ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Megan Podcast - May 12 2018

Episode Date: May 13, 2018

RIP Girl Guide Biscuits, we are into the quarter finals for the Food Fight: Kiwi Treat Edition and how crazy did someone go after the first date?See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is the Fletch, Vaughan and Megan podcast, thanks to Sparks. Shoot incredible videos in super slow-mo with the Samsung Galaxy S9. 10 out of 10. Thanks, Anya. Good morning. Welcome to the show, Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. I think that with the slipping of the tongue, with the reveal of the gender, you just, in your mind, have to give it a gender? Right. Even when you don't know?

Why do people keep it a secret? Like, you find out the gender, but they keep it a secret from everyone else? Oh, so they have found out the gender? Is that the idea? They have found out the gender? Yeah, yeah. Oh, I thought they hadn't. Because we didn't for Indy, and you just end up giving it...

A he or she. It's really weird. Yeah. This child of yours, you're like, oh, it's like a boat. A boat doesn't have a vagina, but you still call it a she. Why not just find out? Well, they have found out. But then why do you keep it secret from everyone else?

Oh, I don't know. Because I don't really care if it's a boy or a girl. Either way. Like, it's cool either way. I don't know finding out because it's like seeing what's in your Christmas present before you open it. You know you boy or a girl. Either way. Like, it's cool either way. I don't know if I'm finding out because it's like seeing what's in your Christmas present before you open it. You know you're getting a present. You'd prefer not to know what it was.

No, I'd find out. I'd way like to not know. Because I'd like to be prepared. Nah, not knowing's better. Fletch. We've done one each way. Either way. Yeah.

Well, you have. You've done it both ways. So you can probably say what's better. I personally like not knowing. But when it comes out, you don't really care anyway. I wasn't worried. It's just if it's alive and got all its fingers and toes and a face and a head. Yeah.

Everything, yep. I mean, I've not had a child born without a head, but I'd imagine that'd be traumatic. It'd be pretty freaky. I'd be like, where's the head? Oh, it was just upside down. I was be like where's the head? Oh it was just upside down. Alright you lot listen up it's story time. Story time three news headlines for three weird uninteresting unusual news stories. Headline one and you thought your kid's in-app purchase was bad.

Headline two, anonymous bong tip misheard by school receptionist. And headline three, Air Force makes public plea for missing grenades. Those are the headlines. Couple of explosive ones there. Yes. Because I'm imagining bong tip. Either it was bomb tip or it was bong tip. Either way was bong tip or it was bong tip. Either way, one of them was confused for the other.

It was bong and then they called in the bong squad. Yeah, right. Okay. We've picked that one. The in-app purchases is interesting because I've had a couple lately from your kids. Yeah. We got the Miss Colouring In app. And it's a great colouring in app because rather than actually having a colour,

it's just like you bucket fill. Remember bucket fill? Yeah. On Microsoft Paint, you do all the squiggly lines and then you click on bucket fill. And then you realise you didn't connect the lines and it fills the whole screen.

Or if you clicked accidentally on the line and it filled in the whole line. Yeah. Oh, what a calamity. So, yeah, just these little 99 cent receipts got emailed to me. I was like, what's going on? And they had a colouring in app and they were like, oh, I really want that one.

Click. Oh, yeah, I think this is Dad's password. I've seen him put it in. They put in your password? Yes. Oh, my God. Do you smack them? No.

I would have got a hiding for that. I just said, oh, we don't know when that pops up. Just press cancel because, you know, some of those could be worth, you could end up spending a lot of money. You should take them to the police station and put them in prison just for like five minutes. Do you really scare them? Just to say, this is what happens when you put in someone's password

that's not yours. I drove August to the police station. Did I tell you that? No. Did I scare her? Why? What did she do? yours i drove august to the police station did i tell you that no scary just the community you know the best part of what it was when we pulled in yeah there's never anyone there because the police have been centralized right so they've got this little community constable nobody uses anyone there pulled in three police cars and they're all standing in the window i was like oh they're expecting you and it was all on what did she do to make you she um swore at like at me oh not just

swearing she swore at me and we were car. I'd picked her up from kindy. Yep. And I was like, oh, okay, sweet. And just turned around and started driving the other way. She's like, where are we going? Where are we going? Where are we going? I was like, oh, I was just, no one swears at me like that.

So I'm just taking her to the police station. I love that. I swear you like that every day. And I take you to the police station. You're just harder to get into the car seat. You have got your hands full. No, but it's not happened again. It's not happened again.

She's got to caught on to the fact that you're not actually taking your own. Shadow ring Santa, I take her to the police station. It's emotional psychology. It was what my parents said to me, and I'm still scared of the police. If I'm driving and I see the police lights in the rear view mirror my stomach goes cold. Yeah, brilliant. Okay, well which story do we watch? Oh, next time I do it.

Next time I take it to the police station I'll video it. Okay, that'll be funny. Yeah, in-app purchases then. Okay, in-app purchases. Alright, we go to the UK now where a gran got home and she was a grandmother shocked to find that in her back garden, and they say back garden, but it's more like, you know, like a UK back garden.

Oh, yeah. Like a little square of patio. Like a little square of patio. Exactly. All bricked and everything in a tiny little, like, side garden. Shocked to find a horse was in her back garden. Like an alive horse. Yeah. How old did they get a horse was in her back garden. Like an alive horse. How old did they get a horse?

A live horse. Mr. Melvin is the horse's name. That's actually a pretty great name for a Mr. Melvin. Eddie also the Mr. in its title. So her granddaughter, who was at her house staying, saw an advert online for the RSPCA saying that, look, we've got this horse and if nobody gets it, it's getting put down. So she said, my gran will have that, I'll have it.

And they just delivered it. How old was this kid? 13. 13 year old. They knew what they were doing. Probably wanted a horse. Yeah, they knew what they were doing. Always asking for a horse.

And so she got home and she said, we can't. But then, like, the SPCA also shouldn't have dropped a horse off on a patio. That looks like concrete. Yeah, it is. It's tiled. Cobbled. Yeah, cobbled. Yeah, they should be making sure there's...

It's a... It's got enough care. Yeah. Well, another rescue charity, an animal horse rescue charity, has taken Mr. Melvin. And they're looking to rehome it because, obviously, the 13-year-old isn't allowed a horse. You'll be getting that soon. Already get it.

If not already. I want a horse. Yeah, every time they ask for a horse, I drive them to the police station. This is what happens to kids that ask for a horse. Get in the car, kids. Where are we going? Police station. Why? the car, kids. Where are we going? Police station. Why?

Because you asked why. I knew you were going to. It was a preemptive strike. FVM, the podcast. Over the weekend, the announcements came. I think this was on Friday. What TV shows won't be getting another season? What TV shows have been cancelled?

The highest profile one probably was Brooklyn Nine-Nine. I was going to say Andy Serkis, but that's not right. Andy Sandberg. Andy Sandberg's show from Fox. It was cancelled after five seasons. And a day later, picked up by NBC for a sixth season. So how does that work? They just didn't want it anymore.

Was it not working for them? They kind of deemed it to be working enough for them. So yeah, they cancelled it. But then NBC's kind of where Andy Samberg started his career with Saturday Night Live, so they're probably happy to have him back. So can another company just do that?

You throw it out in the rubbish and you'll be like, I'll have that. You must be able to buy the rights. That had, of any show that had been cancelled, that had the biggest online uproar. I know it's massive. It's like Parks and Rec and the American version of The Office had a real, real strong online following. But maybe that didn't translate into numbers. And then that's not even counting like your Netflix views. But then they don't, they'd get a cut of the Netflix views.

Yeah, because they put the older seasons on Netflix, don't they? So other shows that have been cancelled, Designated Survivor, I know you'll be sad about that, Fletch. I loved that. Second season was rubbish, Fletch. It doesn't have that overarching story, that big, fascinating, behind-the-scenes, you know, but the latest episodes have been really good.

In the first season, at the end of Designated Survivor, if you hadn't watched like the last five minutes, would you have been happy? Could it have lived as a one season? Because you know how they film in a whole season as a standalone, and then when it gets renewed before it airs, they tack some like five-minute thing on the end that makes it into a second season?

That's exactly what happened with that TV show. Okay, well, you need to find out exactly how many minutes people need to stop, like, watch Stop Right Now and put it online as a happily-to-watch designated survivor as... Standalone one season. Because that's the same with Dexter. Remember Dexter? If someone had said, Vaughn, at about five minutes away from the very end

of the fourth season, stop. And it will be standalone. And that could be the end of Dexter. I happily would have because I watched that for too long. He's in this new show on Netflix I started watching last night. It's really good. Oh, what is it? I like him. Michael C. Hall.

That was a great tease. Great tease. I don't know what it's called. Let me find out. But he talks with a British accent. It's weird. I don't like it. What? Is he British or is he accent. It's weird. I don't like it. What?

Is he British or is he American? He's American, eh? Or is he British all this time? No, he's British. No, he's not. Is he? Because remember, he was on Six Foot Under, eh? Michael C. Hall.

It's called Safe. It is. It's called Safe. He's American. It's eight parts. Yeah, I thought he was American. Yeah. So it's eight parts.

And it's like a whodunit in this gated community in the UK. You bloody love a whodunit. You can't say no to a whodunit. I can't say no to a whodunit. You cannot say no to a whodunit.

I cannot say no to a whodunit. You watch so many whodunits. I love whodunits. At the moment, I don't know whodunit. I'm guessing whodunit. Well, it's a bad whodunit. But you won't find out.

If at any point you know whodunit, it's not a great whodunit. No, exactly. Because I keep thinking, oh, they did it. And then I'm like, no, they didn't done it. There's eight episodes. They didn't done it.

If they're pointing the finger at the person, it's definitely not them. It's called safe. It's really good. After one episode, he doesn't know whodunit. What else has been cancelled? A lot of shows got cancelled. I didn't know a lot of them. In Humans, which was a Marvel TV show that was on ABC,

that didn't quite stick the way other Marvel creations of late have. Quantico got cancelled. That's Priyanka Chopra. Chopra. Yeah. NBC taken the TV version of the Liam... Oh, I never watched that.

Yeah. It had Rolo of Vikings in it. Who was that? He was Liam Neeson. What else do I even recognise here? Scorpion. That was that one with the bunch of people who were a little bit different, but they were great at solving crimes and stuff.

9JKL, which looked like a really bad version of Apartment Living Meets Everyone Loves Raymond. So that's why that got cancelled. Living Biblically. I've never heard of, but it's been cancelled. Sounds great. Unfortunately, it's been cancelled. Last Man on Earth which had Will Forte in it

which I watched the first half of the first season and really liked. It was a weird show. Basically everyone on Earth just kind of like disappeared apart from very few people and he was one of them. The Mick which was, I don't, because I got that confused with The Nick which was a turn

of the century medical drama. This one, no.'t, because I got that confused with The Nick, which was a turn of the century medical drama. This one, no. No, right. Lose for the Exorcist. I haven't heard of most of these shows and that's probably why they're being cancelled. FEM. ZM.

RIP Girl Guide Biscuits. After, actually, I don't know how long. This was shock. Ever, ever. 61 years. Forever, ever. Good Lord. You know, we've talked about this before,

and we've had international listeners seeing the Girl Guide biscuits they have in... Biscuits? Biscuits? That they have in America. Oh. They call them Girl Guide cookies. Those are amazing.

Those samosas. They are some of my favourite. Yeah, samosas, not samosas. They don't sell samosas. Triangle pastries. Oh, they're so good. Yeah, they have like six not samosas. They don't sell samosas. Triangle pastries. Oh, they're so good. Yeah, they have like six or seven different flavours, right? Oh my God, so good.

We just have like the short, bready one and sometimes it's dipped in chocolate. Well, the shocking news over the weekend. Yeah, so after 61 years in 2019, it might be that they are no longer. Now, it's because Girl Guides, they've said that they're only known for camping and biscuits, and they want to change that because it's about empowering young women.

They're not wrong, though, are they? No, but that's just surface, like first impressions. Of course we know that it's about empowering women. Yeah, the girls should be teaching, you should be teaching the girls not to care what other people think. Just take their money. Well, that's the thing. It raises $880,000 for the company, for the institution.

Right. But they don't want their girls out on the street selling anymore. It's a lot of pressure on the girls. It's a lot of pressure on their families. But would mum and dad rather give up an afternoon to sit outside the local supermarket to sell those or actually have to stump up some serious cash when $800,000 worth of

funding is now shortfall? Yeah, but they have the marketing dude from Countdown has said, hey, Griffins and Girl Guides, get in touch with me. Because Griffins make them. Right. But they obviously sell them to Girl Guides to make some money off. Or just sell them in the supermarket.

Yeah, well, that's what Countdown said. They could still sell them in the supermarket, which means the girls aren't on the street doing it, and then they'll still get the money from fundraising. And Girl Guides will be known for just camping. Did you do Girl Guides? I didn't. No.

I actually don't know anyone that did it. Caitlin, did you do Girl Guides? Caitlin, 100% did Girl Guides. Yeah, I did. Pippins, Brownies, and Girl Guides? I didn't. No. I actually don't know anyone that did it. Caitlin, did you do Girl Guides? Caitlin 100% did Girl Guides. Yeah, I did Pippins, Brownies and Girl Guides. What about you, Anya? Yeah, I did Rangers as well, which is where you kind of do it for too long and you're like 14 and still don't get it. Of course you did.

Rangers. Yeah, I don't brag, but yeah. That sounds like an evolving Pokemon, eh? Like Pippins, the little cute one that you find in the long grass. And then it evolves into Brownies. Yeah. And then that evolves into Girl Guides. And then it like Charizards up and goes to Rangers.

What kind of stuff did you do as Rangers? Killed people? Did you kill people? You like hired assassins? You like supervise the camps. Like you're the big dogs walking around, like telling everyone how to put the tents up. Oh, you would have loved that.

You would have loved that. The power of tripping. Does it explain why you don't ever want to come tramping and hiking with Vaughn and I, Megan? They don't want to go either. No. Caitlin and Anya, no. Why not? After I did Duke of Fs and had to do, like great walks, I'm never like doing a great walk again.

You're done. I'm done. Like those dock places are so yuck. Yeah. Yeah. Sorry, but also like. Those dock hotels are hardly like. I didn't see a receptionist the whole time I was there.

I phoned reception to get a towel and they didn't even bring me anything. Mattresses are awful. What do you remember from learning? What's your biggest memory? What did it teach you? Loads of arts and crafts, camping,

friendship skills, teamwork, team building. Yeah, I remember getting a badge for being nice to someone. And so many beach clean-ups. So many beach clean-ups. Oh, we didn't have any beaches in Fairleigh. Oh, what did you clean up? We didn't clean up a river.

Like the forest. That's like community service, but because you're little, they're like, it's called Girl Guys. Girl Guys. We had to do... Working alongside hardened criminals. We had to do... Working alongside hardened criminals. We had to do sleepovers, and we always had to sleep over in this hall

that was definitely haunted, and it was scary AF. Like, I used to have to call Mum to come pick me up. It was so scary. I didn't like it. I was like, there's a head floating. You're unfairly, so when you say you called Mum, you literally opened the door and you're like...

Nah! Nah! FVM, the podcast. The government looking at point-to-point speed cameras. Have you heard about this? What does point-to-point mean? So they've got these in Australia and other parts of the world and they're pretty

like, have you ever driven on a road with them? Yeah, so it takes a photo of your car. The Englands, this is massive in all of England's big motorways. Right. So they take a photo of your car at point A and then a photo of your car at point B and work out your average speed,

how long it took you to get from A to B. And if your average speed is above the speed limit, even if for the majority of it you've driven under the speed limit, but then you foot it for a bit, if your average speed is over the speed limit, even if for the majority of it you've driven under the speed limit, but then you foot it for a bit, if your average speed is over the speed limit, between those two points, you get a ticket for speeding. Oh, that's not good, is it?

It works, though. For single point speed cameras, you just slow down. You're like, oh, I'll just go slow. Some old maid in a ute always flashes his lights. Yeah. So you slow down and then you speed up again. But this is more over a long distance.

Do they normally overseas, do they give you like 5Ks, like a little threshold? I'm not sure what the threshold is on it. Because I've driven in Australia with them. Yeah. And yeah, you'll just always drive like just below a hundy. Because you don't want to be anything over. Yeah, that's good, isn't it? Because how

are you going to get around that? Well you can't because it's like literally unless you covered your license plate with tape. And often there's nowhere to stop along the way because you might think, oh heck I've been spitting I might stop for a pie or a coffee. You cannot get off. No you can't

you can't kind of pull over and stop. Legally, anyway, you could probably pull over and turn on your hazard lights and people think you've got a flat tyre and then you wait five minutes and take off again. But then that defeats the purpose. How long do you wait if you're 10km over the average? Yeah.

Just a couple of minutes. It's just maths for people who know how to do that. But yeah, so it's different. Where in New Zealand would they try it, though? Oh, it'd probably be motorway. It'd have to be the only place you could do it. Yeah, it would be motorways. Because they're normally for about two or three k's, aren't they, apart?

Yeah. Because I've only ever driven on them in Australia, and yeah, a couple of k's apart. I know on the big motorways in England, I think, because my friend was telling me about it, it's like multi-stage as well. Oh, God. So it can culminate like A to B, but then also A to C.

So you might have gone slow between A and B, but then you might have footed it between B and C and it will take it right from the start, as well as between B and C. It's pretty crazy. But, I mean, if it slows people down. Well, yeah, because there was a car ripped in half yesterday. Did you see that on the news?

No. Jesus, ripped in half in an accident. How did it do that? I mean, that's got to be a little bit on the perforated car, really, if it tears it in half. I don't know. Good God. What did it hit, a tree or something?

No, it's a massive accident. Good Lord. Yeah, awful. It's terrible. Yeah. The Top Six with Vaughan Smith. Today's Top Six deals with the fact that a $18 million lotto ticket was purchased in Remuera.

Do you know, when I heard this news, I was like, I hope it was some tradie or some... Yeah, out of... Some cleaner. Suburb urban. That was out of suburb. That was passing through. Yes. That was working for one of these, you know...

Yeah. And when they walked into the local remuer shop, someone was like, oh! Like that made that noise about them coming up. Oh! Yes. Even coming into the shop. And now they've got $18 million. That's what I hoped for as well.

Yeah. So today's top six is the top six things the Remuera lotto winner would have said after they won $18 million playing to the point that they are actually from Remuera as well.

Number six. Is that a lot of money or? Oh. I know. Yes. You're not even going to be able To tell who won it In Rimuera

Someone says Getting an extension Wasn't there I think It might be Steve and Margaret Driving a brand new European car

Oh no Steve's been embezzling From the company he works for Well done Steve Get that money bitch Get that money Number five On the list of the top six things The Rimuera Lotto winner Would have said Unstead. Get that money, bitch. Get that money. Number five on the list of the top six things the Remuware Lotto winner would have said after they won the 18 million.

Oh, God. Where am I going to keep that? What an absolute pain. I love, in my mind, Remuware is pretty much like a fairy tale land where everyone has a castle. Yeah. You do live in castles. They do. A lot of them do.

A lot of them have gates. Gates that they can control from inside their house. Unbelievable. Number four on the list of the top six things Remuware, a lot of women would have said after they won $18 million. Finally, we can afford to live in a nice suburb. Remuware has really gone to the dogs since the Labour government got into power last year.

Number three on the list of the top six things the Remiura lotto winner would have said after they won $18 million. Good. Finally, I'm going to bribe the council to be allowed to burn down this historic turn-of-the-century house next door and that 400-year-old Puhutukawa

so I can get ten more minutes sun in the evenings in late September. I do what I want. It's probably a legit argument that it's happening right now. It's just it makes the conservatory so dark in the evenings. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. Number two on the list of the top six things Rumi Rolando would have said after they won $18 million.

What's better? Is it a million or a billion? Which one's this one? Only a million. Poos. And the number one thing, Rumi, a lot of women would have said after they won $18 million, oh, great, no doubt Taxinda will want some of this

to give to those beneficiaries who want a slice of it but will do nothing for it. Not like how I worked really hard for the lotto winnings. They always want something for nothing. Not like me, who was born into wealth and had to work hard to maintain excessive wealth. That's today's top seven. I'm just reading a story about a family with 10 kids.

And they're all boys. Now, I don't have sons, but I've been around to people's places. And I grew up with a brother. It was two of us and a sister. Yeah, it's just me and my brother. It was hectic. Can you imagine? They'd been five times as many as you two ratbacks?

Wouldn't have made it out alive. Someone would have died, right? A fire would have been started. Something would have happened. A fire would have been started. Something would have happened. Yep. But she's got 10 sons. Why is this in the news?

Mother's Day. Mother's Day. Yeah, I heard a lot of Mother's Day stuff yesterday. Everyone was looking for an angle on the Mother's Day story. Was she trying for a girl, do you think? Well, she doesn't say it as much. She said, oh yeah, I'd love some daughters, but I'll just keep going until my body tells me I'm done. She's not

stopping. No, she's got another one on the way. Her choice. I would have given up after a couple. Everyone's different. So, yeah, she just keeps having them. That's almost, that would be like nine years. You'd forget their names.

My mum gets confused. She's like, Philip Vaughan. Ian. My mum does that too. Va'd forget their names. My mum gets confused. She's like, Philip Vaughan. Oh, Ian. My mum does that too. Vaughan, yes. Runs through every man's name apart from mine. But she would have spent like nine years of her life pregnant. Yeah. I never even thought about that.

Yeah, at least. While stealing with kids. While stealing with other. Like eight kids, nine kids. Yeah, oldest is 22 and there's another on the way. Wow. That's crazy. How would you get attention?

Just yell. Well, no, that's what I think. Like your middle child, how would you get attention? I was the middle child of three. Imagine being the middle child of nine, right in the middle. You'd have to be the middlest of middle. You'd have to be so loud. Very loud.

To get any attention. And she says, oh, I'd never say we can't afford to. It's only food and love. Food's expensive, especially teenage boys. Like, we used to own... Not to mention she'd need one of those Japanese

minibus, imported Japanese minibuses. Oh, I hadn't even thought about the logistics of transport. To get everyone around. Because you must have thought, well, what if we have a third? And then you've got to get a whole new car or minivan. Yeah, you've got to get a little more people mover-ish. Or like a really wide, an ordinary car, but with a really wide back seat. Right, so you can fit three.

Yeah, because my sister's got three now, and she's got three car seats across the back. And it's a big vehicle. Oh, what a mission. That just sounds too hard, Basket. I'm just thinking, like my brother almost would eat a loaf of bread a day. You think, like nine boys, a loaf of bread a day.

Yeah. That's a trolley full of bread a week. Oh, yeah. I don't know why I'm just equating it to bread, but good lord. The food bill must be astronomical. She said each day they get through five loaves of bread and six litres of milk.

Their grocery bill's about a thousand bucks a week. Wow. A thousand week. Wow. $1,000. Jeez. It would be great, though, because my mum used to be able to come home and work out who had been in the biscuits. She'd be able to look at you. Was your aunt always bored? It was often bored.

But she used to do it like it would get to dinner time and whoever couldn't eat their dinner and had biscuits. But then I just learned to eat more. So I'd eat the biscuits and then eat a full dinner and I'd be like,

well, detective, who's... Create the biscuits now. You need to see mum Christine just like... Damn it. He's outsmarted me. But you'd be able

to blame anything on your... Oh, yeah. I know back in the day, like my grandad He had brothers and sisters everywhere And it was the same as my nan She had six or seven But it's just not as commonplace these days

Nah it's not I'd love to know if anybody can beat that Listening As part of a Ten A modern day family Of ten kids I doubt we're going to beat 10.

It's a lot, isn't it? It's a lot. Do you be struggling to even get like five or six these days? I mean, if she's up for it, I know I'm not. I was going to say my bits and pieces are up. I thought you were going to say if she's up for it, I think the husband would be up for it, and that's why they've got so many kids.

What's the husband do? Do we know? Works in construction. Okay. Just all the time. He's scared to go home in case she gets pregnant again. Don't look at me.

He's like, I'm working overtime. Bro, are you going to be home for dinner? No. You let me know when you're asleep

and I'll come home then. I don't think we're going to be 10. You never know. I think we will. So there's nine of them. There's one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine boys and another on the way.

Wow. Wow. Okay. So that's a family of nine, 12. 11 at the moment, nearly 12. Yeah. Including mum and dad. Where do you put them all

bunks multi bunks there'd be a lot of bunks or just the kids have to stay at the YHA the local backpackers right that's how

you break back you can come in for dinner but then you gotta go back to the backpackers you can have a whole mixed dorm of 12 you'd buy a backpackers you'd buy a backpackers

and one of the kids would just be their kids room yeah I don't know alright well I mean if you want to see if we can beat this do you know of a family You'd buy a backpackers. You'd buy a backpackers and one of the kids would just be in the kids room. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know. All right.

Well, I mean, if you want to see if we can beat this, do you know of a family bigger than 10 in New Zealand? Your giant modern family. Your giant modern family. Give us a call.

0800-DARLES-AT-M-9696. Also, love to know, just while we're on this topic, how you get attention. Yeah. If you're the middle child of say like six or seven or how you get attention. Yeah. If you're the middle child of, say, like, six or seven or eight or nineteen brothers or sisters. Yeah, if you're like the fifth and the oldest brother

has got sports down, you'd be like, I'm going to have to be academic. Then the second one gets good at being academic, you're like, damn it, okay. Murder. Yeah. I mean, you took it to the extreme, Meg, I'm sure. He's got a sport, he's got a, you know, what are you, he's a great singer, he's a great actor, what are you good at? I murder people. He's got a sport. He's got a, you know, he's a great singer. He's a great actor.

What are you good at? I murder people. Yet to be caught. We're talking about big families, the big modern families, not the old school where one of them is going to get eaten

by a wolf so you have to have 13 kids anyway. But we're talking about when you have a massive family in the modern day. And we thought

we wouldn't beat 10 because that's the story that we read about in the paper. We've easily beaten 10. Really? Yeah. Multiple times. Somebody messaged in, they say they work in a doctor's practice and there's at least three families in their

area with over 10 kids. One of them's got 13, one of them's got 12, one of them's got 15. Why don't you just get sick of it? Kids. Like, I know,

I know the joy. We all need a quiet time. It's like when you go to the toilet, when you don't even really go to the toilet, you shut the door and sit down

just to have a little bit of quiet time. I mean, I don't have kids, you do, but I see the joy that you get from a couple, but why 10? But I guess it gets

to the point where the older ones look after the younger ones. That's what it says in the story. Yeah, the older ones can step up and start looking after the... Oh, so you're just having future babysitters. Right, I see. So, yeah, they're kind of a self-sufficient little machine.

That's crazy, isn't it? Andrew, you come from a family of how many kids? My sister-in-law, she has 11 children. 11? Yes. So do you have to spend a lot at Christmas then? Yeah, well, we do a budget these days and we just send a big bunch of money down for all of them

and once they hit 16, they join the adults Christmas draw to try and save on it. Fair enough. You'd just have to. You'd have to because otherwise you'd be spending so much money on it, leaving kids. And that's not fair, because how many kids have you got?

Three. See, they should be spending three times as much on your kids as you do individually on their kids, because that's just the law of averages. Yeah. It's an amazing family, though, because they've also got one of the children has Down syndrome,

so it even creates greater challenge. And my sister-in-law, she homeschooled all of them. Wow. That's insane. Does she have any time for herself? No. I wouldn't imagine so. People not like playing

video games and watching Netflix and stuff. They like having downtime. Andrew, thanks for your call. Steph, you're one of eight? Yeah, I'm one of the middle ones. So how do you get attention? I don't know. Mum's just always had time for all of us and Dad. Aww.

Like, we've always done whatever we wanted to do sport-wise and stuff. Like, no one ever missed out on anything. And what about, like, do you have two cars or a van? Yeah, if we went on holiday, it was a van, a big cage trailer, and then an extra vehicle. You needed the Super Shuttle trailer. Yeah. The suitcases.

That's brilliant. Wow. Wow. I'm surprised you even went away on holiday with eight of you. Yeah. We also had foster kids as well. Wow. To be commended.

If you had eight kids and you're taking on foster kids, that's amazing. Do your parents ever get any time to themselves? Do they have their own sort of interests and stuff? Well, they've recently got rid of most of the kids. Right. Now they're taking on my dad's parents. Oh, wow. They're going the other way.

They're caring. They're very caring. Steph, thanks for your call. Somebody says, I knew a family in the Waikato who had 14 kids. So all up, a family of 16. After being in town one day, they went home with two big cakes and cut them into 16 pieces. And then there was one piece of cake left,

and they were like, we've left a kid in town. And that was the only way they knew they'd left someone behind was that there was a piece of cake left over. Even just to have to buy two birthday cakes. Two cakes. Oh my God. That would be,

if you're losing a kid and you're like, all right kids, have a piece of cake and if one of them is missing, we've lost the kid. Because don't they say it's $250,000 to raise a single kid?

From start to end. But then if you've got so many, it's like... Economy's a scale. It's absolutely not. Good Lord, that's a lot of money. And someone's got 10 kids. Yeah. But then economy's a scale.

I don't even know how much that is. Is this just dawning on you? Yeah. Are you maybe thinking about you and Mr. Toyboy waiting now to have kids? Or just not. What about... Waiting to win. You saved $250,000.

What about the hand-me-downs in this? Look, I remember just hand-me-downs through one person. You were just like, I am better than this mother. I deserve new things. You'd never get a new thing if you were in a family of 10. Top Dog would get some nice shiny shoes, but by the time they got to you, they'd

be worn down. Matt, there's just so many text messages coming in, people saying, oh yeah, I know a family. The youngest is 4, the oldest is 28, and there's 13 of them. I can't even do the maths on that. That doesn't seem like enough years. That's insane. That's so...

Because you'd just graduate and they'd be retiring. Yeah. Yeah, like actual. For sure. You wouldn't even know them really, would you? What, the youngest kids? The youngest, you wouldn't, your oldest,

if your oldest was 28 and you were four. Well, it's a huge generation gap between 28 and a four-year-old. It would be more like an uncle. Yeah, that's a huge generation gap between a 28-year-old and a 4-year-old. It would be more like an uncle. Yeah, that's weird. And you would, chances are, have uncles that were younger than you. Or the same age, yeah. Same age. Yeah.

Oh, that's a lot to think about. Somebody said, I just married a man and in his family, they're 14 siblings. So, you know, the wedding, he didn't get many friends. He didn't get many friends. Because it'll be family at the wedding. Yeah. The list of most popular baby names for 2017 for girls and boys have been released. Number one on the girls list is the same.

Where did they base this information on? This is data out of the United States? Yes. Right. So official names that have been lodged with their version of births, deaths and marriages.

It kind of, I guess it sounds, it kind of sounds worldwide. Right. So do you want the boys' names or girls' names first?

Let's go girls' names because number one has stayed the same. Olivia. No. Olivia is number two. Yeah, let's go girls' names because number one has stayed the same. Olivia. No. Olivia is number two. Yeah, Olivia's been up there for the last few years. Okay, well, give us the top ten then.

Abigail. Actually, that's my niece's name. Spelt the same way. Is that ten or one? Ten. Ten, okay. Nine is Evelyn. Eight.

Evelyn? Evelyn's not Eve. Evelyn. Evelyn, yep. Eight is Amelia. I just trouble counting down. Seven is Charlotte. Good Lord.

Six, Mia. Five, Sophia. Isabella is number four, and then the top three girls' names for 2017. Three is Ava. Two, Olivia. And number one is Emma. Emma. Emma has been... Ava, two Olivia, and number one is Emma. Emma.

Ava was going to be my guess for number one. That's a cute name. I know a few Avas. Yeah. Emma. Yeah. What popped Emma back up there? Emma Stone,

Emma Watson. They're saying pop culture is a massive influence. So maybe we'll have a Cardi next year. Oh my God, please somebody call their kid Cardi. Or just like... But then let's remember that she named herself after Bacardi. Yeah.

Actual fact. And then changed it because she thought she was going to get sued by Bacardi. No, they sent her a cease and desist. So she's Cardi B. Boys names. Top 10 for 2017. 10 was Jacob. That's been in there for years, right?

Yeah. 9, Oliver. 10 was Jacob. That's been in there for years, right? Yeah. 9, Oliver. 8, Elijah. 7. Elijah is 8. Elijah Wood? Yeah, that's the only Elijah, right? Oh, yeah, but what's he done?

He hasn't done anything for ages. No, he did, oh, I know, he did Dirk Gently, Holistic Detective Agency. That's a niche reference. That is a weird show. It's a weird show, but I really liked it. I don't know why. I think it's just because I haven't ever seen show I've watched it first It's a weird show But I really liked it I don't know why I think it's just because

I haven't ever seen A TV show like it It was a real Right Real out there show I don't know if I'm going to Go back to continue watching You aren't going to keep watching

It was very weird It was by the guy that wrote The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy Yeah Douglas Adams But it's real Kind of stoner weird Yeah

Yeah Seven is Mason Maybe Kourtney Kardashian's son I don't know. Six, Benjamin. Five, Logan. Four, James. And the top three boys' names for 2017.

Liam. Can you just shush, please? You're ruining it. Three is William. Number two is Noah. Number one is Liam. Liam, Mason. Liam's from William. Hemsworth. Liam. Liam is... Oh, William. Number two is Noah. Number one is Liam. Liam Mason. Liam's from William.

Hemsworth. Liam. Liam is... Oh, William. Yeah. Liam is a... I felt like the girls' names were quite out there and new whereas the guys' names are still very traditional. Very traditional and biblical kind of thing. Yeah. As usual. But it's America. Yeah, true.

Biblical. Let me get their biblical influence Yeah. Kind of thing. Yeah. As usual. But it's America. Yeah, true. Biblical. Biblical. Biblical. Let me get their biblical influence on face. When is Jacinda's baby due? June? Yeah, June. I'm hoping it's on your birthday.

I'm going to be pissed if it's on the 23rd. I'll be like, how dare you steal my thunder? My day. No, you never do anything anyway. Everyone will be talking about the first baby. You're like, oh, it's just another day. It's just another day. Oh, well, you probably anyway. Everyone will be talking about the first baby. You're like, oh, it's just another day. It's just another day. Oh, well, you probably won't mind that Jacinda had her baby today. Like how she did.

Not on my birthday. How dare she. Fletch Vaughan and Megan's Food Fights. The Kiwi Treat Edition. We're getting to the business end of things for the Food Fight Kiwi Edition. Kiwi Treat Edition. Friday's results are in my hand written on a purple post-it note. That's my least favourite colour of post-it notes.

Is it because you wrote on it and nothing really stands out? Yeah, I like the fluoro ones. Yeah, if you get a lighter post-it note. Orange, yellow. It's good to look. It's hard to find a pen that really pops. Yeah, you're right. Maybe like a silver felt pen.

Scott making purple. You never got a silver felt pen around when you need it. It's true. So, thanks. A little insight into my life. Yeah, I like that. People might enjoy that. Good chat.

Good chat. That I don't like purple post-it notes. The results from Friday. Jelly Tip took on Crunchy. And it's ta-ta to Crunchy. As Jelly Tip took 53% of the vote, Crunchy 47%. Do you think that's because it's hard to face and stare down a tub of Jelly Tip and think, no, I'd rather have a Crunchy?

Yeah. Because you're getting more. You're getting a big two litres of ice cream, aren't you? Yeah, but I like to think you would consider Crunchy in the same volume. Yeah, you're having a big two litres of ice cream, aren't you? Yeah, but I like to think you would consider crunchy in the same volume. Yeah, you're having a scoop of jelly too. Two litres of crunchy is a lot to even comprehend. Yeah. If you had the crunchy bar filling up an ice cream container.

I was disappointed at that loss, but R.I.P. crunchy. Next up, pineapple lumps took on shapes. And pineapple lumps pulled through. 61% to pineapple lumps, 39% to shapes. Lumps took on Shapes and Pineapple Lumps pulled through. 61% to Pineapple Lumps, 39% to Shapes. It was always going to be hard for Shapes. It was going to be hard for Shapes. They played hard early, but they

maybe ran out of the flavouring. It's like someone licked the flavouring off and put them back in the pack. At the moment, we've got two ones. These are the Cotar... Someone spelt Cotar wrong on the Instagram. They've. At the moment, we've got two ones. These are the quarter. Oh, someone spelled quarter wrong on the Instagram.

Oh, no. Cotter. Who did that? Cotter. Cotter finals. Anya, you had a big weekend in Wellington,

didn't you? You had a Young Millennials party. Yeah, but I didn't do quarter. Cotter. It wasn't me. It wasn't you. We can't take it down.

We've already had votes. I just want everyone to know that we are aware of the mistake and we didn't make it. Tell you what, guys. Embrace the difference. I don't know if that's a thing. It's spelling mistakes. It is different. Okay, we'll let it slide.

We know it's happening. Pineapple Lumps taking on Lollicake. Now, Pineapple Lumps can be used in lolly cake in a push. No. I've used pineapple lumps in lolly cake. Don't be silly. But pineapple lumps winning at the moment

are 56%. Oh damn it. Get it gone. Get it gone. After about 4,000 votes. So that's probably a clear indication. Lollicake isn't going to win this. It already came too far, Lollicake, in my opinion. It did well.

It did well to get this far. Yeah, should have been gone. Yeah, you're right, Megan. And the next battle is the Battle of the Chips. It's chips and kiwi dip versus hot chips. A pun on hot chips. Hot chips are going to win this. Now, Hot Chips have been unstoppable.

Yeah. Some people are already predicting Hot Chips, you know, winning the final. I reckon they'll be in the final with pineapple lumps. But this is... Unless they go up against each other. There's nothing more Kiwi than Chip and Dip, though. Add a barbie.

Yeah, but there's nothing better than Hot Chips at any time of the day. It's true. Breakfast, lunch, dinner, 2 a.m. Well, after 4,000 votes, hot chips, well ahead. Hot chips, 63% of the vote versus 37 for chips and dip. Wow. I ain't mad at that.

Yeah, it's hard to be mad at hot chips. I can't say mad at you. But at the same time, you are delicious. One thing I have noticed over the course of this is, man, we love potatoes. Yeah. Like everything that's had potatoes in it won its first few rounds, and the only thing that defeated it was other potatoes. So true.

We've literally made, we've fought potatoes with potatoes. Yeah. And the result has been delicious, because no matter what happens, if it's a seasoned potato, we're a fan. Yeah. And the result has been delicious because no matter what happens, if it's a seasoned potato, we're a fan. Yeah. So Hot Chips meeting Kiwi Chip and Dip at this stage. You can vote at our Instagram page, FVMZM. Yeah, another round coming up as well after 8 o'clock.

And then by the end of the week, we'll have a winner. And we're going to have to do something to celebrate. Yes, we will. But we obviously don't know how yet because we don't know what. Can I say eat lots of it? Yeah. After 8 this morning, I believe an exciting twist to Food Fight Kiwi Treat Edition. I will.

Okay. Yeah. To cover a mistake. Now, it's not a spelling mistake, but it is. It's a slight, it's an oversight. But we're trying to make the mistake initially look like a neat idea we had. Yeah, because we're not good at maths. Well, I call the best mistakes. Yeah. You're trying to make it look like a great idea we had. Yeah, because we're not good at maths. Well, I call the best mistakes.

Yeah. You try to make it look like a great last minute idea. Yesterday was Mother's Day. I decided to treat my wife, who's the mother of my children, because that's the thing, they're still a bit young to pull. Mind you, it was super cute. Came downstairs and they'd found some old chocolates that we may or may not have eaten on Saturday night

while watching TV. Right. I kind of left them on the bench, which is a big mistake. Yeah. Kids sniff out chocolate. They like laid them out on this piece of paper and wrote like,

to mum, happy Mother's Day. That was really, really cute. All by themselves. All on their own accord. That's nice. All on their own accord. But with old chocolates. Yeah.

Oh, okay. They said one of them was old because we opened it and it was a little bit white. But we laid them out nonetheless. So that was pretty cute. But one of the things I'd wanted to do for a few weeks, Shade had been hounding and I don't

use the H word lightly. Hounding is a fair. Yeah. To go to Krispy Kreme. She's a bit of a donut fiend. I've stated for the record before, I'm not a huge donut fan. Well, you were just having a whinge on Friday you don't like donuts. Yeah, they're a bit dry and stodgy for me.

Yeah, okay. I'm not a huge donut guy. But she'd been saying for a while she wanted to go and I thought, well, that is like an easy Mother's Day treat. So I kept it to myself. Oh, no, not into it. And you've got to drive. There's only one, it's in South Auckland. So there's a bit of a drive involved.

Every time I see people posting on Instagram or Snapchat, there are huge lines. It's massive and it's mental, always. So we arrived at about 11 o'clock on Sunday morning and the drive-thru was out to the road. Yeah. Is there a drive-thru for it? Yeah. So you don't even need to get out of your car to get donuts. But then how do you tell them which ones you want? Do you see it as like a drive-thru menu? It's like a sign. Oh, okay.

It's like a McDonald's. How drive-thrus work. No, but at least with McDonald's you can be like I want a quarter pounder or a casserole. Because you're familiar with it. Yeah, but then like with a donut you're like, I want the red one. Which red one? I don't know, the one with the hole in the middle. That's why there's a sign that says what it is. But they have names.

Donut. Yeah. Strawberry one. Oh, you know, because they have pictures of what ones they've got that day. To me, that just sounds hard. I like going in. Yeah, yeah. I hate drive-thrus.

You can't go in. So we went in because we wanted the full experience. Yep. And we got our little Krispy Kreme hats on. Okay. They have hats. If you guys know Sade, you know she doesn't do that. Oh, you know. But she put the hat on. Oh, right. So she was very excited

to be there. Okay. She was jazzed. When you line up, you line up beside where they make them. Unfortunately, they weren't making them. I would have really loved to have seen that process. Okay. But anyway, we got some donuts. It was like a club where they were serving donuts. The music was very loud.

Very loud. It was like being in Sault Prey, except instead of clothes with scandalous sayings on the front, it was donuts. Right, okay. So we got, and this was how easy it was to talk us into upsizing to a dozen donuts.

I was like, we're off to two packs of four. All she said would be, literally all she said was, four more donuts is only going to cost you a dollar. And I was like, yep. Oh, my God. I know. I saw that you had 12. I was like, was that necessary?

Yeah, yeah. So we got the full does. Wow. And August just licked the icing off her ones. I said, if you get that one, you have the pink one. What one do you want, August? Pink one. If you get that one, you have to eat it, not just lick the icing off.

Yep, promise. I'm done. Was it a stuffed one or was it a... No, it was just a plain donut with the pink icing on it. But oh my godfathers. Too much. Might have diabetes. I feel like it was so, it just

blew my mind, a place only selling sugary sweets. Because there was no like, oh, there was a bagel option. No one was getting bagels though. We were there for a long time. I didn't see a single person order a bagel. Blew my mind how busy it was. It can't stay

that busy forever, surely. Well, there's only one though. If they keep it at only one, it's going to always be a novelty. It was frantic. But you see, when you're at Auckland Airport, how many people are taking Dunkin' Donuts home. Oh, I know. Maybe it's because I don't like... It's crazy.

Sure, I might have eaten five yesterday, but I don't... Day to day, I don't love donuts as much as other people love donuts. Right. You're just mind-blowing. Yeah. Okay. But I tell you what, great. I got good points there. Good. You're just mind-blowing. Yeah. Okay. But I tell you what, great. I got good points there.

Good points for Mother's Day. Oh, right. Okay. And you know she ate her full of donuts because I said, oh, do you want to go to Yum Cha for lunch? And she was like, no, I couldn't. So the way to your wife's heart is donuts. FEM.

31-year-old Arizona woman has been arrested after a date. She went on a date with a man. She actually met a guy on a website for millionaires that matches you up with millionaires. Oh, okay. So this is why she went overboard. Maybe this is why she went overboard. She's been arrested.

She's been in court. She sent 65,000 text messages. I thought you were just doing that thing where you're like, thousands, but actually 65,000 text messages. I thought you were just doing that thing where you're like, thousands, but actually 65,000. She allegedly sent her more than 65,000 text messages, many with bizarre threats. She was arrested on the 8th of May, charged with threatening stalking, harassment,

and also failure to appear in court. She justified her actions to CBS News just this week, saying, I felt like I'd met my soulmate and I thought that we'd just do what everybody else did and we'd get married and everything would be fine. Wow. She crazy. She's seen like 500 a day.

That would take up like your whole day, right? Yeah, one of her messages said what she'd do with his blood and she'd bathe in it. Oh, that's what I said to my wife when we became soulmates as well. I was like, I feel this is going well. We've reached the point of our relationship where I'd like to drain you of blood and then bathe in it. So this is after one date.

65,000 messages. Yeah, and obviously the 65 didn't come over one day. They came over a period of time after she met this man. But one date. And so this is what I wanted to ask this morning. Have you been on one date? And how crazy did someone go after just one date? Because most people would pick up the message,

if you don't text back, you're not into them. You're not interested. You weren't feeling it. So you just walk away. Not this lady. She wasn't getting the social cues at all. I feel like we should go to producer Caitlin at this point. Yeah.

Me being the crazy person? No, no. I mean, you're dating. You're saving. You're back on, is it, Bumble? How's that going, by the way? I hate you're dating. You're saving. You're back on, is it Bumble? How's that going, by the way? Yeah, we haven't had that in this week. I hate talking to people.

It is imperative in meeting someone, though. I know, but I need Megan to go back on and do it for me. The trouble is, I do it, and then... You come in way too hot. Yeah, but I get the date. I think you're going to say something else starting with D. Oh, no, no. That was close.

And then Caitlin Bales she's like I don't want to actually meet up with him I just can't be bothered you'd rather stay at home and watch Pitch Perfect what are they up to again? three

three again and Bridget Jones um no but have you ever had anyone after just one date go crazy? well I think it was actually my fault

but remember when I went on that date with um Gary from Crime Squad? Yes. One of my favourite of your dates. This is a guy for maybe people that are new listening to the show. This was a while ago this happened. You went on a date and he said he was a secret undercover policeman.

Gary from Crime Squad. He was in an elite group known as Crime Squad. You came on the show and told everybody about Gary from Crime Squad. He was in an elite group, not as Crime Squad. You came on the show and told everybody about Gary from Crime Squad. And we, at the time, we were like, you don't tell people you're in a secret Gary from Crime Squad group. No. You don't say you're in a secret elite Crime Squad. You don't say you're an undercover policeman.

Yeah. But I didn't know that at the time. I was like, this is so cool. Like, he's undercover. And then he got fired, didn't he? And then why he got fired, didn't he? He said he got let go, didn't he? Yeah. He flew into the DMs and was like,

someone said that you were talking about me on the radio and now I'm in trouble and all this stuff. And then I remember I saw him again on Bumble. Like, he popped up later. But he was a professional. He changed his name. Barry from Quam to Quam. No, he'd, like later but he was a he was a professional he changed his name Barry from Quam to Quam

no he'd like changed his thing about like where he worked and stuff it was yeah but he got really angry I had to get Megan to reply to those messages

and she was real sassy she was like um well don't lie to me in the first place or something like that I always step into but that's not too bad because that's kind of ended

that kind of wow yeah yeah haven't seen him again you didn't get 65,000 messages no thank god I always step into his hands. But that's not too bad because that's kind of ended. Wow, yeah. Yeah, haven't seen him again. You didn't get 65,000 messages. No, thank God. The obsessive people, the people that maybe misread the situation and think it's going to be a lot more than it is. Yeah.

So, this is what we want to ask now. 0800 dials at M9696. Who went crazy after just one date? Like, what did you have to deal with? You can't help it if you've got it going on, if they like what they see. I mean, it might be a compliment initially. Yes.

But, I mean, you know, if you have to get a restraining order. Yeah, it's a little bit annoying. Or if someone has to get arrested, that's a bit full on. But maybe somebody turned up at your workplace with, like, a singing, what are they? A telegram. Roses, chocolates, after just one date and you're like, oh, you've they? Telegram. Roses, chocolates. After just one date and you're like,

oh, you've read this completely wrong. Give us a call. 0800-DARLS-AT-M-9696. One, a woman in America has been arrested after sending 65,000 text messages after just one date. Charged with all kinds of stalking, harassment. Went a bit crazy after one date. We want to know, after one date, what happened? How crazy did someone go?

Do you want some text messages? Sure. After one date, this guy got into my house somehow and left a short novel he'd written about me under my pillow. My flatmates say they still have absolutely no idea how he got in. There was no signs of forced entrance and no one came in when they were home. He didn't like steal their keys or anything.

And just have it pretty nipped out. Oh, maybe she went to the toilet and he grabbed the key and pushed it into Blu-Tack like they do on spy movies. And then went to Mr. Minute and said, fashion a key from this. And they're like, we're Mr. Minute. Get the hell out.

You bring us a key if you want a key cut and even then it's only going to go into your lock if you really push it hard. We're Mr. Minute. No, get the hell out. You bring us a key if you want a key cut, and even then it's only going to go into your lock if you really push it hard. We're Mr. Minute. What, do you need your soul put back on your shoe? You got a deal, bucko. We're Mr. Minute. You want your name engraved on a sports trophy?

I hope you like a little bit sloppy. We're Mr. Minute. Go and get some Maccas while you wait. We're Mr. Minute. I'll and get some Maccas while you wait. Mr. Manor. I'll keep going if no one stops me. No, carry on with the messages. Okay, some other text messages. Somebody said, I have had

many a crazy person after one date, and then in brackets they put, sometimes I take it as a compliment. Yeah. But arriving home to two dozen red roses to a guy that I actually stood up for a date. That's, yeah.

Because I got a creepy vibe off him so I was like oh actually I'm not going to be able to make it and then two dozen red roses kind of confirmed my suspicions. What would you do in that situation? You'd have to say I'm not interested otherwise it won't stop. Yeah, you'd have to spell it out. You'd have to really spell it. But then sometimes you spell it out and they

might not. That's when it gets a bit creepy, eh? Yeah. Holly, what happened after one date? I had flowers delivered to work. Red roses. And I had a note attached to it and it was all about how he thought

we'd be together forever and he loved me and he couldn't wait for me to fly over to Canada to meet his parents and all this stuff. What's ironic though is that my now fiance is who actually I used to work with him. And so when the delivery person came, the flowers went to him to drop off to me. Wow, okay. Maybe he got a bit jealous. Yeah, that's what Kickstarter is like. I've got to move.

Hey, thanks for your call. Victoria, what happened after just one date? Okay. So I was traveling, and I went on a date with a local guy, just one date. And the following day, he made a custom engraved necklace with our names and date we met on it. Mr. Minute.

He went to Mr. Minute. He went to Mr. Minute. What was it, like a love heart or a dog bone? Because if it was a dog bone, it was probably a dog collar from Mr. Minute. No, it was definitely none of that. Whereabouts were you travelling? I was travelling through the Middle East, actually.

Okay. Well, you could have married a rich sheik. Sheik? Sheik? Sheik. Sheik. No, a sheik's a sheik sheik, isn't it? No, but it isn't a sheik.

No, it is a sheik. It's spelled sheik, but you say sheik. It's not sheik like as in boho sheik. We learned this in Dubai. It's a sheik. Was he a rich sheik? No, boho chic. We learned this in Dubai. It's a shake. Is he a rich shake? No, he wasn't. He was my Uber driver.

So when you went on a date with him, did he pick you up and you sat in the back seat on the way to the date? Or did you sit up front? Like, what was that? No, he asked me to sit in the front for safety reasons. Okay, Meg, why are you finding this so funny? Just because you could give him a rating as well. What did you rate him? Okay, Meg, why are you finding this so funny? Just because you could give him a rating as well. What did you rate him? Four, five, or two?

Because he gave you a necklace. I gave him five stars. Wait, did we go on a date, or was the ride the date? No, we went on a date after the ride. He was very nice. He sort of had beautiful eyes. But engraved necklace, step too far.

Step too far. Victoria, thank you. Kelly, what happened after just one date? Proposed to me. One date? One date. We went out for dinner and everything was fine. I kissed him once at the end of the date.

Okay. Um, and then, you know, like, when we went for dinner, it was about maybe 10km away from home, and he texted me halfway home, so, I don't know, 10 minutes after the date finished and said, Oh, you haven't texted me yet. Are you not feeling this? So I went, no, it's fine.

I'm not even home. I generally like to get home. I don't like texting while driving, so yeah. Okay. And then the next day I got a message saying, so when are we getting married? Oh God, okay. That could be a joke.

Nah, it wasn't. I went, what? And he goes, no, I'm serious. When are we getting married? I could be so good for okay. I mean, that could be a joke. That could be a joke. Nah, nah, it wasn't. I went, what? And he goes, no, I'm serious. When are we getting married? I could be so good for you. I would treat you like my queen. I would do this for you. I would be the best man ever for you.

And I'm sitting there going, what? No, thank you. Wow. Considering, like, this was the first date that I'd been on after my ex-husband and I had split up, it was... Yeah, not the time. He's rushed into that, hasn't he? Oh, that's like...

Yeah. That's way past rushed. Wow. Kelly, thanks for your call. Thank you. Some other text messages in about... Is it mostly guys who are the crazy, stalky ones? Yeah, it can be.

Okay. You won't see this hashtag used again. Beer flavoured nipples is the hashtag. What? I'm just going to read the machine. Was that from a girl? Okay. Like marry me cause?

Yeah, no, he said multiple things happened. He said he loved me after one date. He said I'd be the best step-parent for your son and probably we'd never get another step-parent as good as me. He gave me an espresso machine. After the first date? He also said I had bear-flavoured nipples. Now, that's not a compliment. If you seriously did have nipples that tasted like beer

You should see a doctor Because beer is It's a yeasty fermentation isn't it That's not a good thing No Especially if it's like a dark stout You don't want your nipples tasting like Guinness Your nipples taste like St. Patrick's Day Somebody said

This isn't after the first date But this is the second date He gave me his Dead mother's engagement ring That he would be wearing On a necklace Waiting to find The right woman

I used to work At an airport I had a one night stand With somebody Who also worked In the aviation area. This is a problem with those bloody security lines. They're flirting with each other.

Well, that might be the problem. Next day, there was a three-page letter in my mailbox of him professing his love. Two weeks of him calling and crying. I had to inform his work as I believed it would be a dangerous situation for someone in this state. And he got placed on mental health leave. Oh, that's sad. Yeah, that is really sad. Somebody said, I dated a guy.

I went on one date, got into his car for him to drive me home, and he'd pre-purchased a huge fluffy buddy and a lot of Easter eggs. Somebody else went on one. Can you still take the eggs? And say, I'm not into you, but I'll have these. And I'm going to take this rabbit for its own safety. But I'm not into you but I'll have these. And I'm going to take this rabbit for its own safety. I'm not interested. Somebody else said my now partner went on

one date with a guy four years ago and he still sends her underwear regularly. Which is great though because that'll save you having to buy her undies. Yeah. Sure. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day.

Today's fact of the day is about the Canadian goose. Do you know what a Canadian goose is? It's one of those big ass ducks. It's not the white one, it's the other one. It looks like a duck. Yeah, it looks like a duck. It's got a black neck and a black head, a bit of white there, a bit of white at the bottom of the neck, and then like brownish grey.

You'd see one and you'd be like, oh, that's what he's talking about. That thing. Why is it Canadian? Well, it's from Canada. Okay. It's been introduced to New Zealand and I quite liked it here. A lot like Canadians who come here and they're like, it's like home, but a bit smaller and not right next door to America. And that's about all.

So today's fact of the day is about the Canadian goose. It weighs five and a half kgs. Okay. It eats two kgs of grass a day. Of grass? Yeah. And it can eat grass. And it poops 1.5 kgs of that grass when it's on a grass diet.

Okay. Now, I've worked out the equivalent to the average New Zealand male. Yep. Okay. Because I think that's a phenomenal amount. That would be the equivalent of an 85 kg male. Yep. Eating 30 kgs of food a day.

Yep. And doing 23 kgs of food. Is that the fact of the day? Yeah. Wow. Because you think about it, you're like, oh yeah, the bird. It eats a lot and it poops a lot. But when you take into comparison its size,

you imagine as an 85 kg male sitting down and eating 30 kgs of anything in one day. It would be impossible. What could you get closest to him? Ice cream. No, you get closest to them? Ice cream. No, you'd have to eat something heavy. That doesn't take up. Like meat patties.

It'd have to be meat. I think you'd probably come close. But meat wouldn't go through you too quick. Or bread and then water, but then you'd fill up too fast. Yeah. It's hard. It's a hard one.

Maybe grass. Maybe, sure. Maybe you like lettuce or whatever. I'd imagine 30 kgs of grass, though. It'd be a lot, but at least it'd get through you quick. Because you eat a salad and you're hungry almost straight away. Yeah. So that's an indicator that if you lined up 30 kgs of lettuce.

So there you go. You sit down. You have 30 kgs of lettuce in front of you. Yeah. And throughout the day, you eat it. And then you do 23 kgs of poops. Lettuce poops. Comprehend it. Comprehend it.

It's insanity. A lot of that's water though. A lot of that would be water. A lot of water and grass and also lettuce. So it'd really go through you. I mean how much does the average iceberg lettuce weigh? A couple of hundred grams?

I don't know. Maybe three, maybe 400 if it was at one of those tightly packed, pristine, primetime summer icebergs. You just couldn't eat any amount of food, Vaughan, to make this work. I know. And that's what's phenomenal that goose does. Little goose. Little goosey.

Yeah. It's just under half of its body weight every day and then poops out like just under half. Man, you'd go through some toilet paper. Because I'm imagining it's not all at once. It'll be multiple throughout the day. Of course it's not all at once. That would be horrific. You'd have to do a mid-flush.

I don't think you could even do it in a standard toilet, to be totally honest. Right, okay. you could even do it in a standard toilet, to be totally honest. Right. Okay. But then if you even dug a long drop, you'd need to be digging one of those every week. So just next time you see a Canadian goose, have a little bit of, you know, respect for it.

Respect for how much it eats. Man, it's pooping heaps too. Okay. So today's fact of the day is if an average New Zealand male ate like a Canadian goose, it would eat 30kgs of food a day and it would do 23kgs of piss. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do. Fletch Vaughan and Meekins Food Fights. The Cuny Truth Edition.

All right, all right, all right. Goodbye, it was. On Friday, it was goodbye to Crunchy and it was goodbye to Shapes, Jelly Tap and Pineapple Lumps advancing to the next round. Who will they face? Time will tell. I've been surprised by today's voting so far.

Yeah, today's voting. Lolly Cake is currently losing to Pineapple Lumps, 57% to 43%. Pineapple Lumps developing a healthy lead. They're Hot Chips smashing the chip and dip. I think Hot Chips will be in the final. I think Hot Chips has been absolutely unstable. It hasn't even been close, eh?

Hot Chips hasn't even been close. So after a total of 7,000 votes, it's 65% to the Hot Chips. Now, this one we've just announced, and also we'll explain what's happened here. I'm blaming Caitlin for this. This round, we all got, we had many meetings about this, and we all thought we had a... We even used the whiteboard and a flow chart, didn't we? Remember that we had a flow chart?

We did, we had a flow chart. But we found out we were an entire match short. At some stage of the game, which would have involved us having one more match of the stage, two more matches in the first round. You can see why we're confused. Maths is an astral

point. Caitlin, producer Caitlin, actually it was producer James in charge of the Excel. No, excuse me, it was you and I, Fletch, that was writing, we were writing on the whiteboard and we did the numbers and we did the two and four and eight and ten and it was because we went from even numbers and then there

was always going to be an odd number. The problem we have is that we needed to find two wild cards, two new items. Otherwise, we wouldn't have enough rounds. Otherwise, yeah, stuff would be up against itself. Why didn't we just say we've got two wild cards? Then no one would have known we'd made a mistake. Because they would have wanted to know why we put a wild card in at this stage of the competition. Because we say it's our competition. Oh, yeah know why we put a wild card in at this stage of the competition. Because we say

it's our competition. Oh yeah. We've got a wild card. One and one tomorrow. We should have been really dramatic about it. Yeah. So late now as a mate.

But it was quite dramatic because in our hungover state on Friday the entire hungover office put our collective heads together and we came up with what we were missing

from the competition. Yes. And that is where Wildcard 1 comes into it. Taking on Jelly Tip in this round of Food Fight, the Kiwi Treats edition, is the Cookie Time cookie. An absolute staple. Kiwi institution. Yeah.

Pop it in the microwave for 20 seconds. You got yourself a lovely gooey little treat. Now, at this stage of early voting on our Instagram, FBMZM, it's bad news for Jelly Tip because it is currently losing to the Cookie Time. It could be a total upset. After 3,000 votes cast already,

Cookie Time Cookie has a 57 to 43% lead over Jelly Tip. It's done the leg work to get to this stage, and Cookie Time's just parachuted in. Do you know what would be yum? A scoop of jelly tip on top of a warm cookie time cookie.

Oh yeah, cut it out. But that's not how the competition works, Megan. No, they can't work together. It's one or the other. So you can vote now on our Instagram, FVMZM.

ZDM's. Fletch. Vaughan. And Megan. The podcast. For more, catch them every weekday from six.

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