ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Megan Podcast - May 13 2019

Episode Date: May 12, 2019

August storms out of a Harry Potter viewing, Don't Get Fletch Started when did you have to evacuate?See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

ZM. Head music. Lives here. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. Thanks, Anya. Good morning. Welcome to the show. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. Good morning. Someone slept in this morning, didn't they, Anya? Not this guy. Maybe this guy. How are we all? What happened? No alarm? Nah, just snoozed like two times too many.

Because I'm like a three. I always set like three alarms in the morning and then I just did an extra two snoozes. It just really ruined me. Snoozes annoy me so much. Just get up at the last possible moment. Just set one alarm and get your ass out of bed. Mr and Mrs Perfecto. Set one alarm and just get your ass out of bed.

No, because then you get all that perfect sleep. Then you get maximum sleep time. I agree. Maximum perfect sleep. Yeah. We should be running the world, Megan. Yes. We're just in a relationship.

Oh, that would be really weird. Imagine that. All right, out of bed. Crack, it's a race. Race to get out of bed. I know. I shut up shop as soon as I said it. I was like, no.

And I regret saying that straight away. You shut up shop. Yeah. Is that slang for what your bits did when you were in a relationship with Fletch? It was like, like that cave in Aladdin just disappears back into the sand dunes. Yeah. Or like that door on the back of the Interala. I mean, don't refer to it as a cave.

Meep, meep, meep, meep. Clink. And seal shut so the water doesn't get in. With a couple of main freighters on board. It's amazing how they do that. Today on the show, it's the final round of our Food Fight Chippies edition. We're on the hunt for New Zealand's favourite chip. And once we find out what

this chip is, our cash chip dip, we'll find out. I mean, that would be great. You should start practising once we find out what the winner is because dropping chips from a height, depending on what kind of chip it is, will be a wildly different game. We're going to be dropping those

from a scissor lift in Christchurch on Thursday. Thursday morning, yeah, your chance to win $1,000. He did pretty well there. He did pretty well. There was a question. He didn't really know,

but he nailed it. All right, you lot, listen up. It's story time. Three news headlines. Interesting, quirky, unusual news stories. I found these online. Vaughan and Megan, you've got to pick one of the following three headlines.

The others are deleted forever. We never find out about those stories. Headline one, rental car goes up in value. Headline two, worried neighbour. And headline three, lest we forget. Oh, yeah. Worried neighbourbour and Headline 3 Less We Forget. Worried Neighbour. Cute. Jinx.

We're locking that in? I think so. No more debate? No. Okay, we go now to the UK and Devon. We're a neighbour called the RSPCA.

We've got an SPCA. they've got an RSPCA. Royal. Oh, okay. Why isn't ours a royal one? Because we don't have a royal family. We're in the Commonwealth. I don't know. What does an SPCA stand for?

Protection and Care of Animals. Society? Yes, society. Society for the protection. Well, that'd just be the Royal Society, wouldn't it? Yeah, the Royal Society for the Protection of Animals. Well, anyway, the SPCA got a call that... Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals.

Oh, right. Not protection. Okay. So this is the Royal Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals. So they got a call about a neighbour, somebody's neighbour that had a tiger in the back of their yard in Devon in the UK. And they were worried that it wasn't being treated well

and that it was in a small cage. So they were like, well, look, can you come and... Fair call. A lot of people have these animals in Europe and the UK. Many rich people in the 70s and 80s got pet tigers. Yes, sadly.

Well, they turned up to the distressed tiger and soon realised it wasn't a tiger. Is it a soft toy? It's a Johnny Tiger soft toy. In what looks to be

a chicken coop. Yeah. They haven't last minute like got wind of it and switched it out, have they? Oh, actually, I never thought about that. Maybe. They're like, no, no, it's just a soft toy. Put the tiger in the garden shed and stuff. Put the toy in the...

You were close with chickens. The owners bought the stuffed tiger to keep their two rabbits, Horace and Boris, company in their hutch. Yes, of course. Tigers and rabbits famously get on quite well in the wild. They do, yeah. Do they still have rabbits? Yeah, they've still got rabbits.

Oh, really? You can see the rabbits in that picture with the stuffed toy. Oh, because it's not a real tiger. No, they're real. They're real, yeah. They're not stuffed. Not the first time the RSPCA has been called out to rescue fake animals. They've previously rescued a four-foot stuffed dog and a plastic horse that was tied to a trailer.

There's a photo of that as well. Someone had tied the horse to the trailer. Oh, that looks real though. It's one of those, yeah, go on. Like ratchet ties. Like you'd tie down an oversized load. It's like a display horse. If you have a thoroughbred.

Yeah, outside a saddle reed. Yeah, that's a great way to do that. Yeah, yeah. I was going to say, because if you have a thoroughbred that does well, you generally like have a statue of it. Right. Because, you know, horses are all like a different colour with different markings. Yeah.

I think you just buy the base horse. And then you add markings. And then you do the colouring. Right, okay. You colour in your horse. Nice. As you just like, oh yeah, he had a diamond shaped white thing on his otherwise brown head. Like no other horse ever, ever.

Yeah. Ever around, ever. A cinema has made what I would class as a massive mistake. It's opening in Switzerland, the cinema, so not yet in New Zealand. But they have an option like there's standard seating. There's that Dulux seating. There's that beanbag seating. There's gold class.

They're putting double beds in the cinema. Now, you buy these in like a little booth and you can go semi-upright on them. Like, you know, if you were to sit up in bed. Okay, yeah. And like push yourself against the headboard. You could go like that. Like those Nana beds you get for Nan and they go. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

And then you can recline that down much further to almost flat. Now, that's a bad idea because we haven't for a while, because we don't have a TV in our bedroom, but in the last place, when we had a TV in our room, you couldn't even start watching something because Shadow best sleep. She'd be like, let's watch that. And you'd start watching. Oh, what happened on that show last night? I'm like, I'm not even going to bother explaining 55 minutes of it to you.

But you can still fall asleep on the couch. Yeah, but these things are actual beds. And, you know, the other problem you haven't pointed out is that people are going to get up to trouble, aren't they? Are they blankets or is it just like a mattress? They've dismissed concerns over hygiene and inappropriate behaviour, telling a local news website 20 Minute. Yep.

That's mutant. I've translated that from Swedish. Yeah. Minuten. That means 20 minutes. I don't know. It seems like a shortcut and 60 minutes there. But the sheets will be changed between every film.

So it's going to have sheets. How much do you reckon it'll cost you? For spotting one of the beds? Like per ticket? How much is gold class? I've never paid. Is it $35? Yeah, I think it's like $35. For each ticket?

Yeah. So you'd imagine, do they take up the same as a gold class seat? A bit more. $50. Okay, so it'd seat? A bit more. $50. So it'd be $35.50. $73. Oh. For two. Free food and drink though. Oh, okay.

How much? Yeah, but then that's another reason they didn't need to change the sheets. If you're eating in bed and you wake up in the morning, you find little bits of cookie and chippies. I think it's a bit gross. Yeah, it's a bit crumb. Same place has a kids cinema where you go in via a slide and then you just watch the movie on beanbags.

That's cool. That's pretty cool. Except like rustling. You think it's bad people rustle chip packets. And there's nothing to stop the kids using the slide during the movie and there's also a ball pit. It's like I'm here to watch a movie, not to play silly buggers. Sit down.

But yeah, the cinema with the beds in it is just snoozy time. So it has like little cubicles, like little barriers. Like can people see into your bed?

Oh yeah, no, no, no. People can definitely see into your bed. Make no mistake, it's like a tiny little area that stops you. I was like,

you can't make it private and then give them sheets. No. Well, you might as well stay at home if that's what you want to do. Yeah., you can't make it private and then give them sheets. No. Well, you might as well stay at home if that's what you want to do. Yeah. And you can, this is another weird part is, you don't have to buy the beds in the double. There's always two beds right beside each other.

Oh, no. You don't want to be next to a stranger. You could end up in bed next to a stranger. Oh, that's weird. Fletch is saying like it's a horrendous thing. He probably did it three times at the weekend. Excuse me. Then I'm a stranger once you've said hello.

Right. Yeah, but there's a difference between choosing a stranger and going to the movies and having event cinemas choose them for you. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. Today, the second to last ever episode of Game of Thrones. Oh, my God. Of this. Suri wants in.

Shut up, Suri. Suri thought I said Ed Sheeran on Simply Trying to Megan Today, the second to last ever Game of Thrones. I'm Simply Trying to Megan Today. I didn't even say, hey, Suri. What is Megan-ing a day? I don't know. Go on. Doing what is, what is Megan-ing a day? Is that just,

I don't know, it didn't follow. Go on. Doing what you need to do to get to the end of it. Look, I'll reluctantly see this one and get through

to the next one. I know they've talked about Game of Thrones spin-offs and of course it will be because it's an absolute cash cow in the biggest ever TV show.

Yeah, but we're rushing it, aren't we? Yeah, it does. The more I read about this season and it's just been rushed. Oh, so many people are like, oh, they're ruining it.

At the end, they're just ruining it. They're rushing it. I don't like it. Too rushed. This should have been ten eps. Two whole seasons. What they've done so far. We don't want them to drag it out.

Yeah, there's no good – you can't drag out a good story. Right. If it's a good story, it won't feel like it's dragging. Well, the coffee cup doesn't die. The whole saga of the coffee cup. Now, this was only a week ago. It feels like it was a lifetime ago. That's right.

And for those that missed it, there was a coffee cup, a takeaway coffee cup on the table. A Starbucks, right? When they're all drinking out of goblets, and then there's a coffee cup. And again, people pointing out, well, you're happy to believe in dragons, but not a takeaway coffee cup. Apparently it wasn't even Starbucks.

No, it's just some local. It just looked like a Starbucks cup. Oh, really? The same colour? Because it was the colour that made me think it was a Starbucks. Brown with a white lid. A marketing CEO has come out and said that Starbucks would have picked up

from that, he reckons, $2.3 billion in free advertising. But it still didn't make me go buy a Starbucks. Did it make you go buy a Starbucks? No.

No. If it was hot, maybe. It made me aware of Starbucks. I've never heard of it before. Yeah. Although I feel we don't have as many Starbucks as we used to. No. And it's not as massive in New Zealand.

No. Because we've got so many great coffee places, don't we? Whereas overseas, you're like, okay. We're blessed with so many outlets. We are. We really are. So many outlets. But yeah, isn't that incredible?

And it wasn't even their cup. I thought they would come out with, did they do anything off the back of it? I don't feel like they capitalised enough off it. Well, they didn't need to, did they? Yeah, but it could have been funny. Could have taken it even further. They got $2.3 billion worth of advertising

for nothing making it, isn't it? I think they established, they pretty had a meeting and they're like, what are we going to do about this? And someone's like, just let it. Let it go. Just let it be. We'll see what happens.

From the ZM think tank, this is the top six. 16 years ago, New Zealand had the $4 million, $4 million, that'd be nice, 4 million person milestone. Our population in 2003 had 4 million. Wow, okay. Our first million was 1908. Our second million

was 1952. So that took a little bit of time. But we're clocking up the millions a little bit quicker now. Apparently there's a New Zealander born every 8 minutes and 43 seconds. And a death every 17 minutes and 19 seconds. So you think about that,

for everyone that gets knocked off, we're getting two. Yeah, right. So that means every 7 minutes and 25 seconds there's a new New Zealander. So when do they reckon 5 million will happen? 5 million is going to happen this year, before the end of the year.

Wow. So 1908, 1 million. 1952, 2 million. 1973, 3 million. 2003, 4 million. 2019, 5 million. Wow, okay. Yeah.

So it took 30 years to get from 3 to 4, but then it took 16 years to get from 4 to 5. Wow. So it's getting smaller every time. So what does that mean for New Zealand? Well, these are the top six things that hitting five million means for you as a New Zealander. Number six, you'll have to wait an extra phase at the traffic lights.

So you're like, we're going to get through, we're going to get to dark, just go on the orange, you son of a... I know when a person in front of you doesn't, like they could have gone. Like the minute it goes green, orange, you're like, just say you were dedicated and you had to go.

No, you've stopped. Great. And at the drive-through, it's going to mean an extra three cars. That's going to take a little bit longer. Yeah. Yeah. And just with, I'd say, obesity,

your stats the way they are to them, the orders are going to be getting slightly bigger, so they are going to take longer. Yeah. Yeah. And just with, I'd say, obesity, your stats the way they are to them, the orders are going to be getting slightly bigger, so they are going to take longer. Yeah. Number five on the list of the top six things hitting five million population means for New Zealand. You certainly won't be watering your lawn every day in the height of summer. Or you have more people.

So you just do it at night when. Farm or water restrictions. They might. But then you've got more neighbours. I don't do that, by the way. It's just what people do. It's just what Megan's mum does. Really?

Because it sounded like that's what you do. Oh, it's a family trait. It's what mum does. Watering your lawn in the height of summer when there's water restrictions. All the neighbours are like, why is your lawn so lush and green? Well, it's just a special grass they got.

It does well in a drought. Really? No. It's a desert grass. Yeah, right. It's not. No. Number four on the list of the top six things hitting five million in the population stats means the supermarket

won't have any bread on a Sunday an hour earlier than they currently run out of bread. So they probably won't be making more bread. It'll just run out an hour quicker. Yeah. Which is not good. Typical. Typical. Number three on the list of the top six things hitting five million population mark means it'll be impossible to shake your towel at the beach without getting sand on someone.

Oh, yeah. They'll get busier. It's a good way. They'll get a bit more packed. It's always a thing to consider when you stand up to shake your towel off when you're heading away. Which way is the wind blowing? How close am I to the person who's going to get a face full of sand?

Someone will still scowl at you even if you didn't put sand on them. I've just realised I should start taking two towels to the beach. Why? Like next summer. Why? One towel to lie on and then one towel to dry yourself with.

Why don't we do that? You've still got to pick up the sandy towel and give it a shake when you're leaving. But less sand or stick to it because it's not damp. Exactly. But you could have your little kit with you so you can put that in that. Less, yeah. Exactly. And then so you've, but you could have your little kit, eh, with you so you can put that in that.

Yeah, right. Oh, why have I not thought of that sooner? But this is alright for you. But if you're one man carrying towels for four, you've got to take eight towels. I've got to be taking

all the towels now. And then you've got a whole machine load of washing. And then times that by five million. Yeah. We're already on water restrictions. They want another towel, they carry it. They can take that by five million. Yeah. We're already on water restrictions.

They want another towel, they carry it. They can take their own bloody towel. Yeah. Stupid kids. You need to get one of those adult hooded towels.

Oh yeah, those are good. You want some food, some sunscreen, all that jazz, you bloody take it. You carry it. Oh no, you're a parent and you try to stick by this

but it's like, get your drink bottles, we've got to go. You've got to get your own drink bottles. Grab your own drink bottles, we've got to go. Go to the car now, but make sure you grab your drink bottle on the way.

Go down the road. I'm thirsty. Lucky I told you to bring your drink bottle five or six times. I didn't bring my drink bottle. Well then, good luck. Good luck being dehydrated. Number two on the list of the top six things hitting five million population means your kid just got kicked off

the school sports team. It's a numbers thing. The number is that there are a number of children better at sports than your kid now. It's okay. Not everyone can be good at sports. Nah. And number one in today's top six of the top six things hitting five million population

means cell phone numbers are going to need to be a little bit longer again. Oh yeah. Remember when it was just like six? I know. I've only got six. And people are like, oh, have you left off some numbers? I'm like, no. No.

Because that used to be, back in the day, six meant you were on a plan. Yep. And seven meant you were on prepay. Oh, is it? But now you can have seven and be on a plan. Yeah. 021 doesn't even mean you have to be with Vodafone anymore. What a confusing world we live in.

Times have changed. Groundbreaking. And then now there's, I remember a little while ago someone gave me their number and it was 8 long. Well, like the three digits at the front.

You're 021 or you're 027 or you're 022 or you're 029. And then 8. So we might need to go to 9 just because there's so many of us and we all need cell phones. That is today's top 6. I'm going to need to cross to the producers for this

and I'm going to get nothing from you two. So it was Mother's Day yesterday. Yes. Confirmed who else said happy Mother's Day to our mothers. Correct. Yes. So Father's Day. Yep.

I wrapped up a present and I wrote a card and when Andrew got home from work, Leo presented it to him. Because he is our fur baby. Now, yesterday I was like, okay, I'm not going to say anything. I'm just going to go through the day. We went to work at the cafe and the girls at the cafe were like, what has Andrew got you for Mother's Day? What has Leo got you?

He doesn't have to get you anything. Shush, please. And I was like, nothing yet. But I'll let you know. Like, I'll go home and it might be a cute card or something, you know, from Leo. But I got home and there wasn't anything. I was like, okay, maybe he's going to make dinner or something and be like, Leo's made you dinner. No, I've made dinner. I wouldn't, okay, maybe he's going to make dinner or something and be like, Leo's made you dinner. No, I've made dinner.

I wouldn't want a dog making me dinner. No. And it got to the point where I was like, I'm going to have to start dropping some hints because it's getting late. Some really subtle hints. So I was like, oh, man, Leo, you haven't even given me a hug for Mother's Day.

Come here. He's like, didn't say a word. So we went to bed and I was like, oh yeah, really great Mother's Day. I'll put you to bed, Leo. You can give me a wee Mother's Day hug. And I think by that point, he kind of maybe got the hint because he said, oh, Leo's been really busy lately.

He didn't get you a card. I was like, wow. There's nothing coming. Were you actually upset by this? I was just like, I did it for you. It was cute. He posted a picture on Instagram. It was like, my little boy's got me a Father's Day present. And he got him his favourite chocolate.

Like, it wasn't extravagant. Oh, that's dangerous for a dog. It was white chocolate. I was saying not real chocolate. Not real. It is real chocolate. It's not real chocolate. What? Okay. And it for a dog. It was white chocolate. I said not real chocolate. Not real. It is real chocolate. It's not real chocolate. What?

Okay. And it was a present. It was all wrapped up. And he wrote him a card. And it was very sweet and heartfelt. Not a lot of money, but a lot of thought. And I got nothing. And there's shines wearing off this marriage, isn't there?

She's, what? We call, this is the settling period. Right. We start settling for things. You realise it's not going to run like a honeymoon forever? Yep. We always call him our baby. He is our baby. Your baby is

ugly. That's okay. I don't need your affirmation anymore because so many people message me on Instagram saying you two are so rude to my baby. Yeah. Get it out of your system now because if I actually have an ugly child, there'll be no way. Oh, I would never say it.

I wouldn't. Even I wouldn't say that. It's going to be a gremlin with very big eyebrows. Get it out of your system now. But, Caitlin, if you had a doggy, if you had a fur child, would you like, especially if you'd already done the hard yards for Father's Day? 100%. Like, even if I had a goldfish, I'd expect something. It's your child.

Definitely. A goldfish. Maybe not a cat I just think for a dog it's your child yeah you did I should see I should have said something

as like auntie to Leo I'm sorry it's okay I yeah it's okay I don't know I love Mr Toyboy's side here

he's busy he's running a cafe he's working all the days of the week I'm busy too and I still manage to do it. You're not busy enough by the sounds of it. Yesterday, Mother's Day, the worst time to go for lunch with a friend. Everybody was taking mum out.

People trying to look happy with their bloody mothers. People celebrating the woman that gave birth to them. So now, because I've been meaning to catch up with a friend for ages and we were like,

we'll do lunch on Sunday. Initially wanted to do yum cha, but lines out the door for yum cha. it's mum's lover. Mum's lover, steamed pork bun. Everyone loves

the steamed pork bun. I couldn't imagine my mum doing a Sunday lunch yum cha. Nah, Christine probably would be a bit fancy. Yeah, Christine probably a bit fancy. Yeah, it's a bit fancy. A bit out there for Christine.

Yeah, same, my mum. A bit out there. She's a bit more sandwich. She likes French toast. But there were like lines out the door. People had numbers. They were waiting for their... They were waiting like half an hour, 45 minutes just for a table.

I haven't had yum cha for so long. What, like two weeks? Yeah. That's a long time in the Smith household to not have yum cha. They know us. Do they? They know us at our yum cha. Shari always has a big chat. That's nice. Do you get a discount?

God, no. No, okay. So the line was massive, so we were like, we'll just find somewhere else. It wasn't as packed with mums for Mother's Day, but it was still quite busy. Went in there, ordered, and it was one of those restaurants, you know, when it's Day, but it was still quite busy. Went in there, ordered, and it was one of those restaurants, you know, when it's ready, they bring it to you. Yeah.

No, it's like food sharing. So you just, plates that you share. You order like five or six different plates. You don't all get it at once. You know what I mean. You know, sometimes they have to explain that. I remember going to those restaurants where when your food's ready, they just leave it sitting somewhere for you to go and hide.

No, but they don't like get a whole table ready and bring it all at once. They come over and they're like, I just sort of let you know your food's ready, but we've hidden it. Good luck finding it. Oh my God, that'd be fun. It's somewhere in the restaurant. I'd just end up eating somebody else's though. I'd order the chicken, but then I'd find a steak.

I'd be like, this actually looks better. This'll do. So we ordered and we got like our first food, which was like bowel buns. Amazing. And then whoop, whoop, the alarm went off. The fire alarm went off. At a restaurant?

At a restaurant. Have you ever been in a restaurant when the fire alarm's gone off? No. Did everyone wait and look around and be like, I'm not moving until someone else is moving? Because you look around and you're like, well, I don't see a fire. I was hoping this was going to be when you said whoop, whoop. That was how they delivered the dumplings.

Or some dancers came up. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Or a show started. Someone ordered the lucky dish of the day. It was the pork and chive dumplings. And then the hot fire people turned up. Yeah.

No. So yeah, so everyone had to leave the restaurant and wait over the road in the bad weather for I'd say about 15, 20 minutes. But how many items had you ordered? So we still had two items to come.

Oh. And then they were like, hey, so this is after 15, 20 minutes, they were like, hey, there's no fire, but they don't know how to turn off the alarm. So you guys can all go back into the restaurant if you want. So everyone's in the restaurant with this whoop, whoop, whoop. Oh, that's not. You know, again, just to reiterate, this was on Mother's Day.

Mums don't stand for those sorts of shenanigans. There were like some elderly ladies that needed to be like, and they were sitting in there. It was like this form of torture. And it lasted, I'd say, about another five minutes before someone figured out how to turn it off. They would have just turned off the hearing aids and been in silent bliss.

But then they needed to. Just heard a light. Yeah, it was probably nothing to them. Everyone else is just like, oh God, turn this off. But they needed to recook everybody's food. Because you think if you had your main. Yeah. And then you have to evacuate.

Could you take it with you? No. I don't take your carry on. Did you ask if you could have some of the ones that we're just going to throw out? You'd be like, I'll have my recooked one. Doggy bag all up. Doggy bag. But I'll have the. And then so then we had to wait extra longer

because they needed to remake everything. And so the food queue just started again. Did you get a discount? Nah. Did you say, oh, we never got our bao buns? But we did, we ate them. I don't know. They're in the middle of a kitchen meltdown.

This is why you need us. That's fraudulent. Yeah. But sure. But it was just weird because I've never been like, you know, we've been at work and the fire alarm goes off. Or they have one of those stupid practices. Or we just get a light and we don't notice.

Yeah. But, you know, I've never been in the middle of something like where the food was just about to come or you're in the middle of eating something and you have to evacuate. Yeah, I've never been in a restaurant. And it was really weird. It was like a first. Yeah.

But I was wondering, could we take some calls? What have you been in the middle of and had to evacuate? My ball. Like, imagine. One of my balls we had to evacuate. Really? Yeah. But it was an actual fire, so you could see flames.

So it was like, oh, okay, we'll get out of here. Had the under the sea, the under the sea. Yeah, there'd been an under the sea volcanic explosion. That really went all out for the under the sea theme. No, it was a gas explosion. A gas bottle blew up or something like that. Like from a barbecue or something? No, it was like at a bar.

It was at like a... Oh, a proper bar. Yeah. Huh. You had your ball at a bar. Yeah. A school ball. No, it wasn't a school ball.

It was like a uni ball. Things got pretty loose in Nelson. I was going to say. All right, guys are going to be out of the school by 11. Should we all just go hit up the grumpy mob? Imagine you're in the middle of like a Brazilian or something. A waxing. Oh, yeah.

And the fire alarm goes off. They got one side done. Yeah, they got one side done. But you might still have a patch on or something and you've got to be standing over the road in a towel or something. You'd 100% just be like, quick, rip it off. They got one side done. Yeah, they got one side done. But you might still have a patch on or something and you've got to be standing over the road in a towel or something. You'd 100% just be like, quick, rip it off, just real quick. Alright, well 0800 96696

What have you had to evacuate right in the middle of? Give us a call or a text. Megan, go to the toilet now, please. Megan's beginning to go to the toilet. We don't need to say bowel bun because bowel means bun. So we're saying bun bun. Bun bun. That's pretty cute though.

Flesh Fauna Megan, the podcast. ZM. So I want to know what you've had to evacuate, what you've had to leave or stop in the middle of something just to evacuate. Yes. This happened at, actually I've got it on my story. I forgot I should have played this.

This is how loud the alarm was. Oh, now it's off. Oh, awful. One of those awful building alarms. Oh, horrible. So, some text messages on what you've had to evacuate in the midst of. Somebody said,

I was in the middle of a spray tan when we got evacuated. My poor client only had the front of her body done. It looked like she hadn't rotated. At least it was the whole front. Yes. Not like half the size. But then you can fix it up afterwards, right?

Yeah. But you've still got to stand somewhere looking half kind of half sprayed. Kerry, what did you have to evacuate in the middle of? You'd look like a top deck. You'd look like one of those Cadbury top decks, white chocolate and brown chocolate. Kerry, what did you have to evacuate in the middle of? You look like a top deck. You look like one of those Cadbury top decks, white chocolate and brown chocolate. Kerry, what did you have to evacuate? I was in the middle of a sunbed,

so I was absolutely stark as, and we found a little bit of a movement because it was actually an earthquake. And at this salon, everybody knew, my mum, everyone knew me, and I thought it was just the sunbed because it was only the second sunbed I'd ever had. And then everything went pitch black and I was like, oh my God, this is how I die. And then, yeah, the fire alarms started going off and it got really bad.

So you go full panic mode. You're like, oh my God, do I run out naked? Do I put on clothes? Like, what do I do? You just freeze and wait to see what happens. It was. It was like, do I put undies on? Do I just put pants on? I'm like, what do I do? So. You just freeze and wait to see what happens. It was. It was like, do I put undies on?

Do I just put pants on? Like, do we just go? What are we doing? Was it one of those stand-up sunbeds or lie-down? It was a lie-down one. Imagine if it was

a stand-up one and there was an earthquake and it fell over and locked you in there and you couldn't get out and the power was gone. Have you seen that on Final Destination?

Yes. And then you just get like crock-potted. Yeah. Well, that's final destination. It was like a shell fell down and she got locked in and toasted. Oh, it was a bad time. And then in real life, they give people cancer all the time.

So, I mean, wow. I booked a 10 trip and I never went back, so I've still got eight sitting there. Oh, right. Fair enough. Do your skin the favour and don't. Yeah, it would put me off. Hey, thanks for your call, Kerry.

Jo, whereabouts did you have to evacuate in the middle of something? I was in Royal Oak Pack and Save. Oh, what a bustling pack and save. So do you leave your trolley somewhere? Yeah. So I asked the staff assistant next to me, I was like, is that the fire alarm? They're like, I don't know. I'm like, you wouldn't care.

Someone wasn't paying attention on fire drill day. Yeah, so they put like these covers over the little bollards that you walk through so that you can walk back through it the other way without having to push them. Yeah, they've got like these covers they put over it. So everyone went out and then it was like 45 minutes. 45 minutes? Because I'm not sure if you've been to Royal Oak Pack and Save, but I've got two car parks,

and I parked in the bottom car park. Oh, no. Oh, so you couldn't get your car. Yeah. I couldn't be bothered walking back around again. I was like, I'll just keep waiting. And then I was just like, oh, five more minutes. Oh, five more minutes.

And then when I went back inside, there were just trolleys left everywhere. Didn't you bloody hokey pokey? Ice cream would be all melted. Oh, yeah. Luckily, I'd only made it just past fruit. Oh, okay. So I didn't eat that much.

Okay. Just past cold juice. Everyone knows ice cream's always last, isn't it? All right, hey, I think. You wouldn't want to have got fish fingers. Thanks, you, Joe. Georgie, what did you have to evacuate in the middle of? I was about 11, and I was in the middle of the movies, and my mum had literally just gone to the bathroom at the wrong time.

So there was about three 11-year-olds just walking around this empty mall, not really knowing what's going on. What, because the alarm went off? Yeah, and the whole mall was evacuated, and we got trapped inside because we didn't know we had to leave. Oh, my God. And did you find mum again? Yeah, it was about an hour and a half later,

and she was freaking out, but we were fine. Fine, you had a brand new outfit from Sterling Sports. Yeah, a few lollies from Picking Miss. Yeah. What do they do when a movie gets evacuated? Well, somebody messaged in saying they were recently watching Avengers Endgame, and it went off, and they just paused it. And someone said, oh, we'll just pause it and we'll come back to it.

But you never go to a movie and they're like, oh, it's 15 minutes, 20 minutes late. Do you? Have you ever been to a movie and it's running late? I guess sometimes they do. I don't know. What do you mean? You know, like. Oh, you mean like the movie, the next movie.

You go to the movie and the 5.'s now 530 and everything's for the... Pushed out. Yeah. No, but there's always a big get. Maybe they just have to race the cleaner. They have to vacuum

super quick. Don't do the popcorn in between two movies. Yeah. You walk in, you're like... Leave it on the floor. Standing on everybody's rubbish.

Yeah. There hasn't been time for a clean between. 722. James, our producer, is an Uber Eats driver. Just started. Moonlighting as an Uber Eats driver. Just started. Moonlighting as an Uber Eats driver.

Yes, we're going to find out what people were eating at the weekend. And what he was asked to do. Snapshot of the country, isn't it? It is. What a great podcast so far, wouldn't you agree, Fletch? Yes. And it's all thanks to Spark. Get one gig of bonus data with the Spark U25 pack.

Now, back to the podcast. He's only gone and got himself a second job. It's producer James. And the Uber Eats mobile. We need a catchy nickname and an intro, mate, I think, because I'm loving hearing these stories, James. Yeah, I'm enjoying it as well. I'm just hoping maybe Uber hears them as well and starts, you know,

feeding maybe some more tips my way or something or maybe more jobs. Or just less fees. Less fees would be good, yeah. Less of a cut. So how many shifts did you clock over the weekend? Because you said on Friday you were going to leave work and go and spend

the afternoon. Yeah, so I went out after work on Friday. It probably would have been around the lunchtime rush. Hot play Friday. Everyone's lazy, aren't they? The pre-prepared meals are out the window because they were yuck. Because I tell you, Friday afternoon, it was hectic. It was crazy. I couldn't

stop the notifications coming through. I had jobs before I'd even dropped off the next order. Is it hard to stop because you get another job and you get another job? I know. it's very, it's addicting. It's sort of like one more job. Just one more, just one more. Can you plan your job so that maybe you could go two

food pickups and a loop round and two drop-offs? They don't let you do two at once but they'll send you a notification for a pickup that's close to your drop-off so they can see where your drop-off is and they're like, oh. Oh, but I hate that, you know, when you get an uber and it's like your driver's completing another job nearby it's like it's like your drivers with someone else right now how do you feel about

that not great not great i want to be number one i want my ride right now yeah so i delivered a started off with a malaysian curry in town um you know what i forgot of the curry family, but damn, Malaysian food is great. They know how to do a good curry. Are you finding this is making you eat more food or want more takeaways? No. Because I couldn't have a Malaysian curry in my Toyota Corolla. No, I mean, because once I put it in the isolation bag and you close it up, you don't smell it. That's right.

Because for those who haven't heard this segment, is you purchased a... An isolation bag. An isolation bag. Big enough to put an 18-inch sales pizza in. Yeah, it's kind of insulated so the heat stays in. And I went to Bed Bath & Beyond and bought one on special. Yeah, right. And just keep it in the back of the car.

I actually used it in the weekend just to put some drinks in to take to a party. Versatile. Very versatile. You pay for yourself. You don't need to worry about that. I dropped a Malaysian curry up to take to a party. Versatile. Very versatile. You pay for yourself. You don't need to worry about that. I dropped a Malaysian curry up to K Road. First time I actually had to call the customer

and find out where they were. They couldn't find my car or anything. Does it make you anxious talking to so many strangers? A lot of people just don't actually want to talk to you. Yeah. If they order over eats, they just want the meal and to just go back into their caves. Do they give you a pleasantry, like a hello, or not even?

A couple of people. I had a couple of have a good days over the weekend. Oh, bless. That's nice. Yeah, remember your Uber Eats driver is a human too. They need a have a nice day. Some basic pleasantries. What other kind of food over the weekend?

My first sales pizza, but one of the small ones in town. So you haven't yet had the full 18 inch you're in your isolation bag. I haven't had to stretch the isolation bag. You haven't really had to put it through its faces. No. So then I did an Indian curry on Friday which made me stop my shift because I just

got a bit over it. A man that made me deliver his curry to his door on the 7th floor of his apartment. And he buzzed me in, got me right to the door. No, that's not acceptable. Well, what's the etiquette there? What's the etiquette? Well, normally what I've had is a lot of people will come and meet you down out the front.

And you just give it to them. They go back up in the lift and go to the top. But in the details, he said seventh floor. He gave me the number of his apartment and he said, come to the door and I'll buzz you in. And you deliver it right to the door. So up the lift and everything, got there and then I was like, that's me. Wait, what kind of curry was it?

You said Indian curry, but what kind of Indian curry? It was a korma. Not a bad choice. It's a good choice. Maybe a naan as well. Did he look lazy? Yeah, he did. You know what I'm saying. Did he look lazy? You know what I'm saying. Did he look like he'd been outside much?

No, no, definitely not. He was in his apartment all day. When he opened the door, did it smell waft? Okay. He was very much get over with it. You know, I grabbed the curry out of my hand. I didn't even give it to him. Wow, you're targeting gamers here, Fletch.

I feel like you're targeting people who don't like to leave their apartment and they might be a little bit BO-ing. We've all got a picture of what this guy looks like. So I stopped on Friday, went back out on Saturday, did almost an early morning, sort of 10 o'clock. I like how you're doing the different times of the day to see what's out there at different times. I reckon this was my most lucrative shift. Because hungover people. Hungover people.

Saturday morning. Yeah, and it was sort of in that middle of getting breakfast but a couple of McDonald's orders as well right

so I had one order that was I picked up three coffees from Parnell and then took it to Grey Lynn which is probably

a good probably 10 15 minute drive yeah they would have been cold oh yeah that's what I

thought and also wouldn't they have had a coffee shop next to their house yeah they live in Grey Lynn you can't literally spit without having a coffee shop that's what I would have been cold. Yeah, that's what I thought. And also wouldn't they have had a coffee shop next to their house? Yeah, they're living in Grey Limby. You can't literally spit without hanging in a coffee shop.

That's what I would have thought. Probably one of my more challenging rides, having three full coffees in the back of your car in an isolation bag too. You need to buy a... Was there any spillage? I like your dedication to putting them in the isolation bag. Yeah, but the cafe had sellotaped over the lids, though,

to make sure it didn't spill. This isn't their first time. But a couple of slow corners, but I got it there in the end. And then today, my first McDonald's order, where you go through the drive-thru and pick it up from the side as well. What do you say at the thing, hey, I'm from Uber Eats? Yeah, I just said Uber Eats order for Joe, and they gave it to you. They gave me Joe's order.

So you don't technically go to the first window. You go only to the last window. Do they need identification? No, they just gave it to me straight away. You just found a loophole there. Just drive through Maccas and rush out and be like, Uber Eats Sarah. Uber Eats John.

No, try again. I thought you said John, I meant Andrew. Fletch, Vaughn and Megan's Food Fight, the Chippies edition. Well, it's all whittled down to this. Two chips remaining in the Food Fight Chippy edition. I'm going to be honest. I saw one of these chips in the final. The other, no way.

You guys are hating me. No way, Jose. I would have had this brand different flavour. No, that's such a good flavour. To me, I would have had a salt and vinegar on salt and vinegar final. I'm just disappointed there's no, what do you call the, like, you know, the cheese balls, the burger ring

flavoured snacks. Like a cheese flavoured snack. I would have loved a cheese flavoured snack in the final. But no. Only one chip you can win. Variety. Well, the final. Yeah. But no. Only one chippy can win. Variety. Well, the first one is... Oh, no. No, that didn't work. I was trying to do the popping thing.

You just crunched them. Yeah, I just smashed the top of them. I just smashed the top half a dozen. Pringles are in the final. That's right. I cannot believe this. Once you pop, you can't stop. According to them and you, because you voted them through,

sour cream and onion Pringles. Can't stop, according to them and you because you voted them through. Everyone knows that's true. Sour cream and onion Pringles. See, you would have thought what you would have been a salt and vinegar flavour. Yeah, I would have too. No, but the sour cream and onion Pringles is just, it's legit. And until we started this, I thought this was sour cream and chives. No. Like the classic flavour, but it's not. I don't think the salt and vinegar Pringles are salt and vinegary enough.

Ooh. You don't think? No. They are up against an absolute Kiwi classic. Yeah. The institution is... No, get a better chip than that one. What are you imagining?

Like a bigger one. No, that's... I'm fingering all the chips now. That's okay. That one's a better chip. That's a perfect one. Okay, okay. Bluebird salt and vinegar, original cut.

No. Why don't you go on the side? Just crunch it normal. No, you've got to get it between your teeth. Trust me. Oh, yeah, that was good. That was good. Now, you would expect those to win, right?

Yeah. But, I mean, we've been surprised by Pringles. Yeah. Up until now. So maybe they could die. Pringles never say die attitude. Yeah. So you vote.

You've got 24 hours to vote on our Instagram, FEMZM, in the stories. So vote either for Bluebird Salt and Vinegar or for Pringles, sour cream. Sour cream and onion. Now, the winner will be announced tomorrow. And then on Thursday, we're going to give away, because we always like to celebrate Food Fight.

We gave away, do you remember we gave away $1,000 worth of cheeseburgers? Yep, cheesy bees. When they won. Yeah. We did Hotshot Friday. Yeah, we gave away all the dollar mixtures when we did the lollies edition. Yeah. Well, we've decided to give away $1,000 cash on Thursday. Now you have

a chance to win this either by calling up during the show on Thursday morning or joining us at the Palms in Christchurch because we're going to do the cash chip dip. Yes, I've checked the weather and it's looking pretty good in Christchurch on Thursday morning when we're going to be doing the cash chip dip. Basically, we'll

be taking you and a chippy up in a scissor lift to the height of about six meters you will then drop your chip and if it lands in the ramekin ramekin ramekin ramekin ramekin ramekin because it's small why don't we just say bowl a bowl of dip well it's he wanted to sound fancy you wanted to sound fancy if you can land it in there, you will win. Now, we'll also be dropping the chip for listeners around the country. So it doesn't matter if you can't get to the Palms in Christchurch. But are we going to do $1,000 for the first person to get it in?

Or are we going to do a draw from everyone that gets it in? Because what if we do it and someone gets it in first go? I think we need to practice and see how easy slash hard it is. If it's really easy, we're going to have to do a draw. Well, in classic us style, if it is the first person that gets it in,

we'll probably be like, oh no, we'll do a draw now. And then they'll take umbrage with that and they'll be very upset about that and we'll say, just relax.

And then they won't want to relax and they'll take us to court. Yeah, yeah. And then they'll like burn through their $1,000 that they didn't even win in the first two minutes of hiring a lawyer. So maybe we should do everyone that gets the chip in goes in the drawer. But if only one person gets the chip in, of course, there'll be no need for a drawer.

Good call. Good call, Vaughn. Just a little bit of legal brainstorming on air there. That's great. We'll avoid another trip to court. Fletch, Vaughn. Just a little bit of legal brainstorming on air there. That's great. We'll avoid another trip to court. Yesterday, we've kind of been talking about it for a little while, but it was Mother's Day, so Sade left her family. Just for the day.

She came back. Right. Always a worry that one day she won't. But she went to get a mani-pedi. Because we were like, you go and do that. We're just going to chill. I gave the girls the options. You want to go to the movies or do you want to watch Harry Potter at home?

Because we've talked about watching Harry Potter for a while. Okay. But I was, even the first Harry Potter, there's a little, there's some scary bits. I don't think we're going to get to Harry Potter 3 anytime. The presence of Azkaban is very scary with the Dementors and stuff. Oh, yeah, the Dementors. I've never seen. Because you showed them Jurassic Park and they were like.

Oh, yeah. Not in the whole context. I only showed them that one scene. Oh, right. Because how many movies are there? Harry Potter? Yeah. Seven?

Seven? Which one did I see? You saw the very last one. Oh, great. You were so underwhelmed and you talked through the whole thing. Yeah. Who's that? Oh, is that sad?

But I don't think I'd like it, eh? You said I wouldn't like it. Nah. I trust War Mini Seasons when he gives me an opinion of movies. It's not up your alley, mate. It's not your fandom. Have you seen Avengers yet?

No, I've been meaning to still. Come on, mate. We're not going to beat bloody Avatar if you hate to go and see the movies, please. Come on. We've got to get Avatar to beat bloody Avatar if you ever go, pay to go and see the movies, please. Come on. We've got to get Avatar off the top. That was a silly movie. So we watched, we sat down and we built a fort out of all the pillows we could find

because mum wasn't home to tell us not to. And that's their mum, not my mum. Wrecking the nice couch. Yeah, yeah. So we took all the cushions off and we made this fort to watch Harry Potter in. And we started. Okay. We kicked off Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone. Now, previous, like when they were really

young, we did that sorting hat situation on the Harry Potter website, Pottermore. You can find out what houses we were in. And I'm happy to say I was a Hufflepuff. I'm a Jigglypuff, aren't I? Which one am I? If you were a Pokemon, you'd be a Jigglypuff, aren't I? Which one am I? If you were a Pokemon, you'd be a Jigglypuff,

but you're a Slytherin. See, I understand why you're a Slytherin, but I got Slytherin and I don't get it. But I'm willing to embrace it. You have to embrace your Slytherin. Ariana Grande is a Slytherin too. That's also what a Slytherin would say. There's been many great Slytherins.

Slytherins have done great things. Severus Snape, he was a Slytherin. Yeah, that's true. Some strong Slytherins. I'm embracing my Slytherin. So we did the test. I was a Huffleppe. He was a Slytherin. Yeah, that's true. Some strong Slytherins. I'm embracing my Slytherin. So we did the test. I was a Hufflepuff. Shadow was a Ravenclaw.

We've got a good spread. Indy was our Gryffindor. And August was our Slytherin. I love that we're both Slytherins. She's a Slytherin through and through. So when we started, she's like, I'm going to go put on my Harry Potter pajamas. I was like, okay.

She's like, I'm a Slytherin. And she came back in her Slytherin pajamas.lor swift is a slytherin as well is she is she you googled famous slytherins 15 famous uh celebrities who are totally slytherin she's definitely sorry carry on so uh she's in her slytherin and we're watching it and we immediately established pre-sorting hat the Draco Malfoy. He's a naughty boy. She's like, oh, he's naughty.

And then the hat goes on and he gets put into Slytherin house and she looks at me and she's like, it's not good. We've got the naughty boy. And I was like,

oh, I've just dawned on me. She has absolutely no idea that pretty much all the bad people in the Harry Potter movie are Slytherins.

And you told her that she's a Slytherin. Just confident people. Just like really ballsy people. Well, that's the thing. Not every Slytherin is bad, but every bad person kind of happens to be Slytherin in the Harry Potter series, apart from Severus. R.I.P. That's Alan Rickman's character.

And then the Harry Potter gets made Seeker in the Quidditch team, and that's unusual because he's character and then the Harry Potter gets made seeker in the Quidditch team and that's unusual because he's a first year and they're never seekers in the Quidditch team for Gryffindor and Fletch has got no idea, his eyes almost glazed over there. So then there's the first Quidditch match with Harry as seeker

and it looks like it's going to be a pretty even competition until Harry catches the snitch and of course that's worth 150 points isn't it Fletch? Yeah. And that automatically makes Gryffindor the winner and Indy says hooray Gryffindor and August was like

I'm not watching this anymore! Kicks out the wall of the fort and storms off. I'm not watching it! My team lost! I'm not watching it. My team lost. I'm not watching this anymore. Slytherin lost the game of Quiritch. I was like, it's Quidditch. And she went to her room and played other stuff

because she didn't want to watch the rest of Harry Potter. Did you go in there and be like, that's such a Slytherin thing? It was a very Slytherin. I mean, the irony of that was completely lost on it. It was such a Slytherin move. It was a very Slytherin. I mean, the irony of that was completely lost on it. It was such a Slytherin move. But, I mean, maybe we will put this off for a little bit. Maybe I'll let her do the sorting hat again. And I'll, we all know she's a Slytherin.

But I'll disguise it. Maybe she can be a Hufflepuff with me. Yeah, right. She's not a Hufflepuff. She's a Slytherin. Ah, and that will happen before we watch the rest of the movies. Yeah, otherwise she's not going to want to watch them, is she? Just tell her I'm a Slytherin. She'll be like, oh my God, yes.

Yeah, but so is Voldemort. She loves Ariana Grande. Tell her Ariana Grande is a Slytherin. That's a good approach. And Taylor Swift. She loves Taylor Swift. Yeah. And Kris Jenner.

Kris Jenner. Momager herself. Okay. Who else? Justin Bieber. Justin Bieber, she likes him. Calvin Harris or Piers Morgan. We don't want him, do we?

Hufflepuff could have him. Donald Trump. Oh, yeah. Now I want to be a Hufflepuff. We've got many great people. Flesh, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast ZM. So I have a conversation I'd like to put forward.

Discussed with a group of girls at the weekend. They had travelled from Timaru up to Auckland for Post Malone to go to his gig. Very excited. Very, very excited. I love me a bit of Post Malone as well. So we were bantering. We're like, yeah, oh man, I love him. So great. I said I love his confidence. We like pink suits. I love me a bit of Post Malone as well. So we were bantering. We're like, yeah, oh man, I love him. So great.

I said, I love his confidence. We like pink suits. I love it. And they were like, yeah, he's so hot. And I was like, well, I mean, unconventionally short. I mean, like everyone likes something different. That's personality driven hotness. That's what I think.

Because his confidence and attitude gets him over the line I think the kids call that swag I don't want to say swag but I mean he's got isn't it always tired under his eyes

is it celebrity because would he be getting this kind of... I don't think it is celebrity because I don't find every celebrity male attractive. But there is something about Post Malone, and maybe it is the swag. It's his attitude. It's his confidence.

His I don't care what you think. Like, that is so much more attractive. I've always said the attitude will push you up a couple of points. If you've got a good attitude, if you're not arrogant. What kind of attitude? A can-do attitude? No, like, really confident but not arrogant. Yeah, right.

And, like, doesn't take themselves too seriously. That'll get you up a couple of points always. Because you said your friend was at one of his shows, and, like like women were literally Flashing him So it wasn't this one group of girls that found him attractive Like there was a lot of boobs out At Post Malone

Maybe you've missed your career board What? Look at we for Post Malone No because you've got to have skill to back up your personality Yeah I mean that's true. You're not backing any musical skill department. But, I mean, of course, like, do you remember the outcry when he cut off his hair? Because his hair was a bit ratty, if we're honest.

And then he cut his hair. Has he got short hair now? Yeah. That was a while ago. Or maybe it's grown back. He's, like, cut it off and everyone was like, oh, my God, your beautiful hair. And I was like, what my God, your beautiful hair. And I was like, would we call it beautiful? So you were in an argument with these people

about whether Post Malone was hot or not. Yeah. But they were sold 100% would. Absolutely would, Post Malone. But then there's always been the unconventionally attractive. Like you think of how many women love that guy that played Tony Soprano, James Gandolfini.

Oh, yeah, yeah. Like, he wasn't exactly what he was like. He was dad bodied before he was dad bodied, but he was Tony Soprano. Even if it was acting, he had the skill to carry off the character that was Tony Soprano. Like, that was such an intense character

of so many facets and levels. And you watch it and he just... a lot of women really liked him. I've always found unconventional guys hot. Like, I really, really dig Rami Malek. He's like. Oh, come on. He's attractive. He's just attractive.

He's just attractive. He's not. The lead singer of Muse, he like tickles my fancy quite a lot too. Who was he? Kate. Kate Hudson, eh? Kate Hudson, yeah. Kate Hudson.

And like I really like crooked teeth as well. I feel like that's my bag. Right, okay. Like how crooked? Clean. They have to be clean but a little bit crooked. But can be crooked. And they all have to be there?

Because it's different. Oh yeah. They all have to be there. Yeah, they all have to be there. Well that rules out my brother. But they can be a little bit crooked but they have to be clean. Yeah, because it's different. I don. They all have to be there. Well that rules out my brother. But they can be a little bit crooked but they have to be clean. Yeah because it's different.

I don't know. Okay. Would love to talk this morning about people that you've found unconventionally attractive. Like Post Malone. Okay. Right.

Who do you find attractive and everyone else is like okay. Different. Different. There is someone for everyone. Okay. Different but nice. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Different. There is someone for everyone. Different but nice. Alright, well, give us a call. 0800

DARS at M 9696. We'd love to talk now about people that you find unconventionally hot. I had a conversation with a group of girls, about six of them, who all found Post Malone irresistible. It's different. It's a confidence. It is. It's a swag.

Told you it's a... So we want to know from you, who are some people you find unconventionally attractive? And maybe your friends are like, really? But you're sticking with it anyway. Kate, who do you find very attractive? Simon Cowell. He's not a bad looking man, though, is he?

No, he's good. I guess the power. Yeah. I mean, that's appealing, but it's that V-neck shirt with it slightly undone. The dip down. And it's the possibility of getting the wink if you were really good. Yeah, right. You have to work for it?

You really have to work for it. Yeah, you do. Yeah, you've really got to impress him. Yeah, hard being in a relationship, right. You have to work for it? You really have to work for it. Yeah, you do. Yeah, you've really got to impress him. Yeah, hard being in a relationship, though. You wouldn't want him to red cross you halfway through a hookup, would you? Presses his buzzer. Yeah. You're out.

Kate, thanks for your call. Ali, who do you find unconventionally hot? Old sissy boy, Seth Rogen. Yeah, but he's funny. Funny. Yeah. Sweet. His camera, his dad bod, Seth Rogen. Yep, he's funny. Funny, yeah. Sweet and... His dad bod, everything. Yeah, I get that.

Yeah, thank you. The laugh. Is there one particular movie that just you love with him in it? The one with him and the girl when they start dating. Catherine Heigl. Knocked up? Knocked up. Oh, I'll let him knock me up.

He's a real loser in that movie though. He turns around and he... Yeah, but to all your friends, do they just not get it? They're just like...

Yeah, they're like, no, I don't know what it is. I'm like, it's just something about him. Yeah. Brilliant.

Alright. Hey, thanks you for calling. Allie, Natalie, who do you find unconventionally attractive? Hi, guys. Random call Ali. Natalie, who do you find unconventionally attractive? Hi, guys. Random one, but the redhead wildling guy off Game of Thrones.

I can't remember his name. Oh, Tormund. Tormund Giant Spain. He's sort of like, you know, he's got the gingers and those crazy eyes. No, but I feel like he's sweet. Yeah. His heart's in the right place Yeah Yeah and I'm gutted

He's not going to be on For the next two episodes So I don't know Hey hey hey Never say never We don't know Never say never Natalie thanks

You call some text messages Megan You'll be in on this Because it's one of the Hanson brothers But it's Isaac The oldest Hanson brother Oh no that's niche

No one liked Isaac. He was like, no. I was a Taylor girl. Yeah, everyone was Taylor or the younger one if you wanted like the cute one, right? Yeah, yeah. Some other text messages in. Somebody said, my mum wants you to know Christopher Walken. Oh, okay.

Just even hearing him talk, that'd be enough, eh? That'd be it. That's good stuff. Some other text messages in. I had a moment of sexual awakening when I first saw Tim Curry as Frankenfurter in the Rocky Horror Picture Show. No word if that person was a guy or a girl that messaged that in. That could have been a sexual awakening from either side of the fence there. I mean, it was an awakening of all sorts.

Ever since I was a kid, I found Rod Stewart very attractive. Rock and Rod. Oh, I don't get that. Rock and Rod. I don't get it. Somebody else said

Jeremy Clarkson. Jeremy Clarkson's sexy. Really? Very sexy. Is it just the way that he drives an Audi? But I don't know, like all out.

Yeah. Someone said TV3 political correspondent Patrick Gower really ticks my boxes. Oh, he's lovely though. He's a lovely man. He's real sweet. My best friend was once attracted to Mr. Bean. Not Rowan Atkinson. Not Rowan Atkinson.

Mr. Bean when he was... Mr. Bean. Mr. Bean. Wow. Somebody else said... Why would you admit that? It's not musically at all, but Chad Kroger from Nickelback. Very attractive, but not musically.

Doesn't like the music, but loves... Right. Because anyone... Anyone with me on Elon Musk? Gosh. No one's messaged Elon Musk. No, a lot of people do, though. His jawline.

Ooh. The guy that played Ramsay Bolton on Game of Thrones has had a few messages on the text machine. He wasn't a bad-looking man, though, was he? But he was a bad man. He played the character too well. He was a bad man. I mean, he probably cut himself off from a certain segment

of the dating pool just because he played that character so fantastically. Like the guy who played Joffrey. They did a great job, but kind of ruined acting for themselves for the rest of maybe forever. Yeah. So there you go. Oh, Seth MacFarlane.

Family guy. He's got the funny though. And he's got a great voice and he's attractive. Do that voice again. Do that voice again. Say my name is. What the deuce? Oh, yeah.

That's good stuff. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Today's fact of the day is why a tyre is called a tyre. As in the clothing a tyre or a tyre on your car? No, a tyre on your car. Okay. But Fletch, Carl, Peter, Fletch. Do you know what my daughter's just found out on the weekend?

What? That your name's not Fletch. That it's Carl. And they were just like, why? Why? Why? I was like, oh, it's just Fletch's nickname. And they were just like, why? Why? Why? I was like, oh, it just switches his nickname. No!

Call him Carl! They were so angry. Pardon my last name. Yeah, no, they were like, no, no. Wait, so they're angry we don't call him by his actual name? That we've given him, that we've just changed it all around. Carl Vornamegan doesn't sound as good. It doesn't sound as good.

I think I said that's why it happened because Carl wasn't cool enough. Yeah. It wasn't a cool sounding name. Yeah. No offence. No offence. No offence.

No offence. For your birth name. No offence. Your name sucks. Ah. But no, they just found that out so they were upset.

But you are right, Carl Peter Fletcher, as attire is short for attire because short for attire because a wheel is dressed with attire. But attire is spelled differently to tire. Well, Megan, it shouldn't be.

It should be spelled T-I-R-E. Megan Louise Salas Slovak Papadopoulos. It shouldn't be. T-I-R-E is the correct spelling of tyre as it is shortened from a tyre. It's a tyre for a wheel. But why do we spell tyre with a Y? I don't know.

Because is that the English or the US spelling? The English, the first sighting of T-Y-R-E was in the 1840s in English. Published in England initially. I think Americans say, spell it tire, T-I-R-E. Tony's Tire Service is a Y. Yeah. And there's also, if you search tire shops,

there's also tire shops with T-I-R-E. And then if you look at the definition. Tire of your behavior. Yeah, right. To grow tired. Yeah. Yeah. right. I like to grow tired. Yeah. Yeah. Okay.

So T-Y-R-E is not now accepted by the best English authorities, apparently, and is unrecognized in the U.S. So we've kind of... Huh. Yeah. So T-I-R-E is correct because the wheel traditionally before that wheels were wooden wheels on wagons. Right.

Or steel wheels on trains. There was not a wheel that had a rubber outing to it. So when they did, they said, well, if you're going to dress, you've got to dress up your wheel with a tire. Right. Clothing a tire. Clothing a tire. You're dressing the wheel, so it is called a tire. So we should be spelling it with an I.

Yes. I'm going to call Tony. He's going to have to rebrand this entire premises. Huge wake-up call for Tony. He's going to have to do a total rebrand and change the Y to an I. But T-Y-R-E is the established British spelling over the course of the 20th century. Oh, right. Well, he'll probably just leave it up.

I think he'll probably just leave it up. I've looked at the word tyre too much now. It looks weird. And it doesn't make sense? Yeah. Yeah. Because I've always struggled. Is it T-I-R-E or is it T-Y-R-E?

T-Y-R-E. Yeah, so either or. You can use either. Right. Oh, God. Bow repairs as well. They're going to have to change to an I. They're an I.

They're a Y, are they? Unbelievable. Any big sort of, any big brand places going with the T-I-R-E? Or are they all going T-Y? All T-Y, all T-Y. Oh, well. It's a USP in this full market of tyre distributors. You could be the T-I-R-E guy.

So today's fact of the day is a tyre is called a tyre because it comes from the idea that a wheel is dressed when it has attire on. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Hey Megan Yes Vaughan Did you drive a car on the weekend? Yeah I did. How did you find that whole experience? It was pretty standard, actually.

Not riveting, but I didn't have any dramas. Takes all sorts, doesn't it? Yeah. Yep. Same. Fletch, you don't have a car, so you probably can't weigh in. Oh, I did drive at the weekend, Vaughan. Oh, did you?

What a coincidence. Yes. How was it? Well, I had a talk issue with something, didn't I? Which is why we're doing this segment, I'm assuming. What happened? He asked without really needing to ask because he feels like it's coming anyway. I should actually remember when I have a rant to you guys about something in the morning

that it's going to turn into this segment. But you know what? I think people are going to be on my side with this one. So at the weekend I did. So I don't have a car because I live in an apartment, but in the city there are these cars you can sign up to. You don't have a car because you're a loser. Get a car.

Why do I need a car? I don't need a car. Add to the gas emissions. Yeah, man. What's wrong with you? Be part of the traffic jam. I don't need to. Can't be part of the problem.

Be part of the... No, the other way around to. Dude. Can't be part of the problem. Be part of the... No, the other way around. I can walk to work quicker than I can drive. That just means you don't drive that fast in a van. So because I don't have a car or anywhere to park it, I don't have a car. I live in the city, so I can walk to work. It's fine.

But there are these cars that you can sign up and you get a swipe card and you can use them by the hour or half hour. So I was like, I need to go pick some stuff up. Needed to go to the hardware store. I know. Cute. Very masculine.

It was very masc. And I got a paintbrush. Okay, you killed it all. I got a paintbrush and you get some pretty paint. So it was quite early on Sunday, so I was driving back and there weren't many people around or cars. And coming up to these traffic lights, and they go red. And I'm like, this is odd because there's no one around.

No other cars. So, I mean, I should have got the green. This is what I'm thinking. And just out of the corner of my eye, I spot someone, a pedestrian, who pressed the button to cross at the lights on a tiny little side street. And they walked ahead. They walked before they got a green person. So they jaywalked, but they still pressed the button.

Don't press the button if you're going to jaywalk. Just jaywalk. Because then they held me up and I had to wait for no one. So there was no other cars. There were no other cars, no other pedestrians. They jaywalked but they pressed the button anyway. Do you know sometimes I do that just to have a wee, if I'm a pedestrian I'll be like, I'm gonna

push it. Don't push the button. You don't need to push the button. Slow down man. You know those traffic lights on busy streets that are only there for people to cross the road? God, that gets me going when someone pushes that and they're jaywalking anyway, and then the lights go green and...

There's one down there for everyone who's meandering across to the gym. That's just a pedestrian, and people do that too. How do you feel about that? Now that you bring it up, not great, actually. That's a busy street, though. I know, but they're wandering across all the time.

You just say they're going to jaywalk. If you're going to jaywalk, don't press the pedestrian button. Yeah. But press it if you don't want to jaywalk. I've got no problem with that. But this person was already up the road, and they couldn't take it back. Get to the other side of the road and press, unpress it or something. You can't do that.

They should have a cancel button on that. They should have a cancel button on that. That's actually a great idea. I thought most things need a cancel button. Yeah. Like lifts. Yep. Yes.

They need a cancel button. Well, you should be able to unpress the floor if you accidentally press the wrong. Yeah, rather than having to stop it. Or if you don't want to ride with anybody, if it stops, just press cancel so it carries on. Yeah, sure. That'd be pretty great too.

That is a great idea. It'd be super handy. But they probably just pushed it to piss you off. But you know, when you walk up to it, you're like, I think it's a good thing. You automatically like, I'm just going to push this button. And then you're like, oh, no traffic coming. I might just scooch. Well, look first before you press the button.

But how, like, were you far away? How fast were you going? They might not have seen you coming until it was too late. Doesn't matter, man. It was Fletch.

He was going slow but very erratic. That's Fletch's driving style. You're the slowest erratic driver I've ever... I'm slow but very erratic. He's like,

okay, we don't want to push the speed limit, we'll go 35. But, I don't drive... Change lanes! Whoosh!

Yeah. Indicate and go! I've never had an accident You're the one that follows too close It's just because you caused them Everyone else is slamming on their brakes

to avoid you Incredible Neither of you two have had an accident It is Born on the motorway and Fletch the slowest accident

you'll ever see I'm not I don't drive slow Fletch would just be like a cruise ship having an accident Crash He's not stopped he's not stopped.

He's not stopped. No, he's still just pushing them. They're calling it increasingly casual dating times. So with all the dating apps and everything, people are kind of going on so many dates. They're forgetting general etiquette that you should just have for everyone out of respect. Right.

So there's a list of the worst dating etiquette mistakes you can make. Okay. So what you're saying is avoid these. Just remember these, especially if you're trying to impress someone. I think sometimes you go on so many dates, you just say, oh, it's another one. But everyone's different. This person might be the one. And yeah, these are things you need to remember.

Ignoring your date's wants and needs is number one. So things that you might like, like scary movies or, you know. Wood-fired pizza. Oh, yeah, that happened to you. Or they could be gluten intolerant. Oh, thanks for telling me. It's probably not going to get that way. You're going to have to pay $2 extra

for a gluten-free base now. Yeah, or they could be vegetarian and you're just taking them to a steakhouse. Yes, to a steakhouse. Yeah. Well, they have asparagus there. Actually, that would be great because the most expensive thing

on the menu at a steakhouse is always the steak. But if they just got a bunch of, like, duck-fat potatoes, no, they wouldn't eat that because of the duck fat. Broccoli. You're out of the state already, aren't you? I'm just, like, of like duck fat potatoes, no, they wouldn't eat that because of the duck fat. Broccoli. You're out of the state already, aren't you?

I'm just like going to a sushi place. Like I'd be like, oh no. Yeah, right. I'm like the only person in the world that doesn't eat sushi. So kind of work out what they like first. Okay. Make sure that you clarify the place you're going. Ignoring what they're into and putting yourself first

is what you say for when you're married. When you've got to the point where you're like, oh, come on. Yeah, I've locked this in now. I don't need to try. You like sushi. Don't be silly.

Yeah, something else you need to remember when you're going on a date is dressing appropriately. Do not dress inappropriately for the activity. So if you've decided on a pretty fancy restaurant,

don't turn up in like... Slipknot t-shirt. Yeah. Leave that at home, Vaughn. It's not appropriate. I say that, I reference a specific person I had in mind. They finally got a date and they're like, I'm out. And I'm like, you're not wearing that.

And that was me saying that when I lived in Hamilton. Right. Even I knew better. I was like, you're not wearing that. But also dressing way too fancy. Like if you're, I don't know about guys, but if a guy makes me feel undressed, I really hate it. Like, makes me feel self-conscious.

Right. Being fashionably late, that's not a thing. Not for a date, and especially not the first date, because you left them sitting there waiting. You could be five minutes late, right? Five minutes. Yeah. And always message.

Don't just leave them sitting there because you feel vulnerable. Yeah, right. Ordering for your them sitting there because you feel vulnerable. Yeah, right. Ordering for your date is a massive no-no. Who's doing that? I don't know. People don't do that, surely. But they've said pushing your ideas about food onto another person is very rude. Don't think it's cute.

Right. Because it's definitely not. This one's obvious. Don't stare at your phone. Even if you're like not enjoying the date, maybe just like end it rather than staring

at your phone. Leave it in your pocket. But then you're getting vibrations and you're like, I wonder who that is. Vaughn's like, again, save that for marriage.

When you stare at your phone all day. But it is weird when you're at a restaurant and you see like a couple and they're just on their phone, eh? Yeah.

We've got this thing where if it's just the two of us and we go out, Sharda's like, well, only one of us can check our phone at a time and you see like a couple and they're just on their phone, eh? Yeah. Yeah, we've got this thing where if it's just the two of us and we go out, Shardy's like, well, only one of us can check our phone at a time and you're not allowed to be on there long.

It has to look like a quick check. Right. Yeah. So people would look at us and be like, oh, they've probably got kids they're probably just checking in. Like that sort of quick.

Yeah, right. Checking in. Flick a quick message. No, they don't want to, you don't want people looking at you like, oh, they hate each other. Yeah.

We're not allowed to do phones at all when we're out in public because, yeah, we're like, people will look at us and think we don't want to actually talk to each other. And then what do you do?

Talk to each other. Oh, okay. Yeah, right. What about? Fair enough, yeah. What are you guys talking about nowadays? I don't know,

just the dog. Right, okay. Why? I'm just after some fresh Convo stuff. We've been together since 2004. Yeah. Like we've covered all the 2000s.

Yeah. That's to be pretty, it's almost a race sometimes to see who can talk about something that hasn't been talked about. Yeah, because we're together all the time now. We work together now. So we'll sit down and be like, so what can you tell me? I'll be like, nothing. I don't know, you've been there. You know literally everything.

How was your day? You were there for all of it and any part of it I covered earlier when I first arrived at the place of work. Yeah, exactly. And the last one's avoiding eye contact. Make sure you actually look at them in the eye. No matter how awkward you feel, you've got to be a human, you've got to be a grown-up human

and make some eye contact at some point. Preferably when you first meet, at least. Right. Those are just a few dating tips to remember. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. If you enjoyed this podcast, why not give ZM's Bree and Clint a listen too?

Subscribe on the iHeartRadio app or wherever you get your podcasts. Hit music lives here. ZM.