ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Megan Podcast - May 08 2018

Episode Date: May 7, 2018

Megan has another crack at saying Tarantula after Indie and Auggie nail it, millennial's are having intimacy issues and your lamest work parties.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is the Fletch, Vaughan and Megan podcast, brought to you by Spark. Capture life like never before with the Samsung Galaxy S9. I told you you should have done it, Megan. No, I tell you, that was great. Hello, good morning. Welcome to the show, Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. I'm just going to find you that Hawaiian lava time-lapse that I promised you. Here it is. It's funny that you say that more people might actually be keen to go to Hawaii

because I saw that on the news and I was like, I'd actually love to go for a nosey at the Lafa. We watched this Lafa time lapse last night and Indy, my daughter, was like, can we go back to Hawaii and see that? Because that looks amazing. Because it does. Hold on, I've just got to sit through an ad for... What's this show?

Look at that woman in it. Who's the woman that looks like Mary Steenburgen but isn't Mary Steenburgen? Do you know what I'm talking about? Yeah. Chad Michael Murray's

in the show too. Come on. Five, four. The Beach House is what it's called. This doesn't work on the radio, Vaughan. I'm talking about...

Okay, so here's the laffer. Oh, yeah. That's great. That's coming through, but you wait till you see the time lapse of where it like... Oh, it makes a lovely bit. Okay, so here's the laffer. Oh, yeah, that's great. That's like coming through, but you wait until you see the time lapse of where it like, oh, it makes a lovely sound. Like a hissing sound. Look, that's it coming through a gate.

That's great. That's great, boy. I'm not even writing about it. We're only working on the radio. No, it's very visual, isn't it? Oh, is this? I'm glad I had a mad time lapse. Oh, here it is.

So you see how it's coming across the road and it's going to eat this car? Yeah. It ends up eating the car. Oh, it is too. Look at this. Oh, brilliant. Spoiler alert. The car.

Just absolutely melts a Mustang. The car gets it. Wait, it was so slow. Why didn't they move the Mustang? Oh, that person's letterbox is a little R2-D2. You'd be absolutely gutted if your character letterbox got golfed by a lover. Well, it has, hasn't it? It's been eaten.

It's just, it's insane. I heard on the news a lot of them finding out that their insurance, their home insurance doesn't cover for lava. Does your home insurance cover for lava? Have you looked into that? It does cover volcanic stuff. You maybe want to check that. I'll have to double down the check.

Maybe you ring your insurance and ask if there's a wall of lava eating your fence. Tower, if anybody looks at tower, if you could just check my insurance and just check that it's covered by lava. Because we do live in Auckland. We live on a field of ex-volcanoes. Wait, this is why I'm asking now after seeing that. Haha, don't I know how a soft mine burns down? Not like somebody else's problem.

All right, you lot, listen up. It's story time. All right, three news headlines for three stories that I've found. Megan, Vaughan, you've got to pick one headline out of the three. Headline one, Barman's Magic Cup Trick. Oh, I know that one. Headline two, Tinder Fire in Arizona swipes right on 33 homes. And headline three, awkward conversation for mum and son.

Oh, wee. So, story number one about the barman. Is that about the barman who switched their cups? So, he saw someone getting roofied and he switched the glasses? Correct. Yeah. So, he saved... Did he roofie? Did the barman go, that one's been roofied and he switched the glasses? Correct. Yeah. So he saved... Did he roofie?

Did the barman go, that one's been roofied, I'll have that, you just have this clean one. No, he saw a guy... Roofier girl. I don't know if the girl, I think the guy ordered for both of them and then put something in her drink and the barman was like, I'll just switch those around. Oh, so the guy who roofied the girl ended up roofing himself? Yes. Good.

That's like Wellington, they've just said there's going to be angel shots. There's a bar there that's doing that, isn't there? No, it's a service. Is it the whole? So multiple bars. Oh, that's good. So if you go up and ask for an angel shot, that's like letting the barman know that you're in some kind of, you know, you're not feeling safe.

Like a bad Tinder date. Yeah. And then the barman will assess the situation, either get rid of the person that's making you feel unsafe or they can give you an angel card and you'll get a free ride home. It's pretty cool. I just hope that people don't abuse it for a free ride home. Don't abuse the service.

Oh, yeah, that's true because that's a good idea. That's a good service. It would be way better if you said, I want an angel shot and then down from the ceiling comes someone dressed as an angel, and they grab you, and then they go back up into the ceiling. I mean, logistically, that means you've got to have someone dressed as an angel up there all night. You've got to install maybe a trap door, quite a rope and pulley system.

You've got to have a cavernous ceiling. Sort of abseiling equipment, I'd imagine, would be required, at the very least. Yeah. Sort of a Tom Cruise, Mission Impossible style system to let you down. I don't know how that's going to work. Okay. So not that one.

I like story number three. Tinder fire or awkward conversation for mum and son? Or you want awkward conversation? Yeah, awkward conversation. Yes. Okay, we go now to America, where a 13-year-old boy was in an accident. He was in a utility trailer that flipped over. He hit the concrete,

and the trailer landed on top of his head. Oh, my God. Now, this is where it gets quite sad, because he was basically a vegetable. They were like, well... That's a pretty serious action to come back from. They said to his mum, look, this isn't going to end well.

No sign of brain activity. Oh no. Doctors were going to take him off life support. They said to his mum, do you want to donate his organs? And she's like, I think so. I think that's a good idea. So she signed the paper to have his life support and his organs like, I think so. I think that's a good idea. So she signed the paper to have his life support and his organs donated to, I think,

five different kids. Yeah, you've got a few in there. Because do you remember that awfully depressing Will Smith movie where he donated all his organs? You seen that one? No. Is that Pursuit of Happiness? No, that was another depressing Will Smith movie.

That was depressing. This one, at the end of it, spoiler alert Happiness? No, that was another depressing Will Smith movie. That was depressing. This one, at the end of it, spoiler alert, I mean, it's got to be at least a decade old, so this is on you. Fresh Prince of Balliet. Yes, Fresh Prince of

Donator Card on Donator of Organs. Right. He lines up all these people that need, like, organs, and then he kills himself using this jellyfish.

Okay, it sounds made up now. I haven't invented this movie. Do you guys remember that movie? Nobody remembers this movie. He kills himself with a jellyfish. Yeah, boy. In a bath of ice and the jellyfish kills him

but he falls in love with someone just before he does it. The jellyfish. But he's like, no, I'm going to go through with it. And his organs save seven people's lives. Imagine pitching that. Seven pounds.

Caitlin remembers it. Yeah. Because you love watching these depressing, horrible movies, Caitlin. With Will Smith. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And he uses a jellyfish to kill himself. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And he, well, I wrote it, but he gets someone else's eyes,

and then he gets someone's heart, and he walks her down. It's like the father's heart, and he walks the girl down the aisle. Oh, my God, it's horrific. It's so good, though. Oh, he was really young. It's so good, though. In 2008. Such a good movie.

Is it seven pounds? Something pounds. Seven pounds, yeah. Was it seven pounds? There were seven organs. I know he says seven lives. It's got 26% on rotten tomatoes. Oh, man, that's rough. That's tough. I think a little. I know he says seven lives. It's got 26% on rotten tomatoes. Oh, man.

That's rough. That's tough. I think a little bit of snot just came out. I laughed so hard at that. Guys, it deserved better than that. Caitlin loves crappy movies. It is an absolute fad. Megan, it's just because Megan doesn't know a good movie when it hits her in the face.

Rosario Dawson's in it. That's who he falls in love with. We always disagree on movies. You hated Pitch Perfect. Yeah, it was rubbish. Okay. Getting back to the story. The mum signs the

document to donate his organs, turn off life support, and that's when, out of nowhere, he miraculously recovers. Oh, that's not her fault. Oh, Mike just wakes up. Yeah. And so now, obviously, you've got to have that awkward conversation. Like, oh, Mum, you wanted to, like, turn my machine off?

God, yeah, and like donate me. Two years when he's like, I want to go to a party. And she's like, no, Stephen, no parties. He's like, well, what about that time you tried to turn my life support off? I hate you, Mum. You wanted to give my eyes to a blind child in Tennessee. Yeah, well, Stephen, you know that was out of my hands. We all thought you were gone, done for.

You know I wouldn't turn your life support off now, but keeping that in mind, I'll brought you into this world, I can take you out of it. There's a story come out of Australia about Karen and Jay. They are very upset after their neighbours left them a note under their door. So Karen and Jay. They are very upset after their neighbours left them a note under their door.

So Karen and Jay, don't pull their blinds. And aren't you, where was that flat you had that you and all the basketballers, if they were playing basketball. Oh, that was out near Vaughan, Te Atatu.

I used to like, well, I don't pull the blinds. I'm always just like, meh, I'm going to get changed real quick. I thought that was, oh, no, no, no, no,

it was at your last place, the drone, but they chose to see you. Yeah, they chose, that was unfair. They chose to invade your privacy rather than your private parts

invading somebody else's. Yeah, and I always do it in hotel rooms too, like in. Oh my God. Oh, I don't give a, in a hotel room, you think, there's a massive wall of windows. invading somebody else's. Yeah. And I always do it in hotel rooms too. Oh my God. Oh, I don't give a... In a hotel room,

you think there's a massive wall of windows. The chance that someone's going to be looking at yours at that exact time is minimal. I knew people that worked in a building next door to a hotel and they said the things they've seen. Because it is weird. You go to a hotel,

you don't care, right? Nah. You're in a different city or a different country. You just get a hotel, you don't care, right? Nah. You're in a different city or a different country. You just get changed. They were just like, their office would send around emails and be like, quick, Ricky's desk. There's something going on at the hotel.

And like, it was mind-blowing. And they said weekly there would be an amazing event. But I'm not like an exhibitionist about it, but I'm just like, if someone like sees like, eh, who cares? Like you're not going to see my face. As long as they're not taking a picture on a long angle lens or anything. Right.

Like who cares? You'll get changed in front. Yeah. Right, okay. Because I can't be bothered pulling the curtains and everything and neither could Karen and Jay. So they often get changed and they don't worry about the curtains.

So their neighbours, I don't know how long this was going on, but they wrote them a note, slid it under their door, and they said, would you please close your blinds when getting dressed or undressing? We are sick of seeing big bums, big boobs, and a little willy. All right. We will report you both for indecent exposure.

That is the worst. Can you get in? Can you get in if it was your little willy? Big boobs. Thank you. Like, you could have just politely asked them not to, but they, like, body shamed them. Would it be different, like, if they had good bods?

You know, like, perfect bods. You're probably less likely to complain if it's something you like seeing. It'd be top notch I feel bad for them But yeah they've gone and spoken to the media about it And they said look we're not nudists or exhibitionists Just don't

We're lazy we get home after a hard day's work And we just want to get changed They're like it's their fault for perving on us They should look away That's how I feel But that's sad I'm pretty bad with that They should look away. That's how I feel. But that's sad. I don't know why he puts a letter in my mailbox. I'm pretty bad with that because apartments, like, everyone kind of can see in.

I used to live, actually, I think I used to live opposite your apartment. And you're right, the thing you said. Yeah, I know. But people turn the light on and have the blinds open. That's like a movie screen. Yeah. It's like really projecting it into your lounge. But I think like personally, I don't,

because I live there and I just go about my day. Yeah. I don't like really look. It's just I'm kind of oblivious to it all. But when people come around and visit, they're always just like, they go to the window, they're like, oh my God. And they just like look out

and they're just like looking into people's apartments. But you just get over that after the first week. You should get one of those things they have at the top of the Sky Tower where you pop in $2 and you can use the binoculars. Yes. That would be a good little earner. Just have it in the corner so they can just pop $2 in and get to just scan the apartments.

Also probably get me arrested as well. What a thing! The Top Six with Vaughan Smith. Good morning. Countdown have announced 10 of their stores, six of their stores, some of their stores, are going plastic bag free. Sorry, I'm choking on a single-use plastic bag.

Like a dolphin that somebody just threw into the ocean. They're going to trial it and hopefully roll it out to some more stores and by the end of the year, they're looking to really have made some changes and I commend them. That would be a pretty hard thing. Yeah, but sometimes

I just go to the supermarket like, I'll just be like, oh, I just need to go to the supermarket and I won't have my recycled bags. Yeah,

they'll have options. Yeah, but I'll just end up with a thousand bags that I've bought for a dollar. No, but what about paper bags? No, because they're coming down trees.

I reckon, but they're from sustainable things and they melt when they go down trees. I reckon, but they're from sustainable things and they melt when they go in water. I've never seen a turtle choking on a bit of paper. You'll get used to it and then you'll get into the habit. Ever seen a turtle choke on a plastic bag?

Yep. I put it in its mouth, but it did choke. I was like, hold this for a minute. It doesn't have hands, so I just grabbed it with its mouth and turned away and looked back. You haven't though, have you? It's choking. No, I haven't.

Of course I haven't. God, I love turtles. They're some of my faves. But do you know that those Countdown and Pack and Save and all of the supermarkets, they do those big bins now

where you can put your single-use plastic bags. They make playgrounds out of that. So they send it away, compress it all in. Kids would be choking on them. They're always like,

don't leave your kids with a plastic bag. No, they make those soft mats. You know how back in the day we landed on concrete? Yeah. They land on recycled plastic bags and tires and stuff. Here comes another wimpy generation.

Fall on some concrete or some bark. Break yourself. Good for the character. They're looking to get rid of them. That's good. And I thought, well, if they're starting to get rid of things at supermarkets, I've got six other things that supermarkets should ditch. Okay.

Number six. Packs of three chicken wings in the hot oven in the deli department because who's only eating three chicken wings? I'm going to eat three packs of them three packs. Yeah. I'm eating nine chicken wings. You've bought three. You're like, hmm, I was just getting a taste for those

and now they're all gone. Nobody's eating just three. I know. It's just supposed to be a little snack. It's like when I see, is it a quarter of a chicken? You know how you can buy a whole rotisserie chicken and then you can buy a half? It's like the leg and the extra part of the leg. Yeah.

That's not enough. You want a whole chicken. If I get a hot rotisserie chicken, the idea is it's going to last a few meals. Yeah. Never does. I'm in there picking all day. And I say to myself, Vaughan, you don't need the stuffing. Don't eat it.

It's tempting, but you don't need that sage and onion stuffing no matter how delicious it smells. Oh, I'll just have a stuffing sandwich. Okay, you deserve it. You did real well to hold off as long as you did. Number five on the list of the top six things other things supermarkets should ditch when they ditch single-use plastic bags. Silver bead. Silver bait.

Yuck. Disgusting. Ditch the silver bait. Ah! Ah! I won't hear a word. In the defense of silver bait. It is filth.

It's very high in high. It is filth. It's good for you. Yeah. It's filth. Yeah. Number four on the list of the top six other things supermarkets should ditch along with single-use plastic bags. Any trolley that has a wobbly wheel.

In a minute, the wheel starts getting wobbly. It needs to go to the trolley service department, the trolley hospital, or just melt it straight down. Like the Terminator being lowered into that liquid metal. Just chuck it straight in. Get rid of it. Number three on the list of the top six other things supermarkets should ditch. The judgy looks when I'm taking just over 12 items through the express line. I don't need your judgment, Sue.

I know there's more than 12, but it's within Cooey. It's close enough. It's close enough. Number two on the list of the top six other things supermarkets should ditch along with single-use plastic bags, asking me, is there anything else today? Because if there is anything else, it's too late. Because everything's already sorted and through

and there's three people behind me and I can't just be like, yes, I'm going to run to the opposite end of the supermarket and get the thing I forgot. It's too late. Everybody waits. It's too late. My friend told me when she worked of the supermarket and get the thing I forgot. It's too late. Everybody waits. It's too late. My friend told me when she worked at the supermarket

that's to encourage you. Cash out shoplifters. Oh. Why? No. I know. I was like,

that's madness. You see, when she did her training I was like, is there anything else? So if someone's like, yeah, I was going to steal

this chocolate bar. They like own up to it. No, I thought it was like they always ask you in service stations and stuff and dairies because they just want you to buy something. They like own up to it. No, I thought it was like they always ask you in service stations and stuff and dairies because they just want you

to buy something else. They try to upsell you. Because if you're half sold on some Froze Balls. Yep. Froze Balls? Froze Balls? Or a crunchy.

I was thinking more of a crunchy. Froze Balls? Froze. Froze Balls. No one's standing at the checkout debating should I have a bag

of Froze Balls? Oh, you never said anything else and you're like, okay, I'll get one. And you're rich with Froze Balls and one's standing at the checkout debating, should I have a bag of Froze bowls? Oh, you never said anything else, and you're like, okay, I'll get one, and you reach for the Froze bowls, and then you accidentally slip and grab a whole morrow. Yeah. And you're like, oh, well, that's... Close enough. Got to touch it, you buy it.

I think that's the rules. No, Sue, that's not the rules. Shut up. Scan it through. And the number one thing in today's top six of the top six other things supermarkets should ditch along with single-use plastic bags, changing where they keep stuff.

Why'd you move the eggs? Where's the bread gone? My supermarket moved the eggs recently. Why'd you do that? My supermarket always had the eggs and the bread and the milk right beside each other, and it was great. You're just like, maybe this is the plan, though, because you just scoot around and you get your essentials and You've got to search again. You'd be out.

But yeah, it's got you going down every aisle. Hide and seek. They change it around every month. Look it down. Oh, look. There's a wee special over here. My supermarket's in the middle of a big change up. We're getting self-serve checkouts.

I know. It'll last like six weeks until they're like, we've lost millions of dollars of stock. West Aucklanders are crafty little rats. They've stolen everything. And we don't know how they did it. So that's just chaos.

Yeah, I bet. It's chaos at the supermarket at the moment. So that is today's top six. FVM, the podcast. Reading a story out of the UK where the UK, the secondhand ticket industry is worth one billion pounds a year.

Isn't that insane? Scalping. The second-hand ticket industry. It's nuts. It's like a false economy because it's adding value to something that's been given a value for nothing additional. Yeah. It's crazy. But then in America,

a lot of the ticket... Wild demand, but it's secondary demand because it it's secondary demand because it's been in demand once and the demand fell short of the supply. Are we in a Vaughan Smith economics lesson here? I believe we've just slipped into Vaughan Smith economics. It's crazy. It's insane.

One billion dollars. In America, a lot of the ticket sellers own some of the resale sites. And there have been like this speculation and they've been caught out sometimes. That's not okay. It's not a good industry. And then sometimes shows in America will go on sale

and mysteriously all the tickets will just end up on these resale sites literally within minutes. So the secondhand industry is worth more to Britain, you said, eh? Yeah. Just Britain. Yep. Each year more, you said, eh? Yeah. Just Britain. Yep. Each year, more, significantly more,

than the gross domestic product of Samoa. Oh my God. And Vanuatu. It's actually about Samoa and Tonga combined. Wow. All of their outputs are equal secondhand tickets in Britain. That's nuts. And you know, there's been a lot of problem lately,

especially with the website VeerGogo. Yeah. People turning up to Bruno Mars. They were crying because they couldn't get in. Well, a couple of graduates from the Imperial College in London have created software using cryptocurrency blockchain technology. Right. I've heard a lot about blockchain.

Yeah. So like, I mean, whether or not you're into cryptocurrency, blockchain essentially is, they call it maybe the future of say banking and a lot of things because it can't be traced,

altered. Like once, it's a very safe way of keeping records. It's iconic. So I'm not doing this justice explaining it. When they say it on the TV and you're watching, you're like, okay. And then you try and relay it. It's a very safe way of keeping records. It's iconic. I'm not doing this justice explaining it. When they say it on the TV and you're watching, you're like, okay, and then you try and relay it. It's very difficult.

Don't they chuck it out there and there's so many different levels and it's all cryptic that it can't be. The idea is if they're using the blockchain technology, it'll allow event organisers to give each ticket a unique identity that's tied to its owner. And because they're based on blockchain,

a linked list of records where each one, each new one contains an encrypted version of the previous one. Wow. Because you have a blockchain identity, right? So you can like tie the tickets to your blockchain identity. Sure. Something like that. Sure, something like that.

But it basically means that it can't be copied. Yeah. Well, I don't know. The way you two have just broken it down, I reckon if you put your mind to it, you could have it by the end of the day. Oh, God. It's so technical.

I don't get what blockchain is. This is why I'll never be rich, because the future is obviously cryptocurrencies. And the minute anyone starts talking about it, I'm like, sorry. I'm sorry. I struggle to remember my four digit pin. But they're actually, they're trying it

out with the 2018 World Cup in Russia and a lot of festivals and stuff in the Europe and UK summer. That's a big cake to take your first bite of if you're going to go anti-corruption and you go to Russia to test your software, I mean, if that works. Question though, so

if the tickets are tied to your encryption, what if you genuinely can't go and you wanted to sell them? Well, I think then it's resold and then they reissue them. I don't know. But apparently it's definitely the better way. Yeah, right. Because I don't know why like Ticketmaster, for example, don't do that here.

If you want to sell your ticket to someone, like surely they'd be better to have some kind of fee for $20 where you can change the name. Transfer that. And then they reissue a whole new ticket. The other barcode becomes dud. It doesn't work, so you can't scan it at the gate or the door. Yeah.

Why can't you do that? Because it probably sounds easier when you just say it. Than to do it. Than to actually do it. I don't know. Yeah, the way you just said it. Than to do it. Than to actually do it. I don't know. Yeah, the way you just said, you said $20 fee, my automatic mind was thinking,

nah, you'd be charging a hundred for that. And I'm not nearly as scrupulous as they are. Well, I think if anything, it looks like it's a positive sign for anyone that's gone out and paid heaps of money for a ticket. Are those going to stop people selling scalping? Probably not.

People are still going to buy four tickets and then sell them all. It'll just mean if you do buy someone's ticket, it won't be a fake. Yeah, basically, basically. It's not going to stop. But it sounds like you'll still be able to set your price. Yeah. Unless some rules change in that as well. Megan's in the throes of an issue.

No dress to wear to a formal function on Thursday evening. No. I'm not going to go. Pink puffy sleeves, despite my outspoken opposition. I said I wouldn't even order that one. Because you look like a clown is what you said. I didn't say clown. Someone said clown.

Guys have it so much easier, don't they? Because we just literally get a suit like I just got say clown. Someone said clown. Guys have it so much easier, don't they? Because we just literally get a suit like I just got one yesterday. It's a cheap black suit. See, I'm in two minds about whether guys have it easier. In life, sure. But when it comes to... No, and functions as well. Because you can just wear the same black suit.

No one is going to know the difference. Nah. You could wear the same thing you wore last year. I'd have no idea. You might not have any idea. But who would? Everyone else. But who cares?

Why do you do this? See, this is, I think, guys, if guys... Caitlin's rolling her eyes. Because there are some guys in the industry that would get as wound up about this, like, oh, I can't wear that. I wore it last year. But you're just worried too much. Are you kidding, Vaughn?

Hoskings wouldn't wear the same loafers. Are you actually having a laugh? No, you choose to make life difficult. Are you kidding, Vaughn? Hoskings wouldn't wear the same loafers. Are you actually having a laugh? No, you choose to make life difficult. No, no, no. We're not just talking. Oh, my God. Hold me back. Hold me back.

You do. We're not just talking about clothes. Vaughn Smith, 2018. You choose to make life difficult. With regards to what you wear to these sorts of unimportant situations. No, Vaugh what is right? I would be the same. I wouldn't know that you wore that same dress last month, last year.

And you wear the same clothes to work every day. We see them every day and we don't care. We're not doing it for you. Who are you doing it for? For other girls. We want to look good for... Who cares about men? Wait, oh my gosh, you don't get it.

You don't get it. You actually don't understand it. You've made this issue. No, but once you buy it, like fashion is kind of like my identity. It's how I express myself. So it's important to me what I wear. Does that make sense? Yeah, but you've chosen to make it your thing.

I let my personality speak for me. Do you have to get your hair done? Oh no, you guys don't have to get hair me. Do you have to get your hair done? Oh, no, you guys don't have to get hair done. Do you have to get your makeup done? Excuse me, that's baldest. Excuse me, that is baldest. No, I'm just saying there's lots of different aspects that we have got to consider,

and you're saying we make it hard for ourselves. So the issue is that you don't have something to wear, Megan. No, and I've tried. Like, I started three weeks ago. Do you in your, what do you call the, it's not a pantry. The wardrobe. You know, the clothes. Pantry.

Do you in your clothes pantry have anything old that you could wear? No. Pause. Because when I moved into my new house, remember when I had all those black rubbish bags full of clothes? Someone made me throw out, like like 90% of my clothes. And have I purchased another dress? No. So I literally do not have anything to wear.

So you don't have a single dress in your clothes pantry? I have a bridesmaid's dress and a wedding dress. This is the problem. You dress too nicely for work. I dress poorly for work. And so all I need to do is put on a collared shirt and people are like, woohoohoo, got a job, interview.

It's a formal function. It's like black tie. I'm not going to wear a blazer and a miniskirt to a black tie function. Help me, someone. You don't even understand. You're not going to listen to me when I say this, Megan. If it was the Oscars, I'd totally be like,

oh, that's all right, but it's not. She never listens to me when I say this. But 100%, you know you look stunning every time you go. Now it sounds like I'm fishing. No, I'm not. Because you do beautiful hair and makeup. You have your nails nice. You can just wear something.

I've seen that episode of Simpsons where Marge gets one Chanel dress and she just changes it slightly for different occasions. It ends up going badly. But then she realises it's not the dress that makes the woman, it's the woman that makes the dress. Should I wear a black suit? We should all wear suits.

You wouldn't pull off a tuxedo. I'm not going to. You could totally pull off a tuxedo. I'm going to wear a Kourtney Kardashian tuxedo. You do it.

Where do I find one of those? What seat can I update for you? Because now Megan's like, well, I don't find anything. I'm not going. I'm 100% not going. We're 100% hitting save mark if you don't find anything in time.

You can find good stuff from there. Yeah, like a suit someone died in. I'm not wearing House of Martin. You just find those things where someone moves house and they have all their stuff in black plastic bags and their boyfriend's like, you've got to get rid of this. That's where it goes, Save Mart. You get someone else's last year's dress.

I'll get my own dress back goes Save Mart Yeah I'll go and get my Or get my own dress Back from Save Mart Great plan It's a good plan Okay But just Just let it be known Yeah yeah yeah

What about the Borrowee Borrowee people Yeah I could do that The lendee folk Yeah Easy buy Yeah

It's like video easy But for dresses Easy buy You can get a new release It costs you more. That's shut down, didn't it? I don't think they do that anymore. No, I think Easy Vi still exists.

Easy Vi is still a thing. Lovely cardigans, isn't it? And going into winter, don't please, don't scoff at cardigans. Practical, warm, and fashionable. 100% not going if I can't get a dress. I'm putting it out there. Now you're just being silly. This is what we're dealing with behind the scenes today at work. Fletch Vaughan and Megan's Food Fights.

The Kiwi Treat Edition. Oh, New Zealand, we're getting passionate as we search for New Zealand's favourite Kiwi treat. And all the voting is on our Instagram, FVMZM. Yesterday, I'm honestly not willing to call this until the time is officially up. I was walking yesterday and saw the poll results. I was like, I've got to start kind of swaying this voting. I've got to put the word out there. I've got to encourage people to vote for spicy tomato manchos. They were losing against Grainwaves.

Yeah. There was a point yesterday. It was single. There were six votes in it. And there were over like... Thousands of votes. Yeah, I think there was like, at that point, there were 12 or 13,000 votes.

Yeah. And there was literally six votes in it. Okay. What were you voting for, Vaughn? Because Fletch and I were both manchos. I can't remember what I voted for. Oh, Vaughn, please. I voted early in the piece.

That's the thing. I felt, no, no, no, I don't know if I did. You were indifferent. Because I felt that the voting fairly reflected how I feel about the entire Grainwaves versus Munchos. If those were my two chip choices, I'd really struggle. Okay. That was the first one in my household that we had an argument about.

Was that Chippy? Oh, because Mr. Toyboy, he's all about grain waves and I'm spicy tomato manchos. Yeah. They at the moment are about 150 votes ahead voting until 8am this morning.

Actually, no voting. Shove on those ones because we started that voting at 7 o'clock. Does that mean it's won? I'm going to get to that in just a minute. But the other victors

from yesterday, Hot Chippy's taking out chip Sandwich. Oh, that was a trouncing. That was an absolute trouncing. 83% of people saying Hot Chippies please. Hot Chippies. I'm going to come back to Munchos. Milo took it out against

Primo. Beating Primo in the battle of the chocolatey treats. Goodbye Primo. They don't come back ever. They don't. Milo through to the next round. And it was close, but Lolly Cake has beaten $1 Lolly Mix. Yes! I was surprised that would happen. I chose Lolly Cake, but I thought Dollar Mix would have that.

Although Dollar Mix is a bit eh at the moment, aren't they? Yeah, they're a bit meh. You don't get much for a Dollar Mix, you know. You know, as a Lolly Cake. At least you get an assortment of lollies, and Lolly Cake is just one type of lolly. True. So I can tell you, after nearly 19,000 votes were cast on this particular battle...

Oh, my God. ...that there were... That is so ridiculous that 19,000 people voted. Voted for this. Between spicy tomato manchos and sour cream and chives grain waves. Okay. There's less than 100 votes in it. Wow.

Okay. But the winner and advancing through to the next round of Food Fight, Kiwi Treats Edition in studio. Fletch has his fingers crossed. As an atheist, he just looked skyward and said, please be there. No, it's the mancho god.

I believe in the mancho god. Fair enough. Yeah. the mancho god. I believe in the mancho god. Fair enough. Yeah. Delicious mancho god. Well, your prayers have been answered. Spicy tomato manchas advance through to the next round. It's fairway to gray waves. They're not a good fight.

They're not going to. I don't think they're going to go any further. Like up against, say, a Milo or a Hot Chippies or a Lolli Cake. I don't think they're going to do enough. Oh, Lollicake's had its time. They'd beat Lollicake. But, yeah. No, I see.

Would they? I don't know. We've got one. See, that's the thing about this. Tomatoes, most tomatoes and manchos, they've got a role on. They've got a lot of support. But then will the Grainwave supporters be voting against them? True.

Just because they were the ones that knocked them out of the competition. This is the start of the game where politics starts coming into play. We've got another round for you to vote on now on our Instagram, FEMZM. This is going to be a tough one. Kiwi chip and dip versus garlic bread. Chip and dip all the way. One hundy. Chip and dip. The garlic bread. At the the way. One hundy. Chip and dip.

The garlic bread. At the moment, about 1,400 votes have been cast. Yep. Yeah. Chip and dip winning. Yes. With a 59%. Oh, they've taken it out.

Suck it, Fletch. 59%. I hate that dip so much. I know that I'm risking having my New Zealand citizenship taken away from me. Revoked. It's like glue. Dusty glue. Delicious glue. You're not leaving it long enough.

Delicious French onion glue. It shouldn't be dusty. Put it in the refrigerator. And mix it properly, please. As long as it doesn't win the competition. I'll be so upset if it wins the competition. You're putting it in a non-rounded bottomed bowl. You're trying to mix it where it can creep into the corners.

I know how to mix a dip. I don't know how to mix a dip. I'm losing faith in your ability to mix a dip. If it tastes dusty, you're not mixing it right. I'm saying go to the dips in the chilled section at the supermarket. There's so many nice dips. Don't get me wrong. I love a triple layered dip.

Yuck. But you can't go past the ease of this. The ease. It's ready to go. At the moment, it is beating garlic bread. So if you're a big fan of the garlic bread, get on and do your voting. F-E-M-Z-M. F-E-M-Z-M.

A male model has done a wee experiment on Tinder. So this is to find the hairstyle or the look that what girls are swiping the most for. So he put up different hairstyles on himself. He's photoshopped it. So he's used the same photo of himself. Same photo of himself. Okay. And he's changed the hairstyle on his head and his facial hair.

Okay. And he's taken note of what he got the most swipes for. So in this is clean shaven. He's done a goatee beard. So it's kind of like the whole chain. Did he grow a big beard? Because when you grow a big beard and you shave it down, you do all the fun different sorts of facial hair on the way down.

Yes, I do that when I'm shaving. You do that. You go big chops and then you go for a goatee. Yep. See what you look like. I always leave the moustache last and then I'm like, this is what I'd look like if I was a policeman. Yes.

Yeah. Oi! What the hell are you kids up to over there? Fun times in the bathroom. This is just what happens when we shave, Megan. Cool. Yep. You should try it with your legs.

Stripes. Yeah, stripes, socks, hair socks. Cool. Yeah. You should try it with your legs. Stripes. Yeah, stripes, socks, hair socks. Okay. Kneepads. He did a heavy beard and thinning hair and bald head.

Now, the most swiped picture. He got the most swipes with 120 with the clean shaven look. Clean shaven and a full head of hair. Yeah, hair on his head. There we go.

What are you rolling your eyes for? This is already baldest. I can tell. Getting lined up for a slamming. The next most successful look, 85 swipes, was a heavy beard with a full head of hair.

Was this goatee or beard? Oh, goatee beard. Sorry. He looked like a bloody hypnotist. No, but it's probably not what you're thinking of. It's not like

who's Benedict Cumberbatch in Avengers? It's not Doctor Strange. It's not like manicured. What does it look like? It's a bogan goatee. It's a bogan goatee. Like chin.

Looks like a magician. A West Auckland magician. Okay. So that was the next popular. But that was the second most popular look. A Goatee. It's a Bogan Goatee. Like chin. Looks like a magician, a West Auckland magician. Okay. So that was the next popular. But that was the second most popular look. A Goatee Beard. Good Lord. You guys want to see a magic trick?

I can make two joints disappear. Watch this. And that gives us magic. Oh my God. I've been to a couple of West Auckland magic shops. Yeah, but I was going to say, yeah. I know how it works. Factual.

The next most popular was the heavy beard, much like Vaughan. Okay. But the picture he put up, Vaughan, he had a full head of hair. Yeah, okay. I don't know if that counts. Someone say, okay. Someone say, taking away from the thickness of the beard. Yeah.

Next was a thinning head of hair. Can you, have you got pictures of this? Because to me, a thinning head of hair is, is it a head of hair where it's like, dude, you need to shave your head? Oh.

Nearly needs to shave his head. Nearly. Nearly. There's no point fighting the moonlight. Because you see those bald dudes hanging on. I know. And you're like, come on,

mate. Come on. Just shave it. It's okay. And coming in last, I don't quite know how to say this. Bald. Bald.

Bald. What about on the face situation? How many swipes did he get? Does it say how many he got or just a percentage? It's low? Very low. Right. And then some people's suit being bald.

95% less. And some people. Hey. Hey. You asked. How would Jason Statham get on? On Tinder. He'd be all over it.

In your defence, the bald picture they've used is very, very thin. He probably should have just shaved it off. It looks like a police sketch of someone wanting for murder. Okay. Murder. Murder. Because he's got the creepy... He needs to shave it properly and either grow that goatee or not.

Producer Caitlin, would you swipe or bumble on a goatee? Ooh, definitely not. You're not a goatee, girl. But I've been on dates with bald brothers. I don't mind it. Thank you. As long as they have a beard. Nah, just kidding.

They don't have to have a beard. But definitely not a goatee. This is kind of unfair because he's got a specific face, so one thing might suit him more than something else. Like, you guys suit being bald. Anya, would you swipe on a goatee? Absolutely not. I'm just not a facial hair person.

I feel like aesthetically it's nice, but then you snuggle up and it's like, oh, there it is, it's in my eyes. That'll be your date of 14-year-old. Well, he's not 14, but he could be. Well, he's been mistaken for your son previously. Doesn't the beast on the chaser have a goatee? He has. He has.

Not currently. Right. The beast on the chaser, that's I'm your celebrity crush. I know. It's really unusual. She's got the most unusual taste in gentlemen. I hate you all. Who did she say last night on the room chat?

She said David Seymour was cute. I know, because he was boogieing so well. He's a doofus, that guy. He was trying so hard. He's a knob. He was trying very hard. He made notes and his attitude was so admirable. Yeah, I mean, that's what makes all the best dancers in the world, notes.

Don't be awful. Like you could do better. Oh, I mean, that's what makes all the best dancers in the world. Notes. Don't be awful. Like you could do better. Oh, I 100% could not. But I 100% would not. Know your boundaries. He's putting himself out there for a very good cause. And he's trying really hard. I know, that's the thing.

You forget it's for charity. There we go. And you're sitting at home scoffing a whole block of chocolate being like, look at these fools. So if we've learned anything from this, it's don't be bald. I mean, if you want to be negative about it. If you're going to be bald, be bald. Don't half-ass it like this guy.

Look like a creep. Just shave it off. Shave it off and own it. Shave it off, get a bit of facial hair. Or clean shaven. That's what most of them went for, the clean shaven look. Yeah, but clean shaven and bald and after winter you look pale, skinny with no hair. You could be confused for someone going through chemotherapy.

Like chemo. That's why I think you've got to dedicate yourself to some facial hair. Or a pity swipe. Sure. Either way. One of those massive study groups has been happening in Britain for a long time. 16,000 people signed their kids up for this, basically. Right.

That were born in 1989 or 1990. Oh, I love these. And they're still ongoing. Yeah. Oh, this is... Yeah, they're ongoing and they get kind of like that big sample size gives a fair reflection of... Where things are at. Generations, I guess.

Yeah. So the 1989, 1990 are kind of like peak millennial. If you were born in those years, that's kind of like peak millennial. So they're finding out a lot about them. And one of the very interesting things they found out about them is that one in eight 26-year-olds haven't had sex. This is in the UK? In the UK. One in eight 26-year-olds have

never had sex. I wonder if that is indicative of worldwide, or if that's just a UK stat. I don't know. Does it say... I would have thought if you'd got together a random group of people I knew at the age of 26, I wouldn't have thought it would have thought if you'd got together a random group of people

I knew at the age of 26, I wouldn't have thought it would have been that high. I thought most of them would have... Isn't that go against everything that we've kind of thought? They're all like, I have promiscuous... And the internet? Oh, that's just panicky headlines that people have to buy into and just generalise and just lather the brush across an entire generation of people. So

the reason being they kind of looked into it. They thought this is interesting and significantly lower than in the past. Yeah. Where it's been like 1 in 20 haven't had sex and now it's 1 in 8. Right. So that's... Nearly double. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. So they're saying that these people have grown

up in a time of hypersexuality, which is intimidating them. And it's an intimidation. It's scared of intimacy and scared of not living up to people's expectations. Young millennial, are you scared of cuddles? I'm terrified. Because of hypersexual tension. That'd be what it is here.

I had to put a name on it. Okay. If you had to label it, put it in a drawer, file it in a mineral. She's the mumsiest millennial though. Yeah, you are. You're the worst person to ask. Caitlin, are you scared of cuddles? Some.

Are you scared of intimacy? Because that would be a fair sort of assumption. Don't you think? Are we doing therapy with Caitlin on here? Why am I asking James if he likes cuddles, James? We've got partners. He might not like cuddles. Do you like cuddles, James?

I know, I love a cuddle. He loves cuddles. I don't know if his girlfriend does because he Donald Ducks it when he goes to bed. And he wears a t-shirt and no pants. So she's like, oh, okay, it's happening. There's no way of hiding this. It's happening.

But Caitlin, are you scared of intimacy on a serious, serious night? On a serious night, I hate sleeping in the bed with someone else. That's the thing, if you start getting too close

to someone, you start finding problems with them. Maybe you do have a fear of intimacy. That's kind thing, if you start getting too close to someone, you start finding problems with them. I know. Maybe you do have a fear of intimacy. That's kind of the most... I just like my life how it is,

like in terms of like having my own bed and not having like anyone else to... No, but like sleeping beside someone is pretty intimate. Yeah.

There's only like a couple of my friends I'll do it with and they're really small and they don't move, so that's... And they're cats like can you sleep on the couch? They're cats and it's really setting the... Now I don't know

like that's kind of sad I guess with the right person the reason is because they're self conscious so they asked young men and they were really worried about being humiliated and that they wouldn't be able to live up to what women expect or have seen other places or perhaps have had before.

Because you could be in a Facebook chat group. Like, oh, this happened. When it comes down to it, all women want is a nice guy. Someone who will be nice to them. That's all. On behalf of nice guys. Shut up. You've done so well.

I have, and it's an anomaly, and it can't be explained, and it's the exception to every rule But nice guys out there right now are like Pull the other one And women are saying That they Not so much worried about the humiliation As much as when the clothes are off

They're not going to live up to What guys have seen elsewhere So worried about their own insecurities. And it's sort of manifested itself into this not being as sexual. So you're saying everybody's so worried that they're just not enjoying

themselves. Pretty much. Everyone's worried a bit too much. So don't worry. Don't worry about it. Don't worry. It's actually really sad, isn't it? I know, it is a bit sad. It don't worry. Don't worry about it. Don't worry. Yeah. It's actually really sad, isn't it? I know, it is a bit sad. It's really sad. It is a bit sad.

If a terrible, hairy mess like myself, who's... I'll be totally honest, love making techniques terrible. Can lock down a smoking hot babe like my wife. There's hope for everybody. You just turn the light off, eh? Correct.

Why do you think you've got blackout curtains? And so there's an ever small chance in the summer months that there might still be a bit of light when we go to bed. I've got to play my best hand, and that is pure darkness. I was all for moving into a cave or an underground house. Fletch, Vaughn and Megan. The podcast. We want to know when you've got some help,

when you had some help maybe at school or uni on a project and you thought I'll just get some help with this, I don't know whether or not it's an assignment, an essay. So you ask a professional or maybe you ask mum and dad because they're clued up on the subject. But it turns out they were rubbish. You've got a rubbish mark. Now, there's an author called Ian McEwan,

and if you like big, serious-sounding books, maybe you've heard of him. Not really my cup of tea. But he wrote Atonement. That's been turned into a movie. Oh, yes. He wrote a book called Nutshell. He's written a whole bunch of books.

Amsterdam. Now, these are apparently the sorts of books that students will analyze. I love this story so much. So when his son, it turns out, was studying one of his books, he said, well, son, we've got this one in the back. Because I wrote the book. So I will be able to tell you everything you need to know about Enduring Love, a book that I wrote.

And his son's like, yes. That's the thing, they ask you in an English exam or an assignment, like, what does the author mean here? And what are they trying to convey? Like, literally, Dad, what are you trying to convey? And he's like, well, I'll save you reading it. I was trying to convey this, that, and the other. So he wrote an A-level essay for it, overseen by the actual author of the book, who would know the book better than anyone else

because he penned it. He got a C+. And Ian McEwan's like, I think there's a problem with our education system because. Or is he just bitter that he got a C plus on his own subject matter? Two questions. Does the kid have the same last names? Is it obvious that.

I don't know. He just said, he just refers to him as his son. And second question. Is there any teacher notes? Did they say why he got a C+, like where he fell down? Yeah, if it was grammar and spelling and punctuation and sentence structure. Like your arguments are strong, but I don't know. But you've spelled there incorrectly.

But Dad would be able to see that, surely. Yeah. Like it's Dad's book. You'd at least run it past him. You'd totally go in and be like, um, this is right because it's my book and that's what I meant. I'd say the author, in brackets, my dad, Ian,

said verbatim this is what he meant when he wrote the following sentences. But he only got a C+. So we want to take some calls now this morning. 0800 DARS at M9696. When you got some help from, say, someone who was an expert in the field,

or mum and dad, and maybe they even wrote it. I was mentioning this before, and Caitlin, this has happened to our very own Caitlin Marrett, whose father, Doug, is an award-winning apiarist. A beekeeper. I don't know if he's award-winning. Well, he's done it for over 30 years. He's all about bees and honey.

And he helped you with the biology assignment where you chose the subject to be bees. Yeah. It turned out to be the worst thing I could do because it was like, there wasn't an end to it. Like it was about the homing pattern of bees or something. And it was like really hard.

But I was like, don't worry, I've got this. My dad's back here. And then I was like, dad, can you help me? And he was like, I'm really busy. And I was like, dad. And he's like, come and have a look. And then I had a look and I was like,'t worry I've got this my dad's beekeeper and then I was like dad can you help me and he was like I'm really busy and I was like dad and he's like come and have a look and then I had a look

and I was like dad what is this and he's like trying to so I just couldn't I didn't so that was probably more your fault

then than his a little bit but what mark did you get but everyone would have been expecting the beekeeper's daughter to nail the bee

I know people ask me questions about bees all the time what mark what mark did you get no I didn't I had to change the thing I didn't I had to like completely change what I was doing the bee i know people ask me questions about bees all the time what mark what mark did you get no i didn't i had to change the thing i didn't like completely change what i was doing my biology teacher was like let's do something on flowers like literally had to change okay so oh eight

hundred thousand nine six nine six when did someone help you with a project and you got a bad mark give us a call text us now we are talking about when you got help from a so-called expert in the field and it didn't help at all for a subject you were covering. This happened because an author helped his son write a critical analysis of his own book and failed because apparently he didn't really know the subject. He's like, well, I wrote the book. A lot of people as well, the other way around, they got expert help

and it was a total giveaway. It was too much. The markers and teachers were like, you didn't write this. Well, that's like, somebody said my great uncle escaped Germany during World War II as a teenager. And we were actually doing World War II at school, so he helped

me write an assignment about his journey. Right. Told me the whole story. How a rowing towel. Bit of a thing to have to write down. Yeah. The teacher told me it was a bit too much and probably exaggerated how the people would have actually felt. When I told my great uncle, he was so angry, he wanted to go into school and show the teacher

the bullet scar on his ass. And be like, over-exaggerated, is it? I lived it. That's really rough from the teacher, eh? Yeah. Would you start it with, like, this is my great-uncle, he escaped. You know, this is a real story of someone who escaped. Yeah.

You couldn't say it's overdone. Some other text messages. My next-door neighbour is a biology teacher, so I just thought I'll just get some help with this biology subject. They were a great help. Also, I thought, I failed the biology paper that I was given that the biology teacher helped me with. They were probably like,

I don't want this kid coming back knocking on my door. You know, like... Don't get good at what you don't want to do. Exactly. Erica, what happened? So my dad is a specialist anesthetist. Okay. That's quite important. And for my level two biology assignment, like Caitlin,

I was like, oh, sweet, I'll just do something on anesthetics. Yeah. And I thought that would be a really good idea, but I wasn't very good at biology as it was. Yeah. But so dad helped me out with this assignment, but because he's a doctor, he's a bit socially awkward too so I didn't really understand what he was saying

Oh my god no socially awkward is where you go to a party and you're like I don't really like being here it's not looking at your kid and being like I can't talk to this one Oh yeah I like it in terms of like trying to put his like fancy doctor language into like plain English. Right

So I just kind of wrote down what he said and did some half-assed research his fancy doctor language into plain English. Right. So I just kind of wrote down what he said and did some half-assed research. And then I submitted it, and when I got it back, I had failed it. I had to do a resubmission to get the credits for it. And I'm really fast biology, and I am not a doctor. What did your dad say when you had to resit it, when you got it back?

I can't remember. I think it was probably like, well, maybe you should have done the work yourself. Thanks, Dad. Classic dad thing to say. Yeah. It was a very classic dad and also very true. Thanks, you call Erica.

Thanks, guys. Some of the text messages, my dad, my uncles and my grandfathers are all builders. So when it came to woodwork, I was like, I got this. Sorted. Asked builders so when it came to woodwork i was like sorted uh asked them for help multiple times throughout woodwork class failed on multiple occasions so the work was rushed and a little bit rough according to the teacher dad doesn't dad or the uncle doesn't want to come home after a hard day of building then build your crappy project

builders that like chuck together houses they're not joiners That do the little Finicky things They just want to get An hour going In the end of it And be like Poof cut Poof cut Poof cut

And then that is Going to look a bit rough Somebody said My uncle's quite a Well known chef In New Zealand Oh okay Now I just want to

Know who they are I was doing a Culinary course And they asked me To design a menu So I went to him And said Help me design a menu

He designed me A wonderful menu The teacher told me It was a bit too much. It's much. Well, you've got to look at your audience like, you know. Yeah, we wanted you to design a menu for

a five-year-old's birthday party. Wonderful. Caviar. I've got a great idea of caviar. Some Wagyu beef. Some scallops, some beautiful Wagyu beef. Lots of text messages of people who have been helped By so called experts That hasn't actually helped at all

I'm a painter apprentice My grandad actually wrote the papers That you sit to become qualified Yeah I also work for him So you're like Why am I even bothering This is a walk in the park

He helped me out I failed He wrote the papers. I failed. He wrote the papers. And I still failed. Just give me the answers. Yeah, well, no, don't even give me the answers. Just, you wrote it.

Tell me how it works. What? I was born in Montreal and French is my mother's first language. She helped me with my French homework. I got heaps wrong. While I didn't fail, I got a lot wrong. When I got busted, I actually got busted for not doing my French homework. He's wrong. While I didn't fail, I got a lot wrong. When I got busted, I actually got busted for not doing my own homework because my mum flew off the handle and started arguing with the teacher about what's correct in French.

Now, last week we found out Megan can't say tarantula. And it must frustrate you that it rolls off the tongue so nicely for others. Tralantula. No. And frustrate you that it rolls off the tongue so nicely for others. Trilantula. No. And this is how we found out because... Trilantula. How long have we known Megan now? Because we worked this out the other day.

Coming up 10 years. No. More than 10 years. No. It's 2018. Oh, 10 years. So Megan not very good at maths and turns out saying some words, like tarantula.

What about a trill... Yep. A what? A trillantula. A trillantula? A what? A trill... Ah.

A trillantula. A trillantula. No. It's weird that you know someone for 10 years and that was the first time... Yeah, but tarantula doesn't come up in a conversation. Stop saying it wrong. So I thought...

Wait, wait. What about when we were in Cambodia and I ate a tarantula? A deep fried... I think we were all too much freaking out about eating one to worry too much about how it was said. I ate the leg of it. Did you ever say...

I don't know. Obviously not. Because I would have heard you say... Tarantula. Honestly, my way sounds right to me. That sounds right. Tarantula. Say it.

Tarantula. Oh, yeah, it is different. But when I say it, it sounds right to me. So I've not got any reason to change. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. Tarantula. Well, I thought it's weird that you can't say it

and maybe it's just because you're, you know, not as developed as the rest of us. Here we go. Mentally. So I decided to run some tests against some children I happen to know. Oh, God. They live at my house.

They're my ones. And I asked them know. Oh, God. They live at my house. They're my ones. And I asked them if they could say it. Indy, how do you say the name of that big spider? Tarantula. August? Tarantula. Tarantula. Say, Megan, repeat after us.

Megan, repeat after us. Tarantula. Tarantula. Say, that's your language lesson from a six-year-old and a three-year-old. What? I don't like the maniacal laughing.

How it came up was just at the weekend they were just watching some episode of Ruby and Max or some of these two rabbits. And Ruby's always very judgmental of her little brother, but it always turns

out he's actually right. Like she should just give him a chance. And he had a toy tarantula. And she's like you can't take the tarantula to school. And Indy said, is that the name of a spider? And I was like, yeah, can you say it? And she's like, tarantula. And just said it. I was like, oh. I said,

August, do you know how to say that? And she said, tarantula. And I was like, hmm. We've got a problem. Right. We can have a word off. This is fate's way. Especially with me and Augie. A word off.

They know some words. So now what? They can say it. I don't know where we go to from here. No. The thing is, if I sit down and I break it down, I can be like, taran, what is it at the end? Chulla.

No, chulla. Anyway, so I can sit down and I can break it down. But then if I roll it out in a sentence, I always just say like the big hairy tralanchula. Do you know what I mean? It's so cute. Yeah, so there's no confusion. People will be able to decipher what you mean.

Yeah, exactly. And it's cute, so there's no confusion. People will be able to decipher what you mean. Yeah, exactly. And it's cute, so just let it happen. It's cute, so actually you've got a great point. That's how I get away with a lot of stuff around here. I'm just like, look, it happened, but it was pretty cute. Let's just let this go. Yeah. I'd cost the company a bit of money.

I know, but can you put a value on cuteness? I don't know if you can. Let's just let it go because it was cute. Cuteness for morale is priceless. Yeah. You know how everyone gets jazzed when a cute dog comes to work? Yeah. Every day, this guy is the cute dog at work.

I don't know about that. Fletch Vaughan and Megan's Food Fights. The Kiwi Treat Edition. Well, we're looking for New Zealand's favourite Kiwi treat and it's round. It's item versus item on our Instagram, FBMZM. Once an item loses, a food, a Kiwi

treat loses, it's out. It's gone for good. It's out. Just doing some accounting over here, guys. Just working out some little quick maths. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'll tell you about yesterday's competition and who's out from that. First of all, Hot Chippy, a puddle of hot chips took on a chip sandwich. And a puddle of hot chips won that one, so it's goodbye, Chippy Sandwich. Goodbye forever.

Goodbye forever. The Milo versus Premo round, that was an interesting one to follow if you're a fan of chocolatey, milky drinks. I really thought Premo would have won this. Milo won only by 7%, so not an absolute thrashing. Yeah. But a victory nonetheless. Lollicake versus $1 mixture.

The lolly showdown. Yes. Lollicake beats the $1 mixture. That's so sad. I'm happy about that. So sad. Love a lollicake. Love a little bit of lollicake.

And the closest we've had, the closest without a doubt, even looking at the results, they were 50-50. You had to break it down further. There were 9,400 votes for Grain Waves, 9,500 votes for Munchos. So it's spicy tomato munchos that will go through to the next round. And only 100 votes. That would be one of our closest ones. Yes, definitely, especially after that many votes. Especially to have

nearly 20,000 votes on packets of chips. That is like, we love food, eh? Insane. So today's battles, we announced last hour, it's chips and kiwi dip. That's your cold potato crisp. Taking on garlic bread, the barbecue favourite

and the always room for more. Well, it doesn't have to be a barbecue. You can have it garlic bread at any time. You can have it with soup in the middle of winter. Oh, yes. That's very extra. Okay. Okay, stop.

Currently, as voting stands, 61% of you are voting for chips and kiwi dip. Yeah, it's not going to win, is it? In the battle we've just put up, round two for today, Chocfish taking on the Fruit Burst. And at the moment, Fruit Bursts are winning 56% of the vote, 44% to the Chocolate Fish.

I'm throwing my weight behind the Chocolate Fish. I'm a big fan of the chocolate fish. Voted for it first round. I'll vote for it again this round. No, I voted for fruit bursts. You get more in a fruit burst packet though, aren't you? And plus variety. You're just getting marshmallow and chocolate.

Yeah, okay. I hear you. You're getting different flavours. But what goes better on the side of a coffee? One of those little chucky fish. No, but it doesn't say I'm having it with a coffee, does it? No, but I'm just thinking you've got to think about all the occasions. I mean, fruit burst makes a better car snack

because the chocolate fish will go soggy if you leave it in the glove box. It'll melt, won't it? You've just got to go with the analogy, if they're both on a table at a party, which one are you going to grab? Which one are you going to pick? I'll probably go back for a chocolate fish. You're not allowed to vote for both. Yeah, no, you're not allowed to vote for both.

That's how it works. So you can vote now at our Instagram page, FBMZM on Instagram. Vote for your favourite. But it's getting, now we're getting down to these rounds, it's getting hard. Yeah. But you can't vote for both. That's the thing, they've kind of been matched up with something similar, but as we, you know, whittle them away, it's going to be some unusual battles.

Some, you know, whittle them away, it's going to be some unusual battles. Some, you know, not exactly directly comparative. What if you had to choose lolly cake and hot chips? Hot chips. Well, yeah, that's sweet and savoury, so could I have both? No. Hot chips and lolly cake for dessert. What about hot chips against Milo? Like, who's going to win these rounds?

It's going to get... Yeah, that's a very subjective mood thing. We've already been getting angry messages just putting these foods against each other. I know. It's only going to get worse. It is. Alright, you can vote on our Instagram,

FVMZM. Fact of the Day. I mean, we've all been in a womb or have a womb or have had someone in the womb. Okay. Yeah, we've all spent some time in the womb. I'll agree. Unless there's an alien listening disguised as a human. And they're like,

uh-oh, I better play along. Yes, I have been in a womb. Yes, I remember it clearly. No, you don't remember being in a womb. Of course. I was telling one of your

human jokes. The human womb is the oxygen equivalent of the top of Mount Everest. Huh. So there is oxygen in there. Yeah, so it comes through the um of Mount Everest. Huh. So there is oxygen in there. Yeah, so it comes through the umbilical cord. They don't breathe

like we do. They have a breathing like motion. Right. The fetus. But there's no breathing of the essential oxygen needed to develop one's fetus into a little baby. It comes through the umbilical cord. The best time to summit Everest infancy.

Is that what you're saying? You're used to it, yes. Yeah. Yes. Okay. Get that baby Bjorn carrier on and give birth at base camp and then make a quick...

I'm sure those judgy online mums won't have a thing to say about that. Oh, the mum blowers. Oh my, did you see what Susan did? She had a baby and climbed Everest the next day. Absolutely ridiculous. Insane. So apparently it's designed through this wonderful thing of evolution.

We've kind of become what we are today. It's been designed to keep the fetus asleep 95% of the time. So fetuses are just like, well, you guys haven't had kids, but they get really active at some stage. Like some people, it freaked me out when a friend was having a baby, they're like, oh, look, feel here. And you just push against something, you feel a really hard point. It was like the elbow.

And the mums, the carriers, I shouldn't call them carriers. It's like an alien or a virus inside them. The carriers, they kind of are more in touch with it and they can kind of tell what part's touching what, maybe like the butt or whatever. But yeah, this was definitely apparently an elbow or a knee, some sort of pointy. And then when my wife had it, yeah, you can always feel like the movement

and everything, but apparently they're just in different types of sleep and I sleep 95% of the time in there. And it's due to like low oxygen. They're just like oh yeah kept out because you know on a plane yeah they say if the the pressure drops you kind of just fall to sleep and you you go to sleep and then your plane just like plummets into the earth and like explodes into a million pieces and everybody's toasted in a crazy inferno but you're asleep so no oh good

you might um you might wake up as it's plummeting. Anyway, we won't talk about that now. If people were screaming, they'd probably wake up. Shush. Why don't they? No, they're asleep too. All right. Why don't they just turn the pressure down in the cabin then?

And make people go to sleep. So air hostesses and flight attendants don't have to do anything. No, they have little tricks like that. They have little tricks like that. They turn the temperature up and make it real toasty warm so people fall asleep. Much like a womb, which is toasty. Yeah, they've got a womb setting on the cabin. Have you seen that panel at the front when you get on the plane?

It's a big panel. And they're like tapping the panel. Yeah, they tap the panel. They're like womb setting. And then you lower, you put the mask on, and an umbilical cords to mummy plane, and then the whole thing fills up with a warm, ambiotic fluid. And then you're just like

and then when they open the door at the end you just flop out. The plane gives a little squeeze. The future of air travel by Bourne Smith. And then they come out and they spray you off and someone hangs you upside down, whacks you

on the arse to clear your airways, and then they go, congratulations, Australia, you've got some new babies. Brilliant. That would be a wonderful way to fly. Probably a pretty heavy way to fly, actually, filling a cabin up with that sort of fluid. Yeah. Anyway, that's something for me to work on in my own time,

really dedicate some thought to that. But today's fact of the day is that the human womb is the oxygen equivalent at the top of Mount Everest. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Fletch, Vaughn and Megan. The podcast. If you're just dragging yourself off to work, this might not help. Unless you work for Paul Kelly,

because then you're probably skipping to work. I don't think anyone reading this is like, comparing to their work parties is going to be happy. Don't. You know how you see some people and you're like, oh, you don't compare your life to their life, because it's always going to fall short. Don't compare your work to this work

because it might fall short. But well-known in Christchurch, Christchurch business owner, Paul Kelly. He's been in business for 20 years. Yeah, Paul Kelly Motors. Yeah, and you said you just said he had the stand, didn't he? Well, yeah, because we were just there at the old Lancaster Park.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's had naming rights for that for ages now. Yeah, the cheerleaders. Lots of these just very well known in Christchurch, people who aren't from Christchurch and listening. And he is celebrating 20 years in business by taking 45 of his staff, all of them, all 45 staff members,

for a week-long stay at the Bellagio Resort in Las Vegas to celebrate 20 years in business. Oh, that's a nice hotel in Vegas. I know, he's not taking them to Vegas and chucking them in Treasure Island down the end, which is nice but it's no Bellagio down the end. They've got the fountain out the front, don't they? First of all, flights to Vegas

for 45 people. Good lord. And a week, it's not like two nights. Is it too late for me to do weekend reception? I was going to say I don't know about hiring any sort of like part time. I'll just do a couple of weeks if I can get in on this trip. Hello, welcome to Paul Kelly.

Do your best. Welcome. Just call back later. I'm busy. Get back to my mind sweeper on Windows. Click, click. When did we go to Las Vegas? God damn it. I was looking at you asking about Vegas and I clicked on a mine. Back to the drawing board.

Reset. Click. Damn it. First click. Now that's just bad luck. That's not a lack of skill. That's just complete bad luck for your first click, Karen. What's your record?

Shut up. I'm new here. When are we going to Vegas again? So, yeah, they're all going to... Is it part-timers as well? I don't... Because I'm not going to go down and do reception at Paul Kelly if I'm not going to Vegas.

Yeah. And I'm not leaving this easy job. Right, yeah. I'll go down and work for him when I get fired, but until then... But then we've already been to Vegas. You missed the Vegas trip. But apparently he does a pretty good staff trip anyway. Staff, like, parties. Man, that's... I mean, we can't complain. want to get fired but until then but then we've already been to Vegas you missed the Vegas trip but apparently does a pretty good

staff trip anyway staff like parties man that's I mean we can't complain I don't know we get a pretty good like before Christmas we went to Slipper Island

the coast of the Coromandel Peninsula Tairua beautiful spot that was like that was our Christmas party and my favourite thing about work parties

is they're not mandatory so I don't have to go I just sit at home. Or you go, and then you just go. Just sneak, just whew. Or be like, yeah, yeah, what time? Whew. Vaughan disappears.

Yeah. Mr. Star, can I feel so well? Now, that's all we'll say. So, we were wondering this morning, we want to hear about the great work parties. Yeah. We want to hear about what made your work party lame. Oh, we want to hear about the great work parties. Yeah. We want to hear about what made your work party lame.

Oh, we want to hear about the lamest work parties you've had. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Where maybe there was going to be a big, you know, get ready, it's going to be a great staff do, big surprises,

I've taken care of organising it and it was just no good. I mean, we don't want a story on the Fiji taking you around a Fiji level. We want this on the lamest work parties that you've been involved in. Yeah.

Or you've had to go to. Yeah. Like Biccies on a plate and instant coffee or something. Yeah, right. Okay. That would be like real bad. Imagine if your work party was worse than just your average day at work. Where you went there and there was less biscuit selection.

All right. 0800DARNZATM9696, when have you been to an absolutely lame work party? Give us a call. We're trying to make you terrible work parties. It doesn't have to be a Christmas party. It could be a party at any time of the year, how it fell short of expectation.

And good for morale. It's good to work somewhere where it makes you feel appreciated. Appreciated for all the work that you've done that year. Some text messages in. The company emailed around saying this year's Christmas party was going to be egg and spoon races at Mangere Park. RSVP's essential as they need to get teams sorted. And they needed to know how many egg and spoons.

Nobody replied. Nobody wanted to go. They cancelled it and gave everyone a real pass-ag email about why they cancelled it. They put it back on the staff. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They definitely put it back on the staff. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They definitely put it back on them. I worked for a gym once.

And the year I started the stuff, it was awesome. It was paintball, go-karts, bit of a night on the booze. It was great fun. Everyone always talked about how good it was. Then the year I worked there, the end of staff party, they said it was at this place. And everyone's getting a little bit excited. Yeah.

Go to a hotel conference room where there was only water. We got a notepad and pen each and a three hour motivational speaker. No thanks. That's not a party. That's a meeting. Yeah. That's something that I don't want to have to go to. Yeah. Ashley,

what happened? So we got told that we were going out for lunch and drinks. And I was thinking, yep, cold water's only nice. Yep. Yep, yep. And so we got to this place, like, literally just up the road from work. We got a drink each, and we shared a platter meant for two people between eight people.

Oh, that's a good one. Because if something says platter for two, I mean, that's one. That's just me. Yeah, same. a good one. Because if something says play it for two, I mean, that's one. That's just me. Yeah, same. Yeah. Wow. So it wasn't really the raging party you had in your head? No, not at all. And I was thinking, you know, I've had kids and stuff,

so I've been out of work for a while, so I was so excited to go out for, you know, a work do. With adults? Yeah, I was, yeah, it was pretty disappointing. But I mean, I wasn't complaining, kind of complaining because I was new. Right, but it's no trip to Vegas, though, is it? No, it's no trip to Vegas.

I mean, I could probably try and hint, but I don't know. Yeah. Hey, thanks you, Cole Ashley. Cole, thanks, guys. Brad, you got really excited about your staff party. What happened? Oh, we worked all day, and on the last day of work, got given a peanut slab.

And what, did they give you a card? Like, what did they say when they gave it to you? Have a good day. Did that make you feel valued as an employee? Oh, absolutely. I love it, you know. That's the reason I come to work every day for the rest of the year. And a peanut slab.

And so what do you think when you hear that, like, this guy's taking all of his employees to Vegas? Oh, well, you know, might have to change careers. Yeah. Getting the cars out. Better than a peanut slab. All right, thanks, Brad. Yeah. Getting the car sales. It was better than a peanut slab. Right, thanks, Brad. Some other text messages in.

Our boss said on Monday, hey guys, tomorrow night I'm going to need everyone to hang around a little bit longer. We thought, oh God, stock take or something. But no,

it was our work do. He had a plate of samosas and sausage rolls. Yeah. We were allowed one drink each. And our partners obviously weren't invited because nobody knew it was going to be the party until the party started happening.

That's why he did it. He played it low-key. A surprise party. Yeah. Rocking on the old surprise party. Somebody else said we went to go on a boat for our work do and everyone was really excited. It was going to be great. The boat had broken down

so the boss said, oh well, work due cancelled and just cancelled it on the spot when we were all Oh, that's depressing. racked up and ready to go.

Somebody else said our boss had a staff party in the stock room at work so we all had to sit on boxes because there was no room for chairs. We had a couple of cheap pizzas

and I was actually working so I kept having to go out the front of the store and assist customers and come back. Your bosses sound like your parents sometime, eh? Like, some people have real good parents and others just give you pizzas out the back. My parents never gave us pizzas or anything.