're a tight ass when you're boozed as well? Yep. No, you just get boozed and you fall asleep.

Right. No, I don't think I've ever. See, they don't need to shop. Oh, there was a time at a party someone left their Trade Me account logged on and I snuck in and bought a huge box of buttons on their Trade Me account. Whose party was that? Someone we used to work with. They pride themselves on their wonderful feedback on Trade Me at the time.

So they didn't want to cancel. They didn't want to cancel, so they had to buy this. How many buttons are we talking about? Look at big box of buttons. Assorted. Assorted, that's what it said. Assorted buttons.

Yeah. I think there was some other stuff purchased as well. Yeah, I think there was too. I can't remember, but I just remember laughing a lot. I was certainly the one egging Vaughn on to click buy. As per usual. You don't do the crime,

you egg them on. I mean, Vaughn would be the one going to jail. You'd be guilty by association. I would drag you down. Drag you straight into prison. So we thought on the back of these stats, the fact that it is such a huge business, drunk online shopping,

what have you purchased whilst drunk? And how much did you spend? Was it a drunk holiday? Was it clothing? Was it something you didn't need? And bonus points if you don't even remember ordering it until you checked your bank account. Or it turned up.

Or it just turned up. Well, that's why somebody said, I'm guilty of drinking and buying from Wish. But the thing about Wish is it takes so damn long for them to send it, you totally forget about it by the time it arrives. It's like a hooray surprise. Like AliExpress as well. It takes like four weeks sometimes, doesn't it?

All right. Well, give us a call. 0800-DARLS-ATM-9696 to text with your drunk online shopping. What did you buy? We're talking about your drunken purchases. This is big business for Amazon. So they're quite liking that you guys, they should probably start sending out booze with every purchase.

So you get booze and make some more purchases. Billions of dollars a year. Somebody said, so we want to know from you what you purchased while under the influence. Someone said, I bought flights and accommodation for Coca-Cola Christmas at the park. Okay. I must admit I was a tad disappointed in myself when I woke up the next day. That money could have been spent on far more productive things at that time of year. Yeah.

I was drunk one Friday and came across Gandalf's sword from Lord of the Rings for $500 online. You're like, steal. A week later, it shows up on my doorstep. No idea where it came from

until the wife went to check an auction that she won on Trade Me and not impressed to find that in the winning section. And that's obviously not the real sword, is it?

No, I'd say it's a replica, but they said it's still pretty badass. So they're happy. They're still happy with it. I purchased 10 kgs of whey protein powder while drunk. I was planning on buying the powder, but not 10 kgs worth.

I've got no memory of this. I squirmed at the cost when I saw how much it had come up. And then two days later, two massive boxes of protein powder showed up. Because I buy those big buckets and those are like 2 kgs. Yeah. And if you don't like, because you know when you try a new protein powder showed up. Because, you know, I buy those big buckets and those are like two kgs. Yeah. And if you don't like, because you know when you try a new protein powder

if you gym, you're rolling the dice. Yeah, like a potato is a great idea. It was not a great idea. It wasn't. Dave has called. Dave, what was your

drunk online purchase? What happened? Oh, mate, I was at uni in my first flat and woke up to a missed phone call in the morning

from a random number and I called them back and it was a guy asking me when I was going to pick the cat we bought up. Oh no. Oh no. Brilliant. And of course you had to go through with it. Yeah, we were in a flat of about seven of us, but it was only three of us that had

really pulled the trigger on it. So the rest of them weren't too happy for the next year, I guess. Right, but you still got the cat? No, I'm well out of uni. It was an annoying thing. It used to, we'd get calls all the time from a tag saying, your cat's in our bloody lecture down at uni.

It was a wonder every so often. Oh, I just wanted to go to uni with you guys. So at the end of the flatting year, a lovely lady from the uni came down. She just happened to walk past when we were packing up the flat. And she said, oh, I love your cat. It's always coming down to our office. And one of the flatmates that didn't even buy into it just went, you can have it, and gave her everything we owned for it.

And she took it. I know it's having a great time. Good. Re-home to a good place. Good, because obviously you weren't just going to leave it there, were you, Dave? No. Well, if we weren't, it would end up costing a fortune. Every time we came back up to Auckland for uni breaks,

you had to fly it up and do all sorts. Oh, bless. I was a little member of the family. Oh, my God. Dave, thanks for your call, Dave. Stephanie, what was your drunk online shopping purchase? Hi. I bought an enema.

Okay. Hi. I bought an enema. Okay. Okay. What? Why? I don't. Well, it was New Year's Eve and my sister and I had been drinking quite substantially because we hadn't seen each other for a while. And we were just reminiscing of the things we used to do when we were younger.

And one of the things that I used to do, because apparently it was good for me, was have enemas, according to my mum. And I was feeling a bit clogged up and I obviously thought that was a good idea. That'll do it. Wow. But the weird thing was, I don't honestly remember doing it

and I got it sent to work. Wow. And you open it, you're at work, you're like, what is? Everybody's like, what's that? I'm like, nothing. It wasn't like a coffee enema, was it? No.

Just a plain water one. No, it's a stainless steel enema. Wow. Okay. Coffee's what goes in it, it's not what the enema's made of. Yeah, but that sounds like a sturdy one. Yeah, you wash that. Stephanie, thanks for your call.

Anonymous, what was your drunk online shopping purchase? An ostrich. What? Brilliant. Not meat or anything. You're talking like a real life one. Yeah, like a real life one. Do you have anywhere to put that?

I mean, medium-sized suburban garden and all that. Suburban garden? So what did you do with it? Well, I forgot that I bought it and I got home and it was just kind of there with a note, like a delivery thing, and my neighbour just signed for it. What?! You can't just leave an ostrich... ...in a crutch or something! ...in the garden.

What did you do with it? Oh, and so you had to get rid of it? Some text messages. I wasn't under the influence, but my husband was. I asked if we could buy a goat. And he said, well, you can't just get one goat. It'll get sad. We've got to get a few goats.

So now we've got a few goats. So that's good. That was someone sober getting egged on. You got your goats last weekend. Was that a drunk initial? No. It was sober? Completely sober.

Okay. All of my best goat-based decisions are made sober. Good. Somebody else said, I bought a plot of land on the moon after a few whiskeys. Even splashed out on the fake gold frame that it came in. Showed up three weeks later. I was like, what's this from?

Turns out I'd purchased that myself. Someone's mum bought a very indecent number plate. Now, I didn't think number plates could slip through if they were indecent. What is it? Can you even say it? Well, I don't know. Don't you judge. Was it a different time?

No, it's not. No, no, no, no, no. It's just not the sort of thing you'd want to see on your mum's car. Is it one of the isms? No, no, no, no. It's not one of the isms. Oh, mum. Good Lord. No. Or maybe she likes birds. Show no. It's not one of the isms. Oh, mum. No, no. Good Lord.

No. Or maybe she likes birds. Show me. True. I'll write it down for you, Megan. Write it down. Oh, no. I know.

No, mum. No. Yeah, I know. You'd see that in traffic and you'd pull up along, I always pull up alongside someone with a personalised plate to see who had the audacity to do that. And I look at them and I'm like, most of the time you pull up and you're like,

yeah, that makes sense. Do you think people with personalised plates know that people do that? I'm pretty sure they must, eh? They must. Yeah. No, but people with personalised plates probably think people are pulling up and being like,

he wants to see what kind of crack-up guy bought that other plate. And you're right, you're gawking at him. It was me. Spent a small fortune on it. Flesh, Fawn and Megan, the podcast, ZM. The Australian TV show, The Project, had last night two people on that we want to talk about. They talked to Jacinda Ardern. Waleed talked to Jacinda Ardern. He's one of the hosts of The Project had last night two people on that we want to talk about. They talked to Jacinda Ardern.

Waleed talked to Jacinda Ardern. He's one of the hosts of The Project. And also Egg Boy has broken his silence. Yeah. Now, he was the host that right after the attacks said, because he's Muslim, he said, I'm not surprised by this. He did a huge. A really powerful speech.

Yeah, it was a huge, powerful speech. I think it last, was it like 4 million? Is it now? Views went worldwide. He said, look, not surprised. You know, this is what is happening in the world. This is a reality. This is a reality.

And it was quite a moving, powerful speech. I've seen him do a few. He's very, very clever. And I'm just reading he's an academic and he's a lawyer. He's a fully qualified lawyer and a musician and a media presenter. So if you could just save some for the rest of us. Well, that'd be really nice as well. Yeah.

So first on the project last night in Australia, they talked to Egg Boy. Now his first media interview, and he would have been fielding a lot of requests inundated. He is the young man, the 17-year-old, who after sitting and listening to the senator Fraser Anning, for an hour

he sat and listened to him. Afterwards, when Fraser Anning was talking to the press, he walked up and smashed an egg on his head after what had been an hour of what he said was pretty much just hate speech in front of an audience following the horrible massacre in Christchurch. So he broke his silence last night on Australian TV. What did you think would happen when you threw the egg at him? I didn't expect him to react.

I thought I was going to walk out there. I didn't think this was going to blow up. In fact gonna walk out there. I didn't think, um, this was gonna blow up. In fact, you know, it's blown up completely out of proportion and to the point where it's kind of embarrassing because too much attention is actually brought away from the real victims suffering. We shouldn't be focusing on them. But I just didn't think... I was just gonna show my mates.

It was just meant to be a few laughs. Some mates, yeah. And do you remember what you thought when he started striking you? Not exactly. It all went pretty fast. You know, it was just my instinct reaction which followed. Yeah.

So much better spoken. He's so well-spoken. He's so, yeah. I mean, I was probably like you, Megan. I didn't really expect much. Probably because he, like, I don't know, egged a politician and he was 17. While he was filming it.

Yeah. Yeah. But he went to watch a politician speak, which is also, that's got to say something, if you're a 17 year old lad going to watch a politician speak, you probably get a bit of interest in it. He tweeted, when he tweeted a photo of him egging the politician, he said, this was the moment

when I felt so proud to exist as a human being. Let me inform all you guys, Muslims are not terrorists and terrorism has no religion. All those who consider Muslims a terrorist community have empty heads like Anning. Wow. But he did also, I heard he also said he regretted that it was a physical action.

Yeah. He said he regrets that it was a physical action because, you know, and then violence. He said violence doesn't do anybody any good. Yeah. Yeah. The other last night on the project in Australia, Waleed sat down with Jacinda Ardern, our Prime Minister.

I know you don't want to answer this question, but I'm going to ask it anyway. Are you going to ask me how I am? Yeah. And I don't want you to give me a political answer. I want you to, will you permit yourself to answer it honestly and candidly? I'd like to think that actually when I'm being asked, I've always answered honestly and candidly.

I've actually just avoided the question because the answer is I'm deeply sad. Yeah, yeah. But, you know, there are moments where there aren't cameras and where I've just been with families and it's fair to say that those are very emotional moments. Yeah do you have you had time to be with your family to work through that sort of stuff? Not much but no actually at the moment my time with them probably wouldn't be quality because

I feel such a draw to be focused on doing what's needed for those who have lost loved ones. Too much else feels a bit selfish right now. My family have come to me. You know, we're a very family-friendly environment, and so my family have come and visited me in the Beehive when they can. And I have my parents helping at the moment with Niamh as well. So I'm the last one that anyone should be worrying about. So that was Jacinda Ardern talking last night.

It was a seven-minute interview. You can find it online. She's, yeah, wow, incredible. I reckon you can hear the emotion in her voice towards the end of that. I mean, she's done so well. I haven't even been able to hold it together just talking like we do, let alone dealing with the families as closely as she has. And I've heard even people say like, oh, I didn't vote for her, I wouldn't.

But, you know, she's, you know, made me proud that, you know, she's leading us. Well, she might not hold your same political views, but I think we can all appreciate the job that she's done for New Zealand. And it was announced yesterday that there will be some fundraising concerts in Christchurch and in Auckland. Auckland Spark Arena, the 13th of April. Christchurch Stadium on the 17th of April. A huge lineup of Kiwis,

including Anikamoa, Benny, Bikarunga, Dave Dobbin, Fat Freddy's, Holly Smith's Shapeshifter, 660, and Stan Walker. Huge lineup. Tickets on sale end of the week. You can get all the details at ZM Online. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. Huge lineup. Tickets on sale. End of the week. You can get all the details at ZM Online. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan.

The podcast. I have something I'd like to tell everyone. I've been, well, we've been, my husband and I have been keeping this secret for about four months

and we've been... Like, we didn't even know, did we? No. I worked it out, didn't I? You did work it out. You did work it out. You did work it out. Just, like, out of the blue asked me, what, two or three weeks ago.

Yeah. So it's always been something that has been on our mind, and we were like, okay, one day, one day this is going to happen for us. And I would like to announce... You bought a ride on a lawnmower. Yes. Or a drone. Not quite.

We have opened a cafe. Mr Toyboy and Megan are now cafe owner-operators. I'm a boss lady. You're a smee. What's that? A small to medium enterprise. Yeah. So now we own a cafe. It's that? Small to medium enterprise. Oh, yeah. Yeah.

So now we own a cafe. It's called Beauford & Co. And the reason behind the name is that's where, in South Africa, that's where my husband's family's from, Beauford West. So Beauford & Co. is supposed to be like our family and yours. Yeah. And it's a cheese too, isn't it? It is a French cheese.

Oh, okay. When we went to Paris, we went to one of those little fromageries and asked if they had some cheese and bought probably 80 cents worth. Yeah. And we were so excited. I was thinking 80 blocks of cheese. I'm like, well, I haven't seen any of that cheese. We were so excited.

We danced around and the French guy serving us was just completely baffled as to what was happening. But we can and we do sell a dish that's got the French cheese Beaufort on the menu. So you've had to do all of this, like have a menu and you've been renovating it. It is so hard because I feel like I'm a kid playing shops. I still feel like that. I know, but you have to do like tax and employers.

You're a kid playing shops, but you could go to jail if you don't. If you don't do it right. And people rely on me to get paid now, which is terrifying. Because even people working in the kitchen. Have you implemented some of the management techniques that we've learnt through our radio management

over the years? Have you said that to anybody yet? I've learnt some of the management techniques that we've learnt through our radio management over the years? Like you're lucky to have a job? Have you said that to anybody yet? I've learnt some do's and don'ts. There's a hundred people that would love your job, that would do it for less. Have you had that said to you? That's a classic.

I'm trying to make sure I tell my staff every day how great they are. Oh, really? You're trying that approach? That won't last. That'll last until some of them let you down. Why don't you pay me more? Yeah, I understand

pay negotiations more too now. Did you say, where do you see yourself in five years when hiring any staff? What a stupid question. Still making this

Eggs Benedict. Oh, I'm going to hire the shop next door and open my own cafe and sink this place. What? Nothing.

You put this up on Instagram last night. Did you get any feedback? So lots of people wanted to know if we served eggs Benedict. Do you? Yeah. Yeah. It's a little bit special. It's a twist.

That's the thing. You've got to make something about your eggs Benedict different. Yeah. Right. And then everyone wanted to know if my mum's casserole featured in the restaurant. It should. It doesn't. You should do my mum's casserole featured in the restaurant. It should. It doesn't. You should do like a Friday casserole.

The casserole's only in store on one day of the week. I know. I wish it was there now because that would have been a selling point. Everyone would want to come try it, but it's not currently. Be a good winter thing. I need to get mum up as like a part-time chef so she can do that and her chocolate chip cookies. I don't know if flying your mum up once a week from Nelson

is going to be a great business decision. Doesn't make sense. To make some casserole. Yeah. So I'm now thinking that because I'm away this weekend but the weekend after I could come for breakfast.

You're not getting free marshmallows. Am I getting a free no I was thinking free breakfast. Oh. I'll put it on my Instagram. Absolutely not. Absolutely not a free discount. But do we get a discount?

We're like your friends. But that's the reason we shouldn't be asking for a discount. I saw that on Instagram. Someone was like, if you're a small business and your friends are asking you for mates rates, then that's the very reason they shouldn't be getting them or something. But we're your friends. Like at least a half price discount for the first one. No, half price.

Just hang a bad Google review over your head because you can't edit those. Do you want a one star on TripAdvisor? Don't do this to me. This is, yeah, and no one asked me if I got PayWave, all right? That is expensive. I will swipe your card for you if it's that much of a pain. They take a percentage, eh? Yeah. PayWave takes a percentage. And then if it's a credit card and PayW it's that much of a pain. They take a percentage, eh? Yeah.

PayWave takes a percentage. And then if it's a credit card and PayWave, that's a double dip. Because wasn't it even, was it Burger King way back that said, no, we're not doing, I don't know if they've changed that. It's costing them $25,000 a year or something. Because it's a percentage. It's not a flat fee to have PayWave. It's a percentage of your tax.

They've got to sort that out. That's got to be remedied, right? Yeah. So I'll swipe your card for you if you like. If it's too much of a hassle. That That's got to be remedied, right? Yeah. So I'll swipe your card for you if you like. If it's too much of a hassle. If that's too much, no. Yeah, right.

Okay. I'm excited. What's your signature dish? Because every cafe's got a signature dish. Beaufort eggs. Beaufort eggs. Is that the eggs Benny?

No, that's different. What is it? How are the eggs cooked? Scrambled? Fried? Poached? For the eggs Benny or for the Beaufort eggs?

For your Beau the eggs. They're poached. Okay, could I have it scrambled? You can have it however you like, babe. Okay, that's right. Customers are always right. That was a test. How much do you do for a side of bacon?

Do you do creamy mushrooms? We don't have normal bacon. We have double smoked bacon steaks, but you can have a side of those. Bacon steaks? Yeah. I'm on board. I'm on board. I'm on board.

That's a thicker- That's great. We can talk about this all day. And then on board. I'm on board. I'm on board. That's a thicker, that's like pork belly right cooked and then sliced thick and then fried again. Yeah. Double smoked. Double smoked. Can't wait for my half price breakfast.

I'm so excited. It's not happening. It is absolutely not happening. Can I just get another plug in there for the Instagram? Yeah, it's at BeauFit and Co. Thank you. This is great now.

We definitely need a half price breakfast. You need to spell it. Free advertising. B, it's like Beauford & Co. Thank you. This is great now. Well, now we definitely need a half price breakfast. You need to spell it. Free advertising. B, it's like Beau, like your boyfriend. B-E-A-U. B-E-A-U. Like beautiful, the first bit of beautiful. Yeah.

Okay. Fort, like Fort Knox. There you go. Maybe you should have chosen a name that was, I don't know, like cats. Cats & Co. Cats & Co. Hey, branch out.

It's South African. We're all learning. You're all inclusive. Like we set up on the North Shore of Auckland, which is also South African. Yeah. We're in our hometown. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Today's fact of the day is that the way to a woman's heart

is also through her stomach. Okay. Women are more responsive to romantic cues when they have a full tum. That's absolute bollocks. No. No way. No, they did a study on it. Instead of being anxious, annoyed or irritable when they're hungry,

once they're satisfied, their mind will go towards more romantic and follow more romantic cues. No. Go to the producer's booth. This is absolutely rubbish. When you've just eaten, that's absolutely not the time for sexy time. No, I don't think

that means sexy time. I just think it means, does does it is that what you mean romantic cues romantic cues oh yeah right okay that's what you mean okay producer caitlyn oh my god my boyfriend tries to touch my boyfriend yeah i've got a boyfriend interesting that he appeared in your instagram in the back oh no you've been joxed. Fleece. You weren't saying that. Oh, okay. Is it a little Easter egg there for train spotters? Fleece, you're such a bitch. I just thought it was, oh, no, it's just a random person in the cafe.

I had so much trouble. They weren't in the cafe. They were somewhere else. Oh, were they? Okay. Anyway, you've got a boyfriend. I've got a boyfriend. And sometimes he tries to touch my stomach, like, after I've eaten. I'm like, get the F away from me.

Don't be touching my stomach. At all. No, ever. Just kind of, like, rubbing it. No, no, no. Like, we'll have had dinner, and then, I don't know, like, he'll be giving me a cuddle. And I'll be like, you just touched my stomach. Yeah.

And if you're thinking of giving it a pat, don't. Oh, my God. You don't have a girlfriend anymore if you pat my stomach. You're pretty much like, there's like meals that you eat that you're just like, I'm just going to put it out there and say if we're having this, there's going to be no sexy time for the rest of the night. Chicken korma. Yeah, anything that's like comfort food heavy.

Anything carby aim. Anya, do you agree? What, what, what, what? Yeah, any Indian salad. Salad. Strict no. Yes. But then this study isn't saying you're eating to the point of being like,

roll me to bed, like. No, just after eating. It's not full after a beautiful medium butter chicken is the question. But what about a light salad? Would you be down for some sexy times after a light salad? Oh, yeah, definitely. A couple of hours after. Yeah.

Give me time to digest it. Oh, what, you're going to let the cucumber settle? Shit. Okay, well, they've just debunked your study. No, well, this is science. The post-meal brain activity in response to romantic cues was especially strong in younger women who had reported dieting in the past. When you are fasting, you're entirely preoccupied

and focused on thoughts of food. Not sexy time. Whereas when you're satisfied, I guess it's just our primal coding, wouldn't it be, that, you know, you've just, someone's hunted and gathered for you, then you've been fed, you've got a full stomach, it's time to reproduce. No, that's just absolute lies. But you're saying it's not normal.

After I've eaten, I'm like, I ate too much, I feel bloated, like don't touch me. Especially don't touch my stomach. It's unfair because I know spicy food, certainly I've read a study before that it was, of all the types of food, spicy food was the aphrodisiac. Right. And so you mentioned before the curry situation.

You get yourself a lovely hot rug and Josh. And then I'm like, Megan, I'm too full after a curry. Burning hot take a lovely hot rug and josh. I'm like Meg and I'm too full after a curry. Burning hot take a masala. That's Netflix time. That's lie down Netflix time. And again, while Netflixing under a blanket, don't pat tummy. No.

It's not good. But if you are like interested to test the boundaries of your relationship or you feel like you haven't had a good argument for a while, a tummy pat's a great way to start one. Just reach across, look them in the eyes and pat, pat, pat. It's on. It's on.

So despite what we've heard in studio and already receiving text messages and all about this, do people text in agreement with Megan? They're just saying that it's not a thing. No, when you've eaten. But then that's the thing, this isn't eating to the point of being like, maybe we need to look at ourselves

because we're eating too much for dinner. I mean, we are the third fattest nation. We should be eating more at lunchtime and then a light snack at dinner. That's easier said than done, though. Yeah. At lunchtime, I'm like, well, that was good. And then you get to dinner and you're like, man, I'm hungry.

Like last night, oh, shut up, I made this lasagna. Let me tell you, what a treat. I love lasagna. And afterwards, although you're not eating sexy time because you've got scabies. Well, yeah, that's the reason. Shingles. Shillings. What is it called? Shingles. Yeah. I always have to remember it. Well, yeah, that's the reason. Shingles. What is it called?

Shingles. I always have to remember it's what oldie time roofs are made of. But then I get caught up on thatched roofs. That's a chat for another day. Different roofing materials of years gone by. Corrugated iron. Oh, yeah. That's how you occupy your you occupy long run steel roofing

yep now we're talking are you out concrete tiles yep thatched roofing I've said you've got your old

what about like banana what do they use on the like for bungalows that's kind of like that's a modern thatching ah right yeah

it's a modern thatching with a bit of bit of foil underneath so today's fact of the day is, despite what we've learnt in studio, from some very hungry and opinionated... Be careful what you say. Sorry, carry on. Well, no, you've had a strong opinion.

See how she's coming in with a strong opinion. That would make you opinionated. Yeah, just opinion as a woman, that I'm allowed. You don't have to make it a negative. Jesus. Someone need a tummy pat. Apparently having a full stomach does mean women are more open to romantic cues. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day.

ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. Apple have held a big announcement this morning in California. This time, not an iPhone gadgety announcement, but they've announced that in the fall in the US, which will be what,

our spring, October-ish, they will be launching an Apple TV Plus video subscription service. So just like Netflix, it'll be 100 countries. It'll be no ads, on demand,

available on all of your devices offline as well, so you'll be able to download shows. Yeah. Haven't announced the price. That's what I was going to say. What's their subscription price like compared to services already on offer?

Well, they haven't said yet. I'm assuming that'll come closer to the time. Who and what have they got on board? Well, they've wheeled out a few celebs, like Steven Spielberg, Reese Witherspoon, all these celebs. Apparently, they've got a Jennifer Anderson, Steve Carell original series or movie that's been made for Apple. Oh, they're making originals.

So they're starting. They're dropping $2 billion on content this year. Wow. Which I'm assuming a lot's already been made. Steven Spielberg's doing a series as well. Could probably get a few hundred thousand there and not even actually make anything. Oh, yeah, I've got Brad Pitt on board.

What, you're saying you could do this? Oh, right, okay. Yeah, they'll just let you make it. Oh, heck, how much do you need? I'll be like, 200,000 up front. They'll be like, yeah, yeah, sure, sweet. What's the bank account? I'll be like, I don't know.

I'll just go into my internet bank and I'll copy and paste it to you. Done. They'll be like, what happened to that Brad Pitt project? I'll be go to my internet bank and I'll copy and paste it to you done but I wouldn't have been in that Brad Pitt project I'd be like I fell over but I built the sets do we get our money back

no I built all these sets so I don't know why they like one of the richest companies in the world they should have bought Netflix otherwise don't bother

like if you can't beat them buy them if you can't beat them buy them otherwise you're gonna have to subscribe to every single

I know this is a every single streaming platform. I know. This is a problem. One of the Netflix guys came out like a week ago and said, we're definitely not part of this Apple thing. Because everyone was like, well, maybe it's when they bought Beats by Dre. Yeah. Although that kind of ruined that surprise.

Apple TVs came with Netflix apps loaded on them. So I'm guessing that's going to stop. Yeah, I don't know. Because I think they're going to offer a few, like they might offer HBO and other kind of channels as well that you'll be able to get on Apple TV, which would be good. And whether it's like $10 a month. But that's the thing.

You end up on Netflix and then you've got like a neon or a light box. All adds up, doesn't it? I want to just say now to my parents, I'm not setting it up for you. Because your parents have got the... Don't even tell them about it. Don't tell them about it and they won't know. But I thought they're starting to use their Netflix now. They are. They're using Netflix.

They're complaining because they don't get as much sleep now because they're like, do we watch something? And then it suggests something else that you might like. The next episode's starting in 5, 4, 3, I haven't pressed start, 2, it's started, now we have to watch it. Well, something that, do you know, they've made it on, I don't know if this has always been a thing,

but I thought maybe not because it was different, is I paused Netflix and I went away for ages and my screensaver comes on, Apple TV, and then all of a sudden it just kicked back into Netflix showing a trailer for something else. I was like, oh. Because it knew you were back. Well, it knew that I was away. So it wanted to get me back and for something else. I was like, oh. Because it knew you were back. Well, it knew that I was away.

So it wanted to get me back and watching something else. I was like, God, they're bloody cheeky, aren't they? Yeah. They know how to get us. Clever. Do you watch a trailer? Yeah, of course I do. Might watch it next week.

ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. We know that people lie on Instagram. In fact, there was a story about the vegan lying just yesterday. Oh, she'd been eating meat secretly for a year. She's been eating fish and stuff, but promoting a vegan diet and doing a 21-day vegan cleanse. If you're going to lie about being a vegan, don't waste it on fish.

Like, get in for some bacon. Popcorn chicken. Steak, bacon. Oh, popcorn chicken. This is why I couldn't Like I can do The odd meat free dish But oh popcorn chicken

And bacon Southern style chicken bites Mints Yeah Fried chicken and bacon Would get me Yeah How do we always get back to food?

I was talking about lying on Instagram So this turns out is like a trend One in six people are doing this. This is crazy. They are posting pictures of their home on Instagram, but it's actually an image of someone else's home. So like a picture of someone else's tree here. So your friends come around, they're like,

oh, you still live in this shit house apartment. Well, I guess your friends are lying for you too. Maybe they're just not calling you out on Instagram. Right. Yeah. So this survey was done. That's so weird. I don't see the point of doing that.

I know. So some people, this survey was done at the Ideal Home Show in the UK and respondents said that they admitted buying furniture and furnishings, posting the pictures on Instagram and then returning them to the store. That's way too much effort for me. I'd rather just go to Kmart or, you know, like one of the furniture stores, like go see Lily at Big Save, pretend it's my couch and coffee table. Take your own do they?

Yeah, take my own do. I'd peel off the little for sale stickers they put on. I'd be like, oh, check out my new couch and coffee table. Oh, my God. I wouldn't. I don't know what people gain. What they want to make it look like they're living this lifestyle that they're not. Yeah.

So a quarter of people said they were so envious of other people's pictures on social media, it made them miserable. Half of the 18 to 24-year-olds said they wouldn't buy a house unless they knew it would impress their friends on Instagram. Wow. But then that's like choosing holiday destinations because they've got like a cool beach. No, because you're still getting a holiday

out of it. Yeah, true. And then 17% said they pay more for a property if they reckon it's going to look good on social media. But then that's weird because you're going to pay more for a property if they reckon it's going to look good on social media. But then that's weird because you're going to pay more for a property because it's going to

look good on social media because it's a better property, right? So that kind of goes hand in hand. If you've got two properties to choose from and one's got an infinity pole,

which one are you going for? Probably the infinity pole. Of course you are. But that's not because of Instagram. That's just because you've got an infinity pole. But also it would look

great on Instagram. But what if you bought a house because lots of people buy, you know, like the worst house on the best street and then do it up and stuff. That's the way to go. But like are they not posting it on the gram because they're ashamed of it? No, renovation pictures are huge. So you wait until you've renovated it though. You're not like doing the for sale sign outside your house at the start.

You're going to post the before and afters. No, because then you want to do people can be like you've got wonderful taste. Hey you've done your place in this wonderful taste. You should just be proud

of the fact that you managed to buy a house. That you have a roof over your head. Yeah. I mean we say that but we've got to stop stop this.

Stop what? Stop wanting everyone to be jealous of our lives. Yeah. And yeah and comparing yourself to be jealous of our lives? Yeah. Yeah, and comparing yourself to what everybody else has got through

drastically different circumstance. So, stop that. You'll never be happy. Yeah. But then we all know that we know this, don't we? We all know this, don't we? That we want a cute house.

That everybody else's Instagram is their highlights. Yeah. You know, we all know this, but yet it still affects us. Yeah. You do you. It's got real deep we all know this, but yet it still affects us. Yeah. You do you. It's got real deep all of a sudden, hasn't it?

I mean, we know this, but I'm still going to do it. So is everyone else. Let's go back to making people envious over what we were having for breakfast. Yeah. Those were that simple Instagram days. Oh, the simple old days.