ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Megan Podcast - May 04 2018

Episode Date: May 3, 2018

Vaughan fell asleep while getting a wax, Friday Flashback and what are your partners bad habits?See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is the Fletch, Vaughan and Megan podcast, brought to you by Spark. Capture life like never before with the Samsung Galaxy S9. I told you you should have done it, Megan. No, I tell you, that was great. Hello, good morning. Welcome to the show, Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. You're going to deal with the rumours of the new Dunedin Hospital and the top six soon, boy. Yes, the top six things that can work about having a hospital in an old chocolate factory. Yes.

It's a great, it makes good sense, right? Very central. Yep, it is. Is it too central? I would have thought it was too central for a factory, so it can't be too central for a hospital. Trip over and hurt your head in the middle of the city, is it too central? No, Vaughan. No, it's not.

It's perfect. If you trip over at the Duned the city, is it too central? No, Vaughan. No, it's not. It's perfect. If you trip over the Dunedin Airport, is it too central? Yes, but the Dunedin Airport is miles from anywhere. They asked for this. They more or less asked for it. All right, you lot, listen up. It's story time. Story time.

Three news headlines that have found interesting, unusual, odd news stories. Vaughan and Megan, you pick one headline. You know the drill. Headline one, cool dude saves the day. Cool dude. Headline two, gun show ad poorly placed in newspaper. And headline three, costly mistake for man.

One. You like one? Cool dude saves the day. What about costly mistake? Okay, cool dude. No, I do like that one too. He like one cool dude? What about costly mistake? Okay, cool dude. No, I do like that one too. He's a cool dude. This is, sorry, it's just loading. Okay.

Do you not have all three stories committed to memory? No, I just open them up. I feel like we've been lied to for years. What do you mean? I've read the story. Sometimes I'll open up the tabs. It's Friday Vaughan, to be honest. I've given up.

I've given up. All right, we go now to Florida, where a Florida man is being hailed a hero for taking action when he says nobody else would. Now, his name is Brett. He's a certified EMT, which is what? Emergency Medical Technician. Yep.

Soon to be paramedic. I didn't know there was a difference. I think it's just a matter of training, right? It's the next step up. I'd say so. It must be the next step up. Well, anyway, he was on his jet ski on the water in Florida where he saw a boat on fire.

I'm going to show you the photo. Look at that boat. Oh, wow. Engulfed in flames. You know what that looks like to show you the photo. Look at that boat. Oh, wow. Engulfed in flames. You know what that looks like to me? Ah, bloodlines. Did you ever watch that Netflix show, Bloodlines? Do you know, I watched the first couple of episodes

and I was like, I could get into this and then I'd stop. The first season was really good and then you can tell almost like they finished the season, someone watched it and they were like, that was really good. What you need to do is just go back

and reshoot one little last bit that makes it look like there's season two. Oh, you're right. And then I started watching season two and I was like, eh. But season one was really good. I'd love to see the stats from Netflix about people that tap out, eh? And where they tap out. I think they've done something like that before. Isn't it four

episodes and it's got you? Yeah. For a season? Yeah. Well, anyway, the boat was on fire and obviously a lot of gasoline on the boat. He decided that he would get a run-up to the boat on his jet ski, and just before he got to the boat, turn sharply to spray it with water. That's right.

Cool dude Brett put out the fire with his jet ski, and has been hailed a hero. I didn't think that would work. I thought you were going to say that spread the gasoline and it burnt. Yeah, or like he smacked into the boat. So he drove the jet ski as fast towards the boat as possible, turned it the last

second to spray the burning boat. He sprayed the blaze for about 10 minutes before the black smoke turned white. That's probably how long a boat would burn for anyway, right? Ten minutes? Well, no,

it didn't disintegrate a sink or anything. So he put it out pretty quickly and they were able to tow the boat back to shore and he's being hailed

a hero. So Brett, Brett, Brett, Brett, Brett, Brett, Brett,

Brett, Brett. Oh, you'd hope someone witnessed that or got photos. Did anyone see that? Did anyone see me do that? of a boat on fire.

I'm sure, yeah, maybe I'm sure the people on the boat had to jump out at some stage. Have we got a picture of Brett? No. Okay, in my mind, he's Zac Efron in Baywatch. Oh, no. In my mind, he's not that cool. He's like 40. He's overly tanned.

He's got reflective lens sunglasses on and it's like one big lens. Like cricket players wear or cyclists used to wear. Yes. Like that. He's probably got a bit of a mullet. Oh, his glasses are on one of those wetsuit material safety bands around the back of his head. But he'd be a madman to be on a jet ski and not have some sort of apparatus holding his sunglasses on because he goes pretty fast. Because he's a cool dude, Brent.

He's a cool dude. Disappointing international news heading into the weekend is that New Zealanders are paying more for beer than most other countries. I know. Well, why is that? A pint of beer in an Auckland restaurant costs on average $9.05. So I know. How much is your RSA?

Like $4 and I'm drinking a Carlsberg. They call it the posh beer because everybody else just has the other thing. You've got to get your glass out of the fridge, but I don't get my own glass out of the fridge because Carlsberg's got a special glass. Right. Right. Because you're fancy. Because it's fancy.

I don't know how many other people are drinking it. But then they're just like, oh, $4. So this is quite mind-blowing. Okay. That this place looks at, I liked earlier in the week, didn't we talk about the barbecue price index around the world? We're paying a lot for a walk and chicken. But now I'm telling you that beer is also expensive here

if you're drinking it in a restaurant. So they took the average from a whole lot of Auckland restaurants. Auckland was chosen as the city to represent New Zealand into this international study, given that it's our biggest city. And they surveyed the price of beer and the average for an Auckland restaurant was $9.05, international study, given that it's our biggest city. And they surveyed the price of beer, and the average for an Auckland restaurant was $9.05,

making us 24th equal in the most expensive places in the world to get beer. Because you hear that from tourists that we are an expensive country. We know this. We live here. If you go overseas, you see what other people pay for, like fruit and veggies and stuff in supermarkets. You're just like, whoa. And now we know about beer.

Yeah. Australia, beer's expensive in Australia to buy from the supermarket and the off-licences, eh? I've always been really surprised at how expensive beer is to buy in Australia. But is it cheaper at the, like, bars? No. Australia is, oh, no, sorry, Sydney, yes. Sydney is cheaper than us, not by much, $8.75. Japan's also cheaper. Canada, South Africa Not by much. $8.75. Japan's also cheaper.

Canada, South Africa was quite surprising. $2.92. For a beer in a restaurant. For a beer in a restaurant in South Africa. But then you've got to like... Everything is cheap. If you go over there as a Kiwi, you're a millionaire. It's like, it's quite, that's one of the good places to go.

Then you could get carjacked on the way home. Yeah, I mean, you're running the risk. The cheapest beer that this international survey found in was in Venezuela. Oh, yeah. Averaged a dollar for a pint. 500 mils. Wow. A beer, a dollar.

Again, running the risk of being carjacked in Venezuela at the moment. Surprisingly, London was more expensive than us. Right. Also, Paris and France and New York and the United States was also more expensive. Oslo, this is in Norway, was $14. I've heard that Norway's expensive.

Very expensive. Iceland, it was $15.59 was the average price for one beer in a restaurant. The most expensive though, Dubai, $16.80. the average price for one beer in a restaurant. The most expensive, though, Dubai. $16.80. Oh, just everything's expensive there. Yeah, Dubai's quite an expensive spot. Yeah, because we got a coffee when we did the whole show there for a week, didn't we?

Yeah. And got those coffees, and it was like $9 for like a coffee. Yeah. We're just like, what? But everybody there is earning tax-free income, so they just get used to it. You pay more, you earn more, but you sure pay more for it. So, yeah, New Zealand, not the cheapest place to get a beer. Another great reason to preload.

Even if it's before, this was restaurants, by the way, so ordering a beer with a meal. So even if mum or dad, or maybe you've got a lovely romantic dinner with a significant other this weekend. Yeah. Preload. Well, then they wonder why we preload. Yeah, that's what I mean. They encourage it. They're like, why does everyone turn up really drunk?

It's because your beers and artides and spirits are so expensive. Sarah, would you like to see a menu? There's festivals around the world that are going eco-friendly. So there's somewhat, I guess you'd call it like a festival collective. Well, a lot of festivals in New Zealand do the reusable cups we've talked about. Yeah, you would have found them. Well, I know because I just get too drunk and I forget to get my $2 back. And it's the principle.

Oh, and then you have to carry your cup around. But we're saving the environment. So there's a number of British festivals that have made a pledge to ban not only single-use plastics on their sites, so anything that gets served will be in, like,

eco-plates. Any cups as well will be either reusable or recyclable. Straws, everything. But also, glitter. So you know how people go to festivities

and put glitter on their face? Oh, no. Paint glitter around, like, especially girls, like, on their face? Oh no. Paint glitter around like, especially girls, like on their eyes and... Well, so they won't be allowing anyone with glitter on their face in?

You won't be allowed glitter, no. What, are they going to have a washing station at the point of entry? I know, because you think about festivals like... I can understand banning people doing the glitter applications there.

No, you'd have to put out just like anything before a festival, say glitter's not allowed. Like a camera or whatever. That's pretty, if it's on your face and you're in the line, what are they going to say? You're not coming in? Probably. Rough.

So, you're like, what's glitter doing? But it's like microbeads. Remember when they banned microbeads? Which is in exfoliants and everything. Yeah, glitter's bad. So, it's just a tiny piece of plastic. Masquerading is like fun. So you wash it off and these tiny bits of plastic never break down.

They go into the water and everything and then they collect together. But there is, you know, you can get like eco-friendly glitter that when you wash it off will dissolve. So they were allowing that. But I also don't know how they tell which is which. And how does that not, when you start sweating or you're in the sun at a festy, how does that not just melt off your face? Maybe it does.

But you can, I think you've, I've seen it on ASOS where you can get eco-friendly glitter. Right. But yeah, I don't know. Seaweed and... And I also, yeah, how, and when you rock up to the gate and you've got glitter on your face, are they just going to ask you if it's eco-friendly or if it's normal? No, I remember reading a big thing

about the people who had started making it. The seaweed glitter. Oh, I thought you were making it up as like a joke. No, bio glitter. Right. There's a New Zealand... Yeah, you can buy it online in New Zealand.

Lush do it as well. Because you know how Lush do the soaps and stuff and they've got glitter in them. They've got glitter in them. Yeah, because I asked. That's who's telling me about it. Right. Lush. I often pop into Lush do it as well because you know how Lush do the soaps and stuff and they've got glitter in them yeah because I ask that's what she's telling me about it right

Lush because you get a bath bomb well I love a bath bomb for myself I won't lie to you but my kids will do anything for it LOL doll

and a bath bomb so you're bribing them with bath bombs yeah yeah yeah you're bribed everybody's good today and you do what you're told bath bomb and an LOL doll

and they'll just be like yes sir such a match yes sir and just do exactly what they're told, bath bomb and an LOL doll. And they'll just be like, yes, sir, such a match, sir. And just do exactly what they're told. But that was there. I said to them, what's this in the bath bomb? Because it looks like glitter, and I know glitter's no good.

And she was like, well, I'm glad you've asked. She couldn't wait to tell you. I know, she loved telling me. And we had a lush chat. So what is it? How do they make it sparkle? It's seaweed. It's dehydrated. From what I can remember, it was dehydrated seaweed.

That they colour? No, some of them don't even need a colour. Some of them have a natural sparkle to them. Right. I'm just reading about the ones they sell on ASOS. It's eucalyptus trees that have been sustainably farmed. But it does say that it breaks down in warm, moist environments. So how does it stay on your face?

If you get warm and sweaty. Which is the warmest and the moistest of places. Yeah. Yeah, because once the glitter goes in the bath, it lasts for a little while and then it kind of disappears. And then it's kind of gone, yeah. Okay. Which is great for my wife who hates glitter

and also hates cleaning a bath because I'll happily walk away from it. To Houston, Texas now. This popped up and I thought I would totally do this. Okay. It's a Houston city project called Adopt a Drain. Adopt a Drain.

Adopt a Drain. I've heard of Adopt a Highway. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They do this. They do this highway and you get a little sign with your name on it and you just go out every now and then and like pick up the rubbish on the side of the road. And companies will sponsor like a couple of miles. Yeah. And just get their name on a sign next to the freeway. Send your interns out for dangerously long times on the side of busy roads picking up

rubbish. I was going to say though, what do you get out of it? There's got to be some. Yeah, right. Or just like an ego stroke. That's the reason I'd want my name on the side of the road. But also kind of like they did it because the side of their freeways was so littered with trash.

It's quite disgusting in America in some parts. They just chuck the rubbish out the window, eh? Yeah, they don't care. So it's the rubbish that's also a problem with the drains. A little ad here. This is how Houston promoted their Houston Adopt-A-Drain program. Houston's diverse, and whether you wear high tops or heels, boots or ballet flats, you can

help prevent future flooding in your neighborhood by adopting a local storm drain. It's easy. Visit Houston Adopt-A-Drain.org and claim your drain. Then put on your favorite shoes and head outside and show your drain some love by keeping it clear of leaves, trash and debris. Help keep

Houston beautiful and prevent future flooding by making a huge difference in our community. Claim your drain at houstonadoptadrain.org. So the general idea is you've got the one outside your house so you'd always be able to just walk outside and see what the deal was. Because they have a lot of problem with flooding, don't they? Yeah, rubbish blocks it.

I mean, if you live in suburban anywhere, you'll see this as well, especially this time of year with autumn, leaves get in there and just cover the holes and then if it rains heaps, it just blocks it and it floats. So they did this program where you could go online and claim a drain, the one outside your house or the one

closest to your house, and you just keep an eye on it. Do you get to put a sign like Vaughan's Drain? Maybe. But it's got to be something in it for you, because otherwise you could just do that anyway Take responsibility Well that's the thing I don't know But I've technically adopted the drain outside my house

Because we kind of live at the bottom of the street So if there was a really bad flood We'd probably get a little bit of wet feet But the drain outside I'm always cleaning that out Well you've adopted your drain So technically if that's all it takes I've adopted my drain.

I just go out there and clean the thing. See, that's yucky though. I don't know. However. Right. In Houston, when you went online to the website mentioned adopted drain. Yeah. When you claimed your drain, you also got to name it. Oh, okay. With no checks and balances.

No rules. No rules. Wow. What happened? Wow. These are some of the favourite names. Okay. Drainy McDrainface. Oh, yes. That was coming.

And Boaty McBoat Drain. Although Boaty McBoat Drain, they've missed the point there. It should be Drainy McDrain Drain. Yeah. Drainy McDrainface. It's Draining Man, hallelujah, is another one. Oh, that's good. I'm on a night drain, fill my cup.

That's Guns N' R a night drain, fill my cup. That's Guns N' Roses, tip of the hat there. One drain to drain them all. Lord of the Rings reference. Yep. This is the drain where Ted Cruz steals the bodies, which is following up on that conspiracy theory that the Texas Senator was also the Zodiac Killer. Yep.

Loose, but if you look into it, yep. Snakes on a Drain. Drain the Main Vein. John Drain Gacy, who was a serial killer. Yep. Mass Hole, which... Yeah, we get that. That's a problem.

Preeny's Wet Hole. Adopted by Preeny. Yeah. Huge gaping hole. Yeah. Because then if you report the problem as well, if you've got a problem that you believe is beyond your help, you have to say, hi, it's Steve here.

It's Preeny. I've got a massive problem with huge gaping hole. Yeah. It's blocked. I can't seem to unblock it. It's not a surface issue. It's underneath. Yeah. So, yeah, they've put no checks unblock it. It's not a surface issue. It's underneath. Yeah.

So, yeah, they've put no checks and balances in, so people were just naming anything. Lady Jane Drain. Purple Drain. Oh, yeah. Prince reference. Blue Eyes Crying in the Drain. Blame It on the Drain.

Oh, yeah. Insane in the Mem Drain. Which is great. That's good. That's good. And those are the ones that we can read out. Yes. There's a lot there that can't be read out.

The Top Six with Vaughan Smith. Today at around about 11 o'clock, the site for the new Dunedin Hospital is going to be announced. Now, strong contender is the recently defunct Mondelez Cadbury Factory. Okay. I want to say Mondelez Cadbury Factory. Otherwise, what is that building going to be used for?

Well, they said they were going to turn it into something. But didn't they crowdsource to take over the factory or something? Or to make the chocolate here? Or to make chocolate in Dunedin maybe? I don't know. But if the government comes in with a whole lot of money being like,

we need to build a new hospital. Yeah, true. Don't tell me an international company is not going to be like, okay, if you have to. Isn't that voice? Yeah.

That's how the government makes them a successful. No, no, no, it wasn't the government. That was an international fact. International conglomerate. That's what they all sound like. We don't want to pay tax.

The top six things that can work about having a hospital in an old chocolate factory. Now, I know they're probably going to have to pull the factory down and build a new hospital, but let me have this. Let's imagine that they literally don't change anything apart from make the chocolate factory into a hospital. Okay. Number six.

The big cooking oven. Yeah. That was used for chocolate making. Will now be used to cook patients who don't make it. For what? Cremation. Oh. Just crank it up a bit higher than you would.

Maybe for like dinner or... Yuck. Hey, a push comes to shove. Well, you can use the ovens for dinner as well. Yeah. Yeah. Temperature's as well. Yeah. Yeah. Temperature's slightly different. You might get a real hard pork crackle if you burn it at too hot a temperature.

Number five on the list of the top six things that could work about having a hospital and an old chocolate factory. Well, we talked about the big cooking oven for disposing of the patients who don't make it, but how do they get there? That big-ass chocolate sucky tube that Augustus Klump got stuck in. Boom, straight up there. Yeah. Boom. Boom.

Boom. I imagine that's how it works. Yeah. You just fly around. I'm basing a lot of this on Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. I know you are. A lot of it. Number four on the list of the top six things that can work about having a hospital in an old chocolate factory. I know you are. A lot of it. Number four on the list of the top six things that can

work about having a hospital in an old chocolate factory. Hospitals always smell like disinfectant, poo and vomit. Right? That's a fair call. Not this one. It smells like chocolate, lollies, disinfectant, poos and vomit.

So it's still got the original hospital scent but it's also got chocolate and lollies in it. Okay. I'm trying to imagine how that would smell. It's not good, is it? No, it's not great. No. It's not great now that I think about it.

And there'd be like old chocolate stains around and you'd be like, is that chocolate or poo? The great question of our age. Number three on the list, the chocolate coating machine. You know that maybe chocolate coated fish or chocolate coated anything. Yeah.

That can be filled with plaster and be a new cast making machine. That's good. It's what you go along the conveyor belt with your broken leg or you put your arm on it

and it goes under and it goes and squirts it all over your arm. Yeah. And the stuff that doesn't get used falls down

and goes back in. And then does it stamp you? And then you go along. Does it stamp your cast with the Cadbury logo? And then tinfoil wraps it. Yeah. And when you take it off, you'd be really careful because you're saving the tinfoil for something special. Yeah.

Or caramilk casts. Oh. Because imagine having a cast made of thick caramilk. Like, as your arm got better, you could start eating your cast off rather than having to get it cut off with one of those scary sounding sores. You can't wait six weeks. That'd be gone within the first few days. Yeah, and you'd get ants. Imagine waking up with your broken arms covered in ants.

You're like, this wasn't foolproof. It turns out. Number two on the list of the top six things that can work about having a hospital and an old chocolate factory. Dark chocolate is good for you. Fact. Yep. So you can have an IV

of dark chocolate. Oh, yum. Yeah, plug me into some of that 80% plus dark garner. Not Duncan Garner. Don't put Duncan Garner in. I don't want Duncan Garner in me.

I've said that all along. Not a fan of having him inside me. No. Did you try it and you didn't like it? Well, that's the thing. Don't knock until you've tried it. Try it. I don't know.

Very judgmental. And the number one thing on today's list of the top six things that can work about having a hospital and an old chocolate factory, Oompa Loompa Nurses. They sing you a wee song as they help you out. Oompa Loompa doopity doo. I'll give this container for you to do poo.

We want to see what's wrong with your guts. Cause poo's coming out of your butts. That was rough. I'm no Raoul Dow. But he had time. He wasn't freestyling a whole book, you know?

On the spot. Great guy, though. Great guy. Wrote erotic novels before he got back into... No idea. We're rereading. We just said last night, the girls were rereading Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.

Lazy grandparents. Always said it. Like, oh girls were rereading Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. Lazy grandparents always said it. Like, oh, can't get out of bed, can't work, can't contribute to the household. Free trip to the chocolate factory. I'm out. I'm ready to go. You bastard, Grandpa Joe. You're going to be looking this whole time.

You should have got at least a sort of a janitorial position. That's today's Subsex. The Queen has finally met her grandchild. Grandchild? Great grandchild. Great grandchild. So it's been eight days, and it seems like, for all accounts,

this is the first time that she's met Prince Louis. But it wasn't the fact that she took eight days. It was the fact that she took an 18-mile helicopter ride from Windsor to Kensington Palace. Get it. If I was the queen and I had a helicopter, I'd take the helicopter. What kind of helicopter was it?

Oh, it's a real flash black one. Yeah, it looks real fancy. No, it's dark maroon. Is it? Yeah. It does look very flash. I don't think I've ever seen a maroon helicopter. It looks like it's pretty.

Oh, yes, yes, yes. It's one of those long ones. And she has the man with her with the nana blanket and the steps so she can sit down and then he gives her a blanket. Is it one of those itchy nana blankets? Yes, it is. She's the queen. She deserves better.

I see old people with itchy blankets and I'm like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. You've served the country. Can someone please get this old person a blanket that's not going to cause skin irritation? No, but she's wearing one of those itchy tartan skirts that nannas wear too. But they love itchy.

We're not in the 1940s anymore. Get yourself a nice soft cotton. We've invented synthetic fabrics. Like embrace them. No need for an itchy blanket. Did your parents ever have an itchy blanket across the backseat of the car? No. Nothing worse.

Okay. Nothing worse. So yeah, she took, it was 40 minutes and it's 18 miles because obviously traffic and everything. She didn't want to deal with it. London traffic's notorious for, you know for traffic jams, isn't it? She's not going to take the tube. She also brought some flowers but it's like a little handful of flowers from her

garden. It's like, you took the helicopter. Find me a big ass bunch. She'll decline. No, she blew all her money on helicopter gas. She can't afford flowers and you always get flowers on the way. Right. You can't buy flowers once you're in the air. She's been called lazy for taking a tiny helicopter ride, which I've And you always get flowers on the way. Right. You can't buy flowers once you're in the air. Once you're airbound.

She's been called lazy for taking a tiny helicopter ride, which I'm imagining was probably five minutes. No, it seems it was like 40 minutes. What's the... Yeah, half of it's like taking a ride. But it's 18 miles. It's like 20 k's. It would literally be five minutes.

Are you sure it's not 40 minutes to drive? From the helicopter after a 40-minute flight. See, that's not lazy. Is it? Plus, she's really, really old. But 18 miles. I mean, in the traffic, it's going to take you ages. I'd take it everywhere.

Just down the shops. Well, this is the pilot. G'day, Countdown. Am I allowed to land on your roof? What's the deal with that? I don't think Countdown roofs are reinforced for helicopters. Aren't they? Aren't they? I'm just going to land on top of some of the cars in the car park then.

Cleared for landing? No, absolutely not. Grudge it then. Cleared for landing. That would be the first and the last time I'd take the helicopter to the supermarket. You'd be the worst person to win Lotto. You'd be very wasteful. I'd be dead within 10 days.

Yeah. Because I'd take the helicopter to the supermarket without any idea how to land it. Okay, well, could we ask the question this morning? That's apparently lazy for the Queen. Yeah. To take the helicopter. But how lazy have you been? What's the laziest you've been?

I mean, we don't have helicopters. Okay, here's an example. Like, last night, there were work drinks and people were like,

we're just going to go down the road to the bar. It would be seven minutes walk. You're wearing flats though. Like, some people are wearing heels. Seven minutes.

None of the females were wearing heels because I did a check. Because I know this because I'm used to it. You. She's strangely well. And half of them are like, we're just going to get an Uber. And I was like, by the time it gets here and then you're stuck in traffic, we're going to be there 10 minutes before you. Yeah, but it's much more fun being stuck sitting down.

You go down the hill and you're there. Like you get a one-star rating because they hate that they've gone out of their way to pick you up. Can they give you a one-star rating for a short ride? So I think a lot of, I think some Uber drivers, Uber, Uber, that's the rip-off to Uber. Thailand Uber. The Thailand Uber. They do, they penalise you because they feel like, oh, you know, they could have been going to the airport. I don't know.

I just, that's how I justify my tiny rating. Yeah. Yeah. I've got a tiny Uber rating. It goes down and I do nothing. I don't talk to them. You don't talk. You do short rides.

Yeah, I just do short rides. You could ride for longer if you want a better rating. Yeah. But no, no, no. Like, how lazy? Like, when you could take, when you could literally walk, but you take the car. Yeah. Your laziest achievement.

Oh, having kids is really great for this, because you're like, I bet you kids can't find Dad the remote. He might be lying on it, too. So there's the challenge. It might be under me, and I'm a heavy boy, so get digging. But that's the thing. It's like, some people, if they can can't find their remote they just won't get up or change the channel.

They'll just sit watching what they are watching because they're that lazy. Like how lazy have you got? Your laziest achievement? 0800 dials at M. F.M. The Queen took a helicopter ride

to go and visit her new great grandson. For the first time Prince Louis took her eight days but she's been called lazy because she took a helicopter across London from Windsor Palace to Kensington Palace.

But there's traffic. She's 90-whatever years old. If we had a helicopter, we'd take it. She's just sitting there. We're asking you this morning, and you can call us now, 0800-DARLS-AT-M-9696. Your laziest achievement. This makes the Queen look like she's running a regular marathon.

Right. I live right behind the supermarket. You can literally see the back side of the supermarket. It is a one-minute walk. I've only done it a couple of times as usually I drive to the supermarket. What? And it's probably to get like delicious treats, right? I'd imagine so.

Yeah. We live in a two-story house. I have a mini fridge in my room because the kitchen journey involves stairs and often seems like Frodo's mission to Mordor. Like a little, like, motel or hotel mini fridge. Yeah. I don't like those because they hum. Yeah, they make a horrible noise.

Sometimes I turn those off. And then everything defrosts, defeating the purpose. It's not my fridge, though, is it? Oh, no, no. You're saying in the motel. Yeah. You turn it off. And then everything defrosts, defeating the purpose. It's not my fridge, though, is it? Oh, no, no. You're saying in the motel. Yeah. You turn it off. Okay.

I had crutches from my ankle surgery. Yeah. Even when I got off them, I kept them because I could turn the light switch off from in my bed without having to get out of bed with the crutches. Oh, my God. That's genius. Jane, your laziest achievement, what is it? I am a teacher and

the amount of things I get my kids to do is ridiculous. Oh, you've got a tribe of slaves. What was that, sorry? You've got a tribe of slaves. Yes, I am. You can't even just be transparent and call the game slavery. Slavery?

Yeah, okay. Like what? I want the door opened or heater on or off, my drink bottle's on the other side slavery slavery yeah okay that's what it is like what if I want the door opened or heater on or off my drink bottle's on the other side of the room

I want it they they try to get it for me that's brilliant wow well they want to be teacher's pet don't they so

oh they sure do they know what to do and then the ones that are trouble you just get them doing tasks that involve them not being in the classroom

anymore exactly thanks Jane Ali what's your what's your laziest achievement? Well, I broke my back a couple of years ago, and I was in hospital for quite a while, so I couldn't get up to go to the toilet.

But when I finally could, I just pushed it out a little bit longer so that I could keep the catheter in so I didn't have to get up to go waste. Oh, my God. Most people would say those are horrific. That is brilliant. Ultimate laziness, though. I can't be bothered to go to the toilet. Leave it in a few more weeks.

Wow. Wow. That's actually to be admired. Yeah, isn't it? All right, Ali, thanks for your call. Joseph, what's your ultimate lazy achievement? One time I was watching TV and it wasn't quite the right volume, but I couldn't find the remote,

so I just downloaded the TV app on my phone to change the volume. So you didn't, but it took you, and the amount of time it took you to download the app, log in, set it up, you could have got up and looked for the remote. Yeah, but who wants to, like, move when you're watching TV? Yeah, he found a spot. He was comfy. He was comfy, comfy.

Thanks, Joseph. Some other text messages in. I live right next door to the Z station where I also worked. Yep. There was a gate in the fence, so I could literally walk through the fence and be from home to work. I drove every day. Brilliant.

But why? I don't know. They would have had a dedicated car park though, eh? But they did it at home too. I would have actually left my car at work. Yeah, when you live down the road from work, Megan, you'd drive up the hill to work. Yeah, that's what I was going to say, down the road,

but, like, it's literally up a hill. Yeah, but then you'd be like, oh, there's no parks, and you'd have to drive back, halfway back down the hill and have to walk halfway up the hill, and you would have been at work five minutes before. But also in summer I'd get sweaty, and I didn't want to turn up to work sweaty. Fair call.

Fair enough not to be sweaty. A couple of text messages to finish. I still live at home. Brackets. Sadly. Close brackets. Yeah. Our house is two-story.

Oh, so I don't know if it's sadly the house is two-story or sadly they still live at home or sadly both. Anyway, I ring the landline so mum and dad don't know it's me calling and I get them to bring me stuff. Because I can't be by the climbing treacherous stairs. You need parents like mine. They would just tell you to piss off, get it yourself. F off and get it yourself and get out of home as well.

And they seriously do that. That's a mummy's boy, eh? Yeah. Mum's just loving that. When I was getting ready to go out one time, I was planning on wearing ripped jeans, but I was too lazy to shave all my legs, so I just estimated where the rips were

and only shaved that part of my legs. That is genius. But I mean, once you'd started, the hardest part is starting. Yeah. What about like if you picked up or you pulled? Oh, and they're like, why are your legs patchy? Yeah, they're just like smooth, running your hand up your leg. Don't you judge me.

Smooth, rough, smooth, rough, smooth, rough. Rough, rough, me. Smooth, rough, smooth, rough, smooth, rough. Rough, rough, rough, rough, rough, rough, rough, smooth. Yeah. That's a good point. Yeah. I don't know, because I was going to say you'd just quickly have a shave when you got home, but then you wouldn't because you sound like lazy. Megan's pick for Friday Flashback is coming up at 8.

I can't give you any clues because we don't know what it is yet. Do you know Megan tried to outsource her work No, I've been collaborating to a call centre overseas aka the producers and they've failed to help you. We've been doing a collab and as of yet we haven't Well, you've got half an hour

and six minutes to pick a banger Megan. Okay. Half an hour and six minutes It was the weirdest way of saying 36 minutes. No, but do you know why? Oh, yeah. Do you know why, though? Because I said half an hour, but then I saw the time,

and I was like, it's not right. I'm misleading people, so I added the six minutes on. I'm up there with those people I hate that say it's 45 past two. It's not. It's quarter to three. No, technically they're not wrong. It's 45 minutes past. It's the worst when it's like 20.

They say 40 minutes to three. Oh, yeah. That does make sense. It's not. It's quarter to three. No, technically they're not wrong. It's 45 minutes past. It's the worst when it's like 20, they say 40 minutes to three. Oh yeah. That does make sense. It's 20 past. Yeah, hey, call us old fashioned. Kiwis are getting better at this one thing, marriage, because we are marrying and divorcing less.

Now, we are marrying less, but that's due to like the actual marriage stats of how many people are getting married hasn't changed. The population's just grown. That's a good thing, right? We know people aren't rushing into marriage. Not that divorce is a bad thing. Well, you've had one. I plan to only have one.

But isn't the average like two? One and a half, two? Well, it's once you pipe the count stop. It's Pringles and divorces. Okay. So in 1992, there was 18.3 couples per 1,000. So 18 couples per 1,000 were getting married. That's a lot lower than I...

I don't know what I thought that number would be, but I thought it'd be more. Now it's 10.9 couples in 1,000. It's nearly half. So we're getting married less. We are getting married less and the divorce rate has dropped over the last 25 years. Is it because we're getting a,

religion is less of a factor in our country now as well? Like you'd say it was. I just think that the whole idea of it, you don't need to get married. If you're going to live together and have kids, you don't have to get married anymore. And even like, if you do think, how long ago was it, the last stats that you're comparing it to get married. If you're going to live together and have kids, you don't have to get married anymore. And even like, if you do think, how long ago was it,

the last stats that you're comparing it to? 1992. So 25, whatever, blah, blah, blah. That many years ago, there still would have been that pressure from the generation before that if you're going to have a kid, you've got to get married.

Yeah, yeah. And now maybe that generation's, they're the grandparents now and beyond, so it's not as, you know, it's not as pressured. You're not as pressured. Yeah. It's not even as many people getting married in a year that I would have thought. So in 2017, last year, 8,001 divorces.

Yep. So you can pretty much double that for how many people getting married. Last year was your divorce? No, the previous year, 2016. Okay. And also the median age for getting married has gone up as well. So maybe that could correlate. We're more mature when we're getting married, maybe.

So, Caitlin, this is good news for you because you've got that pressure to get married at 27. And you're how old now? 27. No, it's just because I put the pressure on myself because I was like, I would have thought I'd be like... So the average age to get married for a woman in New Zealand now is 31, Caitlin.

Oh, that's good. You've got years. 28, 29. I've got three years. And a half. Three and a half years. Yep. Because I want to have like a serious relationship

before I get married as well, so I need to do that first. And coincidentally, we've known you for three and a half years and you've been harping on about this for three and a half years. Harping on! So if you take the last three and a half years... Where are you going with this? I don't know. I'm getting scared out.

I started with the intention of saying how I was going to be like how quickly three and a half years can pass, but I now regret venturing down this road. Really? It feels like it's dragged three and a half years. No, I don't think it's anything to do with you. Yeah, well, I mean, I think I could do a Khloe Kardashian and get married within three months.

Oh, yeah, that's worked really well. Yeah. For her, both times. Yeah, but there's definitely people that have got married quickly and it's lasted. And it's lasted, yes. Yeah, that's worked really well. Yeah. For her, both times. Yeah, but there's definitely people that have got married quickly and it's lasted. And it's lasted, yes. Yeah. True. 31.

Okay, that's good. I don't know what that says. So marriage rates are down. What's down more, marriage rates or divorce rates? Because you said marriage has gone down as well, so then it might still be the same percentage of marriages and a divorce, but there's just less marriages and less divorces. Or are we going for a more quality over quantity?

I think it's more of a quality over quantity. Yeah, quality over quantity. So the marriage rate has kind of stayed pretty stagnant, but there's like lots more people in New Zealand. So that's brought it down.

Right. The population growth or something. Well, Fletch, what's the story with you, mate? You're above those average ages now. Also, I love that like we've put in marriage for, what are we called? What's the story with you, mate? You're above those average ages now. Also, I love that we've put in marriage for, what's it called? For like, men and men can get married.

What's that called? Oh, true. There's far more options to be married now. Oh, this is going to be bad for the institution of marriage. Civil unions. There were civil unions, weren't there? And now there's official marriage between same-sex partners. Yeah, but the marriage rate

is better now. It's better, but less people are getting married. Yeah. Huh. Okay. I hadn't thought about that.

There's so many more options to marry. Yeah. But the marriage rate hasn't gone up. And the divorce rate's gone down. Because I said at the time

there'd be a bunch of gay dudes that were in relationships and when it became legal the person's like, well, we can finally get married. And they'd be like, okay, I've been meaning to have this conversation. I was quite a fan of that law because it meant I didn't have to have this awkward conversation with you. But I don't want to get married. All right, before we get to today's rounds, which I think will be divisive,

let's talk about yesterday's victors. Now, we are doing this on our Instagram, FVMZM. You basically vote for your favourite Kiwi treat. They get eliminated when they lose. Yeah. And then eventually we have one winner. It's in the stories part of Instagram. You just click.

It's one of those sort of polling voting things. You just click on which one you want. And it tells us, it gives us a very good indication. People are so passionate. It's good. But I'm not surprised. There have been thousands and thousands of votes. Yeah, we argued enough just trying to decide what we were going to put in there.

Well, yesterday, the big bicky battle took place. This was between the Shrewsbury and the Hundreds and Thousands biscuit. And Fletch, you'll be pleased to hear Hundreds and Thousands taking it out by 4%. Yes! 54% of people. What about the magic in the middle? Not enough. See, I like the magic in the middle.

It's surrounded by the dry, crusty shortbread. Yuck. Next up was the battle of the chocolate coated or the coated chocolate. This was Jaffers versus the Peanut Slab. Peanut Slab beating Jaffers. Peanut Slab getting 62% of the votes. So it's goodbye to Jaffers and congratulations. See you in the next round of Peanut Slab.

And could they be up against Shapes? As Shapes took out Spaceman 6, ratio 2 to 1. Yeah, that was a bit of a hiding that one, wasn't it? Yeah, it was. Shapes getting on in there. Goodbye, Spaceman 6. Will you school them Spaceman 6s? And in the tubbed ice cream round,

I put my weight behind goody-goody gumdrops. And I used to have some weight because of the goody-goody gumdrops. But it wasn't enough to dethrone Jelly Tip, who are going through to the next round. Jelly Tip, 57% of yesterday's votes. That was a hard one for me because I like both of those. Yeah, it's just ice cream's just delicious in general, isn't it? We would have both, yeah.

It's very enjoyable. So those are yesterday's results. We've got another couple of rounds to announce now, and you can vote on our Instagram, FEMZM. This is the Kiwi Kids Party Classic. Is it going to be chip and dip or Cheerios? And by Cheerios

we mean little red sausages. We don't mean Cheerios as in that yucky cereal that's always disappointing. Oh yeah, yeah. Chip and dip or Cheerios? Now the dip, is that the disgusting onion-ness reduced cream dip? You can have... Or can you have whatever dip you want?

Whatever dip. It's traditional Kiwi dip. Oh, is it? Yeah, yeah. It's traditional Kiwi dip. Savloys. I'm going Savloys. Savloys Cheerios.

You're going on the little processed meat sausage versus the chip and dip, the classic Kiwi combo. I'm going chip and dip with lots of dip. Because I don't like the dip. I'll eat the chip, but not the dip. But I feel like chip and dip are going to trounce. They have to go together. Producers, what are we thinking? Well, I don't eat cute animals, so...

You bet. Savaloys aren't animals. It's not really even meat. It's miscellaneous. It's miscellaneous. It's misc meat. Definitely chip and dip. I think because I have bad memories of Savaloys,

my flat mate Always had Savalois Every night Like that was him Really? Always left them boiling And we were like Turn your savers off

Oh no When the skin peels off And did they kind of Gash open Yes To the point where The water's almost gone Like just sad

And we're just like Turn them off mate And they actually get Real swollen Yeah And they're pretty grim really And then you look at The water that's left And it's almost brown And they're pretty grim, really. And then you look at the water that's left

and it's almost brown and you're like, how? So just a little of the nightmare of the sad, so chipping dip. You have just dirty politics, the Cheerio. Oh, yeah, I know, actually. But the Cheerio's a classic. Like, whenever we used to go to the supermarket, Mum would be like, do you want to get a couple?

And they'd be like, can you leave the bag open so that you can scan the packet? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So you're voting Cheerio? I'm yeah, yeah, yeah. So you're voting Cheerio. I'm full Cheerio, baby. Let's go. She's making her mum actually scan the bag when she just... Yeah, yeah.

Yeah. Pushed it down behind the milk. When you get round to the dairy section. Well, at the moment, early results on that. Chip and Dip taking a big lead. Yeah. Big lead. If you'd like to change it in Cheerios,

you can vote at our Instagram account FBMZM. Yeah, that's disappointing. And the next round, this is the Battle of the Bite-Sized Babes. It's Fruit Bursts versus Hubba Bubba. Hubba Bubba,

a classic. Great flavour. That's the most famous one. That's the one. I haven't had Hubba Bubba. Do you know, is Hubba Bubba. A classic. Great, great flavour. That's the most famous one. That's the one. I haven't had Hubba Bubba. Do you know, does Hubba Bubba still last in flavour about 30 seconds? Yes, correct. Okay.

They haven't worked on that, have they? That's why you put the whole pack in your mouth. Oh, what a workout for the jaw. Oh, yeah, it is. You're dribbling. Fruit bursts, though. Good for a roadie. They're a good lolly. Just a classic lolly.

And everybody's got a favourite flavoured fruit burst, don't they? I'm not a fan of the banana. I like the banana. Lemon and lime's my fave. Yeah, that's my fave. That's a great fruit burst. And what's the berry one? Berry burst, is that one?

Berry something? A mixed berry. Lime? Did you say lime? Lemon and lime. Strawberry. Is it a strawberry? There's a grapefruit. And what's the berry one? Berry burst? Is that one? Berry something? A mixed berry. Lime? Did you say lime? Lemon and lime. Strawberry. Is it a strawberry? There's a strawberry. Oh, the purple one. What one did they get rid of? There. Was it the grapefruit? I can't remember. There's a couple there that I really don't like.

Like jelly beans. So I'd probably be more inclined to go for Hubba Bubba in this round. Really? I went Hubba Bubba because it just brings back nostalgia of putting the whole packet in my mouth. But I learned how to blow a bubble inside of a bubble using Hubba Bubba. There's no better bubble gum to blow bubbles with than Hubba Bubba. How is that possible?

You blow a bubble and then you seal it off, chew it, and then blow a bubble inside the bubble. Yeah. I know. It's not just a string of bubbles. It bubbles in a bubble. No, it's... Go on.

Sorry. No, no, no. But then if you can get really good at it, you could blow, like, a bubble inside of a bubble. Inside of a bubble. Oh, wow. I know. I'll show it to you one day if you buy me a packet of Hubba Bubba.

I would love to see that happen. Well, if they win, I'll buy you a packet of... If they win this round, I'll buy you a packet of Hubba Bubba. Okay. So Fruit Bursts versus Hubba Bubba. And Chip and Dip versus Cheerios. The two rounds we're announcing this hour for our Food Fight Kiwi Treat Edition. Yep.

Go along to our Instagram and vote. So we didn't got a wax yesterday. Back. And a little while ago they offered me a nose as well. I can't let you do that. I can't let you do the nose. I let people do the training on me. If there's anybody there that needs to do the nose.

It's so good. It's so... It doesn't make your nose bleed? No, it doesn't. It's really weird. The first thing I'm going to do, you should see how much hair comes out. It's really satisfying to look at it afterwards.

I've seen them online, and they just stick a waxy sticker up your nose, wait, and then pull it out. Don't you need the hairs up your nose? Oh, no, you don't get the ones right at the back, the filtering ones. Just the ones that stick out and look a bit like old Manny.

Right. Okay. And I don't go to a hairdresser because I'm bald. I go to a barber to get my beard done, but it doesn't take as long generally as hairdressing did. That's a good chat. But you know how you have like a good chat with your barber or your hairdresser?

Yeah. You have a good chat. Well, it's the same with like the waxer. I've never had my downstairs waxed. Yeah. That would make for awkward conversation if they were just trying to keep it. What do you talk about when you get lasered? What do you talk about, Caitlin, when you're getting your Brazilian?

Everything. Yeah, you do. I have a really good relationship with mine, and we just chat about everything. I'll even talk to her about periods and stuff. Oh, she probably doesn't hear that. She's in the area. It's so gross. I know. Sorry. That was really that. She's in the area. It's so gross. I know, sorry.

That was really gross. Yeah, she's in the area because she's looking at it and you're describing it and she's like, now I've got everything Also, she's seen at least 600 different vaginas

probably that day as well. Yeah. That tiny. I don't ask her what my vagina is. I don't think anyone's seen 600 vaginas in a day, are they? Well, you know.

So, you just talk about everything. Right. And I think you just feel, maybe you feel relaxed because they're, you know, they're... At ease.

So, we talked about empanadas. About what? Why are you talking about empanadas? South American, I've got this place we've got to go to,

by the way. A new restaurant. Yeah. The true empanadas. Calabria. Your Calabria. See, see. See, see. Empanadas. And those other things. Like. A new restaurant. Calabria. Your Calabria. Si, si.

And bananas. And those other things. Like a crushed green banana bun. Oh, I don't like those. Oh, you don't like those? It's like a plantation-y kind of a, no, like a taro. It's almost like taro. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's like a green banana. Not a fan. It's like a starchy nana. So we have great chat. And just talking about everything. And she said, do you get tired? I said, yeah, like 100% I could fall asleep right now if we stopped talking

while getting my back done. So I'm on my belly. But that's painful. I've had it done so many times now, it's not really. It's just like having sellotape pulled off. Oh, right. But also it's not a highly sensitive area. The back. No, I've had the belly done once and I would never get it done again.

That hurts. The chest and the belly. That was a wacky radio competition. It was a wacky radio competition. So get that done. Yep. And we're just talking about how, you know, easily I can fall asleep anywhere because, you know, constantly tired, blah, blah, blah.

And then from there, shirt on, into the different area and a reclined chair to get the nose done. So I'm in a reclined position with wax up both of my nostrils. Yeah. Hot wax up both of my nostrils and sticks protruding out, getting ready for the pull. Like a walrus. And I fall asleep. I fall asleep.

It was the first time. Happened twice. The first time is one of those where you wake yourself up. Yeah, right. For some reason it's always like, and you're breathing through your nose. You might recall I've got hot wax up my nose. And then the sticks go, just like batter me in the face. And she's like, did you fall asleep?

I was like, I did. See, I gave you a great example of how easily I can fall asleep. And then so that is, she's like, three, two, one, rip, rip. That wakes you up pretty much, pretty quickly. Getting your nose hairs tugged out. And then she's like, oh, put the manahot on just a minute and just had to tell somebody something. And I just fully

out to it. She came back, she was like, hey, hey, hey. Because obviously she doesn't want to wake me up by ripping my nose hairs out. Hey, you falling asleep? I was like, yeah, I know. Leave me. Sorry. It was just, it was you falling asleep? I was like, yeah, I know. Leave me. Sorry. It was just, it was the perfect reclining.

Yeah, right. It was everything. I was like, asleep. It must have been so weird. Do they have gentle music playing? No, no, no. And there's like, people getting their eyebrows done in that area and everything. But I was just, yesterday I was so tired.

Fell asleep with hot wax up my nose. Also, yeah, hell of a, hell of a, and I had to be like, see, we were talking about how easy I could fall asleep and I've given you a great example of how quickly. Yeah. That must be so awkward having to wake up a stranger. Do you like rub them on the arm? No.

Yeah, I don't know. Do you give them a wee kick? Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, you're falling asleep. Lucky I didn't go deep. Friday Flashback. It's Megan's turn for Friday Flashback, a warm up for Friday Jams. Okay, so I forgot that it was my time today, so we had a lot of deliberations over the show.

I got two out of three thumbs up from the producers. But this kind of came to me, to us, because it's very topical, shall we say, for two reasons. Okay. So, shall I give it away by saying that this... Oh, I know why she didn't like this. She didn't even know about it. What do you mean? I had to explain this meme to her this week.

Oh, yeah. So, okay. Oh, that's right. She's like, can anyone it. What do you mean? I had to explain this meme to her this week. Oh, yeah. So, okay. Oh, that's right. She's like, can anyone explain this to me, please? So, the band is very topical around the month of May for a meme. Also, this band just got a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame this week. So, I feel like if you're going to play this song, this is the week to play it. Yep.

Today's Friday flashback NSYNC it's gonna be mine be mine brilliant alright CDM ooh yeah

you might been hurt babe that ain't no lie just send them all come and go Remember you told me, that it made you believe in no man, no cry Maybe that's right Every little thing for you, never seemed enough for you

But you don't wanna lose it again I'm not like them, really when you find the beat To turn up somebody, guess what? Every little thing I do, never seems enough for you But you don't want to lose it. I'm not like them. Maybe when you find out me. I get to love somebody.

Guess what? It's gonna be May. May. May. In seconds, your Friday flashback. It's gonna be May. Of course, the memes, they always come out on the 1st of May with Justin Timberlake from his NSYNC days.

It's going to be May. No, it always comes out at the end of April. If you're posting it on May, it's too late because it is May. It is May. It's going to be May. You've got to post it on the 30th. Yeah. Yeah.

Or like the week later. But then you see all the American ones and they're a day late, aren't they? Yeah. I had to explain that meme to intern Anya this week. She said, I don't get it. Yeah, I've noticed the last few years it's been popping up around this time. I thought, what does that mean?

But I just never worked it out. And also, I didn't want to feel like a loser Googling a meme. Excuse me, www.google.com. What does this May mean? Why is everybody posting pictures of Justin Timberlake?

Did you think he actually said it's going to be May or did you know it was May? I don't think I've ever heard that song before

How did you not hear that song? I don't know It goes deeper to people because You're morphing into mum

Patrick just sent a photo of two minute noodles No. It goes deeper, too. I'm morphing into mum. Patrick just sent a photo of two-minute noodles with it's going to be May. Oh, yeah. Because his hair. At the time, Justin Timberlake's hair looked like two-minute noodles. Yeah. I like that it's evolving. People were just happy to have it. It's going to evolve every year as well.

Good feedback, though. Just quickly, Megan. Yas, Queen, what a banger. Megan, what were you thinking? Oh, in breaking news, I've just blown one of the speakers, blasting this absolute banger. Worth it. Worth it.

I was waiting for the song to cut out, and you guys would be like, no, we're just kidding. We're not playing that. I'm sorry, Megan, but today I hope you push a pull door. What does that mean? What does that mean? You know when you go through a pull door and you push it and you're like, oh, did anyone see that?

Yeah, they did. I think I've injured a vocal cord. Good. It's good. I think that's pretty good. Yeah, no, overall, overall positive feedback. I want to talk about a guy named Luke. He's 28 years old and he had a pretty common but yucky habit

of biting his fingernails. Now, his girlfriend was like, please don't do it. It's gross. Yeah. But he kept on doing it. He said he used to bite his nails all the time.

It was a nervous thing. Yeah. And one day he bit the skin on the side of his nails. I do that all the time. Like chew the skin. What do you call those bits? Hang nails?

I call them quicks. Quicks. But you're talking about the nail. He's talking about the skin around there. No, no, no. I'm talking about the skin around there. I've got a couple of crackers at the moment. There's a good one.

I pulled that. I ripped that down in eight. It hurts so much. And every time I pull it, I'm waiting for it to go full black, sworn, and just go all the way up. You always pull it down, not up. But anyway, he had a nasty one. He bit down and he was like, oh, that hurt.

Didn't really think anything of it. That's when he got a bit unwell. He felt a bit unwell and his fingers swelled up. He went to bed and he slept until 2pm. His mum was like, are you okay? Couldn't wake him up. And that's when she called the hospital, called the ambulance. And the doctors have now said that he is lucky to be alive after he developed sepsis,

which is blood poisoning, from biting his fingernail. So what, he bit and then something went into his bloodstream or infected it? Must have. Is that how that, I don't know how that happens, but it doesn't sound great. Your immune system goes into overdrive. It can attack itself and cause all your organs to shut down. So he couldn't wake up pretty much. His girlfriend was right.

Stop chewing your nails. I think she poisoned him to prove a point. But I would like to know, since his girlfriend was like, oh, yuck, stop doing that. There's bound to be filthy habits that your partner nags at you to stop doing. Now, you could be the partner dobbing in what they do that's gross, or you could be the one that's being told off for doing this gross thing. What about Mr. Toyboy? He'd more nag you because you've got a few things, don't you?

Yeah. I also bite the skin around my nails. Yeah. I chew my cheeks, which he hates. Can you hear that? I chew my cheeks. No, but I make faces. I can just see it doing. hates. Can you hear that? I can chew the insides of my cheeks. No, but I make faces.

Well, you can just see it doing. Yeah. Because then sometimes you bite too hard and it bleeds. You're like, oh. Oh, I got it. Sometimes you get on a good row.

Yeah. And you go, oh, yep, we've got a bit of loose skin here and do a bit of that too. You get a real, I'm like, oh, my cheeks are sore today. He's like,

would you just stop? Like, what? It's a nervous thing. It's the same as biting your fingernails, I think. Right. But he doesn't have any.

But, Bourne, you would have... Oh, I've got a ton. Listen, my along. This. I check if I've got anything stuck between my teeth by blowing a series of air and saliva through the teeth. That drives Sade nuts. Yeah.

I slurp drinks when they're too hot. I slurp drinks when they're too cold. I chew off a fingernail and then use it to just make sure I've got nothing between my teeth. You always do that. Yeah. My beard's long enough now

where I can get it in my mouth and I'll be going like this. I know he twirls it and puts it in his mouth. Put that in there. That drives you crazy. And then if a hair comes off, I'll play with it for a while.

I'm an absolute monster. Because it would look like you're molting pubes around the house from your bed. Yep. And my pubes. So there's bed and pubes around the house. Okay. She's got a big list. You don't have a list about her.

Nah. Not at this time in the morning. No. There must be something. Oh, she throws out, oh no, because that's not like a dirty habit. She just throws out food when it's not bad. Like, she made this delicious Fijoa cake. And there was like a little bit of mold on the bottom.

And she's like, bin time. I was like, excuse me, I'll just cut that off. And eat it. And I'll eat the Fijoa cake. Which, again, grosses her out. So that's another one of my bad habits, eating moldy food. So you've got way more. In fact, any of mine basically just, any of hers rather are just basically mine.

Okay. Oh, 800 dials at end. 9696. Your partner's gross habits. A guy in the UK, his girlfriend would say, don't bite your nails. It's gross. Stop doing it. And he chewed the nails. It's gross, stop doing it. And he chewed the nails and even a little bit of skin off

and it ended up causing him a hospital trip. He ended up in hospital. With sepsis that could have killed him. You know, you read these stories and this guy is in the UK where this happened and you're like, well, what are the chances? Nick, this actually happened to you. Yeah, so I got an infection from biting the skin off the corner

of my nail. And I ended up with a poison track running kind of from my hand up my arm in the hospital to see if it was another day that I waited. It would have pumped into my heart and then around my body. And you would have what? Died? Yeah, virtually.

Oh my god! Oh my god! I've bitten and chewed my teeth and my nails all the time. Yeah, I didn't think it would get that bad and I mean, I don't do it anymore but... How far down did you gnaw? What are some signs you should look out for?

Was it like pussy at the fingertip or what? Well, it kind of puffs up and then you get a red line. I've had that. And I just showed my dad and he kind of just said, oh, here's a concrete pill, you'll be sweet. It'll go away. Can we say that's their kind of advice?

Stands up at your funeral, he's like, well, my son's a pussy. Bit his nail and now he's dead. Good. So what should you do? Just put a little bit of Savlon on it and not bite into things. What should you do? Well, I ended up staying in a hospital for a few days just on a drip to kind of fight the infection because my immune system wasn't doing enough

to fight it. I had to go on a drip. That's insane. So that is why your nag, your boyfriend, don't chew your nails. Yeah. Wow. Nick, thanks for your call. Alex, we're talking about those annoying habits that your partner might have,

those gross habits. Alex, what's your partner's? Yeah, so she has three of them. The one that drives me up the walls is probably when she goes to the fridge and pulls out the milk bottle and just drinks straight from the milk bottle. She does that? Yeah. Because to be honest, I saw that it said Alex and then like three bad habits.

I was like, this is a female Alex ringing up about her male partner. But I pray you've put him in the wrong. Oh, no, no, no, no. Oh, no, no, no, no. Wow. What are the other two? Are they as nasty? So she also bites her nails, which is, okay, it's bad on its own,

but to top it off, she's a paramedic. Oh, yeah, she could have anything under there. Oh, yeah, I didn't think of that. They're always wearing gloves, though, aren't they? But even still. Yeah, she was telling me about how she got blood in her finger the other day. I was like, ugh. And then she bites her fingernails.

Oh, no. Oh, no. And then she bites her fingernails. Oh no. Oh no. Alex, thanks. You're cool. Bree, this is your ex with a bad habit.

Oh yeah, he used to pick his nose and then eat it, which was disgusting in itself. Yeah. But one day he gave me a kiss

and I got one of his boogers and I was like, no! Bree, that is just... Oh, that's too much. Is that why he's your ex? It's definitely one of the reasons. One of the reasons.

Wow. That's romantic, isn't it? Romantic. Okay, Brie, thanks for your call. Some text messages in. My husband's feral. He wipes or scratches any part of his body and then sniffs it. But I get that. If I scratch

under my arm, I take that as a good time to just be like, how's that looking down there? But you wouldn't do that for your butt though, would you? Not my butt. I know that stinks. I don't need to sniff. Well, it's a butt, you know. If it's not been washed for like an hour

or maybe like three hours, it's going to be a stink. It's its not been washed for like an hour, well, maybe like three hours, it's going to be a stinker. It's its job. Don't judge the butthole for being stinky. There should be no judgment passed. Fair call. But, you know, good time to test it there. My husband hates using tissues,

so he blocks one nostril and goes, anywhere too. Oh, my God. That is grim. Yuck. Somebody said, my husband eats with his mouth open. See, I don't know how you married him.

Yeah, no, that's, you'd never get past dating. No, no, that would be a dating, an absolute dating no-no. I make spit bubbles. It's a bad habit I've had since I was a kid, but my missus absolutely hates it. I can't do that. Do those people that could shoot a little bit of water out of their mouth? Wait, wait, they go like that. And it would come from under the tongue, eh?

Yeah, yeah. Like milking your saliva glands. Why do you want to get good at like... Not anymore, but intermediate, that was all I wanted to do. I know, same! At school, I was like, I wish I could do that. Somebody said, maybe it's just my wife, but it seems some days my breathing will even annoy her.

Sounds like she can't stand you. That'll happen. Lots of nose pickers. Can you just stop doing that, please? Stop breathing. Your breathing's frustrating me. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day Today's fact of the day

If you heard Just music down there please If you heard And then What would be something you would imagine? Tumbleweed. Yes, there she is. Yeah.

Tumbleweed. Is that it? Can I turn the music back up? Yeah, you can turn the music up. And that would be in like a cowboy western, right? Yeah. In America. Yeah.

Tumbleweeds are not native to America. They're an invasive Russian species. Russian? I know. I know. I know. Didn't we see tumbleweed in Dubai? And I was like, wow.

In deserts. They're from like desert areas. But America's Wild West didn't have tumbleweeds until a whole lot of seeds were brought in from Europe. And with them came the invasive Russian tumbleweed. Huh. Yeah. And they're not at all native to America. There are some tumbleweeds in Central America and really hot, dry spots, more of Mexican deserts.

But they're much smaller and they don't roll as well. So when were they introduced and when did they come in? Because if we're watching a Western movie, could it be infactual that they're a tumbleweed? If it was too early, it would be infactual because it came with a whole lot of seeds when they were turning the Wild West into farmland and ranches and the cowboys moved in with the stock and everything.

They would have been trying to seed, put grass in areas that hadn't been traditionally grass and those tumbleweed seeds were in there and they just loved it. They just settled around and went crazy. It's like gorse in New Zealand. It makes an okay hedge in Britain, but a different climate here,

it just went nuts and it spread everywhere and it's gone crazy. How does it grow? Because once it's tumbling, it's dead. Great question and I've got your answer. I'm glad you asked. You're really lining them up so I can whack them out of the park today. Yeah, I'm here for you.

So the bit that you see tumbling is how it spreads its seeds. The roots continue to be alive underground, but just like in New Zealand or anywhere, with seasonal change, the plants change. And it's literally, it tumbles, and that's how it spreads its seed. So it grows above the ground ground and it creates that shape. And of course, if you're familiar with biology or evolution, it would have worked

really well. Evolution. Oh yeah, you're a creationist. You can go. So the ones that were the most successful and spread were the ones that rolled the best in the wind. So now they've evolved, they grow up and they grow round so they'll roll well and their seeds are scattered throughout.

It gets to a certain time of the year and they just die and fall off. Topple over and roll. And the wind blows them, and as they blow, it just shakes the seeds out and spreads the seeds. That's amazing. Nature's amazing like that, eh? Isn't it amazing like that? Isn't it amazing?

Isn't it amazing? Isn't it amazing? What are you doing? Isn't it amazing? Giving you a range of amazing. Amazing. Isn't it amazing? Isn't it amazing What are you doing Isn't it amazing Getting you a range of amazings Amazing Isn't it amazing Isn't it amazing

Isn't it amazing Oh blow on me governor Isn't nature amazing It's a good range of amazings And there's heaps of different types of tumbleweeds There's lots of different plants that become tumbleweeds And use this sort of rolling seed spreading To get the word out that they're here

and they're ready to root down and grow again and then repeat the process over and over and over. But today's fact of the day, the base of this, is tumbleweeds are not native to America and especially where you would have seen cowboys. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan's Food Fights. The Kiwi Treat Edition.

We're nearing the end of week one for the food fight. We're trying to find, if you've not heard any of it, we're trying to find New Zealand's favourite snack. Yeah, so Kiwi Treat. Now, I mean, it's drinks against biscuits. It's ice cream against hot products, savouries. It's everything versus everything. And I tell you what, today's battles could be...

Well, I thought they'd be closer, especially the ones we announced last hour. Chippy and Dip. Chip and Dip versus the Cheerios. Now, Cheerios, the Savloys, the little red sausages. And you always dip in a tomato sauce. Always dip in a tomato sauce. Chip and Dip at this stage, 72% of the vote.

Cheerios. That's disappointing. Yeah, and you'll also be disappointed in this. Hubba Bubba getting obliterated. 80% of people have voted for Fruit Bursts. 20% for Hubba Bubba getting obliterated. 80% of people have voted for fruit bursts. 20% for Hubba Bubba. Now the next rounds, I think you'll find this hard for us to decide between

the Cadbury Cream Egg original and the Chocolate Fish. The Chocolate Fish is it? No. Cream Egg without a doubt. Cream Egg. No. Chocolate Fish. There's so much more to a cream egg. No, chocolate fish.

You've just got marshmallow and chocolate. Maybe it's because I always remember Thingy. Loved a chocolate fish. Do you think it's a, but is it a small chocolate fish or a big, because I like those mega chocolate fish. Those are nice. Should we just call it in the middle then? One of the just, your standard chocolate.

It's a wrapped one that you buy as like a chocolate bar. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's the same thing. If it's a fish shaped marshmallow with chocolate coating you get yourself

a chocolate fish. But it's just marshmallow and chocolate. You get more with a cream egg though. It's the simplicity of it and the kiwiness of it. And the cream egg is like exclusive

because it's only certain times of the year. Yeah. Unless you go to a dairy. Yeah, and they're just like, hey, we couldn't get rid of these. We're all around with these now. It's quite solid in the middle. It might be a little white.

Chocolate might be a little bit white. So at the moment, after early voting, and these have only been up for a few minutes, so maybe it's too early to tell. Chocolate Fish, 55%. Cream Egg, 45%. So go along and vote at our Instagram, FEMZM, if you want to have your say. Yeah, a couple of eliminations yesterday as well. Yeah, there were eliminations from yesterday.

Do you have yesterday's eliminations? Not yet. I'm going to tell you what the next round is before that, because this is one that's very close to my heart. I'm calling it the long and delicious round. Okay. Sausage roll versus garlic bread. It's It's the long I'm calling it the long and delicious round Okay Sausage roll Versus garlic bread

Sausage roll Versus garlic bread Sausage roll Garlic bread I'm on team garlic bread For this one But it's gotta be a garlic bread With latherings

Of buttery garlic Both butter and garlic Yep But it's sausage roll And some decorative parsley Oh I'm not a fan of that Like a little bit of green Decorative parsley buttery garlic. Both butter and garlic. Yeah. And some decorative parsley. Oh, I'm not a fan of that. Like a little bit of green decorative parsley.

And sesame seeds on top. But you're at a barbecue. This is how I feel about garlic bread. You're at a barbecue and you look around and you're like, good spread, good spread.

Meats, yeah, great meats and some salads. This is all good. Yum, this is good. A couple of beers. And then someone's like, oh, I forgot the garlic bread and brings out garlic bread

and you're like, hallelujah. Like, it's, I forgot the garlic bread and brings out garlic bread and you're like, hallelujah. It's the cherry on top, garlic bread. You can't go past it. It is. I'd vote for that. There's been many a time where a sausage roll's been, you know, a good friend in the car. That's a solid meal, you know, a sausage roll.

If you're like out for lunch and you're going to the dairy or something, you can have a sausage roll and that's your meal. And you feel like it's, you something, you can have a sausage roll and that's your meal. You don't just buy a piece of garlic bread. You eat enough garlic bread, Megan, and it'll taste like a meal. It's also misc meat as well. It's miscellaneous meat. Oh, I'm okay with misc meat. So what's it going to be? Sausage roll or garlic bread?

At this very early stage of voting in this round, 52%. For what? For garlic bread. Yes! Garlic bread. Just ever so slightly ahead. Just when I thought people had lost the plot as a general populace. And couldn't be trusted. Well, they can be trusted. Brilliant.

Yeah. Already eliminated ones from... My thing's disappeared. The story's expired. The story's... No, but I can't see it in that other bit either where you told me it would be. I just messed something up again. No, I don't think it's... I don't know if it's her fault, but I can't see it in that other bit either where you told me it would be. I just messed something up again. No, I don't think it's, I don't know if it's her fault. Is it my, is it me or is it you?

Is it you or is it me? Maybe I've just made the change as well. Oh no, it's there now. It's come back. It's come back. Okay, that definitely wasn't there before, kids. Sure, sure. Yesterday, there were some eliminations. I'll just quickly run you through what happened yesterday.

Hundreds and thousands biscuits bet the Shrewsbury, so goodbye Shrewsbury. Hundreds and thousands advances. Yes. Peanut slab bet Jaffers quite considerably, so peanut slab through to the next round. Shapes bets Baseman Sticks. Shapes, baked not fried, through to the next round.

What are your flavour? In the battle of the tubbed ice cream, Jelly Tip bet Goody Gum drops by 7%. I was upset about that one, but I still like Jelly Tap. But yeah, go and vote. And next week, I believe we're into the semis.

Yeah. Is that how they call it, the semis? Or the quarters? Or semis and then the quarter? I don't know. Next finals. The finals. The finals.

The first part of the finals. Yeah.