ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Megan Podcast - May 11 2018

Episode Date: May 10, 2018

We put Megan through the Mammal quiz, Community Notices and when did you pretend to be in a relationship?See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is the Fletchford and Megan podcast, thanks to Spark. Shoot incredible videos in super slow-mo with the Samsung Galaxy S9. 10 out of 10. FBM ZM. Thanks to Spark. Turn your selfie into an emoji with the Samsung Galaxy S9. From nzherald.co.nz, this is ZM News. Kia ora, good morning.

An Auckland office building remains at the centre of a gas leak or chemical leak remains off limits. Oh. Well, that didn't last long, did it? Get it together, millennial. Get it together, millennial. OK. Come on, guys. We got to get through this.

We've got a long, long climb. Long day. Donald Trump has a date. Do you need Vaughn to do it? Give it to Vaughn. Also, she's reading the news on her phone. How does a drunk person lose their laptop? Okay.

Unbelievable, aren't you? One minute. Do you want me to start from the start? An Auckland office building at the centre of a gas or chemical leak remains off limits this morning. Augusta House on Victoria Street West was evacuated twice yesterday with people needing to be hospitalised both times. Donald Trump has a date and a location for his meeting with Kim Jong-un.

The US President will meet the North Korean leader in Singapore just a month from now on June the 12th. Trump says he's defied the odds so far and he hopes that that will continue. A train and car have collided in the Bay of Plenty. Emergency services have been called just south of Te Puke. No reported injuries. And it's been labelled as Stormageddon. The country is in the firing line of an extreme Tasman Sea storm heading this way.

There are risks of slips and localised flash floods with potentially torrential, you don't put torrentially potential, potentially torrential next to each other, do you? No, I wouldn't have. I'm going to rhyme the names from now on. Weather this weekend. Oh, I would say thanks, Anya, but that was terrible. Now on this weekend. ZM Splash, Vaughn and Megan.

Oh, I would say thanks, Anya, but that was terrible. Look, that's how a broadcasting professional does the news a little bit all over. Granted, I was, I sounded it, but I'm fine. I was at home in bed at like 10.30. I was done. It was a big night for the show last night. You guys got lit. We all got a little bit drunkies, didn't we? Yeah.

Have you deleted social media or are you happy to let the evidence remain for the following 12 hours? Oh, we're just following 12 hours. Just let's not even bother. It's your social media, mate. You're in G, you can delete it. I, like I'm sewing McDonald's. I'll start the show by saying I'm taking legal action against 24-hour McDonald's who had a 10-minute downtime on the way to work. For cleaning. Yeah, but that's not a 24-hour McDonald's. had a 10 minute downtime on the way to work. For cleaning.

Yeah but that's not a 24 hour McDonald's. So they just wouldn't serve you? Well they were just like we're just going to clean up and I'd be waiting

five minutes. They'd like give us five minutes. I'm like that's not a 24 hour McDonald's. That's a 23 hour 50 McDonald's advertised as such

and I wouldn't have come. Right. What were they mopping or something? Yeah they were just doing everything. Oh no they've got to get ready. No but it's did they shut the door? No the doors Right What were they Were they mopping or something Yeah they were just Doing everything Oh no they gotta get ready

Every No but it's Did they shut the door No the doors were open And you walked in Yeah And everybody working There was like five people

At like Five in the morning All who work In the radio industry Yeah pretty much Fletch came in and said I don't want my porridge Don't want my porridge

I'm not eating porridge today Sloppy Sloppy hot porridge Sloppy, sloppy hot porridge. Sloppy is not. It's not a hungover food. It's not a hungover food. Vaughan, do we know what's on the top six? No idea. No idea.

Okay, it's one of those shows today, is it? What time's that happening? Jesus, Caitlin, we should have put that right at the end of the six o'clock hour. To give Vaughan more time. Yeah. Nice. That's what happens if top six ever happens just before seven. It's because I've

not got it sorted. Give away the secrets. All right, you lot. Listen up. It's story time. Three news headlines. Vaughan and Megan, you must pick one headline.

Interesting, weird, unusual, quirky news stories that I've found online. Headline one, GPS takes tourists for the real country experience. Headline one, GPS takes tourists for the real country experience. Headline two, fleeing bank robber

picks bad place to hide. And headline three, man's tattoo leads to mix up. Those are the headlines. You pick, Fletch. Opting out early. Megan is just out She's out

In fact, Megan's talking about Uber Eats Saying really bad, naughty breakfast food I know That's how I know And you never do that Yeah You normally eat your hard-boiled eggs

I know What's wrong with you? And a couple of very dry-sounding crackers Yes I'll choose then Okay, do it Three Man's tattoo leads to mix-up.

Yes. Okay. Yeah, I like that one. Okay. Megan's going with anything. And a 23-year-old man in the UK has been the victim of a botched surgery because of a minimalist tattoo that led to a mix-up. Now, he was getting a shoulder operation.

The surgeons were going to perform a procedure on his shoulder. They mistook a tiny play button, which I'm guessing was just a triangle. A tiny little triangle. A tiny triangle on his shoulder as the mark to operate. Oh, no. And it was on the wrong shoulder, obviously. So this is where the mix-up happened.

They were like, well, that's the shoulder. That's the shoulder. It's got the marking. Yeah. No, but they drew a big vivid arrow. Well, yeah, but I'm assuming maybe this triangle. They were like, oh, we're acting for a little triangle today. Yeah, they were like, well, that's it.

That's what they must have done. Even though a tattoo looks different than a vivid. Well, it depends how huckery the tattoo is, I suppose. Well, yeah, that's true. There's no picture of the tattoo. Right. The story actually comes about because it's used now as a training exercise for surgeons. Oh, they put a little play arc on it so they actually look.

Well, yeah, it's just kind of like, I guess it's just an educational. Because that is how, like, if it was written down left shoulder and you're standing in front of someone, their left is your right. Yeah, you could see the mix-up. We'd have to say their right. The operation is to be on their right shoulder. Yeah. We've talked about this before.

This isn't a super rare thing to be operated on the wrong part of your body. If you are having an operation, you've got to make sure before you go under that they know. Well, when they did my left hip, they drew all over it with Vivid. And then right up until you go in, they're like, checking, left side, like right before you go under. You're like, yeah, you've drawn all over.

Yeah, you should. Is that what they, okay. If you're going to have surgery and the doctors, you don't feel, have sufficiently marked the area, by all means, bust out the Sharpies and tag yourself. Scribble all over.

What if you're like one of those people that doesn't like a fuss and they're drawing on your wrong leg? You're like, I don't want to say anything. I mean, they've noticed. They're the professionals. It's not a bad meal at a cafe. It's like time to say something.

It's not. Some people are like that, Megan. It's not, oh, I don't want to cause a fuss. I didn't order a flat white. I ordered a long black, but I won't say anything. I'll just drink the cream, Even though I'm lactose intolerant Yeah Oh that's my fault

I should have said something This is an actual operation FM There's This is This is the next in that You know that giant Floating

Thing Of plastic In the ocean Yeah The size of Texas Yeah But here's By the way

It's not like All pushed together The size of Texas It Yeah, but here's, by the way, it's not like all pushed together the size of Texas. It's really spread out. Because in my mind, when they say that, I imagine that it's all like really close, but it's not. Oh, it's not.

Okay, well, that's worse than if it's all spread out. It's really spread out. It's not like you could just go through with a pool scoop that mum and dad have got for the para and scoop out all the plastic. It's all spread out, but just currents

mean that it ends up in this one area. But you can't stand on it like that. Right. But there, it gets worse. A plastic bag, by the looks of it, a single use plastic bag, as they have now been labeled, has been found 10 kilometers deep in the Mariana Trench. So we've managed. 10 kilometers.

Where, you know, sometimes you'll see rubbish somewhere and you'll be like, how'd they get there? We've literally put that in one of the hardest to reach. This is the undersea equivalent of a plastic bag being at the top of Everest. But just having blown there because I know people tie their plastic flags up at the top of Everest.

I mean, I don't know from having been there but I've seen the photos. And they tie them up there on purpose because they last for a bit but those are meant to be there but you imagine

climbing Everest and just seeing a plastic bag I was going to actually say a new world bag but I don't want to drag them into this that's going to be my question

is there a logo on the bag I can't see a logo on the bag can you imagine if it was your brand how bad would that be for your brand they're like

we found a plastic-use plastic bag at the bottom of the Mariana Trench, and here's the photo. And it pops up. It's like, countdown, like, we didn't actually have anything to do with that. That's a fisherman's fault. It's like bright yellow.

But where is this trench? It's that really famous Mariana Trench. That's really deep. I don't know what up with my trenches form. I didn't know there was a famous like crevice in the ocean. It's the one

that James Cameron was like, I'm going to go to the bottom of that. Oh, like a real deep one. Are you coming back? He's like, hopefully. They're like,

damn it, that means we have to sit through more overtime. I'm just done. It's just above like the Philippines. Philippines.

Yeah. It goes real deep. 200 Ks to the east of the Mariana Islands in the western Pacific, east Philippines. So how do they know it was down there? It's one of the deepest parts of the world's oceans. Good Lord. We've got a plastic bag down there.

Unbelievable. Not to be confused with the band Mariana's Trench, which we'll go over if you Google it. They're on there. Unbelievable. Not to be confused with the band Mariana's Trench which we'll go over if you Google it. They're on Twitter. Okay. I've got 225,000 followers. Well, they must do alright.

Good for them playing an iHeart Festival. Oh. That's good for them. Okay, good for them. So good for them but not good for the Mariana Trench.

No, which is now polluted. Which is 10.9, nearly 11 kilometres deep and we've somehow got a plastic bag to the bottom of it. Good, which is now polluted. Which is 10.9, nearly 11 kilometres deep. And we've somehow got a plastic bag to the bottom of it. Good one, humans. Good one, dickheads. All of us.

Collective dickhead. The Top Six with Vaughan Smith. Mother's Day this weekend. The 13th. It's a Sunday. Don't forget, your mother's a precious woman. Yep. She's a block of cheese't forget. Your mother's a precious woman. Yep. She's a block of cheese.

I've decided whatever cheese you want your mum to be. Not tasty. Probably don't call your mum Blue Vein. No. Mum, you're Blue Vein because you're stanky. Don't call your mum any kind of cheese. No, no. This mother's day. Well, unless she's a huge fan of cheese.

Sure. Get her a nice little cheese board with cheese options. Oh, yum. God, I love a cheese board. Top six things you can say to your mum this Mother's Day that'll melt her little heart. Number six. Mum, I went to the bathroom before I left the house today. Just like you always said.

It's good. They like to know advice is sticking with it. You know how you go to the toilet? Yeah. No. And then the minute you get a car, I need to go to a toilet. I told you to go at home. Yeah.

And she'll be proud now that you're just day-to-day living that advice. You're doing it by yourself as a grown-ass adult. A grown-ass little block of cheese. Number five on the list of the top six things

you can say to your mum this weekend that'll melt her little heart. Mum, I'm so proud of you for making me, me. You did a great job. A welcome relief from the other failures you had along the way. And then that's also a sibling burn, which is great on any sort of failures. Yeah, that's a good one.

Unless you're an only child, then. I don't know. I don't know if that would work as well. Yeah, because you're probably in a right little rat bag, actually, if you're an only child. You're no good at sharing, that's for sure. Number four on the list of the top six things you can say to your mum this weekend that'll melt her little heart.

Mum, I'm not in jail, and it's all thanks to you. Unless, of course, you are going to jail. Yes, and then say, Mum, I'm only not in here for nine consecutive life sentences because of you. See you in seven to ten. Five to six for good behaviour. I'm a better person because of you see you in seven to ten. Five to six for good behaviour.

I'm a better person because of you, Mum. Yeah. Yep. You told me. And I didn't listen. Number three on the list of the top six things

you could say to your mum for Mother's Day this weekend. Mum, I was going to get you something but there's no gift that can even come close to representing

what you mean to me. So yeah, I've got you nothing. Yeah. That could work though. It could, I've got you nothing. Yeah. That could work though. It could work. It sounded sweet at the start. Yeah.

Maybe work on your delivery. Yep. Number two on the list of the top six things you can say to mum for Mother's Day. Mum, I was going to take you out for dinner, but there's food at home and if you're hungry,

have a piece of fruit. Yes. Yes. Have. Yes. Have an apple. And then she'll say, but it's boring at home. Only boring people get bored.

Yeah. And then you can say something like, what do you mean you want to go to McDonald's? The stuff I make tastes just like McDonald's. She'll be like,

have you ever tasted McDonald's, mum? Well, she'll say that to you because we've changed the dynamic of the relationship for the purpose of this joke Haven't we Yes

And the number one thing Because after all these Lovely things Your mum's probably Going to have a little Happy mum tear You can say mum Stop crying

Or I'll give you Something to cry about Brilliant She'll always want To say back to my mum Yeah yeah And my dad too Because he was the one

He trotted that thing out all the time. Generally just before a good ass smacking. Yeah. That is today's top six. This is an exciting breakthrough. British scientists

have found an injection that can help you lose 6 kgs in 30 days. It mimics, it's a hormone situation. I don't know if, I don't know how hormones work. I know, it's a hormone situation. I don't know how hormones work. I know they make you a bit crazy.

I know sometimes they put them in chickens to make 10-foot high chickens. Yeah, and that's why we eat them. Which I'm all for because then, like, I feel like I don't do anything to earn a chicken, but if I had to hunt and fight a 10-foot chicken for the right to eat it, I feel like at least I'd earn my meal. Yeah, because they're so little. You're like, take that little chicken. I tell you what, a 10-foot chicken, the talons would I feel like at least I'd earn my meal because they're so little you're like take that little chicken but a 10 foot chicken

the talons would be massive that'd be a wicked opponent especially you know if you were allowed a knife or a machete but no projectile weapons because the chicken

doesn't have a bow and arrow so it's not fair you should yeah true it would just be man versus chicken as God intended. One man, one 10-foot chicken.

I like it. It sounds like a great... That would be a great TV show, actually. Yeah. Like breeding docile animals to an extreme size and level of rage. And then you fight them. Like imagine a 10-foot high pigeon. On like pee.

Yeah. A peed like pee. Yeah. A peed-up pigeon. Yeah. We're ducking and diving in a pigeon. Oh, shit. Oh, shit. Oh, shit. Give it some crumbs.

Yeah. Distraction technique. Okay. How did we get here? I was talking about hormones. Oh, that's right. Yeah. Which make 10-foot-high pigeons.

So it is an injection, and they've used it on quite a few patients now. And it mimics the use of the gastric band. The gastric band. So the gastric band is literally a band that's put around the stomach. And that shrinks it. It makes them eat less. Yeah, it shrinks it right down. And you eat less, so you just feel full.

Yeah. Right. Yeah. So that's what they originally thought the gastric band did. It was literally restricting. But also they've found that people who had this surgery, they had elevated levels of some type of hormone that I can't pronounce. Right.

And they preferred to eat less fatty foods. So maybe that's what the injection does. It's the hormone that literally makes you not want to eat fatty foods. Yeah, they ate 30% of what they had been eating. So a third. So how do we get this injection?

I know, that just sounds like a great preemptive strike on a blowout. Doesn't it? Like, you know, you're going away for two weeks vacation. Yeah. So you're like, well, I'll just get the injection. Well someone I know No after the don't get it before. Oh get both. Yeah get both. No because I really enjoy eating. Oh right.

I enjoy testing my limits. Okay. So I would need it like you know for special events after it to just calm myself down for a week afterwards. I know someone that had this gastric bypass last year. Paula Bennett. Do you know Paula Bennett?

Yeah, I know of Paula Bennett. I've met her. She's lovely. Enough. Don't say enough at the end of that. It's weird if you put enough on the end and it changes the tone entirely. She's lovely. Enough.

She's lost a ton of weight. Oh, she's heaps of weight. Well, this guy, I know. I found out yesterday the exact number. he's lost 106 kgs. And he's had the skin removed. He was a big unit though, eh? Yeah, oh, he's 6 foot 5 and like 220 kgs. Jeez.

So he was a real unit. Yeah. But yeah, he's lost 106 kgs and he's had the skin removed and everything. You just don't recognise them. It's phenomenal. Wow. And it's pretty good. Yeah.

I think that's what I'm going to do when I blow out and give up. Yeah. Yeah. But again, it's the eating that I enjoy. Yes. I enjoy shoveling things in my pie hole. This is coming from a guy who rung his mum and was like, you're going to have to pick me up because I've eaten too much.

Oh, yes. At my friend's wedding. She's like, are you drunk? I was like, no, I'm feeding too much. And I spewed when I got home and they were like, man, you were booze last night, eh? I was like, nah, mum. I ate too much to be boozed.

How old were you? 27? 25, 26? Wasn't far off, no. Fletchbourne and Megan's Community Notices. Hello and welcome to Community Notices, a segment of the show where we put our finger on the pulse of the country to see how the heart's beating. Or we put a thermometer up the arse of the country.

Okay. And it's a very accurate way to get a reading. A reading, yeah. And you just never know if you've got a fever, so check yourself two or three times a day. Two or three times? Well, if you're feeling under the weather, it might actually make you feel much better, Israel Folau.

Excuse me. I'm going to start with my favourite. Okay. This is my favourite that's come in in quite a while. And I'm pretty sure designer wardrobe's not one of those pages. It's like, how dare you talk about us outside the secretary of designer wardrobe. It's not A. They're cool.

This is a cool one. Look at this photo here. Describe the photo. Oh, jeez. Someone's got a ring on it. It's too small. Oh, ouch. No, no, that wasn't the case.

Oh, right. Oh, that's what I saw. Okay. So on it. It's too small. Oh, ouch. No, no, that wasn't the case. Oh, right. Oh, that's what I saw. Okay. So maybe it's a little bit small. It's on the middle finger, but I would have maybe thought it was maybe a little finger ring. Yeah. Or maybe a wedding ring. Anyway, this is a post, and it's someone holding their hand out to display the ring, as you do.

And in the background, there's a wheelie bin. Yeah. Yeah, rubbish bin. Yeah. And it says, hi, I'm selling my Karen Walker cat ring. My ex gave it to me. Hair pictured in the background. $40 slight dent in the shape.

And of course, in the background is a rubbish bin. Okay, maybe I build it up too much, but I like it. So what they're saying, the ex is a rubbish bin? It's a can of trash, yeah. Oh, okay. Okay. Okay. Well, you know. You try these things. Maybe's a can of trash, yeah. Oh, okay. Okay, okay. Well, you know.

You try these things. Maybe work a little harder to impress us. You've got to go. Maybe you had to be there. Next up, this comes from a page that, I'm not going to say names, but it deals with teaching in New Zealand for teachers. And someone posts on there, Hi there, I've just had a teacher who was due to start on Monday have her dad call and say she's no longer going to be a teacher.

If anyone's in the area who'd like to be a teacher, please get in touch. You'll be teaching 12 kids in a year, four to six class. This sounds like a good job. I might get involved. Sense of humor essential. Time to play with the curriculum and try new ideas. But yeah, she's just had her dad call and say she won't be a good job. I might get involved. Sense of humour essential. Time to play with the curriculum and try new ideas. But yeah, she's just had her dad call and say she won't be a teacher anymore.

What happened? What I need to know. That your dad needs to call. Yeah, like you're a big girl now. Yeah, like you're qualified to be a teacher. Yeah. I don't think you can get your dad to call in. Yeah, but sometimes I just want dad to call for me.

Yeah. Even still. I'm not feeling well. I don't sometimes I just want dad to call for me. Yeah. Even still. I'm not feeling well. I don't want to be a teacher for the rest of my life. I'll make the call for you, love. You just go back. You go back to bed. Go back to bed. Dad's got this. Thanks, Dad. This is from the

Hibiscus Coast page. Always a good one from the Hibiscus Coast. Yeah. Robin writes, so I was going to work this morning, Saturday the 28th at 7.30am, and as I was reversing my car, I noticed that the light on the dash came on that indicates the back door is open. So that's got to be

a terrifying moment, right? Yeah, yeah. The back door is in like a back passenger or the boat? The hatch. The boot. No, no, no, the back passenger. Oh, yeah, okay. Oh, that's creepy. Yeah. So I turned around to shut it and looked into the wide eyes of a guy all dressed in black hood up also.

I don't know who was more shocked, him or I. It turns out he'd had a hard week at school and uni and went to a party and got a bit intoxicated. On his way home, it started to torrentially rain, so he thought he'd take shelter in our people mover and he fell asleep. Who leaves their car unlocked these days?

This always blows my mind on an out-to-out-of-two page. Someone's like, oh, my staff's been stolen out of my car. God, you can't even leave your car unlocked on the side of the road

anymore. You live at West Auckland. You should never have done that. So, he's jumped on the people's move to fall asleep. And he's fallen asleep. So I offered to drive him home, but he asked to be dropped off at the plaza for some breakfast.

Anyway, long story short, I just found his very nice digital camera in the back of my car. So if anyone has a mate telling a funny story today that lines up with this one, from what I remember, he was studying business. Please drop me a message. I hope your mum isn't reading this.

Let's find John. Hashtag Rodney Times. Do you want to know some good news? Oh, did they find him? They found John and reunited him with his camera.

And John was genuinely so thankful for this person. I mean, I wouldn't be as cool as that. No. I wouldn't be like, oh, drop you home. No, person. I mean, I wouldn't be as cool as that. No. I wouldn't be like, oh, drop you home. No, neither.

I don't even think I would have waited for the story. I would have been like, get out of my car. Also, if you're dropping someone home that's fallen asleep in your car, they shouldn't ask to stop for food. That's a bit much. No, yeah. They drop them off, don't they? Yeah, they drop them off at the plaza.

They didn't stop. Oh, they didn't stop. I thought that they stopped for a food break. I was like, that's asking way too much. Yeah, like sometimes I even feel bad telling an Uber driver to go through a drive-thru on the way home sometimes. Yeah, but you're paying for it, so that's okay. I am paying for it. That's true.

You are. I am. Next on Community Nurses, let's pop down to the Flatmates Wanted Taranaki page. Oh, Kia ora, my home province. You'll be very proud, as somebody's posted on there, saying, Hi there, guys. Looking for a place I can do community detention. Possibly home detention sometime soon.

Right. So that's, I don't know if anyone in the knack is looking for a flatmate who will be home 24-7 or at least on a very strict curfew. Yeah. That's an option that's out there. Something you look for in a potential flatmate. Yeah. Something trustworthy.

Yeah. Safe, you look for in a potential flight mate. Yeah. Something trustworthy. Yeah. Safe, you know, not a criminal. Well, if they steal your stuff, it can only be in their room. Yeah. True. So they've not gone anywhere. And finally, let's stay in New Plymouth for the buy and sell on New Plymouth page. Chloe has a request.

Is anyone going to Auckland and willing to buy me two boxes of original glazed donuts from Krispy Kreme? I will pay you $50 cash as well as the price of the donuts to deliver to New Plymouth. It would need to be a same-day delivery. Yeah, you don't want them... Yuck. A bit stale. You don't want them a couple of days old.

I'd eat a donut a couple of days old. But not if you're paying for premium. Oh, no. You need someone that's getting on a plane. She obviously wants a premium donut. You still haven't had... Krispy Kreme. No, I've had it in Australia, I think.

It's the same as Dunkin' Donuts. This might be sacrilegious to say, but donuts don't really do it for me. Kneads. I could actually murder one right now. One right now for breakfast. They're a bit dry. In the middle.

Donuts are a bit dry. You get one that's injected with stuff. That's why there's a hole in them. If we're injecting it, that's a different game. I'm just talking like a glazed donut. That's what donuts are. It's like Chloe here. She's after a pretty dry doughy. Yeah.

In the middle. It's a bit like... There's a hole in the middle. I want moisture throughout. No, you're thinking of a fully round donut with no hole, are you? If it's a solid donut. Yeah. Like a bun. It's got stuff in the middle's a solid donut, yeah, like a bun,

it's got stuff in the middle. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But see, that's to me, that's not a donut donut. I'm talking about the round donuts.

They're always a bit dry. Even if they've got hex icing on them, they're always dry. Really? Yeah. Oh, okay. They don't do it for me.

Can't please everyone, can you? No, you can't. I mean, apparently donuts don't need my support. They're doing it right without me.

Apparently. Those are today's community notices. If you see anything on your local Facebook page, screen cap it and send it to us, FEMZM on Facebook. We're just sharing our late night snacks that we indulged in last night. This launched off the fact that Fletch seemed to find

the one 10 minute window in McDonald's 24 hour opening thing that they were actually just having a bit of a tidy up. Was that last night or this morning? No, it was this morning on the way to work. I was like, you know, I don't need... But did you have nuggies on the way home last night? No, I didn't. I didn't.

You went nuggy-less. There's your issue. That's the problem. I was that drunk. I just got home and went to bed. Wow. And then this morning I was like, I need nuggies. I got there.

It was just the breakfast menu and they were cleaning. Wait, were you going to eat nuggies this morning? Or a cheeseburger. I didn't know. But I was so excited, and then I got there, and literally, I waited for five minutes, and then they were like, you're going to need to give us five more minutes.

And this is why I'm taking them to court today. I don't know how you do this. Papers will be filed. I'm filing papers, I'm getting a lawyer to make the change. You're looking for a pro bono lawyer. Yeah. So if they could take some time off from you. I mean, I'm not looking for like a multi-million dollar payout. I just want some food.

Some vouchers. Yeah. And I want them to change. I'm a bit of a Harvey Specter. I don't often get to the courtroom. I'm a closer. So if anyone from McDonald's is listening, let's bury this now. And close it.

Just carry some vouchers. I want them to change the sign that says 24 hours to 23 hours 50 minutes. Open 23 hours 50 minutes of the day.

10 minutes for cleaning. With a little asterisk 10 minutes for cleaning. I think they do need to clean though because otherwise imagine if they never cleaned. But this is a problem

you find yourself in a vulnerable hungover or a drunk state and you need food. Megan got picked up by Mr. Toyboy which is a problem. You find yourself in a vulnerable, hungover, or a drunk state, and you need food. Megan got picked up by Mr. Toyboy, which is a real role reversal for mum. And most parents will experience it at some stage.

Being sober driven by your children rather than the other way around. And he didn't even give her the option of a drive-thru on the way home. No, because we got into the driveway, and I was like, oh, we didn't go to McDonald's. Did you not off? Did you not off on the driveway? I don't know what happened. I think I chewed his ear off, to be honest.

It was like, blah, blah, blah, blah. And then I was like, we didn't go to McDonald's. We're in the driveway. He's like, you didn't say you wanted to. We don't want to drive. But I've been drinking. Surely it goes without saying. Do you not remember our vows?

In richness and poorness sickness, and in health. And of course, on the way home, if you're sober driving, we always go through the drive-thru. Yeah, it was like nuggies. And so, like, I went upstairs. He's like, oh, there's something in the house you can have. Oh, my God, that's something a mum would say. There's food in the pantry.

No, and so I went looking for food. And, like, short of actually cooking something up, I was like, Which, I'm glad you didn't. Don't drink and fry. Yeah. That's true. So I had some toast with peanut butter, and then I was like, well, I'm still hungry. More.

So all I had was a fruit mince tart. Oh, yeah. A Christmas mince tart. A Christmas mince tart. So yes, it is about six months old, maybe more, but it still tasted the same. Oh, that's grim. But it was desperate. I was like a little bit boozy and I just needed something.

It was cold pizza when I got home. That was wonderful. Wonderful. I didn't have any of that. I know, but I don't even know if I would if I was feeling it. I don't know if I would eat a fruit mince tart. No, it's not. It's not conducive to an end of a boozy night. No, it's not was feeling it? I don't know if I would eat a fruit mince tart. No. It's not. It's not conducive to an end of a boozy night.

No, it's not, is it? It's fruity. It's mince, fruit and pastry. I mean, it's a sweet pastry. We didn't go. I told you we didn't go through the drive-thru. Desperate times, desperate measures. And we want to know if you've ever found yourself in this situation.

When you've got home and being the responsible drinker that you are, you think I need some food in my stomach to sleep. What did you end up eating? What did you have to resort to eating after a big night? I remember looking at a, when I still lived at home, I got home boozy once

and dad decorates cakes. We've talked about this. Yeah. And there was a roll of marzipan icing. You didn't know. So what I did is, if you've ever seen, decorates cakes. We've talked about this. Yeah. And there was a roll of marzipan icing. You did not. So what I did is, if you've ever seen, like dad used to buy the icing

and it came, it looked like a luncheon chub. Yeah, yeah, they still do though. Okay, they still do it. Good. And it was open because he'd been icing and I just sliced

a little bit off the end because I was like, is this going to be a terrible idea? Terrible. So I'm glad I didn't just take a big bite. Like I tested the grounds to see if it was going to be... Terrible idea. So I'm glad I didn't just take a big bite. Like I tested the grounds to see if it was going to be good or not. I opened a can of cream corn before when I got home.

Oh my God, how good would a cream and cheese toasted semi be? Yeah, I can't even say it. Drunk people shouldn't be allowed to handle a toasted sandwich, especially if it's one of those Jaffa ones that closes it. And then you bite it if it's one of those Jaffa ones that like closes. Closes it. Oh, and then you bite it and it's like. Your mouth becomes current big land Hawaii.

Like, that's a volcanic eruption of lava temperature. Do you think we'll hear from anyone who's resorted to eating meat because they've been like vegetarian or vegan? This is when vegetarians crumble. Yeah.

Okay, well, what did you have to resort to eating when you were drunk? 0800-DARLS-IT-M-9696. You can text in. So a big night last night for the show. Kind of like our school ball, really, isn't it? Yeah.

The industry radio awards. So we all had a big boozy night, as you do. Yeah. And Megan got home drunk, resorted to eating a Christmas dessert. Fruit mints tart. That's all I had. Just such a weird, your body must have been, because your body comes to expect like salty, savoury.

I bit into it and I was like, tentative. I was like, no, we're doing it. We're doing it. We're doing it, baby. We're doing it. We want to know from you this morning what you resorted to eating when you were drunk. Harriet, what did you resort to eating when you were drunk. Harriet,

what did you resort to eating? I made a two-minute noodle wrap with cheese and barmy. That actually sounds really good. That actually sounds legit. No, I ate it again like a week or so later sober to see if it was a good idea. It wasn't a good idea.

Oh, okay. I thought you were going to say you tasted it again on the way back up and it wasn't a good idea, but no, you tried it. Oh, no, no, I was scared. They're the vomited noodles, just on a quick side note. Awful thing to vomit.

Awful. Because you swallow them. You should really chew them. Because if you swallow them, if you're just like... Yeah. And swallow them when you vom, it's just straight noodles again. Have you ever had a two-minute noodle omelette? No, I haven't.

They're actually pretty legit. They're actually pretty legit. They're pretty good. It's a good student meal. Yeah, but then I think maybe that's like when you are a student it's good and you remember it with a bit of nostalgia in the old rose tinted glasses, but if you tried one now you'd probably be like oh yeah. Okay, thanks for

sharing Harriet. Good work Harriet. Somebody said drunk me was getting into the habit of cooking elaborate bedtime meals like chicken laksa thai red curries and a mac and cheese from scratch what are you doing i don't know that's not good for your stomach like alcohol already upsets it we know that we know the morning after drinking a lot into a rich curry it's not yeah it's not good so that was obviously a safety concern given that i was was going full Gordon Ramsay in my drunken state. So now Sober Me puts a slow cooker on before I go out. That's genius.

You must have iron guts. That's good stuff. Somebody said, Drunk Me once enjoyed twisties wrapped in shaved ham. Can say. Oh, my God. It was really good. Wait a second.

Twisties wrapped in shaved ham. It's like a hors d'oeuvre. You can serve that at a party. Oh, my God. I really want to try that. Somebody said that they always get some pork buns out of the freezer before they go out. And when they get home, they're ready to be popped in the microwave in a steamer. And then they can sit down and have a pre-beared pork bun feed? Which is just a phenomenal idea.

Somebody else said, I ate a crispy noodle sandwich once, which is just exactly as it sounds. Crispy noodles between two pieces of bread. Somebody said, I ate a whole jar of pickles when I got home. That's a rough one too. That's because your mouth's already dry, isn't it? Because sometimes you can't go through the drive-thru. Or it doesn't happen, Megan, like last night. Yeah.

Very true. This is what you've got to do. When I was young, I ate a whole pavlova that was... Imagine coming home. Imagine the wrath of mum the next day when she wakes up and finds you've eaten her pavlova. What the bloody hell's happened to the pav? I'd put a little bit by the dog.

But then how did the dog open the fridge? I'd put a ladder by the fridge. A little step ladder. Yeah. So he obviously got on the ladder. Damn dog. Lara just writes, I ate two-week-old KFC chicken. But we don't hear anything else about that.

Right. I think to finish it off, Daniel, we'll go to you. What did your dad resort to when he was drunk? So he came home one night and thought he was eating luncheon, but it was dog roll. Wow. He must have thought it tasted okay. And when did you guys realise?

Was it the next morning? Well, it was a number of years ago, and it's been a family joke for many, many years. And yeah, no, he found out the next day. Oh, no. Mum may have mentioned it to him. But it didn't kill him. No.

It didn't kill him. He obviously enjoyed it at the time. All right, Daniel, thanks for your call. Have we got Vaughan? Where's Vaughan? James, have we got? Vaughan went to the toilet during that song. I told him.

I said, it's a two and a half minute song. You're going to have to be very quick, Vaughan. He's coming. He's coming. How was that? It didn't happen. What do you mean? I can't be time framed.

What do you mean? You went to do number? Twos and it didn't happen. Because of the pressure, the time pressure. Too much pressure. That I put on you. Yes. I'm so sorry about that.

I can't. I tried to get it started, and I couldn't. Okay. I tell you, I... You can't be told. What did you do? You had to pinch it off. It can't be told.

No, it wouldn't even... It's like... No, I don't... I won't go into the details. Rich Vaughan and Megan's Food Fights. The Kiwi Treat Edition. So we are searching for our favourite Kiwi treat. Now yesterday,

the round that we had that I can give you results for right now, the chip and dip. Just traditional chips with your Nestle reduced cream, whatever that is, that wallpaper paste stuff that I hate. I'm not the only one in New Zealand

that seems to hate that. Well, absolutely trouncing fruit bursts. 81% to 19 fruit bursts are out of the competition. He was just shy of 20,000 votes on that. And percentage wise, 81% of those votes were for chips and kiwi dip. Insane. A bit of a classic.

Where's everything else gone? Oh, it's disappeared, has it? Yeah, I forget what we did yesterday. I'll fast through, because we've saved it in our story, so we've got to fast forward through all of it. Oh, Caitlin's coming in. What's the deal, Katie? Here it is.

Here it is. What are you doing? What are you doing? What was the stomping for? I thought you needed me. What was the other result from yesterday? So we've got hot chips versus manchos. That's right.

Yep. See you later, manchos. 12%. Thanks, Katie. 12% of the vote versus hot chips, 88%. It's looking, maybe I'll jinx it, but it's looking like it could be a chip chip final. It's like that trounce.

They've kind of treaded. Nothing's really come close to the chip and dip or the hot chips. It's ta-ta to Milo. Cha-cha, cha-cha-cha, cha-cha-cha-cha. Milo, gone. Out of there. Out of it. Lollicake advances to the next round.

58% of the vote. How has it come this far? Get out of here, Lollicake. Because the next round. 58% of the vote. How has it come this far? Get out of here, Lollicake. Because it's delicious, Megan. And, uh... Was this yesterday or the day before? No, that was the day before. So those are our results from yesterday.

We're all a bit dusty today, aren't we? Yeah. In fact, all of these foods that I'm looking at now actually look really good. Yeah, you don't. They're in your hungover state. In current state. Now, we've got some new rounds for you to vote on. You can go to our Instagram, FVMZM.

We're voting in this round for crunchy and a tub of jelly tip ice cream. And not an and, or. You've got to pick one. That's a tough one. At this early stage, jelly tip, the tub of jelly tip, 51% of the votes to 49% over the crunchy. I'd go jelly tip. Is that more of a maybe? of the votes to 49% over the Crunchy. I'd go Jelly Tip. Yes. Is that more of a...

Maybe. Is it an ice cream... Breaking it down to the primalness of it, is it ice cream versus chocolate bar? Yeah. Would you always prefer ice cream over a chocolate bar? Yeah, maybe you would. Next up is sweet versus savoury.

Pineapple Lumps taking on Shapes. Now, Shapes have, in every other round, absolutely given a hiding to whoever they've gone up against. But Pineapple Lumps have also been a very strong contender. I mean, that's how they got to the stage, winning all their rounds. But not too many things have come close to Pineapple Lumps. And at the moment, Pineapple Lumps are ahead. By a lot?

60% to 40%. And there has been about 3,000 votes cast. So you'd say at this early stage, Pineapple Lumps will win that one. Easy. It's a fair assumption, but things can change. Jelly Tip just ahead of Crunchy and Pineapple Lumps a little bit ahead of Shapes.

That's today's Food Fight Kiwi Treat Edition rounds. You can vote on our Instagram, FBMZM. Also see on our Instagram, the state of affairs when I arrived at work this morning. With the whole team. Well, not the whole team, because James only showed up just before the show started.

Here's a little story. Oh, stop that. Thank you. Here's a little story. This weekend, I'm hosting a screening event of Avengers Infinity War. Now I'm a huge Avengers fan,

massive Marvel fan. When did you become a movie cinema? What's happening here? I got an email just saying, hey, would you be interested in hosting this screening? There's going to be some discussion beforehand, and I'm like, nerds, I'm in the element. Okay.

Because not only, I said, do I have to ask all the questions? No, no, no, no, no. You just moderate, I guess. Right. And you host the discussion. I, no, no, no, no. You just moderate, I guess. Right. And you host the discussion. I was like, this is great because I've really wanted to talk to people on the next level about Infinity War.

A nerd level. Yeah. Okay. Because you guys are all good, but there was some explaining to be done and you're not huge comic book fans and like fully into the MCU, the Marvel Cinematic Universe. I Universe, having seen all the movies

and stuff. And so, I was like, this sounds great. And a great excuse to go and watch Avengers Infinity War again. For free. Because you're such a tight arm. You betcha. Yeah. You betcha.

So what, you're just going to say, okay, nerds ask questions. So, that's what I thought. And I thought as a high ranking nerd. Yep. Did you give yourself that ranking? Yeah, I gave myself a lieutenant nerd. Lieutenant first officer nerd. Captain geek.

I could somewhat control the nerds. Okay. Yep. So I'm like, yeah, I'm in. Then I got an email saying, hey, we just need to confirm the time. I'm like, that's great. And they're like, so you'll be connecting with Anthony and Joe Russo at this. And I'm like, well, hold on just a moment.

Are you, wait a minute, the directors of Avengers Infinity War? What? So I have agreed to this thing. And then it turns out, like, I'm like, this is great. Piece of cake. Now I'm nervous for the first time in a while. I don't really get nervous about doing stuff because the directors of Avengers Infinity War are live streaming into this crowd and answering crowd

questions. Well, that now makes sense as to why you'd be hosting a Q&A. Yeah. Oh, no, no. I just thought it was like to keep the nerds under control because they get all like jazzed up. Yeah. And you'd never be able to start the movie because it'll be talking about it.

Yeah, yeah. They'll be debating and furiously debating about it. So I am now nervous. Because the dudes who made this now billion dollar on track to be the highest grossing movie of all time are going to be on

a live stream answering people's questions. Yeah, don't mess it up. I know. For nerds. You guys are like, oh yeah, he seems excited about this. But for nerds, you guys know what I'm saying. It's a big deal. This is a huge deal. What else have these guys directed?

Are they brothers? Well, they're doing the next one as well. I couldn't do a movie with my brother. Shut up. You don't know that's a good shot. We're doing this shot. Your idea is stupid. You don't know about making movies.

We're doing my shot. I'm older. I choose. Oh, don't pull your older card because my brother's older and he always pulled that and I'm like, no, no. We're doing this together.

So Anthony's the older and Joe's the younger, but there's only a year difference. Right. They've done Captain America Civil War. They've done a couple

of other ones. They did You, Me and Dupree. Okay. Which was an interesting jump from that to the Avengers movies. They did Arrested Development. Just to cater to you. Okay, well now I'm interested.

They've done some episodes of Arrested Development. They were involved in Community, that TV show. Happy Endings, if people remember that show. What else do you know about them? Have you done your research? No, I haven't done a whole lot of research because I don't think it's going to be heaps about them. It's going to be about the movie

and what we can expect from the next movie, which I don't believe we've got a title for yet. There's all these theories, if you've seen the movie, about what really happened at the end. What if they need a bald bearded brother just to fill this gap in the next movie? You always hear about those people that are just seen on the street.

The silver surfer. Or that's seen on the street and a casting director or a director's like, you would be perfect for my movie. Do you think? Yeah. Would you leave us? Why you would be in my review mirror. So quickly.

Yeah, it's not going to happen. Bye. Bye. Bye. All right, can we go at 8 o'clock? I think you can buy tickets to this too in case you're like freaking out. Yeah, I don't have all the details. I mean, you should. You're hosting it.

If you search, I know it's happening at IMAX on Queen Street in Auckland. On what day? Tomorrow. Tomorrow, okay. And if you just Google like Infinity War special Q&A fan event. Okay, well with those scant details, you should be able to work out where it's happening and find some tickets. They would have sniffed it out already.

If you're a true nerd, you would have sniffed that out already. Coming up at eight, double date. And yesterday, it was just a wee moment where we learned something else about Megan. She doesn't know what a mammal is. Oh, there's lots of people that don't know what that is. So we're going to put her through a mammal is. Doesn't know what constitutes a mammal. that don't know what that is. Hmm. So we're going to put her through a test next.

A test that I have found on educationabc.net.au. It's a kids test. Yeah. Look how cute it is. It's called Is it a mammal? It's in Comic Sans.

That's how you know it's for children. FEM. Yesterday we just found out that Megan doesn't know what a mammal is. Like what constitutes a mammal?

Like, what falls under the umbrella of... Who cares? M-M-Mammal. Seriously. I need to know that. But if you... How did this come up? Because you're going to have kids one day,

and they're going to come home, and they're going to be like... They're going to go to school, Vaughn. Ma'am. Yeah, but they come home with questions. Ma'am. Google it. Ma'am. What's a ma'am?

Ma'am. Ma'am. Ma'am. Hey, ma'am. Ma'am, ma'am, ma'am, ma'am, ma'am, ma'am. I got a question, ma'am. What is wrong with my kid? Well, I don't know, actually. They're your kids. I'm actually like, it's gone a little bit long.

I don't know if I can ask anymore. Like, oh, cute. Ma'am, ma'am, ma'am, what's up, ma'am? Hey'am. Hey, what's a ma'am? Hey, ma'am. I got a question. What constitutes a ma'am? What? What constitutes a ma'am?

What constitutes a mammal? Yeah, that's my question for you, ma'am. Is it a girl or a boy? I don't know. We don't know. We're too scared to ask you. You named it Alex. What's wrong with him, her, Alex?

And then you're like, I don't know. But then you learn with them. And they say a great way to learn is to teach somebody else at the same time. Yeah. Which is great. So that is why we have for you our mammal quiz. Is it a mammal? Go. Is it a mammal?

Is it a mammal? Is it a mammal? I'll simply say the name of an animal. Yeah. And you'll tell me if it's a mammal or not. Okay. Okay. Octopus.

Not a mammal. Good word. Good word. All right. Again, that was a complete guess. Oh, yeah, these are 50-50. I was just like, it's a bit squiggly. It's too squiggly.

It's chewy and it's too squiggly. I'm going to write down your justification and at the end we'll have the Megan reason for what's a mammal distinction. Chewy and a bit squiggly. Not a mammal. Not a mammal.

Next up, alligator., not mammal. Not a mammal. Okay, next up, alligator. Ooh, mammal. Not a mammal. I thought it was going to be like a big tummy. Big tummy. A lot of area. Big tummy equals mammal. So, Ed, that's already on the list.

Bit squiggly, bit chewy, big tummy. No, no, small tummy would be a non-mammal. Non-mammal. Okay, next up, platypus. Oh, that's a weird one, eh? Is it? I don't know. It's a really weird creature, yeah.

It's like a special thing of its own thing. Is that a trick question? A special thing of its own thing. Not a mammal, it's like its own thing. Nope, it Not a mammal It's like it's own thing Nope It's a mammal Oh I thought it was like

It's own little branch Of something It would be A special thing Of It's own thing Yep Means it's not a mammal

Special thing of it's own thing Equals Not mammal Okay Okay Next up A whale What Big tummy equals not mammal. Okay. Okay, next up. A whale.

What? Big tummy. So it is a mammal? Correct. It's like when you fluke a good math, when you get math answers right by mistake.

Yeah. And the teacher's like, well, yeah, I mean, you got it right. Damn it. Okay. Leopards. Mammal. Yeah. And the teacher's like, well, yeah, I mean, you got it right. Damn it. I did. Okay. Leopards.

Mammal. Congratulations. Spotty. Spotty. Okay, so mammals have to be spotty. Oh, my God, I can't deal with this. Okay, next up, a bat. Mammal.

Correct. Oh, damn it. Yeah. I was just like, say mammal no matter what you say. Oh, right. You're just like, you do. It was like, play the scissors right. You're like, I'm going rock.

I was just like, say mammal. Hit it. Mammal. Okay. So what? Just. I decided what I was going to say before you said. Predecide.

So to, for someone to be a mammal, you just need to take a shot. Yeah. Take a shot. Equals mammal. So if in doubt, go with mammal. So you're telling me a whale is a mammal. Yes. And a bat's a mammal.

Yes. What the F is the correlation? That's a really good point. You could not find two more different looking creatures, yet they fit into the same category. No. Okay, next. A kangaroo.

Is it a mammal? No. It is. It is a mammal. Kangaroos are equal mammals. I kind of, maybe I'm just branching Australia as all different weird things. Okay, weird things from Australia. It's its own little thing again because it carries its babies.

Yep. Own little thing. Got that. It carries its babies. Cool. Okay. A hawk. Mammal or not mammal?

Like an eagle. Yes. Oh, I don't know, Vaughn. Does everyone know the answer to this? It is a mammal. It is not a mammal. Any reasoning behind that one? I don't know.

It's got lots of feathers. Feathers? Feathers. Equal mammal. A lot of them seem furry. Oh, but there's the whale again. That's not furry And it's massive

And it doesn't fly It doesn't fly What doesn't fly? A whale I'm trying to find correlations Okay Turtles Mammal or not mammal?

A mammal No I honestly I honestly don't know what it is. Why would your reasoning be? Because you just had no idea. So that would go under the take a shot. Well, it's under the water and I thought like whale.

Whale, okay. Was, yeah. Under the water. Underwater. The whale was, so I was going with the water. Equals mammal. Yeah. Okay.

And finally, dinosaurs. Oh, no, that's not fair. They don't exist. Mammals are not mammals. Anymore. We don't really know because they always get new research and then they're like, oh, we thought the T-Rex was like this. But it's not.

Actually, it was like this. We don't really know. So they don't really know. Okay. Oh, big scaly. I think I'd be like this. I don't really know. So they don't really know. Okay. Oh, big, scaly. I think I'd be enjoying this if I wasn't so hungover. But I'm really enjoying this. It's so much fun.

Mammal. Not mammal. But they don't know. They haven't touched one up, so very hard to tell. So according to Megan, for something to be a mammal, it needs a big tummy, needs to be spotty, and have feathers, but

also be underwater. Or take a stab in the dark. If it's not a mammal, it's chewy and a bit squiggly. It falls into a category of something special of its own thing. And weird things from Australia can't be mammals. Their own category.

Yep. Yep. So wait, what's a mammal? When your future child comes to you and says, Ma'am, ma'am, where's the mammal? They're like, go and ask Uncle Vaughn. And he'll come over and be like, burn. Where's your mammal? I'll be like, ah, where did you get?

Jesus! Stop sneaking up on me, Alex. Christ. Bloody hell. You're like something out of a horror movie. Could you explain a mammal to Megan, please? A mammal? They breathe.

Oh, no, because they're all underwater. Don't worry. They can breathe under. No, eagle. Are you a mammal? Yeah, I think people have said... People say that, eh? Humans are mammals.

No, that's what Alex says. Why don't we if we're not a mammal? Like, what's the other word? Okay, so there's lots of other things that aren't mammals. Oh, okay. So we're... Of the vertebrates, that's animals with a backbone. Oh, that's...

Oh, no. Are we a vertebrate? Yes, we are. And then under vertebrates, that's animals with a backbone. Oh, that's, oh, no. Are we a vertebrate? Yes, we are. And then under vertebrate, it splits into five. Mammals, birds, fish, reptiles, and amphibians. So everything on earth is a mammal, apart from birds and whales? Oh, apart from everything. Okay.

Apart from quite a large amount. Because that doesn't also count everything that doesn't have a backbone. Oh, this sucks. Your insects, your exoskeletons. Yeah.

So, dictionary definition of mammal. A warm-blooded vertebrate animal. So a warm-blooded animal with a backbone. With a spine. Yeah. That is distinguished

by the position of hair or fur. Okay. And it doesn't have to be heaps. It just has to have some. possession of hair or fur. Okay. And it doesn't have to be heaps. It just has to have some. Like whales do have fur. Not a lot. It's not like a bear amount of... That would be weird, wouldn't it, if a whale had a bear covering. Yeah.

And the females that secrete milk for the nourishment of the young. Okay. And give birth to typically young, not eggs. There are exceptions like the platypus. Okay. See, I told you. it was on a branch of its own. Yeah, a platypus is in a world of its own. It's a mash-up. It's a collab.

Have we learnt? I've forgotten most of the criteria, but I've got this far, haven't I? Friday Flashback! It is my pick today for Friday Flashback. Now is my pick today for Friday Flashback. Now, I've gone quite old today.

1999 this song was released. Oh, okay. You may have had a bit of a thing for the main guy in this group, Megan, because at the time he was on a lot of

TV hits posters. I was here a bit of a... You might have wanted him a bit of a hard job. You loved a bit of a TV hits posters. I was here a bit of a... You might have wanted him a bit of a hard job. You might have wanted him a bit of a TV hits poster. This band have announced that they will be reuniting and coming to Australia. Now, I haven't heard if there are any...

Oh, no, that makes me sad then because that doesn't happen to... Because the good bands from then probably are just still good bands. Yeah, exactly. It's not a good sign, is it? You probably wouldn't want to go along and have your childhood memories ruined. Yeah. But they are coming to Australia.

I don't know if there are any New Zealand dates announced. They're coming in 2019. They're planning far ahead. S Club 7 and 5. Now, I've picked a 5 song. Oh. I've picked a 5 song. Oh. I've picked a five song today from 1999. It was the second single from their second album.

It debuted at number one and became their first UK number one single. Wait, who are you calling as the lead singer? Because they were kind of like, I was a Scott girl. Oh, I thought you might have been abs, into abs. Nah, nah. Google what he looks like now. I don't want to do that. I'd rather live in the happiness of the late 90s. Which one was the bad boy?

Richie with the eyebrow piercing. Couldn't say no to a bad boy in the 90s, me. This song made it to number seven here in New Zealand. It was number six in Australia. It did pretty well around the world, actually. Most countries it was in the top ten. That's good. And a trip down memory lane for Friday Flashback today.

It's five. Keep on moving. I still know the dance. I'm not ashamed. All right. ZM, it's your Friday Flashback. I woke up today with this feeling That better things are coming my way And if the sunshine has a meaning

You're telling me not to let things get in my way When the rainy days are dying Gotta keep on, keep on trying All the bees and birds are flying Never let go, gotta hold on in, non-stop till the break of dawn And keep moving, don't stop bucking Get on up, when you're down, baby, take a good look around I know it's not much, but it's okay, we'll keep on moving on anyway Get on up when you're down, baby

Take a good look around I know it's not much, but it's okay We'll keep on moving on anyway Get on up when you're down, baby Take a good look around I know it's not much, but it's okay Keep on moving. Keep on moving. Take your good and good care out. Keep on moving. It's not urgent, but it's okay. Keep on moving.

Keep on moving. Keep on moving anyway. Keep on moving. Get on up. Keep on moving. Keep on moving. Keep on moving. Keep on moving.

It's not urgent, but it's okay. ZM, it's your Friday flashback. Five, keep on moving. I've had that out of the park, haven't I? We're going to need to get a new ball from the third umpire out of the suitcase. Because it's over. It's on the roof. It's on the roof.

That's a good cricket analogy. Fletch, it was. Thanks. Some text messages in. Top of lungs, car dancing, embarrassing the kids. Perfect. It's funny how the lyrics of these songs just come straight back to you. I know.

So it's somebody messaged in. When the rainy days are dying. Gotta keep on, keep on trying. All the bees in the beds are flying. It's beautiful. Yeah, I quite like the harmony there. Yeah, no. I mean, there's a couple of haters, but.

Hay's gonna hate. Hate, hate, hate, hate, hate. I won't hear it this morning. I'm hungover. I don't need it. Somebody saw them live in London three years ago. There, hate, hate, hate, hate. I won't hear it this morning. I'm hungover. I don't need it. Somebody saw them live in London three years ago. There was only three of them. Redbed?

Yeah, they should have been called Thrive or something. Thrive. Yeah. Thrive. We need a report because, yeah, we don't want to be... They still had all the moves. Oh, yeah. And I screamed like a twain, they said at the time,

three years ago. So maybe, maybe. Okay. Yeah, no, people are loving it. Good, good. Good on you. Oh, somebody said, it reminds me, like a twain they said at the time three years ago so maybe maybe okay yeah no people will love it good good on you oh somebody said

it reminds me I'm taking back to jump jam at school oh yeah jump jam's like a fitness yeah we didn't

do dances what's that make you dance yeah we didn't do jump jam but my kids do jump jam they love a bit

of jump jam okay but that's why people are saying their kids love this and they love it because the kids know it from jump jam

and they just remember it being a... Your school was too poor to do Jump Jam. Yeah. The imitation one, didn't you? We just did jump. Yeah. Go outside and you need to jump up and down for fitness.

Hard on the knees. Yeah, yeah. Very hard on the knees. We go now to producer Caitlin who would like to bring up something. Yeah. I just, I think, so this happened to my friend and I just want to make him feel a bit more like

it happens to other people maybe. Okay, so this is the situation. My friend was graduating it was last week and unfortunately or very awkward situation him and his girlfriend broke up the night before graduation.

Oh, that's poor timing. Yeah. So it was... Why not just wait another day? Yeah, so they've been together for, like, a couple of years. Right. And it just obviously wasn't working. Like, they just had to, like, end it.

Yeah. And the thing is, is they had all of his, like, family coming from, like, overseas and everyone was coming down to see their graduation and obviously they just didn't want to disappoint anyone. And so now there's a bunch of photos of

him in his graduation suit and her standing next to him pretending to be a couple. So they broke up but then pretended to be a couple. They had to pretend to be a couple. For the family up but then pretended to be a couple. They had to pretend to be a couple. For the family. For the family and just for like friends, everyone, and just for like the whole situation.

So rather than spend his entire graduation day explaining why Margaret wasn't there. Yeah. Why did you use that name? Because I didn't want to accidentally chance upon the girlfriend's name. Rather than spending the whole day explaining why she wasn't there, they just thought, let's just do this, and then afterwards we'll deal with the politics.

But I almost think it's more awkward as well, because now... She's in all the graduation photos. Yeah, they're definitely not getting back together. And I haven't talked to them since, so I don't know if they've told family and stuff yet, but... You'd just be like, Mum, OK, get a photo with both of us. Can you also just get one of me by myself?

I've been at weddings when you know someone that's not going to last is kind of in a lot of photos. Yeah. And you have to, if you can see this, you have to be the person to say, hey, we should get some photos with just and whatever criteria excludes the person

that's a temporary situation. Yeah, yeah. You know, you're like, oh, let's just get a thingy photo and then, oh, let's just get a something photo and it's like a game of guess who. You're like, let's get a just get a thingy photo. And then, oh, let's just get a something photo. And it's like a game of guess who. You're like, let's get a photo of people who don't have glasses. Let's get a photo of people with not short brown hair.

Yeah. So, yeah, and that way you get a range of photos without this person who will soon be out of your life. Yeah. Permanently in them. So what are you wondering if this is unusual? Yeah, like have other people like faked a relationship? Like keep dark appearances.

Yeah, just to please other people, I guess. And beyond that, people that maybe they weren't ever together but they were nagged about. So they're just like, oh, it's easier for me to just pretend there's somebody and then you get someone to play that role, a friend. Right. Yeah. There's 100%. Could you get pressure to play that role, a friend. Right. Yeah. There's 100%.

Could you get pressure from your family and from your grandparents? Like, just to please Nana, can you just come with me to this function? And pretend we're together? Yeah. Right. And then Nana's like, kiss them. Like, Nana, stop asking me to kiss people for your entertainment, please. Nana.

It's inappropriate. It's not the 40s. You can't force people to kiss on... Why you got your phone out for a recording Nana? Put that away. We're not kissing. And it's amazing that you're a Nana but you've somehow managed to learn how to use a smartphone. That I commend you for.

Alright so 0800 dials at M. Should we take some calls? You can text 9696. When did you pretend to be in a relationship? And why? That's the more interesting part. What's the reason? Why did you pretend to be in a relationship? Maybe you had to please the parents, the grandparents. Maybe it was just the politics of it.

You were just like, look, let's just get through a couple of occasions that we booked. Maybe it's to get residency or citizenship. No one's going to admit to that. I don't think so. I like to keep that pretty quiet. Yeah. Otherwise you can be like, what do they call it? Eliminated from the country.

Yeah. Yeah. Sent home from Survivor New Zealand. Talking about when you've had to pretend to be in a relationship, maybe because your relationship ended and you had some events you had to go to or whether or not it was to please family and you had to pretend to be with someone

just to get nan off your back. Yeah. I don't know why. Some messages in. Myself and my daughter's father Yep. went on a family trip to Ireland to go and visit his family

for Christmas and they were traditional and so divorce and separation is just not something that happens. Even though we couldn't stand each other, he slept on his mum's couch the whole three weeks

we were there and we played happy families. Isn't that a good indication though? They're like, why are you on the couch? But what did she get out of it? A trip to Ireland? Yeah, true. That's got to be it, right?

A free trip to Ireland. Yeah. And then like a week. But then how fun is it when you have to hang out with him and you can't stand each other? Yeah, I know. I don't know. I just wouldn't have done that. I would have been like, no, no.

About time you explained to your family what's happened. Somebody said, my ex-boyfriend loved posting photos of us online after we'd broken up as if nothing was wrong. No, I'd just comment on it and say, hey, we're not together. Yeah, yeah. I think that'll stop him posting.

The message would apparently was just continue to pretend to be in a relationship. Right. Natalie, when did you pretend to be in a relationship? So I had just left my husband. Yeah. And the week after, we had to go to his brother's wedding. Oh, no. So I kind of looked like the awful wife because I refused to be in all the photos.

Like, I didn't want them to look back at, like, the ex-wife standing in the photos. Especially since, yeah, like, they would have looked back and it would have come out eventually that you broke up before the wedding, but you just didn't want to make a dramatic day. I don't think that's awful. I think that's really... No, you're a good person for doing that.

Because as you say, at the time, they would have thought you were awful for being like, oh, no, no, no, you guys should be fine. Yeah, yeah, but in the end, all right, thanks, Natalie. Abby, when did you pretend to be in a relationship? Sorry, so it actually wasn't me. Okay. It was kind of the same

as Natalie's situation. Yeah. I was a bridesmaid for my best friend at her wedding and my parents split up the week off. Okay.

And my parents were invited to the wedding as well. So I made them go and pretend that we were all happy family. Wow. Just for the day. Get your shit together. You are still married.

You've been together this long. You can do one more week. Sort it out. Yeah, pretty much. Wow. And it all went to plan? Mum didn't get drunk? No, it all went to plan.

Nobody knew. And it all came out about two weeks later. I was going to say, it didn't reignite their love for each other? A bit of role play? No. No. Damn it. Jack, good morning.

Will you call me by my proper tag? Hello, Gold Star Premium Gay Jack, good morning. Good morning, Vaughan, how are you? Very well, thank you, sir. Always a pleasure to have you. But we'll get there, all right? Okay, go on. So, grew up in a Christian household, which means, you know,

no sex before marriage, no homosexuality in this household. Okay. How's that going? But that's it. You tell your kids, you tell your kids don't, and they just want to, you know? I know, it's great. You know, I don't even talk to them anymore, so that's even better. Anyway, so what happened was I had a partner at the time.

This was a couple of years ago. And I wanted him to sleep over. But obviously, Christian household, you can't sleep in the same room as your partner. So my sister pretended that it was her boyfriend. But then, okay. And he didn't sleep in my room because I'm a boy and we're not going to commit that type of sin. What a great low pole. Brilliant.

Her boyfriend was actually my boyfriend So we just had mean cuddles in the room And then of course they never questioned it because they're two boys Mean cuddles Mean cuddles Did he have to Kiss your sister to keep up appearances Or

Oh no they're just like Leave the house together and then a couple of minutes later I'd leave the house to go about my own things, and then my sister would go up and do whatever the hell that she wanted to, and then me and her would just go and have our little dates. Mean, mean cuddles. Nothing. So it wasn't a big house,

because there was a spare room. They're like, oh, sleep in the spare room. He's like, oh, no, no, no, no, no, no. Bunk down with the boys. Saturdays with the boys. All right, Jack, thanks for your call. Somebody said my Omar was dying with cancer. Dying from cancer?

With cancer? Okay. She was dying. Omar. So she's Dutch. Yep. Cousin and his ex-partner faked their relationship and went to the hospice visits and everything. And they just agreed that they'd pretend to be together for Omar's sake until she passed. However, being the old battler, it went on for a few months.

And Omar loved her and she loved my Omar, which is why they agreed to play happy families just for the rest of her life. You don't want to be ridden out of the well in the last two weeks, do you? No, no, no. Especially if she was part of the wooden shoe fortune. Or the windmill. Oh, yeah, the windmill. She was part of a windmill conglomerate.

What are those, donuts? The Dutch got donuts. Dutch with donuts, hello. Where have you been? Or if in the early days, Omar ran a good street in the red light district. Or if Omar had chairs in a tulip factory. Or if Omar liked that yuck, gross, salty licorice. I'm just naming things I know about Dutch people.

You're out now, aren't you? Yeah. Yeah. I'm done. To get my daughter into a religious school, I had to pretend to still be with her father. Oh, okay. Yeah.

He started touching my leg in the interview when the priest walked in. Took it a bit too far. Yeah, maybe. Yeah, yeah. Stephen, you've taken it too far. This is why we can't be together, Stephen. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day.

Today's fact of the day is that how long would it take you, Fletch, to swim like three kilometres Um I don't know Because it would take me death It would take me sinking Like an hour No it would be more

Maybe less than an hour Because what's the harbour crossing Is like two point something And I did that in like I don't know Forty something Can you swim like Did you stop Because what's the harbour crossing is like 2 point something. Right. And I did that in like, I don't know, 40 something. Can you swim like, did you stop? No, you can't stop. There's nowhere to stop.

Did you swim the whole time for 40 minutes? Mm-hmm. Wow. That's pretty good. Yeah, I've done a 3.2 one. There's one that goes from like one of the bays. Yeah, it's, yeah. Well, the reason I ask is if you could swim that distance

and you could swim between two islands, Big Diomede and Little Diomede, not only would you be swimming between Russia and America, but you would also be swimming back in time. Because it's the dateline. Because the dateline's there. Yeah, because it's separated. So the dateline runs right between these two little islands.

It was moved to go between the two little islands. Yep. Because that whole Russia-y, America-y, ongoing situation. Yep. It's like a, I don't know, one of those, just sort it out, you know? Just be friends. Yeah, lock them in a room until they've sorted it out. Like, get our mums over there.

A committee of mums. They're an international mum committee. They do. Get in there and bang some heads together. Yep. Sort it out. So they're separated by just over three kilometres, but also the date line.

And there's 21 hours difference between them. So if you could swim in an hour, technically you would not have not only swam between countries, but you would have swum back in time 20 hours. Wow. Which would be, I don't know why this... It sounds like it would be cold, like even a wetsuit would... Yes.

Yeah. That's one of the reasons I tried to Google how many times this has been done. It's in the Bering Strait, and if you know anything about the deadliest catch or Bering Sea cold, a lot of the sea can completely freeze over. Right. So even in the summer months when it is ocean and not glacial. It's not pleasant. It's not pleasant.

No. It's very, very cold. So nobody's swimming then. No one's swimming it. But if you could, you'd be swimming between countries, between continents. Yeah. And also back in time.

Or just take a boat. Yeah. Oh, you could take a boat back in time. Yeah. Or you could kayak. Yeah. That would be much easier, actually. Or just fly to a boat. Yeah. Oh, you could take a boat back in time. Yeah. Or you could kayak. Yeah. That would be much easier, actually. Or just fly to Los Angeles.

Yep. Fly back in time. But then you're on a plane, so there's already magic associated to that. Like, how do they work? Yeah, true. But if you're in a kayak, you know how that works. You go, arm, arm, arm, arm, arm, arm, arm. And that's how kayaks work.

Whereas planes, nobody actually knows. Yeah, because they've got wings, but they arm, arm, arm. And that's how kayaks work. Whereas planes, nobody actually knows. Yeah, because they've got wings, but they're not flapping them. That's a very good point. Yeah. Imagine if planes flapped. Should be a bumpy ride. Well, you'd need to flap. How would you get off the ground?

Flap really hard. It's only fast like a bird. But then the wing would hit the ground. No, like seagulls, it's need to flap. How would you get off the ground? Flap really hard. Just flap really fast like a bird. But then the wing would hit the ground. No, like seagulls, it's got little legs, so it gives a run up. Oh, okay. Oh, yeah, yeah. You're not doing it on those little wheels. You've got to go up.

Oh, so the planes would now have giant legs. Well, no, you wouldn't need a runway because you're going straight up. So you just, I'd imagine you'd park on some sort of hydraulic lift, and then it would lift you high enough for you to flap your wings. Oh, okay. No, the legs just jump. Oh, you you to flap your wings. Oh, okay, right, yeah. No, the legs just jump. Oh, you're just looking just straight up. Oh, what if you mis-flap though?

Well, that was my point, yeah. Because if it flung you up, but you were like, oh, don't move, and you mis-flapped, you'd smash into the ground. Yeah. Oh, well, that's aviation 101, and you've all passed. So today's fact of the day is,

I'm going to change it to kayak. If you can kayak three kilometres between Little Diomede Island and Big Diomede Island, you will go back in time 20 hours. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Joined in studio right now, special guest Sharnan Bem from Drax Project. How are you guys? Good. How are you going? Good.

Excited tonight because your show's like sold out in like 10 seconds. That must feel good. Ridiculous, eh? Yeah. Why don't you do another one we did we were gonna do one and then we just

and then we had to do another one because the response was crazy yeah we were even a bit nervous about even playing at the

power station we were like oh I don't know and then sold out and our manager was like do another one we were like nah I don't know

what was your biggest gig before Ed Sheeran I think one of the shows was 660 that we opened for them right I think but

yeah maybe actually at the Town Hall with 660 yeah that probably would have been probably the biggest show yeah or down in Christchurch

sometime or with Lord I'm not sure maybe one of those ones a lot of name dropping here yeah hey come on

we're just joking but how was it in front of like opening for Ed Sheeran in front of that crowd it was crazy Yeah. Hey, come on. We're just joking. But how was it in front of like opening for Ed Sheeran in front of that crowd? It was crazy. It was actually ridiculous. I haven't really even thought about it too much. We've been so busy. Like, but it was insane.

We couldn't really see like the majority of the crowd when you're on the stage because there's so, the bright lights. Is that good though? Yeah, it was kind of good. I know they're out there, but I can't see them. I went out the side like after our show while Ed was playing. And I was just like... And then I was like, oh my God. Because like there was...

I thought there's like two whole bits. Like there's one whole... Yeah, it was crazy. Did you get to meet Ed Sheeran? Did he like appear and all? Yeah. He was so nice. And we met him for like 15 minutes. Did you get to meet Ed Sheeran? Did he like appear and all? Yeah. He was so nice. Yeah.

And we met him for like 15 minutes and he talked to us, just gave us advice about stuff. What kind of advice does Ed Sheeran give? Was that musical advice or life advice? It was life advice actually. Really? Yeah. Yeah. Business advice.

I feel like it wasn't a situation to give like music advice. We were like at a bar but he would have been like so what do you guys think about these chords hey ed what do you think about uh this you know and they're like you know did he say anything about your music um i think no not really he was just talking to us he did mention that he he saw part of our show and he likes our stuff, which is cool. But yeah, he was just saying stuff that he wished he did when he first started

and things he's learned along the way. That's cool. It was really good. It was super nice. He just walked into our green room as well, just casually as. It's like, hey, I'm Ed. Hey.

We know, bro. We know who you are. Yeah. So cool. And so what's next? I mean, the show, obviously, but like going forward, what's next for you guys? We're planning on doing a lot of like writing.

We've got to finish this album we've been working on for a couple of months now, for ages actually. Yeah. So we're going to go overseas and do some writing sessions with people hopefully. And yeah, lots of stuff, so many things. Anyone famous that you're planning on writing with that you can tell us about? No.

Damn it. That's exciting though, overseas. I feel by the looks of your faces you've got things planned and secret so you're not telling us. It's like when 660 just put up a casual Instagram with Pharrell and they're like, ah, just in the studio. It's like, what? Whoa. They're pretty sneaky too, eh? Yeah.

So you guys are playing tonight and Robinson is opening for you? Yeah, really excited. I haven't seen her live before. And I love, what's the name of that song? I have. Nothing to Regret. It's so good.

It's epic that she was keen to do it. Yeah, we're so stoked. We definitely want someone to open. Everyone was just kind of like, Robinson. Please, please, Robinson. So keen to do it. Yeah. We're so stoked. We definitely want someone to open. Everyone was just kind of like, Robinson, if she's keen. Please, please, Robinson. So you guys requested her? Yeah.

Oh, that's cool. We're trying to think of someone that we really like and someone who is maybe in Auckland, so we can, I don't know. Don't have to pay for their tray ball. That's a good idea. Only reason. Yeah.

She is awesome though, so we're really yeah. Only reason. Yeah. She is awesome though, so we're really stoked to have her. Yeah, we just wanted to meet her as well. Awesome. All right, well, tonight and tomorrow at the Power Station, and all the best, guys. Thanks for coming in.

Thank you so much. But great news for the ugly people listening to the show. Now, I feel for you guys. I wouldn't know what it's like. Well, you're so hot. Things just happen for you. Having been wouldn't know what it's like. You're so hot. Things just happen for you.

Having been born a 10, dipped slightly to an 8, and then back up to a 10. Oh, I wouldn't say slightly to an 8. Well, thank you, Megan. It was only a 9. I was just trying to be modest. So, beautiful people, you know, they get an easier ride. That's a generally accepted vibe of it all. They even get lighter prison sentences. Yeah, that's actual scientific studies.

Science, scientific. That's where you go to one of those Rudolph Steiner schools and you're just like, this is science. Scientific. We've got one hour and four minutes until we can go home. Keep going. Keep it together. Researchers have found that it's actually people

who are rated very unattractive that may be the biggest earners. How do you find out? People earn more money, but very unattractive people make the most. Yeah, right. So if you're just moderately ugly, there's no upside here.

Like you're not hot or extremely ugly, there's no hope here. Like, you're not hot or extremely ugly. There's no hope. If you're walking along the street and you catch a reflection in a shop window and you're like, oh, Jesus, and then, like, good news. Yeah, it's good news. You could be a high earner. They've just done a lot of, what, research into earnings and correlated it with people's looks.

Yep. And they're like, oh, you must be really smart. Are they saying how? This was a transatlantic study. This was the University of Massachusetts in Boston and the London School of Economics and Political Science. They got together. They did this.

They studied 20,000 young Americans. Yep. They were interviewed at the age of 16 and measured on their physical attractiveness, which would be a weird thing to get funding for from university. They were interviewed at the age of 16 And measured on their physical attractiveness Which would be a weird thing to get funding for from university We want to talk to 20,000 16 year olds And rank them out of 10

Yeah primarily on their attractiveness And then three more times Until they'd reach the age of 29 Okay And then they took into account their health Their intelligence And the results showed that people who were more conscientious, extroverted, and less neurotic earned significantly more than others.

And people labelled as unattractive added more to that, as very unattractive rather, and they always earned more than those who were just rated unattractive. Is it like a pity pay? You're like, oh, you can have a bit more money. I don't know. Or do they know that You're like, oh, you can have a bit more money. I don't know. Or do they know that they're like...

But like, shit house, you volunteer your time for the study. Yeah, and then you walk in, they're like, oh, that's free.

No, but they don't tell them which end you're on, do they? Nobody wants to know. You don't want to know what you've been... I think you'd know, wouldn't you?

Maybe. But then being called unattractive is one thing, but then to find out there's a grade below? Yeah. That's great, isn't it? Yeah. All right, Friday Jams.

Like if you're a restaurant and they'd shut you down because you had a cockroach infestation. Yeah, that's a bit rough. ZDM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. For more, check out FBMZM on Facebook. ZDM.